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#vacation house! au
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Eyy it's the other VH! Designs! >:)
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(without rade, kling, and speech :,))
Codeswitch: Zooliwrites
Oscillate: me
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canisalbus · 4 months
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free'em...free my boy from religion trauma...I wanna see them both run away from everything to live in a small house in the woods or something god dammit
.
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hailkingphantom · 1 year
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Dp x dc
Green lantern finding Danny in a random planet and is like WTF, and danny just chilling super happy to discover he owns some planets as the ghost king
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qcoded · 7 months
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AU where Belos frees The Collector and they go to the human realm, but Belos realizes there's no fucking witch hunting shit going on so he's forced to like. get a job and a house. And The Collectors just a little fucked up child he now has to live with. [Drops mic]
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ice-mint · 1 year
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Prince Jacaerys and Court fool Aegon.
Idk why he is dressed like that either, but he is having the time of his life. Jace is deeply concerned (his jokes aren’t even that good)
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Raeda from the stream today! From another AU called the Witch Vacation AU~
Eda is a witch in disguise and Raine is the adorable human who’s caught her attention. Though, she also caught there’s so let’s call it even~
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doom-dreaming · 8 months
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Operation: CAKE BAKE
He's already reaching over to turn off the alarm when he hears the front door close downstairs. It would have gone off five minutes later, but it wasn't worth waking Cortana if he was already up. As quietly as possible, he slips out of bed. She'd wake up with the sunrise in plenty of time to join Linda on the front porch, he and Fred could start—
"...where're you goin...?"
He stops with his hand on the door. "It's Kelly's birthday."
"You say that like it's an explanation," she yawns, half-heartedly kicking the blanket off. "But if you've got something planned, I want in."
"Oh, you're part of it," he assures. "This mission is all hands on deck."
"Mission?" It only takes the few steps from the bed to the door for the sleepy haze in her eyes to be fully replaced by an expression he's much more familiar with. "This wouldn't have anything to do with yesterday's suspicious shopping trip, would it?"
"Maybe."
Fred and Linda are already in the kitchen when the two of them arrive a few seconds later. Bowls, spoons, spatulas, and various ingredients are arranged immaculately on every inch of available counter space. Linda nods a greeting.
"Okay." Fred begins, crossing his arms. "Kelly will be returning from her run in exactly two hours and...fifty-six minutes. We're splitting into teams. Team Bravo—," he motions to himself and John, "—is in charge of the cake. Team Delta—" he points at Linda and Cortana, "you two are the lookouts and the distraction, if needed. If we're not done by the time she gets back, you get her out of here by any means necessary."
Linda's eyebrows twitch higher. "Any means?"
"...within reason. Use your best judgment."
Cortana shrugs, immediately navigating around the baking paraphernalia for a coffee mug. "Easy enough. I'm fine letting you boys handle the hard part."
Fred and John share a look. "I'd rather be following step-by-step instructions than trying to wrangle Kelly away from anything."
"Assuming we'll even need to." Linda swings by the coffee table to grab a book on her way to the porch. Cortana follows with coffee several minutes later.
Fred cracks another egg. "We'll have this done before she's back, right?"
John shrugs, measuring out the sugar. He can't resist the joke. "Don't worry about it. It'll be cake."
**********
Cortana returns from the patio two hours and forty-nine minutes later with her empty mug. “Linda’s up on the roof. She says she spotted Kelly about five minutes out. Status report? Ooh, frosting.” She swipes her finger into the bowl.
John ‘tsks’ but doesn’t try to stop her.
“We’re close enough that we shouldn’t need any drastic diversions,” Fred answers, cracking open another box of candles. “Give us a little bit of a buffer when she gets here.”
“Yessir.” She steals another finger of frosting on her way back out.
After a couple minutes, John sighs and sets down the knife. “This is the hard part.”
“Looks good to me. Ready for candles?”
"Mm. Frosting’s thin on this side."
A swell of voices and footsteps from the patio sends them both into an instant frenzy.
"It doesn't have to be perfect, just put the candles in. That's an order."
"You're pulling rank now?"
"I told them to stall, not divert, remember? We have thirty seconds. If we're lucky."
"You know I am."
"Well I'm not, so it probably cancels out."
John places the final few candles and grabs for the lighter just as the voices on the porch reach the front door. Fred does his best to lean against the counter in a way that hides the cake. The door opens.
"Damn, it smells really good in here. Did you bake a cake or something?"
The click of the lighter breaks the silence of the beat that follows. Fred slides away from the counter. John motions to the cake, now visible. "Happy birthday."
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 9 months
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No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).
At the camp, he takes his job seriously. Very seriously. He doesn't act begrudging or like he's just doing anything by force. As the chapters go on he not only goes from relatively aloof to a full fledged commander (which is great development in that span of chapters btw considering how fast the story has to progress) and one who fights for Faerghus because he wants to (why would he reassure the player that he's going to, literally, hold down the fort? Why doesn't he flee when his life is in immediate danger despite that Dimtiri prefers his allies to flee and save their lives over sacrificing themselves? Why does he like helping citizens who had their lands destroyed by the war, despite being a bandit who used to plunge towns just like those?).
At any time when the Empire was attacking, he could've surrendered and even joined their side because of not liking Faerghus and its people... if he didn't like Faerghus and its people. Also, someone brought this up to me once that Miklan likely has family in the Empire still, because his mother was from the Empire. He had a perfectly good out that wouldn't even necessarily be considered treason to Faerghus, i.e. surrendering and going to the Empire to protect that side of his family.
He doesn't. He dies for Faerghus. It was both a matter of honor due to the fact that he was finally living the life he always should've been and wanted to be respected for that, and also his loyalty that followed in the past's wrongs being righted. No matter what you think of Miklan post disinheritance, he was the heir who was removed because he didn't have a Crest. All over just that, despite that Sylvain having a Crest never meant they didn't still have someone capable of fighting off Sreng invasions.
They had someone able to wield the Lance of Ruin, so why did it matter if he was officially the heir? Miklan felt like his life was stolen from him (and I'm not saying what he did to Sylvain was okay either). Dimitri gave him all of that back and he started to become loyal to Faerghus and its king because Dimitri was giving the chance even the man's own father never gave him from the moment Sylvain was determined to have a Crest.
What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which led to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).
Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.
Gwendal corrected himself when Miklan died, referring to him instead as Sir Miklan instead of the insults he was spewing during their fight which were very clearly pissing Miklan off; but Miklan kept fighting and defending the fort, not just because he wanted to prove Gwendal wrong but because he was here because he was pulled out of his life as a bandit. The people he was defending the fort for were the people who effectively gave him his life back.
Basically, he would've been there in that fort defending it anyway if he had lived the life he should have to begin with. If his value was acknowledged all along, he would've been defending the most important fort in Faerghus all along (if this exact scenario occurred and everything was the same except him being disowned in the first place). He would be there being the commander and fighter he was supposed to be.
Mind you, it was the king himself who gave him that chance, meaning the person who reigns over Faerghus and has the most power to change whatever the hell he wants - including how people with Crests and without are treated. Miklan was part of a fight to better their society and be part of the new generation taking over. Nobody could truly change things unless the king - the top power - had the thought to change them (not saying Lambert thought the political climate was good the way it was, but he clearly had other priorities and it didn't seem to be something weighing on his mind. He may not have even truly noticed the problems and power discrepancies because he was so focused on other things).
However, the moment the king thought to change all that old stuff, Miklan was one of the first people who came to mind, and one of the first people he took action regarding, to integrate into his new army (and he even mentioned completely rearranging his army and whatnot, and then we find out he had Miklan located basically right after becoming king. We had a two year timeskip and Miklan had been there for those two years because of how soon after Dimitri was crowned that he had decided to bring Miklan back and give him another chance).
If the king sought to change things and was taking active action to prove it, that was something Miklan could see and realize was actually going to happen. It wasn't a blind trust - he could see Dimitri was actually doing it. He had a reason to be able to trust him with this.
He was also able to trust the people who were watching over him, i.e. the people Dimitri had making sure he didn't revert back to any sort of banditry. Those people could have easily faked it, made up that he did something and that they had killed him on the spot. Dimitri trusted those people not to do that of course, but those people were not told to bring him to Dimitri if he did anything. They were told to apprehend him and kill him immediately (which is reasonable, given what he'd done in the past, and they wouldn't want to try to wait to get Dimitri over to wherever they were. If Miklan escaped in that time, they'd just have a big problem on their hands).
So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.
The same goes for Felix and everyone else who had qualms about him being allowed into their army. Dimitri explicitly stated if anyone had issues with his appointment as a commander to "by all means" kill him themselves. He literally made it an open option for his friends to just up and kill him if they truly couldn't forgive him (which at that point was more reasonable of a time because the war was still new and people didn't know if they could trust him with this specific appointment yet. By later in the story I don't think it would have been as reasonable for someone to try to kill him after he'd already been proving himself).
In other words, nobody did it. Everyone, literally everyone, backed off and respected Dimitri's decision (and technically Sylvain and Matthias' as well). None of those people, even when given open opportunity, turned a weapon on him. Not one. These people all gave him a chance. These are the same people he died fighting for, and for himself to be able to feel like he was fighting and dying for what he would have to begin with if he hadn't been disinherited - Faerghus and its people.
In the end Miklan was in both rank and heart a top ranking commander of Faerghus and he both appreciated it and knew he appreciated it. He was looking forward to the future Dimitri would bring, basically saying that he thinks Dimitri is a fool ("weak-willed") for it but that he now believes in it too. If anyone wants to try arguing those points, I have receipts as the young folk call them, fresh from Miklan himself about his feelings about it as spoken to Catherine and Shamir!
Miklan fought for the future he was hoping to see, and he died protecting that future. Again, not something he by any means whatsoever had to do. He was tasked with guarding the fortress, but was never told to lay down his life defending it. After years and years of being hateful and angry, he finally had some peace of mind and hope for what he could be. He was loyal to Dimitri in the end because Dimitri was loyal to him - that is, he kept his word and Miklan was able to thrive in Dimitri's society without being a bandit or having to worry about his future because of his status.
Like Dimitri said, the only thing holding him down by that point were his past mistakes. It was up to Miklan to do something about that for himself with the opportunity he was given to fix it. Dimitri said here, fix it, and Miklan said okay, and worked to fix it. For me the saddest part is that he didn't even get enough time to properly fix it and be able to be free of his past. He died for Faerghus though, with his dying words being that he was able to buy them time (to arrive and fight back against the attacking Empire). That's not something someone who holds a resentful grudge would say in their last moments. He was grateful he managed to buy the other fighters time, even though it cost him his life.
hopes was a dumpster fire a whole lot of times but its incorporation of miklan into the plot was not one of them. miklan fire emblem my love you will live on in my heart and in my fics. i am also deeply grateful to hopes for uh i guess hopes-canonizing (hopesonizing???) basically every one of my headcanons about him before the game came out.
#Miklan#Miklan Anschutz Gautier#remember the time i mentioned working on a fic and it was an au and like#i had planned to kill him and glenn off together for the plot? and how i scrapped it bc i got too attached to them?#and i couldn't go through with it when i thought abt sylvain and miklan's could be would be relationship?#that was me on the right track for the rest of my life. even back then i see i had a FEELING#i just KNEW something. funny enough in hopes miklan has a line that's like#pretty close to what i had him say in the fic... so uh my assertions and understandings of his character#were scarily accurate before we had anything but him as an enemy in houses to go by#and what dimitri talked abt post that chapter. uhhh maybe i am a miklan whisperer???#anyway miklan is easily by far the most underrated character in the entirety of hopes#and one of the most underrated characters overall#he has one of the most interesting stories from start to finish (esp in hopes)#how he was a noble family's heir to being disinherited to becoming an angry and hateful child#to growing up like that bc evidently nobody tried to steer him on the right path#to getting disowned only to be disowned for a lol measly for few months or so TOPS in hopes lmao#before being told to come back. in houses he was disowned presumably exactly as long but#dimitri wasn't the top power of faerghus. he couldn't have made the decision he got to make in hopes#so ofc the whole yeehaw lance of ruin thing happened. in hopes' case he was gone that long and just#took a vacation basically and came back and was basically told /B E H A V E/#except everyone was finally trying to steer him in the right direction even if it was SUUUPER fucking late#and he was grown up and set in his ways/behaviors/mannerisms that arose due to his childhood and onward#BUT from there and after being a very spiteful bandit he pulled himself together and was genuinely happier for it#enough to the point of considering himself ''weak willed'' to have started to believe in these visions dimitri has for the future#it makes me sad how he died in ag and like... even outside of ag there was never any hope of that family being whole#they weren't whole from the moment sylvain was determined to have a crest#and they couldn't be whole in houses bc dimitri never had the chance to change anything#then in hopes they could never be whole bc a different gautier dies in every hopes route#my poor fam never even had a chance to be whole again even though they genuinely tried so hard to be ;n; ;n; ;n;
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unfried-mouth-wheat · 11 months
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sorry I made him even more cunty. It will happen again.
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@missazura @wackulart
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bri-does-art · 4 months
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a little birdy told me you have some kind of an AU for the Funtime animatronics also?
... who is this.
There are, like, only 5 people who know about this. So which one of youse is it? >:'D (I am not mad. I am very glad to have the opportunity to tease it out. <3)
I am working on an AU featuring the Funtimes, little birdy is right! It's a very different flavour than Call of the Abyss, more of a fantastical drama than a science-fiction horror mystery. It is a tale of duty and responsibility, secrets and closets, choices and consequences, healing and growth, a farmer's child and a puzzling fae, and above all, it is a tale about two lonely souls whose fates are more closely intertwined than either realize.
It is also a tale full of fae shenanigans, fun and indulgence. It's not a serious epic like Call of the Abyss, and hopefully not as huge and ambitious either. 😂 So, dropping the serious act, it's a Fae AU in which some poor unsuspecting farmer gets caught up in the Funtimes' court's bullshit and learns to navigate a new social circle that seems hellbent on keeping their newest member close. I will make a new blog just for it, as there will be more, err, kid-unfriendly elements featuring in this one - I want to be able to properly curate my audience for this AU without alienating people who follow me here and like my non-explicit stories. So, until that's done, I'm leaving y'all with this little sneak peek. :)
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the temptation to write an Aemond x Lucerys pirate au is so strong
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Mmm Vacation House!-
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VH! {DS! Ver}: meee
Dreamswap: onebizarrekai
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A/N ~ This is sometime in the 2020s. Cars. Coffee makers. Temper-pedic beds. Etc. etc.. I'm still navigating my way through the world of writing and trying to branch out to present/modern day stuff. It's just kinda romantic not to have everything so easily at your disposal, like back in the day. That being said, I'd be a mess without my coffee and my coconut creamer. So, no. I'll stay here. Thanks.
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"Beach House Vacay"
CW ~ slight [auditory] voyeurism, implied cheating (but no one actually cheats), oral, p➡️v, general smart assery
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Briefly:
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It was time for the annual gtfo of town summer trip for the Demon Slayer Corp. For obvious reasons, they couldn't all go. Except, last year got kind of screwed up. Everyone but you, Sanemi, and a few others got to go. Even the baby slayers (Zenitzu, Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Inosuke) left. How it's supposed to work is that every other year, names are drawn. Whoever had to stay behind on the previous trip was automatically a shoo-in this summer. So on and so forth.
—–-—–-—–-—–‐—–-—–-—–-—–‐
This year, it was just you and Sanemi heading out. Oh, you almost forgot, and f/n, the woman he met in a nearby village a couple of months ago. She wasn't driving out with you because she had some things to take care of. But she'd ride out later with the others.
You had no reason to dislike the woman Sanemi was seeing. Everyone was so excited for him to finally be dating. But it pissed you off. Like, in a weird way. Sure, yeah. Whatever, ok. Sanemi is hot. His wild eyes and tousled hair and his ... hands ... his body when he trains. Rain or shine. But you didn't feel that way about him. You've been with the Corp for 2 years. It was your job. There was no time to develop a stupid crush on another slayer. Not that you'd paid him any serious attention.
***
"Y/N! Put your shit in the trunk, and let's go. If we hit traffic, I'm going to be pissed," Sanemi yelled from the garage. He was still bringing his bags out, too. You weren't sure why he was getting on your case. You dragged your suitcases out to the car. Using your hips and legs to maneuver the awkward boxes around, you hoist them into the trunk. "Ok. Let's hit the road!" You're excited about this, as in like feeling a resounding pit in your stomach excited. It was your first time going. It was your first time going, and it was with Sanemi. Maybe that was why?
You sat down in the driver's seat and made some minor adjustments. Sanemi slammed the trunk down and climbed into the back seat. "Ahhh. Ok, go." He looked on at you, deadass. "Dri-vuh!" You could handle this one of two ways: You could drive off and indulge him in the obvious fantasy of him wanting you to be his chauffeur. Or you could yell at him to get his ass in the front because you're no one's driver.
Wanting to set a good tone for the vacation, you decided to play along. "Ho-k, boss. Did you put the directions in the navigation?" He huffed, completely unamused at your stupid little joke in response to his stupid little joke. "You didn't do that shit already? God. Jus– just move. I'm driving." Sanemi muttered something under his breath as he tapped his foot in the gravel, waiting for you to get out.
"I heard you, y'know. I'm sorry I'm not all 'perfect Sanemi's girlfriend'. Has she seen you throw one of your hissy fits? Or do you just reserve those special for the people that have to constantly be around you?" He looked even less interested in what you had to say now than 15 seconds ago. "Whatever," you got into the passenger seat and buckled up. "I can't stand you most of the time anyway."
The music was on but not so loud you couldn't talk over it. Neither one of you had spoken a word since the exchange at the mansion, though. It was driving you crazy keeping so quiet. But it seemed like things were going as planned; light traffic, only 30 minutes until you got to the beach house. Only 32 minutes until you wouldn't be stuck in a small space with each other. You rolled your eyes to your reflection in the window. Yep. Right. On. Schedule.
***LATER***
"I don't care if I am the only one that's going to be in here. I want it. Besides, you and your girlfriend would have quicker access to the beach from the other room. You're welcome!" You slammed the door in his face and began muttering to yourself like a crazy person. "Oh, ohhh I'M SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA, and I can do whatever I want because I yell the loudest. Mehh mehhh mehhhh." Turning to put your stuff in the master bath, you stopped short of running right into the very man you had been mocking. "You didn't see this was an adjoining room. Did you, y/n?" Your face turned a deep shade of red that brought out every single freckle. "Well, I ... ffffucking see it now ... don't I? Could you please get out of my room? I'm going to change and then go down to the beach." Sanemi stepped back into his room, and you closed and locked the door after him.
You put your black swimsuit and cut-off shorts on, fill up your water bottle, and head down to the water. Opening the back door, you pushed through onto the wrap-around porch. "This house is incredible," you sigh heavily and step toes first into the soft, warm sand.
The sky was dark, and the air was heavy with humidity. No matter. You were on vacation, and nothing, not even your grumpy housemate, was going to take this from you. The water was 100' or so from the house, and you'd made it about halfway down. "Fffuck I love the be– was, was that lightning?" You took a tiny step backward.
Thunder
Lightning.
More thunder.
More lightning.
Laughter?
Laughter. "That bastard."
Sanemi sat on the porch swing, swaying casually. He raised his glass to you as the torrential rain started to come down. It was so noisy that you could barely hear him, "How's the weather," Sanemi yelled to you. Having a pretty good idea of what he said to you, you raised your arms and shook your head.
"I. Am. Here. For. My. Vacation. He. Will. Not. Ruin. This. For. Me." That would likely become your mantra for the foreseeable future. You took off your shorts, stuck your finger through the belt loop, flung them over your shoulder, and continued walking on the sand.
A few miles out, you decided to turn back. There was a slight drop in the temperature, and you just wanted to get inside. It wasn't cold, per se, but a hot bath sounded nice. You walked at a calm pace most of the way back. It was your time away from the routine of training and slaying. You wanted to sit on your ass for a few days. Life and work would be there when you got home.
The rain had stopped some time ago, and your shorts dried, but you still weren't wearing them. As you approached the house, you could see the huge kitchen window. There were people inside. Food spread out on the table; fruits, an assortment of sushi, and salads. Your stomach rumbled before you had a chance to register how hungry you'd gotten since leaving the mansion. Sanemi didn't stop to eat once on the drive out. Food is for "the weak."
You walked around to find the outdoor washing station, cleaning your hands and dusting your feet on the mat just before stepping into the back hall to the kitchen. The smell of the small banquet hit you like a ton of bricks. You reached for a plate, but a rough hand rested on yours, keeping you from serving the food onto your plate. You knew the hand before you saw the rest of the body it belonged to. "I know you weren't going to grab a plate and stick your nasty ass jellyfish poking, pebble picking up, sandcastle building fingers into all of this food before you washed, right?"
You couldn't help but giggle and tuck your chin down. "Sahh-nehh-mee," you whispered, overstating his name. Closing the space "If you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is ask me, big boy."
You understood why he should be blushing, and he was. But WHY was YOUR face so hot? He didn't shrink away from you like you thought he would. He did, however, press you for an answer. "Well? Did you wash your filthy dirty hands, y/n? I'm not here to become patient zero." Amusing, you thought. "I washed my hands at the sink next to the outdoor shower. Just off the side near the porch swing. Where you sat and made fun of me for getting stuck in the rain. Did you not look around after that? 'Scuse me."
You pushed past him and got a few things to eat, and headed to the master bedroom. "Filthy dirty hands. I'll fucking show you filthy dirty hands. You'll be begging for some antibacterial soap ... Oh ... oh, shit." You flinched as you remembered talking to yourself earlier and how he snuck up on you. Though you locked the door right after telling him to leave.
Just to be sure, you checked it again. It wasn't locked. It was probably someone looking around for an empty room. You told yourself it was that and not the remote possibility it was Sanemi. Because, well, why would he do that?
***
It was 1:34 am. when you looked over at the numbers dimly lit up on the nightstand clock. "I'm not even working and I can't sleep through the night." You had the bad luck of being a light sleeper. It wasn't always like this. Since joining the corp, you're lucky to get 4 or 5 hours on nights when youre home.
Tossing back the light blanket, you lowered your feet to the cool wood floor and followed the muffled noises. They led you to the door separating your room from Sanemi's. And the damn thing was cracked open. "Mm - a-ah, fuck, y/n, yes ... s'tight." Your hand flew up to lay over your mouth. Those noises were not unfamiliar to you. But hearing them fall so sinfully from Sanemi's lips was new to you. "Fff-ungh, oh – oh shi–" his voice became muffled for a moment. His movements were more erratic.
The longer you stood there eavesdropping on his pleasure, the more you were starting to doubt your resolve to hate this man. Surely, you were just feeling lonely and wanting to be touched as well. *Anyone* getting off in the next room, making these lewd noises would elicit these same feelings in you as well. Not necessarily just Sanemi. Right?
You sunk the length of the wall to the floor beside the door and listened to this brazen man sounding just a little vulnerable. "Hah - fuck, yeah ... hard ... ple - y/n, harder ... I ... m'gonna ... ugnnhh ... Oh, fuh— oh fffuck yes."
Your head shot up from his sexy lullaby. "Did ... me? He just said *my* name!" You wanted so badly to sneak over to his room. But the village slut he brought was probably there. "Why did he say my name if she was there, though," you whispered to yourself.
***
The sun woke you up after a few more hours of sleep. You got up and went to the bathroom to erase any sign of dishevelment from your body. A smile slowly crept across your lips as you recalled Sanemi saying your name. "Why not." Putting on some mascara, you skipped downstairs to see what there was for breakfast.
The spread was beautiful. It was a lot like dinner but with breakfast foods. You walked by Sanemi and gave his muscular arm a squeeze on your way to the sink. "I'm washing my hands. Especially for you." He let a small laugh fall from his mouth. "It's appreciated, y/n. No one likes filthy people handling the food."
"Yes, well anyway ... speaking of filthy people handling things, did you hear something around 1:30 this morning? Like, gosh, it sounded like someone was crying or something. Mmm, maybe not crying so much. Well, it sounded like they were jer-" Sanemi put his hands out in front of him to stop you from saying anything else. His face a brilliant red, again.
"NO! NOTHING LIKE THAT, HEH." He practically yelled that at you. If the rest of the people in the house weren't awake yet, they're sure to be now. Your eyes got large, and you leaned over the counter in as playful a way as you could fold yourself into. Your eyes narrowed as you bit your bottom lip. You plan to goad him on until he snaps and confesses his undying love for you – but why do you care? This is Sanemi.
***
There was a knock at the door, and Sanemi went to get it. A sexy and sweet voice purred out an excited greeting to Sanemi. "Hiii youuu. I have arrived." You rolled your eyes and mouthed the words back to no one. "Youuu, ha! You arrre here, all right. Look at that! Heyyyy ... y-you! I, I thought you weren't coming out until the end of the week?" That was the question of the hour. Sanemi looked back at you, and you could see he was feigning excitement. Why was he talking like that? Long drawn-out words were your thing.
"Hi, y/n. Enjoying your vacation so far?" F/n (village girl) asked you. Why did you disapprove of her so much? You smiled, looking at Sanemi and back to her, nodding a lazy yes. "It's beautiful here, I love the beach. Always have." You had to get out of there. You felt guilty that you were upset about her showing up 2 days too early. You felt like after hearing Sanemi say your name in such a way he did, you two were making progress.
"I'm gonna head to my room." A bath would make you feel better, you decided. You poured some salts into the bottom of the tub and ran the water a little hotter than you typically do. And then, you felt a gutsiness bubbling up from your gut. Like a fire that was on the verge of burning out of control.
You walked back to the kitchen where Sanemi and village girl sat, talking and feeding one another. Barf. "'San? I'm getting into the bath now." Village girl whipped her head around and looked at you as if you'd just materialized from a different plane of existence. Her eye twitched. Jesus, why we're you being like this?
Sanemi raised his eyebrows [shut up - he has eyebrows to me] and inhaled sharply, but quietly, so as not to alert his guest that he was sending up a million prayers for a huge gust of ocean air to come in and rip the pink towel away from you. Yes, he believed, they'll never know.
"Uh, heh, yeah. Ok, y/n. Thanks? ... thanks for telling me. We're um, gonna ... be ..." He was trying to form words, but it was an undertaking with you standing there wearing only a towel. Village girl was becoming exasperated, and Sanemi tried to figure out why you thought he needed to know you were taking a bath.
"O-ok, then. That's where I'll be. If, I mean, if you need me for anything. That's, that's where I'll be." You tilted your head to the right a little and smiled the sweetest smile at the both of them and swung around on your heels. Ew. Ok, who the fuck was THAT just now. And why, why, whyyy am I behaving like this? To Sanemi, of all people. I don't even like him. Reign it in, y/n, you thought to yourself as you headed to the hot bathtub. You're being icky. And over him. You let out a sigh of pleasure and slight pain as the hot water enveloped your body. You sat in there for an hour. Refilled the tub 3 times. But no one came knocking on your master bathroom door.
***
You awoke to the sound of laughter. "You, sir, are a fucking cheater!" Village girl accused Sanemi. "HOW! How could anyone cheat at this!?" He sounded like he was having fun. But for some reason, that just made you feel more isolated. If that miserable ass can have fun, why can't you?
You made your way down the dark staircase. Not acknowledging anyone, you went outside and sat down on the banister. It had started to rain again. The sun set not long ago. But any sign of light was strangled out by the heavy clouds.
You heard the door open, and you pinched your eyes closed, praying it was Sanemi coming out. "Hey hey, are you ok? Um, I have something kind of awkward I think I should say to you. I'm sorry, but ... uh, well, you–" You jumped down from the railing and got closer to her, trying to come off as chill as possible. Even though you're well known for not having any chill at all. "I'm jus' here for vacation. Nothin' else. I'm not a fan of drama or lovers' quarrels. I don't care what you and San–" You stopped yourself as you noticed a little bit of blood where you were sitting. "Awww, mother of shit." Village girl nodded and handed you a small plastic-wrapped square. "The last thing I wanted to do was make a scene in there. Or make you uncomfortable. Because we don't know each other very well. And," she looked around, trying to find something new to focus on. So you spoke for her instead. "Because it's generally just an awkward thing to say to a stranger. No, I get it. I appreciate you telling me. Thank you ... erm ..." God. You ran off upstairs and shouted Thank you over your shoulder.
You took your shorts and panties off and began to rinse them out in the tub. The stain wasn't nearly as bad as you thought it would be. "It had to be this pair. Goddamn it. Why does it always have to be the cute pair." You hung things up to dry and dressed again and went back down for dinner.
Village girl was the first to see you standing at the door, but you didn't notice her smiling at you. "What's on the menu," you asked Sanemi, mostly. He pointed and described the different dishes and handed you a plate only to pull it back just as fast. "Ah! Your hands clean?" Smirking, you flipped him off with both of them. "Clean enough for ya?"
You all ate dinner together and talked about missions you'd been on. Missions you wish you hadn't gone on. Who your favorite hashira were. There wasn't, however, talking about your least favorite. It just wasn't that kind of night. It was a night and a space full of warmth. Of happiness. And hell, even love. Any kind. It just resonated throughout the house.
"Help me with the dishes, shit hands." You continued to talk with one of the kakushi. Genuinely enjoying yourself for the first time in ages. "Hey! Shit hands." Turning your head to see who Sanemi was addressing as such. You felt bad for them being given one of his terrible nicknames. "Yeah you, y/n. Help me with clearing the table and doing the dishes." You glared and walked across the room to him. Jabbing two fingers into his ribs, you said, "You're going to have to do better than shit hands," You lowered your voice and narrowed your eyes until they were tiny slits on your face. "Big boy."
It took about 30 minutes to get everything straightened up, washed and dried, and put away. The two of you splashing at one another didn't do much to speed up the process because you had to mop up the floor. But you were happy with how nice the place looked again. You sat down at the kitchen island and began mindlessly playing with your hair and mindlessly rubbing the side of your neck.
"I'm so fucking bored!" Sanemi whined as he paced behind you. The manic energy radiating from his body was tangible. You'd give almost anything to be the one to entertain him. For him to touch your skin. You shook your head, not this again, you thought, trying to warn your future self out of the thoughts to come.
Yep, y/n, this again, you succumbed to the fantasy. Your eyes involuntarily rolled back some as you imagined him pressing his hard cock into your back, pressing his lips to the outer lining of your ear and telling you all of the disgusting shit he'd do to do you.
His lips are on your ear.
His hot breath is on your ear.
His words.
You couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd whisper to you. This was one hell of a little fantasy. You could almost feel him.
Sanemi's lips grazed the side of your ear. "Huh? Wh– shit! Sanemi! What are you doing?" You got up from the barstool you sat on and backed away like you were the guilty party. "I said, hello? Earth to y/n? You looked like you needed CPR. Your eyes rolled back for a second," he laughed. "Heh ... yeah. No! I mean no! CPR is not what I need right now. I was," You took an unusually large deep breath, "momentarily and ridiculously turned – N-nothing." You choke out. "Turned ... stupid. I just went dumb for a minute."
Sanemi didn't buy your lies for a second. The way your body reacted to him. To the most subtle touch of his lips to your warm skin. He had this leverage over people. He had leverage over you. "Oh, ok. Well, whatever. I'm turning – We're turning ... in. So, goodnight. Shit hands." He said to you, looking almost saddened by his departure. Even though it was just upstairs. He didn't look like he wanted to leave you behind.
You wanted to scream at him not to go to bed with her, to stay with you. Because how could she ever keep up with him? She didn't understand the life you two led. The sacrifices that you've all had to make.
But you didn't tell him these things. You couldn't. It was unfair to village girl. It was unfair to Sanemi, and it was baffling to you where this sudden rush of feelings came from. Somewhere between the car ride from the mansion and here, you had started falling for the jerk. Unless what if it was sooner and you just needed time away to confirm it? You knew you had to either start dismissing these feelings altogether or give in.
Neither was an appealing option to you. So you did all you knew to do that would keep things status quo. "Goodnight, big boy," You mouthed and smiled sweetly at Sanemi. Watching him be dragged up the stairs into the darkness by another woman.
***
"All I'm– all I'm saying is you two seem to have an ... unusual dynamic. That's all. I wasn't suggesting anything." Village girl was talking to Sanemi, and you could hear every stinking word of it. It made you wonder why he chose the room next to yours. You did force him out of the master bedroom. But there were 6 other rooms he could have just as easily taken. It didn't have to be *right* next to you.
On tiptoes, you made your way to the door, separating the rooms to make sure it was locked– again. The last thing you needed was village girl sneaking over and killing you in your sleep. You snorted out a laugh. "As if she could," you assured yourself. You attempted to talk yourself out of staying there at the door, hearing their intimate conversation. This was *none* of your business. But there was a gross part of you that needed to know what was being said. They were talking about you. If you were told about this later, it wouldnt be the same. Things get lost in translation.
Hearing it firsthand was the only way you could be satisfied. With that, you decided that was justification enough. "Just tell me what you're getting at here," Sanemi said rather loudly. He always either got too loud or very, very quiet when he was arguing. You learned from countless run-ins with him that when he got quiet is when it was time to reassess your reasons for arguing with him in the first place.
"You wanna know what I'm thinking? You really wanna know? Because what I'm thinking is going to change things between us, Sanemi." You heard footsteps, fabric rustling, and the bed creaking slightly under someone's weight. "What I think is ... well, I think that y/n ..." Village girl was losing her nerve. You knew that strained sound in her voice. It was hard to be the one to point out the obvious. Especially if that was going to drive the object of your affection into someone else's arms.
"Look, I'm tired. Can we go to sleep and talk about this tomorrow? After a good night's rest, hm?" Sanemi was asking in his nice voice. Village girl said something too faint for you to catch, and then there was silence.
You brushed your teeth, climbed into your large and empty but comfortable bed, and tossed and turned for the rest of the night.
***
Morning came without the filter you prayed for the night before. "Ugh. This fucking sun." You rolled out of bed and fumbled blindly down the stairs. Sanemi was sitting alone in the kitchen, staring at a kraft paper colored envelope in his hands at the breakfast bar. "Hey. Mornin'. Did you save me any coffee?" He only looked at you after you said something to him.
"Whoa, man. You look a little rough around the edges." He glanced up at you as you made your toward him. His white hair and scarred face look somehow softer to you in this morning's light. "Are you ok? Where's village gi-" You stopped yourself from finishing that question. He hated when you called her that and never understood why you were so uncompromising about your determination to not know her name. "Sorry. Where's f/n?"
He handed you the envelope. You opened it and pulled out the folded piece of paper. It was a handwritten letter. Addressed to him.
● "Sanemi, The short time we were together was some of the best times I have ever shared with another human being. Unfortunately, that's where you and I will always differ. I am a run-of-the-mill woman, and you are a well above-average man. DO NOT get me wrong, I'm not saying you're better than me. Not by a long shot, ha! You have such a gentle soul, and there will always be a space reserved for you in my heart. But I was kidding myself when I thought that's where YOUR heart wanted to be. I see how you look at y/n. You light up when her name is mentioned. You practically float when she is in the same room as you. I am not willing to sit by and listen to you two lovingly insult one another. Though I'd give up so much to have you call me something as affectionate as Shit Hands and mean it. I know deep down you two should explore this and see where it takes you both. At least *try*, Sanemi. Of all the people I've met in my life, I believe you are one of them who truly deserve happiness. You have some parts, as most of us do, that are irrevocably damaged. Maybe y/n can help heal where I wasn't even able to stop the bleeding.
Please, please take care of yourself.
F/N
A.K.A.★Village Girl★
P.S. I know that's what y/n calls me. It's ok.
"Oh shit, Sanemi ... I, I'm so sorry. Can, can I do anything—" He was walking towards you before you could even finish your pitiful and forced condolence rambles. You were sad for him. It's not like you were a completely heartless monster.
"What did you say to her the night you two were on the porch?" He was close to you. So close you wish you'd brushed your teeth or, at the very least, rinsed with mouthwash. He'd backed you against the fridge, his left hand pressed into the cool metal. "Tell me. What you. Said. Y/n."
Did you say anything to her? You couldn't remember anything when Sanemi was this close to you. If he hadn't just said your name a second ago, you'd probably forget that, too. "I, I don't think that I said anything out of the ordinary confines of casual conversation. No!" He glared at you. "I didn't. I didn't say anything that would be construed as impolite. Why are you trying to pin this on me!"
Sanemi slammed both of his hands on the fridge, making you flinch and causing it to rock back and hit the wall. "I'm NOT *trying* to pin anything on you. I just, how the fuck ... how the fuck did she know?" You opened your eyes and peeked at him, mindful not to stare for too long. Sometimes, he was like an animal you should avoid prolonged eye contact with. "How'd she know? How'd she know what?" You knew what he was talking about. But you needed too hear him acknowledge this elephant in the beach house.
Sanemi sighed and lowered his face to your shoulder, letting it rest there. His arms are still caging you in against the fridge. "Um, hey," you peeped, "Are you going to be ok?" He let out some sort of strained noise. Your body got so heavy and hot when you realized it was nearly identical to the noises you heard him making a few nights back.
Your chest rose and fell at unnatural intervals as your breath quickened. He was so close, but you still felt like there was infinite space between you. Lifting your hands slowly, so you didn't startle Sanemi out of whatever trance he was in, you put your palms flat against his chest.
You could feel his whole body beating. He began to nuzzle his face into your neck. Inhaling deeply, he dragged his bottom lip up to your earlobe. "Sanemi ..." You managed, a bit starved for oxygen from holding your breath if you're being honest. "Mmhmm?" He responded, leaning down more to kiss your reddened cheek.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you. You were still in the clothes you slept in; a camisole and some thin shorts. What there was to see and touch on your body was not much of a secret. Sanemi had planned to use your lack of coverage to his advantage.
He ran his hands up under your cami and dug his fingertips into the heated skin of your back. He wasn't leaving a spot of your neck untouched with his lips. He brought you up around his waist and headed for the stairs. Within seconds, the two of you were at the entrance to your room.
He got you to the cal king bed and set you down on top of the messy blankets. Resting on his knees, he took his shirt off, exposing his scarred and beautiful chest before pushing your tiny top up.
He fell onto your chest. Licking and biting at your still-sensitive nipples. Grabbing and kneading at the pliant skin of your tits. Your breathing was becoming uncontrolled. It feels good to let yourself fall to utter abandon. It feels good to have Sanemi on top of you. Touching you in the ways you most wanted to be touched.
You could feel every inch of his dick pressing against your hot cunt through the skimpy fabric. The outline of his tip brushing your entrance was driving you mad. You locked eyes as he rolled his hips into you, making space between your plush thighs like you were now a piece of property he owned.
"You wa-, you want me to fuck you, y/n?" Your back arched at his words. "Mmhmm, yes, yes! 'Ver since I heard you cum and say my name the other night."
He slowed for a moment, a sheepish look spread over his face. "Oh, huh. I got carried away that night. You were so difficult on the ride here I had to ..." His attention waned, and his eyes glossed over a little. "I did unspeakable things to you in my head." You raised your hips to angle him at you better.
"Oh? Like what?" You propped yourself up on your elbows. He smiled a rather sinister flash of his white teeth and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you down closer to him. Sanemi put most of his weight behind the kiss he just gave you. Pressing you into the bed.
Your pussy clenched at the wild feeling of his tongue darting in and out of your mouth. "God. I want you inside of me, Sanemi. Take your fucking pants off." You both moved at a frenzied pace. Unable to remove the clothing fast enough that kept your pleasure just out of reach.
Sanemi got his pants off and threw them aside. Then he was before you, his cock stood against his abdomen, the head already leaking precum. You fell at him with an open mouth. "Tchh-ahh. You wanna suck my cock like the little bitch I know you are." You moaned at his words and hollowed out your cheeks with just his tip in your mouth. His head rolled back, and he exhaled an animalistic growl and put his hands on the back of your head to set his pace.
"Hah – m'gonna, unghh ... ffff–" You licked Sanemi's length, swirling your tongue over his swollen tip once more before he laid you down on your back. You smiled at him. "You gonna teach me a lesson now, big boy?"
"You are really fucking asking for it, y/n. Sanemi plied apart your knees to lay them flat on the bed and buried his face in your pussy. Licking over your clit until you were about to cum but pulling his mouth off of you when you bucked up against his face too much. "Fuck, Sanemi." Your hands found their way to the back of his head and you tried shoving it back down. But he replaced his mouth with 2 rough fingers. Knowingly massaging your walls in every direction. "You're gettin' ahead of yourself, shit hands." You threw your head back laughing, "Don't call me that right now! Gross!"
You were so wet around his fingers. He stopped touching your pussy and wrapped his large hand around his cock, pumping himself furiously while he licked the inside of your thigh with the tip of his tongue. "Fuck me, Sanemi. Please, I want to feel you inside of me. I'm so close, please."
He spit on your soaked cunt and pressed the bulky head of his cock just inside of you. "Ah ... Oh Jesus, S'nemi. More... All of it. Go all the way in." Your head fell back and you started to rub and pinch at your nipples. "You're not going to cum until I fucking say you're gonna cum. Do you understand, y/n? You won't walk for a week if you cum before I say you can. Fuckin' got it, my pretty little slut?"
You looked at him with wide honey-brown eyes. Like a deer about to be hit by a train. "Y-yes. I won't cum until you say that I can."
Satisfied with your answer he rocked his hips into your burning center. You were on the edge of insanity trying to hold back the tsunami of pleasure that was threatening to fall over you. "Oh, oh fff-fuck, Sanemi! I, I'm ..." You were a gentle brush of your swollen clit away from cumming all over him. "S'nemi, fucking se–seriously. Oh god!"
He pulled out of you and began spreading you open, fingering your hole. You began to grind into his hand to keep riding out the high you were about to fall from. "Ahh ahh ahhh, sweetheart. You heard what I said. Not until I tell you."
You reached out to him and brought his face close to yours. He kissed you on your lips and then down your jawline to your neck. Grabbing your wrists, he held them down above your head and ran his tongue over your nipples. Biting and sucking on them until they were an even deeper shade of pink. Slightly bruising them to fuel his satisfaction and desire.
You scooted down farther so you could rub on his thigh. You'd been holding on to this for far too long. He pressed his leg into your wet warmth, making sure to miss the neediest spot on you. "You wanna cum sugar tits? I think ... that I ... might eat you out for a while. But don't cum ...."
"M-mm-hmm, oh, ok. Ok." Your brain was turning to mush. Sanemi trailed his tongue between your breasts and around your belly button down to your achingly empty pussy. "Sanemi, pl-please ..."
He stuck his fingers in your mouth, "Suck." You did as you were told, hoping to get into his good graces. Hoping he'd give you the go-ahead to release this fucking pent-up energy. Pulling his slobbered fingers from your mouth, he slipped them between your slick folds. With his tongue, he dragged fat lines up and down your lower belly.
"Do you, y/n, think I should be nice now and give you what you want? You have been fairly well-behaved today. You might have earned it."
Sanemi propped up all of the pillows on the bed and laid back on them. "C'mere." You crawled over to him and sat, straddling his upper leg. He reached out and started grazing your chest with his fingertips.
You started to rub your cunt greedily on his leg and played with his balls, letting your head lay back. Sanemi's hands wrapped around your waist and slid down to cup your ass. He pulled you over on top of him so you hovered just above his lap. "Sit on it. Slowly."
You lowered yourself down carefully, noticing the way he stretched you and filled you up. But you couldn't go slow for long. He'd teased you and fucked with you for so long that you just couldn't behave anymore.
"Y/n, fuck, my god, mmuhh ..." You bounced up and down on his hard cock, your clit rubbing at his public bone. Your body clenched around him and sucked him in in a way he thought he'd died and gone to the afterlife. He took your right tit in his left hand and rolled it around. His right hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you into him as you went up and down faster and faster.
The relief was so much closer than you anticipated. He felt so good sliding in and out of you. "Hoh- fuck, Sanemi, you're so big." You leaned forward and began kissing him while your cunt pulled him into you even more. Kissing him was taking this to a whole new level of arousal.
"O-ok, okokok. You can cum - you can cum now, y/n. Fuck- fucking I'm g'na, Hah...." His hips rose to meet with each drop of your body. He pulled you close, his hands on your ass. He wasn't guiding you but going along with you. Anticipating your movements.
He lay back onto the stacked pillows and you fell forward onto his chest. Grinding onto him faster and faster until your orgasm washes over you wave after wave after wave.
Sanemi flips you over so he's on top of you now. He pounds into you with an intensity you never imagined feasible. "That's right, sweetheart." He brings your knees up to your chest and prods into you. His balls slap into your ass, sending vibrations throughout your body and clapping noises into the room.
He watched closely where your bodies met and where he continually disappeared into you. The familiar white ring at the base of his cock from your cum mixture sends him over the edge. "Oh shh- shit y/n. Fucking shhitt. That's a good girl. Fuck. You're s'fuckin' tight and wet for me."
He collapsed a wet shaking heap on top of you. You could feel the last few jerks of his cock as he stopped cumming inside of you and he came back down. His full body weight on you.
He started snoring.
"Sane– Sanemi? Un-fucking-belie-" You couldn't believe that after that, he passed out on top of you! Laughing to yourself, you began to struggle under his relentless frame. Grunting and shoving, trying to get out of his trap.
He chuckled, "Do you really think I'd just drop out like that?" Rolling over to one side of the bed, he gave you leeway to get comfortable next to him. "These sheets ... should we wash them before we go home tomorrow?" You blushed. You, mostly, were the reason they'd become so soiled.
"They said to leave everything and they'd take care of it after we leave." You reached out and brushed away the hair stuck to his forehead and smiled at him. "So, uh, when do you want to leave?" You were sad the days had gone by so quickly. But still, really happy to be here.
Sanemi lay back on the messy pile of pillows and pulled you over to him. "What's the hurry, sweetheart? By my count, we don't have to be out of here until 12:01 am. tomorrow night. "I'm just getting started with you, and I'm nowhere near done.
He pulled you over atop his lap and kissed you softly. You let out the slightest little sound, goddamn it, if that sweet kiss didn't turn you on all over again. You wrapped your arms loosely over his shoulders and gave him a moment to figure out what you wanted.
Sanemi tucked his hands up under your legs and pulled you up higher on his chest, nibbling on the inside of your thighs. "Sit on my face and let me eat. Then I'll feed you, we'll shower, and eventually figure out how to explain this to everyone when we get home. Or, now hear me out, we could just send them a video."
You both laughed at how you thought each of them would react. And you made the video, anyway. But that was just for the two of you.
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sad--tree · 8 months
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keep saying i don't want 2 work another retail xmas but canNOT 4 the life of me make myself finish my goddamn fucking job applications !!!!!! death & dying & despair etc. etc.
#i dont dislike the application process for gc jobs on principle BUT#it does not mesh well w/ my difficulties re: starting & finishing tasks#but like i understand why u cant just send in a resume n hit done#NOT that there are many IT listings up atm...... and ill apply 4 clerical/admin stuff too#but an IT-1 STARTS a good $10k a year higher than a CR-5 soooooo :///#which is whatever its fine money isnt everything!! ill gladly make less if it means not hating my job!!!#but i also wanna. u know. LIVE. move out of my parents house. buy brand name snacks occasionally. maybe -gasp- go on a vacation#(not 2 say i dont make an attempt at travel now but thats with very finite savings that are def only going down not up)#also extremely frustrating 2 me the emphasis put on having a degree that completely locks me out of certain job categories#like. yes. there are for sure some where having the bg knowledge is important eg. an AU (auditor/accountant) or MA (methodologist)#and there are certain skills a degree (in theory) provides eg critical thinking research etc.#but not all of us have $40k+ to get tge fancy piece of paper saying we have those things. and u can have those skills w/o a degree#and smth like an EC which needs a degree in economics sociology or statistics is so arbitrary#and maybe not necessarily actually based in the majority of work done by the majority of positions in that category#ANYWAYS not me being bitter abt education standards YET AGAIN lol#idek if i could go to uni even if i could afford it. even tho i have 2 college diplomas id probably have 2 redo my grade 12 english 😶‍🌫️#also if money were no object id probably go for like. film studies or smth lol not sociology#tho. ngl. if i had the willpower and determination 4 smth so rigorous (i 100% dont) accounting does seem. interesting asdffhkkfdghh#ANYWAYS pt. 2 all this 2 say this is why i instead spent $10k+ on the only possible 2 yr diploma#that can still get u in2 the higher paying public service jobs. even tho ive discovered i Dont Particularly Care for programming. :(#thats an understatement actually i was actively in hell for like 80% of that program and the remaining 20% mostly wasnt coding
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rabbitcruiser · 1 year
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National Crouton Day 
These crunchy bread bites are the perfect addition to any salad or soup, adding texture and flavor — easy to make at home and can be seasoned to your liking!
That amazing crispy-crunchy goodness that comes from a crouton really just can’t be beat for a delicious salad topping. Though croutons are often unassuming and probably fairly happy to be a sidekick, it’s time to pay respect and let them be the star of the show, at least for this one special day.
And National Crouton Day is here to celebrate this little salad accessory that often gets overlooked but deserves a bit of attention!
History of National Crouton Day
Croutons have a history that can be traced back to the country of France. Well, at least the word “crouton” has its roots in the French language as it comes from the word croûte, which means “crust”. This is likely because the original croutons were made from the crusts of day-old bread that had gone a bit stale but could be cut into cubes and toasted with herbs and butter to keep from wasting food.
National Crouton Day began in 2015 when it was established by Rothbury Farms, a family owned business located in the United States. The idea for National Crouton Day was presented in February of that year and the first celebration took place on May 13, 2015.
As far as Rothbury Farms is concerned, the best croutons should be made starting with fresh bread that is carefully toasted and then seasoned with tasty spices, herbs and cheeses. The result is a super crunchy, amazingly flavorful bit of zest and interest that can be added to any salad or soup to make it much tastier.
How to Celebrate National Crouton Day
Whether throwing a whole party in honor of croutons or just sharing some with a friend, National Crouton Day comes with many options for observing the day. Or come up with a few of your own ideas or have fun with some of these:
Enjoy Eating Some Croutons
The most standard and expected way to pay respect to the crouton might be to simply eat a garden salad that is topped with croutons and a favorite salad dressing. Or choose to add them to a traditional Caesar salad. And those are certainly some viable options.
But some people might want to make things a bit more interesting on National Crouton Day by placing some croutons on top of a bowl of soup, using them as a garnish with chili, or even try putting them in scrambled eggs. Actually, croutons are so delicious that they can even just be eaten as a snack all by themselves!
Try Making Croutons at Home
When there’s a bit of stale bread left in the bread box, don’t just throw it away! Repurpose that day-old bread and make it into croutons. Start by cutting the bread into small squares and place them on a lined baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, and toss with spices. Bake until golden, turning once halfway through, about 15-20 minutes.
Enjoy a delicious batch of homemade croutons on various dishes at home, or share them with friends in honor and celebration of National Crouton Day!
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knightsofrayx · 1 year
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Sneak Peak: “I Survived: European Vacay 2013 (or in lilith’s case just visiting home)
“What can I get you all?” the bartender asks as they take their seats.
Lilith gingerly picks up a menu, wary about the tackiness clinging to the laminate, and is about to peruse the local options when Mary snatches it out from between her fingers and holds it away with one hand, whacking Shannon in the face along the way.
“Hey!”
“She’s not legal,” Mary says with a winning smile to the confused bartender.
“We’re not in the fucking colonies, Mary,” Lilith snaps back while lunging for the menu.
“Language!” comes Shannon’s automatic response, a hint of desperation crawling into her voice as she realizes exactly what she’s gotten herself into when she agreed to come on this trip.
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