#wei wuxian: im sorry you’re a WHAT
Note
seeing all these posts in canon jc tag saying how jc did better than madam yu ... pretty sure madam yu never hit jc (did she? if im wrong tell me xd but still he'd be the same if she did cuz he hits jin ling in anger multiple times), or expose him to herself torturing innocent people to death so much that jc would be used to smuggling them out... yea jin ling and his relationship turned out better no thanks to him tho, jin ling got lucky to be more jin than jiang tbh cuz majority of his time would be at the sect he's heir of and jc does love jin ling unconditionally but madam yu in all her abusive glory also loved jc unconditionally, like jc was willing to die for jin ling, madam yu was willing to die for him too, that aint undoing the harm the two adults ended up doing to the two kids in the scenario at least in the emotional sense, and aint no way ppl are saying hes doing better than her, hes at least on the same level in lack of affection cuz jin ling was so unused to being even hugged or how to handle a hug the barest of affections jin ling turned out better and grew purely on his own effort coz jc sure wasnt setting any positive examples for him-
It seems to be implied that Madam Yu herself has no issue getting physically harsh with either of her own children as well,
1:
Madam Yu sent a look at Jiang Cheng. “Horsing around again? Come, let me have a look at you.”
Jiang Cheng scurried over, and Madam Yu squeezed his arm with her slender fingers before giving him a sound slap on the shoulder.
"Not a bit of progress in your cultivation. You’re almost seventeen and still acting like an ignorant child! Running around with this lot, doing mischief all day—do you think you’re the same as them? Hell knows which gutters they’ll be crawling in in the future, but you’ll be the leader of the Jiang Clan!”
Jiang Cheng staggered from the force of her slap. He hung his head, not daring to argue back.
2:
"Sorry!” said Wei Wuxian loudly. “I didn’t know shijie would come! I’ll go look for my clothes right now!”
Madam Yu was even more incensed. “You dare run from me?! Get the hell back here and kneel!”
As she spoke, she cracked her whip. A searing pain spread down Wei Wuxian’s back.
"Yowch!” he exclaimed aloud. The pain was so intense it almost sent him rolling on the ground.
Just then, Madam Yu heard a soft voice ask, “Mom, do you want some watermelon…?”
Jiang Yanli’s sudden appearance startled Madam Yu. With this delay, the group of little brats had vanished without a trace. Madam Yu was so infuriated she turned to pinch Jiang Yanli’s cheeks.
Eat, eat, eat. That’s all you know!”
The pinch made Jiang Yanli’s eyes water. Vaguely, she said, “Mom. A-Xian and the rest were hiding here to cool off. I came looking for them on my own, so don’t blame them… Do…do you want some watermelons…? I don’t know who sent them over, but they’re very sweet. Eating watermelon in summer can relieve the heat and quench your fire. They’re sweet and juicy. I’ll slice some for you…”
Violence seems to be an unfortunate overarching theme regarding the Jiang Family and how they exhibit any emotional behavior. Madam Yu each time she is on page is the main instigator of physical punishments and pain out of anger, Jiang Cheng seeing her as his own role model follows this same pattern with Jin Ling. The above passage of Madam Yu'a introduction as a parental figure and Jiang Cheng is terribly similar to what we get for Jiang Cheng's introduction as Jin Ling's uncle and a caretaker,
"Since Hanguang-jun wants to punish you, take the lesson this once. It’s not easy for him, either, to manage the juniors from another clan.”
His tone was sarcastic, but it was unclear to whom it was directed. Lan Wangji, who never responded to such provocation, ignored him.
Jiang Cheng turned, his voice scathing. “What are you standing around for? Waiting for the prey to run into your sword itself? If you can’t catch the creature here on Mount Dafan tonight, then you needn’t come to me again in the future!"
And to answer the main point of your ask, no, Jiang Cheng is not any better towards Jin Ling and how he treats him. He treats him exactly as Madam Yu did with Jiang Cheng. With cruel ever changing expectations that were too high for a child to ever be reasonably expected to achieve without help or the care that should have been exhibited to raise a confident child. Jiang Cheng took the role of his mother in all ways and superimposed his life onto Jin Ling as well. Generational trauma is not always easy to of course pick up when you have grown within that environment. Yes you may know something is not "normal" as you interact with others but it's hard to name or describe why. Jiang Cheng thought of his mother respectfully despite her own many flaws, generational deference is difficult to question when that is all you have known until you are in a better environment to explore and comfortably learn despite being less than grand in execution. Jiang Cheng did not get that chance in life, but he does finally let Jin Ling have that as Jin Ling seeks out Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji for nighthunts to learn from.
Unconditional love isn't always a saving grace, and that is an unfortunate reality of life that not all love is always good or healthy despite how very much you love them or each other. Unconditional love can be selfish cruel and hurtful in the ways that people choose to express it when they don't want to be better for their loved ones. The play of trauma and victim blaming is terrible when you are both the abuser and victim and continue that cycle.
The only thing that Jiang Cheng "did better" than Madam Yu, was living to let go of his hates and insecurities enough to stop imposing them on to Jin Ling as well so the child could grow better and with actual role models that encourage a nurturing non-mocking environment first and foremost.
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#you dare to argue that this is just how ethnic mothers show love#I will fucking manifest in your house in the middle of the night to bite your head off#fuck madam yu#canon jiang cheng#jin ling
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Hii, so, I have three questions, first of all, how are you?? I hope you’re having the coolest, coziest most fantastic and exquisite day, u deserve it, secondly, sorry if you’ve already talked about it but may I know who is Jin Mingyu? Is it a OC? Would you like to tell us about them?? (I love the design, 10/10 as always) And lastly, idk, drink water, can’t really remember the last question habfbsbf
Keep being a great artist, mwuah
well to be honest im doing quite. bad. 2023 has been an absolute shit year. thank u for asking tho! appreciate it <3
jin mingyu is my mdzs oc! he is a bastard of jin guangshan, and a genuinely bad person. rest under the cut
not really sure what his moms situation was tbh but im thinking they werent dirt poor but they certainly werent well off either. perhaps they owned an inn or something and she was waitressing there for her family. WHO IS TO SAY.
either way im thinking his mom was lucky in that her family didnt shun her for having a child out of wedlock. they werent exactly happy with her but they understood the situation as it was, yknow.
so his childhood was pretty alright. he joined a minor sect young, and was there for a few years. during that time with the minor sect he deduced he was a jin bastard.
then sunshot campaign and all that jazz happens and he learns of wei wuxian. hes immediately ... intrigued, taken, fascinated... he leaves the sect and starts getting into demonic cultivation. and he finds hes pretty good at it... he starts using his sword from the sect less and less, and starts using hidden daggers and throwing knives.
then yiling patriarch era, he's even more taken with wei wuxian and what he hears of him.
jin mingyu was slowly building a demonic cultivation gang in the years after the sunshot campaign, which he's still leading presently (post-novel)
hes highly intelligent, charismatic, cunning and ruthless. incredibly self assured, confident and secure in himself. he has a way with people and hes a natural leader. but he also lacks empathy/sympathy for other people and is only motivated by self interest.
he can be playful and he enjoys playing with, and taunting his opponents. however he prefers to let others do the fighting for him.
hes cruel and petty, and especially towards jin cultivators.
he will occasionally take trophies from his victims. (the big golden jin robe is one such trophy)
he also plays cat and mouse with jiang cheng. to jin mingyu, its a game. to jiang cheng, its deadly serious. if jiang cheng catches him, he WILL kill jin mingyu.
hes roughly 5 or so years younger than jiang cheng. hes 165cm or approximately 5'5
#asks#mdzs oc#jin mingyu#THANK U FOR ASKING ABT MY OC YIPPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#me: what if i made jgy. but Worse.
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I want to learn how to make edits because I have a list of Lana del Rey songs for every couple that I ship on the mxtx universe (and also for characters alone) but I don’t even know how to start… 🫠🫠
(I already edited before but only some silly things 😭😭)
List of the couples here if anyone is interested:
- HuaLian: Young and Beautiful (Classic, romantic, them)
-Wangxian: Summetime sadness (pls don’t kill me)
-Bingqiu: ArtDeco (like… the vibe?? Just-)
-Moshang: Playing Dangerous (For me, Sqh flirting is something like this -when he’s not afraid ofc)
-Beefleaf: Freak (trust meeee)
-YinZhen: Sad Girl (I’m not afraid to speak the word!!)
-XueXiao: Dark Paradise (Literally died for then, my Roman Empire)
-YueJiu: Cinnamon Girl (the definition of deserved better)
-FengQing: Diet Mountain Dew (THEM. JUST THEM.)
-Bingjiu: Ultraviolence (Got the hots for them but they also deserved better, to god -mxtx- they weren’t her favorite at all lol)
-JunMei: Fishtail (“this is an work of art” seriously, the “You’ll braid my hair” is literally how I envision them in the future, healing, together)
-Niecest: Lust for life (Like you heard that??? The “but my boyfriend’s back… and he’s cooler than ever…” - You cannot convince me otherwise it isn’t them!!!!)
List for the characters:
Binghe: Jealous girl (he was the easiest one for me and I don’t have to explain myself… BE AGGRESSIVE BE- )
Hua Cheng: Cherry (It just reminds me of him!! He really does fall to pieces many times on the story, literally, psychologically and emotionally, in good and bad ways…)
Lan Wangji: Serial killer/Happiness is a butterfly (Suprised for the first one?? Well, for me it’s about the intensity in his love, the type of doing anything and everything for the one he loves… I swear he’s just so dramatic and its just captures his teen phase of ‘first love and I don’t know what to do about it so I’ll just fantasy’ About the second… His time with his love in the first live was short and not completely well lived with so much problems and yet, and yet… he found happiness, also the “if he’s a serial killer than what’s the worst” just fits with the fact that he did in fact tried to save Wwx even against all the things others talked about him, regardless of the truth, he does what he needs to for who he needs… “Looking into his eyes I think he’s already hurt” IM SO SORRY I CANT LIE)
Shen Jiu: Born to die (like I’m not even trying to hurt anyone here but I know it hurts…)
Shen Qingqiu: Doin Time (Why?? Like, “the living is ease” vibe and the sudden “I’ve come to tell you that she’s evil” just reminds me to much of the fact that he’s the “villain”!! And I just imagined the “Louie” in the song as Sqh so much anyway)
Xie Lian: Brooklyn Baby (I don’t think I have to explain this one also right… the fans go “Yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool… but he’s not as cool as me…” and also, “Baby I’m a gangsta too and takes two the tango” gets me thinking of two different sceneries, a dance with Hua Cheng as his flower and a dance with words representing his martial god nature)
Wei Wuxian: Salvatore (Salvatore is just him, really, the vibe of, like, even if you’re being murdered, you’re smiling and you’re smiling cause you know that, some way, you’ve just fucking won, of being on a serious situation and taking it lightly because is just his way to do things but at same time not as a mockery or a joke to all the suffering, the pain, but rather, an acceptance with a smile… oh gosh what a ride)
Mobei Jun: Black Beauty (like referring to a cold, untouchable beauty like himself, because honestly, life is beautiful but it took a while for him to see the colors but he managed to find his light, or, his “sparrow blue”…)
Shan Qinghua: Meet me at the pale moonlight (I swear, even if doesn’t make sense, for me, his “pale moonlight” is Mobei Jun… but seriously?? The “I’m the sweetest girl in town so why are you so mean?” part FR FR WTH that’s his life you’re singing about Lana)
Xue Yang: Blue Jeans (“Love’s mean… and love hurts” to “I’ll love till the end of times… I’ll wait a million years” is honestly just what he did and also that slightly possessive part “promise you’ll remember that you’re mine” inspired by his insecurities and regrets, only because he was afraid to lose him… couldn’t get any sadder)
Xiao Xingchen: Margaret (In another word yes, yes it could get sadder… He’s just so good… “It kind makes me laugh”, Ah I just keep reminding that scene where he’s with XY, laughing because he’s the easy laugh type of person… And also the “the soul that you bring to the table” I just like to interpret that in a way that he made a family out a villain and homeless distrusting girl and that the “soul” spoken off on the song it’s theirs, how they find “soul” in there, in themselves, in each other…)
Anyway
…Any tips on video edition…? 👀👀
#tgcf#svss#mdzs#hualian#wangxian#bingqiu#moshang#beefleaf#YinZhen#XueXiao#YueJiu#FengQing#BingJiu#junmei#niecest#lana del rey
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Ok opinions on the end of the untamed beyond incoherent screaming
Perfect open-ended conclusion. The right amount of bittersweet but with possibility. Can’t believe the needle they managed to thread there with the censors incredible work round of applause.
Kinda the same as point one but they do an incredible job wrapping up the Wei wuxian Jiang cheng conflict like… nobody is completely in the right nobody is completely in the wrong and at the end of the day no matter how much you wish you could just cut ties and move on you’re permanently linked together. You can’t hate them because you still love them. You can’t love them because you’re still angry. It’s so ugly and it’s so good. That final take care gutted me im bleeding out as we speak
The only woman to survive this show is, at best, a tertiary character. I hate to see it
They should have leaned more into the gothic creepiness of the final arc. Go full necrophilia with jgy and nie mingjue’s head! He’s already so fucked up whats one more violent transgression!
Speaking of gothic that last scene with wwx whistling was soooo creepy i loved it
My actual biggest disappointment was that it’s a cop out to have jgy be the one to actually kill jin xizuhan. Sorry but I think it makes the story less complex and the relationships less interesting if wwx bears no responsibility for that at all! I liked the story better and it hurt worse when wwx did in fact kill his brother in law with friendly fire sorry. I may make a longer post further justifying this I feel v strongly about it
The pacing on this show is horrendous. I’m addicted yes i binged it in 2 weeks yes but that’s despite everything about the show. Why was the climax 5 episodes long and each episode is a different conversation in the same room. Who planned this
Obsessed with the way that all of his fucked up uncles love jin ling so much. Jin guangyao strangling jin ling coming like five minutes after he says with heartbreaking sincerity that one of the worst things his father did to him was keep him from holding baby jin ling. That poor kid suddenly understands the fuckedupness of family relationships on a whole other level after that line
I feel very strongly that there is no way wen ning can possibly have simple uncomplicated entirely positive feelings toward wwx and being resurrected as a zombie like… the themes of consent and autonomy and the number of times someone in this story saves someone they love by warping or imprisoning or violating them… it’s so complex and painful. That said wwx wiping dirt off his zombie’s face like he’s a little kid makes me bawl
I get that it was for dramatic effect that the wen yuan reveal happens in the last episode but seriously lwj what the fuck. Your boyfriend sadly reminisces about a child he loved who’s dead now and you don’t TELL HIM THE KID’S ALIVE?? I get that y’all had a lot going on but what the hell is wrong with your priorities
ALL THIS SAID. I am obsessed I am weeping I have brainworms for life
#shout out to the supernatural of cdramas by which i mean. brainworm inducing <3#this 👌 close to just starting the show over from the beginning im so unwell#the untamed
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Thinking about a three way MXTX crossover, and the difference between the main pairs is so funny??
Shen Qingqiu is a 21st century fanboy who travelled universes and had his life controlled by an all powerful System he doesn’t really understand. And Luo Binghe is a Demon Lord and one of the most powerful people in his universe
Xie Lian is literally a god. Hua Cheng is a Supreme Ghost King and rules over the entire ghost realm (on land). They’re both 800 years old and have made Heaven shake on multiple occassions
Meanwhile Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are just cultivators. Sure, WWX is a demonic cultivator that can control the dead and Lan Wangji is the Chief Cultivator, but in comparison to the other two pairs? Their insane lives are verrrry normal
#wangxian actually get to feel normal for a change shdjsjsk#luo binghe: i’m a Demon Lord don’t fuck with me#hua cheng: that’s cute#xie lian: he’s like a baby version of san lang :’)#hua cheng: gege no#wei wuxian: im sorry you’re a WHAT#my posts#mxtx#svsss#untamed#tgcf
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[Well, apparently I'm incapable of excerpts. Here is a Modern 3zun Raise A-Fu ficlet]
[Modern 3zun tag]
3:06 Wei Wuxian: MMENG YAI
3:06 Wei Wuxian: NENF YAO
3:06 Wei Wuxian: A Y AO
3:07 Wei Wuxian: omfucking god do not leave me hanging this is VITAL
3:07 Wei Wuxian: LIFE OR DEATH
3:07 Wei Wuxian: A - Y A O
3:07 Wei Wuxian: PUCK
3:07 Wei Wuxian: UP
3:07 Wei Wuxian: YOUR
3:07 Wei Wuxian: PH ONE
3:10 Meng Yao: You can’t text me this and call me 7 times with NO VOICEMAIL and then not pick up when I call back.
3:10 Meng Yao: Pick up your phone.
3:10 Meng Yao: If you don’t answer your phone right now, I’m going to assume that whoever is holding you at gunpoint has shot you and I’m going to call the police.
3:11 Meng Yao: I’m giving you a minute.
3:13 Meng Yao: I am dead serious pick up your phone right now
3:13 Meng Yao: I’m calling Xichen.
3:13 Wei Wuxian: ahsdifjasohfjos
3:13 Wei Wuxian: SORRY I LEFT IT IN THE BATHROOM IM NOT DEAD DONT CALL THE POLICE DON’T CALL DA-GE THE HOUSE IS A MESS ID BE SO EMBRAASSED IF HE CAME IN ALL CHIVALROUS TO RESCUE ME AND SAW ME IN ALL MY F I L T H
3:13 Wei Wuxian: but it’s sweet that you care 😘 can you do me a favor?
3:13 Meng Yao: No.
3:13 Wei Wuxian: would you actually be sad if i died? like if someone murdered me? would you cry?
3:15 Wei Wuxian: don’t fucking ignore me you ass you know youd cry
3:15 Wei Wuxian: i brign light to your life
3:17 Wei Wuxian: gegeeee
3:17 Meng Yao: You aren’t saying anything coherent and I have a LIFE, I have a CHILD, I am DOING THINGS
3:17 Wei Wuxian: none of them are as important as taking a pic of a sexy costume when youre at the halloween store so i can pretend i’m buying it so i can send it to lan zhan and bother him at work
3:17 Wei Wuxian: try me. not as important. gaurantee it
3:17 Wei Wuxian: unless its like cpr or something. i’ll give you a pass for that
3:17 Wei Wuxian: ahsdiojsao
3:17 Wei Wuxian: hfaoaosjasljdjdsl
3:18 Wei Wuxian: wioaiosjdjiwoalslfvn
3:18 Wei Wuxian: m
3:18 Wei Wuxian: e
3:18 Wei Wuxian: n
3:18 Wei Wuxian: g
3:18 Wei Wuxian: y
3:19 Wei Wuxian: a
3:19 Wei Wuxian: o
3:19 Wei Wuxian: MENG YAO
3:21 Meng Yao: STOP HARASSING ME
3:21 Wei Wuxian: will you??? you said you were going there today anyway!!!
3:21 Meng Yao: Why would I do anything nice for you after that ⬆
3:21 Wei Wuxian: do it do it do it please i'll kiss your feet
3:21 Meng Yao: Incentives are supposed to be something I WANT.
3:21 Wei Wuxian: you misunderstand 😈 its a threat
3:21 Meng Yao: I need you to perish immediately
3:22 Wei Wuxian: jaiosdjiojagja PLEASE YAOYAO ILU
3:25 Meng Yao: >sent 122_p39477.jpeg
3:25 Wei Wuxian: HOLY SHIT YOU’RE THE BEST HELL YEAH SEXY NURSE
3:25 Wei Wuxian: HOW DID YOU GET THERE SO FAST???? or did you have this saved already? 😏 oooo
3:25 Meng Yao: >sent 248_p5423.jpeg
3:26 Wei Wuxian: omfg FUFU HE’S SO CUTE!!! i’m saving this. how lucky you were there alreadyy 😉 did you get the cat ears, is he gonna be a cat?
3:25 Wei Wuxian: actually can you send one where you can’t see your hand? lan zhan can tell
3:27 Meng Yao: >sent 096_p3982.jpeg
3:27 Wei Wuxian: dunno what about ‘not your hand’ meant ‘middle finger’ to you but try again, i believe in you, bb 😘
3:27 Meng Yao: >sent 298_p9231.jpeg
3:27 Meng Yao: That’s you.
3:28 Wei Wuxian: wow rude, i have FAR more charisma than a spirit halloween zombie decoration thanks
3:28 Wei Wuxian: i bet he has a flat ass. shrivelled dick.
3:29 Meng Yao: Never speak to me again.
3:29 Wei Wuxian: 😂😂😘
#heavily inspired by the text conversations in Meng Yao vs. the Home Owner's Association and HALLOWEEN#I might do more Halloween bits because they're cute and I have ideas but for now we have this#modern 3zun#my stuff#my fic#wwx#jgy#Text convos are fun but formatting is a nightmare
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midnight sun [snippet 14], following [10]
*aka the reveal scene y'all are probably waiting for, sorry it doesn't live up to expectation, lol im v tired*
↦
Lan Wangji used to have a dream, a repeating one. Nothing much happened in it, except he was back in the cave at the Burial Mount. It was how he remembered it before the Siege of Nevernight and the subsequent raid. Wei Ying was always there, perched on that slab of rock she claimed as bed. Lan Wangji knew she wasn't real. There was nothing in this world that could make him forget the terror of her wrenching herself from his grip and falling into the molten chasm. Yet there she was, sitting cross-legs on that rock, smiling at him, always smiling, as though she hadn't died violently and alone.
L-Lan Zhan - Lan Z-Zhan - Lan Zh-an -
He had never been able to discern what it was that she had tried to tell him...
Now, he finally knew, knew that he'd been fooled - no - that he'd been a fool.
Such a fool.
~~~
Everything happened slowly and all at once.
Yan'er!
Wei Wuxian shoved aside the arm Lan Wangji had raised to shield her from the blast of Jiang Yan's spiritual rage colliding with his xiongzhang's Shuoyue.
Lan Wangji watched, transfixed and horrified, as Wei Wuxian swept across the temple, a torrent of black cloth and dark unbound hair like demonic smoke coalescing around the girl curled on the ground.
The temple darkened. Shadows seemed to be drawn in to Wei Wuxian by a force unseen, and the epicenter of her being emanated a quiet eerie darkness that choked out any light. She gathered Jiang Yan from the ground and cradled the girl in her arms. Her eyes were red when she lifted them to cast a murderous glare upon Lan Xichen.
"Wei-gu'niang, I -" The master of Gusu Lan stumbled back half a step, horrified at what he'd inadvertently done and at the silent threat in those blood red eyes. "Is she - I did not mean to -"
Jiang Yan coughed abruptly, breaking the tension and jolting her mother's attention back to her. Rapidly, the demonic red faded from Wei Wuxian's eyes.
"Yan'er, Yueqian, you're all right; you're alright, just breathe."
Jiang Yan twisted and arched, pulling in several stridorous breath as she fought to quell the erratic torrents of qi flooding her meridians. Her gaze fleeted about, left and right, disoriented by the impact of her earlier rebound, until she focused in on the face in front of her, peering down in distress.
"You're alright, yatou. You're safe." (yatou = 丫头, girlie, lassie, can be an endearment term for girls)
For a minute Jiang Yan did nothing but stare up unblinkingly. She opened her mouth, teeth still rust-stained from the blood she'd spat up, but no sound came out. Then, all at once, she seemed to let go. Colour returned to her cheeks, overtaking her from collar to crown and drawing a shimmer to her eyes that Wei Wuxian realized, belatedly, was the refraction of candlelight through tears.
"阿娘。" A-niang.
"哎- 哎，好孩子，我的好孩子，我是你阿娘。这么些年，是我对不起你。是阿娘的错，都是阿娘的错。" Y-yes, good child, my good child, I am your mother. All these years, I've let you down. It's my fault. All my fault.
"阿娘，曕儿好想你。" A-niang, Yan'er missed you so much.
It need not be said that Jiang Yan could not conceivably have missed Wei Wuxian as she was, having never known her or known of her. Nevertheless, no one in that temple questioned the sentiment behind those earnest, innocent words. It was most natural, the longing of a child for the mother who must've have existed to bring her into this world but did not have the fortune to remain in it long enough for them to meet.
"A-niang, I feel...strange."
Wei Wuxian smiled. "I know, the feeling will pass. You'll be alright. Close your eyes, Yan'er, you need to rest."
Jiang Yan hesitated. "You won't leave? I still have so many things I wish to tell you. Promise, you won't leave?"
"I won't leave," promised Wei Wuxian, passing a hand gently across Jiang Yan's temple and leaving a glowing red talisman in its wake, which sunk softly into her daughter's skin. "Sleep."
Trusting, Jiang Yan smiled and grew still. Her breathing evened, and her head lulled to the side.
Across the temple, still reeling from the revelation, Lan Wangji struggled to his feet.
"Wei Ying -"
But he was not the only one. A sharp swoosh was all the warning there was before Sandu's blade edge swung beneath his chin.
"Jiang Cheng!"
"Jiang-zongzhu!"
"Jiang-xiong! " No one noticed when Nie Huaisang had awakened amidst the commotion.
Lan Wangji turned slowly to Jiang Wanyin and faced the man who had raised his daughter in his stead. In doing so, he had kept her identity hidden from the world.
Lan Wangji didn't know whether to thank him or hate him.
For thirteen years he had mistakenly believed that it was Jiang Wanyin who'd betrayed Wei Wuxian the most. He couldn't understand how anyone could do to the mother of their child what Jiang Wanyin did to Wei Ying at Nevernight. Especially yesterday, when Wen Ning had revealed the truth about his golden core, Lan Wangji had nearly been driven to murder by his fury. To think Wei Ying had given Jiang Wanyin everything she had, had hollowed herself out in more ways than one, and yet he had turned his back on her and treated her to the point of his sword.
Lan Wangji wanted him dead, had wanted him dead for so long. But he held back, employing his churlish silence and his spite as his only weapons of offense, not only because slaying a sect master would be an open declaration of war between their clans but because he could not deprive Wei Ying's only child of the one last parent she had left in this world. So many times he thought about telling her the truth, about how Jiang Wanyin had been the one to murder her mother, but what would that achieve but cause her more misery? She was happy as she was, living in her blessed ignorance, and because she could not hate Jiang Wanyin, Lan Wangji would hate him on her behalf.
But now, after the truth had been revealed and exposed to him every misconception and false notion he had stored like festering pus in his heart, he realized that the hatred that he felt must surely have been mutual.
"You don't get to speak to her, you faithless bastard." Jiang Wanyin cursed through grounded teeth. He glanced at Lan Xichen. "Zewu-jun, is this the true face of Gusu Lan? Hypocrites and liars who either uses and abandons or steadfastly defends a wretched creature beyond redemption at the expense of one of your own. Even if you do not recognize her as so, Yan'er is your niece!! She shares your blood!! How could you hurt her?!"
Lan Xichen had gone bloodless. Sweat dripped from his chin. His hands shook. "Jiang-zongzu, I - I did not know - I swear I did not mean - "
"Did not know?" Jiang Cheng laughed. "You think this matter can settled, can excused, if you simply exclaim ignorance?! What your perfect, honourable brother did to my sister, the absolute wretched state he had left her in after he violated her virtue - "
"A-CHENG!" Wei Wuxian yelled, head bowed and unable to look at any of them. "It's all the past; what's done is done. Stop, just stop -"
"I will NOT stop!" Jiang Cheng snapped back. "I've waited fourteen years for this moment. You may not care about yourself, Wei Wuxian, but you're of Yunmeng Jiang." He turned back to the younger of the Lan brothers, and continued through barely concealed malevolence, "What Lan Wangji owes you, owes Yan'er, I will make him pay."
[tbh]
#cql#the untamed#wangxian#midnight sun#lanyan#fem!wwx#cursed au#okay it's cursed#very very crused#corie fics#cql ficlet#apologies for any spelling or grammar erros#we don't proofread in this house#we die like lwj is about to be trottled by jc
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xiyao clowning on wwx is so funny, like I support you so much in this but also are you really the ones to judge,, and yet
jin ‘wait a moment i thought you were gay aren’t you gay for each other’ guangyao
also jin ‘okay you are you’re just slow’ guangyao
who knows whether wwx is right or whether (far far more likely) jgy just Knows but ‘lan xichen told him’ imagine them just taking time to gossip about wangxian’s sleeping arrangements??? im just
“you two really do talk about anything and everything” wow you’re so right wei wuxian
lan ‘this is no joke you better be treating my little brother right’ xichen
wwx: hey have you forgotten we kind of have deal with this whole massive conspiracy; lxc: sorry yeah you’re right; jgy: no no you’re not getting out of this so easily what happened; wwx: DON’T YOU HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS
“aren’t you a chatty one” are you one to talk wwx
jgy is of course a stranger to yearning
“i just had to comment”
lxc is impatient,, even jgy has gotten invested in this relationship drama,,, please spare them
xiyao @ this drama
and then it’s just,,
,, both of them going,,, what is this,, what, they’re both just so confused
#if lxc really DID tell jgy it's actually funnier timing wise because it must have been post koi tower confrontation#like how did this come up; jgy has already kidnapped lxc and lxc is like 'the trust is broken but i NEED to talk to someone about this'#i'm not going to do a close read of each scene i swear but this is still more funny than sad#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#jin guangyao#lan xichen#xiyao#no i'm sorry but wwx thinks lan xichen told jin guangyao they only ever sleep in one room?? what why how#mdzs#leela reads mdzs#demonic cultivation for pros
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Hey! Im currently re-watching ep27-28 and it just hit me that Yanli was actually gonna go with jc to the burial mounds until two pretty eyes convinced her not to (can’t help my disappointment about that but i also very reluctantly kinda understand why), and i was wondering if you think the argument between wwx and jc and just in general the whole visit would have gone differently with her there?
okay whoa, so I completely forgot that this conversation between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli existed? but anon you’re absolutely right in that Jiang Yanli was 100% about to go with Jiang Cheng to the Burial Mounds to talk to Wei Wuxian before she got distracted by a pair of pretty eyes
Jin Zixuan is “out for a walk,” a walk that takes him right up to Jiang Yanli’s door, but he can’t bring himself to knock. Just as he walks away, Jiang Yanli opens her door and sees him standing right there. They greet each other, exquisitely, excruciatingly courteous
She says I still need to go find my little brother (ambiguous, she does have two little brothers), but then Jin Zixuan immediately makes the jump to Wei Wuxian, saying I understand today’s affairs; but these are the actions of Wei Wuxian alone --
Jiang Yanli cuts him off -- she’s had this conversation already, made it extremely clear that no one will be coming between her and Wei Wuxian. She uses her most effective weapon (courtesy, and the devastating knowledge of how to deploy it) to push away Jin Zixuan -- I’m terribly sorry that this affair implicates you -- tomorrow, Jiang Cheng and I will leave Jinlintai.
Jin Zixuan, beloved disaster het, immediately panics -- you’re leaving? where are you going? are you going to the Burial Mounds? And then finally -- can you not go? and from there on we’re all aboard the good ship Xuanli.
but what this does, unexpectedly, is contextualize Jiang Cheng in this scene (and the next):
everyone Jiang Cheng has left is leaving him in one way or another, and honestly that’s very rude
in the conversation Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian have, watching the Wen refugees cobble together a livable space in the Burial Mounds, every other question out of Jiang Cheng is a variation on the same: are you coming home?
why are you staying here?
why aren’t you coming back with me?
He tries: can people even live in this cursed land? only to have Wei Wuxian respond I lived here for three months.
He tries: you’re not coming back to Lotus Pier? only for Wei Wuxian to mischievously offer to sneak back whenever -- but not come back properly.
He watches Wei Wuxian chide A-Yuan, and sees the family Wei Wuxian has left him for, just as Jiang Yanli leaves his side to start a new one with Jin Zixuan.
In the cave, Jiang Cheng stands over Wen Ning’s body and tries desperately to convince Wei Wuxian that this younger brother still needs him, don’t go adopting other ones you can’t take care of --
man oh man, that scene is hard to watch because Jiang Cheng’s words are caustic, barbed, as they always are, but his face is all raw wound, open concern, begging for Wei Wuxian to come back to him. And Wei Wuxian, always moving, always shifting in a conversation, looking away, looking down, but never looking at Jiang Cheng at the right moment, hears only yin iron, puppets, you have no chance of success.
And Wei Wuxian, who says I’ll be the precedent, I am the master of my heart, I’ll be the prodigy, immediately shutters off behind his facade of arrogance and hurt.
I won’t be able to protect you, Jiang Cheng says, tears in his eyes.
Then give it up, Wei Wuxian says, turning away.
Because Wei Wuxian thinks of himself as a burden, a chain of implication -- cutting himself off from Yunmeng Jiang is a kindness, one last gift. But what Jiang Cheng hears is Wei Wuxian rejecting his offer, his best effort at protecting his brother. What Jiang Cheng hears is that he is not enough of a reason for Wei Wuxian to come back home.
If Jiang Yanli were here, how much of this scene would change? ...gosh, a great deal, I should think. Jiang Yanli would arrive at the top of the mountain, picking her way carefully over gnarled tree roots and exposed bone, and upon seeing the Wen refugees, immediately start planning how she’s going to lean on Jin Zixuan to make him pay for some good farming implements, some shipments of seeds for sowing. She has connections to two major cultivation sects, and you absolutely bet that she’d lean on them both. A-Cheng, she’d say, and get no further because Jiang Cheng would grumble but already be ahead of her in redrawing the Jiang Sect budget. Jin Zixuan would ask her what she wants -- a new comb? a hairpiece of pure gold? -- and she’d just sigh, gaze wistfully out the window, go those Wen refugees don’t even have winter clothes and Jin Zixuan will swoon, like my beloved is so kindhearted and good, I will immediately divert three caravans of the finest silk to Yiling and Jiang Yanli will have to gently inform him that silk is not good winter clothing material.
Look, you can’t tell me that Jiang Yanli, who accompanied the Sunshot Campaign as a medic, who narrowly escaped the massacre of her own clan, would look at the plight of the Wen refugees and turn a blind eye.
When Wei Wuxian brings up the debt they owe to Wen Qing and Wen Ning, Jiang Cheng weighs it against Wei Wuxian’s life and finds one of them heavier because he’s a Slytherin primary what memories he has of that time they spent hiding in Yiling is colored with twice the amount of tragedy as the memories Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli have. All of them lost a family, a home; Jiang Cheng lost himself. Wei Wuxian spent that time wide awake, desperate, searching for a solution that only Wen Qing could deliver; Jiang Cheng spent much of that time bedridden, despairing, wishing for the simplicity of death rather than the impossible burden of vengeance that came with a life he didn’t want to keep living.
What I’m trying to say is that it makes a sobering amount of sense, why Jiang Cheng is more willing than Wei Wuxian to let any reminders, any remnants of the worst time in both their lives die away.
But Jiang Yanli knows better. Jiang Yanli wasn’t bedridden for those days, weeks (months?) spent hiding in the Yiling Supervisory Office; Jiang Yanli clearly saw the risks the Wen siblings took in protecting the two of them. Jiang Yanli would never make the argument to Wei Wuxian that this is a debt that can remain unpaid.
I think it’s significant that, for these next few months, Wei Wuxian is trapped in the depths of poverty, eking out an existence from untilled soil and market haggling, whereas Jiang Yanli is swaddled with luxury and comfort, all the best parts of Lanling Jin laid out at her feet. This isn’t a moral judgment of any kind, just pointing out that the situations of other people feel remote from your own lived experience on a good day, but when there’s this 天差地别 vast gulf between Jiang Yanli’s lived experience and Wei Wuxian’s daily reality, I can understand why Jiang Yanli might not think as deeply about Wei Wuxian. She’s adjusting to life away from home; homesickness; this new, fragile, wonderful thing between her and Jin Zixuan; learning the ins-and-outs of the complicated relationships between all of her in-laws.
Both she and Wei Wuxian miss home desperately. Both of them search for Lotus Pier in the space around them, and both of them get one in the form of the smallest lotus pond. They’re small, they’re still tenuous, but they were built with love and care.
What I’m trying to say is that Jiang Yanli has a lot going on her life, and the fact that she never set foot in the Burial Mounds makes Wei Wuxian that much more remote. She doesn’t give up on him -- she’ll never give up on him, not even when the murder of her husband has been pinned on his shoulders -- but he’s just... farther away. Farther from thought. Farther from mind.
#tl;dr yes anon I think things would have changed#Jiang Yanli#Jiang Cheng#wei wuxian#ask and ye shall receive#ep 27#ep 28#tonight we're having an unexpected number of feelings about Jiang Cheng#and you know what that's just fine
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It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that A-Yuan thinks he’s a rabbit, or Jiang Cheng’s fault that toddler Jin Ling used to Zidian to short out the city’s power grid, or Xue Yang’s fault that little A-Qing was strapped to his chest during a motorcycle joyride down the highway, but they are stuck going to family counseling, along with a bored Lan Wangji, a giggly Xiao Xingchen, an out-to-lunch Lan Xichen, and an indignant Jin Guangyao. A lonely Nie Huaisang gets in on the action by joining all twenty group chats and sending way too many gifs.
And, all the while, a rebellion is brewing on Wangxian’s block, their neighbors driven mad by the incessant midnight duets.
Poor Dr. Wen Qing, child psychologist and therapist extraordinaire. What has she done to deserve this?
Read On AO3!
Or read below if the spirit so moves you:
There’s a letter nailed to the door when they arrive home.
Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and reads it aloud.
“ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable ‘presents’ on our lawns—’ ”
Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”
Lan Wangji unlocks the door. “What else?”
“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”
“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.
* * * *
One month earlier:
It's all the daycare’s fault, really. And also the gang’s mutual pediatrician for getting involved and setting them up with a family therapist.
And they all know they should be grateful that the authorities are letting them off easy. But—
Weekly family therapy sessions that double as parenting classes? They all already know how to change diapers and hide the matches and make airplane noises.
And none of it’s not any of their faults. More of a…
“Series of misunderstandings,” explains Wei Wuxian to Dr. Wen Qing. “I’m sure when you hear the full story, you’ll laugh too. Right, Lan Zhan?”
“I don’t think she ever laughs,” whispers Xue Yang to Xiao Xingchen, who can’t see Dr. Wen’s impassive face but dissolves into a fit of giggles anyway.
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at the two of them and turns to Dr. Wen. “How long is this going to take? My new fashion line launches next week! I don’t have time for this—ow!” He jerks around at A-Yuan, who's gazing up at him innocently. He glares at Wei Wuxian. “Your carrot-brained little son bit me!”
Wei Wuxian scoops his son up onto his lap. “Don’t worry, A- Yuan, Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it—”
“Thumper!” A-Yuan corrects him.
“I’m sorry. Don’t worry, Thumper , Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it.”
“That’s normal,” says Xue Yang. “ ‘Thumper’?”
Xiao Xingchen hushes him.
“I just meant I’d go for a better name,” Xue Yang goes on. “Like Iago or Mushu if we’re picking from annoying cartoon animals. Doesn’t Thumper get shot?”
“You’re thinking of Bambi,” says Meng Yao irritably. He doesn’t look up from his phone as his finger moves in a blur over the screen. He’s missing several important meetings to be here. “He's the one who gets shot.”
A- Yuan’s eyes are huge. “Bambi gets shot?”
“No, Bambi’s mother gets shot,” Xue Yang explains.
A- Yuan bursts into tears.
Lan Wangji shoots Xue Yang a look that’s pure poison.
Dr. Wen clears her throat. “This is perhaps a good example of the dysfunction that—"
“Don’t worry, Thumper’s parents are just fine!” Wei Wuxian tells A- Yuan, squeezing the boy tighter. “Jiang Cheng, show him their pictures on your phone!”
“Do you think I have cartoon rodents as my wallpaper?”
“Google it!”
“Kid’s got to learn about death sometime.” Xue Yang places a lollipop in A-Yuan’s plump little hand. A-Yuan grins at him through his tears. Xue Yang is the kids’ favorite, to the jealousy of everyone but Xiao Xingchen, who is just as beloved. “See? Now he’ll always remember it as something sweet.”
The entire group gives him a Look, save Xiao Xingchen, who’s smiling and nodding.
Sometimes I think he’s deaf as well as blind , Meng Yao texts the others. There are an endless number of group chats, with most created just to complain about the people not on that specific group chat.
WWX : That’s cruel, but...
Jiang Cheng makes an impatient sound. Jin Ling is perched on his knee, slobbering on his custom lotus-patterned purple leather cell phone case. He takes his phone out of the toddler’s mouth and sets him down on the floor. “Can we move this along? Some of us have better things to do.”
“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Jiang.” Dr. Wen glances around the circle of folding chairs. “Now, do we all know why we’re here? Mr. Xue? Would you like to go first?”
Xue Yang stops picking at his chipped black nail polish. “What?”
“Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Xue?”
“I told A-Qing to stop biting people unless they really deserve it, and besides, she’s fully vaccinated, so I don’t see the problem there—”
“Mr. Xiao? Any ideas?”
Xiao Xingchen clears his throat and shuffles his sandaled feet, nervously smoothing the fringe on his oversized tie-dye poncho. “I’m not exactly sure why we’ve been included in a Jiang family therapy session, to be quite honest.”
“Your husband and daughter have been…implicated in some of the group’s…let’s call them mishaps, and as your daughter has adopted A- Yuan’s rabbit fixa—wait a minute, where is your daughter?”
“Xingchen’s got her,” shrugs Xue Yang.
JC - JGY - WWX - Jin Ling’ Uncles
JGY : *That’s* reassuring...
JGY : They make baby leashes for a reason
WWX : Lan Zhan threatened to buy me one the last time we went to the mall. I was lost for a half hour
JC : Are you sure he wasn’t just trying to lose you in the crowd?
WWX : Actually, I think Lan Zhan *did* buy the leash in the end…
*Jiang Cheng has left the chat*
Dr. Wen inclines her head. “Your husband is beside you, Mr. Xue. Your daughter is not.”
Xue Yang cranes his neck around the room. “I’m sure she’s fine, wherever she is. Unrelated question, are all of the valuables around here locked up, or—?”
“Mr. Xue—”
“We’ll know soon enough anyway. Is there an alarm system? No, don’t tell me. I’d rather be surprised. Be right back.” He tucks his phone inside his ripped black jeans and leaves the room, whistling. The clomp of his heavy combat boots disappears down the hall.
“Don’t worry,” says Xiao Xingchen, who seems to have missed a good half of what his husband has said, as usual. “This happens all the time. A-Qing has an excellent sense of direction.”
WWX - JGY - XY - JC - LWJ - Cabbage Patch Kids
JC : What the hell does that mean? The kid’s like 5
WWX : 3, tops
JC : No way she’s 3. She stole my watch last time she played w Jin Ling
LWJ : Are you certain that wasn’t her father?
NHS : XXC would never hahaha 😭 😭 😭
WWX : Huaisang! Whassup!
NHS:
WWX: You change the chat name again? I like it.
JC: Can he take my place here? This whole thing is inane
WWX : "Inane"! So you *have* been using the Word of the Day calendar Lan Zhan bought you!
JC : Shut up
JGY : Like a 5-year-old stealing a watch makes any more sense than a 3-year-old?
WWX : Oh we’re back on that?
NHS : Who stole who’s what now?
LWJ : *whose
JGY : Jiang Cheng was robbed by a toddler.
JC : Don’t you have some corporate espionage to go do or someone’s job to steal or something?
NHS:
JC: Send one more gif and I reach through your phone and strangle you
NHS:
WWX: Did you watch Shrek again without us? That’s A- Yuan’s fav movie
NHS: ur always so busy w lwj n the baby n playing w ur corpses lately!
Dr. Wen sighs. “All right, then. Who would like to go next? Mr. Jiang? How about you? Phones away, everyone, please.”
Jiang Cheng makes a show of being annoyed at having to look up from his phone. “I shouldn’t even be here. This is idiotic.”
WWX - NHS
WWX: Or “inane”
NHS:
“That’s not what the power company report says, Mr. Jiang. Now, I don’t mean to accuse you of anything, but there are concerns—”
“I swear Zidian was depowered when I gave it to Jin Ling to play with,” Jiang Cheng says irritably. “He teethed on that thing for months as a baby. It’s fine.”
WWX -XY - LWJ - JGY - 🧟 🍬 🐇 🤠
JGY: Did Jiang Cheng just tell a mandated reporter that he let Jin Ling teethe on his magic lightning whip?
XY: dammit Im missing all the good stuff!
LWJ: *I’m
NHS:
JGY: You’re wasting my phone’s memory with these ridiculous gifs.
NHS: *inane gifs
XY: Jiggy why don’t you just have your 🍬 🍭 👦👨 buy you a fancy new phone with more memory?
NHS:
WWX: XY did you find A-Qing?
NHS: He lost A-Qing again?
LWJ: …Again?
XY: NHS do you like your tongue where it is or
NHS:
JGY: ?
XY: fingers. whatever.
WWX: I'm lost too
XY: nvm
JGY: That was edifying.
“Now, Mr. Jiang, I don’t mean to insinuate that you let your three-year-old nephew play unsupervised with a dangerous weapon that mistakenly activated and went on to fry the power grid and knock out all power within a five-mile radius for two weeks—”
JGY: Despicable inefficiency
“—or that you took him to a weapons expo, because, I quote ‘He’s going to have to learn to fight eventually anyway’—”
“It was an archery range.”
WWX - LWJ - NHS - Wen Chao Sucks!
WWX: Start ‘em young
NHS: i think it's inane
NHS: WWX? did LWJ smile at that one?
LWJ: No
WWX: He’s laughing on the inside
NHS: how….inane
“Mr. Jiang? Have you any response?”
Jiang Cheng crosses his arms over his chest. Jin Ling is hopping around on the floor with A- Yuan. Obviously not electrocuted, Jiang Cheng thinks, so what’s the problem? “So when my brother blows out the entire neighborhood’s power doing illegal experiments in his garage it’s okay, but I plug a space heater into the same outlet as a toaster and I’m suddenly the devil incarnate?”
NHS - WWX - JGY - Two Bros & A Guy
NHS : Why would you need a space heater in the kitchen? what I do is turn the oven on and that gets the room all hot
WWX : I think you need a new oven
NHS : Are ovens not supposed to do that??
WWX : Do fridges radiate cold?
NHS : I never thought about it that way 🤔
JGY : In the history of the world, nobody ever has.
WWX : Also, all of my illegal experiments are electricity-free.
JGY : …Jin Ling is never spending the night at your house again.
WWX : I said electricity-FREE!
JGY : Because a fridge full of corpses that you and that psychotic hooligan are trying to raise from the dead is so much better.
WWX : A) it’s a top-of-the-line industrial freezer, not a fridge, and B) those corpses were ethically-sourced—locally-sourced, anyway—
NHS : free-range & organic
WWX : zip it Huaisang
NHS : 🐓
Dr. Wen taps her clipboard with her pen. “Mr. Jiang, nobody's accusing you of anything. This is simply—”
“Whatever. What about him?” Jiang Cheng jerks a thumb at Meng Yao. “At least I didn’t set fire to anything.”
Meng Yao straightens up indignantly. “That was an accident!”
Dr. Wen looks like she wants to go home. “According to the fire marshal’s report, it—”
“I’m so terribly sorry I’m late!” A slightly disheveled Lan Xichen appears in the doorway, Xue Yang behind him. “I locked my keys in the car, and was going to call AAA, but then I remembered that we aren’t members—did you know you have to be a member?—plus my phone—”
Xue Yang slaps him on the back. His other hand, gloved as always, is holding A-Qing by the hand. Her oversized pockets clink suspiciously as she runs to go play with A-Yuan and Jin Ling. Today Xue Yang has dressed her in a pink poodle skirt, black boots with frilly socks, and a black T-shirt with the words “Daddy’s Little Delinquent” in pink script, pulling her hair into spiky little pigtails.
“—and the look the bus driver gave me when I tried paying with the $50 I luckily had in my pocket!”
“He’s telling the truth,” Xue Yang says. Over the years, an odd friendship has sprung up between him and Lan Xichen. “He has a stamped bus pass and everything. Look at the poor man. Had to squash in with the hoi poloi. He won’t be over this for weeks.”
Lan Xichen is blinking too much. “And someone on the bus stole my wallet, though I could have sworn I left the bus with it—”
Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, who grins at him and pats the bulging pocket on her frilly pink skirt.
JC - WWX
JC : Why is my lead fashion designer wearing CROCS??
WWX : His house keys must have been on the same keychain. Lan Zhan said he took today off from work
JC : Okay but why are they orange?
WWX : Not everything he owns has to be blue, you know
JC : His contract clearly states at least three out of every four articles of clothing have to be blue!
WWX : Relax, lil bro
JC : He’s the face of our Overly Elaborate Yet Elegantly Simple Eveningwear division!
NHS : Who is?
JC : GET BIRD BRAIN OFF THIS CHAT OR I SWEAR TO ZIDIAN—
NHS : 😿 who just showed up? Xichen?
WWX : Yup he just arrived after a harrowing bus experience
NHS : https://cutt.ly/Mks2dgu ?
JC : Does anyone actually like when people send them links??
NHS : https://cutt.ly/hks21H8
Meng Yao is wearing what Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang call his "customer service smile," a holdover from his dark days in retail. It's the closest he ever gets to showing irritation towards his fiancé. “Why didn’t you Uber over, Xichen?”
“I locked my phone in the car with the keys—”
“It’s fine, Mr. Lan," says Dr. Wen. "Please have a seat. You’re just in time. After all, you were mentioned by name in the fire marshal’s report, along with the somewhat contradictory descriptions of ‘dazed’ and ‘hysterically sobbing,’ which naturally piqued my interest—”
Lan Xichen seats himself beside Meng Yao. He's still looking somewhat frazzled Then again, his main two facial expressions are “gentle smile” and “mild anxious look.” “That was an accident. The fire, I mean. A little mishap.”
“Gentlemen, all of these incidents cannot be mere ‘accidents’—”
“I was meditating and A-Ling wandered in and knocked over the incense burner,” Lan Xichen explains hurriedly. Meng Yao, well-practiced as he is at hiding his emotions, winces slightly. “The window was open, and there was a breeze, and A-Yao just bought these new gauzy curtains that tend to flap about quite a bit—”
XY - JGY - LWJ - JC - NHS - Crossing Us Is A *Great* Idea
XY : And burn quickly
NHS : What am I missing???
XY : Insurance fraud
NHS:
XY : Yes. We’re all complicit now
JGY : Xue Yang, have you heard of a little something called libel?
XY : 🖕 We should go back to building with asbestos like they did in the good old days
JC : We’re all so glad you’re here, Xue Yang
NHS : I need to adopt a kid so I can join your group or something, this sucks, you get to go this secret club every week, jc I see wwx even less than you do
JC : stop talking
XY : What color baby you want, NHS?
JC : What the hell??
XY : That was a joke
NHS: ....
“…and I was so deep in meditation I didn’t notice the flames until the fire department arrived, but A-Ling was fine, just fine, and all the fire fighters were so very nice…”
WWX : Can confirm. Xichen was more traumatized than the kid. The firefighters had to wrap him in like fifty foil blankets
XY : XXC tells me Himbo stayed with you a full week, was that why? my boy didn't tell me
LWJ : “Himbo”? He got 1600 on his SAT.
XY: Term of endearment he knows he’s my boy plus the guy locked his keys and phone in the car for the second time this month
JC : At least he feels remorse over his child endangerment, unlike certain other people I could mention
LWJ : "Child endangerment"?
XY : Tell us again about how Jin Ling used to teethe on Zidian, JC?
NHS:
“Dr. Wen will be pleased to know that my apartment is now fully equipped with a top-of-the-line sprinkler system,” says Meng Yao smoothly. “No more incense, either. This unfortunate incident will never be repeated again.”
XY - WWX - JC - Odd Man Out
XY : At least not until the insurance money runs out
WWX : 😒
XY : Not that he needs it, after landing Himbo
NHS:
WWX: Those jokes really aren't funny
NHS: 😔
JC: Dammit NHS are you in every chat?? Did you change the chat names? Why aren't you showing up on half the participant lists?? Did you hack our phones or what??
NHS: Don’t be so *inane*
Wei Wuxian titters.
“Mr. Wei? Since you seem so eager to speak, perhaps we should move onto your issues, then.”
Wei Wuxian straightens up and points to his chest, the picture of innocence. “Me?”
Dr. Wen smiles thinly. “You, Mr. Wei. Perhaps you can tell us your side of what the school is referring to as ‘The Radish Incident.’ ”
“Well….” Wei Wuxian darts a glance over at Lan Wangji, who is as impassive as ever. “I was just burying him for fun, you know. We like to pretend he’s a radish—“
“A radish?”
“It’s a…you know. A game. I personally like potatoes better, but—”
“Mr. Wei, several parents complained to the school.”
“Because we were hogging the sandbox.”
“Because your son was running around screaming ‘I’m a chubby little radish boy!’ Which in itself would not be cause for concern. But coupled with his troubling behavior the following week—"
XY - JC - JGY - Two Men & A Half
XY : Where did she get these records? Who does she work for, the NSA?
NHS : She’s an astronaut?
JGY : How did you sneak into this chat? And did you rename it?
NHS : 😉
JGY: You're what, an inch taller than me?
XY: someone struck a nerve
JGY: It's just derivative of the other group chat, that's all.
NHS : u said no to "gettin' jiggy w it" i had no other choice. anyway what's happening over there?
JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.
NHS : who a-yuan?
JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.
JC : I mean, he’s my nephew, he’s a great kid, that’s not what I’m meant—
XY : *delete delete*
JC : How does your hippie husband put up with you??
JGY : We suspect brainwashing or blackmail.
“—when he decided he was a rabbit or," Dr. Wen continues, "or, as he put it, ‘Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunny Boy.”
“He is Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunn—"
“And only responds to the name ‘Thumper,’ refuses to eat anything other than carrots or food containing carrots, insists on wearing bunny ears—"
XY - NHS
XY : If it’s good enough for Louis Belcher, it’s good enough for Freaky Little Bunny Boy
NHS:
you watch the show too?? I call mingjue “bob” - u know - grumpy mustache guy
XY : I’m sure that’s gone over well
NHS: he’ll learn to love it
XY : A-Qing loves Louis
NHS:
“—hops around instead of walking, and has convinced others of the same…fantasy.”
Everyone glances over at the three children, who are hopping in a circle. A-Yuan has a fluffy little tail on the seat of his pants, carefully sewn on by Lan Wangji. Jin Ling has a handful of cotton balls that had been badly superglued on by an annoyed Jiang Cheng. And A-Qing has a wad of blue cotton candy taped to her frilly pink skirt with a strip of duct tape. As they watch, Jin Ling rips the cotton candy off and stuffs it in his mouth. A-Qing shoves him onto his cottony rear end.
“That’s my girl!” Xue Yang calls.
“Daddy’s proud of you!” Xiao Xingchen adds, though he’s not quite sure what’s going on.
Dr. Wen sighs. “I’m still unclear about how this started. Was it the rabbit incident? Mr. Lan—" She nods her head at Lan Wangji to differentiate between the brothers. Lan Xichen has fallen asleep in his chair, exhausted by his first-ever bus ride. “—I mean, I beg your pardon, Dr. Lan. Perhaps you can fill us in on that? He told his teacher he was attacked by a rabbit monster."
“So he was bitten by one rabbit!” Wei Wuxian says when Lan Wangji just eyes her coldly. “It wasn’t Lan Zhan’s fault. That rabbit was bad news. It had this gleam in its eye—lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes—"
Xiao Xingchen emits a muffled little squeak. Xue Yang looks annoyed. He hates when other people make Xiao Xingchen laugh.
NHS - JC
NHS:
JC: yes yes we all get the Jaws reference
NHS: the last movie we all watched together : /
JC: yes I just said that
NHS: like three months ago
JC: and?
NHS: just saying...
“He was scared of the rabbits after that, and so Lan Zhan told him that rabbits only bite their own, and, well…I mean, we have a hundred rabbits in our backyard. It was either rehoming them and making the news like those crazy cat people, or making A-Yuan feel better.”
A-Yuan hops past, wiggling his cotton tail.
Jiang Cheng rubs his temples.
“All right, Mr. Wei. Thank you. That’s…elucidating. We’ll delve into that in future sessions. Now, perhaps we can discuss the June 7th incident involving you and Mr. Xue?”
Xiao Xingchen starts to laugh again. Xue Yang grins to himself.
LWJ - JC
LWJ : What happened on the 7th?
JC : Am I my brother’s keeper??
“Now, the seventh? I was…hard to remember, all that time ago…” Wei Wuxian taps his chin. "The mists of time and all that."
“It was three weeks ago, Mr. Wei.”
“The seventh….the seventh…was that a Tuesday—?”
“Wen Chao had it coming,” said Xue Yang. Smirking, he twirls his ponytail around a finger. His ponytail is long and sleek and sprouts from the top of his head like an 80s schoolgirl's. “Amiright, ‘Mr. Wei’?”
Wei Wuxian coughs. “You mean the Wen Chao who lives on Qishan Road? That Wen Chao?”
“That spoiled rich kid?” Jiang Cheng asks. (“As if you’re one to talk,” says Xue Yang.) “With the oversized Humvee and tractor-sized tires with spinning rims? Zipping down the street at all hours and blasting his music? I went to college with him. He used to leave double-deckers in the bathroom at frat parties.”
Dr. Wen swallows a long-suffering sigh. “Thank you, Mr. Jiang. I’m sure that information will prove most helpful in evaluating your brother’s case. Mr. Wei, your arrest, combined with the Huggy Little Bunny Boy Incident, does not fill me with confidence.”
“Not arrested—"
“Taken for questioning,” Xue Yang agrees. “By the neighborhood watch. Golf dads and wine moms. Very different from 'arrested.' "
"And you should know," says Meng Yao.
JC - JGY
NHS : What’s going on? What am I missing????
JGY: Did you just make a new group chat? Your name isn't showing up. This is disconcerting.
NHS: don’t worry about it
JC : We’re talking about Wen Chao
NHS : overcompensating humvee ex-frat boy with the hair gel? vomit in the jacuzzi and streak across the field at the big game wen chao? ur babysitter's cousin?
JC : The very idiot
NHS : He has nice sunglasses
JC : For a Russian mobster
NHS : Says the guy who owns a purple zebra striped jacket
JC : Says the guy with more bird-themed shirts than Winston Bishop
JGY : Touche.
NHS : i didn’t know u watch New Girl 2! we must talk l8tr shorturl.at/vDI26
JGY : Your abbreviations are marginally shorter than the actual words.
NHS :
JC : Cleaning bird cages does take up most of one’s afternoon
NHS : see, u get it
JC : Dr. Wen isn’t buying whatever WWX is selling here.
JGY : Wen Chao is related to Dr. Wen. If WWX had any more sense than a chipmunk, he’d realize that. No matter how much you hate someone, family is family...
“Wen Chao was a public menace,” says Wei Wuxian self-righteously. “He deserved what he got. Speeding down the street all the time. Think of the children!”
LWJ - WWX
LWJ: Why is this my first time hearing about this?
WWX: You’ve heard me complain about WC a million times. I even named a group chat after him!
LWJ: Wei Ying.
WWX: You were off visiting your uncle with A-Yuan ! You left me unsupervised! I am not to be blamed!!!
LWJ: We’ll discuss this later
WWX: 😓
“Perhaps the better question is where you got all those fish,” says Dr. Wen.
Everyone turns to look at Xue Yang.
“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he grins.
Xiao Xingchen chuckles.
“Five hundred dollars in damages, Mr. Xue. Raw fish juice is difficult to get out of faux tiger fur upholstery, I understand.”
Xue Yang flaps his hand. “His father can afford it.”
“That is not the—" Dr. Wen stops, perhaps realizing that an argument with Xue Yang means forfeiting a chunk of her sanity. “Moving on, Mr. Xue, can you explain this picture you posted on social media?”
“That picture’s an old one. A-Qing’s just a baby.”
“Mr. Xue, given the recent threats you made towards A-Qing’s daycare teacher for putting her in a time-out for stealing her classmate’s graham crackers and apple juice, this is relevant.”
“Posting that to the public account was a mistake, if that’s your concern. My Insta for A-Qing is private, but I was in a candy store and got kind of distracted by the new sugar-frosted fruity explosion jaw-busting mega bombs—"
“You fail to understand the issue, Mr. Xue. What’s that in her mouth?”
“Fingers. Or is that a toe?”
Xiao Xingchen laughs.
“They weren't real,” says Xue Yang.
WWX - JC
WWX:
JC: Great more gifs
“I think I have one with the Halloween store tags still on—" Xue Yang scrolls through the hundreds of photos of A-Qing filling his phone. “Should be one in here somewhere—oh, look, Xingchen, these are from your birthday party; I tell you, Amazo the Magnificent had no sense of humor at all; you’d think nobody had ever replaced his rabbit with a porcupine before-"
Jin Ling hops by. “Rabbit!” he cheers.
Jiang Cheng groans.
“There is blood on the fingers, Mr. Xue.”
Xue Yang gives a breezy laugh. “Paint. The springy plastic is perfect for teething. You just put it in the freezer for a few hours—real fingers wouldn’t work; they’d freeze solid, which makes good ice packs for those hard-to-reach places, sure, but as far as teething goes—”
Dr. Wen holds up a hand. “Thank you, Mr. Xue. That’s enough. My next question is about this speeding ticket, which you received while your daughter was strapped to your chest.”
“She was wearing a helmet!”
“You were driving a motorcycle down the highway, Mr. Xue.”
Xue Yang glances hurriedly at Xiao Xingchen, who’s frowning. “These were two separate incidents—"
“Mr. Xue, I don’t think that that makes it much better—"
“Ouch!” Meng Yao shoots to his feet. “He bit me! Your son bit me!”
Wei Wuxian scoops up A- Yuan, who's looking very satisfied with himself. “You shouldn’t have worn a carrot-orange shirt, then.”
“It’s not orange, it’s beige—"
“Maybe he was aiming for Xichen’s crocs and missed,” Xue Yang suggests.
Meng Yao pats his pockets. “Where’s my phone?”
Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, whose already-stuffed pocket is bulging further. Xue Yang likes dressing her in disarmingly cute dresses and skirts with huge pockets, the better to hide her loot. She grins and twirls a pigtail like Xue Yang twirls his ponytail and skips off with Jin Ling and A- Yuan.
Meng Yao is wearing the fixed smile of a Starbucks barista whose customer just asked to speak to the manager. Never a good sign. “Could somebody be so kind as to call my phone?”
Wei Wuxian makes a show of dialing. No one else moves. Lan Xichen mumbles something to himself in his sleep, chin sunk deep in his chest.
“Sorry, Jiggy,” says Wei Wuxian. “Maybe you left your phone at home?”
“You all saw me using it not a minute ago, and kindly stop calling me Jiggy—"
“A-Yao?”
Meng Yao’s customer service smile slips. “Just stop talking for five seconds, that’s all I ask—"
Dr. Wen shakes her head. At this point she seems more bored than anything else. “Moving along, Mr. Xiao, this is perhaps inconsequential when held up beside your husband’s joyrides with A-Qing—"
“Not a joyride,” Xue Yang interrupts. “That motorcycle is registered in my name. Well, a name—"
“—but A-Qing’s teacher has told me that she witnessed you allowing A-Qing to take candy from strangers.”
“The lady seemed nice,” says Xiao Xingchen, folding his hands placidly in his lap. “She had peppermints.”
Xue Yang sighs fondly.
JC - WWX
NHS: thnx for calling me WWX. reception could be better but this is better than anything on tv. literally candy from strangers?
JC: Dear heaven HE’S back. Just text a chat you're actually on!
NHS: ‘Dear heaven’?
JC: This is inane!
WWX: …not bad
Xiao Xingchen smiles. “She smelled like snickerdoodles and lavender.”
Dr. Wen sighs. “Mr. Xiao—"
“I’ll talk to him later, doctor,” says Xue Yang, patting Xiao Xingchen’s arm reassuringly. “Anything else? What did Mr. Beige do?” He grins at Meng Yao, who’s still looking for his phone.
“Mr. Meng, aside for the fire, which we’ve established is not your fault—though, fiance or not, you should be a bit more judicious in your choice of babysitters—"
Lan Wangji shoots Dr. Wen a look that almost melts the metal clip on her clipboard.
She absorbs it without so much as an eyebrow twitch. “—there is the Treehouse Incident, though I don’t believe the collapse of your nephew’s treehouse was your fault.”
JC - WWX - LWJ - We’re All Cool Here We Promise
NHS : i hear he bought the biggest fanciest one he could then set it up himself and then it fell down at the first storm. if that’s not a metaphor for his life I don’t know what is
JC : That wasn’t funny, someone could have gotten hurt
WWX : it was kind of funny
NHS : it was very funny
LWJ : "Hurt" like a baby at a weapons expo?
NHS : LWJ IN DA HOUSE!
JC : It was an ARCHERY RANGE
LWJ:
NHS: LWJ USED A GIF IM DEAD LMAO—
LWJ: *I’m
“We are suing the playhouse company,” says Meng Yao. “Right, Xichen?”
“Hm?” Lan Xichen sits up with a jerk. “I beg your pardon?”
Meng Yao gives him a patient smile and turns back to Dr. Wen. “As you can see, we have the situation well in hand.”
Lan Xichen has no idea what he’s talking about but nods along anyway. “Of course we do. In fact—" He whips out a recorder and starts playing “Wonderwall.”
“That was…lovely,” says Dr. Wen once he finishes. “Don’t do it again. Now, moving on to the County Fair Incident—"
“Which was an accident!”
“One more interruption, Mr. Wei, and you will be asked to return for solo counseling."
JC - LWJ - XY - NHS - Lan Wangji Pls Stop Vetoing All My Best Chat Names Thnx
NHS : Make him stand in the corner! LWJ, does that ever work at home?
XY : I think he uses *stronger* methods 😏
*Lan Wangji has left the chat*
JC : Xue Yang shut up I will end you that’s my brother
XY : End me with your sparkly little whip? 👀
JC : Your husband’s sitting right next to you you little freak. Allo people are so fricking annoying!
NHS : hey!
JC: I call it as I see it
NHS: your one to talk 😒
*Lan Wangji has joined the chat*
LWJ : *You're
*Lan Wangji has left the chat*
XY : How old were you when you lost your sense of humor, Grape Boy?
JC : “Grape Boy” is that the best you can do?
XY : there are children present
NHS : 🤭 🤭 🤭
JC : Same way there are children present while barreling down the highway at 80 mph on a motorcycle?
NHS:
XY : The state troopers blew that way out of proportion
Dr. Wen taps her clipboard. “Stealing livestock violates Section 2 of the Farm and Livestock Act—”
“No harm no foul,” shrugs Xue Yang. “And Xiao Xingchen gave all the trampled people candy afterward, so we’re all square. Well, snacks, anyway."
“Good snacks,” Xiao Xingchen adds. “Carob-covered rice cakes and trail mix.”
NHS: 🤢
“You can’t just hand out nuts children who might have an allergy—"
“There were also boxes of raisins. Full-size.”
Dr. Wen struggles to keep from rolling her eyes. Jiang Cheng rolls his hard enough for the both of them.
JC - NHS
NHS:
JC: wtf is that get that off my screen
“According to the police report, all three of your children broke into the paddock, released the donkey, and rode him down the main promenade, scattering fairgoers in their wake. I have the video.” Dr. Wen holds up her phone. Loud screams and merry-go-round music blast from her phone. “Mr. Xue? Anything to say?”
“That guy was barely trampled,” says Xue Yang. “Also, I had nothing to do with opening the paddock, whose latch sticks (just by the way), or helping the kids up onto the donkey, so—"
“This was found at the scene.” She holds up black leather necklace with a single red bead. "Look familiar, Mr. Xue?”
Xue Yang touches his bare throat. “I’ve been framed.”
“And this.” She holds up a flute and glances over at Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian darts a quick glance over at Lan Wangji, who does not look amused. Then again, he never does. “Since when was I even a suspect—?"
“Since you left your flute there like an idiot,” says Jiang Cheng.
“Lil’ Apple’s paddock was too small! I had to do something."
“Gentlemen—"
The cuckoo clock on the wall goes off, waking up Lan Xichen, who’s drifted off again. He whips out his recorder again but Meng Yao lays a gently restraining hand on his wrist.
Dr. Wen rises. “We will continue this next week. In the meantime, I have some worksheets—"
JC - NHS
JC : Kill me now
NHS : i wouldnt tempt LWJ if i were u…
JC : not like I take up any of WWX’s precious time anyway anymore. LWJ goes out of town and WWX teams up with that nutcase ex-juvenile delinquent of all people to vandalize WC’s car?? In college we stole WC's team's stupid tortoise mascot together
NHS : …..i'll call u later
JC : Please don’t
NHS :
NHS: u can come over on ur own to watch a movie or smthing u know
NHS: ur new line launched already so ur not so busy now right?
NHS: u can bring jin ling along as a chaperone if u want
NHS: hello?
NHS: that was a joke…
JC: okay but no more romcoms
NHS: u brought mama mia over last time not me
JC: I grabbed the wrong dvd
NHS: …..🤐
JC: 🖕
NHS: 😏 see u soon
* * * *
One month later:
“Best session yet!” says Wei Wuxian as they pull up to his house in Jiang Cheng's sleek purple Jaguar. “I mean, Dr. Wen wasn’t thrilled about the whole ‘our kids visited Nie Huaisang’s bird sanctuary and now think they’re skvaders’ thing, but all in all—"
“Just get out of the car.” Jiang Cheng gives him a little shove. They’d all been busy this past month, and had only seen Nie Huaisang once, but that had been enough to convince the kids that they’re hybrid bunny-birds. “I’ll wait outside while you go and get Jin Ling—" He stops. A letter is nailed to the front door.
“Is someone starting another Protestant reformation?” Wei Wuxian jokes. He grins at Lan Wangji, who raises his eyebrow slightly. Excellent. So he found the joke as funny as he did, though going by the way he eyes the nail he’s not thrilled about what just happened to the door’s glossy blue paint.
Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and starts to read aloud. “ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable “presents” on our lawns—’ ”
Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”
LWJ unlocks the door. “What else?”
“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”
“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.
Wei Wuxian slings an arm around his shoulders, the first time in weeks. Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen much of his brother outside of the counseling sessions. “Dr. Wen says that kind of negativity is toxic.”
Jiang Cheng grunts, but lets Wei Wuxian keep his arm on his shoulder. “I’ll show you toxic—”
The babysitter is sitting under the table with Jin Ling and A-Yuan when they enter the house, building a miniature cenotaph made out of blocks.
“The kids okay, Wen Ning?” Wei Wuxian asks him.
Wen Ning peers out from between two chairs. “We were under siege for a couple of hours. Pitchforks and torches, same old thing. But we turned out the lights and stayed away from the windows and made s’mores.”
“So that’s what happened to all the plastic lawn flamingos. Trampled by angry villagers."
Jiang Cheng pinches his temples. “I told you adopting an incontinent donkey was a bad idea. At least keep his paddock locked.”
“We don’t have to tell your sister about this, do we, Wen Ning? …Good. What did the mob look like? Did you catch any names?”
“They were led by a fat man with a goatee and a skinny old guy with beady eyes and a moustache like two long droopy rat tails." Wen Ning crawls out from under the table. “The skinny guy was wearing bright red and blue and purple clothes and the fat guy had a bullhorn. And my cousin Wen Chao was in back yelling something about the rising cost of dry cleaning in this day and age, I think?”
“Yao and Ouyang.” Wei Wuxian makes a face. “Power couple from hell, and I should know. I’ve been there.”
“Are they those nosy neighbors you’re always complaining about?” asks Jiang Cheng.
“They’ve been after us from day one!”
“Well, having that fierce corpse of yours key their car didn’t help.”
“That was an accident.”
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
“You know, Nie Huaisang has been texting me about this house for sale next door to him,” says Wei Wuxian thoughtfully. “Lan Zhan, maybe we should check it out?”
Jiang Cheng picks up Jin Ling and pats him gently on the back. “You’re just going to have the same problem with the angry villagers, just across town.”
“No, it’s a big corner lot. I’ve seen it. Looks like the Addams Family lives there. Comes with its own little graveyard and everything. Huaisang’s family owns it, and they’ve been trying to unload it for months, but everyone thinks it’s haunted just because of that time I brought those fierce corpses with me on a visit and they got loose—but that’s neither here nor there. It’s perfect!”
Lan Wangji nods.
“Whatever.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going, A-Ling.”
Once he’s strapped Jin Ling into his car seat, he takes out his phone.
JC - NHS
JC : Your plan worked
Nie Huaisang:
???
Jiang Cheng: yeah. Thanks for riling them up behind my brother’s back all month. Class move. Direct and straightforward
NHS:
NHS: not that they needed much inciting. wwx blowing up the garage was the last straw
JC : was still weirdly convoluted for no reason
JC : Not sure why you had to get me involved either
NHS: says the guy who lives 20 blocks away but still volunteered to file the noise complaint because, i quote, “the duets *R* annoying”
JC : well you can’t file a complaint about them stopping mid-conversation with you to gaze soulfully into each others’ eyes for ten minutes
NHS : *snort*
JC : If you miss WWX so much 🙄 why didn’t you just tell him straight out instead of pulling this shtick?
NHS:
NHS : there’s another house available down the street just fyi…
NHS: my big fat greek wedding sat night? u bring the dvd n i’ll get the pizza
Shaking his head, but smiling to himself, Jiang Cheng starts the car.
#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#mdzsnet#nie huaisang#xue yang#lan xichen#wen qing#wen ning#xiao xingchen#xuexiao#xiyao#wangxian#a-qing#jin ling#lan sizhui#jin guangyao#meng yao#lan zhan#cql#mdzs#the untamed#the untamed fanfic#the untamed crack
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im sorry im just a bit confused- you said for flowers in the palace that wangxian are the only ones cis-swapped but then you have fem pronouns for xichen? is xichen trans then? how did she have jingyi if shes a ytransgirl? is it like the other ones where jingyi's a cultivated baby?
oh gosh this has been coming up all day and I am screaming
so this is what happened:
1. I wrote the beginning note, forgot to include Fem!LXC in the list of cisswapped characters because she doesn't actually appear in the fic, and hit post
2. Five minutes later, I notice that I forgot LXC and go back to edit the note
3. AO3 tends to lag with edits (especially if you're not signed in) so everyone who reads the fic notices that Lan Xichen's name was not included in the list of cisswapped characters and gets confused
4. Multiple people rush to tell me that LXC was left out of the list/ask why she was left out 😅
To clear it up for everyone, Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, and Lan Xichen are all depicted as cis women in the Flowers in the Palace verse! Lan Jingyi is Nielan's biological son, whom Lan Xichen gave birth to. Cultivation doesn't exist in this verse, so cultivated babies aren't a thing here.
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any fics where wwx gets injured and lwj gets really worried and protective or smth? sorry for being boring haha
You’re not boring anon!! Sorry for taking a while to get to this!! I’ve been taking a break from tumblr for the past couple of days, but here you go! (this is gonna be long!)
company by withbroombefore
Rating: Teen & up | Canon Divergence | Status: Complete | Chapters: 10 | Word Count: 29827
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: Lan Wangji is fourteen when the dying boy comes to stay at Cloud Recesses.
☆ personal comments: so like...wwx comes to the cloud recesses early because he is injured (i wont spoil how) but there are some soft moments in here, lwj wondering if wwx is going to survive and im a sucker for the lxc and lqr liking/caring for wwx also...so i figured i would throw this one in here! it’s really good!! def should read!
lover please stay (i know you’re weary) by laylabinx
Rating: Teen & up | Slight Canon Divergence | Status: Complete | Chapters: 4 | Word Count: 15368
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: Lan Zhan lost Wei Ying once and is determined to never let it happen again.
Which might be a problem considering the other man is actively bleeding to death on his back.
(Post Carp Tower)
☆ personal comments: i pretty good fic!! not super long, but its basically like the missing scenes between the carp tower stabbing and wwx waking up back at cloud recesses!
build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets)
Rating: Mature | Post-Canon | Status: Complete | Chapters: 9 | Word Count: 54585
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: Wei Wuxian opens the letter and skims through, feeling his frown deepen with every line. “Oh. A request from Yiling. This man Tong Shen writes, 'I can’t explain what’s happening — you wouldn’t believe me if I tried. The hills are moving and they are hungry. Please send aid, Hanguang-jun, this humble one begs you.' Well, my curiosity is certainly piqued."
A few months after the events of Guanyin Temple, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji take on a night hunt of an unusual sort: The Burial Mounds are spreading, quickly and with no apparent explanation.
In Wei Wuxian, it brings old, long-buried things bubbling to the surface.
☆ personal comments: this is one of my favorite fics. I love it so much. It’s a case fic and it’s just so well written. lwj in this fic is very much worried about how the burial mounds are affecting wwx in this fic. this is just them trying to figure out what the hell is going on and trying to solve it with a mix of them coming to terms with their feelings w each other and getting together anyway...this fic...so good...just read...
hunters seeking solid ground by attila
Rating: Explicit | Post Canon | One-Shot |Status: Complete | Word Count: 23633
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: “Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”
☆ personal comments: another fic that is my fave...just sleeping issues...wwx showing up to the cloud recesses sleep deprived and lwj being worried about him and yeah :( i really love this fic.
do not take that which does not belong to you by selene210
Rating: Explicit | Canon Divergence | One-Shot | Status: Complete | Word Count: 7712
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: “You are not in a position to ask for my secrets”
“Is that a threat, Yiling Laozu” Bad Breath said, pushing him towards the entryway of the crumbing shack.
When Wei Wuxian laughed, it was a wild sound, free and unrestrained and at odds with the current situation. He was not afraid, for he knew what was coming. Who was coming.
The men’s second mistake was daring to take that which belonged to the Second Jade of Lan.
☆ personal comments: ahhhh this fic...very spicy....just beware of that...
before we get started, does anyone wanna get out? by iggysassou
Rating: Explict | Post-Canon | One-Shot | Status: Complete | Word Count: 13583
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: “You’re hurting him.”
“And we’ll do much more if you don’t do as we say,” the man promised, pressing the dagger in just a little deeper to spur Wei Ying into obeying.
Lan Wangji hissed, closing his eyes for a moment before forcing himself to look back at his husband. The sting from the blade was bearable but combined with his injured arm twisted back, it was difficile to hide the pain in his eyes. Not that it would have worked anyway, Wei Ying knew every line of his face, knew all of his expressions, no matter how small.
Wei Ying’s eyes darkened as his hand settled on Chenqing. “Lower your dagger or you won’t leave this forest alive."
Or, 5 times Wei Wuxian protected his loved ones and one time Lan Wangji protected him.
☆ personal comments: gonna switch it up some and add some protective wwx but there is also protective lwj in this...also its just a good fic all around.
the universe would turn to a mighty stranger by ravenclawloki
Rating: Teen & up | Canon Divergence | One-Shot | Status: Complete | Word Count: 11274
Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
Author’s Summary: “I understand many of you may not be taking this indoctrination to heart.” Wen Chao pompous voice rang through, finally breaking the silence. If Wei Ying was next to him, he would roll his eyes so dramatically that Lan Wangji would be able to hear it - the thought comforts him. “Which pains me; submitting to the rules will makes this a much more pleasant experience. This is supposed to be educational for all of us. So, in case any of you aren’t taking this seriously still…” He eyes traveled to his side where two guards holding something lifeless by either arm, walking towards Wen Chao and the teens following his gaze.
Nie Huaisang stiffened next to him.
Jiang Wanyin screamed his brother’s name.
Jin Zixuan’s inhaled sharply.
But all Lan Wangji saw was Wei Ying.
☆ personal comments: all the bros thinkin wwx is dead?? the pain oh no!!! no but this is a pretty good fic :-)
#answered#fic recs#mdzs#mdzs fic rec#wangxian fic rec#ahhh im blanking on fics ;; im really sorry i wanted this to be longer ;; if i can think of anymore ill add them later ;;
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Hi 👋 if you have enough time (and inspiration) then could you write a drunk confession with Wen Ning or Nie Mingjue? PS: Your writings are pretty good 🌺🌼🌸
A/N:OML THIS ONE IS SO LATE IM SORRY! anyways hope you like it lol!(its pretty cheesy, I made it a little self indulgent lol)
What their drunk confessions are like (Pt 7):
Wen Ning:
As a living corpse, Wen Ning didn’t think he could still get drunk
He was wrong
The liquor made by Senior Wen (in burial mounds) was strong enough to make even Wen Ning drunk
Which he’d never expected
But now, with his mind muddled by the drink and you sitting so close, Wen Ning was having more fun than he’d had in months
Alcohol made everyone more jovial and of course Wei Wuxian was telling the great tales of his exploits to a very entertained crown of Wen’s
You seemed to be very interested in what he had to say, laughing at all the right times, a smile so bright lightning up you face and Wen Ning couldn’t help but wish he could be the one to make you laugh like that
But unfortunately he didnt have any tales of immense bravery to tell
All he would be able to tell you about would be how he got pushed around and bullied for being weak
You immediately picked up on how his expression had fallen while looking at you
“Whats wrong Ah-Ning?”
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts and offered you a small smile
“Just thinking...”
It was clear you didnt believe him
The look of worry on your face made him feel bad
“Its really nothing Ah-Y/N, I was only thinking about Wei-Gonzi’s story.”
Your expression softened and you smiled again
Then, you scooted closer to him and grabbed his hand
“Come, let’s go get some fresh air”
Wen Ning didnt need any fresh air, but he would go anywhere with you if you asked him, so he got up and followed behind you
The only one to notice your departure was Wen Qing, but she did nothing, knowing of her brother’s feelings for you
Maybe he’d be able to confess tonight
Tugging him along gently, you went to sit by the small lotus pool that Wei Wuxian had built
You then let go of his hand, and patted beside you, telling him to sit by you
He did
There was a calm silence, interrupted only by the sounds of the burial mounds
Wen Ning took the opportunity to look at you
You looked so pretty in the soft moonlight, you lips slightly twisted upwards into a small smile, your posture entirely relaxed and calm
You were the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen
And when you looked back at him he couldn’t help but see a hint of fondness in your eyes
He almost felt compelled to spill his heart out to you, and tell you his deepest feelings of love and adoration for you
He almost wanted to tell you that he was in love with you
And he almost did
But something held him back
It was the same thing that held him back every single time
What was the point of telling you how he felt if you could never feel the same way?
It would only tarnish your friendship and make you pity him more than you already did
And he would never put any unwanted feelings on you
And so he held his breath and looked away
“What’s on your mind Ah-Ning?”
You could see that he was struggling to say something, and if it was what you thought it was, you wanted to hear him say it
You needed to hear him say it
And now that he was seemingly drunk, it would be the perfect moment
“N-nothing...”
You could feel the lie
You turned your gaze to him and pierced him with your gaze
The you gripped his cold hand again, which almost made him jump in surprise
“Tell me Ah-Ning, I can help you. I can see that its been bothering you. What is it?”
Your gentle voice and the fact that he had a bit too much to drink loosened his lips, and before he knew what he was doing, he was telling you how he felt
“You’re b-beautifull tonight, and I was just thinking about how nice you are. To me and to everyone, and, um, I really like, uh, being with you? You are so amazing Ah-Y/N...” he mumbled, avoiding your gaze at all costs
You on the other hand were ecstatic
You tugged his and and got up, bringing him to his feet abruptly
As soon as he was standing stably, you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips
He couldn't believe what was happening
It was as if all the lights had been turned off and the entirety of the burial mounds just faded away
Leaving him alone with the most amazing person on this planet
You
And you were there, looking up at him with bright, loving eyes, and kissing him
Could you... Could you truly love him?
Could it really be true?
“I think you are the most amazing person too Ah-Ning... If we feel the same it means we must court right?”
He nodded, reality crashing on him
You loved him
And you wanted to court him
He happily kissed you back, putting all his pent up emotion into it, always making sure that you weren’t hurt
The stars seemed to shine brighter, if only for a second, smiling down upon the two of you
Thank you for reading!
#wen ning#wen ning x reader#mdzs x reader#mdzs#cql#cql x reader#mdzs hc#mdzs headcanons#request#my work#grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation#wen clan
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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.
Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:
✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨
MDZS/CQL
1. Wei Wuxian
Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation
2. Wen Qing
On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!
3. Jiang Yanli
The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind
She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all
4. Jiang Cheng
Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.
5. Lan Wangji
I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future
yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically
TGCF
1. Xie Lian
suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO
2. Hua Cheng
of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge
3. Jun Wu
Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.
4. He Xuan
I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h
5. Mu Qing
Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster
SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂
#long post#asked & answered#lol sorry this is so long and incoherent#the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts#and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast#because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven#but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol#loosely in order#tgcf spoilers#also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist#but not personally compelling in the way jw is
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okay so no pressure at all to write this but consider: wwx leaving his cave bc lwj got slightly hurt or smth (not on purpose!) but rly lwj is just taking this opportunity to bully wwx into seeing and taking care of him? sorry haha but your double happiness fics made me continue to watch pillowbook so im dying bc fluff and sass 😂
Extra 13: 桃花蜜 (Peach blossom honey) | previous parts here
Wei Wuxian shuffles guiltily into the room, wringing his hands in front of him and chewing on his bottom lip. He hovers in the archway separating the private quarters from the main chamber, watching as Lan Wangji sits up in bed with a wince, one hand pressed over his right shoulder.
“I’m sorry!” he blurts out. Lan Wangji looks at him with a raised eyebrow and doesn’t respond, which makes him panic even more. “I didn’t mean to stab you for real. I only meant to—”
Still, Lan Wangji doesn’t speak. Guilt gnaws away at his gut, twisting and churning at his insides, and he sidles closer to the bed with his most apologetic expression.
“Lan Zhan…” he says, reaching out to pinch the edge of Lan Wangji’s sleeve between his fingers and giving it a quick tug. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
He pouts for good measure. He really hadn’t meant to stab Lan Wangji with the knife. They had been sparring, and Lan Wangji had knocked Suibian from his hand, so Wei Wuxian had whipped out his knife as a substitute. There was no way he could have predicted that Lan Wangji would lose his footing and not be able to block his attack! He’d dropped the knife as soon as he realised what had happened, but it had already been too late.
But Lan Wangji still doesn’t acknowledge him, and Wei Wuxian is at a loss about what to do. He tugs a little harder at his sleeve.
“Lan Zhan,” he whines. “Tell me what I can do to fix it?”
Lan Wangji glances over at the bowl of medicine sitting on the table.
“The medicine,” he says.
Wei Wuxian leaps to obey, eager to do something as long as it means Lan Wangji doesn’t blame him for what happened. He perches on the edge of the bed and holds the bowl out to him. Lan Wangji looks down at it, then back up at Wei Wuxian.
“My shoulder is injured,” he says.
Wei Wuxian gapes.
“You want me to—” He looks down at the bowl, cheeks flushing indignantly. “I’m not your maid!”
Lan Wangji grunts, pressing his hand more firmly against his shoulder where he had been stabbed, and fixes Wei Wuxian with a pointed look as if to say 'this is your fault, take responsibility'. Which, okay, yes, he has a point. Wei Wuxian sighs and picks up the spoon reluctantly.
“You should consider yourself lucky,” he grumbles. “No one else has ever had the good fortune to be fed medicine by me personally.”
“You stabbed me,” Lan Wangji reminds him, leaning forward and sipping from the spoon in Wei Wuxian’s hand. He pulls back as soon as his lips touch the spoon. “It’s too hot.”
“You—!” Wei Wuxian splutters. “You’re a dragon! You control water!”
Lan Wangji coughs delicately and touches his shoulder again. Wei Wuxian grinds his teeth, takes a deep breath to calm himself down, and glares. And the bastard—the bastard has the audacity to sit there looking expectantly at him, waiting for him to cool down his medicine to an acceptable drinking temperature! He’s the Crown Prince of Qing Qiu, not some common nursemaid for Lan Wangji to boss around!
The fingers holding the spoon shake as he brings to closer to his own mouth and blows gently over the medicine to cool it. He briefly entertains the idea of heating the medicine instead of cooling it—it would only take a tiny spark of power—but decides against it. Who knows what Lan Wangji would make him do in retaliation. It wouldn’t be worth it.
He holds out the spoon to Lan Wangji, who drinks the medicine with a pleased little crinkle at the corner of his eyes.
“Mm, much better,” he says. He waits patiently for Wei Wuxian to bring the next spoonful to his mouth and drinks that too. Then he frowns. “It’s very bitter though.”
“Good medicine always is,” Wei Wuxian tells him shortly.
Lan Wangji turns away from the next spoonful with a put-upon expression and a tiny downturn of his lips.
“Some peach blossom honey would help,” he says, almost wistfully. And then he looks at Wei Wuxian out of the corner of his eye.
How did he—?
“No, it won’t,” Wei Wuxian bites out through his clenched jaws. “Don’t be a baby.”
Lan Wangji sighs and sits back against the bedframe, his hand still clutching his injured shoulder.
“You can take the medicine away,” he says.
“You—!” Wei Wuxian exclaims in dismay. “How old are you, Lan Wangji? Wanting sweets with your medicine!”
But Lan Wangji stubbornly refuses the next spoonful that’s brought to his mouth. Wei Wuxian groans.
“What do you want from me?” he complains. “What will it take to get you to finish this medicine?”
He knows he’s made a mistake when he sees the glint in Lan Wangji’s eyes. He resigns himself to surrendering his personal stash of peach blossom honey, the one Xiao Xingchen had specially developed for him as a kit to take with his own medicine. How Lan Wangji even knew that he carries a vial with him at all times is beyond him—
“Feed it to me,” Lan Wangji tells him.
“I am!”
Lan Wangji shakes his head.
“Not with the spoon,” he says. His eyes fall to Wei Wuxian’s lips.
“W-What?” Wei Wuxian cries, flushing to the roots of his hair, his heart racing at the thought despite his indignation. “No way! That’s—”
Shameless. Indecent. How could Lan Wangji suggest such a thing when they weren’t—!
“We’re engaged,” Lan Wangji reminds him. “It would not be inappropriate.”
"Fake engaged,” Wei Wuxian retorts. He fishes in his sleeve for the vial of peach blossom honey. “Here. Take it. You can have the whole thing with your stupid medicine. I hope you get cavities.”
He shoves it at Lan Wangji’s chest, only for his hand to be batted away.
“I don’t want it anymore,” Lan Wangji says. “I want you to feed me.”
“Lan Wangji! Don’t push your luck,” Wei Wuxian warns. He sets the bowl down on the bedside table with a clang and gets to his feet in a huff. “You have another hand, use it!”
A hand shoots out to grab his wrist as he turns to leave, and he’s yanked back down onto the bed with more force than any injured person should rightfully have, immortal or no. He finds himself on his back, splayed over Lan Wangji’s legs, looking up into his amber eyes, now darkened to the colour of rich honey. His heart is doing an impressive acrobatic routine in his chest and you could probably fry an egg on his face with the heat that rushes to it when he takes in their current position. A hand on his chest prevents him from getting up again.
“Wei Ying.” He shivers at the way Lan Wangji almost purrs his name. “Where are you going?”
“N-Nowhere,” he squeaks. Lan Wangji hums, pleased.
“Good boy.” The hand on his chest lightens enough so he can sit up, moving down to rest on his thigh instead. Wei Wuxian gulps. “The medicine, please.”
Wei Wuxian wishes he’d stabbed him a couple more times when he’d had the chance. Why stop at one, when he could riddle this lecherous bastard with holes? It would be infinitely more satisfying.
He picks up the bowl of medicine and looks at its murky brown contents with revulsion. He can’t believe he’s about to do this for Lan Wangji when he can barely stomach drinking medicine for himself. But when he goes to drink it, Lan Wangji grabs his hand and brings the bowl to his own mouth, downing the contents in one smooth swallow. Wei Wuxian stares at him, dumbstruck.
What the fuck?
The bowl is taken from him and something else is pressed into his hands while he’s still frozen. He looks down to see the vial of peach blossom honey and then back up into Lan Wangji’s expectant gaze, still feeling a little off-kilter. There isn’t a spare spoon. How does he—?
He removes the stopper from the vial and dips a finger inside, scooping out a dollop of rich, golden syrup. He stares at it, lost. What now?
Lan Wangji takes matters into his own hands and takes Wei Wuxian’s finger into his mouth. Heat flares through Wei Wuxian at the sensation of Lan Wangji’s tongue against his skin, running up the length of his arm and straight down into his belly. He gasps, high and breathy in the back of his throat, and whimpers when Lan Wangji chuckles, the vibrations tingling along every nerve in his finger. Then the heat is gone and air is cold against the residual wetness on his finger.
Lan Wangji hums.
“It’s delicious,” he says, pleased as punch. “Thank you, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian jumps to his feet with a gasp and runs out of the room, his hands pressed against his burning cheeks. Lan Wangji lets him leave without protest, stoppering the vial of peach blossom honey and turning it over in his hand with a satisfied smile.
// buy me a ko-fi //
#mdzs#wangxian#double happiness verse#雙喜臨門#my writing#fox prince!wwx#dragon!lwj#THE RETURN OF SMUGJI#this ask has been sitting in my drafts for idk how long now#i forgot i had it#but here you go#this is BEFORE the feelings reveal ofc#wwx wishes he had stabbed him more#LWJ is very 得寸进尺#rip wwx's last braincell#feat. 桃花蜜#hey nonny nonny#asks
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Fic Finder
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1. Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores
FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)
FOUND! by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag
(M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA: Oops, not this one. JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]
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2. Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜
FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)
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3. Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?
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4. i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype
FOUND! @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae
(E, 42k, wangxian, my post)
FOUND! @castaways-logbook offers The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)
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5. ... same as #6 ...
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6. Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol
FOUND! by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)
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7. Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me
FOUND! @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)
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8. Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks
Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.
I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.
FOUND! Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) - mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)
FOUND? could you be looking for Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ. There are many pictures of bunnies.
SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)
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9. Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad
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10. Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha. [Ah! I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!] I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.
FOUND? Could you be thinking of ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)? Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.
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11. heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!
FOUND! Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:
Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)
we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)
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12. Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!
FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)
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13. Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!
FOUND! by nonny themself. It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)
SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)
SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish: something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)
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14. I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.
FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“
The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)
or this one on ffn:
mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)
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15. I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?
FOUND! @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)
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16. nm
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17. Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him
FOUND? Could you be thinking of Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?
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18. Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn
FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)
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19. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.
Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs. [Thank you!]
FOUND? Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible
(E,193k, wangxian)? It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).
FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)
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20. Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs. [You’re welcome!] Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether
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[My ko-fi.]
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