#when I queued this it was still called Twitter.
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#will wood#will wood and the tapeworms#i posted this on Twitter#idk if this went on here though#look at his anime#when I queued this it was still called Twitter.
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These Are The Suede Songs 001: Early Recordings
Suede’s early trajectory is often described, especially by the band themselves, as “the world’s longest overnight success”. Four years of slogging the toilets of London, from playing humiliating gigs to, on one occasion, nobody at all, to appearing on the front page of Melody Maker, may sound quick, but in musical terms can feel like a lifetime. This was during the era of musical trends coming and going in rapid succession, a little like fashion microtrends today. Within those four years, Baggy and the Second Summer of Love, The Stone Roses and Spike Island, raves and ecstasy, made way for American grunge - precisely the opposite, and amongst this cultural shift, quietly grafting their way, were Suede.
Whilst there aren’t a great deal of surviving bootlegs or demos from this era, I still felt incredibly compelled to cover what I could find in a dedicated post. Research was rather fruitless at times, and I found much of the writing on this period of the band’s career to be marred (cough) by the insistence of male writers to throw all of their energy into a somewhat troubling obsession with what is perceived as the infamous Anderson-Frischmann-Albarn “love triangle”. I took to Twitter (or, blegh, X) to vent my frustrations, and received a reply from my friend Tasha who, much more eloquently than I, expressed how Justine Frischmann is viewed as merely an object in an interpersonal drama, rather than a fleshed out musician in her own right. Are women doomed to simply be accessories to their male counterparts? I find this disheartening when Frischmann is so integral to not only the Suede “story”, but, in my opinion, to what would go on to become the sound we all know, and love.
My analysis will frequently include my personal opinions, and should not be taken as definitive. Where necessary to the discussion of the songs, tidbits of info may be provided in order to “set the scene”. This series should not be used as a biography, but instead an exploration of a body of work. It will be by no means objective. I’m a massive Suede fan. I’ve travelled up and down the country for gigs, queued from as early as 6am for a coveted barrier spot, my cat is (in a roundabout way) named after an obscure Bloodsports-era B Side. I’m a self-professed fangirl. Having said this, I’ll do my best to not let this get in the way. And with all of the preliminaries seen to, we begin with,
Just A Girl (Anderson/Frischmann)
Though credited to Anderson-Butler, this light, airy folk ballad is reportedly the oldest surviving Suede tune, dating far before Bernard Butler joined. The version that appears online, and on the deluxe edition of the debut, is likely a home demo recorded by Brett Anderson and Justine Frischmann.
Anderson, in his memoir Coal Black Mornings, explains the titular girl, “north of England way”, is a Middlesborough-born Chemistry student called Emily, with whom he shared a flat on Daisy Bank road in Longsight, Manchester, in the year after he moved from Haywards Heath to the rainy industrial Northern city. ‘Just A Girl’ really couldn’t be set in any city other than Manchester. It describes the beginnings of a fond friendship, perhaps more, distinctly against the backdrop of a harsh, wet winter, overlooked by grey skies and red-bricked former warehouses. It’s the first, blushing, awkward flushes of young love. It’s leaving your University lectures at half past three when it’s already pitch dark. It’s when you say something you shouldn’t to the person you fancy after a few drinks. It’s huddling under the covers to stay warm, the excitement of closeness and companionship.
I typically have a complete, and near visceral, aversion to anything, musically or otherwise, that can be described as “twee”. Just A Girl, I feel, does undeniably dangle its harmonies and lyrical depictions of turning the page of one’s favourite book perilously close to the jaws of this accusation.Yet, I simply cannot bring myself to dislike it. Whilst musically competent, if a little naive, it’s sweet and genuine, and for that, it’s rather lovely.
There are already some allusions to Anderson’s later lyrical themes; the combination of love and tragedy as he laments how “it could have been so different if we’d only had more time”. Anderson, as we’ll explore, is rarely one to write a straight love song. No matter how they may seem, there is always a thread of tragedy, or drama, which underpins the affair and protects against it veering into saccharine territory.
For a few years now, I’ve cited the “ashtray eyes and bootlace ties” line to be a direct harbinger of some of Anderson’s later lyrics, most likely thinking of 2011's ‘Brittle Heart’,from his solo album Black Rainbows. However, this is in fact, lifted from Ian Drury’s ‘Sweet Gene Vincent’, more directly alluded to with Anderson and Frischmann lamenting how “Sweet Gene Vincent was never that good”.
According to Anderson, on regular rotation on the turntables of himself, Frischmann and Mat Osman around this time, were a band called The Lilac Time. Quoted in David Barnett’s comprehensive biography, Love And Poison, he describes them as “quite light, leftfield pop sort of thing (...) lots of major seventh chords”, and this influence is abundantly clear on ‘Just A Girl’, and would have possibly done even more had it made it to the studio around this time.
Frischmann’s, when she and Anderson met, record collection was largely comprised of folk music. In an irritating display of arrogance, Anderson insisted that these records would “no longer be listened to '' with him now in the equation. This decision would, of course, prove seminal in the trajectory of Frischmann’s music career in Elastica, as Anderson introduced her to spiky post-punk, however I find this to be rather ironic considering the undeniable folky nature of this particular song.
‘Just A Girl’ would later be re-recorded by Anderson and Richard Oakes, possibly around 1994, though reports of this vary, but not released to the public until a B-side was required for the single ‘Attitude’ in 2003. More on that (much) later, of course.
Natural Born Servant (Anderson-Butler)
‘Natural Born Servant’ is the actual first song in our timeline to be written by Anderson-Butler, and sees Suede as close to flirting with Baggy as they ever would.
As a result, this one comes across as rather trite, not to mention overlong, clocking in at six minutes and twenty seconds.
During my initial re-listen in my research for this project, I found myself incredibly puzzled as the chugging, Madchester intro spluttered into a half-hearted groove, before realising I’d gotten it entirely confused with a later track, ‘Be My God’. Frischmann shows herself a competent backing vocalist, possibly more so than Anderson. One YouTube commenter, possibly humorously, alludes to him “doing a Phil Oakey”, and there is indeed a resemblance. Anderson’s, however, is more naive, though he can certainly carry a tune and his voice is pleasant and sweet, possibly to the song’s detriment, when one considers the subject matter.
Much like a large proportion of Suede’s work, ‘...Servant’ sees Anderson dallying with sexual imagery, and more specifically, BDSM imagery. This attempt, however, whilst enjoyable enough, is surprisingly sexless. It’s almost a feat in itself to write about sex in such a decidedly virginal manner, but I’m glad this was a theme he stuck with throughout his lyrics and it hints at greatness yet to come. More interestingly, however, is the use of sexual imagery as a commentary on class struggle. “You’re a natural born servant/this is the time to open your eyes”, can be viewed as a submissive accepting their place, or a working class individual gaining class consciousness and becoming aware of their oppression in society.
I must say, I’m glad that this was as far as Suede’s relationship with Baggy really went, at least in the recordings I could find and actively listen to. It’s common to speculate of a song like ‘...Servant’ being indicative of a type of “alternate universe” Suede, but I couldn’t disagree more with this. Suede and Baggy just doesn’t work, and they would have always found their sound one way or another.
Justice (Unknown, possibly Anderson-Frischmann-Butler)
Surprisingly, this is the only song of this lot that I find myself drawn to the YouTube search bar to listen to out of choice. It’s almost certainly my personal favourite of all of the pieces we’ve covered here.I even found myself lip syncing to the chorus as I wrote this very paragraph! Oddly, I can’t find too much to say about it. It’s a sweet little, possibly even catchy, slice of Jangle pop. One of the thousands of happy-sad breakup songs of the late 1980s and very early 1990s. Anderson likens it to Aztec Camera’s ‘Oblivious’, which is a far, far better citation than the endless Smiths comparisons I once myself fell privy to, which have since become a cliche.
We again hear Anderson’s vocals not quite having come into themselves yet, there’s a hint of insecurity and hesitancy. They’re so far removed from what we understand as his vocal styling, that one YouTube commenter on the version I found asks if Butler sings vocals. There is present, however, a deep understanding of melody and an undeniable hookiness. I can see myself going back to this one for the odd listen.
Wonderful Sometimes (Unknown, possibly Anderson-Butler)
Gary Crowley, the geezer-ish presenter of the Sunday Afternoon show Greater London Radio, was the host of Demo Clash; a competition held each Sunday on the aforementioned radio station. As the title suggests, this was a show where London bands would send in demos, that would go head-to-head in a public vote. As pointed out in Love and Poison, however, this would largely amount to a game of “who has the most mates”. Anderson would later show dismissal, if not outright disdain for ‘Wonderful Sometimes’. In Dave Thompson’s Suede The Next Life, First Time Around, he describes the song as “shit (...) nothing to get interested in. (...) [GLR] was a little local station, and we’re talking about London where everyone’s in a band.” Still, it would end up on a compilation cassette called What The World Is Waiting For compiled by Adrian Gibson, programmer at Powerhaus on Liverpool Road, N1.
According to the Discogs listing, the idea was to showcase ten up-and-coming bands who were performing at the venue during this time (from a title like that, go figure). There was additionally a launch night at The Powerhaus, and Gibson was interviewed by Crowley to promote the gig.
As for the song itself? ‘Wonderful Sometimes’ contains a few witty one-liners, “you couldn’t liven us up with a cattle prod” and “i’ve heard of happy ever after / it was just a joke but you could die laughing” particularly stick out. Personally, I quite enjoy “Do I just love you ‘cause you look quite good”, but that’s because, as a young-ish woman and a passionate fan, this is an accusation I’ve had levelled at me in the past, and I know I’m not the only one!
‘...Sometimes’ is viewed by many as the holy grail of early Suede recordings, but for something so revered, it’s a decent enough piece of music, but it’s nothing special, even in the context of the other songs we’ve covered. Musically, I try to avoid Smiths comparisons, but here it’s unavoidable as the whiff of William, It Was Really Nothing and even some base notes of Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, is enough to give you a migraine. Butler’s playing really is more Marr-ish than Marr, but drenched and sadistically drowned in a wah-wah pedal at times, eliciting a comparison to Fool’s Gold, though, mercifully, this is over much sooner.
More excitingly is a noticeable shift in Anderson’s vocal styling, now carrying slightly more confidence and having something of a personality. Here, he’s sounding almost like Robert Smith of The Cure, minus the “Robert Smith-isms”. A deliberately but self-consciously Sussex drawl (The Cure, and Smith, were from up the road from Haywards Heath in Crawley), and a slight nasal intonation.
Ultimately, I don’t so much understand the hype around this one - the reviews on RateYourMusic are unanimously positive, but it’s a jolly tune and, likely because of that, decidedly un-Suede.
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Official Dreamworks Digital SPOP Releases
I put a bunch of these in other posts I've posted before or things I queued up to post later when i was archiving everything form the Twitter account but since we were talking about this I might as well collect them all in one post...
The She-Ra Page on the Dreamworks activity center links to many (some of the links are broken) of the official digital merch they made.
There are Zoom backgrounds, watch along bingo cards, recipies, and some printable paper craft things like the mini-figs from Roll With It, the She-Ra Sword, and the valentines (which also include a papercraft model of Bow's arrow).
The She-Ra virtual reality room which is kinda boring but props to them for trying, I guess.
For use with VR set ups, obvs, but you can view it in a browser as well.
Want something really random? Scholastic had a math handout they did as part of their newsletter for schools featuring Marcus Scribner as Bow. Brand synergy is a mysterious thing.
The text version is here if you prefer to read
Lastly, there was a handout on how to read First Ones language also done by Scholastic to cross promote the books...
There was also a paper hand out they had at the Scholastic booth at cons and I actually own that but I don't have time to find / scan it at the moment.
There was an official She-Ra Instagram filter (beloved of my children) which is alas no more but you can see their IG story about it here (assuming that link works?)
And, of course, there is the sticker app which is still available in an app store near you and I uploaded most of the stickers from it to Tumblr a while ago as well.
Lastly, a lot more of the printable crafts they did can be found on @dreamworksshera which is the official tumblr of the show. There's a pattern to make Bow's shirt, Spinnerella themed pinwheels, a Sea Hawk flag, Netossa net and Mermista smoothie that I remember off the top of my head. Unfortunately, whoever ran that account did not understand tagging at all so they are very hard to find but such is life!
cc-ing @n7punk and @clarenecessities just since this conversation is all over the place and confusing as hell
#spop#shera#she ra#marcus scribner#dreamworks#scholastic#official merchandise#bow#long post#i am nearly positive there are more scholastic handouts but I haven't been able to find them
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.
I know I should stay off certain fan takes but they bleed into timeline even momentarily, Twitter enables this a lot of the time.
But if I see another conspiracy theory about Mile and/or Apo mistreatment because BOC have favorites, I am going to scream.
The fans have reached a point where it's just intentionally reading malice into every move, and that is the most exhausting mindset to be in. How difficult is to not assume, to not keep track of what's happening with other people you say you don't care about, and to not just be covetous of what the other side gets.
Repeatedly: we do not know behind the scenes what goes on. There is a level of transparency that can be demanded, but not everything, because contracts with advertisers and other members of the creative industry still have confidentiality clauses built into them. Not to mention that event work guidelines will differ all the time.
This is specifically in reference to the perceived oppression of Apo and his popularity because he didn't get a flight send-off but BBB did, but no one knows or has been able to confirm if (a) his official FC requested, (b) Apo preferred to keep flight details private until last minute (which is not at all implausible as he has expressed discomfort with stalking/wanting to keep his "off work" time private), and (c) as BOC has tweeted there appear to be confidential details being kept re: his work schedule and it's likely some sort of other extra work he's doing beyond the released event schedule, that they'll want to keep under wraps until the opportune time to publish it. On (c) this is a normal thing that happens! Projects may fall through hence details aren't released until finalized and sometimes that's right before the actual release of whatever it is!
Not to mention there's a real indication here as well that BBB's event contract includes their preparation process which is likely why BOC approved the flight send-off. Largely for the optics as it's going to be filmed.
Or the fact where people alleged the release of Mile's WanDay was orchestrated to specifically make Mile and Apo "fight" on the hashtag charts or whatever, since it was filmed around August, but. This is wild to me how people don't realize it takes time to edit footage, and they were in the thick of preparing for KPWT Phase 1 which is probably why they're only releasing longer footage now (the Mafia Kindergarten eps are 15mins long at most, quicker to churn out), and they may have had it queued in even before Apo's event schedule was confirmed. But it's insane to assume they chose this date to "war" with Apo's schedule or hashtag trending.
Which also makes me uncomfortable how much policing goes into what the fans have to be doing to "be a fan." Like. Fans are allowed to not trend hashtags, or choose to consume content at a later time, or maybe even choose what activity to keep up with at a certain time. Why are people fighting over "how to be a fan" and calling each other fake for only committing to trend for one person or whatever. It's unrealistic. People have varying attention spans and interests, let them be. Let them have their fan experience as they want it. Hashtag trending is one aspect and should be a fun thing to do, not something weaponized at this point.
Like. I am not a company stan and I do not want to be one, but assuming malice right out of the gate is so wild when you could just. Wait for more details, or clarify things. Anything but jumping straight into "must defend" mode when no one is being attacked. Coveting and comparing is not something I expected to see in a fandom for actors, who all will get very different opportunities anyway according to their branding and preferences.
And I know BOC also instigated a lot of this as well with their past unprofessionalism but they have recently actually been taking steps in the right direction. They're becoming more transparent, responding more quickly (they postponed Mile's WanDay vlog as soon as the fan feedback rolled in), and accommodating fan requests where applicable. It is definitely not perfect, but I'm uncomfortable with the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" gut reactions people are continuing to have.
Look, I'm not saying they don't deserve criticism. But maybe recognize we don't know all the details behind the scenes, and there is a good reason for that (contracts! confidentiality clauses!). Also work to remove yourself from a cycle of assuming the worst because it can literally fuck up your reactions so much that you get mad over the seemingly innocuous, harmless things.
Remember, the KP cast are very much social media aware. They see everything happening in real time (👀 Mile), don't put them between a rock (BOC, the company they will work with indefinitely and have personal stakes in) and a hard place (their fans, whom they're all so grateful for and are trying their damnedest to please).
TL;DR Life is 100x better when you wait and seek out more information rather than assuming malice at every turn.
#to delete later#kinnporsche cast#fandom wars#terminally online takes#social contracts#be on cloud#this fandom is going to implode on itself soon if it does not learn to reel back on the bad faith takes#and reserve the energy for the actual bad things happening
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Self-Celebration
me: oh no, I've gotten nothing done, I'm a failure
them: wow, Danni, how do you do so much????
I, maybe, need a good reminder of all of my accomplishments, so here we go. Everything I've accomplished this year so far. That I remember, anyway.
Threw together my HP Astro series; edited and formatted and posted to AO3 in time for Bethy's birthday!
Got White Lies & Silver Bells ready to go live on AO3 as soon as Hoggywartyxmas reveals were up!
Wrote Again (and Again) on a whim, to accompany A-Loveunlaced's Snarry art
Wrote a BUNCH of random drabbles for a House of Snarry challenge. 6 of which I also posted to AO3! (A handful of which I have not yet.)
Wrote 5 fics for Kinkuary! 2 of which are in the same universe as Contempt. 2 of which are not yet posted (waiting for the 27th and 28th!) 1 of which (the longest of which) I wrote, edited, and posted same day! The day after I had a tooth extraction.
Wrote 3 fics for Chan Fest! All of which I wrote, edited, and posted same day. 2 of which are 5k+ words!
Various words in various other places.
Brainstorming for other fics.
Co-modding @hp-chan-fest
Starting @hp-fruit-fest (and running solo, RIP me)
Modly duties on the Snarry Sanctuary Discord server
Keeping on top of my AO3 comments! (You know, responding to them.)
New HP Astro posts (Lily, Snily, Luna, and Ron (to be posted 3/1/23!))
Made several ship and fic related playlists on Spotify
Made TONS of fic banners on Canva.
Several rec lists! 8 posted so far, and a few queued up!
Got my home office all set up and cozy!
Brainstorming ideas with friends
Helping alpha/beta/cheer read for friends
Try to stay involved in the community/socializing on Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit.
Supporting other creators as much as possible!
Finally took the time to learn how to create work skins on AO3!
And site skins!! And finally got all fic stats and personal stats hidden (for mental health!)
Fought with site skin codes on behalf of a friend, to get it tuned to her liking, so that she has a clean and stress-free environment if/when she returns to fandom! (The perks of having your friends' AO3 login haha!) (This took like an hour I stg and I was being way too stubborn to stop fiddling and consult a guide.) (But oh well, I did the dang thing!!!!)
Started compiling resources I need to begin book binding! Still a ways off before I can start cuz supplies are not cheap, but I'm on the right path!
ALSOOOOO
Working a full time job
Spending time with my longtime partner (my beloved Eddie-bear!)
I actually watched a still-newish show for once! Wednesday!
Finished reorganizing/decluttering my home
Baked...a lot. Mostly cookies. Going to bake brownies this weekend!
Many doctor's appointments
And medication changes
I filed my taxes!!
Oh yeah and started being a teensy bit more sociable at work! I had a nice long conversation about ASTROLOGY the other day which was fun and great and awesome.
Oh let's not forget about all my work accomplishments! I made 8 years with my company. All the people coming and going (which I get to deal with.) Our census going way up. Many IT calls and playing IT person for small tech problems. Many errands run. Oh yeah and all the new tasks I get to do because our funder and our corporate office BOTH love changing expectations frequently.
So like...there's stuff I wish I could do and haven't been able to yet. But I'm far from a failure! Or lazy, for that matter. I am a lady of ACCOMPLISHMENT.
#danpuff stuff#personal#self-love is self-care#gotta recognize my wins#my therapist is going to be so proud
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𓆩⟡𓆪 | #PHOTODUMP
[ march housekeeping! ]
#UPDATES.
march is marching on so its housekeeping timeeee.
honestly there isn't much that needs saying in my little Notes section of this month's housekeeping - last month was just... pretty quiet for me creatively and very noisy in my irl life hahaha. because of this i wasn't as productive writing wise as i wanted to be in february, BUT that's okay. it's a short month and sometimes life just keeps coming at you fast.
overall my objective is to be more consistent and present, which seem like more sustainable approach for me rather than focusing on accruing a bunch of posts + interactions. my primary goal (detailed below) is to start more threads, but in tandem with that, my hope for march is to keep tuned in to the happenings of the group both ic and ooc, better than i was able to last month at least. i think doing so will help me continue towards a workable foundation for cater's ic presence in the directory's goings ons. •ᴗ•
goals + progress under the cut! ↷
#MANIFESTING.
in terms of keeping up with my writing goals last month, i wasn't super productive. i did for some reason prioritize and achieve my monthly stretch goal of finishing the stamp card, which honestly was a fun push on feb 28th when i remembered i wanted to do that kdfgkhfg. this month, i'm going to try to be more consistent with checking off the stamps.
i did not manage to honour my goal of starting more threads + getting a starter call out. soooo, this month, my primary goal remains curation of more threads so i'm not just relying on one (1) for my activity every month. getting started is so intimidating to me for some reason but like... gotta do it ♡ i think i'll try to begin with an open starter and go from there bc idk how to start plotting otherwise lol.
i was able to get through [2/5] of the memies symbol headcanon prompts, which i'm going to count as a win. i still have three that are being steadily drafted & queued, so finishing and sharing those by the month's end is hopefully in the stars as my secondary goal for march.
nothing to report progress wise on the [3] additional meta/headcanon posts i mentioned in last month's housekeeping - i'm still ticking away at my cater thoughts and figuring out how i want to present them. they're technically still my tertiary goal, but i don't imagine i'll finish + share them until april unless i really start cranking out posts kahdfghkfg...
as always, my thread tracker is in my pinned post & i'm reachable on discord and twitter for plotting. happy writing, everyone!!
#𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘢 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴... | OOC.#𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵! | HOUSEKEEPING.#[ ngl u guys for someone who loves to write i sure am afraid of writing sometimes ]#[ i think that's why group settings are so valuable though sigh ]#[ someone needs to kICK ME though so i actually start threads this month !! ]#[ really enjoying doing minis and its helping me ease in but woof ]#[ that said if anyone has been eyes emoji at cater and u need threads............. grabbing u ]
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“She had done nothing wrong. She had proud vulnerability … and there is a certain music industry hatred for singers who don’t ‘fit in’ (this I know only too well), and they are never praised until death - when, finally, they can’t answer back. The cruel playpen of fame gushes with praise for Sinead today … with the usual moronic labels of “icon” and “legend”. You praise her now ONLY because it is too late. You hadn’t the guts to support her when she was alive and she was looking for you. The press will label artists as pests because of what they withhold … and they would call Sinead sad, fat, shocking, insane … oh but not today! Music CEOs who had put on their most charming smile as they refused her for their roster are queuing-up to call her a “feminist icon”, and 15 minute celebrities and goblins from hell and record labels of artificially aroused diversity are squeezing onto Twitter to twitter their jibber-jabber … when it was YOU who talked Sinead into giving up … because she refused to be labelled, and she was degraded, as those few who move the world are always degraded. Why is ANYBODY surprised that Sinead O’Connor is dead? Who cared enough to save Judy Garland, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday? Where do you go when death can be the best outcome? Was this music madness worth Sinead’s life? No, it wasn’t. (…) As always, the lamestreamers miss the ringing point, and with locked jaws they return to the insultingly stupid “icon” and “legend” when last week words far more cruel and dismissive would have done. Tomorrow the fawning fops flip back to their online shitposts and their cosy Cancer Culture and their moral superiority and their obituaries of parroted vomit … all of which will catch you lying on days like today … when Sinead doesn’t need your sterile slop.”
“I was surprised by my response to her death. It really has shaken me. I must admit I did not find it unexpected. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve been waiting for this. I feared this would happen. I understood what crisis she was in and I was very concerned and my biggest fear has come true. I can’t say I’m surprised. I really saw in Sinead a figurehead, a flag-bearer. And to have lost that, it feels devastating.
(…)
After Amy Winehouse died so much was made of Amy and her death — rightly, I hasten to add. But what is astounding to me and was a source of great frustration and indignance for me, is we had this incredible artist, we had Sinead O’Connor alive and well. Yes, she was struggling, but she was still a phenomenal artist, and yet she was ridiculed in the press.
She rarely got the kind of coverage that an artist of her caliber deserved. She just didn’t garner the kind of musical respect that she deserves. And it makes me so insane, that there’s been this outpouring of grief at her death. Which again, is so right and as it should be. And yet, she could have done with a lot of that support while she was alive. And I just don’t understand this phenomenon that when artists die, we all of a sudden revere them again and yet we forget about them whilst they’re alive because they’re not young and beautiful anymore.
Women, female artists, just get thrown to the side and aren’t treated with the reverence they deserve. And particularly with Sinead, it drove me insane. I just didn’t understand how she could be facing bankruptcy because she was struggling so much in an industry that’s so unforgiving and designed for the sort of young, appeasing, staged, trained pop star. And instead we had this true great that we just let die on a vine. It’s madness.
(…)
What happened to Sinead is just another example of what the world does to powerful women. I feel like the world destroyed Sinead O’Connor. She was so delicate. Yes, she was courageous and brave and fierce and powerful. But she was also really unbelievably fragile and sensitive. And the world just tossed her around and defiled her, and now we’ve lost somebody that we’ll not see the likes of, not in my lifetime. It’s so sad because she’s so often begged for help, and she was made fun of by the tabloids for a variety of occurrences in her later life. They vilified her for the way she looked. What the fuck is that? What business is it of anybody’s, how Sinead O’Connor chooses to look?
It was almost like people didn’t want to look at her. She was so perfect when she first emerged and everyone fell in love with her, and then she didn’t behave the way that the world wanted her to behave. And everyone turned away. And when they looked back, she had aged and people couldn’t stomach it. And so they rejected her entirely. Because she hadn’t gone and fixed herself in a Beverly Hills salon. She was raw and real and honest, and in some ways was a mirror to who we all are.
The media just couldn’t handle that. It was too much. They wanted her to be back in a pretty box, really looking cute with her little shaved head and her little pixie face. And singing an incredible love song, but she was so much more than that.
I think she knew she was loved in many regards, but I also think she was really sensitive and it must be painful to be laughed at for decisions that you’ve taken really seriously. When she identified with the Muslim faith, for a random example, the tabloids in Ireland and in Britain really had a heyday. I’m sure that was humiliating. It’s not fun. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are as an artist — to be made fun of in public, to be ridiculed, to have your photographs laughed at because you’re no longer like a plastic version of yourself? It’s no fun. It’s cruel and unnecessary.
And artists are artists for a reason. There’s a certain sensitivity that comes with being a person who’s willing to step out and perform and reveal themselves and expose themselves and offer themselves up to the public for consumption. It comes from an alarming sensitivity that is very raw and real and I think sometimes people who aren’t necessarily that sensitive are perplexed by the responses that they can induce in a sensitive person.
She was clearly in serious distress. At one point she went missing. People thought it was funny, and it wasn’t funny. It was somebody in deep distress begging for help, and again, she was facing bankruptcy. She had no money. She was just left to her own devices, this incredible creature who had made hundreds of millions of dollars for these massive corporations, who were nowhere to be seen.
It’s all done and dusted now, unfortunately, and, we’re left with this beautiful legacy, but it freaks me out thinking about how much torment she was in her whole life. But what was incredible about her spirit was she really had an amazing sense of humor by all accounts. Chrissie Hynde was saying yesterday that she was really a riot to hang around with. And my friend who Sinead had lived with for a year or so had sent me an amazing photograph of her flipping some flight attendant off who had been trying to discipline her on the plane for laughing too loud. So she was just a riotous, fantastical, joyous being in many regards, too. She wasn’t a sad sack, who just laid down and had the world trample over her. She was fighting, I think by all accounts, to the very end with great humor and intelligence and immense artistry.”
“And now, dear sister,
may your eyes behold the mountains of paradise”
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But It’s An Animal Hospital
Prompt by @jurassicsickfics 1: Intense Isla Nublar/Sorna heat causing nausea. Thanks for keeping the fandom alive!
Tags: Clawen, Sickfic, One Shot, Jurassic world, Pre-Jurassic World (2015), Claire Dearing/Owen Grady, Owen Grady takes care of Claire Dearing, heat exhaustion, pov descriptions of feeling sick
Summary: Claire suffers from mild heat exhaustion and Owen takes care of her, cuteness ensues. Clawen one shot sickfic.
Content warning, pov descriptions of feeling sick.
Notes: Personally, I'm not a big fan of reading about stomach upset and think it's really gross, so the descriptions of nausea are pretty mild. No one actually ends up v*miting. So, sorry if that's your thing?? To each their own though.
Happy Jurassic June everyone! Clawenafterdark on twitter, shout out to you!
Also, this is the first Clawen fic I've ever written and I've been obsessing over another fandom lately so this may read a little out of character, I'm not really sure. I tried my best. Thank you so much for reading! < 3
Keep reading under cut
Link to work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47698048
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The sun was beating down on Claire all day, and the humidity felt like it was trying to choke her. It was the hottest day of the year yet, and of course today was the day that Claire's schedule had her running all over the park.
Her usual morning meetings had been replaced by an investors tour which she had been giving around the outdoor paddock of one of their newest attractions. She had answered question after question in the ninety degree heat, trying to look composed while brushing sweat off her brow, and it wasn't even noon then.
She'd known she'd be outside for the majority of the day, and so she had dressed accordingly in her loosest and lightest business attire, but given it was only morning when she started to tire from the heat, she knew she had a brutal day ahead of her.
After the investors tour, which had unfortunately gone overtime, Claire had driven across the park to see about new developments for one of the resorts. Another outdoor meeting. Her car had felt like an oven on the way there with the air conditioning still not working since she kept forgetting to call the auto shop. She had to have all the windows down just so she could breathe. Of course by that time her water had gone warm and did nothing to cool her down.
When she had parked at the resort, she ripped open an instant cooling pack. Over the years of living on the island, she learned to keep them on hand for hot days like this. She hardly had the time to use it though if she wanted to get to her meeting on time, so she had tossed it in the glove compartment after a minute of use.
By the time Claire had gotten back to her car from meeting with the designers she was suffering from a small headache. The meeting had gone well enough, but it was a complete waste of time. All Claire did was nod her head in approval basically. She hated meetings like those. There were a million other things she could have been doing. She supposed the only reason she had been there was to instill fear into the staff and remind them of the standards they had to live up to. They never detoured inside the resort like she had hoped, so that was another sweltering, wasted 40 minutes of her life.
She had looked forward to driving back to her office to enjoy lunch indoors when she had gotten a phone call from one of the directors. There was a major brief happening later that day with Jurassic World's top veterinarian, and one of the directors working on the brief called her to come early, as they were dealing with an emergency that needed her input. She had stayed on the phone with the team as she drove over, and they queued her in on the scenario. She was basically approving the matter over the phone but she still needed to be there in person to see the situation through. By the time their little emergency had been taken care of, it was almost two hours past the matter, and it was now time for the regular scheduled briefing to occur.
This is how Claire found herself now at the main outdoor paddock, standing in the hot sun once again, not having had any break from the heat for the entire five hours she had been at work.
She was hungry, she had a headache, and God it was hot out.
She squinted as she looked around the paddock where herself, the vice president, top directors, the entire veterinarian department, head staff animal handlers, and a few select fellows, were meeting. Zara spotted her near the front of the group and came to stand by her side. Claire smiled at her in greeting and listened as Zara talked about her morning. Claire couldn't remember a word of what her assistant was saying, though. Claire kept zoning in and out of the conversation, tired from the morning she had. Though Claire lived on the island for about a decade now and was used to the Central American heat, she normally spent her work day indoors and wasn't used to spending long hours in the sun like this. It didn't help that she hadn't eaten since breakfast.
Her stomach grumbled a little then, and she tried to ignore the empty concave of her stomach and instead focus on the head veterinarian as he called the briefing to a start.
The brief began outdoors of the paddock, the sun still high in the sky and the heat peaking at the hottest hours of the day. It must have been well over a hundred degrees by now and the humidity was still suffocating. They thankfully moved indoors as they walked through the animal hospital, though the air was stuffy and warm from all the bodies in the room. That's when she noticed Owen Grady in their small crowd. He was standing near a few people she recognized to be animal handlers. He walked with that confident swagger he usually wears, and Claire felt her stomach somersault at the sight of him. She inwardly groaned as the butterflies in her stomach and added flush in her cheeks did nothing to help her feel any better in handling the heat. Her bangs were starting to stick to her forehead. She hoped she didn't look too much of a mess. Immediately, she scolded herself in her thoughts for being worried about what she looked like in front of Owen Grady of all people. She was not going to give that meat-head, scoundrel of a man anymore attention, no matter how handsome he was, nor how his voice dipped when he talked to her. Her stomach flipped again and she cursed in her thoughts. She most certainly did not give any attention to his backside as he followed the group out of the room, most certainly not. She took a deep breath as she followed everyone outside to another paddock. Being one of the last few people to exit the hospital, she ended up standing in the unwanted spot directly in the sun, the rays beating atop her head, most likely making her skin burn as well. She couldn't remember the last time she reapplied her sunblock.
Squinting against the sun, she tried to focus on what the veterinarian was saying but just had to pretend by this point. Gosh, the heat was so strong she was starting to feel lightheaded, she thought. Good thing Zara was taking notes. Claire took another deep breath, resisting the urge to fan herself and willed her mind to stay awake and focused. The briefing was allotted two hours in her calendar. She already felt like they'd been there for five, so it couldn't last much longer. She told herself she just had to keep it together until the meeting was over, and then she could go back to her air conditioned office in peace.
Unconsciously, Claire smacked her lips together, tasting the dryness of her mouth. Her stomach was starting to feel uncomfortably empty, she noticed. If she had some privacy she could let herself falter, she thought, but she couldn't let the staff see her in this state. Sure, Claire was only human like the rest of them, but she didn't want the image of her stumbling away lightheaded living in anyone's mind, especially the staff she commanded. She needed people to respect her.
She swallowed again, her mouth feeling pasty, and then her stomach cramped. She stilled, her breath hitching, until her muscles released and then she took a relieving breath. This could not be happening now, she thought. Perhaps she should find someplace to sit down, but she hesitated at the idea. This briefing was important and she had to be here. Breaking her from her thoughts, she caught some movement in her peripheral vision. Her eyes widened at recognizing Owen Grady standing at her right. She quickly collected her facial expression, hoping he didn't notice her surprise. Was he standing next to her the entire time, she thought? She spared another glimpse his way and tried not to notice the way his hand rested on his hip, or the way his other hand smoothed over his scruff, or how his musky scent drifted over from where he stood. Her cheeks flushed then, and heat swelled through her entire body. A wave of lightheadedness went through her again, and she wasn't sure if she swayed in her footing or if it only felt like she did. She spared a glance at Owen again and he seemed closer to her than before. Did she do that or did he, she wondered. Gosh, her stomach felt awful.
She tested her tongue in her mouth again, detecting a funny taste building up. She had no idea what the head veterinarian was talking about anymore. All she could focus on was the feeling of the sun beating down on her skin, and the beads of sweat trickling down her hairline, making her bangs stick to her forehead. Hot. She felt so hot. She briefly registered Zara's voice and then suddenly a shadow blocked the glaring sun from her eyes. Staring straight ahead, it took her a second to realize Owen Grady stood in her vision. She looked around to see the small crowd dispersing. She hadn't even realized the brief ended.
She heard Owen say her name then, and she turned back to him, finding it difficult to look up into his eyes.
"You okay?" Owen asked. He sounded a little fuzzy in her ears, though she recognized the concern in his voice even if she couldn't see his face.
Another wave of lightheadedness made her delay in response. "Fine," was all she was able to breathe out. Without thinking, she lifted her hand to hold onto his arm to steady herself and started to step towards the animal hospital. Her head instantly felt like it was trying to float away as she walked too quickly. Owen's hand pressed hot to her back, keeping her balanced.
He said something she didn't register and she found it comforting, but at the same time his warm breath was on the skin of her cheek and it made her stomach coil even more than it already was.
She didn't realize he was guiding her inside the animal hospital until the door closed behind them.
"The heat," she managed to breath out as she followed him to where she knew there was a private break room. Owen walked them too fast for her liking, though she knew they were walking slowly anyhow, and she feared she would faint on the way there, tightening her grip on his hand that she was apparently holding. The moment Owen opened the door to the small break room the cold air hit her face and she felt instant relief. She stepped through the door and breathed in the cold like she was gulping down ice water. She stumbled immediately into a chair at the small round table in the center of the room and rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes. One of her hands quickly moved to her stomach when she felt it tighten with another wave of nausea. She couldn't help the small cry that escaped her lips at the feeling.
"Claire." Owen pushed her hair out of her face. His strong voice helped her focus her mind.
"I'm okay. I'm okay," she panted, squeezing her eyes shut. She felt Owen brush her hair once more before leaving her side and heard him rumbling through the cabinets of the kitchenette. Claire continued to breathe in the cool air and felt her head steady to a slightly less floating sensation. It calmed her down a little and her heartbeat started to regulate.
"Drink this." She heard Owen's rough voice and then something thumped onto the table. She blinked her eyes open to half-lidded and saw an opened bottle of water in front of her.
She just stared at it for a moment, not having the strength to move right away. Then she lifted the hand from her stomach and reached for the water, raising her head just enough so she could take a drink. Owen sat to her right, fumbling with whatever else he brought over to the table, she didn't know what. Her stomach churned as she brought the water closer, but she knew she should at least try to drink something. She brought the bottle to her lips and took the smallest sip. When she swallowed she felt another wave of nausea, and she scrunched her face, turning away and setting the bottle back on the table.
"Try to drink some more," he prompted her softly.
"Mm." She shook head, still scrunching her eyes closed. "Nauseous," she explained, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her head on her hand again. She panted lightly as she gazed mindlessly in front of her, her heartbeat picking up again.
She heard Owen move something plastic around. "Here. This will help," he said.
She gasped as an icy cold sensation landed between her shoulder blades and then quickly relaxed, almost groaning at how pleasurable it felt. A shiver ran through her body and she sighed as she relaxed more, leaning her elbows further and sinking into the table. Her head slid in her hand as she tilted to look sideways, meeting Owen's eyes for the first time since being in the room. She just blinked at him as he stared at her, and then she closed her eyes again, too tired to focus on anything.
She relaxed like that for a minute before she felt Owen moving the ice pack up to the back of her neck. She breathed deeply again in relief.
"How are you feeling?" Owen asked softly.
Claire's head was still floating and her stomach a little sick, but she could feel her mind starting to come back to her at least. She sat up the slightest bit, still propping her head up by her chin.
Claire licked her lip before speaking. "A little better," she admitted, her voice slightly hoarse so she cleared it. She blinked at him, finally able to hold her focus on Owen clearly. His gaze was soft and there was a pretty shine in his eyes, she thought. Her stomach somersaulted for non-sick-related reasons, and she had to break eye contact with him in order to steady herself. She couldn't find the strength to lift her head from her hand, so she held the weight of it as she stared at the first aid kit Owen found, seeing the open wrapper of an instant cooling pack, not unlike one of the ones she used earlier today. "Mmm...I'm a little lightheaded. And nauseous still," she informed him. She lifted her free hand to grasp at the ice pack Owen held to her neck, and he argued with her not to bother. She grasped around his fingers anyway, noticing how cool his hand felt in comparison to hers, and told him she wanted the pack at her forehead, in which case he gave way and let her move it to where she wanted.
She held the pack against her head, closing her eyes as she absorbed the cold, glad to have the heat disappearing from the palm of her hand as well. It felt like her mind was waking up more with every passing minute, which she was grateful for. She heard Owen shuffle in his seat, then.
"Did you eat today?" His voice was tender still.
"Just breakfast," she responded honestly, and she heard the creak of the chair as he got up and rummaged around the kitchenet.
Her hands finally started feeling a normal temperature as she moved the ice pack to her left hand and leaned her temple into the pack, reveling in the cold soaking straight into her pulse point. She took in another deep breath and opened her eyes. She couldn't see Owen, just the empty chair he sat in before. She looked to her right using just her eyes, too tired to turn her head, and saw the blurry image of Owen in the corner of her vision, standing over the counter. The refrigerator hummed annoyingly in the background. She couldn't tell what Owen was doing, but she liked that she got to gaze at him, even in this blurry state. His shape came into focus as she followed him with her eyes as he returned to her. He placed a sports drink on the table, along with an opened box of crackers. She followed a drop of condensation with her eyes as it rolled down the length of the bottle when she heard his voice again.
"I know your stomach isn't feeling well, but you should try to get something in your system," he urged mildly, and she turned her gaze to his face.
His hazel eyes stared back at her, waiting. She inhaled as she looked back to the sports drink. She felt like she was coming back to her senses enough. She could try again at holding down a drink, she thought. Lifting her head from her hand for the first time since she came into the room, she let the ice pack slide from her temple down to her neck and held it there until she had to use both her hands to open the drink. She tried to unscrew the cap but it was sealed tight, and she didn't have the grip strength to try harder. Owen took the bottle immediately from her hands and opened it without effort, before placing it back in front of her and mumbling an apology.
"Thanks." Claire suppressed a smile. Gingerly, she lifted the drink to her lips and paused before taking a sip of the artificially bright yellow liquid. The moment the ice-cold drink filled her mouth her mind instantly woke up, her eyes widening as she pursed her lips at the strong sugary, citrus flavor before gulping it down. She blinked a few times and felt herself straighten up a little in her chair.
"There she is!" Owen's voice boomed throughout the small room and almost made her jump in her seat.
She turned towards him and saw the grin on his face that she knew would be there, the smile reaching his eyes and making them twinkle a certain way that she tried desperately not to find adorable.
She sat still for a moment, gauging the cool feeling in her throat and the way the cold liquid settled in her stomach. Her nausea didn't feel any worse, so she chanced another drink. It felt good.
She slouched in her chair again, resting her head on her hand as she held the ice pack behind her ear and looked at Owen. Her head was no longer floating, instead feeling a little heavy now, like a pressure headache had built up from her brain having melted in the sun. She took another drink, feeling the cold liquid settle in her stomach. She finally processed the whole of what happened here, and suddenly, she felt very intimate with Owen Grady. He was still looking at her with a smile in his eyes, and her heartbeat picked back up.
"You're looking better," he stated. "Your color’s gone back to normal."
She felt herself wanting to hide her face at his notice of her color, instead just faltering her gaze before looking back at him.
"Thank you,” she started, “but you didn't have to do this." Claire felt the urge to deflect his attention, hardly getting out the sentence before Owen started protesting.
"I had to make sure you were okay, Claire," he interrupted her, but she spoke on top of him, saying she would have been fine on her own to which his facial expression immediately objected.
"You were p-practically fainting, Claire. I couldn't ignore that. I had to make sure you were alright." He cut himself off then, and she wondered how strong his worry for her was. She thought his face said it enough, with his intense stare and the way he shook his head like he couldn't think of words to say. She noticed how his chest puffed as he breathed deeply and recalled how sharp his voice was just now. She thought she'd go easy on him and just accept his concern.
"Thank you," she gave honestly. She had to admit, it was sweet of him to stay with her and care for her in the first place. It was nice knowing someone cared. Or at least she let herself be hopeful enough or delusional enough, she wasn't sure which, to think he really cared, not just about the safety of a person, because she knew Owen would help anyone who needed it, but that he cared about her.
"I'm okay, now, Owen. Thank you, honest, but you don't have to stay," she regretted saying the words as soon they came out of her mouth, not wanting him to leave and more than that, seeing the way his eyes shifted away from hers. She didn't want him to think she wanted him to leave so she quickly added, "I mean, you're welcome to stay, but...you don't need to. I don’t want to hold you up." She fisted her hand in her lap. She couldn't understand how she could be commanding a boardroom one minute, and then when it came to this man she could hardly look him in the eye. Her stomach flipped and it made her nausea act up a little, a sour taste coming into her mouth. She cleared her throat and took another sip of the sports drink to bring a pleasant taste back.
"You're not holding me up." A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth, and she was glad to have said something right. His gaze quickly changed as he looked her over. "I'll leave, though, if you want to be alone," he hesitated and started to rise from his seat, and before she knew it she'd blurted out for him to stay.
Owen immediately froze, his mouth slightly ajar.
"Stay," she said again more clearly, processing her words this time. "I want you to...if you want to," she finished, finding it hard to keep eye contact with him. Her heart beat harder, and she felt the repercussions of it in her pounding headache.
Owen relaxed back into his seat, keeping his gaze locked on Claire.
"I want to," he replied softly. She noticed his eyes doing that twinkling thing again, and she had to look away. She scolded herself internally for her weakness.
"Then it’s settled," she ended, composing her thoughts and shifting the pack against her other temple.
Claire's stomach dropped when she saw a cheeky grin spread across his face.
"Never thought I'd live to see the day Claire Dearing admits she wants me around," he said, leaning into her space with his elbows on the table, and she instantly regretted making him feel comfortable in this situation. She ignored the musky scent that filled her space and rolled her eyes halfheartedly, her head feeling funny when her eyes went too far back.
"Don't make me regret asking you to stay," she warned, turning her head away from him and leaning against her other hand. "Can't imagine what would make me ask you to stay in the first place," she continued despite herself. "Oh, yeah, maybe the delusion from having my brain fried in the sun," she finished her statement by giving him a pointed look before turning back around. She closed her eyes, resisting the urge to roll them when she heard him chuckling behind her.
"Yep. You must be feeling better if you're already picking a fight with me," he laughed.
Shifting in her seat, she attempted to kick him under the table.
Owen scoffed. "Ms. Dearing, that is the most unprofessional behavior I've ever witnessed." Owen faked offense.
"Then good thing no one's here to witness," she replied easily without any strength behind the statement. She turned back to face front, eyes blinking before falling inevitably closed, her headache still evident.
"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take this up with the boss," he continued.
She turned to Owen this time and opened her eyes, half-lidded, and smiled slightly.
"Lucky for me, then, I'm the boss." She held his stare and her smile grew when he cracked a toothy grin. Only then did she twist back front to rest.
There was a moment’s pause between them and then Owen spoke up again.
"Is that still cool enough for you?" he asked.
"Mm, 's fine," she hummed and continued resting. She took another drink from the bottle and they sat in silence for a few minutes, Claire dozing off with her eyes closed and Owen just watching her. She felt the table move under her arms and could tell Owen leaned more into the table top. She heard his soft sigh.
"Do you need anything?" Owen asked gently, his voice so deep and so low and so close to her that it did things to her insides.
"Mm, no," Claire hummed in response, blinking her eyes a few times before giving back into her fatigue. "Thank you."
Owen's "OK" in response was so quiet she almost didn't hear it.
She let herself fall back into their comfortable silence, content to relax in his presence.
A couple of minutes had passed when Claire suddenly felt a tickle near her bangs. Her eyelids flinched at the sensation but she never opened them. She figured that was Owen touching her hair. She didn't mind exactly and allowed him to move the invisible strand of hair from her face, sighing lightly at his delicate touch. She wasn't sure what to make of the action or the fact that she let it happen, but it felt nice all the same.
He didn't touch her again after that and sat there with her silently for the next few minutes. After some time, Claire finally started to feel more like herself, her stomach mostly settled, fatigue wearing off, and headache greatly lessened.
She blinked her eyes open, taking a moment to adjust to the light of the room. Lifting her head from her hands, she turned to see Owen sitting up straight.
She supposed she should feel a little embarrassed right now about the whole situation but she didn't.
"You feeling better?" He looked her up and down once.
"Much better, yes." She nodded lightly and slowly made to stand up out of her seat. Owen followed suit and stood tall in front of her.
She tilted her head slightly to meet his eyes. She liked being able to actually look up at his face when she spoke this time.
"I should be getting back to my office," she noted regrettably, and Owen nodded in response.
"Do you need me to drive you back?" he offered, but she assured him she would be fine driving herself.
She didn't want to leave just yet, so she kept talking. "I had been outside all day," she explained, and he looked into her eyes and waited for her to continue. "My meetings had all taken place outside, and then something unexpected came up which distracted me from lunch. Of course all this happened on the day it decided to be over 100 degrees," she finished, looking up at him and he nodded still. She couldn't look away from his stare. His hazel eyes looked brighter than she remembered, maybe from all the sun they've been getting this week.
"I'm just glad you're okay," Owen finally spoke, his voice coming out tight, and suddenly she felt their close proximity, unsure of who even closed the gap between them.
Claire cleared her throat and broke eye contact first, taking a step back. "Well, thank you, Owen." She couldn't possibly call him Mr. Grady like she usually did, not after the way he looked after her just now. She hoped the look in her eye conveyed how much she appreciated his care.
"You're welcome, Claire," he replied softly, and she met his eyes once more before turning to move towards the door. Placing her hand on the knob, she spared him one last glance, keeping the image of him smiling softly at her in her mind as she left the room. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she closed the door behind her and let it out.
She managed to get back to her office safely and spent the rest of the day inside, only half paying attention to her work, one, because she was still recovering from heat exhaustion, and two, if she were honest, mainly because she kept remembering Owen Grady. After the way he cared for her and stayed with her it was difficult not to let herself indulge in those thoughts just a little bit. She couldn't get the image of his stare out of her mind and pondered if she should finally give in to the urge to go on a date with him. She let her mind wander in out of those thoughts as she worked and by the end of the day, realized she didn't get nearly as much work done as she should have. If anyone asked she'd blame it on the heat, but she knew to blame it on Owen Grady.
#clawen#clawen fanfic#clawen sickfic#clawen sick#claire dearing pov#pre jurassic world#my fic#sickfic#clawen fic#clawen fanfiction#clawen ff#one shot#but its an animal hospital#jurassic june#jurassic world
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hi it’s me 🍭again !
I am a fan of Zelda !!! I only played BOTW and TOTK so I don’t know if I can call myself a fan but I really enjoyed both ! I actually didn’t finished TOTK because I waited for my nephew to comeback from vacation so he can watch me beating Ganondorf (I also waited because I just don’t want to finish the game 🥸).
For age of calamity, I really enjoyed watching the cinematic hehehe. I actually don’t know very much about Koei game but I’ll look more into it later !
I can’t wait to see Zelda reference in one of the next fic !!
omgg who do you think it’s most likely to be jealous in dream ? Personally my top 3 will be : mark, jeno and maybe jaemin or haechan idkkkk
don’t worry !! it’s not a hassle for me to come everyday !! That’s okay, the wait between fics aren’t that long + I haven’t read all your works so it gives me time to read all of them 🫶🏼🫶🏼. I also enjoy reading your little update about the queuing (am I weird for that ? but I actually think that’s sweet that you’re telling us what you’re about to update next and everything ☹️).
for the beyond live, I actually haven’t watched it lol I just watched some clips on twitter but let me tell you. My biases in dream are Jaemin and Haechan but because of this concert… I feel like Jeno is also becoming my bias (he’s actually my bias wrecker since forever haha).
And the performance I enjoyed the most was Boom, because dream is my fav unit and they wore SUITS 😭🙏🏼 I am a sucker for men in suits, I don’t why but whenever I see one I’m like 🤩🤩🤩 so yeah
I also really enjoy talking with you💕
hello my lovely anon! looks like i might've accidentally missed this!! sorry for the late reply. :(
i totally get what you mean! i am also just relatively new in the sense that i only played AoC, BOTW, and TOTK, but that still makes us fans, i think! as long as we have experienced the content and feel positively towards it, that definitely makes us fans, regardless of what era we came into the 'fandom' during (i think that applies for all things). has your nephew not yet come back from vacation? i've also only finished the four villages again, but i'm now wasting time collecting bubbul gems and avoiding ganondorf because I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT MF! but if you ever beat ganondorf, let me know how it goes!! i'm curious to know if the fight is hard or similar to the phantom ones!
that's totally okay! koei games are rather old but i love how simple and mindless they usually are! when i was younger, i had a ps2, and that's when i first started playing dynasty warriors 4: empires. from then on, i was totally obsessed! some of their other games are samurai warriors (4 was great, but 5 is a super good story too!), atelier (e.g. atelier ryza), and i think they have tie-ins with other franchises like one piece warriors, fire emblem warriors, and super smash bros. ultimate to name a few!
for jealousy, i feel like my top three list is very odd, but i've rationalized it in my head enough to feel like i can defend it SOMEHOW (to myself): haechan, then mark, then renjun! haechan definitely feels like he'd be loud about being jealous too so that's why i put him on top! i can definitely also see jeno and jaemin have possessive streaks too!
it is absolutely not weird at all for you to be reading the queue updates! i'm super bad at keeping to plans because i'm a bit all over the place as a person and because i actually suffer from ocd, i have a tendency to fixate on something even if i know there's something else waiting for me and i feel compelled to do it to the point that i can't sit still at all until i get it done. hence, why i had no choice but to bang out salted caramel very quickly! i'm glad that the queue updates help you, and i really hope that in the future i won't have to confuse you or anyone else with my messy behavior :(
oh man... anon, i know exactly what you mean. jeno popped off a little too hard that day and i fear the worst for EVERYONE'S bias list (except the jeno ults, of course!). maybe he's intentionally coming for all our necks????????????? that seems like a jeno thing to do....................... how awful n inconsiderate of that sexy yummy man.................................... JSIFJSIDFJSIJFSIDJF
I GET WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!!!!!! we always love boom (jaemin's 2023 'ice cream' still POPPED OFF!) and the suit look is a classic we can't every get sick of. YOU ARE VALID IN YOUR THIRST, MY LOVE!
i'm always here for you! have a great day/night wherever you are, and remember to do something that makes you happy!
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civ 5 mods wont download new CB7+
💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
it sometimes takes a minute to have it download the mods. You might want to try opening the my game folder in documents, opening the civ 5. › civ › comments › civ_5_mods_not_downloading. › watch › v=0xA1mo6n1bg. The recent updates to the Steam client have changed the way the mods work. You won't see them by default. There won't be any status update. This is the same than the one released on Steam. You can put it directly into your Civ 5 Mods folder. Don't forget that for now, I only added the voice. It is reported that lots of users are vexed by the Steam Workshop not downloading mods issue. This problem often occurs when trying to download mods from Steam Workshop. How to fix it? MiniTool provides you with 5 effective solutions. If you often use Steam to manage your favorite games, you may encounter various issues such as Steam update queued , Steam failed to load, and the one discussed here. A great number of users encounter the DEV error when playing the latest Call of Duty modern warfare. This post will help you fix the DEV error If the Steam not downloading Workshop mods issue only occurs on a specific application, it indicates that the Steam mod files get corrupted. Step 2. Step 3. Type the following path in the search bar and hit Enter to find the mod folder. Step 4. If it is, delete the broken mod. Bear in mind that you delete all broken mods by repeating this step. Step 5. Open the Steam client and navigate to the Library tab. Right-click the affected game and select Properties. Step 6. Now, you can try downloading a new mod and check if the Steam Workshop not downloading mods issue is fixed. The corrupt download cache is another common factor that triggers the Steam Workshop not downloading subscribed mods issue. To fix this issue, follow the steps below to clear the download cache in Steam. Step 1. Expand the Settings menu and select the download tab. Click on the Clear Download Cache button at the bottom of the screen and click Yes at the confirmation prompt to clear the locally download cache. Log in to your Steam account again and try downloading the mod. Now, see if the Steam not downloading Workshop mods issue still persists. Many users reported that the Steam Workshop not downloading subscribed mods issue occurs when accessing the Steam Beta too frequently. So, you can opt out the Steam Beta and re-subscribe to the mods to fix the issue. Select the Account from the vertical menu of the left pane, and then click on the Change button under Beta participation. Change the status to None — Opt out of all beta programs from the drop-down menu and click on OK to save the change. As you might know, sometimes the download progress of the mods is only shown inside the Big Picture Mode. So, you can try using Big Picture Mode to fix the issue. Open your Steam client and then click on the Big Picture Mode icon at the upper right corner of the screen. Inside the Big Picture mode, check if the mod is downloading in the queue. You should make sure the download region is close to the exact physical location of your PC. Select Downloads from the vertical menu and then change the Download Region to the appreciate country on the right-hand pane and click on OK. Ariel is an enthusiastic IT columnist focusing on partition management, data recovery, and Windows issues. She has helped users fix various problems like PS4 corrupted disk, unexpected store exception error, the green screen of death error, etc. If you are searching for methods to optimize your storage device and restore lost data from different storage devices, then Ariel can provide reliable solutions for these issues. Partition Wizard. Download Partition Wizard. Tip: You should replace the Game Name to the name of your game. Facebook Twitter Linkedin Reddit. About The Author. Ariel Follow us. User Comments : Post Comment.
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Hello! I’m so sorry for bothering you but I remember in some of your posts when your were talking about the Arcane visual novel you mentioned that there was a sweet silco and jinx moment about him being concerned for her health or something. I can’t find it for the life of me. Would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction so I can find it or share a screen shot? Also, if you have any extra thoughts on it I would love for you to share a little? It’s completely up to you. Thank you for your time!
hey there! never apologize for sending me asks, I love them!!! sorry for the late reply.. it has been a bit of an anxiety week for me >.<
yes!! so there was a web browser game that was a self insert. I have seen it being labeled as “Into the Arcane”, “Browser Game”, “Arcane X Riot”, “Visual Novel” and any combination of those things lol. Its inaccessible now as it was only able to be played for a limited time.. i think maybe a week or two?
Essentially, you as the player were pulled through an arcane magic portal and you are running around trying to help Jayce, Viktor, and Heimerdinger fix the portals and restore balance and order.
in your investigation you identify Jinx as being the culprit to the troubles and chase her down. Now the dialogue changes depending on the answers you choose and i struggled to find anyone who had screenshots or video of the responses i chose but here is an example. I pulled the screenshots below from this video. The link is queued up at the timestamp when this closing scene begins: https://youtu.be/MJ7NGz6UYH8?t=511
and just for shits and giggles here is a different persons video of it where they choose slightly different options:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OufrkTPuhJM
So this is the normal preset. Everyone gets this part. Basically you enter the environment and walk up on them arguing. Silco is aware of the magic because you had previously gone to him with suspicion so its assumed here that he is scolding Jinx after connecting the dots from the information you shared with him during your accusations.
Basically Silco is insisting that this power isnt worth it and that Jinxs life is at risk if she doesnt give it up because the magic is unstable and is slowly tearing her apart.
Silco tries reassuring her and cut through her self doubt and its basically another iteration of the ‘you’re perfect’ line.
Jinx is sassy and argues back, you get to choose a path on how you respond to Jinx’s sass and that will start up the ending.
You then get to make a choice again on how you will combat Jinx trying to use the magic. This will effect the outcome of how the story dialogue plays
Silco insists you leave Jinx alone, concerned about her safety
And the ending is kinda odd.. Heimerdinger, Jayce, and Viktor all offer commentary after this last screenshot and Viktor says “Whoever She was, remember that Jinx was once a person” which is really wierd and makes it sound like she is dead. Then after that they just sorta pat you on the back and say “welp, lets get you home!” but when the auto prompts are all done you see Jinx and Silco hanging out next to each other and if you click on Silco to prompt dialogue he basically tells you to fuck off
So my thoughts on this are that, while this is not a canon storyline, it is still an official piece of AU content from RIOT and to me, that means that the scenery and the character behaviors are still reliable insights into the world of Arcane from the show.
There is also a video floating around that i saw on twitter posted by the official Arcane account called “Arcane Script to Screen: Act 3″
https://twitter.com/i/status/1464292879807827969
Looking at the script to screen and the interactions in the browser game/visual novel thing its totally clear to me and irrefutable that Silco truly did care for Jinx and saw her as his family. He truly prioritized her well-being above his ambitions and dreams.
I ALSO would like to point out that this is said in the script
“Coming to grips with the fact that she just killed another father” meaning that, for all you Vander lovers, Jinx DID see Vander as a father AND she sees her relationship with Silco as him being her father. Sorry to ruin it for all the Jilco shippers but yea. FATHER.
And Silco did, per the script, love Jinx:
“Silcos eyes, full of love, glaze over”
And some people might be like “well if he cared about her and wanted her safe, why send her to fight people blah blah” but, like, fighting the way she does is relatively normal for Zaun. Violence and murder and crime syndicates and all of that is just... like as simple as walking your dog. So yeah, Silco would have her do shit that put her at risk but i think he only ever tasked her with what he thought she could handle. I think Silcos love for Jinx is incredible, reliable, everlasting. Soo yea >.< to me it just.. furthers the point that Silco wants Jinx safe and by his side and values her over his Nation of Zaun ambition.
Also definitely watch the script to screen video! Its really interesting because Jinx was not originally written to shoot Silco!! She was originally scripted to have a music box explode and its shrapnel kills Silco. Jinx still has a shooting spree freak out but its at the music box, NOT at Silco. So for those of you who also say “Powders last act was to protect Vi by killing Silco”
No.
She was just having an episode and attacking whatever made noise that alarmed her. Sorry! I ruin all the things but like... its a thing... o.o And understanding the intent behind character actions helps us understand the characters and that gives us the ability to better write and extrapolate and predict etc soo... its important! Yeah! Woot woot!
Look at that. Im like Santa. I give you links, screenshots, AND words o.o lmao
#Arcane x riot#arcane#jinx#silco#browser game#visual novel#idk#its not canon but is official material so i consider it to still be reliable insights into the characters behaviors and thoughts#so i think its still useful?
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not my first non-queued post being me bitching jdjdjdndjdjd
so i actually brought this up on twitter, but i need to rant about it more because people make me SICK:
so, essentially, i am very.... childish, i guess, about how i feel towards the fandom's overall handling of Izuku’s character. i know that it's not case, but i still get the impression that i can't expect anyone other than izuku stans specifically to actually value his character (not only as it is in canon, but also in their fanon depictions as well), and that point that I referenced in the tweet (i can't find op and I'm also not trying to argue dudhdjdjd) just makes it worse.
this idea that it's, in some way, wrong or weird or bad to depict shouto (one of izuku's best friends) being upset/angry about his friend being mistreated is just?????? so odd to me? like, when you consider just a few pieces of sho and izu's dynamic, you have:
izuku meeting endeavor for the first time (before izu and sho could even be called friends) and telling him that his son is his own person, not endeavor's toy to manipulate and live through
izuku literally tearing his bones TO PIECES during his sports festival fight with sho, just to relay a fucking message (it was an important, very valuable message, but still)
izuku, recently, using his black whip quirk through his fucking mouth to try and save shouto from touya when his limbs were too busted for him to move otherwise
like, i know i whoop and holler about Todoroki "Ride-Or-Die" Shouto all the time, but izuku will pull up for sho just as much, and has done so multiple times in the series. so, with that being said: what is weird about having shouto hate bakugou for the abuse he put izuku through for all those years??? why is that not a conceivable idea? what is so wrong about someone actually giving a fuck about izuku enough to be angry on his behalf (again, especially when izuku's done the same for that person)????
like, i also don't understand the attraction anyone feels for shouto and bakugou's friendship (it makes no sense to me, honestly), but even if that's a part of it, no one can dispute how much izuku means to shouto. i cannot fathom a scenario where shouto finds out about the severity of bakugou's actions and doesn't get pissed off, at least, because izuku is his friend. canon has done a superb job building things up for us to have that understanding.
BUT, again, i want to touch back on that point i made about izuku stans being the only ones who really value izuku (which again, is a generalization that i don't mean as an absolute): points like this ("it's goofy/weird/what-the-fuck-ever that people making shouto hate bakugou for what he did to izuku"), feel like they come from people just really not caring about izu. like, why wouldn't you want that for him? what's so good about bakugou, or dismissible about his actions, or bad about izuku, that you come to this conclusion???? izuku can support and love everyone faves, but imagining those other characters giving just a fucking crumb of that energy back to him is just not possible, right?????
it literally makes no sense to me :/
BUT ANYWAYS, this is so much longer than i meant for it to be didndidndjdj sorry to put nonsense on the dash. I'm just in my feelings dudbdidnd
#i honestly might delete this later idk#midoriya izuku#todoroki shouto#anti bakugou#um#tododeku#but make it platonic#todoroki ride or die shouto#rant#also no i didn't read over this so sorry for nonsense#but also don't feel obligated to read this#I'm literally just complaining
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The bunch of keys in Remus’ hands jingled as he unlocked the glass door, opening the doors to the big space of bookshelves filled to the brim with leather bound books. Turning around, he smiled serenely as he looked around. Sunlight filtered through the gaps of the curtains.
He opened them, light now illuminating the entire bookstore. He sighed as he turned on the air conditioning, letting a cool breeze sweep over the entire shop.
He loved his job. He was surrounded by things he loved and it was all so calm and peaceful. Everything was what it was supposed to be.
Remus went behind the counter, clearing up any dust that had been left behind the day before. He looked at the clock.
“Eight,” he murmured, smiling softly to himself. “Gives me an hour, then.”
He shrugged on his coat, fixed his hair a bit and headed out with his wallet and phone, locking the doors again.
He headed down the street to which he’d just moved into, admiring the cute houses and occasional shop. He smiled brightly when he walked up to the place he’d been coming to ever since he opened his store.
He pushed open the glass doors, the smell of baked goods and coffee making his stomach rumble.
He stepped up behind two people who were queuing, silently pulling out his phone to scroll through Instagram. He smiled at Lily’s selfie with Marlene and Mary in the background. He commented sarcastic eye roll emojis and hearts and put his phone in his pocket when it was his turn to order.
“The usual, Mr. Lupin?”
Remus smiled shyly and he nodded, looking up only to find his breath taken away, as always.
Because in front of him was the cafe cashier, Sirius Black, wearing a white apron and a black turtleneck underneath, hair tied up in a messy bun.
“Yeah,” Remus replied a little breathlessly. “The normal.”
“Iced latte and chocolate muffin!” Sirius yelled to the people manning the food and drinks a few meters behind him. He faced Remus again, shaking his head amusedly. “Don’t know why you still drink an iced latte in this cold ass weather.”
Remus let out a small laugh. “Don’t know either.”
Sirius perked up. “Almost forgot. Now, don’t tell anyone, but...”
Sirius slid a paper bag with two warn double chocolate chip cookies in it. Remus blinked and shook his head, trying to refuse but Sirius pushed him away as another customer entered the store. Remus sighed as he took the cookies and waited at the side of the store for his order. In less than ten minutes, his name got called and he collected his order, sending a fleeting smile towards Sirius and then rushing out of the cafe.
Every day it was like this. Head over to the cafe, buy breakfast, maybe flirt a little with Sirius, run out to tend to his bookshop and be busy for the rest of the day. Only talking to Sirius once every day, and then going to sleep thinking about his smile.
It could be better, but Remus wasn’t going to start complaining.
He sighed as he bit into the muffin, deciding to save the cookies for later.
𓅰𓅰𓅰
Remus woke up late on a Friday, because he’d been up late arranging and sorting out the new delivery of books that he’d ordered. He only collapsed on his bed at two in the morning, not even bothering to change his clothes.
He woke in a panic at fifty minutes past seven and hurriedly got ready and went down his bookstore. His apartment was situated a level above the bookshop, so it was much more convenient instead of having to wake up much earlier and then having to walk. Which meant that even if he woke up late, he wouldn’t be too late.
He managed to run down the stairs, nearly twisting his foot and unlocking the doors only eight minutes late. Thankfully, there weren’t any customers yet. People usually came in in the late afternoons or just before dinner, which gave Remus plenty of time to sort out orders and deliveries for books.
But only after a half an hour, people started coming in, streaming through the doors and browsing the shelves. Remus was surprised; usually only a few people came in once a day. Why so many now, and in such a short amount of time?
“Hey!”
Remus jerked, head looking up and eyes widening.
“Sirius?”
Sirius grinned, now wearing a leather jacket instead of his usual white apron. “Hey, stranger. Noticed how you didn’t come into the cafe today. Here.” He placed Remus’ order of iced latte and chocolate muffin — plus an extra two cookies — and leaned against the wooden counter.
“Nice thing you’ve got going on here,” Sirius commented lightly, smiling at the books. “It feels like it would be calm. Well, calm if there weren’t a crowd of people here right now.”
Remus laughed. “Yeah, sorry, don’t know why either. Usually it’s really quiet until later. And I didn’t head to the cafe because I woke up late. Been up all night sorting everything out.”
Sirius pursed his lips. “I... may know the reason why you’ve gotten a bunch of customers all of a sudden.”
Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?”
“I may have... promoted your bookstore a bit? Yesterday?”
Remus blinked. “What?”
Sirius scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I, uh, went onto my cafe’s social media platforms and uh, promoted your bookshop.”
Remus whipped out his phone and went to Twitter, searching the cafe Sirius worked at, and sure enough, a picture of his bookshop, taken while Remus wasn’t in. The light from the sun illuminated the inside through the windows, making the entire shop nearly glow. The caption above stated:
Mr. Lupin’s bookshop is a must to visit once you’ve bought from us! Books and cafe delights are something to bring peace to heart and mind. Check out Mr. Lupin’s bookshop and you won’t be disappointed, with your favorite titles about romance, adventure or fantasy at your fingertips with a cup of coffee right beside.
Remus’ eyes widened and he looked up at Sirius, who smiled sheepishly. Before he could say anything, though, a few customers started to line up. Sirius had to move to the side so Remus could help them.
Once that was tended to, Remus faced Sirius, who had sidled up next to him behind the counter. “You— you really did that.”
Sirius grinned. “I did.”
Remus smiled softly, blushing just a tiny bit. “Thanks. This... really means a lot to me.”
Sirius’ grin turned softer, quieter, more of an adoring look than a smile at that point. “You’re welcome. I’m glad it made you happy.”
An elderly woman came up to the desk, holding a copy of Anne Frank. “Hello dears, how much is this?”
Remus helped her with her payment, and when she had the paper bag in her arms securely, she asked sweetly, “You boys look very sweet together. Reminds me if my own grandson and his husband.”
Remus blushed and became flustered, trying to explain how he and Sirius weren’t together, but he was silenced when Sirius replied, “Thank you, ma’am. I like to think we look good together too.”
She smiled serenely and walked out of the store, leaving behind a stuttering Remus.
“You...”
“Go out on a date with me, Remus Lupin?” Sirius asked quietly, fiddling with his fingers. “I know— we don’t talk a lot, but I’m really smitten with you and I’m hoping—"
Remus cut him off with a chaste kiss, only pressing in a couple of seconds before parting.
“Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you,” Remus breathed. He jumped when a wolf whistle sounded through the shop, and everyone started applauding. Remus blushed furiously and shrunk back, glaring at Sirius who grinned at him and bowed as if he was part of a show that dramatically changed everyone’s lives.
𓅰𓅰𓅰
“So we’re having a coffee date right?”
“Would be wrong not to, to be honest.”
#oml#this#this i just#oh dear#yes ik james and peter arent mentioned#and marlene mary and lily could be considered invisible#but i love this fic#remus john lupin#remus lupin#sirius black#sirius orion black#wolfstar#wolfstar fluff#lily evans#mary mcdonald#marlene mckinnon#wolfstar fanfic#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic
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Ok... so like, I took a break from being online for awhile cos this is my first job after graduating and adulting actually kinda sucks 😅... I'm so sorry for the late response, but I'm finally answering some asks I received 😅
But I feel like I need to address this:
After queuing my answers, I'm still left with 9 asks. All 9 are Harry Potter related (cos I used to reblog stuff), so I think maybe I should voice my feelings on the matter??
I grew up reading Harry Potter. It was my fav book. I loved the series so much that when Universal Studios first opened The Wizarding World, I immediately begged my mom to buy an airplane ticket
I bought the wand and Hogwarts uniform at Universal Studios. I used to be active on Pottermore with my classmates
I was so proud that I was sorted into Gryffindor cos I always felt I was never brave or strong enough. I literally had a Gryffindor pin that I pinned to my school bag. You know, cos no one believed I was Gryffindor material, so I needed the pin to prove it 😅
In a way it made me braver and more decisive cos I felt like I needed to live up to my House's reputation 😅
That's how much Harry Potter meant to me. HOWEVER
I don't really want to interact with the series now because the way the author is behaving is very disturbing to me
I am not part of the LGBTQ+ community, so my opinion isn't important, take what I say with a grain of salt
I do not agree with Rowling's political views, I find what she says to be very hurtful and disrespectful. I am not personally affected by anything she says, but I feel like I am unable to support someone who actively harms and disrespects other people like this
I agree that sometimes we have to separate the work from the author. However, I'm a little iffy on this cos she's still alive. Like, if she was already dead, I would feel less conflicted. But because she's alive and still actively profiting off her work, I feel that if I don't agree with her I shouldn't be engaging with her work
(I'm not trying to downplaying her literary prowess or disrespect her work or anything... but I just don't want to continue engage with the work of someone I disagree with)
I also want to make it clear that no one is pressuring me to disengage with Harry Potter. It's really my own personal choice. There is literally no "social pressure" for me to drop Harry Potter
I am Chinese, and I live in a fairly conservative Asian country. I'm not sure if it's my country that is conservative, or if it's because Asia is kinda conservative... but LGBTQ+ rights are practically non existent here
Same sex marriage isn't legal here, same sex couples are not allowed to adopt kids here, intimacy between gay men specifically (it's okay for lesbians apparently) is illegal here (like they can literally send you to jail for being gay)
And I'm pretty you can say something like "I think being transgender is wrong and a mental illness" loudly in public and no one will care, or you'll have some random person agreeing with you
^ I don't agree with any of this btw. Just giving examples of how little rights LGBTQ+ people have here. There are a lot of people here who agree with Rowling
It's very easy for me to go watch the movie/buy Harry Potter merch or games cos no one cares
As long as I confine my Harry Potter posts to my private personal blog/Instagram (only followed my people I know locally irl) or post only to the "local side" of Twitter or Instagram, literally no one will call me out
I know majority of my local friends here will continue to consume Harry Potter content. When Fantastic Beasts first came out, we all wore our House scarfs to the movie. They are going to keep up this tradition for the upcoming movie too. I just decided that I don't want to join them
My friends or people who support Harry Potter here aren't bad people, I think it's just cos the "mentality" here is very different. Rowling's views are just an opinion here, so like, everyone is okay with her
I'm actually considered kinda weird 😅. People tell me to chill out cos I'm silly for avoiding her work just cos her opinion is different from mine 😅
But that's my personal choice cos she makes me very uncomfortable. And I'm not backing down cos this is something I decided for myself
I still love Harry Potter... I won't be deleting anything Harry Potter related that I reblogged in the past. I'm just choosing to disengage now, like, ever since she started being disrespectful, I kinda just stopped interacting with Harry Potter content 😅
I actually feel lonely... my friends are going to watch the movie without me... I really want to watch it too... it's our tradition and I'm missing out... but I don't know... it just doesn't feel right to me
I've always been a push over, so I feel like if this is something I chose for myself, and if this is something I believe in, I gotta stand firm. No backing down just cos I feel left out or cos people think I'm silly 😅
Geez... no more interacting with Harry Potter anymore... but I still think I was sorted wrongly 😅. I'm not a Gryffindor, I'm literally sitting here like a sad puppy cos my friends are watching Fantastic Beasts without me 😅... A true Gryffindor wouldn't be sad 😅
No offence to Hufflepuff, but no one in school wanted to be sorted there, and I think I probably belong there because I'm not a Gryffindor 😅
Ahh... I feel frigging miserable 😔. I seriously want to dress up with them... I used to love it so much... But I can't back down
#I still love Harry Potter... And I really want to watch Fantastic Beasts ...#but I seriously can't accept Rowling's views
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Paint My Spirit Gold
Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow
Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.
AO3 Link: [here]
Word Count: 2187
Warnings: n/a
@dukeceitweek <3
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[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]
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A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.
“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.
“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”
Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.
“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”
Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.
The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.
“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”
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[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]
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“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”
The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick
“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”
Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.
“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”
And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.
“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”
Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.
He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.
'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.
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[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]
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Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.
He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.
“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”
He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”
Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?
“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”
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[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:
“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.
Starstruck96: who?
IneffableSnek: lmao
FeralBeauYasha: lol
VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.
FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?
IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf
FeralBeauYasha: ohh
VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.
StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch
IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean
IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s
FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too
VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]
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"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.
"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."
Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”
Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.
“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”
Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.
“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.
“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”
-
[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]
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DukeceitStan
first and only dukeceit shipper ig
DukeceitStan
wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!
DukeceitStan
i want this to be canon so bad omg
DukeceitStan
i mean just look
[image]
how
[image]
cute
[image]
[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.
The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.
The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.
The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]
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“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”
“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”
“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”
“You should try harder.”
“Come to bed and maybe I will.”
“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”
“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”
“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”
-
[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]
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idk if its bc of the calming, wise persona you present online (not that you are not those things irl, but i wouldnt be able to attest to that) but something makes me wanna tell you everything about my day and listen to everything abt yours as well
Thank you for this nice ask! My ideal microblogging platform now that I think about it would be one where people only make 1 post a day, in which they share one pleasant or interesting thing about their day. Like a nicer Twitter. Call it Chipper. The posts would be automatically queued so they would all appear around the same time, so you aren’t tempted to check the platform compulsively many times a day but know that at 8am or 8pm (up to you) your daily batch of little nice news from people you follow will be delivered like a paper on your doorstep. For me this week it would be:
Monday: I started reading a poetry collection by astronomer Rebecca Elson; lovely timing because a late June evening in the pasture was the ideal setting to read some of these
Tuesday: I wanted to write a little update about Pampe’s education but I didn’t have my phone with me to take a picture and she was so good this time I ended up not having anything very interesting to say. “I put the halter on her and she stood still and didn’t try to escape the pen.” Boring. Well-behaved llamas seldom make history.
Wednesday: I read in a book about a French 18th-century philosopher (Maupertuis, son of the pirate Maupertuis who was knighted by Louis XIV) that he once told Madame de la Ferté-Imbault “your gaiety will last forever, because it is based on nothing.” I like the idea of groundless gaiety being the most dependable form of happiness.
Thursday: I am currently sitting near a little lake and I wanted to wait a bit longer to see what it would look like when the sun sets, but it’s starting to rain. But it was already beautiful in the early evening light:
#ask#crawling along#this would be a terrible social media platform because it would have to be ruthlessly moderated to eliminate posts#that violate chipper's terms of service#accounts deleted for not being happy enough. people rioting for their right to be glum and arguing that being grumpy can make us happy#if Ira Levin's This Perfect Day had a social network#i just remembered this novel's protagonist was named Chip. uncanny
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