turns out i always fall for the “doomed by the narrative, queercoded, in love with my best friend” blond guys
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Save Faerun later. Karlach now
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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When a person belonging to a minority group says or does something bad, you are, of course, free to criticize them. But it still does not give you the right to be a bigot. Noah Schnapp sharing stupid, careless, and uninformed geopolitical opinions deserves to be called out, but it does not mean that you suddenly get to tell him that he should have been gassed by Hitler or killed by anti-Jewish hate groups or terrorists — both things I've read on Twitter and on Tumblr. It does not justify you calling him homophobic or antisemitic slurs.
"But he deserves it!" you argue. First of all, why do you think so? What makes it okay for any person to be given the green signal to get called slurs, or have people advocate for them to get hatecrimed? And more importantly, you are only signaling to your Jewish friends that you are actually capable of antisemitism. Same thing goes with your queer friends, or any friends belonging to a minority group. When you justify one form of bigotry, even to just one person — you justify all forms of bigotry.
So if you find yourself doing any of these, ask yourself why it's so easy to slip into bigoted rhetoric instead of simply focusing your criticism on what a person did/said.
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