#what kind of obsession is this 😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roobylavender · 5 months

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a random thought but i really am very obsessed with how deeply committed bruce is to his love of people and to the extent that it’s a regular divide between him and talia. not that she is without love, no, hardly so, but love will never come before principle for her in the sense that the principle does stem from love, but from a selfless love, not a selfish one. and i use these two descriptors purely as a means of analyzing perspective, so selfless and selfish not necessarily as moral indicators as they are often used today but merely as expressions of whether you’re acting for the sake of others or for yourself. talia is someone repeatedly acting at expense to herself for the sake of others. she gives her child away, she ends her marriage, she doesn’t say a word about it again for years despite having the chance, she takes on a high level espionage mission without speaking a word to her ex-lover, maybe to protect herself, maybe to protect him. whether those were worthwhile decisions to take is certainly debatable, but she acts near strictly from a perspective of caring about others and the world first. bruce is comparatively a very selfish person. every victim an extension of his own trauma, every grief taken to heart, every desperation for companionship so heavily internalized that he ends up pushing people away bc at some point he can’t bear to take them down under with him in his sorrow. it’s funny that he tries to be the rational voice in a room bc up to a point he is, but he also cares too much about his own personal affairs to be that way consistently

and in light of all of that i am thinking about the conversations he and talia must have in that alternate universe where damian is normal and newly revealed to both of them as a concrete concept in their lives, for bruce as the son he never had and for talia as the son she gave away, come back to them by way of fate. why did you never tell me you didn’t actually miscarry. why did you never tell me you had a son and you gave him away. why did you pretend like it was over when it never was. why did you look me repeatedly in the eyes over the years like there wasn’t something more that was there. when you said you couldn’t talk about it before i boarded a plane back home i held my tongue. when you let yourself be beaten within an inch of your life bc your city was falling to pieces i held my tongue. when my father took the contingency plans you made and used them to turn your friends against you i held my tongue. when i worked for a man who would for all intents and purposes use the knowledge of my relationship with you against you i held my tongue

how can bruce, a person so wrapped up in his love for people, not understand the number of sacrifices that talia has had to make for his own sake. her repeated protection of him, of his sanity, of his sanctity, is simultaneously her greatest crime and her greatest benevolence to him. she carried that grief of loss for years and years bc of how important bruce is to her. and bruce loves her, loves damian, too much to even begin to understand what love means outside of the parameters of his own feelings for them. that is his dilemma writ large wrt people he loves. that he can’t see the extent of what they do for him, bc he loves them too much and doesn’t know how to get out of the sheer grief and possessiveness of it

#bruce wayne #talia al ghul #he’s like an asian mom kind of. but yeah like i think this is the one thing i am willing to cede to anti bruce people #albeit it makes me more obsessed with him rather than makes me hate him lmao #like idk i think it’s fascinating how like. inadvertently self obsessed he is #like i really don’t think he does it on purpose he’s simply. incredibly attached to the people he cares about #and that kind of messes everything else up bc it’s like #he does the mature thing. physically. he lets people leave and he doesn’t retaliate against their anger (ntt abuse begone)#he kinda sorta just sits with it. but that’s exactly the problem 😭 like bro. process. process..#not everything is about you and how sad and pathetic and miserable you are of your own choice!#sometimes you have to think about what other people are doing for you! bc they love you and that’s love too!#you can’t infantilize the people in your life bc you care about them. you can’t rob them of their capacity to care for you in equal measure #personal essays

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envyadams-vs-me · 2 years

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RONANCE BAND AU FINALE!!

(I don't think this really counts as a 'band' but idk at this point lmao)

"Nance, I love ya, but you're an idiot. Now is not the time to push her away! You should be leaning into her love!"

Steve had been lecturing Nancy for the better part of an hour once Nancy had calmed down enough to tell him what was going on. He had let her vent about work and the over scheduling, then when she was level headed again he yelled at her for making his best friend cry.

"Nance, you are sending all wrong signals and making her confused. Either you're in love with her or you're not, it's that simple."

Nancy huffed and crossed her arms, "You know I'm in love with her, Steven."

"Then tell her that!"

"I can't just walk up to her and say, hey guess what? I'm in love with you!"

"Nancy, please, you could absolutely do that. What's the hold up, for real?"

Nancy sighed as she let her head gently fall back on the uncomfortable seat of the Uber she was forced to ride in, "She deserves the world, Steve. If I'm going to tell her, it has to be perfect."

She could practically see Steve shaking his head like she was the biggest idiot, but it was true and he knew it. "Not everything can be perfect, Nance. This has gotten way out of hand, and now you have to find a way to fix it."

Nancy rolled her eyes, "You're not even going to try and help me? She's your friend too?"

"Hey, I am helping you by doing damage control! You're on your own for the rest of it."

Nancy chuckled at his exasperation and nodded. "You're right."

"Damn right I am."

More hushed laughter, and Nancy smiled, "Thanks, Steve."

"Anytime, Nance. Now go get your girl, and apologize!"

Nancy looked at her apartment building as the car approached, "I'm gonna try."

Nancy hadn't talked to Robin since that day, too confused and too scared of saying the wrong thing. Now a week later, Nancy was preparing for her biggest performance yet and everything was going wrong. Robin was secretly grateful for all the chaos, giving her something else to focus on other than her heartbreak, but even this was becoming too much for her.

"Robin, thank god !"

The blonde turned around at the speed of light as the performance director called out for her. Preparing for the worst she squeezed the phone in her hand anxiously, "Vickie, please give me some good news, please."

Vickie flashed her a tense smile and Robin knew things had gotten even worse. "Ugh!" She groaned, throwing her body against the wall to her right and sliding down it dramatically. She looked back up at Vickie, "What now?"

"Okay so, in addition to all the other stuff that has happened today, the sound guys have 'misplaced' aka stupidly deleted Nancy's music for tonight and I just found out that her back up singer's will not be coming due to 'transportation issues'."

Robin groaned even louder as she stood up from the wall, "Alright, we gotta go break the news to Nance then try and find a way to fix this."

Before Vickie could object, she was being pulled by the wrist towards Nancy's dressing room. Robin hadn't been in a room alone with Nancy since last time and she wasn't going to start now.

Robin barrelled through the door, pulling Vickie in behind her, then quickly shut it not wanting people to gossip about the situation. The brunette was borderline hyperventilating, and gripped at the handles of her chair. "Please tell me, there's good news?"

Her big pleading eyes looked into Robin's soul and she had to force herself to turn away, ignoring the ache in her chest. Vickie stepped closer, only having the ability to look at Nancy through the mirror. "Unfortunately, no."

The moment Nance learned the severity of the situation she was in, her eyes widened, "Shit! Robin, what am I going to do? Where are my backup singers?"

Robin without hesitation, Involuntarily shouted out, "Where my backup singers!" In reference to Patty Labell (?). Nancy looked at her, every ounce of stress leaving her, and genuinely laughed for the first time in days.

Vickie joined in on the laughter and so did Robin as she flushed a little in shock of herself, "I'm sorry. It just kinda came out."

Nancy waved off her unneeded apology and stood up, pulling Rovin in for a hug. The blonde couldn't resist her touch and she squeezed Nancy as if they hadn't seen each other in years. Nancy whispered into her ear, "Thank you, Robin." Before pulling away and facing Vickie.

"Okay, I've got a plan."

Robin should've known that Nancy's plan involved her in some way, but she was still flying high from their semi-reconciliation that she wasn't too focused on the other things going on around her. It wasn't until she was being shoved into a makeup chair that it was too late.

"Oh my god, Wheeler no!"

Robin turned around in the uncomfortable folding chair she was told to sit in and looked at the singer who stood behind her, "I'm not going on stage with you."

Nancy unfolded her arms to flap them against her sides, "Robin, come on, it's just on song. Please?"

Robin turned back around, not getting caught up in Nancy's antics. She crossed her arms, huffing like a child, "No offense, Nance, but I don't know any of your songs. I wouldn't even know when to back you up. Plus I'm not good at singing, let alone singing in front of a whole bunch of people who will definitely be judging me."

Nancy strolled up behind the chair and laid her hands on either side of Robin's head, looking at her through the mirror, "We changed the song. I'm doing a live performance, technically a duet wth you, and I know for a fact you know this song. I'll nod at you when you need to come in, and you'll just keep singing until the music stops okay?"

Robin worried her lip between her teeth as she thought it over. She looked up at the girl behind her, who somehow looked even prettier in this awkward position, and exhaled a breath. "Nance, I really don't know. What if-"

Nancy's moved her hands to cup Robin's face and a beat passed where each girl just stared in aw at the other. She had to pull herself out of Robin's big blue eyes and get back on track. "I'll be right there with you, Robin. I promise everything will be okay. We'll be up there for 2 and a half minutes tops, then we'll be back here and on our way home."

Robin couldn't help the way her eyes flashed to Nancy's lips as she felt her mouth drying up. Her eyebrows pulled together, ready to spring more doubtful thoughts at Nancy, but the brunette was too quick.

"Please, Robin." Nancy felt as if some magnetic force was pulling her face closer to the blonde below her, but it was probably just the temptation of her lips. "I need you." Her voice barely a whisper, words spoken just for Robin.

"Okay."

The door burst open so quickly, the pair of girls screamed in surprise nearly knocking heads. An overworked Vickie, panting from the run over to the room, looked between them. "You've got five minutes, is she in?"

Robin nodded, "I'm in."

This time Vickie dramatically draped herself against the door, muttering out a "Thank god.", before waving in makeup artists and talking into her earpiece. She gave the girls one more look while saying, "You don't have time to change, so you're casual today. You need to be up front in three minutes. Three!" Within a second Vickie had vanished, rushing off to double check everyone was doing their job.

Nancy gave Robin a thumbs up and a smile as strangers powered her face. They gave her a 'natural' look due to the time crunch (though Nancy claimed it was because of her natural beauty) and she waited for Nancy to grab her guitar before the pair rushed to the stage.

Seats were set up for them, as well as microphones. Nancy sat on the right, checking her watch and muttering, "Two minutes to spare." Robin awkwardly sat next to her and fought the urge to bite her nails.

The light dimmed and Nancy gave her a quick smile before placing her hands on the guitar, "Showtime."

Robin took a deep breath and tried to convince her body that her rapid heartbeat was from excitement and not fear. Soon the lights were on above them, hot against her back, and Nancy counted herself off.

(Cue 'Monster' from the Adventure Time Obsidian movie)

A familiar song began to fall from Nancy's lips and Robin whipped her head toward the singer. She was transfixed on the way her voice dripped with emotion as she sang, 'But don't beat yourself up, Robin, it wasn't just the sun that I was hiding from.'

It became crystal clear to Robin that, in that moment, Nancy was singing a love song, for her. Not Steve, not Johnathan (her highschool sweetheart). Just Robin.

Tears filled her eyes and she forced herself to focus on the song, remembering that they were live and she couldn't mess this up for Nancy.

'...and I'm still scared that I'm not good enough.' Nancy glanced at Robin, whom she knew hadn't looked away from her, and nodded. There was a moment of hesitation before Robin pulled herself together with an, "Oh." And continued with the song.

Nancy's heart jumped as she heard Robin sing. She knew what this song meant to Robin, knew that when she sang 'I've always felt like a monster, long before I was big.', just exactly what that meant to Robin.

Soon both girls had tears falling from their eyes as looked at each other and sang out, 'But loving you's a good problem to have, and I'm used to that. Yeah I could get used to this.'

Robin couldn't finish the last of the song, too busy muffling her cries from the microphone and feeling the wave of Nancy's love washing over her. Nancy experterly blinked back her tears, only a few managing to free fall, as she looked at Robin while finishing the song, 'You're the pink in my cheeks and I love that it means, I'm a little bit soft.'

There was no way of stopping the actions that followed. Robin, still fully spilling over with emotion, stood up to grab Nancy's face in a kiss. Nancy maneuvered her guitar out of the way so she could pull Robin closer by her waist.

The startling eruption of cheers and applause was the only thing to break the two apart in a mixture of embarrassment and laughter. Robin wiped away her tears, as Nancy grabbed her hand and waved goodbye to the audience.

Once they were behind closed doors again Robin hugged Nancy and burst into tears again. The brunette reassuringly held her as she sobbed into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Nance. I was jealous of Steve and acting all stupid. I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

Nancy pulled Robin to the floor so she could comfortably lean on her. She dragged the blonde's face from her shoulder and made sure to look her in the eyes as she talked, "Robin you have nothing to be sorry for. I only pushed you away because I was too stressed out to see you were hurting. You do so much for me and I love how much you care for me."

Robin's tears stopped flowing as she sniffled in a breath, and even though her face was dripping with snot, Nancy thought she'd never looked so beautiful. She tucked a hair behind Robin's ear and laid her forehead against the blonde's. "I love you, Robin."

The blonde grinned and tackled Nancy with a hug. The brunette landed on her back, squeezing Robin as she tumbled on top of her. They laughed and took their time standing up, enjoying tht comfort of each others presence that they had been denying themselves.

Once Nancy helped Robin clean up her face, another kiss was planted on her lips. She looked at Robin, who was staring back at her in adoration, and felt the most intense feeling of happiness she had ever felt.

#oh yeah #thats the good shit 😭#they are in love!!#they def end up trending on twitter as everyone obsesses over their fanfic relationship-#theres definitely a post made by max thats like 'what kind of wattpad fanic is this?'#steddie was screaming in delight when they watched their besties finally kiss #anyways its over #ronance #ronance modern au #ronance band au #robin and nancy #nancy and robin #robin buckely #nancy wheeler #stranger gays #stranger gays modern au

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