It was so nice knowing you guys, unfortunately this ended me

I'm so dead I'm actually posting this from the great beyond. Don't forget me guys. Be sure to leave pretty flowers on my grave tyvm.

Source: @ theskimm on TikTok

One of the great things about fiber arts (at least to me) is that... you outright own the things you make. It's hard for me to comprehend actually owning something, and that's that. The item you have created doesn't need to come with strings attached (pun intended).

In a world where you are constantly buying things but not owning any of it, truly, it's such an odd experience to actually have ownership of your labour, time, and love like that.

what i really love about black butler is they said what if there was one little boy and for some unknown reason absolutely unhinged occult stuff ALWAYS happened around him

they try to play it off by being like “oh he’s a phantomhive, they deal w all kinds of stuff” but then they make it very clear that this little boy is the only one who has to deal with shit like demons and shinigami and werewolves and zombies, etc

like no one is super surprised when he’s like “oh just another day dismantling the zombie factory” but there’s also a distinct “wtf do you mean zombie factory” air to it

queen: there’s witches and werewolves in germany that you have to deal with ciel: why the fuck do i have to go to germany (his only problem w that sentence)

and then the little boy has the audacity to be like “tbh don’t really believe this witch and werewolf thing :/“ to his DEMON butler

I literally woke up in the middle of the night like God will dark rise is so fucking screwed. The line that’s like. “Everyone wanted to kill the Dark King.” What’s the part where he looks at Violet helplessly, haunted, almost pleading for mercy? But of course he reveals nothing of substance to anyone. Elizabeth is too young to understand but the reader knows what “Her relationship with that boy was…unnatural” can mean. Tying him to bedposts? Failing to strangle him? What else? Never not even once seeing beyond a mythological identity Will himself didn’t know he had? What did he think was the reason? That he was just intrinsically hateful? Of course he says nothing. Of course Violet can’t trust him- he’s given her nothing as painfully real as what she’s given him. So he gives her the sword hoping at least he can die at the hands of someone he loved, but even that doesn’t work out - she gives the sword to a Visander still furious at SARCEAN. The pattern continues; no one looks at Will, who vomits when he realizes what’s happened to James, Will who is much of a liar and killer and sneak as Elizabeth accuses but nonetheless wants to be different. Even when he doesn’t remember his own past. There’s no way out for him that doesn’t hurt. Hope this obsession passes soon given the one and a half years of waiting required for book 3

You said in tags once that pedophiles and child predators aren't the same, can you explain why? /GEN

For the same reason that people with any kind of attraction to anyone ever aren't all rapists/don't all pursue romantic/sexual feelings that could or definitely would hurt the other person. Because paraphilias are simply the morally neutral state of experiencing attraction and rape/grooming is Not That. Because people *choose* to hurt others, but not what they feel. Because a good majority of child sexual abusers aren't even pathologically/paraphilically attracted to children, they *just want to hurt them because they can.* Because they're dissatisfied with something in life, or want a punching bag, or want to feel powerful, etc etc.

It's not really different conceptually from physical abuse. Do people do it because they have icky feelings about liking blood or violence? No. They do it to feel powerful. Sexual abuse is not about sex but about power. Hope this answers your question. I've answered it a good million times on this blog but eh I'm in a generous mood.

in all honesty, im feeling a bit burned out on totk, the more i think about it the more i dislike its story and lore, i dont know what to make of it it being so loved by everyone else makes me feel like theres something wrong about me :/ gonna try and take a step back from it all

21.09.23, thursday

!! today bad !! woke up to a sleep paralysis and it just kept going downhill from there; tried to update my laptop’s software and it got stuck, so now that’s the 2nd laptop that has stopped working for me this week. Literally fuck this week, I’m so done ughhh. How is that even like possible

things done today:

fucked up my laptop

sat around, full of rage & defeat

stress-watched Succession (for the emotional support of seeing kendall sit around in defeat 24/7 bc that’s me right there)

Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

the beach conversation is insane actually im always being so mean to 13 for how closed off she is but it's insane what she does here like "ive never been able to", "it's what my life is", "not because i dont want to"

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much but lets play doctors and students and reenact the anatomy lesson dr nicolaes tulp you be the doctor and the students and i'll be the body hang on let me hold up a lamp so you can see what we're doing

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much i locked my hearts in this rusty vault and lost the keys but if i had a spare i would give you it i swear i promise i know thats not enough but i'd give it to you

"i cant fix myself" is how she starts. "i'll be fine, in the end, hopefully" she says like an hour after regenerating after describing just how much it fucks her up and how scary it is and how painful and how much of a gamble, really, how much of a leap of faith and hoping for the best, hoping for that net to appear because if it doesnt......... theres no backup

are you alright, doctor? are you okay? yaz has asked a hundred times without getting an answer. and now she finally does and it seems to recontextualise every dodge that has come before. stop asking, it's not the end yet, theres still time, a little more patience, i will figure it out, i will be able to give you a yes eventually im sure of it.

but now it is the end, regeneration looms again, time is running out, and this endlessly delayed answer sounds like a resignation. i cant do it. not in time. maybe not ever. but definitely not before the plane crashes and i take you down with me. i broke the universe and i cant fix it. it's too late. i dawdled too much.

and what this could have been, but isnt, because neither of them take it this way, think of it this way, because theyre too much alike, and not like this at all, but what this could have been, in intention and reception, is a request for help. i give up, i cant figure this out, but can you? the doctor doesnt mean this, and yaz has always been too attentive to the limits, too respectful of the doctor's boundaries (from "who, me? no. never doubted. don't know what you mean" in ghost monument to "can we just live in the present") to misinterpret it this way. so theyre on the same page. a page, as always, decided on by the doctor. but it does make the perfect set up for the finale

because i do think, sort of, that yaz fixed it. not you know the millennia of trauma but the specific inability of 13 to trust people. the clara/river/missy/bill my-friends-die-or-are-not-what-they-seem-or-both cant-hold-anyones-hand-but-my-own inability to trust her friends are her friends and they will not like explode into gore and viscera if she touches them (which now that ive said it i bet is what she has nightmares about. perfect match with what i think yaz has nightmares about which is the doctor exploding into gore and viscera and not being able to do anything abt it. actually the best idea i think ive ever written abt what yaz has nightmares about is "or you take off your coat and youre wearing dynamite", but i digress) that, i think yaz sort of fixes when she saves the doctor and saves the world and i think if 13 had lived she'd have trusted yaz after that in a way she couldnt before and maybe even that realisation of "you saved my life" in that weird malleable state of post-pseudoregeneration might have had a hand in why 14 is the way he is

Hey, guys, I hate to do this but I'm in a bind, and I need help moving - my fucking asshole of a landlord told me this past week that he's not renewing my lease in September and he refuses to let me wait until Jan or Feb when I'll have income tax money - so I need to raise $5,000 by then because he's already told me he'll start the eviction process at that point, and I don't want that on my record

I made a gofundme or if you don't want to deal with them, my cashapp is $darkangel0410, and if you guys could reblog this i'd really appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️

I totally understand why Gortash had to die facing the netherbrain - thematically it makes total sense. HOWEVER I really wish he hadn't died because it would have made things much worse for my Dark Urge Vesper. Namely, they would have actually had to choose between their romance with Gale and whatever the hell they had going on with Gortash. And it would not be an easy choice!

Gale loves Vesper and Vesper loves Gale and it's sweet and nice and lovely and maybe a little obsessive but. Well. It's sweet. There are no teeth. And Gale can't ever really understand them the way Gortash does. He makes them a better person. But that means they're constantly on, always fighting their instincts, always trying to be better.

Vesper and Gortash want to eat each other. They play their sick twisted mind games with each other because they both love it. Gortash knows Vesper, has seen them at their most monsterous, and wants them anyway. Wants them because of it. With him, they can be their worst and truest self.

And that's the question at the heart of it - what do they want? A sweet and uncomplicated love, one that will make them a better person, the kind of person that they might like to be, but who will never really understand them, never play their favorite vicious games with them? Or do they want to spiral down into an all consuming relationship that will have the two of then tearing each other apart with their teeth in perfect mutual harmony, to be totally understood, to give in to their worst impulses, lean into the manipulative push and pull schemes that they so enjoy?

people talk a lot about how Mapleshade shouldn't have tried to cross the river during a storm, but tbh Bluestar shouldn't have taken her kits out in a blizzard either

at what point am i to blame for what adhd does to me. at what point is it "adhd made it fucking physically impossible for me to focus today so i didnt do much work and hate it" versus just "i didnt do much work." am i allowed to feel shitty about it or is that just wallowing

eliot and the security team union was so fucking cute also I’d die for all of them