#us annoying bitches always win somehow!!!
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sorry | yoo jimin
synopsis : her hands were always warm.
pairing : childhoodbff!karina x fem!reader
genre : all of us are dead au, angst (i’m sorry), childhood friends to lovers (?), high school au?
tags : zombie apocalypse, spoilers to the show?? it’s better if you watched it, so you get the refs ykyk, flashbacks, the entirety of aespa are in this, only karina is relevant tho
warnings : blood is mentioned, injuries are mentioned, implied dissociating i think, gross zombies, eating humans and stuff, you get it
word count : 2.4k
a/n : this was so self indulgent LOOK I FINISHED THE SHOW TODAY AND I SOBBED I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER💔💔also not proofread uhm looks around if you see any mistakes no you don’t! :]
“y/n, barricade the door.”
you stared at aeri as she yelled from across the classroom, fighting off another braindead zombie, barely winning and almost getting bitten. as a result, ning groaned, gathered up her courage and threw a chair at the walking dead that lunged at her friend. then, she stabbed the being’s neck before it got the chance to get up.
eventually, once she was spared a few moments to inhale and exhale, the japanese girl’s gaze met yours, eyebrows immediately furrowing afterwards.
“what are you staring at— barricade the fucking door, you dumbass?” she yelled, somehow louder this time, before having to stab another zombie in the neck with her pocket knife.
as if snapping out of a trance, you mentally slapped yourself, quickly looked around and rushed to grab the nearest desk, despite struggling to pick it up. then, you pushed it towards the sliding doors of the classroom afterwards. minjeong, the incredibly athletic girl she is, while also having heard the dozens of zombies running towards your location, quickly slid the other door shut and stacked another desk on top of the one you put.
you both reluctantly backed away, glancing at each other as if to seek reassurance from the other’s stare. you both listened closely for the sound of the impact from the zombies hitting the door, then unconsciously sighed from relief when you did hear it.
“thanks, sports girl.” you teased the short girl, snickering when she hit your shoulder playfully (which kinda hurt considering the strength she had, despite being seemingly petite.)
you felt the tension in your body fade away with each breath that was taken, you crumbled to the ground and allowed your body to get rest.
“also,” minjeong turns to look at aeri before addressing her, “you didn’t tell me you knew how to fight, who taught you?”
the girl in question runs her fingers through her hair as she groans, seemingly annoyed by the stupid question, before cheekily smiling, “i guess when you have to fight bitches every once in a while, you end up learning a few things.”
you all laughed, glad to be finally able to breathe and take a break from the constant amount of attacks you’ve endured up until this point.
“wait—“ placed ning before any of you said anything, readjusting her glasses nervously as she stumbled on her words,
“where’s jimin?”
-
“fuck fuck fuck fuck—“ she mumbled to herself in panic as she ran at full speed through the different hallways of the school, carrying the hard metal rod she found on the ground as a weapon whilst also escaping the army of things chasing after her, occasionally hitting unexpected obstacles left and right as hard as she could.
she felt her legs slightly giving out on her as she sprinted, the numerous injuries on her body bringing her a clear and not at all appreciated disadvantage. in a normal situation? she’d probably be limping and be annoying about it, asking her friends to carry her to class and whatnot,
however, this was a life or death situation, about 15 different zombies were behind her trying to devour her and half of her friends were probably a part of that same pile,
limping and being annoying to her friends wasn’t really an option right now.
-
“what do you mean she’s still out there???” you shot up, your blood running cold upon hearing that your best friend might’ve ended up being a 5 star course meal for the zombies, “you couldn’t have made sure she was with us before closing the door??”
“i couldn’t have done anything, genius, calling out to her while she’s trying to draw the attention of those fuckers from the other side of the school would just defeat the whole purpose.” sternly said the japanese girl, giving you back the same energy, also panicking for jimin in the process.
you walked back and forth in the room, pacing and trying to figure out where she possibly could have went, eventually groaning and stopping in front of the mean girl again, grabbing her shoulders, “so what?? she’s just dead now?”
“look, y/n, she’s probably just hiding in some classroom safe and sou—“
“i’m going after her. i’ll bring her back, you guys stay here.” you declared, immediately rushing to the backdoor.
“no, y-y/n—“ is what ning said, stuttering, before you bolted out of the classroom at full speed.
“okay well.. she’s definitely dying.” concluded minjeong before getting hit by a worried ning. “don’t say that—“ responded the latter.
-
“die you stupid fucking bitch diediediedie—“ exclaimed jimin, hitting the zombie that was clinging onto her foot and hissing at her with the same metal rod that she was carrying for what felt like several hours, grunting desperately with each hit, using every fibre of her body to kill it, until all of its blood splattered onto her.
after a while of it being unresponsive, she shakes its hand off of her shoe and watches its lifeless hand hit the ground. then gripping onto her femur injury trying to stop it from abundantly bleeding, shutting her eyes closed in hopes of making it somehow less painful. somebody on the level below her was screaming for their life, so all those braindead whores were away for a while. she was contemplating on how to run if they ever came back faster than expected, now that her brain has actually acknowledged the pain in her limbs, it was gonna be harder.
during that time, jimin couldn’t help but think about you, wondering if she was gonna be able to see you again, wondering if you were even alive. wondering if—
“jimin?”
that was your voice.
she recognized it better than her own.
“y/n.”
she immediately turned her head to look at the source of the noise, not being able to keep her flinch contained upon hearing it. then, upon realizing that you seemed fine, she couldn’t help sighing from relief.
but then she noticed that you were crying.
and you noticed that she was hurt.
rushing towards her, you quickly put your arm under hers for support and help her walk to near safety before the undead figured out you were here. you could think about the rest later, all that mattered was that she was okay.
walking into a seemingly empty classroom, you waited until something potentially jumped at you. after watching out for a couple of seconds, you set jimin down onto the ground carefully as you closed the door behind you. before you could even turn around, the older girl spoke,
“how did you even know where i was?” she asked, still huffing from the sprinting she’s been doing while trying to survive.
“your shoes are covered in blood, footsteps are not hard to follo—“
her nose.
blood.. was dripping from it.
it was bleeding.
her nose was bleeding.
she curiously raised her eyebrow at your sudden change in expression, “what happened? did a zombie scare you or something? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” she giggled.
“j-jimin?”
“what? seriously y/n, you’re scaring me. what is it?” she continued giggling only nervously, this time, in hopes of making you feel better, whatever it was that suddenly got you like this.
“y-your.. your n-nose..” you said, your voice barely above a whisper,
“it’s.. bleeding.”
-
“oh come on.. tell mee. your secrets are safe with me, i promiseee—” she pleaded with you, making a joking hand rubbing motion as you subtly laughed at her unfunny attempts to try and win you over. you could never let her know that she was funny; her ego would be too flattered.
“we’re in the middle of some sort of a zombie apocalypse and you’re still somehow managing to be annoying.” you joked with her, to which she pouted in response.
“ugh you’re no fun..“
“sorry that i’m trying to survive, jimin??” you said back using a sarcastic tone. she groaned and rolled her eyes before speaking again,
“look y/n, we’re probably gonna die anyway, okay? might as well die knowing everything about the other, don’t you think?” she tried reasoning with you, and yeah, while it did make a little bit of sense why she’d think that way, just in case you did survive, you had a dignity to keep.
you couldn’t just tell her that you’ve had a crush on her ever since you were kids.
-
“…what?” she said, her voice suddenly matching the volume of yours. blinking at you as her smile drops, distraught from the piece of information you just gave her, you can see a small nervous smile forming again as she approached her hand to her nose. “come on, you can’t make jokes like that they’re not funny at all man—“
red.
was that blood?
no, no, it couldn’t be. of course it wasn’t.
right?
right?
when she looked back up at you, she noticed that you slightly backed away from her, still staring at her with nothing but pure fear in your eyes.
you weren’t scared of her, were you?
why would you be?
-
“man that doesn’t even taste that bad.” you affirmed, still not done chewing the fresh bibimbap, the taste of the absurd amount of wasabi you put on it not having fully hit you yet. she simply looked at you with hooded eyes, nodding at your claims like they completely made sense. she was patiently waiting for it, she was waiting for you to jolt at the actual taste.
and god was it funny when you did.
“f-fuck?? jimin oh mai fuck— jimin wawer— path me the wawer oh my—“
the sound of her own laughter resonating in the food court, everybody was staring at you two like you were crazy, and it was fortunate you physically weren’t able to laugh.
cause your two laughs mixed together sounded like one incredibly loud laugh, people knew you for it.
“next time, maybe don’t claim to tolerate something spicy when you’ve never even tasted it, got it?” she advised you, digging her hand into her bag as she looked for her water bottle, watching you eagerly nod. at that point? you needed to consume something that wasn’t wasabi.
-
“y/n i swear i didn’t get bitten i promise you it’s— it’s probably my blood pressure. yeah! m-maybe it’s too high or something i’m— i’m sure running was the c-cause.“
you quickly grabbed her hand as she was still sitting down.
cold.
it was cold.
-
“why are your hands always so fucking warm all the time? like— it could be -10 degrees celsius outside and your hands would still be warm.. i just don’t get it.” you questioned, holding onto her hand and observing it like it was some sort of rare object that needed to be analyzed.
your hands were always cold, it was no fair.
“maybe it’s just cause i have a really warm heart.” she said in a dramatic manner, naturally making you roll your eyes at her. then, when your eyes went back on her, you noticed something.
“hey jimin?” she hums in response, indicating you to continue, “where’d your name tag go?”
she chuckles, “oh, i was supposed to give it to someone, but then i ended up just losing it somewhere.”
you giggled as a reply, “fucking idiot.”
-
you choked back tears as she tried justifying herself, backing away further as she eventually got up from her seat on the ground. you heard the bones in her limbs slightly crack in the process, and you know she heard it too,
she just wanted to pretend like she didn’t.
tears rolled down her face as she stumbled on her words and her steps, the struggle to get air in her lungs growing bigger by the second, “y/n i swear— please listen to me i— i’m fine i-i just—”
how did she get infected? she didn’t even get bit.
“i-it’s impossible.” she thought aloud, “i didn’t—“
then she remembered,
the blood that splattered.
the injury on her leg.
fuck.
“jimin.” you whispered, the tears that you were holding back finally dripping down your face as you saw her. her veins slowly popping out as blood came out of her mouth, slightly drooping.
you saw her turn right in front of your eyes, and there was nothing you could do.
you just had to leave her there.
her eyes were bloodshot by this point, and she was fighting back only god knows what to not let her neck crack in front of you. she couldn’t see anything anymore, the only thing she thought to do at that moment, before anything was too late, was to reach into her skirt pocket, grabbing something small, you couldn’t tell what it was. you didn’t know what it was,
until she deployed it onto your palms.
-
“oh stop it.. not my fault nametags are so small, it’s a pain in the ass trying to find something so tiny, so i kinda just stopped looking for it.” she tried justifying, but you just kept laughing at her.
“who were you even planning to give it to, anyway?” you added, trying not to seem too hurt about her having a crush. you had to be supportive, because jimin wasn’t just the person you loved,
she was also your best friend.
“now you’re doing a little too much.. i’m so obviously not telling you that.”
-
“w-what are you..?”
yoo jimin.
“m-my nametag. it’s yours n-now.” she said, eyes twitching from the pain she felt, her bones cracking with each movement she made.
what?
her nametag?
what?
“i’m s-sorry i couldn’t— t-tell you sooner.” she stuttered, clutching onto her bloodied up shirt like it was gonna help her feel better. “i p-pussied out.” she giggled, still sobbing.
“sorry.” was the last word she could muster up.
you stared at her.
and she stared at you back, smiling before leaving the room and sliding the door shut behind her.
it all went by so quick.
you didn’t even get to say goodbye.
wasn’t this all just a bad dream?
you were gonna wake up right?
the zombies running, they weren’t running.
the screams in the hallways, they weren’t hers.
they weren’t even real to begin with, right?
the zombies weren’t eating her.
you stared at her bloody nametag, tears falling down onto it.
yoo jimin.
yoo jimin.
the zombies don’t even exist either, do they?
you made all of it up, right?
right?
-
“ugh lame.. i’m your best friend, you should be telling me.. booo tomato tomato..”
she laughed, hitting your shoulder playfully before laying her eyes on you, smiling tenderly as she watched you pout.
“sorry.”
#kpop gg#female reader#aespa#aespa karina#karina aespa#aespa angst#all of us are dead#all of us are dead au#karina x female reader#karina aespa x female reader#yoo jimin#yoo jimin aespa#yoo jimin x female reader#i’m gonna cry#i felt so fidksodkkwdk#writing this
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final lap
reader x dom!sunwoo
smut | nsfw | mdni
racer!sunwoo is kinda mean and big, thigh riding, dry humping, sir kink, orgasm control, orgasm denial, hair pulling, begging, edging, praising, impact play, humiliation, degradation (slut, whore, bitch in heat), a tad of self degradation, multiple orgasm, creampie, cum play,
requested | part of my 2023 prompts event [closed]
after a race there's only one thing that can ease sunwoo's nerves...
[❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜ + ❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜]
TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤
a/n: this is inspired by this ✨glorious post✨ sunwoo graced us with. when i saw it knew i had to write racer!sunwoo. look at those thighs!! tell me im not the only one losing it for the thighs and veiny forearms!!
There was something about the speed that put Sunwoo in a sort of trance. Ever since he was a boy he aspired to be a racer. It was his calling.
And tonight after winning the race of a lifetime is not different.
Even now sitting in the changing rooms, after the press conference, after being handed out the platinum cup he was still feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He still felt the strain that was put on his body with every abrupt acceleration. He still felt his body shifting through every single dangerous turn. It was like he was still on the track, swallowing laps after laps, until the last one.
This was Sunwoo’s experience after every race. And after every race he found that one thing was bringing him back down, pulling his mind out of the haze.
A quick jerk off.
You knew that. You knew that he liked to catch a few minutes of peace after a race to blow off some steam. But now that you’ve been dating for a few months you figured that maybe you could help him out this time.
When you knock on the door while your heart is hammering against your ribs. You don’t want to come across as annoying but maybe he really does enjoy doing it himself.
“Come in” you hear the voice of your boyfriend from the other side, annoyance tinting his voice.
“Ah it’s you” he says, surprised features relaxing slightly upon seeing you.
You sigh in relief when he seems to not be bothered by your visit. You lightly strut over to where he is sitting, your skirt lightly flowing around you. Somehow he seems embarrassed.
“Hmm…y/n” he starts off hesitantly. “I’m not… done… here” he says carefully.
Instantly your eyes shift down to his crotch. You try your best not to look too avidly at the veiny forearms resting so close to his bulge and failing miserably as your tongue swipes over your lower lip.
“Yes about that…I came to offer my help” you announce wearing a bright smile.
“That’s cute, baby but no, it’s ok you know I…”
You knew Sunwoo was going to need a little convincing so you thought of a plan. Your hands swiftly went under your skirt and without an ounce of hesitation you slid your baby blue panties down your legs, letting them pool at your ankles.
Sunwoo cut himself off as he watched the blue article of clothing fall to the ground and how your skirt scooted up your waist as you lifted your legs to step out of it. You were never this bold with him and he felt himself twitch at the thought of knowing that the only thing that was guarding your precious center from his eager eyes was this skimpy little skirt.
“Please Sunwoo” you pouted as you walked up to him. “Let me help you” you whined as you straddled one of his thighs repressing a moan when you felt the thick leather of his racing gear press against your unclothed folds.
Sunwoo watched you in awe, completely silenced by this brand new side of you he had never known.
You started to rock your hips on his thigh, hissing at the pleasurable friction. While Sunwoo let his hand slip on your thigh, fingers firmly wrapped around it.
You were not suspecting that if you still had a secret for Sunwoo it was the same for him. The reason why he always isolated himself after a race was because he didn’t have it in him to be the tender and affectionate lover he normally was. The adrenaline changed his brain chemistry and turned him into something a lot more primal. Something you might be scared of.
And right now you were making it very difficult for him to hold it off.
“Fuckkkk” he cursed under his breath when he saw the glistening mess you were making on his leg. And you felt his muscles tighten underneath you, making you whimper.
Sunwoo sunk his nails in your fleshy thighs as he heard you, only being able to guess how swollen and pretty your pussy was, the skirt still hiding you from him. But somehow that made him even more riled up. He wanted to rip it off you right now.
“Sunwoo, please” you asked one more time, your hands landing on his bulge, palming it lightly but before you could unzip his pants he catched your wrist in his hand. His grip was strong, a lot stronger than usual. When you raised your eyes to look at him, his chest was rising and falling rapidly and his gaze was dark, raw lust pooling in his orbs, the burning desire contorting his face in an almost painful expression.
“Y/n don’t make this hard for me” he breathed out, deep voice shaking slightly. Trying his best to keep the monster at bay.
“It’s okay” you start, smiling back at him. “You can be rough, I can take it” you assure. Sunwoo’s eyes go round in surprise. Did you pick up on why he was acting the way he was? Did you pick up on the side of himself he was so badly trying to hide from you?
“Y/n… I-” his grip grew even tighter around your wrist.
“Please. Sunwoo. I can handle it”
This is the last straw for the racer. He won one battle today. Maybe he can give this one to you.
As soon as he gives up the atmosphere around him changes, the tension goes up a notch.
Sunwoo let go of your wrist to grab a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it making your head fall back.
“Can you really handle me?” He hissed through gritted teeth while you felt his member twitch under your fingertips. Your breath is short, a hot wave of arousal rushing to your groin as you felt the delectable sting on your scalp.
“Yes sir” you reply in a mere whisper, your hips working themselves back on his thigh. Instinctively yearning for friction as your lust for him grew again.
Sunwoo smirked at the title. It was the first time you called him like that and he could see himself getting used to it very fast.
As you noticed Sunwoo’s change of attitude you started to rock yourself harder on his thighs. Making an even wetter mess.
“Good little whore” Sunwoo praised while his free hand went down to palm over his restricted bulge. Instantly your eyes snapped back down to avidly look at your boyfriend’s busy hand. But he tightens his grip around your hair, yanking it harshly to catch your attention.
“No.” he clicked his tongue. “Look at me. Look me in the eyes” he commanded and you obliged. “Show me how your slutty little cunt pulse on my thigh” he propped his chin to your skirt still resting over you, shielding you from his brown orbs.
Hesitantly you reached for the hem of your skirt and you slowly lift the thin fabric. Sunwoo’s smirk grows wider while his eyes take a darker tone, an evil glint lighting his gaze.
“What a good little slut” he praised in a low rumble, pressing harder on his cock, growling when he felt himself leaking precum for you.
“Come on harder” he ordered as he tensed his thigh again, hand leaving your hair to push on your hips, strong grip conducting each of your movements until your mind was only a hazy mess, mindlessly wrecking yourself on your boyfriend’s thigh.
“You gonna cum?”
“Yesss” you sing in bliss, feeling your lower stomach becoming tighter and tighter with the familiar build up. Sunwoo pressed harder on your hips while you moaned without restrain completely forgetting about the thin walls of the changing room.
“You gonna be a good girl?” he asked again, hands going softer on your side.
“Yessssss” you hissed, your release being within reach, your mind barely able to form the simple word.
“Then you’re not gonna cum” Sunwoo suddenly says and your half lidded eyes snap back to him. Your eyebrows meet on your forehead in need when you notice him being dead serious. “Only whores cum humping their boyfriend’s leg like a bitch in heat” his voice is cold, cutting, ruthless.
“Sunw- Sir… please” you whine, unable to stop the intoxicating back and forth.
“I said” he wraps both his hands around your narrow neck. “No” he firmly states. His hands barely press on your throat but the glacial eyes and the commanding tone is enough to bend your mind. You whine in defeat as your hips slowly come to a stop. Red, swollen and aching cunt visibly pulsating on the leather.
Before you can even mourn the loss of your climax Sunwoo is back pulling at your hair.
“Up” he says, guiding you by the hair then pulling you down until you are on all fours. “Clean your mess” he shoves your face on the slimy puddle you left behind. You stick your tongue, gliding it over the smooth leather, ready to do anything for him. Completely fucked out your mind, you don’t think anymore only your body reacts.
In a matter of seconds you manage to completely erase any trace of the sinful thing you were doing moments ago, the taste of your own arousal making your head spin and your heart pound.
“That’s my good girl” Sunwoo praised, drawing soothing circles on your heated cheeks. “Good girls get rewarded” he whispered as his gentle hand guided your face to his groin. You whimpered as you pressed your cheek to the concealed object of your desire. Your arousal dripping down your thighs.
“‘s that what you want baby”? his honey voice made your center quiver.
“Yess” you purred in bliss feeling the heat of his cock through the thick leather.
You heard him chuckle as his hand unzipped the racing pants. He shimmied them on his thigh and you saw the glorious print of his shaft under his gray briefs. You swallowed thickly, eager to finally lay eyes on him. He also pulled his underwear down revealing the thick member clapping against his stomach you lightly gasp in awe.
He lazily strokes it a couple times in his veiny fist while you watch in a trance.
Then he gets up and guides you to bend over the chair, both your knees on the cushion and your elbows resting to the back of it. With a flick of the wrist he flipped your skirt up your back to uncover your ass. He smacked his lips in anticipation while he guided his tip on your drenched folds. The hot tip glided smoothly over your already over sensitive clit. You held your breath while he teased you. Biting your lip to keep yourself from begging.
“Such patience” he praised before you felt his large palm slap your ass cheek, the unexpected pain pulling a moan from your lips.
“Want this cock baby?” he asked as he started to push himself in.
“Yes please Sir” you politely ask, doing your best not to wiggle your hips to get him to fill you up faster.
“Good girl” he moaned as he bottomed out. His tip perfectly pressing on your sweet spot with this angle. You hissed, your fingers curling around the back chair. “I’m going to fuck your brains out” he growled. And the promise made your stomach knot.
He didn’t waste time to keep his word. He started to plow into you, pulling all the way out just to smash himself back in.
You started to squeal in pleasure as your cunt desperately held on to Sunwoo’s length rearranging your guts with every thrust.
“Good girl. That's it. Squeal for me” he grunted, strong grip bruising your hips. “No ones here. we can be as loud as we want.”
But everytime you grew closer to your release, every time he heard you go high pitched, every time he felt you pulse around him he would slow down, going down to a painfully slow rhythm. Thrusts merely teasing your eager walls as they pulsed and demanded more.
It made his cock twitch inside you when he heard your desperate whimpers and your disappointed sighs. He loved to torture you. And he intended to toy with you just like this until you couldn’t take it anymore. Until you broke.
After what felt like hours you finally voiced out your frustration.
“Sir please” you started timidly.
“What baby?” he asked, his honeyed tone letting your ear the smirk that was spreading on his lips from behind you. “What’s wrong?” he fainted worry.
“Please…” you were out of breath, exhausted. “I want to cum” you sighed.
“Awww. Want? what an ugly word” he said as he completely stopped. Dick deep into you but completely still. Somehow this was even worse. You started to whine and wiggle your hips yearning for any kind of friction again, even the slow pace. You needed something, anything.
“Please let me cum Sir” you pleaded, your voice trembling in need. When Sunwoo started to move slowly again a strangled moan escaped you.
“But baby only whores beg to cum like that” he says rubbing soothing circles over your ass as he picks up the pace ever so slightly, making your center quiver. “is that what you are?”
You stayed silent, teeth sinking into your bottom lip while you tried to regain a semblance of sanity. But Sunwoo gave you one single violent thrust to keep you in your trance, earning a high pitched moan.
“Are you a whore baby?” he repeated being as taunting as ever.
And you just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Yess” you shouted in defeat. “I’m a whore Sir. I’m your little dirty whore” you started to push your ass back and forth on his cock, Sunwoo didn’t stop you he enjoyed seeing you break. “Now please fuck me like the fucking slut I am.” you sobbed, completely giving in.
Without another word he went back to the brutal and exhilarating pace. You completely lost it, abandoning your body and mind to his cock. You moaned and screamed without restrain.
“Cum. Now, slut” he ordered as he landed a couple more spanks on your red ass.
And the pain rocketed you over the edge. Diving head first in the blissful abyss. Walls quivering on Sunwoo’s thick dick. Climaxing so deliciously as he came inside you, delivering thick ropes of white thick cum inside your needy little hole that was milking him to the last drop.
As soon as he pulled out your legs gave out and you collapsed on the chair, gooey cum lazily dripping out your worn out and shapeless cunt.
Sunwoo stroked your hair affectionately.
“You were right baby” he pressed a kiss on your hairline “you handled me perfectly”.
a/n: thank you for reading guys. feedback is soooo greatly appreciated if you enjoyed drop a comment or an ask. i wuv u <3
#sunwoo smut#tbz smut#the boyz smut#sunwoo#the boyz sunwoo#tbz sunwoo#kim sunwoo#sunwoo the boyz#sunwoo fic#sunwoo imagines#sunwoo x reader#the boyz fic#the boyz fanfic#sunwoo fanfic#sunwoo x you#the boyz x you#tbz x reader#tbz x you#sunwoo hard hours#kpop smut#kpop hard thoughts#kpop hard hours#kpop fanfic#kpop boys#kpop ff#kpop x you
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Sid, why do you think people think Kagome is “so annoying” and “whiny?” How exactly did she earn this reputation among her (rather dumb) haters.
The world is not kind to 15 years old girls, and what is Kagome, if not the perfect representation of one?
People forgot they can dislike a character just because and then move on. They'd rather grasp at straws to try and justify themselves, that way they can pretend they're being rational about the constant hate they're spreading when, truthfully, they're just being miserable.
Kagome specifically is in even greater disadvantage because her critics are, mostly, people who haven't read the source material and are instead basing their takes on a biased adaptation – which they probably watched ages before developping any critical skills – or people who see her as a threat to their ship and therefore are already prone to hate her.
The first group won't ever bother going out of their way to try and get a better grasp of her character by reading a 558 chapters long manga and the second group won't change their minds either way.
That's why they call her out for using the beads of subjugation even if: it wasn't her idea in the first place, it served to balance her relationship with Inuyasha at the beginning – since he was powerful and violent while she wasn't –, the rosary became a symbol of their bond, it saved Inuyasha a couple of times and he was always more annoyed than hurt by it, not to mention Sunrise blowing it out of proportion compared to the manga.
You never see Inuyasha getting bashed for hitting Shippo every other episode or Sango getting any heat for constantly slapping Miroku, because funnily enough people seem to understand it was just dumb, outdated, slapstick comedy, a courtesy they refuse to extend to Kagome.
That's also the reason they call her “annoying” and “whiny”: Kagome’s most important lesson was that it's okay to have feelings, so naturally they twisted that into a bad thing in order to keep hating on her. It's not about how her character was written, it's about people using of bad faith and deliberately mischaracterizing Kagome to pass their internalized misogyny as valid criticism.
I know part of the issue is that audiences nowadays are under the impression that for a female character to be strong, she can't cry or be feminine, but you don't see anyone hating on Sango even though she does cry and she can be as feminine as Kagome depending on the circunstances and on her mood.
The truth is that Kagome is playing a game she can never win, because the refs have decided they want her to lose before the match even starts.
If she stands up and sets boundaries for herself, she's annoying. If she doesn't, she's a doormat. If she feels jealousy, she's a bitch. If she shows kindness, she's boring. If she fights, she's overpowered. If she doesn't, she's useless. If any other character cries, it's heartbreaking. If she cries, she's whiny.
If she goes back to her own world, she's selfish. If she leaves that world behind to live the life she wants for herself, she's a stupid girl who left her family for a boy. If she does something grand, that's only because she's someone else's reincarnation. If she messes something up, the fault is hers and hers alone. She is, somehow, simultaneously a Mary Sue and a toxic abuser.
I've personally seen people slut shaming her because she got hitted on by Koga. I've personally seen people call her a "pick me" girl. Kagome. A pick me girl. Kagome.
And none of this is fair, because she is the kind of character who does her best to see the good in others, to understand the reasons why they act the way they do and to offer them some grace, but she gets very little of that in return, be it in canon, be it in fandom.
They always hold her up to such an impossible standard, but they completely forget to ask themselves: would the characters I stan be able to match the expectations I set for Kagome? Scratch that: would the characters I stan even be able to deal with things the way Kagome managed to do? Would I? The answer is most likely no, so how about cutting her a slack?
You ask me how did she earn this reputation among her rather dumb haters, my answer is: she didn't. They're just incapable of understanding that if a particular nuanced, well written, female character is not their cup of tea, they can simply ignore her and focus their attention on the characters they do like instead of spreading their baseless, misogynistic takes on the internet.
#I also feel like there's this trend of disliking protagonists in general#But I won't elaborate because this is already longer than I wanted it to be#And it applies to most of protagonists so it isn't Kagome specific#It's a dicussion for another day#Inuyasha#Kagome#Kagome Higurashui#Thank you for the ask anon#Sidmailing
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losers • l.c.
Pairing: lee chan x afab!reader
Genres: smut (minors dni!), roommate!au, kinda have a hate-love relationship so they're losers (affectionate)
Warnings: uh they're both kinda switches ig, marking, dirty talk, swearing, mentions of masturbation, chan's a pervert lbr, cum-tasting kinda, panty-stuffing (??) god idk i'm sorry lmk if i missed smth 😭
WC: again like 2k
A/N: this is personally the dirtiest thing I've ever written bc I'm weak but got infected by chanrot somehow anyways I apologize ahead of time for this, planning my retirement and never talking to anyone ever again
Chan's fucking into you hard and fast, too far gone in this thrilling fantasy-turned-reality to have the patience in being gentle. Your legs are wrapped around his dancer hips that have a crazy rhythm and mind of their own. Head against the wall, left hand grasping his bicep and right fingers curling into the tiny hairs on the nape of his neck, you know you'll have bruises from the wall you're being pushed up and fucked against.
You'll have marks in other places you reason, and so will Chan, half-closed eyes wandering over the purple spots dotting his neck to compliment your own. It's not like he listened when you demanded he picks up his musty socks laying around the apartment so you can't even pretend to be surprised when the bastard harshly sucked the skin on your neck despite your protests.
He's muttering all kinds of dirty shit in your ear. Gloating at how your cunt betrays you and tightens around his length even as you hold out from moaning aloud. So, he keeps at it in hopes that you'll end up giving him what he wants because somehow, he likes to think he always gets his way.
"C'mon, you had no problems trying to be quiet earlier."
"... Shut up."
"What, don't tell me you're embarrassed?" He pauses, hips pressed up firmly against your own, cock nestled fully within. "Now? After being so shameless?"
Come to think of it, you've always been shameless. Sauntering around in those tight tanks and tiny shorts. Pressing your tits up against him while he's gaming with the boys to see what tactics you can use to beat him next one-on-one match. Cooing over how big his arm muscles have gotten in the last month when he's doing dishes. The challenging glint in your eyes when you try to get under his skin as you bitch about the disgusting laundry he leaves laying around. Using his body wash so you smell just like you belong to him when you reach over to grab the remote.
But the breaking point is when you casually walk past at breakfast with one of his shirts in hand, which he doesn't recognize at the moment. It takes rummaging in the drawers looking for something to wear to his afternoon dance practice until the realization dawns. The familiar color in your grasp this morning was the last clean t-shirt since the idiot still hadn't done his laundry for the week.
He can't fathom why you'd take an article of his clothing, let alone the only one in his drawers unless you were just trying to be an annoying brat. Again. As usual. So, he marches down the hallway to your room — shirtless in the effort to try and stun, fluster, or win you over in the event of an argument (but originally innocent because he was in the middle of changing) — knuckles poised to rap on your closed door when he hears it.
He pauses. Thinks he's imagining things. You're always noisy in your room — either talking to your friends, yourself, watching videos, listening to music, or playing games. But then, he hears it again.
Louder.
A moan.
Accompanied by the telltale sign of faint vibrating noises.
He shuffles his feet back awkwardly and clears his throat. Technically, it's not the first time he's accidentally heard one of your… self-care sessions. He's sure you've heard his own. Chan has no intentions of rudely intruding on your private time, figuring he'll just… wait... and kill time back in the safety of his bedroom.
But you keep making your pretty sounds like you know, volume increasing even as he backs away slowly. Eyebrows furrowing as he tries to shake away the perverse image that threatens to form in his mind. One he's thought about before. Many times. Many positions. Many places.
Chan rubs his temples. You're going to be the death of him. Because now you're begging.
"Please, please, please!"
For something.
"I need it, baby… "
Someone.
"Ugh!"
To fill you up. Stretch you out. Properly.
He's ready to bolt away before it gets too dangerous. Because he knows he'd be more than willing to open that door and easily give it to you. What you really need to feel good. His jaw clenches as his cock twitches. But that's never going to happen. You're good roommates. Friends even. Too pretty for your own good, too mischievous it can be annoying. But he'll never cross those unspoken boundaries and continues to keep his desires limited in his bedroom, his imagination, and to himself.
Until you say it.
Moaning so loudly you're practically screaming at this point, he can't help but hear it.
His name.
Breathlessly.
"Channie…"
FUCK.
He's frozen solid but the blood is rushing up his neck to his cheeks and simultaneously down to his dick. Mouth open in a silent gasp and groan. Brain short-circuiting as he finally just indulges in what he's already thought about millions of times before, so what's the point? He wonders if you're cumming as you chant his name over and over again like a mantra.
And then your door flies open and he swears out loud.
If he wasn't hard before, he sure is now. Your breasts are spilling out of his extra-large shirt he prefers to dance in because of how free-fitting they are as your chest heaves from the prior activities. Sweat makes all the bare skin he can see glisten and he grunts at the sheen of slick coating your inner thighs.
You eye the tent that's poorly hidden by his gray sweatpants, his abs taut with whatever flurry fuck of emotions he's reeling with. And you smirk like the little vixen you are and raise your eyebrows.
"You gonna just stand there?"
Chan doesn't need asked twice and you let out a squeal as he slams you against the wall. Lips aggressively move against yours as you both try to fight for dominance. He doesn't even need to prep you as he takes out his already aching cock. Warm and so incredibly wet, your dripping cunt still manages to grip around him tightly as he pushes in.
As much as he likes messily kissing you, he pulls back, catching your lips between his teeth. Even though your eyes are lidded, there's a distinct spark in them behind the lust that drives him crazy. You're testing him as you stay suddenly very quiet. Like he's not doing enough. As if his dick isn't doing it for you.
Daring to be ever so shameless even in the state the two of you are entangled in. He's so down bad for you, he thinks it's adorable plus the fact that he's finally balls-deep in you.
"Can't believe you've been getting off to the thought of me. Cute." And you have the audacity to roll your eyes, thinking what's cute about this? "How often have you cum wishing it was me fingering you?"
You keep up your silence, knowing it's aggravating him. Full knowledge that he'll want to keep pounding into you even though he stopped in the attempt to make you crack. As if.
"You're such a brat," he grits his teeth. "Even though wearing my shirt while you bounce on that pathetic little vibrator only helps your dirty little fantasy?"
Your eyes close briefly as your cunt traitorously clenches around him. And he laughs mockingly. Until your eyes fly back open.
"I dunno, you tell me how it feels stealing shit to jerk off to," your voice is low at how fucked out you actually are but it's the devious tone that makes him gulp as you purr, "Channie."
He pauses for real. Because now he knows that you know.
It's not like it really matters because of the situation you're now in. But he had tried to be extremely subtle about it and honestly, you had questioned yourself at first. It happened so infrequently enough, your roommate hardly hinting at what a horny pervert he actually was that you figured you were just overly paranoid.
There was no fucking way Lee Chan was stealing your panties.
You now stare into his eyes boldly, seeing the frantic panic as his mouth opens and closes. His dick twitches and you snort.
"Fuckin' horndog." Your fingers trail down his pecs to his torso to right above where you're connected. "So, tell me. Which ones were your favorite, baby?"
His mind goes back to how you said it as you masturbated and he's completely sure he's smooth-brained at this point. Cheeks hot and the placement of your hand practically scorching, he lets out a throaty whine as you begin to circle the base of his dick that doesn't quite fit in you.
"That's not an answer, baby boy."
And that's when he snaps. And decides to give you an answer.
A proper one.
It's like a flip switches. It's so fast you don't even register what the fuck happens.
Because suddenly, your arms are pinned above your head. He's leering at your wide eyes at the unanticipated fullness of your mouth and Chan thinks he might like it better when you're quiet instead. Sadly, it's not his cock in his mouth but it'll work. Since you're suddenly rolling your eyes back (this time in deliriousness) because he has indeed, clearly given you his answer.
You're familiar with the lacy lilac panties in your mouth — ironically one of your favorite pairs as well. But god, even if you're slightly pissed to be gagged, it's the undeniable saltiness on them that has you letting out your first full moan for him. Even if it's slightly muffled.
And Chan switches gears to let you know exactly what he likes about them.
"It's a shame they were just cleaned, isn't it? Came in them four times, imagining it was your pretty pussy instead. 'Cause I bet these hug your ass just right…" It's his turn to moan, this time your name as he starts pistoning into you again. "But now I don't have to imagine, huh? Bet you'll wear 'em for me."
Despite the fact that you're getting the best fuck of your life and by none other than the guy you've been crushing on since you first saw him passionately dancing on the stage before you even became roommates, he's still a loser and he still stole your goddamn panties. He may be the best masturbation material but he can be annoying and you like to fight him more than anything.
The minute Chan gets a little too lost in how he might cum too fast if he's not careful and loosens the grip on your wrists, you've broken out of his grasp. Taking the opportunity of him gasping as you push him down, you shove the panties in his mouth and he's on his back before he knows it. It's kind of unfair how you take control again with a smug look on your face but this time he willingly surrenders because the sinful way you bounce on top of him is enough for anyone to forgive you.
He also surrenders to his oncoming orgasm, probably cumming the hardest in his entire life, weakly rubbing your clit with one hand and the breast hanging out of his shirt with the other as you milk him for all he's worth during your followed eruption of pleasure.
Gasping and laying in the middle of the stupid hallway, the two of you just stay cuddling that way for a while. Letting the beats of silence pass until someone has to break it.
"So, what happens now?"
"You return all my panties."
"What?"
"Seriously, Chan! How many do you even have?"
"Not enough?"
"Pervert," you grumble as he pouts but you're not actually mad.
"At least let me keep these ones, I mean, you put them in my mouth so they kind of have to be mine now."
"You put them in my mouth first! And they're originally mine!" He clutches his head and you sigh. "… I'll let you fuck me whenever you want, instead."
"For real? No take-backs?"
You start to wonder if you'll regret this offer but at the same time, how could you? Lee Chan may be a loser but his dick game was one-hundred percent a winner.
"No take-backs," you agree slowly, "but only if you promise to like, actually pick up and do your laundry. And I swear to god if I find my panties missing… "
He shouldn't be smiling as wide as he is, but Chan abruptly pulls you into a kiss that's startlingly soft, dare you say loving even. He knows it's a compromise he's willing to make because, in the end, he no longer has to hide and rely on his imagination in his lonely bedroom with the real deal in his arms now.
onlyseokmins: 2022 Losers ©
#lee chan fanfic#lee chan smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#dino smut#dino x reader#lee chan x reader#ez.creates#hhhhhhh that's all i have to say#1k 🌟#svt.smut
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Can you make a top for the MHA fights? From your favorites to your least favorites.
You can take the coreography, narrative weight (the stakes behind and or clashing ideals) and logic behind them (by this i mean if the winner makes sense or not)
There’s a lot of fights in MHA so I’m just going to focus on my top 5 faves/least faves.
Favorites:
1. Shoto vs Izuku: if any fight could summarize the central theme of MHA it’s this one. I loved seeing Izuku break down Shoto’s walls, I loved seeing Shoto let loose and actually smile for the first time, and I loved how Izuku sacrificed a pretty easy win because he saw someone who was hurting and wanted to help them. 
2. All Might vs Nomu: This is a fight that’s just pure fun. Sure, it was a slugfest between All Might and Nomu, but it was a hype one. I liked seeing All Might find a way to defeat an opponent who seems unbeatable.
3. Hawks vs Twice: as I’ve mentioned before, this is a wonderful and heart wrenching fight. Something people don’t notice is that Hawks was actually trying to save Twice. He gave Twice numerous outs and even mentioned that he sees good in him. However, Twice’s loyalty to his friends made him refuse to go to the good side. Hawks, having been trained by the HPSC to be nothing more than a weapon, proved that he was more than that. Twice himself, someone who was constantly seen as an unstable freak, showed us that not everyone who’s bad was born bad. In the end, Hawks put down Twice because he legitimately saw no other way to end the fight.
4. Stain vs Tenya, Izuku, and Shoto: A fantastic fight that shows off Izuku’s true heroic nature and Shoto’s growth while also serving as a great teaching lesson for Tenya.
5. All Might vs AFO: A great fight to end the first set of arcs of MHA. I don’t really have much to say outside of that.
Honorable mentions go to Overhaul vs Izuku, Ejiro going into unbreakable mode for the first time, and Tamaki vs Three of the Eight Bullets.
Least favorite fights (not really going to explain them in detail cause if you’ve read my blog you’d know why I hate these fights):
1. Katsuki vs AFO: Katsuki’s plot armor breaks new grounds as he wakes up from having his arm broken and his heart blown out with no injures, gets a BS quirk awakening, and manages to defeat AFO because the villain was too stupid and didn’t get rid of rewind after he was fully healed.
2. Kacchan vs Deku 2: Katsuki gets his dick sucked for the billionth time while he beats on his victim, ignoring that Izuku was grieving All Might’s retirement too.
3. Kacchan vs Deku 1: Katsuki’s first dick sucking session begins as he’s somehow able to change fighting styles midway through combat despite having no formal training. He was also aiming to essentially torture Izuku and fired off an explosion that would’ve seriously injured, if outright not killed him. Of course, since Hori loves Katsuki, he only gets told to grow up.
4. Katsuki’s fight in the Joint Training Arc: Oh look, a failed attempt at showing that Katsuki’s developed in any meaningful way. Also, let’s watch Hori wank off his favorite again.
5. Katsuki vs Ochako: a failed attempt at displaying a pro-feminism message by Hori because it amounts to another dick sucking session for Katsuki.
Dishonorable mentions go to any fight Katsuki’s in because they’re always Katsuki dick sucking sessions, Hitoshi vs Izuku because Hitoshi’s hypocritical bitch ass was annoying to watch even when Izuku was kicking his ass, and Ochako vs Yui (this one’s cause I’m petty af and as even though I like Ochako, we Stan Yui in this house and she had a higher skill stat so I would’ve liked for her to at least put up a fight)
#anti katsuki bakugou#anti bakugo katsuki#anti bakugo#anti bakugou#mha critical#anti bakugou katsuki#bnha critical#anti shinso hitoshi#anti hitoshi shinso#anti hitoshi
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Over the Falls Ch. 2: Bomb
Sexy Banner & bar by @borabae-gx
Summary: Jungkook sees a lot of things as a pool tech. It’s… fine. It pays the bills between mornings on the water and evenings rocking out with his garage-band. His favorite thing to see on the job has been Grace Birch –older but a hottie, wealthy but nice, and unfortunately very married. At least until Grace learns what her husband has been up to behind her back. Now that she’s free, Jungkook finds himself wondering: what does it take for a guy like him to catch the eye of a woman like that?
Genre: Poolboy Jungkook x Rich Divorcee OC
Tags: Age gap (older woman), socioeconomic gap, Surferboy JK, drummer/guitarist/vocalist JK, Wealthy divorcee OC, househusband
CW: Mature/Explicit, Infidelity (not between JKxOC), language, alcohol, recreational drugs, lots of explicit sex, ageist/racist/classist remarks down the road, outdoor sex, beach sex
Chapter One | Masterlist | Chapter Three
“You’re pursing your lips!” Taro called back to Jungkook. His attempts to unpurse them failed beneath his glare; he pursed them tighter, then squeezed his eyes shut accidentally while trying to relax his lips. Thinking about it all caused him to drag the rhythm and Yoongi abruptly stopped.
“Fuck off,” Jungkook scowled at Taro. “Who cares what my mouth is doing when I’m not singing?”
“I care, it doesn’t look cool.”
“Well stop looking back at me and you won’t see it. The audience is that way,” Jungkook said, pointing with his stick to the front of the garage where Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and Corri chilled with beers on cheap folding chairs. They weren’t paying any attention to the rehearsal, certainly not to anything Jungkook’s face was doing behind the drums.
“Yeah but–”
“No one cares what his fucking face does,” Soyoon agreed with him. “They care whether he nails that tricky rhythm.”
“Thank you–”
“If he looks like a muppet, so what?”
Jungkook’s grateful grin slid into a scowl. Soyoon smiled.
Yoongi’s voice sounded equally as deceptively supportive as he suggested, “Maybe more like a tarsier.”
“I was thinking tree frog,” Taehyung called over.
“You’re all fucking assholes,” Jungkook huffed and did a run on the drums as loud as he could as punishment. They were unfortunately unbothered. As unbothered as they should have been about whatever concentration face he made as he drummed. They had no idea the coordination and focus it required!
“Don’t listen to them,” Hoseok insisted as soon as the cacophony died down. “You’re handsome no matter what face you make, that’s why they’re being like that. They’re jealous. You look so cool when you drum, you’re stealing the show.”
It was too over the top. Jungkook sighed and let his head hang as his friends got their laughs out.
“What? What did I say?” Hoseok mumbled as Jimin patted his arm and shushed him. Hoseok was the only one of their group to say something like that and mean it sincerely, but no one could take it seriously. Alas.
“Let’s just take it from the top,” Yoongi said. “Last song of the night and I’m out.”
“Out? Why out? We’re performing this weekend,” Taro instantly argued. Jungkook saw the twitch of Yoongi’s lips, only the faintest sign he ever showed that he was annoyed.
“Yeah, so we had the extra rehearsal.”
“I just want us to do well,” Taro insisted. “This isn’t a normal performance. It’s a competition.”
Jungkook couldn’t help the snicker, “For Aughts Coverbands. It’s not that deep, Taro, you don’t have to be a bitch about my face.”
“Gee, can’t imagine why you can’t get laid lately.”
“The fuck do you know about it? I can get laid whenever I–” Jungkook sputtered. Really? She had to say that right in front of Corri?!
Soyoon sighed noisily, “We all know you want to win, we all know Junky can get laid, can we just do it already?” God he hated that nickname, if anyone besides Soyoon called him that he’d lose his shit, but somehow she’d always been able to use it as a hook to draw him back. He rolled his eyes at her, as expected, and she grinned and thumbed a line on the bass.
“Winning is fun,” Taro huffed. “I thought at least Jungkook would agree with me.”
“You’re talking shit about my face! We aren’t going to lose because of my face!”
“Only when you purse your lips like that.”
“I’m just concentrating.”
“You’re supposed to make it look effortless.”
“You wanna drum?” he asked, standing from the stool and holding the sticks out. She rolled her eyes and looked away. She’d once tried to pick it up and failed miserable, she lacked the coordination and muscle for it. And Jungkook had taken the high road and not teased her (too bad) about it. Her inability to play any instrument didn’t matter; she was a kickass lead vocalist and frontwoman, even though she sucked before any performance she deemed important. Yeah, Jungkook wanted to do well in a competition, obviously, but it wasn’t supposed to be a source of stress. They were a mostly-covers band, not some music act out to change the world. It was just supposed to be fun. Jungkook had managed to calm down the hyper-competitive streak of his younger days and wasn’t interested in getting all wrapped up in it again.
“I’m just trying to help you get laid,” she mumbled.
“Why are you so worried whether he’s getting laid?” Taehyung asked, just as loudly as before, as if Corri hadn’t already heard all of this. Corri, one of the women uninterested in laying him despite their past lays.
“I’m not. I just think he seems frustrated.”
“Yeah because our vocalist keeps talking shit about my concentration face.”
Yoongi started to play the chorus, a not-so-subtle sign he was bored with the bickering banter.
“Yeah I’m frustrated but not about… whatever, just play the song,” Jungkook huffed. Corri’s obvious avoidance of looking in his direction suddenly embarrassed him, when he usually could shrug off teasing no problem. He didn’t care that Corri didn’t want to fuck anymore, it wasn’t like they had been a thing, it just was embarrassing for someone you weren’t a thing with to tell you they wanted to be even less of a thing… Suddenly he wondered if Corri and Taro had been talking about him….
Before anyone (Taro) could escalate further, Soyoon scolded, “Elizabeth. Sing the damn song so I’m not late to teaching.”
Taro —real name Elizabeth– scowled in Soyoon’s direction this time and Jungkook settled back onto his stool. He flexed his fingers and cracked his neck to get ready for the final run-through of all three songs they would play at the competition: “Misery Business” by Paramore, “All Around You” by Flyleaf, and “The Real Mothers” by Screaming Females. Jungkook could have done without Flyleaf but Taro had gotten to choose the final song after a cutthroat tournament of rock-paper-scissors. Granted, Jungkook would have preferred to cover at least one male-led song, but he wasn’t going to go there.
Instead he did his best to keep his face neutral and un-pinched as he played, his best effort to be above reproach. Yoongi was who he cared more about impressing though; Taro was a great vocalist but when it came to musical talent, Yoongi was their lead with Soyoon not far behind. The two of them wrote and composed all their original stuff and did the arrangements for their covers. The two of them could have gone pro, really, but they had their reasons for being in this hobby band, just like Taro did, just like Jungkook did.
Fun. It was all supposed to be fun.
Usually he liked rehearsal, but Taro was right about one tiny thing: he was frustrated. But it wasn’t about sex! Or at least not about his sex. It was about a particular video sitting on his phone that he had no fucking clue what to do about. He had hoped to ask Yoongi what he thought but then felt stupid about it as they kicked off rehearsal and there wasn’t any time afterwards. As soon as the set was done, Soyoon and Yoongi both split for their evening gigs.
Taro’s face went through a tornado of emotions before she finally put her hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and said, “Sorry. Your face is fine. I just want us to look good but I didn’t mean to be a dick about it.”
“Whoever you have coming to the show isn’t going to fuck or not fuck you because of what my face does.”
She growled, “Come on, I apologized. Don’t be a shit.” But it was allowed. That’s how things were between them, had been for the ten years they’d known each other since their first pick up performances as teens, back when she was just Beth and not the artist known as Taro. He grinned and she pinched his cheek and that was the end of it; she and Corri disappeared with only a backward wave.
Jungkook expected to be on his own for the last bit of cleanup but Jimin and Taehyung and Hoseok shuffled around the garage helping with it. They’d done their best to waterproof the garage but after a leak had come a little too close to an amp, Jungkook was too nervous to leave anything of value on the ground ever again. He’d built a shaky wooden platform for his kit, made sure all the cables and amps were on shelves and hooks against the windowless wall, and kept the other instruments inside the house. Yoongi’s garage had been nicer and at the top of a hill but after his neighbors called the cops on them twice, they’d moved to Jungkook’s garage. His neighbors didn’t give a shit; everyone was noisy here. They usually played with the door open anyways because it got hot as fuck in there with only a couple fans and sometimes people would sit out on their porches to listen. Jimin had the great idea of adding an air conditioner but with what fucking money? Someday. Maybe with the prize money if they won the competition! The 2000s were the worst decade of music as far as Jungkook was concerned, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t win…
He felt the stirrings of ambition and squashed it.
“Paramore and Flyleaf,” he mumbled as Jimin and Taehyung sang lyrics over each other while they looped cables.
“What’s wrong with Paramore?” Hoseok asked. “Besides that you’re too young to remember them.”
“I’m not too young. I remember “Ain’t It Fun,” that album. And I remember these songs! I like them. The drumming is good, and they’re good for Taro’s voice.”
“But… you’d rather be playing something else?”
“I just don’t like the competitions,” he admitted. “I’d rather be doing our usual set for our usual stage. No stress, no worries–”
“Yeah you don’t like it because you’re a sleeping competitive asshole,” Jimin snickered.
Jungkook looked around for anything left down as he demanded, “What does that mean, sleeping?”
“It means you want everything to think you’re chill. Surfer life, ya?” Jimin teased, making two shaka gestures. His mockery was idiotic considering he surfed almost as much as Jungkook did, although he hadn’t gone as much lately. Work. “We’ve known you too long. We know you like to crush the competition.”
“Nah, man, that’s not me anymore.”
Jimin and Taehyung shared a look. Jungkook backhanded Taehyung in the stomach because he was closest, then motioned for them to get out so he could drag the garage door closed. The clicker had been broken for a while and every time one of them tried to fix it, it just broke again. Handymen they were not despite their best efforts, Jungkook in particular. He just didn’t have the knack for it, so he was learning, that was all. Their landlord didn’t have to be such a shitbag about his attempts gone awry. If he’d just call the fucking plumber or contractor or whatever it was on time, Jungkook wouldn’t have to take matters into his own hands! Or worse, Taehyung or Jimin went after it.
“What are we doing for dinner?” Taehyung asked as they kicked their shoes off by the back door. Jungkook ignored the question, assuming it was intended for Jimin or Hoseok, or at least not him. Briefly looking at his phone with the thought of delivery –followed by the painful reminder of his bank account– nudged his attention back to the video. The video. The one currently living in the Recently Deleted folder on his phone, chilling in limbo for 30 days until he either restored it or let his phone delete it for good. He felt no closer to making a decision on what to do with it. Forget he knew this and let it disappear? Give it to Mrs. Birch because she deserved to know she was married to an epic dipshit?
“JK?”
“Yeah episode four, I don’t know.”
“Huh?”
“Are we talking about what to watch?”
“What show are you even talking about?” Jimin laughed at him. “We’re talking about food! Dinner!”
“Oh. Uh…”
Taehyung snickered and nudged him with an elbow as he passed through the door, “He’s thinking about the video.”
“Grossss.”
“I’m not— I’m not thinking about the video,” Jungkook argued. It was a lie; they could tell it was a lie. He didn’t appreciate their joke of making it sound like he was thinking-thinking about it, rather than stressing about it. Stressing wasn’t his style.
“Just delete it, man,” Taehyung said. “You don’t need some guy’s nut on your phone. No offense to the gays in the room.”
“None taken, I don’t want some asshole’s nut on my phone either,” Jimin snickered.
“Yeah but….”
Jimin, still grinning, countered, “Stop being a puss and just tell the wife what you found. She deserves to know and once she’s done being heartbroken, she’ll appreciate it,” Jimin countered. “Maybe a lot.” He wiggled his eyebrows. Jungkook deeply regretted having drunkenly shared a Mrs. Birch fantasy with Jimin just one time, which Jimin would now never ever forget.
Their “advice” was too much like teasing. It didn’t feel serious and had already put him in a bad mood when they first acted like this when he told them yesterday. Not everything was a joke. He wanted to live like that too, sure! But he had a real moral conflict here and he didn’t appreciate them making it sound like he was getting some kind of sick pleasure –either out of having a fucking porn video of that spaghetti-dick Tim or of hoping to get into Mrs. Birch’s good graces as a hero. He didn’t feel like this was heroic. He felt like a fucking creep to have taken it in the first place. He felt like it was infecting his phone. He felt like he was holding a bomb that was going to blow up a marriage and really hurt a good person.
Not that he really knew her and whether she was a good person. For all he knew she had Nice White Lady Syndrome for “the Help” and was an entitled privileged bitch elsewhere. She’d married that fucker, after all, so she had to be like into that kind of guy and lifestyle and all that. Maybe she had her side pieces too, for all he knew! And it just wasn’t him! He didn’t want to insert himself into what could be a really sick, fucked up marriage.
“What if the dude comes after me?” he mused. He flopped down on the couch, instantly comforted by the broken-in cushion that nearly swallowed him. “He could get me fired. Sue me. Ruin my life. I dunno.”
“For exposing his cheating?” Taehyung’s face crinkled up. “Then we fuck him up.”
“He’s rich.”
Jimin tapped his chin and pointed out, “Ah, it’s true, it probably wasn’t legal for you to take that video, right?”
“Huh?”
“You filmed a guy having sex in his own house,” Jimin said. “I just mean… having the video is probably a risk. You should either pass it along or get rid of it, but only if you know the wife won’t turn on you. Rich people… you gotta be careful with them.”
“She…” Jungkook started to say she wouldn’t… but he didn’t know. He didn’t actually know her at all. And now Jimin and Taehyung were making him more scared than guilty. He couldn’t get sued. He didn’t have money! He didn’t have time for court. And his family wouldn’t be able to handle the shame. Who would watch Max when Yoojin got called into work without warning? Who would help his dad set up literally any new electronic device or go grocery shopping with his mom so she didn’t have to carry all the bags into the house because Yoojin was busy with Max and his dad worked a lot and Haewon didn’t live at home anymore? His parents needed him more than ever now, he couldn’t go to jail just because he was trying to do something “good” for a woman he didn’t even know! A thing she probably wouldn’t even appreciate!
He turned to Hoseok, hoping for some meaningful insight from him. Hoseok was a few years older and easily the most mature, experienced person in the house right now. Aside from his choice in dating Jimin, he tended to demonstrate good taste and clear judgment. Jimin and Taehyung could be hit or miss on their advice but Hoseok had a knack for people. Jungkook rebelled at their stirring of the pot, making him so nervous. He wasn’t a nervous guy. There had to be an easy, simple solution.
But Hoseok, who hadn’t said a word this whole time, nor when Jungkook first stupidly told these guys about the video two days ago, just read from his phone, “Kalasha is doing a free delivery special to celebrate the new restaurant. Chicken? Egg sandwiches?”
“Yeah, chicken!” Taehyung quickly agreed. Jungkook understood: they were done talking about this, and he sure wasn’t going to be the needy baby demanding more advice that he didn’t even appreciate. He was both relieved and annoyed. This was his mess. He had to figure this out on his own. But he could have used some good advice.
“Egg sandwich,” he said. “Is there one with chicken too? I’m gonna hit the gym later tonight and surf in the morning so I need that protein, yo!” There, Jungkook back to himself, and his friends readily accepted it.
The crash of the waves against the shore drowned out all else. Early mornings had a cool humidity to them, leaving a cold sweaty feeling on Jungkook’s skin, his hair wild and crunchy from the salt. The warm water lapped his ankles, sand sucking out from beneath his toes as the water swirled and then retreated, only to be overrun by the next impatient wave. It was a beautiful morning to be out, perfect surf conditions, beach not yet overrun by the tourists who would flock here once they’d finished their brunch and mimosas at the nearby resort.
Jungkook shook the wet hair out of his face and closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the breeze off the water. The scent of salt and fish, sharp and pungent, was home to him. He breathed in deeply and tried to let everything else in the world sift from his mind. That was the beauty of surfing, it took all of you, for a brief time you were nothing but a fleck of energy carried by the water. That was what he liked about drumming too. He liked things that consumed him.
Surfing early in the morning had many advantages, when the tide worked out. Nice weather. Quieter beach. Fewer rookies.
“How’s the break, bro?” Carver asked, coming up behind and slapping him on the shoulder. Jungkook saw Missy trailing further up the beach, board perched on her head. He took his eyes off Hoseok only for a second to answer,
“Yeah, bomb breaks today.” He slapped Carver’s back in return. “You’re late for dawn patrol though, eh?”
Carver rolled his eyes, “Someone couldn’t get out of bed this morning.” He jerked his thumb at Missy. Jungkook’s eyebrows raised but he said nothing, knowing he’d be awkward. Carver and Missy had been dating a year now or something like it, and for at least a year before that Carver had trailed along behind her like a lovesick dickhead while Missy didn’t have the time of day for him. Jungkook had spent many a daybreak catching waves with her but she’d seemed unbothered by any of his attempts at flirting –until suddenly one day she took a liking to Carver and now they stayed up all night fucking so she couldn’t make it to the beach on time. Jungkook hated that he knew that. He was fine that she’d never given him a chance but he was bummed to see less of two people he enjoyed.
And also that they were just so happy together.
Fuck, he just knew too much about other people’s fuck lives without having one of his own to occupy his thoughts.
He gave a wave to Missy and headed out to the water just as Hoseok slid smoothly onto the beach. He sure didn’t let his bedmate keep him from catching those early breaks under the first streaks of light. His hair spiked and his smile glowed as he took those first heavy steps off the board and then immediately turned around to drag it back into the water a few yards behind Jungkook.
“I’ve only got time for one more,” he called, voice swallowed by the surf but Jungkook still heard and remembered he’d said that earlier, he had an earlier shift as a manager at the resort. It was a really demanding job, and he busted his ass. But he was still here! Unlike Taehyung. Jimin was practically a hodad at this point anyway so it didn’t really matter if he was here since he just distracted Hoseok anyway.
Jungkook walked until he had to glide and paddle. The sun was steadily heating up on his back but the water felt cool by comparison, drenching the thin fabric of his rash guard. He kept his eyes on the horizon where sea birds flitted and landed, and a couple fishing boats in the distance seemed to hover. Greenish fish darted beneath the shadow of his board. A shadow of a cloud passed over but otherwise the sky was clear and would no doubt be scorching later. Work was going to be hot today. He had three pools to clean, and then had promised Yoojin he’d take Max in the evening. She was being cagey as shit about why she needed the sitting, which probably meant she had a date and she knew very well how Jungkook felt about that. Yoojin’s taste in men was as shitty as her cooking. Max was the only good thing her ex had ever done in his life, and he wasn’t even still involved except for an occasional miniscule child-support check.
When he got far enough out, he straddled the board and waited as first one and then a second mushburger made him bob. Too gentle to ride. Sitting in the lull was peaceful though and gave Hoseok time to catch up. Jungkook breathed the breeze and watched his friend sit up several yards away. As the first one out, Jungkook had wave priority, but he knew Hoseok had somewhere to be.
“You want the next one?” he called.
“Nah bro, you’re first!”
“I can wait. I’m floating.”
“No no it’s fine, you first.”
“Eh…” Jungkook sighed as a totally surfable swell raised beneath them. Neither of them took it, just watched as it peeled. “Damn, would’ve been perfect.”
“Take it,” Hoseok insisted. “I can chill.”
Jungkook briefly considered it. Felt his muscles tense as another swell began to rise behind him. But being out here was soothing, and he felt tendrils dragging at his mind again that he wasn’t willing to face once he went back to shore. Out here he was nothing, nobody, just a piece of driftwood on the sea. Back on land, he had a job to do. The Birch pool was on his roster today, and he was no closer to figuring out what to do with the video in his trash folder. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back as the wave once again passed them and broke.
“Bro,” Hoseok called. “You ok?”
“What do I do about that video, man?” Jungkook sighed, shouting to be heard over the distance. “I just don’t know… I gotta face her today and what, know her husband is fucking around and that she probably doesn’t know? But damn I don’t want to be tied up in some rich person bullshit…”
Hoseok shook his head, “Yeah, you can’t get into that shit. Richies will rip you up, they don’t give a shit you were trying to do a good thing.” Of course, Hoseok saw lots of shitty rich people in his resort job. Jungkook had briefly worked there as a cabana boy too. He remembered. Oh boy, did he remember.
“Yeah but…” Jungkook sighed. They were all right. He knew they were right, and his family would give the same advice if he asked –which he wouldn’t, because he would never talk to his family about personal problems like that. They had enough of their own and he was the eldest now so it was his job to help them.
But he also just had this painful twist in his stomach at the idea of Mrs. Birch being married to that piece of shit. Probably the fucker was going to catch something and give it to her and that’s how she’d fine out. He’d get some other chick pregnant. She’d walk in on it and be traumatized. Maybe she was secretly as shitty as the rest but if she wasn’t, didn’t she deserve to know the kind of man she married? Since apparently she hadn’t already figured it out on her own? But it wasn’t Jungkook’s job to tell her…
“I see that look,” Hoseok laughed, splashing Jungkook to get his attention. “You want to do it. That’s why I don’t like to give you advice. You just do what you’re going to do anyway.”
“The thing is, I would want to know,” Jungkook said.
“You aren’t her. You should be worried about yourself. She doesn’t care about you.”
It hurt to hear. It was true. He didn’t like to hear it but appreciated the honesty.
“I know but… otherwise what, I keep cleaning their pool and keep knowing and don’t say anything? That’s not who I am. I want to be an honest person no matter what.”
“No matter what,” Hoseok laughed. “It’s admirable but sometimes not the best.”
Jungkook let out a noisy sigh.
And then had an idea.
“What if it’s not me that tells her?” he said, slowly turning his board after it drifted. “What if I just give her the video anonymously? Then she knows but no one knows it’s me.”
Hoseok’s face screwed up, “How would you even do that?”
“Burn a dvd. Leave it in her mailbox?”
“They probably have cameras all over the place. Or they’ll data mine the DVD or whatever…”
But Jungkook was onto something and he knew it. Fine, a USB stick, and he didn’t think it had to be that secure because he hadn’t seen anything that made him think either of the Birchs was that technically smart and they were going to have bigger things to worry about anyway, right? Like divorce. Divorce that would bring that piece of rich-ass shit to his dry, wrinkled knees.
“Nah bro, this will work!” Jungkook beamed. He felt an instant lightness swell within him that had nothing to do with the lift of another wave beneath the board. “Ya, ok, it’s a plan. Let’s get it!”
“Wait, but JK–”
“I’m taking this one!” he called, ignoring Hoseok’s concerns. There was no good path forward but this was the best one. Probably Mrs. Birch would be hurt but at least no one could trace it to him and he wouldn’t have to admit to her he’d been the one to record it and no one could sue him for what pennies he had to his name.
He caught the next wave, leaping to his feet at the lip of it as he drew in a deep, joyful breath. This was the best part. Flying. Adrenaline coursed through his body, just the right amount to make him feel like a beam of sunlight, the rough board beneath his feet the only thing left to ground him as he cut his board across clear water that sprayed in his face. No barrels big enough to pull into this morning but the drop left his heart thumping in his chest and his head spinning. Nothing beat the high of a bitchin’ ride.
Suddenly the wave closed out, sending Jungkook tumbling into the water. The slap to his chest left him winded but he surfaced only a moment after his board bobbed, tugging his ankle by the leash. He flipped his hair back and lifted his face to the sun as he swiped the salt water from his eyes. Didn’t matter that he’d grubbed it, the ride had been excellent until then. Grubbing it was just part of the game.
With a lighter heart and a clear mind, Jungkook sloshed his way to shore to put his plan into action.
The orange envelope was on the front porch when she got home that day, tucked between the storm door and the wooden door as if the mailman had dropped it off. They often did that, even though Tim had built a big stupid UV box for packages. She couldn’t blame the mailmen for not wanting to open the lid of a heavy-looking mysterious box just to leave her latest pantry tupperware from Amazon or Tim’s Razor of the Month club or whatever, despite the insistent sign. She tried to always be the one to bring the mail in so she wouldn’t have to listen to Tim rail about packages left on the ground. He worried about that kind of thing. He thought he was the kind of person important enough for someone to send Anthrax to in the mail.
She’d grabbed the envelope on her way out to get the mail from the box, and tossed it all onto the kitchen counter since Tim was out of town and not here to gripe at her for even briefly making a mess.
“It’s unfair of me to be so critical towards him,” she scolded herself as she looked in the fridge to see what the personal chef had left her for dinner. Tim had actually been very pleasant lately. He’d finally agreed they ought to redecorate the bedroom (as long as it stayed white and gray), praised the dinner she made on a day the chef didn’t come, greeted her with daiquiris after she’d been swimming and asked her about her day as he untied the strings of her bikini.
Look, she knew those things shuffled over a low bar when listed out of context. But the context was that he’d been working hard and stressed for a while now. The latest acquisition was so close to signing and he was sweating it but the fact he was making an effort even in the midst of that meant a lot to her. It reassured her that once they were to the other side of this period of work, things were going to even out again. Tim would go back to being a bit less of a cranky asshole. She would go back to feeling less resentful, a little more charitable about the moodswings of her hard-working husband who was doing his best to succeed in a cutthroat industry. He wanted to make a name for himself beyond what his own father had accomplished. She admired that.
While the oven preheated, she flipped through the mail, mostly junk. When she got to the envelope though, she realized it was just addressed to Mrs. Birch, no mailing address, no stamp.
Her first thought was that a friend must have dropped something off for her, only to instantly consider it would be really weird for them to address it to Mrs. Birch. None of her friends called her that.
A client? But she never gave her personal address to anyone she worked for, there was no need for it anyway, she just had things mailed to the office space she kept.
Maybe she had forgotten something somewhere? Her license would have her name and address on it, but the salutation of Mrs. would be odd because how would the person know she was married? Unless she dropped something and they googled her? Her address was supposed to be unlisted but people had ways of searching public records.
She tore the end of the envelope open and out tumbled a CD in a jewel case. Her brow furrowed. Certainly not something she owned and left somewhere. Nothing was printed on the CD. She checked inside the envelope for any evidence of marketing material and found a folded piece of paper with a printed sentence:
Your husband is not who you think he is. He’s a fucking asshole.
Grace’s blood ran cold.
Tim’s involved with something bad. That felt like the immediate and obvious thing. Tim worked in business and he was constantly trying to get ahead, always working upstream and feeling behind. It made sense that he might have taken what looked like help in a moment of difficulty and wound up in over his head with something. Or someone. He could be short-sighted, she’d always secretly thought that about him.
“Oh god please don’t let it be something illegal,” she murmured, hand shaking as she turned the CD over in her hand. Just how bad could it be? Extortion? Money-laundering? Murder? No. No, Tim wasn’t capable of murdering someone, what a ridiculous thought.
But dirty business, with the confidence he wouldn’t be caught….?
The fact was that in the moment, at just one sentence prompt from a mysterious source, Grace’s trust in her husband tumbled like a tower of toothpicks. Instead of debating who would be out to malign her husband, Grace fretted whether this CD was safe for her to look at, or if simply by seeing whatever was on here, she might become an accomplice. What if he’d already done things to implicate her?
Grace was not going to prison for Tim!
Her heart pounded in her chest so painfully she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She set the CD quickly down on the counter and backed away, already contemplating whether she ought to wipe her fingerprints off. But no, no, it would make sense she opened an envelope addressed to herself. It didn’t mean she’d committed any crime–
And this didn’t mean Tim had either! She leaned against the counter and pressed her hand to her forehead.
Fuck, I’m a bad wife.
This was Tim, for fuck’s sake. He could be an asshole, the anonymous sender was right about that, but it didn’t mean he was doing anything illegal or dangerous or immoral. Probably this was some business thing, some colleague of his pissed about a move he’d made and trying to undermine him starting at home.
…But what if it wasn’t?!
Grace’s family had been in possession of significant money for several generations. Old money. 19th century American money funded by 18th century European money. She’d been raised with warnings and stories, not paranoia but awareness that sometimes the presence of money made people think you were an easy victim. Maybe Tim wasn’t the target here, maybe she was.
She grabbed her phone and placed a call and after only a few rings heard her father’s deep voice over the line, greeting, “Grace? What’s up, honeybell?”
“Hi Daddy, there’s a thing… it’s making me nervous so I wanted to ask…” She trailed off, realizing immediately how stupid she sounded. She should have pulled her thoughts together before calling.
“What’s the matter now? Something is what?” She could tell he was distracted over the line. Mid-day like this, he was probably out golfing, or at least at a friend’s house for the afternoon. Her dad was a creature of habit, an introvert who’d carved his safe places out over the decades they’d lived in Winnetka, Illinois. His days were predictable.
“Sorry, Dad, I just got spooked. Someone left a weird envelope at my house with a CD and–”
“Wait, who did what now?” he interrupted. Grace felt the shudder across her shoulders at that tone in her father’s voice, even knowing it wasn’t aimed at her. He’d been casual before but pulled himself into lawyer mode in only an instant.
“I’m just being silly,” she began. That’s what her mother would say. Calling her dad, interrupting his afternoon plans, because someone left a CD on her porch and she was freaked even though she didn’t even know what was on it.
“Someone left something on your porch? What did they leave?”
“I don’t know, a CD and a printed note that says, um…” She grimaced. “It says my husband isn’t who I think he is.”
The line was silent for a moment. Grace’s father had grown to love Tim. He’d be pissed at slander aimed her husband’s direction. He’d be furious about baseless accusations.
“You know who sent it? You know what’s on it?”
“No,” Grace said. “I called you right away.”
“Is Tim there?”
“He’s out of town.”
“All right, Grace, don’t touch a thing. Call Alan. Don’t do anything until Alan is there.”
Grace nodded as if he could see her and mused, “I don’t know whether I should call Tim. Maybe he has an idea–”
“Do not call Tim,” he interrupted. “Only Alan. Don’t talk to anyone else. He’ll bring a secure computer over to look at what’s on the CD and after that I want you to check into a hotel until this gets figured out. This person knows where you live and that your husband isn’t home–”
“So you think it’s something bad?”
“Well you do, don’t you, sweetheart? Calling me sounding like you’re having a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry, I know I’m probably overreacting–”
“No such thing with our family.”
“But it’s not like Tim is actually a bad man. The CD is probably just… I don’t know. Something stupid. Someone’s just angry at him for something…”
Grace wanted to hear her dad agree that she was overreacting. His serious response escalated her fears. She’d wanted to be talked off the ledge and instead he was calling in a SWAT team and helicopter rescue.
“Do as I say, Grace. Call Alan now and tell me when he’s there.”
Spooked, Grace did as he said. Within thirty minutes, Alan Theodorakos stood on her doorstep straightening his cuffs and adjusting his hair in the reflection of the one-sided mirror where a window used to be in the door. One of the family’s many lawyers, Alan had worked for Grace’s parents for many years before she moved to California; now, because of proximity, he’d served as Grace’s own legal counsel any time she’d needed it, even if just to oversee her affairs with specialized attorneys such as when she’d married and when they’d bought their house. Her father was a lawyer too, of course, but financial, and he never directly handled family matters himself anyway.
“Where is the CD?” he immediately asked when Grace welcomed him in.
“I left it on the kitchen counter.” She showed him where the jewel case lay next to the printed note and the torn envelope, her name side up. Alan took a photo of all of it and Grace felt that tremor in her stomach again. If everyone was taking this so seriously, maybe she wasn’t taking it seriously enough!
Alan had with him a laptop, just as her dad had said he would. They made only the most polite small-talk as he set it up and, with gloves, removed the CD from the case and inserted it into the tray. Grace wrapped her arms around herself and paced back and forth, afraid to look, unable to look away.
“It’s probably nothing,” she said to herself as much as to him. “I’m probably wasting your time, it’s just some disgruntled admin assistant or something…”
Alan didn’t have anything to say to that except, “Nothing is ever a waste of my time.” Because your family pays well, he didn’t need to say. Yes she’d wanted financial independence from her family, but legal counsel was one thing she let them fund, so sue me. Except don’t, please….
“It looks like there’s a video file,” Alan said, opening the CD. The filename was automated, generic. He double-clicked to pull it up and Grace held her breath, bracing herself for something. Perhaps her imagination was running away with her –this was very impractical, yes, when she usually prided herself on being a practical person– but her dad and Alan had her fearing the worst now. Kidnapping, torture, murder. At least a secret meeting discussing some money-laundering scheme that was going to land her in court for weeks defending her oblivious innocence as Tim’s spouse. I’m sorry, your honor, I’m a fool but I’m innocent.
“Let’s see,” Alan said and hit play.
And this was how Grace wound up watching a video of her husband fucking another woman while standing next to her father’s lawyer.
Grace’s mouth hung open. Somehow she was shocked, even when the deepest part of her brain taunted her for being so surprised. It was recent; she saw the blue flower arrangement on the kitchen counter without even needing a time stamp. She didn’t recognize the woman, but she was young and beautiful and not Grace.
“I can stop the video,” Alan murmured, reaching forward but Grace brushed his hand away. She stared, eyes glued to the screen as her heart shattered. Or her mind. Something inside of her shattered.
Every criticism, every fight, every distracted dinner and missed date and complete lack of concern for anything she cared about flew in her face now. She’d loved Tim to distraction, even when he was unfair, even when he was unkind, even when he’d been a nobody before. And now he was doing this behind her back, as if she was nothing to him! In their own home! On her own fucking kitchen counter?!
She wanted to scream. She wanted to sob. But her upbringing trained her better than that. She turned a tight-lipped grimace to Alan and said,
“It turns out this is a private affair.” Affair. Terrible choice of words.
“Indeed,” Alan nodded. “I can provide legal counsel however you’d like to proceed.”
“For now I just need discretion…” How would she like to proceed…. Grace couldn’t fucking answer that! She still was having a hard time processing that Tim was fucking around on her. Tim! Tim, who was so focused on work and deals and dollar signs that he barely had time for her anymore, much less…. Except apparently he did!
“What would you like me to say to your father?” Alan prodded.
Grace grimaced. There was no good answer. Her father paid Alan’s bills but he was here as her legal counsel. But if Alan gave her father a non-answer, he’d be calling her up for direct answers within minutes.
“I’ll call him,” she said, just to buy herself time. What was she going to say? It’s a private matter between Tim and I. Might as well put up a sign on the front lawn that her husband was cheating on her. And to admit that to her family! She couldn’t. There were exactly zero divorces in her family. If there had ever been infidelity, she sure didn’t know about it. A marriage was for life, and it was her job to make this marriage worked, even in the face of infidelity, especially after she’d defended this relationship so hard in the face of her family’s early concerns. God, they were going to think she was worse than an idiot!
“Very well.” Alan packed the CD back into the jewel case to leave with her, took his laptop, and bid her good day. With another offer to provide whatever help she needed, he was gone.
Grace stood alone in her kitchen and tried to make sense of this. Tim cheating. Someone filming it from within her property. Someone sending it for her to find. Some explanation she needed to give her father. A very painful conversation she needed to have with Tim without any understanding yet of what she wanted to have happen. Did she want him to grovel and apologize? Did she want the shame of being divorced and cheated on? What would her family say if she left? What would her family say if she stayed?
Grace sank down to the mat in front of the sink and tried to cry but she just felt numb. This couldn’t be real. She’d so carefully managed her life up until now. She had thought Tim was right there in the seat next to her. What was happening?!
In a brief moment of gumption, Grace called her dad and, before he could say a word, blurted out, “It turns out it’s a private matter between Tim and I. I’d rather not talk about it yet. Please don’t tell anyone else yet.” It was an impossible thing to ask, but she decided she’d try.
A pause had her heart in her throat. She felt like so much hung in the balance: would her father defend her dignity or her marriage?
“Why don’t you and Tim come for a visit? I’d like to spend an afternoon golfing with him, man to man.”
Her marriage.
Grace said a quick goodbye before any pained sobs could escape, let her face drop to her bent knees, and tried to squeeze the tears back in. Like everything else in her life, it seemed, she failed.
The days were long this week in a way Jungkook didn’t like, but he’d picked up the extra lifeguarding hours because he needed the money. Haewon needed textbooks and that shit was expensive so he’d told her to ask him instead of their parents and then demanded to know why she wanted to be a lawyer so bad anyway. Political Science. Boring as fuck, he couldn’t believe how much money they were paying for her to be a leech. She always screeched at him when he teased her about it. He just wanted to keep her humble, that’s why he teased.
It had been hot as balls on the beach that morning and he’d been stuck near the wharf which sucked swamp ass because you had to actually do stuff: namely, chase people away when they swam too close to the pillars. Which everyone wanted to do, because there was shade, and just blowing your whistle wasn’t enough because suddenly people “couldn’t hear you” and “didn’t know the whistle meant they were doing something wrong.” So you had to drag your ass all the way over to yell at them, and then by the time you got back up to your chair, some other fucker was doing the same thing. Didn’t they look at the surf and the giant immovable objects and realize how easily the ocean could bash their puny brains out?! But if there was anything Jungkook had learned about tourists and teenagers both, it was that they had poor respect for the ocean. You had to respect the ocean. She was older and more powerful than you. Unconcerned with whether you lived or died. Sexy of her but annoying for lifeguards.
He only had two pool cleans on his schedule today, which meant an easier afternoon before band practice tonight, so he should still have energy to fight with Taro about how they shouldn’t add more 00s rock to their regular set just because they’d managed to come in second place in that competition. The first pool was an easy job, and the second was the one he both looked forward to and dreaded the most: The Birches.
This time last week, he’d chickened out dropping the envelope off, only to go back and do it later that day when the guilt ate at him. Now he wished he’d waited until the end of the season in two weeks so he wouldn’t have to see them again for a while; while most people kept their heated pools running year-round here, the Birches closed theirs at the end of summer so he was almost free of them. He’d never understood why. It was heated and this was southern Cali. He’d be swimming in that baby 365 days a year.
But he’d dropped the envelope and sprinted away and today would be the first opportunity to see if the bomb he dropped had done any damage. It gave him a nervous twitch, because what if he’d done the wrong thing? What if they knew it was him?
What if he was going to get arrested as soon as he showed up?!
Still he went, because he wasn’t someone to turn away from an unpleasant task, no matter how scary. And he needed to get paid. Maybe nobody would be there again, like last week…
The garage was closed but he glimpsed three cars through the windows after he’d parked in the driveway –Mr. Birch hated that. Well Jungkook hated douchebags who cheated on their wives. And walking further to get to the pool than he had to after lifeguarding all morning.
The missing car was Mr. Birch’s. Jungkook felt his skin tingle but ignored it, uninterested in nerves. Instead he prepared himself to knock on the back door, per usual, so Mrs. Birch would know he was here and unfortunately not accidentally walk out in revealing clothing–
Except Mrs. Birch was in the pool. In the pool. Jungkook froze like a bank burglar just inside the pool gate as her faked-blonde head surfaced from the water. Her eyes remained closed as she pushed her hair back, water droplets spraying as she panted for breath, emphasizing her collarbones and long neck.
Fuck. Fuck! Red alert!
Jungkook just stared as she grabbed the edge of the pool to hold herself steady as she swiped the water from her face. She looked tired, out of breath, like she’d been swimming hard for a while, not just lounging around for a dip.
Is she the swimmer then? Jungkook didn’t find it surprising at all to learn this about her but it made him happy, like this somehow confirmed she was the good person he’d always thought she was. Of course she was the swimmer. They both loved the water. And damn did she look good doing it, even just bobbing there as she pushed her hair back from her shoulders.
White bathing suit.
Jesus Christ, Jungkook was going to hit the deck. His brain attempted to save him without thinking through the consequences: he cleared his throat. It was rude. It was out of line. It wasn’t at all what he’d meant to do but someone had pulled the fire alarm in his head and that was the result.
Mrs. Birch spun quickly to face him, clearly started, and gasped, “Oh! Shit!”
The fantasy that hadn’t even begun to spin yet –that she had done this on purpose for him– died in its cradle.
“I’m so sorry, is it– are you early?” she asked. Her bare face looked at him with such surprise and alarm that he actually felt too bad to ogle her the way he wanted to.
“Ah, um… I don’t… think so,” he mumbled. Actually he was later than usual but he didn’t want to argue with her. “I can come back later?” He couldn’t, it was already late afternoon. Well, he could. He would! If she wanted him to.
“No no, I’m sorry, let me get out of your way.”
He watched with a semi he’d deny to his grave as she gracefully swam to the ladder and pulled herself up like a fucking centerfold. It was a one piece, he realized with no disappointment because the cutouts at the side showed smooth waist and water streamed down her bare shoulderblades and exposed back– but fuck he couldn’t tell if the tattoo was there or not, the bottom rose too high over her ass. She almost caught him staring when she turned to wrap the towel she’d set on the lounge chair, except his brain had leapt immediately to nipple patrol–
Fuck! He didn’t get a good look as his brain caught up with his stare and he immediately averted his eyes, leaving her to cover herself with the towel not under his blown-out gaze. Shit! He was around hot chicks in bathings suits all the time! Why now did his brain decide to run away….
“I completely lost track of time. Um…” She paused and then gestured to the pool with one hand as if to tell him to carry on, then fled into the house.
Jungkook just stood there for a moment. He’d never seen Mrs. Birch –or anyone for that matter– in the pool before, though legend said they used it, at least for parties sometimes. He felt a sense of pride now to know she really did, and that she looked so damn good in it. He sauntered to the edge to survey his work and felt his satisfaction grow further at the confirmation that he kept this pool in good shape. It looked great right now. He wouldn’t have to do much today, clean the filters, maybe nothing else. Now he felt bad to have chased her off. He could have done that while she kept swimming. He wouldn’t mind.
Damn. He was going to be thinking about this for a long time.
White bathing suit, huh?
He grabbed the outdoor trash and some gloves to get to work on the filters, in the hopes he could wrap it up quickly and she could slide right back in. But just as he was finishing up, she reappeared from the house in loose lounge clothes with her hair piled up on top of her head and a bamboo tray with his drink and snacks in her hands.
“You didn’t have to,” he called to her, “I won’t be long today. Pool looks good. Are you using it a lot lately?”
Her head tilted as she set the tray down and asked, “Yes, I’ve been out here every day lately. You can tell?”
It was mostly a lie as he shrugged, “If you’re swimming a lot, the motion sends the detritus into the filters. If no one’s swimming, it sits on top.” Detritus. Haewon had used that word a couple weeks ago and he’d latched onto it because it sounded more professional than shit.
“Oh, that makes sense.”
“Yeah?”
She glanced at the pool and he got the feeling something was bothering her. Which made sense, considering the whole bomb on her doorstep thing, now that his head had cleared enough to remember that. For a moment he thought she knew it was him and was going to ask him about it. Of course she’d figure it out, she seemed smart, or he’d missed something obvious in covering his tracks…
“Well I won’t bother you while you finish.”
“You’re not a bother,” he assured her. Her smile was small and didn’t reach her eyes as she turned to go. He reached for the drink out of obligation, because really he didn’t have anything more to do but he couldn’t just leave the things she’d brought for him sitting there. It felt unappreciative. Also it was free.
She must be hot in the long-sleeved lounge top, although the fabric was thin. The shorts rode high, showing off her thighs as she headed back towards the house. He realized she could see his reflection in the windows and squinted to look out over the pool as if he was lost in thought when she suddenly stopped walking, hand on the door.
When she turned, arms sliding across to sort of hold herself, Jungkook felt that nervous flutter. Oh no. Busted staring at her ass. Caught. He felt like a kid again, he’d fucked up and it was time to get in trouble. He gave into the urgent need to have his hands full, so he popped open the bag of chips and shoveled a handful into his mouth as she came back.
“Hey,” she said, voice softer and less certain than he’d ever heard her before. Her whole body seemed to curl in on itself miserably, a far cry from the way she’d pushed up from the pool half an hour ago. “I just wanted to ask you– when you were here last time, did you happen to see anyone drop off something? On my front porch?”
His eyes went wide. He chomped down, accidentally getting his cheek too, and cursed as he pressed his finger to the outside of it. She just watched him and he realized with a burst of paranoia how fucking guilty he looked. He sucked at lying. He was terrible at lying, especially when he really was guilty as shit!
“Oh, um…” he fumbled, swallowing the Cheetos down and licking the residue off his finger. He licked his lips nervously, feeling like there was orange powder there too. “From back here? What package?” Playing stupid was better than outright lying, even if saying he’d seen someone else do it would probably do a better job of getting him out of the hot seat.
She shifted her weight and chewed on the inside of her cheek, exactly where he’d just accidentally bitten on his own, and this similarity sent another wave of guilt rolling over him. He was lying to her. Fuck. Was he any better than Mr. Birch?! Shitothy Smirch? Eh, not his best work for taunting names….
“Ok, if you didn’t see anything… I just thought…” A cascade of emotions crossed her face, so raw and unpoised compared to the normally polite and neutral look she had with him, that Jungkook felt himself chipping further apart. She looked miserable, her face even redder than it had been just getting out of the pool. “Someone left an orange envelope for me,” she said. Fuck, were her eyes watering?!!? “I don’t know who but I’m trying to find out who so I can talk to them about it before–”
“It was me,” he blurted out as he suddenly realized how fucking scary this must be for her. “I left the envelope and I’m really sorry–”
He cut off as Mrs. Birch started to cry. Not quite burst into tears the way he might have expected, but she drew in a shaky breath and the tears he’d suspected managed to sneak out and she pressed her hands to her face.
The impulse to reach for her was hard to deny but he did. Obviously he couldn’t touch this woman he barely knew and whose marriage he’d just exposed as a sham. Plus he had Cheeto dust on his fingers and her clothes were light colored. He’d done enough already! It would be wrong! But it was hard to watch her upset and not comfort her.
“I’m sorry,” he said again in desperation. “I swear I’m not trying be a dick or anything, I just thought you should know.”
He saw her draw air in like strength and push her hands back through her hair, fortifying herself, before demanding with a strong expression that didn’t match the tears on her cheek, “So you filmed it and left an anonymous package on my porch?”
He pulled back, defenses instantly activated. Fuck. Had he misjudged? Had she already known? Did she not care? Fuck! All his friends had told him not to get involved but he’d wanted to be this hero and now he’d really fucked himself.
“I, uh, I thought you should know,” he stammered again. “But maybe you wouldn’t want anyone else to know? I wasn’t going to blackmail him or anything. It’s private for you so I didn’t want to blow up your spot–”
“But obviously someone knew, the person who took the video! And I didn’t know who it was until I watched the security footage and then I thought it was you but–”
“Ah I thought I had my hat on low enough…” he mumbled.
She gave him a baffled look and pointed out, “You still look and walk like yourself– but I didn’t know if I was wrong or who was filming from inside my backyard and it was just really scary…” She trailed off and suddenly sat down on the lounge chair, threatening to upend the bamboo tray. She covered her face again. She took another of those deep bracing breaths.
“Shit, I’m really sorry scared you,” he said, sinking onto the second one to face her. “I just felt bad about it.”
“Why?! You weren’t fucking someone else in our–” She broke herself off and that spark of rage tossed him around another loop. He didn’t know her, he didn’t know her emotional processes, he didn’t know how she was handling this thing he’d opened her eyes too, and yet he felt unavoidably anchored here with her in this moment. How would he handle this in her shoes? He sure didn’t know, but he thought he’d do an even worse job of holding himself together.
“Yeah but I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought you should know your husband is a fucking piece of shit.” The words rolled out without any hesitation because he was.
But it brought Mrs. Birch up short. She looked shocked, as if she somehow hadn’t realized what the video showed, and for a moment he forgot she had just referenced it and worried she hadn’t actually watched and he’d just done exactly what he had hoped to avoid: verbally give her this news. Instead she blinked slowly at him.
He meant to say sorry if that was too blunt but what actually came out was, “You deserve better than that.” He wasn’t actually sorry about that.
“Like you?”
“Wait, what?!” he cried, and jumped to his feet and stepped back so quickly he tripped on the lounger and fell onto his ass, tangled up in his own sandals. “No! I– what? I don’t have anything to do with this! I just–”
“I’m sorry,” she gasped this time, and covered her face again. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I just…”
He’d scraped his palm in the fall; she didn’t seem to have even noticed that he did something so fucking clownish. Everything was all fucked up right now, she was all fucked up he understood now. That’s why she seemed all over the place.
“Hey, it’s ok, it’s ok. Look, I swear I don’t have any shitty motives.” He eased back onto the lounger, ignoring the burn of his hand. “I didn’t want to get involved with your personal business. I just couldn’t believe he’d do that to you and I didn’t think you’d believe me if I just told you so I… but yeah, you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Her voice was barely a whisper as she lowered her hands, eyes on her knees, “I would have believed you.”
“Damn.” He stopped himself from saying more. But damn that was a bad marriage if you’d believe your poolguy that your husband was banging someone else without even providing proof. She must have already known then that she’d married an asshole. That made him both very happy (Mrs. Birch is not like him!) and very sad for her (Mrs. Birch is married to someone who doesn’t deserve her!)
Watching her struggle to compose herself was distressing. He wished she would just cry it out hard. She’d feel better and he’d feel better too. Instead it was like watching her hurt herself further trying to keep the tears locked in when they so obviously wanted to come out.
“Who else did you show that video to?” she asked, gaze lifting to meet his. Her words sounded fiercer than her face looked, though her expression was still sort of scary. Sharp. “Or tell about… this?”
“No one,” he said, hoping a quick response would hide that it wasn’t entirely true. “Who would I tell? Why? I don’t even like knowing about it and I don’t know anyone who knows you–”
“You didn’t like upload it to the internet or– Reddit or something–”
“Fuck, no.” The goodwill he’d felt after she had said she’d have believed him evaporated and he felt as scummy as her cheating husband. “I don’t post that kind of shit anyway but even– I would never do that to you. Why would I do that–”
“I don’t know, for money, for clout, for revenge because Tim has been rude to you–”
Jungkook pushed to his feet as the heat rose in his cheeks, tingling up his neck. Apparently she’d believe him that her husband was cheating but not his own promise that he wasn’t blackmailing anyone. That she thought so lowly of him was the bullet through every last fantasy he’d harbored. No one had ever thought so badly of him as Mrs. Birch apparently did. Except maybe Mr. Birch.
“I said I wasn’t blackmailing,” Jungkook grumbled and turned to go because there was nothing else to say here.
Her hand suddenly on his arm stopped him dead in his tracks; she had leapt up and caught him quickly.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you, it’s just… you wouldn’t be the first person who realized they could use something like this against my family.”
“Your family?” He made a face, ignoring the hiccup in his chest at her fingers curled against his arm. Just as quickly she let go. “I don’t know anything about your family and I don’t care. I just wanted to let you know in case you didn’t, that’s it.”
It was like she hadn’t heard a word he said and continued, “And just think about it from my perspective. This is a private matter that I want to handle privately.”
“Well I’m not telling anyone,” he huffed, frustrated by the ongoing accusations.
“Do you still have the video? Will you delete it in front of me?”
“I already deleted it,” he said, but still fished out his phone. “You think I wanted that on my phone? It’s in my trash.”
“Yeah but will you permanently delete it? Please? I’m sorry I insulted you, I’m just… stressed right now.”
He paused, phone unlocked, showing a picture of the beach behind his apps. It softened the edge of her accusation to be reminded that the inciting incident of all of this was learning that her husband was cheating on her and the pool tech knew. That sucked. From her perspective, if he was in her shoes, he’d be hurt and distrustful too. She was just upset.
“I get it,” he told her. “No problem, you can watch me permanently delete it.” He opened up the ‘Recently Deleted’ folder on his phone as she leaned in to look, only for his stomach to cramp as he discovered just how many deleted selfies filled the rows ahead of the video. No dick pics thank fuck but still, it was embarrassing for her to see three rows of him posing in the bathroom without a shirt –he’d been trying to get a good one for his dating profile, ok?--, and he tried to cover them subtly with his fingers as he quickly tapped the video and then ‘Permanently Delete’ before it could begin to play. Too late did he realize how close she was standing, and that she smelled like something fresh and clean and mildly floral, and that her loose top had slid down her shoulder.
She pulled away and crossed her arms and nodded as she said, “Thank you.” She must have seen the photos but didn’t give any sign of it.
“Yeah, no problem.”
“I mean for telling me, too. I know it’s… awkward. It’s easier to mind your own business when it’s something uncomfortable but I’m glad that I know now. So thank you for telling me but now please forget that you know.”
“Yeah of course, I don’t know anything. I hope you get to keep your house in the divorce and I’ll keep the pool looking great.” He meant it as a joke, kind of. He was serious about it, but he hoped the tone shift could free them both from this moment that was even beyond awkward. Sustained emotionality wore him out. Guarding the wharf was easier than this for sure.
“I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” she said with utmost seriousness, with a shake of her head as if the idea was an annoying fly buzzing in her ear.
“Uh… what? How can you not know? The guy’s cheating on you, so leave his ass and wring him dry in the divorce,” he scoffed. As if he knew all about it! But it was just such an obvious next step, he couldn’t fathom she would do anything else. Good riddance to the fuckwad!
The effect on her was immediate: her hands dropped and she leaned away and got this scowl on her face that would have been sexy as hell if she hadn’t been almost defending that guy.
“It’s not that simple.”
“It is that simple.”
“It’s not. Marriage is complicated, especially one like ours, it’s not always easy and–”
“Well he pissed on that marriage when he started fucking other people, didn’t he?”
“How dare you?” The sexiness evaporated from her glare as it hardened, as his own words caught up to him.
“Fuck, sorry, I know it’s not my business–” He held his hands up, choosing to apologize even though in his gut he wanted to say more. See? He was bad at this! He really just wanted to comfort her and instead he was fucking it up because he just couldn’t stand to hear her insist there was anything salvageable about that wad of snot.
“You’re right, it’s not. Thank you for telling me about what’s going on but that’s where your judgment ends. You don’t know anything about us or our life or–”
“You’re right, I don’t. I do know he’s a piece of shit though and that you deserve better.”
“And how many times have you been married, since you’re such an expert on marital conflict–”
“Zero times,” he answered. “But when I do get married, I sure won’t treat my wife the way that asshole treats you. You’ve been apologizing for his shit since I started cleaning your pool and I may be just the pool guy but I see all kinds of people and I know a piece of shit when I see one. Whatever you think is worth staying married to him for, you’re wrong. That’s all I know. So whatever, you can report me to my boss and I can have someone else come clean your pool now or whatever but yeah, you’re better off without him.”
“Well thank you for not leaving that sage wisdom in a cryptic package on my doorstep this time,” she snapped.
Jungkook knew he’d gone too far. He’d stepped completely into their bullshit. He couldn’t help it! He was typically slow to erupt but good luck once he got going, and he was going now, because this was the 21st century and a woman didn’t need to stay with a fucker like that for anything! And to stand there and have her possibly saying thanks for telling me but I’m going to stay with him, I don’t mind him treating me like gum on his shoe– how was he supposed to silently endorse that!
He was too worked up to think of anything to say back so he just said, “Yeah, you’re welcome. You deserve better.” It was a stupid thing to sound so angry saying. He’d think of something better int he shower later.
“Why, because I give you snacks while you clean our pool? You don’t know anything about me or what kind of person I am, JK. Maybe I did deserve this.”
“No way.”
“But you don’t know!”
If he hadn’t already known it in his gut, he knew it was true now, as the anger on her face wavered and he saw, just for one brief moment, raw grief. For one moment she had that look that in the movies makes a guy take up his sword and march off to war or whatever. She looked like a vulnerable, hurting person, not some rich caricature of a human, and that was exactly why he had stepped into this so far and couldn’t even regret it even if he knew he was making an ass of himself.
Just as quickly it was mostly gone, all except a soft, downward turn of her mouth. She had color on her lips which struck Jungkook as a little strange to have put on after the pool but he supposed Mrs. Birch wanted to always be put together. It was not a helpful train of thought –I could undo her combined with but she’s so sad right now and trying to hide it, isn’t she?-- and he looked away. He didn’t know what else to say. He wasn’t used to this kind of dramatic exchange. He didn’t have stamina for it. Usually if he was fighting with a woman he just let her say her peace and then she left and that was the end, there were only a few times he really got into it.
But telling Mrs. Birch she ought to divorce her husband was worth it.
“I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore,” she admitted with a deep, tired sigh. “I need to go. Thank you for bringing all of this to my attention, but please, forget everything.”
“You got it, boss,” he mumbled. It was awkward. He felt deflated now.
She wasn’t going to leave her husband. That’s what he’d just learned. And the idea that a good woman would stay with a shitty man just flooded him with despair. Romance was dead, marriage was a sham, and there was no justice. His dad had divorced his mom and there were even kids involved, so what did Mrs. Birch think made it so impossible for her? But he didn’t feel like saying that to her now. He felt like he’d just burned what minor threads had connected them, and maybe it had been necessary in order for her to know about her husband, but selfishly he wondered now if it had been worth it. If she wasn’t even going to leave him, maybe she wished Jungkook had just kept his mouth shut. Maybe he should have.
“JK, I…”
He’d never know what she was going to say because after a grimace rolled across her face, she turned and went inside. Leaving him to finish the job he was paid to do, cleaning the fucking pool.
Chapter One | Masterlist | Chapter Three
#jungkook ff#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook x oc#over the falls#jeon jungkook ff#jungkook smut#jungkook series#jungkook au#poolboy jk#jungkook domestic fluff
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Lucien x Reader x Tamlin
Okay this got away from me. I literally just started writing this as a shit post, complaining about the lack of Lucien x Reader x Tamlin content and well then I made a whole smut thing. So here it is for your enjoyment. It’s not proofread because like I said, I wrote this in one sitting like I had to get it out, I’m not even sure it’s any good. Anyway I hope you like it, cuz I do lol I am going to write this all out as like a legit story at some point because it won’t leave my brain but here’s like a rough outline I guess with the fun smut part lol
Lucien x Reader x Tamlin, Lucien x Tamlin, Tamlin x reader, Lucien x reader. Calanmai event, afab reader, reader uses she/her, female sex organs, dirt talk, poly, threesomes. 🔞MINORS DNI🔞
I hate the fact that there are so few Lucien x reader x Tamlin fics. Like I know we all hate Tamlin, and I am not a Tamlin defender, but the blonde bitch has potential. And you KNOW he and Lucien “shared a woman” or just straight up fucked each other, like cmon you don’t live that many years together without fucking at some point.
I mean imagine there was a maid/neighbor/friend in the Archeron house (maid would be after Tamlin had made them rich again) who Feyre spoke to Ianthe about like she was a sister, someone who was close to them and Ianthe mistook her as a sister and had Hybern plop her into the cauldron too!
And what if SUPRISE! She was Lucien’s mate (Elain was Azriel’s and they could be happy together whatever) and she was so excited about it. Was so into him!!! And she has the ability to heal! The Cauldron gave her a gift too.
And eventually Rhysand hires her as the Night Courts head healer or whatever. He trusts her, Feyre loves her already and she is living the bliss life with her mate, Lucien.
Then Rhysand comes back from his monthly Tam Tam visit and is like “if we are gonna win this war we need the spring court to get back on its feet”
No one wants to go over there, I mean who would? But she volunteers. Lucien knows Tamlin, knows how the Spring Court runs and she doesn’t have much trauma with Tamlin (aside from the selling them out to Hybern but by Rhysands description of him, it seems like he gets his boo boo and is hella depressed about it)
Naturally Lucien is like, babe, I love you and I’ll follow you anywhere but wtf? And she is like it’s getting fucking crowded in here and I wanna do something important in this world. So they go to help rebuild the Spring Court.
It’s a mess, lots of manual labor, Tamlin is always in his beast form and rarely speaks to them at first, plus he seems annoyed they’re fucking all over his court.
They finally get everything to a somewhat presentable and manageable place. Tamlin sees his home and the work they both have put in, especially her, and something in him changes.
It all changes totally when one night she gets attacked by a Naga, somehow, idk use your imagination, and Lucien is running towards her but he knows he won’t get there in time. She’s been learning to defend herself but she’s not nearly ready enough for this.
In the last moment suddenly beast Tamlin comes outta no where and kills the Naga, then hovers over her protectively Beauty and the Beast style until Lucien can get to her. There is a moment of thanks and understanding between the three of them and from then on they all seem a bit closer.
They are spending the hours together, all three of them, Lucien remarks to her one night as she lay in his arms that it feels like old times between he and Tamlin. That makes her happy. Her husband (yes they got married at some point idk when) confesses then that he and Tamlin had a VERY CLOSE relationship and the idea intrigues her but she simply lets her husband talk of it what he wants and she doesn’t make anymore comment than necessary. They spend the next few months helping Tamlin come to terms with a lot of what has happened. Turns out she’s not just good at healing physical wounds but can give others the tools to heal their emotional ones.
Soon Tamlin is laughing with them, helping them, he’s finally falling back into his role as High Lord of the Spring Court. Then there is talk of bringing the Calanmai back. The people who have returned to the Spring Court now that it’s back up and doing better want it and if the Spring Court wants tithes they need to offer it.
Lucien’s solution is to be the stand in for Tamlin as he knows his soul will call to his mate. She bites her lip at the idea of her husband filled with this magic making him even more ravenous in bed than he already is. However, Tamlin states he is high lord, he should show his people strength and decides he wants to do it.
When the night comes though, she and her husband are drunk on wine, his hands up roaming her body when Tamlin finds them. She sees the way his eyes look at her and then at Lucien and she knows instantly. It takes her husband a moment to realize, he catches on for Tamlin’s desire for her first and his protectiveness flares. It’s only when he notices the desire for him as well that he understands. He looks to her and she nods her approval.
A heady pleasure fills her and the next thing she knows, she’s being carried by Tamlin into the cave, her husband following behind them. As soon as she is laid on the soft mat, the two Fae men are hovering over her, kissing her body and tearing at her soft red, practically see thru dress. They stop for only a moment and spread her legs, Tamlin slips one finger in her and Lucien does the same. They’ve done this together before, she thinks as they move their fingers inside of her wet heat in tandem. Then Tamlin grabs Lucien’s face, their lips collide and his tongue is diving into his mouth. She nearly comes then and there from the sight of the two men fingering her and making out with one another.
Eventually they’re all three naked and she is flipped over on her hands and knees. Her husband’s cock slips past her lips and she begins to suck. She laves her tongue along the familiar vein on the underside and let’s the drool fall from her lips. Just like he likes it.
Then she feels Tamlin, he’s behind her now, his hands grasp her hips, hard and he slides into her, clearly trying not to hurt her but also trying to keep his desire in check and he begins to pump into her.
“You don’t have to be gentle Tam, she likes it rough” Lucien purrs as he grabs her hair and begins to fuck himself on her mouth. As though his words were all he needed, Tamlin starts a brutal pace, slamming into her over and over, his fingers toying with her clit as he does.
The pleasure is mind numbing. Her husband is praising her, calling her a good girl, talking about how well she takes them. Then he calls to Tamlin “she feels amazing doesn’t she?”
“I’ve never had a pussy as delicious” Tamlin purrs as he watches his cock slide in and out of her “no wonder you moan so loudly every night”
The two men chuckle and slick pours from her. Lucien knows she loves praise, knows how much it gets her going and he’s egging Tamlin on.
“Fuck…you’re such a good girl…I love how you look with my cock around your lips….ah…whatever you want from me my love you can have it” Lucien moans out to her as his cock hits the back of her throat.
She knows him well though, knows how to get him there and soon he’s cumming in her mouth. His hips stutter and his hand in her hair twitches. As the cum fills her mouth she swallows it down. He falls onto his haunches in relief but his erection has not gone down.
Tamlin takes the opportunity and flips her over on her back and then re-enters her. “Finally I can see that fucked out face of yours and these beautiful breasts” he says as he grabs a handful of her breasts and massages them.
He’s been edging her the whole night and she’s a blubbering mess. Moaning out like an animal in heat. However things come to a whole new level as she watches her husband come up behind Tamlin and force him down on his hands. Tamlin’s pace slows till he stops, still inside of her as he lifts her hips to follow him as he presents his ass to Lucien.
She watches in awe as her husband sides into Tamlin and the two men groan in pleasure. Tamlin sits up his back to Lucien’s chest and they kiss, tongues tangling as Lucien begins to move his hips. In turn Tamlin’s hips move into her. Then Tamlin returns his attention to her breasts as he wraps his lips around one and Lucien’s hand comes around Tamlin’s shoulder to grasp the other.
Tamlin had picked up his pace in fucking her as Lucien fucks him. She doesn’t last long though and comes hard, screaming. Tamlin continues to fuck her through her orgasm and the sensitivity. Lucien’s hips are working in time as well.
Then Tamlin captures her lips and kisses her like he kissed Lucien. His tongue chases after hers and she hears Lucien moan at the sight and feels him start fucking into Tamlin harder. They both cum not long after that, Tamlin’s seed leaks out of her and Lucien’s out of him but they’re back at it again not a few moments later.
They keep like this for hours. She peaks so many times she looses track. Eventually she passes out, tucked between the two Fae men. Her back pressed against Lucien’s tucked into him like always and Tamlin’s head resting under her chin, his body pressed against her front and arms wrapped around her waist.
She wakes in she and Lucien’s bed with the two men. She starts to move but stops, her whole body is sore and tense. It seems in her waking she woke Lucien as well.
He kisses her head “good morning my love”
“Good morning, my mate” she hums happily.
She looks down at the blonde man resting between her breasts and then to her mate. “Can we keep him, Lu?”
He chuckles at her words and nods “if he wishes to be kept yes.” Lucien then tightens his grip on her nuzzling into her hair “He chose us last night because we are the only ones he truly trusts. I do not want us to do anything to break that trust.”
She nodded at his words knowing their true meaning “then it will be his choice”
Lucien hummed in agreement.
“I’d like to be kept”
The voice startled her and she looked down to see an awake Tamlin. “I want to be kept by you both” he said nuzzling between her breasts and pressing his body against hers.
“Then it’s settled” Lucien smiled “we will need to set some ground rules, boundaries and such, she is my mate so there will be a nature inclination for her to favor me and me, her but…”
“I think we will be very happy together” she smiled, like she’s just won the greatest prize and kissed the top of Tamlin’s head, then turned to kiss Lucien deeply.
They sat in bed like that for a bit, hands wandering, caressing and giving soft kisses.
“I think our goddess needs a hot bath” Lucien finally said “you’re probably very sore”
She giggled “happy but yes, very sore”
“Well that will not do.” Tamlin smiled as he kissed her neck. “I’ll go make you a bath, Lucien can carry you to it.”
“I’ll carry you anywhere you want, my love” Lucien whispered in her ear and then bit down on the top.
“Lu, be gentle” she all but moaned.
“Yes my lady” he smiled and kissed where he’d bitten.
“let’s get you in that bath” Tamlin said as he stood and made his way to the bathroom.
“Only if you both join me” she smirked.
“As you wish” Tamlin chuckled and Lucien pulled her in for a tight hug.
Yes, she would be very happy.
#ACOTAR#Lucien x reader x Tamlin#Tamlin x lucien x reader#Tamlin x reader#Lucien x reader#Tamlin x lucien#acotar smut#acotar spoilers#ACOTAR oc
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FNaF 4 general headcanons
Nightmare
Not only is he introverted, he's also anti-social as fuck
Will leave in the middle of a conversation just to confuse the other
If he doesn't like someone he will only act sarcastic around them
He and Fredbear are bros and he mostly ineracts with him
The type of person to ask for a coffee that's black like their soul
Has tried on multiple occasions to teach BB swear words and give Foxy and Jack-o-Bonnie the fault
Fredbear
He's not introverted but also won't try to seek a conversation every 5 minutes
Loves to tease others but doesn't do that very often
Tends to sneeze so loud he can almost be heard on the street
Is secretly a fan of tea but drinks coffee openly because he thinks he wouldn't be scary anymore
Nightmare Freddy
He's a dad, literally, but a chaotic and tired one
Sometimes he can be a great dad, like plays with the freddles, and other times he just acts like he's dead and let's the freddles ruin the place
Drinks a lot of black coffee but actually favors something more sweet
Likes talking and joking with the other nightmares but sometimes can't find the energy to (same dude)
He takes bets on which freddle wins the daily fist fight with Bonnie and Jack-o-Bonnie/Chica
Nightmare Bonnie
Bro can be your bestie or he's annoying af, no in between
Can't be silent for 10 seconds, be it making a funny/stupid comment, random chuckling or playing with his claws
Hates vacuum cleaners and noone knows why exactly
Is a big fan of TV shows and hogs the TV remote
Nightmare Chica
Extroverted but also tends to be creepy
Like she sometimes just stands there and stres or stops in the middle of a sentence
Is very sassy and doesn't care who stands infront of her
Is always in the kitchen or the living room
She and Foxy hang out in the closet or in a attic and gossip a little
Nightmare Foxy
The angrier he get's the thicker his accent gets until noone can understand what the fuck he's saying
Cusses a lot but watches it when plushtrap is around
Can't understand how a stove works somehow and ends up eating a frozen pizza
Sarcasm is his second language and he sometimes doesn't know when to stop
Plushtrap
Has way too much energy
He's got that wierd neighbors kid energy
He and the freddles cause a lot of havoc
Lears a lot of swear words but doesn't really know when to use them
Is a big fan of chocolate and bites anyone in the ankle when they have some
Is often left on high spaces like the fridge or counter but he just jumps down and doesn't care
Nightmare Ballon Boy
He randomly giggles in his sleep wich creeps even the nightmares out
Is bratty but can be sweet if he wants to
Loves cake and muffins, give him a cake pop and he will loose his shit
He can be given cola, unlike plushtrap, and nothing will happen
Is deeply scared of the nap time spray
Jack-o-Bonnie
Has a very macabre sense of humor
Has a very raspy and deep laugh which wierd everyone out except Jack-o-Chica
He and Jack-o-Chica are chaotic siblings that yell at each other but don't take shit from others
Steals BB's chocolate and blames Plushtrap when asked
Jack-o-Chica
Momma didn't raise no bitch, and yes it was Jack-o-Bonnie
She loves to laugh and tease, sometimes she makes a flirty remark but that's rare
She's a little aggressive but also caring in her own wierd way
She steals hair clips and pillows for no fucking reason
Made it her goal to scare everyone but made it even harder by setting the rule that no one is allowed to see her prank others
Nightmare Mangle
They sleep at least 12 hours a day but they aren't sleepy, she's just tired of everything
Still hangs around Puppet a lot
Loves lollipops and asks Plushtrap if he can get them some in exchange for helping in setting up a prank
Watches how the nightmares argue and fight, thinks it's amusing
Nightmare Puppet
They are almost always in bed or in some kind of attic
Reads a lot and draws sometimes
Leaves gifts for the nightmares no matter if they where rude that day or not
Seems like they are always laid back and kind but there's always that wierd vibe they have that puts some at unease
#FNaF#fnaf 4#nightmare#nightmare fredbear#nightmare freddy#nightmare chica#nightmare balloon boy#nightmare Puppet#nightmare mangle#jack-o-Chica#jack-o-Bonnie#plushtrap#nightmare foxy#nightmare marionette
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DC review?
spoilers for disventure camp all stars episode 9: slip & sly!
(but you knew that.)
the episode was rather boring until the elimination. so let’s get into it:
yul is being a bitch and somehow still not paying for it,
alec is just getting more unlikeable,
tom and jake are little babies who cannot communicate their feelings and their arc just consists of repeating the phrases “i don’t want to be hurt again” and “it’s too late now” and it’s driving me crazy not because i want them back together but because they are pissing me off more and more by the moment, their drama always gets in the way when it could be solved so easily, they overshadow every arc and they are the reason so many scenes barely hit, they are the reason we got so little of james and aiden and the reason the ellie elimination was so underwhelming, BY GOD, WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST FUCKING VOTED FOR TOM OH MY GOD
ally and jake are annoying,
i couldn’t care less about ashley,
why is trevor into the guy who takes any chance to verbally abuse him,
oh my god this show is out of ideas.
side note that i have been curious about for months since i got into DC but how the fuck do these people survive just off fish and fruit and how do they not constantly shit themsves???
anyways we get a slip and slide because summer camp. and magenta team wins because they’re the only team with three players. because disventure camp (and total drama) logic.
the elimination is the most fun thing of the episode and genuinely had me on the edge of my seat. the realization cyan team has that they have lost gabby, grett and gabby actually getting along, VILLAIN GABBY!!!
it was super entertaining to see gabby get her revenge but... i wish she had voted for tom instead (even though the show clearly gives he and jake plenty of plot armor because god forbid they rid those fans of their precious toxic yaoi) because... well it’s tom. fuck tom
this episode and its elimination alone are probably the most entertainment we have gotten out of disventure camp since episode 6. finally there is some actual strategy instead of petty drama - though there is also plenty of that (jake and aiden/ally shut the FUCK UP challenge LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE!!!)
looking forward to yul, jake, tom and just to be petty, ally, being voted off
gonna start rating episodes also, so this one gets a 6/10 on the geo scale. give us more actual likeability from these characters please i am so tired of rooting for just grett and gabby
#asks#my asks#disventure camp#disventure camp all stars#disventure camp spoilers#campamento desventura#odd nation cartoons
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Playing among us
Gojo Satoru
the troll
A fucking menace
Always white obviously
Likes to annoy everybody
Makes emergency meetings when the game starts just started to say “hi”
Everybody just pretty much agrees to ignore his body if he dies in the game
Never does his tasks
Fucks around (goofy way)
Has made sukuna rage quit so many times
Is the type to kill u when ur doing the downloading task or a long task and just fucking kills u when ur *ALMOST* done.
Sees imposter kill somebody and after imposter leaves, he runs in circles as if he is dancing on the body. Basically like “L bozo imagine getting killed, cant relate 🤣🤣”
10x worse as imposter
Hes so annoying that everyone is starting to think about ejecting him out when the game starts
Megumi Fushiguro
The detective and big brain of the group
Uses Dark blue or Black
Smart and a hassle to handle when ur imposter
Literally overthinks every possible scenarios and always goes into the safest spot to do tasks or just sit around after doing tasks
Takes the game too seriously that everyone is getting concerned for him
If u dont get rid of him immediately he will get u outta the space ship after 1-2 emergency meetings
Always somehow gets medbay scan task or any task that shows innocence
10x smarter as imposter, always have a plan b for plan b.
Naturally wins most games
Yuuji Itadori
Clueless but gets imposter 90% of the time
Bro only kills people that did a single bad thing in amongus, or kills ppl who got imposter and killed everybody last round and avenges everybody even though nobody asked
Always pink, nobara strangles him for it
Sometimes purposely rat their imposter friend out and acts innocent out of pure boredom like “how do u vent like sukuna?” Then everybody votes the person he framed
Sometimes a troll
On rare occasions where he becomes crewmate, he is always the 2nd person to die in the game
Nobara Kugisaki
Rarely gets to use the color pink and when she doesnt get pink, she chooses the brown one and adds bear ears to look cute, and adds more accessories to look fashionable
Girlboss model
Canonically good in video games but gets annoyed easily, 2nd detective except with anger issues
When imposter, she mostly kills Itadori because she didnt get the color she wanted. #pettyasf
Sometimes when she is VERY pissed at itadori and kills him, 50 percent of the time she bursts out laughing while itadori is like “fuck u bitch�� and gets voted out of the space ship
Curses regularly when playing among us especially when doing the card swipe task like “come on u fucking useless card swiper, FUCK YO- oh, there”
Extra:
Ryomen Sukuna
Rage quitter
Ironically gets crewmate 90% of the time
Also pink
Bullies itadori when he dies but gets mad when somebody points out he also died
Curses regularly #2
Also a troll but mostly rage quitter
Almost broke itadori’s phone when doing swiping card task
Is the body that gojo dances around when he dies and would strangle gojo if he had the chance to
Annoys megumi and tries to distract him because he just can
Kento Nanami
“Doesnt play” because he thinks its childish + gojo & sukuna is there (still plays it)
Always yellow with the sunglasses and suit. (yes he bought it for fashion)
Detective number 2
Better than nobara but at the same time not
When he dies and gojo also dies coincidentally. Gojo spams cringe jokes and spams penis to annoy nanami and just for fun
Sukuna verbally bullies nanami for dying but nanami is more annoyed than pissed.
Overthinker number 2
Takes game seriously (unironically and ironically)
When imposter, he kills gojo and megumi. Gojo because hes a menace and an annoying piece of shit & an asshole. Megumi because hes smart.
Says he doesnt care about winning but ironically takes the game seriously (secretly likes winning)
this was fun to write
Last updated
24th February,2023
#headcanons#among us#jjk#jjk headcanons#jjk imagines#jjk nobara#jjk gojo#jjk itadori#sukuna#jjk megumi#jjk sukuna#crack#shitpost#silly goofy mood#goofy ahh#goofy
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random idea what characters do you think the team would main in smash bros
Scout:
I feel like he’s the kind of guy who has like 4,000 hours in smash, knows all of the terminology, and still gets his ass whooped by a newbie. in other words, absolute tryhard. refuses to play on any ruleset other than 3 stock 7 minutes OMEGA stage (that kind of bitch) but he usually ends up playing with the rest of the team on their horrible rulesets anyway because he’s desperate for someone to play with
that said, I could very easily see him either maining someone easy and stupid like Meta Knight (and he knows the combos and the tech but that doesn’t stop him from literally only using side B and Dair ever), or someone harder and stupid like Ness and he tries to do the combos but his fingers don’t bend that way.
either way he always loses.
he commentates his own gameplay way too loudly with all of the awesome techniques he’s using and he’s not actually doing any of them he’s just making shit up to sound cooler (he does not sound cooler)
favorite stage is any omega stage. not even battlefield. OMEGA. it’s really disappointing.
Soldier:
CAPTAIN FALCON. who the hell else. do I even need to elaborate
spends the entire game on one side of the stage falcon punching and hoping someone gets caught in the crossfire. surprisingly effective at KO’ing Scout
not sure about the favorite stage. I’m not sure he can even see the screen. he thinks Umbra Clocktower is cool on concept, though, because it looks like a piece of the Big Ben is hurtling through the sky like someone blew it up and, well, you know how he feels about England.
Pyro:
King Dedede. Pastel alt. Actually pretty good, but if the team plays with items on (which is almost always unless Scout picks the ruleset) they’re usually single-handedly focused on grabbing items and using them since they’re fun to play with.
favorite stage is Magicant. they like the bird guy.
Demo:
he thought Bayonetta looked cool.
that’s it.
he can hold his own. he’s competent. he knows how to recover with her and everything. for some reason every time he spikes someone with down smash (which is a lot because everybody he’s playing against isn’t really that sure how to play the game) he yells “THE BOOOOOOT” really loud and starts scream-laughing and it’s endearing about twice and then is just kind of annoying
the drunker he is the better he is at the game. it’s some unwritten law of Demo
favorite stage is Jungle Japes. he likes pushing people into the river underneath it’s really funny
Heavy:
doesn’t know any of the characters and is not remotely consistent in his choice. he usually picks heavyweights because he likes… the weight. of the character and the attacks. I think he’s especially fond of goofy ones like Incineroar and King K. Rool though because they’re funny to him
if he accidentally chooses a character like K. Rool, he doesn’t really bother with projectiles. honestly in the end of it he probably just spams dash and smash attacks and isn’t sure how to jump and somehow this strategy works a lot. I don’t think he ever uses specials. all that is there to him is the left stick and the A button.
his favorite stage is Gaur Plain. absolute hell to navigate with most heavyweights but he doesn’t care. he thinks it’s pretty
Engineer:
D K. DONKEY KONG. D K. DONKEY KONG IS H
too much dad energy to not play DK. like, I was considering putting in Pac-Man or some character you’d need his IQ to play properly but… c’mon. he plays DK. just look at him.
unlike Scout, knows the terms and techs and stuff and actually uses them. could wipe anyone’s ass single-handedly, but he usually wins once or twice at the start of any session and then mysteriously gets way worse at the game (he’s letting everybody else win:))
one time Demo accused him of holding back though and that was not a fun night for anyone except Engy. he’s out there pulling shit off no pro’s ever dreamed of with DK. his brain’s forty steps ahead at all times. if he put his mind to it he could be one of the best players in the world but to be frank a lil’ video game’s not really at the forefront of his mind. maybe later.
favorite stage is… also Jungle Japes, for the exact same reason as Demo
Medic:
absolute force of chaos. picks a character at random and then proceeds to button-mash into the most dogshit strategy ever conceived. wins a surprising amount. is notable for taking the only win anyone’s ever gotten in a 1v1 against Engy, somehow taking the title with Inkling and a lot of blatant roller spam.
you know what they say: can’t read someone who isn’t thinking.
(Engy was doing slightly worse than usual and decided to let him win, for the record, but that’s between us.)
favorite stage is 75m because he heard Scout complaining about it a few times and wants to watch him suffer.
Sniper:
he thinks King K. Rool is cute.
perfectly content to stand on one side of the stage and press the B button until he inevitably gets knocked off, forgets how to recover, and dies. one of the most boring smash players you will ever watch. sometimes he gets fed up and goes oouygghhgh time to pull out the big guy they’ll all regret this and then he plays Kirby and spams up B until someone figures out how to jump and hit him off the stage and he dies again. to be honest it’s a little upsetting.
he likes omega stages because they’re flat and projectiles travel over them easier. it’s slightly less upsetting than why Scout picks omega stages, but barely.
Spy:
refuses to play smash. at all. he will NOT entertain your childish games, thank you very much.
(sometimes Scout gets him to play late at night when everyone else is asleep or slowly rotting away in their workshop/laboratory. he plays Sheik, a combo-heavy character that “requires skill”. he’s not good at it, but Scout isn’t either. Scout still takes most of the games. Spy doesn’t mind it, but keep that between us.)
why would he have a favorite stage? he wouldn’t touch that filth.
#posted by bungus#the team plays on time items on exclusively btw it’s tragic#tf2#tf2 whole team#scout#soldier#pyro#demoman#heavy#engineer#medic#sniper#spy#anon
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Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)
Season 1, Episode 23: It Takes Real Lions
Season 1, Episode 24: Raid of Alien Mice
Episode 23: It Takes Real Lions
I keep noticing how lotor has this chiseled jaw, man they really wanted to make this man seem attractive huh
He's being smart at least, training a robeast by letting him fight 5 robot cats that look WAY sleeker than the actual lions
not that the flashback of Zarkon agrees with it
The team is doing some training too though, glad to know they're always prepared
Break time! They're going swimming in the lake nearby the castle, using blue as a launching dock
Allura swims too! The boys are stunned they're seeing her in a bikini but nonetheless watch her pretty cool dive,,, except she loses her top and once she finds that out she's not happy about it
Neither are Nanny and Coran when they find out she skipped her lessons just to be out swimming in what Nanny deems as Incorrect Clothing,, I know she's doing her job, but MAN IS SHE ANNOYING
I love every screenshot we get of Pidge using Hunk as a pillow, what a duo
Back into her room Allura goes, apparently she can speak at least 50 languages and is studying to learn even more, overachieving to the max
Though she's falling behind in her studies, I mean her planet IS at war, so I'd expect a little slack yknow, but not like Coran or Nanny care because they'd rather her not be fighting in it in the first place
A weird light starts coming down to Arus and Coran figures out it's Lotor, obvs the boys set off to stop him but leave Allura behind because "it's too dangerous for her"
motherfucker HOW, it's the same shit each time, I feel like you know how bad it gets when there's only 4 lions out fighting but no ig you gotta do it for the DRAMA
The boys get fucked up by the robeast lotor sent out as expected and he knows that Allura isn't out fighting, so he goes to kidnap her from her room which luckily for him is locked because NANNY WANTED HER TO FOCUS ON HER STUDIES
This woman good god,,, she couldn't have predicted it but holy crap I hate her with a passion
A couple of guards and Coran get to her in time though, and she runs off to go help the boys while Coran tells her it's too late to do so
I WONDER WHO'S FUCKING FAULT THAT IS HUH, GOD IS NO NON-COMBATANT SIDE CHARACTER LIKABLE IN THIS SHOW??
Voltron forms and after some struggle the team wins of course, look I have no idea what kind of message they were trying to send, but apparently it was "Allura can be a princess and fly a lion at the same time" which is fucking stupid BECAUSE SHE NEVER WORRIED ABOUT THAT, IT WAS CORAN AND NANNY CAUSING PROBLEMS AGAIN
I hate them so much you guys
/episode end
Episode 23: Raid of The Alien Mice
Shooting stars! Except they're hitting the surface of Arus,,, and they're actually pods for weird mutated mice,,
They set off the alarms too, the boys are convinced the mice or some of their friends set them off, Allura not so much
Ah cartoon logic,,, a mouse can't chew through metal or set off a bomb in the castle, but somehow they're still definitely at fault for setting off the alarm
Once again reminding me that I'm not the target audience, so it just means it's hard to watch
The boys end up searching the generator room anyway after another shortage, finally seeing that the culprits aren't the mice they know, but killer ones instead
Also, Hunk pries open a closed automatic door, apparently he lifts weights, which isn't surprising, but I'm glad the show mentioned it and didn't make him out as entirely lazy
Confirmation that they came from planet Doom, those bitches are always the root of problems
These mutant mice are literally melting doors and cameras now, horrifyingly affective, one of the mice (chitter) volunteers to find them so Allura puts a tracking collar on him before he goes, how cute
The team and the mice find the freaky little guys BUT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SHOOT AT THEM TO TAKE DOWN THEIR NUMBERS THEY JUST LET THEM THROUGH TO THE MAIN COMPUTER WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO
also a robeast got sent out, so Keith leaves Allura and Pidge to guard but not like it helps because the other three can't even get to their lions in the first place
Chitter plays bait and fools the mutant mice into leaving since Pidge and Allura can't reach where they are
so first chitter can't take them alone, but now he can? great
the guy really couldn't fight,, after getting punched out he finally leads the enemies out and Pidge shoots them on sight, as they should've done in the first place
the other boys are running to their lions on foot, almost dying in the process ofc, when Pidge and Allura are finally able to get into their own from the castle
a wasted trip because they got to pick up the boys and drop them off at the castle again,, couldn't you have dropped them off directly at their lions lair? no? ok i guess
After the team all regroups and defeats the robeast as voltron, allura treats the mice to some of the best cheese in the castle's pantry, which pidge immediately tries to take a chunk of even though chitter bats him away from it, twice
kind of anticlimactic honestly, wish we got more to see with the team actually doing something against the mice and not fighting a random robeast at the end
/episode end
#voltron#voltron defender of the universe#voltron dotu#80s voltron#let's rewind!#toast talks#once again on my anti nany and coran agenda#might make an OC to replace coran because WHY IS HE ACTING AS SECURITY#HE'S AN ADVISOR#gonna kick is ass in TWO universes
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ok if i don’t ask i’m going to go insane forever. GRABS YOU . TELL ME ABOUT THESE GAY LITTLE OCS
UAAHWBABSNENSBFNSNGBDNDBFMSDBRB FUCK OKAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
might throw up forever trying to formulate this in a. coherent way but I'LL TRY !!!!!!!!!!
ok uhehdhrjtkg i currently have 7 named ocs, those being ruby, java, python, swift, c+, vysel, and requiem. yes ik the first five are named after programming languages it doesn't mean anything though HEJSBRJSJFJDKGNG uh. i will try to be brief with them because i could honestly sit here forever talking about them and i actually wanna answer this ask so. L
uuhhshdhdhb first up is ruby!!!! she's like. the main character. along with java :3 she's very very sweet and makes friends w pretty much anyone (in fact 2 of her 3 best friends at the moment are people she literally found on the street and was like you. me. friends. NOW) she cares so much and she has so much compassion but she wears her heart out on her sleeve all the time and she. I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE'S EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEEEE
and w her is java !! java's like. the co-main character and she's very lowkey, esp next to ruby LOL she's also ever so slightly bitchy and blunt sometimes but i promise it's the autism and the Troubled Childhood you gotta believe me . she is also very gay for women and is absolutely pining over ruby <333333 (they get together by the end though so it's okay LOVE WINS 🎉🎉🎉)
uhhhhhh next is python and he's an asshole forever . but real talk it's the assigned funnyman of the group but in the condescending n annoying way but IT'S A FACADE he actually cares so much about its friends forever and can be mature and wise when he needs to but it BURIES its FEELINGS in SARCASM!!!!!!!! (and maybe violence) also he's 8'3" cuz suprise it was a god at one point who forfeited its god powers to be a human . that's also why his eyes n teeth r bright yellow and he has strange markings everywhere lol oops
and next is swift !!!!!! sky's the dogsitter of the entire universe good for them LMAO she's still a god and used to be work partners/best friends w python before he fucking Left but let's not worry about that <333333 anyways she's very calm and elegant and they always put the interests of others before skyself whcih . uh . can be a good or bad trait depending on how you look at it but sky's trying SO HARD leave them alone . also they like to be alone a lot and they would play the flute and read books if skies role in the universe allowed them to have Hobbies
next is c+!! that's not his actual name i promise it's a nickname because he doesn't like ppl knowing his actual name . he's definitely the least plot relevant of the seven but he's still so silly 2 me <3 he's that character trope of a guy who's somehow done Everything and worked Every Job Ever but can't hold down any of them so he just pulls random anecdotes about his internship at NASA out his ass and no one believes him (least of all his good buddy java) but he also has a lot going on under the surface . which is preddy neat :3c
then there's vysel. i hate him so much. blond hair blue eyes son of a bitch . he's a former swing turned alt rock artist who got popular for being hot and shippable i guess . also he's a reanimated corpse piloted by evil spirits but shhhh no one knows that (though it would probably add to his sex appeal if ppl did know . so.) he's like the biggest bitch forever and ever he is very celebritycore mentally i'm ripping him apart with my teeth . he uses his visual illusion powers TO GIVE HIMSELF BLOND HAIR BLUE EYES WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uhhh and then finally requiem !!!!!! they're very socially closed off and hates talking to like. Anyone and Everyone. including their parents i mean what . they wear fucking only black and white clothing and their hair is Also black and white and it's like bro get a better wardrobe got DAMN!!!!!!!@!@@!@@!! they don't really become relevant until the "second season" because i like to think of my own story as like. a tv show . because i'm just like that but when they do they become VERY important cuz they're kinda the whole reason ruby and java were involved in this story . the narrative plagues their being with every second that they breathe. they will never be free.
UHHH YAH THAT'S MAINLY PERSONALITY WISE because if i sat talking about their roles in the story or their relationships with each other past the surface level or god forbid their backstories i'd be here for 8 billion years so. YIPPEE ^_^
#ruby#java#python#swift#c+#vysel#requiem#i care about them SO MUCH. BONK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME FOREVER AND EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also sorry i had to. break for setting the table and eating dinner. THE MISERY !!!#i hope ur still awake LMFAO
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Can you list the romantic and/or sexual relationships with other muses and tell us something about about why are you shipping with them and how does this relationship look like? :)
Romantic?? No, no, no. Nothing like that here.
Well... maybe with one person. Though I kind of answered it here and here.
HOWEVER. I'd much rather talk about PLATONIC relationships, especially the one I have with Kuzuryuu.
He's someone I look up to. We disagree on many things, especially when it comes to games and he's all about making them fair while I'm... not. Kuzuryuu has very clearly established moral principles and I feel like I lost mine along the way. I just don't even know anymore what I believe in, if anything.
But Kuzuryuu has stuck to my side through thick and thin. Whenever I feel particularly lost, I come to him for guidance and he offers really good insight. At the end of the day, I think he trusts that I can somehow turn my life around and find peace before... well, before someone wins my game. And I'm extremely grateful for the fact that he hasn't given up on me yet.
OOC: below the cut is a scene I wrote between the two of them that I wanted to share, with Soma coming to him because of an issue and Kuzuryuu gently guiding him. Tagging @diamond-attorney-keiichi
“Hey,” says Soma, as he enters the room and sits on Kuzuryuu’s bed. Kuzuryuu, sitting on the chair by his desk with an open book between his hands, first peers at him above his glasses and then closes the book, setting it on the table and turning his chair to look at Soma. He doesn't look annoyed by his presence there, then again, he never does, so he can't tell if he's simply become used to it by now or he just doesn't mind interruptions.
“Hello,” he greets. “No patients today?”
“I already finished for the day. What are you reading?”
“Crime and Punishment,” he replies, and Soma scoffs. He’s reread that at least three times since they’d met each other, and it was by no means a short novel. He's never quite understood his obsession with it, though.
“You’re always reading that. Kinda makes me consider picking it up. Would I like it?”
Kuzuryuu’s lips curve into a slight smile, amused. “No. You’d probably think Raskolnikov is ‘a whiny bitch’, in your words.”
“You think? Why?”
“Raskolnikov believes that extraordinary people are above the moral law and kills an old woman to prove he is one of them, though he ends ups killing her sister too. Then he spends the rest of the novel feeling guilty about it to the point of falling victim to illness and delirium, and ends up turning himself in.”
“Yeah, a whiny bitch. Who would I like, then?”
“Based on what you’ve told me about your experience as a medical student, I’d say you’d enjoy Kafka. He wrote a book where Poseidon, the greek god of the seas, is so busy with paperwork every day that he has never once seen his own domains, and finds this perfectly normal. And his most famous book, Metamorphosis, is about a boy who wakes up transformed in a cockroach, and-“
“I know Metamorphosis,” he interrupts brusquely, but Kuzuryuu seems unphased.
“And did you like it?”
“I- I said I knew about it,” he replies, defensively. “I’ve never read it.”
“Well then,” says Kuzuryuu, with an affable smile and a tone that lacks judgement. “If it ever piques your interest, you can take it from my room.”
“I actually didn’t come here to talk about books,” says Soma, and before he can continue, Kuzuryuu lets out a small laugh, deep and gravelly and unmistakably fond.
“Excuse my laughter, but when have you ever?”
“Shut up.” Soma isn’t the biggest bookworm, a fact that for some reason amuses Keiichi to no end. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
Kuzuryuu nods, encouraging him to continue.
“Did you find my game too predictable? The maze one”
Kuzuryuu furrows his brow and leans forward. “I helped you make that one specifically. Why would I help you produce something I believe to be bad?”
Soma sighs. Sometimes it took asking the same thing twenty times before Keiichi decided to give a coherent answer instead of going around in circles. Lawyer habits, he thought. “Okay, I can rephrase the question if you’re going to be difficult about it. Do you think my games are predictable? Should I be making them harder?”
“Why would you want to make them harder? Since when has your objective been to kill more people in your games?”
“You’re twisting up my words now,” protests Soma. “I never said I wanted to kill more people. Just wondering if I should make them more challenging.”
“More challenging games means less chances of survival for the players,” countered Kuzuryuu. “The maze game was the 4 of hearts, if I recall correctly. It’s a low difficulty game, so why would you want to make it intentionally harder than it should be?”
“Because… okay, don’t laugh,” he starts, pointing a finger at him as Kuzuryuu feigns an innocent expression. “Today, this girl told me my game had been ‘too obvious’, that it had been clear from the start that the animal sounds were a recording, and, in her words, ‘whoever designed it did an awful job’. So, I don’t know if-“
He’s interrupted by an actual laugh this time, one that makes Kuzuryuu’s chest heave and causes him to have to take off his glasses. It would be nice to witness if only he wasn’t so annoyed. “I’m sorry, Soma, is this about impressing a girl?”
“No! You’ve got it all wrong.”
“About your ego, then.”
There’s a pause, because it might be about exactly that, but now Soma doesn’t feel like admitting it. “I’m going to stop coming to you for advice,” he says instead, a threat they both know is empty. “It’s not worth the headache I get afterwards.”
“Of course,” replies Kuzuryuu, nodding. “No one’s forcing you to do that. You can always come to talk about other things. Books, perhaps?”
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this bitch is proof that autistic people can be fucking awful
i fucking hate this whore. he gives me purely ugly options in decoration, with an average of one(1) good looking decoration per area. and when you finally settle for the least ugly set, it makes it so its impossible to make the area match itself. I used to be able to skip his clapping, now he forces me to listen to it. "everyone has their bad days" he says, after i lose on the third day of trying to win a singular stage. he even now is able to tell when I dont have my sound on, and annoys me with shit like "awfully beautiful sounds in this garden today. maybe you should turn your audio on so you could enjoy them.". and everytime I lose a stage and dont pay to continue, he shows the worst things to encourage me to instead pay the 900 coins. ill have like a 4 stack power up that you'll lose if you fail a stage, and he'll tell me about the 26 apples that im going to miss out on. he reinforces every river bank, and somehow always makes them look less natural. even in the fucking magic area. they always end up looking like some minecraft blocky ass banks.
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SEPTEMBER 6TH HORROR WATCH
The Deep Ones (2021)
I think white people doing love craft could be a fatal error but here we are
Okay strangers
Okay not strangers 🙄🙄
Miscarriage
"old world"
It's annoying when they comedically play what should just be a normal sex between partners
Like do fun and flirty or do sexy
This lets comedically film normal is not now nor has never been it
It's like when marvel stomps on every joke
Miscarriage trauma and the guy is whatever's about it
Not surprisingly the woman is already cast in black with a vague whore stamp cause she had sex but failed to produce a baby so WHORE even in marriage and trying for one
Alien
And preggers
Very clear mystical pregnancy
Normal depiction of boobs is good if there's equal opportunity treatment for men...
More eggs
This an air b n b?
Hallucinations
Just making up shit, just peak men shit
6AfuckingM
Bruh you didn't wake ha?
Make sure to apologize for being a frigid bitch for not having sex post miscarriage
Out of the boat alone
Call in for doc / sleeping plotting against her
Trident lore 🔱
Oh sis is preggers too
Luddite commune
Was Lovecraft also anti tech punk ass too?
Journey
The light
Lol he doesn't know what fucking Cthulhu is 🤣🤣
Hypnosis already
Being on your knees before a woman is inherently degrading but also to make it clear we are going to have a guy there behind him and do some tentacle penetration
Full robes of course the woman is bleeding preggars in pain and simulated Cthulhu sexual assault 🙄
White guy is chosen by Cthulhu
Eggs 🙄clams🙄
Candid camera
Doc dropped by lol old school
Sis finally let's her guard down because the doc knows some acupressure after being the only one with common sense
But they always hobble a woman by preggers or other ailments
Lol doc got a home lab?
Missing woman
The not believed "crazy" she said ACAB
How u tell somebody business like that?
She said why don't you do a welfare check on her steada bothering me
Fishy 🤣
What's with the universally poor application of lipstick
Got the light
Sinister very male response to truth from women and excuses
Lol preggers fetish
Gills
Echolocation
Tentacles got our town nutter
She knows
You already brought her to us
Jasmine awaits
This lady isn't door a poor job acting necessarily but she's off.. somehow
Now another scripture
Party time
This is the fifth time they have said his name and I'm sorry I'm too dumb i don't understand the reference
AA welcome
Petri is obviously a peter derivative...rock
Kid in a creepy mask
Lots of simulation of substance use w/o much substance use
Already asked to swing!
Trying to tell the ratio
Vessels to the old ones
Again not subtle which seems anti Lovecraft
So many uncomfortable close ups
Bro where she go to get that drink russia?
9 months today 😬
Moving here
Lol she can't even think of an excuse not to stay
Lol cuban time
Fire fertility show
They actually hired somebody 🤣
I like that the woman are all middle aged regular looking my baby likes you
Oh yea that was the one kid there despite all the pregnancy
Chanting and planning to impregnate the women
There's something sinister about mens ignorance to the situation in horror films it's misogynistic although i can't place why
Webbed fingers
And these poor women talking sense
Talking sense is awful in a horror film
Oop name drop the man books on the shelf have secret letters
10 months from today 😂 i suppose we wouldn't know what day it is so
But it's old
Bits of german
Stranded guest afraid
I always feel like somebody's watching me
I like the silly little projections of scenes on the letter
These women win being the most realistic in a horror film
Lol straight to cult
Lol she said necrmbkomicon stuff 🤣🤣
Everybody crowded watching in that security room is taking me out the robes
Omg that old man chasing a car on foot!!
Got her
That's the other kid i guess
Bruh that was HELLA close to the house
Now she looking for phone and passport
Here goes the nanny cam
Poorly placed mic
Mam well past time to EXIT
phone didn't work, now it do, MAM
Odd tones
Lights
And the door
The hell kinda knife is that
Petri out
Secret room
Dagon!
Knew it
Thank you
Petri useless
She ran Anyway after waiting
Now he got it
Help who? Now we in stupid horror movie antics
You ALREADY established the cult
They flicked a switch now she dumb
Caveman
More children
At least they aren't pretending it isn't rape, that would have been worse
They utilize the intimacy anchor to convey he's lost instead of the other way around, that is they usually fail to do the task not initiate a poor mimicry of it
I guess points for the rape being guttural screams of agony not salacious
Putting the camera alongside the aggressors elecits different emotions
I believe this one was attempting to do a bystander helplessness thing
Esp considering the last scene
These are ineffective without hope at the end like the letter, something that assists the next victim
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