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fatuismooches · 6 months

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THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE POST REMINDED ME OF THOSE CLICHES WHERE THEY MEET AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF THEMSELVES OH MY GOD???? like zandik sees a version of himself where he never met you and he will admit that he honestly has never seen himself so sad before.... like everything he has now? nothing can compare to a zandik who has never felt love before and that FUCKSHGVUHFBJAKM<>SAGDUIJSAK .. I SWEAR I SAW THIS SOMEWHERE I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE...

and zandik who has never experienced love thinks he's so foolish for allowing such a massive setback to his goals, and he doesn't understand you and your relationship with your zandik. perhaps he's jealous? maybe he wants to study you (in a not so intimate way and rather how he would treat regular subjects)? AND IT JUST MAKES ME SOOOOOO SAD LIKE. YOU'D OBVIOUSLY WANT TO HOLD HIM AND KISS HIM TOO, make him feel loved too BUT you have your own zandik, AND he has never opened his heart to anyone for literally millenias and uGHHGHHH

methinks it makes zandik appreciate your relationship on a whole 'nother level

OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS SOOOO GOOD AND GENIUS UGHHHH I LOVE IT SM! Screams... the idea of Dottore admitting to himself that he looks "sad" is something that he thought was impossible but!! He can't deny that his alternate self looks goddamn miserable!! His counter-self would look "normal" to anyone else, but perhaps because he's connected to him in an odd way, he can just sense his other self's sadness. Eyebags and all, he really looks like he reached the edge of insanity. Which, Dottore has as well, but there's just something about his alternate self that shows it a lot more. And he thinks, could you really have had that much of an impact on him, for his alternate self to be like this? Surely there were other factors that made his alternate self come out this way, perhaps even arguably worse than him? And he's right, there is, being from an alternate universe and all but... still, there was no alternate for you his alternate self. No one to lessen his burden, to help him, to care for him, to love him... he was left to descend into madness all by himself.

Ugh his alternate self would probably be disgusted with him. There are so many things to be done, and instead of focusing on the important stuff he's fooling around with... love? With... you? A person he supposedly... loves? It's disgusting really, how low he's fallen. He should know better than to believe in such things, after the neglect he went through. And you. His other self doesn't like you for being such a distraction. What could possibly be so interesting about you? He doesn't see anything notable about you at all, especially if you're sickly, and yet the twisted part of him wants to know. I mean, you're scared of his alternate self of course, but you can't help but pity him, You want to show him what it means to be loved, how even someone like him can be loved, and how love can actually help him rather than hurt him. You want him to be showered in affection... but you can't. That's not your job... and it would be far too hard for you to do it in such as short him. So you only leave Dottore's counter self with a few words - that you didn't know what happened to your alternate self, whether they were alive or dead... but you hoped that he could meet them one day, and maybe then he would understand.

You're more sad about it than Dottore of course, meanwhile he's more contemplative about it? He thinks about everything his other self said and he can't help but think he's so... wrong. He counters every single point his alternative self made. You've actually helped him with so many breakthroughs in his own research, learn new things he couldn't have understood on his own. You help him regain his energy when he's tired, you help him relax and rest when he constantly pushes past his limits. You... love him, and that's helped him a lot more than he initially realized. And that just makes him more resolved to the fact he can't lose you.

#smooches talks #moots: kai <3 #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #something abt this scratches my brain just right

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carothehotmess · 2 years

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GENERAL THOUGHTS AFTER HOTD EPISODE 5

Rip Rhea Royce I just know that you were not hetero and tbh you showed up, insulted daemon’s virility, and immediately died and that was a pretty iconic character arc if you ask me

Laenor and Rhaenyra agreeing to have an open relationship and becoming friends and allies! We love to see it!

Joffrey talking about seeing the tournaments when Rhaenyra becomes Queen… oh my sweet summer child you shall never see them for so many reasons

But also I love that we got a little of his and Laenor’s relationship before his death

Ser Criston- bro?!?! Did you really think she was going to marry you?! What drug is this man on and where can I get some

Allicent sweetheart wtf was that skirting around the question? Just ask if Rhaenyra fucks!

But also I was very confused like did she understand that Criston and not Daemon slept with Rhaenyra? Because if so, why was she so pissed?? Like either its just a miscommunication situation, which is so dumb, or she understood that Rhaenyra didn’t lie to her so like… is she just jealous that Rhae slept with anyone?! So many questions.

The entrances. Good GOD they all slayed. The Velaryons win for having a whole ass routine and theme going on, Daemon wins for never listening to his weak ass brother and just showing up to cause chaos, and Alicent wins for badass moment and prettiest dress (well tied with Laena) because I just love that color green okay??

Rhaenyra and Laenor would definitely come across like they are a little in love to anyone who doesn’t realize because their shared excitement over their agreement and future plans was so cute. Like they seemed genuinely excited to be partners in secrets.

The dancing was SO FUN and Harwin just very subtly being the one dancing with Rhaenyra the most was great. She always seemed to be smiling or laughing in the brief scenes of them dancing together, and I’m just so glad she has him!!

The set up for Daemon and Laena was also great! Him clearly still prioritizing Rhaenyra but also noticing and being very much interested in Laena is fantastic development imo

THAT GRIP THOUGH. Like my Queen really taunted him and basically begged him to whisk her away and marry her and the way he gripped her face did not need to be so hot. I said it and I meant it.

HARWIN STRONG I LOVE YOU ugh him literally fighting his way over to Rhaenyra then throwing her over her shoulder like it was nothing was just chefs kiss

Rip Joffrey, you deserved to get to live your dreams of being in tournaments and fucking the king consort. Gone too soon

Fuck Ser Criston Cole. I do like that they made it about his “honor” or whatever as well, but it really mostly gave off the vibes of him throwing a temper tantrum just because he didn’t get what he wanted

I did love that Laena was also fighting to get to Laenor. Their bond is great and I hope we get to see them and Rhaenyra and Daemon grow closer!

Poor Laenor. The gays did not do well this episode methinks

Viserys bro why are you even still alive at this point

#hotd spoilers #hotd ep 5 #hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #allicent hightower #viserys targaryen #laenor velaryon #joffrey lonmouth #laena velaryon #harwin strong #daemyra #rhaenyra x harwin #fuck criston cole #game of thrones #got

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nedseii · 5 months

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Hello, your drawings are really beautiful. I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions.

1. Which program do you use and recommend for drawing?

2. Are there any tips you can share for drawing?

3. How do your drawings look so smooth? (I use Ibispaint and the drawings do not look smooth at all.)

4. Do you have any advice to get to a better level in drawing?

Hi!! Hope you're doing well Anon! And sorry for replying late :'(

Here we gooooo:

I changed the way I work since the last ask I received (I had to because my tablet started acting weird again and my hand would end up hurting by the end TwT)

1/ The program I use is Sai 2! And when I want to add filters/textures, I copy and paste the drawing to CSP and modify it there! The noise filter I use comes with this brush set on CSP 👇

As for the program I'd recommend, it would definitely be Procreate! A friend of mine sometimes lends me her Ipad so that I can draw stuff for her and it's always the best experience ever! (far better than CSP and Sai methinks) That's why I'm saving money rn in order to get an Ipad too and finally be done with this old tablet of mine :') (it's a Wacom Intuos CTH-480 if you're wondering)

2/ Here's how I basically draw (I hope this helps!!)

3/ It's cuz I always turn the stabilizer on 15 when I do the lineart >:)

I turn it to 0 when I sketch tho'!

4/ Idk if this is helpful but here's how I improved:

When I started taking drawing seriously I first began by improving on how I draw faces! I would look up my favorite artists' stuff and try to understand how they drew theirs >:) I first would copy their art and then try to replicate it without looking and see if I remembered and understood how they went about it! I then started to combine everything I liked from each until I reached a result I really liked :')

The only downside to this is that I didn't study anatomy AT ALL so I started all over again using the same method but with full bodies, and after I felt like I learned how to draw very basic poses I started looking up references on Pinterest and try to replicate them into basic shapes! And that leads us to today lmao

Keep in mind that I still use references to this day! They're very important!! For example, I used Gwendoline Christie as a reference for my recent Robb X)

And here's some examples of my old embarrassing doodles:

ANYWAYS, remember that the most important thing of all is to have fun Anon! I hope this was helpful!! And I'm wishing you the best for your art journey :') NEVER GIVE UP!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

#ask

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aita-blorbos · 6 months

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AITA for avenging my brother?

hiiiii ^^ so im (30, let's say M for convenience's sake) am currently the leader of a very big sect, which was Not the plan WhatSoEVER (i'll get into it). i was born as the younger sibling to the sect heir, which meant i had free reign to basically do whatever i wanted while he got the responsibilities and stuff! great deal methinks. our father died when we were both still young due to heart issues that run in the family and also being killed. since my brother had a decade or so on me, he pretty much raised me from then on while also having the new role of official sect leader on his shoulders.

again, seems like a good deal! he was strict, and really really insisted i practiced my fighting skills (like that wasn't the literal cause of our family's heart issues) to the point that one time he like kind of burned my paper fan collection in front of me but that's like it's all besides the point okay he loved me and i loved him and we were both there for each other okay? okay

anyway he had this servant/best friend/pretty sure somethingsomething was going on there. he was kind of like a second big brother to me. our interests overlapped and he also preferred stuff like art and poetry over fighting. he understood me in a way that my brother couldn't, and he helped raise me just as much, even accompanying me to my third year of summer courses. which lol was supposed to be a one year course but i failed twice. lmao w/e

things got... bad. a war broke out, the servant betrayed us by letting a dangerous enemy out of his cell, and he and my brother had a horrible fight that ended in the former's expulsion from our sect. fast forward yadda yadda this isn't so much the part of the story it's just context but basically that turned out to be a plan to get close to the enemy sect leader so he could stab him in the back. which turned out to become a recurring theme.

the servant, now a prominent figure in his own sect, my brother, and one basically-a-celeb from another sect became this big trio (and totally a Thing) because of the role they played in ending the war. servant-now-big-boy (let's go with snbb for convenience) used that position to send my brother into a cardiac arrest by playing a melody that was supposed to soothe him differently.

so now i was alone, and with one of the current biggest sects to lead, while all i wanted to do is look cute, paint and be bisexual. you can probably imagine how i felt when i learned who did it, especially considering how not only no one else knew, but he got /rewarded/ for it by becoming a sect leader himself. soooo i got a little silly and here's where i mighttttt be tah :3

basically i started a 10+ years revenge plan. i didn't really plan a /lot/ of it, but i knew i'd have to resurrect one of my childhood friends for it to grab attention away from me etc and such and so on and so forth. but basically i also got a gay and socially rejected teenager killed for that, desecrated the corpse of snbb's mother, paid some people to spread rumours here and there, possibly killed a few cats to lure a group of people where i needed them to be, and adopted a public persona of a useless idiot who couldn't run a sect for the life of me to keep suspsicions off of me for the duration of this, which was Also a part to get back at him because that meant he, as someone responsible and sooo niceys and oh won't you please help your poor little meowmeow with the big scary emails plssss (he basically ran the sect for me lol).

to top it all off i had him killed by the one person that loved him the most (mister sir basically-a-celeb. god his jawline is stronger than my will to live) (he has gone into seclusion and is isolating himself indefinitely to mourn)

but also all this allowed my old bestie to get gay married with his longtime heartthrob

so. aita?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #animal death

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sothischickshe · 16 days

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I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks (ty! 💛💛💛) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,245

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The only fandom I've ever published fic for is good girls

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bringing down the neighbourhood

waiting for someone who needs me🧞

What a sight to see🧛🏻

(a) time to kill

yourself and others

I'm not sure the middle 3 would def be there were it not for the anon kudos bombing but w/e it's nice having some single chapter fics in the top 5 🤘

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! 🥺🥺🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A time to refrain (from embracing) methinks!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Both installments of the Are you afraid or is it true series are pretty fluffy. Maybe the second part (Through the park and by the tree) wins out? 🤔

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally. There was someone in the gg fandom leaving mean bookmark notes tho 🙄🗑️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. What are the kinds? 👀

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, and I don't imagine I would?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I'm aware of. It could be interesting to see how it would go!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, as kids me and a friend co-wrote a tortall 'verse crackfic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ooof. Maybe spuffy? That met me at a very formative time of my life, and I didn't expect it to become so canon (as opposed to like under a spell etc) and I think that experience really reshaped my brain 🤯🤯🤯 but fundamentally faves questions are immoral thus this is a very rude question.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I'll finish all of them, and do intend to! I'm not sure I'll ever write the hilarious abortion fic tho.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, a love of language/interesting prose. A love of brevity/somewhat chiselled sentences. A love of editing/willingness to improve. Interesting stories. Dialogue, tho brio get little bc theyre annoying. Characterisation!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well I violently dislike plot. I don't feel super strong on creating original characters. I'm slow! I'd rather let things be confusing than beat readers over the head with info, which I think can be detrimental. I wouldnt say my descriptions are super strong, though I think they've improved a lil. Sometimes there's too much internal monologue at a go which breaks up the pacing of an eg dialogue scene (though again think that's improved somewhat). My love of planning and love of pantsing are at constant war lol, I get grumpiest abt stuff not having been established earlier and thus needing to state things which couldve been well demonstrated. Blocking, sometimes. I love short stories and oneshots but I'm apparently prone to writing long fics & continuing things into series which I consider a real weakness, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it in principle, I've read a lot of books which contain a lot of eg French or Spanish (often untranslated). We've got access to Google translate or w/e right? I do appreciate it when translations are provided bc lazy (and I think Ao3 does poss let you do hyperlinked superscript?). I feel the same way abt it in fic as in other media I think -- if you're happy for it to be a bonus to those that understand and everyone else needs to work to figure it out, I concur. If you think it needs to be understood, then providing translations (even if just as notes @ the end) makes sense.

But I also think pls don't write it via Google translate... If u don't speak the language/don't have someone who can help u translate it, don't write dodgy shite Spanish or w/e 🙈 not everything needs to be literal dialogue u can just say 'he explained to his grandmother abt the change in plans' or w/e I swear

...o wait I'm guessing the q meant me as a writer not reader 🤦 I don't think I've done much of it? Altho I do always seem to imply that every character speaks French, a language I don't really speak so who the hell knows 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published for: good girls. Wrote for hmmm I guess tortall books maybe? 🧓🤷🏼‍♀️

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooof, immoral question! Let's say upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life tho bc every time I remember I wrote a fic where rio & Dean swap bodies I giggle 😂 there's so much abt this fic which is very funny to specifically me teehee

Tagging🔖🔖🔖🔖🔖: @hereliesbb @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison @inyoursheets @bensonstablers @blizabrth @delicatelingon & U right in the middle of your forehead if u wanna play 😚🎯

#Ty for tagging me this was fun! 😚😚😚#Writing #On writing #Fanfiction #Hopefully I didn't fluff up any of the links; doing this all on mobile was not the easiest thing ever 😅

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dollsuguru · 4 months

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HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333

FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’<

and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! 🥺🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!!

AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33

IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33

OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it

& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen

THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!

AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah

^ me when reading your fics

#asks #i could say so much more but i just Woke Up and my brain is smooth #ALSO I’M ABT TO GO HAMMMMM ON THE SATORU FICS TODAY #i took a lil sneak peak and… thank you for making satoru a loverboy and making reader a lover too #i don’t often get to see reader also be extremely devoted to satoru which is so sad 😭 they always are the Serious Mean Ones which like. +#isn’t bad but i myself love my silly little goofball lover devoted readers… bc that’s Me and if satoru was mine i’d treat him so good #like babyboy let me treat you to some fine dining… he’d blush when i take him to cheesecake factory 😋#suguru & satoru my two pretty boys… my Husbands… my devoted lovers #ANYWAYS I’M GOING OFF TRACK NOW NFNFNFNFFNNFNF #you will see me soon in your tags once again user twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… a promise not a threat ☝🏼#ari tag <3

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joseopher · 8 months

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how do you interpret the "it only broke because i broke it" scene/conversation with tristan and callum in the atlas paradox? what are the important parts of it? i really like the scene and i feel like you'd have more thoughts about the significance of it than i got on my own

I DO HAVE MORE THOUGHTS!!!

Spoilers for The Atlas Paradox under the cut!!!

So we begin.

"It took three days after the incident with the captive witch for Tristan to come find him. Ridiculous. As if they were schoolgirls waiting three days to text back."

This implies that after their interaction (Tristan taking a hostage and Callum having some fun) it was a given that Tristan would come to find him. Callum could think this because:

a) He's arrogant and "understands" emotions well

b) Callum and Tristan know each other so well that they don't need to make a verbal agreement that Tristan will eventually find Callum

Option B is suggested by this earlier line: "The shorthand between Callum and Tristan had been long enough established that Tristan did not require clarification."

They were very close friends, they knew each other very well.

This line is also important: "'Finally,' Callum said without looking up from his book."

What says the most is that Tristan does not question what Callum means by "finally". Meaning it's very likely that they both understood this meeting was inevitable.

Another quote that caught my attention was:

"I thought, ‘You know what will be fun? I’ll just make up a nice little story that will haunt Tristan for three days and then I’ll simply tell him it was all a joke, ha ha.’ Certainly it’s not an extremely fraught situation. After all, what possible knowledge would I have of such fragile emotional tangles? None whatsoever, methinks—"

This may sound reasonable for a normal person to say. But this is Callum, he has crafted a persona that plays with people like toys. The version of himself he trying desperately to make everyone believe would indeed fuck with someone like that.

And Tristan has every right to buy into this. Tristan's paranoid, Tristan's been manipulated by Callum and Tristan has seen Callum try to make someone he cares for take her own life in front of him.

But all he says is, "Fine. Point taken."

HE👏TRUSTED👏CALLUM'S👏WORDS

Not necessarily because he believes Callum deserves his trust but because he knows that this isn't what Callum would do.

They know each other so well but also not in the ways they need.

The misunderstandings start here: "False. I do not hate Rhodes. I do not even dislike Rhodes. She simply does not matter."

Callum does not waste effort on those that do not matter to him. But in this line, he's saying that Tristan does matter to him, that he wouldn't be presenting this information to him if he didn't matter. Tristan does matter to him, despite all their betrayal, despite the resentment and hate, he is important enough to be worth Callum allowing himself to feel for, even if that feeling is dislike. (But these lines suggest he still likes Tristan: "'Tristan doesn’t have his own ideas. It’s what I like about him.' He meant to say liked, but it obviously didn’t matter.").

Tristan doesn't see this and instead fixates on Callum's next words that suggest he wants to kill Libby.

Moving on, I find this quote very memorable:

"Callum remarked, producing a very neat and well-prepared document from the inside cover of his book—which was actually How to Win Friends and Influence People, chosen for its many wonderful techniques. For example, one way to make people like you was to smile, which Callum winningly employed now."

This quote suggests that Callum still wants Tristan to like him. He's still trying to recover from Tristan considering killing him, still trying to process rejection from the one person who saw him for who he was. He longs for Tristan to like him again, to heal over that injury or just have the power to reject him back.

This is furthered by this quote:

"No, no, wildly incorrect. I don’t just want you to try, Tristan. I want you to succeed. I want you to succeed so valiantly and with such flying colors that you believe yourself to be invincible and invulnerable and, ultimately, a more evolved version of your current self. But of course you won’t do that. Which is honestly very sad for me, because I really am an optimist."

Callum rarely lies, so it's likely that he does want Tristan to succeed, he does care.

"You’re manipulating me somehow. I know you’re trying to talk me out of it.

But, of course, in Tristan's pov, anything he had with Callum was just manipulation. He does not allow himself to think that Callum still cares because of his own self-doubts. He does know Callum very well but his own disbelief that anyone would care about him + assuming everything between was manipulation which is because of his self-doubt stops him from even considering the idea that Callum desperately wants to be liked by him. He knows Callum but his own doubt and self-loathing opens room for misunderstanding.

"And yet, I am the only one in this house who’s been any help to you at all, Tristan, so you’re welcome."

Callum is practically screaming at Tristan. He's like, "See I'm helpful, no one else, I'm helping you Tristan despite everything, please for god's sake pay attention to me."

"The glare he received from Tristan was a ruthless thing of beauty."

I have nothing to say about this quote other than: GAAAAAY

"Which was thoroughly impossible. A comedy of errors to the highest degree. And this was who Tristan had chosen over Callum! This was what he had done, and in the murky plumbing of Callum’s allegedly nonexistent heart, he hoped that Tristan suffered for it."

Callum's intentions are stated here. He is jealous, but more than that, he still feels betrayed. This was the person he had ACTUALLY brought himself to care about despite his trauma (Direct quote: "Callum did not enjoy this, the destruction of a human psyche for which he had actually allowed himself to care."), Tristan would always be the most important person in his life, but from his pov, he is not Tristan's most important person, no, he's disposable to Tristan.

AGAIN THIS IS THE PERSON THAT SAW HIS FLAWS AND STILL ACCEPTED HIM (to an extent). Tristan saw him murder Parisa and still hung out with him. Everything was almost okay between them despite Callum revealing a lot of himself to Tristan.

This quote happened after Callum murdered Parisa:

"I’m not here to have a row," he [Tristan] said. "You’re right, of course. I know you’re right."

Callum looked warily unconvinced. "Is that supposed to be concession or a compliment?"

"Neither. A fact. Or rather, a white flag."

“So this is a truce?”

"Or an apology," Tristan said. "Whichever you prefer."

CALLUM HAD FOUND SOMEONE THAT SAW HIM:

"I see you" came out of Tristan’s mouth before he had decided fully what to say.

AND IN HIS POV TRISTAN REJECTED HIM FOR SOMEONE "GOOD". Tristan rejected him for someone who would never do anything unseemingly like him. That is the crux of this, that is the deepness of this hurt, that Callum can never be like this version of Libby he perceives, someone good, innocent and moral. He thought that he had someone who would accept his damage and trauma and (in his pov) he was wrong.

"This was just the world. You trusted people, you loved them, you offered them the dignity of your time and the intimacy of your thoughts and the frailty of your hope and they either accepted it and cared for it or they rejected it and destroyed it and in the end, none of it was up to you. This was just what you got. Heartbreak was inevitable. Disappointment assured."

He is back to his typical apathetic ways, as earlier in the book it is implied that this isn't the first Callum has been rejected like this, with his mother and father (potentially his sister) and others that he had watched himself fade out of significance to them:

"They loved you one day, didn’t the next. Callum had watched himself fade in significance from too many people’s lives, and yes, okay, that was not an excuse for … what was it that Tristan had disliked about him, ultimately?"

And also, I find this important:

"Honestly, Callum was doing just fine with his grief."

Callum labels what he has been experiencing for this past year as grief. Showing just how much Tristan's betrayal hurt him.

But enough about Callum, that's pick apart Tristan's most important words:

"Whether you put it there or not," Tristan said, his voice heavy with irony, “this—between us—it was real for me."

Tristan's belief that this might not be real, was what made him agree to murder Callum. Parisa describes him as being in agony with this decision until:

"A little slip of parchment from his head ignited suddenly in flames; curling edges that fell to smoldering pieces, crumbling to ash."

This is interesting because the paper/talisman that Tristan uses to discover that Callum is manipulating him is described as a "slip of paper", which is essentially the same as "parchment".

It was not Callum's "killing" of Parisa that made him decide, nor Callum's constant suggestions to kill Libby, not even that if the initiates didn't kill Callum they would likely start attacking each other, which would put Tristan's life on the line. Tristan and Callum's bond went beyond those things. Instead, it was the concept that their bond, which was so strong it made Tristan (eventually) overlook Callum murdering someone he cared for, was fake, meaning that he had no reason to continue to care for someone that doesn't give a fuck about anyone else.

So this is Tristan acknowledging that the reason he justified murdering Callum wasn't good enough. That he's realized, even if it was fake, he doesn't care. Because what they had was great enough that it didn't matter. It was real to Tristan.

"You can pretend that it didn’t matter."

This is interesting because both Callum and Tristan believe that the other is acting like what they had was nothing. For example Callum's pov:

"As if Tristan’s resolution to kill Callum was less of a betrayal purely because he’d changed his mind. As if everything that Callum had ever shared with Tristan—every intimate thought, every private confession—had been a falsehood—or if not a falsehood, then so very paltry that it could be unimagined, rescinded, undone."

It's miscommunication at its finest.

"That I was the one who wronged you. That you had no hand in how things happened. That I made a choice based on nothing, based on my own insecurities and flaws."

This is Tristan saying that the murder and betrayal, should not be ignored either. Callum should not sit all high and mighty and analyze what happened through an unfeeling, apathetic lens, then, claim that Tristan did this because of the intricate way his emotions and trauma clashed together. Callum knows why this happened, they know each other very well and ignoring all the messed up fuckery that led to Tristan's betrayal would be denying their relationship.

This is furthered by:

"But I am not such an idiot—I’m not so devoid of feeling," Tristan spat, "to not be perfectly aware that you and I had something rare and difficult and fucking significant, and in the end it only broke because I broke it."

The most important part here is that Tristan is admitting fault. He knows they could have continued their homoerotic friendship if he didn't choose to kill Callum. That, yes, Callum is also to blame but Tristan was the one who ended it. And he's sorry. Telling Callum sorry before didn't work so he's saying it in a different way. This is desperation. It's saying: I don't care if you hurt me or manipulate me. I accept that. I accept your faults. What we had is more important. Please stop pretending that it was nothing.

Now back to Callum's POV:

"He felt his victory ballooning into rage, pure rage. He felt anger with an intensity that was incandescent with bereavement. He wanted, just as he had wanted at the beginning of this godforsaken year, to murder Tristan. To take him by the throat and slice him into ribbons and serve him like a roast—and also, to meticulously and with great inconvenience inconvenience to himself weave a flower crown laden with unrequited meaning, with which to adorn Tristan’s incredibly stupid and perfectly functioning head."

CALLUM AGREES WITH WHAT TRISTAN SAYS, FURTHER PROVED BY THIS:

"Mostly, though, Callum wanted Tristan to suffer profoundly for every honest word out of his mouth."

But he doesn't understand exactly what Tristan is saying. Because yes, everything between them was important and they both had a role to play in its downfall. But Tristan still rejected Callum. Tristan's emotions tell Callum that he loves Libby. Everything that Callum is not.

To him, Tristan doesn't love Callum but Callum loves Tristan.

"—and also, to meticulously and with great inconvenience inconvenience to himself weave a flower crown laden with unrequited meaning, with which to adorn Tristan’s incredibly stupid and perfectly functioning head."

The key word is "unrequited". Callum loves Tristan with his everything. He admitted before:

"I love you. That’s why you can’t turn your back on me, even if you want to."

Of course, Callum slipped this in while he was manipulating Tristan so he could play it off as just part of him telling Tristan what he wanted to hear his father say.

However, he doesn't believe Tristan feels the same.

But that's not necessarily true. Emotions are complicated. We know there has been a tarnish on their relationship since Callum "murdered" Parisa. As described by Callum himself:

"There is bitterness now, resentment. A bit of tarnish, or rust I suppose, on what we were.”

This is furthered by Callum manipulating Tristan, because how is Tristan supposed to trust any affection from Callum after knowing that Callum was playing with his emotions? Especially since Callum said he loved Tristan while making him more miserable than he's ever been in his entire life.

So Tristan is very upset with Callum, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him. But to Callum, it's the same sort of love Tristan holds toward his father, too bitter and wounded to really count.

Whereas Tristan's feelings toward Libby are more "pure" in a way. There's not that bitterness there, in fact, it's an obsession with her innocence as Parisa explains:

"You like her because she’s innocent, Tristan. Because she’s moral. Because she’s good. Because she represents something to you that the rest of us no longer have, because we came here. And because we made choices."

and:

"Libby Rhodes is not your goodness, Tristan,"

Libby hasn't hurt him like the others, so his love for her is pure.

To Callum, this is a rejection of him as he is not everything that is good.

Not to mention, Tristan acknowledging that what they had was real is terrifying to Callum. He refuses to open himself up to love and trust after Tristan's betrayal. He knows those emotions only weaken him. He cannot allow it to happen again.

So Callum does the only thing he knows how to do:

"Good luck," said Callum. "With everything. Hope it works out between you and Rhodes."

Tristan’s expression darkened. "Did I not just say—"

He continues his plan.

"Like Atlas Blakely, Callum was going to stick to his plan, even if it was objectively flawed and would lead to either despotism or tears."

In Callum's mind, he can't have Tristan even if he wants Tristan. He cannot trust and cannot untaint Tristan's feelings for him, so he continues with his plan, with his depression, with his persona of apathy because he is the only safe option in his mind.

So those are my thoughts!

#novacaine #tristan caine #callum nova #the atlas six #tristan x callum

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luvkun4 · 2 years

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wait wait wait i just read your period sex thing (it was SUPER good) and now my thoughts fixating on kunikida 😵‍💫🥴 if the warm up game is still open, what about him degrading the reader? (i normally never thought of him with this but i feel like he’d snap and switch to much harsher words/demeanor while fucking the shit out of you if you have frustrated him enough up until that point and the fact that this happens rarely is even hotter methinks)

KUNIKIDA + DEGRADATION

ꕤ warnings: fem!reader, modern au, smut, established relationship, rough sex, vaginal penetration, some dirty talk, degradation, one singular slap, orgasm denial, not proofread

ꕤ word count: 0.3k

. . . i actually hc him to be a bit of a brat tamer, therefore i hc him to be into this 🤭 another one of those things that seem ooc but are very much in character in my eyes

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED, MINORS DNI!

Your head rests atop the pillows, back arched and ass up as your boyfriend pushes into your warmth. He groans, squeezing the plush of your ass as he starts to rock his hips. You whimper beneath him, feeling your stomach flip when he pistons deep into you.

He pulls out slowly, slamming back in hard. You gasp, and he moans in response, repeating his previous movement as he starts to find a pace. He gives you no time to ease into the feeling, immediately picking up a rough momentum. His head falls back, eyes rolling at the feeling of you clenching around him.

His fingers dig into the skin of your ass, holding you still while he fucks you like a toy. You mewl under his form, choking on all your moans every time he pulls one out of you. Kunikida places a hand on your head to keep you down, leaning forward just enough for you to hear him when he whispers in your ear.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” he asks, a slight rasp to his voice, “To fuck you like a slut until your mind goes numb?”

You answer, though your response is interrupted by a swear slipping your tongue. Kunikida smirks, dragging his hand down your back and keeping it there. His hips snap into your backside repeatedly, merciless and eager. You utter his name, or at least try to, unable to properly speak. His hands move to your hips, tightly gripping you only to fuck you harder.

“I wanna hear you, slut,” he grunts, “You were begging for my cock earlier — keep it up.”

Your face burns, body hot and mind fuzzy from the force at which he pounds into you. His words only fuel your arousal though, triggering that coil in your stomach.

“P-please, Kunikida — fuck- m’gonna cum,” you whine, your sentence almost incomprehensible.

“Drunk off my cock already, huh?” he asks in a condescending manner, “Mm my perfect little cock whore — can only take so much before creaming all over me.”

He bites his lip, raising his palm only to give your ass a smack.

“Hold it, I know you can,” he states, “You cum when I tell you to, understood?”

taglist! [ @snake-titan @discordkittenjoestar @wh0reforlevi @requiem626k ]

#[📩] requests #[ drabbles ]#bungo stray dogs #bsd #doppo kunikida #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #kunikida x reader

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smolstarthief · 2 years

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(tw: Suicide mention)

So I just realized something: Sumi was completely suicidal/on the verge of killing herself before Maruki put the filter on her. And by that I mean (from what I read and learned), she was reaching severe levels of that before her family had her see Maruki.

So that would add another layer of why she was grateful to him despite everything tbh. Like it wasn't an ethical or perfect solution, but it did give her more time even if she didn't realize it at the time. She found new friends and a proper support system, even when the filter wore off and she showed her more selfish side (still wish that was addressed more but oh well). I can fully understand people's issues with it but that aspect tends to get overlooked a lot methinks.

As a mutual puts it, Maruki was put in a, "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation so this whole choice really isn't an easy one (unless he did it unconsciously?). Like it's not exactly good to just slap on a metaphorical band-aid and consider things fine (for now) but at the same time... What else can you do? Especially when apparently every other method failed to help her (Now I'm wondering if the failed attempts to help her that were done prior to meeting Maruki ended with her being dismissed as a "hopeless case" which worsened her mental state further which can sadly happen in some irl cases and especially considering how apparently shitty Japan is regarding mental health).

Add onto the fact that he was one of the few people besides her family, coach, and later the PTs that gave a damn about her and she understood where he's coming from in return, her wanting to help him and is grateful to him despite the complicated circumstances and his actions make sense.

It's not Sumi forgiving an "abuser" but rather her acknowledging the good it did ultimately give her, she just didn't need it anymore and Maruki needed to stop running as well (which he ultimately does).

It's another grey area and the filter was no exception. It was well-intentioned but also not good in the long run for obvious reasons.

#starchild rambles #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 royal #p5r #p5r spoilers #tw: suicide #sumire yoshizawa #kasumi yoshizawa #takuto maruki #dr maruki

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brookheimer · 1 year

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Dfunk anon (off anon now bc who givea a fuck) from earlier love uuu thank you for validating my takes <3

Yeah obviously i dont mean the if you love roman dni shit seriosuly lol. Thags gow it is with this show today we hate em tomorrow we love em again, they contain multitudes. Its the awful people show, we were doomed from the start what else did we expect et cetera

One thing that did shock me was shiv's pregnancy reveal to tom, do you have any thoughts on what the fate of tomshiv might be? Ifl at this point shes too far gone sges gonna do everyhing in ger power to "win" and if she doesnt at least shell bring everyone down with her.. ita gonna get ugly methinks. Anyway i understand if you gotta go to sleep i should too its been real gn

YOOO DRUNK ANON REVEAL !! hello and thank u for the asks they were a joy truly. no bad takes in sight!

and yeaaaah the tomshiv moment this ep really really Got me — personally found it like 10000x more affecting than the screaming match last episode. one of my fav tomshiv convos ever maybe? like just so devastating bc they just fundamentally do not understand each other the way they want to be understood. but as for ur question yeah i can’t really see them ending up in a happy marriage to say the least! i do think there will be attempts at reconciliation probably from tom’s end — once it really sinks in that she wasn’t lying about the baby, i think he’ll try to talk to her. i mean, from his perspective, shiv came up to him to try to sweettalk her way back into his life after their blowup last night not bc she actually meant her apology but bc she wanted an in at ATN on election night, and she used the one thing tom has explicitly wanted more than anything else in their relationship — a baby — against him as a manipulation tactic to try and reel him in. like, his response to her was genuine and hurt; it wasn’t an attack so much as a deeply sad “you’re…. seriously going to do this to me? this is what we’re doing?” and of course shiv is horrified and furious he doesn’t believe her (understandably so, i know i would be too), and everything goes downhill from there. i think yeah, it’ll probably get ugly, but just in general i’d be a little surprised if the ending were like insanely bleak. the show cares too much about its characters for that, which is a good thing — they won’t receive unrealistically horrible endings to hammer in The Satire, because yes succession is a satire, but it’s also a character and relationship study. they’ve never sacrificed that for satire before (except for greg but who gives a fuck its greg) so i don’t think they will now. i don’t think there will be a happy ending but i do think it’ll be open ended enough that some form of reconciliation or at least like peace (as in even if they’re not together i think there will be a sense of self-assurance, in a way, that there isn’t right now) will be visible somewhere off in the distance. whether or not the characters will actually ever reach it is anyone’s guess, but i don’t think succession will revel in their misery in a Boom Haha Satire Fuck Em way. i don’t think it’ll be a hopeful ending by any means, but i do think it’ll be an ending that holds room for some distant hope, rather than snuffing it out entirely (cough veep cough cough)

sorry that was much more of a general / thematic answer than specifically tomshiv related but tbh as of rn i have no fucking clue how the show is going to end — it just feels like there’s too much left, like there’s so much more i want to see. i’ve gotten a lot of asks along the lines of like “you’re so good at predicting things! any predictions for the ending?” (which, first of all, thank u <3) but my ‘predictions’ are really more about following the latest narrative threads than anything else. like, ask me again next week LMAO bc it’ll all depend on what happens in the coming ep. i have a broader sense thematically on the tone i think the show will try to strike but as for details im totally lost — it feels too far away! how can it end so soon there’s so much left! but ya know. we shall see >:)

#sorry for lowkey hijacking this ask to answer OTHER asks in my inbox. o would copy paste to those asks but i am lazy and on mobile so it #would b hard #is this comprehensible? dunno. brain mush. post #succession #succession spoilers #succession speculation #asks #loversneverlose #long post #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy #. kinda

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laughterbynight · 7 months

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The lady doth protest too much, methinks

I've been thinking more about the virtue flagging on tumblr and censorship/purity culture etc. and I thought it might be a good idea to point something out to a lot of younger folks on here who seem to make a point of going on any post they don't agree with and accusing the OPs of being [insert gross thing here] for [insert arbitrary reason here] and then proudly yelling about how they would NEVER support whatever the thing is and that's what anti censorship is etc etc.

Now I know many people have seen this happening and many more know that explaining the history of censorship doesn't change anything because media literacy is in hell, but there's another part to this I don't think many of y'all understand so I'm going to explain it quickly.

The title up there is a line from Hamlet. Link

The title alone should be enough to trigger an understanding of what I'm about to say but for those unfamiliar, the idea here is that when someone protests something WAY TOO MUCH AND TOO VEHEMENTLY, it's probably because they're actually doing or taking part in the thing they're arguing against. I don't know how well understood this concept is right now but it used to be pretty well universally understood. We have prime examples in the sheer number of conservative politicians who built their platforms on hating the queer community VERY OPENLY AND LOUDLY only to turn out to be gay men later on or in secret.

My point here is when you spend ALL of your time trolling posts to argue with people about censorship and toss out buzzwords and decry that you would NEVER support or consume whatever the thing in question is, to most media literate people you look like someone who is virtue flagging a little too hard or trying to (poorly) turn the attention away from yourself. In short you look guilty of what you're claiming to champion against.

I just thought that might be important to point out to some folks who clearly think they're doing the opposite. Often when people are obsessed with something (even if they're arguing against it) it's because they actually have a genuine interest. So if that's not how you want to be perceived you might want to chill the fuck out.

When people see you crusading they don't think, "oh someone else who is a good person who wants to protect people!" they think, "huh...wonder how long until that person is outed as being exactly who they argue against."

#censorship #purity culture #fandom culture #fandom #fanfiction #media literacy

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nulltune · 1 year

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hakuno kishinami, the very inconsistent artist ✨️ I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORD THIS NICELY so have this lil bit of hakuno fun fact/hc in a(n attempt at a) 4koma form 🫡

some more lynnie notes on this:

methinks hakuno's self of sense/identity is so bad that she genuinely wouldn't be able to draw anything that looks remotely like her </3 would just get increasingly frustrated at her inability to perceive herself that if she doesn't haphazardly scribble out whatever thing she drew in attempt to picture herself (like u see above there ^) then she'd probably accidentally tear the paper while trying to erase and redraw ^_T

that's a Genuine attempt at drawing random mob girl btw ..... 🚶‍♂️ tis the typical hakuno art style ! ugly af but if hakuno likes you A Lot (like with sakura here) then that is simply and somehow just powerful enough to unleash her inner artist. hakuno would be extra critical of herself when it comes to this tho (hakuno vc it doesn't capture their charm :/ *literally drew the most beautiful piece of them ever*)

speaking of sakura, hakuno likes her 🫶 sakura's good at understanding hakuno — due to literally being able to read her brainwaves and heartrate — but yeah! hakuno has mixed feelings on that because it'd be easy for sakura to pick up on her stress/unease too and hakuno's the type to bottle that shit up haha- but she doesn't dislike having someone being concerned for her wellbeing 🥹 and hakuno's always wanted that human connection y'know...... it's nice to be understood :,)

#&&. hcs #dooble tag #gotta love da way i say i Cannot Word n then proceed to word vomit 💀 typicalynn behavior smh....#h.akuno's such a funny widdle moon girl tho sgkfbsjf #for someone who's supposed to be a Rational and Unbiased third party #she can truly be Da Most emotional and (subconsciously?? unintentionally??) biased mfer.!!!!#but she's cute so it's okiee <3

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pierrotsloop · 1 year

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dissertation number one uhm it is very sad that the other kid who isn't shapey never went home cuz his parents didn't even love him when they realized their mistake but it's so sweet that him and shapey get to hang out cuz its probably the first and only time they've had someone in their lives who genuinely loved and understood and paid attention to them :( . Also alone is SOOOO fucking sad I am glad they dedicated time to specifically talk about how patriarchal repressive society causes such grotesque things to happen to women . Cuz we see how bad it is for married mothers (it is veerrryy bad) but even they have slightly more stability over single women when women are commodities cuz these women's only options are to be used and disrespected and lose all sense of self worth and stability or be so despairingly lonely that theyre driven to what is basically self harm and either way it is constantly shoved in their faces that they have no agency over themselves or their bodies even when they're alone. ☹️ Also poor fucking Orel what a sad sad fellow. It just gets so increasingly unbearable to see him treated the way he's treated he is so young and so well intentioned and he just wants to do things right and be loved like most children do but he is so stuck :( watching him be stuck in the woods bleeding with his stupid fucking dad was miserable enough but on top of that being feared and dismissed by the entire town that's always at least been kind to him and betrayed/manipulated by his best friend who is also doing what he's doing bcuz of repression and neglect when he needs love and approval is so. GRAAHHHH .☹️☹️☹️. + the alcoholic dad grind is noooo joke whewboy ☹️also more about it being veeeery bad for married women ohh my god numb is such a ☹️episode too . poor fucking bloberta (I could still fix her) hoooboy. I even feel bad for clay who is very much a villain but driven to his ways by circumstances of repression . Bro just becomes increasingly aware that he is a bad person and it makes him be worse and hate everyone and himself even more and also he cannot do gay activities and it is so . Yikes!! ☹️ Still utterly haunted by his end of nature part one drunk monologue and also nurse bendy freaking out in alone :( shwewwwwww:( it is so upsetting to know there was supposed to be five seasons with slow character development but they had to cut all of it cuz the moment an already incredibly fucked up show talks about actual people's emotional circumstances the company just can't deal with it >:( a waste of an incredibly important and unique narrative methinks . ALSO the episode where he kills himself a bunch of times is so upsetting but also fucking gorgeous like visually and sound wise in the dreams.

#moral orel #sad sad miserable little clay people

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luveline · 2 years

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GAH jade this is going to be so rambly so apologies in advance! but i honestly did not read marauder fics at all until i read that lil blurb u posted about really really shy reader and rockstar remus (which by the way was delicious) and i was like wait a second i need to read more of this stuff and oh my god jade!!!!! just!!! i’ve been obsessing over your steve and eddie stuff for months now and like GOD i’ll obviously read anything you write and now i’m just speed reading the rest of your masterlist!! methinks i’m a sirius girly but obviously love jamie and remus too. i just read the second part of the mouth of september and i’m just in absolute awe of you!! (this is coming from someone who’s 25 so i’m not like an old hag or anything lol but) you’re so young it just blows my fucking mind how you so perfectly capture what it feels like to be depressed, the feeling stuck and unable to pull yourself out, feeling too much and then being numb. you explain it perfectly. and it makes me so sad you’re able to explain it so well. that second part of the fic jus—— the whole part with remus about being stuck in the shelves. the guilt of knowing people care about you and you still want to die. the tired of being grateful for life. wanting so much to be needed by someone else and being SO mad about it. just- i’m in fucking awe and that chapter is quite literally one of the best things i have ever read. you’re amazing and so so so kind and lovely, thank you for sharing your hard work with us.

it is kind of sad that it's something i chose to write about but i really like that i shared it and that you and other people talk to me about it because it makes it worth it ! not going through all the stuff that drove me to write it, but the process of putting it into a story and offering other people the chance to feel understood and comforted by our fave characters about those things! i don't know, it was just something that made me feel better and im glad /super flattered you feel so strongly about it ♥♥♥🥺

#jade's asks #ily

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sunbentsky-archived · 2 years

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More Jess things ‘cause the brain loves her:

she didn’t finish high school. Her family was killed during the summer between 10th and 11th grade, and she didn’t attend anymore after that. Even before, she was barely passing her classes, always getting in trouble, and simply didn’t have the patience or interest for most subjects. She had a knack for physics, out of all things, and enjoyed and was good at sports. Otherwise, it wasn’t the kind of environment where kids like Jess could engage in learning productively.

that tweet that’s like “i hate shakespeare. what the fuck is ‘methinks’?? bitch i’m gonna kill you’

she’s been detained for petty crimes so many times (mostly shoplifting, trespassing, vandalism, disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, minor theft, etc.) that Sheriff Whitehorse has seen her growing up more than Dutch has.

the first time she killed someone, it was an accident and was ruled self-defense. It did make the second time easier on Jess’ conscience, however, until the body count climbed high enough that it didn’t matter to her anymore. That first intention kill was a peggie, a good while before the Reaping.

her parents’ murders and the kidnapping and torture were never properly investigated (three guesses why), but Jess also refused to cooperate with the police.

she’s learned about Eden’s Gate from Dutch, after he and various trusted friends around Hope County investigated and put two and two together. All of them would later become members of the resistance.

her anger issues run deep, are a combination of inheritance and circumstance, and have never been properly understood or addressed by adults in Jess’ life when she was younger, least of all by Jess herself. Trauma only exacerbated what was already there.

while she doesn’t have the proper knowledge on a theoretical level, she has a good, almost instinctual, understanding of aerodynamics and the like. It’s what makes her so deadly with a bow.

she doesn’t realize how impressionable she is when it comes to older adults whom she admires and looks up to for their accomplishments. With the right guidance, the broken pieces of her life are still salvageable into something whole. With the wrong kind of influence, she can be made into something much, much worse.

doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself besides living another day, killing another peggie. She doesn’t fear death, doesn’t have anything left in life to lose, doesn’t have any plans for the future or things she wants to do. Not that she’s self-sacrificial or has any ideas about being a martyr. Just doesn’t have it in her to care about how long she lives anymore.

in another life, she would have liked to play volleyball or basketball professionally, might have gone into aerospace engineering, or even become a park ranger. None of that matters now.

she prefers cats over dogs, but hasn’t considered getting some kind of animal companion. It’s just another mouth to feed and another hide to look out for besides her own.

almost none of her many, many scars (will make a full post about them at some point) come from clumsy accidents. Almost all of them are from encounters with peggies and the wildlife. She doesn’t wear them as a badge of honor, she wears them as a threat that she’s survived 100% of all fights she’s ever been in.

#JESS ABOUT: everybody’s got a talent; mine is putting arrows through the heads of people who wanna kill me #your honor i simply love her #ask to tag cause there's a lot here

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