#what's wrong with being human in all the facets that implies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writing-for-life · 9 months

Text

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads.

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions”

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions.

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think.

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters.

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message.

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out.

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans.

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

#fandom discourse #fandom blindspots #sandman meta #sandman spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #nada #morpheus #sandman

189 notes · View notes

shini--chan · 9 months

Note

May I request headcanons about Yandere Kaneki please?

Of course, here, have a character sheet. I got a bit carried away, since it has been so long since I wrote somthing for Tokyo Ghoul.

Yandere Character Sheet

Ken Kanaki

Trigger warnings: implied/references murder, humans are eaten, imprisonment, emotional/psychological manipulation, delusional behaviour, references to depression and suicidal ideation

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

One of the cornerstones of Ken's yandere tendencies would be his protective urges. Few people aside from him know how dangerous and wicked the world can be. A person doesn't have to be a particularly sadistic ghoul to revel in bloodshed after all. There are so many ways you could hurt yourself.

In the beginning, he would be haunted by scenarios of all the ways harm could befall you. He would wake up from nightmares of you dying and feel his heart clench at the thought of you being wronged. Thought of how you could be harmed drives him half-insane with worry.

After his time with Agoiri Tree, these tendencies would only skyrocket. You are his Elysium, an island in a stormy sea, an oasis in the scorching desert. Do you really think he could let anything happen to you? What had once been an unbearable anxiety, uncomfortable like centipedes crawling under his skin, would morph into outright bloodlust. The harmful element would wind up as a blood splatter on the ground.

Of course, part of these protective urges would be based on how strong you are. If you're just a fragile doll, then Ken would want nothing more than to wrap you up in the finest silk and hide you away forever. If you have your own back bone of steel, then he would be relaxed enough to allow you more leeway and time outside. However, even if you are strong, even more powerful than him, then he would still feel protective over you. After all, even the most talented and effective people have weaknesses and openings, even they sometimes make stupid mistakes.

Aside from that, Ken is sweet and often very considerate. He takes note of your wishes and desires, even taking the effort to remember the little things - a book that you offhandedly mentioned that you wanted to read, how you like your coffee, the route you take to work in the morning. If you do, he doesn't even take physical notes, rather dedicating it all painstakingly to memory. That way, you would take a long time to catch onto the red flags, to how he seems a bit too dedicated, too desperate for it to be healthy.

Yes, he would be desperate and dependent. At night, he tries to tell himself that he would be happy just by watching you from afar, by ensuring your safety while remaining just another face in the crowd. He is too broken to be with you after all. But it is exactly because he is broken that he can't stay away from you. You put him at ease - your mere presence is balm to his fractured psyche and thus he would only grow more dependent on you the longer he would be a ghoul.

There would be days when he would practically be attached to you by the hip, for once ignoring all your protests and trying to drink in your presence as much as possible, as if you are some healing draught. Lie down with him, card your fingers through his hair and sooth over all his rough edges and your wish would be his command (of course, as long as it would be within reason). This is also one of the reasons why it would never be able to let you go - you’re his source of strength, the reason he clings to life instead of falling to his suicidal ideation. In a way, you’re what Rize (the figment of his imagination, that is) is to him and everything that she can’t be - supportive, yet not as harsh and biting, present and not in his head. You are something more than just a representation of one of his facets.

Though, there are still times when he is fractured, when even you aren't able to consolidate the parts of him. Then, he is rash and paranoid and so very restrictive. In some ways, he projects his mental state onto the outside world - when he is particularly fragile and conflicted, then he would see his world as endangered. When he is plagued with doubts, he second guesses your words and reads between the non-existent lines, constantly fearful that you are just putting up an act.

Entwined with that, is the way he flips between delusional and lucid. Thanks to his rather mild temper and selfless nature, he probably will have developed a somewhat normal relationship with you before his yandere tendencies would really emerge. At times he recognises that what he is doing is unhealthy and even toxic and that all the hurtful words you hurtle at him are warranted. Then there are other times when he isn’t sure of his own identity, or how the world really works. As a coping mechanism, he turns to you and ignores any misgiving you have about your relationship.

Kaneki is also very much obsessed with you. At night, he dreams about you and during the day he sees you in his inner eye. You come to mind when he imagines what true beauty is supposed to look like. Whenever his mind dares to wander, it wanders to you. His thoughts revolve around you to the point where he finds it difficult to think clearly, unless he is in a fight or you are close by. And having you in his arms is by far the more preferable option.

Cornering - How would they get you?

Ken doesn’t kidnap you. Not unless he would see that as the only option to keeping you safe. Instead, he tries to approach as he would a friend. With some luck on his side, he is his co-worker or a classmate; that way, it is expected that the two of you interact with each other as it is. Even with his character development over the course of canon, he is still clunky and shy when it comes to you. Well, if things start out as a professional relationship where he is mature and kind and helpful. However, as soon as matters would get more personal, then he would find himself floundering.

Perhaps you find his clumsiness when it comes to his emotions for you adorable, perhaps you first have to warm up to him (which he would manage to his helpfulness and persistence) but in the end, when you are together, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t have to be an official relationship either, it can just be you growing closer and closer, you not even being fully cognisant of the extent of your feelings, or of his for that matter.

Either way, Ken Kaneki does his best to wrap you up in a normal relationship before the going gets rough. It isn’t really his intention when the nature of your relationship starts to change; it just happens. There is this constant itch under his skin, these constructs in his mind mocking him that he’ll end up losing you. Thus, he pulls you closer and closer, drawing up all the more rules that you have to follow.

It would start with him being more prying than usual on where you are going and being all the more inquisitive on how your day went. Then it would transition to a tracker in your clothes or one your phone and locked doors at night. And it would end with you only being let out of the house with him as a chaperone or with a person that he particularly trusts.

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

Ken doesn’t have that many expectations of you, since he has a rather wide pallet of people that would check his boxes. Nevertheless, there are a few things that he looks for in a person and a few things that are absolute no-gos for him. One of those things is a strong sense of justice. He wouldn’t be able to bear a person that is psychopathic and sees other people as cattle or ants to be trod upon. After experiencing so much suffering, as well as seeing so much suffering being inflicted upon others, he requires somebody that can look at the world with kind eyes and not want to hurt others out of some sense of twisted glee. If you are an idealist that somehow wants to turn the world into a better place, then he would be all the more interested in you.

Tying into that, you better not be hedonistic. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to indulge in the few joys life has to offer, there is something off putting to him about a person that makes their life revolve around chasing pleasure and drowning in it. There is much more to life than a set of actions or experiences that make your brain release endorphins, and you not acknowledging that would just seem cowardly to him. He wouldn’t have anything against you being naive and sheltered - to him there is a difference to being that and willfully blind, or even sadistic.

Be sweet with him. He doesn’t mind a tsundere, but having to deal with a cynic (even if he is one at times) would just wear him down. At times, he just wants to put his head in your lap and have you card your hands through his hair. Surprise him with preparing coffee for when he gets home, and even if he can’t really eat the cake you bake for him, he would appreciate the sentiment. Aside from that, I can see him falling for somebody working in medicine and if you know that he is a ghoul and maybe go out of your way to smuggle out a bag of blood for him, he would be over the moon.

Besides that, he has a huge competence kink. There is just something about you being very good at something significant that warms him with pride and adoration. If you write, then he wants to read everything that you bring to paper, and lose himself in descriptions of other worlds. Good at singing and/or dancing? He has countless videos and audios on his phone. Should you dance with him, then you’ll have the privilege of seeing his cheeks flush deep red as you guide him through the motions. If you have a particular talent for something else that isn’t tied to entertainment, then he could spend hours listening to you talk about your field of expertise. He doesn’t even have to understand it to be enraptured, your passion and competence is more than enough to entice him.

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

You could scream and shout your throat raw at him, he would just nod along and prepare some warm milk with honey for when you’re finished with your tirade. He does his best to act unaffected, though your words are the equivalent of rubbing powdered glass over his skin. If you would continue for long or hit particularly sensitive nerves he would break down and cry. But still he would never let you go, as he would tell you. Because don’t you see, none of this is for him, it is all for you!

So no matter what you do, no matter how much what you say amplifies his self-hatred, he would keep you by his side. That being said, there are still two circumstances where he would let you go.

The first is if he comes to the conclusion that you are safer away from him rather than by his side. This would be due to you being endangered by proxy to him. The last thing he would want would be for you to die in the crossfire in a fight with the CCG or another ghoul faction, or, heavens forbid, be targeted as a means to hurt him.

The second would be him forgetting you. When Ken Kaneki becomes Haise Sasaki, he forgets you, at least when it comes to conscious memory. Though watch out! As soon as he would smell you or see you again, he would find himself drawn to you again.

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

On average, Ken isn't big on punishments. He sees himself as your protector and guardian, and what sort of protector would he be if he can't protect you from himself? Perhaps as the Centipede he would more deliberately punish you. Else, in his mind he only takes measures to protect you, and if they are harsh, then so be it. It is clear that you are too reckless and naive and optimistic so you need a minder that isn't reluctant to make tough choices.

If you are too carefree and prone to venturing around, he'll imprison you in your shared apartment. Hanging out with people he doesn't approve of? Suddenly you are hearing stories of how they are terrible, good for nothing people. He'll lock away all the knives and anything you can hurt yourself with if you try to fight, and baby you if you self-harm. After trying to escape, he'll forbid you from watching TV or reading books, citing that your overactive imagination caused you to do something so foolhardy.

Protest will seem to fall on deaf ears. Sometimes they will but other times they'll be carefully filed away so that he can lose sleep due to them. You are always on his mind, after all, the good as well as the bad.

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

Panic, full blown panic. That is what he'll experience at first and the younger he is, the longer the panic attack will last. He'll dash around your shared living space, just hoping his panic is unwarrented and you just hid yourself away in one of your tantrums. His searching becomes more frantic and destructive the longer you remain undiscovered.

Eventually, he'll force himself to make a cup of coffee and sit down. Kaneki will do his best to piece together the various variables: When did you leave? What did you take with you? Which places are you most likely to run to? Are there any people from your past life that you still place a lot of trust in?

He will try his best to put himself in your shoes in order to anticipate your past, current and future choices and thus successfully track you down. Depending on which phase of his life he is currently in, there will be differences.

The shy Ken Kaneki that he is in the beginning of canon handles it like a teenage boy looking for his crush or friend. Checking social media, asking around, quietly loitering around places where he thinks you'll pop up. The Centipede is far more violent and far more desperate to get you in his grasp again, therefore the police and the CCG will find a lot of corpses, courtesy of his quest to find you again. As Haise Sasaki, he has far more resources and is calmer. In that case, he can cook up an excuse to have you very officially hunted down and dragged before him.

The end is always the same - him fussing over you like a mother hen, obsessively checking you for injuries and chiding you. After that incident, he’ll vow to keep a closer eye on you. You’ll be kept on an even shorter leash, with him being far stricter about rules and such in comparison to before your escape attempt. In his eyes, it came to you running away because he was far too lax with rules and vague about his intentions.

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO?

Actually, not much world change, on the surface at least. In some ways, he wouldn’t mind you taking the steering wheel and allowing you to play the dominant partner in the relationship. If anything, being taken care of and having to relinquish control to you would be a new yet not unwelcome experience for him. At first, he would be worried and nagging, wanting to wriggle his way into being the one that takes care of you, the one that makes sacrifices yet he would slowly learn to enjoy taking the back seat. That is, of course, if the two of you would stick to being in a romantic relationship. However, don’t think he’ll allow you to get away. If anything, he might become so used to being taken care of, that he’ll not allow you to get rid of him.

On the other hand, if you become his captor and he your captee, he would have a lot of mixed feelings. In many ways, he would understand your urges to harm him and restrict his movements. After all, he had wronged you and in retrospect, he would realise that he might have been too harsh and condescending. That would make him vow to learn from his mistakes and treat you with more dignity, should he manage to turn the tables again. Because even if you would harm him, he would still continuously forgive you, because you forgive the people that you hold dear, or not?

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Ken is insecure as it is and having a rival would only make this worse. Though it wouldn't have the intended effect of making him back off, rather it would make him all the more determined. Though, depending on which stage he is currently in, there are vast differences on how he deals with rivals.

As Ken Kaneki, the original, shy and timid Ken Kaneki, who has just become a ghoul or will soon become one, he’ll be much more shy. There is something all too tragic about the way he pines after you, in the manner a mediaeval knight would have pined after a lady of noble standing, a love that could never be mutual and fulfilled. Though, at times the depth of his passion will even spur him to action! It is surprising to everybody, even him and therefore he has a lot of plausible deniability in the case law enforcement comes knocking. It would sicken him to the core what he does to have you, and all the while he carries the heavy regrets in his heart, but it is all worth it as long as you are safe. Though, that is just when his emotions get the better of him, an absolute last resort. Else, he will try to convince you with shy words and texts in the middle of the night that your current paramour just isn’t compatible with you and that you deserve better.

As The Centipede, he is far more ruthless. After all, he does know what is best for you at the end of the day. So when he determines that the man that is currently in a relationship with you, or is bringing you flowers and chocolates every other day in an attempt to woo you, is bad for you, then the unlucky fellow must go. If he is feeling particularly frustrated and just must get the point over to you, then he waits to kill the offender right in front of you. Of course, that is if he can’t talk to you about his issues with you. Else he expects you to know that his arms are the safest to be it, and for you to reject any advances. It just might be that the one or the other is particularly pesky and persistent and needs to be taken out.

As Haise Sasaki, his plans are more complex. He has a reputation and a hell lot of resources to fall back on. As such, he tries the easy route first and foremost - talking to you. Of course, you might very well not be convinced by his word alone and then he’ll do some digging to drag the skeletons that certain person has in their closet forth. Maybe he’ll get other people to talk to you, to offhandedly mention and discuss the various flaws of his opponent with you. As much as he might want to kill his rival, he can’t make it too obvious. Perhaps that person will then be sandwiched between two warring parties and wind up as collateral damage, or be the victim of a violent crime in a far away city, or are found dead by a suicide hotspot. It takes much to get Haise to take his rival into a back alley or out into the country in order to make short work of them.

In all scenarios he feels a twinge of guilt, but does his best to stamp it out with thoughts about you - your safety, your love, your happiness, you, you, you.

Art is not mine: from Irina Vinnik and other artists

#yandere ken kaneki #yandere tokyo ghoul #yandere character sheet #x reader #yandere

131 notes · View notes

headspace-hotel · 1 year

Note

Personally as someone who experiences much more daily suffering than the average person I am deeply uncomfortable with the mere idea of "eliminating suffering" because it treats "positive" experiences like love and joy and happiness as more meaningful. In my experience this is done pretty much exclusively to the detriment of people like me.

Because by acting like suffering inherently decreases the value of someone's life you are implying that lives like mine aren't worth living. And maybe it's just me but I take offense to that! Sure my life isn't perfect and there are a lot of things I wish I didnt have to deal with but this life is mine and I'll be damned if I let other people tell me it's not good enough!

Humans weren't designed to exclusively experience pleasant things. Suffering is part of being alive! And I would not trade that for anything!

Ultimately its a facet of toxic positivity, and it makes me very very nervous. Because the people who are suffering the most always seem to be the ones thrown to the wayside for fancy little hypothetical "innovations" like this. Getting rid of suffering is quite likely impossible but that doesn't mean the people backing the idea won't just put on some horse blinders and pretend they don't see the people who would prove it didn't work.

I was about 12 years old the first time somebody told me I was too depressed to be around and it was catastrophic for my mental health. I just don't think that applying that on a worldwide scale is exactly revolutionary ya know?

The ultimate manifestation of this idea is in anti-natalism (people who think it's actively bad and wrong to have children) and people who believe in this idea are often actively pro-eugenics and just...anti-human.

"eliminate suffering" inevitably ends up at calling for extinction of all life, or at least extinction of human life, and there are people out there who think we should go extinct!...and I think we need to be firmer about calling this extremist and harmful, instead of treating it as a philosophical position to be considered seriously

like, even if voluntary human extinction just involved humans choosing not to reproduce, it's still going to fuck you up to go around looking at other humans and believing that it's bad that they're alive. yes, "existence is bad" I guess is one of the basic possible options to come to when asking questions about life and meaning, and I see how people start feeling like there is a "pro-natalist agenda" or some shit because it's something we don't really talk about.

but...believing that a universal genocide would be a good thing isn't that different from believing a genocide of one specific group would be a good thing.

And "no one should reproduce" is not really any better than "everyone should reproduce," because both violate the basic principle that other people reproducing is none of your damn business.

I am generally really uncomfortable with how so many environmentalism and climate change mitigation proposals focus on human population growth as a main cause of climate change.

There's no real evidential basis for the numbers that get cited as the ideal population for Earth, like supposedly 2-4 billion is the max the Earth can support if everyone lives a "comfortable middle class lifestyle"—What The Fuck Does That Mean? Where does it come from? Is it something we actually need or want? The vast majority of humans on Earth aren't living a "middle class lifestyle."

I want to see breakdowns of complex simulations explaining how much biomass the Earth can actually support, instead of arbitrary bullshit like that.

But from everything I've read, producing enough food for the world population is not even remotely a problem. Capitalism is the problem. Huge companies controlling the food supply and keeping the countries that produce food in poverty is the problem. Technological solutions are important but they will not fix the current problems, just like Eli Whitney's cotton gin didn't eliminate slavery.

Everyone assumes that the system is working as efficiently as it possibly can to meet the material needs of people, and that is so terribly wrong.

Anyway much of that was off topic but yeah, I'm not a fan of this line of thought and where it leads

215 notes · View notes

scramblecat · 1 month

Note

For the fandom ask game! 17 for Stanley, 22 and 24 for Stanley and Narrator :33

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think Stanley would like?

Honestly? I think he’d be entertained by action movies, or movies with a lot of action in them. He doesn’t seem to me like the type to care much about how good the plot is, just that he gets some action. (Narrator on the other hand needs An Extremely Well Done Plot and would probably hate Stanley’s choice of movies HEHAHA)

22. Give us a headcanon for the Narrator!

Ouu… okay I agree with what you said on your answer (he’s autism) and I also raise you: he’s adhd as well

This guy seems like adhd personified sometimes. Stanley is initially the one to derail things, but there’s a point after the initial derailing where the Narrator completely loses the plot and diverts to go somewhere completely different. A good example of this is the confusion ending, where he does make an effort to get things back on track, but eventually completely gives up and gets distracted with adventure. He forgets where they are and verbally admits to completely forgetting what they were supposed to be doing as well.

Another good example is the games ending— despite the Stanley Parable being a released game, there’s a gigantic chunk of the map that he simply procrastinated completing. Then the course of action goes from adding new features —> rating the game —> oh yeah! I just remembered I was also working on another game, come test it out :] —> ok obviously you hate my games. let’s go somewhere else —> immediately gets distracted by the contents of firewatch (in UD at least, in the O.G. he builds a house in minecraft) —> and stays distracted until he realizes it’s open world —> freaks out and brings stanley to a different game —> gets distracted by rocket league (in UD) —> gets distracted by having fun with Sportsball —> remembers that he’s supposed to be mad at stanley

Like, there’s so many little areas where as soon as he’s derailed from his script, he gets sidetracked by other things. he forgets so many things. the amount of aggressive paper-shuffling he does when the sound effects show up implies that he does not have any of that in order and can’t find what he needs to. he lacks volume control, especially when he’s excited. he Needs Stimulation and Has to be doing something at all times. friend pointed out that if this guy has low dopamine then no wonder he craves approval.

I just think he’s neat. the auDHD ever

24. What's your favourite thing about the Narrator?

Oh god you can’t do this to me … /silly

Alright. Being completely and fully honest, I think it’s his complexity.

there are SO MANY DIFFERENT FACETS to him. There’s so many different angles and interpretations you could take. There’s so many subtle little details and quirks about him and they make his character. The fact that despite the extremely heavy implications that he’s not human, he acts so PAINFULLY so. he has flaws, desires, fears, things that make him happy, and so many tiny little details that are portrayed via dialogue alone. he’s selfish, he can be absolutely cruel, but he’s still loveable as a character. despite the fact that he’s so selfish and so unsympathetic in many scenarios, there has been a perfect balance struck with the way that he’s portrayed. The fact that much of that is purposeful but also some is out of ignorance, the way it majorly interferes with how he copes with things. the way it’s balanced out by the fact that despite that, he’s a delightfully passionate character who genuinely cares so much about what he does, who gets so excited and enthusiastic about simple little things. The ways that his flaws turn into strengths and his strengths turn into flaws, the way his major flaws have dire consequences in multiple scenarios. he has so, SO many ways that he’s presented, he’s put through so many scenarios that reveal more about him and how he reacts to things going wrong and also to things going right. He’s not presented in any one way, and so it’s impossible to assign him just one blanket Mode— he’s not annoyed all the time, nor is he happy-go-lucky all the time— he’s presented as so complicated, he’s both of these at once and at the same time he’s so so much more than that OIUHHHHGHHH I LOVE HIM SO FUCKIG MUCH MANNN.

Thank you for the ask!! :D i’m very regular as you can tell /silly

—————

Fandom ask game! Send me a number (and a character, if applicable) and I’ll answer the corresponding question :]

#answering machine #an-theduckin #scrambleposting #tsp #scramble’s rambles #<— yeah this one deserves the ramble tag LMAO #ask game

8 notes · View notes

eyeless-cunt · 1 year

Note

I’m currently being cancelled on tiktok for writing fucked up shit. Therefor, i demand the absolute most vile, fucked up headcanons you got. I mean absolutely traumatize me EC. I dare you. You won’t.

oh boy. no idea what that's about but a request is a request so.

TW/CW: Some of these aren't my personal hcs. Just writing fucked up shit to write fucked up shit. Cannibalism. Child death. Forced abortion. We are Killing Pregnant Women Today! Slight implied animal abuse. Suicide. We are having sex with God and Eating Them. Being sacrilegious and blasphemous. Corruption kink. Maggots. Night terrors and Hallucinations. Gore. Implied Car Accident Death. LJ, Ben, Toby.

Starting off strong here. We all know and understand LJ's hatred towards happy children and loving parents/caretakers. This hate extends towards happy expecting couples. Those newly weds who've finally gotten their lives together and are ready to start a family. Those families who are expecting their first child, excited and ready for happy days to follow. LJ finds the most fulfillment in tearing these people down. He takes his time with it. Letting the dog out, coloring on the walls, starting facets and leaving hard candies in random places. Once they know something is deeply wrong he'll up the ante. Stress the dog out, make it jumpy and quick to bite. When they wake they'll find candy under their tongue. Wails in the middle of the night will wake them constantly. The grand finale will come when they're packing their bags, ready to leave and never come back to this horror house. But he won't let them. He'll drag the person with the full stomach, the growing life into a locked room while their partner screams and wails on the other side of the door, hopelessly kicking and clawing at a door that just won't fucking budge. He'll wait months until the due date is almost here—he wants to claw an almost completely formed fetus out of them. He wants it to hurt. He wants to unlock the door once he's finished and watch it slowly open to reveal a horrifying display of guts and gore. To him there's nothing more addictive than watching the partner fall to the floor and scream, not being able to do anything other than cry and tremble.

Ben doesn't know where he went wrong but it's a few hundred years too late. How can he clean up his messes? How could these people ever forgive him? He's killed thousands, driven children to suicide and mothers to murder. He wishes he regretted it a little more. Maybe then he'd be forgiven. Should he lay out his sins at the altar and beg God for their company? Will a prayer absolve his sins? Or will spreading God open and taking the forgiveness he needs to feel better end up being the solution? The holiness of this intimacy is sacred. Would bending over an angel and taking their innocence grant him an immunity or would it damn him forever? If he ate a piece of their purity would he become pure? All it takes is an eye, a clamp down on their neck, the blood of God in his system. Could he make an angel scream for him? Taste this human impurity. Take a piece of the human he used to be and taste what you've created. Feel this pain. Taste this suffering on my tongue. Can you get a feel of what human existence is all about as you suck between my legs? You can create the human existence, so can't you replicate it as well? Fuck like a human, cum like a human. Kill like a human and eat like a fucking human. Eat my eyes and lick the sockets clean as I say a prayer for you. You created this chest, so take everything inside of it. Break open the ribcage and chew through the tissue. This heart is yours<3

Toby will never stop getting nightmares of his half dead sister in the middle of the night. The smell of ammonia leads him to believe there are maggots crawling through her veins that he can't quite make out in the dark. It makes him wonder what else he can't see. Does her skin still have that glow? Or has it all but rotted off her bones–a question he thinks he knows the answer to as he hears the noises she makes against the floorboards. It's a wet sound, like a used washcloth dragging against the ground. Toby is far too scared to close his eyes. Too guilty. Is he upsetting her by shaking in the corner, scared and horrifed? Does she wonder what she's done wrong to receive this sort of treatment? When all she's done is die, he has no reason to be afraid. His sister is still his sister, even if her guts are on the outside now. Could he hold her still? Or is she meant to stay on that side of the room, just a bleeding watcher in the doorway? Could he comfort her for once? Or is there enough comfort in the passenger seat of that car, enough safety in the metal frame that stays lodged in her skull. Does she still need comfort now that she's dead? Can she feel the refuge of death and the stillness of the air in this room? Maybe now it's too late for his attempt of giving back.

#creepypasta #ask #anon ask #creepypasta imagines #creepypasta headcanon #laughing jack #ben drowned #ticci toby

55 notes · View notes

asmrbrainrot · 7 days

Text

youtube

Oh to be surprise adopted into a theater club by a 55 year old (I think) centaur man~! Anyways, time to overanalyze @darkandtwistedasmr’s storytelling again!

Spoilers under the cut:

So I had a LOT of feelings about this audio being a theater kid myself, but largely, when I analyzed this facet of Academy life (or more accurately Professor Bairon specifically) I see an aging thespian held back by his fear of change.

Profesor Bairon is, at first glance, the stereotypical comedically dramatic theater teacher wash-up who’s waiting for a big break that’s never gonna happen, however; I do believe he does have potential as an actor, but he’s holding himself (and by proxy his students) back by sticking to what he knows. Bairon clearly knows what he’s doing, it’s even implied he used to have at least some notoriety as an actor. The problem is, he hasn’t changed with the times. Don’t get me wrong, respecting and holding onto traditions can be great but theater is a living art form, always changing. After all, all “old ways” were once new at some point.

Take Shakespeare for example, when we learn about his writings in history and english they’re revered as some amazing eloquent masterpieces reminding us of a more civilized and “high-brow” point in entertainment history. But that’s completely bogus! Shakespeare’s writings were vulgar, crass, lewd, and full of potty humor! Not to mention the reason it sounds “elegant” is because that’s just how old English sounded. To the people of the time it would’ve just been a crass comedy or (equally crass) dramatic tragedy.

Bairon believes he is safe in these supposed “traditional” methods, but fails to realize why they became so popular in the first place. At the time they were new, exiting, and funny! But now everyone has heard those stories, and moved on from such methods. Not to say that they’re bad or shouldn’t be implemented, but at some point you have to try something new. That’s what theater is about, getting up on stage and telling a story despite the risk that it may not be absorbed in the way you intended.

And that is what Bairon is afraid of. Heck! Even in his original stage play he’s telling the story of Queen Mila, (who I have some theories on btw) but everyone already knows about her. They’ve heard the stories and songs and tales. He dips his toes (or hooves rather) into prospect of the new by including the listener as Queen Mila’s admirer, but he’s solely leaning into the exoticism of having a human onstage rather than listening to the ideas of his students. (As demonstrated by him completely highjacking Heather’s theater club)

He’s desperate to find the spotlight again but is unwilling will to risk controversy. What makes his situation even sadder is that since the academy has opened up to all sorts of creative creatures now, the theater department has the potential to combine the stories and culture of other races with the resources and influence of the academy!

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, here’s a cookie for your troubles 🍪

#TLDR: Sad old man needs to listen to his theater kids #darkandtwistedasmr #Youtube #go check him out if you haven’t already!#rants #peepaw vibes frfr #Bairon #centaur #asmr roleplay #magic academy #magic academy roleplay series belongs to @darkandtwistedasmr

2 notes · View notes

limeade-l3sbian · 2 months

Note

sorry yea meant to write twd, as in the walking dead 😭 english isn’t my first language so i often accidentally replace w with v without thinking since we don’t really use w where i’m from lmao

anyways my rant was that rick x michonne was done so dirty. they were both my favorite characters so a romance between the two SHOULD have felt epic for me, but it just fell flat. rick went from being deranged and infatuated with that blonde lady who he knew for all of two seconds with the abusive husband one second and then, with no lead up beyond their friendship and great ability to work together, the next second rick and michonne are having a romantic moment, which correct me if i remember wrong, immediately led to sex and then the next day they were just an item??? and like i know the show ain’t a romance show. i’m prolly dumb for fixating rn. but it annoyed me so bad bc it felt sooo rushed. here we have pivotal characters with loads of interactions, but the show didn’t think it would be a good idea to like build some romance before just jumping us all with it? the way the pacing was done made it seem like rick just settled for michonne bc blonde lady was with her husband and i dunno. i wanted something more epic for michonne 😭 either that or just leave the romance out. like it wasn’t necessary? they could have had a continued great partnership without it being romantic in my eyes.

OH YOU ARE CORRECT ANON, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

No, TWD is not a romance show but it does have romantic elements. We get glimpses into their lives. It is, in fact, a facet of the show. Retaining the aspects of what it means to be human while fighting and dealing with grosser and grosser looking walkers.

That whole romance with Jessie was so rushed and such bullshit. I genuinely don't know what they were thinking. There should have been more moments of side glances between Michonne and Rick and if they were deadset on having Jessie (blonde woman) be a sort of character who has the offer of romance to Rick, we should have seen him be conflicted.

Why conflicted? He and Michonne aren't even an item. They've never seen shared words with one another that could be mistaken for a second as romantic. And Jessie is beautiful, so why is hesitating? Why did he think of Michonne the moment Jessie tries to kiss him? He leaves the house but swears to Jessie that its not her fault, he just has to get up early tomorrow morning to meet with Deanna (it's a lie).

The next few days, we see him and Michonne, the de facto sheriffs of Alexandria spending more time together. Maybe Deanna makes a passive comment that can't be determined to be intentional or genuinely inquiring. She says something like, "That Michonne is a tough one. A lot of strength in those eyes. I can see why you two are so drawn to each other." Rick turns to her, a tempered look of incredulity on his face as he says, "We're not..." He pauses, as Deanna raises a natural thin, brow, waiting for him to finish his sentence. Rick holds her gaze, unsure if she was implying something or if, again, she had truly misconstrued a situation that he himself could not define.

He glances down, sniffing a moment before grunting, "It's not like that."

Deanna changes the subject, transitioning with a simple, "At any rate..."

But the conversation stays with Rick. It frames every conversation that he has with Michonne after that moment. Every time Michonne looks at him, he hears his conflicted statement: "It's not like that."

When he sees Jessie again, she apologizes for crossing a line. He nods, but he doesn't say anything.

And then blah blah blah all the plot shit, Michonne and Rick have their time in front of the fire and kiss.

#ask #PUT ME IN THE WRITERS ROOM I'LL GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT #richonne

3 notes · View notes

eldritch-spouse · 2 years

Note

What are the exact duties of an Administrator, besides being a doll for possessions? Because most job that Admin should’ve do is done by Patches and Ludwig

And why exactly us? Why can’t Krulu just use human slaves? Aren’t possessions bad for physical and mental health, as horror movies told us?

Your job as Administrator.

As the name spells it out, the Administrator administrates the state of The Clergy. While Krulu is busy, your job to make sure things are still functioning in tip top shape around the establishment. This implies a number of things, some more boring, others more entertaining.

Everyday, you are to regularly make rounds through every single floor inside the Clergy. This can be different levels of strenuous depending on how many floors the establishment has manifested said day, but don't worry- With Krulu's power, it's not like you're going to collapse of exhaustion. After all, you have a job to do... During these rounds, you'll:

Catalog any material inconsistencies you find, such as The Clergy failing to form a wall correctly or things clipping out of place- Taking reports of general stability;

Wait or approach employees directly about their stock (the ones that need it anyway);

Report physical altercations, note that this doesn't mean you have to or even should stop them, just get a fairly accurate description of the event;

You should always keep a good eye on the amount of bobbles (living toys) in most floors. There must always be a select number of them free-roaming around each floor to both entertain (in various ways) and encourage clients to waste more money. If there's too many, disperse them to other floors, if too little overall then bother Patches about it. Because of this, you almost always have a small group of the little things trailing after you and waiting for orders;

Above all, your long-term goal is to keep the staff team cohesive- Which is not easy. You're dealing with very strong personalities here, you must not only bond with them (however you please) but make sure they tolerate each other well enough to keep the place functional. Essentially, you're babysitting these manchildren;

Another important facet of your position is functioning as Krulu's errand human. He's almost always dwelling in the lower floors inside The Clergy, and while he could simply summon things to his side, Krulu enjoys making you work. He likes seeing every piece of his creation come together and function perfectly. Sometimes he'll ask you to move things in and out of his floor, other times he simply wants answers to questions;

As Administrator, you are also the face of the establishment. Only the staff team has seen Krulu, from time to time, clients almost never get a glimpse of him- And for good reason. This means that someone must speak for him, and as his vessel, that's where you come in. There's an irony to this. You're like a mascot to The Clergy, the very thing they torture is seemingly in charge of everything! You speak for Krulu, and other times he speaks directly through your body;

I could add a lot more to this list, but you're getting the gist...

Patches and Ludwig

Patches, while adept at certain management skills, is not performing most of your work. In fact, he's a vastly immobile unit that is in charge of production rather than supervision. Yes, he makes sure things are in order inside The Clergy, just in a different, more specific way than you do. Plus, if you are unavailable to work, for whatever reason, it's his job to replace you- Because aside from you, Patches is the one Krulu trusts the most.

I don't know where you got the idea that Ludwig plays an active part in this, perhaps I've worded things wrong. He was a key part in getting Krulu out of his prison, getting you two to pair, and aiding in the construction of The Clergy. yes. However, he hates working. He does part-time gigs at The Clergy's Eye, nothing more. Apart from having a fairly good relationship with you, Ludwig is nowhere near remotely as important to the structure nor is he qualified to ever do the things Admin does.

Why not human slaves?

Think for a second. Does it sound like Krulu would ever trust a random human with his establishment? Does it make sense that a person scared out of their mind and exuding vulnerability would be good at such a job? Krulu would have to be a lot more active and puppeteer said human 24/7, he has better things to do. Besides, humans generally don't last long enough in The Clergy, the moment they flow in, they're already being distributed to different monsters inside and primarily the staff. It just doesn't make any sense.

Why you?

Because Krulu trusts you the most. Because you've sworn yourself to him. His will is law and you enforce it with pleasure. Because you embody him, you represent him, you are connected by flesh and soul. Of course you'd accept this role, it's an honor.

The possession aspect

I feel like this warrants its own ask, because the level of information I have on this part of your relationship with Krulu is fucking humongous. Allow me to summarize.

In a time where highers still interacted with lessers, possessions were actually something symbolic of harmony, a display of magnificent unity between creator (and other casts) and created. People wanted to be possessed because it meant one was special, and if done carefully, no harm would come to the human in question.

It is only when interlevel interaction gets universally banned that possessions start becoming troublesome. Highers didn't want to leave their lessers behind, naturally- And some were forced to leave the bodies of their lessers, leaving biological destruction in their wake. Possessions became taboo, a hush hush sort of deal that never ended well because it was illegal.

The first few months of your bonding with Krulu were rough on your health, physical and mental, for a variety of reasons:

The lessers of this day and age are not prepared to welcome highers anymore;

Krulu is rusty at it after having spent an eternity in a stimulus-devoid prison;

He's old and magnificent in sheer quantity, any poor human would struggle to accommodate.

With a lot of patience, effort and dedication, the biological side of things stabilizes and the two of you are able to create an operational mutuality.

The mental side... Well, you can't expect to come out unblemished when sharing a headspace with an unhinged god, can you?

#general TCE #LORE MMMMM

78 notes · View notes

greatwyrmgold · 10 months

Text

Another fanfiction pet peeve: Pointless synechdoche. I'm using "synechdoche" slightly wrong, so I should explain what I mean. I'm talking about when a fanfic author wants to refer to a character (herein referred to as the "subject"), but doesn't want to use the subject's name or third-person pronoun, and instead uses a noun or adjective referring to some aspect of the subject. For instance, Superman might be referred to as "the alien," "the paragon," or "the red-caped man". Hair color is a particularly common, for some reason.

Now, this isn't always a bad thing to do! I'm going to start by describing some ways it can be used well.

Obviously, if there's a distinct POV character who doesn't know/recognize the subject, they need to use synechdoche. They need to describe the subject based on their appearance or behavior, because that's all the POV character knows. It puts distance between the narrator and the subject.

Synechdoche can also emphasize certain aspects of a subject. This can be exclusively for the benefit of the audience, e.g. to remind them of some relevant fact, or to emphasize the irony of a line ("Earth is my home," said the alien.) Stories with a distinct POV character can also be used to characterize the narrator. What does it say about your narrator if he repeatedly refers to one of the people he's talking with as "the hot one"?

And of course, these purposes can be tweaked or combined. Language is flexible, and so is literature. But the human brain cannot automatically parse what any given synechdoche is trying to do; it just parses the words it reads and spits out some meaning.

Whenever you use synechdoche, you are characterizing the narrator, you are emphasizing certain aspects of the subject, and you are putting distance between narrator and subject. If that's what you're trying to do, great! If not, you might have a problem.

Emphasizing an irrelevant facet of a subject isn't incorrect in the way that referring to Superman as "the blonde" would be, but it can easily be distracting, the same way any irrelevant information in the middle of a dialogue scene would be. Careless use of synechdoche can imply things about the narrator that just aren't true. And of course, using synechdoche at all puts distance between the narrator and the subject, which is weird if the narrator is supposed to be close to the subject and even weirder if the narrator doesn't exist because the fic has third-person omniscient narration. And that's if you pick decent synechdoche and not, like, "the Big Blue Boy Scout said," which is only slightly more awkward than some actual synechdoche I've seen used recently.

Writing Advice

I know why people use synechdoche. It's generally best to avoid repeating a word too much in short order, and it's easy to repeat subject names or pronouns a lot during a dialogue scene.

However:

I think people worry too much about repetition. Avoid it if you can, but if you can't, don't worry.

Synechdoche always puts distance between narrator and subject. This is a good thing in some cases, but frequently counterproductive.

Synechdoche usually implies something about the narrator. This is a good thing if you're implying that on purpose, but not so much if you're just picking a character trait so you don't have to say "Clark" again.

Synechdoche suggests that the subject trait being referenced is somehow significant to the scene. If it's not, synechdoche wastes audience time recognizing that insignificance, and can mislead your audience if you pick your synechdoche very poorly.

Synechdoche is frequently awkward, especially when you need to come up with several ways to refer to the same subject in one conversation.

I think people worry too much about repetition. Avoid it if you can, but if you can't, don't worry.

But as an alternate suggestion, I would recommend trying to write dialogue which your audience can follow with few or no dialogue tags. This is easiest when your conversations only involve two characters, since you can assume alternating lines are said by different characters. (Though the audience might get things turned around after a dozen consecutive lines if you're not careful.)

I would also recommend giving each of your characters a distinctive voice. Sometimes this is something overt, like a literary dialect or verbal tic; sometimes it's a collection of little details like word choice, tone, ideas expressed, and so on.

Another possibility: Try structuring dialogue differently, and maybe add a little non-dialogue action into dialogue sequences. Word repetition isn't nearly as bad without structure repetition. Compare:

Superman said, "Stop, villain! I cannot allow you to continue your wicked ways!" Dr. Doom replied, "No, you should stop and let me finish this plan. I worked so hard on it!" Clark snarled, "No matter how hard you worked, I won't let you take that dragon ball!" Dr. Doom shot him.

To:

Superman said, "Stop, villain! I cannot allow you to continue your wicked ways!" "No," Dr. Doom replied, "you should stop and let me finish this plan. I worked so hard on it!" Superman put his fists on his hips. "No matter how hard you worked, I won't let you take that dragon ball!" Dr. Doom shot him. Again.

See? Just by changing where you put what, you can make the scene feel less repetitive. The difference is slight in this example text, but across a dialogue-heavy chapter, this kind of variation adds up.

#pet peeve #advice #unsolicited advice #on writing #writing advice

3 notes · View notes

secondsonaym · 1 year

Note

Is there a possibility the bishops could be healed of some mental sickness like Azazel was? Not exactly sure how they could be redeemed since they lost their control of the crowns like Narinder so they couldn't even BEGIN to try and undo the genocide like in another AU, but are they even able to get their remorse back?

Well, gonna say first and foremost, chalking up their crimes to 'mental sickness' and implying they'll automatically be absolved/be better people if they were magically 'cured' isn't exactly a good way to look at things.

Yeah, the bishops are gonna get pretty messed up, and it will explain their logic and how they steadily got to the point they were at at the start of the game--Admittedly I'm not going to cover the entirety of the several thousand years they were in power, and mostly leave it up in the air for people to see "Ah, so it started Here and then got Worse as time went on."

But, speaking as a mentally ill person, implying they are without any form of remorse and that all of their bad decisions are solely because of their mental issues does more harm than good for Real People with mental issues. Mental illness can explain, but should not excuse, actions of the magnitude the bishops have gone through with.

Azazel's specific circumstance has yet to actually be elaborated on--It was supposed to be sudden, confusing, and even concerning, for them to have such a complete 180, and a basic bonk on the head isn't going to automatically fix them or negate what they did.

Before the bishops were bishops, they were people. And they are still people, all things considered. But they've been warped by their own flawed views, have had centuries to stagnate on them, and due to their positions, have worked themselves into a state of believing themselves to be above it all.

If they decide that they do want to change for the better, that'll have to come as a result of a lot of introspection and work on their end, because as I said in an earlier ask, there are many shades of grey to this situation as a whole.

I don't want people to demonize them because 'oooooh they're messed up in the head', because I'm messed up in the head, and how do you think that would make me, and other mentally ill people, feel?

My desire in terms of characterization is to make these guys feel human (Ignore the fact they aren't human, you know what I mean). Complex, faceted, and none of the ugly parts smoothed over.

Not even Star, who is my favorite by virtue of being my OC, is exempt from this. She's not a good person, and I've shown several instances of that.

So basically, tl;dr, chalking all they've done wrong up to 'mental sickness' and implying remorse would only come if it were to magically clear away is not a Great Take, admittedly, anon.

#sorry if it seems i Went Off a little bit or missed the point here #but your wording specifically kind of Bothered me #i'm always quietly kind of fearing people are gonna call one of the characters here smth like p/ycho just because of like. violent #tendencies or warped logic #there's definitely outside forces to why the bishops are the way they are #but as many people with mental illness know; it's a major part of who you are no matter how well you manage it #i personally have a paranoid disorder among other things so raziel in particular is going to draw from a lot of personal experience

14 notes · View notes

bestworstcase · 2 years

Note

Not that you have said much about it on your posts before, but there is an idea that eventually, Salem and Oz could possibly get back together. Given what we know of both of these characters, I find that EXTREMELY unlikely. Impossible even. If you propose it IS possible for it to actually happen in the show, or even be implied to happen offscreen by the end, how??? I would imagine there would need to be a whole domino effect of things that would have to happen first, and I haven't the faintest as to what they would be, other than these characters certainly must fundamentally change in some way or another.

two points of clarification before diving in:

1 - all jokes about ozlem being #endgame aside, “reconciliation” (which i expect to happen) isn’t the same thing as “getting back together” (which i think is a small possibility). the depth of betrayal on both ends is so extreme that rebuilding the trust that was broken to the extent that is necessary for a rekindled romantic relationship to even be considered would take a very deliberate effort to fix things well beyond the level of being able to work together against a common enemy—and i’m not sure either of them really *wants* that.

2 - central to my reading of the entire narrative is the idea that salem is, fundamentally, correct in her perception of the gods; that they are indeed monstrous tyrants who must be resisted despite their overwhelming power, and thus ozma’s loyal service to the god of light is his critical moral failure even though he’s right about salem being evil now.

hence: as i see it, the conflict between salem and everyone else is, at its core, an ideological conflict between desperate rebellion against evil on her side and frightened submission to the same on everyone else’s; salem is a well-intentioned extremist doing horrific things for a good reason and everybody else is presently too preoccupied with trying to stop the horrific things salem is doing to consider what it means that they are, in the process, serving the will of a god who wants to obliterate them all. ozma himself is to a significant degree personally responsible for this disconnect between what the conflict is and what everyone except salem thinks it is, because everything his allies know about the gods has been filtered through the lens of his perceptions and his loyalty to the god of light has never really been challenged.

the lost fable, in my view, isn’t a story about ozma getting lured into evil because he trusted salem and she took advantage of that to manipulate him into becoming a pawn in her desire for wanton destruction—ie the standard fanon take. i read it as a story about ozma trying to both be with the woman he loves *and* obey the gods who condemned her to eternal suffering until he is eventually forced, by his own conscience and by salem’s flat refusal to obey her tormentors, to choose, at which point he chooses wrong.

(see also this post)

which is to say, yeah, in order for these characters to reconcile in any way they must first undergo a fundamental change; specifically, ozma needs to renounce his service to the god of light. he needs to correct his original failure of accepting “redeem humanity or be annihilated” as something the gods had a right to demand, and by extension he needs to stop making salem the scapegoat for his inability to fulfill that task; division is an innate and valuable facet of human nature, not an evil embodied by salem that needs to be rooted out and destroyed in order to make humankind worthy of existence.

then—and only then—can the problem of salem’s actions be meaningfully addressed. her “no cost is too great” desperation arises from watching the gods wipe out humanity millions of years ago like it was nothing to them, learning they intended to do it again, and then for thousands of years watching ozma establish religion(s) based on worship of those gods and gather the relics he needed to eventually summon them back for their day of judgment—all while being THE ONLY person on the planet who knew the truth and recognized the gods as the monstrous tyrants and dire threat they really are.

even then, there is i think a lot of evidence that salem is going after the relics with what she considers to be the bare minimum degree of force necessary; the fall of beacon was catastrophic, but afterwards vale was immediately left to rebuild and carry on life as usual even though salem has had agents stationed in the ruins of beacon this whole time. (amity colosseum was also evidently left to just sail back to atlas after the immediate crisis was over.) likewise, not only has mistral been left alone since the lamp was removed, salem planned to TAKE the lamp in a manner that would have been almost entirely bloodless: cinder was to kill the spring maiden and open the vault, lionheart would likely have been assassinated, and then the white fang would have blown up the completely empty campus of haven academy. and then she showed up with a grimm army to lay siege to atlas and did absolutely nothing to attack the utterly defenseless *mantle*—the grimm mantle was dealing with throughout v8 were to all appearances just wild stragglers drawn in by people’s fear, the same as in v7. she’s *not* going out of her way to cause maximum destruction even now (and she’s made consistent if largely unsuccessful efforts to get cinder to stop going for maximum destruction as well.)

which, to me, suggests that if salem were given a chance to pursue her goal of defeating the gods in a less catastrophic way—if, for example, she saw that the ideological argument against the gods isn’t futile, that she can find common ground with the rest of humanity—she would probably take it. she’s never going to change her mind or submit to the gods, but we’ve seen how readily she alters her plans and adjusts her tactics in response to new information or even just recognizing that what she was doing before wasn’t working.

there are also, as i’ve discussed, things happening rn in the dynamic between salem and cinder that seem very likely to end up being catalysts for change in both characters; and the general thrust of my endgame showdown-with-the-gods theory involves a united humanity uno reversing the gods by changing THEIR natures, fixing THEIR brokenness, essentially making them human, likely using silver eyes in some way—which, well. we know salem’s experimenting with combining light and darkness using silver eyes, and she recruited summer fifteen years ago for reasons we still don’t know. she also knows precisely where she went wrong the first time she faced the gods (attacking them head-on with brute force, a battle humanity couldn’t hope to win). in order to have a shot at surviving confrontation with the gods, humans will NEED to turn them against each other—get them focused on their conflict with each other, get them *fighting* to buy time and create the opportunity to change them… and salem a) knows that now, b) understands the psyches of the gods well enough to actually do it, and c) has been honing these exact tactics for thousands of years. meaning, in a confrontation between humanity and the gods, salem would be an INCREDIBLY valuable ally for humanity as a whole, which creates a significant incentive for the heroes to take a chance on trusting her if it comes down to an enemy-of-my-enemy alliance.

its the whole if you can’t beat em make em join you thing but from both sides simultaneously; salem gets everyone to reject the gods, everyone gets salem to join them in an alliance against those gods instead of desperately trying to fight the battle alone, and the gods get either smashed together into their original whole (and by extension humanlike) form or stripped of their divinity and remade into humans themselves

#tldr ozlem reconciliation is an ozma apostasy arc

10 notes · View notes

gothicastles · 3 months

Text

I know this will come across as pick-me and so dramatic for no reason but like I can't stop thinking about the fact that I've gone basically my whole life without understanding the "relatability" aspect of art as a means to enjoy said art in the first place because I've never fallen in love (romantically) nor experienced heartbreak (romantically) and literally the broadth of art IS about romantic love. Ofc that doesn't mean that I cannot empathize at a human level with these experiences but I still get a bit frustrated whenever I play music on shuffle and 99.9% of the songs that come up are all about romantic love to some degree (desiring it, having it, losing it, etc.), or that whenever I search fics on ao3 99.9% of them deal in their majority with romantic love/relationships and ppl falling in or out of love, or that whenever I sit down to read a book or poem I can always expect that romantic attraction/relationships will thematically take center stage or constitute the major plot points that'll move the story forward.

Now by this I don't mean that everyone should just stop singing, painting, writing, or making art in general about romantic love ever; after all, it IS something that affects and concerns so many people at a fundamental level and that calls for catharsis and abstraction and creation. But I simply wished that this specific part of human experience (among the literal kaledoiscope of experiences that constitute our lives) wasn't SO pervasive in all areas of art to the point that it becomes a real struggle to find those narratives that explore other themes or don't place romantic love at the foreground of everything, and that the majority of those who DO feel simplistic and disney-fied, as if targeting a younger audience with largely "feel-good", wholesome vibes (I'm thinking of like those painfully bland and derivative "found family" narratives or that fucking book the house in the cerulean sea I don't know what the fuck that follows me fucking everywhere).

I hate that it's rare to find well-constructed, elevated, adult works of art (both current and old) that don't place romantic love at the center stage, or aren't preoccupied with it at all, while still exploring various facets of life that are just as important (especially sex and sexuality). What this does is send the covert message that romance IS and SHOULD BE the ultimate pool from which we must extract artistic inspiration, and this by extension implies that a life lacking in romantic love is not worth the effort of artistic endeavours. Also I'm aware that other big themes in art aside from romance (such as death, grief, grappling with identity, justice, family, morality, etc.) exist and have their own weight, however, if you pay attention, they oftentimes come in pairs with romance, or find resolution/solace/complexity as a result of being in tension with romance, instead of existing in their own accord or outside the realms of romance if that make sense.

I've tried to implement my own non-romantic experiences into my writing and to focus on what I'm much more interested in at an intellectual level (themes of desire, sexuality, obsession, possession, destruction, imbalance, the breaking of the inner self, morality) whilst trying not to fall for the trap of feeling like I must add romance/romantic attraction and/or idealization somewhere in the mix for them to feel "complete" or "relevant", but it's hard sometimes when most of the messaging surrounding art seems to be drenched in romance as both the core of human life and the inner force that gives art itself its vitality. I'm so tired of all the stories being love stories and the songs being love songs. Like amatonormativity makes the arts (and fandom spaces by extension) a bleaker place.

Again, I'm not saying that "romantic stories" are wrong in any way or that works that deal with other topics don't exist, just that the ratio of art about romance in some capacity vs. art without romance is DIRE. Like WHERE is the rich tapestry of life outside of romance being represented. Where where where.

#I'm just complaining about it in ART #like don't even get me started of the supremacy of the Romance Narrative in real life....#for the record: i wouldn't even consider myself as aromantic (I even have my own reservations about that term tbh)#but i'm so over the current trend of stories selling themselves as “about the importance of friendship over romance uwu”#being SO clearly for children or young audiences...#where can i read about weird problematic intimate dynamics that don't involve falling in love in some capacity #just 2 sickos destroying one another for the sole purpose of doing so... anyway #good night #my posts

1 note · View note

tucipink · 1 year

Text

Hank Schrader VS Walter White

Walter E Kurtz ? Nah I’m talkin about Walter H White.

Fr though, I haven’t watched this analysis video so I don’t know what it details. But the parallels are there. I am drawing parallels from this. And I can elaborate but not right now because I can’t be bothered.

Edit: there’s a possibility that this dynamic/ antithesis in morality was what inspired the writing of the Breaking Bad characters. Because:

Hank is a cop with the DEA but is initially introduced as a horrible person - he’s not overly malicious or anything - he’s just obnoxious, cocky, and abuses his position of power to disrespect those smaller than him with no repercussions. And is just plain shitty to those he isn’t friends with oftentimes. However, he’s always referred to as a “good guy” fighting “bad guys”.

This very much reflects Colonel Kilgore’s position - he’s considered great because of his status but as an individual, is a real asshole. Both Hank’s and Bill’s (that’s the bastard’s name) inflated confidence roots from the belief that they’re invincible despite their dangerous occupation so they’ve forgotten their own mortality due to being privileged and powerful.

Since Breaking Bad is a series and Apocalypse Now is a movie, there’s more room for character development for Hank in which he has some humbling downfalls and comes out the other end significantly less shitty upon being reminded of his humanity.

Okay now on to my slightly weaker comparison: the two bald Walters who have a wife and a son who they want to make happy but just end up fucking up kinda sorta in different ways. By law/ legislation both our Walters are bad. They used to have squeaky clean records but now they have broken bad. (I suppose Kurtz doesn’t fully align with the phrase through since there are strong moral values behind all of his actions but still, he did start killing people on a whim so he did eventually (eyebrow wiggle) BREAK BAD. Also …. Both Walters have fatal illnesses neither of which end up being the death of them (Water Weight with cancer and Water Curbs with implied Malaria).

Okay on to their moral facets that make them the opposite to Hank and Bill: they’re perceived by law and societally as bad but as individuals initially, they are good people and hold values and beliefs for the greater good. Although they do have a descent into not doing much good, they initially set out to do good and still hold on to beliefs that revolve around the greater good.

I still haven’t watched the video but my guess is that they’re gonna do the whole status of good, actually shitty: status of bad, actually good thing. And use the whole “if that’s how Kilgore fought the war then I wondered what problem they had with Kurtz” line or however it goes. But hey I might be wrong - I’m sleep deprived and dehydrated and this essay was driven by nothing other than avid hyperfixtations on both pieces of media and way too many items of confectionery I acquired for Christmas being my only sustenance so uh

And of course, nobody is inherently good/bad - people are much more multifaceted than that. However, in works of fiction, characters need to have clearer defined behaviours and beliefs for the sake of the plot and entertainment.

0 notes

archer3-13 · 1 year

Note

As someone whom has played WoW and used to follow the lore, I think a major part of the problem isn't female characters going crazy, but Horde characters and indeed the entire faction going crazy to suit the writer's incessant need to have faction conflict.

You remember how in Fates, everything Hoshido had to be justified, no matter how stupid it was, and Nohr constantly had to make stupid/evil decisions, yet the writing insisted it was morally grey?

Thats WoW with the Alliance (Hoshido) and Horde (Nohr), even when an Alliance character (Turlayon for reference) tortures a woman in front of her child, the writers go out of their way to justify it and vilify the woman. Mists of Pandaria depicted a colonist asshole, whom murdered an entire tribe of native people as an innocent victim!

Anyhow just as it sucks in Fates, it sucks even more in WoW, because the Horde is blatantly PoC Coded, as in minotaurs that live in tepees and say "How!"

Again even if I can't claim expertise on this matter have to disagree, as everything ive seen on wow lore and story writing indicates to me that it suffers both from casual racism and from benevolent sexism. It's one thing for instance to have an alliance character torturing a horde character and then frame it as the horde character being in the wrong, that falls into the casual racism aspect. But its also another thing to have the character being tortured in question be a female character being tortured in front of her child for shock value, that ties more so into the benevolent sexism angle because the fact that its a woman tied to motherhood with her child nearby implies an inherent aspect of purity and innocence.

this creates what you might casually call, intersectionality where its both casually racist and benevolently sexist as turlayon tortures a mother in front of her child to show off how hes an extremist [which i believe hes suppose to be in part from my understanding] to demonstrate how he did a bad thing by torturing a mother in front of her kid, but also because the narrative doesn't want you to think to badly about turlayon and still sympathize with him in some part the torture victim also has to be presented as deserving of her treatment in some part.

and this is honestly me assuming best case scenario, worst case scenario its turlayon torturing a wicked no good older woman character whos unpure and raised a child wrong [benevolent sexism] because of inherent flaws in horde culture and ideology [casual racism] by the arbitrary moral standards of the story and were suppose to regard turlayon as an upstanding moral figure because of this. again, worse case scenario, as i sure as shit hope that wasn't the wow writers intent.

which is all to say, casual racism and benevolent sexism dont have to be mutually exclusive issues. in fact they very often go hand in hand.

as for fates, well ive ragged on it a bit myself id say thats not a fair or equivocal comparison to make. They're are certainly jingoistic aspects of fates story leaned towards hoshidos favor, aspects weirdly enhanced by the english translations fumbling i might add, but what fates is as a story at its core is one about questioning binary narratives in relation to ones own morality. birthright is the stock beating up the bad guys story so its the most uncritical of things in its setting, conquest provides a direct contrast to that simplicity because your siding with the bad guys and hey turns out they're also humans with complicated facets, and the good guys are also complicated people who arent as squeaky clean as they appear and the reality of the situation is more messy then was first assumed and so you do messy complicated things on that route. and then revelations is there to mediate these two things into a single unified story and ending.

even if it fumbles to get there or express its points, fates is ultimately a story built on a foundation of questioning jingoistic narratives, not reinforcing them.

0 notes

yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

Solace (part 2)

SOLACE (part 2)

A part two but kinda works as a stand alone!!

A/n y’all seemed to like the first one so I thought I’d make a part two :)) This was NOT meant to be a series but now I kind of have an idea to make this a mini series where each part is kind of a blurb that connects to the last part and I think I might do that.

Pairing: General Kirigan/the Darkling x Heartrender! reader

Summary: The day after you go visit General Kirigan at night is also the day he decides he can become more honest about his intentions for you. The softness of it all is starting to get to you but you have a good friend to remind you that it’s okay to feel happy.

The sunlight peers into the room shyly. It stirs me awake into a soft bliss. Warmth. When was the last time I woke up feeling so warm? So rested? I squint my eyes open, still calm. But when my vision finally adjusts, I feel like ice all over again. This is not where I’m supposed to be.

Memories of sneaking here in the darkness of night, speaking to Kirigan so freely, and then letting him convince me to stay. He had seemed to want me here then, in the night when loneliness finds easy prey in even the most hardened individuals...but now, in the morning sunlight--he’ll regret it. We made it clear I’d stay only that night--and that night is now gone. Maybe he expects me to be gone before he rises. I know that’s what most men expect after taking company for the night, but we didn’t exactly partake in activities like that. I think what we did is worse.

Relations like that are about desire, falling asleep with someone else borders on intimacy. One misstep and who knows what I’ll invoke? I shift my gaze upwards, careful to not move in hopes of not disturbing the arms he’s draped across my back, holding me to him. Kirigan seems different in sleep, softer. His features are still sharp, but there’s something gentle about seeing him vulnerable. Something about the way his lashes brush against his cheeks and his lips stay parted just slightly. This moment can never repeat itself. It can never happen again, so I’ll have to hold onto this.

Cautiously, I prepare to slip out of his grasp even though it feels like its the only thing tethering me to this world. I touch his first hand, moving it off of me slowly. I wait a second, and when he remains unstirring I move his other hand.

“What are you so eager for, little wolf?” The raspy, tired quality of his voice leaves my stomach fluttering. His words jar me so much I find myself frozen.

He reaches lazily, placing an arm on the center of my back, trying to ease me back into place. “It’s morning now.”

His thumb brushes up and down my back in a way meant to lull me. “I’m the Shadow Summoner, the night lasts as long as I want it to.” He lets out an easy breath, “And I’m prolonging it.”

Ignoring the warmth the implications of his words bring, I decide to focus on how dramatic he is. “Dramatic even so early in the morning.”

Kirigan’s eyes flutter open, the slightest smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Watch yourself, little wolf.” There is no malice in his voice, only something hinting at teasing too humane for me to trust.

I roll my eyes, letting his fingers brush wherever he wants them to--up and down my back, down the arms I am too aware of. The desire to touch him easily, casually, just to prove that I have that privilege. I stretch, pushing down thoughts of rejection as I place a hand on his chest. He pauses, one hand frozen in place on my back. Slowly, he moves his hand away from me. I tense, preparing to retract my hand. He catches my hand before I can pull it away, moving it towards him easily until my hand is against his cheek.

“Y/n.” He’s called me my name so few times, and the restraint in his voice leaves me unnerved. “Will you wear a black kefta today?”

His color. Perhaps he meant the promise of solace more literally than I thought. Anyone who sees me will think I’ve been claimed by him in one way or another. Perhaps I have been. The thought stirs my chest, moving me in a way I can’t distinguish as a positive or negative. I feel myself being ensnared in a lovely trap, but when I look at him, at the honesty burning in his gaze, it’s almost as if he’s asking me to claim him.

“Yes.” Again the word leaves me as if willed by some outside force.

Kirigan’s intensity dwindles slightly. His hand drops from over mine, but I keep mine on his cheek, running my thumb across his skin. “You’ll do good for me today, little wolf.” His words leave no room for argument. I think speaking like that is a talent of his. “You always do so good for me.” The admiration in his words melt something in me, my entire body warmed in a way I don’t understand. Kirigan brushes his knuckles across my cheek again.

I’ve been silent for too long, each second I waste inflating his ego. “You’re suspiciously nice in the mornings.”

“You’re only skeptical because you never let anyone take care of you.” His words are chiding and the implication of them leaves my face warm. “So much promise,” he muses, hand trailing down my jawline, “So much power,” his fingers skim down my neck and across my collarbone. “I wonder what someone like you could do with an amplifier.”

An amplifier. I’ve seen them in use, and knowing what I could do with something that strengthens my already abrasive abilities. I could be a monster so easily. Kirigan must see some of my concern because he’s quick to sit up a little more in order to close the distance between us the way he did last night. He brushes his lips against my collarbone in a way that leaves me distracted by wanting. A wanting for what, I’m not sure. I ease into his touch.

“Today everyone will know what you are.” His voice is gentle against the base of my neck. “And they will know that we are meant to be equals.”

I feel the need to panic rise in my chest, but it’s dulled by the warmth his lips leave against my skin. “I’m only a Heartrender, I can’t be your equal.”

“You are,” he whispers, so assured, “With a heart as good as yours you may even be more.”

His words are too weighted for so early in the morning, but there is always tension with him. Shadows are meant to be weightless but I think they’re like anything else--carry enough of them and eventually you’ll break.

When he straightens I move to follow him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. “You’re good, too.” There has to be goodness in him. No one capable of such warmth and gentleness can be made up entirely of wicked things.

“You claimed I was a villain.”

Did my words really impact him so? “My opinion isn’t law.”

Something strange flickers across his features. “It might as well be.”

I swallow back a bundle of nerves. “Sometimes I’m wrong.”

The words crack something vulnerable in me. A part of me thinks he can feel the part of me that’s breaking in hopes of offering him something.

“You really are my solace.” I don’t know how to reciprocate such a gilded sentiment.

I rest my head against his shoulder, taking his hand. “I’m glad to be that.”

He squeezes my hand. “We should go get ready before people start to notice our absence.”

I consider reminding him what he told me last night, but he has a point. There’s a difference between a rumor of me pacing in the night and both of us showing up late at the same time. Still though, a part of me is already grieving this version of Kirigan. Outside of this room his coldness will return. ‘Just for tonight’. We had agreed on that. But when the night ended, and the morning sun colored us both sane again, he had asked me to wear his color.

“I’ll go get dressed,” I stay still.

Kirigan runs his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ll have a black kefta sent to you.”

That has to mean something. Wait--do I want it to mean something? I pull my hand away from his stiffly, standing because I know the longer I’ll wait the worse it will be. “I’ll see you during training.”

“My door will be unlocked after.”

At that, my chest swells. He’s offered me an opening. “Good to know.”

His eyes narrow slightly at my coyness. “Find me after?”

“Only because you’re nicer in here.” He wants me to come back.

The black kefta does not feel like my own. The color is too alluring, too dark and enthralling. It is not meant for someone like me. It feels borrowed, but I’m not entirely uncomfortable. It’s almost like he’s still with me, keeping me from being alone.

When I walk down the halls, I feel the stares of the others sticking to me like tar. They barely tolerated me before--the grisha plucked from the slums after a fateful night in which Kirigan saw the extent of my abilities.

“New clothes, l/n?”

Julian’s words coax an easy smile from me. Always so open, so accepting. Even now he doesn’t pester me about the black kefta. “I barely noticed.”

My lack of real response earns me a playful glare. “Is that the only explanation I get? Moving up the ranks without me?”

I roll my eyes. He’s joking, but he’s drawing more eyes to me. “I’m not leaving you, Julian.” He’s been too good a friend for me to leave. “Nothing’s changed except the color of my clothing.”

“Good.” Julian’s lips twitch upwards, offering me the kind of smile that’s earned him many trysts with many women. “I’d miss you too much.”

And while I doubt that my disappearance would do anything else than up his popularity, I appreciate the sentiment. “Oh I’m sure you’d find a way to find company.”

He half laughs, “What are you implying of my virtue?”

Laughing, I roll my eyes as we continue to walk down the halls. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

Julian reaches for me, touching my forearm. I stall. “In all seriousness, y/n, I really appreciate your friendship.”

Aw. Never did I think I’d have so many people to appreciate here. I think of Kirigan, of the vulnerability in his words and the new facet of him I saw last night that I somehow always knew he had in him. He may be a villain, or just one in the making, but he is more than a dark shadow. I find myself releasing I appreciate Kirigan too. It’s different than the way I care about Julian, more fragile, but it’s still a relationship I’ve created here.

I look down at the space where his hand touches my forearm. “I really appreciate your friendship, too. You’ve gotten me through a lot.”

“You need to give yourself some credit.” He releases my arm, turning to continue to walk forward.

I turn as well, “You should too.”

I look forward, and there, in the near distance is Kirigan. He’s staring at me, eyes lacking everything he had earlier. I offer him a small smile. He does not return it, his drops slowly to the ground. Weird. I guess he’s just turning on his indifference for a day of training. He asked me to wear his color, he asked me to come back.

Does he regret it? Maybe it was a premature request for me to wear his color so publicly. His gaze finds mine again, and with a tilt of his head he gestures for me to follow him.

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #general kirigan #genereal kirigan x reader #genereal kirigan imagine #grisha #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagine #grisha reader #shadow and bone show #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #imagine #x reader #my works

357 notes · View notes