I NEED TO MAKE AN NSFW TAG SO Y’ALL CAN BLOCK ME IF U WISH BUT LIKE

WHAT’S NICEEEEE

NADJA OF ANTIPAXOS in WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS 1.09

Man, sometimes living alone with ADHD really do be like:

Me: Huh, I wonder why I'm so shaky and tired and seeing spots everywhere

Also me: *hasn't eaten food in two days, hasn't had water in just as long, has been hunched over current hyper fixation for hours without moving, hasn't seen sunlight in days*

Me: .... Just one of life's great mysteries I suppose

Detective Noir AU

Alright, this au has been sitting around, waiting for me to finish it but chances are, I never will :((

So instead, I'll just post what I have so far

This was inspired by that one comment on the au post the author made(at this point you could consider me a stalker for the amount of hours I've scrolled through her feed💀)

First things first, none other than our main character himself, Detective Hollow!

I made him the detective in this one mainly because I was basing it off of the theory that if there was no heroine the keyholder would simply become the hero instead(don't remember where I read this but I'm guessing it was the webtoon comment section).

I also my have just really wanted to draw him in an overcoat

gonna be honest, I did little to no research going into this AU, the thing I most tried to learn about was the femme fatale so I could get a good view on how to design Buddy

Speaking of the femme fatale:

Seems like someone got caught in the spotlight!

And before you ask, yes, those are pants. Weird ones, but pants nonetheless. I swear, I hate lighting when it's from the front. Frontal lighting can go fuck itself. Please ignore the little help lines I put in

Honestly, Buddy's outfit was probably the hardest part of this one. I wanted him to look slutty, but I didn't want to make it TOO slutty, but I feel like I may have added WAYY too many folds in his pantsuit and I kinda messed up on the overcoat lol. The diamond on his chest was inspired by the diamond on the villainess key more than anything and I tried to incorporate that into his gloves too.

Anyway, have some potential outfit sketches I made:

the two I thought might come off as too slutty and

the ultimate winner of the outfit ideas

As you can see the diamond chest window and fur coat were a mut in this outfit and I'm pretty happy with the end result

Y'all know how the femme fatale usually has to seduce the main character a.k.a. the detective?

Well, y'all know me so have an extra just for you <33

But I'm not done just yet!

Remember how I said that I made Chase the hero because of the lack of a heroine in the story? Well...

I did some more surface level research(and I mean very surface level) and decided to adapt the trope of the girl-next-door archetype for him!!

Don't think it suits him, since they usually just sit pretty and wait for the detective to notice them, but they do have badass roles once in a while and I live for those!!!

The one Chase has taken on doesn't though sadly :')

I decided to go with Charlie Hollow for this one because it sounded more like something the timid and 'pure'(yuck I know, but sadly film noir movies often prop up comparisons between the femme fatale and the girl-next-door, this being one of them) girl next door would have

Overall I tried to make this one as cutesy as possible because, why not lol

Lastly(I apologise, I made this in a rush because I was running out of motivation)

The distance between Buddy and the detective sure did close QUICK-

Originally I was planning on adding Deacon as a police officer and now that I think about it I could technically fit Prunella in here as well, but I just don't have any willpower left to keep this thing alive

My art blocks been acting up recently and I can't even pick up the pencil without immediately wanting to put it down :((

I wish I could have continued this and maybe I will someday, but until then this'll just stay in my drafts

I JUST WATCHED TROLLS 2 AND 3 AND POMNI AND FAGATHA ARE LITTERALY THAT ONE COUPLE IN TROLL 3 THEY ARE ACTUALLY BRUCE AND HIS WIFEE!!!! THEY ARE THEM!!!!

first of sll, i want to sy that youre completely right and this is kind of them and secomd of all, i am about to be hormh for trolls 2 world tpur delta the country troll because i need to talk aboitit so badly. im putting a warning now that i am going to he HORNY i will get NSFW !!! i jst neees to get this off my chest i domt.care read at your own risk ive warned yo all

for the record, i love and respext women and i think all women are complex and have so muxb to.them. i also am normal

this womaj right here ... this love of my life .. never ib my life hav ei thought that trolls coukd have sex appeal, i domt look st them and think yeah whatever fuckable because they never have. bit her ? her aura lf sadness, her i take no shit thing, her toughness ... god i get the sex appeal now i fucking get it because i want her so .. so badly ...

i want to.fuckimg RIDE her and i donr even mean her horse side i dont want to ride her like a cowgirl bit god if she wants to do it in cowgirl position i happily fucking ill get in posoition ill get rrady and god o will JUMP on whateber thr fucm she will have me juml on i dont even lime dick but if she had one ? im giving the most sloppy, toe curling, gut wrenching, hair pulling, blood sucking, world ending, pussy shatterimg, cock destroying, orgasm overload head of the WORLD. illngive a mew meaning to a blowjob and if she has a pussy shit ill fuckong eat it too id do whatever she wnated id get on my knees for her id hump the FUCK out of her four horse legs shw wpukd have my wetness stuck in her fur for weeks afrer that and id lick kt lff okay id clesn it off for her id use my tongue skills tp do the jlb RIGHR and id ensing eery ssimgle second of having my tomfue on her. i want her to mount me like a fuckong horse i want her on.top of me as i lay stosmxh on.the floor i want her destroying me i want my inskde ANNIHILATED !!!! i want her to fuck me so hard my ovaries become scrambled eggs abd she tames them out, fries them, seasoms them, and serves them to me on a plate and tells me i did a good job with her beautoful southern voice. i want her to literlly obliterate me i want her to trample me i want my stomach lining to be destroyed becayse she wilm shove her hoove so far down my thrlst that it will cause friction burn and make my saliva acidic i liteelaly want her to est me oit and make me see god and have him be disgusted and terrfied at the sounds im makimg he needs to be scared and regret ever making genitals for humans becayse the face and the sounds i will be making will caise him to start planning a homosapien extermaination to start over humanity because hes terrfied of what he created by giving humajs sexual pleasure thats how good she will eat me out.

and.god her voide ? her fucking voice ? her southern accent ???? take me already ??? i want tp make her scream i need to mske her scream i want to.her her say my namewith her southern accent and i want her to call me sweerie throufhout it and ill make sure i please her so much that she will say it bwcause indeserce ir after makung her eyes rolls baxk and her legs kick i wanr her to kick me as shes having an orgasn i aant her o literally send me flying woth her kicks she shpukd kick me so hard that inget internal bleeding but, even with blood driping down my mouth from my lungs being punctured from my broken ribs, i come back.to help ride her throifh her orgasm and give her as many more as she wants i want her pulling my hair until she rips it all out and ingo bald id have a wig eveey single time and id suoer glue it onto my head so i coukd fall how jars shes pulling i wsnt her to pull that superglued wig off every time and i want to have my skull showikg by the ampunt of skin and musfle she pulled off

AND THE HAID ???THE FUCKING HAIE ???? GOD !!!! IM GETTING STARTED ON THAT BECAUSE JESUF FUCKING CHRIST I MEAN JOLLY FUCKING JEEZ ILL DO ANYTHING JUST TAKE ME ALREASY !!! her hair looks sosos soft and i want to touch jt .. i woukd beg for some of her hair, and then id take crochet courses abd lesrn how to crochet and after id do all that and do lots of practice id make knickers and a bra using the hair she had so kindly given me and id wear it every single day every single hour eveeh single minite for all the secknds that pass and it wpukd feel like delta herself touching me everyrwhere in those places for so long id even make fill on clothes out of he rhair and id wear them rverday and id get the appeal of clorhed sex, id never take my clothes off anymore, i woukdnt even have to because just having those clothes on would count as clothed sex becaause of how lustful id feel just wesing them. everyrime id move and the fricrion make the clorhes get mkre omto my body id start sweating, abd the swear would make the cllthes stick mkre tonmy body abd at that point id have the mosr earth desteoyong orgasm, the ground bellw me would be so destroyed that i could see the other side of the world from the hole i jjst created using my hole do you undeeatand ? im gay for herm i want her. i want to make a dildo using her hoove shape, and then i want to make a.cover for it using her hair anr that thong woukd be inside me every single fucking dsy nonstop id neve rtake ir our, by day two it woukd be disimtegrated because of how wet id made ir i woukd mske it out of steel or whateve5 fuckingg stromg ass materail but the poert of my pussy and love woukd get it to disintgerate and go soggy lke paper. that thing woukd merge inside me that it woukd count as a third limb it wpukd count as a whole new beong inside me id name it. my medical records would have tonbe changed to account for the thing i made in her honour because it ould nor officialby be part of me. it woukd be in there forever.

basiclsly, what im trying to say is, i think shes a reallyy cool charavter 👍

The only time when you’d say “this email could have been a meeting”

hornyposting huh? I need to live under there and lick his clit all day long please and thank you

you and me both, i need to make him pant and squirm, i need him for breakfast lunch and dinner

Jake #1

Well it’s official

I’m a Donnie Stan

Me, fighting tooth and nail against my irl friends who are sw*fties: yeah well, maybe I want my sad girl music to have a 3 minute guitar solo and distorted audio after the second verse of vaguely gay lyrics have you considered that ?!

By unpopular demand, 💕 Val

Like who cares if straight girls are romancing Astarion, it’s more worrying that you think Astarion needs to get “railed” because talk about misunderstanding a character totally

It was a joke but continue to be mad that I find a character sexually attractive in a way different than you :)

ok i sincerely dont mean this in any snarky way but: what is the actual solution to the widespread distrust in establishment voices' legitimacy? im not saying we should blindly trust govt sources, quite the opposite in fact. but what are we supposed to do about the entrenched american right wing voting block that is absolutely unwilling to consider objective facts and looks at any presentation of raw facts/data as being inherently very biased against them? like i know its their whole shtick (one that is rhetorically very effective in terms of propaganda feedback loops go, i will concede, lmfao 🙃) but the whole idea of "THEY are LYING to you and every data point you are shown is a LIE" is just....... incredibly difficult to unprogram? what do we do? sincere question ! what the fuck do we do?

i think one of the reasons i’m so drawn to xue yang (besides Hot. and Vaguely Evil) is that every time i see him i’m staring at an alternate universe wei wuxian. he and wwx are absolutely each other’s ‘what could have been’ and watching them interact is so fascinating

I genuinely think that Felix is the only one with some backbone when it comes to Dimitri but it’s also sad that he just doesn’t know how to help him. All he can do is to insult him and call him a boar and other stuff BUT I guess at least he’s the only one who acknowledges that he is literally Not Well right now

I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.