#what the hell is going on with me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

primordialchoice · 5 months

Text

I have never felt more insecure of my muse in my life.

#ooc : the mortal #what the hell is going on with me #vent tw #negative tw #i feel like I've lost her completely #I'm staring at my drafts and all i feel is complete dread #i think i desperately need a palate cleanse

10 notes · View notes

stephstars08 · 2 months

Text

Ugh! I feel like everything I’ve been writing lately I end up hating it! I really hoping I get back on my mojo soon!!! I’m so sorry!!!

#ugh #I’m in such a bad slump #having a hard time #what the hell is going on with me #I feel so bad #ahhh #I need a pillow to scream in

0 notes

keets-writing-corner · 4 months

Text

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

14K notes · View notes

sincerity--extreme · 8 months

Text

I absolutely HATE IT when I get random mood swings, I'm fine and then suddenly I'm angry and then I'm fine again and out of nowhere I'm feeling such a heavy sadness I think it's a new depressive episode but then, out of nowhere again I'm fine, laughing with whatever is happening on the TV, mind clear and light, but then I blink and suddenly I'm crying and so incredibly overwhelmed but... Why? Nothing happened, why am I overwhelmed? No one knows, even less me, but I'm stressed out to a point I'm dissociating but it keeps going in and out, if that makes sense, I go back and forth, I'm "conscious" and then I'm not and then I am and that keeps happening until I go to bed at night

#what the hell is going on with me #I can't take it #being aware that's happening is even more overwhelming cause I don't #have any explanation as to why it is happening #anxiety

1 note · View note

greengirllover · 17 days

Text

oh wow

2K notes · View notes

trailerparkdarlingxx · 16 days

Text

fuck zodiac signs do you also kinda feel excruciatingly unlovable in every way possible sometimes

2K notes · View notes

chloesimaginationthings · 13 days

Text

The tragedy of being William Afton’s daughter in FNAF..

3K notes · View notes

spectral-honey · 2 years

Text

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #i also think it would be funny if thats literally the only thing jason does as a lawyer after that he just goes back to being a vigilante #everyone on the internet is like 'the iconic career of jason todd wayne: came back from the dead got a college degree got the joker-#-sentenced to death (finally) and then immediately fucked off to do whatever the hell it is he does for fun'#any time bruce and jason disagree jasons like 'excuse me which one of us is the college drop out and which of us is a practicing attorney?'#alfred 'you could have been a doctor but you became a furry themed vigilante instead' will never let this go #also btw jason just stole reasources from the league to get thru college. maybe at first talia was like what & then jason was like #'my alternate plan was to either get bruce to kill the joker or kill all three of us in an explosion' and talia is like #'okay. have fun at school sweetie'#BTW AN EDIT: this post is not reflective of my IRL beliefs about the criminal justice system or the death penalty #IRL those are way more complicated than gotham city/the joker/jason make it out to be #saw a few people tagging this post mentioning stuff about that

29K notes · View notes

datcravat · 3 months

Text

CAPCOM Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney Trilogy & Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective promotional artwork by Datcravat (me haha)

#my art #apollo justice #ace attorney #ghost trick #look at me tryina keep it cool in the caption ahahah. allow me to go insane a bit here #AKSJHDKJAHDKAHS HWAT THE HELL WHAT THE FUCK HWT AHTGJSKDHFKSDHFJSDHF THEY COMMISSIOENDN MEEE!!!#TO DRAW MY FAVES #WHAT THE GFHSJKDHFSKJDHFSD #FIM #UFNF #IM XFUJGHSDDJHFSJFDHSJDFHJSFJSDFJSDHF #OKAY BABAYYYY1! OH BABBY!!! OIOHHHHHHHHOO #art

2K notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

Text

Lap Pillow

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic.#WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is.#We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple.#Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain.#Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it.#I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj!#Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for.#For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping)#He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about.#LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic.#My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this

2K notes · View notes

grapemoon · 1 year

Text

#polls #tumblr polls #HELL YEAH BABYYYYYYY #boy i die! shit boy #it’s me boy i’m the ps5 #homestuck #wv homestuck #mayor homestuck #nounboy #look at my head boy #i’ve abandoned my boy #ive abandoned my boy #its me boy im the ps5 #go white boy go #meme #boy what the hell boy

9K notes · View notes

parallelpie · 5 months

Text

First off this absolutely cursed AU was inspired by Lemonomelette and a post they made -X Secondly I imagine it all being about bots and cons trying to one up each others factions and not actually helping in any serious way because their too busy with their own faction bs.

Think of two rival car dealerships across the street one upping each other to get business and instead of business with cars its interstellar robot fairys trying to woo sm children to let them grant their inconsequential wishes (which may or may not be worth it) instead of the other guy next door.

2K notes · View notes

pachimation · 11 months

Text

a secret rendezvous in fontaine

#genshin impact #chiscara #scarachilde #childe #scaramouche #feelin delusional in the club tonight thinking about the childe in fontaine storyline leaks #wonder what hes gonna do there… do a bit of harbingering perhaps? kiss scara?#endless possibilities for me. someone who is absolutely insane #hhhh cant believe black butler is coming back in the year of our lord 2024 i’ll be 21 by then omg #BROOOO new idea red wine and black butler watch party w my irls we’re going to be so fucking cringe hell yeah #my art

3K notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 4 months

Text

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #john gaius #harrow the ninth #this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL #this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships #(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think #the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real #but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god #when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care #(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on #it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there #while john is -- well he sure is being john huh #this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end #(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up #john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too

1K notes · View notes

ascesabo · 5 months

Text

the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.

and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach

#one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #zolu #what the hell is wrong with him #the very definition of becoming bewitched body and soul #do you get me #luffy is zoro's helen of troy #in that #he'd launch a thousand ships to put a smile on luffy's face #i need to crack open that mossy green head of his and see what's going on inside #has anyone told oda that he could possibly be cooking one of the greatest love stories the shounen genre has ever seen #one piece is a 26 year long ongoing slowburn #luffy: it's rotten work!!! ^_^#zoro: yeah i fuckin know but god what does it matter. it's for you #pls dont tag as platonic lmao

1K notes · View notes

greengirllover · 17 days

Text

881 notes · View notes