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casuallivi · 2 years

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III. The Chaotic Ordinary Couple

Part II can be found here. Dedicated to Azriel Appreciation Week 2022 Day 4 @azrielshadowsingerweek

"Are hooking up with that that high schooler?!" The skeptic hiss had Elain spitting coffee all over the textbook.

"Shit, shit, shit." She ripped a page from her nearest notebook, her effort from the last hour solving the equation going to waste in the hurry to suck up the damage. “Napkins!” She pleaded to Nuala.

If Nuala were a book character, she would definitely be Hermione, her purses always containing exactly what one needed no matter what they asked for. She reached inside of it, passing a package to Elain, a glare plastered on her face.

"You're stalling."

"I'm trying to save the book." She said defensively.

"I don't care."

"You know Jen wants to cancel my library card for excess of delays.”

“Are you?” she repeated, receiving more nonsenses about books and libraries.

“If I show up to return a book looking like this, she will gut me alive,"

"Elain Marie Archeron,” Nuala stretched every name individually, “if don't answer me in the next second I swear to God I'll bitch slap you." The more friend tried to play her; the more stressed Nuala felt. Last night she had the heart attack of her life. Elain, Feyre and Nuala had gone to the movies, the kid who was always glued to her sister tagging along, appealing for his case with an offer to drive them. Nuala was suspecting he had a crush on the younger Archeron, but when she went to share her theory with her friend, she caught him kissing Elain when he thought no one was watching.

“So?" she pressed?

“I’m not.” Elain couldn’t look more guilt if she tried.

“Care explain why he was cleaning your teeth with his tongue last night?”

Elain gulped. "I'm dating him, okay? He asked me on a date, called me his girlfriend, took me to his aunt's house and I feel in love with his crazy ass."

"Girl!"

"What?" Elain asks defensively. "You were always nagging me about finding a boyfriend, now I have you. Case closed."

Unbelievable. Nuala dropped herself on the other chair, taking a sip of Elain's coffee, nothing but air going up the straw.

"Girl, when you went all mysterious on me, I thought, like, you had a fling with that cute guy from Finances or something, not like, a goddamn kid!"

"He’s not a kid. He’ll finish school soon." Elain says defensively.

"Yeah, but you are here surrounded by hot college guys and he's there, doing math homework or something."

"I'm doing math homework." Azriel’s current status was a sensitive topic to her. In the beginning she was weird out for being crushing on a younger boy, she couldn’t even kiss him, their PDA revolving around lots of hand holding and long, long, hugs.

"Don't play coy with me Elain, or I swear to God," Nuala threatens. The farther the conversation went, the closer she felt to lose her shit. Now their plans to go on double blind dates had gone to shit. "A freaking high schooler. I can't believe you."

"What's the big deal? Guys date high schoolers all the time."

"Gross."

"Shut up, he's almost my age, and next year he'll be in college too." Elain sighed.

Why was she being condemned for finally having a boyfriend? Damned if she did, damned if she didn't. She packed her stuff, annoyed with Nuala's judgment. The two friends had always had similar views of life, so Nuala bashing her wasn't really a surprise. Still, Elain didn't like having someone else pointing fingers at her dating life. Nuala, who couldn't take a hint to save her life, choose to follow her outside the coffee shop.

"I'm not judging you." She said keeping up with Elain, who squinted, holding her bag like a shield. "I'm not. I was just... Surprised. I never pegged you for a cougar."

"Oh, fuck off."

He best friend's laughter echoed, attracting attention from the passerby. Elain bumped her hips against hers, urging her to quiet down. "I hate you."

"Samesies," Nuala said winking to a guy walking his dog.

"I can't believe you have a boyfriend and didn't tell me. Low blow Elain. How long is this going on? Did you popped his cherry?” She wiggled her brows, laughing when Elain tripped.

“Oh my god.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“I did not!”

“Bummer. So, what do you guy do? Kiss?” She grimaced.

Elain blushed. “What’s wrong with kissing.”

Nuala’s shoulders went up and down.

“Depends on how long you’ve been dating. Tell me everything.”

Elain bite her lip, muttering about lack of boundaries, considering how much she wanted to share in a place so open. In the end, she settled for the most superficial topics to use as bait for Nuala to leave her alone. The problem was once she started talking about Az, she couldn't stop, her annoyed face melting into a sappy one, her cheeks hurting from smiling, her hands gesticulating in the air for emphasis.

Elain told her friend all about her secret, which she miraculously been able to keep for six months! Nuala was extremely surprised with that information. She had always been an expert to coax the truth out of people, especially Elain, who she knew since kindergarten, but this time Elain was able to keep her out of her mind.

Nuala started hitting her arm with playful punches, her voice a tone too sweet.

"O. M. G. You're glowing. Stop that! You stop that now."

"I can't," Elain smiled at her. "I really like him."

"I can see that. God, who'd have imagined the Ice Princess had a thing for frail skinny teens."

"Nuala!"

"What? You're the one preying on the poor defenseless souls." She made the sign of the cross.

Elain shook her head, incredulous. Poor defenseless soul? Who? He boyfriend?! What a joke.

“Pfff, my Az is anything but defenseless. I swear to God, that boy came out without an "off" button, he manages to have energy than Feyre.”

Nuala stopped on her track, whirling to Elain.

"Energetic? Azriel? That quiet kid who hang with your little sister, always sketching gore pictured in his notebooks, that Azriel?"

"The one and only."

"That kid doesn't have one energetic bone in his body, Elain."

"You'd be surprised." Elain answered wiggling her brows, Nuala pretending to stick a finger on her throat and gagging.

"I've changed my mind, I don't want to know everything. I can't believe you are in love."

They reached their classroom, Elain sliding on the chair beside her, slamming her head on the desk with a sigh. "I know, I can't believe it either. I hate him."

Nuala rolled her eyes.

"No, you don't"

"No, I don't." Elain straightened up, smiling like a goofy idiot, releasing another torrent of fast words to praise her twig of a boyfriend. "His hair is so fluffy, I just want to touch it all day long. He looks so cute when he gets all mad about being younger than me, his cheeks go all shades of red. And he is so nice to me Nuala, even his parents like me. He introduced me to his folks before we even went on a date, what kind of teenage boy does that?"

"Ho-ly-shit."

Elain nodded in agreement

"My exact reaction. When we left the mansion, because that place is way too big to be called a house, I tried to choke him to death. Do you know what that smug bastard said to me? "She'll be your mother-in-law 'Lain, might as well get comfy from now." He's confident he'll marry me."

"That kid is hilarious."

The conversations around them died down when their favorite professor walked into the room, Tarquin's piercing turquoise eyes roaming until they found Nuala's grey ones. She winked at him.

"I'm going to bang him." She announced with confidence. Elain's eyes darted from her to the professor, shaking her head in denial.

"You're playing with fire, Nu."

"Nope, pretty sure he is a water sign. He got the vibes."

They chuckled, ending the gossip session and fishing their textbooks, Elaine's with big brown spots and glued pages. Shit. She would have to buy a book and donated it to the library, wouldn't she?

She groaned silently.

Goodbye sweet august paycheck, it was nice dreaming about you.

“Don’t look!” He stressed for the hundredth time, hands covering her eyes.

“I’m not looking.”

“I’ll know if you look.”

“Dude! My eyes are closed down here.”

Azriel kicked something out of the way, probably a spray can from the noise of it heating the wall. They walk a few more steps, Elan going slowly, afraid of the unknown path, Azriel behind her, stirring her in the right direction. He’d grown a tad taller than her since they’ve met, not letting her forget about it for one measly second, constantly supporting his chin on the top of her head. According to him that was a "power move" to let her know who was the boss. The purple spots on his ribs, from the many times she elbowed him after listening to that nonsense, told her exactly who was the boss.

“Okay, keep it closed," he took his hands off, repeating, "don't cheat!” one last time before his body heat disappear. Elain stood by herself with her eyes closed, the faint noise of the air conditioner her only company. She jumped when sometimes heavy scratched the floor, Azriel screaming "not yet," as she was about to open her eyes.

Large hands encased her waist, long skilled fingers intertwining over her belly, her cropped shirt granting him easy access to her skin. Elain relaxed against his chest, breathing deeply. She could scent the expensive paint, his vibrant perfume, and the delectable woodsy fragrance that always seemed to impregnate his body.

Azriel kissed her hair thrice – his lucky numb. "Okay, on the count of three."

She cleared her throat, imagining herself as an announcer.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

The place was familiar.

Elain was accustomed with classroom he, Feyre and four more students shared as a makeshift studio. Under normal circumstances she would not be allowed to wander their school as much as she did, but dating the principal's "favorite son" (Az's words, not hers) came with its perks. Sometimes she would free her morning to come sit on a corner and watch two of her favorite people in the whole world working, not understanding squat about their creative process, smiling at the few shared jokes, sending Azriel kisses every time he winked her way.

This room was usually a mess, the six work tables spread around filled with materials, canvas from different sizes sitting against the wall, half-finished paintings and sculptures visible in every corner. Today the place was different, incredibly clean, not an unfinished work in sight, only a medium-sized canvas resting peacefully in a wood tripod.

Elain gasped, hands flying to her mouth, eyes bulging out.

The painting exposed a tattooed naked lady, stretching her arms up in the air with a serene expression. Elain recognized the pattern instantly.

In front of her was an artsy redemption of Fibonacci's Sequence. The girl on the painting was throwing her body back, arching herself in a way her spine followed the curve Fibonacci's spiral in the mockery of an elegant stretch, her long brown hair cascading towards the lateral of the canvas, the curls vanishing where no longer white screen ended. Her naked body gleamed with thousands of small dark-blue spirals, that at first glance could be mistaken by careless tattoos, the form actually being clever repetitions of the bigger arc.

She was speechless.

"Do you like it?" Azriel asked after a while, his voice so small and fragile she felt her heart strain. Her over confident lover boy was hardly one to feel insecure, his rare doubts usually linked to his desire to please her. Elain covered his hands with hers nodding her head vehemently.

Her eyes watered. Elain wasn't an art specialist but this was this was the prettiest painting she had seen in her life. Her mind drifted to a couple months back when she was gushing about her exciting college life, how she was loving to delve deeper into math, how number where intrinsically connected to life.

"You're shitting me," Azriel had protested, his head laying on her lap. "Art is connected to life baby, not math." He had the special ability to make the word “math” sound like an insult.

"Na-an. Math gives life." She argued.

"Math can't give life. Art gives life, art is the soul of a human. What the fuck numbers have to do with life?

Elain ran her fingers through his soft hair, yanking it hard when he cursed again, calling him a "potty mouth."

"Have you studied Fibonacci's sequence yet?"

"Who?"

"Fi-bo-na-cci." She repeated slowing, tugging his hair with every syllabus just for the hell of it. "How are you passing your classes?"

"Using my delightful charms at my advantage, just like I did with you. Who was the guy?"

"He was an incredibly talented mathematician,"

"Like you?" He interrupted her with a wink.

"Better. He created a numerical sequence where you can find the next number by adding up the two antecedents to it. The sequence allows one to see mathematical logic, the perfect connection of numbers with nature."

"I don't get it." His confused face was so cute, Elain wished she had a camera to snap a picture. She pinched his cheek.

"Fibonacci’s sequence prime objective is to bring forth the scientific beauty of perfection, is the perfect reflection of order and organization."

Azriel was grimacing as someone who has a massive stomachache, his forehead creased as he tried to understand how the heck math could be beautiful. "You lost me."

Elain smiled down at his puppy face. "I noticed."

"Why does a guy look for beauty in math? Girls are way better. I much rather dedicate my time to learn your curves than stupid numbers." Elain flicked his forehead. "Come on! Have anyone ever told how violent you are?"

"No, tell me."

She traced his glorious thick eyebrows, following the shape of his nose all the way to the bow of his upper lip, Azriel puckering them to kiss the tip of her finger again and again.

That day he was so confused while she talked, now he was here showing her a gorgeous painting inspired by their conversation. The mind of an artist worked in mysterious ways.

"There’s an artist I like," Azriel's baritone broke her thoughts. "Elisa Breton. She has these amazing surrealist paintings, the strokes on the canvas so vivid you can feel her unconscious taking form. I envied her for it. I couldn’t get personal with my art before, my paintings didn’t reflect me. “They lack soul,” my teachers would scold me, “There’s no passion, Z." It used to drive me mad. I thought it was impossible to express myself when there’s so much I wished to say about the world and society in general." Azriel rested his chin on her shoulder, his smile palpable, his voice mellow and passionate. “Then a met a cute brunet who takes space in my mind all day long.”

Elain sighed deeply, flipping her hair on his face. “Is not my fault you are completely in love with me.”

“It totally is. I can’t look at numbers without imagining your sixes and your nines,"

"Azriel!" She untangled from him with a couple of punches, aiming for his stool to park her ass, Azriel following her lead and sitting on the other free one.

"Anyways. I figure if couldn’t stop thinking about you I had to push you out somehow.”

“Gee, so romantic.”

“I have things to do, woman! The art world won’t conquer itself.”

“Yeah, yeah, keeping talking about how I’m disturbing your gran plans.” Azriel dragged his stool closer, the wood rasping on the floor. He braced his hands on her thighs and bite her cheek. “Ah!”

“You puff your cheeks when you pout.”

“I wasn’t pouting.” Elain rubbed her cheek, eyes going back to the painting, the meticulous details giving her goosebumps. "This is truly beautiful Az. I mean it."

"The power of my muse." Elain snorted, cleaning the tears from her eyes.

“I can’t believe you used math properly.”

"Your faith in me is astonishing. For me, number don't mean a fancy sequence that I can't wrap my head around. For me, numbers mean you."

Elain craned her neck to grin at him.

"You did find beauty in numbers after all."

Azriel rolled his eyes.

"I know. I was shocked too."

"Does it have a name?"

"Autumn's Fall."

“Why Autumn’s Fall?”

“That's when we've met, you know?” He kissed the corner of her mouth, warm lips lingering on her skin, Elain melting in his arms. "We've meet in autumn and then I fell for you."

Her lips curve upwards, her heart thumping like crazy.

"You're such an artist."

He wheezes, "thank you.” Azriel pushed back, bracing his elbows on the table behind him. "I have news."

"More?"

"More. Remember Cinthia Hawthorne?"

"The art curator?"

Azriel nods. "The one and only. She’s opening a new gallery, she wants to expose young talents into the market. The Palace of Youth. Cinthia wants to launch twenty-five new artists. It's an ambitious project, but she is confident about succeeding.” He paused for dramatic effect, enjoying the fact that Elain was playing attention to him, hanging on his words. "And she wants to expose my art there."

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

Elain jumped from her chair so fast he barely had time to catch her, his stool tumbling backwards, Azriel lading on his back with a painful noise, the feeling subsiding once she started to fill every inch of his face with kisses.

Elain grabbed his cheeks, moving his head from side to side, her smile making him feel like his own face was about to split in two. “That’s a good think, right? Like, real artist stuff.”

“Very good, very real.”

She sat on top of him, clapping like an excited little girl who was allowed to eat unlimited candy, celebrating with a made-up song. "My boyfriend is gonna be ri-ich, he's gonna have mo-oo-ney, oh yeah,"

“I am rich.” Azriel scoffed. "I'm a trust fund baby."

"You parents money doesn’t count. Rii-ii-iich, mo-ney, mo-neeey.” she danced on top of him, Azriel bracing his hands behind his head to avoid touching her. Another day of testing his limits. He knew she was kidding about being happy because of money, the hardest task in his life was making Elain accept his gifts.

Elain wiggled again, and Azriel couldn’t hold his tongue any longer.

"Should I expect a lap dance every time I sell a painting, too? Because if so, I'm going to be a very determined artist."

She stopped dancing, landing her hands on his stomach. When Elain looked down, Azriel could instantly read the request in her beautiful brown eyes. He did his best to conquer his nervousness, slowly placing his hands on her waist, heat emanating between them. "I'm going to kiss you," he warns evenly "Say no if don't want me to."

Elain couldn't say a world if she wanted. If she was being honest, Elain no idea about what healthy intimacy looked like. Her parents had been a disaster, her mother feel in love with a wannabe rock singer and left home when she was seven, her dead was an alcoholic who couldn't not differentiate day from night, her older sister considered herself heartless. But none of that mattered when she was with Azriel. He made her feel safe, wanted, loved. She closed her eyes and bent down, stopping a breath short from his mouth, brave enough to start asking for his kisses, but not yet brave enough to take them herself.

Under her, Azriel was shaking, his hands trembling as he upped on to her cheek, closing his eyes, Elain delicious minty breath fanning his lips. He moved forward, anticipation making his heart gallop like a racing horse, bumping his nose on hers,

"E-LA-IN!"

Feyre loud yell bloomed around them, Elain shoving Azriel away, getting up do fast she accidentally stepped on little Az. His soul left his body, which rolled to the side under a curse and a painful growl.

The youngest Archeron didn't spare him a glance, running straight to her sister, jumping on her, the fresh paint in her overall smearing all over Elain's white shirt, her euphoric speech delivering her own special news.

"A rich lady wants to put my art where other rich ladies will want to buy my art!" Feyre's laugh was contagious, Elain hugging her tight as her feet went back to the ground. "Are you proud? Are you proud? Tell me you are proud!" She asks with gleaming eyes.

“I’m so proud Fey, you are the best artist I know. You are going to be the best artist in the world.”

“Hey!” Azriel intervened with a raspy voice, blindly searching for the stool to help him up.

Feyre pointed a finger at his face. “Suck it Shadowloser, I'm the best." She turned to Elain grabbing her hand, "Can we surprise Nesta on her lunch break? I want to give her the news."

The mattress dips besides him, a hand ruffles his hair, lovely stroking it until he was purring, snuggling on the comforter.

"Azriel…" A kiss on his forehead, "Az," a kiss on his cheek, "wake up," a kiss on his jaw.

“What time is it?" He grumbled.

Elaine's soft voice traveled to him, the sound like a caress on his ear. "One-minute past midnight." A lethal one.

"Christ, what are you waking me for? What's wrong?"

He couldn’t remember the last time he slept, his latest project taking every minute of his day.

"You mean, "what's right"?" Azriel peeled on eye open as she clicked the bed side table lamp to life, the yellow glow illuminating Elain, his girlfriend all bright eyes and white teeth, and,

What the heck was she wearing?

"You're officially legal!" Elain exclaimed, shaking him up, then she was blowing a party blower, the tip of it hitting his nose.

"Jesus Christ."

Azriel reeled back, rubbing the sleep way to separate the foggy dream from reality, thinking he might still be asleep to see her like that. He blinked. Nothing changed. Nope, not a dream, Elain was really wearing that. His gaze dipped to her legs going all to way up to her hair, inspecting the green stocking matching her green gloves, a dark green bodysuit matching her lipstick, and a cheap red wig, her brown roots visible where she was scratching her head.

"Here's your gift." She slapped something on his chest –the calendar he gave her years ago, opened on the last page, big black arrows pointing at the date he drew a bunch of hearts around. Elain tapped her index on the indecent male on the bottom, purring. "Flex for me, Az. Flex as if you were one of my french girls."

He snorted, placing the calendar on his pillow and going to his closet. "No, come back to bad! I waited years to crack this joke."

"Wait a minute. Since when are gift giving, I have one for you too."

He rummaged throw his coats, letting out a triumphant sound when his finger closed around the familiar object.

"Close your eyes and open you hand." He instructed Elain, who crossed her arms over her chest, looking annoyed as she eyed his pants.

"I'm not falling for that again."

"Get you head off the gutter, Archeron." He screeched, feigning being outraged, sitting with her. "Come one baby, do it for me."

"The pants stay on." She warned with killing glare.

"The pants stay on," he reported after her, complementing with, "for now."

Elain rolled her eyes, unable to hide the smirk trying to break free. With a resigned breath she did as she was told, extending both hands to tease him. "It's better be bigger than last time," she whispered diabolically, winning a bite in her wrist. "Oi!"

"Shhh." Azriel turned her palm up, placing a light weight on top of it, something cold, squared. "Open up."

Her brain shut down, her body paralyzed for complete at the sight of the opened velvet box, a sparkling engagement ring resting on the inside, the teardrop sapphire nearly blinding her with its beauty. "What do you think? Do you want to put it on?"

Elain breathed an ugly sound that was half cry, half laughter

"That's – what you said – the last time," she sobbed shaking her hand in front of his face, trembling as he slid the ring on her finger, kissing it before releasing her.

Elain didn't want to be released. She jumped on him, making a mess of his night shirt with snot and tears. Azriel held her fiercely, his hand going up and down her back to sooth her. When Elain pulled one of her gloves and used it to blow her nose, he finally asked her the real important question.

"Baby, what the hell are you wearing?"

The man he drew on her calendar had nothing on but some ivy vines snaked around his naughty bits, so Elain though it was a good idea to be his counterpart, a modest version of him since didn't want to risk his flat mate walking on her on the nude.

“I’m Poison Ivy,” she hiccupped adjusting her wig, his body shaking under her.

"I love you."

"I love you"

With a kiss, Azriel gently pushed Elain to her back, holding his weight on top of her, that's when she decided to dump a bucket of cold water on top of his head. "We won't marry until you graduate."

"My God woman, you are obsessed with my education!" Azriel fell back on the bed, letting his best dramatic sigh out.

They started a heated discussing, Azriel pleading an education was irrelevant to be married, that an artist was established once he started selling painting, which he already did, not when he received a piece of paper from college. In counterpart, Elain pleaded she was piece-of-paper-enthusiast, and that she wanted to hang his degrees all over their house.

Azriel said he wouldn't graduate just to spite her.

Elain said she wouldn't sleep with him just to spite him.

They started another argument, this one moved to the kitchen since she was hungry, Azriel offering to cock her lasagna, Elain kissing him and helping to sort the ingredients.

It was going to be a long night

- the end -

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daisyswift3 · 13 days

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A Summary of the 🎃 Messages--The Overarching Story

So I just realized sth abt the 🎃 messages while listening to ttpd—they’re in chronological order!! I am going to try to give a summary of these messages and explain why I believe this. This album has made 99% of her songs, mvs, metaphors, and symbols make perfect sense. There were always some things like getaway car, cruel summer, and the palm trees in rep era that I could never quite figure out but now it's all crystal clear. It's like ttpd is the last piece of the puzzle needed to make everything fall right into place and to see the whole messy complicated story. One thing I want you to take note of as you read this summary is how incredibly consistent Taylor is w her use of metaphors and symbols. This makes solving the puzzle that is her music more like solving a cypher that you can know you solved correctly bc all the symbols will fit together perfectly just like a secret code. Once you understand what one symbol represents you now know what it means every time you see it. Every word or phrase she uses is intentional and there's not a single easter egg that's out of place. You'll notice in ttpd there are several words and phrases that are repeated bc she wants us to know that certain songs are related. 🎃 anon said there would be many connections and foretellings in the messages that we could find if we held them to the light in the coming unfoldings, and boy they were not wrong. So w/out further ado let's get into it (just a warning though this will be pretty lengthy so grab your favorite drink, some snacks, and get comfy).

1st message: The first one starts right before rep era when her rep started going down and she started feuding w her record label. These are the obstacles she didn’t see coming that made her slam on the (getaway bike) brakes (which were cut so she had to use her foot to slow down) and not come out. The "heel damaged" could be a reference to Achilles' heel since this was a weak spot she didn't see or it could be a reference to Jesus' heel being bruised in the 1st ever biblical prophecy (see this post for more on that). This was her first big pivot and change of plans. Many ppl have theorized that TS6 was originally going to be a different album--perhaps lover/daylight--but kimye and BMR got in the way of that. This would explain why she wears an outfit w palm trees on it while cutting the wings off her TS6 jet. She spray paints "reputation" on it which seems to indicate it was a haphazard last minute change of plans (x). Plus the endgame mv has palm trees and shows Miami, Florida (which I think is related to Florida!!! but I'll have to get to that another time) connecting it to "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know...In the middle of the night in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you so I take my time." Miami is the paradise where her endgame happens. This all seems to indicate she was ready for "daylight" or "paradise" during rep era but had to pivot.

The Prophecy: “Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, Oh but it’s gone again"

2nd message: This is abt the lover rollout that started in spring of 2019 -> "The time draws near, springtime sunshine causing small drips and fractures." The ice castle likely represents the lover house (her music empire, past eras, and closet) since she burns it down w a match just like she does in the eras tour visuals and midnights -> "You strike a match and blow the smoke toward the structure that shelters and protects you. Suddenly, you hear a crack, a crunch, a whoosh. There is a sudden give beneath you, and you tumble through the broken, melting hole in your palace." The ivy reference (spring breaks loose, the time is near) just solidifies my theory that ivy is a song abt an eventual kaylor reunion that will happen before she burns all the files and deserts all her past lives (eras).

Lover era was her second big pivot. I believe she knew there was a very good chance Scott B would sell her masters all the way back in rep era hence why she says "I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone, devils roll the dice" (see this post for more on that). "However, in this suddenness you find yourself still somehow underprepared, kicking yourself for the time you squandered by wallowing in the seeming endlessness of your predicament" -> Her being unprepared to come out along w the mastersheist is what caused her to miss her 2nd opportunity to come out. She was so caught off guard that it made her indecisive. And so she played it safe and stayed in the closet -> "Our coming of age has come and gone, suddenly this summer it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near." Remember how I said Taylor is very consistent w her use of metaphors? Well I made a post a while back explaining how folkmore represents the seasons bc summer = daylight and winter = closeting and folkmore was Taylor trying to come to terms w her 2nd failed coming out hence the grey and beige ("I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige"); so that means the ice castle = winter = closeting and springtime sunshine = almost daylight = almost being out of the closet (and spring was also the time when the lover rollout started so it has a more literal 2nd meaning to it as well).

The Albatross: "So I crossed my thoughtless heart spread my wings like a parachute, I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue." [I think there's a good chance this song is abt Scoots so it makes sense the parachute metaphor, which relates to her masters and failed coming out, would be used in this song]

The Bolter: "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...It feels like the time she fell through the ice then came out alive." ['Long story short I survived']

3rd message: This is abt the mastersheist (diamond heist) during the summer of 2019. It parallels the I Can See You mv exactly (see this post). In hindsight it now makes perfect sense why 1989 tv didn't have any mvs--bc the Fortnight mv is a direct continuation of the ICSY mv! Before the Fortnight mv, the ICSY mv was the most recent one. She didn't want anything between those 2 mvs so that it was obvious they were directly related. Her losing her masters and her 2nd opportunity at daylight is what drove her to insanity and caused her to end up in the asylum -> "I find the artifacts, cried over a hat...I trace the evidence" // "And so I enter into evidence my tarnished coat of arms, etc" | "Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away?"

"Mere feet away from the light of freedom...Your getaway bike begins to leave without you, sparks flying as the tires try and fail to slow down for you. You have frozen in this moment of indecision" // "It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face...he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', 'Go, go, go!'" -> There are 2 getaway car mentions in this message which emphasizes its importance. This is likely for a few reasons: 1) To explain what the song getaway car was actually abt--her feud w BMR, not the beards 2) To show that message 1 and 3 are related; the getaway bike is mentioned in both since both are abt her masters 3) To show that the lover era pivot was actually just history repeating itself; this is what Cassandra and the Prophecy are abt.

Cassandra (notice the piano melody from mad woman): “So they set my life in flames, I regret to say do you believe me now? ['If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too']…They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time that I was onto somethin', [She knew there was a good chance her masters would be sold as shown in cruel summer] The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line" ['Now he sits on his thrown in his palace of bones praying to his greed']

Fortnight: "I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic 'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic [Her fans didn't notice the shift from rainbows and pastels to black mourning clothes during the lover era] All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason [The you in the song is Taylor; she's the reason she decided to stay in the closet] And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason?" [Taylor's indecisiveness is what led her to not come out the 2nd time]

loml (This is from Karlie's pov): "Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry...You shit-talked me under the table talking rings [Paper Rings] and talking cradles, [Lover mv] I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all, [They were so close to daylight]...It was legendary, It was momentary ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight']...Our field of dreams engulfed in fire" ['So they set my life in flames']

Florida!!!: "Little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in, ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight'; 'And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign'] So you work your life away just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin" [Taylor did all this masterminding and planning just to end up still stuck in the closet and bearding and only being able to see her lover in stolen private moments]

Fresh Out the Slammer: "Another [cruel] summer, taking cover, rolling thunder, he don't understand me"

The Bolter: "But it always ends up with a town car speeding" [getaway car]

Peter: "Forgive me Peter, my lost fearless leader, in closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids, Is it something I did?" [Peter is herself; 'I'd be a fearless leader' and the fearless album; 'closets' is obvious]

How Did It End?: "We were blind to unforeseen circumstances, We learned the right steps to different dances, and fell victim to interlopers' glances, Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?...It's happening again" [This is the 2nd time she's lost the opportunity to come out]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: "I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague" [They're in love w each other but can't be together in public; 'Break my soul in 2 looking for you but you're right here']

Down Bad: "For a moment [a fortnight] I knew cosmic love, now I'm down bad crying at the gym...'Fuck it if I can't have him I might just die it would make no difference'" ['You (Taylor) told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I (Karlie) ever leave']

5th message: Out of all the messages this is the one I'm the most uncertain abt. But I think it is possibly about JA leaving before his contract was up. "You are in a kitchen. Not your kitchen, of course. Your kitchen is soft and cozy and sacred. THIS kitchen is hard and cold and purely functional" -> This is not the sacred kitchen from Cornelia Street that she shares w her lover, this is a PR stunting kitchen that's a false imitation of the real domestic bliss she has. A few yrs ago kaylors were talking abt how Karlie has a kitchen that she only uses for PR/social media purposes so pumpkin anon could've been trying to remind us of that. These 3 messages from flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 anon make me think the breakup happened sooner than planned.

The July 29 message wasn’t meant to be posted until Oct 8 since it was hinting at the Toe breakup happening 5 months later in mid March, 2023.

The Nov 23 message mentions a “shift of footing” which we all agreed meant Toe 🦶 was over. The Dec 5 message w “the need to flex is sometimes necessary” directly following the Toe breakup message is what really makes me think it wasn’t planned. They had to pivot/flex but “other milestones are resolute” meaning the endgame is still the same—K and T will still reunite and both will be out of the closet at a certain time. Plus there’s the “…” at the end of the Nov 23 message which also indicates the Dec 5 one is a direct continuation of that message.

To add more credibility to this theory, RFI and SIG also have ellipses. RFI always seemed like it was supposed to be a direct continuation of SIG bc SIG sets up the “chess game” w her and her lover doing magic and pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, and RFI is when this chess game officially begins, "baby let the games begin."

Some other kaylors said they thought “the need to flex” meant that she wanted to give anti hero more time on the charts so she was flexing or showing off. But I think it makes more sense for it to be related to London Boy himself and not having him as a beard since that’s the whole purpose of having the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 flag. I could be wrong though.

So Long, London: “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away…Holding tight to your quiet resentment…Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there” [This may mean that JA kept trying to break free from the contract and Taylor kept trying to convince him to stay but it didn’t work]. "My spine split from carrying us up the hill, Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill" ['They are bowing out, leaving you with double the workload, now half burnt and smoking. Their duties weren’t finished, and yet there is nothing you can do to make them stay. Shaken by this loss, chaos descends upon the team. Most roll up their sleeves to work harder']. "And my friends said it isn't right to be scared, every day of a love affair" [There were several blind items talking abt how JA was hooking up w men in a very unsubtle way; this could be what the 'cheating husband' mentions in ttpd are abt]. “Two graves, one gun” [Makes me think of a smoking gun which could be what the 'smell of smoke' in the message was alluding to. Maybe JA threatened to reveal her secrets if she didn't let him go and he had the smoking gun evidence to do so which was the recipe card. 'This time is different. Because you know this person actually has the means to share the secret menu, and that they have enough proof to make the waiting guests believe them.' -> I mean if anyone could convince the general public it would be the man who was supposed to be her boyfriend for 6 yrs]. “And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down w it, my white knuckle dying grip” ['But you have never been one to lay your armor down. When you fail, you fail gloriously. When you go, you go kicking and screaming']. "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out" [She didn't want to be his beard just like he didn't want to be hers; and odd man out is a game that's played w 3 ppl where the odd man is the loser who's eliminated bc he didn't have a match]. "I founded the club she's heard great things about" [The Tortured Man Club -> The Tortured Poets Department that she's chairman of]

7th message: This message is all abt the domestic bliss she has away from the public eye. She has worked so hard to make sure her secrets are safe by building a tall impenetrable fence. However, she chooses to intentionally blow a dandelion full of secrets--perhaps ttpd is the dandelion w all the songs being the florets or secrets. There is one floret in particular that she’s worried abt—my guess is it’s Robin since it’s so damning if you know what to look for. Plus the song Robin parallels this message perfectly and evokes the same imagery. And to add even more credibility to this theory, the lyric vid for Robin has dandelion florets in the background. See these posts: (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x). "You are walking through your yard. It's one of your favorite places, all sprawling garden rows" -> Betty's garden; "your wife waters flowers," etc. "There are daisies - so many daisies - in every shade of your rainbow"--I don't think I even need to explain this. "Your lover and your fresh baked buns are safe. (The buns, of course, are in the oven turning golden as you speak. It's an old family recipe, jotted lovingly on a recipe card.)" -> The recipe card is perhaps a picture or some other sort of smoking gun evidence of Taylor's family and it connects the 5th and 7th messages together. And the meaning of "buns in the oven" is pretty obvious. "Golden" refers to Karlie.

Robin: "Higher and higher, wilder and lighter" [This may be a double entendre--not only is she encouraging this child to bounce higher on his trampoline or swing higher, she is also encouraging the dandelion floret (the song Robin) to fly higher and go out into the world after she blows on it]

The Albatross: "Wild winds are death to the candle...One bad seed kills the garden" [This may be connected to the dandelion metaphor and I believe there are many layers to these lyrics; wild winds can carry the dandelion seeds into other ppl's yards; if Taylor's secret gets out this can destroy the domestic bliss she has i.e. kill her metaphorical garden or candle; 'love's a fragile little flame it can burn out']

I Hate It Here: "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" [There is only one way to get into this garden since a tall impenetrable fence surrounds it; there are other layers in these lyrics as well like the escapism aspect of it]

But Daddy I Love Him: "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces" [Bc it's Karlie that had the babies]

8th message: This entire message parallels the Bolter. I believe this is abt Taylor finally choosing her lover over her reputation and choosing to intentionally destroy it in order to meet her lover down at the bottom like 🌋 anon mentioned. This may be the purpose of the whole Ratty debacle—to tarnish her image (by jumping into shark infested waters) so that when kaylor are together in public again her fans won’t be able to hate on KK w/out being hypocrites bc Taylor has already done all the things she knows they’ll accuse KK of, like being connected to someone who’s quite problematic. I believe this takes place from May 2023-now since this is when MH and her started “dating.” The use of all lowercase in the 🌋 messages may be a reference to the reputation album title to indicate that this is going to be a repeat of rep era but this time the damage to her rep will be intentional. I find it very interesting that the Feb 20th 🌋 message is the only one that has a word capitalized and the word that's capitalized is "Gold." This is in contrast to "fools gold" which is not capitalized or colored.

The self-loathing is palpable in Taylor's music (x) and it is displayed heavily in this message as well. I think it's possible the "enemy" is actually just Taylor herself or her public persona to be more exact. She is her own worst enemy; the Anti Hero mv illustrates this. She's the one that spreads the dandelions in message 7 which is what the enemy does in this message; she's the bear, and in the Bolter she (real Taylor) tames the bear (Taylor the brand). I believe TSMWEL could possibly be abt herself as well. I mean TSMWEL literally has "TS" in the track title. The clean version of the Bolter has the line "Then she'll call him a bore" which parallels TSMWEL, "You said normal girls were boring." It's as if real Taylor is doing an UNO reverse on Taylor the brand by treating her public persona the same way she treated real Taylor for years. This is very reminiscent of the Archer, "I've been the archer I've been the prey." I think TSMWEL, while it is abt herself, is simultaneously abt Scott B. And the reason for this relates back to what I said abt the 2nd and 3rd 🎃 messages--she blames both Scott AND herself for her failed coming out. The mastersheist threw her for a loop, yes, but she could've still come out anyway were it not for her indecisiveness. And I haven't have time to fully analyze MBOBHFT yet but I think it's similar where it can either be read from Karlie's perspective to Taylor after the 2019 failed coming out or from Taylor's perspective to Scott B/the industry.

The Bolter: "But as she was leaving, it felt like breathing, ['When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe'] All her fuckin' lives flashed before her eyes...He [the 'enemy'] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter and she liked the way it tastes taming a bear, making him care watching him jump then pulling him under" [This connects to the 10th message: 'You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters']

loml: "The coward claimed he was a lion" ['You’re a selfish asshole. So much of your fear is your own. You wince at your cowardice like it is a gaping wound. You so often find yourself unable to meet your own eyes. You scramble into shadows like a black cat. Scared, even, of being scared...You are a coward, but you are not a fool']

I Hate It Here: "I was a debutant in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside" [In another life she already came out but in this one she's too scared to even leave her house let alone come out]

The Tortured Poets Department (This is from Karlie's pov): "You're in self-sabotage mode throwing spikes down on the road"

9th message: This message is abt her finishing her 11th album, the last chapter of her 11 part story, and then sending it out into the world like a message in a bottle (the Manuscript). So I'm assuming this would take place on April 19, 2024, the release date of ttpd. "You are sitting on a beach, cold and windswept. The sea is dark and angry before you." -> This may be the same beach and sea from the folkmore era. "The sun sets in muted colors." -> Describing the sunset colors as muted is quite interesting since sunsets typically have very vivid colors; this makes me think it's related to the eras tour visuals during the transition from august to illicit affairs (which I explained the meaning of in this post), and the folkmore color palette was mainly muted colors. "You finish scrawling on the parchment. Your pen dries up as you reach the end of a story in 11 parts." // "Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen," "my veins of pitch black ink." She is sick of having to dilute her truth through metaphors and allegories which is why she is a tortured poet -> "Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die." Plus there's the "parchment" which she mentioned many times during her eras tour speeches which relates it to the folkmore era (x)(x)(x). "And now it is just a matter of time. The dripping of candle wax. The ticking of a clock." -> (x).

I recommend reading this post which explains how the Manuscript, ATW short film, message in a bottle, the story of us, and 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages are related. Many ppl pointed out that the Manuscript lyric vid looks like a movie script, and she's been referencing films and books a lot recently which makes me think there's a good chance she's going to release a film and book abt her coming out story. The 9th message and the lyrics in the Manuscript make it clear that Taylor's discography as a whole IS the manuscript i.e. it's the author's (Taylor's) draft of her story that is getting ready to be published. In academia, a manuscript is a draft of your research that you send in to be peer reviewed and if it's accepted it then becomes a published academic article.

The Manuscript: "And the years passed like scenes of a show, the professor said to write what you know, [She's equating her life to a story w the different eras being different scenes or chapters] The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores, [message in a bottle; 'It may wash up on a sunny beach in Florida, or a rocky shore in the northwest'] Now and then I reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore" ['Once you blow a dandelion, you never get it back. It isn’t yours anymore']

The Bolter: "But she's got the best stories"

10th message: This is a direct continuation of the 8th message and takes place right before she comes out of the closet (the wooden door in the woods). So this would take place after her rep has already been destroyed which I don’t think we’ve gotten to yet. My guess is that things will start ramping up in the next few months. She may start being papped w all her previous beards looking happy w them or sth similar which is all she’d need to do to show that the relationships were all fake and she’s been lying this whole time. This may be the “chaos” that 🫚 anon was referring to (see this post). This lines up with the blood moon glitch vinyl, representing chaos and disruption, being the 2nd quarter of the yr according to the midnights clock (4-6 or April-June, 2024). Plus many ppl think BDILH is abt MH--and Taylor meant for this to happen bc this album is full of red herrings--and in that song she says "He (MH) was chaos" so this might be a hint that the bearding shenanigans are gonna ramp up. Of course things are already plenty chaotic now w everyone thinking ttpd is abt 3 different men, one of which is pretty problematic, so perhaps this is all ginger was referring to. Taylor calling herself "the Bolter" has 2 meanings: 1) She is a coward who often runs away from danger 2) The 2nd more positive interpretation is that she knows "when it's time to go." I think it's very telling that ITTG is the last track on the deluxe edition of evermore and comes right after RWYLM, a song abt being stuck in the closet after the 2019 failed coming out. She's saying that she's not going to stay there forever(more).

The Bolter: "But none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting, ['The story of 2 princesses. No place for a prince'; the Cinderella metaphor (x)] Hearts are hers for the breaking, There's escape in escaping...Ended with the slam of a [closet] door but she's got the best stories, You can be sure that as she was leaving it felt like freedom" [The 6/21/2020 ♠️ riddle spells out 'They Are Free']

11th message: This message takes place after midnight at 3am on Nov 1 after she’s gone through the wooden door. In this post I explain how 3am connects to the witching hr or devil's hr. The fact that this takes place right after Halloween is quite significant since it is a day dedicated to remembering the dead, and death and ghosts are a big theme in ttpd. This symbolizes how after Taylor kills her old self (by dragging her into shark infested waters), she will resurrect as a new version of herself and leave the past behind her. And in doing these things, she will finally be able to go back to her figurative home, her cabin, that she was exiled from. -> "I think I've seen this film before so I'm leaving out the side door," "And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step...I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore." "The flame🕯️ finally🕯️flickers🌬️OUT" -> The match that started the "goddamn blaze in the dark" is no longer needed now that the lover house (her closet) has burned down, so the flame flickers out. This metaphor shows up in Peter as well, "But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light," where the light dying represents the woman losing hope that a coming out will happen. Notice in this message from present anon that "Goodbye" has a capital letter G which I believe links it to "Gold" in the volcano message that was mentioned earlier. This may indicate that Karlie is the woman/neighbor holding the light and waiting for Taylor's return home. The Dec 26th 🌋 message is likely from Karlie's pov in this case.

Fresh Out the Slammer: "Now pretty baby I'm runnin back home to you, Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to...But it's gonna be alright I did my time...Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge, [the burning of the lover house] As I said in my letters [the anon messages this corner of the internet has been receiving? Could also just represent her songs] now that I know better I will never lose my baby again...Swirled you into all of my poems ['My mind turns your life into folklore (literally and figuratively)']...To the house where you still wait up and that porch light [jack-o-lantern] gleams" [see this post abt the porch]

The Alchemy (This is from Karlie's pov): "What if I told you I'm back?...I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong, ['But I come back stronger than a 90's trend'] Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me"

imgonnagetyouback: "Push the reset button we're becoming something new...Even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you, Bygones will be bygone eras fading into gray, We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game...I'm gonna get you back"

#so i put this in a word doc and it's abt 10 pgs long and that's not including all the posts i linked #so thank you if you actually read this far!!#here's a cookie 🍪#this literally took me 5 days to type out #there's more stuff i could've included but this is already a very very long post so i might turn this into a series or sth and #break down each message and song in more detail #i left out the 4th 6th 12th and 13th messages since those were more like side notes but i plan to revisit those #also i would really appreciate it if non kaylors would stop calling us crazy and delusional bc...clearly we're not #there's a ridiculous amount of evidence that supports this theory (as this post proves) and it's also the only interpretation of her music #that actually makes the puzzle pieces fit PERFECTLY together and makes every single line of every song make sense #meet me at midnight #closeting #bearding #ttpd #pumpkin #summary #kaylor #gaylor #gaylor swift #volcano anon #ginger anon #the manuscript #the story of us #mastersheist #daylight #sunshine #endgame

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