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seeingivy · 2 days

Text

long story short

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

songs mentioned: saturn by sza, so american by olivia rodrigo, lover by taylor swift, good luck babe by chappell roan, margaret ft. bleachers by lana del ray, make you feel my love by adele, false god by taylor swift, only angel by harry styles, and long story short by taylor swift.

an: buckle in friends. songs and tweets and all :D

previous part linked here

six months later

The two of you decide that it would be smarter not to stay in the townhouse, for the time being. Because while Eren had bent backwards and forwards to buy the house without Levi noticing – which included paying a hefty tip to the realtors dealing with the sale – there was something too melancholy about staying there – and not having a plethora of voices echoing across the walls.

Eren’s first plan – to stay in the cabin in Ireland that his parents owned – was your next best bet. And really, it was the quietest little patch of land, accompanied by what might be the coziest town you’ve ever been in – and it was every bit of perfect.

The cabin was two stories and maybe the uniquest little house you’ve ever been in. With gold accents, a green kitchen, and what might be the prettiest garden – it was almost far too easy to pretend that you and Eren had left the bright shimmering lights and camera flashes behind.

Eren’s morning usually starts hours before yours – only because he insists that he has to run in the mornings to get a good start to the day. If you’re in a good enough mood, he’s able to coax you to come with him and the two of you choose to walk instead. Sometimes you wonder if Sukuna and Teddy talk about the same thing on their walks that you and Eren do.

The neighbors are either too old to mention anything or perhaps too polite. Because they show up here and there, unassumingly with a fresh loaf of baked bread, that they simply couldn’t let go to waste. And their kids that you happen to see on holidays, their eyes linger for a little too long – almost like they’re trying to convince themselves that it really is the two of you – but never make a comment about if they ever do get the shred of confidence.

There’s a kid, barely eleven, who brings homemade yogurt around on Friday, as an errand before he can go play with his friends. Sometimes Eren makes him late to his basketball games, because he finds himself lingering by the door too long, talking about things that are entirely lost to you. Though you should have figured as much, because Eren was always popular with the kids.

And you find a stray cat three months in – one that Eren lovingly names Milo. A tiny british shorthair, with light green eyes and white fur. Upon first inspection, you told Eren jokingly that you simply had to keep him, because he had Eren’s eyes. Eren took the joke a little too seriously, but the little diva that Milo ended up being always kept things interesting.

The only thing annoying about the cabin is Eren’s placement of the furniture, specifically the well loved coffee table that, in your opinion, needed to be centered in the main room. And that’s only because every morning, you’d get your breath nearly knocked out of your chest when you walked straight into it.

“You know, you need to move that goddamn coffee table.” you grumble, rubbing at the side of your hip.

Eren looks over, before placing his hands on your hips and lifting you up onto the counter. It’s a lingering kiss that he presses to your knuckles, as you use your free hand to rub at your eyes, before looking over at the pan.

“Connie’s on his way?” you ask.

“An hour out.” Eren responds.

“Okay, I’ll go set the clothes out. Anything specific you want?”

“The green hoodie. That you stole and thought I didn’t notice.” Eren grates.

You jump off the counter, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek, before padding back into the room and setting the clothes aside. And it’s only a few minutes before Eren’s at your side, giving you a half-appreciative smile for returning the hoodie.

“Are you nervous? You know he’s going to have a meltdown right?”

Eren scoffs.

“Serves him right for what he did. Walking around talking about his girlfriend – you know, I’m half convinced she doesn’t even exist, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes.

“He’s literally bringing her along. You should have at least told him I would be here so you know…he doesn’t have a heart attack or something.”

The two of you took the idea of privacy too seriously. A little too serious, because now six months had passed and most of your friends didn’t even know you were together. And really, the two of you were very close to getting found out since you had an awards show to attend at the end of the month.

If Eren was any bit as hopeless as the neighbors mentioned, they would have the two of you figured out within a split second.

Levi and Hange knew, naturally. And then Colt and Falco, and by extension Gabi, since Falco seemingly could keep secrets, just not from her. And it extended out slowly – your parents, his and Zeke, Lana and Sukuna, and Jean and Mikasa.

Lana and Sukuna was an accident. Because Eren had been calling Teddy and you accidentally walked in the background. Jean and Mikasa were similar and only because you accidentally let his name slip from your mouth when you called them after their honeymoon.

The secret was well kept, but you knew the news was about to spread around to everyone, because Connie was about to find out, when he realized that you were living here with Eren during his little visit.

“Well, it serves him right. He’s about to tell everyone we know. Because he’s going to have to tell Reiner, who will tell Annie who obviously can’t keep it from Armin and it’s just going to snowball from there.” Eren mutters.

You shake your head at him, as the two of you pad out to the front where Eren’s left the plates of eggs steaming. You shuffle into your chair – making it a point to slam your notebook shut – and naturally, the gesture doesn’t get past Eren.

“What are you writing?” Eren asks.

“Nothing.”

Eren grins.

“Are you writing a song about me?” Eren jokes.

You roll your eyes. And Eren’s too quick with it – guising it by putting his arm around your waist – but he all but snatches the book from underneath your elbow. And he looks to you for confirmation before he starts flipping to the page he was looking for you can see the recognition clock on his face, before he looks over at you.

“Saturn, hm?”

You take the book back from him, running your fingers over the inked lines and the tiny drawing in the corner.

If karma's really real How am I still here? Just seems so unfair I could be wrong though If there's a point to being good Then where's my reward? The good die young and poor I gave it all I could

Stuck in this terradome All I see is terrible Making us hysterical There's got to be more, got to be more Sick of this head of mine Intrusive thoughts, they paralyze Nirvana's not as advertised There's got to be more, been here before

Ooh (ooh, ooh) Life's better on Saturn Got to break this pattern Of floating away Ooh (ooh, ooh) Find something worth saving It's all for the taking I always say

I'll be better on Saturn None of this matters Dreaming of Saturn, oh

It plagues Eren, in the smallest of ways. It was almost like he could tell that on certain days, the reality of it all seemed to wear you down, to the point where you really didn’t say too much and spent far too much time by yourself outside. He figured this is the closest he would get to really understanding what it was like for you, in the two years that you spent by yourself.

And it does really bother him, that this is the only thing he can’t help you with. Because having six months of the still, quiet life gave you time to think, to really process everything that had happened.

And it was chilling. Because it would almost be easier, if this wasn’t the only thing plaguing your mind. But he had asked you time and time again and the answer was always the same – that you didn’t have any regrets, about how the two of you came back together, the relationships that you repaired, or even the havoc you wrecked at the award shows. That really, they were all means to an end.

But there was one regret you did have, and maybe in the cruelest of ways, it was the one you couldn’t put to rest in this lifetime – which was taking Marco for granted.

The smaller things helped – the sweet stories about him in the two years you missed, the voicemail that Eren had gifted you at the funeral, and all the polaroids you pulled off the wall. But deep down, in the pit of your stomach, it was the only piece of it all that you hadn’t been able to rectify yet.

“Yeah, Saturn.” you respond.

“Have you given any thought to my offer?” Eren asks.

You wrote songs about Marco often. And Eren read all of them, helping you work through piecing together the composition. But one of the songs – one you called Bigger Than The Whole Sky – seemed to concern Eren so much that he left a tiny little card on your pillow that night.

With the number to his therapist.

Eren doesn’t say much, only because he knows it’ll fall on deaf ears, and that sometimes with you – sometimes his hands in yours are the only thing that he can offer. And the quiet offer of the therapist he gave was more of a think piece for you – hoping that you’d at least give it a chance someday.

But the resolve of it all is quickly shattered when the doorbell rings – with Connie and his girlfriend behind the door.

Eren sighs.

“Are you ready for everyone to know our secret?” Eren asks.

“No. And yes. I’m kind of just excited to watch him kind of have a meltdown.”

Eren grins.

“You and me both. I’ll go get him.”

You pad into the kitchen, reaching for two empty dishes and plating the extra eggs for them as you hear Connie hollering at the door, and relish in the little wave of excitement that rises in your stomach.

“Okay, well. I made breakfast so just kind of help yourselves. Do you need the bathroom?” Eren asks.

“We’re good.” Connie responds

Eren gives you a bright and glimmering two dimpled smile as he stops in the kitchen, before looking over at Connie who now looks like he’s some mix of constipated and fraught.

“I made you guys some plates. I do hope you still like eggs, Connie, because we haven’t had a chance to do groceries lately.” you respond.

Connie’s eye twitches as you give him a bright smile before walking closer and opening up your arms. And he’s almost too confused – because he barely hugs you back before turning to Eren.

“What’s she doing here?” Connie asks.

Eren smiles.

“You’re not the only one with a secret girlfriend, Connie. Two can play that game.” Eren responds, as he takes the plates and gestures for Connie’s girlfriend to follow him to the main table.

Connie pauses, before looking over at you.

“You guys are pranking me, right? Because I didn’t tell you? Because that’s in no way funny.” Connie asks.

You point to the polaroids pinned on the fridge – a mix of old and new – before turning back to him.

“While we do love to mess with you, even we wouldn’t be that committed to a bit like this. Now come eat, you’ve had a long flight.” you respond.

Contrary to your wishes, Connie, in fact, does not eat. He spends the first ten minutes staring the two of you down – to the point where it’s almost creepy – before asking you an insane amount of questions.

When did you start dating?

Or better yet, when are you getting married?

How does it feel to be a traitor?

And it’s only after an insane amount of questioning, before he slumps back down into his chair, before offering the two of you a sweet smile.

“You’re really dating, right?” Connie asks.

Eren rolls his eyes.

“That’s the tenth fucking time you’ve asked me that. I’m starting to think that it’s insulting – is it really that shocking to you that a pretty girl would date me?” Eren asks.

Connie rolls his eyes right back.

“Yeah, when that pretty girl spends her time being just as clueless as you.” Connie responds.

You avert your gaze to your left, where Connie’s girlfriend – Maryam – is sitting and give her a smile. It’s one that she returns right back, before whispering underneath Connie and Eren’s bickering.

“You’ll have to forgive him. This is a really big deal to him.” she mumbles.

“Don’t worry, I’m well aware. He’s spent half of his young life trying to play cupid, I would only assume that it’s overwhelming to finally see your dreams come true.”

She gives you a smile, as you elbow Eren in the side, and signal for him to stop.

“Speaking of cupid, how did you and Connie meet?” you ask.

It’s horribly bad timing – because the big sip of water she took goes immediately back in the glass as she gives Connie a weary glare. And he gives her a bright grin, before turning back to you.

“See, it’s kind of funny. She –”

“Connie!” she whispers.

“What? You’re going to have to tell them eventually.” Connie responds.

“Yeah, but I just met them. This is the kind of stuff you tell people years later, as in "haha want to know something crazy?” not like…two seconds after you meet them.” she whispers back.

You and Eren turn to each other, giving each other a look, before turning back to Connie.

“They won’t care, I promise.” Connie responds.

She gives him a weary look, before turning back to the two of you with wide, doe eyes.

“Listen. I swear to god, I’m not a stalker. Y/N, I didn’t even know you were going to be here…and…and I didn’t even know I was like…talking to Connie before I was talking to Connie.”

Eren interrupts her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

She sighs, before lifting her palms and burying her eyes in the heels of her hand and Connie, for some unknown reason, seems to be enjoying himself a little too much. She gives you both one last look, before dropping her hands.

“I met Connie on stan twitter.”

“What?” you ask.

“Well, he was one of my mutuals. And I…I always talk to my mutuals and we used to text all the time. And then I started really liking him and…and we made a deal to kind of meet up when he was in New York. And then I showed up and he was just fucking standing there. I knew for years that Connie was on stan twitter since he always used to accidentally send his burner tweets to his main but…I didn’t think I was talking to fucking Connie.”

You and Eren bite down on your cheeks, fighting the urge to laugh.

“Connie, I think you’ve finally met your match. This is kind of perfect.” you respond.

“I know, right?” Connie responds, giving you a bright smile back.

“You didn’t like…think he was punking you?” Eren asks.

“Oh, I totally thought he was punking me. It was only until he mentioned all the things that we had talked about, over the years mind you, that I actually realized it was him I was talking to all this time. And it started to make more sense, because he always seemed to know more about things that were happening than what was kind of shown on the surface.” Maryam replies.

You shake your head.

“So who did you run a fan account for? Was it Connie?” you ask.

She pinches her face.

“Right. Well, I…I actually ran a fan account for you. Both of you. You’ve actually both interacted with me on Twitter…multiple times.”

You slam your fist down on the table.

“Oh my fucking god. You’re THE fan account girl. Your username is y/n jaeger and you…you have that green profile picture?” you ask.

“Holy shit. We’ve like literally talked about you multiple times.” Eren adds.

Connie takes his free arm and slings it around her shoulder, before flinging it around her shoulder.

“Told you, they literally don’t care.”

“I swear though, I’m really not a stalker.” she adds again, almost like she’s entirely embarrassed.

You and Eren shake your heads.

“Well, you didn’t even know I was going to be here.” you respond.

“And you didn’t even know that the person you were talking to on Twitter was Connie.” Eren adds.

“And for what it’s worth, if I remember right, you’ve been one of the people who’s been defending us since the start – especially when it wasn’t a very popular thing to do. Which is something we’re really grateful for. And well…I’m happy if Connie’s happy, which he very clearly is.”

Connie gives her a smile, one that she returns, before turning back to you guys.

“I know it’s kind of silly, but I just really liked you guys. I was really into fashion when I was a kid and I really liked your stylists. And then I watched your show and listened to your music – and I just really loved it. Classes and medical school and all that would get really stressful, but it was fun to talk about the little hints that you seemed to leave in your music and the beautiful documentary you made.”

You and Eren turn to each other and smile.

“We appreciate that, really. And well…this kind of worked out perfectly, because we might need your help in a few months.” you respond.

“With?” she asks.

Eren sighs.

“We kind of want to keep the public off of our tails for some time. While we’re fine with telling our friends now –”

“You better be fine with it because I already told Reiner and Sasha.” Connie adds.

Eren gives him a glare before turning back to Maryam.

“I know you have a lot of followers and if…if you made it seem like…”

“Like you guys weren’t dating, other people would believe it.” she finishes.

“Yeah. We’ve just spent so much of our relationship out in the open, we…we kind of want to share it with everyone when we’re ready.” you add.

She smiles.

“I’ll do what I can.”

Connie helps you make dinner on the last day of his visit – only as a gesture to thank the two of you for your hospitality and for finally getting back together. It gives Eren time to show Maryam the final scripts of Attack on Titan that he has saved, delighting her by sharing all the scenes that got cut or edited in the final season.

“Can I ask you a question?” Connie asks.

“Sure.”

“Are you happy?”

You smile.

“Very happy, Connie. Really.”

Connie gives you a smile, before leaning forward.

“But?” he asks.

“No buts. I am really happy.”

“I don’t doubt that, but…surely there must be other things you’ve been thinking about. I feel like there’s something else kind of lingering in your…aura.”

“Don’t talk to me about auras, Connie.”

“You’ve got a weird and off putting vibe every time I interact with you on your own, princess.”

You sigh.

“Did you talk to Eren?” you ask.

“No. I can just tell. So there is something that’s bothering you?”

You pause, abandoning the spoon in the pot, as you look down at the mix of noodles. It’s a pink sauce – one that Connie swears by – that included a decent amount of the leftover vodka that you and Eren had gifted to you by the neighbors. You made a passing joke that Jean and Mikasa would love this dish and it made Connie laugh so hard he nearly burned his own hand off.

And you’re not sure where it comes from but before you know it, there’s hot tears pouring out of your eyes and Connie’s warm arms around you. And it’s a quiet whisper that you’re able to muster out in response.

“Yeah. There’s something bothering me.” you respond.

“Well, no shit, princess. You’re getting snot all over my shirt. What is it?”

You fight the urge to laugh at the sarcasm before pulling back and looking up at him.

“Marco.”

Connie sighs, before giving you a nod.

“Yeah, that’ll do it.” Connie responds.

You pause.

“I just…feel like something’s wrong with me. Everyone else seemed to have moved forward from it or…or seem like they’re handling it better than me.”

“I think there’s different circumstances. What you have to move on from is entirely different from what the rest of them do.” Connie offers.

You heave another sigh, using the back of your hand to wipe the wetness away.

“What do you mean?”

“What you went through was entirely different than what someone like…Sukuna struggles with or Eren for that matter. They’ve had their fair share of struggles, but yours is just different than theirs. That means you can’t compare the two. They talked to them right until the end. And because of your circumstances, you didn’t. It must be hard not to blame yourself for it.”

Connie pauses.

“When I was struggling after rehab, being…being around things like that again, at afterparties and stuff…I found it really hard to even keep my head level in situations like that. It was so overstimulating…so overwhelming, that I found myself locking myself in my house alone with her for a week.”

“You sound like me.” you respond.

“That’s exactly the point. Sometimes things are so overwhelming that you can’t do anything but that. Locking yourself in the house till you have a bearing on it. And people like Sukuna and Eren, I…I almost envy them sometimes. They find a way to keep moving forward when all I can find myself doing is standing in one place and staring at myself from the outside in.”

“Eren’s really hopeful. And I know deep down that he is right. That Marco wasn’t mad at me, not in the slightest. But…I can’t help but be mad at myself. I feel like sometimes I’m reliving the entire thing over again.” you respond.

Connie smiles.

“You sound like me.” Connie murmurs.

“You seem fine, though. For the most part.” you add.

Connie reaches forward, cupping the side of your face.

“I’m lucky enough that the people I’ve wanted to make amends with are still here. But even then, that wasn’t enough, not for the blame. Sometimes…you need a little extra help. And really Y/N, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Connie’s ears seem to ring in your ears as you watch him and Maryam drive away. And even more so when you and Eren settle in for bed that night and he reaches over to shut the light switch.

You reach for Eren’s hand, locking your fingers in with his in the sheets, before squeezing three times, a gesture that he returns.

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Do…do you still have that card that you gave me? A few weeks ago?”

Eren leans closer to you and you take the invitation to crawl into his open arms.

“Of course I do. Did you want to use it, sweetheart?” he whispers.

The warm tears return and Eren’s quick to wipe them away.

“Yeah, I think so.”

At the end of the month, Connie’s beloved girlfriend helps devise the best plan known to man. Which involved a little bit of acting, lying, and theatrics – something you and Eren were no strangers to.

It was fairly obvious, after everything that had happened, it would be hard to make people believe that you and Eren hadn’t ended up together. And she figured it would only work if you admitted to the fact that you were dating other people and really sold it in your last press tour and awards campaign that you were soulmates – but in the platonic type of way.

It’s why you spent three weeks in the press talking about your new beloved boyfriend, Bruce, who was just a normal guy that you met at your recording studio. Coupled with the newest song you released – so american, something Eren most definitely wouldn’t call you – people were quick to switch the breaks and think otherwise.

Eren was doing the same, fawning in any and every interview, about his sweet new girlfriend Margaret, one of the assistant costume designers that he met on the set of Attack on Titan. About how she was the sweet love of his life, who had shown up right when he needed her.

It wasn’t an entire lie.

Besides the fact that it really is so fun to pretend in plain sight, the awards show was the first time that the group of you got to be together again. You were seated right next to Lana and Sukuna – the former of which is exuding the sweetest glow from her baby girl that’s due any week now and the latter who has a set of choice words for you when you take your seats together.

“I don’t get it. Why don’t you just fucking tell people?” Sukuna mutters.

You smile.

“Simple. We don’t want to.” you respond.

“Yeah, but your boy toy is about to win the award of his dreams, again, and you’re about to be ten feet away getting cock blocked by lesbians.”

You smile. Eren, in all of his brilliance, was nominated for the Best Actor in a TV Show, yet again. And truly, it was no competition – you were all positive that he was going to win, something that he wasn’t so keen about himself.

“We can hear you.” Ymir mutters.

“We can switch seats if you want Y/N, for that part. If you want to sit next to Eren.” Sofia adds.

You give her a smile, before sinking back into your chair and looping your arm through Ymir’s – who was going to be accompanying you as the opener on the Birds of a Feather tour, with her lovely Sofia, who she married last weekend.

“Where are Jean and Mikasa? I have an itch to get blackout drunk right now.” Ymir mutters.

“No point in trying.. They’re already back there and borderline blackout drunk with empty flasks already..” you respond.

“Figures.”

“They pressed some really wet kisses to my cheek earlier. If I didn’t love them, I would find it absolutely disgusting.” you add.

You give Ymir and Sukuna a light nudge at your sides, before standing up to the group of people walking up to you.

“Oikawa, right? From Haikyuu?” you ask.

He towers over you, looking down at you as he offers you a smile.

“That’s right. We’ve replied to each other a lot on Twitter.” he responds.

“Right. It’s nice to meet you in person, again. I feel like we’ve probably walked past each other a bunch of times, but…it’s nice to talk.”

He smiles.

“Listen, I was planning on telling you this last weekend, but I’m planning on bringing my girlfriend to your opening show next weekend. She’s a really big fan…and she’d love to meet you.”

You place a hand on his bicep, and really, only because you can’t reach his shoulder.

“Of course. I’ll get you a seat in the VIP tent with everyone else coming, okay?”

“What was last weekend?” Sukuna asks.

Oikawa turns to his left, giving an entirely unassuming smile.

“Hm?”

“You said you were going to ask her last weekend.” Sukuna clarifies.

“Oh! Right, I just figured you’d be at Historia’s wedding that’s all. But she told me, it really is a shame that you were all too busy.”

You’re dumbfounded as he gives you all one last smile, before walking away. And Eren and Connie are quick to join you at your sides, Eren’s hand ghosting across yours at his side.

“What did that tool want?” Eren asks.

“Did Historia tell you that?” Sukua asks, to which you shake your head.

“Was he hitting on you? I’ve seen him on Twitter, don’t even get me started.” Eren mutters.

Sukuna rolls his eyes.

“Dude, this is so not the time to be getting your panties in a twist.” Sukuna responds.

“What did he say?” Connie asks, nudging you in the side.

“Historia got married. Last weekend.” Ymir states, an almost gravelly tone to her voice.

Connie and Eren give you a weary look, before turning back to her.

“She didn’t invite any of you and told all the guests that you guys were all too busy to come. Too busy to come because you were at my wedding, with the date I've had set for months now.”

Sofia stands at Ymir’s side, looping her arm in with Ymir’s as she offers a small smile. And it gets worse – because the horribly timed news made you all forget that Historia was the opener for the show that you wer eall sitting at.

You can’t help but admit it, but the willowing white dress that she wears is beautiful. But there’s a part of it that haunts you, almost like she’s a ghost instead of a bride, as she takes the center of the stage with a pink guitar and a glimmering ring on her finger.

“My name’s Historia Reiss. This is my newest song, everyone – it’s called Lover.”

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) You're my, my, my, my Oh, you're my, my, my, my Darling, you're my, my, my, my Lover

You watch as Ymir sinks into her seat, securing her own hand in Sofia’s, as you look over at Eren. And in the few seconds that you have between the commercial break, before you have to head backstage to announce the award, you lean forward and place your chin on her shoulder.

“Are you okay, Ymir?” you ask, shooting Sofia a pinched smile over the way.

“She’s fucking insane.” Ymir mutters.

You’re taken off guard by the hostility. Only because in every rehearsal that you’ve shared with Ymir, she’s all but remorseful for how things ended with them – and even moreso, was looking forward to being friends again.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“She’s trying to piss me off. I’ve heard that fucking song – it’s one she wrote about me when we were still filming season three.”

You wince, sharing a look with Eren, before turning back to her and squeezing one of her shoulders.

“I don’t know what her problem is. If she’s trying to make me feel…regret over what I did last weekend, that’s far from it. I have no regrets about the people or the person I’ve chosen for myself. She can sing herself sick about it if she wants to.” Ymir finishes.

“Good for you.” Connie states.

“Huh?” Ymir asks.

“Good for you. Really. You know what you want and you’ve had it by your side this entire time. If she wants to be bitter about it, she can go right ahead. That won't stop you from having that by your side or make her feel any better – and I’m sure she’ll realize that eventually.” Connie finishes.

You give Connie a smile, before gesturing to take your open seat as the ushers arrive to take you backstage. And you’re met with the sight of Hange and Levi – with a glimmering golden trophy and an envelope in their hands.

“He won, didn’t he?” you ask.

“We don’t know.”

“Do you think they’d like kill me if I opened it?” you ask, as Levi places the glittering envelope in your hands.

Hange smiles.

“In all seriousness kid, I think they’re kind of anticipating you will. WIth you as the announcer and us handing over the trophy, it’s fairly obvious they’re expecting something great.” Hange responds.

You give the two of them a smile as you turn over the envelope, breaking through the latch of the sticker, and pulling the little cardstock slip out. And surely enough, it’s in bright, bold letters.

Best Lead Actor in a TV Show - Eren Jaeger, Attack on Titan: The Final Season

You look up at them and smile, trying to contain that scratchy feeling in the back of your throat.

“He did it.” you whisper.

They both give you bright smiles as they link in their arms with yours, the three of you waiting for your cue at the side of the curtains. And on their mark, the three of you walk out into the bright lights, as you scan the crowd for where Eren’s sitting – noting the bright smile on his face and the wink he offers you.

“I think the fact that I’m standing here, with Hange and Levi at my sides, is proof that one of the best actors of our generation has won one of the most special awards here tonight.”

And you watch as Jean and Connie’s eyes go wide, as they reach forward and secure their hands on Eren’s shoulders, jostling him as he brings his hands up to his cheeks – in utter disbelief.

“While he’s winning an award for acting tonight, I truly do think that the recipient is a jack of all trades. Because he’s been so involved in this beautiful show – from picking the co-star in his first chemistry screen reading, to bringing life to the pages, and at the end, actually writing them. It’s been a joy to watch him in his element for the last ten years and really, to share such a big part of my life with someone who is so special.”

You look down at the envelope, pulling out the slip again.

“The award for Best Actor in a TV show goes to Eren Jaeger, Attack on Titan: The Final Season.”

It’s an obscene amount of hollering – mostly from Reiner, Connie, and Jean – as you watch Eren hug Gabi and Falco before pressing a kiss to Lana’s cheek and making his way to the stage. And it’s almost too sweet – getting to watch the lingering hugs that Hange and Levi give Eren, before he turns to you to give a polite hug.

You take the few seconds you have to say your piece.

“Hey. Guess what?” you whisper.

“What?”

“I told you so. All those years ago.” you respond.

Eren presses a kiss to your cheek, before the three of you all shuffle off to the side, and watch Eren from a few feet away. And you watch as he runs his hand nervously through his hair, before looking down at the award.

“I promise I’ll make a speech this time.” Eren starts.

You all laugh, as he looks over at you, before turning back to the crowd.

“I…I truly have no words for what this show has meant to me and what it has brought me. Almost ten years ago, two writers turned screenwriters, for whatever god awful reason, saw a film in which I had all but ten minutes of screentime before I got killed off. And for some reason, it spoke to them – so much so that they decided to make me the lead of their show. It seems strange at first, but they’re the first people I find myself being the most thankful for, because they’re the only reason that anything after came. I’ve made…”

Eren’s voice cracks and you swallow hard.

“I’ve made lifelong relationships and…and a real family. I’ve had the privilege of meeting my partner in crime, Connie, the sweetest friends I’ve ever had, Jean and Mikasa, and maybe one of the only people who understands me best, Armin. I’ve met maybe one of the most important people in my life, Y/N L/N, who gives definition to being the best friend and partner everyday, and most of all, I’ve met the love of my life, my sweet Margaret. There are no words for how thankful I am, really. Thank you so much.”

There’s a resounding sound of cheers as Eren links his arm in with yours and the four of you clump together backstage. And in the few seconds of quiet you have, you reach forward and cup the side of his face before pressing another kiss to his cheek.

“I’m so happy for you, Eren. You dream came true – the right way this time.”

Eren smiles, before linking one of his hands in with yours.

“You next.” Eren states.

You scoff.

“Leave it to you to make your award about me. Just be happy.” you respond.

“I am happy. But really, you’re next.” Eren states.

“You can’t become triple threats twice, Eren.”

“You know, I’ve happened to write very convincing letters in the past. To have them accept demos from me on behalf of you, to consider you for awards for years on end. I think I’ll try my luck on that one and see where it gets me, sweetheart.”

The following week, Eren’s standing by your side backstage with Sofia on the other side, in the mere minutes before you perform. If your timing was correct, Ymir was halfway into her set and seriously killing it, meaning that you were going to follow in under an hour.

Gabi and Falco are the first ones to greet you backstage – and the first guests on the Birds of a Feather tour.

When you think back to the past, all the memories of touring are the worst. Because the only thing you can remember is your legs shaking from the exhaustion, your ears deaf from the screaming, and your chest hurting from the pain – before you were dragged onto stage another time by Danny and Sareen and forced to do it again.

It’s why you kept the tour relatively short by your standards, with thirty-six shows, and your friends by your side.

If they wrote the songs with you, they could perform them with you too. And while Glue Song was technically Gabi’s request, Falco’s the feature – so it was only fair to let both of them sing it with you on the first day.

And you watch from far as Eren stands behind both of their little vanities, hearing the ends of their conversation – as Eren reassures both of them before taking pictures of the two of them together. And it’s almost like he can see you watching him, because he turns to look over his shoulder, before offering you a smile and walking over.

“Not that people know, but you and I are kind of the first ladies of the Birds of a Feather tour.” Sofia states.

“What do you mean?” Eren asks.

“My wife is the opener. Your girlfriend is the main set. We’re the first ladies.” Sofia states.

Eren snorts as he reaches for the back of your hair, readjusting it against your bodysuit, before giving you a smile.

“Ready?”

“I think so.”

Sofia gives the two of you a sweet smile, as she loops her arm in with yours and leans her head against your shoulder. And three songs in, you feel her tense you at your side.

“Oh god. Here it comes.” Sofia murmurs.

“Here what comes?” you ask.

She turns her head to the side, confused.

“She didn’t tell you? She added a new song to the setlist, it’s…about Historia.” Sofia responds.

“Does she know that Historia’s actually here in the tent? With her husband?”

Marcus, Historia’s newly wedded husband, was nice. It’s really the only word that you could use to describe him, because honestly, it didn’t seem like there was much else going on besides that. He mentioned a plethora of niceties when you met him hours prior – that he had missed you at the wedding, that he had memorized all the songs before the show started so he could fully enjoy it – and that was it.

You could tell that he didn’t have the faintest idea about Historia and Ymir, or Historia at all.

But he was kind. And he wouldn’t hurt Historia and you supposed that was all that mattered.

“That’s kind of the point, Y/N.” Sofia mumbles.

The three of you inch closer to the edge of the stage, just out of view of the curtains, as you watch Ymir’s visuals change – bright graphic letters spelling out Good Luck, Babe!

It's fine, it's cool You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth And guess I'm the fool With her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof

I don't wanna call it off But you don't wanna call it love You only wanna be the one that I call "baby"

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling You can say it's just the way you are Make a new excuse, another stupid reason Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck) You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck) You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

You look over at Eren, who is crushing your hand to oblivion at your left, before turning back to Sofia.

“Jesus Christ.” Eren whispers.

“I can’t even blame her. Historia came for blood last weekend.”

“That’s not even half of it. It gets worse.”

You and Eren widen your eyes, before leaning forward and paying attention again. And it’s insane, because Ymir’s crouching on the ground – before she fully lies down and starts belting into the microphone.

When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife And when you think about me, all of those years ago You're standing face to face with "I told you so" You know I hate to say, "I told you so" You know I hate to say, but, I told you so

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling (well, I told you so) You can say it's just the way you are Make a new excuse, another stupid reason Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck) You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck) You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

a year and a half later

After almost two years of being married, Jean and Mikasa welcome a baby girl, named Olivia, in October. And on her fourth week of life, they invite all of you over to meet her in Seattle.

You’d be lying if it didn’t fill you with dread.

“Why are you freaking out?” Eren asks, reaching down to adjust the charms of your necklace, the Saturn charm now accompanied by an ocean wave, against your collarbone, before looking back up at you.

“Babies don’t really like me.” you state.

“You know, they can kind of sense when you’re all…tense and stuff. Just relax when they ask you to hold her.”

You groan.

“Jean and Mikasa can keep their empath baby to themselves. What do you mean it can sense if I’m stressed?”

“You’ll drop her if you’re being too stiff. Just cradle her head against you.” Eren responds.

“That’s exactly why I can’t hold her!”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“She’s basically like your niece. You’ll have to hold her eventually.” Eren deadpans.

“Maybe when she’s older. Fully conscious and talking and stuff, you know. Like Teddy.”

Eren sighs, almost acutely aware of how hopeless you were when it came to this, from the way you acted with Lily. Except Sukuna was far less faith in you than Jean and Mikasa and agreed with you every time you refused to hold her out of fear.

Eren locks his hand in with yours as he drags you to the porch, only to be met with Zeke and Carla answering the door.

“You’re finally here!”

Eren’s mom pulls you forward, nearly side sweeping Eren and trapping you in a crushing hug as you give Zeke a pained look at your side, to which the two of them only laugh in response. And when Carla lets go, she brings her hands down to your wrists, before squeezing.

“You’re a vision in yellow! This dress is beautiful, Y/N.”

“Mom. You’re laying it on a little thick there.” Eren mumbles, placing his hands on her shoulders before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Shut up, Eren. This is the closest I’ve gotten to having a daughter.” Carla states.

You look over at Eren – entirely aware of how much his parents, or more specifically Carla had been, about how he needed to propose soon. But Eren rolls his eyes as he walks off, greeting Lana and Teddy in the kitchen as you turn back to her and wrap one of your free arms around her.

“Did you see Olivia yet?” you ask.

“She’s beautiful. Oh, she looks just like Jean.”

“Well, that’s a shame.” you respond.

“I heard that, twerp.”

You look over to find the source of the voice – a very tired Jean, with a stubble and a well grown out mullet – glaring at you. But the second you look at him properly, he gives you a smile as you run forward, wrapping your arms around him as he returns the gesture.

“Hi, Mr. Dad.”

“That’s the best you could come up with? Mr. Dad?”

“Saying just Dad is weird. But I had to acknowledge the fact that you…have a whole child just out here and breathing and stuff.”

“Wow. You really have such a way with words.” Jean states, as the two of you trail down to the kitchen, where Eren and Jean do their weird handshake.

You feel a tugging at your legs, before you pick up Teddy who leans his head against yours.

“You get bigger everytime I see you, kid.

“I’m a growing boy.” Teddy shrugs, as you turn to Lana and laugh.

“He’s getting every bit of sass from Sukuna.” Lana states.

“I can tell.” you respond, before turning back to him.

Sukuna presses a kiss to your cheek as a greeting, before Connie and Reiner join the group as well and do the same.

“How are you today, Teddy? Did you see baby Olivia yet?” you ask.

“Yeah.”

You smile as you turn over to Eren, who leans against the counter and watches the two of you from a few feet away. He fights the urge to take a picture – only because Sukuna would tease him into oblivion – and makes a mental note to ask for one like it later, of Teddy snuggled in your arms and resting his head against your cheek.

“Did you like her?” you ask.

“She’s cute. For a baby.”

“You wanna tell Y/N what you told me, Theo?” Sukuna asks.

Teddy sits up, turning to Sukuan with confusion.

“Tell her what, Dad?”

“About what you did when you saw Olivia.” Sukuna clarifies.

He turns back to you, a smile on his face.

“I held baby Olivia all on my own.”

You turn back to Sukuna and Eren, the two of them laughing with irritating smiles on their faces as you stick their tongues out at them.

“Oh, be quiet.” you murmur.

“If my literal child can carry that baby, so can you.” Sukuna states.

Sukuna rolls his eyes, before taking Teddy from your arms.

“I’m gonna grab a drink.” Sukuna states.

“I’ll come with.” you respond.

The two of you walk quietly out to the little backyard, as you fill three glasses of lemonade and hold one out to each of them.

“So do you just not want kids in the future?”

“What? Of course, I do.” you respond.

Sukuna snickers.

“Are you not going to hold your own child?”

You roll your eyes.

“Pump the brakes, Sukuna. Eren and I aren’t even married yet.”

“Speaking of. Are you two ever going to tie the knot?”

You shrug.

“We’ve talked about it before. It’s definitely in the cards but I told him that he should wait until he feels ready. And things are really nice now, the way they are. I figure he’s just soaking in it all.” you state.

“Would you say yes if he proposed?” Sukuna asks.

“Are you crazy?”

“I mean…you’re saying that you told Eren to wait until he was ready. There’s no doubt you will of course, but are you ready for that?”

You nurse the little glass of lemonade close to your chest, before looking up at him and smiling.

“I’ve been waiting to marry him since I was like sixteen. Of course I’m ready.”

Sukuna gives you a smile, before gesturing for you to follow him back inside where Eren’s waiting for you patiently. And you can tell by the excited smile on his face and the way that he grabs your waist exactly where he’s leading you next.

“You should be excited. This is literally both of our best friends, in one person.”

“I am excited. I just want her to like us, that’s all.”

When you enter the room, it’s quiet – with Levi, Jean, and Mikasa’s mom by the crib and Mikasa sitting in the bed, rearranging the little toys.

You and Eren beeline in different directions, with him heading straight for the baby and you heading straight towards Mikasa’s side. And you can’t help but do it – reach forward and cup her cheeks before hugging her full on.

“Mikasa, you look so cute.” you mumble, as she nearly crushes you with her death grasp of a hug.

Mikasa pulls back, rolling her eyes, as she eyes your dress.

“Are you saying I look different after Olivia?”

You roll your eyes.

“You’re all full in the face. With rosy pink cheeks. It’s adorable.” you whisper.

“Well, you’re quite adorable too. This is a beautiful dress – I’m going to side sweep Eren and propose first if he doesn’t get around to it.”

“I heard that, Mikasa.” Eren deadpans, from his far corner of the room.

“That was the point, goofy.”

Eren frowns as he walks over to her side, offering her a hug before sitting down with the two of you.

“Goofy is the best you’ve got?” Eren asks.

“There’s a baby in the room. I can’t exactly call you an asshole now, can I?” Mikasa whispers.

You both giggle, only to be stopped by the glare that Levi gives the three of you, as you clear your throats.

“She’s perfect, Mikasa. She’s got your eyes.” Eren states.

“Oh thank god. Carla gave me a heart attack downstairs when she told me the baby looked like Jean.”

It’s only then that Jean walks over, with the tiniest bundle of little pink blankets in his hand, that the three of you stand up. And you take the natural position, standing slight behind Eren as he looks up at Jean, eyes wide.

“Can I hold her?”

“Dude, go ahead.”

You and Mikasa share a look, irritated by their nonchalance, as you watch Jean carefully transfer Olivia over to Eren’s arms. She’s quick with it – securing all five of her tiny fingers around one of Eren’s fingers as he laughs, looking over at you.

And Eren’s quick to notice that despite all your self-proclaimed fears about holding babies and giving birth, you have the same curious look in your eyes that you had when you met Lily.

“Olivia, my name’s Eren and this is Y/N. Your parents are basically the coolest people we know.” Eren whispers, almost like he’s not trying to disturb the quiet peace in the room.

“Well, not your dad. He could use a little help in that department.” you respond.

“Stop badmouthing me in front of my child.” Jean responds, reaching forward to flick you on the forehead.

But it’s right at that second that Olivia lets out the quietest little coo, before readjusting in her little blankets. And it’s enough to make the group of you laugh, teary eyed smiles from you and Eren, as Jean walks over to Levi and hands him the camera to take a picture of the five of you, together for the first time.

And in the thirty minutes that Eren spends holding Olivia and whispering with Mikasa, it’s the free second that you take to talk to Levi.

“Look at you. Trying to butter up Mikasa’s mom.”

Levi glares.

“She’s my sister.”

“Right. I kind of forgot about that.”

Levi rolls his eyes, as the two of you look out of the window, at the group of them all chattering downstairs. You can’t help but smile at Teddy and Lily sitting at the table, who are showing a very interested Ymir and Connie all of the drawings that they’ve allegedly done together.

It was mostly Teddy of course, but he just liked to include Lily in everything he does. Which is something you’re told that Sukuna and Yuuji do together all the time – and it makes your heart warm all the same.

“Is there a reason you never had kids, Levi?” you ask.

Levi smiles.

“Hange can’t have kids.” Levi states.

You feel your throat dry the slightest, as you look over to the left, where Hange and Sofia are playing a very intense game of chess.

“I didn’t know that. I always figured that you two weren’t…”

“A lot of people did. And I suppose that made it easier, because it really did break our hearts that we didn’t get to have any.”

You smile, before leaning your head against his shoulder.

“If it makes you feel better, I know that myself and fifteen of my peers have always seen you as a father figure.”

Levi smiles.

“It does actually. Only because my self-proclaimed children are all so talented that I have so much to brag about.”

You press a kiss to Levi’s cheek as Eren beckons for you to join him downstairs, now that Olivia’s fallen asleep. And you all but oblige, trying to memorize the sickeningly sweet kiss that he gives you on the way down.

“Do you ever think we’re going to have kids?” Eren asks.

“Eren. You’re basically like born to be a dad.” you whisper.

“What?”

“Every kid we’ve ever met loves you. Of course, we’re going to have kids. I’ve even taken the liberty of naming them already.”

Eren gives you a confused look, before knocking on your forehead.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“Hilarious.” you deadpan.

“No seriously. I’m shocked Mrs. Scared of Pregnancy because of Reddit threads from when you were thirteen is saying this to me right now.”

You roll your eyes, trying to make your way down the stairs, before he pulls back, pressing a kiss to your cheek as a consolation.

“Okay, I’m joking. But tell me the names.”

“No. You’re being rude.”

“Come on. They’re going to be my children too. I want to hear it.”

You sigh, crossing your hands over your chest, as you look up at him.

“If it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Marco.”

Eren smiles, giving you an approving nod, as you twist the rings on your pointer finger.

“And if it’s a girl, we’ll name her Maya.”

“Maya?”

“Well, the plan is hopefully that we have a boy and a girl. We’ll name our kids after Marco…and his favorite poet, Maya Angelou.”

Eren leans forward, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.

“That’s a deal.”

Two days later, you and Eren seem to right a historical wrong, in your long winded history, in the mere hours before you attend Lana’s album listening party.

By visiting the Seattle Aquarium, the way you were supposed to all those years ago.

It was your idea when you made your weekend plan to be in Seattle. Because Eren had three extra days before he started shooting and before you headed back to New York to record with Niccolo – and it only felt right.

Despite your horrible track history of attendance, the owners of the Seattle Aquarium granted you entry on Sunday, the day they were closed, and offered you the place for the entire day. Though you suppose, it’s only because you’ve given them such gracious donations over the past years.

When you walk in, you run your fingers over the bronze plaque as Eren looks over your shoulder, admiring the lettering.

With special thanks to Bruce and Margaret, whose generous donations have benefitted our environmentalist efforts and preserved over forty-five species of fish over the past year, nearby in the Pacific Ocean.

Eren takes your hand, the two of you taking the little blankets and pillows, and setting them up right in the center of the aquarium, before you lie down against the little makeshift fort you made.

And you’re not sure what it is – the dim lights and the overwhelming blue – or the fish swimming all around you and Eren in their not so little fishbowl, but you can’t help but feel the strangest sense of nostalgia. That a few years ago, you saw Jean and Mikasa get engaged for the first time, and it pushed you so hard that you were ready to confess to him under these same lights.

“Do you ever think about what would happen if we actually ended up coming here last time?” you ask.

Eren looks over at you, pressing a stray kiss to your forehead, before messing with one of the strands of your hair.

“Sometimes. I figured we’d have to fight out of there someway, just in a different way.”

“What do you mean?”

Eren pauses.

“They’d run a slander campaign against you. They’d probably dox Falco and Colt and your parents would get in the crossfire by proxy.” Eren murmurs.

“Yeah.”

“I figured they’d probably give Connie all the big roles so he wouldn’t have any reason to leave. Everyone would know about Lana and Teddy and well…I don’t know if Sukuna would be on our side the way he necessarily ended up being.”

You lean closer to him, interlocking one of your free hands in with his.

“I don’t know if we’d stay together.”

“We’d stay together.” you murmur.

“Yeah. I do figure it would be harder though. We kind of lucked out, twice, with how isolated the set was and then the cabin.”

And Eren reaches into his pocket, wrapping one of his free hands around you as he opens up a little green box, to a glimmering diamond ring.

“I figure this would happen farther down the line if things went that route.” Eren mumbles.

You’re taken aback as you sit up in the little pile of blankets as Eren follows suit, a sweet smile on his face as he presses the little box into your hand.

“I don’t necessarily know how things would have ended up if we got to be together all those years prior. All I remember, really, is watching you drive away from me and feeling like I had just experienced the loss of my life. For a second time. It only feels right to me that we get to promise to seal the deal here, for good, like we should have all of those years ago.”

Eren takes the box from your hands, plucking the ring out of its little slot, and takes your hand in his.

“Will you marry me?”

You can’t help but lean forward, nearly knocking him back down into the pillows as you press a kiss to his lips, which he smiles into.

“I’m taking that’s a yes?”

“Oh my god, Eren. Yes, obviously.”

Eren sits up again, this time carefully securing the ring around your finger, before lifting your hand and pressing a kiss against your knuckles.

“Did you tell anyone you were doing this?”

Eren shrugs.

“I asked for your parents and Falco and Colt’s blessing. Then I remembered that Levi exists and asked him for good measure too. And Lana, of course, just because I can’t keep anything from her.”

You smile.

“Was there someone else I was supposed to tell?”

You pinch your lips into a line.

“No.”

“Oh my god, there totally was. Who did I forget?”

You fight the urge to laugh as he reaches forward, tickling at your sides as you shove him off.

“No one, Eren. I love the ring.”

Eren twists his face in confusion, before leaning forward.

“Who said anything about the ring?”

You pinch your eyes shut, before reaching forward and placing your hands on his cheeks.

“I love the ring. And I love you, it’s really not –”

“You told someone what type of ring you wanted, didn’t you?”

You sigh, as you look down at the sparkling diamond on your finger, that really is perfect.

“It was a tiny request that I had. I should have known that you’d tell Lana and not Mikasa, in hindsight.”

Eren shakes his head.

“That’s not a big deal. I’ll just get you another one.”

“Eren.”

“Really, I was planning on getting you multiple anyway. You have to have one that has a silver band and one that has gold, because I know that you hate mixed metals. So really, you can tell me what it is that you wanted and I’ll keep it in mind.”

You sigh.

“It’s kind of cheesy.”

“I’m not lactose intolerant, Y/N. Just tell me.”

You sigh.

“I like the diamond, but I wanted it set with another stone.”

“I do like unique rings. Which one were you thinking?”

“An emerald. Because it’s green, you know?”

And you watch as Eren grins, fully understanding your request this time, as he leans forward, his lips a few feet away from yours as he whispers.

“Are you telling me you want a green emerald because my eyes are green?”

“Sue me, Eren!” you deadpan.

And it’s a lingering kiss that Eren presses to your cheeks, before he leans back and looks up at the fish. You follow his gaze to the two yellow fish swimming near the top, as they make their way down to the other side.

And Eren looks over at you and smiles.

“No, I don’t think so. I think I’ll just marry you instead.”

You’re slightly late to Lana’s listening party and the two of you sneak in towards the back door, where you greet everyone waiting for you backstage. And it’s quite obvious that Lana and Sukuna shared the news with everyone the second you arrive – because Mikasa reaches for your hand the second you walk up to her and Lana gives you a lingering hug.

“Oh thank god, I was starting to get worried.” Mikasa states.

“All the comments got to you the other day, didn’t they?” Sukuna asks.

Eren rolls his eyes.

“On the contrary, asshole. Though the comments did start to piss me off, because I was doing so well at hiding it before you all started bringing it up and making her think about it.”

There’s a little dinging overhead, signaling that Lana had to start, as the group of you all head out to the little audience – filled with about fifty of Lana’s fans who nearly start screaming the second you all walk out to listen with them.

“Hey.” Eren whispers.

“What?”

“I’ll be back, but you should keep your hair in the front.”

“What? Why?”

“I left a mark earlier.” Eren responds, squeezing at your shoulder as you glare at his retreating form.

He shoots you a wink over his shoulder, before he walks backstage and Lana walks on. And it’s sweet, the flowery dress she’s wearing and the purple guitar as she takes the stage. You feel a tap on your shoulder, to find Sukuna at your side, smiling at you.

“Congratulations, stinky. There’s not many times that I find myself believing in things like this, at least not before anyways, but you’ve proven me wrong, time and time again.”

You loop your arm in with Sukuna resting your chin against his shoulder, as you watch Lana start to tune the guitar.

“I could say the same thing about you.” you respond.

The two of you quiet down as Lana starts and Eren walks behind her, taking a seat at the piano. He shoots you a smile from his spot, starting to play the piano composition as Lana starts talking.

“I’ve written lots of songs about people in my very long career of music, now. And I’ve had many songs written about me by my friend Eren here. I figured it was only fair that I returned the favor by writing about him and his beautiful fiancee, with his help of course.”

Eren smiles as he leans closer to the microphone.

“This song is called Margaret.”

This is a simple song, gonna write it for a friend My shirt is inside out, I'm messy with the pen He met Margaret on our rooftop, she was wearing white And he was like, "I might be in trouble" He had flashes of the good life He was like, "Should I jump off this building now or do it on the double?

'Cause, baby, if your love is in trouble Baby, if your love is in trouble Baby, if your love is in trouble When you know, you know When you know, you know

It kinda makes me laugh, runnin' down that path When you're good as gold 'Cause when you know, you know 'Cause when you know, you know And when you're old, you're old

Like Hollywood and me, that diamond on your ring The soul that you bring to the table One that makes me sing In a minor key Diamond on your ring 'Cause when you know, you know When you know, you know

The two of you tie the knot a year later, on a chilly December night, back in the old townhouse. It’s decorated to perfection – the walls that you originally took down are now covered again with polaroids of you and Eren, but all of your loved ones too.

True to Mikasa’s statement all of those years ago, the flower girls at your wedding are Olivia and Lily – but they can’t exactly walk yet, so it’s only fair that Reiner and Connie carry them and their little flower baskets down the aisle.

As busy as Mikasa and Jean are with the baby, they give up their spots as best man and maid of honor to the more seasoned parents, Lana and Sukuna. Though it feels entirely wrong to have Lana standing on your side and Sukuna on Eren’s, so you decide to switch the roles. Teddy’s quite possibly the best ring bearer and Levi’s the perfect person, who gives a sweet passionate speech about holding out for love, as the officiant of your wedding.

Levi, however, is full of all sorts of tricks – which is something the two of you only note when it’s time for you to do your first dance. Because instead of the piano quartet that you organized, he’s sitting on the bench next to Hange instead, tapping on the microphone to get your attention.

“I believe it’s time for the first dance.” Levi states.

Hange rolls her eyes, before taking the microphone.

“You’re so stiff, Levi.”

“You talk then.”

“No, you always tend to have a way with words.”

You look up at Eren, admiring the two little pins on the lapel of his jacket – a crescent moon and the Saturn pin – before looking back at the two of them and their antics.

“Eren and Y/N. You’ve written quite a few love songs, not only about the beautiful love that you share with each other, but the love that we all seem to have for one another as well. And really, we figured it was only fair that we all repaid the favor, by writing a song about the two of you for you to dance to.”

“And well, we know how much being surrounded by the love in the room means to you. So we’re going to invite everyone to join you on the dance floor, so you can be surrounded by it.” Hange states.

The group of them all give you sweet smiles, as you all walk out onto the little makeshift floor, as Hange and Levi start playing the piano, Levi’s quiet voice filling the backyard.

When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love

You pause from looking at Eren, as you pull him closer – resting your ear against the beating sound of his heart – and catch it all again, the love in the room so warm it’s almost suffocating. Because it’s Falco still stepping on Gabi’s feet after all these years, Ymir spinning Sofia way too many times, and Jean and Mikasa dancing with Lily in their arms.

“Can you believe they wrote a song about us?” you whisper.

“I’ll fucking say. It was about time. Do you know how many weddings we’ve carried on our backs by writing songs?”

“Don’t exaggerate, Eren. It was only like three.”

“Three too many. I was expecting the damn fanfare when I walked in.”

You both laugh, before leaning forward, and looking over at Hange and Levi – soft smiles that they give each other, as they play the piano together.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I will never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue I'd go crawling down the avenue No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love

Eren makes his SNL debut three months after the fact and you figure that there's no better time to announce the fact that you and Eren are together. A silly little skit – where your fake characters are both named Margaret and Bruce – is the perfect end to what the two of you started at the beginning of the week, when you released your songs False God and Only Angel on the same day.

But unbeknownst to Eren, you change the original plan you had – to play False God at the end of the show – and choose to play a different song at the end. Eren turns to you, giving you a last wink as the show starts rolling, and he turns to the camera.

“Once again, Y/N L/N-Jaeger.”

There’s a resounding sound of cheers as Eren takes his side next to Connie and Maryam at the front, as you start strumming on the guitar.

Fatefully I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me Misery Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep

And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

And I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time Pushed from the precipice Clung to the nearest lips Long story short, it was the wrong guy Now I'm all about you I'm all about you, ah Yeah, yeah I'm all about you, ah Yeah, yeah

The first thing you catch sight of when you look out is Hange and Levi. And the first thing that comes to mind is that speech – watching Hange spilling tears into that microphone, watching it in your pajamas with Colt at your side and Falco fast asleep somewhere in the corner – and it makes your stomach jolt.

Actually I always felt I must look better in the rear view Missing me At the golden gates they once held the keys to When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us This time, I'm ready

Ricky comes to mind next, but it’s only because you can see Lana and Sukuna in the third row – their heads leaned against each other as they hold hands. Because it’s not exactly the justice she exactly deserved, but years after the fact, his horrible mouth had landed him on a blacklisted list of actors – and really, he was never to be seen again. Hyla and Scott were always around, but never warranted a second thought after what you had done to them – tearing their once empire to the ground with your own bare hands and a pencil.

No more keepin' score now I just keep you warm (keep you warm) No more tug of war now I just know there's more (know there's more) No more keepin' score now I just keep you warm (keep you warm) And my waves meet your shore Ever and evermore

Past me I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things Your nemeses Will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing And he's passing by Rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky And he feels like home If the shoe fits, walk in it everywhere you go

The raw spot of hurt that was reserved for Marco softened over the years and the over-consuming feeling it once used to give you was now open – for you to give to other parts of your life. To your friends, to your family, and to Eren.

Eren.

Now I'm all about you (and now) I'm all about you, ah (and now) I'm all about you (and now) I'm all about you, ah Yeah, yeah I'm all about you (and now) Yeah, yeah I'm all about you

You can’t help but smile at him, feeling your heart nearly pounding in your chest, as you look at him – smiling back at you from the front row, his hands pressed to his chest, with a silver band around his ring finger.

Long story short, it was a bad time Long story short, I survived

Hange had told you, indirectly all those years ago, to show people the real you. And as much acting as you and Eren had done - method and otherwise - you supposed there was nothing more real than the love that existed between the two of you.

Eren closes the distance and you swing your guitar to the side as he brings his hands around your cheeks and presses one last kiss to your lips before the camera cuts.

an: a very bittersweet goodbye to one of the most special fics i've ever written. i truly do not think that there are enough words that i can string together (which as ironic as someone who is a fic writer) to explain what this fic has meant to me, what your interactions have meant to me, and everything else in between.

this fic has truly been a piece of my heart - not only because i've poured so many of my real emotions into each of the characters, but also because it's brought me so much joy to share with people - and to have them nitpick and find all the little clues i've been leaving along the way.

whether you've been reading since july or just picked it up in the few days before it was finished, thank you so much for being here 💌

PS: method acting fun fact! this fic was actually a REQUEST that I wrote for someone, if you can believe it. further proof to kind of interact with writers and show ur love bc u can ask for a fic and then be stuck with this mumbo jumbo of almost 270k words at the end of it.

peace and love!!! ronnie out <3

(if you request any side pieces about this stories/ask any questions/etc!!! I am more than happy to always answer. i've thought of so much lore in my head)

taglist: @k0z3me @sugu-love @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

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penny-for-thots · 3 days

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[!] POSSESSIVE SUO. hcs. f!reader + yandere-ish and spicy-ish content?. he's ... yeah ; i promise its okay lmfao. i saw a togame one, so ofc i had to do my man. this is a lowk long hc list ...

hayato is the type to be extremely possessive of his friends, but he's so good at hiding it that no one can tell. if need be, he's ready to act like a snap of a finger, though more times than not, knowing his friends well enough, they have the situation under control.

hence, based on that, he's pretty (secretly) possessive over you pre-relationship. he's likely more so because you're a girl. not in a 'you're weaker,' way but more of 'i can't trust them around you' way.

hayato suo has a slick tongue.

he knows what to say, and when to say it. after all, the emotional intelligence he has is through the roof for someone of his age. at times it scares you how accurate his observations of you. often times, he notices things leagues before you do.

"you are aware that guy is flirting with you right?"

"unless you want the others to get a negative impression of you, i'd fix your expression."

"she's nervous, say something to help her relax."

specifically the first example, countlessly.

hayato suo is not a jealous person, after all, he's not dating you, how could he be jealous? though, there's something that pisses him off about those guys that approach you.

all of them were either sleazy or borderline misogynistic.

the first time you told him you were going on a date he almost burst a blood vessel.

it was at this point that suo realized he would have to do a bit more than the things he was doing to catch your attention: feigning injuries, "forgetting" his accessories around you, subtly purchasing things you enjoy, etc.

essentially, he was a boyfriend before he officially became one.

and even as you date, his shenanigans don't decrease. in fact, it increases. albeit, in a way you can't exactly point out.

instead of a dumb keychain or little figure he sometimes bought, he'd bring stuffed animals, necklaces, books, rings. the jewelry is always a matching set. he needs to let others know that the both of you are taken. you are a pretty girl, he has to stand his ground.

speaking of standing his ground, specifically in a fighting sense. he is always ready to through hands at someone for you.

someone is causing you anxiety? insults you? heaven forbid they assault you?

that time he had to be pulled away from mauling that dude? yeah ...

he'll through hands quickly if the disagreement can't be settled with words.

another way he proves being possessive, in a bot so subtle way, he'll leave small hickey's right where the line of your shirt sat. sure, they didn't show at the present moment, but you move the wrong way and anyone could see the way your lower neck and collarbone are littered in hickeys.

he's also a man to be alright with PDA. he's not too keen on too intimate activities, though small kisses and hand holding is his favorite thing to do.

(though he's not opposed to making out with you, biting and sucking on your bottom lip so when you go out it's kiss-swollen)

suo kisses the back of your hand and treats you like a princess while he's glaring at some poor unsuspecting man.

he's legitimately so happy to have you as a girlfriend. if they didn't know already, he's eager to introduce you, but if you wish to take it slow he will.

i mean he's also the type to ask you to cover his face in your lipstick via kisses.

having a possessive side to him, he loves seeing when yours decides to debut. he doesn't purposefully intend to make you jealous, but he couldn't exactly be rude.

he finds it cute when you have that huffy expression on your face, he'd annoy you as much as possible just to see a face like that.

adding on to material things he covers you in, he loves to see you in his clothes. the first time he saw you in one of his shirts, he almost lost it. instead of saying the ... things, he wanted to say, he decided to hug you from behind with a little tease about the situation, hoping you wouldn't feel something presses against your back.

i am severely sleep as it is 1:14 am, so in short, his possessiveness doesn't present in a way that you'd be able to point it out. others seem to point it out at times, but overall, he does normal boyfriend stuff but with ulterior methods of keeping you all to himself. he throughout enjoys your company and love, no one can take that away from him.

#⋆𐙚 ₊ jani writes.#wind breaker x reader #hayato suo x reader #suo x reader #suo hayato x reader #hayato suo #x female reader #female reader #fem reader

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torialefay · 2 days

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"(Birthday) Queen Reigns Supreme" 🎂👑

chan x felix x bday!fem!reader smut 🔞

✨ synopsis: no birthday plans means you get dragged along to your best friend's company dinner party... no plans after that means you're getting fucked by your crush(es?).

✨ warnings: kinda possessive chan, felix is a little more than a cuck, unprotected sex, etc.

✨ notes: this work was catered towards our sweet Reign [ @chrizzztopherbang ] for her birthdayyy 👑 some of the plot is specific at the beginning (i tried (very poorly) to make things more british-y), but it becomes less specific after the first few paragraphs 🌟

“You have literally zero plans. Please, just go out with us. It will be way more fun than staying cramped up inside all day on your birthday,” Minho stated matter-of-factly. “And between me and you, if I have to go out, you should have to go out too.”

You stared at your best friend, annoyed. “I shouldn’t have to do anything when it’s my birthday.” You crossed your arms.

As much as you would have loved spending your birthday with family, it was so hard with them being spread all over. Even with your twin sister, you’d have to settle with a video call to celebrate each other as she was too far away. Each of your friends, including Minho of all people, had made prior commitments, leaving you pretty much alone for your birthday.

Not that you particularly cared. You’d never been one to care about your birthday actually. To you, it was just another day. Nothing special. Ordering in some food and cuddling up on the couch hadn’t sounded bad at all.

You had thought that your best friend felt the same way about birthdays, and to be fair, you were pretty certain he was just using the day as an excuse to get you to come with him to his company’s dinner party. You knew there was no way he could get out of it, because if he could, he would have shut it down 2 minutes after being told about it.

You fidgeted with your hair, contemplating just how many people you were going to have to talk to if you said yes. You had a massive case of RBF, so were you going to have to worry about it all night? Would you have to wear a tight, fancy dress? You always preferred something more loose. How long was this gonna last? Your social battery ran out after so long. Would you even know anyone else there? What if it’s just Minho and things get awkward?

“Chan will be there,” Minho stated, as if reading your mind.

You froze. ‘Yeah, I guess a company party would include Chris… and the rest of the boys.’ It had honestly just skipped your mind. You loved Minho’s friends, so you were at ease knowing that you’d get to see some familiar faces. But Chris? Chris Bang… he makes things different.

“Well now I extra don’t want to go!” you exclaimed, feeling your heart rate rise.

“Why? I thought you’d be happy to know that the guy you’ve been crushing on for, hmmm, I don’t know, 4 years now?, would be at an event you were attending… So you could actually, you know, talk to him?” Minho countered sarcastically.

“Absolutely not. I would rather die.”

That settled it. You weren’t going.

“Why?! I have begged you for years to let me put in a good word for you, and you won’t let me. You’re in love with him. He needs to find someone who will actually be nice to him. I have to hear about both sides every damn day. Please, just do it so that my life will be easier,” he huffed.

He was always on one.

“You know I can’t talk to him. I get so awkward, and I can’t think straight. Embarrassing myself in front of him isn’t exactly my idea of a great birthday.”

Minho rolled his eyes, letting out a deep puff of air. “Fine. Well, if you won’t go for him, will you go for the free alcohol? That, plus the members all miss you. They ask about you a lot. Even Chan,” he emphasized, making his eyes go big. “But we’re not talking about him. So the others and the alcohol. Come onnn- I swear I’ll make it fun,” Minho pleaded.

You shook your head with a smile. “Fine, you win. But we’re still stopping to get my favourite cake on the way home.”

"You know you're not sly, yeah?" you laughed at Seungmin while clinging tightly to the glass of wine in your hand.

You and the boys had basically ditched the dinner party at this point, opting instead to sit out on the rooftop patio while continuously refilling your drinks. After a few shots had been downed, Binnie suggested his go-to game of truth or dare. And there was no use in telling drunk Bin “no.” He was gonna win every time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seungmin replied, cocky grin on his face, as he walked back toward the table.

“We saw you put your hand over his mouth! Do ov-er! Do ov-er! Do ov-er!” Changbin began to chant.

Felix, following quickly behind Seungmin plopped himself back down at his spot at the table. “Why am I being punished? It’s not even my turn!” he jokingly yelled.

“That’s what you get for having the most delicious looking lips out of everyone here!” Changbin drunkenly yelled, dramatic as ever. “Raise your hand if you too would have picked Felix if you were dared to kiss anyone here,” Bin addressed the group loudly.

One by one, smiles arose on faces as each member snaked a hand up, including Felix. Laughs broke out as they realized they were in unison… until noticing you were the only one without your hand up.

Changbin was the first to notice, pointing his finger at you to draw attention. “Y/n doesn’t have her hand up!” he showed in his loud voice.

You just dropped your mouth wide open, staring at Binnie with a look of disbelief. You tried your best to act mad at him for pointing it out, but failed miserably. The wine circulating through had put you in too much of a good mood.

“What?! You would pick someone else over me?!” Felix pried, bringing his hands to his chest as he faked being offended.

Minho must have sensed the slight panic you were feeling, taking it upon himself to speak. “Considering Got7 is here, she’s picking either Jinyoung or Jackson. You boys were never in the equation.”

‘Thank god for you, Lee Minho,’ you thought, grateful for his quick cover-up. Although it was basically the truth.

Considering the fact that Lee Know was the only one who wasn’t drinking tonight, you knew he’d never let you live this favor down.

“Well then if you had to pick someone hereee, right now,” Felix continued.

“I’m not sayinggg,” you giggled.

“Well fine,” Felix said, sticking his tongue out.

“It’s your turn now anyway,” Binnie started. “Y/n, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” you responded without giving yourself time to think.

“Okay. Then who out of the members would you rather kiss?” He asked, smirk stretching across his face as he laughed.

“Fucking hell,” you smiled while rolling your eyes. “Nevermind. Dare.”

“I DARE you to tell us who out of the members you would rather kiss.”

Cackles erupted from the rest of the members, scrunching up their eyes and bringing their hands up to cover their faces or to clap excitedly. This was too good for them.

You stuck your tongue in your cheek, shaking your head in disbelief. You chuckled lightly, knowing you should’ve expected nothing less from Changbin… or any of them really.

“You’re not gonna let this go, are you?” you giggled, looking directly at Bin.

“Hey, you’re the one who didn’t put their hand up for Felix! You did this to yourself!” Bin said, putting the focus back on you.

“Fineeee, fine,” you said, blushing while directing your attention down to your glass. You couldn’t bare to say it while looking at them. “If I HAVE to pick… I’m choosing Chan,” you mumbled.

“Oooo”’s and little kissy noises popped up out of the members’ mouths as you continued to look away. You wanted to disappear.

“What does he have that I don’t have?!” Felix said dramatically, clutching his chest. Wine-drunk Felix’s antics were good enough to rival even the best of actors.

You finally brought your head up to face the members, feeling more confident that you now had something to work with. “I just always thought he was the cleanest one out of you lot,” you joked, hoping to mull over the situation.

As you finally locked eyes with Chan, you saw a subtle smirk on his face. Did he know? Had he always known?

“That’s not true,” Felix said with a pout, crossing his arms to give up.

“You’re just hurt that not every one of us is in love with you! Don’t lie, little lover boy!” Bin threw back to Felix.

Felix didn’t bother to respond, still fake-pouting and looking away.

“You’re my next choice, Lixie,” you reassured him, reaching your hand out and making a patting motion, hoping it would pacify him… And it did.

“Okay, fine. I can accept that,” he said theatrically, holding his head high.

All you could do was shake your head and laugh as you all went on with the night.

“Hey, y/n, could I talk to you for a second?” Chan asked, walking up from behind you as you’d been making your way with Lee Know through the car park.

You shot Lee Know a quick look, mouth dropped slightly as your brows turned inquisitive. Minho nodded, trying his best to hold back a greedy smirk but failing miserably. You wanted to hit him over the head, but knew it was inappropriate considering the situation.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” you said, pulling back from Lee Know a bit.

“I’ll go ahead and warm up the car. Just come on whenever you’re ready to go,” he nodded at both of you before turning on his heels to head off. You knew that the second his face was out of sight that he had put on a shit-eating grin.

Suddenly feeling a bit nervous now that you were alone with Chan, you knew you’d need to try playing off any nerves you felt. The last thing you wanted on your birthday was to feel like a blubbering idiot in front of your crush.

“What’s going on?” you asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

“What you said earlier about me. Did you mean it?” he asked plainly, as if he had not a care in the world.

Chan smirked as it took you a moment to get your footing. You never dreamed he’d be this direct about it.

“I mean,” you looked off to the side a bit. “Yeah, I think you probably do have the best hygiene. It just made sense,” you shrugged.

Chan wasn’t fooled in the slightest, just bouncing his head up and down to follow along. “If that’s the story you want to go with, then okay,” he said lowly, coming in closer and bringing his mouth to your ear. “Or you can be honest with yourself and come home with me tonight instead.”

Your face turned bright red. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t dreamt of a scenario like this before, but dreams were just dreams. You could act cool in your dreams. But right now? You had no clue what to say.

“Chris, I-,” you struggled to find the right words. “I don’t want things to be weird between us just because of what I said. I don’t want you to think that this is what I was after. It’s not like-.” Chris cut you off.

“Y/n, I’ve had my eyes on you for well over 2 years now and never did a damn thing about it because I didn’t know how you felt. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but for fuck’s sake, just come home with me and let me treat you to a good birthday.”

You felt a light sensation on your palm as he reached for your hand, locking it into his own.

You looked up to find his eyes. “Fine... But Minho promised me cake first.”

With devious grins, you both ran to the car where Lee Know was waiting, sliding yourselves into the backseat.

“Mind if we throw in a different stop?” Chan said enthusiastically as he climbed in. “My place?” He smiled, looking at you as he projected his voice toward the front.

“It’s about fucking time,” Minho huffed, chuckling to himself. “Cake first, and then I’ll take you two wherever you want to go.”

“I really am the best fucking friend ever,” he mumbled inaudibly, shaking his head as he threw the car in gear.

Chris wasted no time once you’d entered his house, slamming the door behind him and automatically pinning you to the wall.

“What does the birthday princess want, huh?” he growled, going in directly to cage your body in and connect his lips to yours. He left no time for you to give a response, instead opting to throw his tongue across yours and bite all around, hungrily.

One hand of his pressed against the wall next to your head and the other holding taunt to your jaw, his chest pressed into you so tightly you almost couldn’t breathe. There was no way you could get so much as movement in from this position. He had fully control.

Moans escaped his mouth as he continued to throw himself into you, using his hand as leverage to pull your face into his so there would be no time for space to come in between you. With a quick pop, he pulled his mouth from yours, a string of saliva still intermingled to connect your lips to each other.

As hungrily as he’d started on your lips, he found his way down your neck and onto your collar bone. He licked and bit away until small welts began to form, causing a breathy moan to escape your lips.

“Chan,” you breathed out, trying to collect enough cognition to verbalize your thoughts. “Chan you can’t. People can’t know.” You strained your face. It pained you to even have to say it.

“Can’t know?” He brought his head up. “Can’t know that I’m good to you?” His hands grabbed at your waist, smoothing down your sides to firmly grasp your ass. “Can’t know that I’m giving you a good birthday?” He leaned his head in until his lips were around your ear, nibbling the tiniest bit. “Can’t know… that I’m fucking crazy about you,” he breathed out deeply as he said this, automatically letting his tongue run down along the outside of your ear. “Why can’t they know?” he whispered.

Fuck, he was making this hard. If your mind wasn’t so clouded over, maybe you could have come up with a better response. “Just… not yet.” That would have to suffice.

“Not yet…” he kissed your ear lovingly. “But one day,” he said as he smiled into you, using his hands to scoop up under your ass and lift you so that you were thrown over his shoulder.

“Christopherrrr,” you giggled, getting the wind knocked out of you in the process. “Put me downnnn,” you wiggled your legs, making it harder for him as he began to walk.

“I will, I will!” he laughed as he gripped onto you more securely, making sure you wouldn’t fall. “Just gotta make sure you get to the couch safe.”

“I know how to walk!” you tried to protest, but sounded too cute to be taken seriously.

“Barely… Here,” he said, letting you down slowly and placing you so that you were sitting on the couch. “Is that better?” he asked, half-laughing.

“Much,” you smiled, pulling on his hand to bring him in closer.

“Now, you’re gonna have to trust me and let me take care of you for your birthday, yeah?” he looked at you, face stern and serious.

You nodded as you let your tongue run along your teeth, ending in an anticipating smile.

Not being able to stand the sight of you being too far from him, he quickly fell to his knees in front of you, letting one hand relax on your thigh while the other gripped the side of your jaw. He leaned in to begin kissing you all over again, just as much force as he’d thrown into you mere minutes ago.

Slowly, you felt his hand run along your thigh, massaging gently before running over to pay attention to the opposite side. Before you knew it, he was rubbing up and down the entirety of your leg, pulling your shoes off of you forcefully.

It was crazy how Chan could be saying something so sweet, but then behaving so aggressively back to back.

You felt his breathing quicken into your mouth as he threw his tongue further into you, letting his hand drag the bottom of your dress upward until it was above your hips.

Only then did he disconnect his lips from yours, pulling his head back to look at your body underneath. Your pretty underwear that he convinced himself that you’d worn just for him. His jaw dropped the tiniest bit, seeing how pretty you looked for him.

His mouth found its way back to your neck, more gently this time. His hand ran slowly between your legs, teasing a big before using his entire forearm to separate your legs apart. You felt his lips curl into a smile as you let out a tiny moan.

Taking his time, he walked his hand until it lingered just above your underwear, continuing to gently tug them down until they were completely off, leaving you fully exposed to him. Normally, you may have gotten a bit nervous at this point, but with Chan, you couldn’t process any emotions but pure lust.

Chan’s hands found their way to your core, running gently a few times along the outside before letting a finger wander inside of you, dipping into your entrance, which was absolutely soaked at this point.

“Damn, baby,” Chris giggled, loving how worked up you were for him.

Moving a couple of fingers against your wetness, he gently worked his way up until he hit a spot that made you wince and had your breath hitch in your throat.

“Is that it princess? Is that where it feels good?” he smiled, pulling himself from your neck so that he could watch your face.

You nodded, throwing your head back and taking deep breaths to try and keep yourself from slipping away.

“Do you like it like this?” he asked, running his fingers up and down precisely across your clit. “Or like this?” he added, moving his fingers now into a circling motion. The movement sent a quick chill down your spine.

“Like that, like that,” you huffed, reaching down to stabilize his wrist where it was. Your hips reflexively bucked up into him, only adding to the pleasure you felt.

Chan smiled, loving what he knew he was doing to you. The way your body arched for him as he went the tiniest bit faster.

“Hands off, princess. It’s just me taking care of you tonight,” he teased, moving your hand away while still rubbing you in just the right way.

Suddenly, you heard the door burst open, hearing footsteps until a disheveled-looking Felix appeared.

“What the fuck, bro?” Chan yelled, jerking your dress down a bit so that it was covering you but leaving his fingers in place all the same. “What are you doing here?!”

“You told me I could come over,” Felix whined, obviously still drunk off his ass. He took a couple more steps forward until he realized. “Wha- what are you doing?!” he asked, as if he’d just walked onto the scene of a crime.

“What does it look like we’re doing?” Chan yelled, obviously annoyed now. “Go to my room and play a game or something, or just leave and come back later.” With his last sentence, Chan became a bit more comfortable, secretly moving his fingers again as he spoke. The mixture of his voice, his touch, and the scene around you, it was all too good. You bit down on your lip to stifle the moans that were begging to be let out. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding down a bit on Chan, forcing his eyes to dart back down to you instead of Felix.

“Channie-hyung, you knew I liked her first!” Felix complained, throwing his hands out, obviously still talking out of his ass. “It’s not fucking fair.”

“Fair?!” Chan yelled, getting even more heated. His hand still didn’t let up on your clit, instead working faster now. He was quickly gonna bring you to the edge, and you knew it. “She CHOSE me. Now get out of here and stop ruining her fucking birthday!”

“Y/n, tell him! Tell him you want me to stay. You want me too, I know you do!” Felix begged, walking closer to the scene. From here, he could tell that Chan still had you going. Your face was contorted in all kinds of shapes and slow, steady breaths were all that were keeping you sane. He was sure it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

“Holy shit,” Felix breathed out, savoring the sight of you. “Fuck,” he tipped his head back, not being able to stand it anymore, his senses coming to him.

“Lix can get in,” you tried to get out Chan, though it sounded more like a whisper.

Chan’s eyes looked at you daringly, picking up the pace on your clit as if he was waiting for you to change your mind. Challenging you.

“Fuck Channie,” you moaned, arching your back and reaching for his wrist yet again. Another second of this and you were going to explode.

You yanked on his wrist, moving his hand back for a second to allow yourself to get a few breaths in. You waited until your heart began to slow before proceeding as Felix brought his eyes back down to you.

“Christopher,” you said softly, leaning up towards him to reach his lips. You planted a small kiss onto the side of his mouth as you took your hands to cup his face, holding it there for you. “Please baby,” you kissed him again. “Let Lixie in this time. For my birthday.”

You looked into his eyes deeply, slowly nodding so that hopefully he would join you and give in.

He granted your wish, nodding back and taking your hand in his to plant a kiss to it.

“Fine...” Chan said, turning his head around to find Felix. “But you’re not allowed to fuck her. That’s all me.”

Felix smiled, not needing to hear another word.

Chan rose to his feet with his hand still holding yours. “Stand up, princess,” he instructed, helping you get to your feet.

As soon as you stabilized, he hiked your dress back up, helping move you back onto the couch, now on your knees with your back arched ever so slightly.

You heard his belt unzip behind you as he shimmied his pants down and released his cock, which was already bulging and hard.

Spitting into his hand, he stroked himself a few times before lining up behind you and letting himself rub around your slit and across your clit a few times.

Felix, starting to catch on, walked himself around to the other end of the couch. As Chan got ready behind you, Felix slipped himself down so that he was lying flat on his back, inching his body up until his face rested right underneath your core.

You almost jumped at the feeling of Chan entering you slowly, feeling how big he was- much bigger than you could have imagined. He filled you up until you were completely full, not understanding until that moment how much you’d needed this. You let out a deep sigh as he bottomed out, hearing his moan from behind at how tight you were around him.

Slowly he inched out and back in until he felt comfortable enough to go harder, gripping tightly around your waist so he didn’t knock you away.

“Fuckkk,” you let out, reveling in how good he felt inside of you. Each new thrust sent a new wave of pleasure upwards. You didn’t know how any of this could get better.

Felix, too turned on by the noises overhead, brought his mouth to your pussy, just to where he was watching Chan now pound into you. He licked a few long stripes around your entrance, letting his tongue hit you, but also accidentally running slightly along Chan’s shaft as he railed into you. Felix rested his tongue here for a moment, letting it hit back and forth between you and Chan. The moans escaping your mouth were unreal. You just couldn’t help yourself. Felix’s hot breath on you only made it that much better.

“Ahh fuck,” you heard Chan curse under his breath, feeling the new stimulation from Felix’s mouth as he began alternating between licking and sucking at the area. Chan would never have admitted it, but fuck did it feel better than anything he’d ever experienced.

In unison, the three of you became a wild, moaning mess, each of you going harder and harder. Chan pounded into you as quickly as he could, beginning to hit the most perfect spot as you threw your hips back into him. He was so deep- so fucking deep that you almost couldn’t stand it. You could feel it hitting something inside you, radiating back with the most delicious feeling you’d ever experienced.

Felix’s mouth did wonders around you, having you wetter than you’d even thought possible. As his tongue moved to your throbbing clit, you audibly screamed. Your head began to spin as he swirled around you, giving you just the right pace and the right pressure.

“Oh Lixie,” you breathed out, almost in tears of how good he was doing for you.

“Mmm,” he moaned with a tiny smile, using his mouth to suck on you now, just as sweetly as before, making sure the flat of his tongue was winding you up to where you needed to be.

That’s when you felt it. The warmth growing in your stomach was starting to burn. Fast and hard. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you said, arching your body backward. “I’m gonna cum,” you repeated, closing your eyes tight as your mouth dropped open, feeling everything pent up ready to release.

Chan quickly brought his hand to your neck to hold you upright, fucking into you just right. His hips snapped up as you felt the heat of his mouth move up next to your ear.

“You’re gonna cum with me right now, pretty girl. Gonna cum together. I’m gonna fill you up right now...” His voice sped up, yelling urgently. “Cum with me right fucking now. Right fucking now,” he growled, groaning out as he fucked into you with a few final strokes.

Felix continued lapping at your clit until you couldn’t stand it. Suddenly, you snapped. Your thighs shut together around Felix’s face as you began convulsing nonstop around them both. You screamed, your arms reaching up to claw at Chan who was still fucking into you with everything he had.

Felix wouldn’t let up either, causing you to go intot he biggest overstimmulated panic you’d ever have.

You continued to thrash and to yell and to scream until tears were streaming down, unable to move or do anything anymore. You were completely spent. Completely used. And fuck did it feel amazing.

Satisfied and exhausted, Chan finally pulled out of you, cum following the direction. A bit of the cum landed right on Felix’s face, forcing him to let off of you and pull back.

“Damn,” you said, body still shaking as you took deep breaths, trying to process what had just happened.

You quickly rolled yourself back until you were able to stand again, pulling your dress down to cover you.

You brought your hands up to cover your face before laughing a bit, wondering how in the fuck this was real life and not just your imagination.

Felix dabbed at his face as he hoisten himself up back to sitting and Chan pulled his pants on. You all stood for a few moments, unable to say a single word.

“Well,” Chan finally got out, cocking a brow and trying to put everything together. He shook his head in disbelief as he fiddled with his fingers. “This was fun… but Felix…” he looked in his direction. “Never again,” he laughed, pitching his voice up at the end.

Felix nodded, holding in a laugh himself. “Yupppp,” he said awkwardly.

“And y/n,” Chan continued, looking over at you, “never again… with Felix.” He cleared his throat before going on to clarify. “With me, yes. With Felix, no.”

Felix flew his hands up, finally letting out a laugh. “Alright fine, I’m just going home,” he put on a fake pity voice before standing and walking to the front door.

You giggled in response, rolling your eyes. As you heard the door close behind Felix, you continued on.

“Ya know,” you said, looking into Chan’s eyes with a teasing smile, “you don’t get to tell the ‘birthday princess’ what to do?” you mocked his little nickname for you.

He moved in closer, placing his hands on your waist as he pulled you directly in front of him. “Technicallyyyy, you’re not the birthday princess anymore,” he smirked, nodding his head in the direction of the overhead clock hanging from the wall. “But, you can still be my princess. And my queen. And my everything else too. If you want,” he smiled.

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 1 day

Text

Smoking and other new things (M)

Part two of the I'd Do Anything Series

Summary: Since y/n can't tell anyone she fucked Jeonghan, she has to resort to other methods of achieving her original goal of making people see her in a different, less innocent light.

Warnings: Smoking, talk of drugs, college party- but not Jackson Wang's, skewed perceptions of 'innocence', blow job, throat fucking, dom!jeonghan, sub!yn, inexperienced!yn, creampie, rough sex, semi-public sex, light degredation, kinda mean!jeonghan, treats (don't ask), lots of saliva, minimal impact play

A.N. I just want it known that most of the experiences that y/n explores in this are experiences I TOO am unexperienced. My best friend was google, and the hits of vapes and cigarettes I took SOLELY for research on this fic. don't bully me pls </3

The great thing about the events of this past week was that unlike what anyone would have believed in and out of high school, you were finally not a virgin.

You had had multiple people make jokes with you that you wouldn’t have sex with anyone until you were married and even then they joked that you would wait forever after that.

Because somewhere along the line people became convinced that good kid also equaled prude.

So now, excitingly, you had physical proof that you weren’t a prude…

And you couldn’t tell anyone.

You tapped at your desk in aggravation, your finished chemistry work sitting captive beneath your hand.

What the fuck was the point in all of this? Sure in the moment it had all made sense, because Jeonghan was hot, and you two were alone, and you had wanted to be fucked so badly. But to so easily agree to not tell anyone.

What was the point? What was the point?

It wasn’t like you had only wanted to have sex with Jeonghan to brag about it. Having sex with a specific person wasn’t a brag, but now if you were to make some broad statement about how actually I have had sex before and I also did anal, and he creampied both of my holes- I even have a safe word but I can’t tell you who it was but I mean trust me it happened no one would believe you.

It sounded like you were just making up crazier details to make it more outrageous and therefore believable.

So, so frustrating…

You considered silently what to do with your weekend. You had gotten your homework done by now, and it was a Friday night. This was the perfect chance for you to do something else to change everyone’s opinions on you, but you didn’t even know where to start.

Okay… Not true. You could just go back to square one: Drugs.

And thanks to Jeonghan, you knew just where to go.

You pulled out your phone and opened Hansol’s contact.

Hey. I need drugs.

You thought that was simple enough and within only a few minutes your phone was buzzing. You picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, what the fuck?”

You pursed your lips, and tapped your index finger against the desk.

“What?”

“You can’t just text me that you need drugs,” Hansol clarified, sounding a bit annoyed that he needed to do so. Your eyes trailed to the side.

“You sound like Jeonghan.”

“What?” Hansol replied, confusion etching his voice. You didn’t elaborate.

“What should I say to you if I want drugs if I can’t just text you?” You asked.

Hansol sighed.

“Ask me in person?”

“But-“

You heard noise in the background and Hansol turned away from the phone, he spoke but his voice was muffled. Jealousy shot through your chest.

“Are you at a party right now?” You blurted before you could think twice about it. Hansol was quiet for a few seconds.

“… Yes….”

You planted both of your feet firmly on the ground.

“Let me come!”

“Y/n….”

“Please, please, please,” you begged, already getting to your feet to get changed. You switched the phone onto speaker as you began to rummage through your closet.

“Y/n, it’s just…. Really not your scene,” Hansol warned.

“It can be my scene!” You insisted as you ripped your shirt off. You grabbed your phone again, turning it off speaker and smashing it against your face. “Hansol, please, I promise I won’t stand out at all. It’ll be just like I’m one of the guys.”

You physically winced at your own words, and silence followed your statement. Silence that lasted for so long that you thought that surely you had ruined your chance completely.

“... Fine.”

“Really?!”

“But y/n. You have to be…” He let out a sound of frustration. “Good? Fuck. I don’t know, but everyone will be so pissed at me if I’m the one who invited you to this party and you get hurt or some shit.”

You weren’t really listening to Hansol at this point.

“I’ll see you soon Hansol!” You insisted. “Don’t forget to text me the address.”

You tried not to let what Hansol had said bother you too much, because who cared if he was still sheltering you when you had actually gotten the invite? You couldn’t help the excitement that was buzzing through your body at the fact that you were finally going to be at a party.

You weren’t sure what to expect, all you did know was that any college party was going to be either exactly like the movies or nothing like them at all.

You found the address of the house easy enough, and to start off the party certainly wasn’t as out of control as you had seen in films. There weren’t people throwing beer cans out of windows, and the music couldn’t be heard from all the way down the block but it did look like there were a lot of people inside.

Outside there were a handful of people talking with red solo cups in their hands, one of them being Hansol. As soon as you got out of your Uber, he saw you and waved you over.

“Hey,” he greeted as you joined him on the steps. He glanced over your outfit, a simple crop top and some jeans. “Good outfit.”

And you could tell by his voice that he was genuinely impressed. You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out over your lips.

“Thank you!” You said brightly. You peeked around his body at the party, and just as you did Hansol raised his vape to his mouth. You watched him, your heart thumping in your chest.

Vaping. Perfectly legal, perfectly safe. You could totally vape, and people would start to see you a little differently. Hansol seemed to watch your gaze and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you… Do you want a hit…?” He asked uncertainly. Your eyes lit up.

“Can I?” You asked. Hansol chewed unsurely on his bottom lip.

“Do you really want to?”

You nodded eagerly and so he sighed and handed it to you. You took the small piece of plastic and pressed it to your lips, but your hesitation was evident. Hansol sighed, that nervous expression still on his face.

“You have to slowly inhale the vapour, hold it in your mouth for just a second, and then open your mouth, breath in the vapour and exhale,” Hansol instructed. You nodded, trying to follow his instructions but when you tried to finally breathe in the vapour, you started to cough. Hansol took the vape from your fingers.

“It takes practice,” he said, but he looked more nervous than you felt. “Do you want a drink?”

He led you into the party, weaving through the groups of people. There were people playing beer pong, others standing around talking, some people were grinding on each other on the dance floor. What you knew for sure was that everyone was drunk.

You needed to get drunk.

Hansol walked right past the bowl of some sort of punch that was on a flimsy collapsable table and instead led you over to the fridge where he pulled out an unopened bottle of Corona beer. You pouted and pointed at the punch bowl.

“Solo cup,” you whined. He gave you another nervous look and instead, held the bottle out towards you more firmly.

“Unopened,” he pressed. You sighed, and decided to just take whatever alcohol you could get. Maybe you would try the punch later when Hansol wasn’t hovering over your shoulder as if he were your babysitter.

Your eyes trailed over the people at the party, trying to figure out who you knew, and who you could try to talk to. Before you could really take in your surroundings, a hand came to your back, and you jumped in surprise.

“Well, is that little y/nnie or are my eyes deceiving me?” The person bellowed. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. His lips curled up into a smile. “It is.”

You sucked in a small breath.

“Seobin?”

He grinned lazily.

“The one and only.”

Seobin was one of the boys that you knew from your time in high school. It may have been a while but you would recognize him on sight. (Considering he had been one of the more popular boys in school.) Seobin had never even talked to you before, and he certainly had never been this close to you.

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you knocked his hands off your shoulders, which he shrugged off like it had been his decision in the first place. He patted your head like you were a dog and looked over at Hansol.

“What’s little Miss Perfect doing here?” He asked, as if you weren’t standing right there. Hansol shrugged, still looking wildly uncomfortable.

“Y/n wanted to come,” Hansol shrugged.

“OoOoh,” Seobin said excitedly. He turned back to look at you.

“Looking for some way to change the way people think about you?” Seobin cooed lightly. You pressed your lips together in thought. “Looking for someone to make you seem, less pure?”

Your thoughts drifted to Jeonghan, and your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“I already have someone to make me less pure,” you mumbled softly. “Don’t need you to make me seem it.”

Seobin laughed in surprise at your brazeness and he clapped his hand on your shoulder, and tightened his grip so that you were still in place. He leaned forward, his nose nearly brushing yours.

“You’re telling me you’re not a virgin anymore?”

Your face burned as Seobin got knocked off of you.

“Fuck off,” Hansol bit out. “Stop messing with her.”

Seobin shrugged off Hansol.

“I’m not messing with her,” he grumbled. He looked at you. “Am I messing with you?”

You pursed your lips.

“I’m not a virgin,” you said, sounding like a whiney kid. Both Hansol and Seobin stared at you, before finally Seobin burst out in a loud obnoxious laugh.

“I need a fucking cigarette.”

You watched as Seobin dug his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small white box.

You stared at the box in Seobin’s hand, your heart thumping in your chest.

“I’ll just be a second,” he commented. He raised his free hand to pat your cheek condescendingly. “Why don’t you wait here for me huh?”

Your face burned.

“What? You don’t think that I can smoke?” You blurted, before remembering that you were supposed to be keeping your cool. Regardless, Seobin laughed.

“Can you smoke?” He asked.

“Well….” Your foot tapped against the ground in frustration. “I can certainly learn.”

Seobin’s eyebrows rose in amusement, and Hansol grabbed you by your forearm.

“Y/n,” he hissed, pulling you towards him a bit. “What… What are you doing?”

You shrugged.

“I’m going to learn to smoke a cigarette.”

Hansol looked pained.

“Why?”

You shrugged.

“Why not?”

He bit down on his bottom lip nervously and you took that as your opportunity to shake him off and follow Seobin out of the party. Once you two were out in the cool air, Seobin led you so that your back was on the wall of the house. He pulled out a cigarette and gave it to you.

You took it nervously in your hands, noting that it was a bit… Squishier..? Than you thought it would be.

Seobin poked his cigarette into his mouth, clicking his lighter to light the end of his cigarette. He took a small puff and then sighed, gesturing to you.

“Put it in your mouth,” he said pointedly. Your eyes widened a bit and you did as he asked. Seobin grinned.

“How obedient. Maybe you aren’t a virgin.”

Your face burned but as it did Seobin leaned forward and flicked his lighter on again, lighting the end of the cigarette. He put the lighter back in his pocket. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth briefly.

“Breathe into your mouth, down into your throat, and then exhale.”

You nodded, your eyebrows furrowing as you breathed in. You didn’t really feel like any smoke was entering your mouth. You kind of liked the texture of the cigarette between your lips.

Your eyes squinted at Seobin who had decided to pin you against the wall with one hand while he smoked with the other, watching you in amusement. You tried to breathe in again, and this time it hit your throat.

You burst into a coughing fit, which made Seobin laugh at you. He plucked the cigarette out of your mouth and grinned at you.

“Are you sure you can smoke?”

You glared at Seobin and he stuck the cigarette in his mouth. He stared at you, his arms crossed over his chest.

“You know, you’re actually really pretty.”

Color flared to your cheeks at the comment.

“If you really are still a virgin and looking to lose that status…”

Oh my god, was this really all it took? To head to a party, and drink a little beer, and badly smoke a cigarette and then all of a sudden Seobin would want to fuck you. You couldn’t believe it. How easy this would have been if you had just cut out the middle man and come straight here.

“I…” You trailed off and Seobin took a step forward. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke in your face. You turned your head to cough and as you did, his fingers came into your hair, and he led your gaze back to his.

“I can make you choke on a lot of things y/n.”

Your face burned red and you shook your head quickly, your mind flashing to that of Jeonghan. The fast image of his eyes flashing in your mind had you lightly pushing at Seobin’s chest.

“I-I think I’ve choked enough tonight,” you said with a nervous laugh. Seobin’s eyes were still lingering on your lips- Oh my god you really were hot.

“Shame,” Seobin finally said. His eyes flickered back up to yours.

“But if you change your mind.”

If you changed your mind you could just call Seobin.

What a crazy thing to think. That you had options.

You stayed outside for a bit longer, begging Seobin to let you try and smoke again. He gave you the cigarette after you begged a little bit, and you got more used to it after half an hour. You didn’t like it, but you did get used to it.

After you went back inside you drank some more, and Hansol started to finally loosen up a bit, less worried about you as you melded in with the crowd of people.

And by the time you got home that night, drunk and tired, you finally felt like you were actually starting to fit in.

Somehow you had managed to get yourself invited to a study session with Hansol and his friends on one of the higher floors of the library in their own study room. After hours of studying and talking, Hansol started to pack up his things and he looked across the room at you.

"If you really want..." Hansol's voice was a bit hesitant as his fingers clutched around the small dark vape cartridge in his hand. "We were all going to get high and watch Finding Nemo."

He shrugged off-handedly as if it was something so mundane to him he couldn't imagine you wanting to do it. And that hesitation made sense because to him, this was mundane. You had heard him and Irene making these plans around you a million times and yet you had never gotten an invite.

But today you had somehow managed to get one.

You tried not to come off as too excited.

"Sure, it's been a while since I've seen Finding Nemo."

Hansol nodded, a smile flickering across his lips as he turned over his shoulder, back toward the room that you two had just come from. You followed him, both of you sticking your heads back through the doorway.

"Y/n and I are headed out," he announced. You sent a timid smile Seungcheol's way, and as you did you turned around, excited to follow Hansol off but instead of following you ended up colliding.

You glanced up, squinting to figure out who was staring down at you with an incredulous expression on his face.

You immediately straightened up, pressing your lips into a tight thin line.

"Oh, Jeonghan, you just missed us," Hansol commented. Jeonghan's eyes flicked over to Hansol's for only a second.

"Us?"

"We're meeting up with Irene, Mark, Eunbi, and Yerin," Hansol elaborated and he so clearly didn't see the expression on Jeonghan's face that you did.

You looked away from Jeonghan, and instead found a spot on the floor, wondering why you felt like a child who had just gotten caught at a party by their parents.

"Y/n's going with you?" He asked. Hansol hummed.

"Not as innocent as we thought I guess," Hansol commented. "Asked for a hit of my vape."

"Yeah?"

His gaze was practically burning into you.

"And you were telling me about that party you went to last-"

Your eyes widened and you darted forward, your hand covering Hansol's mouth before you could consider the repercussions for your actions. Hansol stared at you in confusion, and you forced a laugh, letting your hand slide down to his shoulder.

"Can't tell everyone about the party."

"Considering that Seobin taught you how to smoke a cigarette I would think you would be ecstatic to tell everyone about the party."

There was dead silence between you three, in fact, you weren't even breathing.

"You know, considering the fact you're trying to make people see you more seriously."

Why did Hansol feel the need to double back on that? Why did that just make everything worse?

"You know what? That does make me see y/n in a different light."

You risked a glance up at Jeonghan, who had a scarily calm expression on his face.

"Why don't I walk y/n to Irene's? Didn't Soonyoung have some project he needed to talk to you about?" Jeonghan asked, directing his attention fully to Hansol. Hansol's eyebrows furrowed and he looked down at his hands.

"Shit, you're right."

As he thought over Jeonghan's proposition his hand raised to his face, and the light on his vape lit up, the artificial smoke drifting out of his mouth after only a moment.

"Y/n, Jeonghan can get you there. I'll be there in just a few moments."

He held out his vape just the same way that he had a few minutes ago, expecting you to take another hit. You decided not to overthink it. You grabbed the vape, breathed in too fast, and a cool and sharp bit of air and smoke hit the back of your throat. You coughed out in surprise but mostly kept the sudden reaction concealed.

Hansol smiled.

"You're getting used to it. I'll see you in a second."

And then he was rushing off, leaving you all alone with Jeonghan at your side.

It wasn't like you were doing anything wrong. You weren't doing anything that anyone your age had told you not to. You were just trying new things, and hanging out with new people and... Making everyone think differently of you.

Now that Hansol thought you were willing to try all of these new things he was looking at you differently. No longer that smile that haunted you when people asked you if you wanted to smoke with them out of convention. The look in their eyes that said that they knew you were going to turn down the offer, and that look that screamed to you that they looked at you as more of a perfect porcelain doll than a human.

And yet, looking away from Hansol's expression, the way that said that he finally thought you were normal, you turned and looked to Jeonghan's and you saw something else.

He didn't seem to see you as normal necessarily, and there was disappointment, but that wasn't everything that was there... He didn't look at you like you had suddenly changed into something that ruined his perception of you... What was that look in his eyes?

"Cigarettes?" He asked you after a few moments. You stared at him and nodded. "How long were you at that party?"

Your hand raised subconsciously to the eyeliner you hadn't completely scrubbed from off your undereyes. He huffed.

"And you're vaping now too?"

All things that you knew your parents would shame you for, and you felt shame. You felt like you had disappointed Jeonghan, but... Not the way that you felt like you should feel.

"You want me to teach you something today?" Jeonghan asked you. He closed the distance between you two, and dug his fingers into the roots of your hair. "Something like what I taught you the last time we were alone?"

Your breath hitched.

"Yes sir," you barely managed to get out, because as soon as the confirmation was out of your lips Jeonghan's lips were smashing into yours. Your hands quickly fell to his arm for purchase, your eyes smashed shut as every part of you forgot how to think.

You didn't even realize that you were desperately trying to press yourself into the kiss until Jeonghan had pulled away and you realized you were on the tips of your toes.

You stared at him, chest heaving, ready to be obedient for him.

"Today you're going to learn how to be quiet."

Jeonghan shoved you towards a closet and smashed the two of you inside of it. He then dug his fingers into your hair again and forced you down to your knees.

"Today you're going to learn how to suck dick."

You felt your mouth growing wetter as you stared up at Jeonghan, the dim light of the closet framing the dark look in his eyes.

"And today you're going to learn how to hide when you've done something naughty."

You swallowed hard, nodding stupidly as Jeonghan released your hair. He began to undo his belt, the metal clattering loudly.

“Have you told anyone about us?” He asked, and to punctuate the question he snapped his belt. You jumped at the loud crack, watching as he tossed it to the side. You shook your head in negation to his statement.

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed as he unzipped his pants.

“Use your words y/n,” he said simply.

“I-I haven’t told anyone,” you managed to get out. A smile flickered over Jeonghan’s lips.

“Good girl,” he cooed. Your face burned under the attention and Jeonghan’s hands wrapped around the base of his cock, drawing your eyes back to it.

Already the thing was standing hard and heavy in front of you, the tip of his cock only a few inches from your face.

“You’ve never sucked cock before?” Jeonghan confirmed. You shook your head slowly, your eyes not leaving the length of his cock. That had been inside of you. Not long ago, Jeonghan had been fucking you with that and you had taken it (as far as you were aware) like a fucking champ. You could hardly believe it.

Jeonghan suddenly tapped the tip of his cock to your lips.

“Pay attention,” he mumbled. Your eyes flickered back up to his, an apologetic expression crossing your face.

“Giving head is easy,” Jeonghan finally said, he gave his cock a few strokes as he spoke. “Keep your teeth off of my dick, and focus on taking me as far into your mouth as your comfortable with.”

He eyed you for a moment.

“Why don’t you touch it a little first? Get comfortable.”

The way that Jeonghan was talking to you about sucking his dick was absolutely humiliating. Like you were a kid trying to ride a bike for the first time. Still, you did as you were told. You tentatively wrapped your hands around his cock, staring at the tip as you gave it a hesitant pump.

You looked at Jeonghan for approval which he gave with a small nod.

“The head of the cock is the most sensitive part of it,” Jeonghan said, his breath catching a little as the comment made you immediately swipe your thumb over his tip. You felt a little proud to have made him react like that, so after another pump you did it again.

He readjusted the way he was standing.

“Lick it,” he instructed softly, and his fingers came to rest in your hair again. “Just a bit, get me wet with your tongue.”

You nodded slowly, and tilted his cock up a little so that you could give his cock a very small lick. It felt a little awkward, but you still licked again, and again, deciding to treat it like it was icecream.

You didn’t think that the very minimal stimulation would be good at all, but as you started to lick up the base of his cock, Jeonghan’s fingers tightened a bit in your hair. His mouth let out soft little pants as you licked across the expanse of his dick, before you finally grew a bit impatient. You licked the tip of his cock, your tongue pressing against his slit. He let out a barely contained groan, and so you sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth.

His fingers gripped at your hair, but you still sucked at his tip, the saltiness of his precum spreading over your tongue.

“Deeper,” Jeonghan grunted out.

You glanced up at him, but his eyes were closed. You slowly began to work more of him into your mouth, but you only had a little bit more of him in your mouth when you stopped, your mouth already feeling full around him.

“Is that it?” Jeonghan bit out impatiently. Your face heated up even more and you tried to suck more of his cock into your mouth, but you ended up choking on it. You pulled off of him completely, little tears sprouting in the corners of your eyes as you coughed.

You hadn’t really imagined that sucking cock would be this hard.

Jeonghan sighed and the grip he had on your hair loosened, his hand sliding down your cheek so that his thumb could rub you just under your chin.

“It’s a process…” He said softly. You caught your breath and nodded, before raising your head a little bit to look back up at him.

“How many girls have given you head?” You asked. The question clearly caught him off guard, his fingers left your face.

“Well, that’s a bit personal-”

“I’m going to do it better,” you mumbled softly. You dragged the tip of his cock back to your lips and you closed your eyes as you slowly worked more of him into your mouth. You decided to do it more like you had seen in porn videos. You eased his cock into your mouth, and worked it in and out as you slowly made your way further down on hin.

“Just take it slow,” Jeonghan encouraged you, his hand was on you again, his thumb rubbing your jaw. You closed your eyes tightly and pushed his cock deeper into your mouth. You got a bit deeper than you had the first time before you started to gag again but this time you tried to push through it.

You forced more of him down your throat.

“Don’t push it too hard,” Jeonghan warned. You ignored him, and choked harder around his cock, saliva dipping down your chin. Jeonghan’s hand came back to your hair and he tightly pulled you off of him. You coughed again, gasping.

“I said don’t push too hard,” Jeonghan reasserted. You groaned, your head tilting a little bit.

“I just…” You trailed off as you caught your breath.

“Sweetheart-” For some reason, the nickname made your face burn. “What you are trying to do, isn’t a blow job. You know why your choking? Because you’re taking my dick down your throat.”

Your face blazed.

“Well, that feels better than just a blow job, right?” You asked hesitantly. Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile.

“Immensely,” he agreed, and then his face morphed into something more serious. “But you’re a beginner. And deep throating is an expert move-”

“Just give me advice on how to choke less,” you blurted out, not interested in hearing Jeonghan tell you that you were worse at sucking his dick than everyone else before you. He raised an unamused eyebrow at the interruption. “Please?”

“Breathe through your nose,” Jeonghan mumbled back. “If you’re so insistent.”

You nodded, and sucked in a deep breath before leaning forward again. You sucked him back into your mouth, and like before you eased it slowly deeper and deeper into your mouth. Once it was pushing into your throat you were beginning to gag again, but you tried to do what Jeonghan had suggested and just breathe through your nose.

He was yanking you off of his cock again and you fought to catch your breath, spit dripping down your chin.

“You’re doing fine,” Jeonghan mumbled reassuringly. You swallowed some of the spit in your mouth and looked up at him.

“Does it feel good at least?”

He stared at you in confusion.

“What?”

“When I choke on your dick.”

A strange looked flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he leaned down towards you. His lips quirked up in a small smile and his thumb pushed into your mouth suddenly. You weren’t sure why, but you sucked on the finger regardless.

“It feels amazing when you choke on my cock,” he mumbled softly. “And I would like nothing more than to fuck that little throat as hard and deep as I want to… Holding back is… Difficult.”

Your face darkened a little and you stared up at him, your eyes wide, the question in them hopefully going unsaid-

“You want me to?” Jeonghan asked, amusement etched in his voice. “You want me to fuck your throat like I’m some kind of animal?”

Embarrassment swirled through your chest, and your pussy burned at the way Jeonghan said it. You nodded once.

“You’ve got to beg me for it, y/n,” Jeonghan chided lightly. “I want to hear you begging for me to fuck your little virgin throat.”

Your eyes fluttered shut in embarrassment.

“Please…” You whispered.

“Please what?”

Jeonghan’s thumb prodded at your chin, rubbing your saliva onto it.

“Please fuck my throat…”

Jeonghan’s hum of approval sent arousal thrumming through your body.

“Now that’s a good girl.”

His fingers grasped both sides of your face and he tapped your cheek to make you open your eyes back up.

“Pinch my thigh to stop,” he ordered. You nodded once.

“O-okay..” You mumbled. Jeonghan grinned, and then he was easing his cock down your throat.

At first, he was being careful. He slowly eased his cock into your mouth, his fingers digging into your face as he tried not to force himself too deep too fast. His moans stuttered as he eased himself in and out of your mouth, his breathing strangled.

But the second his cock dipped too far into your throat and you choked, he was losing control.

He forced his cock so deep into your throat, you felt like you were breathing him in. You gagged around his cock, but just as he was pulling out, he was pushing in just as deep and hard. You focused on keeping your teeth out of the way at first, but the more he fucked your mouth, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed as carefully as you could through your nose…

His moans sent heat right down to your core. Your whole body ached with the need to be touched as he fucked your throat like he needed to do so to live.

You couldn’t believe the sounds he was making. Couldn’t believe that even though saliva was dripping down your chin and you were choking he was still using you like you were some kind of toy.

Out of nowhere, Jeonghan pulled himself out of your mouth.

“Are you ready for me?” You gasped for air, your eyebrows strewn in confusion. Ready for what?

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, frustrated.

“You better be fucking opening yourself up for me,” Jeonghan elaborated. Because your mouth is hot…” He began to slide down towards you. “And tight…” He took your free hand, shoving it into your panties. “And so so pretty…” His lips pressed to yours. “Especially stretched around my cock.”

He smiled, and tapped your face with his hand. Not quite sharp enough to be considered a slap.

“But I want to fuck that pretty pussy, and i expect you to be ready for it.”

He stood back up, towering over you again.

“It’s not my job to make sure you’re open enough for my cock.”

A shiver ran through your body, at both the insuation that he would fuck you- stretched out enough for his cock or not- and at the excitement that he was going to fuck you again. Here?!

Your rice purity score was changing rapidly.

You tried to push two fingers into your pussy, but it was a bit of a struggle, so you focused on just the one for the moment.

Jeonghan tapped the tip of his cock to your lips again and you opened your mouth obediently. He took you by the roots of your hair and pushed his cock down your throat. Your fingers stilled inside you as you coughed around his cock, but he mostly ignored it.

Besides, you still had one of your hands free, and rested on his thigh. An easy cop out if you needed it.

As you tried to focus on your breathing you also tried to refocus on fingering yourself again. This time you managed two fingers into yourself and you started to scissor those two in and out of your pussy.

Even if you were just at home on your own with one of your dildos you would be rushing this. Honestly, you’d probably get impatient right away and just start to force the dildo into you as is, but since you couldn’t control the timing of your current situation, you focused on your fingers.

Jeonghan pressed your head against the wall so he could fuck your mouth better, but he paused for a moment, reaching down so that he could lift up the corners of your skirt. He saw your hand stuffed in your underwear and a curse mixed with a moan left his lips. He pulled you up by your hair.

“Panties off,” he instructed you. “Want to see that little pussy dripping all over the floor.”

You immediately struggled to step out of your underwear, and once you did you were back in an awkward squat, your back and head against the wall as you fingered yourself and Jeonghan fucked your throat.

Every now and then, Jeonghan would reach down and pull the hem of your skirt up so that he could watch your fingering and the way that your own spit was dripping down your chin onto your shirt, but you secretly thought it was an excuse to let you breathe.

After a while though, Jeonghan couldn’t keep up the pattern. He yanked you up by your hair, and shoved you into one of the shelves against the wall. Your cheek pressed into old wood, your hands knocking over some books.

“What’s your safe word?” He asked you, as if that’s what you were thinking about when the tip of his cock was sliding in your folds. And to make all matters worse he had you mangled in such a way that moving was impossible, with one hand knotted into your hair.

You squirmed a bit, and Jeonghan’s tip slipped into your pussy, only to be immediately drawn out. A sound of frustration you didn’t even realize you knew how to make was forcibly ripped from your throat, and Jeonghan pulled you back by your hair.

“Your safe word.”

Right. You blurted out your safe word, your fingers finding purchase on the shelf just in time for Jeonghan to sink himself inside of you.

Your fingers clenched tightly at the stretch, grateful that Jeonghan had given you so much time earlier to stretch yourself out. Jeonghan shifted his hands so that he was pressing his palm into your back, pushing you down hard.

“Oh aren’t you so good for me?” Jeonghan pressed lightly. His hand left your back for only a second, and just as you straightened up his hand was smacking your ass.

You cried out in surprise, the hit sending warmth through your body.

“Don’t fucking move,” Jeonghan growled. His hand pushed down your back again hard, forcing your ass out more. “If I put you in a position you don’t fucking move.”

You whimpered back your response and this time when he pulled his hand away from you, you stayed in position. Even so, he smacked your ass again, and you cried out as he began to set a hard and fast pace of fucking you.

“That’s better,” he praised lightly. His hand brushed your hair off of his neck so it was more exposed to him, and then his hand was pressing down on it, pressing you harder into the shelf. “You’re starting to learn to take dick so well…”

As he spoke he pummeled his cock into your pussy. You let your forehead hit the shelf as you raised a hand to your mouth, trying to muffle your screams as he pushed so deep inside of you that you thought you were going to break- No amount of stretching yourself out on your fingers could prepare you for how deep his cock was pushing inside of you.

“That’s right,” Jeonghan cooed, forcing his cock even harder into you, so hard the shelves shook around you. “Better keep quiet. Don’t want anyone to hear…”

He laughed at his own words.

“Well, you do want people to hear don’t you? You would love for someone to find out that you let me rail you in a closet wouldn’t you?”

You whimpered, your eyes closing firmly shut as you tried to ignore him, tried to focus on keeping your voice down.

“You know, your hovering dangerously far into slut territory.”

You squeezed around his cock, crying out as the simple use of the word made a moan rip out of you.

“Oh fuck, I can’t handle it when you squeeze my cock like that,” Jeonghan groaned, his voice rising in pitch as his fingers dug into your hips, holding you still so he could fuck you even harder.

“You know what else makes you squeeze my cock like that?”

He smacked your ass, and as the pain shot through your body, just as he said, your pussy clenched around his cock. He moaned loudly.

“I’m going to fuck you so full of my cum…” He moaned. “Beg for it y/n…”

You knew that if you let your hand leave your mouth you would be screaming for Jeonghan to fuck you harder, but it seemed Jeonghan didn’t care about that because in the few seconds you were considering your options his hand was striking even harder on your ass.

“I said beg.”

“Please-” You blurted out, trying to keep your voice to a steady level, but your whole body was bouncing on his cock. Your heart was thumping in your chest, your own orgasm was rapidly approaching.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jeonghan please come inside of me,” you begged. “Need it deep… Need to feel you for days… Need to-”

Jeonghan’s cock twitched inside of you and he forced his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them hard as a way to keep yourself from screaming as thick ropes of hot cum shot out, deep into your pussy. You came around his cock almost instantly, your pussy milking him of every drop of cum. He gave you a few hard and deep thrust before finally pulling his fingers and cock out of you.

You gasped as you tried to keep your grip on the shelf, your legs shaking as you tried to get yourself together. But, you finally gave up on that and let yourself lower to the floor, your back hitting the wall as your pussy dripped cum. You did your best to try and catch your breath, silence falling between the two of you.

Jeonghan dug into his pocket, and, unbelievably enough pulled out a chocolate bar. You panted where you were now slumped against the ground and stared at him as he unwrapped it a little, breaking off one of the pieces.

“Open,” he said firmly.

You wouldn’t have argued with him no matter the situation. You opened your mouth and let him put the candy in your mouth. He watched you in silence for a little, waiting for you to finish eating that piece of candy before putting another piece in your mouth.

“Y/n…” His tone was scary.

“What?” You asked him.

“Why are you…” He trailed off, sounding a bit frustrated. “It’s just…” He was struggling greatly with what to say. “You’re an adult.”

Your eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“I’m an adult,” you agreed. He stared at you, broke off another piece of candy and put it in your mouth.

“And all of your friends are now adults,” he continued. “And adults, aren’t bothered with superficial things. They care about a person for… That person.”

You stared at him, and opened your mouth, only to be silenced with another piece of candy.

“Cigarettes are bad for you,” Jeonghan said quickly. Your wide-eyed expression dropped to one of dread, and just as you went to argue with him, he covered your mouth with the palm of his hand. “And you shouldn’t be vaping just so Hansol thinks you’re cool!”

You glared at Jeonghan.

“You don’t need to change anyone’s opinion on you,” Jeonghan said weakly. “You could… You could do anything and people are still going to treat you the same.”

You pinched Jeonghan’s wrist, and he gave you a more pointed look.

“I’m serious.”

You pinched him again and his hand fell to his side.

“Hansol invited me to a party Jeonghan,” you said. You shifted so that you were sitting more upright. “And then Seobin taught me how to smoke and he almost kissed me- And he’d never even looked at me in high school.” You waved your hand through the air. “And today Hansol called me cool.”

“Hansol thought you were cool before,” Jeonghan said. “He only said that to me because he thinks I don’t think you’re cool.”

Your ears perked up at that. Did Jeonghan think you were cool?

“And you don’t want someone like Seobin to kiss you,” he sounded disgusted. “If you wanted someone like Hansol, or Hyuk to kiss you I would get it but not someone like Seobin.”

“Jeonghan I don’t care who wants to kiss me. I just want someone to kiss me.”

The serious expression on his face cracked a little, his lips up-quirked.

“Well, I know someone who could do that for you,” he said, his voice dropping a bit. A smile spread across your lips too, but it seemed to remind Jeonghan of what he had been trying to say. “You don’t need to do all these new things if you are just trying to change people’s perception of you.”

“People don’t take me seriously Jeonghan,” you argued back. This time, growing frustrated of the fact that you had just let him rail you just so that he could lecture you after. You got to your feet, and began to put your clothes back on. Jeonghan just watched you from where he was crouched. “No one takes me seriously.”

“I take you seriously,” Jeonghan replied back firmly. You eyed him.

“You didn’t take me seriously until I demanded you sell me drugs.”

Something flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he got up in a flash.

“That’s not true.”

His tone was stern, but as soon as he was standing he seemed to notice something on your face. He sighed his frustration and reached forward, his thumb brushing over your cheeks, just by the corner of your lips.

“If you think that someone will only like you because you do drugs and let them fuck you anywhere you shouldn’t be friends with them.”

You stared at Jeonghan blankly.

“Do whatever you want y/n,” Jeonghan said after a moment’s pause. “But your friends. Your real ones, they don’t like it. I would be saying this to anyone. Take it from the black sheep. Don’t do anything that will get you hurt.”

He tugged at your shirt so that it fell right on your body, and then he opened the closet door.

“But keep in mind that you have a lot of people who are willing to catch you if you fall.”

He peeked around outside of the closet and then fully stepped out. He gestured for you to follow, and you did. He gave you one more look.

“You haven’t been offering yourself up to people for drugs have you?”

You shook your head wordlessly. He let out a sigh of relief.

“My number is still the same.”

And with that he waved his hand over his shoulder and walked away.

Taglist (go here to join!):

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#PEER PRESSURE WORKS MY FRIENDS #ITS OUT #I DID IT #EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU BRIE #the comic sans I had this document in hurt my head #i hope it was worth the wait.#jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan smut #jeonghan fanfiction #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #seventeen #kpop smut

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centrally-unplanned · 14 hours

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How exactly was so just dumb about 2020?

Honestly its a book-worthy subject - Freddie deBoer wrote one for example - and I lack the spoons to do the topic justice. So just to quickly summarize my stance, in 2020 there was a massive wave of activism, originating in the George Floyd protests, that was both wrong-on-the-merits and actively harmful in what it did. Big activist groups wasted time on bad ideas like "police defunding" and carrying water for street violence & theft, bad-as-outlined and specifically against the interests of minority Americans (who want more policing not less because crime is awful and hurts them the most, just also accountable policing).

Many, many organizations got convinced that ~structural racism~ was Inside The House and organized large-scale inner-org ideological wars against their own staff, generally hunting ghosts since, no, progressive political organizations and liberal US universities are not the source of racial income inequality. People wasted millions of dollars, fired innocent people, made tens of thousands feel afraid to share their true opinions, and degraded organizational trust and effectiveness.

The scale of these things is, of course, small! Most people work in accounting firms or at State U and maybe had to put up with some dumb "racial reckoning" zoom calls. But A: individual lives are lived individually, for the people affected this was very bad. These organizations engaged is systematic discrimination against their racial & ideological opponents, in ways that were very hard to escape. And the results of these things stuck - political campaigning orgs and media outlets just got bad at their jobs because their staff was spending time on purity tests and building parasitic checkbox consulting orgs that are still around.

And most notably, it was awfully, ludicrously unpopular. It pushed all Americans who are not highly educated elite professionals (and generally white, generally women at that) to the right out of disgust. Which if your goals are like your own career or w/e I guess you don't care, but if you are an explicitly political movement I think own-goaling that badly is a demerit. This movement's contribution to the lasting appeal of Donald Trump is not zero by any means.

Hard to say what the counterfactual is because 2020 was uh quite a year. But imo if the social justice "racial reckoning" did not happen we would on net be better off.

(On top of all this, as deBoer mentions in that link, it is particularly annoying how many people in the SJ camp today pretend none of this ever really happened)

(And thank you for the question ofc!)

#sj discourse bleg #as i mentioned in other posts there are good things this movement accomplished too - just off topic for this one

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what-even-is-thiss · 2 days

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Why do people have so much trouble telling the difference between "90% of car usage is technically unnecessary and could be eliminated if we made changes such as these to our neighborhoods" and "WHEN I BECOME THE GOD-EMPEROR NEXT WEEK, I WILL IMMEDIATELY VAPORIZE ALL CARS AND YOU WILL ALL HAVE TO FIGURE THINGS OUT FROM THERE"? I mean, the main difference between these two statements is that you're only making the first one. You're not saying the second one at all, but people are somehow reading it on their screens when they see your posts.

I dunno, dude. People can take anything you say on the internet to a logical extreme. I also think there’s groups of people out there used to having to claw and yell and be annoying to get noticed because society hasn’t been kind to them. So they assume that when they haven’t been mentioned they’re being forgotten about again. And sometimes they’re right. And sometimes you just can’t fit all of the nuance in the world into one tumblr post you make at 2am and you haven’t forgotten them but that post just wasn’t about them.

When it comes to cars specifically I also think there’s a level of learned helplessness from people who grew up in car dependent areas. It took me over a year of living without a car to fully buy into anti-car politics because I’d been conditioned to think that cars were the only way to get around. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We all deserve better. Everyone does. With way less cars our cities are more dense and energy efficient, they’re quieter and less polluted with unnecessary noise, what few cars are left will have emptier and safer roads to drive on, people will spend less money on travel, they’ll get more exercise, have more contact with their neighbors, be more physically in touch with their town and everything in it.

There’s dozens, hundreds of little points that go into all this though. Nuances, local politics, competing needs. Things people are thinking about. But you can’t always address all of those concerns in one place. You usually can’t. And people get upset when you don’t address the thing they’re thinking about.

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bylrlve · 2 days

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Warning! Potential Spoilers for Stranger Things 5!

A compilation of recent tweets made by Alex and others about the mileven ‘making out in a field’ leak. Alex is insisting that this scene is separate from the sequence involving them talking on the rooftop, the scene which was leaked as a video back in January. According to 011scenes this scene happens ‘at the beginning’ aka in episode one.

The issue? Alex’s sources are people who speak to paps (which she lied about in answering a cc question; either that or she’s clueless), and who deliberately feed her inconsequential things production dgaf abiut because it distracts from the juicy shit e.g., what Mike and Will are doing. She was told ‘Robin and Will have a scene’ and that morphed into ‘Will is in his unrequited mopey Steve era, Jonathan and Robin don’t share scenes’, etc. The source said nothing about Byler being finished or about passionate makeouts.

I’m suspicious of the second anon’s claim about Finn, as Noah is straight-up went on TikTok live right before filming commenced in January to read out byler endgame and Byler kiss comments lmao. The bit about the love triangle being kept under wraps seems accurate enough - they’re openly passing out scraps of mileven to leakers to pass onto Alex, and it’s pretty clear they didn’t care about that mileven video hitting national news website in the Uk (daily mail). Byler? On lockdown. The only thing we know is the hospital stuff and that’s due to specific leakers, and even then it’s not that much. It is clearly a big question going into s5 for the GA, so it being kept tightly guarded is unsurprising.

The context of the kiss will be interesting, regardless of if it’s pro-mileven or somehow anti-. Alex indicates that it’s only them present in the field - BUT she’s also said that she outright leaves Will out of ‘leaks’ and gave the example of Max, Lucas, and Will having a scene but her only reporting Lumax having a scene, so… S4 mileven was a concerted effort to show that the characters had matured from s3, and that their fight was more serious. They only kissed once, and that briefly, and were… unaffectionate at the end of the season, to say the very least. The reversion to kissing in broad daylight, in an apocalyptic setting when El will be mostly hiding with Hopper from the military, feels a little out of character - and will certainly be jarring tonally and thematically.

Alex received this dm ^ back in February (discussed in my first leak post), which stated that hopper is annoyed by mike’s continuing presence around el. I and many others (including Alex iirc) dismissed it, as Hopper and Mike are on good terms at the end of s4. If Mike and El are still doing reckless things in s4, and if the old pattern of isolating El from others just to kiss re-emerges, though… The veracity of this is very shaky: the time skip occurs gradually over episode one, not in between episodes 1 and 2.

It’s important to note that many leaks are undoubtedly missing context. Just today, Alex brought up how she was right about Mike ignoring Will at the airport, about their fight, and about the airport kiss. Yes, she was, but she lacked the tonal subtext of the scene itself, which portrayed Mike’s behaviour as inexplicably phony - and of course, she lacked the lynchpin of this plot, which is that Will is in romantic love with Mike. She completely missed that, and it meant she missed every important aspect of this plotline.

Byrhop, a highly reliable st acc who’s closely following filming, was able to ascertain that Vickie is at the farm.

Lastly, I want to go over everything I know to try and map a trajectory. The Byers are living in the radio station before it’s overrun by military and they flee to the Turnbow farm - I personally am not sure of when exactly this occurs. There is a leaked hospital file showing that Karen Wheeler is attacked by a demogorgan. The file is dated as 1/1987 but it could be a prop error, as I’ve seen claims that she’s attacked when Holly is taken..

As we know, according to the leaked episode 2 title, Holly Wheeler goes missing. This likely occurs at the end of episode one, but the chronology is unclear. Karen being attacked could happen here, and I’ve seen claims that it happens in episode 2. Mike and El kiss in episode one, and as I’ve said this has been overblown greatly by Alex. The chronology of this is also unclear. At some point in episode one, Mike and Dustin are at the high school and interact with the jocks. Mike is wearing the same outfit he wears on the rooftop - dark trousers, blue and black shirt with a yellow collar, etc. As this is what he wore in the official pic released by Ross of him in his room, I am speculating that this is the first outfit he wears in the story proper, after the last time jump to November 1987, and that he may wear it throughout episode 2 as well

In episode 2, Mike, Nancy, and Karen have a plotline at the hospital. From official BTS pics, we know Robin and Vickie are there as well. The above anon does not mention Mike being injured, and its description of Karen’s mindset does not tally either with her having being attacked by a demogorgan prior or with Holly being abducted. It’s likely that they have partially but not totally accurate information; or else it’s a point in favour of Holly being taken and Karen being attacked after this happens, at the end of episode 2. I have confirmation that Mike is injured in episode 2, as are several other people - I discussed this in a post a few days ago - please discount the forehead kiss anon section of that post. This was confirmed by an extra who played a nurse on the scheme and by a different source later. The second source confirms that Will shows up last, and is crying and blaming himself for what happened. - I also have confirmation that El doesn’t show up to the hospital at all. The nurse extra also confirmed that Mike and Will ‘share scenes’ although he was not present for those so can’t speak as to what happened in them - I don’t have an image of that text so didn’t include it yesterday.

The forehead kiss anon is definitely not real (check @will80sbyers) but the rest seems to be.

Lastly, Atlanta-filming insinuates that the m*leven rooftop scene occurs after the hospital subplot. It’s unknown how they came to this conclusion.

To summarise: m*leven kiss in episode one, potentially during one of the staggered time jumps (my speculation) and the short rooftop conversation between them likely in either episode one or two immediately before something involving Hopper and Joyce occurs down in the field that alarms El. I’ve seen conflicting into on when Holly is abducted - either episode one or episode two. In episode 2 Mike, Karen, and Nancy go to the hospital for plot reasons. If this occurs after Holly goes missing, it is likely to be related to that. I am speculating that Holly vanishing, whenever it happens, accelerates the byler plotline, as Mike will more-than-likely seek out Will for advice, reassurance, information. In episode 2, Mike gets injured somehow at the hospital, along with several other people in a small-scale mass-casualty event, and ends up being admitted to the hospital. As I’ve said, it seems to be rock-solid that Will arrives and is crying and blaming himself for what happened, and Will stays with him but El is nowhere to be found in this plotline. We know from BTS pics that Robin and vickie are also there, and I’ve seen claims that Jonathan shows up to be with Nancy, but have no proof or knowledge of the providence of such claims, so… take that for what it is. It is pretty certain, as far as I know, that El is not there.

One possibility is that Will is possessed at least temporarily in 501-2. Perhaps there’s another superspy, ‘it’s a trap’ situation? Will Byers would never be reckless with the safety of Mike Wheeler or his family… but I bet Vecna and the mindflayer are just itching to attack the one salvation standing between them and Will. Something to muse on.

The timing of the rooftop scene is very important. El not showing up at the hospital is unlikely to happen after it. The scene is very clearly about affirming their relationship- whether as lovers or as friends. It’s likely that she’s distracted by Max, who is her main plot, but this is a narrative. El not being present for Mike, while Will is there and crying and staying by his side? That is telling of a potential rift that opens up in their relationship between episode one and two. There is a pattern of problems arising in their relationship in episode twos. In s2 El reached out to Mike during his call but he walked away while an ominous stinger played. In s3 they broke up at the end of episode 2. In s4 they had their disastrous roller rink date.

A few days ago, I gif’d the rooftop scene, and speculated that they’re discussing being friends, and that El apologises for not being there and Mike says ‘No. You should have been.’ before basically saying that he’s okay because Will was and “you’re all friends to me.” The ending of s4, to me, potentially marks a shift in Mike’s attitude to El, as much as it does for hers to him. In the hospital she seeks him out by resting a head on his shoulder, and she did speak briefly with him prior about Brenner, but he offers her no comfort beyond a stiff arm around her. When they arrive at the cabin, he walks in with the other boys instead of staying with her - as shes’s clearly very nervous and emotional about reentering the cabin. Finally, as we have all observed, she directs an almost angry look at Will and Mike before stomping into her room and slamming the door - a parallel to s3 after the phone call with Mike where she knew he was lying. When it pans back to Mike, and Will asks if they’ve talked? He rolls his eyes. Unlike in 403, he does not seek her out and push through her self-isolation. He leaves her be. This, coming from Mike the Paladin, suggests that he’s kind of done with trying.

El’s attitude has been convincingly dismissed by M*levens as simple grief over Max causing her to retreat as she always does. It is bizarre, however, that the monologue did nothing at all to make her feel she could rely on Mike, and much more so that he’s very apathetic.

I posit that they might, maybe, fall into old habits of passivity and inertia and string the relationship along over the time jump. Perhaps the kiss is from one of the interim jumps between March 1986 and November 1987? I could see El having too much on her plate to really address it, and feeling that she doesn’t want to push him away - after all, he did give the big damn speech. The kiss could be a parallel to Boyce and Stancy. If that Hopper leak is accurate (doubtful), perhaps they fall back into habits of clinginess and immaturity while still being deeply unhappy. Nurse extra stated that Mike is no longer trying to be normal, and that he’s discovering himself, being himself again, and being the support he once was - the wording rather implies that it means being the support to Will.

Of course, I could be wrong, and it could be that they’re doing very well, and that the kiss is indeed as happy and loving as Alex paints it out to be… but I am skeptical bc of the hospital, and because of El the brave protector not rushing to her boyfriend’s side. It’s simply too early to say. If my musing on whether Will was possessed and effectively set Mike up (against his will ofc) is correct, and if my lip-reading is correct, Mike speaking affectionately of Will here could be due to the fact that he’s intimately witnessed Will being possessed, and he knows Will would never do something like that on purpose.

Finally, definitely worth noting that there have been no signs of any NPC love interests. Will’s storylines are being protected well from leakers, so people could be missing something, but there has been no indication of it. What we are getting, though, is a focus on Will’s love of Mike, and his selfless devotion.

All of this is incredibly shaky, and I’m interested to hear your guys’ opinions on alternate sequences of events. Whatever the truth, clearly m*leven is inconsequential to the production, as it’s being deliberately leaked to distract from the real juicy stuff.

Oh, and I just want to wrap up by mentioning this bit of idiocy. Someone in Alex’s inbox sincerely thought that the production actually kills fields they want to look dead-looking, rather than editing it. And Alex agreed.

#byler #stranger things 5 leaks #stranger things 5 spoilers #st5 leaks #st5 spoilers

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emphistic · 2 days

Text

Écoute Chérie

A/N: grr

<- Series m.list

When a certain someone — specifically a blond male, showed up to Sukuna’s door that next morning holding a wad of cash in his hand, Sukuna wanted nothing more than to sock him in the jaw. But he contained himself, saying, “Keep that shit for yourself. I don’t want it.”

“Oh? You backing out now, Captain?”

“. . .You’re one sick fuck, Zen’in.” He snatched the money out of the younger’s hands, before slamming his door shut.

Pride is a terrible, terrible thing, and Ryomen Sukuna was full of it.

“Oh, my God, girl! I feel like we moved on a little too quickly. Pause: He—you—you guys KISSED? Stop, don’t—don’t play with me right now. I can’t even get a guy to let me cheat off of him on a final, but you kissed someone on the FIRST date. Let me say that again, FIRST date?! As in the first EVER date you two have been on together.”

If you were counting — which you weren’t, this would have been the seventy-ninth time you giggled out loud this evening. You and Nobara were sitting — no, standing, actually, with you leaning forward with your elbows on the counter, and the brunette doing likewise. You decided — well, you were forced — to fill her in on all that happened the day before. You had just gotten off of your shift, and, obviously, were still in your uniform, but Nobara insisted you tell her anyway. She wouldn’t and “couldn’t” wait until you got back to your apartment.

“Yes, Nobs, for the hundredth time. We kissed and even added a little bit of tongue and then he walked me back to my apartment and we fucked all night.”

The look on her face was absolutely priceless, her jaw dropped to the floor and even broke through the tiles and went further beneath the surface. Just kidding; because that’s not possible, but her expression was even more funny after you said, “I’m just messing with you, girl. I have some self-worth left, believe it or not, and I wouldn’t sleep with someone after the first date.”

“Funny how you decided to deny only that part.”

“. . .”

“Don’t—don’t tell me the rest was true. Oh, my God! STOP! I was only kidding; but you—you actually added tongue? What the fuck? And, you just decided to not call me right after? Wow.” Nobara crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air for only a few seconds before she went back to gripping your shoulders and shaking your body. “You are such a freak, my God.”

“He also walked me to my door, y’know. No need to focus on only those parts.” You tried to bring her focus onto that, because you found that part the most adorable.

Truth was, the only reason you didn’t immediately call Nobara that night was because you spent the last few hours of that night screaming into your pillow like a schoolgirl and reminiscing on all that happened.

“You know,” you started, turning to face the man behind you, “you didn’t have to walk me all the way to my door, right? I could’ve just gone by myself.”

You had insisted and insisted to Sukuna that you would be fine, and that the other residents of the building were friendly and cordial, but Sukuna ignored every one of your pleas and walked right next to you anyway. From the parking lot, to the elevators, and down the hallway, Sukuna never left your side, and actually, was surprisingly nice company. You two talked on the way about how good or bad the food at the game was, how hot and humid it was, how annoying the older gentleman beside your seats was, you two talked plenty enough.

“I know. I wanted to.” Sukuna stopped to lean against the wall beside your apartment, crossing his arms as you pulled out your keys.

“Hey, so, I had a lot of fun today. I guess baseball isn’t as boring as I thought it was,” you laughed, scratching the back of your neck. “Thanks for inviting me.” You had tried to tell him on the car ride to your place, but you chickened out.

Sukuna snorted, “No problem; my pleasure, actually. And, I had a lot of fun, too. I think I enjoyed today more than I would if Yuuji was there instead of you. So thank you for coming.”

“Oh, please. Don’t lie; he’s literally your brother. Besides, Yuuji’s not even here to defend himself. Kinda rude, if I say so myself.”

“I’m not lying, though, really. I enjoyed today. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to leave the house for anything fun and actually, sincerely, enjoy it.” Sukuna moved his head as he spoke, as if in a way to accentuate his point. You found that completely and utterly adorable. Just the thought of you being part of making his day alone made you blush, and you looked away sheepishly.

“I’m glad you had a nice time, Sukuna. And thank you, again, for today.” You caught Sukuna by surprise — beyond surprise, actually — when you cupped his face in your hands and brought your lips to his cheek for a chaste kiss. Mwah! The sound was audible through the night. And it was the sound which replayed over and over in Sukuna’s mind as he lay completely awake for hours past midnight in bed. The only thing he dreamt of — when he eventually fell asleep, that is — was you. You.

Now that he thought of it, there were no words to describe you. No words to describe your beauty, though, ethereal did come close. No words to describe the smile which you gave him when you two passed each other on campus. No words to describe how friendly and comforting the melody of your voice sounded to him; if you were a siren, and he, a pirate, Sukuna would dive headfirst into the water. No words to describe how drunk, how dizzy, how pathetic you made Sukuna, even with mere eye contact. But, there was a word to describe Sukuna.

It’s quite simple, actually.

Sukuna was whipped. Absolutely enamored of you. But. . . Very unfortunate he only noticed now. And, it was such, such a shame that he was also full of pride.

“Okay, that’s so romantic, though! I can’t believe it. My friend is gonna get with the love of her life, and I don’t even know how to turn the stove on. Oh, my God. My friend’s getting with the love of her life. OH, MY GOD!” That was not even close to the last time you would hear Nobara say “Oh, my God” that night.

“You wouldn’t happen to . . . y’know . . . have plans . . . this weekend?”

You didn’t know why Sukuna kept on pausing, but you knew it was oddly suspicious.

“And if I did?”

“Then, I wouldn’t ask you to . . . help me . . . with some . . . math.”

“Sukuna, are you okay? You sound like you’re being held at gunpoint.” You crossed your arms, failing to stifle a giggle. You really couldn’t fathom why he was acting so strange. Sukuna couldn’t, either.

Ever since the day you both went to that baseball game together, Sukuna’s been different, to say the least. And yeah, maybe after kissing someone for the first time changes your behavior towards them, but still, it was strange.

He wasn’t as cocky when going over his daily feats at basketball practice; he wasn’t as blunt and insulting to freshmans whom you two came across while on campus; he wasn’t as teasing or sharp with his remarks as he usually was; he wasn’t as assertive and casual whilst slinging an arm ‘round your shoulder. He wasn’t him. Then again, Sukuna also didn’t know why he was acting this way.

“I’m . . . fine. I’m fine.”

“Okay. . . Anyways, I am free. So yeah, I can. My place or yours?”

“Ah, you don’t have a lot of good alcohol,” Sukuna tapped his index finger repeatedly on his chin, as if contemplating which location to use was very difficult for someone like him. “I get bored with just water. So, it’ll have to be mine. ‘Sides, I don’t think Gigi likes me that much anyway.”

You laughed. Sukuna wasn’t very keen on having you tutor him while your apparently “murderous” cat was present. Giselle, also known by her nickname ‘Gigi’, was a black-furred breed, with very sharp, untrimmed nails, which proved useful whenever Sukuna came over to hang out with you or do some other shit. Maybe it was because of how provocative Sukuna and his usual cold demeanor were. Maybe it was because of how close Sukuna got to Gigi’s owner whenever you sat down on the couch together. Maybe it was because of the fact Sukuna took your attention off of your so precious cat whenever he stepped foot into the apartment. Maybe it was because Sukuna was just Sukuna. And Gigi didn’t like that one bit.

“Alright, since you’re afraid of a mere feline, which — mind you, is less than a quarter of both your height and size.”

“Well, that feline comes from the depths of Hell. So yeah, excuse me if I prefer to stay sixty miles away from it.”

“Gigi comes from Hell, now? Pfft—she’s probably just excited to see her previous neighbor, then,” you snorted.

Sukuna gave you a side glance, hiding his growing grin. He was not about to openly admit you were even slightly funny. No, he would never give you that kind of satisfaction.

“Okay, so can you tell me what the variable ‘d’ is?” You had explained the formulas as best as you could, even taking it a step further and dumbing it down immensely. Then you left the living room to put away the dishes, leaving the pink-haired male to attempt his assignment on his own. — With some guidance here and there.

Sukuna and you had ordered Chinese, deciding to study while eating. And while your plan for energizing proved to be frustrating at first — since a certain someone didn’t know how to eat with his mouth closed, you had become used to it by the end. Your tactic? Drowning out the audible chewing noises. Eugh.

“Why don’t you come over here, and I’ll show you.” Sukuna leaned his head on the cushions, wrapping an arm around the back of the sofa.

You scrunched up your face in reply, pausing in the middle of scrubbing food and gunk and whatever off of the porcelain plates. “Pass.

“I told you already, Sukuna. The exponential functions are the ones that slowly curve up; think of it as this: good things happen to a bad thing. Get it? Like, their lives are getting better. And, since I know you’ve already forgotten, a ‘y’ value can have as many ‘x’ values, but the ‘x’ value is . . . unambiguous, so it only has one ‘y’ value. Now, does that help?”

“Ugh, this is such a bore. How can anyone pay attention to these types of things long enough in class to be good at it? Fuck.”

You took his consequent silence as him giving up on life and continuing to work on solving the problem in his evident misery, but oh, how wrong you were.

“S’kuna, what are you doing?” you sucked in a breath. He was so close. So close, to you. You thought it had only been two seconds, but in those two seconds, it only took Ryomen Sukuna four easy strides to end up here. — With his chest pressed almost right up against your back. Key word: almost. Yes, Ryomen Sukuna was so close, but still, so far.

“Helping you.” God, did he have to be that ambiguous all the time? He was like a walking enigma, a puzzle, a riddle, for you to solve. A mystery for which you would soon lose sleep over.

Sukuna easily grabbed several dried plates, removing them from the rack, and storing them in the cabinet above your head. His hand left lingering touches on your arm as they passed by each other. You slowly, gradually, accumulated a mountain of goosebumps.

It was infuriating.

He was so close, but not close enough.

Every time he moved to grab another plate, he would rest his hand upon your hip or on the curve of your waist. Sometimes he ran his large-scaled hands up your middle; sometimes he moved them lower, and lower. Was he trying to give you heart palpitations?

“Y’know,” he started, his voice dripping with honey, “you can keep breathing, right? What, do I smell that bad?” he snickered.

“I—what—why—what the hell are you doing?” You wanted to argue that he had no sense of personal space, which, yes, was true, but you feared he would stop whatever he was doing at the moment. And, you didn’t want that.

“I’m . . . helping . . . you.” He bent down to your level, lips brushing your ear as he spoke, and his hot breath fanning your ear.

There it was again. That ‘pausing thing’ of his. But, this time, it was different. Earlier he was pausing as if he was unsure, but now, he was pausing just to create suspense and further rile you up. He clearly knew what he was doing; he knew what he was doing to you. Poor ol’ you, who just innocently wanted to wash some dishes.

You had previously wanted to turn around and properly face him in order to confront him better, but now, you didn’t dare meet his eyes. Not like you could, anyway, you were stuck between the counter and him. Your eyelashes fluttered, as your eyes darted here and there. And your palms began to sweat, you quickly wiped them on the material of your sweater, but your continued attempts were futile.

“No—no, you’re not.” You struggled to stifle your heavy breathing, and it took you quite a time to form a sentence without giving away the tight feeling in your chest.

“Yeah? Then, how could I help you, hm? Tell me,” he spoke your name firmly, like he was anticipating your breaking, and egging you on nevertheless. Then again, how could he not be? It had been days, days, since you two went to that game. Days since he felt like he was in heaven and talking to an angel. Days since he felt your lips on his. Days since he felt well. Days. And for days, he’s been restless, hungry, thirsty, empty. Hell, forget about your predicament, he was the one close to breaking.

“Tell me,” he said your name, again. “Tell me, pretty girl. Tell me.”

“. . .You can help by telling me what the fuck we’re doing right now.”

“Don’t you already know? And here, I thought it was obvious.” Sukuna bit his lip, but that didn’t help any bit in suppressing his laugh.

“What . . . are we . . . doing?” You repeated.

Sukuna was silent, for a moment, “You’re tutoring me, on math.”

“I already know that, dumbass. I mean, what are we doing?”

“You’re gonna need to be a little more specific than that.”

“Oh, my God—what are we doing? What are we? For fuck’s sake. How thick is your skull really, damn.” You finally mustered the courage to twist your body around, and though you were only met with his chest, you sighed and looked upward to meet his face.

“That’s a little harsh.”

You glowered at Sukuna.

“Okay, okay. I’ll talk,” he cleared his throat. “We’re . . . just us. I don’t know what to tell you. Sukuna and you. You and Sukuna. That’s all there is to it, right?”

For a second, you thought he was referencing what you had previously said to Nobara, but then the rational side of your brain kicked in and said, “No, there’s no way he could’ve overhead that,” and so, the surprised expression disappeared from your face as you looked down at the floor of the kitchen.

“We’re friends, yeah, that’s all there is to it. . . But friends don’t do . . . this. So we clearly, definitely, shouldn’t be doing this.”

“So, we can pretend we’re not doing this, right? There, fixed the problem.”

“And if I don’t want to pretend we’re not doing this?”

“Then don’t; we don’t have to pretend.”

“But—”

“Please,” he looked at you with such an earnest expression on his features, “don’t say that word. Not again. You’ve no idea, no idea, how much it drives me crazy when you say that word. Mad, insane, deranged. Anything but that, please, anything. We’re clearly not friends. We’re clearly not just friends. So please, don’t call whatever we have as that. I’m sick of it.”

“If we’re not friends, then, what are we?” Your voice was just above a whisper, and you couldn’t even recall when it turned out that way.

“. . .We’re whatever you want us to be. . . What do you want us to be?”

“No, you decide, Sukuna. What do you want us to be?” You gingerly laid a palm on top of his chest.

“I decide?”

You nodded, “Whatever you want to be . . . will be.”

“I want us to be . . . us. Together. Just us. No one else; just you and me.”

“Okay. I’d like that.”

He took your hand from his chest and held it in his, as if in a way to seal his promise. “I’m glad.”

Having had a couple beers — in favor of Sukuna giving up on attempting any more math, you were a little drunk. Just a little.

“You have a stupid, stupid face, but it’s still my favorite. It’s my favorite to stare out. It’s my favorite to kiss. It’s my favorite to rub — your skin is so soft. It’s my favorite. My favorite.”

He let you pepper as many pecks as you wanted onto his cheek, but when you tried to give Sukuna a proper kiss on the lips, he quickly moved his face to the side so you unintentionally planted your lips on his cheek instead.

For, he didn’t want you to freak out in the morning and think he was the type of guy to take advantage of someone while they were even a little bit tipsy.

Besides, he had just gotten you. He couldn’t lose you now, could he.

A/N: i love portraying raw emotion

#my writing is HEAVY on stylistic choice #so it can be quite hard to read at times #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryomen x reader #ryomen x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna fluff #i think???

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