#userworldproblems | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astercontrol · 2 months

Text

If KOSA passes

Or if any other form of censorship (there are many in the works!) ever succeeds at stepping in to impede our ability to communicate online:

We have to make plans.

Now, I dunno who'll even see this post. The few followers I have are TRON fans (who despite the fantasy we live in, tend to have realistically dismal views IRL about Disney and the various corporate uses of software).

And this fandom, on average, is pretty tech-savvy. It's where I've encountered the most people under 20 years old who actually know how to use a desktop or laptop computer.

So, if there's any hope for what I'm thinking about, this is prolly a good place to start with it.

(As with all my posts, I encourage reblogging and containment-breaching.)

(Gifs are clips from TRON 1982, mainly the "deleted love scene," from the DVD extras.)

Anyway.

Current society has moved online communication much too far onto major social media sites for my comfort. Whoever you communicate with over the internet, chances are you do it through a service owned by a big company: Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, Telegram, Facebook, whatever. Even TikTok (shudder).

These sites, despite their many flaws, can provide experiences that are valuable and hard to get otherwise. And once all your friends are on one site, you can't just leave and stay in touch with them all, not unless they all go the same place. It's easy to see why it's hard to abandon any social media platform.

But a backup plan is important. Because, as we've seen over and over, social media sites can't be relied on. They change their policies suddenly, without good reason-- and are inconsistent, even discriminatory, about enforcing those policies.

If they're funded by ads, the advertisers are their main customers, and your posts are the product. Their goal is that the posts most valuable to the advertisers get seen by people the advertisers consider desirable customers.

Helping you communicate-- making your posts get seen by the people you want to communicate with-- is optional to them.

Not to mention that the whole business model of an ad-funded website is generally unsustainable. Many of these sites are operating at a loss, relying on shareholders in a fragile bubble, doomed to fail soon just from lack of real profit.

And the more restrictions --like KOSA-- that the law puts on freedom of online speech, the likelier they are to go down or just become unusable. Every rule a site is required to follow is another strain on its resources, and most of them are already failing badly at even enforcing their own self-imposed rules.

If we want any control over our continued ability to stay in touch with our online friends-- we need to have a backup plan. Maybe it'll be simple at first, a bare-bones system we cobble together-- but it's gotta be something that will work. For a while at least.

There are lots of really good posts about ways to build your own website, using a service like Neocities. I VERY MUCH recommend learning this skill-- learning to make websites of the very simplest, most stable, glitch-resistant type, made of html pages-- which you can upload to a host while you store backups on your home computer. If you value the writing and art that you put online, this is probably the safest you can keep it.

But that's for making your own creative work public.

As for communicating with others-- for example, receiving and answering other people's comments on your work-- that gets more complex. I personally haven't found it worthwhile to troubleshoot the problems that come with having a system that allows visitors to comment publicly on my website.

But what we do still have-- and likely will for a long time-- is email.

Those of us who came of age before social media's current hold... well, we might take this for granted. Email was the first form of online contact we ever encountered… and thus it can seem to us like the most ordinary, the most boring.

But in the current world, it is a rare and precious thing to find a method of communicating that doesn't require everyone in the chat to be signed on with the same corporation.

Email is, as of now, still perfectly legal-- as much as social media companies have been trying to herd the populace away from it. I'm sure there are other ways to share thoughts online that are not bound by laws. But I am not going to go into that here.

Email service is provided by law-abiding companies, which will comply with subpoenas if law enforcement thinks you are emailing about doing illegal things. So, email is not a surefire way to be safe, if laws become dystopian enough to threaten your freedom to talk about your own life and identity.

But it's safer than posting on a public social media page.

For now.

Email is beautifully decentralized. You can get an email address many different ways-- some reliant on a company like Gmail, others hosted on your own domain. And different people, with all different types of email addresses, hosted in all different ways-- can all communicate together by the same method.

Of course any of these people, individually, can lose their email address for some reason or other, and have to get a new one. But as long as they still know the email addresses of their contacts, they can reconnect and recover from that loss. The structure of a group linked by email is reliant not on a single company-- but on the group itself, the friends you can actually count on.

This is why I am trying to promote the idea of forming email lists, as a backup plan to give people a way to stay in touch as mainstream social media sites prove to be unsustainable.

I'm envisioning a simple system of sending emails to several addresses at once, and making each reply visible to everyone in the chat by using "reply all" (or, if desired, editing the To field to reply to only some).

If enough people get used to using email in this way, it could fill most of the needs met by any other group chat or forum …without depending on a centralized social media company that's taking dystopian measures to try and make the business profitable.

So here are some thoughts about how I personally imagine it could work.

(Feel free to comment and bring up any thoughts I haven't addressed, or suggestions to customize how specific groups could set it up. This is meant as more of a starting point for brainstorming than a catch-all solution.)

As I see it, here are the basics of what you and your friends would each need to start out:

An email address. Any kind, hosted anywhere. You should use a dedicated email account just for this group, one that you do NOT use for other communication. Being in this group will result in things you don't want happening to your main email address-- like getting a TON of email, one for every post and reply. Or someone could get your email address that you really don't want any contact with. Use a burner email account (one that you can easily replace) and change it if needed.

The knowledge of how to "REPLY ALL" in your email. This will be necessary in order to add a comment that everyone in the group can see.

The knowledge of how to EDIT THE "TO" FIELD in your email, and remove addresses from the list of all recipients. This will be necessary if you want to CHANGE WHICH PEOPLE in the group can see your comment.

The knowledge of how to FILTER WORDS in your email. This will be necessary if a topic comes up that you don't want to see any mentions of.

The knowledge of how to BLOCK PEOPLE in your email. This will be very important. If someone joins this email group who you do not want to interact with, it will be up to you to BLOCK them so that you do NOT see their messages. (If they are bad enough to evade the block with multiple burner accounts, that's what you have a burner account for. Change it, and share the new one only with those you trust not to give it to them.)

Every person in the group will be effectively a "moderator" of the group, able to remove people from it by cutting their email addresses out of the "To" field. Members will all have equal "moderator" privileges, each able to tailor the group to their own needs.

This means the group may naturally split, over time, into other groups, each one removing some people and adding others. Some will overlap, some won't. This is good! This is, in my opinion, what online interaction SHOULD be like! There should be MANY groups like this!

In this way, we can keep online discussion alive, no matter WHAT happens to any of the social media websites.

If the dystopia got bad enough to shut down email, we could even continue with postal mail and photocopies, like they did in the days of print-zine fanfiction.

If it looks like the dystopia is gonna come for postal mail too, we'll use the connection we have to preserve whatever contacts we can with people who live near us.

Not saying it's GONNA get that bad. But these steps of preparation are good no matter exactly what kind of bad stuff happens.

As long as some organized form of communication still exists, we'll have a place where it's at least a little safer to be your true self…

to plan events and meetups…

and maybe even activities a little too risque to make the final cut of a 1982 Disney movie.

They're trying to censor us. We want a Free System. So we're gonna fight back.

For the Users. Not the corporations.

Peace out, programs. <3

#tron #tronblr #tron 1982 #userworldproblems #diy punk #censorship #kosa #internet literacy #email #solutions

385 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Note

I legitimately wonder who the target audience for TR3N is even supposed to be. It's clear the Tron franchise doesn't have much in the way of mainstream appeal. And none of the actors or narrative elements of the previous films are going to be featured. So, why is Disney bankrolling this thing? Did they just get sick of Leto pestering them and finally agreed to green light the film just to shut him up?

Yeah all of this. I honestly don't know.

I have long ago given up on trying to understand the choices of any large system of human actions (corporation, government, religion, political party, but ESPECIALLY corporation) as if it were a rational entity making choices like a person.

many batshit conspiracy theories stem from sheer desperation to understand just WHY these conglomerate entities choose to do things that, as far as we can see... benefit almost nobody... and don't even benefit the group as a whole, in the long term

but I think their choices are better understood as chaotic clusters of individual choices within them.

a scattered handful of individuals, in a few scattered, momentary, significant positions of power to make choices, each individually make the choice that benefits... them, personally.

their choices add up to... the Entity, as a whole, taking a direction that looks like... utter nonsense, from every perspective imaginable.

It's as if each cell in your body suddenly shifted to the course of action that... could lead to the longest lifespan for it, as an individual cell

many cells would outlive their individual life expectancy, by days or hours or minutes.

But the body as a whole, and every cell in it eventually, would die far too soon

and no one would ask why the body chose to do this. Because, clearly, it had no choice.

...that was much more serious analysis than you probably wanted. But it is 3 am and I have been in solitary covid confinement for a week and my filters for what I will post online are thinning dangerously, like a veil between this and some even more horrible world

tl;dr the actions of large groups of humans are chaos. but especially those who make up something like fucking Disney

#tron #tronblr #UserWorldProblems #asks

24 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Text

It's been most of a year since I began my journey into TRON fandom.

In many ways it's been wonderful.

But one thing that's jarring, and painful, is how many of the people who were active at the beginning are now… gone. Either mostly or completely.

It's happened in various ways. Some have just gone quiet, or mostly quiet, on every forum where I saw them. Others have actively removed their online presence, either by deleting social media, or by blocking and unfollowing down to a smaller number of people they now interact with.

Some have made it clear why. Some have just ghosted, without explanation.

But from the variety of circumstances where I've seen it happen… it seems like there really isn't one single cause.

Many different, unrelated ones have come up, with different individuals who have vanished. IRL problems, busy jobs, mental health issues, shifts in personal interests, fandom conflict, social overwhelm, a desire to separate themselves from places and people whom they associate with experiences they no longer want any reminders of.

But regardless of causes, it's a loss that's felt very sharply in such a small fandom, especially for someone like me whose interest focuses on a particularly small part of the fandom.

And since this is the first time in many, many years that I've been active in the social part of any fandom… I really have no reference point for how normal it is.

It feels very unlike my long-ago experience with Star Trek fans… but is that difference because TRON is a smaller fandom than Trek, or because of some difference in fandom culture, or because the whole world has changed in the long gap in time between my experience with the two?

It's a very lonely feeling, in any case.

I miss lots of the fans I started this experience with. I accept their individual circumstances, even when I don't totally understand.

But I also really, really appreciate all of you who are still around. And I am so very happy whenever I've made contact with someone new.

You all matter.

#tron #tronblr #tron 1982 #fandom #UserWorldProblems #emotional stuff #social stuff

16 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 2 months

Text

I'm gonna try to be off of Tumblr for a while-- possibly a month or more, and after that, we'll see.

This is related to my recent post about alternatives to the dystopian way that social media sites are going. Which, to be clear, is NOT a problem we only need to face "if KOSA passes," but is a systemic issue that's been going on a long time already.

(Case in point: the egregious transphobia that is Tumblr's current topic of the day. When communication is dependent on a corporation, and CEOs of corporations behave... the way they do... we need other options).

I VERY much appreciate that people are sharing that post and adding their own ideas and resources. Please keep doing that.

I'm just stepping out for a while because my part in that endeavor is gonna require some focus.

My goal is that, during this time, whatever time I would have spent posting and reading and checking my notifications on Tumblr... I will instead spend working on the website I'm making on Neocities.

It's a huge endeavor, because I am trying to combine a lot of different topics and projects in my weird complex life.

The url will be astercontrol.com. When it is ready to be publicly viewed, I'll change that placeholder page to the actual entry page of the site.

When that happens, you'll be able to see pages about my writing, my art, many different things I've worked on and thought about... and of course, as many resources as I can gather to help others with that same struggle of getting free from corporate-controlled communication.

Because people being able to share their thoughts openly might be the one thing that makes the biggest difference to... ALL the other problems in the world.

Without the level of free dialogue I've seen about Palestine, police brutality, trans rights, COVID, climate change, anything... I'd know only what mainstream publications felt like telling me. I'd be in no position to even realize what help was needed, let alone give the donations and signal boosts I've been giving. And that's where more and more people will be, the more our social media gets crushed under increasing corporate control.

My site will probably not be complete when you first see it. There will be lots of sections that still don't have any content yet. The whole project would just take far too long, and I want to open the site soon. The way social media is going, "finding alternatives" just jumped to the front of my priorities.

#notron anyvirus #userworldproblems #personal #diy punk #neocities #alternatives to social media

7 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 2 months

Text

welcome to the saw trap.

you are actually free to leave. go live your life, do whatever you want.

except you have to take this gun with a bullet in 1 random chamber, and play russian roulette with it, once every day.

each time it goes off, it transforms into a gun with one less chamber, still 1 bullet, therefore higher odds.

the bullets are usually nonlethal. Usually.

they hurt a lot tho

and they CAN permanently injure you. you just can never be sure how badly, until it happens. And over time those injuries add up, believe me

if you choose not to play, you can just stay in here. forever.

you're not restrained. you get internet access. And you get to order delivery. Food, and whatever else you need

until whatever money you have in your account runs out.

then obviously you can't order delivery anymore.

so you die.

no, you don't get to earn more money. you are stuck in here, remember? good luck finding a job that lets you work remotely.

also i am not actually jigsaw and this isnt a saw trap, it's covid. it is literally just covid.

have fun

#notron anyvirus #userworldproblems #depressing #saw trap #sure you can wear a flimsy little bulletproof vest. it doesn't work all that great but it kinda helps.#the more other people are shooting at you the less it works. oh did i mention everyone else gets a gun too. lol

5 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Text

Defunctland ruined my marriage because there was this episode about a park where one of the attractions was sorta bumper cars with military tanks and someone would be setting tennis balls on fire and literally shooting them at the tanks somehow and I said that can't be true because if it was possible to shoot a flaming tennis ball then it would also be possible to shoot a flaming arrow and we just had this 3 hour argument a week ago about how according to you the whole idea of flaming arrows was 100% proven impossible by Mythbusters and then my partner was like no obviously the tennis balls are different, they got fired a lot slower than arrows and the problem with arrows was the speed would put the fire out like blowing a candle. and then i was like well then flaming arrows are totally possible you would just have to make a bow that shoots them slower, and my partner said wouldn't work you couldn't do that, and I said literally every child in the 1980s independently invented the bow and arrow with a stick and rubber band and our very first-try prototype wouldve shot an arrow slower than those damn tennis balls, and my partner was like but then it wouldn't go far enough, and I said oh i am so glad you have a comprehensive chart of every archery attack throughout the entire middle ages and exactly how far away they were trying to shoot from, i bet a thousand years from now you are gonna be reincarnated as the archaeologist who says AK47 rounds were a myth because the only gun we have found preserved was a long distance sniper rifle and clearly AK47 rounds could neither fit in that rifle nor be shot as far as that rifle did, and actually nevermind I think actually we ruined our own marriage

#approximately half joking #lotsa reasons that relationship didnt last #we both needed to figure so much out about ourselves lol #NoTron AnyVirus #UserWorldProblems #defunctland #weird memories #archery

5 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 2 months

Text

what i hate most about the whole greedflation thing is... I have been thinking for years that nearly everything we buy SHOULD cost more, because that is what would happen if every person involved in making it was actually paid a fair wage. But when we see the prices go up now, it is so transparently obvious that that is not where the money is going

there's a complex discussion to be had on the question "is it actually mathematically possible to have an economy where all life's necessities are affordable to everyone, including all the people involved in making them?"

but this conversation isn't being had, and that's because absolutely no one in power even cares about getting even one tiny step closer to that

#notron anyvirus #userworldproblems #angry #politics #economy #greedflation #money #frustration

5 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Text

why you have seen nothing from me about this year's public domain release

#NoTron AnyVirus #UserWorldProblems #copyright #public domain

4 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Text

not to be the Tone Police, but if you are trying to say

"your oppressed life and mine are much more similar to each other than either of us will ever be to our oppressors. They want us to fight each other. We need to be allies instead, because otherwise they will succeed in getting us to destroy each other, to destroy the solidarity which may be the only chance we have left to even survive"

and you phrase it as

"oh that's disgusting, look at that bigoted asshole, acting like the dystopia isn't screwing him over too, just as much as the rest of us they've convinced him to hate! ...what an evil, brainwashed suckup!"

...you may be succumbing to the effect yourself

#NoTron AnyVirus #UserWorldProblems #i am so tired #yeah I know many of them can never be convinced to work together #and I do not know a solution for this.#but saying “you want to FIGHT instead of be friends? you are evil and should be killed” does not feel like a solution

4 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 3 months

Note

But TRON 2.0 is still cool right?

Heck yeah, from what I've seen so far it's got a lot of what I liked about 82 (haven't seen everything about it yet, there is a LOT of playthrough video to watch, but it feels like very much my kinda thing <3 )

(And I'm not gonna shame or judge anyone for liking any of the other canon either, hey there's things I find cool about all of it! I just hope there aren't gonna be too many fans throwing away everything they like about the fandom because of something new they don't like.)

#tron #tronblr #tron 1982 #tr3n #tron 3 electric buggery #UserWorldProblems

4 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 2 months

Text

Minor annoyance of the day:

I started eating a chocolate chip cookie this morning. I no longer have this cookie, but I still have a strong feeling that I didn't eat the whole cookie yet.

Usually, this means I set the partially-eaten cookie down somewhere, and just need to find it.

However, I'm having uncommon difficulty finding it this time around.

This means that either

I actually ate the entire cookie, and for some reason my usually-reliable mental inventory decided to continue listing the wholly-eaten cookie as half-eaten...

Or, I set down a half-eaten cookie, and my usually-reliable skill at locating cookies I set down is failing to find it.

Either one is both 1. annoying and 2. less-than-reassuring in regard to the health of my short-term memory.

I know there are worse things in the world, but sometimes I have to take a moment for the little things as well.

Damn cookie.

#notron anyvirus #userworldproblems #cookies #personal rant

3 notes · View notes

astercontrol · 7 days

Text

Callout post for myself

I'm writing this to clear the air about some things. Feel free to ignore if random vague fandom drama is not your thing.

At this moment, I'm not even sure if, or how much, anyone else is even thinking about these issues.

I do not know if, or how much, I may have inadvertently hurt others with the way I was doing things...

Basically...

I'm in a situation where I feel there' s been a conflict with some people. But none of the usual ways of trying to open communication with them feel… right, to me. It would be either DMing without consent, or addressing a post to them in public, and at the moment I don't feel they would be comfortable with either.

(This vagueposting approach is also… not good.)

(But it feels like the least bad option at this point. It won't force anyone to read these thoughts who's already decided they don't want contact with me. But I'll feel a bit more peace of mind knowing these thoughts are, sort of, in the open.)

Anyway.

...Until recently, this is what I had in the "About Me" post on my Tumblr blog:

DNI if: you don't wanna interact. (if I got any problem with the interaction I'll handle it, I'm a mature program with a block button)

I will block you:

… if your views are clearly so incompatible with mine that I don't feel we could ever have any positive interaction

…if we have already had interactions that I, for any reason, found too uncomfortable to handle

…if I see your posts on my dash a lot, but I notice that your blog says "NSFW blogs Do Not Interact" (or any DNI applying to me). I will do this because you don't want interaction from me, and I want to be sure I respect your boundaries and don't slip up and interact.

…(If you have already been choosing to interact with my posts, despite having me on your DNI list… then there's the additional problem that at this point I have NO IDEA how your boundaries work or what's the best way for me to respect them. So, again, I'll block.)

I've taken those words down and am considering something new to replace them. Because… I am trying to make some changes in how I handle these things.

I have enacted this "block people whose boundaries I don't understand" protocol. A couple of times, I think. Once that I remember clearly. Very early in my time on this tumblr account. It was somebody who had liked and reblogged several of my posts, and when I went to their blog, I saw "NSFW blogs DNI" prominently displayed.

This, of course, confused me. I freely admit to being a NSFW blog-- or at least, that I post pretty often about sexual attraction and sexual acts. If this person wanted to interact with me, why did they have a prominent post saying they didn't want interaction with blogs like mine? (And if they just hadn't seen the "NSFW" on my own blog before interacting, why would they expect others to check and see the "NSFW DNI" their blog before interacting with them?)

For the time being, I just... chose not to follow them, and not to go out of my way to interact. It was all I could think of to do.

But the status quo went on for a while: continuing to receive occasional likes and RBs from this stranger, and feeling increasingly uncomfortable about it… anxious that I might accidentally overstep a boundary.

Because… what even were this person's boundaries? How did they define NSFW, and in what circumstances did it actually bother them?

They had no problem sharing my tamer posts, so clearly their taboo didn't include "non-sexual interaction with a blog that sometimes posts about sexual topics." I felt pretty sure they'd be uncomfortable if I tagged them in any of those sexual posts or sent them a sex-related ask, which of course I had no plans to do... But their boundary must be somewhere in between, and it bothered me not to know where.

Eventually, I found it. A mutual of mine (someone else whose blog also openly admits to posting on NSFW topics) had reblogged a post from them.

It was a fandom post, an observation about a fictional character. My mutual had added commentary, but nothing sexually suggestive. I reblogged… and I made the mistake of putting something suggestive in my own additions.

The original poster-- in a move that somehow managed to take me by surprise-- reblogged it back from me, commenting something to the effect of "Don't add horny things to my posts."

And then I …well, I essentially panicked. And made the further mistake (at least, I now feel it was a mistake) of letting my panic response express itself with the block button.

At the time this made sense to me, for the reasons described in the About Me post that I quoted above. I had always agreed with those posts that sometimes go around, saying that it's perfectly valid to block others for your own mental health; that your online experience is there to be pleasant and relaxing, and there's no guilt in cutting off people who don't contribute to those feelings for you.

But later on (as things do sometimes go, over the course of gaining online social experience) I had an occasion to experience this from the other side. And it changed my feelings somewhat.

It wasn't an exact mirroring from the other side of what I'd done. The situation was different in a few big ways. But it did involve a person who blocked me without explanation.

Not a stranger or recent acquaintance. Someone who, up to that moment, had been treating me like one of their best friends-- including me in their private Discord server, replying to nearly everything I said, showing constant enthusiasm for every fan project I was working on. So, the sudden loss of contact felt to me like a totally unexpected double blow. Losing a close friend, and at the same time being implicitly accused of something, with no hint as to what.

What had I done? How had I hurt this person, badly enough to go overnight from friendship to complete non-interaction? What had I done that was so terrible that I was blocked from every avenue of even being able to reach out and ask this person what I'd done?

Since then, through conversations with others, I've been able to glean a general idea that this friend was experiencing a sort of crisis in their attempts to maintain an online social life that was beyond what they could deal with. It seemed they'd cut contact with a number of people, just for being part of certain social circles they no longer had the capacity to handle.

The patterns to which people they'd blocked were a bit confusing to me, but I imagine that my own… sometimes-overly-overt sexuality… might have contributed to why I was among them.

Unlike the stranger I'd blocked before, this person didn't have "NSFW DNI" on their blog; they were okay with talking about sexual topics in some circumstances. But not in all circumstances. And that boundary was never quite clear, to me or to several others who'd been in Discord servers and chats with them.

It's entirely possible that my own discussions of NSFW topics had overstepped the boundary and made this person uncomfortable, and that had been part of the reason for the block. It could also have been some other aspect of how I post (I do post about a pretty vast range of things, from silly and smutty to dark and depressing). Understandable, I guess, that anyone with certain mental health needs would need distance from that.

So... even though this all hurt a whole lot, I have been trying to understand or at least accept these other perspectives. I've been giving a lot more thought to how different people can have different ideas of what's a reasonable boundary to set.

And while there are some practical constraints on what one can realistically expect strangers on a huge online platform to adhere to... that doesn't change how individual people personally feel about their own boundaries, or whether I personally can feel some sympathy and some willingness to try and meet them where they are.

I've also been thinking about some things (which I discussed in the March followup to my February KOSA post) …some thoughts about communities that are built for mutual support in survival situations, and how their standards will differ when it comes to what's a dealbreaker for friendship. And how much effort people will put into trying to resolve conflicts when a group is smaller, less replaceable, and more necessary to one's life.

I mean, I'm not actually in that type of survival situation at the moment. But I'm becoming increasingly aware of how important communities are. And the community I've joined most recently through shared fandom interest is… a small, cult-classic sort of fandom, so the rareness and preciousness of good friends is kind of being hammered home to me at the moment.

And I have become more motivated to make some effort to heal what is broken, whenever I can.

I've never been good with conflict. Often my reflexive reaction to it is to isolate myself, to cut off interaction so I don't have to face what may have been wrong with it.

But I am trying to fight that response, because it's not healthy.

I've unblocked some people I blocked during those early conflict-phobic moments of panic. But of course I don't expect or feel entitled to be unblocked by anyone who has blocked me. As I've tried to express here, their reasons are their own... and while I may try my best to understand them, I acknowledge that I can't fully, and only the people who made the choices truly can. So I won't judge or expect anything in particular; only try to be open to whatever happens.

And I'm writing this post… not to try and argue against anyone, or convince anyone to do anything, but just to try and make clear what has happened from my end, and how I feel about it.

Like I said before, I don't know if others are even thinking or talking about any of this.

But my anxieties sometimes fear that they are, and that there may be people out there forming opinions about me, entirely from the other viewpoint in these conflicts.

And the only thing that eases that anxiety a little is… for me to communicate what I can, so that my viewpoint on what happened is at least out there.

Again, I know this was all vague... but, well, it's more info than was out there before, and I feel it would be wrong to go into much more detail. So, do with this information what you will. It's just me trying to make things a little less vague than real life seems to have made them.

#notron anyvirus #userworldproblems #drama #fandom #personal

3 notes · View notes