Thinking about how the players of Double Life immediately started subtly being more careful because of the soul bonds. Thinking about how even though this is a death game, even though the goal has always been to stay alive at all costs and take as little damage as possible, I heard so many variations on "I'm going to have to get used to taking care of you, too" from so many of them, followed by them taking much better care of themselves. Thinking about how out of their way they go not to take small amounts of mundane damage from falls and drowning because the harm feels different when it isn't just you suffering it. Just...thinking a lot about that.

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

if we were to look at it through a racial lens, I do find it very interesting that Jupe’s wife is white. that the audience at Star Lasso are majorly white. that he’s basically robbing the Haywoods, a black family, of their horses to feed them to an alien creature for white people’s entertainment. that he was the token asian adoptee in sitcom as a child. the model minority. fitting himself back into a system that used and failed him as a child, so he can find some semblance of respect and power as an adult man, only to still be swallowed up whole.

scott pilgrim would have the audacity to post this about wallace with "no homo though!" in the tags

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

spto coming out has been such a surreal experience bc before it came out i was like. the one roxie kinnie (at least as far as i was aware, i’m not doubting that there were more out there) & now she has like a million stans and half of me is like “FINALLY other people who understand her the way i do” and the other half is like “i liked her before it was cool. my blorbo. mine.”

the "big picture" - whether that refers to some detached, calculated greater good; ruthless ambition and progress for the sake of progress; or even the dear listeners' cosmic indifference - as an antagonistic force in wolf 359 is so fascinating to me because of the way eiffel as a protagonist is set up to oppose it, just by nature of who he is. eiffel retains his humanity even under the most inhumane circumstances. his strength is in connection, and with that he's able to reach others who share his core values, but he's operating under a fundamentally different framework from the show's antagonists. he can never understand where they're coming from or be swayed by their points of view because, for better or worse, he can only see the world through a close personal lens.

it's an ideological conflict he has with all of them, but notably with hilbert: "you talk about helping people, but what about the real, live people around you? [...] that's your problem. you're so zoomed out." eiffel will never, ever see that "big picture" because he is so zoomed in. at his best, he puts things into perspective and grounds the people around him. at his worst, his perspective narrows so drastically inwards that he becomes blind to everyone and everything else. his failings are deeply, tragically human - they're personal, they're impulsive, they're self-destructive. they're selfish. no matter how much he might try to narrativize or escape from himself, he's still left with doug eiffel: "it's taken me this long to realize that running from everyone else means that you're alone with yourself." eiffel could never be convinced to harm others on purpose, but he has hurt people, and it's never been because he didn't care. the very fact that he cares so much, that he's incapable of reconciling the hurt he's caused with the things he values, is what keeps him from real growth for so long. where many of the other characters in wolf 359 will justify their cruelty in service of something they consider more important, eiffel is so caught up in vilifying himself and the fear that he's always going to harm the people he cares for without meaning to that he shuts himself off from the people who care about him and perpetuates his own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Man. Coming back to a podcast I haven’t listened to in a while is like coming home after a long exhausting day of adulting. Especially when that show has ended or is on hiatus.

.

four to doomsday is a funny serial because it’s objectively kinda dull but it’s so SO good at showing us what makes fivey and his friends tick

.

I LOST EVERY OUNCE OF MYSELF SHOULD I RUN A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM EVERY MEMORY OF YOU? YOU? LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ME THINK NOT WITH MY HEART BUT WITH MY HEAD BUT I NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME DID I? DID I? NO I NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME DID I? DID I NEVER REALLY HAVE IT IN ME DID I? DID I? DID I? NO I NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME DID I? DID I NEVER REALLY HAVE IT IN ME DID I? NO I NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME NEVER REALLY HAD IT IN ME DID I? DID I?

willow everyone around me has a partner/fwb (we're in our 20s) and i'm still a virgin i feel so excluded 😔!! i want to have sex too i'm just scared and feel soooooo left behind. childish almost because i am an adult woman with a job and license and can legally drink and rent a car! grrrrr! and i know in my heart that it's silly to feel this way but i can't help it sometimes

oh my dear !!! 🥺 i think when we're surrounded by people that are involved in something that we're not apart of, it's very normal to feel excluded !! a lil' left behind !!! but 🥺 intimate relationships are not the same as hobbies or tv shows that our pals are into for the moment 🥺 and i think the fact that you do feel scared is !! v important !! and something that you should pay attention to !! 🥺🩷 regarding a vulnerable moment such as this, i think you would regret it more to rush into it with someone while you're scared, more than you would regret just waiting 🥺 until the time feels right 🥺

being a virgin does not equate to being childish, friend 🥺 you're right !! you're a grown ass woman with a job and a license !! that can drink and rent a car !! you're a multi-faceted human being 🥺 and you can't be narrowed down any one way !! 🥺 this is just another piece of you 🥺 and life is so different for everyone, you really can't compare yours or your experiences with others !! bc all that usually does is leave us feeling off-track, when really !! there is no track !!

it's not silly to feel this way 🥺 it's normal !! and i'm sure it will come and go and that's okay ! but know what's best for you 🥺 and if you're feeling a scared or unsure, it's so important to listen to that little piece of you ! 🥺

i am kissing you on the head friend ! and hoping that you don't feel pressured or left behind 🥺🩷✨️

i love that there are a couple traits consistent among seemingly all spider-man variants. their wit, they’re dorky-ness, their intelligence. their queerness

but i think my favorite has got to be their artistic creativity. the og peter parker takes photos, miles draws + graffitis, gwen plays the drums, hobie plays guitar, etc.

which only just adds to the un-spider-man-ness of movie!miguel that he, seemingly, doesn’t have any artistic interest or pursuits. his life is so consumed by this need to justify his trauma and make it useful that he doesn’t have anything to healthily express himself and have fun through. he doesn’t have any room left for any personality because he’s too busy being a leader and a weapon.

this also plays into that quick little line from miles in the counselor's office where he mentions not doing much art anymore,,,he's so consumed by this one mission of his (similar to miguel) to figure out how to travel across universes to meet his friends (falsely thinking that will just automatically solve his loneliness) that he's losing that art that makes him happy, purposefully ignoring it because it's not "useful". i think it's also relevant to note that gwen, the character who's defined by her aimlessness, (literally her only goal is survival. like just the bare minimum of "don't be homeless tomorrow", just simple, normal, human self-preservation) opens the movie by going to town on her drum set. on the opposite end of the spectrum miguel and miles are on, she has no goal at all and is fully leaning into her artistic abilities for comfort. ultimately, the difference lies in where these characters are choosing to find comfort. in the pursuit of a singular goal that suppresses emotion in the name of efficiency, or in moment-to-moment explosive self expression that doesn't ultimately make strides towards an end goal?

(honorable mention: hobie and his music. the guitar, ie his art, symbolic of being in touch with your emotions, is something he keeps close with him and uses productively in pursuit of his goals. it's strong, but focused. he's very in control of it. he has figured out how to hit a perfect balance between the two, adding to this big brother/mentor image in relation to gwen and miles.)

MAJOR PROJECT B-FER SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!

project b-fer is a game about loving yourself

song

listen valvert is a better exploration of les mis’s themes than enjoltaire could ever be