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#we can appear very detached! but it doesnt mean that we are
rucow · 5 months
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pisces placements rly are the most "you'll never know how i really feel about you" sign.......... the image we show u depends entirely on *you*. on how you treat us, how trustworthy we feel that u are.... we mirror ur energy back at u. if ur superficial and don't have any sort of emotional depth, neither will we. if all u talk about are ur emotional troubles and how sad u are, we'll be there to empathise and relate to u. you wouldn't know that we actually don't even like u. water is a reflective surface after all
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serval1863 · 2 months
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(clutches head and writhes around on the floor) charlotte wh is so fucking. guh. like. (chronic yapping alert + full spoilers under the cut)
you're brought up and raised under a false assumption that you're a genius, the kind who appears only once in 100 years. you're, essentially , coerced into a shady surgery leaving you in (implied) constant pain and permanently stuck with a body that's inaccurate to your mind. and you do it out of devotion because you were a child who'd been thrown away once and by fucking god you need someone, something to latch onto. so of course you'll do anything for the source of that feeling of having your life mean something. having your efforts acknowledged, and being needed. but of course, it's a lie. always was. it falls apart in front of you. should you not be useful, you'll be thrown away. and of course, that breaks you. because well, you kind of always knew that. and you're left to die, in extreme pain, alone. and then you're dead, you've lost everything, and you're forced to simmer on it in a quiet, silent hell where your sole company is unfeeling demons. and you stay in the loop, eternally, re-experiencing your death over, and over, and over.
and like, the quiet, passive hatred charlotte is written with when in the context of all of it is sooo... augh, especially with her parallel to the loud, aggressive lime. charlotte's hatred for humans is distant and nihilistic- people use each other as tools, they deceive each other, attachment is pointless because it's going to be fake anyway. everyone takes the shortest route to benefiting, regardless of who has to be used. her lines about how "kindness and forgiveness allows for evil". her repeated insistence on just killing the other three to noel. you cant trust others. you should just hate everyone, its easier. its why she, at the end, doesn't understand "love" either. because to her, it's always been deception, and something others will take advantage of, so whats the point?
and it's why she bets on ashe - he affirms everything for her. both are people who's extreme devotion to their family caused them to do anything for them, by any means necessary - to harm, to use, anything. i think, to an extent, she can see herself in him. and i think she sees herself in noel too - her hint of sympathy in the hourglass scene, urging him to just give up because it'll end poorly, like it did for her (even if in a different way).
and like, throughout the game, charlotte has this sort of snide detachment from basically everyone. constantly talks about how other people annoy her and how she wants to see as much suffering as possible. but whats always been apparent to me about her is this back and forth she has of very, very slight affection for others before immediately burying it and deciding she "doesnt care". we see it with fiona in the 4th side story in the base game, we see it with noel in the hourglass scene, we see it with claire in the bonus stage, we see it with lime constantly, especially with how she broke down after losing her (if im remembering right anyway, still gotta finish my replay of the sirius conclusion). like, she always immediately covers it up - when in presence of the other demons she claims its part of her scheme, and when not she simply acts like she doesnt actually care. but it's so constant with her that to me it has to be on purpose, and im really, really curious where it goes in future conclusions
anyway i might be wrong about everything and reading her totally wrong, but shes a character i love a lot and ive been thinking about for too long for my own good. i'll come back to this when i finish my replay of sirius's conclusion and can suffer for hours over That One Scene, lol
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lustbile · 2 years
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ah yes my presence has been requested but like…… do u wanna know sexually, romatically or just in general???? jaehyun is…. smthin else LOL like he gives me idgaf vibes but also gives me like ultimate form of romance vibes….. maybe its bc hes an aqua sun but has a taurus moon and pisces rising…. but he also has an aqua venus so likely he would make u chase him lol. def the type to pretend he isnt THAT interested and in all realness probably thinks that open affection and trusting others doesnt seem that safe…. like on one hand hes rly a romantic guy but can also be detached and/or unpredictable!! he has a leo lillith which is insane to me and tells me alot abt him actually, very provocative and visually and sexually appealing (as we all know LOL what a man) hes an aqua stellium which literally just means Emotionally Stunted and Hates Everyone and hes actually rly introverted and easily annoyed by ppl, does not like talking abt how hes feeling (wow an aquarius not liking their own feelings??? shocker) his taurus moon and pisces rising combo r what make him a romantic, w his taurus moon in the second house he tends to only rly entertain/make the first move in a relationship only if hes sure the other party likes him first lol. hes actually very dependant on positive feedback and often looks for admiration but hes also very capable and loyal which is so sweet :,) on the neg side tho w his moon square venus his emotional and romantic needs can actually cause tensions,, and he may not know what he wants. bc of his auqa venus he can come off as stand-offish, is threatened by restrictions of any kind, and will also need his own space. unfortunately, (this is NOT a reflection of him at all, just an observation of this placement in his chart.) he could have affairs, as it is hard for him to define his own boundaries and can get hurt in love very easily. marraige may not be for him, tbh. long distance relationships may seem more attainable or desirable to him tho!! v uncomfortable w grand shows of emotions. hes honestly very open-minded and sees the world the way he wants,, n both his appearances and mannerisms make him quite intriguing to others. (bc of his pisces rising!! honestly not surprised that hes a pisces rising bc he has a v piscean/water sign face/look) sexually hes actually rly more likely to be more into unconventional things, i think. in sex i dont THINK he has a chance of being submissive, if at all. he’s dominant for sure, but not in the way johnny or yuta are. jaehyun idealizes sexuality and love, but hes actually rly rly passionate. i def think hes into your basic rougher kinks: choking, biting, scratching, etc. probably enjoys a bit of slapping, maybe degradation too. could probably into pet play. (puppy moreso than kitten, imo) following on that, probably is elated to let other nct members see you like that. would probably have you sit at his feet in lingerie w your tail and ears, a pretty collar and leash attached to your neck while he has company. it brings out that obsessive need for him to control, and absolutely drives him nuts (especially knowing in the back of his mind that you love and trust him so much that you would let yourself be put in this situation in the first place and enjoy it just as much as he does). i dont think he would ever share, tho, or let anyone watch him fuck you. he seems more like someone who would enjoy sir and master more than daddy when it comes to titles. wants to hear you vocalize everything. affirmations, answering his questions, dissatisfactions, everything. i dont think he’s loud. probably more likely to grunt and growl, and maybe youll get a deep, languide moan when he cums. i do think he’s into somnophilia, the idea of you giving him that level of control, letting him use you like a fleshlight probably rly, rly gets him going. a TEASE. im not a jae bias, but thinking abt him pressing you into the matress w his hand on the back of ur neck and just lowley telling u how bad he wants you, teasing abt how needy u are for his dick. (continuing in another ask lol rip)-🪐
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I’m gonna put the other message in a readmore just so they can be in the same post
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is probably into non-con and honestly, more likely to be into dubcon as hes probably a horny ass bitch. could be into period sex, knife play, and asphyxiation play. would absolutely be the typa man to push your face into his pelvis while you suck him off and plug your nose. thrives off the choking noises you make and the whimper you let out when you pull off his dick and he gives u a lil slap on the face. i feel like jae is on another level when it omes to being freaky, you just have to drag it out of him. theres alot of layers to this man and honestly if you want a relationship w him be prepared to put in WORK lol bc (based on his chart, ffs dont attack me for saying this) any type of insecurities where you get jealous/defensive will probably make him vanish into thin air. will probably let problems sit and rot before confronting them. will be more likely to walk out than to fix things unless hes like RLY in love with you. like i said, be prepared to put in work lol. jaehyun is an enigma but he has such potential to be an incredible partner, lover, and best friend. (also this is the first time im ~actually~ looking at his chart lol dont @ me if some things r wrong or off!!!)
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emmarzhere · 3 years
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3am AU time: Sanders Sides Swap!!
Once again I can’t sleep due to my brain insisting it’s much more important to write down these ideas for a Light and Dark side swap AU than sleep, so 3AM TUMBLR RAMBLE IT IS BABYYYY!!!
So I wanted to try using traits already existing in each character to make their inverses, rather than just swapping traits or completely changing the character’s core values, and these are my initial late night ideas:
(Note: I saved this as a draft and revisited it in the morning / afternoon to make sure it all actually made sense and to add to it with a fresh mind)
(Extra note: I accidentally lost all my additions and the entirety of Patton’s and Virgil’s descriptions by refreshing the page, so it’ll now be written out again in a less formatted way. DAMN YOU TUMBLRRRR!!!!!!)
Roman:
My initial reaction was to make Roman “Pride”, and extend on his egocentric nature (like what is done with many Dark!Roman interpretations), however five minutes of laying in bed thinking about it later I found a trait I felt fit him better: Delusion.
This Roman could still be very much “Netflix kids and family”, living and trying to make Thomas live in a fantasy land where everything is always fine and dandy. This insistence of only seeing things through his figurative or not so figurative rose tinted glasses makes this Roman very naive and hard to get through to, and while on the surface appears very appealing to Thomas (when they first meet Thomas doesn’t understand why Roman counts as a dark side) can be very dangerous if Thomas leans too much into his ways of escaping reality, aka making Thomas a delusional person. The best part of this choice of trait for Roman is that I can still tie in his ego; delusions can be fuel people’s egos, and also to protect them from harsh realities, hence why Delusional works as a role for Roman.
While normally I see Dark Side Roman designed to be an evil prince or king, I decided to go for a more glamorous look which I think fitted my version more: Roman would wear a pristine black and red suit consisting of a red waistcoat, tie and trousers, a black button up shirt and black or red heeled boots. I also wanted his design to link to the white peacock (a rare type caused by a genetic mutation), so I topped off the outfit with either a vintage white shawl or a Cruella style coat (leaning towards Cruella because we know Roman and Disney!) with white peacock feathers attached (still trying to decide if I want Roman to have decorated the feathers with red and black accents or not), and a pair of literal rose tinted glasses to hide his white peacock eyes - pale blue with a glassy look to them which always gives the impression that he is far away, even when he’s not.
Finally his sword is replaced with a grandiose black walking stick with silver details, along with the handle being a silver peacock head (note: possibly detachable from the cane to reveal a silver knife?). I chose this as weapons like these in fiction are often used to appear innocent, only to reveal a hidden depth of skill and character; a description which I think applies well to Delusional Roman.
Extra note: Delusional Roman gets snappy, angry, or even threatening when people try to break him out of or correct him on his delusional ways, though he will often try to slip deeper into his fantasies than actually deal with emotional confrontations.
Extra extra note: Roman is incredibly jealous of his brother as he can’t understand why he’s been accepted despite Roman being the one who creates such wonderfully perfect worlds for Thomas to escape off into! He’s also jealous of how his brother doesn’t care what others think of his work and doesn’t seek validation from the others, not that Roman would ever admit that he does either of those things.
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Patton:
So the 3 main aspects of Patton I felt would work best for a Dark Side are his destructive selflessness, his overly strong morale compass and how he encompasses many of Thomas’ more negative feelings.
I couldn’t decide whether to officially label him as “Denial” or “Repression”, but either way he holds a similar role: he represses his / Thomas’ negative feelings, as well as tries to push Thomas to do the morally right thing (as he still represents Morality, just not as his main trait) which almost always is the selfless option. It’s almost impossible to convince this Patton that his viewpoint is not necessarily the correct choice (he’s in denial that he as Morality can ever be in the wrong), and he becomes hostile when his views are continuously challenged.
The light sides see Patton as the main holder and cause of Thomas’ negative feelings (eg. makes Thomas act selfless and do things for others until he’s burnt out and depressed), and when Thomas is feeling these negative feelings Patton experiences them but more strongly to the point where the others have to force him out of bed (usually Logan) and take care of him until he and Thomas get out of the depressive slump. However once he’s out he will deny that he was the problem and begin pushing Thomas down the self-destructive path again.
While this Patton will deny his depression and many negative feelings, he is still not as upbeat as Happy-Pappy-Pal-Canon-Patton, matching more with how the side acts in more serious moments such as at the end of SvS redux. He will smile and comfort others, but laughter and puns are rarely seen.
Another thing about this dark side Patton is that he is very manipulative (a trait shifted from Janus to Patton), even if he doesn’t believe himself to be. He uses his role as “morale compass” to invalidate other’s opinions if they clash with his, and often emotionally hurts the sides he gets close to by caring for them and performing selfless acts for them to show his love (eg. makes breakfast for the other Darks sides every morning, goes out of his way to learn more about their interests so that they can have someone to talk to them about) followed by him simplifying complex morale dilemmas in a way that makes it appear that his option is the only correct one, making the others feel bad about their differing viewpoints (a bit like how Roman felt invalidated and morally wrong throughout SvSR as his views didn’t line up with Patton’s).
This Patton wears a worn out pale blue shirt with a fraying black jumper over the top, leaving only the collar of the shirt visible. He has frog features too; with blots of green skin scattered all over his body, slightly webbed hands and he croaks! The splodges grow larger the more emotion Patton represses. He also really doesnt like his frog features as they don’t align with the perfect image of himself that Patton has in his head, so he tries to cover them up as much as possible with his black jumper, pale blue gloves (leather ones as he tried woollen ones and his frog skin made them go sticky) and baggy trousers, although there isn’t much he can do to hide the blots on his face or his brown frog eyes....
(He’s also constantly worn out as frog-pops has no clue what self-care even means)
Extra note: Patton goes through a sort of alternate character development to canon Patton, where as he begins to be accepted by some of the Light Sides and Thomas they discuss how he doesn’t just represent Thomas’ negative feelings, but all of his feelings; a lot of them are just also accidentally repressed alongside the “bad” feelings. As time goes on Patton becomes more cheerful and goofy, even dropping the occasional dad joke, although never quite to the levels of canon Patton.
Extra extra note: The happier this Patton is, the less faded the blues on his clothes become (much like Virgil’s eyeshadow), until at moments of peak happiness his gloves and shirt are canon Patton blue (eg. when Thomas is with Nico, or when Janus and Thomas first accepted him). Cute blue embroidered designs also form on his black jumper at peak happiness, such as butterflies, simple cats, pawprints and frogs.
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Logan:
So Logan is the only side I have decided to leave with the same official trait title: Logic, although he also has the orange trait Anger within him. He will also be taking the place of Virgil as the Dark Side who is prematurely accepted.
However Logan here is still different from canon Logan: he represses and denies his emotions even more than canon due to the other dark sides attitudes towards him (Delusional Roman in particular does not appreciate the truth bombs and logical reasoning the calculator watch drops), leading to more angry outbursts / orange showing through. This makes Logan a horribly unstable side, with him appearing completely apathetic to any sort of feeling for an undetermined period of time until he next reaches his limit and has an explosion of rage - he holds both Logic and Anger/Orange in him here, but the anger shows through a lot more due to his circumstances.
His clothes are always shredded and falling apart due to him tearing them when he’s angry + the rage can come out like an explosion that wrecks everything in his surrounding area, including the clothes on him. He sticks to plain black t shirts and trousers to start with as he claims he doesn’t see the point in putting effort into an outfit as he has no desire to please others.
However when Thomas starts making videos Logan can’t help but show up from time to time. He is unsure why as he could not care less what Thomas or the idiotic “Light Sides” think of him, though he figures while he’s there he might as well educate the buffoons so they can reach more informed, educated conclusions to their constant dilemmas.
At first the Lights don’t take his presence well, and more times than one he’d leave towards the end of an episode to explode in the privacy of his room. But surprisingly they eventually start listening to him, considering his inputs, and Logan leaves filming shoots satisfied, even popping into the Light Side’s area occasionally outside of filming days to talk to them.
However Logan notices a pattern as time goes on: the more he’s around the Light Sides, the less he goes Orange. He tests it by spending a week only hanging with the Lights and finds that his anger barely built up at all. Logan quickly reaches the conclusion that his orange trait isn’t actually uncontrollable, it’s how the others treated him that made it so hard to act civil. That is what leads to Logan hating the Dark Sides (much like canon Virgil does) and finally joining the lights.
Soon after being accepted Logan has an outfit change, where he goes from his burnt, tattered rags to his canon outfit, as he finally feels stable and appreciated enough to trust himself in not ruining a nice new Logic outfit. From then on his journey is about accepting that he has feelings and learning that they’re valid.
Extra note: Logan’s worst fear is the idea of going Orange in front of Thomas or the Light Sides - he finally has people who listen to him and if they see his orange side it might scare them off or they’ll lose any respect for him they had. Worst of all they could get hurt…
Extra extra note: Neither Thomas or any of the Light Sides apart from Janus are aware that Logan holds the Orange trait, believing that he only ever was Logic, just more apathetic to start with (and they actually all buy his reasoning of his old outfit being trashed due to him not caring enough about appearances to fix it, to Janus’s dismay but not disbelief - a bunch of himbos, the lot of them!).
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Virgil:
Virgil still represents the “Fight or Flight” response in this AU, just without the excess Anxiety. His official title would be “Instinct”, and he would be more confident than canon Virgil. The decrease in anxiety would also make him better at making rational decisions, though he would still freak out and make not-so-great choices in stressful situations.
Rather than a spider, I decided to link this Virgil more strongly with a cat, with heightened senses, lightning reflexes and eyes that reflect light much like a cats. These additions also match with his change of aesthetic from patchwork emo to fantasy vigilante mixed with bright purple punk, plus the addition of purple eyeshadow applied actually correctly. I made this choice as both canon and this Virgil see themselves as a protector of Thomas, yet Virgil is still slightly more morally grey than the other 2 Light Sides (sort of like canon Logan) hence a darker design. Plus is it really Virgil at all if he doesn’t spend his free time listening to MCR?
Virgil also takes the role of canon Roman when it comes to Patton being accepted: he initially falls strongly for Patton’s caring qualities, with the Dark side helping sooth his anxious moments and suggesting that Thomas make other non-selfish options that don’t make Virgil feel as anxious as some of Janus’ options. So for Patton’s first few conflicts Virgil sticks up for him, claiming he’s not all bad. Then he witnesses how Patton’s selfless choices affect Thomas and realises he’s been manipulated; there was no reason to go all the way with Patton’s choice and hurt Thomas, yet Patton had convinced him that it was either his way or the wrong way, no compromises available.
So by the time Patton reveals his name Virgil really dislikes him and makes a snarky remark in which Patton replies with a jab at how he didn’t realise being Thomas’ protector meant that you could be as evil as you wanted with none of the consequences. Virgil’s equivalent line to Roman’s hero one could be something like “Don’t you trust me?” or “I thought I was your best friend?” - then again Roman’s hero line does work with this version of Virgil.
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Janus:
This was one of the easiest traits to decide: with a lot of his more manipulative and deceitful traits being distributed between Patton and Roman, Janus is officially titled “Self-Preservation”, and while he doesn’t claim the father role like Patton does, he is still very much seen as a parental figure and guiding light for Thomas and the lights. He tries to be warm and welcoming to the Light sides (part of his role is to take care of Thomas, hence taking care of the parts that make Thomas), and they naturally gather around him as he gives off a safe aura.
However he is not quite as kind to the Darks - he still has the role of managing what truths Thomas can handle, so he controls which sides stay hidden from him. The darks being revealed tends to be down to him slipping up or the side finding a way around his defences more than by him deciding Thomas is ready to meet them, and each time it happens he beats himself up over it and tries to work harder to not let it happen again. The problem he doesn’t realise is that the slip ups tend to happen in the first place due to him overworking himself to make the others / Thomas happy - he doesn’t quite perform the self-care he preaches about.
I’m still not quite sure where I want to go with Janus’ outfit: the initial thought was to put him in a more Patton inspired attire, however this is still Janus, and he is still a theatrical boi. I ended up settling for a mainly cottage-core aesthetic with a flowy long sleeve yellow shirt made out of a light fabric, brown trousers and an overly large sunhat. He also drapes himself in bright patterned shawls and wraps (still predominantly yellow in colour) as while he doesn’t look as snake-like as he canonically does he still has certain snake traits, such as a weakness to the cold and a yellow tint to his left eye.
However snake features do begin to form later on into the AU as Thomas’ views on Lights and Darks alter over time: he begins to realise that despite how it appears Janus is not always in the right, such as how if it hadn’t been for mistakes Thomas would never have met the Darks and learnt to grow as a person - in fact if Self-Preservation got the say in everything he would likely do little growing whatsoever. He and in turn the other Lights begin to find Janus too stifling until SvSR happens where under the stress Janus becomes a true snake boi. The scales and proper snake eye don’t fade afterwards due to Thomas’ subconscious change in perspective, and while it is a big new insecurity at first over time Janus learns to accept these new changes to himself and the Mindscape, and begins adding a touch of darker mystical aesthetic to his look (slightly fantasy fortune teller based) to match his new look better - although cottage-core remains his go to!!
Extra note: In this AU Janus is definitely the side that would most likely be seen going around the Mindscape in a dress (Roman would also wear dresses on occasion but mainly only within his daydreams in the Imagination); he is all about taking care of yourself, and that includes wearing what makes you happy! Though I’m still kind of tempted to put him in a dress full time...
Extra extra note: while Janus is very much the “adult figure” in the Light Mindscape, he still has his goofy moments like in canon - in general he is more relaxed and jokey with the others...though he’s still a sarcastic shet.
(I struggled finding images that matched at all with the ideas in my head, so take these as very vague links to the actual design)
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Remus:
Oh boy, Remus is a fun one...
So now that Roman is the twin known by a different title (like how canon Remus is referred to as “Intrusive Thoughts”), Remus now has claim to the Creativity role!! However Remus isn’t going to do a 180 personality wise - he’s still going to be a chaotic gremlin, just with a light side twist.
His design is purposely all over the place: his aesthetic is mainly pirate based with a long sleeve pirate shirt, loose black trousers and heeled black and silver pirate boots, alongside a dark green pirate jacket and slightly brighter bandana. However he has other seemingly random elements thrown in there, such as a white and green hero cape (fuck what Edna says) coming off the back of the coat, and random colourful potions in the green belt under his coat alongside a knight’s sword. This mismatched look is due to the type of imagination Remus provides: while he still represents and creates intrusive thoughts, he also creates adventure stories and life goals/dreams for Thomas, hence takes a form that has mixed elements from Thomas’ self-inserts and protagonists for said stories. While he personally loves his messy design (do you know how much fun can be had with magic potions, swords, tentacles, and a day in the Imagination? Remus sure does), it does cause some arguments between him and Logan over how illogical him and his ideas are (like canon Roman and Logan).
Roman makes this Remus....uncomfortable. Not necessarily because of his ideas (those are just dull and vomit-worthy in his opinion), but because of how he can’t separate dreams and reality - while Remus loves coming up with Imaginative stories for Thomas and setting slightly outlandish goals for the future, he has a level of awareness that Roman lacks in how he knows Thomas won’t ACTUALLY end up being a morally grey pirate travelling the seas to claim back the magical pendant of octopus powers (unless...). He’s also uneasy with how easily Thomas can fall for Roman’s delusions of grandeur and romance, in fact it opens up quite a major insecurity on how despite being the “good” twin his brother seems to succeed more as the creative role, eg. how Thomas will come up with a dream future career path, husband and even car in a matter of seconds yet Remus has to slave and hone in on decent ideas for weeks to reach his own standard.
This leads to another thing about Remus: while he doesn’t care what others think of his ideas (the trait I mentioned earlier that Roman was jealous of) he hold a high standard to himself and gets extremely happy when he perfects an idea. Besides he still wants his ideas to actually be used by Thomas as them being dismissed for not being good enough does hurt (a bit like how Remus got frustrated in the recent episode with how his “good” intrusive creations were being torn apart by Logan’s methods).
Extra note: The fact that Thomas doesn’t like or appreciate some of his darker ideas / intrusive thoughts doesn’t bother Remus too much as he tends to put less effort into them as he knows they won’t be liked - he just can’t help that they pop into his head and he has to get them out - repression is bad after all! However maybe there can be some episode drama about Remus wanting to be less stifled and have Thomas at least consider some of his more mature themes that he thinks would be good to expand upon.
Extra extra note: Just assuring the fact that Remus not caring what the others think about his work does not correlate with him not caring about the others. He loves his fellow Light Sides and Thomas - he’s just confident in his own craft and while appreciates advice and improvements from the others (he and Logan have a field day on creating biologically accurate gore together) he also is aware that HE is Creativity, and he understands his craft better than the others.
Extra extra EXTRA note: Wasn’t really sure how to put it in there but Remus still represents Thomas’ lust. Do with that what you want.
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Thomas:
So all these changes to the sides....of course it has it’s effects on character!Thomas! However I’m getting REALLY tired now so this will be done in bullet points:
Not as Disney-centric as canon/real Thomas.
Has less issues with Anxiety, and more issues dealing with Depression
His morals start off a bit more flexible than canon due to always having we-live-in-a-society Janus as his guide
Still has intrusive thoughts, but not as debilitating with the lower levels of anxiety and the much better relationship with Remus.
Still overworks himself trying to help others (nice one Patton!)
Might have a different career due to Roman being more out the frame - maybe goes into writing instead with Remus’ more diverse form of creativity.
Does explore more diverse creative ideas and darker themes, but still out of habit sometimes puts down possibly good ideas as on surface level they appear too morally wrong.
However could possibly be in a non-creative career, and his major longing for a new career path could be what allows Roman through for the first time.
Less dad jokes but still incredibly goofy with both Remus and Janus being more present.
I think I’m going to wrap up there for now! I may make some art for this at some point, but I also want other’s opinions and ideas for this AU.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!
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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years
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oh gosh i have no idea if this makes any sense whatsoever and i think i've mentioned it before, but have i ever fully explained my "elves are beings of the Void" headcanon before? i dont think i have?ok hold on let me do that because im a little attached to it.
(also this is just me going full fantasy. there is no basis in reality bc i find it so much more interesting to fuck around and find out when it comes to stuff like this.)
okay so the basic idea goes that elves aren't fully corporeal creatures, by that i mean that their soul and fundamentals of their being are rooted in the void instead of on the earth.
by that i mean...it's a little complicated, but throughout the series the elves have placed an importance (and, to some extent, represent) the idea of balance and structure, yes? so i was thinking, since all the other species have strong connections to the earth (aside from humans as they are depicted in keeper but i will expand on that later) like the gnomes being like, actual plants, the dwarves burrowing through the earth (and all around the other species having much more of a theme surrounding nature and the planet than the elves), where does that put the elves?
it's strange they're so...weirdly detached from it, instead placing importance on the stars, light, and other such celestial(-esque) things (and while im 100% aware this is most likely a limitation of SM's writing instead of a purposeful detail im electing to ignore that), so then i thought....what if it's because they're not really beings of the earth, but of celestial origin (to which i just said 'fuck it' and decided to just means that equals the void)?
and going back to that balance thing- that could tie in to it! and specifically as to their appearance. elves look very very similar to humans, minus the aging, and since in keeper humans very much represent a 'bad' side of things that still must be protected and cared for, and i was like....well, the elves are constantly compared to humans all the time, so it would kind of make sense to go all-out and make them the mirror of humans, taking on a human appearance because of, idk, void shenanigans? it's just a neat idea.
and it could also explain abilities and the whole heart/head emotions thing. like, i know abilities are said to come from the limbic system or whatever (which leads me to further theorize inflicting isnt really an ability since it doesnt even originate from the place abilities do but oh boy thats another topic for another day), but like....idk, the idea that your brain did something and now you can control fire is. well yknow. but if elves were manifestations of the void, and the Void is All and Everything, then it makes sense that some elves would have strong connections to fire or water or just be able to do weird stuff.
i mean, people's minds dont function like that in real life, but then elves might not even be reading a brain but reading like...the impressions they get from the void? if that makes sense? and the heart/head emotions thing- that's really confused me, but it would make sense if elves didnt function like humans? so elven 'hearts' are much more metaphorical than what we know hearts to be- maybe their 'hearts' would be more akin to the human idea of a 'soul', and its distinction from the head/mind being that the soul is the core but the mind is like...all the other stuff.
but now we get to the hell of it and the real problem with all of this (aka me debunking my own headcanon): elves absolutely arent creatures of balance! hell no!
so that leads me to theorize, since what i said above does make some sense, that maybe they used to be, but their own pride, arrogance, sloth, etc led them to have less and less of a connection to the void? like, they were originally creatures of the void in all its infinite glory, but through their own apathy and ignorance have fallen out of its grasp without even realizing it.
did any of that make sense. i have no idea.
and oh, wow, this is...rather long. hope you enjoyed it all?
- pyro
you have not explained it to me before! and if you've posted about it I haven't seen it yet! however I am very curious to hear about this because I think I've seen a little of this come through in your theorizing about the wings au and the creatures I created for it (not a bad thing, just an observation)
also I have no problem ignoring reality for a little bit if it means I get to hear one of your cool ideas. I know it's kinda the basis of a lot of my blog but i swear I am capable of thinking in a way that isn't motivated by logic /lh
okay so when you first started talking about their interest in the celestial I was half convinced you were leading up to saying that the elves are actually creatures of light--which allows them to light leap--and that they see their home and likeness in the stars, hence their obsession. but! i think that can also connect to what you were actually saying about them being void. you made an excellent point about all the other creatures being connected to the earth and other corporeal things (which i think i've discussed in the past, how the elves are all other elements. oh that also kinda relates to your point about elves valuing balance and structure!)
the elves are constantly talking about preserving the earth and nature and the creatures, but they don't seem to have much of a connection to it. so where does that put them? I'm gonna get a little off topic here but you inspired a thought so I'm rolling with it, hope you don't mind! going with their world revolving around light like you brought up, I think the concept of darkness is fascinating the way they approach it. they don't like it, generally. they have skills specifically so it won't incapacitate them (night vision) and everything they do is to get rid of dark, in a way. (realizing this might relate to monsters. oops. going with it!) they have night vision and buildings designed to reflect small sources of light to have bigger effects, they literally wrap themselves up in light and let it scatter them into pieces to travel. it's almost like they crave it.
i'm going to pose the thought that maybe in this case, darkness isn't the absence of light, but the hunger for it. it devours light, absorbs it and is never satisfied as long as it exists. if elves are creatures of the void and we use this train of thought, maybe that's why they seek out light and use it so often. there's this instinctual hunger to be near the light of the stars, to surround themselves with it even if it is their undoing. this infernal desire that they cannot escape. just a thought tho!
oo your comparison as a mirror to humans!! I love it!! Elves and humans being so similar has always drawn my interest so I have to say I absolutely adore this and am very invested. my mind is saying "humans are alive and elves are dead (as in not real/living the way humans are)." you know like burning with life vs the hollowness of the void--kind relates to that relentless hunger for light I was thinking about. oh that could also explore the idea of perfection in humans the whole "being mistakes and being alive makes you human." The elves flaunting superiority when there is no substance to them aside from void and they don't live is really interesting. I think that'd make a great premise for one of those movies where the characters like "no being human is all about making shitty decisions and fighting and making up and emotions and feeling."
ah "the Void is All and Everything" that's a great way to put it. I've been talking more from the Void is Nothing and Empty perspective, but flipping it around to represent everything there is and all the gaps in between reality is awesome!! kinda reminds me of dream stuff from The Raven Cycle, how looking at is didn't make sense because it seemed to be everything all at once. if the void is everything and the elves are void, does that make them everything, too? Are they actual manifestations of their ability instead of it just coming from the limbic system? Is a pyrokinetic made out of fire, in a way? Are shades composed of shadow come to life? I don't know how this would work for all abilities but it makes me wonder if in this scenario they'd have like a...higher concentration? of whatever ability they have in their personal void of a body.
also brains are so weird. in my a&p class last semester there was several chapters about the brain and it is such a confusing organ. I wasn't consciously aware of how much we don't know about it--there were so many things where it was like "we thought it just did this but turns out it actually does this too." I think taking that principle for voi elves would be so cool. Like they don't understand their minds the way they think they do, or maybe that's a self protective measure because trying to comprehend their own existence is too complex. So many ideas! Like you said, elves are compared to humans a lot but they're really so different!! if their minds function differently that changes so much about them. and the idea of a soul...I have to say I'm intrigued. could it be like the essence of who they are? who they are within the void is contained within that soul/heart, their true nature. their minds/head are just their understanding of that and how they present it to others, but there's a smaller, secret version of them underneath that's like pure void. I don't know if that's what you meant but it's what it made me think of (also reminded me of the second soul from the Peculiar Children series (aka miss peregrines))
and you're right! elves aren't really balanced at all! they think they are and they want it, but they're not succeeding. This makes me think back to my hunger for light idea, maybe they recognize on some basic level that they are out of balance and are subconsciously trying to fix it, but the problem doesn't register on a conscious level.
oo they're loosing the connection to the void? that's so cool. I mean probably not great for their species but concept wise I love it. and if it was their own pride/sloth/etc that's so cool! their own flaws that they can't recognize are bringing about a demise and disconnect they aren't aware of. that. I love that so much. just as time goes on they become less and less and they don't even know what's changing.
also yes all of this did make sense and I enjoyed all of it! I might have skipped over a few things accidentally because of the length, but if so I didn't mean to and you're welcome to point them out again if you want to talk about them more!
one last question/thought I had. sophie can enter the void, so I wonder if that makes her like...a higher power of some kind? like she has the connection the ancient elves used to have and is therefore more pure elf than anyone else right now. or do different abilities have different levels of connection? because conjurers also interact with the void, so maybe they'd lose the connection slower. just a thought! also my response is getting long so I'll stop here but seriously this is so cool!!
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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years
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tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.
imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????
ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 
ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.
listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 
you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 
eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here
#tw eating disorder ment// /#long post// /#tldr;;; hey guess what guys. you know what you should do if you think you see a body check??#compliment em. just avoid the topic of their weight/size/etc or their disorder (even to encourage them to recover. dont start there)#literally pm them and tell them you like their hair. their clothes. their voice. their personality. their art. their username. ANYTHING#that HUMANIZES THEM AS A PERSON OUTSIDE THEIR DISORDER#and BUILDS FOUNDATIONS FOR SELF LOVE!!!!!#/UNCONDITIONAL/ SELF LOVE that reminds them their value lies in MORE THAN THEIR BODY TYPE#that is so unfathomably fuckign IMPORTANTTTTT YOU GUYYYYS DONT UNDERSTAND I#literally please at the very least if u arent comfy with that just stop . Insulting. underweight bodies. that is literally.#'''enabling''' their habits. u have to be literally impossibly ignorant to think that wont make them worse. so. fuck you#if you actually 'care' abt these suffering ppl the way you claim uhhh improve your behavior after hearing all the flaws with it pointed out#puhlease#?#instead of just. sticking the r3xies in the corner and saying 'it makes me uncomfy so if i cant see it it doesnt matter'#like why tf do ppl assume so much of this is about 'attention' or rather positive attention for self destruction#and therefor ANY ATTENTION AT ALL must be bad and shunning is the right answer. like????#bro just. put in literally an ounce of effort here and give them the right KIND of attention which is easy to figure out if ur educated.#godddddddduhh#yes im sorry but the mentally ill slowly dying ppl DO require your attention actually. if ppl are in danger 'for attention' its uh.#more important that you just. dont ignore that and figure out the most nuanced responses Later actually#yall just dont want the responsibility on you if you say the wrong thing and im sorry but to an extent thats just... kinda... selfish#they need ya buddy you dont have to be bffs with every single one of em but you could just like. treat em like a person at least shruugg#all im asking is that yall educate yourselves a little better and stop this horrible shit
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the-original-skipps · 2 years
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Hiiii skippsss 💖
I got kinda shyyyy sorry, but here it goes(?)
Rn I'm waiting for Black Friday so I can buy a new phone bc my current one is old and kinda almost died when I played genshin on it (sorry if my english is weird, spanish is my main language).
You are so niiiice 💖 its just that, I'm so curious I must try to do stuff I'm interested in at least once. And indeed friend sleeping and napping is a hobby and a style of life, I also love the feeling and my dreams are so cool, everytime I get obsessed by smth I dream of it. Already joined Toman and became Bonten's baby a couple times(?).
I read what you posted about bonten Mikey, it was amaziiiing, idk why but you catch him very well so its easy to connect with the scenario. When I read the prologue/reaction I started thinking about what I would do, I would like to keep the baby because its our baby and I already love him, but if having a baby was something he couldn't do, I would reaaally consider having it, since I wouldn't like for us to separate. Talk everything with Mikey, decide together, don't ask him to do anything but saying he is very important for me, that I love him and I want to be together no matter what, that having a family with him would be a dream come true but I won't impose on him. He gets me so soft, damn.
Anyhoooow, I'll be back to supporting you from the shadows(?) if you hear a "you are awesome skipps!! woo!" out of nowhere, it was me, most likely.
Also, thank you so muuuch for offering support when I was feeling down, it really made me feel better.
Hello!! Ahhh bun bun 💕 what can I call you? Hehe honestly thank you so much for taking the time to write this it made my day 🥺 you can talk to me anytime so no need to be nervous! Ohhh a new phone that's so exciting OMG GENSHIN? we should totally play together and your English is great 😄 noo you're the nice one 🥺 I see well I think it's a great thing to try out new and different things haha yess sleeping and nap is a total way of life I'm glad I found someone who agrees with me
oh ohhh same! That's so cool! Lately mikey has been appearing in my dreams probably a sign for me to open my damn ask box already lol
Ahhh thank youu that's such a huge compliment 🥺 for some reason I've come across so many writings that depict bonten mikey as still the 15 year old mikey which I think isnt who bonten Mikey is. Bonten mikey is someone who has given up being good and completely fell into his dark impulses. Sure he still eats taiyaki like he used to but he's a completely different person now. Bright smiles? Laughing? Affectionate? Nope that's not bonten Mikey for me. He's emotionally detached, quiet and a broken man. It wouldn't make sense for him to be all happy with a pregnancy right away when this man's life is so broken he doesnt know what to feel anymore sorry for the rant haha
Yesss yess I like your way of thinking since forcing him would only make things worse the man is so unstable but what's important is time and understanding and eventually he'll come around ahhh just thinking about him being happy makes me wanna cry tears of joy poor man has been through too much
Awww sweetness! Thank you so much for your support it really means alot to me ❤❤❤ you're always welcome on my blog to rant or just talk about random things I'll always be here for you 🥺 I'm glad you're feeling better remember to drink lots of water and rest okiee? I hope you have a wonderful day/night sweetness! 💕
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huntsman-ash · 3 years
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RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7
Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 
Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?
And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.
Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...
And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?
Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 
Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.
Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.
Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.
Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 
I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 
Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...
Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 
Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 
Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING
Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 
...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY
Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 
Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.
Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.
Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?
And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.
Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.
RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out
And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.
Staring angrily it seems.
“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”
Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.
I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 
Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.
 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.
Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?
Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.
I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 
According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 
Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?
Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.
Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.
Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.
Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.
Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”
Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 
Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.
Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.
Or what I figure RT figures is proper.
Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.
Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.
Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.
Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.
I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 
Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.
NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”
Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.
Awww now shes getting the shakes too.
Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.
Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.
What the fuck is Emerald doing there?
Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.
Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after
Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.
But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.
Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.
And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.
Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.
These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery
No lies from them both here honestly.
Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?
Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)
Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.
Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE
I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...
May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 
Dramatic lightning flash
Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.
Further proof honestly.
Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.
Coordination between farm boy and professor.
Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.
Hazel peabrain go THUNK
Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.
Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.
Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.
Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 
Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.
Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 
I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.
Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE
Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.
Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.
This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult
Seriously though...
I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.
Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren
ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.
This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.
The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS
I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 
You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 
Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!
Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 
I feel like thats bad writing.
Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.
Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.
...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...
Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...
Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.
Also return of the shitty 3D grass...
Marrows gonna defect.
Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!
So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 
AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK
Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.
Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.
Shes gonna hug him isnt she.
CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.
Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?
No. It stopped...Bolide?
No. PENNY.
Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.
RIP Penny.
The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 
Oh well.
And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!
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That thing about assumptions on whose more openly affectionate of malec being opposite is so true lol! Like you expect Magnus to be the teasing in public/PDA type but Alecs the one who grabs his ass and kisses him on the cheek and wraps an arm around his waist or shoulders, the one who initiates hand holding and kisses in public, the one who whispers dirty things in his ear?? And magnus adores every minute he just doesnt trust himself to initiate in case it's Too Much or hes being "clingy" :'[
ABSOLUTELY and i think it’s mostly because people don’t realize that magnus and alec’s outer appearance, demeanor-wise, is not only fake, but effectively a defense/coping mechanism
i mean i’ve already talked a lot about magnus many times and it’s been basically canonically established that magnus’ devil-may-care, playboy, detached attitude is the result of him trying to close himself off after too many experiences with abuse
and closing yourself off doesn’t just mean not allowing himself to feel, it also means not letting anyone get too close to you. but magnus can’t really do the “completely isolating yourself in a tower” thing, like Raphael does, because he craves contact and touch and attention and being alone with his thoughts is one of the worst things he can do to himself. 
also, he’s too much of a softie, he’s still there, trying to represent warlocks politically, taking people under his wing. there’s just too much he needs to do, wants to do, so isolating himself physically won’t work. ergo, he needs a facade. a ruse. something between his feelings and others, something to keep him safely isolated and away from people who will- could hurt him and this way he also helps them too, because who needs to have such a broken, despicable, whiny murderer of a friend who brings nothing but emotional baggage to the table?
so he builds this uncaring, detached, but fun persona; someone whose company you can enjoy a lot, who will take you on adventures, who can do a lot of stuff for you, but who’s not deserving FITTING for a deeper relationship, even if just friendship-wise. he’s shallow, he only cares about the Exorbitant Amounts Of Money™ that he’ll get from his “favors” (which is hysterical because I don’t think I’ve seen him being paid a single fucking time in the entire show, not even when fucking lilith showed up at his house claiming to be some warlock he’s never met and asked for a potion, he literally gave it to her for free because she mentioned ragnor. he’s too kind for his own good, honestly. and god the amount of unpaid work he did for these goddamn shadowhunters. unbelievable. he deserved so much better. but anyway, i digress), he’s impulsive and stubborn and listens to no one, he’s all about partying and fashion and sex. so how could he possibly be like in a relationship, if not the teasing one who’s all over the other, showing them off to people, grabbing their ass, gushing over them or whatever. the most surprising part, honestly, would be to see magnus getting in a relationship at all, considering what an unfixable lothario he is and his general disdain for complicated matters - at least in most people’s eyes
as for Alec, well, for many, he’s probably the picture of the Perfect Shadowhunter. clear mind, cool head, cold heart. a soldier so perfect he’s almost a machine, and has never learnt empathy, much less love
it’s obvious that none of this is true, once you take a look. he’s clearly suffering and in a constant battle with himself, not only who he is and who he’s attracted to, but also what he actually believes in - and look, i’m not saying he’s perfect or some kind of woke white savior or anything, cuz he did and said some shitty stuff both in s1 and after it. but he’s also the one who told magnus “take what you need” when magnus needed his strength, and the one who refused to let magnus use his magic to clean the loft when he could do it himself and allow him to rest. and that says a lot. when everyone else, including clary, who supposedly wasn’t even raised in racist shadowhunter culture, treated magnus like a tool, the means to an end, alec remembered magnus’ humanity
so, upon closer inspection, most people would think that he’s just Repressed™. sure, there’s a lot going on in there, that man is conflicted af, and it’s actually a pity. were he raised in another culture, one that wasn’t so set on stripping you of your humanity, he could’ve been a great man. he could have been happy, too. goes to show you how cruel shadowhunters are, even to their own kind. 
so for those people, alec is almost a pity case. he’s stuck in his oppression, helpless, confined. shadowhunter values have been drilled into him so deep that he can’t face his feelings anymore. he lies to himself and smothers any semblance of a “rebellious” thought before it even comes to mind. he’s all but brainwashed, basically
but that’s not exactly true, either
and look, don’t get me wrong, because of course i know that alec struggled like crazy to come to terms with his identity and his attraction. but alec is not brainwashed. if anything, he’s shockingly self-aware 
when he’s in shock after he finds out about his parents and the arranged marriage, he says, “i’ve done everything that they’ve asked, i’ve dedicated all of me to the clave”. he knows exactly what he was sacrificing for them, he knows that there’s a line between what he believes in and what he does because it’s what’s he supposed to, and he knows where it is, too. when he goes on his first date with magnus, he says “i always knew i couldn’t get what i wanted, until you came along”. knew, not thought. it’s not that alec never considered it, always thought it was out of his realm of possibility, couldn’t face the idea; it’s that he thought it over, came to the conclusion that it couldn’t happen, and resigned himself to it. in alec’s eyes, he was making a choice
now, don’t misquote me, because obviously it’s not really a choice when you’re between losing everything you’ve ever had, including your family, or being who you are. i’m not saying that alec chose to be in the closet, i’m saying that he saw it that way. that he was perfectly aware of who he was, and what he wanted, and what he thought, but he knew he couldn’t act on it. there’s a fundamental difference between the way alec acts, and lying or hiding from yourself
so alec is not repressed in the freudian sense of the word, where his desires are all subconscious and whatnot, but in the sense that he won’t act on them
i think alec was never quite good at lying to himself (or anyone, really, but specially not himself. he’s painfully logical and introspective, and he over analyzes everything, including himself. i’m also like this and believe me when i say that it’s almost impossible for me to lie to myself, even when i want to. my therapist and psychiatrist both think it’s appalling lol. lying to yourself is a survivorship skill that i think neither alec nor i ever had)
and then we have the third group of people, the people who realize that, who know that alec knows and actively and consciously represses his desires anyway, but who think that alec is too powerless, too weak, to break out of it. basically another pity case, the poor lightwood boy, so hurt and powerless to do anything about it. 
all of these people are wrong
alec is not weak, he’s- incredibly strong, really. like the shit he did when he came out, that was incredible. and before that, just heading out of the institute to go to magnus’ and help him heal luke when that went straight against clave’s orders? holy shit. straight up ignoring his mom’s calls? id literally die of anxiety before ever being able to do that. and after s1 too, he continuously chose magnus, continuously faced all sorts of enemies, he threatened maryse, who was always the monster under his bed, without batting an eye
alec’s always been strong, and brave, and self-aware. and that’s why his relationship with magnus was way less about figuring out what he wanted or learning how to express his feelings and desires, and way more about allowing himself to do exactly what he wanted. most people would think that alec would need time to adjust to being in a relationship, to being happy, to not looking over his shoulder after every touch or word. that alec would need help to figure out what he was into, what he liked, how to do things, how to feel and to love. but he didn’t, because alec knows himself way too well. once he decided that he could get what he wanted, he just did it and never looked back 
(because he knows how strong he is, too, and there’s an advantage in being trained to be a soldier and diplomat - he’s very aware of his own strengths and how to use them) 
so yeah, there is the reason everyone is wrong and shocked: people assumed that magnus knew what he wanted and was comfortable in his own skin, while alec didn’t. but it’s actually the other way around
if you look at their relationship, the “insecure one” (obviously there’s no such thing as “the insecure one”, everyone has their insecurities, but you know what i mean) was magnus. alec was ready for sex before him, and it seemed that it never occured to alec that he could have fears surrounding that. magnus was the one who was always worried that something would be the Last Straw, make alec leave him. magnus was hesitant to make big gestures of love or just be sappy and romantic, and alec was like “we’ve been dating for 3 months, i think it’s appropriate to propose to magnus”. magnus was scared and insecure, and alec gave zero (0) shits
(not with everything, obviously. i’m not trying to say magnus was the helpless uwu one who needed fixing. just that when it comes to their relationship, magnus was more hesitant than alec was)
because magnus was the one who had been repressing what he wanted. he was the one who couldn’t face the idea of falling in love, of allowing himself to be vulnerable, of being with someone else. after camille, after all the hurt and abuse, he wasn’t ready, and he needed time not only to allow himself to feel, but also to figure out how he feels - to get rid of this deep conviction that he’s worthless, that he should accept crumbs and not look back because it’s the best he’ll ever had. i’ve said that before, but that scene in s2 when magnus gets mad at alec for being a rude bitch, that’s so significant. the magnus from a few years before wouldn’t have said anything, would have just let alec treat him and make excuses for him. “oh he’s new to this,” “oh he was stressed,” “well there’s his brother”, “i was being annoying,” “it’s not his fault”. because that’s what you do when you’ve been through abuse. magnus got into their relationship unwilling to accept being only given crumbs, and unwilling to be anyone’s punchbag. not that alec would do him like that, but it’s important that magnus wouldn’t let him. especially because alec is kind of a dumb bitch who believes people when they say “it’s ok” way too often, so he might not have realized he was hurting magnus, had they met when magnus was in a different headspace
anyway, what i was talking about before i went on yet another big tangent about magnus and his abuse recovery? ah yes, repression
basically what i’m trying to say is: while both magnus and alec struggled with coming to terms with who they are, who they love, and loving and respecting themselves, by the time they got together magnus was the one who needed to be eased into things. he needed time and space to relearn how to be in a relationship, and to be happy in it. while alec needed to jump headfirst into what he wanted and not look back
and look, not to be a disgusting malec stan, but that’s one of the many reasons why they are literal soulmates work so well together. because magnus has been needing someone who loves him so deeply and expresses it so fearlessly, because he’s unused to it, because he’s way too insecure and convinced that he won’t get or doesn’t deserve it. and alec also needs to be able to express his love with abandon, he needs to be affectionate, to tell magnus that he’s beautiful and that every day they’re together is a dream and to give him gifts and to take him to the lock thing and make a romantic dinner with ten dozen red roses because for so long he didn’t allow himself. obviously they both love and are loved, and they both love each other equally and fiercely, and magnus also always expresses it, it’s not a one-way thing. but to alec, being able to express his love and affection for magnus is a wonder, it’s something that he’s still in awe of, realizing that he gets to have this, to be in love and let the whole world see. to say exactly what he feels. i think that’s one of the reasons why alec never beats around the bush, just goes straight into “it’s moments like this, when i’m staring into the eyes of the man that i love,” and his constant Wedding Vowing, because he’s basically bursting with everything he feels, and just how much, and he fucking wants to express it god damn. why the fuck would he be chill? HE GETS TO HAVE THIS, after denying himself for so long
and magnus, well. magnus really needs it. really needs to be convinced that he’s lovable, and that he deserves not only to be loved but to be loved in a fulfilling, caring way. to be happy in a relationship, not just part of it. that he doesn’t have to constantly sacrifice himself for others
and that’s just one of the many ways in which they suit each other so perfectly. because what they need to say is what the other needs to hear, and what they have is so strong it can calm the storm that’s been inside of them for so long. they have the kind of love where they’re sad together, happy together, silly together, angry together, where they get to be competitive dorks and say dumb shit, and also to have slow and calm mornings, and also to feel juts as intensely as they desire. they have it all they are soulmates they have a one in a million kind of connection they are so perfect for each other and in this essay i will
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nobodyfamousposts · 5 years
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afters months of bullying Marinette, the class(minus Lila)finds out shes Ladybug and they're confused bc Lila said they were BFFs so why would she be so mean to Lila? then they connect the dots and "oh shit we fucked up". They dont tell anyone about it. Mari is confused and suspicious at their sudden change of hearts. Chat starts to visit her bc he knows she doesnt trusts Adrien after he sided with Lila. She's wary of Chat too bc at their last encounter he was very rude to her bc of Lila's lies
I don’t know if this is quite what you were going for, but this is what came to mind.
“Hey, Mari! How’s it going?” Chat Noir asked, nervously from his unwelcome position on her balcony after he showed up uninvited.
Marinette didn’t look happy to see him. He could see she was raising her guard, like she expected him to start yelling at her.
With good reason, he reminded himself bitterly. The last time they had seen each other—or rather the last time she had seen him as Chat, things had not been…the most pleasant.
He had been caught up in rumors and suspicion. Sinister words and talk of secret alliances between their supposed “innocent” class rep and the madman threatening their city.
He should have known better.
He DID know better.
Adrien knew that Lila was a compulsive liar and willing to make up any story. He knew that whatever came out of her mouth had to be lies. He even had some idea that Lila had some sort of grudge against Marinette—being one of the only ones to know she was lying and to be willing to call her out on it.
And yet he still fell for them anyway. Because it was strange, wasn’t it? And Lila might have been a liar, but she did have a point. Where DID Marinette disappear to during each akuma battle? She was never where she was supposed to be. She was never where she claimed she had been. No one could ever recall seeing her during any of the fights since this mess had started.
Coincidence, sure. But with Lila’s silver tongue, those coincidences added up and began to paint a picture that he couldn’t bring himself to ignore. But he should have. Because the picture may have made some sense, but it was still Lila putting it together and he knew—he KNEW her to be a vindictive manipulator with a grudge.
To think he actually believed that Marinette Dupain-Cheng was secretly working for Hawk Moth in his plots against their heroes.
Looking back, it had been stupid.
Really. Really stupid.
Even more stupid now that he knew what he did. And not a moment went by that he wasn’t kicking himself for jumping to those conclusions—and even worse, acting on them.
He still remembered the way she looked at him when he snapped at her. His accusations—at the time powered with righteous fury, only came off as ignorant and callous now. He still remembered the way she gaped at him in shock and hurt. He remembered the way she tried to deny it. He remembered how she tried to explain herself.
He remembered the way he hadn’t cared.
Chat never knew how he appeared to her in that moment. What expression he must have had as he looked down on her and coldly told her to stay out of the way for once.
He wondered if it matched the cold stare she gave him now.
“Why are you here?”
Her detached attitude hurt more than he thought it would. But he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it.
“I just wanted to check on you.” He said, forcing a smile. “You know, make sure you were all right after that last akuma fight.”
She raised an eyebrow, incredulously. “You mean the one that was three weeks ago?”
This time, he couldn’t hide the wince. Because yeah, it had been almost a month since that last fight. And he hadn’t considered visiting her—spying on her, sure, but not actually coming by to talk to her. He hadn’t even spared Marinette so much as a concern until just a few days ago. He could make excuses. Say he’d been busy. That he’d had homework and other things to do. But nothing had prevented him from enjoying free time and outings with his other classmates. Nothing had kept him from talking to Marinette any of those times.
The simple truth was that he hadn’t seen reason to go out of his way to worry for Marinette.
Not until one week ago when, along with several other classmates amidst their self-assured attempt to find “proof” of her guilt, he discovered that their “Everyday Ladybug” was actually “THE Ladybug”.
And suddenly, he realized too late that all of the little coincidences were pointing to a much different picture he had been too blind to see.
“I’m fine. You can go.”
He couldn’t. Because this was wrong and it was his fault.
“I don’t think you are.” He spoke up before he realized it. And he cursed his stupid mouth, but couldn’t quite bring himself to take it back because Marinette was clearly not fine.
She froze, and he fought the urge to move—though whether towards her to comfort or away from her to escape the awkwardness and guilt, he didn’t know.
“If I’m not, what does it really matter to you?”
Everything! He wanted to shout.
Because you’re my partner.
Because I love you.
Because I’m an idiot and I was wrong.
And I am so, so sorry.
So much he wanted to say.
So much he was scared to say.
Their partnership was already hanging by a thread. Her anger at him after the incident when she confronted him as Ladybug for his treatment of a ‘civilian’ had been quite clear. For once, he refused to give up, so insistent he was right.
And for once, she refused to apologize. It made sense now, given it had been herself on the receiving end of his mistreatment all this time. But at the time…
He had questioned Ladybug before. But never like that. Never did he so openly insult her judgement that way.
And now that he knew…
It was only one more thing to add to the list of ways he had seriously fucked up.
As Adrien, he promised Marinette support only to abandon her.
As Chat, he promised protection only to be the one to instigate.
As himself, he had promised to love the girl behind the mask only to turn on her in both.
Wasn’t he just pitiful?
“I just…wanted to make sure you weren’t at risk. You know…with the akumas and everything.”
She gave him a flat stare, unimpressed. “I think I’ve been doing well for myself for the past couple of months, thank you.”
“Look, I know things haven’t been…easy for you lately.” And THAT was the understatement of the year. “But—”
“No. No buts.” She cut him off. “You’re right. Things haven’t been easy. But I’ve been handling it. I’ve learned to handle it on my own.”
He winced. She didn’t say it. And she may not have intended to suggest it, but the implication was there. That it was all because he—because all of them had left her alone.
“Akumas can’t get me if I don’t give them something to target, right? So I’ve been staying positive and keeping my emotions in check.” She smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me becoming an akuma or anything.”
He clenched his fists.
She smiled like a doll and he hated it. He hated how fake it looked. He hated how it reminded him of his own false smiles as Adrien when he was trying to convince others he wasn’t upset when he was.
“You shouldn’t hide away your feelings.” He told her, honestly. “You have every right to be upset. Especially after how everyone treated you…how I treated you.”
She blinked in surprise.
“I…jumped to a lot of conclusions based on coincident and faulty evidence. I didn’t give you a chance to explain. And I should have because I know you, Marinette. In all our meetings and all our times together, I’ve only ever known you to be a genuinely good person.”
He wished he could hug her. Hold her tightly until he was sure he could use whatever he had to bring back the warmth to every part of her. To simply just hold her hand and offer her reassurance she had been sorely needing but sadly lacking all this time.
“I’m sorry, Marinette.”
I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.
I’m sorry I didn’t stand by you.
I’m sorry I left you alone.
Her blank smile faltered and her expression shifted to something sad but for the first time, genuine.
“At least you’re the first one to say it.”
It wasn’t forgiveness.
But maybe it was a start.
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minecraftoworymode · 4 years
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picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2
“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life
when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.
however,
after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face
anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder​: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)
- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-
n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)
BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.
this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing
anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice
and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly
but
then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)
theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer
and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-
BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???
he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"
- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'
what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)
afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"
he H
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sarasfm · 4 years
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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs
Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​
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full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies
dormitory room: 105
birthday: 20 march 1995
soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza
favorite dish: efo riro
aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands
Bio Points
her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit
she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa
she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !
Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’
loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states
her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”
she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 
Other Information
Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)
Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)
Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck
Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye
Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build
Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101
Personality
the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 
she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 
easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready
rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart
she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming
is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand
she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer
just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich
Fun Facts
has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese
has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 
is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 
likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 
is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 
doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit
if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 
she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul
isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 
don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place
Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know
kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 
Possible Connections
crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  
flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her
enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!
fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !
friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right
mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   
anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 
( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )
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anyhao-archived · 5 years
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1OFAKIND
9 member boy group
debut song: DUNK IT!
debut album: welcome to 1nderland
members:
mattie (16)
dancer, vocal, maknae, ‘02 line
energetic & hyper; cute & charismatic
still in school + incredibly short but still growing
drama queen & loves bothering RBF a lot
doesn’t speak any english despite his english (stage) name
the main advocate to get a cat. when they go to the shelter he doesn’t even bother going in the dog section. he goes straight to the cats and is literally the epitome of the “pls mom can we get him :(((” cliche while showing a cat to the CEO
he likes to joke that his only skill is cooking pizza rolls to absolute perfection. everyone knows that is a LIE but its funny so.
nathaniel (16)
dancer, rapper, speaks basic spanish, ‘02 line
mischief twin with mattie (though nathaniel’s a little eviler, and less hyper) the other members can’t leave them alone for a minute (like that 1 scene in community where the guy goes to get the pizza and a minute later the apartment is on fire) -- yeah.
calls the CEO “mom” jokingly until he slips up and means it
dropped out of school but getting his GED slowly. takes online classes and jack +suhyun help him
the first to volunteer for brightly colored hair (he gets the bright blue that vav’s ace had in dance with me)
suhyun (18)
vocal, composer, can play piano and guitar, born in 2000
soft, sweet and polite boy. well liked by everyone
he gives off the impression of being shy and quiet but he’s really not. he just waits for the right moment to roast someone. its not that he’s shy he just. really doesnt have much to say. when he does, though, everyone listens to him. more often than not its a quip at another member
speaks english pretty well, almost fluent
literal aegyo king. he looks so soft and sweet he’s already cute, but when he does puppy eyes and asks jaeyong/the CEO for something they immediately give in to him. he uses it for bad & selfish reasons, and refuses to do it on command (like on shows)
self proclaimed fashionista, gets irritated with the members when they purposely dress bad
the second to volunteer for colored hair (gets a dark red/burgundy)
haeyoung (19)
power vocal, dancer, 2nd leader, born in 1999
helps jack with choreographing
drama queen (part 2) always tries to one up mattie
even despite the rivalry to be dramatic, he LOVES mattie. he loves all the younger members, which is why he’s elected as 2nd leader -- to be an advocate for the younger members who sometimes perhaps don’t have the courage to complain to the hyungs
he loves dogs but animals don’t seem to like him. 
one day he gets fed up with being ignored by daisy and dramatically falls to the ground in the practice room floor and whines about daisy hating him. one of the members kick him to get up but he refuses. daisy slowly comes over, as if sensing his distress, and licks him on his face.
to this DAY he maintains that he did not cry, the members are all slandering him! from then on, though, daisy sleeps on haeyoung’s bottom bunk bed with him
he’s recently got his driver’s license but no one likes to be in the car with him. he’s literally a mess and no ones sure how he got the license
he followed the hair color trend: a light, cotton candy pink color
he LOVES SPARKLES!!!! always asks for sparkles in his makeup. his aegyo skill is second only to suhyun. haeyoung always just. GOES for it. he’s less pleading and more cutesy high voice pitch. half the members cringe, and half of them love it. the one who seems to enjoy it the most though is jaeyong, surprisingly.
minchan (20)
vocal, dancer, and visual, ‘98 line
dumb and dumber with wooyoung. (minchan is the dumber) literally never knows what’s going on. tends to get lost, and if wooyoung is there, wooyoung’s lost too. jaeyong finds them and drags them back by their collars
though he’s mainly a vocal, he’s a wonderful dancer, too. he’s got (some) background in ballet, which makes his dancing perfect for this group
an amazing artist and incredibly creative. he designs their album designs and helps with photography. he’s also incredible at makeup and loves to do members’ makeup. sometimes he teams up with suhyun to give a full makeover to one of the members -- makeup, hair, outfit, etc. their victim is usually haeyoung or jack.
a dog person, came up with daisy’s name
he’s got light brown hair, and he makes sure to make it fluffy every day
he prides himself on learning certain niche skills. he’s first aid and cpr certified. he can also knit! he’s also the best cook in the dorm (not the only one, but certainly the best)
wooyoung (20)
dancer, rapper, knows basic english, ‘98 line
loves dogs & is best friends with minchan. he’s the dumb portion of the dumb & dumber duo, even though both of them really aren’t idiots
HIMBO!!! like he is kind of dumb (in a good way at least) and he’s the one who posts the most selfies. he enjoys stripping and ripping off his shirt
he likes to edit videos, and learns how to compose from suhyun. he’s the one members go to if they’re having tech issues.
somehow, he is a technology nerd but also a gym rat?? he’s THAT GUY who takes gym selfies and meanwhile jaeyong’s in the background with his shirt off lmao
he’s the actor of the group. if there’s an offer to be in a drama or whatever he’d be the first to be picked
also has background in dance! more street style though, like pop/locking or bboying. when he and minchan work together their dancing is beautiful. almost like art in its own form
BJ -- aka: RBF (21)
stable vocal, dancer, face of the group, ‘97 line
doesn’t like to be touched
dramatic, but not drama queen type. more like draping himself over pieces of furniture in silk outfits while there’s candles barely lighting the old room
has black hair that needs a trim, always wearing black clothes, bracelets, etc. (like the cliche emo in middle school in 2009)
what a fucking MESS! he’s always cheating during games and refusing to move/work out more than strictly necessary. 
his stage name is literally BJ (their CEO thought it was funny, and he was always like ??? until jack told him what that means in English LOL and he’s SO SCANDALZIED! he’s that member who does a solo interview while the rest are off fuckin’ around. he does an entire vlive for this one rant. hes like, hey guys. now i know why you all laughed when i was introduced. jack told me what bj means in english! so im gonna change my stage name. i like the idea of letters. what do you guys think of rbf?’
‘you know what that stands for, too, right?’
of course! resting bitch face! don’t you think that suits me? nd thats how he goes from bj to rbf. their ceo thinks rbf is hilarious, too
he seems aloof but he actually has a lot of emotions. he tends to rant about anything, and jack’s the only one who rly listens to him.
he’s closest with suhyun, bc hes the only member who seems to understand him more than at a surface level. basically they’re a yin/yang type of friends
is very happy with his appearance. he likes being that dancer with swaying hips and lifting his shirt up. sexy dance! 
jack (21)
rapper, fluent in english, choreographer, ‘97 line
closest with jaeyong (they were together at a different company before)
quiet, responsible, and well liked
makes sure all members are heard and understood. he also teaches them english (especially mattie)
basically: hes the long suffering mother type and lives in the bedroom with mattie and nathaniel to watch over the mischief twins
probably the most intelligent but doesnt act like it. kind of a nerd and wears glasses, but he’s ... well built. looks good. hes basically the “hot nerd” with flannel and beanies cliche
his only downfall is he’s extremely unlucky. everything he touches breaks or falls apart lmao. like, he’s the tallest member and gives off ‘rough’ vibes but. he’s constantly tripping, or falling down stairs. however the members know better than to laugh at him lol they’ve seen him angry.
‘im not angry. im just disappointed’ the rest of the group: WE ALL KNOW THATS WORSE!
maknae line (mattie, nathaniel, and suhyun) are constantly following him around like little ducklings. it comes natural to mattie and nathaniel, and suhyun just enjoys being there lol
jaeyong (23)
leader, eldest, main rapper, born in 1995
he’s got experience in the industry and leads the rest of the group with that knowledge. he debuted briefly at the previous company but disbanded early. he left the company with jack and now they’re in the new one.
main driver!! he drives all the members everywhere and its an ongoing joke that hes a chauffeur. however he’s got... a little bit of road rage lmao
GYM RAT! he’s jacked!!! he rarely shows his abs though, preferring to tease fans lmao however wooyoung keeps taking pics of him when he’s shirtless in the gym (both on purpose and on accident)
he’s also a bit cliche. if jack was long suffering mom(TM) then he’s the slightly detached but well meaning father(TM) ! not afraid to call out his members, but listens with an open mind. he’s a great mediator if there’s any issues within the group
though jaeyong is the leader, jack tends to be the one herding all the kids and making sure they eat. jaeyong is more about pep talks and being strong, giving great speeches, etc. 
even though he seems like he’d be rough around the edges, he’s incredibly loving. in multiple ways. he teases, he rough houses, LOVES hugging the members until they cant breathe. he’s... also very susceptible to aegyo. like he cant help but be swayed. he will never admit it but haeyoung and suhyun’s aeygo make his heart race
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icharchivist · 5 years
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Managed to get Chap 9 of FPvM, the chapter released last month and ma n
-Seeing Hifumi break down and cling to Doppo when the girls arrive is so goddamn heartbreaking. Seeing both Doppo and Jakurai trying to hold him to calm him down is giving me so much emotions, Hifumi is stealing the chapter for me.
-Ichijiku is a snacc
-The effect around the Mic concealers are so cool wtf??
-The whole scene with Juto coming to talk to Doppo has an amazing sense to it with Hifumi being clingy toward Doppo i’m living
-We also get the TDD reunion ofc and all that comes with it (i feel the manga added a Riou’s reaction to seeing the TDD though? I didnt remember him react but i should reread/relisten the drama track)
-Ramuda hug attacking every single of the TDD members but doing it in such an intimate YET threatening way toward Jakurai..... oof. But his hug is so tender toward Ichiro and Samatoki and i’m crying again.
-Jakurai and Ramuda’s fight is heartbreaking??? But i love how it differenciate their fighting style. 
-Ramuda’s is raw, violent and uncontrolled. You can feel the fury of the way he attacks, and when Jakurai fights back Ramuda loses all sort of control. The raw fact Ramuda is like that around Jakurai is painful. When he attacks again after Jakurai’s attack, he seems so raw and desperate and angry. This is the most disturbing Ramuda has ever looked so far.
-Meanwhile Jakurai fighting style is much more concealed, calm, almost gentle despite the rudest of his words. At least in appearance he doesnt give the feeling of wanting to hurt his adversary as much as Ramuda does. Or, well, he does, it is in a very cold and calculated way, not going for a messy attack like Ramuda does but by going straight to the throat. He doesn’t give the impression he wants to hurt but he still is determined to do so. 
-TBh that gives a good contrast with their backstories: Jakurai use a calm, cold, calculated and concealed way to hurt a bit like his assassin day would require, while Ramuda is all messy, violent, uncontroled which so far fits with how we’ve seen him fight (esp when he kills/tortures people in the TDD manga) - so i would argue it is like, things he picked up being the gov’s dog.
-Also you feel the history behind it man. I cant help but think about their TDD fight we see in the begining of the FPvM manga, bc there it was Jakurai doing the most damages and being the most violent/virulent. To see the shift around almost makes Jakurai seem more careful. Also his reactions to Ramuda’s attacks and the way he completely collaps... oof
-That too, the fact Jakurai COLLAPSE on hearing Ramuda’s attacks while Ramuda just goes completely unhingedly feral on Jakurai when Jakurai attacks again. As a way to react to the attack i find it very perticular? Jakurai reacts by vulnerability, Ramuda by losing himself. There could be a l o t to get away from it but i can’t lie i do like how it feeds my HCs there.
-Also boy seeing Hifumi and Doppo being completely horrified to see Jakurai collapse while Gentaro and Dice are staring in complete disbelief at their leader is freaking amazing. Like they established how terrifying Ramuda could be so well that the rookies who are not used to fight specifically and are curious (ish since Dice isn’t) about their relationship were all horrified. 
-idk why i find it odd but when the mic concealers arrive, the focus is on Ramuda and Jakurai realizing their speakers are disappearing (normal) ... and Doppo and Dice?? Like there are two panels for each of them to react, and Hifumi and Gentaro are nowhere to be seen in them. It’s such an odd thing to me, why focus on them? At best Doppo is the one who ends up arguing in Jakurai’s defense afterward so i can see why, and not showing Hifumi makes sense since he reacts directly when the girls arrive in total different manner, but Dice??? the one who had no interest in the fight or its reasons, and who doesn’t bring it up afterward? Why did you focus on my boy??? I MEAN ME TOO I WANT TO ALWAYS FOCUS ON DICE BUt WHY. Meanwhile Gentaro gets no focus until he collectly talk about how the girls are coming in. Not really surprising per se and that keeps him detached/focusing on the gov incidentally, but i can’t understand the focus on Dice.
-Admire Him.
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-They changed the setting for the FP conversation in the end and i looooove it but i also love how they put small details here and there like how Gentaro specifically shows still that he doesn’t trust Ramuda when Ramuda leaves to take the phonecall
-RAMUDA’S PHONECASE IS ADORABLE I WANT THE SAME
-The way they framed his conversation with Ichijiku in the end OOF. This is so ominous and it captures the feel of the drama track so well. But to see Ramuda’s face change this hardly in between each of what Ichijiku tells him is frightening. Like... it really feels like Ichijiku is probably saying very upsetting things one after the other to make his mask fall like that, esp since he catch it back last minute.  And the reveal woaaahh. I’m kinda surprised about it in a way bc in the manga they revealed Ramuda connection with Ichijiku well in the first TDD chap yeah but also like, minimum 2 chapters ago in term of FPvM? Like there was a new, not-drama track adapted scene of Ramuda talking to Ichijiku about how it was “okay if FP lost the tournament as long as they went up to the semi finales” (which they did), so like by that point while in the tracks we didn’t know their connections, in the manga we definitly know. I love that they kept the gravity of the reveal from the drama track and it still works with how bad of an impact Ichijiku has on Ramuda for him to shift completely at every single of her sentences, and i guess it still works bc it tells you that in her intervention she was still keeping a hold on Ramuda somehow. It is just.. an interesting way it drifted from the original material.
-As usual the art from this chapter was absolutly outstanding. Maaaan for a chapter that just adapts Know Your Enemy FPvM i didn’t think it’d have much to discuss about, even the translating team just went “we can’t go in depth it’s just the drama track” but i find that the work in the details of the artworks to make the drama track come to life is absolutly fantastic.
Next chapter is out in 2 days and should adapt just a friend...... ✌ now THAT will be fun.
I hope i’ll manage to get my hand on the chapter quick though, i got chap 9 after a month so......... weep..... please gimme protective Dice early....
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kyle-hunt · 5 years
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[ tom holland, twenty one, cismale, he/him/his ] ━ hey, I just saw [ kyle hunt-bentley ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ one week ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ student / grocery store clerk ]. I hear they’re known to be [ enthusiastic & honest ] and [ condescending & insecure ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ chewed pens, night walks, organized bookshelves, stargazing, skateboarding, bake-off competitions,  loud music, sleeping in on a rainy day, singing in the car ]. 
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hey everyone!!! i'm so excited to be here and write with all of you. let me know if you want to plot, if you like this i'll slide into your dms or just send me a message
now for the main show, here’s a long ramble about kyle:
background
triggers: addiction, anxiety, depression
kyle theodore hunt-bentley was born on june 26th (he's a cancer, so you know he's sensitive af) in Arizona. he has two older siblings, one of them lives in crownsville ( @aaron-bentley )
apparently, his parents thought it would be funny to give him two names and two surnames, bc sure the kid has time to write all that in a limited space.
don't mention stars, planets or space because he will never shut up (why? idk i know shit about that but here we are) among his other interests are 80′s hits, unsolved crimes, baking (but he’s bad, so maybe he has a chance at nailed it! fingers crossed), cars and dogs movies (even if he cries his eyes out) he also likes rom-coms because he doesnt know what love is but likes the idea of it okay?
anyway... he is very smart, the kind of kid that annoys the rest of his classmates because he CANT stop participating in class and enjoys correcting his teachers. he is also the kind of guy that would borrow you his homework so you can copy it, he's soft okay?
he was bullied *pretends to be shocked* but he really didn't care? i mean he cared because it sucked, but he believed it was only because they were jealous of how smart he was (did i mention he can be a condescending little shit? well, he is.
he did one year at jerome's high school before begging his mother to transfer him somewhere more challenging. she accepted and he moved to scottsdale to finish high school. he stayed there with some relatives.
kyle was accepted into caltech and mit, but decided to move to massachusetts because california was too close to arizona and how could he reject the opportunity of moving across the country?
he majored in physics with a minor in astronomy. of course, he felt more comfortable there than any other place as many people had the same interests but he also realized that he wasn't the smartest in the room and his insecurities began to manifest.
by his junior year, kyle could barely handle the pressure of staying top of his class (which he achieved but at what cost?!!!) he began consuming adderall but let's just say he wasn't very good at keeping it a secret and his professors found out and sent him to therapy (but he only went to a few sessions). by the end of that year, he had a nervous breakdown. his anxiety was higher than ever and he was starting to develop depression.
one of his professors advised him to take a year off, but he said no. however, the pressure only increased and so did his use of adderall. finally, he was pretty much forced to take a sabbatical and he was so ashamed that he hid it from his family and just pretended that everything was peachy.
however, he was supposed to graduate this year and his parents started to ask questions so he had no choice but to come clean. his parents told him to go back to arizona and spend the reminding of his sabbatical there, but he refused.
during the past year, kyle started therapy again and for the most part, he's been taking the meds and going to his appointments. he also realized that his urge to take adderall decreased (but sometimes still takes it just for the high, but he is a lot more discreet now)
he decided to move to crownsville as his older brother lives here. he arrived a week ago and got a job at the grocery store as a clerk.
personality
he is very nice, and friendly. his social skills have improved in the last years and now he tries to start the interactions instead of waiting for people to talk to him.
lives inside his head which is why sometimes he could appear to be offbeat. he is always thinking of something (which doesn't help his anxiety) and it leads people to think that he is detached or not interested.
he can get very passionate if you start to talk about something he likes to the point that his conversations can border on incoherence as he tries to say everything he wants in just a few words.  
like i said, my boy here can be super condescending. he enjoys sharing what he knows but sometimes he makes it so complicated for others that he gets frustrated when people don't understand what he wants to say and ends the whole thing with a 'never mind'.
if you really want to make him uncomfortable talk about relationships. he's never had a girlfriend. he kissed someone in a party back in college but yeah, of course, he's still a virgin and has no idea how to flirt and most likely he would never realize you are flirting with him until you say it.
he is demisexual and hetero-romantic ¿? maybe idk yet, he doesn't know yet
connections
best friend: they could be friends since arizona or massachusetts. i have two ideas for this: one, they are both space geeks and they bonded over that and talk about constellations and physics problems and it's just a cute brotp. or they can be complete opposites, maybe he is more of a jock but for some bizarre reasons they like each other and now they are best friends even if makes zero sense.
crush: this person was the one that made his heart stop throughout high school or college (or now why not). maybe they talked a few times but they never were too close because she's probably out of his league and when they did he probably came across as the dork he is.
half-brother: so, aaron is literally his brother from the same mother but different father, but he doesn't see him as a half-brother. they are very close and probably the only person in the family that he called at least once a week (the rest he only called when they demanded him to do so).
half-sister: she's older than him, daughter of his father from his first marriage. i think they'd be close but maybe not as much as with aaron, maybe because they have different personalities but kyle still adores her even if he doesn't express it.
former classmates: people he met while he studied at MIT or in high school.
co-workers/customers: he currently works at the grocery store, so the possibilities are endless because everyone has to visit it at least once, right?
anything you want really. i’m sucker for plots so come at me with whatever idea you have
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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years
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bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 
humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.
i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 
‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 
to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !
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