#what did I do how do I atone for my transgression
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#the horror of trying to share a beautiful fanart but tumblr won't let you like reblog or queue it for some reason#on mobile or desktop#and then you realize you can't view op's blog so they must've blocked you#obviously block who you want but I will forever live in torment knowing I can't just scroll through my tdp tag and see that masterpiece#what did I do how do I atone for my transgression
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I have finally thought of something! Maybe. I don't know, it just occurred to me. So my idea is that the reader is human and considering how the fae like and enjoy belittling and degrading humans - Cardan included - it could reach a point where reader feels as though she can't do anything correctly. So she just kind of curls into herself and she just feels completely hopeless with everyday life. If it's set before Cardan is king and they're all still in school, then it could be a massive declining in her grades and when she has to eat lunch she just doesn't in fear of being judged for it. I guess Cardan will take advantage of that and make her completely dependant on him. So basically, he's the asshole for making her feel like that in the first place but then he "redeems" himself by claiming he'll look out for her and essentially just takes the reigns on her entire life. Hope you're alright!
hi!
warnings: i’m wicked tired so this might be incoherent; food; mentions of food; allusions to weight loss; bullying; cardan actually being cruel; controlling cardan; cardan kinda treating you like a baby in the end
THE WORLD IS OURS
It was no secret that you were intelligent. More than that. You could be considered a genius by faerie standards, never mind mortal ones.
But it was no secret that your special quality had left you a long time ago, much like the light in your eyes and the love you held for yourself and the world. Everything had become so bleak with the vile words that dripped from his tongue so easily, every sentence branding itself into your head disturbingly.
At night it was all you could think of. And then, you realized, that he was right. Cardan was right, the disgusting boy who could never seem to leave you alone no matter how much you showed him that you were not worth his time. He only fought harder when he heard that.
You saw him less and less now that you had stopped trying. You hid somewhere in the back when you were in school; you no longer ate with the rest of your peers, instead moving somewhere else to mull over your failure. The death of all things good about you.
Every thought turned sour. Every day became rotten.
And it was all your fault.
~*~
It was no secret that you were his.
He had made it abundantly clear from the beginning. You did not respond well to it, turning him away with the smug look that always sat on your face, the righteousness that always hung around you like a cloak. It was addicting.
You were addicting.
You were lovely and smart and beautiful and you knew it, too. But the air of superiority that he wanted to crack, just slightly to worm his way into your heart, had shattered. His weak, weak human. So fragile, like a flower plucked from the ground.
You no longer ate with them. You no longer studied with them. You no longer smiled or laughed or even cried. He pushed you to your limit–even farther, for you had broken long before. It hurt him more than you would know.
Only when he saw how hollow your cheeks had grown, how dull your eyes had gotten had he realized what he had done, the transgressions he had so carelessly committed. He slammed his door when he had gotten into the castle. He had snapped pens over papers in which he had started letters to you, papers which he had just written your name hundreds upon hundreds of times.
“My sweet angel,” he whispered, tracing the familiar letters of your name over again with his finger, blackened with ink. “I will not allow you to languish. I will atone for my sins just as you have for yours. I swear.”
~*~
You did not expect to see Cardan Greenbriar sitting on your picnic blanket with a basket, free of his usual posse, but not free of a scowl.
It was not a welcome sight.
“What are you doing?” you asked, looking down your nose at him, lying on his side, lounging in your sanctuary. While it was open, it was still yours. He would not take that too.
“What are you doing?”
“That–I’m sitting down. On my blanket. Yours is over there, Cardan.” Your eyebrows furrowed and your arms crossed defensively. He only smiled, ironically soft. You could not look angry if you tried. You were too tired, too weakened for a show of strength. You knew that better than anyone.
“Nicasia can keep it company. Have you eaten today, darling?” he asked, turning away from you, opening the basket. He put his hand inside, but turned to you before he could. He shrugged, his eyes widening comically. “Well? Sit down, won’t you? Lunch doesn’t last forever, dearest.”
You ignored the pet name, sitting down at his command. Ridiculous, you thought. It was your blanket.
“This is my blanket,” you said again. You mentally slapped yourself. Dumb. No wonder he thought you were dumb.
“I’m well aware of that. Now eat something, won’t you?”
“I’m not hungry.” You were. But you would not eat in front of him. You would not be compared to an animal again.
“I wasn’t asking.”
~*~
Cardan was suffocating. Once upon a time he had despised you. Now he was treating you like he would someone under his care.
At the beginning of the day, just before you left for school, he would be there, holding food and demanding you take his arm. Then, you two would share a blanket during your lessons. His arm would be around your waist and he would ask if you were too cold. Then you two would eat together. There would be more lessons, and then he’d walk you home. He’d leave you with a kiss on the forehead.
But he would not quite leave. Not really.
He would return later in the night. He would spend hours with you. He’d rub your back as you fell asleep. Sometimes, he’d even sleep with you, leaving you in the morning.
He was always there.
You had not known a moment without him. Not a moment without you being taken into his arms, being told that you were the most exquisite creature to roam the Earth, not a moment without his lips leaving your skin.
It needed to end.
~*~
“Cardan, why can’t you just hate me again! It’s suffocating! You despise me, what are you doing?!?”
The crown on his head was tilted, but it did not take away from the poise he oozed. He had given up drinking months before, becoming colder to the world. But he never seemed to not soften when you walked into the room, demanding you sit with him.
“Darling–”
“No. I’m not your darling. You need to stop, King Cardan.”
“You are really referring to me as king when you are queen?” He had stolen the crown that sat atop his head. He had killed off his brothers when they had threatened you. His father died and he had stolen that bloody, jeweled crown. “Stop this nonsense, dear, and sit with me. It’s getting late, and you’re not thinking straight.” He got up from his throne, swiftly moving toward you. He gathered you up in his arms, pressing his lips to the top of your head. “Come on, darling, you must be tired.”
“I am thinking straight.” You struggled in his hold to no avail. “My head is more than clear. You hate me. Go back to hating me. There are far too many reasons for you to hate me rather than treat me like this.”
“You deserve everything I offer you, sweetness. You deserve every ounce of affection I give you and more. The world will be yours whether you want it or not.”
“I don’t want it. I want to go home. Cardan, please–”
“You are home.” You were swept off your feet. “Now come on. We should go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”
#cardan greenbriar#cardan greenbriar x reader#cardan greenbriar x you#cardan x reader#cardan x you#dark cardan greenbriar#dark cardan#dark cardan x reader#dark cardan x you#tfota#the folk of the air#the cruel prince#the cruel prince x reader#tcp#tcp x reader#tcp x you
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cornered animal
u guys r such a hivemind. i can respect that. i hear u loud and clear
masterlist bingo card
tw vampire whumper, vampire whumpee, lady whumper, conditioning, dehumanisation, begging, sadistic whumper
"Please, leave me be," Helle said shakily, backing away from their sire as she kept advancing on them. "Have I not complied with all of your requests? Have I not been perfect?"
Lady Marie laughed, a soft sound, almost fond. "Oh, perfect is a very strong word to describe what you are. It is true that you have improved in certain areas, and you are getting better at following orders. But perfect? Perfect is a long way off, pet."
"I am trying my best." Desperation was evident in their voice, and in every move they made. Their room wasn't the most spacious, if it could be called a room at all. Their back soon hit the wall, and they realised they had nowhere to run. "Mistress, please, you really have no reason to torment me further. I understand. I do. I, I apologise for my inability to serve you better, but I will improve more, and you shall have a perfect servant in no time. I promise. Please."
"I have been promised many things in life and death alike," she said thoughtfully, coming to a stop outside of arm's reach. Thank god. "Not many of them kept, now that I think about it. And you, pet, are a practised liar; one of your many great talents, one might say."
"I would not dare lie to you, Mistress," they said hastily. "There was a time when I thought I could fool you, and that time is long past. I know my place, now. You– you have made it very clear." They pressed into the wall even more, and they felt a sudden surge of empathy towards the humans they had been hunting for the past decades. They were all but cornered animals in Lady Marie's world, whether alive or undead didn't matter one bit.
"So why do you think I came to visit you, then?"
Helle didn't know. They wished they had, but they were wrecking their head for any little transgressions they might've committed and coming up empty. "I, I honestly do not know, I thought I was doing an adequate job! If I made a mistake, it was out of ignorance, and I can do better if you tell me how. I am eager to do better for you, Mistress, please, give me a chance. One chance without punishment. Please."
"You are not thinking about the right things. Let me give you a hint, pet: you have done nothing wrong recently that would be deserving of a punishment. Now, try again."
Their head was spinning. They were too stressed to be figuring out Lady Marie's motivations, especially given how unpredictable she could be. If they hadn't made a mistake, then why, why was she in their cell? Why did she have that bloodthirsty smile on her face, why did she look at them like they were prey, why did she come at an hour that usually meant cruel whippings and silver pressed against their tongue?
"I do not– do not have the faintest idea, Mistress," they choked out. "I apologise. I have made so many mistakes in the past, punishments are all I can recall."
"Endearing," she teased. "Well, that all changes tonight! Tonight, you will learn a lesson other than atoning for past actions."
"N-no punishment?" they asked hopefully.
"None at all, dear pet." Despite saying that, her thrall soon came into the room, carrying the silver tipped whip that made their breath hitch.
"No, wait, Mistress, please, I have done nothing wrong, you said it yourself! You said there would be no punishment!" Their panic came back in full force, and they grabbed onto their shirt protectively, ready to hiss and bite and claw at her if she tried to take it. They hadn't made a mistake. No whipping was in order.
"And I am no filthy liar. This is not a punishment, pet." She gestured to the floor, and they dropped to their knees like a puppet on a string. They had done this so many times. This was a punishment, this was how punishments started, she was going to torture them, burn them, whip them bloody. "Tonight you shall learn that I expect unconditional devotion. Sacrifices without any rewards in exchange. Your pain without having done me wrong. That way I know you truly are loyal to me."
"I am," they sobbed. "I am, I am loyal, I– that is why I made no mistakes, that is why I am so careful to serve you to the best of my abilities, that is why–"
"That is why you will take whatever I give you." She glanced down at their shirt, and they couldn't, they couldn't bring themself to take it off and subject themself to another night of agony, not without any reason, not when they hadn't even been expecting it. They thought they were okay. "Will you not?"
Their tears felt especially hot against their permanently cold skin, the only warmth they were allowed to feel anymore apart from the fresh blood they were so rarely gifted. They stared at the whip in her hand, trying to will their trembling hands to comply with her orders and failing. "Please..."
"You see, this is why these nights are so crucial in training arrogant little servants like you. All of you think I should be satisfied with your shallow cooperation, your... performance of obedience. But as soon as serving me becomes a touch more difficult, you are all eager to flee." She stepped closer, and their hold on their shirt tightened even more. "Unconditional devotion is so much more than you could even comprehend right now. But you will learn. I am here to make sure of that."
~
taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight
#at my beck and call#whump#whump writing#helle#lady marie#vampire whumper#vampire whumpee#lady whumper#conditioning#dehumanisation#begging#sadistic whumper
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Also speaking of the Trials, that moment when Dean brought up past mistakes from years ago that sam made that he should atone for in the church, good grief I know family ties can be complicated but there have been a few times when I really wanted sam to deck dean and just go on a vacation away from him, and this was one of those moments (one of many if I'm being honest)
It feels like Dean is always judging sam for past 'mistakes' and has never fully forgiven him even after he says that he has, but he has no issue moving past other people's transgressions. Like I don't agree that Sam is fully to blame for the apocalypse since the angels and demons AND dean had a hand in it but no one ever mentions anyone else, just the role sam played in it. I don't understand how anyone considers dean blameless for breaking the first seal, but then they put all the blame on sam for breaking the last seal as if he wasn't manipulated in to it (I don't know if cas ever apologised to sam for for his role in manipulating him but I really bloody hope so)
Dean eventually just came off as so self righteous and high and mighty that for the life of me I couldn't figure out why anyone even liked his character anymore, except for his looks. I imagine he does have some redeeming moments but not nearly enough to justify the writers turning spn into more about Dean than both brothers
omfg i will be aggravated about dean's "list of sam's wrongdoings" until the day i die 💀💀how did he say that with his chest and zero shame istg every single thing he pulled out of his ass were things that either a) weren't sam's fault because it was outside of his control b) something he was lied to about and/or manipulated into doing or c) a combination of the two
AND whenever sam's past is brought everybody conveniently leaves out the part about how he sent lucifer back to hell at the expense of himself to be tortured for all eternity and accepted this as punishment of simply existing as lucifer's vessel which was never a thing he could control to begin with!! angels flat out said multiple times that letting lucifer out of hell to fight adam was a plan they set in motion long long time ago
speaking of angels. castiel. my guy in a dirty trenchcoat. how are you gonna blame sam for making the wrong choices when you kept vital information under wraps for an entire year - information that would help sam make an informed decision
i think for dean, not many knew he broke the first seal, i think only sam and the angels knew + some demons but no human side characters, while sam breaking the final seal became pretty public knowledge through word of mouth after lucifer's release. in addition, sam being lucifer's vessel, being prophesized as the next boy king to rule hell and having demon blood in him made all the "good guys" despise him bc in the eyes of angels and many hunters, sam was closer to demon than human. to some degree, being on the outside here not knowing the full picture i get the fear and anger directed specifically at sam way more than dean but in that case, dean and castiel should've helped lift sam's spirits and ease his guilt by acknowledging their own part in lucifer's comeback, even when they too were manipulated and lied into doing it.
dean does indeed have his moments but they are unfortunately few and far between post-kripke and it's such a shame that they wrote dean the way they did bc the charm and core of the show is the complicated, flawed and dysfunctional yet compelling, believable and caring relationship between the brothers. writers post-kripke were so often close to saying something or having a breakthrough with dean and/or sam but somehow avoided that every time the opportunity arose, which is kinda impressive actually, and lost a lot of what made the characters and by extension the show so intriguing to begin with
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Nun’s Secret Flowers
A lamp casts a soft yellow glow, the kitchen appears dimly lit with the night drawing near. Rhaenyra, having just completed her kitchen cleaning, lowers her top, allowing the cool air to touch her skin. She takes a damp cloth and gently cleanses her chest and underarms. Afterwards, she applies the juice from a halved lemon to her breasts, enjoying its refreshing fragrance and cleansing properties. Having witnessed Rhaenyra's growth into the admirable woman she is now, Alicent doesn’t feel uncomfortable being present as she performs her post-cleaning routine. Leaning over the sink, she splashes water onto her ample breasts and wipes her hands beneath her armpits.
"Do you have a moment?"
"Always, what can I do for you?"
Rhaenyra looks at her with tired eyes on her beautiful face. She works from morning to night, in service to God, in service to others. She's loved for her work ethic and heart. And Alivent loves her as a guardian angel I've never had, but always wanted.
"It's come to my attention that the student Laena has been engaging in salacious activities. I'd like you to speak with her."
"What did she do?"
"She was planning to sell her innocence to a man. Or men. A student informed me of this transgressive behavior after others were caught doing it."
"Where is she now?"
"Sitting in the hallway. She's been crying for the last few minutes after I confronted her."
"Bring her to me."
"Yes, right away."
In the dimly lit kitchen, Rhaenyra takes a dry towel and gently wipes her breasts and armpits. Afterwards, she dresses in her elegant black gown, donning a white headpiece and veil. Since it's late at night, she foregoes wearing anything else beneath her formal attire.
Alicent proceeds to the hallway and summons Laena, a 22-year-old woman, who stands with her head down, wiping away tears. As Alicent calls her, Laena bravely follows, though her pouty lips and adorable facial features reveal her vulnerability. Despite her slumped shoulders, she tries to maintain composure. Upon reaching the kitchen, Rhaenyra is seated by the table, and Alicent arranges for Laena to sit across from her. Two lamps illuminate their faces, as Alicent closes the door, ensuring privacy, and takes a seat at a distance.
"Tell me what you've been doing," Rhaenyra says.
Her voice is warm, non-judgemental. This approach works best when dealing with delinquent students. That's why Alicent brought Laena to this woman.
"I agreed to do something stupid. I'm very sorry. All I ask is that my parents never find out. Punish me if you must, but don't tell my mother and father."
"You'll have to explain further if you want atonement."
"A man offered to buy my chastity," Laena says.
"Who was it?"
"A business man in the city. Other girls did the same with other rich men."
"Did you agree to the terms?"
Laena nods. "I agreed, but I was extremely hesitant. It never happened. I swear it didn't happen. I can prove it if you wish to look below."
"It didn't happen because you were caught."
"Please, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry."
"Laena, if you needed the money, you could have come to us for a part-time job. There's plenty that needs to be done around here. You know this."
"It wasn't about money."
Rhaenyra quickly grasps the situation and sits in thoughtful silence while Laena hangs her head in shame once more. While others might resort to harsh punishment or immediate expulsion, Rhaenyra's approach is different, and Alicent patiently observes, curious to see how she will handle the situation.
"Your body language reveals that you're a virgin with no sexual experience. That's a good thing. But we must also understand that sex is part of life. I won't tell you what to do with your body. If you want to sell it, then sell it. But I'm asking that you consider other alternatives."
Laena lifts her head. "So I'm not in trouble?"
"I will never punish a young woman for natural desires."
"Thank you. I will do anything you say."
"Do you practice self-care when you're alone?"
Laena's eyes widens. "That's against the teachings of this institution."
"At your age, the rules are more flexible. I'll ask you again. Do you practice self-care when you're alone?"
"Sometimes. I hate that I love it. I try to avoid these things."
"I understand your conflict."
"This is the hardest part of my life. I always wonder why God punishes me with these feelings. That's why I was so close to sinning with the business man. Because I needed a release. I kept asking myself if doing that would make the pain go away."
"You're asking yourself the wrong questions," Rhaenyra says.
"What should I be asking myself?"
Rhaenyra holds the girl's hand. "What have you done for your labia today? Did you pamper her? Feed her curiosities? Do you accept your labia for all that she is? Do you whisper kind things to her? If your labia is happy, then you are at peace."
This shocks Laena to the core and she gasps so hard that she's forced to breathe deeply. "How can you say these things? You of all people."
“I've lived a complicated life. More than you could ever understand. Would you like to hear about it?"
"Yes. I've always thought highly of you."
"I have the same affection for you. That's why I'll tell you a secret, but only if you swear to God that it stays between us."
"Yes, I swear to God that it's our secret."
The night stretches on, Alicent is surprised by Rhaenyra's decision to share her secret with Laena. In response to the unfolding situation, Alicent rises from her seat and starts preparing tea for everyone. With time passing, Alicent senses that by the end of the night, this encounter with Rhaenyra will mark a significant turning point for Laena's personal growth and understanding of herself.
In Rhaenyra's youth, her mother was a woman of the world, and that's how she was raised. Her mother nurtured her with love and kindness, but as Rhaenyra became a teenager, it became evident that her mother was a deceitful woman. Her mother's beauty and charm were her tools to navigate any situation, and these cunning instincts were what enabled them to survive.
As Rhaenyra transitioned into young adulthood, they moved to King's Landing, long before the war. Their life improved, and her mother managed to integrate into high society. They resided in a pleasant home near the ocean. Officially, her mother didn't hold a job; her beauty alone seemed to suffice, and it proved enough for their needs.
Rhaenyra soon discovered that her mother used her physical allure to progress in life. Once, she caught a glimpse of her mother returning late from a party. Her mother was engaging in an intimate moment with a local political figure, accompanied by a bottle of wine. Unable to hear their whispered conversation, Rhaenyra observed through the keyhole as her mother undressed and knelt before the man.
In Rhaenyra's household, the unspoken understanding between her and her mother persisted. She knew her mother was aware of her eavesdropping on conversations. Despite this, there was no shame attached to her mother's dealings; it was simply business. As more visitors frequented their home, her mother's income increased, allowing her to acquire finer clothing and more exquisite jewelry. Rhaenyra didn't feel ashamed of her mother's actions, nor did she take pride in them; it was merely the way the world operated, and they found contentment in their circumstances.
However, as the years passed, reality dealt a harsh blow, leaving Rhaenyra all alone. In an instant, her once perfect life was turned upside down, and she felt adrift and lost. Night after night, tears streamed down her face for over a week. And just as the weight of reality settled upon her, the burden of bills added to her distress. Fortunately, her mother had stashed a significant sum of money in the closet, providing a financial lifeline that would last for several months.
The men who held affection for Rhaenyra's mother offered their support and care, extending the same to Rhaenyra. She seriously contemplated their proposals, but her naivety made her hesitant. Through experience, she soon learned that their idea of "taking care" meant exploiting her and reducing her to servitude. Although she considered their offers, Rhaenyra ultimately decided that preserving her freedom was of utmost importance. Like her mother in her younger days, she yearned to explore the world and embrace new experiences.
Thus, Rhaenyra embarked on a journey, utilizing her mother's financial resources to travel from place to place. As the money began to dwindle, she employed the same strategies she had observed from her mother. Utilizing her beauty and youth, she skillfully maneuvered her way into high society. She invested in luxurious attire and honed her abilities to charm and manipulate men with her quick wit and radiant smile.
Once Rhaenyra had established the right connections, she followed in her mother's footsteps, engaging in transactions that involved lying on her back for a fee or dropping to her knees for an even higher price. With her exceptional beauty surpassing her mother's, she accumulated wealth beyond her wildest imagination. Yet, despite her riches, Rhaenyra's desire for more was insatiable. In her ventures to different towns and societies, she sought out the wealthiest men, captivating them in her allure and eventually pilfering from them, albeit not excessively. Some she convinced to invest in non-existent businesses, diverting the funds directly into her pockets. Over the years, these pursuits amassed a small fortune for her.
However, Rhaenyra gradually became aware of the dangers her lifestyle posed. She constantly felt the need to watch her back, wondering if someone would attempt to end her life with a dagger. In her own reflections, she admitted that such an end might have been deserved. Nevertheless, her survivor's instinct prevailed, and she adeptly altered her identity and appearance to stay one step ahead of danger.
One morning, while savoring her breakfast at a local cafe, Rhaenyra conceived her boldest scheme yet. Observing a group of nuns collecting donations, she grew weary of her current path and decided to adopt a new guise, donning a veil. With her captivating face concealed beneath the delicate fabric, she realized she could amass substantial donations. And for the right price, she would be willing to perform even more intimate services, aware of the considerable sum her beauty in the veil could command.
Having devoted weeks to studying the prayers, hymns, and intricacies of the religious community, Rhaenyra assumed the veil and robe to collect money during the day, while returning home at night. Although her financial needs were met without resorting to her previous means, the desire for intimate encounters persisted, and she continued engaging in such liaisons without charging a fee. Her body seemed to have an insatiable sexual appetite, making her crave new lovers constantly.
In her audacious plan, Rhaenyra ventured to a new city and uncovered a covenant that dealt with substantial sums of gold. Tempted by greed, she sought to join their ranks and gradually pilfer small amounts of gold over time, escaping before her actions were detected, leaving her rich and ready to move on to the next location. With valuable information about the covenant's guards and gold storage, her scheme appeared foolproof. However, her life of sin would eventually teach her that perfection is elusive.
After residing with the covenant for several months, Rhaenyra prepared to set her plan in motion. But just before her grand heist, Sister Alicent, an older and perceptive nun, confronted her in her room. With eyes that seemed to see into her very soul and a commanding voice like thunder, Sister Alicent saw through Rhaenyra's facade, exposing her lies. Despite her anger and attempts to deny the truth, Rhaenyra knew resistance was futile.
Having never faced capture before, Rhaenyra found herself growing extremely defensive. Her perplexity grew, as she hadn't even taken any gold yet. Initially assuming that one of the men had betrayed her plans, she soon realized that Sister Alicent had been studying her closely since her arrival and could discern her intentions with uncanny accuracy.
As the conversation unfolded, it became evident that Sister Alicent had no intention of judging or condemning her. Instead, the nun showed a willingness to lend a compassionate ear and understand Rhaenyra's story. Gazing into Sister Alicent's eyes, Rhaenyra discovered a depth of sincerity she had never seen before, prompting her to confess everything – her entire life, moral failures, sins, and the audacious plan to steal the gold.
In a vulnerable moment, Rhaenyra wept into Sister Alicent's arms, her tears staining the nun's black dress. This encounter forced her to confront her relationship with God and her morality in a way she had never done before, making her realize the depths of her brokenness.
Sister Alicent gently explained that a life of deception was the wrong path to follow, especially considering the love Rhaenyra had to offer the world. The nun directed her to turn her life around and dedicate herself to a higher purpose, emphasizing that the road to redemption would not be easy. It required humility and a willingness to change. Sister Alicent questioned whether Rhaenyra had the strength to leave her past behind and embrace a new life of service and faith, as continuing on her current path would only lead to destruction.
The challenge lay in Rhaenyra's reluctance to part ways with her current life. She openly admitted that her world revolved around opulent dresses, extravagant parties, and indulging in libertine relationships. When she mentioned the significance of sex in her life, Sister Alicent's eyes conveyed a peculiar understanding, as if she, too, had experienced the weight of its importance.
Sister Alicent's words left a profound impact on Rhaenyra's memory. She spoke gently to her, saying, "Rhaenyra, everything you desire lies between your legs, and you can find fulfillment with just your own hand. You must be attentive and intuitive to its needs. Nurture your intimate self, sate its natural curiosity with your mind, and speak sweet poetry to it. Remember that when your inner self is content, you will find peace."
Rhaenyra found herself astonished that a woman of Sister Alicent's stature could speak so candidly, yet she felt an intense curiosity to learn more about her secrets. It was evident why many sought her spiritual guidance, for she exuded a commanding presence unlike any other woman Rhaenyra had encountered. Sister Alicent's demeanor resembled that of a resolute military general, cloaked in the attire of a nun. Her words were carefully measured and delivered only when necessary.
With an unwavering expression, Sister Alicent aimed to alleviate Rhaenyra's confusion, instructing her to lie back. Complying, Rhaenyra reclined on her bed, and Sister Alicent's no-nonsense approach gave the impression of a clinical examination. Steadily, she raised the hem of Rhaenyra's robe, revealing her womanhood, and gazed intently at it.
It crossed her mind that she was some perverted woman looking for an excuse to see what she had. Or maybe even touch her. A woman's body can only be repressed for so long and she figured Sister Alicent was a tortured soul who missed the erotic touch of another human being. Usually she hears these stories about men in the robe, but it made sense that women had the same torment.
The moment she touched her, she knew her assumption was wrong. Her hands rubbed across her thighs and hips with a sense of purpose. She could feel that she wasn't doing this for her pleasure, but for Rhaenyra. She was teaching her something she’d never learned in her adult life, which was how to listen to her body's needs. Rather than going for instant gratification, she was truly listening. She was feeling her skin and flesh and sensing what her cunt wanted.
She prodded her knees like a teacher disciplining a student, but what she wanted was Rhaenyra legs spread, so she spread them. Her face remained stoic and unmoved, even as she looked deep inside her womanhood. Men in that situation would be overtaken with primal lust, with wide eyes and a mouth that hangs open, before thrusting inside of her. Not her. Her face remained composed and analytic.
Bending down, she looked closer, then pressed her ear against Rhaenyra’s labia. She wanted to listen. Then she brought her mouth to her labia, mere inches away. She whispered into her vagina.
"Talk to me, sweet darling. What do you crave at this moment? The stroke of your lips? A kiss, perhaps? Fingers to go inside? Talk to me. Ah, that's it. You say you've never been serviced by a woman? Say no more. I know exactly what to do in this situation. I know exactly what you want. I can sense your needs, my darling."
No one ever 'talked' to her vagina before and her started thinking she was this crazy ginger lady, but her touch reminded her of who she was dealing with. Her hands pressed around her crotch like a massage, kneading up and down. When she touched her sex, it was like magic. She'd clearly done that before with other women and it was like second nature. No hesitation. No fear. Sister Alicent listened to her body and needs.
Spreading her hole and looking deeper, she was reading her like a book. One that was in a different language that no one could ever understand, not even Rhaenyra at times. She had the power to decipher her sexuality. It started with her finger going inside, probing, studying what made her tick and where the pleasure spots were. Her other hand pressed down on her hip to prevent her from moving. The finger probed deeper until her body reacted and she found what she was looking for. Her finger made different patterns, different stroking techniques with different amounts of pressure.
"You feel this, right here, where I'm touching. That's your magic spot. You try it. Do it exactly as I'm doing it. Remember this spot and how to get there."
Sister Alicent pulled her finger away and Rhaenyra saw that it was drenched with pleasure. Then she put her finger inside herself and did the same technique in the same spot. At that age, Rhaenyra was well-versed in the art of masturbation, but something about it felt different. How could a woman of God teach a whore new tricks? Somehow she managed and Rhaenyra followed her instructions. That was the first time letting someone watch her play with herself.
"Tell me, how does that feel?"
"Magnificent, actually."
"Keep going. You'll know when to stop."
Sister Alicent did the last thing she expected her to do. Her tongue stroked across her sex, up and down, inside and out. Rhaenyra’s finger was still inside hitting the magic spot and her mouth took her to the stars. When her tongue circled her clitoris, the orgasm took her to heaven.
"Keep this in your memory. In moments of desperation, remember this. Us playing together. It will help you relieve your tension and whatever doubts you have in life. Imagine my finger inside you. Imagine my tongue, if you must. These memories will serve you as a source of guidance. Use this, instead of looking for sin. Keep the sins away."
That was her introduction to a new life. She left her in the room and she awoke a different woman. More than anything, I was curious about how someone as rigid as Sister Alicent could give her a sensation she never experienced before. Rhaenyra was determined to learn her secrets and stealing from the covenant fell further and further from her mind.
Rhaenyra lived a monastic lifestyle with the women. She prayed with them, ate with them, everything. In the back of her mind she always thought about Sister Alicent and her tongue. She never sought her. Rhaenyra sought her. Privately meeting in moments of silence, usually in between prayers or later at night. She was always very busy and private time was fleeting. Her words were always brief.
"Have you been playing with your flower? Do you let it blossom in your hand? You don't need me, trust your instincts. Listen to what your flower has to say."
But Rhaenyra did need Sister Alicent, though she never actually begged her. Rhaenyra never begged anyone in her life and didn't intend to start. A product of her mother, proud, fierce and independent. She was, however, suggestive with this woman using her eyes and the tone of her voice. She was keen enough to know how desperate she was.
Every once in a while, if I'd earned the privilege, she'd come to Rhaenyra's room when everyone slept and teach her new tricks. She learned things about the human body that would surprise most doctors. The cum was sensational. The mess was spectacular. When her tongue performed magic, it was heaven.
In between orgasms they lay naked in her bed, head resting on her shoulder as if she were a mother figure, and she'd speak about God and morality. Rhaenyra confessed more about her sinful lifestyle and all the things that she’d become ashamed of. She never judged her. Instead, she listened with an open heart while stroking her hair or breast. Her finger circling her nipple was the best.
At her guidance she wrote letters to the men she had swindled, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Rhaenyra even mailed back their cash and gold until she had nothing left to her name. She never revealed her current location, just that she was living a new life in service of God.
In between letters and reimbursing what Rhaenyra could, Sister Alicent would watch her. Bearing her soul in these letters meant being naked in front of her, confessing her sins and admitting that she was a sinner. After each letter she rewarded her with her tongue. What Rhaenyra still finds unusual is that Sister Alicent never wanted anything in return. She never asked her to eat her out, never asked for her tongue or fingers, though Rhaenyra would have gladly returned the favor. She did offer on several occasions, even to this day. Her face never showed sexual desire toward her. It was a true act of being selfless. True devotion to God.
Material things didn't matter anymore. The expensive dresses, the parties, the lavish lifestyle of glamor. None of it meant anything. Rhaenyra wanted to be selfless like her and be a true servant. What her body needed, she could provide for herself. Rhaenyra did things in the bath or her bedroom which made her blush. If Rhaenyra was in a deviant mood and her body was crying for extra attention, she still turned to Sister Alicent for her tongue and spiritual guidance.
“Now you understand me. My deepest and darkest secrets are yours to ponder. I'm telling you this in hopes that you have a better understanding. And I want you to know that your body is a sacred temple. Sex is a part of life, that's true, but there are ways to handle your natural curiosities.” Rhaenyra finished her story.
The story is over, Ali keeps her gaze on Laena, wondering how she's handling this turn of events. We have always represented purity in her eyes. That's the way it should be. Now they represent something else, something perhaps more human.
"Speak to me."
Laena sits upright. "I listened to every word, but it's difficult to process this information while you're wearing a robe and veil."
"Sometimes a dress can carry sophisticated messages that subtly describe a woman's perspective on sexuality."
"And you feel that way about what you're wearing?"
"I do," Rhaenyra says. "That's not the case for everyone, but it's true with me. My robe represents my relationship with God along with my relationship with my own body, including my sexuality. Does this make sense?"
"Yes, it does."
"How does that make you feel?"
"You might not want to know."
"Tell me."
Laena purses her lips. "You have experience and I have none, but in a way, I feel like I understand you. I understand the needs you have, because I have them as well."
"As you'll come to learn, every woman has the same needs, but to varying degrees."
"Really?"
"This is the reason why women need erotic conversations with a confidant. These things aren't taught in books or schools. This kind of knowledge is passed down through word of mouth, in private, to protect the reputations of those involved."
"And me? Where do I fit in?"
Rhaenyra's eyes travel up and down the young student. "Your sexual appetite appears higher than most. Being young and naive can be a dangerous thing. If you're interested -- only if you're interested -- then I can guide you in these matters."
"Will I be judged?"
"By whom?"
"God or you."
"We have this fallacy in society that religion must be separate from sex. That is wrong. Spirituality and belief are about the full humanness of who we are. And so, sexuality and spirituality co-exist, except in the minds of those who wish to control our bodies."
Laena takes a moment to ponder these important words. The tears in her eyes had dried a long time ago. Now she's thinking, facing perhaps the most important decision she's ever made in her young life. Alicent has been in Laena's position before. She knows how she feels. Ali knows how her cunt must be thumping.
"If you're willing to teach me, then I would be interested in learning."
The girl hangs her head down after making the request. She needs to work on her confidence, but she suspects these issues will be resolved soon enough.
"Have you ever engaged in tongue pleasures before?" Rhaenyra asks.
"Never. Nothing beyond a simple kiss on the mouth."
"With a male or female?"
"Male."
"Without an oral fixation, sex is very dull. A woman should be proud of her oral obsession. It will also maintain your chastity, while satisfying your carnal desires. Come here. Stand in front of me."
Laena stands and walks to her in slow and hesitant movements. Her head still hangs down, she's looking at the floor, her hands are clasped in the front.
"Yes?" the girl asks.
"Open my top. It should be easy. I'm wearing nothing underneath."
The girl's eyes go wide. Soon she'll be seeing something sacred. And Ali is sure she's surprised to learn that there's nothing beneath Rhaenyra's dress.
Her hands go to work, opening the top of the black dress to reveal voluptuous breasts that protrude forward with light brown nipples. Alicent wonders if she can smell the lemon juice that had been used to clean them earlier.
"Yes?"
"What do you think? Suck them. They've already been washed."
Laena hesitates, then kneels and brings her mouth forward. Alicent is sure she's terrified of doing this to a holy woman, and in front of her, but the girl has desires which need to be met. She takes a nipple into her mouth and Alicent can hear the sloppy sucking sounds. Greedy girl. Alicent was the same way when she was that age.
This goes on for a while and she sucks and grabs both breasts. Her mouth takes equal turns on each nipple. While observing them together, Alicent slips her hand below and touches herself, putting her finger inside. This goes on for a while and Alicent almost cums.
"That's quite enough. Now I want you to lay on the table. I'm going to give you a gift, then in the days to come I will explain how you can give yourself pleasure."
"Are you going to..."
"Yes, I'm going to kiss you down there."
This scares Laena to the core, but in a good way. Alicent is sure she never expected to receive such a thing since becoming a student here. Never in her wildest dream.
Laena sits on the table, being mindful to keep her dress down. Even in the midst of her first time receiving pleasure of this magnitude, her respectful nature is still that. Alicent likes that about her. It's a great sign and she'll make an excellent apprentice.
The girl's face winces as Rhaenyra tosses the bottom of her dress upward and pulls the white garments away to reveal the treasure. From where Alicent issitting, she can only see the light brown color of Laena's curly pubic hair. Rhaenyra looks, inspects, plays with the labia and spreads it open, then brings her lips and tongue forward to proceed with this act of pleasure.
Laena's body jerks and clenches and she gasps out loud, as if this were a spiritual possession. She's never felt this before, nor will she feel this again with anyone else, because Rhaenyra has full lips and a wealth of experience. Rhaenyra's mouth has godly powers behind it. The poor girl cries. Her first experience is trial by fire.
While the feast is happening, Alicent walks to them and sits beside the table to provide care for Laena during this critical time of need. These are the formative years of her sexuality and Alicent wants to make sure she's handling this correctly. She holds her hand and she squeezes hers in return. These feelings may be too much for a virgin to handle, but Alicent defer judgment to Rhaenyra on these matters.
Oh, how the girl's face looks. She stares at the ceiling, her eyes are watching God and her faith is stronger than ever. If feelings like this exist in the world, then surely it's a sign of what exists in the universe. She squeezes her hand. She squeezes her hand tighter. Her eyes stay focused on the ceiling, that long stare with a vision of God at the other end.
When she finally cums she clenches her eyes shut and grits her teeth. Tears stream from her clenched eyes and the tears roll back to her ears and hair. Her grip on my hand is even tighter. Alicent listens to the wet noises that Rhaenyra is making with Laena's entrance. That sucking and slurping and sounds of wetness. Better than any church choir.
She rests on the table, breathing heavily. Her hand goes limp. Alicent goes to the kitchen sink for a bowl of water and two clean clothes. Alicent place the bowl on the table and Rhaenyra appreciates that she wets a cloth and cleans her mouth. Her lips are glistening with flavor.
"You could have gone easier on her. That was a virgin's first time."
Rhaenyra gulps and swallows. "A girl must learn. You were also hard on me."
"That's because you were a bad girl."
Alicent dips the other cloth into the bowl of water and wipes the mound and labia of Laena's private area. It's her first time seeing it and the sight is perfect. The hair around the vagina is wet from saliva and trickles of orgasm still leak from the pink hole. That tight little hole. Her labia shines with saliva. The clitoris is swollen. The saliva and fluids are wiped clean and she's ready for bed. Alicent puts the soiled cloth in the bowl and strokes her hair, waking her.
"You need to get to bed. There's a busy schedule tomorrow."
She nods, feeling ashamed that Alicent witnessed her private moment of rapture. Then Alicent help Laena to her feet and smooths her dress so that she looks refreshed. Rhaenyra gives her a goodnight kiss on the lips. The girl kisses back. With their arms locked together, Alicent helps Laena up the stairs and toward the bathroom. She feels that her knees are still weak from the orgasm, which is the reason Alicent is holding her. She leans on her. Alicent knows the effects of an intense orgasm can be overwhelming for a young virgin.
Alicent closes the door to the bathroom when we get inside, and when Laena sits on the toilet, Alicent tucks her hair behind her ears. How beautiful she looks. So pure.
"This is our secret, okay? No one else can know."
"Yes, this is our secret, Sister Alicent, thank you so much."
"Good girl. You've always been a good girl."
"I've never cum like that in my life," she says. "Never thought it was possible."
"The body given to you by God is full of impossible wonders. Once you know the secrets, then your powers are endless. Now relieve yourself, you should already be in bed."
Alicent kisses Laena on the forehead as she starts to pee. Alicent looks between her legs. The stream is laced with her cum and she quivers. The sound of her pee splashing in the water is loud. She sits there until every drop is gone. Alicent looks into her eyes, the girl is emotionally exhausted and still processing this experience. When she finishes, Alicent uses tissue to wipe between her legs. She's able to stand with her strength returning. She washes her hands and looks at herself in the mirror, then she turns to her,, managing to smile for the first time tonight. Alicent smiles back. She is someone who rarely smiles at students, but she's earned it.
Alicent walks with her to the bedroom and tuck her into bed, making her promise to be a good girl, to respect her body and respect God, and she thanks Alicent for the lessons. Alicent rubs her breasts and then kisses her lips. She kisses her back.
DONE
please check my pinned post and retweet it. I don’t like property to be honest lmao. Please help pay for a girls school or share.
#rhaenicent#rhaenyra targaryen#laena velaryon#rhaenyra x alicent#rhaenyra x laena#smut hotd#hotd fanfic
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Mandomera Week 2022 - Day 3
Prompts: Stargazing/Insecure
Note: This one-shot takes place in my A New Creed Universe and was written for Mandomera Week 2022. It sort of feels like two different drabbles pasted together… I did my best :-)
No warnings.
Read my Din/Omera backstory here.
Word count: ~900 words
AO3: NewPath3432
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“That very bright one… there…” Omera questioned, pointing at the night sky as she leaned further into Din’s side. “Do you know what star that is? I’ve never been able to figure it out.”
Din reluctantly tore his eyes from her moonlit face to look up at the stars. “Uhhh… I’m not sure…”. He paused as if in thought before adding quickly, “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
Omera missed his warmth at her side immediately as he left her to head back into the hut, but true to his word, he returned within moments, fitting one of his previously discarded vambraces back onto his forearm. He gestured to her as he sat down, pointing to a button on his wrist. “Hit this one.”
“I’m not going to set the hut on fire or blow anything up, right?” She smiled in jest, though absolutely half-serious in her inquiry.
“No… that's the other side.” He grinned at her wide-eyed expression before reassuring her gently. “Don’t worry - it’s safe.”
She looked away from him and took hold of his forearm before carefully pressing the designated button, flinching a bit in anticipation as she did so.
But, as promised, no fire burst forth from his wrist, and no explosions ensued… Instead, Omera was met with a shimmering, holographic display. It was almost like a work of art - reproductions of the stars as seen from any planet in the galaxy. Din fiddled with it a bit, putting in Sorgan’s coordinates, and finally, a rough facsimile of their own night sky, labeled in galactic basic, appeared before them.
“Dank farrik, Din… Your vambraces can do all that?” Omera examined the images with incredulity. “I’d forgotten that this sort of technology exists. We have no need for it out here.”
Honestly, Din had never thought much about that - how incredible it was that he held maps of the entire galaxy quite literally in the palm of his hand. He turned to watch her face again as she swiped through the images and compared them to the stars above, enchanted by their beauty. “Yeah… I suppose it is pretty amazing.”
They spent quite some time like that, Omera laid back on Din’s torso, lazily flipping through the maps on his vambrace as she stargazed, asking him what he knew of the planets she could identify.
While of course Din told her briefly of each planet’s climate and life forms, she noted a recurring theme that she hadn’t quite expected. What he spoke of at greatest length and with the most enthusiasm was actually the people…. It turned out her lover was a bit of an amateur linguist and a student of culture.
And everywhere he’d traveled, he’d not only learned from these people - he’d befriended them… helped them… respected their ways and earned the same in turn… much as he’d done right here in Sorgan all that time ago.
Without speaking, Omera flipped off the maps and pulled his vambrace gently from his forearm, placing it on the porch behind them. She turned in his arms as he looked at her questioningly before bringing her lips to his briefly and murmuring, “You’re a good man, Din.”
He stiffened a moment before shaking his head. “You shouldn’t… I’m not… I’m not a good man… I need you to understand that… before I disappoint you…”. While Din had made a point in recent years to atone for his past errors, the nature of the galaxy was that true goodness was a nearly impossible goal. He felt more like the lesser of many evils - but an evil all the same.
Omera knew his worst transgressions… that was true. But still, he considered himself just barely good enough to be worthy of her affection, and any day now, she might realize he wasn’t. Din was not insecure about many things… but this - losing her - was one of his greatest fears.
But then she looked down as if she was shamed and shook her head solemnly. “No, Din… Don’t put that on yourself.” She faltered and looked up to meet his gaze, placing a hand to his chest and taking a deep breath as if in preparation. “There’s a lot I haven’t told you… about my life before Sorgan… I want you to know… when I’m ready…”
He didn’t respond, except to lay his hand over hers where it lay against his heart, a gesture of comfort. Omera continued, “If you knew I’d done really terrible things in my past… would it change how you feel about me now?”
“No.” His answer was definitive, leaving no room for any other interpretation. “The person I know now strives to be good… I wouldn’t fault you for your past decisions. You did what you had to do - the Empire put us all in that position.”
She looked at him pointedly. Oh, he’d just proved her point, hadn’t he?
And just like that, his insecurity melted away. He still feared the reckoning that might come for him one day - his past atrocities returning to serve him the punishment he deserved. But it wouldn’t be by her hand… Omera would not leave him… And likewise, he wouldn’t abandon her when the time came to speak on her own past crimes.
“We’re both being better… making it right where we can… together…” She looked at him with the silent question in her eyes - Din wasn’t the only one feeling insecure.
He brought his forehead to hers, hand at his chest squeezing her fingers more tightly in reassurance.
“Together.”
#mandomeraweek2022#din djarin x omera#mandomera#din djarin fanfiction#the mandalorian fanfiction#newpath3432
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❝ Stop pretending that you care about me. ❞ ryne @ dad,
angst starters, part III
@ichoric
Thancred's eyes widened as he turned to face Ryne, too stunned to even speak at that moment. Sure, he had his grievances when they first met - when he had heard that there was a child named Minfilia trapped in Kholusia, he had dared to grasp onto a sliver of hope that maybe it was his Minfilia. But alas, he found this poor girl caged like a feeble bird. He only did what he thought was right in rescuing her, figuring that he perhaps will learn the answers to his questions in time.
But to think that I would pretend to care...
His face went neutral for moment, his expression like stone as he silently reigned in his emotions. He will ever be frustrated with the way things ended in Ul'dah, but he cannot change the past no matter how hard he tried. It took him all this time to accept it and attempt to move on.
He let out a steady breath and knelt down before Ryne. "And why would you think that I was pretending?" he asked calmly. "If I truly did not care, I could have easily given you back to Ran'jit...but I didn't. I would never..."
He paused, pursing his lips slightly as he mulled over his words. "I will admit... I thought that by taking you in, I was atoning for past transgressions. Over time, however, I came to view you like my own... I do not regret a single action. You have grown into your own and I... I am proud of you, Ryne. So please, never think that I do not care at all."
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Ooh. Something just occurred to me about Sun in my story that I think is kind of cool. (A little spoilery)
So my process went: Ta’Elenis Sun is a woman -> women are expected to act in a judiciary/executive role -> the ‘female’ moon (Stamath) is associated with justice and punishment -> justice and punishment are about atoning for past actions -> matters of Stamath are matters of the past.
This means that the moment Sun concerns herself with what could happen, instead of what did happen, she’s overstepping her bounds. She’s grasping at something that’s in the realm of Hama. So even before her major transgression, there’s disobedience.
At the heart of her disobedience though, is fear. And it’s a founded fear. The last war sent her people back into a stone age, and over the past generations there’s been a steady population decline to the point that a new war most likely means extinction. She’s scared, and so she’s willing to do whatever it takes to avoid a bad outcome. But it’s exactly that fear — that concern with what could happen instead of with what did — that’s disobedience. That’s outside of her role and her authority. That she should not give in to, but she does.
Anyway, I don’t see how I could ever manage to spell this out in the story, but I think it’s cool when I find the point at which one of my characters committed their first (potentially) fatal sin.
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Christ Was Without Sin
by Octavius Winslow (1808–1878)
What the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh
- Romans 8:3
“In the likeness of sinful flesh.” These words place in the clearest possible light the true humanity of the Son of God. It was not human nature in appearance that he took, as some have taught, but human nature in reality…..Now can he, with a feeling of the most exquisite sympathy, be touched with my infirmity; for this nature which I drag about with me, feeble and bruised, jaded and crushed, was the very nature which he took into mysterious union with his Godhead, wore it here below, and wears it still in heaven!
… He took real flesh…. He was ….“tempted like we are, yet without sin” [Hebrews 4:15]. And so in the passage before us, “in the likeness of sinful flesh.” The words suppose a resemblance to our sinful nature. And, oh! how close that resemblance was! As like a sinner as one could be, who yet in deed and in truth was not one—“who knew no sin,” but was “holy, harmless, undefiled, and separate from sinners” [Hebrews 7:26].
Man is a sinner; our blessed Lord was man—so truly man, that his enemies exclaimed, “We know this man is a sinner” [John 9:24]. They could not understand how one could be so really human, and yet be untainted with sin.…He hungered—he thirsted—he wept—he was wearied—he slept—he was afflicted—he sorrowed—he trembled—he suffered—he died. And as we trace these infirmities of our humanity floating upon the transparent surface of his pure life, how forcible do we feel the words—“Made in the likeness of sinful flesh”!
And when we see him traduced as a sinner by man, and, standing beneath his people’s transgressions—dealt with as a sinner by God….oh! how like sinful flesh was the robe of lowliness and suffering which he wore! And yet, “He was without sin.”
It was the resemblance, not the reality. The human nature of the Son of God was as free from sin as the Deity it enshrined. He was the “Lamb of God, without spot” [1 Peter 1:19]. The least taint of moral guilt—a shade of inherent corruption—would have proved fatal to his mission…. Oh! this is the glory of his work, and the solace of our hearts, that Christ our Savior “offered himself without spot unto God” [Hebrews 9:14]. And now we may plead his sinless atonement as the ground of our pardon, and the acceptance of our people. “He has made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him…” [2 Corinthians 5:21].
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The hug had meant to be somewhat brief - just long enough to help show she was there for him, but short enough so he could get up and get ready for the day. Carter knew touch... was something of an inner conflict for Basch, and she was careful never to push her limits with him. And, truthfully, it was a slow process for her as well. She knew how it went - the yearning for someone's touch overwhelmed by the fear of being hurt. It was something she understood all too well, and something she was ever so patient with. She didn't keep her hugs long or too tight to keep from making him anxious, which was why it was surprising when he grabbed her arm as she tried to pull away.
Carter blinked, startled but... not at all frightened, and her expression immediately softened as she wrapped her arms around Basch once more. She held him tight, with one hand gently carding through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. Savoring the chance to hold him close as she stood beside him where he sat. "I've- I've got you," she murmured, as her hand stilled to cradle the back of his head, and as the other wrapped around his shoulders. "I- I promise I- I won't let you- you go, my love."
((for that touch starved post!))
Basch had found so much peace with Carter. There, in her smile and warmth and care of him, was the love he'd longed for all his life. He wanted nothing more than to love her in return, to keep her safe, and make her happy, but first he had to learn how. That was easier said than done for someone who had been shut up inside themselves for as long as he had.
Physical affection was never something that was allowed for him as a knight. Being friendly with words, as long as he was professional, was permitted and even encouraged to foster a good rapport with the masses, but there was that code of conduct of the Order that kept him from improprieties and social transgressions. Never did that seem to hold Vossler back, but Basch took it very much to heart and obeyed it absolutely. It meant that there was always a distance between him and others, both physically and emotionally. The only times he physically connected with other people... was on a battlefield.
Even if that hadn't been true, Basch didn't feel deserving of physical comfort or affection. He needed it, to be sure, and maybe that was why he starved himself of it. It felt right to do so, to deprive himself of what he needed most, since he had done the same to Noah years ago. Perhaps he felt it brought him closer to the atonement he sought, to try and inflict the same pain on himself that he felt he had on his brother.
For someone as warm and loving a person as Basch was, however... being touch-starved was something that affected him on a very deep level. It stayed with him, ate away at him, even after he and Carter had officially begun courting. As much as he cherished each time she would touch his arm while speaking, hold his hand as they sat together, or even hug him, it still all felt so foreign to Basch, and so indulgent. She was slowly helping him to shed the shame and guilt that he'd punished himself with for decades, but it was slow to take effect, and sometimes he fell back on his old habits of keeping his distance.
As they stirred early in the morning, Basch had looked over at Carter and, seeing her awake, he smiled warmly. He'd moved to sit on the edge of the bed while Carter got up, looking up at her with a smile as she came around to him. The hug had been unexpected, but... oh, it had struck him in just the right way. An ache formed in the pit of his stomach at the feel of it, just... how wonderful it was. How loving and amazing. In just a few seconds, he'd slipped into somewhere very vulnerable, such that when she pulled away, he could almost cry for the loss of her touch.
Basch hadn't even realized he'd grabbed her arm until it was too late, until she was staring at him incredulously... and why shouldn't she? Carter was wary of that sort of thing, of people grabbing her without warning, and hadn't he always promised to be respectful of her? Shouldn't he always be proper and respectful around and to her? He took his hand away, ready to immediately apologize to her, but she... she embraced him again... and-
He melted into her, releasing a trembling sigh. Basch didn't know what made him ache more, the actual touch, or the fact that she had understood what he needed in that moment without him even having to say it. He just needed her right then, so badly.
"Forgive me..." he whispered as he clung to her, but he found it hard to feel ashamed. The way she spoke to him, stroked his hair, and pet his head... gods, he loved her so much for her patience and tolerance of him. Gradually, the tension in his body began to release, and he relaxed against her, his eyes closing. "I love you, Carter..." he whispered. "I just needed you... a moment longer..."
#starcchild#main muse: basch#basch x carter#{ knightly avenger } ᵐᶜᵘ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ#{ the darker corners of ivalice } ᵐᵃⁱⁿ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ⁻ ᵈᵃʳᵏ ᵉᵈⁱᵗⁱᵒⁿ
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Successors - Chapter Nine - The Bard's Atonement
*Forty-Five Years Later*
~~~
Despite everything he'd done over his long life, he'd failed at one thing. He'd failed to truly apologize to Her Divine Majesty for everything that occurred in his youth. He’d seen her many, many times over the years. Within the last forty years especially, he’d found her almost exclusively within Korok Forest, chatting the days away with her lost husband as they shared their dead men’s tales. Neither had ever shooed him off, and had always welcomed him warmly, but still he didn’t feel like he should interrupt their far and few reunions to dredge up the transgressions of the past.
And besides… only a large scale apology would do.
He must find a way to accelerate Calamity’s defeat.
All he knew were songs, information passed along melody after melody. To ensure these melodies survived his old age, he must find an apprentice.
But where to begin? Who out there would be up to the task, and where were they?
…
His talons ruffled the pages of a small notebook even at a late hour. Everything was coming together… and with nice timing too. Something was coming, he could feel it even in his thickest feathers. He didn’t know how soon, but it was coming. He had to be ready.
“Kass, you’re still up? You usually retire much earlier…”
“Yes, Amali. I’m putting the finishing touches on… a song of sorts.”
“Ah. What about?”
Kass was distracted once more, toying with the pencil on the page. “The Prince and Princess.”
“The ones that died during the Great Calamity?”
“The very same!”
"But… what is there left to tell?"
"There is something… I can feel it. I’m not sure what it is or when it will come, but-"
"Is there something you need to do? Please, feel free. The eggs are fine."
He nodded, relief gleaming from his eyes, and headed off to Revali's Landing. His thoughts swarmed the whole time he was in the air, about whatever it could be regarding the Princess and Knight. They both were long deceased, so what could lay in store for them and Hyrule? Although he was ashamed to admit it, he was terrified to find out.
...
“Are you Kass, great-grandson of Revali?” An elder Sheikah man suddenly appeared in front of him, leaning up against the three-holed pillar at Warbler’s Nest.
“It’s been a very long time since I’ve been referred to as that.”
“But you are Kass, correct?”
“I am.”
“Ah, good. This almost became awkward.”
“Who are you? I can tell you’re a Sheikah, but that is it.”
“My name is Horacio. I’m Lady Impa’s husband and an advocate for Her Grace.”
“But how? Her Grace died long ago, didn’t she?”
"The Champions did. Her Grace has been sealed away in the Castle all this time, waiting on her husband's return from the grave."
"Return from the…?"
"Such a tale is not worthy of mere words. To offer my services without doing so, I was the last Court Poet for the Royal Family."
Beak scraped against itself in confusion. "You have a poem?"
"A song. Do you, perhaps, want to hear?"
"I would love to. Do you need music? I have my grandfather's accordion."
"Later, child. One day, I should hope you'll play before the Champion when he returns, but for now please just let your heart listen."
Edited - 04/14/2024
#horacio#kass's final song#kass botw#fanfiction#booksivewritten#breath of the wild#legend of zelda#pre botw#mentioned link#mentioned zelda#hyrule's final stand#successors hfs#successors
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PLAYING: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
I've put nearly 30 hours into this...I think I'll just watch KOTOR 2 on YouTube...
Last we chatted, we found out the player character is actually the dark sith lord, Revan. But thanks to unethical brainwashing and my many good deeds, all the allies are like, "I know you're previously a psychotic mass murderer, but you've been pretty nice to me...so all's forgiven!' I look forward to reading or listening to some analysis of the ethics around this.
To think about it--Darth Vader is an interesting case of redemption, because he basically dies for his sins. Yes, in the end he does the right thing--but is it enough to forgive his past transgressions. Like, if you start a forest fire, and then save a family from the fire, but still thousands of people and animals die--are you a hero? If Darth Vader had survived, what life would he deserve to lead? What would he have to do to atone for his past? As a powerful Jedi, surely there is much good he could do...I don't know.
Revan is different. Revan didn't choose to be good. Revan was killed through brainwashing. I'm less concerned about who they used to be.
Anyway, so we've gone to Manaan. Despite being tired of this game and ready for it be over, I actually think this is a my favorite planet. Though it annoys the hell out of me. Manaan is a water world (apparently Earth was too at one point). It has a natural resource that's good for healing. But it has remained neutral in the war between Sith and Republic. So both factions have a presence on this world, by neither has attempted to conquer it for fear of screwing up the natural resource supply. But Siths are gonna Sith, so they have several conspiracies in play to gain the upper hand, which be bad for this world.
First things first, I hate the layout of my so-called favorite planet. I appreciated how Tatooine had a single hub, that was big enough to feel like a city, but small enough to fit within a single load screen. Manaan is not so--there's about 4-5 separate, interconnected to hubs. There layouts are all very similar but also different. So it's confusing--which T-shaped hub am I in right now? And each hub has 1 or 2 key mission givers or people, so you've gotta run around trying to remember who is where.
That's out of the way...
First thing I did was find out a Republic hero had been accused of murdering a Sith agent in a hotel room. It's annoying, but kinda fun, as you have to interrogate witnesses, collecting evidence, and maybe grease a few palms. Then there's a court scene where you present your case. If this were a whole game, it would be kinda fun--but seeing as I just wanted to be done with this game, I got a little annoyed. But ultimately--I had fun and thought it was pretty good.
Turns out the local youth have been missing. I need to get into the sith embassy to find out why. They won't let me. Some bounty hunter that only values violence spills the beans when I threaten him. Not because he's scared, but because he likes violence. I don't like this guy.
I also get a mission to investigate why the republic is hiring so many bounty hunters that then go missing. While looking into that, I'm let in on a secret. The republic have built a secret underwater facility to get the special resource. Apparently "moderate" locals realize if the Sith win, Manaan's sovereignty will be at risk. Aligning with the republic is the smartest move. But still... political grey.
Turns out something went wrong and they've been sending bounty hunters down there. Oh, but first, I have to earn some good will by breaking into the sith embassy and stealing back data from a downed satellite that belonged to the Republic. I'm given options to break in. I opt to interrogate a prison for their code. Mild threat of violence against their wife and I'm in. Remember, we're the noble good guys.
The code gets me in the front door. But we're immediately found out. Not sure why we bothered with sneaking in if we were just gonna kill everyone. So just like on the first world, I'm exploring a Sith base. Funny how often this happens. I realize old man jedi, Jolee, can stun droids...very helpful. I find the missing local youth and they think the sith are here to help. I have to prove the sith are bad. This entails walking across the hall, find a dying friend, and then saying as much to the survivors. It's enough.
I grab the data and I'm out. Then I get arrested. I have to prove my innocence. I have a defender but he's not sharing the important detail: the sith are evil. The sith conspiring to be evil gets me a pass on breaking and murdering. Now the republic is like, go check on our underwater base. How nice, that's where we suspect the ancient star map to be.
This area is kinda interesting. It's a zombie like scenario. When trying to harvest the resource a loud noise made all the locals go crazy and start killing everyone. The locals are fish-ppl. Turns out there's a mythic giant shark that no one has seen. But the harvesting machines disturbed it. I guess it wants to protect the ecosystem.
So I have to do some underwater walking, just like the space walk. It's slow moving. But I have a sonic weapon to kill sharks. I feel about killing them. I wish it just drove them away.
Turns out there's two ways to handle the shark, either poison it and save the equipment or destroy the equipment and hope that works. It does. I don't know if there's a consequence to destroying the equipment, but when I'm later interviewed by the local judges in my THIRD trial on this planet, they seem to appreciate the preservation of the shark and resources. Seems the whole planet's wildlife could have been wiped out.
Oh yeaj, and the star map was by the shark.
So the shark sensed a threat to the planet and so called upon all sea life, including the locals, to fight in its defense. Tho against their will. Interesting, but violent.
So now I have the star map. Time for the end game...I think. Hopefully it won't take much longer. I'm concerned about the final boss fight. Some accidental reading has led me to thinking it'll be tough...and I'm not very motivated for a tough fight.
So, I dont "love" the story. I appreciate the gameplay and dialogue choices, but the dialog is not written particularly well. There's an impatient anger behind it. Like the writer assumed gamers would get board with the story, so offered them harsh dialog choices to compensate.
I've watched several videos from someone claiming to be doing an analysis. He hates the story more than I could dream of. But he's calling out tropes and structure issues. He's not always over critical.
Oh well...
#Zach's Game Journal#PLAYING#Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic#Video Games#Gaming#Android Gaming
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we should just kiss like real people do
This is for the incredible @drarrily-we-row-along. C, happiest of birthdays to you. We're so lucky to have you here in fandom.
You requested "Like Real People Do" by Hozier, and I hope I did this song justice! Enjoy 💛
Do me a favor, alright? Just—if I'm the saint you believe me to be, the noble do-gooder you think I am, then can you trust me, now, to tell you the truth?
I know how it feels, that urge to confess every sin you've committed, every transgression and shortcoming you possess as you wait for me, the world, to reject you; tell you what you already think, which is that you're not good enough.
Showing someone the worst of yourself, and receiving forgiveness or even absolution in return, is a heady relief. But it comes at a price, which is the lack of trust in yourself to leave your mistakes in the past. You forget that I've known you at your lowest, and you saw me at mine. You forget, I tried to administer my own form of justice, which ended up being one of my biggest regrets. I am not the arbiter of what's right and wrong, and I certainly wasn't at sixteen.
And yet, you forgave me. You still do, every time you let me kiss the scars on your chest. You remind me, fingers tangled in my hair, mouth open and panting, that I can atone without self-flagellation, I can proceed with love instead of anger. And you can, too.
You haven't used up your chances in life to make mistakes; you are allowed imperfections. You are allowed to give yourself grace. You're allowed to forgive yourself even if other people don't. And you're allowed to let happiness into your life.
You grew up being told that you were exceptional, pure and perfect. You were taught that there was right and wrong, but only in terms of correct and incorrect. Nuance was for the weak. Anything other than etiquette and success was frivolous. I hope you'll start to see the beauty in messiness, the joy in branching out. I hope you'll let me show you how simple it can be; it doesn't need to be spontaneously trekking across the world or drinking ale in dirty pubs.
It can be lazy kisses on a sun-warmed cobblestone street in the middle of Diagon. It can be picnics in the park and snowball fights and wearing shorts in the summertime. It can be small, safe indulgences.
You don't owe me a list of your faults, your mistakes. You don't need to show me your own imperfections in order to make sure I still want to love you.
I'm not asking, or expecting, for you to be anything other than who you are.
I hope you'll learn to trust, and to love, yourself the way I do.
#drarry#draco malfoy#harry potter#draco and harry#harry and draco#draco x harry#harry x draco#draco/harry#harry/draco#draco malfoy and harry potter#harry potter and draco malfoy#draco malfoy x harry potter#harry potter x draco malfoy#hpdm#drarry squad#drarry fic#drarry fanfic#drarry fanfiction#drarry ficlet#drarry drabble#drarry fandom#hp fic#hp fanfic#hp fanfiction#hp fandom#harry potter fandom#harry potter fic#harry potter fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#phoebe-delia
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The Six Realms
Okay, so I was pretty close to giving up on writing analyses but I'm back LMFAO plus I see we're close to 100 followers and I just want to thank you guys for being so very supportive <3
Alright, I'm not sure if anyone's ever written about this, but if an analysis like this exists, please do let me know because I'm kind of curious as to what other people think about this, too!
Remember that time Fukuchi spoke about bringing "about the five signs of an angel's death"?
I read a little bit more about it, and as a minor content warning: this analysis will focus on a few religious aspects (Buddhism + Hinduism). So if I get any of the facts wrong, firstly: I do not mean any disrespect to either religion, and secondly: please do correct me if I interpret anything in the wrong way.
Spoilers for BSD chapter 90 onwards + BEAST!AU under the cut!
So I'll start by talking about the Decay of Angels. As we all know, the members include Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, and Bram Stoker, and their leader, Fukuchi Ochi. After Fyodor's arrest, the Decay of Angels came into light with Nikolai murdering four government officials in a week. These murders symbolise the Buddhist cycle of existence, or otherwise known as samsara: the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.
"We are the Decay of Angels—hiding here as terrorists, a 'murder association', five people who will announce the demise of the celestial world."
Nikolai Gogol, chapter 57
Samsara is described to be a concept beyond human understanding. According to Hinduism, samsara is the physical world where every being has its soul trapped into a physical vessel. The Hindus believe that everything has a soul, and due to a soul's attachment to desire, it is forced into a deathless cycle of being born, dying, and reincarnating into a different body. In Buddhism, the ultimate way to break free from this cycle is by obtaining nirvana.
Nirvana is a Sanskrit word for the goal of the Buddhist path: enlightenment or awakening. In Pali, the language of some of the earliest Buddhist texts, the word is nibbana; in both languages it means "extinction" (like a lamp or flame) or "cessation." It refers to the extinction of greed, ill will, and delusion in the mind, the three poisons that perpetuate suffering. Nirvana is what the Buddha achieved on the night of his enlightenment: he became completely free from the three poisons. Everything he taught for the rest of his life was aimed at helping others to arrive at that same freedom.
- TRICYCLE'S definition of nirvana
As Fukuchi mentions in the panel above, there are six different realms of existence. These realms represent every possible state of existence, but one cannot live in a specific realm forever. Depending on whether or not one's past actions were morally good or bad, an individual is born into one of these realms. Basically, the controlling factor of which realm a person is born into is dependent on their respective karma. The realms are separated into two categories: the hellish ones and the heavenly ones.
The Deva Realm: where beings are rewarded for the good deeds they have done. This realm is void of anything unpleasant. It is basically paradise— empty of unfulfilled desires, any form of suffering, and fears of every kind. Religious individuals, however, do not seek to be born into this realm since its attitude is more or less carefree.
The Asura Realm: where demigods are admitted. Asuras are driven by greed and envy, and may come in conflict with human beings since they are quite similar. They are powerful beings, but quarrel with each other quite a bit, making this realm quite undesirable to be reborn into.
The Animal Realm: where beings are given the form of an animal (you probably guessed that lol). Individuals here don't actually have good karma to take pride in, but rather, they are born into this realm to work off their bad karma (by being slaughtered, hunted, or forced to work, etc). Being born into this realm forces one to atone for their past sins by living out their life as an animal.
The Hell Realm: where one is punished for their evil actions. The most merciless of realms, where one pays for their transgressions through pure suffering, methods of which include: dismemberment, starvation, and psychological/physical torture. However, once a person's term is fulfilled in this realm, they are presumably promised to be reborn into a higher state.
The Preta Realm: similar to the hell realm, in which beings pay for their past sins (specifically: greed and stinginess) by having to survive through hunger and thirst. This realm is also known as the 'ghost realm,' because some pretas are psychologically tortured by being forced to live in places their past selves have lived in. They are invisible to human beings living at that time, which pushes them to face the depths of despair and loneliness. Your typical horror movie, really.
The Human Realm: the only realm where one's actions determine their future. The status (social ranking, physical wellbeing, and so on) of a human being in this realm is determined by their past actions, but due to the fact that a person has their own conscience to differentiate good morals from bad, the actions they commit in this realm have the power to determine which realm they are sent to next.
Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, let's shift our focus to the Book. Very little is known about the Book, but the basic fundamentals of how it works is that whatever is written in the book will come into existence only if its contents follow the rules of karma. In addition to that, only a few sentences can be written into a single page of the Book, and it must follow the current narrative of the story.
If I'm not wrong, the first time the Book was mentioned was by Fitzgerald, who wanted it to resurrect his deceased daughter in hopes of restoring his wife's mental health. The next time the Book is brought up is when Fyodor's intentions to possess it are divulged; his goal was to decimate the global population of ability-users. And now, the current arc has the Book as its central focus, with a single page in Fukuchi's possession.
[ BEAST!AU spoilers ]
The Book acts as the central point of multiverses, with each character's lives differing from universe to universe.
Dazai committing suicide in this alternate universe stands in sharp contrast with how he decided to start up a new life in the main universe.
Oda staying alive to act as a mentor to Akutagawa in the ADA differs from how Oda uses his death to prompt Dazai to "be on the side that saves people."
And of course, the way Atsushi and Akutagawa have their positions switched in the two universes depicts how different their lives would be if they were given the chance to be mentored by different people— these are just a few examples of how the Book houses an endless amount of possibilities.
[ end of BEAST!AU spoilers ]
Hypothetically speaking, this kind of reminds me of the differing realms I mentioned before, where suffering is promised in some realms, and better things are granted in the rest, depending on one's karma, or the deeds they've done in their past lives. In this scenario, perhaps one's past life can be understood as one's current life in a different universe. That's just a personal opinion though. Take it as you will.
side note: Keep in mind that the person who is more or less impervious to the Book's effect is Dazai, with his nullification ability. I wouldn't want to propose any theories in this aspect (I don't believe I'm fully fact-checked ;_;), but I could use Dazai as a raw example of how your choices affect your future. If Dazai had decided to stay in the Port Mafia after Oda's death, or if he even decided to go through with his suicidal fixations, life would've been different for him in the root universe (obviously, ryley) I mean, you could basically understand that from how he ended up in the BEAST au, but imagine if he really did slip up in his decision-making in any of the universes.
Many analysts have proposed that he went MIA (early in his life) from the main universe for a while to figure out how the BEAST universe worked, whilst having the Book to his advantage. Perhaps his actions were guided? I'm not saying he's all-knowing, but he's sure as hell smart. I'm not sure if Kafka was trying to highlight the concept of karma when it comes to Dazai, but if he is, then I suppose you could say that Dazai is pretty much unaffected by the rules of karma, existing as the centerpiece of all the multiverses. No Longer Human is the namesake of his ability, but the book talks about disqualification from societal norms and generally, the world. I was talking about it with a friend, and they reminded me that Yozo (the main protagonist) was pretty strong in his views against society. Like he didn't speak out of total defeat, he spoke out of defense. If there was anything Dazai actually lost to, it was his guilt— "Living itself is a source of sin."
Then again, that's my personal interpretation since everyone has their unique perspective of his writings. In terms of the actual adaptation, you could translate the word 'disqualification' to 'insusceptibilty' when if it came to the Book's effects on Dazai? This side note is becoming really long lmao anyways I'll link a few theories which afflicted me with brainrot down below.
Another thing before I wrap up, the name 'Decay of Angels' stemmed from Yukio Mishima's book entitled 'The Decay of An Angel.' This is the final novel to the author's tetralogy: 'The Sea of Fertility.' The main protagonist, Honda, meets a person he believes to be a reincarnation of his friend, Kiyoaki, who takes the form of a young teenage boy named Tōru. The last novel of this series enhances Mishima's dominant themes of the series as a whole:
the decay of courtly tradition in Japan
the essence and value of Buddhist philosophy and aesthetics
Mishima’s apocalyptic vision of the modern era
Again, this could be referred to what Fukuchi goes on to say:
Some people view the concept of samsara optimistically, justifying it by saying that perhaps each individual is given a second (third, fourth, fifth, who knows) chance to refine their actions in order to be birthed into a better realm, with their karma being the independent variable.
On the other hand, other people, specifically the Hindus, view the cycle of existence as some sort of plague. To them, the flow of life and being forced to endure the suffering of mere existence in any form was somewhat frowned down upon. Some Hindus viewed samsara as a trap. Besides, having one's soul being limited to a physical body for the rest of eternity was not very appealing, especially since where they ended up at depended on the karmic value their past actions surmounted.
Even so, particular types of Buddhists don't seek nirvana, but instead, like the Hindus, they make an effort to be good people of society, building up their good deeds to increase the likelihood of being reborn into one of the better realms.
As mentioned before, the Deva Realm was the home of angels, the most carefree, gratified beings to exist. Fukuchi describes these angels as the people who don't get their hands dirty, the people who act as the puppeteers of society: politicians.
In terms of parallels, angels were the most fortunate and powerful, but they didn't have anyone ruling over them. A lack of supervision would lead to the abuse of power, which is what I believe Fukuchi was referring to. Deeming himself the Decay of Angels, he sought to prove himself as the 'sign of death that falls on the nation's greed.'
A few fun facts (okay, not really) about Yukio Mishima: he committed seppuku (ritual suicide by disembowelment) on the day he held a speech to voice out his unpopular political beliefs to the public. Mishima deeply treasured traditions and opposed the modern mindset the nation was advancing forward to adapt eventually. In his last book, The Decay of an Angel, he spoke about the five signs which complete the death of an angel:
Here are the five greater signs: the once-immaculate robes are soiled, the flowers in the flowery crown fade and fall, sweat pours from the armpits, a fetid stench envelops the body, the angel is no longer happy in its proper place.
The Decay of an Angel, p.53
The reviews about this series I've read so far describe Mishima's works to be quite complex; his writings demanded a lot of time to deconstruct and understand. They were highly symbolic, and he was pretty obsessed with death and the 'spiritual barrenness of the modern world.' I think you could attach a few strings from here to the mindsets of the DOA members. Of course, this parallel is completely abstract, but I'll go on rambling anyway:
He should have armed them with the foreknowledge that would keep them from flinging themselves after their destinies, take away their wings, keep them from soaring, make them march in step with the crowd. The world does not approve of flying. Wings are dangerous weapons. They invite self-destruction before they can be used. If he had brought Isao to terms with the fools, then he could have pretended that he knew nothing of wings.
The Decay of an Angel, p.113
I suppose you could resonate Nikolai with that excerpt. As much as Fukuchi takes the lead in this whole murder association, I'd like to believe that each member of the DOA plays an equally interesting part in whatever movement they're trying to execute. Fyodor feels it is his god-sent purpose to cleanse the world of its sins, his motto being, "Let the hand of God guide you." Sigma doesn't know where he belongs, since his origination comes from a page in the Book, and is fueled by the desperation to find a reason to live. Bram holds one of the most powerful abilities which is counted to be one of the "Top Ten Calamities to Destroy the World."
What I mean to say is that the DOA members are incredibly powerful, and they're not your ordinary antagonists (or I'm just biased). It's not just overthrowing authorities, mass genocide, and world domination— you could say that each individual is trying to utilize their purposes to their fullest expenditures, and the way they're trying to assert their plan into action is a little more passive-aggressive (framing the Agency, having a convo with a suicidal dude in jail, etc). They're the gray area between evil and good. As they framed the good guys for their own crimes, they're trying to conquer the bad guys for exploiting the innocent as they please.
This post would definitely age well if all hell breaks loose in the current arc (as if it didn't) and Kafka doesn't give us a happy ending.
That's all I have to say for now I guess! Thank you for reading, and once again, if anyone else something they wanna share, feel free to do so <3
sources (tryna follow Q's example ^_^) :
the six realms
samsara
the decay of angels
beast!au
the book
the sea of fertility
yukio mishima
theory: dazai’s emotional/mental state in beast!au
q’s theory: dazai being the protector of the book
theory: beast!dazai and the book
#my brain hurts#bsd#bsd characters#bsd analysis#bungo stray dogs#literature analysis#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#bsd beast#bsd manga#bsd spoilers#bsd fyodor#bsd fukuchi#bsd sigma#bsd nikolai gogol#bungo stray dogs wan#bsd decay of angels#bsd hunting dogs#bsd port mafia#bsd armed detective agency
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Dragon Age - Cullen Romance drabble:
Spoilers! for Cullen's romance and the Trespasser DLC for the "Dragon Age Inquisition" games under the cut.
Read at your own discretion:
.
.
.
"The day you kissed me on the battlements..."
"... how long have you wanted to do that?"
...
"Longer than I should admit..."
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.
.
Cullen has come a very long way since he left the Templar's to fight for the inquisition at seeker Cassandra's behest.
He saw this as an opportunity not only to do something about the looming threat, but to also perhaps break away from the order that bound him. To be free and get control back over his life. Which he was never afforded during his time in the circle. That he did indeed voluntarily joined. Probably not the best to leave life changing choices in the hands of a child...
He was an extremely young and naive back then. However, now he is now older, and hopefully a bit more wiser as well.
.
.
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His eyes opened and his mind more clearer without being blinded, nor controlled by Lyrium or the order he once served...
Then "they" appeared.
In the beginning he only thought of them as an asset that the Maker had sent to aid them.
But more and more he realized that was wrong to think of them that way.
...
He regrets not being able to follow his heart. Not allowing to get close to anyone in fear.
He still has that fear... but it was more so a fear to lose something he should not have, or derserve to have...
But even so there they were. Maker sent or not.
Another chance.
A chance he will not let slip by again. Even if the world was ending and the heavens were beings torn asunder.
Or who or whatever gets in the way...
.
.
.
It did not matter they are a mage. It did not matter if they are the herald of Andreste and the inquisitor.
Even after they seen him at his most vulnerable. Even after he confessed to them his past transgressions against their kind and what their kind did to him... because of how the order he once served allowed for that to happen...
.
.
.
Because All that mattered was...
They love him and he feels the same. No title nor God could replace or get in the way of that.
He could never forgive himself, but they forgave him.
Give him a chance to atone. To let go and to become better...
And allow himself things he had deined himself for so long...
To allow himself to be vulnerable... To love...
... to finally breath, and to be loved.
--------------------------
Hey thanks for reading my Cullen Romance drabble!
I am completely obsessed with this and this man...
Want more?
Check out my "Cullen Head-Cannon Drabble"
Or
Collection of "First Moments" in Cullen's romance route drabble
And...
Alistair vs Cullen O.O
...
Yeah ummm that's all for now x))))
May the Maker watch over your and Andreste preserve you~
#cullen rutherford#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#dragon age: inquisition#commander cullen#cullen#cullen rutherford appreciation post#cullen stanton rutherford#cullen dragon age#dragon age cullen#character appreciation#character analysis#my post#drabble
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Okay putting some severance thoughts under a spoiler tag bc this blog is just free will now:
Something something if Helly is a sacrificial lamb for her family (and perhaps a willing one given what little we know about her full outtie-self) then something something Severance floor unknowingly brings everyone in Data Refinement who has transgressions in one place. Helly may have done some sins given her family history and so far I wonder how much her outie self truly believes in the cause? vs her just needing to fill her role in the family. I believe Irving is an inside spy based on what we see of his gathered evidence in his apartment (perhaps he did things in the Navy he’s trying to atone for/perhaps under funding from Lumos) -not to mention Mark is told “The forces taking down Lumos are bigger than you can imagine” So what project is Irving potentially a part of? After that, we’re then left with Dylan and Mark.
I’m still not sure about Dylan since we don’t know much BUT my working theory atm is that Mark accidentally caused the car crash that killed his wife. We see he has a problem with alcohol throughout the series (drinking constantly any time he’s not at work basically + and that whole post 1st date scene where he berates the petition-worker) - yes it could be a symptom of grief/depression but I wonder if it stemmed from before the accident.
- His sister said “she made you better” - maybe he had a history of drinking and drank too much one night, thought he was good to drive, and then caused the accident??
- I’m also convinced Lumos is doing something with bodies - maybe that’s how they got their hands on his wife to begin with?? Or maybe she was declared dead at the accident but was brought back without notifying Mark somehow.
So flash forward - Mark separately applies to the Lumos Severance Floor some time after her death. Cobel wants to see if Severance can really take away someone’s entire recognition of someone - she did say Mark was her ‘special project’. Maybe that’s why she was able to get him hired/try all the things to test if they remembered each other (giving the candle she made to her to use in the room/having them have therapy together/etc.)
Mark sees his wife on the Severed floor, doesn’t know it’s her, but tells her “he’s sorry”. I feel like that can come back in a huge way now that he knows she’s alive and the audience may see a flashback or get backstory from him in S2 on what went down before or on the night of the accident.
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