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storiesofsvu · 1 year

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5 Times Grace was in Denial and 1 Time she Embraced her Feelings

Grace Muncy x Tonie Churlish Req'd by @witches-unruly-heart Warnings: some language.

Grace knew the rumours were likely to start right away after her transfer to SVU. Benson had paired her with Joe right off the bat, they were spending their work hours together, they were around the same age and they got along spectacularly. There was the perfect amount of rebellion mixed with their ability to do their jobs and loyalty to the force. Grace expected it, two people who spent that much time together were sure to spur gossip, what she didn’t expect was for Velasco to be one of the people who believed it.

It must’ve started the day she asked him to go shopping with her, she was sure of it. He’d teased her, asking why she’d want someone like him around, especially when it came to clothes. She’d bantered back that her brother was busy and knew nothing about fashion. Velasco shot back that he didn’t exactly know women’s fashion either and she scoffed, saying how he’d been with the squad longer, that he’d know what Benson would like.

“Just pick the grey one and we can go.” He half grumbled, playful smile on his lips as he watched her flit between blazers.

“Which one’s the grey one?” Her nose scrunched, holding up two of them and Joe laughed, “I mean it… I asked you to come cause I’m colour blind.”

She was completely yanking his chain.

Of course she knew which one was the correct shade, she just wanted a friend to come along for this, take some time to really get to chat with him outside of work. And this way if Joe lied and told her the wrong one, she’d know to maybe keep him at arm’s length for a while. He did tell her the right one so she tucked that in her back pocket for later, that he was trustworthy, that if he would come along on some boring shopping trip with her this early, that he’d have her back when she needed it. They had dinner in the food court that evening, shooting the shit and laughing about silly stories with their colleagues before they finally said goodnight.

Elias Wilson was going to trial. And if you’d asked Grace, she would say she was completely fine, though that was a complete lie. She knew she’d been far out of line, that she had to control herself on the stand or risk everything fucking up. She wasn’t even sure that Joe was going to be there, but there he was, suited up and ready to support her. She was so nervous she missed the little grins and smirks from the rest of the team watching the two of them whisper in the halls of the courthouse.

“I’ll be okay, I’ve got my emotional support animal.” She joked, clapping him on the shoulder with a timid smile and he laughed, catching her gaze for a moment and his face softened in a look that nearly made her uncomfortable, thankful that she was able to disappear into the witness room.

“They’re givin’ each other heart eyes already.” Fin chuckled, nudging Carisi in the ribs, “even you and Rollins waited longer than that.”

“Yeah well, sometimes you’ve gotta make sure the timing’s right.” The taller man laughed, “you and Liv better make sure whatever they have going on doesn’t mess up any future cases.”

“There’s nothin’ going on.” Joe reluctantly replied with a shrug.

“Okay but everyone can see she’s got a crush on you.” Fin laughed and Joe couldn’t help but feel the heat surge into his cheeks.

“I didn’t want to read into it but if everyone sees it maybe I’m not crazy.”

“You definitely aren’t my man.”

“You two need to get a room already.” Terry murmured, a sly grin on his cheeks as he stirred his coffee, Joe vanishing out the breakroom door.

“Excuse me?” Grace glanced up, genuinely confused at first, the man had only been working with the squad a week.

“You and Velasco.” He shrugged, “you clearly have chemistry. Figure out what you want to do with it and have some fun.”

“Ohoho, absolutely not.” She laughed, surprised that someone would be so bold to say something to her face, “we’re friends. I do not have any sort of crush on him, scouts honour.”

“Keep telling yourself that kid.” He replied with a grin, raising his cup in her direction before leaving her to scoff in his general direction. Her gaze drifted through the bullpen, and her face dropped into a glare when she caught Jose smirking at her through the windows.

Officer Churlish. Grace was supposed to hate her. She just knew it. Someone coming from the Bronx, someone who hadn’t even made detective yet. Someone who was so strong willed and stubborn headed that they felt like they should be in charge of their unit already? She was supposed to hate her.

So you tell Grace why her stomach was constantly in knots when the other woman was around.

She thought it would pass. There had to be some kind of flaw that Tonie would present that she’d be able to toss her into the nope pile immediately.

It should have been when she ratted out Velasco. She legally shouldn’t have ever recorded him and now Grace was stuck in a very compromising position she never wanted to be in. Part of her felt there was no way Joe could have ever done that, but he had mentioned little snippets of his past and she was a little more unsure every day that went passed. She wanted to warn him, give him a heads up so he could at least get rid of the anxieties that came with confrontations like these but she obeyed Benson and stayed quiet. And watched while Tonie got her own desk the squad room. No doubt ready and willing to replace Velasco and earn her detective shield because of it.

“You’re just mad I called your boyfriend on his shit.” Churlish mumbled while the two girls were trapped on a stakeout.

“He is not my boyfriend.” Grace grumbled back.

“Yeah, right. You two are practically inseparable, and the flirting is non stop, you can’t tell me you don’t have a crush on him.”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth.” She gagged, “believe me or not, I do not have a crush on Velasco.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Toni chuckled, her gaze drifting back out the windshield.

The squad was out for drinks, and for once, it was actually all of them, tucked away in a corner of a pub. Everyone seemed to be a little bit more relaxed, casual, winding down from the heavy work week with bottomless beers (and mocktails for Tonie). Grace found herself sandwiched between Velasco and Churlish, thankful that over the past couple of weeks everyone had been getting along. Benson had placed her with Tonie the weeks Jose was away and while the two girls had been rather hesitant about it at the start, they ended up bonding better than anyone had expected. Now they trusted each other, they knew that the other had their back out in the field and it was warming up in the outside of work environment as well.

“Oh c’mon.” Grace whined, her eyes trained on the pool table across the bar, “they’ve played three games already, let someone else have a go.”

“It looks like they’re wrapping up.” Joe pointed out, nudging at her side, “what’d you say, loser buys the next round?”

“Oh please, I will absolutely school you Velasco, you suck at pool.”

“Hey!” He laughed, a warm grin on his cheeks as he took another sip of beer.

“You know if you two just wanted to get out of here already…” Terry chuckled with a smirk and Grace pulled a face.

“What? No, I just wanna play some pool.”

“Oh c’mon, we all know you’ve got a crush on Velasco, even he knows it.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t have a crush on him!?” She groaned, prodding at his side when he playfully attempted to put an arm around her.

“You’re telllin’ me you’re not remotely interested in him?” Fin asked, “look at him, he’s a little pretty boy.”

“Exactly. He’s a pretty boy.” Grace replied, huffing as she poked his cheek, “I’m not interested in him because I’m not interested in boys!” She rolled her eyes, too busy trying to ignore the stares from around the table that she missed the way Tonie suddenly tensed beside her as she shifted out of the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go kick pretty boy’s ass at pool.”

She did indeed kick his ass. And she decided to call it a night not much longer after that, not wanting to have to play twenty questions with the tipsy squad.

Tonie was happy enough with the fact that her and Grace were finally friends, picking up the other person coffee, maybe even a donut on their way into work. They started hanging out a little bit more after work, discovering their mutual love of terrible reality tv shows, making sure to watch together each week. They were bonding, even hanging out more than Grace hung out with Jose at this point and they both adored it.

Then a heavy case came in. Well, more than one, it spanned more than a few weeks, crossed jurisdictions, pulled in other units including Organized Crime. The precinct was buzzing with cops of varying rankings, people in and out more than anyone could believe. Grace managed to successfully link Elias to one of SVU’s current cases and this time there was no doubting that a jury would find him guilty. She wasn’t expecting the amount of praise and accomplishments that came along with it, but it did make her feel proud, that she’d done the right thing, that she was moving in the right direction with her career. And she certainly wasn’t expecting McGrath to hand her the offer he did.

Tonie came wandering back into the squad room after an exhausting day chasing down an endless stream of perps, she’d only returned to the precinct to make sure she grabbed the phone charger left at her desk. It was late, the room basically empty except for Grace, box on her desk as she piled personal items into it.

“Wait… you’re actually taking it?” Tonie asked without even really realizing the words were tumbling out of her mouth. Grace glanced up to her, a sheepish look on her face while she shrugged,

“Seems like a step in the right direction if you ask me.”

“You know they’re gonna want you wearing suits every day, right?” She asked with a sad grin, leaning against the other woman’s desk.

“Well then I guess I’ll have to drag you along on a shopping trip.”

“Thought Velasco was your buddy for that kinda thing.”

“Oh please,” She laughed, “the man thinks an undone button up is a blazer. If I’m gonna look good, I’ve gotta go with your instincts.” Grace smiled at the other woman, her gaze lingering on her longer than she intended, pink creeping up on her cheeks as she cleared her throat and quickly looked away. A semi awkward silence took over the pair as Grace continued to pile her things into the box until Tonie finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving…”

“I mean…I’ll still be in the city.” She briefly glanced at the other woman, hoping that the tears building in her eyes weren’t as visible as she thought they were.

“But what am I supposed to do without you?” The words slipped from her lips before she could even think, the tears in Grace’s eyes mirrored in her own when she dared to look up.

“I’m just a phone call away?” She offered with a shrug, ducking her gaze, “and you’ll have Velasco.”

“Yeah well, he probably hates me.” Tonie let out a watery laugh.

“He’s an idiot if he does.” Grace risked a look up, smile on her cheeks, “because the last thing I would ever do is hate you. I know we started out rough, but there’s no one I’d rather be around than you.”

Tonie looked up, her brow furrowing as her head titled while she took in the other woman for a moment, her heart nearly skipping a beat at the adoration pouring from Grace’s eyes. She thought back to that night in the bar and suddenly something finally clicked.

“Are… are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Well.. I don’t want things to be weird.” Grace shrugged, placing the lid onto the box on her desk, “cause I don’t even know if you swing that way, but—”

“Oh I very much do.” She could barely help herself, stepping toward the other woman, a hand finding home on her waist, “and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you like that for weeks, it’s been driving me crazy.” Grace’s lips twitched up into a small smirk, her hands looping around Tonie’s waist.

“Well I think there might be something that could help with that.”

“What?” She asked, genuinely curious, her eyes searching the blue ones gazing back at her and Muncy chuckled.

Her free hand came up to cup Tonie’s cheek, leaning forward until her lips met the other woman’s and both breathed out a sigh of relief into the kiss. Lips moved with grace against each others, taking advantage of the empty squad room to finally admit the feelings they’d been battling with for months now. Finally, in need of oxygen they pulled away, grins on their lips and laughter on their breath as they stole a few more kisses.

“I may be leaving SVU but I hate to say that you’re stuck with me.” Grace murmured, her lips brushing against Tonie’s a few more times.

“I’m perfectly okay with that.” She replied, a dopey smile on her face as she leant forward to kiss her again.

———————-

@thatesqcrush @witches-unruly-heart @daddy-heather-dunbar @baubeautyandthegeek @red1culous @bullet-prooflove @momlifebehard @alexxavicry @onmykneesformarvel @desperate-gay

#grace muncy #tonie churlish #law and order #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu #special victims unit #law and order svu fanfic #grace muncy x tonie churlish

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svuwritings · 2 years

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Thigh High

Sonny Carisi

“Sonny leans in, so close you can hear the soft sounds of his breath, so close he presses an all-tongue-and-lip kiss to that spot under your ear that drives you crazy.”

Requested by anonymous: Now that we know it's his kink, thigh riding/dry humping with Sonny?

(1.9K words)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: NSFW, vagina-owner reader, bdsm, power-play, “good girl” used for reader, dirty talk, swearing, praising, mention of spanking

His hand is on your thigh, long fingers spread across the material of your gown, fingerprints pressing so gently inward, pinkie reaching a little too high up.

Barba is talking. Barba is doing a lot of talking. And you smile and pretend to listen. You laugh when you’re supposed to. But his hand is on your thigh, and you’re feeling the fire in your belly.

You can feel Sonny’s eyes on you, but you don’t dare to look at him. You know the look he would sneak you, the impish grin of a man who knew just how much control he had over you.

He’s trying to break you, tease you, desperate to see you squirm. But you’re good; you’ve been good all night, schmoozing DAs, charming politicians. Tonight, you aren’t whispering dirty secrets in Sonny’s ear or letting your hand stray under the table. You didn’t even try to make Sonny jealous, even though you loved how he spanked you after. Tonight, you’re playing the long game, and Sonny knows.

Finally, his eyes break away from you, and you release a small sigh of relief.

Sonny clears his throat, and as he does, he begins to rub circles on your thigh, fingertips pressing more tightly into your center. As everyone turns their attention towards Sonny, you let out a small squeal of surprise, and you see Sonny smirk from the corner of your eye. Flushing, you grab your champagne, sipping it quickly as Sonny announces your departure.

That cheeky bastard.

You put down your glass and begin your goodbyes, both relieved and disappointed at the loss of Sonny’s hand on your thigh as you stood.

“Lovely evening, wasn’t it, doll?” He asks, holding out your elbow after you finished exchanging pleasantries.

You loop your arm in his as he begins to lead you to the coat room. “Lovely,” you smile, tight-lipped, not wanting to say something that might be overheard.

“Something wrong?” He asks, feigning obliviousness, smiling down at you knowingly.

You look at him in response, watching him intently as he hands over your coat check number. You stand in silence as you wait, and he stares into the closet the whole time, a satisfied little look on his face.

The attendant returns, and you both say your thanks as Sonny holds your coat out for you to shoulder on.

He waits until you slip in, your back so close to his chest, his lips so close to your ear that you can feel his breath on your skin. So close that you can feel the warmth of his body burning through you, igniting you. “You know, I can’t fix it until I know what it is.”

And just like that, he backs away, slipping his own coat on, switching back to professional as he reaches out his elbow again.

Your brain is swirling, too turned on to keep up, too turned on to be a tease, so you don’t. Sonny knows. He loves when you get like this, high from the endorphins before he even begins. He loves your slack jaw, the wide-eyed look you give him the rest of the subway ride home. He loves the way you inspect his face, desperate to see a hint of smugness or desire or hunger. He loves how you turn into putty as he guides you home, holding his hand silently on the subway, following his lead into the apartment.

But what he loves most is when he unlocks the door, when you step in first, and turn to stare at him as he locks it. As you watch his every move, placing down the keys, kicking off his shoes, turning around so achingly slowly--when you finally get to see him looking at you. He loves you like this. And he plans to keep you here a little longer, knowing that you’re desperate to hear him break the silence. Only this time you don’t wait.

“I’m yours, Sonny,” you plead, arms down at your side.

His face twists into something different, something warmer. Usually, when you disobey, when you speak before spoken to, it’s bratty; you are begging to be punished, and you both know that. But today, with your arms by your side, your beautiful gown, your doe-eyes looking at him, he softens. He still wants you--anyone with eyes can see how bad he wants you--but he wants you, wants to see you undone and blissful.

“Take off your dress,” he finally instructs, and you falter.

“What?”

“Take off your dress, doll.” He shoulders off his own coat, not waiting for you to follow orders.

You’re stuck, watching as he unbuttons his cuffs, rolling up the sleeves. He sees you watching, and the warm grin on his face makes you smile.

“C’mere,” he instructs once he finishes, a gentle nod.

Your body moves before your mind registers it, approaching the man you love. His hands cup your cheeks gently, tilting your head up so your eyes meet his. You stare intently, lost in the blueness and warmth of it all. His eyes linger, hands sliding down from your cheeks to your shoulders, fingers slipping underneath your coat. Slowly, gently, he pushes it off your shoulders, broad hands exploring your shoulders. A gentle shiver overcomes you as it falls, as Sonny’s skin burns into yours.

You let him turn you, your back facing him now. Sonny leans in, so close you can hear the soft sounds of his breath, so close he presses an all-tongue-and-lip kiss to that spot under your ear that drives you crazy. You sigh, buckling into him, eyes instinctively closing.

He pulls back slowly, fingers sweeping your hair off your back and neck, moving it to the side. He unzips you slowly, too slowly, letting the gown fall and pool at your feet.

Sonny moves quickly now, hands wrapping around you to grab your breasts, face inching back between your shoulder and face. His mouth makes contact with the skin of your neck again, and you’re letting out soft moans as he palms your breasts.

“I want you to come,” he says against your skin. Your brain is fogged, and you’re horny, but you definitely aren’t ready to come. But before you can say anything, he continues. “I want you to come a lot tonight. You were such a good girl tonight, doll. I want you to sit in my lap and ride my thigh until you’re shaking, okay? God I want to watch you come undone on top of me.”

You moan, loud now, and you seem to have broken out of your trance. Chasing your own pleasure, you place your hand on top of his, removing his right hand from your breast and leading it downward. You stop at the edge of your panties, and Sonny knows. His mouth is on your neck again, but big this time, all teeth and tongue as his left hand moves downward too. You’re a moaning mess as his fingers slip under the hemline of your panties, and he breaks contact to fully pull them off.

You step out and turn towards Sonny as he stands back up. You both pause, a beat, then you are all over one another, your hands in his hair, tongue prodding into his mouth. His hands roam your back, gripping your ass, feeling you buzzing underneath him.

His palms land below your ass and he lowers himself a little bit. You take the cue, hopping into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as he begins to carry you to the living room. Your bare clit is pressed against the button of his pants, and you almost scream into his mouth at the sensation.

He turns, sitting down on the couch, and you adjust so your knees are on either side of his lap.

“Are you gonna... You know... Get naked?” You whisper, and Sonny laughs at the rosiness on your cheeks.

“Not now, doll,” he grins, raising his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Right now is about you. I want you to ride my thigh until you come on my pants.”

God, his voice, the way he looks at you, the idea of coming on his $600 tux--all of it makes you squirm. It’s an accident, a reflexive buck of your hips, but it makes Sonny’s face darken with desire. His big palms come to grasp your hips, beginning to slowly rock them against him.

You place your hands on his chest, bracing yourself, moaning at the feeling of your wet pussy rubbing against Dominick’s hot thigh.

“That’s my girl,” he praises, winding you up even more. “Look at you, rubbing yourself on me. Gonna get off on my thigh because you need to that bad?”

You gasp, his teasing too hot to bare, and before you know it you’re moving against his pace now, grinding down into his thigh on your own.

He loves it, you uninhibited, chasing your release on his thigh. You look so hot straddling him, tits bouncing with every roll of your hips, sweet moans escaping your throat, that patch of wetness on his thigh, accidental brushes against his cock.

Your head lulls, resting against his shoulder as you start to move your hips more fervently.

You love it more. Love the roughness of the fabric, the pulsating need from your center, the tension building with each thrust. You love working for it, rubbing yourself against his thigh like a horny teenager, knowing he’s watching you. Being naked in front of him--on top of him.

He can tell you’re getting close, and he can’t help himself. “I want you to look at me, doll,” he instructs, and you lift your head, still putty in his hands, always putty in his hands. “Are you gonna be a good girl and look at me while you come?”

You moan, throwing your head back, bucking more erratically.

“Doll?”

It takes all your strength to lift your head, to look at him again.

“Doll, I need to hear you. Tell me that you’ll look at me when you come.”

“Y-Yes, sir,” you pant, so close to the edge. “I-I’m going to come.”

“Go ahead, baby.” His lips are upturned, eyes watching you, filled with lust. Your orgasm rips through you, and you keep Sonny’s gaze as you continue to thrust, moaning, gripping his button up tightly, swears slipping past your lips.

You slow your rocking as you come down from your high, finally collapsing into his chest when you finish. You feel his chest rumble with laughter, his large hand coming up to stroke your hair.

“How was that, doll? Did you enjoy? Hm?” He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, and you hum in response, thoroughly fucked.

He chuckles, rubbing your back. “It’s fine if you’re fine for tonight. I can finish myself in the shower. You seem too sensitive.”

He’s surprised when you pull back suddenly, facing him. “I am not too sensitive. Sonny Carisi, you don’t think you get to tease me all evening and get away with not fucking me, do you?”

He grins, happy to see you’re yourself again, before winking at you. He stands up suddenly, grabbing you with him, and you squeal to wrap your arms and legs around him. “Guess I’ll just have to take you to the bedroom and fuck you, then.”

#sonny carisi #smut #sonny carisi smut #svu smut #carisi smut #carisi #svu #law and order: svu #law and order svu

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plaidbooks · 3 years

Note

I get SO EXCITED when your fic requests open up!!!!! I would love to request some mutual pining/yearning between Dodds and one of his SVU detectives. Prompt "I'd do anything for you," maybe where his dad has noticed them eyeing each other secretly and gives Mike the old "WE've worked too hard to get you to this position." (Idk, maybe those should be 2 different requests? You can choose whichever you prefer!)

Every request i send in gets more and more long-winded 😅😳

Exchanging Glances

A/N: This was a fun prompt! I'm sorry it took me so long to write it, but I hope you enjoy it!

Tags: shootings, otherwise none

Words: 1918

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @qvid-pro-qvo @averyhotchner @imalostredheadinablondeworld

Mike being assigned to SVU was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because the squad was short staffed, and he more than pulled his weight. He was also a great detective, and a great leader. The curse was how goddamn attractive he was.

He was your superior; there was no chance of a relationship with him. But you couldn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach when he smiled at you or complimented your work. The worst was when you walked into the locker room one day and found him in his undershirt, his dress shirt hanging open. The soft, white shirt left nothing to the imagination as he stretched against his broad chest, and it was a struggle to not stare…or drool.

He hadn’t even seemed embarrassed about it, talking easily with you as he slowly buttoned his shirt, his long fingers moving deftly. You had quickly made an excuse and practically fled the room. But after that moment, you couldn’t help but picture those strong arms holding you against his broad chest.

You often caught yourself staring at him while at your desks, before you’d look back to your computer screen, hoping no one noticed. Though of course, both Rollins and Carisi saw, and they teased you relentlessly for it.

“Why not ask him out?” Carisi asked you one day during lunch.

You choked on your egg roll. “A—absolutely not! He’s our boss,Carisi!”

“For how much longer?” Rollins chimed in. “I heard daddy’s tryin’ to move him.”

That made you pause; if Mike left SVU, you wouldn’t see him anymore…but maybe you could ask him out then. “Well, I’d rather wait until he’s gone before asking,” you replied, picking at your food.

“Come on, he’s a good guy,” Carisi said. “I bet Mike would love—”

“Love what?” Mike asked, coming into the break room and snagging a takeout box.

You felt how hot your face got, and you ducked your head, pretending to eat. Thankfully, Liv came into the break room, saving you all.

“We have a hostage situation. Let’s go,” she ordered before leaving. You all glanced at each other, fun times fading, before you were up, scrambling for your things in your desks.

*********************

You were huddled outside the door to the kitchen, gun in hand. Mike was on the other side of the doorframe, eyes locked to yours, gun in his hand as well. You were both flanked by the squad and officers, waiting for the go ahead from Liv. You knew she wanted to be in there with you, but as Lieutenant, she had to be outside, calling the shots for everyone involved.

“Green light,” she said into your earpieces. Mike nodded at you, and you nodded back. Then he took a step back and kicked the door in. You cut in front of him as he caught his balance, heading into the kitchen, eyes scanning. You had your gun up, and once you found your perp, you swiveled to aim at him. But he was faster; he fired before you even had the chance.

You grunted as you took a bullet in the ribs, your vest absorbing most of the impact. You still stumbled, though, the wind knocked from you. You being off balance turned out to work perfectly, as Mike was able to get a shot off, clipping the guy in the shoulder.

Both Carisi and Rollins headed for the perp while Fin checked on the woman who was being held hostage; she was shaking in a corner, hands and mouth duct taped. Mike, however, went straight to you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, face full of concern. He helped guide you towards the door, hands on your hips to help you walk.

You nodded. “Fine, fine. Got the vest,” you grunted, hand on place you were shot.

Mike led you down and out of the house, out onto the street. Liv read the situation and quickly came over, but you waved off her questions. Both of them guided you to a waiting ambulance, and the paramedics helped you get the vest off. They gently lifted your shirt to inspect the spot, which was already deeply bruised, a small bit of dried blood there from where the bullet broke skin.

Your face heated as you caught Mike’s eyes glued to the injury. “I’m fine, really. Just a bruise,” you muttered, trying to pull your shirt back down.

“We should take you in, make sure you didn’t break anything, or have internal bleeding,” one of the medics said.

You sighed, knowing you couldn’t argue. They helped you in the back, and you sat on the gurney.

“I’m riding with her,” Mike said to Liv. He handed her his gun before he climbed in, sitting next to you. You ducked your head in embarrassment as the doors closed and the ambulance pulled away.

******************

You sat on the hospital bed, and Mike was outside the room while you were patched up—mostly because your shirt was off. Once considered decent, though, he came in, giving the nurse a smile and nod in thanks.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, that concern still in his eyes.

You smirked. “Like I was shot.”

Mike shook his head, grinning. “Glad to see you still have your sense of humor…. Thank you, though.”

“For what?”

“I was going to go in first, but you ran in front of me before I could stop you. In a sense, you took that bullet for me,” he explained.

You blinked at him, then blurted out, “I’d do anything for you.” Your face heated, and you dropped your eyes to the floor. “I mean, y—you’re my sergeant; of course, I’d take a bullet for you….”

“Well, I’d do anything for you, too, including taking a bullet, if it came to that,” he replied softly. At first, you thought he was just saying that. But the meaningful look he gave you made you pause. Was he saying what you thought he was?

Slowly, timidly, you reached out and took his hand in yours. He didn’t pull away; in fact, he stepped up close to you. His free hand came up to your face, and he cupped your cheek lovingly. You leaned into the touch, and his face got closer and closer—

“There you are, Mike! Benson said you were at the hospital with a detective,” a voice called from the door. Mike quickly moved away from you, dropping your hand, and you swallowed in fear as Deputy Chief Dodds stood in the doorway to your room.

He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and you wondered how much he had seen. Then he strolled into the room, fixing his gaze onto his son.

“Uh, yeah, sorry dad. She got shot during our raid today—”

“Oh no,” he lamented, though it almost sounded sarcastic. “Well, it at least looks like you’re fine. Listen, Mike—” his eyes went back to his son’s— “I need to talk to you about an opportunity. If you’ll excuse us,” he said to you, then turned and strolled from the room.

Mike gave you an apologetic look before following his dad, closing the door behind them and leaving you alone.

***

“What the hell were you thinking?” William asked as he headed out of the hospital. “Getting close with a detective.” He said the word like an insult, and Mike flinched.

Once on the street, Mike replied, “she’s a fantastic detective, and I like her a lot. Why does my romantic life involve you?”

“Because we’ve worked too hard to get you to this position," he responded, poking Mike in the chest.

He rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to ask “we?” Instead, he said, “If I follow your plan, then I’m leaving SVU anyways. Why can’t I date her?”

“You need someone on your level, someone who’s as eye-catching as you are,” William explained. But Mike knew the truth; his father wanted him with a trophy wife, one who knew how to keep her head down and attend to her husband’s wants and desires. In other words, someone Mike wanted nothing to do with.

“With how good she is, she could make sergeant in no time,” Mike countered. He wasn’t just saying that, either; he believed it. You were incredible. He almost wanted you to go to Joint Terrorism with him, be his number two. But then, you couldn’t have a relationship together.

“Who cares about sergeant—”

“I’m a sergeant, dad.”

William waved his hand dismissively. “That’s just a placeholder until you’re lieutenant. Come on, Mike; do you really want someone with the same profession as you? Where you work late nights, weekends, holidays?” Translation; do you want someone who won’t be home to cook your meals or run the household?

“We’d have the same life experiences, we’d understand each other on a deeper level because of it,” he shot back.

William rolled his eyes. “Deeper level—”

“And I’m not going to stand here and defend her or myself from you. I’m sorry dad, but I don’t really care what you think about her. We haven’t even started dating or anything. But I’m going to go back upstairs and ask her out. I hope you can find it in yourself to come to terms with that,” Mike said before turning on his heel and marching back inside. William was too stunned to say anything back.

***

You collected all your items and were just about to leave the room when there was a knock on the door.

“Uh, come in?” you called, wondering if the nurse had more info outside of “it’ll heal on its own, but it’ll be sore for a while.”

But your stomach dropped when it was Mike peeking his head in, giving you a sheepish smile. “Uh, hey, sorry about that.”

“O-oh! No, it’s, um, it’s fine. Hopefully that was nothing too important,” you replied, laughing nervously.

Mike rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a mumble of, “no, no, it’s nothing…” before trailing off. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at you intently. “Would you like to go get dinner with me? Tonight?”

You were stunned; true, you were both off after the raid—you to heal and pass a psych evaluation, and him while IAB investigated the shooting—but you never expected him to ask you out. “I—I would love that…but could we? Unless the Chief just transferred you, you’re still my boss.”

“He didn’t, but I don’t care. I’ll be leaving the squad soon enough as it is. Plus…I know you’re not seriously injured, but the thought of you being shot on the job…it worries me. I’d rather shoot my shot now, while we’re both still alive and well,” he finished.

You nodded slowly, your mind swirling. “Well…as long as neither of us will be fired over it…. I’d love to have dinner with you, Mike.”

You noticed how his eyes narrowed when you mentioned getting fired, and you wondered if the possibility never crossed his mind until you said it. He quickly masked his face with a smile, then held the door open for you.

“You won’t get fired; I’ll make sure of it,” he promised, and you wondered if it was a legit possibility. Either way, a date with Mike Dodds seemed like a good payoff. Plus, if you were fired, you could continue dating without the fear of 1PP.

#mike dodds x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfics #fanfic #my writing

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qvid-pro-qvo · 3 years

Text

headcanon: “when the svu boys propose to you”

created in conjunction with @hurricanejjareau. tw: food eating and mentions of food (especially mike and peter’s portions).

rafael barba -

rafael does everything he can to pamper you. so when he texts you halfway through your day with a time and place, it doesn’t even register past another sweet date with your man. what does is the gentle urging when you get home, the smile and light touch moving you to the fancier part of your closet.

“let’s really enjoy tonight, mi amor.”

the dinner is delicious. because of course it is. and rafael is grinning, because of course he is. each time you meet his gaze he’s winking, scanning you, teasing you. and he’s reaching for your hands.

each time he opens his mouth it’s another story, another moment that he remembers with fondness. you both reminisce about the first time you’d caught each other’s eye. and as the candle burns on the table, you see something in his gaze that makes you stop.

“what?” you have to ask. because you think the shine you see isn’t just the warmth in his eyes.

“nothing,” he murmurs. “i just love you.”

it’s a winter evening. your coats scratch against each other, as you walk arm-in-arm. your noses are numb, but the streetlights are bright. it’s a walk he insists on, and your feet step on fresh snow that’s starting to sprinkle on concrete sidewalks.

“i just love you.” he says it again. it’s reverent, as the flakes fall, and you turn to look at him as you walk home.

“hey.” you lean forward, meet his gaze, and then forward motion stops. “what’s going on, rafa? what’s got you looking like that?”

“nothing, nothing —“ he starts again, but you just level him with a look.

“don’t give me that. what’s going on with you?”

the snow keeps falling.

and he just looks. and that shine in his eyes is back, the streetlights bright. there’s no mistaking the way he swallows. the way his arm moves to his jacket pocket.

“i kept... waiting. for the right moment. that moment i could look at you and know exactly how to ask you to —“

he kinda laughs. at himself, you guess. no, you know. because he shakes his head, in that way he gets, the way that has your fingers lifting his chin.

“rafa.”

“i had a plan, mi amor. i promise. a romantic dinner date, at your favorite place. a whole speech, i wrote it down, but... this isn’t a closing on a case.”

he pulls his hand out of his pocket. the next snowflake you see that doesn’t get caught in rafa’s hair is on the red velvet box. it seems to glisten, snd you’re reaching for it before you can stop yourself. mesmerized.

“i’m never at a loss for words. you know that. but right now i look at you and i think there’s nothing i can say that fully gets it across. that could ever help anyone understand how much i love you.”

the box flicks open. your jaw drops.

“i love you. now. always. i promise that. nothing high or low, big or small. nothing... nothing will change that. will you marry me, mi amor? will you?”

the snow flurries down, but that’s not what makes it hard to see him. hard to reach out and manage to grasp both his cheeks in your palms, to pull him in for a kiss that rocks your worlds.

“yes, rafael,” you say. “i do, i will, yes to it all.” and when you kiss him again the cold of the night is but a distant sensation, the snow in your hair barely noticed as you kiss your future husband.

sonny carisi -

you wake up in the morning, a day off with sonny head of you. but instead of rolling over and finding a body to curl around, your fingers connect with a piece of paper.

you can’t help the way your brow furrows and your lips pout. you’d expected a breakfast maybe, but there’s no divine smell filtering through the apartment. all there is this note, and when you pull it to your eyes you squint to read his chicken scratch.

sorry, sweetheart. i know it’s early, but i planned something special for you. get dressed. and meet me at the place we first met.

even groggy, the sight of the note makes you smile. and you rub your eyes as you get up, reading over it over and over as you dress yourself.

you know where he’s talking about. a chance stumble in a coffee shop halfway across town. but when you get there he’s gone, and all that’s there is a note scribbled on a napkin the waitress gives you, her smile coy.

not quick enough. our first kiss, maybe?

you can’t help but roll your eyes. ever the tease. you can basically see his grin as he scribbled it out.

so you go. the courthouse. meeting him outside after a tough case, the way he lifted you. but his friend (and yours) rollins is there instead, leaning against a pillar with sunglasses and a wry quirk of her lips.

those notes take you all across the city. first date, second kiss, first anniversary. you’re thrown this way and that, notes from his team, his squad. you kinda feel the need the apologize, but they don’t even blink.

“it’s sonny,” they laugh. all of them, even barba. “we expect nothing less.”

and all of them seem clued in to something you’re still searching for. because by the time you get to the last clue, his sergeant, mike, seems positively giddy.

last one, i promise, he writes. now. i’ll see you at home. our home.

you can’t help your sigh. of course. and by the time you get there you’re feeling run ragged. it’s cute, the reminiscence, but finding yourself back where you start has your mouth open before you even open the door.

“sonny, while i love the trip down memory lane —“ you start. but any words left in your throat are stole, because before you, your living room is transformed.

it’s still recognizable. the couch you and sonny picked, the tv he begged you for. but in the center of the room is sonny looking taller and more sure than you’ve ever seen him, and flowers seem to cover every surface.

he’s grinning. he’s so - so proud of himself, and you can’t help the gasp as your nose picks up what’s simmering on the stove, as you realize what he’s holding in his hand.

and then he goes to one knee.

“hey,” he says. and that confident lift of his chin doesn’t hide the way his voice trembles. as you love with long strides to his side, to look down at him as he gazes lovingly up at you. “i’m real sorry, but. i had to get you out of the apartment.”

his eyes are teary. you can barely see him.

“it’s okay,” you say immediately. nodding. “it’s fine.”

“i know, but. still.” and he laughs, and you laugh, and when he pops the box open you’re nodding. immediately. “i - i’m here. in our home. and i think about things i wanna do. with my future. and each time i think about it i think about you. there’s no step i wanna take where you’re not there. and i have to ask you —“

you can’t let him finish. you’re already nodding. already laughing, already crying. “yes, yes, yes, yes, sonny, i’ll marry you,” you’re saying, and before you can think you’re on your knees, too, pulling him into a hug.

(the ring is forgotten until later. you’re both laughing and still a little teary when you see it on the coffee table. and it’s another round of “yes, sonny,” that gets it on your finger, finally. as it should be.)

nick amaro -

in another life nick amaro gets shot and comes out broken. in this life, he has you.

he’s here, instead. drying dishes, the laughter of his squad in the other room, and he gets the joy of watching you. gets to watch your little smile, the way you glance at him and shake your head.

“take a picture. it’ll last longer,” you say, and it’s a tease, and he gets to grin and ignore the pain in his knee because you’re here, too. there are aches and pains that are going to last forever, but so is this, and he knows it.

it’s a simple motion. he sets the dish he has to the side. leans from the counter to against you, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other into his pocket.

“you make my life better, y’know that?” his voice is low. you hum, lean back into him, mindful of the lone foot he’s balancing on.

“you say that like i’m not lucky, too,” you murmur, right back, wiping suds off onto your shirt before holding his hand.

he kisses your cheek, then your jaw, chin on your shoulder. and when he pulls out the little box he’s been carrying around for too long he can feel your breath falter.

“nick,” you mumble.

“i’m not - not a poet. i know that. but it’s not poetry to say that i love you. it’s just the truth. you love on my kids, you laugh with my squad, you... you show me what it’s like to see the world with... fresh eyes.”

it’s that simple. the middle of your kitchen, your family behind you, your dishes in front of you. he lifts the lid, and your hand drops to the one he has on your waist, squeezing it tightly, swallowing as you glance up at him with big eyes.

“marry me.”

he watches you. watches your eyes scan the ring, trace up his arm until you’re turning to face him. your hand drops the dish you have, and if he could hear anything but his own heart pounding, he’d know that the other room quiets in an instant.

“nick,” you say again.

“marry me,” he whispers back, “because each day is better with you in it. my life is better with you, and... i never want to let that go.”

that’s all he can say, if he wants his voice is stay steady. but you know the rest. you whisper your yes. over and over. pull him in for a kiss, and the two of you are clinging to the counter because right now he can’t hold you quite how he likes.

and when prying ears become prying eyes, and the box is seen in nick’s death grip, there’s cheers of yeses, too.

mike dodds -

it’s spring.

you both sit on a blanket with wildflowers around, looking at each other in the bright sunshine. there’s a chill in the air, but the sun cuts through it. makes mike’s hair look a little golden, makes your eyes shine.

a day off for the both of you. a rarity, but one you both cherished. usually days off mean nights in, but this day is different. mike has a plan, one he doesn’t share until you park and he has to grin.

“how about a picnic?”

it’s spring.

he looks at you as he leans back on the grass. watches your hand move as you tell him about your week, laugh about something you heard through the grapevine. he watches as you reach for a few berries, pop them in your mouth.

the sun is high in the sky. it’s burning his nose, his cheeks, he’s sure, but that’s not what matters. what matters is that he gets a little closer to you, sits up so he can smile gently, reach for your hand.

“hey, sweetheart. can we talk for a minute?”

you’ve finished your story, but the question still makes you pause. makes your brow furrow as you look at him, but his smile tells you all you need to know. it’s not something to worry about.

“sure, mike,” you say, squeezing his hand. “what about?”

it’s spring. and what is spring if not the buzz of bees, the flower buds, and new beginnings with the ones you love? with the one who makes your heart flutter in your chest, who makes butterflies in your stomach feel as real as the ones that land on windowsills?

“the fact that i love you.” his thumb runs over your skin, and his grin is vibrant.

“i love you, too,” you say back. it’s instinct. easy.

not as easy as this.

“and i’m lucky. because i met someone who saw me past all the pomp, and circumstance, and bad ties, and —“

“i love your ties,” you protest, and he has to lean forward to kiss you. kisses you over and over, until you’re both giggling, so he can slide past the basket and dig his hand in.

“and i love you.” his voice is a little breathless, as he looks at you. “i love the way you make me smile. i love them way you make me laugh. i love you, every inch of you, and the fact that you love every inch of me. you’re home, to me, sweetheart.”

your smile is gone. your face is open, vulnerable, and he has to lean forward and kiss you one more time. “mike,” you whisper, and when your voice cracks, he pulls his hand forward.

“will you marry me?” he asks. and he feels that familiar warmth, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, as his cheeks go a little red, and your eyes widen with delight as the sight of the ring he pulls out of the basket he packed.

you laugh again. bright and warm and a yes thrown in there for the certainty. and when he gets to kiss you again, your back hits the blanket.

peter stone -

“how the hell did we lose that game?” peter groans. it’s about the drama of it, the way he leans on you with an over-the-top amount of pain, because it makes you laugh like that.

“well, i think the long and short of it is that they scored more runs than us,” you tease. peter lifts up, stares agape, and you try and dart away before he pinches your side. you’re unsuccessful. cackle as he pulls you close to blow kisses into your neck. and your delight echoes down the street.

the sun is setting now. summer heat warms metal buildings and the back of your heads as you walk alongside a busy new york street. a walk you’ve made a million times, always ending up at the same spot to get some grub.

always the same spot.

that’s the thing that peter savors with you. the routine of it all. the fact that peter can wake up in the morning and see you, call you in the afternoon and hear you.

building a life with you. step by step. building a routine, step by step.

this walk is different. this walk has peter’s hand in his pocket, a three-fingered grip on the ring he spent ages searching for. you pull him towards the usual restaurant, make the turn, and he follows with ease. he’d follow you anywhere.

the host recognizes the both of you. your booth is open. peter has a flash of that first walk together, the way you grinned and pulled him down on the same side.

“let’s be cheesy, peter stone.”

he remembers that any time he slides in next to you. this time, included. it’s cheesy, to keep his hand tangled in yours, to blow kisses onto the side of your neck to make you laugh. it’s cheesy to pull you against his side and feed you a piece of something from the appetizer. it’s cheesy as hell to look at you and see everything he wants for the rest of his life.

but he loves it.

loves you.

he reaches into his pocket. holds the ring like a good fastball, tight grip, thumb running against smooth velvet. he feels his heart pound, blood roar in his ears, as the sun lowers behind the new york high-rises.

“hey,” he murmurs. you’re both tired from the time out in the sun, the feeling of hot plastic seats, three hours and eight innings. but his voice is low for another reason, as he leans close and sets the box gently in front of you.

your fingers holding his grip him. reach for his thigh, and hold that, too. “peter —”

“home is new york, and you, because you made it that way. hope is baseball games and late night dinners, and... this booth because of you. i’ve - i’ve lost so much, but gained so much more because of you. i love you. i’m in love with you. and i always will be.”

you’re leaning against him, now. your grip is no longer tight, but firm. he glances down and sees your little smile, the single tear that he swipes away.

“i want to marry you. will - will you let me?”

the lid pops open. but the ring isn’t the focus. the focus is your hands on his jaw, now, pulling him in for a kiss and murmures yeses against his lips.

tag list: @duchesschameleon // @writefasttalkevenfaster // @altsvu // @ssaic-jareau // @encounterthepast // @mijop // @bureaudart // @1234-angelika // @nuvoleincielo // @wanniiieeee // @averyhotchner // @barbasbodaciousbeard // @caracalwithchips // @xxlovingfandomsxx // @mad-girl-without-a-box // @alliekenner

#law and order: svu headcanons #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader #nick amaro x reader #mike dodds x reader #peter stone x reader #rafael barba #sonny carisi #nick amaro #mike dodds #peter stone #my fic #red :)#headcanons #gender neutral reader #tw food mention #tw food

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carisi-dreams · 3 years

Text

Fictober 2021

Prompt number: #11, “I swear, it’s not always like this.” Fandom (AU if applicable): Law & Order: SVU, Bonnie&Clyde!AU Pairing: Sonny Carisi x Reader Rating: T Warnings/Tags: Warnings: mention of fake blood; Tags: bonnie&clyde!AU (high school origins), Halloween

----

You shot Sonny’s mom a quick smile with a wave as she slid past you out of the front door with a harried expression on her face. She glanced at you and shot you the barest hint of a smile before directing her attention over your shoulder and into the small house.

“Bella, look after your sisters!” she called. Without waiting for a response, she continued to the car in a rush.

You turned to give Sonny a shy smile and he ducked his head sheepishly before jerking it towards the door.

“Want to come in for a second? I only need to get my jacket and then I’ll be ready.”

He held the screen door for you and you slipped just through the door. The house looked…chaotic. That was the kindest way to describe the tornado of clothes and dishes that littered the living room. The television was playing a movie and two of Sonny’s three sisters were sprawled on the couch watching it with rapt attention, seemingly not phased by their mother’s rushed exit.

“Should you—” you turned to finish your question and realized that Sonny was no longer standing next to you. “Introduce me,” you finished under your breath.

You shrugged and fidgeted, content with not drawing any attention to yourself. It was surprising that no one had even blinked at your costume. You had thought the blood looked pretty realistic and it took you awhile to get the make up on your face to look like dark circles.

“Gina, Theresa, I’m headed out. Listen to Bella and don’t stay up too late.” Sonny came sliding into the living room with his jacket draped over his arms. “And don’t make yourselves sick eating all of that candy!” he scolded.

“Yeah, yeah,” one of them muttered with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Sonny paused for a moment, then shook his head and muttered something under his breath that you didn’t quite hear before he ushered you out of the door and back onto the porch. You exhaled quietly, releasing a breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding.

“So…ready?” you asked when he didn’t say anything or make a move towards his car.

“I swear, it’s not always like this.” He was avoiding your eye, but you still kept your expression neutral.

“Like what?” you asked in what you hoped was a breezy tone.

“Chaotic? Messy? Embarrassing.” The words tripped on each other on the way out of his mouth, with the last one being muttered at the ground as he worried at a watermark near his right foot.

“I don’t care about how chaotic or messy your family is, Sonny,” you said gently.

That much was true. You didn’t care at all, but it did make you feel strange that Sonny lived amongst all of that. For one of the first times you finally understood a lot of what Sonny had alluded to on various dates when he talked about his family. It made you feel uncomfortable and also sad that it didn’t seem to be exaggerated.

Sonny scoffed in response and you took a step closer to him and let your hand rest on his forearm.

“I don’t,” you insisted firmly. “I just care that you’re okay. Do you still want to go to the dance? We can do something else instead.”

You weren’t sure what the “something else” would be considering the fact that you were dressed up as a dead prom queen for the Halloween dance that you were supposed to be heading to shortly. Maybe if you wiped off the make up…or because it was so close to Halloween you could probably leave it on and head to the diner either way.

“No, I want to go. Well, you want to go and I want to spend time with you, so I want to go,” Sonny corrected. “My two left feet means that my dancing is about as elegant as my house.” He snorted derisively again and you made a dissenting noise.

“Then, let’s go,” you said. “You can spike the punch and then no one will care about your two left feet.”

#fictober2021 #law and order: svu #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #bonnie&clyde!au #my writing #fill #halloween

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thatesqcrush · 3 years

Text

Retrouvaille

Rafael Barba x Reader. For @barbasimp - winner of Holiday Bingo. Prompt: Maybe a fic where Rafael and the reader were a thing before he left new york after the incident, but when he comes back he sees how close Carisi and the reader are and gets HELLA JEALOUS.

AN: This takes immediately during 22x04, “Sightless in a Savage Land.” Script found here. Coffee reference (above and in the fic - from 19x9, Gone Baby Gone.

AN2: Using “Sway” by The Kooks for VDay bingo. Lyrics denoted in bold.

AN3: Retrouvaille is a French word meaning rediscovery - the happiness of meeting or finding someone after a long separation.

Warnings: language & smut (p in v sex, implied cunnilingus). WC: 3.3K

****

To say you were anxious was an understatement; your leg bounced restlessly as you and your Captain sat in the diner. It had been unbearably cold and despite still wearing your parka and the hot cup of coffee in front of you, you could not warm up.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Olivia replied as she poured some milk into her coffee. She stirred the coffee with one hand and reached out to grab your hand from across with the other. “You don’t have to be here.”

“Nope, I am good.” You replied coolly, your lips emphasizing the ‘p’ sound. You looked out the window, watching the people mill about on the street. A blast of cold breezed through the diner. You looked past Olivia and you felt your stomach flop at the sight of the man approaching the booth. You stood and switched sides of your seat, choosing to sit next to Olivia.

The last time you saw Rafael Barba, he was worn and depressed, with tears lining his eyes as he stood in front of the courthouse. It was there he poured his love for you making your heart swell before he shattered it into a million pieces as he broke things off with you. You were a wreck after, to the point you needed to take time off to get your affairs back in order. The apartment you shared with him was no longer your safe space and no longer inhabitable. Rafael told you to keep the engagement ring. You took it off that night and left it in a lock box at your bank. Photos of you and him during happier times were taken down from your locker and tossed in the trash. Plans for the future - for a shared life together were gone, like a sandcastle being washed away by the sea.

Now Rafael appeared just as handsome as he did all those years ago. His hair was a more pronounced shade of salt and pepper and instead of being clean shaven, a beard graced his face. The infamous camel pea coat was swapped out for a grey one. Instead of a three piece bespoke suit under it, he wore dark jeans and a blue and pink checkered shirt. He turned to the counter and requested a coffee before he sat down in front of you.

“Barba.” You greeted, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Olivia!” Rafael replied brightly. He shrugged his coat off and looked at you. “Y/N, it’s good to see you again.”

You didn’t reply, instead choosing to sip your coffee once more. Rafael shifted in his seat and looked at Olivia. “So--”

“Liv’s said you’ve been busy.” You spoke, cutting him off. “What have you been up to?”

You knew Rafael had kept in touch with Olivia. She had mentioned Rafael here and there in conversation with you and the squad.

You knew Mickey Davis deserved a good defense. You were, however, caught off guard when Olivia suggested that perhaps Rafael could help secure a deal. You didn’t even know he was back in New York.

“Consulting with the Innocence Project, defending voting rights on the ground. I've barely slept since the election ended.”

“Liv said once everything cleared up, you might consider doing defense work.” You continued.

“Her case or Fin’s?” Barba asked.

“The city settled one of Fin’s. Liv's still waiting on her day in the barrel, but that's not why we're here.

“It should be -- sorry.” Rafael shrugged, looking at Olivia.

Olivia gave Rafael a small smile. “Hypothetically, if we... arrested a defendant who was not innocent…”

“Decorated vet. Six tours in Afghanistan. Comes home to find his daughter raped by her foster father--” You interjected.

“And he shoots the guy point-blank range three times?” Rafael questioned. Both you and Olivia give him a pointed look. “Hypothetically.”

“So you're all caught up.” Olivia replied, now picking up her own cup.

“All right, hold on.” Rafael shook his head. “Did Carisi ask you to intervene on Davis' behalf?”

“Well, actually, Carisi doesn't know that we're here.” You murmured.

Rafael laughed. “Of course not. Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“We wanted to see if you would feel him out. And see if he would cut Mickey a deal.” Olivia continued.

“With Carisi's stomach? He won't have the stomach to take this to trial.” Rafael rolled his eyes. “This case is a dog.”

“Really? Some mentor you are. Not even believing in your protege.” You sneered.

Rafael cocked a brow at you while Liv put a hand on your shoulder, in an attempt to comfort you. You jerked your shoulder away from her, and stood. You tossed some bills onto the table.

“Sorry, Liv. I thought I could handle this. But I can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You heard Liv call out your name as you stormed out of the diner, but not once did you look back.

Rafael looked at Liv, a frown on his face. “Honestly, I am surprised she didn’t leave sooner.”

***

You and Phoebe were watching through the double-mirror in the squadroom as Kat and Rollins interrogated a suspect. Phoebe watched as Carisi approached you and she tapped your shoulder, nodding towards him.

You looked over at Carisi and smiled. “How did voire dire go?”

Carisi sighed, crossing his arms. “It was the Rafael Barba show, charming and cherry-picking jurors for twelve straight hours.”

“He was always a dog with a bone.” You replied. “Walk with me to my desk. I am gonna order some Chinese.”

“I gotta know, Y/N. I saw Barba’s witness list, and he tracked down Ajay's other foster kids, ACS employees, VA shrinks. How big of a staff does he have?”

“I can’t say but know that I am not helping him out.” You hissed in a whisper.

Carisi huffed. “It's fine. Barba was here before me. He was your--”

You held up a hand. “No! That doesn't mean I'm more loyal to him than I am to you. You forget - he broke up with me. He wanted nothing to do with me. Why should I help him?”

Carisi’s ears turned pink and when saw the broken look on your face, he felt shitty. “Y/N, I am so sorry.”

You shook your head. “Dinners on you Mr. ADA and all will be forgiven.”

***

When Rafael entered the squadroom, it was late - he did not expect to see you. But there you were, Carisi perched on the corner of your desk, laughing. Seeing you and Carisi together like that - his jealousy flared and he wondered if there was something more than friendship going on. You plucked food out of the takeout container and offered Carisi a bite. You grabbed a napkin and reached up to Carisi’s face and you were about to say something when you spotted Rafael. Your laughter subsided and you smacked Carisi on the knee and pointed to Rafael. As he made way to your desk, you murmured something to Carisi and made a beeline to the locker room, dropping your food on your desk, causing it to spill a bit. The chopsticks fell to the ground with a clatter.

Rafael paused mid-stride and turned to follow, when Carisi approached him and blocked his path. “Barba, I don’t know why you’re here, but leave Y/N alone.”

“Is there a problem Carisi?”

Carisi jutted his jaw, clearly displeased. “Just leave Y/N alone - you hurt her. I know you never meant to. Don’t make it worse.”

“I came here to talk to her. That’s all.” Rafael huffed, before pushing past the young attorney to follow you, much to Carisi’s protests.

You sat on the bench in front of your locker, crying. You dropped your head in your hands, your body shaking. You heard the sound of footsteps and you stood up, wiping your eyes.

“Y/N.” Rafael’s voice was dark and deep, and hearing your name escape his lips sent shivers down your spine.

“Rafael! What are you doing here? Y’know you’re really not supposed to be back here!” You hissed, dabbing your eyes once more with your sleeves.

“I wanted to check in with you.”

“Why? You’re not my boyfriend anymore.” You replied, as you grabbed your belongings. You slammed your locker shut, the metal clanging sound echoed.

There was another sound of footsteps. Now it was Carisi who arrived. “Y/N, you okay?”

You looked at Carisi. ‘I’m fine. I’ll be out in just a bit.” Carisi nodded and made his way back out.

You adjusted the strap of your bag. “Move.”

“No, I’m not your boyfriend anymore.” Rafael agreed, but not moving. You stepped to the side and Rafael followed your movement, blocking your way.

“Move.” You commanded. “Now.”

When he did not budge, you let out an exasperated sigh. “Say whatever you have to say. Get it out.”

“I just wanted to say I am sorry for everything. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Rafael replied.

“Suddenly you care? Please, I have plenty of people in my life who have taken an active role in that. I have gotten by just fine since you left.”

“Who? Carisi? Trading in one lawyer for another? You got a kink or something?" Rafael replied haughtily.

You snorted in derision. “You know what, you can go fuck right off.” You pushed past him and Rafael grabbed your wrist and pulled you flush to him. Rafael met your eyes, they were puffy and red from you crying.

“What are you--” You began, but Rafael crushed his lips against yours. You were initially stiff, but you relaxed into his embrace, allowing for the kiss to happen. You let out a soft moan and Rafael used the opportunity to deepen the kiss, by sliding his tongue into yours. Rafael wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, dropping your purse to the ground.

“I love ya.” Rafael rumbled into your ear before dipping his head to your neckline, sucking a mark that you knew you would not be able to hide.

At his words, you pushed Rafael away. “What the fuck? You can’t just barge back into New York, into my life, say that you still love me and expect me to forgive you on the spot!” You were angry, there was a fire in your eyes that Rafael had been at the end of before, and he dropped his head, shamed. He took a seat on the bench and you followed suit, sitting next to him. “Me, the squad… that was always your M.O. - take whatever you want to take - to hurt the ones you love. You never thought about the consequences of your actions on others - nevermind baby Drew.”

“I know. I am an asshole. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell you. I love you. And I regret the way I left things with you. And if you tell me you don’t love me - that you still don’t feel the same way - I’ll leave. After the case - you’ll never hear from me or see me again.”

Deep down you knew you still loved Rafael. You had always loved him. You didn’t initially understand why he did what he did with baby Drew or why he left, but with therapy, time, and deep talks with Liv, you understood. It didn’t mean you weren’t angry - you were - but you could see why Rafael felt he had no choice but to leave.

“I need your heart. I need your soul. And getting over you was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do.” You replied, not answering his question. Your breath was still uneven from the tears you shed. You were worn and all you wanted to do was go home. You stood and slung your purse over your shoulder. “I am going home. Figure your shit out but don’t expect me to wait around.”

Carisi watched as you stormed away, with Rafael trailing behind you. He was going to say something but he noticed how Rafael allowed for the space between you and him to grow.

***

The following morning you were getting ready for the day as usual. Coffee was brewing, music was blasting, you were digging around for some clean clothes. There was a staccato knock on the door. You ignored it and found a shirt from the pile of clothes and sniffed it.

There was a second knock, this time louder than first. “I am coming!” You shouted as you tugged your shirt on. You huffed as you marched to the door before tripping over a stack of books that you were planning on donating to your neighborhood library.

You swore loudly and hobbled over to the door. Swinging it open, you all but shouted, “What do you wa--”

On the other side was Rafael. Holding a tray of coffee and a paper bag, that you presumed were some kind of sweets. “I know I am the last person you want to see. I don’t know what to do. Um… do you want some coffee?”

You wrinkled your nose, but you took a step forward and plucked the pastry bag from his grasp. You opened it and inhaled the fresh pastries; your stomach rumbled in response. You reached in and grabbed a honeybun.

“Come in.” You waved him in before taking a bite of the sticky pastry. Sorry it’s not more neat.”

Rafael made his way in. You entered your apartment, turning the lights on as you made your way in.

“It’s fine.” Rafael replied as he took in your new-to-him space. There were elements that reminded him of your time together, but it was more uniquely you than anything else.

“You said something yesterday that has stayed in my mind all night long.” Rafael sat down on your couch.

“Yeah? And what’s that?” You asked, taking a seat across from him. You reached over and plucked the two coffees from

“I need your heart. I need your soul. All this time away from you has made me realize that. I am sorry for hurting you - for even breaking things off the way I did.” He confessed. “But then I realized, I couldn’t do it. All this time… I still love you.”

You didn’t respond and Rafael felt his heart sink. His stomach knotted and he thought he would throw up.

You were quiet when you finally did speak. “I still love you too.”

Rafael looked at you, a huge grin on his face. He was overjoyed to hear your proclamation. “So now what?”

You furrowed your brows and an idea came to you, your face brightening. “I suppose we’re due for some makeup sex.”

Rafael blinked. “What?”

You stood up and tugged off your top. “Look, I don’t know about you - but it’s been awhile and I have needs. Are you complaining?”

Rafael stood, shrugging off his coat and also making quick removal of his clothes. “No, not at all. Just not what I expected to happen.”

You were down to your panties. “Just gotta make one call.” Rafael nodded, continuing to undress. You grabbed your phone and called Liv. “Hey, Liv - personal emergency, I won’t be able to make it - no everything will be fine - no you don’t need to come by. I’ll make it up. Thanks.”

You tossed your phone onto the couch and stretched out your hand. “Come on.”

Rafael groaned as he pounded into you with punctuated thrusts. You grabbed the sheets desperately as pleasure coursed your body. Being reunited with Rafael was almost too much - no one ever fucked you as well as he did - and no one ever made you feel complete as he did. Rafael pushed your knee higher, changing the angle. His cock hit you at a new angle and you cried out.

“Oh fuck, fuck, yes, just like that!” Your back arched slightly. He dropped his mouth to yours, swallowing your moans as he slid his tongue into yours. Rafael quickened his pace and you snaked your hand between your bodies to rub your clit.

“Gonna… fuck… gonna come…” Rafael groaned.

“Come for me, give it to me.” You panted. “Need it. Need you.”

Rafael stiffened, groaning your name as he came, filling the condom you insisted he wear for the time being. You continued to rub with one hand as your orgasm approached, you used your other hand to grip his arm tightly. You threw your head back as you cried out Rafael’s name as your orgasm peaked and washed over you.

Rafael pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead as your body grew slack. He removed himself and rolled his body off yours. He removed the condom, tying it in a knot before disposing it into the trash bin at the foot of your bed. Rafael rejoined you in the bed and you curled into his embrace.

You stroked his chest softly, running the tips of your fingers through his chest hair. “We have a lot to work on.”

Rafael grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “I know, hermosa.”

You looked up at him. “For us to work - it’s going to take time. We have a lot to work on - a lot to unpack.”

“As long as it takes. I don’t want to lose you again.”

You propped yourself up and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Well, since we have so much time ahead of us now… why don’t we make up for lost time?”

Rafael arched his brow and you squealed as he pulled you up on top of him.He kissed you deeply and rolled you onto your back once more. He began to press kisses along your body, shimmying down.

He got to the apex of your thighs and spread your legs. You met his eyes and he winked before dropping his mouth to you again.

FIN.

***

Tags: @mgarner1227 @madpanda75 @tropes-and-tales @dreamlover31 @beardedmccoy @youreverycolor @neely1177 @witches-unruly-heart @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @annabelleb49 @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoolike @thefanficfaerie @theenchantedgalleryofstories @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @ktiz90 @evee87 @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @rampantmuses @jazzyjoi @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes @rachelxwayne @prurientpuddlejumper @lv7867 @permanentlydizzy @bisexual-dreamer02 @madamsnape921 @averyhotchner @teamsladsandgents @qvid-pro-qvo @alwaysachorusgirl @amelia-song-pond @wanniiieeee @tintinxtintin @law-nerd105

#rafael barba smut #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #thatesqcrushvdaybingo

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 13*

Did I inadvertently make Sonny a supervillain? Maybe.

Chapter 12

Chapter 14

HAHAHA SOOOOO funny story....if you saw the "preview" post, turns out I didn't even get that far written down. My bad!

I really did want to, and I was almost there, but it's gotta go to fifteen and too much story in chapters won't leave enough to stretch! I'm sorry!!!

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

-----

Meanwhile

At the hospital Sonny walked into your room where you were talking with the doctor. The doctor acknowledged Sonny when he came in.

“As I was telling Miss Y/L/N, she unfortunately is going to need a liver transplant,” He looked at both of you grimly. “And unfortunately because of her years of alcohol abuse and history with addiction, she won't be that high on the transplant list. I'm uncertain if she'll even get one,”

“Oh god…” Sonny whispered, looking at you. You had tears in your eyes, still in shock over what the doctor was actually saying. Your brain couldn't really process it; and even if it could, you weren't really sure that you cared if you lived or died at this point seeing as you lost the one good thing in your life.

“Is there any way that I could donate part of my liver?” Sonny asked.

“Well that's what I was going to talk to you about Mr. Carisi,” the doctor said. “If you have any friends or family members that you think would be a good match and would like to get tested to donate their liver; I would suggest doing so as soon as possible. Usually immediate family members are the best match,”

“Yeah of course,” Sonny nodded. But in his mind he was thinking he didn't know if he could convince any of his and your family members to donate part of their liver. Changing their lives completely for a girl that had been nothing but trouble since she came to live with them. He could at least get tested though.

He walked over to you as the doctor walked out and held your hand. “How are you doing sunshine?” He asked.

“I.. I think I need a minute to process all of this, Sonny. Can you please...leave me alone?” you said softly, trying not to cry.

“Yeah sure, whatever you want,” He nodded softly and walked out of the room.

He instantly felt the guilt in remembering what he had told Rafael yesterday. He did promise him that if something went wrong with you he would call him but he also didn't want him to get any closer. But his guilt overruled his worry, so he texted him:

“Y/N is going to need a liver transplant, if you want to get tested,”.

------------

Rafael immediately showed up at the hospital where Sonny met him in the waiting room.

“Where is she?” Rafael was practically huffing and puffing, he ran so fast when he got Sonny’s text.

“Hey, slow your roll there counselor,” Sonny put a hand up. “I just asked you to come down here and get tested to see if you wanted to donate to her,”

“For what? To prove how much I care about her to you? Is that some kind of test?” Rafael clenched his fists.

“Maybe.. I don't know... I was just desperate Rafael, okay? And I promised you I would,” Sonny yelled.

“Okay well I want to see her first," Rafael demanded.

“No way,” Sonny protested. “First you get tested. And then if you’re a match, I'll let you see her,”

“What?” Rafael blinked. “You’re insane--”

“So you're just gonna refuse to potentially save my cousin’s life, just because I won't let her see you. Is that really loving her at all?” Sonny pointed out

“...All right, show me where to go,” he sighed, defeated. Rafael hated that he was right, but he was. After a few minutes Rafael was done getting his blood work and he returned to the waiting room where Sonny was.

“Have you gotten tested yet?” Rafael asked.

“Obviously, I was the first one to do it, Barba.” Sonny replied in an obvious tone.

“And…?”

“...And I'm not a match,'' he sighed.

“And the rest of your family?” Rafael asked.

“....Most of them haven't gotten back to me yet,” Sonny admitted in a small voice.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Rafael asked, astonished.

“Well I mean...I told you my family's history with Y/N,” Sonny rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“But she's dying!” Rafael practically screamed. “You're telling me not one person in your family has a fucking heart to at least try and help their niece/cousin out when they're dying?!”

“Look you have no room to judge my family, okay Barba?!” Sonny argued back. “You don’t know what we’ve all been through--”

“What YOU’VE been through?!” Rafael was now full out screaming, he was livid. “God the whole Carisi clan is a bunch of martyrs, aren’t they? Everything happens to them, they never do anything wrong,”

“Hey FUCK OFF, Barba,” Sonny shoved Rafael, getting heated himself. If there was one thing you didn’t do, it was to insult his family.

“Whatever,” Rafael calmed himself, looking around at the shocked spectators. “How long does it take to find out if you're a match or not?

“Actually just like a few minutes they run it through a computer and see if your blood type matches up with hers.” Sonny answered softly, hoping the onlookers would go back to their business. As if on cue the doctor returns to the waiting room with a piece of paper.

“Well Mr. Barba, it looks like you're a perfect match to Y/N’s blood type,” He smiled as he handed Rafael the piece of paper.

“As if there was any doubt,” Rafael smiled as he read the results. He knew you were a perfect match from the moment you met, now he had physical proof of it.

“Great…” Sonny muttered.

“Alright, so here’s your proof,” Rafael presented the paper to Sonny. “We are perfectly matched. Now let me see her,”

“...Nah I still think you need to actually do it, Barba,” Sonny denied him again.

“Excuse me?” Rafael was absolutely floored. He couldn’t believe Sonny was making him jump through this many hoops just to see you. He knew he was against you being together, but this was above and beyond.

“Look Barba, we don’t know if Y/N’s body is gonna take to your liver. And she could die on the table. There are so many more moving parts and I don’t want you to start getting your hopes up or getting closer to her and then she dies on you. And-- And I don’t want her to get closer to you if she’s dying because then she’ll just be angry at God.”

“You’re fucking delusional you know that Carisi?” Rafael spat. “This isn’t about sparing my feelings, or even Y/N’s. It’s about you, and what you want to do. And you want to keep us apart-- and I’ll bet money it’s not for all the ‘noble’ reasons you proclaim either,”

“Oh for Christ’s sake Barba,” Sonny laughed. “You cannot possibly think this is just because of some crush I have on you--”

“Oh I absolutely do, Carisi,” He stepped towards him. Sonny was substantially taller than Rafael, but he intimidated Sonny nonetheless with his aggressive stance and personality.

“Well it’s not,” Sonny stepped forward as well, towering over Rafael this time. “And regardless of the reason, you’re still getting anywhere near her until I say so,” He had never stood up to Rafael like this, and Rafael didn’t like it.

“...I’m only doing this for her, know that,” Rafael growled as he went to set up an operation time.

-------------

Meanwhile, Sonny went to tell you the good news. He practically sprinted down the hall and swung your door open with a huge happy smile.

“What in God’s name did they give you, and where can I get one?” You teased him.

“Guess what Sunshine,” He beamed at you. [pun intended]

“What’s that?”

“Turns out I’m a match for you!” He threw his arms around you. “Thank God, I was so scared I was gonna lose you,”

“Oh, really?” You gave him a small smile. “That’s great,”

“Y’know you don’t sound as excited as a person who just found out they’re NOT dying, Sunshine!”

“Oh no,” You nodded while trying to smile wider. “I’m ecstatic,”

“Well good, because I kinda like you and want to keep you around a little longer,” He put you in a soft headlock and noogie’d your hair.

“Ha ha,” You rolled your eyes with a smile. “So, are you gonna go set this whole thing up or what?”

“Oh yeah,” Sonny remembered Rafael was still in the vicinity. “Yeah of course Sunshine, I’ll go tell the doctor now, yeah?” He started to get up off your bed.

“Sonny,” You put a hand on him before he stood up.

“Yeah, Sunshine?”

“Have you..” You picked nervously at your blanket. “Um, have you...talked to Rafael?”

“Ah,” Sonny felt a pang of guilt, knowing at that very moment Rafael was signing his liver away to save your life, and you thought he didn’t think twice about you.

“Actually, no,” He lied. “He’s been wrapped up in this huge court case, he’s basically been out of touch to anyone,”

“Oh,” You answered softly. “Well, maybe when I--”

“Oh did I tell you?” Sonny interjected. “I found this great place up state for after you’re healed a bit more. You’re gonna love it. It’s lush, and the scenery is--”

“I-I’m sorry, what?” You blinked. “After I’m healed?”

“Well, yeah,” Sonny replied. “Y’know, I know what I said before but I think we both know you need to--”

“Go away,” You finished his sentence in a monotone.

“...Yeah,” He nodded.

“But--” You looked up at him. “Y-You want to send me to Upstate New York?”

“Well, Sunshine it’s this very nice--”

“I thought you’d maybe send me to Village Care, or Mountainside, some little 30 day treatment center Sonny,” You began to get upset the more you thought about being sent away so far. “Not fucking upstate New York!!!”

“Hey, it’s one of the best in the country, Y/N,” Sonny became serious. “You’re damn lucky I got you in, and so quickly too!”

“Oh gee, thanks so much Sonny,” You crossed your arms. “Thanks so much for jumping at the chance to get me as far away from you as possible,”

“It’s not away from me, it’s away from--!” Sonny caught himself, but you had already heard it.

“...Away from who?” Your eyes narrowed.

“Away from-- all of this, Sunshine,” He tried to change the subject.

“You’re a fucking liar,” you scowled.

“HEY,” Sonny bellowed. “Don’t use that language with me, young lady,”

“Oh good God,” You rolled your eyes. “It’s Rafael, isn’t it?” You didn’t let up.

Sonny tried to think of anyone else, but he couldn’t. Luckily, he thought of something better.

“Yeah, Sunshine,” He lowered his voice. “You need to get away from him so that you can get over this little-- thing you have for him,”

“Why?” Your eyes narrowed.

“Because he doesn’t love you!” He cried. “Because you freaked him out with your little stunt!”

“I don’t believe you,” Your voice filled with dread.

“You don’t believe me?” Sonny laughed. “Y/N did you know his dad died from drinking? In front of him?” He really wasn’t sure about that, but he’d say what he needed to sell this.

“...He didn’t say that he died,” You said softly.

“Well, he did. And you basically died in his arms, that brought all of it back up. And it fucking traumatized him,”

“No…” You shook your head. That couldn't be true. You could not have caused him that much pain-- god what was wrong with you?!

“You wanna know why he’s been so out of touch?” Sonny continued. “Because he’s been so upset he had to drown himself in work to cope with what you did to him!”

“...I…” Tears welled up in your eyes as the guilt began to eat you alive.

“Look, Sunshine,” He lowered his voice and sat back down on the bed.

“I don’t mean to throw so much tough love at ya, but-- he’s still my good friend, and you hurt him. I know you didn’t mean to, and I know you got hurt too. So, I just think that it’s better for all of us if you just--”

“Get as far away from here as possible,”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say it like that,” Sonny tried to be positive. “Just, you need to go to the best place that will help you heal-- your body and your heart,”

“....Yeah, I guess you’re right,” You nodded, wiping tears from your face.

“Good,” He kissed your forehead and stood up, heading to the door. “Now get some rest, I’ll see if we can get this over and done with by tomorrow, I don’t want you staying in this place more than you have to,”

“Thanks Sonny,” You gave him a genuine smile. “You’re a good cousin,”

"I try," He smiled and blew you a kiss before walking out the door.

------------------

Sonny raced down the hall to the surgeon’s office where Rafael was finishing filling out paperwork.

“So, did you tell her?” Rafael asked.

“Tell her what?”

“Did you tell her I’m saving her life and I’ll see her in a few days?”

“Oh,” Sonny felt sweat on his forehead. “Yeah, totally. She’s excited,”

“So why hasn’t she texted me?”

“Oh her phone died,” Sonny lied. “I actually have to run and get her a charger, you can come with me,”

“Of course I can…” Rafael rolled his eyes sarcastically. “The surgery’s early tomorrow morning, I put off my court dates until the end of next week, that should give us both enough time to heal,”

“Sounds good,” Sonny shot him a thumbs up.

“And you are gonna let me see her after all of these fucking hoops, right Carisi?”

“Yeah, of course Barba,” He laughed nervously. “I’m not a monster,”

“Good boy,” Rafael patted him on the head like his puppy.

Sonny wanted to rip that smug little smile off Rafael’s face, but knowing he was going to have the rug pulled out from under him was enough for him.

--------------

The next morning

The surgery nurse came in around 4 am, way too cheerful for that god awful hour.

“Hello dear!” She smiled brightly as you while you moaned and groaned. “I’ve come to prep you for surgery,”

“...Where’s my cousin?” You asked groggily.

“Uh, I’m not sure…” She shook her head while she injected something into your IV. Then she helped you maneuver with all your wires and contraptions to the wheeled bed which take you to the OR.

“...What the hell did you just give me?” You rubbed your eyes sleepily.

“Oh it’s the pre-anesthesia,” She explained. “The girls and I call it ‘giggle juice’,”

“...Like alcohol?” Your eyes widened.

“No, no dear calm yourself,” The nurse assured you. “It’s some medicine that will make you loopy, you won’t remember a thing I promise you,”

“Mmm..kay…” You blinked several times, feeling the drug take affect. Everything quickly went fuzzy, and you felt nice and warm. You realized that you were being wheeled down the hall now, with heated blankets on top of you. You felt like a cozy little burrito, safe in a tortilla.

You felt yourself being rolled into an OR, many masked people were there to greet you. They all had smile eyes behind their masks, they made you feel as safe as possible. Then, they rolled you next to...Rafael?

“....R-Raff---?” You could barely speak from the meds, but your eyes lit up at the sight of him.

“Hey…” He mumbled dreamily, his green eyes sparkling at you. Clearly he had some ‘giggle juice’ of his own.

“I--I don’t…” You shook your head, trying to grasp what was happening. Wasn’t Sonny supposed to be the one laying next to you? Was this Sonny and you were just seeing Rafael’s face?

“Hey hey hey shh,” Rafael shook his head softly and reached out for your hand. You poked it out through the burrito blanket and took his-- it was real. He was really there. He was giving you his liver, to save your life.

“I love you, Y/N,” He smiled the biggest smile you’d ever seen on a human.

“...Really?” You bit your lip with your own huge smile. You prayed to God this was NOT a drug induced dream. “I love you too,”

“Alright you two lovebirds,” You heard the surgeon chuckle. “There will be time enough for this after you’re sharing a liver,”

Wait. This means Sonny lied to you. Was he lying about everything? Was he lying when he said Rafael wanted a clean break? Was Sonny just trying to keep you two apart?

All of your realizations and questions were quickly silenced by the gas mask going over your face.

“Now count down from ten, dear,” The anesthesiologist instructed you. You wanted to say no, that you had to talk to Rafael before all of this happened. But you glanced over to see he was already out, and soon you were too.

--------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in a recovery room with a huge window. The sun was streaming in and welcoming you back to the world. You looked down to see a huge incision sewn up by several stitches with clear gauze and tape holding it together. It didn’t hurt yet, but you figured you were still on a lot of pain meds. You wondered how Sonny was doing, if the surgery went well for him too. Soon a nurse came into check on you.

“Well dear, how are we feeling?”

“Ah good,” You smiled weakly. “I guess as good as I can anyway,”

“Oh of course,” She nodded sweetly as she changed your bandages and replaced your fluids.

“Do you know how my cousin’s doing?” You asked her, causing her to furrow her eyebrows.

“Your cousin?” She repeated. “Well dear, I’m sure he’s fine. He hasn’t gotten here yet, probably the morning rush hour traffic,”

“...What?” Now you were the one to furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean he’s not here? Didn’t he--”

“Oh, look at that,” The nurse quickly finished switching the IV’s and looked at her tablet. “I’m late for my rounds. You rest up sweetie and I’ll come back tonight to get you ready to leave,”

“Rest up?” You repeated softly to yourself as she walked out of the room. “Leave?”

What did any of that mean? And why wasn’t Sonny already at the hospital? Didn’t he have surgery as well? They would have had to already have done it, right? Otherwise whose liver was inside you right now?! You had so many more questions, but apparently Nurse Ratchet gave you some morphine to knock you out until later that evening.

------------

Rafael woke up groggily in his hospital room, already in pain. He looked down to see an incision covered in gauze and tape. He looked next to him to see Sonny smiling sadly at him.

“...Oh god,” Rafael began to panic. “What happened?”

“What? Nothing, you’re great. Y/N is great,”

“Good,” He took a sigh of relief. “So when can I see her?”

“Yeah, here’s the thing Barba…”

“Oh no,” Rafael shook his head violently. “No no no no NO, Carisi. You said--”

“I know what I said, Barba,” He nodded. “But see the thing is, the place that I got Y/N too, it’s not only a rehab but it’s a hospital too. And they fill up super fast. So y’know I had to jump at the opening,”

“....What does that even mean, Carisi?” Rafael's eyes narrowed.

“....It means they already took her up there, so she could recover from the surgery and go right into rehab,” He lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie. You were going to leave in a few hours, after he came and got you of course.

“You son of a bitch!!” Rafael tried to lunge at him from the bed, but his incision began to pull and shot pain through his entire body. He spasmed and fell back into the bed.

“Who whoa whoa there Barba,” Sonny tried easing him down as if he was a bull or a horse. “You’re gonna pop those stitches,”

“You knew you were going to send her away before I could say goodbye, didn’t you?” He glared at Sonny. “You knew this whole time you were never going to let me see her again. I gave her part of my liver!”

“And you saved her life, and I thank you for that Barba. I really do. And that should make you happy, right? The love of your life is going to live a long, happy life because of you,”

“Without me,” He added angrily.

“Well hey now,” Sonny clicked his tongue. “Never say never. Y’know when she’s completely over all of this, and you, maybe someday she’ll make her way back to the city and you guys can have your little weird friendship again, yeah?”

“Why are you doing this to her? To us?” His voice was more sad now, pitiful.

“I’m doing this for her, Barba. Please try and understand that,” Sonny shook his head as he walked towards the door.

“You’ll never get away with this, Carisi! I’ll find her,”

“Damn Barba I’m not a supervillain, cool your jets,”

“Could’ve fooled me,”

“HEY,” Sonny warned. “What I’m doing is for the greater good,”

“Said every supervillain ever,”

"Hurtful, Barba," Sonny put a hand to his chest. "Feel better, yeah?"

Rafael flipped him the bird as he walked out of the room, the door shutting behind him. He searched frantically around his bed for his phone, he had to google Hospital Rehabs, he had to find you.

He would find you, he wouldn't stop until he did.

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu fanfiction #sonny carisi #sonny carisi fanfiction #sonny carisi imagine #rafael barba x reader #weird secret friends

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mcbenson25 · 3 years

Text

Birthday (Carisi X Reader)

Summary: Another busy day in New York except that today is not just any normal day...

--------------------------------

Traffic in New York is a pain.

Everyone knew this and yet people still thought they could be on time during rush hour. Of course, that was a lie. Walking wasn't a very good idea either but it was better than traffic. With walking, you could only hope no one would run you over as you crossed the street.

Today was one of those days you had slept in. In any other normal city, you could easily rush to work with no obstacles. But it wasn't a normal city and there were obstacles. Welcome to New York.

"Great I'm going to be late. There is no way I can nake it on time," you thought as you tried to dress presentful without looking like someone who rolled out of bed. When you were satisfied with how you looked you grabbed your keys and left your apartment to work. As you walked outside your phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Morning Y/n," a cheerful voice answered.

You couldn't help but smile at the voice that belonged to Detective Carisi. It was no secret that you had an enormous crush on him. That is to anyone but him. The both of you were very close friends but you felt something more towards him. You were afraid to tell him because you weren't sure he felt the same way about you.

"Morning Carisi," you responded back with a smile.

"So Lui is wondering where you are 'cause we thought you were coming with us this morning for coffee."

Right. You were going to get coffee with them today.

"Oh um can you tell Liv I'm running a little late?" you asked him.

"Sure. Don't worry about it," Carisi told you.

"Okay, thanks. See you later."

"Bye."

After you hung up you yet again, debated on taking a taxi or walking. Traffic still didn't look friendly enough to be in a taxi so you walked.

On your way to the station, you decided to stop for coffee since you were not going to be able to catch up with the rest of the squad for coffee. As you ordered you spotted Barba sitting at a table with coffee. He glanced up and saw you and you approached him.

"Hey weren't you supposed to go out for coffee with them?" he asked you.

"Yeah I woke up a little late so I couldn't," you explained to him, pausing before saying, "Weren't you supposed to go too?"

"I couldn't because I had an errand to run this morning," he said simply before taking a drink of coffee.

"That's weird. Barba never misses coffee with us. Plus what errand did he have to get done so early in the morning? You thought to yourself. Probably some court stuff before work. You glanced at your watch realizing you needed to start heading towards the station if you wanted to get there at a decent time.

"Well I'll see you later then," you said to him getting ready to leave but as you turned around he grabbed your wrist.

"Actually Liv just texted me that there's a problem at the courthouse and she wants you to come with me," he said.

Confused you checked your phone to see if she had texted you but the screen was blank.

"Well she didn't-," you were cut off by Barba who grabbed your arm and said, "Come on we have to go."

"Okay Mr. Grabby I heard you, chillax with the grip," you said to him as you tried to pull out.

He chuckled as he let you go, "Just making sure your coming". As you both walked out you could have sworn that in the distance you saw Carisi with a huge red bundle walking towards the coffee shop but quickly dismissed it when Barba engaged you in conversation. ------------------------------------------------------ "Picking up some papers? That was the big emergency?" you asked frustrated as Barba received the papers he had requested.

"Not just any papers. They are case papers," he said.

"That you could have literally picked up by yourself."

"Well it wasn't my call it was-," he was cut off by the ring of his phone.

"Thank God you finally called I can't stand her any longer," he said pretending to be annoyed," Okay we're on our way".

"What's up?" you asked.

"We have to go to the station. There's a little surprise waiting for you."

------------------------------------------------------ "This better is worth all this running around," you say as you both walk into the station.

"SURPRISE!" the squad exclaims as they throw confetti at you which causes you to jump.

"Holy cow. You all scared me," you say as you clutch your chest recovering from the scare it gave you.

"We didn't mean to scare you!" Liv said as she pulled you into a hug.

"What is this all about?" you asked as Olivia let you out of her embrace, confused as to why they had planned this for you.

She looked at you confused. "Isn't it your birthday today?"

You were quiet for a moment as it dawned on you. You had been so busy lately you had completely forgotten about your own birthday.

"I forgot about my own birthday," you said quietly.

"That's what we're here for," Amanda said hitting your arm lightly, "to keep you on track and make sure you don't marry your job."

"That's so sweet of you guys. Thank you so much," you said happily.

Someone behind you cleared their throat making you turn around.

Standing there was Carisi holding a huge bunch of red roses.

"Happy Birthday to the most brilliant, beautiful woman ever," he said as he handed you the roses.

"Thank you so much," you said as you felt your cheeks heat up.

He smiled before saying, "I have one more present for you," he said as he enlaced his hand with yours, "Y/n I have had the honor of being with you for so long but I have felt something I have never felt before and the truth is that I love you more than anything in the word and I would love for you to be my girlfriend."

You stood there shocked not being able to believe what had just happened.

"You know, I think he's waiting for an answer," Barba said to you.

You glared at him before turning back to Carisi and saying, "Yes I would love that!"

He smiled as he pulled you into a hug as whispered so only you could hear, "I love you."

You pulled him for a kiss. This was by far the best birthday present ever.

#lawandordersvu #svu fanfiction #svureader #svu fandom #svu fic #l&o: svu #svu #sonnycarisi #carisi x reader #lawandorderfanfic #dominic carisi #sonnycarisixreader #dominiccarisixreader #xreader #x reader #fluff

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storiesofsvu · 2 years

Text

Sonny Carisi SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Carisi is the softest, most must be protected bean any of us has ever met. He is THE most affectionate person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter who’s around, he’s always overly touchy and will always give you a soft kiss, a tight hug before he leaves you because he fucking loves you more than life itself.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He doesn’t take much to start a friendship, he’s already been through a tough time with NYPD, plowing through the boroughs before landing at Manhattan SVU. Likely the first person to be friends with him would be someone he cherished. Being Sonny’s best friend would include lots of nights out over a couple of beers, and more than enough nights of him cooking for you. Even just platonically he’s always going to be keeping an eye out for you, he loves passionately in every aspect of his life and that’s never going to stop. If you’re his bff, you’ve probably met his entire family too. (check out Censured for the Sonny bff relationship)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Sonny is the MOST cuddly person, WOW. I mean, that man was MADE for it, really! Why else would he be THAT tall and THAT lanky, he is just made to pull you into his arms, head tucked beneath his chin while he tells you everything’s going to be okay. Leg sneaking between yours while he rubs your back. Oof. man is king of cuddling

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Dominick Carisi is the ULTIMATE of husband material. He wants nothing more than to find the love if his life and settle down and pop out a few kids. like, NBC, COME ON and let this man at LEAST have a girlfriend next season, he deserves it. We already know he’s an incredible cook, i’m sure he’s good at cleaning too.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be fucking heartbroken if it was anything longer than usual. He’d always do it in person despite being super fucking nervous. He’d be apologizing the entire time, saying how much he still cared about them but it just wasn’t something that was going to work out, and how incredibly sorry he was.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

This man was looking for a wife the day he graduated high school and you cannot tell me otherwise (which is why it breaks my poor lil heart every day to see that SVU has left him with no one but the will they wont they of Rollins cause he deservers BETTER)

He’s ready to settle down, he doesn’t date just anyone, he’ll only date people he considers wife material there’s a long list of questions that get playfully asked when he’s on his first few dates, weeding out those who aren’t on the same page. He’s not ready to waste time. Once he finds the one, he’ll be married in just under a year, completely and totally in love.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

OH GOODNESS. Sonny Carisi is the softest, most gentle bean you have EVER MET. Physically, he might get angry with a perp but if he raises his voice at you he’s INSTANTLY apologizing, his voice soft, waiting for your okay before he wraps you in his arms, telling you he’d never hurt you. He might get over aggressive while fighting with people (you included), his brow furrowing and his hands flailing while he talks but he’s NEVER going to even think about touching you when he’s angry. Poor guy won’t even spank you when you ask for it.

Emotionally, especially outside of work, this smol bean is literally the most gentle being on earth. I’m still mad we never saw more after the ep where he tried to save the perp that ended up jumping over a ledge accidentally, of the ep where there was a GUN TO HIS HEAD. (but noooo…those were all Liv focussed seasons). Sonny deserved to have someone to come home to those eps. He’s so soft emotionally, every single fucking day he comes home to you alive after a day of police work he’s going to give you the deepest, biggest fucking hug ever. It’s literally going to be at LEAST a minute long while he breathes in your scent, feels your body against his, feeling your heart beat, feels your breath against his skin until he’s assured that you’re actually there, still his and alive.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Okay see above. He loves hugs, he’s gonna hug you at minimum three times a day. His hugs are the type that simply wrap around you, it doesn’t matter what his relationship is with you he’s going to tug you against him, reminding you that its all gonna be okay

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’s probably going to say if faster than the last few people you’d dated. Nothing crazy, he’s still kinda insecure about that, but he does love you more than anything. Once he feels you softly snuggle against him, that gentle hum of satisfaction, knowing you aren’t going anywhere, he’s putty in your hands.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t get super jealous, at least not outwardly. He might see green occasionally, but he’s one to sidle up against you, wrapping an arm around you while he kisses your head and is all “Hey doll..” While you giggle against his shoulder.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are like fucking HEAVEN. Those lips!? They move against yours with ease, with precision, and you always love it. He loves to kiss you on the lips, his little kisses on your cheeks, the way you giggle at the wet contact, turning to him so he can kiss your lips. He loves when you nip and kiss down his neck, especially when your lips wrap around his nipples

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

We all know Sonny is amazing around kids, he’s already Uncle Sonny. He can’t wait to have kids, and you’re okay with taking a career break if that means you get to start a family with him cause you love him so much and know he’ll be an incredible father.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Your mornings are the most adorable. A lazy wakeup, some snuggles and kisses. If you have the day off you’re definitely having some lazy morning sex. If not you’ll eventually drag him out of bed to the shower, spending time cleaning each other before you have to push him from your giggling frame, telling him he needs to start the coffee while you wash your hair. The mornings are quiet, soft, full of adoration.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights can be spent a few ways, you’re both adults, both working the law industry. Sometimes you’re home on time where he cooks you dinner as you sit on the kitchen counter getting tastes and sips of the delicious food, humming in satisfaction at how much you love him. Sometimes there’s nothing left to do but fuck the shit out of each other, and sometimes you come home so exhausted you simply collapse against each others arms you barely remember anything before sleeping.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Sonny’s pretty quick to open up to you, revealing things all at once, especially once he’s had a few too many glasses of wine, though he’s embarrassed about it, you encourage him that it’s nothing to be worried about

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

By you? It takes a lot more than usual, he’s such a sweet guy that he’ll always work through the possibilities before blaming you for something. When it comes to work though he’s pretty quick to get mad

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Sonny does his best to remember as much as he can, he remembers most of your favourite things, important dates, anniversaries, etc. He’s always quick to text/call on the morning of your birthday or other special days. He might forget a thing here or there and he probably feels bad about it.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

It’s definitely a tie between your first kiss and the moment you exchanged I love you’s for the first time. Your first kiss was so gentle, so pure, he’d taken you out for dinner, walking you home through the park, the warm spring air whirling around you. Your hand intentionally swinging too close to his until he finally gathered the courage to interlock your fingers, the flush creeping up his neck, the soft giggles escaping your mouth. When you got to you apartment you said you had the greatest time, mentioning that you couldn’t wait to do it again. Your interlocked hands tugged you together, the affection radiating off your body he gently leant down, cupping your face with his free hand, laying the softest of kisses against your lips. It was when you departed, the grin bursting on your cheeks, hands linking behind his neck that he knew he never wanted to stop kissing you, arms wrapping around you while he pulled you to his lips again, the kiss full of passion.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Naturally, he knows how horrible the world can be, but he trusts you. He knows you can take care of yourself, he’s cautious if you’re leaving his place late at night, urging you to call once you’re home safe (which you always do). It’s more so after he moves into the position of ADA that he keeps a close eye on his cases, the second he gets any kind of threat is the INSTANT you get a police detail.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s more about the small things, especially once you’ve been together for a while. It’s about making your favourite breakfast Sunday mornings, the lazy cuddles he knows you love, picking up your favourite wine on the way home when you’ve had a bad day. You love when he cooks for you, whatever recipe from the Carisi cook book he has is more than enough for date night. When he does take you out for something special he’ll go all out, the fancy restaurant, the fancy suit, making sure you have a nice new dress for the occasion. But on a regular basis you’d much rather be throwing back a few cold beers munching on chicken wings at a dive bar with him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He tends to drop everything for his family, sometimes that includes you. He’s also much more likely to go to Confession to talk things through with a priest than work through any of his issues with you, which bothers you cause you know the kind of things he sees on a daily basis, and don’t want him to go through it alone.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Sonny’s gotten better through the years, that moustache…that’s all Imma say… you absolutely love the way he looks in a 3 piece suit and will always make sure he knows it. He doesn’t care too much, coming from a big family he wasn’t always blessed with super fancy clothes and he doesn’t care. If he’s not working, he’ll throw on a henley and jeans, some old sweats and a Fordham tee (though he much prefers that tee on you).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Sonny definitely feels ultimately complete with you, he’s his own man and has grown into being a wonderful human, but with you at his side, he feels like he could conquer the goddamn world.

X = Xtra (A random head canon for them.)

Despite being Italian and usually making the pasta from scratch, he has a suuuuuper soft spot for some fucking boxed Kraft Dinner, especially when he’s drunk. To the point that the Bodega guy on the corner fully knows what he’s coming in for at 2am, laughing at the irony.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

With a partner, Sonny’s not going to want someone who doesn’t want to settle down, he wants a wife, he wants kids, and if you don’t want those, it’s going to be done. He also needs his partner to get along with his family, as chaotic as it can get, if his Ma doesn’t like you, you’re probably hittin the road

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Boy has troubles sleeping. Fucking fight me. He’s been through/seen a lot of trauma and is a soft smol bean, and doesn’t cope very well/go to therapy about it, just confession. He’s rare to talk things over with a s/o or friend, he finds his mind racing at night, images unable to leave his brain. He always sleeps better with you there, the warmth of your body, the beat of your heart reminding him of the better things in his life.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #law and order #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu #sonny carisi headcanons

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 3 years

Text

Undercover love

@detective-giggles and i came up with this a little while ago and it bloomed into this cute little two parter. Part 1 to this

Warnings: This does talk of undercover work and the reader being put in a bad situation with drugs and an serial predator.

WC: 2701

Enjoy x

“So- care to tell me why I wasn’t informed that my Detective was undercover at one of the biggest law firms in the country?” Rafael pulled off his jacket throwing it over Nick’s desk putting his hands on his hips as he walked over to the big screens set up in the bullpen.

“If you had answered your phone this morning you would have known” Liv stood up from the chair she was sitting on pulling her glasses off walking towards Rafael while everyone else chuckled at his statement “Interesting choice of words Rafa” Liv smirked at him

“You know what I meant” he snapped back, frowning at Liv.

“Did we?” Nick shot over his shoulder.

“No one asked you Amaro” Rafael hissed “I could have blown her cover”

“Barba your face was priceless” Sonny turned to smile at him, making Nick, Amanda and Fin burst out laughing.

“Yeah yeah jokes on me” Rafael narrowed his eyes at Sonny “Going to fill me?” he looked at Liv huffing “I need to stay to make sure all my detectives are doing their job”

“I see what you did there, nice try” Liv smirked at him.

A victim had come in claiming she had been assaulted by the head of Jeffery and Partners, one the biggest firms in Manhattan. After doing more digging there were multiple complaints brushed under the carpet, some now out of the statute of limitations, only one case with evidence which was the most recent from that week. So it was decided for you to go undercover to catch him red handed. Jeff Jeffery had the same MO. Pretty personal assistants, wine and dine her week 1, take her for drinks and dancing, drug and assault her week 2. He had a huge turnover of assistants some not even remembering being assaulted.

You had turned up at the firm that morning in a tight fitting grey and burgundy plaid knee length tight fitting dress, black waist belt with burgundy cardigan and a pair of black peep toed Mary Jeans. Your thick rimmed glasses had a camera in it and your watch had your microphone. Your undercover name was Rachel.

The undercover was approved by Tucker, but you never knew that morning that Rafael would be turning up to have a meeting with Jeff about a case the DA had kicked to Rafael to get it sorted out. As soon as you saw Rafael being walked into the conference room your eyes opened wide and you saw him do a double take. He went to open his mouth and you shook your head slightly at him and it clicked. You were standing next a sitting Jeff sorting out some files for the meeting,

“Rachel, be a Darling and order Mr Barba and I a coffee. You know how I like it” Jeff winked at you reaching up and giving your hip a squeeze. Rafael frowned as anger ripped through him seeing another man touch you like that.

“Mr Barba how do you like your coffee?” You looked over at Rafael trying to act cool.

“Black” Rafael looked you in the eye, a slight smile pulling to his mouth.

“No problems” you smiled walking out of the room.

“Pretty thing isn’t she” Jeff looked over at Rafael who gave him a tight lipped smile.

It had been a long first day and you felt so dirty. Jeff was a sleaze. Nick, Sonny and Rafael clenched their teeth in anger a few times that day watching how Jeff spoke to you and touched you. You had to kept your cool and played along. The undercover was only approved for 3 weeks.

“This guy is creep, it’s her first day” Sonny kept watching the screen.

“I don’t want her in there longer then she needs to be” Rafael looked at Liv all red by what he was seeing the jealousy running through him.

“Neither do we” Amanda answered back.

“If he sticks to the same pattern, he will ask her for dinner on Friday, then next weekend comes the dancing and drinks.” Liv looked between everyone.

“I’ll have to remind her again to not drink the cocktail when that happens” Nick looked at Liv.

----

You had just stepped out of your bathroom after a shower still feeling dirty from the day, walking out in navy cotton shorts and a Beatles Abby Rd t shirt, your hair still damp. You had ordered in Thai for dinner and thought that’s who it was when there was a knock on the door.

“Just a second” you yelled as you pulled money out of your purse walking to the door, you swung it open, “You’re not my dinner- Hey Barba” a small smile came to your face.

Rafael laughed gruffly at you looking you up and down taking you in, “No I’ am not your dinner Detective. Can I come in?”

“Sure” you moved out of the way for him, “Is something wrong?” You said to Rafael’s back as he walked into your apartment.

“No, it’s a social call” Rafael spun on his heels to look at you “I wanted to check in, make sure you were ok after today. I was with the squad all day watching”

“Mr ADA checking up on me hey” you winked at him and walked into your kitchen to turn the jug on, Rafael laughed to himself. “Coffee? Or something stronger?”

“What are you having?” Rafael shot back at you with a smirk.

“After today, something stronger” you laughed.

You turned around in the kitchen and opened the cabinet that had your harder liquor and mixers. Rafael watched as you reached up on your tippy toes stretching up giving him a good view of your ass and seeing the exposed skin around your middle from your shirt riding up, he felt himself twitch behind his zipper and cleared his throat to control himself.

“Pink gin and lemonade?” you looked over your shoulder.

“Sounds good Y/N”

----

“Well I better call it a night” Rafael looked at you with a small smile starting to get up off his chair “Thanks for sharing your dinner with me and the drinks” You now standing making your way around the table, walking closer to Rafael.

You had a good night with him. The laughs and the conversation just flowed. An amazing tension filled the apartment, and the flirty back and forth excited you.

“You’re welcome anytime Rafael, it was just what I needed after today. It’s only the first day” you huffed “Can only imagine what the next couple of weeks are going to be like”

Rafael walked closer, running his pointer finger knuckle down your jaw.

“How about tomorrow night- I can bring dinner and wine?” his nose almost touching yours “Help you unwind”

“Just dinner and wine?” you looked up with a cheeky smile on your face, Rafael laughed gruffly.

“For now” he looked at you with a smirk “Just until the trial is over and the case is closed. Then I’ll be making you scream my name” You laughed stepping back.

“You’re going to make me wait 3 weeks?” you crossed your arms in front of yourself frowning.

“I promise it will be worth it” Rafael lent over and kissed you on the cheek. Rafael pulled away and had a serious look on his face “If it gets too much, let me know and I’ll get you out of there. Please stay safe”

****

Rafael had come to your apartment every night bringing dinner with him and helping you unwind. The tension between you both was thick and heavy. Just the night before, you both stood in your hallway as he was leaving just touching each other all over, ghosting each other’s lips, fingers tips just brushing along skin, Rafael extremely hard and you so wet.

“Do we really have to wait?” you said into his lips as yours almost touched his.

“It’s for the best or I’ll have to recuse myself. Just a bit longer- It’s killing me too” Rafael answered back as his fingertips brushed down your arm.

****

“Y/N remember, don’t drink the cocktail” Nick looked over at you.

You were standing in the bullpen with everyone including Rafael while you put on your spy wear. A camera in your earrings and your microphone in your necklace.

“I don’t know how I feel about you going in dressed like that” Sonny looked at you up and down.

“I agree” Rafael followed, everyone turning to look at him.

“Ok Dad’s-You two need to relax I need to look the part” You snapped back at them both.

You had a black backless very low v cut thinned strapped singlet top with a gold sequin short a lined skirt with black strappy blocked heels that wrapped up around your ankles. Your hair down in lose waves and heavy make up with plum lips.

“Carisi, Rollins and Amaro will be in the club, you know your signal. We will be waiting in the van” Liv looked at you a little concerned.

“I’ll be fine Liv” You smiled at her squeezing her arm “I can’t wait to nail the bastard. I better go or I’ll be late, see you all after” You turned on your heels and headed to the lifts. Just as you pushed the button you felt a hand on your shoulder, you turned to see Rafael looking at you,

“If it’s about my outfit-“

“No” Rafael shook his head “Please be safe” he lent over and kissed you on the cheek.

You gave Rafael a small smile reaching a hand up to his cheek rubbing your thumb over his cheek bone, he lent into your hand “I’ll be fine Rafael, I know you’ll be waiting to take me home” you winked at him stepping into the lift.

The night club was filled to the brim, you would never know how Jeff managed to get a private booth in such a popular night club. You scanned the room and saw Amanda and Sonny sitting on the stools at a high top table, then saw Nick near some speakers near your booth also in clear view which settled you’re nerves. Rafael, Liv and Fin in the van watching your screen,

“As soon as she signal’s” Rafael looked over at Liv.

“Relax Barba she is doing a good job” Liv patted him on the shoulder.

Jeff had been handies from the moment you walked in. You were sitting next to him with his hands all over you running along every inch on your exposed skin.

“How about a shot and a cocktail” Jeff said into your ear.

“Sure” you kissed him on the cheek. He got up and walked to the bar, “I ‘am glad this is over tonight, don’t know how many showers I’ll need to get the muck off” you said loud so the van could hear it, Fin and Liv chuckled low at your comments, a small smirk on Rafael’s face.

Jeff had walked back to the booth with a tray which had two shots and two cocktails. He placed the tray on the table and handed you your shot. He made his way back over to you sitting right next to you putting his arm around your waist holding the shot glass up to you,

“Cheers to the most beautiful assistant I have ever had. May the fun begin” you both clicked your glasses and shot it back.

You were dirty dancing with Jeff soon after when you started to feel hot and light headed, you hadn’t touched your cocktail so you didn’t know why you were feeling like that. You shook your head and continued to dance. Jeff sat down on the couch in the booth, pulling you onto his lap. He started to run his hand up under your skirt, you pushed his hand away,

“I-don’t-feel-well” You tried to get up off him. Jeff pulled you back onto him.

“Where do you think you’re going, the fun is just beginning” his hand went under your skirt again. Your head was swimming and you felt dizzy.

“Stop-Liv-Raf-Rafi”

----

Rafael had sat in the van with his teeth clenched nearly all night. He couldn’t even drink coffee he thought he might throw up with what he was seeing unfolding in front of him. The way Jeff had his hands all over you made his blood boil. Liv had seen him multiple times ball his hands into fits.

He couldn’t wait for all this to be over so he could get you home and finally rid both of you of all the tension that had built up between you, he knew the wait would be worth it. After he saw you shoot the shot back he started to feel uneasy like something was telling him something. After a little while he could hear your breathing getting deeper,

“Something isn’t right” he sat up in his chair “Tell them to move in”

“Wow Barba” Liv looked at him with her mouth slightly open, Fin’s eyes wide.

“Listen to her breathing, something is wrong with her, Liv tell them to move in NOW” he slammed his hand down on the bench.

“She is dancing. Rafael I’ am commanding officer”

When your screen footage moved fast from you shaking your head and as soon as he heard you say you didn’t feel well, panic filled him.

“He spiked the shot” Rafael blurted out reaching over for the radio in front of Liv pulling it to his mouth “All unites go go go”

Sonny and Amanda looked at each other confused hearing Rafael’s voice coming over their ear piece, Nick quickly looked at you. He seen you stand up off Jeff and then fall onto the couch passed out Jeff reaching over to pull you onto him.

“I SAID GO DETECTIVES NOW” Rafael shouted over the radio while Liv and Fin jumped out the back on the van to run inside the club.

The club was locked down and Jeff was arrested. Nick wasn’t so gentle when putting his hand cuffs on, walking out to throw him in a squad car. Sonny and Amanda had rushed over to you when they saw you passed out on the couch. Both of them worried when they shook you and it did nothing. Sonny scooped you up bridal style and walked outside of the club to wait for EMT hoping the fresh air would wake you up slightly, Liv following behind leaving Fin and Amanda to crowd control.

Rafael was pacing outside the front door, he was tempted to just walk in, but he knew he couldn’t so he waited. His heart was in his throat when he seen you in Sonny’s arms limp and passed out. The EMT had just pulled up and Sonny walked straight over to put you inside,

“Barba, I’ am sorry I should of listened” Liv stopped next to Rafael.

“Yes you should have. You’re a smart women Liv how could you not see what was going on” Rafael frowned at her “You need to find out what he has given her for it to kick in so fast. You put her in danger, he has done enough damage to her these last couple weeks, we have all seen it and you still let her walk back in there every day and then you let him pull that not even taking on board what I could see was going on” Rafael raised his voice at Liv “I told you last week I had enough for a case and you kept pushing her to go back”

“I thought your jealousy was getting in the way” Liv shot back, making Rafael huff back frustrated.

“So because you thought I was jealous you left her in there to what- punish me for having feelings for her?”

“Barba- She had a job to do. No one knew what was going on” Liv put her hands on her hips.

“I did” Rafael shouted again “All the signs were there how could you no- you know what” he frowned to her “You and I are done talking” Rafael turned his back and walked to ambulance.

Tags: @beccabarba @the-baby-bookworm @thatesqcrush @dianilaws @scarletsoldierrr @lv7867 @permanentlydizzy @averyhotchner

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plaidbooks · 3 years

Text

Rough Beginnings

A/N: So! This idea spawned after reading @cycat-carisi story, We. Please read that first, then come back here for this prequel! This also covers the Mafia square in @adarafaelbarba moodboard bingo!

Tags: mentions of a prostitution ring, talks of murder and mafia-related goings-on

Words: 1964

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

(gif by @resparza )

Sonny never hated his job more than when he went undercover. He had hated when he was posing as a homeless man with an eye for children, but this was worse. So. Much. Worse.

His cover story for this job was that he was part of the Italian mob, and he had been hired on as security for a prostitution ring; some huge network that was international but had its roots right here in Manhattan. Him, along with multiple real mafia members, were in charge of transporting girls, drugs, and anything else the head honcho told them to.

It had been three months since he went under; his beard itched his face still, his leather jacket was starting to be uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing more than to take all of these bastards down. But they didn’t have enough yet. So, he had to stick it out a little longer—at least, that’s what he told himself. A little longer, a little longer. He wasn’t sure how much “little longer” he had left in him.

Sonny lived in the housing quarters his boss supplied him, along with three other mafia guys. He had almost zero contact with the world outside his job—all the information he gathered was sent in a coded text from a burner. But he was starting to miss his friends and family. At least his employer understood that as part of the Italian mob, Sonny was allowed to go to church on Sundays…if there wasn’t something big happening.

His saving grace came a month later, while standing guard at his boss’s door. A woman he’d seen before came stomping up to him, and he braced himself; he knew that look.

“Let me see my father,” you snarled.

Sonny rose his hands defensively. “I was given orders ta not let anyone in. That includes you,” he replied, crossing his arms once more and trying to puff out his chest. But you simply glared at him.

“Fuck you; let me in, before I force my way in,” you growled.

He chuckled, eyeing you. “Ya really think you can get passed me? Let’s see ya try, doll.”

You gave him another impressive glare before trying to lunge passed him, reaching for the handle. Sonny caught you easily around your midsection, lifting you and placing you down at arm’s length in front of him.

“That the best ya got?” he teased. This wasn’t the first time you tried to brute force your way passed him before, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. But you had a trick up your sleeve.

You let your bottom lip quiver, tears appearing in your eyes. “Pl-please, sir, let m-me see my—” you trailed off, sniffling loudly.

“Ah geez, don’t be doing that. Come on; he’s in a meeting and will be out soon. Just wait a lil, okay?” he said, a touch of pleading in his voice.

But you didn’t stop, letting the tears trail down your cheeks. You let out a loud sob, and Sonny wanted to rip his hair out; he didn’t need a tantrum with daddy’s spoiled brat right now. He internally winced at that; he didn’t really believe that that was what you were, but when you came up here, trying to cry your way in, his mind went there.

You let out another loud sob. “Please, doll, I promise ta let him know as soon as he’s free—” Sonny started, but he was cut off by the door behind him opening. He stood at attention—like a good little lapdog—and the man who was having a meeting with his employer came out. He took one look at you, then left, rolling his eyes. You quickly wiped your face with your shirt before your dad appeared.

“And what are you doing here?” your father asked, annoyance dripping from his voice.

Sonny felt bad for you, but said nothing, gave away no emotions on his face as you requested to speak with him, privately.

He nodded, and Sonny moved out of the way, letting you enter, the door closing softly behind you both. He released a breath; it was always high tension after a meeting. But Sonny also found himself feeling sorry for you, having a father like that. He was hoping that when the walls came down, you’d at least be spared; you had no real idea of your father’s business, how big and deep it ran.

The meeting between you and your father didn’t last long, and soon enough, the door was opening once more behind him.

“Sonny; drive my daughter home. Giuliano will cover you until you're back,” your father ordered.

Sonny nodded, letting you pass him before following you. He kept his emotions in check, but he saw the look on your face; sadness, betrayal, and fear. He vaguely wondered what you had talked about but didn’t want to pry; he could be fired or worse for it.

It wasn’t until halfway through the drive to your place that he asked if you were okay.

“Fantastic,” you muttered, staring out the window.

Sonny wasn’t sure why he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut; the words just spilled out. “Ya father is a hard man. I’m sorry ya have ta deal with that.” It was a mistake, he knew; if you were indeed loyal to your father, then saying that out loud was a good way to end up dead.

You blinked in surprise at his bluntness, and for his apology. “Y—yeah, he is. I wouldn’t let him catch you saying that, though.”

He nodded. “Uh, how ‘bout makin’ it our little secret, then?” he asked, hoping beyond hope that you’d say nothing about this to him.

“Our little secret…. Yeah, okay,” you replied dryly, eyes going back to the window.

*******************

After that conversation, Sonny’s boss would often send him to you, whether to drive you or as extra protection—more like babysitting, to Sonny. But he found that he couldn’t complain; it was the only time he could be close to his true self…plus it was safer and better than doing other, illicit things. Even if he should be doing those things for intel. And of course, he never slipped up like he had on that first car ride. No, he was Sonny from the Italian mob, not the soft-hearted detective. He held you at arm’s length, determined to not let the mask slip. But something about you got to him, and he found himself afraid of you. Afraid that he’d make a mistake, and that you would see right through him.

“Sonny, why do you do this job?” you asked one day while he was driving you home. It had been over a month since your father had basically assigned Sonny to you.

He tried to stay neutral, but you saw how he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “’Cause it’s a job. I was hired.”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it,” you replied, smiling.

His jaw tightened. “Nah, see, when my boss tells me ta do somethin’, I do it.”

“You’re not like the rest, though. The others, I see murder in their eyes. They have such dark thoughts; it’s almost like they’re hoping my father gives them a kill order,” you explained. True, your father told you that they were security guards for his business, but you never bought that story; they were more like murderers than security. The day when Sonny kept you out of your father’s office was the first time you noticed that he was different; his eyes were soft, and he talked to you like a person, rather than making vaguely concealed threats. He seemed to genuinely care when you started to fake cry, even though you knew that he knew it was fake.

His bright blue eyes met with yours in the rearview mirror for a brief moment before flicking back to the road. “We don’t kill—”

“Stop lying to me, Sonny. Please. I deserve to know what’s going on,” you said, a slight begging tone in your voice.

So that confirmed it; you had no idea what your father was capable of. Sonny swallowed, wanting this conversation to end. “Talk ta ya father, not me—”

“I’ve tried! Multiple times! I’m not an idiot; I know he’s shady as hell. But just what are you protecting?”

“If he’s not willin’ ta tell ya, then that should tell ya somethin’, right?” he asked. He pulled over in front of your art studio, putting the car in park and getting out. You thought about his words; it was more than you got from anyone else. To be honest, Sonny always gave you more than anyone else; he didn’t sneer at you, ignore you, call you names like “brat”. And he definitely didn’t look at you with hungry eyes or creepy smiles. He seemed like…like a generally good person, all things considered. You weren’t sure when it had happened, but you noticed you had developed a crush on him.

All too soon, Sonny was opening the door for you to get out. You thanked him as you exited the car, and felt his presence behind you as you climbed the stairs to the door. He always walked you there, to make sure you were safe.

You unlocked and opened the door, then turned around to face him. He gave you a nod and you thanked him again. But something possessed you in that moment; why else would you have grabbed his shirt and pulled him to you in a kiss?

Sonny froze in place, eyes wide, before he placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you back. You looked up at him, the apology dying on your tongue; you weren’t sorry at all. That kiss was worth it in your eyes. But there was an almost…pained? look in Sonny’s eyes.

“D-doll, we can’t—ya father—”

“Never has to know,” you finished for him.

He blinked, obviously warring with himself, and you were sure you knew why; if your father found out about you two, he could have Sonny killed. But, if Sonny felt the same way about you that you did about him, then maybe, just maybe, he could help you escape from under your father. Something about him was safe, trustworthy.

Slowly, you reached up to cup his face. When he didn’t pull away, you gently leaned in again, kissing him slowly, tenderly. He paused for only a moment before he melted against your lips. Then he gently pulled away from you.

“I—I gotta—” He didn’t finish his thought before he turned and hurried down the stairs. You watched him go, hoping that he’d say nothing to your father.

The car door slammed shut and Sonny was quick to turn the car on and leave. What the fuck was he doing, letting you kiss him? And then he kissed you back?! He must be a fucking idiot! Sure, he liked you—more than he was willing to admit—but this could blow his cover. Not to mention get him killed, cover blown or not. Plus, he was lying to you; any feelings you felt weren’t for him but for the façade he put on.

He resolved to keep his distance from you; nothing good could come from any of this. It ended in one of two ways: you, heartbroken over Sonny’s lies, or him buried six feet under in some lot. There was no way to disobey your father if he ordered him to take you home, so there was no avoiding you. Sonny would just have to lay down the rules next time he saw you; absolutely no relationship could exist, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #adarafaelbarbaseptemberbingo

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detectivesvu · 3 years

Text

The Last Piece

Rafael Barba x Fem. Reader

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1,705

“It was always you.”

He had almost given up in all honesty. Day after day went by, and he didn’t feel any closer to you becoming his forever. Every hour, minute, and second of every day he longed for you. He wished upon every star and silently begged to God that your souls would intersect. His heart beat for you. His heart longed for you. His heart loved you.

But he just couldn’t seem to get that in return.

Over the years, as your friendship blossomed, so did his admiration for you. He seemed to fall more and more in love with you with every moment of his life that passed him by. Suddenly, you were the source of his every other thought. When he picked up his coffee order at his favorite shop every morning, he recalled your preferred brew of coffee. When he had time to go on a morning run through Central Park, he thought about how you always adored the beauty of the vegetation and man-made nature.

The longer time went on, however, the more discouraged he felt. He had seen guy after guy enter and exit your life; none of them being the right match for you. He saw the way they didn’t treat you the way you deserved to be. He listened to your disappointment every time a relationship didn’t work out.

It always seemed that you had a new excuse whenever it didn’t work out. It was always “Well, he’s nice but...” or “I just didn’t feel a connection anymore”, but yet you still found yourself in these dead end relationships.

Whenever you came to him after an abrupt end to a relationship, he wanted nothing more than to blurt out how he loved you. How he wanted to spend every spare second of his life with you. He always offered his shoulder for you to cry on, because he’d always be there for you.

He would lie awake most nights, positively exhausted from work but far from sleep, and think about you. He hated how he was letting his life pass him by like this. If he really wanted to, he could go out and find a woman that he cared about. They could get married and have a family, and live a content life. But he knew that wouldn’t be fair.

Because he’d never truly love anyone the way he loved you.

He was beginning to fear that he’d never settle down. No one would ever satisfy him...if they weren’t you. That was his least favorite thing about love. It was the most confusing, draining thing on the planet. He often wondered if it was worth waiting. Should he just accept something that would never be and just carry on through life, always missing the most important piece of his life’s puzzle? When his time came, would he regret waiting around for you, or regret that it never came to be?

Despite all these burning questions, he still valued the relationship you did have. He liked grabbing a nightcap with you or having dinner after a long day. He enjoyed your presence wholeheartedly. He just wanted there to be something more to it.

He was shocked when he heard a knock on his office door on a seemingly normal Tuesday night. It was well into the night now, Carmen had left hours ago along with everyone else in the building. Rafael wasn’t ready to go home just yet. At least if he was here, he had his work to keep him silent company.

His head shot up when he heard the soft rapping on his door. He paused his progress on the paperwork he had been working on. He got up from his seat, his right brow quirked as to who was paying him a visit. Maybe Liv had gotten a piece of evidence in their current case, or maybe Carisi was coming to ask questions about the LSAT. His question was answered when he turned the knob to reveal you standing at his door.

His heart did a surprised leap. He wasn’t expecting you at all.

“[Y/N]?” He wondered out loud; “What are you doing here so late?”

He noted that you were absolutely drenched in rainwater. He had been so submerged in work that he didn’t realize that it had been raining for at least thirty minutes or so. He could see that your eyes were puffy and red, like you had been crying.

He unfroze himself and pulled you into his office, closing the door behind you. He took your wet jacket off, ignoring the puddles that were currently seeping into his carpet. He was worried immensely. It wasn’t like you to come to him so late, at his office by any means. Something was up.

“How did you...” He began to ask how you got into the building so late, but he decided he probably didn’t want to know; “Is everything okay?” He asked instead.

You nodded with a smile and a soft laugh, yet a sniffle was audible. Either you were having a huge emotional reaction to something, or you had finally lost your mind. He was a little apprehensive to touch you, but he eventually rested a hand on your arm in a soothing way. A fresh set of tears brimmed your eyes and you didn’t even fight them, allowing them to spill down your cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m great, actually.” You admitted.

While he was relieved that you weren’t in danger or anything, you sure didn’t look fine. He turned his head to the side in a curious kind of way. His eyes narrowed a tad.

“Then why are you crying?” He queried gently, not wanting to push you further.

He brushed your dripping hair aside, hating the way it was uncomfortably sticking to your skin. That seemed to be the last thing on your mind.

“I...I don’t really know, because I’m the happiest now that I’ve ever been.” You explained, giving a small laugh again.

He was so beyond confused. He had no idea what you were talking about.

“Why, what happened?” He pondered, trying to get you to tell him before his heart exploded with anticipation.

You took his hands into yours, he internally winced at how cold the rain had made your skin. He was looking into your eyes. The very same ones that were so beautiful and glittered as if they had stars trapped inside of them.

“You. You’re what happened.” You confessed.

In that moment, he felt as if time had stopped. The planet stopped spinning and his heart stopped pounding. What did that mean? Had he done something wrong? If he had done something wrong, then why were you claiming to be so happy?

“I don’t understand...” He prompted you to go on.

You let go of his hands, bringing yours to the sides of his face. He felt a rush of cold flutter through him, but he didn’t care. He was loving the way you were looking at him.

“All those others...I couldn’t love them. I tried so hard to. I did everything that I thought I could to make myself fall in love with one of them, but I never could. I was so angry at myself, because I couldn’t figure out why. But then...it just hit me,” You spoke, Rafael’s lungs weren’t taking in any air as he waited for you to continue; “It was always you.”

The coldness surging through him from your hands converted into a warmth. He was hot all over as his head tried to process what you were saying. His heart, though, got the message much quicker and spoke for him.

“You love me?” He breathed finally.

You nodded again, yet another round of tears flowing from your eyes. His hands were wrapped around your wrists, not letting you remove your hold from his face.

“Undeniably. It’s taken me forever to see. I was so blind to what was right in front of me the whole time,” You described; “You’re the one I’m supposed to love.”

You knew he loved you. Why else would he be around so much? Why didn’t he ever make an attempt to be with anyone else?

He felt like he was getting smacked with an incomprehensible amount of feelings at once. His heart was soaring for joy, his head was scrambling for what to say, but his lips seemed to have made up their mind. He crashed into yours, passionate and needy kisses were exchanged. He had never imagined in a million years that it would play out this way.

He thought about how every decision he had ever made in his life led him to this moment. If he had made one menial different choice, would this have never happened? Either way, he was glad for whatever choice brought him here. He always thought that he’d eventually come crawling to your doorstep pleading for a chance and begging for a shot at your love.

He never knew that he had it the entire time.

He pulled away first, forehead pressed against yours.

“I love you. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you.” He said, catching his breath.

“I do know. I just hate it took me so long... I just-” You said, feeling a twinge of guilt when he cut you off.

He shook his head, not even caring that the front of his shirt was splotched with water.

“Shh. No, don’t think about that. That doesn’t matter now.” He replied.

You smiled softly, kissing him again. Nothing felt real, but everything felt real at the same time. It was a weird, amazing feeling. You couldn’t pinpoint how this moment felt, other than indescribable bliss.

“Are you saying you want to spend forever with me?” You laughed as he wiped away your tears.

He answered immediately, not missing a beat.

“Forever and more.”

A new sense of solace was overtaking him now. It was a feeling of pure satisfaction as he felt that last puzzle piece of his life click into place. His picture was finished. He always said that he would know the moment that his life really began.

That moment was now.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x female reader #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order barba #detectivesvu

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electrictoes · 3 years

Text

Light the Dark

For @dailysvu‘s Sonny Carisi Appreciation Week

Prompt: Day 6: Nightmare

When Sonny is eight he starts getting a recurring nightmare. It’s an awful, twisted memory of the summer just gone by.

The dream starts just like his memory. They’re at the beach. Mama left Teresa in charge while she went back to their rented beach house to start cooking dinner; Daddy - Dad, Sonny corrects himself in his memory, he’s not a baby anymore - has gone into town to get their fourth of July fireworks; Sonny had asked to go with him but Dad said he had to look after your sisters, Junior.

Teresa isn’t doing a very good job of being in charge; she’s sunbathing with one eye open so she can check if the lifeguard is watching her. The lifeguard isn’t watching Teresa because he’s watching two older girls sunbathing up the beach, but since Teresa’s about to start high school she doesn’t much listen to anything Sonny has to say. She calls him Dominick like Sonny is a baby name and tells him to go away.

Gina’s made friends with some other kids. She does that everywhere they go; she's playing volleyball and ignoring her brother and sisters. And so it’s just Sonny and Bella.

The problem is Bella can’t swim. She thinks she can but she’s no good at it. Dad says she’s gonna have to learn because they live on an island, but Mama says it doesn’t really count. In Sonny’s real memory when Bella runs into the sea and gets caught in a wave he’s quick - he swims right out after her because the lifeguard is still not watching the ocean, and he swallows so much water he’s still coughing it up hours later, but he manages to grab hold of Bella before she goes under the water - and the bigger kids Gina's been playing with see them, and they swim out to help them back to shore. Teresa yells at Sonny and Bella, and then Mama yells at Teresa, and then Dad yells at everyone.

In his real memory he wakes up in the middle of the night and his chest still feels tight from all the coughing, but when he opens his eyes and looks across the little room he’s sharing with Bella, she’s fast asleep with her bunny rabbit tucked up under her head and he knows she’s okay.

That’s not what happens in the nightmare.

In the nightmare when the wave gets Bella he’s not quick enough. There aren’t any bigger kids nearby and he sees Bella slip under the water before he can reach her. In the nightmare he tries to get to her but everything goes black, and cold, and he can feel hands on his legs dragging him down, down, down into the water.

When he wakes up he screams. Screams loud enough to wake the whole house up and the first time it happens Dad comes running in with a baseball bat like he’s going to beat Sonny’s nightmare with it. Mama’s right behind him, and when Dad drops the bat she pushes past him, sitting on Sonny’s bed and brushing his sweat soaked hair back from his forehead. She kisses him and asks him what happened while Dad sends the girls back to bed.

He doesn’t stop getting the nightmare for almost a full year - a year of his parents whispering things like therapy when they think he’s not listening, of Mama soothing his tears and kissing his hair, of Dad telling him it’s time to grow up a little, and Gina saying he’s too old to be this dumb. Dad only lets him get in their bed the first couple of times - after that he says Sonny’s got to learn to manage. Sometimes when he wakes up from the nightmare he sneaks across the hall to remind himself that Bella’s okay, and if she spies him she’ll creep past Gina’s bed to give him a hug. She tells him he’s the best big brother in the world and he swells with pride every time, even though Bella only has one big brother so she wouldn’t know any different.

He gets the nightmare occasionally for the next couple of years, but as the memory of that day at the beach fades, so do the dreams; by the time he’s in middle school he’s stopped getting nightmares altogether. At least until Bobby Bianchi decides to use his head as a wrecking ball.

The cuts and bruises heal much faster than the rest of him. He has nightmares about Bobby Bianchi for far longer than he ever had nightmares about that day at the beach. Sometimes the two nightmares combine and the hands that are dragging Sonny down to the ocean floor belong to Bobby; the cruel way he’d laughed as Sonny fell to the ground echoing in his ears.

His father had been so disappointed in the aftermath of the window incident that Sonny doesn’t dare tell him about the nightmares. He doesn’t tell his mom either, because she was already so worried about him, had struggled to hold back tears as she helped clean his blood away. He doesn’t tell anyone - not even Bella - because the first time he’s ripped from sleep by the nightmare he can hear his parents talking quietly downstairs - he tiptoes down carefully, just wanting the comfort of seeing his mom even though he’s too old to ask for a hug, for her to tuck him back into bed.

He stops three steps from the bottom of the stairs when he hears his name, and he listens with his fists clenched, his bottom lip between his teeth. “He’s too sensitive,” Dad is saying, “That’s why these kids pick on him.”

“Dominick, that’s not fair,” Mom says back in a hushed whisper, “We raised him to be a good kid, a sweet, kind child. That doesn’t mean that-” he hears his mother choke on her words, can tell that she’s crying, and he takes a guilty step back up the stairs, shuffling away but staying in earshot as his father comforts her.

“He’s gonna be just fine,” his dad says, “But we’ve gotta toughen him up a bit. It’s my fault, three sisters, I should’ve seen this coming. I’ll speak with him.”

Sonny slips back into his own bed and holds his anxieties in, keeps his nightmares to himself.

Two days later his dad sits him down - man to man - and talks to him about toughening up a little, growing a thicker skin. He asks again who pushed Sonny through the window and Sonny knows he’s disappointed when he doesn’t get an answer. He swallows down his fear, his discomfort, and tells his father he’ll handle it. It’s years before they’re back on the same page again.

When the nightmares come he holds back screams, buries his tears in his pillow as he cries himself to sleep. His mother frets - thinks he’s not sleeping enough, staying up too late - he’s not eating properly, she says, shuffling him into the kitchen, making him stand by her side as she prepares spaghetti sauce and meatballs and a dozen other recipes he commits to memory watching her hands move, waiting for her to shove a plate in front of him to reassure herself she’s doing something to help.

After a time, much like before, the nightmares trickle away. Never entirely, though. It’s long after middle school that he stops dreaming about Bobby Bianchi - though the nightmares don’t bite at his adult self in the same way, he’s still thrown awake well into his college years, that laughter ringing in his ears.

Becoming a police officer, then a detective, he sees things. Sometimes he sees the worst of humanity and it can leave him fraught, on edge. He’s worked hard at setting his emotions aside at the end of the day, but there are some sights you can’t unsee, and some images that won’t leave his head. When he closes his eyes at night there are cases that haunt him, that have him waking up in a cold sweat and struggling to catch his breath.

Early on he gets a domestic disturbance call that he’ll remember for the rest of his life - Ellen Carter’s face lingers in his mind, the way he had tried to persuade her to get out of that house, leave her husband. The way she looked, blooded and beaten, her skull smashed in and her body slumped over by the wall. He wakes up every night for a week with the image of her eyes in his head and he has to shake himself, roll over and try and get back to sleep. His sergeant tells him he looks like hell, that whatever’s going on in his personal life he can’t bring it to work with him. It’s like he’s desensitised, and Sonny will take the dark nights over that any day.

He makes detective and he works homicide. It’s worse. There’s not just one Ellen Carter, there’s dozens. It gets harder and harder and though he doesn’t have any one recurring nightmare, he never goes long between episodes of waking up and remembering their faces.

So he moves to SVU - he wants to make a difference before it’s too late. But SVU brings its own dark cases, it’s own haunting images. It’s at SVU that he starts to pick up real nightmares again, not just flickering images. The cases and the heartbreak, they still get him, but it’s his own experiences that follow him into his dreams.

He takes Mike Dodds’ death hard and it’s the first time in years that he’s had the kind of nightmares that dig deep into his consciousness. He replays his imagined memory of the scene in his head - the way Mike got shot, how he faded from life; and some nights it isn’t Mike - some nights Sonny’s the one who got shot and he’s lying bleeding on the ground and plunged into darkness, unseen hands grasping at him. Those nightmares are hard - but the kind that leave him biting back a scream are the nightmares where Mike is replaced with someone else - with Fin, or Olivia, or Amanda, and those dreams having him clawing at his bedsheets, grabbing at his phone on the nightstand, his thumb inches away from calling to check in - to reassure himself that they’re okay.

He only make a call once, and only because he has a text from Amanda sent thirty minutes before - Jesse’s cutting a new tooth and it’s keeping both her and Amanda awake. He’s breathless when he greets her, enough that she catches it even over the phone.

“Carisi? Where are you?”

“In bed,” he says, sitting upright, a hand in his damp hair, heart still hammering in his chest.

Amanda’s suspicious, and he’d laugh if he wasn’t already so off-kilter, “Why are you calling me from your bed?”

“I- I can’t sleep,” he admits.

“Are you okay?”

There’s something about the way her tone shifts - something about Amanda Rollins in general - that makes it easy for him to tell her. Maybe in person he would hold back a little more, but she can’t see his face and he’s still shaking, “I- not really. I’ve been havin’-”

“Nightmares?” she finishes, her voice soft down the line. It’s the first time since he was nine years old that he’s let someone else into this part of his life. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah,” he says, and he means it - just knowing he’s told her is soothing in itself, “I just- wanted to know you an’ Jesse were okay.”

She hums down the phone, offers to distract him, and he falls asleep sometime later to the sound of Amanda settling Jesse. He sleeps through the rest of the night. The dreams don’t go away altogether, but they fade with time.

When Tom Cole puts a gun to Sonny’s head it ends with him dead on the floor, Sonny spattered with his blood, and he keeps it together. In the dark of his bedroom hours later he awakes choking with fear. He had thought his number was up, and that feeling doesn’t go away, not for months.

There are other incidents, too - when Tom Williams falls to his death before Sonny can pull him back over the railings, when Jules Hunter is killed in a deliberate car crash - case after case, victim after victim. Things that happen to his friends and colleagues too - when Barba gets death threats, when Noah is kidnapped, when Liv is held hostage, and when Bucci takes Amanda. He puts so much energy into moving on, focusing on other things, that it’s only natural the thoughts he doesn’t process creep into his dreams.

He handles it though - the dreams never become what they were when he was a child, never take over his sleep every night. He doesn’t need to be comforted, has learned to shrug them off and go back to sleep. He almost always only gets those kind of dreams when he is alone, and on the rare occasions there is another body beside him in his bed when he sits bolt upright, shaking with terror, he always downplays it - a bad dream, something that happened on a case once. Nothing to worry about.

It’s almost cruel that his old dream comes back to haunt him just as his waking life becomes everything he’s wanted it to be for so long. The first time he startles awake in Amanda’s bed he hopes it’s a fluke - just one of those days something in his subconscious has triggered this old memory. When Amanda blinks up at him, he tells her he’s fine - says he woke up with heartburn though he knows she doesn’t believe him. He doesn’t want to tell her what happened in his dream - the way it wasn’t Bella being swept under the waves, but Jesse. The way it wasn’t him being dragged down but Amanda.

After the third night in a row of the old nightmare twisting - this time it’s Billie being caught in the waves, Sonny unable to catch her in time - the third night of Amanda catching him awake, a new excuse on his tongue each time - a distraction in the form of his mouth on hers, his hands sliding beneath the blankets; losing himself in her at the same time he steers her away from what had woken him - Sonny decides to sleep alone, to go back to his own apartment and hope this string of nightmares run their course.

It doesn’t help. Two nights without Amanda and he’s had even less sleep than the three previous.

She frowns at him over his office desk as she hands him a coffee, and she takes the seat opposite without him offering. “Alright, Counsellor, what’s going on?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Are you gonna come home with me tonight?” she asks, leading him into the conversation.

He shrugs, “I don’t know, I- I got a lot to catch up on.”

“I’d say you were avoiding me,” she says, leaning forward on his desk, “But I don’t think that’s it.”

He shakes his head, “Never.”

“So if it’s not me, then what? The girls?”

“No,” he insists, surprised she’d even suggest it, “I thought you might want some space.”

“And instead of asking me you go home alone and what - lie awake all night? Because you look like you haven’t slept in a minute,” she reaches across the table, curling her fingers around his, “Carisi, what is it?”

“I’ve just been- I didn’t wanna keep wakin’ you up.”

“You know,” she says, her thumb rubbing back and forth across his hand, “I get nightmares too.”

He sighs, hesitating before telling her the whole story, starting with his original nightmare and talking her through his recent dreams - the conversation takes far longer than either of their lunch breaks should have, but once he starts talking he can’t seem to stop, after holding all of this in for as long as he has.

The nightmares don’t just stop. Being in love with Amanda Rollins makes almost all of Sonny’s life a little brighter, brings a little more light into his days and his nights, but love isn’t a cure all and childhood night terrors don’t go away just because your days are filled with happiness - with sleepy morning kisses, children giggling over breakfast, and sneaking coffee breaks together - with Amanda’s head against his chest on the couch, the way Jesse has started to copy the things he says while they cook, and the times Billie falls asleep on his knee before he’s even halfway through her bedtime story - the nights still grow dark.

The difference now - the difference from every nightmare he’s had since he was nine years old - is that when he wakes gasping into the night, unwanted images assaulting his dreams and corrupting his memories, there’s a soft voice in his ear, and arms curled around him; there are reassurances and promises and hands holding his.

His nightmares slip away after a few weeks - not gone forever, but they become less frequent, less draining. Amanda gets nightmares too - he soothes her through them just as tenderly as she does for him. They’ve both seen things. They both have memories they wish they didn’t. But they have each other.

#carisi week #svu #svu fic #rollisi fic #rollisi #sonny carisi #my fic

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thatesqcrush · 3 years

Text

Voire Dire, Pt. 2

Rafael Barba x Reader. Warnings: heavy kissing/touching, some language. WC: 4,072. Episode References: 19x13 & 22x04.

A certified workaholic, Rafael had little to no time for any kind of romantic relationships. His last one, with Yelina, years prior, ended badly. It was during that relationship he had expressed deep feelings and she rebuked him, using him as a stepping stone to his former friend, Alex Muñoz. That was not to say he was celibate; he had needs - desires; and he bid his time with men and women who also exhibited similar interests. They warmed the bed, but never the heart. It was just easier to focus on work - work required no emotion.

Rafael found his mind wandering as the cab took him home. He was drawn to you the moment he stepped through the 8th floor doors where all the junior ADAs were working. He recalled when he sat in a similar room, in Brooklyn, before he made his way up the ladder. Things were so much easier then, even if he didn't recognize it at the time. The world was an old movie: all black and white and it was high noon. He was Gary Cooper and absolutely sure absolutely who were the good guys, who were the bad guys.

The kiss replayed in his mind like an endless looping device. You had bright, lush lips that he was pretty sure were designed to drive anyone of any orientation mad. When you had kissed him, it certainly took him by surprise - a wonderful surprise. He allowed himself to relish in the taste of your kiss - the invitation you gave when you moaned and opened your mouth more, so he could slide his tongue into your mouth.

For the briefest of moments, he ignored the rational part of his brain. All cares were thrown into the wind. And then his moral compass, which was spinning and spinning and spinning, came to a sudden stop as it dawned on him that you had been drinking.

The kiss - was an impulse born out of your drunken stupor. He hadn’t missed however, the look of disappointment on your face when he broke the kiss and stated he should not have done that.

When he finally made it back to his apartment, he found himself unable to wind down. The mind of the prosecutor now turned defense lawyer, was racing with a million thoughts at once. Despite the busyness of his mind, there was one thing that he was sure of.

Kissing you was tantalizing. And he wanted to do it again.

He changed into burgundy sweatpants and his old ratted Harvard shirt and poured himself a night cap. He was certain your email was like his when he was there: first name (dot) last name (at) manhattanda (dot) org. Ever the perfectionist, he opened his email and looked up the D.A. 's office's website. Sure enough, there was your contact information (and he was right about your email).

The plan seemed simple enough: first, apologize once more for doing anything without your explicit consent; second: ask for a do-over but he didn’t want you to feel any kind of pressure. Nor did he expect you to acquiesce - and that if he did indeed overreach, it was noted and he would keep things completely professional.

He hovered over the send button for longer than he would have anticipated. Finishing his drink, he took a deep breath and hit send. And then went to bed feeling antsy - like a child the night before their birthday.

The sun shone brightly the next morning, filtering through the partially open shades. Rafael groaned as he stretched, with his back and shoulders making a cracking sound as the bubbles burst in the synovial fluid around his joints. It was simultaneously satisfying and a reminder of his age.

The coffee maker beeped, signaling it was done brewing. Rafael made way to the bathroom to take care of his morning ablutions. He helped himself to coffee and then sat back in bed to read the paper on his iPad and get caught up on the latest happenings while he was asleep.

For a moment, he forgot about his email to you. He opened his inbox, mentally gearing himself for an email from you rebuking him, or worse, no response at all.

His normally steel stomach flipped when he saw there was an email.

Rafael, you have nothing to apologize for. I would love a do-over. Name the place/time, and I’ll meet you. My phone # is 718-371-5952. -Y/N

Rafael looked at the timestamp on the reply. You were up early. He scratched his beard and wondered if it was too early to text.

‘It’s too early to text Rafael, coño.’ He chastised himself. ‘Es muy temprano; después. Ya no eres un hombre joven; necesitas relajarte.

You were distracted at work. You couldn’t focus one bit. You tried to immerse yourself with work, but you were anxious. You kept checking your phone to see if Rafael had texted you. Groaning, you took your phone and threw it into your drawer. You opened a new browser window when Marjorie strolled in. She had black oversized glasses and a hoodie. In her hands were two coffee cups and a brown paper bag.

You were relieved when you saw her - talking with her would help keep your anxieties at bay.

You stood and turned the corner of your desk and hopped on Marjorie’s desk.

“Morning!” You replied cheerfully.

Marjorie groaned. “Why are you so loud? Why is it so bright in here?” You reached for a coffee and she protested, reaching for it. You held it back, smirking.

“Someone had a bit much I suppose? Woke up full of regret for poor life choices?”

Marjorie took off her sunglasses. “Yes.” She hissed. “You had a lot to drink too; why are you so chipper? Did you get laid or something?”

You paused and it was a long enough of a pause for her to jump all over it. “Oh my fuck, who? Spill. Carisi?”

You barked out a laugh before taking a sip of the piping hot coffee. “No. God knows I love him, but not like that.” You narrowed your eyes and leaned down to whisper, scanning the office.

“Um - what are you doing? We’re the only ones here working today.” Marjorie cocked her brow in response.

“This place leaks like a sieve, Marj - you know that.” You warned. “Can’t be too careful.”

Marjorie sighed and put on her sunglasses once more. “Sorry, it’s too bright. Still too drunk.”

You shook your head. “Um. It was Barba.”

“You fucked Barba!” Marjorie shrieked loudly.

“Would you lower your voice?” You replied sternly. “No. I did not sleep with him. But we did kiss. And he sorta asked me out.”

“Holy crap on a cracker.” Marjorie replied, astounded by the news. She opened the other coffee and pushed the brown paper bag towards you. “Bear claws. So how was it? Is he as silver tongued as he is in the courtroom?”

Your cheeks burned as you replayed the kiss in your mind - how his tongue followed yours, deepening the kiss. It was full of enthusiasm and how he pulled you against him, his body solid and warm. If you tried hard enough, you could still taste the mix of scotch and coffee that was his kiss. “He was very… ” You trailed off slowly, trying to search for the right word. “... passionate. Yes, very passionate. Knows what he’s doing.”

Marjorie tipped her coffee at you. “Well then.”

When Rafael did eventually text you, he suggested a restaurant in the NoLiTa section of Manhattan. He insisted on meeting you at your place, as to him, it was the proper thing to do. You declined, insisting that a boomerang trip was uneccessary and that you’d meet him at the location. From the sidewalk on East Houston Street, under a grimy red awning that appeared to belong to a fading pizza parlor, Emilio’s Ballato didn’t look like much.

Rafael waited outside for you, rubbing his gloved hands together and when you crossed the street, he smiled. He had planned the whole night to a tee and it was going to be perfect. Rafael would settle for nothing less.

You kissed each other on the cheek and then took his hand. On the walls were framed album covers and snapshots of various stars, from stalwarts like David Bowie and Billy Joel to the titans of film, like Frank Sinatra and Martin Scorsese.

“Mr. Barba!” A voice cried out. You looked and the voice belonged to a hulking minotaur of a man who was sitting like a wary sentry at the first table. He was armed with a cup of espresso that looked like a thimble in the paws of a giant.

“Emilio!” Rafael greeted in return. The two men broke into Italian and you cocked your brow. You had no idea what they were saying and when ‘Emilio’ looked past Rafael and to you, you waved with a small smile.

“Come this way. I have a table in the back - more private.” Emilio replied in a thick Italian accent. “Welcome to my restaurant. We will make sure you’re taken care of.”

A waiter came by to take your coats and winter wear. As you shimmied off your coat, Rafael found his mouth suddenly go dry. You wore a blue velvet wrap dress with long sleeves and v-neckline. Black tights and black knee high boots rounded out the look.

“You look stunning.” Rafael complimented as he handed his camel peacoat over.

You felt your cheeks burn and you were grateful for the dimmed recessed lighting. Rafael looked equally as handsome in charcoal slacks and a white button down fitted with a navy suit jacket.

“Thank you counselor, likewise.” You replied. Rafael was ever the gentleman, helping you to your seat first before taking his place across from you. Soft jazz music played, but not so loudly as to be interruptive to conversation. The two of you were just settling in when Rafael’s phone rang loudly. Rafael reached for his phone, looked at the caller and sent the call to voicemail.

Rafael apologized for the interruption and you waved your hand, while shaking your head. “No worries.”

Another waiter came by, with a bottle of red wine, compliments of the house.

“So what “in” do you have in this place?” You asked as you took a sip of the wine.

“Emilio - back in the day when I was an A.D.A, had a family member who was assaulted. I was the prosecutor on the case. I put away a violent sociopath and rapist for a very long time. Emilio told me I was always welcome to the restaurant. I - I never really had anyone to bring here.” Rafael replied.

“Until now.” You finished, chewing on a sesame breadstick.

“Until you.” Rafael clarified, causing your heart to flutter.

Over dinner, you got to know each other better. You discussed how you ended up on the lawyer track and how you were study buddies with Carisi and Marjorie.

He shared his fascination with The Waves by Virginia Woolf and The Count of Monte Cristo. Rafael went into passionate detail for the French literary classic by Dumas, recounting "This is the first book I remember my father giving me to read. It was my favorite book growing up. It's an easy read. I was a boy in middle school. I fell in love with the world and the drama of it. What’s your favorite novel?”

Again, Rafael’s phone rang, interrupting. Rafael let out a quiet swear as he reached for his phone. “I swear, I put it on vibrate.”

“Someone’s mighty popular.” You gave him a wink as you reached for your glass of wine.

Rafael blinked and let out a deep exhalation. “So you were going to tell me about your favorite novel.”

Rafael reached for your hand across the table and you were about to grasp it, when the waiter arrived to serve dinner. You jumped back slightly as the food was placed before you. Rafael had pasta with mussels, while you had pasta cacio e pepe.

Picking up your fork, you nodded. “Love in the Time of Cholera. Florentino Ariza suffers from lovesickness as one would suffer from cholera, enduring both physical and emotional pains as he longs for Fermina Daza.”

Rafael cocked his brow. “For my taste, there are too many long passages of exposition with Garcia Marquez explaining what the characters are going through. But as easy as the story is to follow, and as seductive as it is, it never gives away what is really going on.”

You scoffed. “So I suppose you don’t believe love conquers all?”

Rafael gave you a coy smile. “In the end we’re all passing through.” You laughed and it was music to his ears.

More wine was had and conversation flowed easily. Emilio insisted that you both stay for dessert. At some point, your chair shifted and you were sitting right next to Rafael as you split vanilla panna cotta. Rafael’s eyes shifted from your eyes to your lips as you licked the spoon clean. You put the spoon down and could feel the sexual tension rising. As soon as you reached for him, you accidentally knocked over your glass of red wine, and it spilled in the direction of Rafael, all over his white shirt.

“Oh fuck, I am so sorry.” You apologized profusely as you frantically dabbed at his shirt with the cloth napkin.

“It’s okay; it’s just clothing.” Rafael replied as he too blotted the stain.

“It’s not.” You disagreed. “Here I am, trying to make a good impression, ya know, be all charming and sexy for you - the Rafael Barba - and instead I am a klutz. Ugh, that is going to set if we don’t take care of it.”

“Did you say sexy?” Rafael questioned, a smile dancing on his lips.

You opened your mouth to reply when Rafael’s phone rang again interrupting your thoughts. Rafael threw the napkin on the table, letting out an irritated sigh. When he saw the name, he held up a finger. “Let me just answer this.”

“Liv, what is-- yes now is not a good time.” Rafael hissed into the phone. “Tomorrow. That’s all I got. Okay. Okay. Talk then.”

Rafael tossed his phone onto the table and threw his head back, rubbing his hands over his face.” When he sat up, he noticed the bemused look on your face. You reached up and began dabbing his shirt once more.

“It’s really not a big deal.” Rafael replied softly. He grabbed your wrists gently, pausing your movements. His hands were warm and they circled your wrists easily.

You allowed yourself to relax in his grasp and crinkled your nose. “It really is going to set. We should go and clean it. Otherwise it’s ruined. And this shirt is nice; it’d be a shame for it to get tossed.”

“At this hour? And where?” Rafael replied incredulously as he signaled the waiter for the check.

“We… could go to your place.” You suggested softly. “I am pretty good with stains. Just need some salt, boiling water, and white vinegar.”

Stunned silence followed - it was brief, but it felt like an eternity when he spoke again. “Sure.”

It didn’t take long to get to Rafael’s. “I am so sorry again.” You apologized as you stepped off the elevator.

“Accidents happen.” Rafael replied as he led you down the hall to his apartment. If anyone had told you that you would be on a date with Rafael Barba, you would have laughed in their face and asked them for some of the good stuff that they were smoking. But here you, in front of a rather ordinary door marked 6C. Once inside, Rafael turned on the light and you took in the apartment before you. It was freakishly spotless and you wondered if you had entered a living ad for Architectural Digest. The apartment was sleek and modern but carried a warm ambiance. Colorful artwork hung off the walls and there was a built in walled library filled with all sorts of legal texts and what appeared to be vinyls. His apartment smelled like a mixture of leather and tobacco and books plus whatever cologne he had donned.

“I’ll go get changed.” Rafael replied. “The kitchen is over that way and there is vinegar and salt in the cupboards. You nodded and made way, rummaging through his kitchen. His cupboards were as meticulous as his apartment and you smiled at the things that you found as you searched for the items you needed to clean the stain, like a box of peanut butter cap ‘n’ crunch.

You found the salt and vinegar when Rafael came back with his ruined clothes. He had changed into another undershirt and a pair of dark jeans. You felt the air get sucked out of his chest at the sight of him so casual. A tuft of chest hair poked out of the v-neckline and a gold chain glinted in the light. You took the clothes and spread them out on his kitchen counter and set to work.

“Want anything to drink?” Rafael asked.

“Water would be nice.” You managed to squeak out before you tackled the stains. Rafael watched you as you methodically worked out the stains. Your brows were furrowed in concentration and he found you adorable.

Rafael placed a small glass of water by you and then walked over to his music collection before choosing a record to play. The all too familiar instrumental notes of one of your favorite songs began to play.

“Is that--?” You paused, looking at him curiously.

“Vitamin String Quartet.” Rafael expanded. “Lana del Rey.”

“Never had you pegged as a Lana del Rey fan.” You murmured continuing to work on the stain.

“Plato said that music is moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.” Rafael stated. “I have a very eclectic taste in music and if you go through my collection, you’ll find everything from Biggie to Celia Cruz to Lana del Rey to Prince - and everything else in between.”

“Impressive.” You replied.

“And what would you have me pegged as?” Rafael prodded. He had also poured himself a glass of water.

You stopped and looked up at him. You were overwhelmed by how handsome he is. Eyes that were biscay green and a strong aquiline nose. His hair, now bordering on more silver, than salt and pepper, made your hands twitch, as if your muscles instinctively wanted to run through it. You licked your lips and sucked in your bottom lip. You didn’t miss how his eyes darkened.

“You’re the infamous Rafael Barba. Boy wonder. Taking on cases that everyone ducks with your big, brass…” Rafael’s eyebrow cocks and you smirk as you finish, “ego.”

“And baby killer.” Rafael interjected. His tone was acidic.

You flinched. “You’re not a baby killer.”

Rafael cocked his head. “Aren’t I?”

“Depends on the jury.” You replied, walking over to him, crossing your arms, which only served to push up your tits more. “But really, I don’t think of you like that. I know there is more to a person than just that one thing.”

“Not according to the court of public opinion.” Rafael managed to croak as his eyes drifted to your chest. “There is a reason I have kept a low profile all this time.”

You closed the gap between you and him and pressed your palms against his chest. He was solid and warm. You could feel his pectoral muscles twitch. A spark shot through your body, settling between your legs.

Rafael’s hands settled on your hips. The velvet of your dress was softer than he imagined and he could picture the dress pooling down at your feet. Part of him wished that the date had gone better. It did not go as well as he had planned.

“I’m sorry for tonight.” Rafael murmured as he wrapped his arms loosely around your hips. “This was not what I had planned for us at all.”

“I’m not.” You replied, looking up at him. You now wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing even closer against him. “I don’t need fancy dinners. I am just happy to spend time with you. I really had a good time. I am sorry about the shirt, but it seems all fine now.”

Rafael searched your eyes. The tension in the room shifted. Your heart began to pound and your breathing became more shallow.

“I… the stain… it’s lifted.” You whispered shakily. Rafael lowered his eyes to your lips and recalled how good it felt to kiss them. He wanted to do it again. So he did. You didn’t hold back, moaning as his mouth crashed against yours. He pressed his mouth against yours with more force, crushing them. He took the opportunity to trace his tongue against the seam of your lips, seeking entrance to your mouth. You acquiesced his request by parting your lips, and he deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into your mouth. You responded in turn by pulling his bottom lip, sucking and nipping. His chest rumbled. Rafael lifted you up, his hands going to your thighs, encouraging you to wrap your feet around his hips.

Rafael carried you to the couch, walking backwards until he felt the couch and threw himself down, bringing you with him. You let out a squeak but that turned into another moan as his lips found purchase along your neck and he took the opportunity to suck a bruising mark into your skin.

Your nipples were hard like diamonds and the strip of material that dared call itself underwear was ruined. Rafael’s hands slid down your back to your ass and he gave each cheek a squeeze.

You rolled your hips, feeling how hard he was beneath you and then slid your hands under his shirt and through his chest hair, confirming how solid he was. You raked your nails down his chest and Rafael let out a groan of a man who had been denied too long. “Oh Rafael.” You breathed into his ear as you pressed kisses upwards along his neck to his cheek and then to his earlobe where you sucked and flicked your tongue against the thin flesh.

“Keep that up and I’ll…” Rafael groaned. His hands move to the front of your dress squeezing. You pulled away reluctantly and looked into his eyes, which were blown with lust.

“So soon old man?” You winked. “We’re just getting started.”

“I am not that old.” Rafael retorted.

“Even if you were - which you’re not, it wouldn’t stop me.” You replied before ducking down to kiss him once more. You rolled your hips again, grinding harder against him. You took his hands and placed them on your breasts, sighing as he squeezed them. His fingers moved to play with your nipples and when he gave them a firm but gentle pinch, you couldn't help but shudder. You were melting under his touch.

You were just about to tell him to take you to bed so you could ride him into next week, when your phone began to sound.

“I should get that.” You replied, giving him an apologetic look.

You climbed off and Rafael let out another groan, his eyes laser focused on your ass as you walked away. “Mierda.”

“It’s SVU. They need me to come down.” You replied as you checked your phone.

Rafael let out a deep sigh. “Do you want me to come down with you?”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

“It’s late Y/N, let me at least walk you over to the precinct. It’s a few blocks away.”

“Okay.” You relented.

The walk over was quick. You got to the steps of the precinct and looked up at the door and then at him. “Raincheck?”

Rafael nodded. “Raincheck.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips and then you bounded up the stairs, turning to give him a quick wave. Rafael watched you until you were gone. He dropped his head as he began to trek back home.

‘What a fucking disaster.’ He thought miserably. He looked at his hands before he shoved them in his pockets. ‘I guess it's just us for tonight.’

TBC.

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#rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba fanfiction

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teamhappyme · 3 years

Text

peonies

pairing: sonny carisi x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

warnings: none

a/n: happy valentine’s day my friends!!! here is a cute lil Carisi fic that made me feel a lil less blah today. i love and appreciate you all so so much!

****

“Liv, I’m gonna bring these witness statements to Carisi before I head out. You need me to drop off anything else?”

“Nope, just those statements for him. And thank you for dropping them off, y/n. I can get home and spend some of the day with Noah.” You saw her put the chocolate heart in her bag, along with the dog stuffed animal she picked up from a vendor earlier today.

“He’s gonna love that dog.” You commented, and she looked up and smiled.

“I hope so. And hopefully it will put off the argument for getting a real dog a little longer.”

You laughed, knowing how much every little kid wants a dog. But stuffed animals were always a good second.

The two of you walked out of the precinct together, both surprised that you were getting out of here while the sun was still out.

“Tell Noah I said Happy Valentine’s Day. I owe him and the Rollins girls an ice cream date.”

She smiled. “I will. Have a good night, y/n.”

The walk to the courthouse was cold, and you passed by at least a dozen vendors with Valentine’s day themed food and goodies. You made it almost the whole walk without caving and buying something for yourself, but the cute little puppy on the styrofoam hot chocolate cup was calling your name.

And of course you bought one for Carisi too.

You made your way through the maze that is the DA’s office, finally making your way into Carisi’s small office. But the ADA in question was nowhere to be found.

You placed the hot chocolate on his desk, smiling as you saw drawings from Jesse and Billie taped to the file cabinet, Jesse’s little ‘Uncle Sonny’ handwriting too cute to handle. He’d only been moved into the office for a few weeks, and it looked like he was finally settled in. You heard the horror stories of having to move out the copy machines, but it all seemed worth it.

He had his degrees hanging on the wall, along with a quote from the declaration of independence, because this man lived and breathed the law.

You turned to walk back to the chairs, when a picture frame on his desk caught your eye. You’d seen the one of his beautiful goddaughter’s Billie and Jesse, and knew there were a few of the giant Carisi clan scattered around.

But this one was in a clean black frame, and you had to do a double take to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

It was you in the picture frame.

Actually, it was you and Sonny in the frame, laughing uncontrollably with disco lights in the background.

You recognized the venue immediately, it was the indoor roller rink from Noah’s fifth birthday party. You hadn’t gone roller skating since you were a kid, and you were extremely apprehensive to get back on the skates. But Sonny convinced you to try again, sticking to your side the entire time.

The picture in question was after you had slipped. You were preparing to meet the floor in a painful thud, instead you felt two arms wrap around you, keeping you close and still on two feet. It was Sonny.

You didn’t know this picture even existed, otherwise you would’ve gotten your hands on it pretty quick. You couldn’t help the smile spread across your face knowing that Sonny wanted it on his desk, to see your laughing faces everyday.

“Hey.” Your eyes snapped up to the doorway, Sonny standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Hey.” You stepped out from behind his desk, pulling the file he needed out of your backpack. “Um, I brought the witness statements for the Carson case. There’s quite a few here, so hopefully you can get some of them to testify.”

He took the file from your hands, placing it on his desk. “Thanks, I’m getting ready to prep with Hannah, so this will be helpful.”

“Good, that’s good.” You said while running a shaky hand through your hair.

You know he must have seen you looking at the picture of the two of you, and now you didn’t know what to say. He was carrying a bouquet of beautiful flowers on Valentine’s day; clearly he had some plans tonight.

“Those flowers are beautiful, you have a lucky Valentine tonight?” You asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between you.

He smiled, his turn now to run a hand through his quaffed hair. “They’re for you, actually.”

Your eyes widened, not expecting that to be his response.

“Liv texted me, gave me a warning that you were headed over. I would’ve been here when you got here, but I know you don’t like roses, and it took me four different shops to find pink and white peonies. Thought I was gonna have to fight the guy next to me for ‘em, but he grabbed the tulips instead.”

He extended the bouquet to you, and gently took the flowers into your own hands. You can’t believe he remembered your favorite flower. When did you even let that comment about roses slip out?

“Sonny, you didn’t have to get me flowers.” You commented, but couldn’t resist sticking your nose in to smell the fresh flowers.

He smiled, glad that you liked the flowers, while shrugging off his overcoat. “I wanted to. You’re working on Valentine’s day, just wanted to do something special for you.”

“Well this is definitely more than special. No one’s ever bought me a bouquet of my favorite flowers before. Not even someone who has a picture of me on their desk.”

You saw his cheeks turn red before he dipped his head toward the floor. “I figured you saw that.”

You placed the flowers down next to your bag, joining him behind his desk. You grabbed the picture as he finally brought his head up to look at you, a smile still resting on your face.

“I really like this picture. I’m just mad that you kept it to yourself, I would’ve loved to have a copy for my own desk.”

“I think I could get you a copy. But you’ll have to thank Dodds for the photography skills.” Of course it was Mike Dodds that withheld the image from you.

“I’ll be sure to send him a text.” You said and placed the image back on his desk. You just now noticed the files piling up on his desk, and spared a glance at your watch; it was only five oclock. He had a long night ahead of him. “Well, I won’t stand in the way of you and your important ADA work.”

“Y/n/n,” He grabbed your hand as you took a step away from him, and you turned to look back at him. “The files can wait ‘til tomorrow. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?”

You smiled. “Would I like to go to dinner with the only man who’s ever remembered my favorite flower?” He laughed as you gave his hand a squeeze. “I would love to, Sonny.”

You gathered your belongings, making sure there was enough room for you to carry the flowers in your hand. The two of you walked out of the courthouse together, the sun setting over one hogan place as you exited.

You were halfway down the steps when he stopped, reaching into his pocket to grab his phone. He started rambling about how it would be impossible to find a restaurant on Valentine’s day, how he was an awful planner, and now you’d have to wait in the cold for hours.

But all you could focus on was the way the sun was hitting him, covering him in an orange glow, his hair slightly fussed by the new york city breeze. He was beautiful, and you couldn’t let him stand there without letting him know.

He continued to ramble as you took a step toward him, complaining that you were going to end up eating hot dogs from a vendor.

“Dominick,” you said, and the sound of his real name leaving your lips got him to shut up.

You reached up, running a hand through his fussed hair in an attempt to straighten it out. Once you were satisfied with the outcome, you rested a hand on his chest, as his free hand found your waist. He smiled before leaning down, your lips meeting his in an incredibly sweet first kiss.

You pulled away after a few seconds, not wanting to cause a scene on the courthouse steps, and matched the smile that was still on his face.

“How do you feel about pizza for dinner?” He asked, his hand finding your own, linking your fingers together as you resumed walking down the steps. He gave your hand a squeeze, and you couldn’t help but look up and smile at him.

“Pizza and peonies, what more could a girl ask for?”

****

#sonny carisi x female!reader #sonny carisi fic #sonny carisi fanfiction #law and order svu #jules writes shit ??

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homerjacksons · 3 years

Text

Sonny Carisi Week Day 1: heartbeat Word Count: 2118 Pairing: Starisi Summary: Sonny is shot and Peter’s afraid of losing his constant AO3

Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

Everything seems to slow down, all sound fading away until all Peter can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears, loud, fast, urgent. He swears it stops for a second, a whole moment that drags on for ages as something wet hits his face, splatters his coat, and Sonny goes down in front of him.

—

Peter’s hesitant as he rests his hand against Sonny’s chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart. He doesn’t do this, he doesn’t kiss colleagues, friends, men he’s not dating, but God, he wants to kiss Sonny in this moment.

Sonny laughs, shy and sweet, ducking his head. “Can you feel that?”

“What?”

“How crazy my heart is going.”

Peter laughs and nods, relishing in the feel of it beneath his palm, full of life, full of passion, full of what he hopes is want and affection, too.

He meets Sonny's eyes, wide and dark and shining, and he knows he’ll never get tired of the feel of that heartbeat for as long as he lives.

“I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s alright with you,” Peter says, voice pitched low. He’s grateful for how steady it sounds when he feels anything but.

Sonny swallows, nodding as he’s already closing the distance. His lips press against Peter’s, tentative and hungry at once, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to ask for everything he wants.

Like he’s not sure Peter would give him absolutely anything he asked for.

As he cups Sonny’s jaw, deepening the kiss, he keeps one hand on his chest, tethered to his lifeline; Sonny’s heartbeat.

—

For a brief moment, he wonders if the heartbeat he can hear is Sonny’s and not his own, blinked out before Peter could even react to the vague memory of a gunshot.

But then it roars back to life, pounding painfully against his own ribs, and the rest of the world roars to life with it, too much noise and confusion as people scream and run and cry and armed officers unholster guns, spinning on the spot to see where the shot came from.

Peter’s knees hit the pavement hard as his fingers fly to Sonny’s neck, pressing down amongst the mess of blood.

Too much blood. Peter could see it draining from his face as he reached feebly for Peter’s hands.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Peter said, voice surprisingly firm and authoritative.

Sonny squeezed Peter’s wrist, and squeezed his eyes shut at the same time as he brought one of Peter’s hands down to his chest. For one painful moment, he couldn’t feel a heartbeat at all, but eventually he found it, weak against his palm, and he felt his own heart stutter in his chest.

“Look at me,” Peter ordered, but Sonny’s grip on his wrist went as limp as the rest of him, and Peter choked back a sob. “Look at me, dammit. Sonny. Look at me.”

—

It’s a while after Peter’s breathing has evened out and his heart rate has gone back down and he’s right on the edge of sleep, willing himself to find the strength to get up, to not fall asleep with Sonny’s hand in his hair, to not lean into the calm, the comfort that Sonny radiates and ruin their agreement, that he notices Sonny’s heart is still pounding hard and fast and loud against his ear.

He lifts his head to look at Sonny, suddenly wide awake and concerned. Sonny’s wide-eyed and staring at the ceiling, but he lowers his gaze and manages a soft smile, hand falling comfortably around Peter.

“You okay?” He asks cautiously, studying Sonny’s features.

“Course,” he replies easily, stretching out lazily, feigning nonchalance, but Peter knows him better than that.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He flops down beside Sonny and turns towards him, resting a hand on his chest, over his heart, feeling the erratic thump of its beat continue against his palm.

For a while, Sonny doesn’t speak, but eventually he closes a hand over Peters, screwing his eyes shut like he can’t bear to look at Peter, can’t bear to be seen.

“I want more,” he whispers into the dark. When Peter doesn’t respond, he adds, “Of you. Of this. I want more than casual.”

Peter can feel Sonny’s heart attempting to break free from his chest beneath his hand, and he can’t help but laugh, relief and affection flooding him in waves as he presses his face into the crook of Sonny’s neck.

Sonny sighs, pulling his hand back, but Peter just grabs for it again, pressing himself further into Sonny’s side, hooking a leg over him so he can’t escape the moment.

“I want that too.”

—

“Hey.”

Peter startles at the sound of Liv's voice cutting through the silence like a knife, harsh and unnecessary and borderline painful.

Instead of taking the seat beside him, she crouches down in front of him, taking his hands in hers as she forces eye contact.

He can see Sonny’s blood still caked into the beds of his fingernails and he feels bile rise to the back of his throat and he lets his eyes fall shut, swallowing the feeling back down.

“Why don’t you get some rest,” Liv suggests gently, running her thumb over his blood-stained hands.

He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut tighter before looking at her through bleary, unfocused eyes. “I need to be here.”

She nods, like she already knew that would be his answer, and offers him a small, sad smile.

He realises he ought to say something, to comfort her back. She cares about Sonny too, has known him longer than Peter has. But the words get lodged in the back of his throat and he can’t seem to push past it, so he gives up, tilting his head toward the ceiling.

He’s come apart in front of her once before. He doesn't much fancy doing it again.

“He’s gonna be okay,” she says in a voice made of steel, and he bites back the anger it ignites in him. It’s not her he’s angry at.

“Yeah,” he manages, voice strangled and hoarse, and he cringes at the sound of it.

She doesn’t try to speak again after that. She just takes a seat beside him, placing a coffee, a bottle of water and a granola bar on the empty seat on his other side, and settles in for the wait.

—

Peter startles awake, confused at first, before he realises Sonny’s sitting upright beside him, breathing ragged. He eases himself up, placing a gentle hand on Sonny’s arm, which Sonny flinches away from instinctively, brain still in danger mode from whatever he’d dreamed about, before relaxing into Peter’s touch with a shaky sigh.

“You wanna talk about it?” Peter asks gently, and Sonny shakes his head.

After a beat, a moment of hesitation, Peter sits behind Sonny, wrapping his arms around him, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding as Sonny rests back against his chest, body trembling.

“You’re okay,” Peter whispers, taking Sonny’s hand in one of his own, his other hand spreading across Sonny’s heart.

He can feel the erratic, panicked heartbeat beneath his hand as shivers run through Sonny’s body, and he sighs, resting his chin on Sonny’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

He repeats it in a whisper, like a mantra, holding Sonny close, feeling as his heart gradually slows to what he’s used to listening to in the mornings, in those pockets of time where it’s just them and neither of them have to be anywhere or do anything.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers again fiercely, long after Sonny’s fallen back asleep. “Always.”

—

Amanda and Fin join at some point, then Kat, then Phoebe and Celine, and eventually the waiting room is full of their makeshift family and beyond, officers he’s never even seen before standing by in solidarity for a man who they still consider family despite him trading a gun and badge for fancy shoes and a briefcase.

It catches him off guard and makes him feel out of place in a way he hasn’t for a long time, and he excuses himself, beelining for the bathroom, desperate for fresh air but not willing to go as far as the doors.

He takes a few, deep, steady breaths, splashing water on his face before gripping the sink in a vice grip.

“Peter?” He hears from outside, and his heart plummets to his stomach. “Olivia said you’d come this way. Are you okay?”

Peter bites back a laugh, bitterness rising in his throat again, this time tainted with guilt. Mrs Carisi was coming to check if he was okay while her son was having God knows what done to him in an attempt to save his life. He feels like an ass.

“I’m fine, Mrs—Sofia,” he opens the bathroom door, not bothering to force a smile.

She smiles sadly at him and pulls him to her, and it takes everything he has not to cry as he hugs her back fiercely.

—

With the way Peter’s heart’s slamming against his ribs and his breath is coming in short, sharp gasps, anyone would think he’d run the whole way from the courthouse.

“Sonny—“ he manages as he catches sight of Liv.

“He’s okay,” she cuts him off before he can let loose every terrible thought he’s concocted on his way over here.

She leads him to an ambulance, and it isn’t until he sets eyes on Sonny sitting in the back, not a visible mark on him, that he finally feels as though he can breathe.

Sonny’s eyes meet Peter’s from across the road and he smiles, warm and inviting, if a little tired, and Peter feels his eyes blur with tears.

“What are you doing here?” Sonny asks, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder—they’ve disclosed and everyone knows, but they don’t do this when they’re at work, they’re just colleagues, saving everything else for home—and catches Peter's eye, looking concerned.

“Making sure you’re okay.” He doesn’t mean to sound angry, but it comes out harsh as relief floods him at seeing Sonny whole and untouched in front of him. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Sonny ducks his head, looking guilty but also battling a smile. “S’kinda the job,” he mutters, cupping Peter’s cheek.

“I thought—“

“I’m okay,” Sonny cuts him off, grabbing his hand to press it to his chest, his favourite spot. Sonny’s heart beats strong and steady beneath his hand, and he hands his head, a dry sob escaping his lips.

“You’re okay,” he repeats, more for his own benefit than Sonny’s.

“Always,” Sonny whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

—

Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

Peter drifts in and out of sleep to the sound of Sonny’s heartbeat beneath his ear, safely enclosed in his chest, still pumping, still breathing, still alive.

Alive, but he nearly wasn’t. The bullet had nicked his artery and they’d almost lost him multiple times.

But he was alive. Alive and safe and here where Peter could touch him, even if he wasn’t awake yet.

He starts as a gentle hand threads its way into his hair, and the sleep-hazed part of his brain wants to relax into it, let it lull him to sleep, but he snaps his head up, desperate to see those bright blue eyes.

They’re not as bright as usual, dulled by sleep and pain meds and a close call with death, but they’re still warm as they crinkle at the edges, lips quirking up in a tired smile.

“Hey, you,” Sonny croaks out, and Peter can’t help himself. Finally, the dam breaks, and Peter’s face is wet with tears.

Even through his tear-blurred vision, he doesn’t miss the way Sonny’s smile slips from his face, concern taking over his features.

“I’m okay,” Sonny says quietly as Peter’s hands find his, gripping tight. “We’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Peter breathes out, pushing it past the tightness in his chest as laughter bubbles up inside of him from nowhere. Relief, he thinks, but god, he knows he must look a mess. “Yeah, we’re okay. You’re okay.”

Sonny smiles again and gives his hands a squeeze.

“I love you.”

“God,” Peter chokes out, pressing his face into Sonny’s chest for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I love you, too. So much.”

He lays a hand on Sonny’s chest, fingers splayed wide, feeling the thrum of his heart beneath his palm, and presses a kiss to Sonny’s knuckles still gripped tightly in his own hand.

Sonny was alive. He was okay. His heart was beating.

He was safe.

#carisi week #dailysvu #starisi #sonny carisi #peter stone #law and order svu #svu #svu fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing

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