#unless theyre in convoluted ways like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

borrowmyshovel · 23 days

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Bit of a vent, but one thing that frustrates me about the way trans men and mascs (honestly all trans people, but I am limited by my own perspective) are treated, even by other trans m&ms, is that we are so rarely afforded the space to be wrong or to grow.

Where misogynistic or transphobic cis women are often allowed the space to have internalized misogyny or transphobia (or hatred of/trauma with men that manifests as or leads to transphobia) and possibly grow out of it and learn, it's expected that trans people are supposed to have already recovered from the abuses of society and never fall into negative thought patterns or get bogged down by decades of enforced understandings of gender. Like if a cis woman is misogynistic, it's internalized misogyny and not really that harmful, but if a trans person dares to not have fully overcome all trauma or misogynistic viewpoints they've had forced upon them from birth by society, they're somehow uniquely positioned to hurt women just as much as cis men, if not more because we're supposed to "know better". If someone is lashing out at those around them, they deserve compassion and to be given the chance to learn better, unless theyre trans or someone can connect them to male privilage through some convoluted "logic", then they need a stern talking to or harassment (depending if paternalistic woobifying or demonization is the name of the game that specific day)

This is prompted by an article by a trans guy about how trans men are often left behind by (cis)feminism because we don't fit neatly into the privilaged man/victim women framework (which I agree with), yet it still spent half the time warning about how important it is for trans men not to talk down to women and talking about accountability in trans m&m communities. Like I don't disagree that there's a lot of internalized misogyny, transmisogyny, etc in plenty of trans m&ms and it's something to work on, but acting like it's somehow more common, insidious, or damaging than cis women doing the same? As if Everyone hasn't grown up in the a society being pressured to internalize the same bigoted beliefs? As if trans men don't have an equal stake in feminism? As if trans m&ms are just uniquely likely to be harmful and somehow cause more harm (and only ever harm women, not ourselves or our brothers and siblings, obviously. Who cares about us; surely feminism is about women only)? Just feels unfair. We are not somehow uniquely predisposed to harm. We are just people

that sounds about right. marginalised people are heavily scrutinised, and marginalised masculinity is especially demonized. Something about how misogyny only matters if it's not cishet white men doing it.

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safety-writes-noms · 7 months

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ur art n characters are so good!!! ,,,i am greedy, i want even more about callisto and oliver, can we get a lore/story dump for them i need to know more

Aw tysmm!! I’m glad u like them :D. AND OFC I CAN DO A LORE DUMP THISE ARE MY FAVORITE THIGNS TO DO!! I love it when people let me talk at abt my little people! I tried to shrink the text since it was kinda long but if it’s hard to read, just tell me and I’ll try to fix it :D

also DNI nsfw/kink accounts!! It’s fine if you like that vore in a sexual manner but I am a minor and definitely do NOT like it like that!!

Okay so basically Oliver and Cal are really close bc they practically grew up together. Oliver’s parents always used to have Cal over at their house since they’re aware that Cal isn’t entirely normal but love him like a son anyways.

Plus little Cal showed up on their doorstep one sunny day asking for food and having no home so the obvious next step was to officially adopt him into the household.

Callisto originally showed up with wispy pale hair and an almost colorless complexion that slowly shifted to thick blond hair and tanned skin to mimic Oliver’s parents’ images.

He has a tendency to copy or adopt the features of the people he loves. Also Oliver’s parents are named Ethel and Kane! Sorry for throwing a bunch of random names at you guys, i know its probably kinda convoluted but bear with me plss.

Anyways, when Oliver was born Cal’s eyes immediately changed to the same color. Thankfully his original shade was close enough that it didn’t raise questions. Oh, were Cal’s eyes a lighter shade before? Probably not, just the sunlight or something. He’s 18 almost 19, still in the beginning of his senior year in highschool but started school later than normal kids. He’s usually pretty laid back.

Callisto actually doesn’t really care much for finding his real family or finding out his origin. In his eyes he has a perfectly fine family now who loved him unconditionally no matter what.

He did want to find the family who abandoned him when he was younger but after a long goose chase that ended up fruitless, he became resentful that they left him in the first place. He’s mellowed out by now but that doesn’t mean the angsty “You’re not even my real family!” Line wasn’t dropped somewhere along the way.

He’s never really told his little brother about his inhumaness since he himself doesn’t know much about what he is specifically. He never really changed his appearance on purpose. It was always something he did unconsciously and he genuinely doesn’t know his limits or what he can do since it’s really hard for him to shift on purpose. Unless he’s under insane stress/panic but he’s never really been under that level of pressure so 😋. Oliver knows that his brother isn’t entirely normal just like Ethel and Kane but he doesn’t know the specifics.

Oliver is 14 and is in his freshman year of highschool, straight out of middle school. I live in cali so the school systems might be a bit dif in other places so if anyone wants some clarification on that just tell me!

They go to a highschool that’s near a huge thick forest that’s usually barred off from the rest of the school. I’m talking about thick wire fences and a bunch of warning signs and caution tape. The whole spooky shebang. There are a lot of rumors surrounding it but none of the students ever usually even go near there so there’s never been a situation. But there are whispers of grotesque inhuman creatures and monsters, hungry for human flesh :)

Unfortunately Oliver gets mixed up with the wrong people, a bunch of juniors who “take him under their wing” when really theyre just using him. And he’s just getting dragged along since he desperately wants to still be friends with them since he’s afraid of being left behind.

One thing leads to another and he’s dared to go into the forest by his ‘friends’ alone and even though he really doesn’t want to, he’s afraid that they’ll abandon him if he doesn’t comply. (Which they will, they’d do that if he did or didn’t finish the dare)

They tell him they’ll go in with him but ultimately leave him behind, lost and terrified out of his wits because it’s getting dark, his phone is dying and he can’t call anyone for help. He manages to send one text to Callisto before his service disappears entirely and he’s left stranded. So what does cal do?

Drive straight to the school, probably over the speed limit. He’s received one panicked kinda short text from his little brother begging for his help and a location and immediately hopped into his car.

He’s equipped with pepper spray, a box knife and some car keys as he tracks down Oliver. He doesn’t know how, doesn’t know why, but he’s almost mindlessly following the exact same path Oliver took trying to get out of the forest. (More cool abilities he doesn’t know exists :D) And when he does find his baby brother, Oliver is in mortal danger, all bruised and banged up, surrounded by these horrifying creatures that look like they’ve been pulled straight out of a horror movie and blacks out.

Next thing he knows he’s waking up seven hours later, knuckles covered in black goop and a disturbing wiggling feeling in the base of his gut. Oh, and he’s also the size of a giant tree. Fun.

What's not fun is hearing his little brother scream for help — inside of him. Inside. And then that freaks him out so badly that once he has Oliver out of his system (that never would’ve hurt his baby brother in the first place but he doesn’t know that) he spends about a few days talking with olly before fucking off, convinced that he’s a monster and disgusting creature bc what kind of brother resorts to sleep cannibalism in a time of mortal danger?? Meanwhile Oliver is just really confused, kinda scared and most of all just really wants his older brother back, human or not.

And it’s not like he was hurt or anything inside Callisto despite knowing his brother has a terrifyingly fast metabolism so… everyone draws their own conclusions. Plus even though he just watched his brother grow to inhuman levels in the span of seconds, he’s also seen horrifying monsters and his brother was the one who protected him in the end. Oliver mainly wants explanations and hugs.

That’s all I’ve got for now :)

#sfw vore #extreme cuddling #sw answers asks #sw lore dump #Callisto and Oliver #nonsexual vore

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maddiefriendlovesbilly · 1 year

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Okay actually, I’m gonna be the change I want to see in the world— I Know I’m the only person pushing for this, but can you do a ship review on. Light Zeron and Officer Maloney— if you don’t know enough about either character for that,,,, I dunno— Poppy Soup and Sally Acachalla? - overthinkingtaleblr

you CANNOT do this to me I'm INSANE about both of these concepts and I'm gonna do both you fiend! I'm starting with zeron/maloney because I think the idea of that is just below spooker/maxwell for me on deranged (/pos) ships.

Light Zeron/Officer Maloney

so to start us off let's go over the AMAZING dynamic of "world's most pathetic officer of the law" and "vampire security guard on the run"

we know that maloney is. ahem. SHIT at catching criminals, which makes this whole thing work long enough that they Could form a love/hate relationship

god I want a 5k fanfic on this unironically but I would have to write it!!!!

is this post- or pre-vampire? I'm thinking pre BECAUSE imagine!!! imagine the angst

zeron is acting strangely, super out of character. the only person who knows him well enough to figure it out is the man trying to catch him :sobbing:

(also on an unrelated note, they're both aliens which I think is really cute)

look just like. god I'm just shaking my fists irl because I'm so incoherent about this

theyre like. weirdly similar tbh. something about their egos i feel like would both clash heavily and potentially work really well together

IT'S THE PERFECT ENEMIES TO LOVERS SICK FIC GODDAMN

zeron hasn't drunk any blood in ages, (something-something moral quandary something-something starving) and now he's basically passing out from malnutrition, so of course that's the moment maloney spots him in the alley he's squatting in.

and maybe if it were a stranger he would corner them and feed, (its so much easier to drink someone's blood when you can convince yourself that they aren't actually a person, in a weird, convoluted way) but this is someone he knows, maybe even respects. even if they are enemies.

so he doesn't want to drink maloney's blood, and that leaves him with only one other choice - he runs.

he pushes past him and ducks into the nearest abandoned building, hoping to lose maloney in there, but maloney's right behind him.

and meanwhile maloney, so used to their usual back-and-forth banter during fights, is highly confused (maybe a little upset - and fairly worried - if he's being honest) by this behavior.

zeron keeps running but it's clear he won't get much further unless he drinks someone's blood, and now there's literally only one person around - the guy he cares for too much (even if he won't admit it to himself).

be caught or surrender, that's his choice.

it's made for him when maloney catches his wrist - but instead of cuffing him, he spins zeron around, cornering him.

(at this point zeron is wondering if he's about to die a very painful death, but all he can do is stare at maloney's neck.)

maloney oblivious to his surroundings as always, is currently checking zeron over for injuries, and mentally slapping himself because he caught the criminal, why isn't he cuffing him?

this is around the time zeron's resolve breaks - close proximity to a very appetizing meal while starving makes it a bit difficult NOT to partake.

he goes for the neck - literally - and begins drinking like the world is ending. make this part as gay as your little heart desires.

being stabbed in the neck hurts, even more so when they are draining your blood, so maloney quickly pushes zeron off.

but a meal's a meal, and zeron is gone before maloney can even get a word in.

that's all ive got on that for right now haha, so let's hop over to pros and cons!

pros: very fun dynamic, their shared weirdness and the fact that they're both aliens (of different species) could be a bonding point, and they are both like. so so sopping wet and pathetic, they also have similar personalities in a strange way. great potential for hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers and hurt/no comfort fics.

cons: uhhhh. okay so theyre on opposite sides technically, which means any happy ending is gonna have a lot of rough spots, and there's like SO much distrust between them (and light zeron already has issues trusting others)

Conclusion: I'm like SOO biased here so give me a sec to find my center and use logic. Do I think they would work short-term? I feel like they would somehow manage it? like despite everything they'd somehow manage to stay in a not-so-secret kind-of-relationship for at least a year (meanwhile all the news stations are reporting about the two gay people fighting in the street again), and then they'd actually start going on the cheesiest dates ever (and causing pure chaos wherever they went), like coffee dates and amusement park dates and all that shit. everyone would just accept that they're dating and that maloney will probably never catch him but it's Buttsville, NC so what are you gonna do?

at the same time though, I'm sitting here like, what's the long-term gonna look like? does maloney become a criminal? do they get married and settle down? both are hilarious yet tragic because undoubtedly maloney would be a better criminal than police officer but it goes against his perception of himself, and neither is exactly built for domesticity. still, I think they'd manage. somehow it feels like they're too much of a force of nature to let something like that stop them, y'know?

#can... can we call this ship SirenZeron?#ship reviews #maddie answers #maddie writes #taleblr #venturiantale #light zeron #officer maloney #maloney x light zeron #light zeron x maloney #everyone become insane and deranged with me #im having a blast in this small enclosure. stick ur hand through my cage bars i promise i wont drag you in. btw its great in here

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lumikore · 1 year

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mistah demo main... please tell me some tips. i have like 30 hours on tf2 and i suck so royally its embarrassing when i pull up as demo with 2 kills and 12 deaths. i love playing him because i feel like i could cause sm damage but idk 😭 why do his stickies take SO long to detonate

ohhhh my god you have just opened the floodgates. i am gonna tell you so much information about playing demo its not even funny. infodump of the century incoming.

first of all don't worry if you suck!! demo is probably one of the hardest classes in the game to pick up, but also arguably the most powerful in terms of explosive damage output. you are 100% correct that you could cause some damage with demo.. to be exact a LOT of damage. but he does take time to master!

i feel like a lot of demo mains start out mostly sticky spamming, but i started out mostly using my primary, and then i stopped using stickies altogether for a while and started using the sticky jumper (still my favourite movement tool in the game tbh).

but ive started using the sticky launchers again and they are definitely a VERY powerful source of explosive damage output, pretty much like another primary weapon. also, feel like i should mention this early on.. you can charge stickies!! by holding down mouse1 instead of clicking to fire, you can make the stickies go way further and travel much quicker. a lot of really experienced demo mains even don't know this which i think is kind of crazy.. anyway..!!

if you find the stickies take too long to detonate, and your enemies have run away by the time they do, i'd suggest changing where you place your stickies. it's tempting to just aim them straight at the enemies' feet, but unless theyre standing on a control point or payload cart they generally wont make an effort to stay there lol.

instead predict where they're going to run and put stickies there.. that could be kind of convoluted but hear me out. if they're chasing you then place the stickies at your own feet. orr if they're running away put stickies ahead of them!! or place stickies around a corner so they don't see them at first.. you'd be surprised at the amount of people who will just walk into a bunch of stickies! also, you can tell when they are ready to detonate because they will flash twice, but you probably already knew that lol.

stickies are also a great area denial tool, meaning you don't even need to detonate them for them to be effective. for example, if you're on payload defense, and you place stickies on the cart while theres no one on it, that will discourage most classes from even getting near it. and if they do, well, kablooey!

if you really need to sticky spam straight at people then use the quickiebomb launcher. it only has 4 bombs per clip and does slightly less damage, but you can get them out and detonate them a lot faster. but really i think you should master the stock weapons before starting to use unlocks!!

even though stickybombs are a really powerful tool you shouldn't forget about the grenade launcher either. it is a bit harder to aim but its really useful when you run out of stickies since stickies take soooo unbearably long to reload... like what is this, reload simulator 2007.. no thanks..!!

theres no tip i can give you that will immediately make you a god at landing direct pipes unfortunately.. what i suggest for getting better with the grenade launcher is to open up a tr_walkway server with some bots (there are tutorials on youtube on how to do this) and practice blowing them up!! i seriously do this for hours on end sometimes its honestly therapeutic. AND it improves your aim. win-win!!

anyways wow.. oh my goodness i wrote a lot. this is basically just general advice that i give to everyone about playing demo but if you have any specific questions don't be afraid to ask :D i love infodumping about my favourite games lol

#tf2 #tf2 demoman #tf2 demo #team fortress 2 #demoman tf2

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hermitcraft-8 · 7 months

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ace attorney investigations is both way better and way worse than the original games to me in particular because in the original games you go around looking fir clues and stuff but most of the games are the courtroom parts which is complicated and confusing and awful < unless youre good at it

id like to mention ive done mock trials before and theyre actually so much fun but the games are so confusing and convoluted and strange that i dont like being behind the bench for some levels. i just dont know whats happening or what on earth phoenix is thinking

but anyway. in investigations youre almost never behind the bench and its great. phoenix isnt there at all, youre miles EDGEWORTH instead. you just look around to see clues and stuff, build the situation your head - its cool :]

but the downside is logic chess. in which you learn that miles has no clue how to play chess because its a time based game where you either stay quiet or start pushing for information and then a chess piece shows up????? and breaks the other person’s chess piece ????? its not chess. but i only really dislike it because of the time aspect, yiure on a timer and its scary

ANYWAY who even cares about game mechanics i need 2 introduce you to kay faraday

shes a little [i say little but shes like. idont know. 16-18] pink thief girl who shows up. i think after miles gets kidnapped ?????? in a haunted house ???????? and she has her speech where she talks aboyt how shes the yatagaratsu who steals the truth ect ect. i love her because when she’s not being extremely helpful she exclusively makes fun of miles. as a teenager is meant to do 👍

she talks aboyt stealing & breaking & entering in front of this whole entire lawyer so often and its hilarious. because he cant do shit about it because shes never actually stolen anything or broken and entered anything

anyway she has this little machine she got from her father called little thief that makes holograms of whatever information is inputted into it. helps with detective work 👍 and also with stealing

her dad was a defence attorney BUT. YOU SEE. HE WAS ALSO A GREAT THIEF which is where she got this whole thing from. and he was a thief WITH two other people. her uncle whos a detective that looks like hes smoking cigarettes but its just a lollipop < hes silly] and the woman who killed her dad 👍 her sprites r cool as hell

the whole first game, kay & miles are revealing a smuggling ring. can you believe it. this random rich guy and the girl he met 3 days ago who is 16. find an international smuggling ring and get them arrested. the hell

in the second game they have ❤️❤️❤️❤️ justine courtney & sebastian debeste. justine is a judge & also religious but her god is uh. the goddess of the law 👍 shes kind of a hardass but shes nice to sebastian which i appreciate because no one is nice to sebastian. which sucks

sebastian is another rich guy who only got the job cuz his dad let him. its complicated and a whole thing and seb’s dad is a. horrible person + the big bad of the second game because he killed someone, attempted to take justine’s son hostage + took sebastian hostage instead.

Theres a second big bad, his name is simon keyes, hes a clown. but an evil clown but like. he looks nice. until he starts being an ass right when you try to get him arrested. he gave kay amnesia and ill never forgive him ect ect ect

anyway thats ace attorney investigations. evil rich people & people who manipulate people who dont know better into giving them what they want r the general big bads in this one

that's awesome, love that

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yuukei-yikes · 11 months

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coughs yp blood please i need to see ur ideal kenjirou ending scenario.........

i think he should LIVE!!! AND DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES!!! i truly dont know how he could live and make it make sense... idk how he could live if hiyori is also alive and theyre using clearing as Her surrogate life. but. erm erm erm. yeah💥 Sorry to link this shit again but like i did WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS CONCEPT kenjirou living and dealing with all the fucked up things he did or maybe didnt do... *goes crazy*

idk yeah kenjirou dying MAKES sense but... sniff sniff... we only see him walking away with ayaka. idk. feels too easy. for such a convoluted character who is also so interesting, I'd love if there was more to it than just this. maybe a last bit of consciousness before or after clearing leaves his body. id love for him to talk or apologize to his kids before going. Augh hayloft II by mother mother playing in my head. SHE'S NOT A BAD KID SHE HAD TO DO IT SHE HAD TO KILL POP -> ayano is back, somehow. shintaro brought her. even with everything going on, i wonder if kenjirou would see this and wonder If ayano is here, can't ayaka? kenjirou sees all his kids here and sees the atrocities he's done in the name of the love for his wife. was it really worth it? would she want you, like this? once you go, who is taking care of the kids? they look grown. but they aren't. you're fading away and your kids stand above you and watch you. and they have the audacity and humanity to mourn you. if he spoke, he could say he loves them or better, say he's sorry. but he does neither and then he's dead. and on the other side there is her, and she won't be as merciful as they were. she will make him pay for what he's done through her rejection.

(coughs) anyways when the holder of a snake in the real world passes, they get swallowed back to the daze with all the ones stuck there, i guess to reclaim the snake? kenjirou and ayaka walk away together so one could assume that's what happens cuz the daze sure as hell isnt releasing the people inside, so its not like just cuz kenjirous dead, ayaka will be released. but also, kenjirou dies precisely cuz clearing leaves his body, so why would the daze open? it has no snake to reclaim!!! ayaka and kenjirou would NOT reunite!!! Unless ayaka is released?? maybe in the specific scenario where a snake holder dies BUT the snake gets out of the body, maybe their counterpart inside the daze gets out and both souls die together this time for reals??? erm. idk. seems over complicated and hey why are you looking at me weird. this is normal im not overanalysing.

erm... anyways, either way kenjirou and ayaka DO reunite somehow?? and its funny to imagine kenjirou and ayaka in the daze going thru a divorce arc i guess!!

im not sure WHAT my ideal ending would be. but i sure as hell wish he had a moment where he's fully himself again, aside the bit in the anime where he's like "thanks for watching me all these years" to saeru. like that bit is good i like it but i wish there was something more jarring and real about it. i wish he felt guilt and horror and saw what he collaborated in doing, i wish to know how conscious he was about it. i want him to see his kids and wish he could stay with them but know theyre better off without him. i wish he saw haruka&takane and what hes done to them and feel nauseous. kenjirou fascinates me he's such an interesting guy

#ask tag #kenjirou tateyama #headcanons #kagenalysis

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ceramicdove · 1 year

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hello dove! i am intending to send a similar ask to matthew and angie so if u see them answering asks of the like thats whats up. anyways, i finished jane austens persuasion today. its a rlly lovely book, pondering on something i never rlly thought of but which has enlightened me quite a lot as someone in the position of persuader myself. theres a lot of craft put into it thats very clever and delightful... but i only realised it by reading the introduction after reading the whole book! im not very good at noticing literary techniques at all or implications in words and actions unless theyre very obvious :( reasonably this troubles me (although i hope this ask does not do the same for u)

as someone who reads a lot i assume or just has a great deal of passion for what u read , what do u do to become more sensitive to texts so u can form such nuanced and layered takes! or really how do u read in general?

hello to you too, lab! it took me a while to get around to this, though I strongly enjoyed angie’s and matthew's responses. I've yet to read persuasion, but you make me curious about it, so I may add it to my reading list. Thank you for choosing me to answer this as well! It's an honour.

angie and matthew both wrote very solid and informative responses with more practical advice, so I will ruin this streak of well-sharpened answers by offering you the most dove-like response there is: one that is very long, tangential, and convoluted. this is a theoretical and personal response, it will carry parts that are more like general rants on how people engage with reading, rather than things targeted at you specifically. but this is just how I am. you likely already knew that when you chose to ask me this.

To preface my actual thoughts with a more personal & anecdotal segment: despite your assumption, I actually don't read a lot (what even is "a lot"?), despite wanting to. I'm frequently disappointed with my short-comings in reading and analysis. I have glaring issues with feeling restless and having a poor attention span and memory while reading, which makes it difficult for me to parse through long texts. Like you, I struggle with taking certain things at face value. I have to rely on re-reading a lot.

It's something I beat myself up over frequently. I'm very eager to pursue knowledge, and I always feel like the more I learn, the more I realise I ultimately know absolutely nothing. It's so easy to feel unbearably small. It's a very human thing, but it also makes it difficult to healthily relate with myself when I set such a high bar. at times, it has made me very doubtful about whether my thoughts are worthy of sharing.

Plenty of those who either are or wish to be into analysis & literature place a lot of value and pressure on the act of being someone intellectual, someone who reads a lot, someone who can read a book one time, understand it, and walk away to the next book. I get a lot of youtube videos about literature in my recommended, videos about people who read dozens upon dozens of books in a year, people who read 15 long books in just one month. It's a nice mental image, no? you must be so smart, being able to say "I read 100 books this year!"

I have never read 100 books in one year. I probably never will.

I think many of us don't engage with reading the way we should. I think there's too much pressure placed on being fast and doing more, instead of taking your time and doing better.

reading is a skill. the ideal way to improve a skill is not by mindlessly practicing a lot or as fast as you can, just so you can feel fulfilled by the concept of practicing so much. the ideal way of improving a skill is by identifying your own blind spots, your pace & personal needs, and understanding each piece of knowledge you gain as you evolve.

this is NOT to say that anyone who reads a lot must be a faux-pas intellectual who doesn't actually understand what they're reading, or that you HAVE to pour over every paragraph in a literary work in order to be a good reader. my point is that the desire to "read more" (implicitly the desire to be fulfilled, passionate, smart) is a slippery slope into feeling inferior because you can't read fast enough, can't understand a specific metaphor, can't understand a book if you only read it once, can't do [X] and [Y].

we are all different people, with vastly different minds, needs, and limits.

this is something I'm still coming to terms with. I'm 17, going on 18, and my relationship with art & analysis is constantly shifting as I age. but, fucking hell, you can read just 3 books front-to-back in a year and still have that be more impactful than reading 30 books, solely based on what you read and how you choose to extend your time and sensibility to the work.

You can dedicate a year of your life to loving one singular work, researching all of its references, absorbing its vision. You can do that with just one work, and have that singular experience expand your general culture, evolve your relationship with art and analysis as a whole, or even change your life. Conversely, you can have a massive bookshelf and still have the sensibility & analysis skills of a cardboard box. We are obsessed with doing more, and subsequently beating ourselves up for not doing more, for no reason at all.

the point I'm trying to make is that many of us are a little too hard on ourselves, or are looking at things from the wrong angle. and I really do understand your sentiment of being troubled! I finished utena last night and found myself almost overwhelmed by how much content & symbolism there was that I still needed to go back to and grasp. there were moments when I questioned my own merits as someone who enjoys critical analysis.

but there's a reason why many books have published student guides: lots of people will naturally struggle to grasp certain literary devices. there is no shame in using whatever resources you have at hand. there are entire books and blogs published on understanding specific authors and their works. there's a reason why author's notes exist.

there will be authors who will confuse you, authors that will make you second-guess yourself constantly, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. we all have different lives, minds, and artistic visions. some authors just have narrative voices you can't connect with very well, and that can be a matter of personal discrepancy. there will be times when you will have to offer yourself patience or look towards external sources. similarly, because you have your own individual mind and vision, there will be instances where other people may seek your help, or praise you for how easily you could grasp an idea that is natural to you, but complex to others.

part of my sensibility as both a reader & writer came from acknowledging all of the aforementioned things, and fighting to untangle them in my mind so I can read in a way that is natural to me and my needs. this is something I still do every day. I still doubt myself every day. I still feel guilty every day. for not being smart enough, not understanding things fast enough, not being a good learner, not being able to use my own words when I need to. but ultimately, I try to remain as open as I can.

would some people be surprised to hear that a lot of my ideas on ES, the ones you and I have spoken of, stem from information I've slowly picked up from other people? I did not re-invent the wheel! I was just open to everything until I started to alchemize everything I learned into my own ideas.

I was insanely different when I first started reading these stories back in the summer of 2021. it's now december 2022, I have re-read some of them more times than I can count. I have read other people's thoughts, at first passively, as a neutral audience member taking everything in, then critically, as someone who has a more solidified vision. the thing is, I still remain open, and still believe I essentially know nothing. but I needed external influence to get to this point.

angie is actually someone who helped me feel more driven towards pursuing and sharing my thoughts with people before we were even friends like we are now, and his analysis & writing is very meaningful and dear to me. it can be really important to have people you can talk to and share ideas with, and that can prove to be mutually beneficial as well. I'm not exactly sure where I'd be now if it weren't for his presence!

in my own case, another part of being nuanced and layered lies in my nature of being open. there is no secret mechanism to this. the truth is, I am inherently what some would call naive. the word "naive" is quite derogatory, and it's true that carrying this childishness has caused me a lot of cognitive dissonance, emotional turmoil, and consequences. but, sometimes, and especially in the field of art, it grants me a special kind of sensibility. it's part of who I am. I am very open to wonder and to child-like feelings. I am very prone to offering the benefit of the doubt and to believing in everything and everyone. I am not a push-over, but I am malleable. I absorb everything around me until I can mature my knowledge and evolve my own ideas.

this can be a downfall, it can cause me to become so conflicted with my ideas that I can't bear it, and it has isolated me at times. but it has also manifested itself as an artistic and interpretative strength, an internal world I see that others cannot.

look into yourself and how you engage with art, and come to terms with your own strengths and needs as someone who both creates and engages with creations. you are a very sensible and intelligent person, and I admire you for that. perhaps we all just need more time with ourselves in order to find a method of engaging with texts that is more personal and holistic to us.

generally speaking, in no particular order, this is what I do:

-> I re-read the material as many times as I feel called to. re-reading is my natural way of evolving information. I seek patterns and reoccurring symbols, structures that sew the story together.

-> I take note of any terms or references that are foreign to me, and I research them as deeply as I can to see if I can find anything useful to my interpretation. sometimes, I will put coloured post-it indexes on the pages of a book to mark information I plan to research at a later time, or I use my highlighter chrome extension if I'm reading digitally. wikipedia, articles, academic papers, and guidebooks are my best friends.

-> I stay open to what other people are saying and weigh in their perspectives. I try to understand people's backgrounds, as well as what they seek from the story, so I can understand why they look at it in that way. I take information that is new and intriguing to me, and I leave the rest behind.

-> I can get very restless and overwhelmed quickly if I focus too much on a text, so I give myself time to process information. I write down analysis notes, half-baked as they may be in the beginning, in order to unravel any confused and tangled thoughts in my mind and give myself space to think and evolve more calmly.

-> I listen to ambiental music or meditate in order to cool off and allow ideas to come to me more easily. entering this flow state can be crucial to me as someone who easily gets too energetic or tense when trying to process information and ideas.

-> I try to take a step back when I am frustrated with my understanding of a text, and I either seek external resources, come back to it a bit later, or I put it on the backburner for when I feel that my reading skills are more developed and I can tackle it more confidently.

I could say a million other things, but I already think it's a miracle if you even read this far in the first place. if you did, thank you. I emphatise with your feelings a lot, since I have shared similar experiences with understanding prose, poetry, and plays alike. this is something I am still actively learning for myself. I hope we can both continue finding ways to grow as readers!

#🕊️📬

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caise3910 · 24 days

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i wish Gcash got better [ig its a more positive and optimistic way of saying Gcash is a dogshit service]

it has a TON of issues and r/Philippines has already enumerated a ton of it

ill start tho by saying that it being totally unusable unless in its latest version is kinda justified for security reasons (although other apps like Shopee which also handles money over the internet does not need to be updated often so they probably dont have a really good reason for this)

besides those:

1. (most important one) THE APP LOADS SLOWLY AT TIMES THAT IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE UNDER POOR INTERNET CONNECTION BUT YOU WERENT (I noticed this personally under smart mobile data and smart homebro wifi)

2. Filled with ads and other annoying pop-ups (the tutorial always shows up every time you log in)

3. Invasive permissions that are for the most part useless

3.1 You cant use Gcash if you have developer options on

4. frequent outages

5. Getting verified (at least as a minor) is so convoluted and non-straightforward that you will notice how drastically different the working process is as prescribed by youtube tutorial channels [so far i think(?) they tell you to interact with customer support] from the one youre supposed to follow

5.1. Gcash's own process refers you to eventually resubmit documents to a place THAT DOESNT EXIST essentially blocking you from completing the process (so it has dogshit UI and unreliable help section)

6. Creating an account is easy but deleting an account that doesn't even have a transaction history needs you to disclose your personal information via the verification process

7. Verification is needed to use the app in external apps (previously this wasnt a thing not to mention the weird exemptions to this that thankfully made me able to load up my steam wallet)

and lastly

8. Transaction fees for everything

8.1. this: (op for some reason didnt censor their phone number)

Being mad over those who staff Gcash's customer services, networking and others kinda doesnt give the overall bad service justice, ig Globe is so accustomed to being a telecommunications oligopoly that when they venture to e-wallets theyre blind to how bad the service has turned out

Also kinda wondering how other services compare like Paymaya

#Philippines #Gcash #bad services

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mineral-poetry · 5 months

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Hey everyone! I'm Mineral ✒️

Call me Min if you like! :]

I'm a poet who doesn't really share their poems that often, but I'm proud of them and enjoy writing them, so I thought, why not open up my own little corner of the internet.

Welcome to Mineral Poetry.

under the break, you will find dni's, basic information about me and what I write, my tagging system, my triggers, what i will and will not write and other general information

My DNI criteria is quite simple. Respect others, their choices and their boundaries, unless what theyre doing is illegal. this means no homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism etc. it also means proshippers and zoos are not allowed here. this is not a safe space for that kind of person.

I'm Min, as I've said, I am a non binary lesbian poet, and I have been seriously writing poems for about a year now, perhaps slightly less. My pronouns are They/Xe/It. Min is a pseudonym and is not my real or chosen name, but it is what I'll go by in this cozy corner of the internet.

on posts like these/more serious and admin like posts I will be tagging #Mineral Admin Posts

on answers to asks (which i highly accept and engourage, ask me anything, talk to me about your day!) I will be tagging #Ask a Mineral

on poetry requests (which I accept!) I will be tagging #Mineral Poetry Requests

on poems themselves I will be tagging #Actual Mineral Poetry

and on other non related things I'll be tagging #Mineral Goes Off Topic

finally on reblogs of others posts ill simply be tagging #Mineral Reblogs

Only very few, main one being vomit/talk of throwing up/gagging anything, I have very severe emetephobia and it is really my one true fear. I have a few other little ones but we'll learn that along the way.

I will write most things. the main thing I will not write often or really at all is NSFW poems, while they have their own merit that's not the feelings I tend to channel into my works, so usually my poems will be based more around my own struggles with mental and physical health and occasionally a love poem if im feeling especially sappy.

Alright, that's the end of this convoluted intro post, if you have any questions my ask box is wide open to anyone and everyone, you can talk to me about anything you like, I love you all, and once again.

Welcome to Mineral Poetry📜✒️

#mineral admin posts #mineral poetry #poems on tumblr #poetry #original poem #poems and poetry #poem #poems #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #poetic #writers on tumblr #writing

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tigerstarsr · 6 months

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crawls out of my mud pit so i like to use stars on my designs for clan leaders because i think it fucks hard but i like making the stars indicate how many lives the leaders have by how many points the star has. kind of like this right. 2 points will just be like. <>. then the remaining life is simply. Circle

i like to think that starclan has rigid rules when it comes to granting Any cat lives and that includes the positioning that they place the final star on the cat receiving the lives. Those being:

Forehead

Chest

Back (Upper/Middle)

Tail

Though there isn't any set in stone meanings to these placements, over the years there's been superstitions of sorts surrounding these placements that can be either good or bad.

The luckiest placement is considered the Chest Star

The Chest Stars have frequently been given to prosperous leaders that send their Clans into new, fulfilling eras. This could be improvement in technology/medicine/etc., victory in war or recuperating a clan post war, all that good stuff. Ex: i give Firestar a chest star

The negatives to this placement is that these same leaders often have shorter lifespans. Not all the time! But it is used as an indicator to be more cautious. The reasonings could be for anything, but most of the time-- esp during wars --its because they might've been assassinated/killed during battle, died from sickness during war, all that.

more under cut

The unluckiest placement is considered the Tail Star

Tail Stars are frequently given to cats who really honest to god cant lead for shit. LMFAO. WHILE THIS ISNT A SUREFIRE WAY TO EVALUATE A LEADER, its a pretty noted trend. This could either be inability to lead like personality reasons, or theyre evil and twisted and fucked up and starclan doesnt really like them. Starclan is also notorious for being petty depending on who's leading the life-giving-ceremony so honestly you could be the most ideal candidate but if the cat hates ur ass ur getting a tail star

despite this trend these leaders tend to live the longest. maybe not the longest as a leader. but

The Forehead Star really depends on what clan you're talking to. To ThunderClan, ShadowClan, and elder generations of RiverClan, this is the luckiest star for their leaders. To WindClan, newer RiverClan gen, and SkyClan, this is their unluckiest star.

leaders who get this star are usually wicked smart, and tend to think more clan-focused rather than say, emotionally like a chest star leader might. ones not necessarily better than the other ofc bc it very much depends on the context of the clan and how this cat goes about their methods.

There's also the superstition related to the little starclan kity cats re the Tiger/Lion/Leopards. Getting a forehead star = one of those bitches sending their claw thru ur skull. this is like. a pretty convoluted set up i have but the most barebones tldr is that the elder god is either lending you their claws, or they Want Your Ass Dead Yesterday. Those who believe in this superstition get pretty antsy when leaders come back with forehead stars, bc it could genuinely be one extreme or the other

The Back Star is also another pretty dependent thing, but as of. uh. whenever the fuck i put this idk. its leaning on the luckier side esp if it's closer to tha head/neck

These are generally given to leaders during like. calm periods amongst the clans. If there's no war youre chilling! pat on the back for not starting shit. but also this placement could be made if all nine cats giving the leader lives is related to them in some shape or fashion. whether it be greatx20 grandfather or the unfortunate kit who passed away. etc.

similarly to tail stars, these leaders could also just be lazy guys or inadequate leaders. laying on ur back/exposing ur belly = submission. assigned loser at starclan

theres also such thing as "False Stars", aka a cat was born with some kind of star pattern. These are stupid easy to identify unless the cat is a white bicolor.

All StarClan given stars are white, or off-white. the most color they'll have is cream. no patterns in them, no other colors, all that. theyre also Very Plainly Stars. There will be no disruption in the points like natural patterning would cause, and the most distortion in the lining would be via adapting to how the fur/skin settles on a cat.

cats born with white/cream stars that are good enough to pass as leader-stars are usually noted in some way by the clan. While they can't receive the prefix Star, they might get Sun-, Moon-, Cloud-, etc. prefixes if the queen is particularly ecstatic about it and usually they are.

cats born with these stars are usually seen as stupid good luck and may be the first ones eyes land on when it comes to prophecies. Surprisingly there's only one noted cat who was born with a natural star who became leader, receiving a twin star. who that cat is. i dont fucking know.

ok thank you that is all.

#Warrior Cats #WC #idk how to tag this for my own lore shit. uh #more than 1200 warrior cats . . . and ME #<- there we go

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waloeders · 8 months

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the updated kosmos timeline/backstory is essentially:

*proceeds to write the longest most convoluted setup ever*

1) clive experiences the events of the entire game, gets to origin, where there's a bunch of horrible stuff, and instead of using the magic gathered to destroy origin, he makes a desperate attempt to travel back in time to fix everything, save the ones he loves and such

2) this is widely regarded as a terrible idea. but it works! kind of. he goes back to a few days before the start of the game, when he was an imperial bearer, except when he wakes up: kosmos is there.

3) hijinks ensue. he tells kosmos to go to lostwing and tell them cid sent him (they have yet to admit to clive literally anything, he just thinks theyre some rando in the woods abt to be caught+killed by his imperial buddies)

4) later, after clives saved jill, taken (+killed) benediktas powers and also reunited with joshua, they meet again. clive, cid, joshua n jote end up in lostwing and he sees them again and is like hold on. i never met them originally 🤨

5) more hijinks but they eventually figure out everyones on the same side, team "fuck ultima up" is partially formed and kosmos joins

6) back to cids hideaway! clive explains all, kosmos chimes in every now n then with extra tibits and together they come up with a plan to kill ultima before destroying the remaining mother crystals. also, they hope to recruit barnabas n maybe even kupka to fight against ultima

7) at some point? clive, jill and cid fight kupka and he takes on all 3 (shiva, ramuh, titan) powers. fun fact: doing this when far away from kosmos, hurts them! so its best to keep them closeby [they dont find this out until after titan]

8) clive confronts odin at belarus tor while cid distracts slepnir, joshua talks with dion, jill tries to prevent collateral damage during the fight and kosmos is there to back up jill

9) big fight, clive wins n takes odin powers and barnabas is an awkward third wheel to ultima "wow i love mythos" mcgee, which is when he discovers that no humans, not even ultimas followers were going to end up in the new world. this does wonders for his religious beliefs [read: absolutely demolishes them n hes in denial abt it for a while]

10) barnabas ends up being taken captive n back to the hideaway, meets kosmos on the travel back and immediately is like. okay this guys weakest for sure, i can definitely take him in a fight, even hands tied, maybe even manipulate him into joining my team! which is how they end up ridin the same chocoboro back n talkin lots

11) during his time captive in the hideaway, they get closer but at some point, maybe when clive and cid are meeting up with joshua n dion to plan how to handle ultimas fake half brother of dion/clive/joshua, barnabas escapes, takin kosmos hostage along the way

12) they end up back in waloed at the tower and barnabas has an argument with ultima for the first time ever. ultima doesnt like this and he also seems to recognise kosmos as, in fact, kosmos, not just some random dude like everyone else thinks

13) hes like ayo. kill kosmos ffs. that things kosmos, i taught u abt him hes dangerous and mean. and barnabas is like 🤨 hmm???? what??? no i dont wanna do that, ur not even takin me to the promiseland

14) *ultima cast eldritch blast* no but like yeah he just goes fuck it, i can manage a spell strong enough to kill these two (mainly kos cuz hes actually dangerous/a threat to him)

15) somehow, kosmos blocks it (unknowingly causing a massive shockwave across valisthea) and then teleports the two of them back to the middle of the hideaway aaaand passes out. 10/10. no notes

16) during his recovery, barnabas barely leaves his side unless slepnir stays. hes kinda in-out for it but he does get close + familiar with slepnir and also has a funny fever moment

17) later end of recovery, he gets moved back to his own room, which is when my prev fic is set :3

18) slepnir also joins after the events, i just havent decided on how it reads. so they just have a sleep/cuddle pile together :3 cute ! <3

yeah then idk just yet. i have some ideas abt havin a big group dight with ultima n the way barnabas acts bc of this new relationship + complete shifting of his personal/religious(?) beliefs. like at first he absolutely just goes yeah ill transfer it to someone else like mythos/clive and follow him instead. and then wait, kosmos stands up to ultima, hes so powerful wow! no, right, he should follow them instead.

u know what, follow me to therapy. go to therapy !! its an interesting dynamic to say the least.

kosmos and his dog that bites and his dogs horse who is also his horse that kicks. and kosmos, who just goes :( thats not nice.

if u read all this a) im sorry b) thank youuuu 🥰🥰 i hope this makes some sense even to ppl who havent played the game/dont know the storyline <3

#jupiter.speaks #👤.kosmos #> this makes sense to me. at least. also u dont have to read all that at some point i will write these bits #> but im intending to follow 3rd person introspective for kosmos(me) rather than jumping around #> this is. so extensive but i have the vision here okay. i will write it eeh.#> nyway i am done with work+carers today so !!!! game night time <3 and maybe i write more after ehehe

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absintheancandle · 2 years

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I am OBSESSED with your dolls, it pushes so many of my specific buttons and I want to know more!!! Why does doll society have rules against body modification, and what are they?

HII im glad!! i love these little guys im glad others r too hehe.. i might edit this post later when im less tired if i find i said something weird but if i was too confusing i would not mind anyone asking for better clarification at all

okay so, it's slightly convoluted because its a Society With History:tm: so some things i'll only mention in passing instead of making this post like, a mile long, but:

doll modification laws are mostly put in place due to old social hierarchy of faeries. dolls aren't exactly dolls as we Know them (as toys lol) and are in fact faeries to a degree. they used to be able to do a lot more magic than now and were much more powerful, but over time that dwindled for Reasons (illegal. magic is illegal) but many more high-society folk consider it Important to portray faerie history (ie. horns, pointy ears, certain tattoos and cloth designs) minus the magic bc they literally just dont know how to do it.

so as a result the laws aren't exactly strict in every aspect and more linked directly to unfairly locking historical portrayal to class + wealth. since magic is illegal they don't want to risk people getting more interested in finding a way to Get Into magic by having faerie history more accessible being the reason why they start looking, but people with social standing are what they are. things get waived every now and then. so now faerie traits are ALSO associated with wealthier people and you KNOW how wealthy people just Love to keep Their Things Theirs and not Yours if they dont deem you Worthy

other reasons would include "easy to be used illegally" and "It Just Would Kill The Vibe On My Opinion",

ex 1. sewing pockets into yourself is illegal because you can easily do that to Commit Crimes, since pockets are easy to conceal under clothes and as long as you dont overfill them, youre putting stuff Inside You under your flesh . nobody will know unless it literally just makes you lumpy.

ex 2. man like stuff like giving urself multiple arms or legs or whatever just. while its cool, it also just feels wrong to me in this specific case bc outside of lore reasons, the focus i wanted for them was originally how tiny hands use small human objects as large ones, pixie hollow style. i was obsessed with the joan stiener look-alike books too. theyre Little Humans made of Cloth and thats the Point, makin them look more fantastical Will shift that focus more towards that and i dont want it to :(

anyways, stuff thats less strict would apply to health purposes like sewing up an injury, cotton replacement, replacing broken buttons, etc. (usually free), or stuff considered more Basic Cosmetics like changing your buttons for colour or material, adding or removing tity, sometimes making yourself Taller or Smaller, etc. that all costs money bc of material worth on non-essential alterations, but i won't go into that Now bc like. doll economy is weird since its not capitalistic and their view of Whats Important is complicated

but for both of those the laws are more defined as your tailor are required to register what was used both health and cosmetic, especially if it Was cosmetic in exchange for currency

#answered #again i wont talk abt doll economy here but help jobs arent required and their view of trade via currency is WEIRD.#they DO it but you arent EXPECTED to do it unless youre a specific kind of person and/or its a specific kind of situation #as people arent required to work either there is DEFINITELY tailors who dont work for money either #bc the social tiers dont consider ''nonworking'' as lazy or something. theyre just as well respected unless youre a judgemental freak #so in theory you could go to a non-currency tailor for modification but higher society folk look down on it + its less easy to regulate #so its not exactly looked on well by authority either if thats a worry for the person in question. but its not Banned or anything #ok sorry if any of this is confusing btw im a bjt tired bc i just woke up from a nap aftwr crying a lot.#pet deathDoes somethjng to you #if anything isnt clarified to well feel free to ask more. im probably gonna draw some stuff on this modification topic later #ALSO last but not least i AM working on a large more indepth document so if i dont cover anything well enough here please tell me #so that way i can cover it better in the doc. if anyones interested?? i plan on making it public at some point #plus it'll have some stuff ppl probably wont even think to ask if thats interesting to any of you ;;;)#MWAH KISS YOU #doll lore #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I SWEAR I.L DRAW MORE STUFF SOON

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mar1garden · 4 years

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more diamond au i suppose

the continuation that literally no one asked for

music!! adrien still plays piano, but in this, mari plays viola and accompanies him sometimes!! adrien got tired of how limited viola pieces are, so he started to compose his own under tikki’s tutelage (creation and all). mari is flattered but she’s fine playing second fiddle (viola), really! adrien keeps writing music because it’s fun and because he loves the way mari’s eyes light up when she sees a new piece

sorry to have her play viola but im Projecting. its basically used as percussion in most songs, playing a steady beat that some find boring but all other sections would lose their tempo without. i feel like mari, who in the show tends to feel useless unless she is Actively Helping, would enjoy a part that’s so (pardon the pun) instrumental.

with tikki, adrien is a lot less *spontaneously* rebellious and a lot more *planned out* rebellious. tikki helps him plan how to get out from under his father’s thumb without accidentally landing himself further under it. because of her help, he’s able to hang out with friends a lot more!!

mari and adrien are both better friends with the class in diamond. mari makes an effort to include people in projects she thinks they’d like, and helps them with theirs in return, but they also hang out to just goof around and watch movies or play video games! adrien is easy to be friends with, but he takes more responsibility for himself and others and, on top of that, is simply around more for them to be friends with!

he ends up modeling for marinette a lot. like, a lot. to the point where adrien’s fanclub finds the MDC website that max helped her with and sees all the pictures of adrien and she’s sold out of commission slots in minutes. she becomes very popular after that and wins herself an internship at gabriel!

about the website- since people like heping mari with projects (she gives them free food and thanks them profusely for helping, and. well. no one in class can withstand the might of the dupain-cheng puppydog eyes) they are super willing to help her with modeling for and matinence of the site! max showed her how he set it up so she could fix it herself if she had to! in return she made markov a sweater. it’s adorable.

adrien, through tikki’s courage, is standing up to his father more. he’s no longer modeling as much for gabriel, he has more free time, and he gets to play music he wants to play, not just music gabey wants him to play. it’s... nice. he smiles more genuinely and laughs more sincerely and hes just! happier and more real.

copycat doesnt happen the same but it kinda does. im going the @zoe-oneesama route of having theo be in their school so its not super creepy for him to crush on minuit but dang is our boy crushing. however, red light has no reason to be jealous, so instead he explains that he and mini are too professional to entertain civilian crushes, causing theo to become stoplight, a ““hero”” that mini would then be allowed to date by hero law, especially since they’re already partners. mini is Conflicted because her cute spotti boy is flirting?? with her??? but then she gets a call from red while stoplight is still in front of her and shes like “oh fuck akuma” and wins the fight. it was weird for her to be punching her partner in the face, but she won anyways lol

every episode where alya makes a convoluted plan to get mari and adrien together still happens but her coconspiritor is adrien now. she knows mari has a Secret, Unattainable Crush but thats all she knows. she thinks its adrien though because mari is modest and modelboy adrien seems out of her league.

mari accidentally derails every plan just by her pure chaos energy. they were setting up cherry blossoms to rain down over mari while she sketched & adrien would come over to ask her out but she saw them sitting in the tree with the bin of blossoms and asked them for opinions on what she was designing. alix was gonna zoom by and make mari fall so adrien could catch her romantically and ask her out but when she fell she did a front handspring and landed perfectly. adrien is even more smitten.

in animan its basically the same thing? but with no secret alya, shes just not there. mari came because she loves hanging out with her friends and nino has a huge crush on her which. adrien is sad but he wants mari to be happy even if its not with him so he was invited but IS hiding in the bushes helping nino instead of being there. but then mari ends up setting up alya and nino and adrien is like “hope replenished yall”

animaestro doesnt exist. it just doesnt. that guy can suck it.

frozer happened because he was trying to ask her out and he panicked and asked her advice on asking out Unnamed Girl and she assumed kagami because theyre friends in this. adrien was too awkward to say no. mari sets up a date for them (milkshakes & skating) but they both separately ask her to come for different reasons. adrien just wants her there because hes crushing hard but kagami is nervous about her first date ever and she wants to get it right, so she asks mari to please be there. mari shows up with luka. this episode makes it clear that kagami and adriens intentions in asking mari along were not all that different actually maybe

thats it for now make sure to like and subscribe if you lik- *i am killed by an internet hitman for cringe on side*

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actualbird · 5 years

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Okay But.... a dghda au of that selkie post sounds Wonderful!!

im so very glad you think so because youve given me the perfect opportunity to ramble about what i think would go down

okay so a modern magic au where sometimes people have magic, people are some kind of supernatural creature, and it’s about as normal as people having different hair colors. enter our idiots

dirk gently, holistic detective selkie. the title isnt as catchy as he’d like, so he often drops the last bit because it isnt too important in his line of work. people dont need to know that he needs to stay somewhat close to the sea, that he gets antsy and anxious and weirder than usual when stuck in a landlocked place for too long.

they dont need to know that one of dirk’s jackets is actually his sealskin, disguised into something much less conspicuous than the traditional cloak or blanket, because he’s learned the hard way that people who want his holistic-ness will use anything and everything else about him to gain leverage and control over him, so it’s best to be careful. plus the jacket is really nice.

nobody needs to know that sometimes dirk wakes up gasping, not because of the usual nightmares, but because the crash of waves against the confines of his skull is so loud he needs to go and shift and swim immediately right now to breathe properly again. dirk doesnt even have friends, so there isnt actually anybody to ever tell

meanwhile, todd brotzman is as normal as sliced bread. a painful curse casted by a vengeful witch has run in the brotzman line for generations, and he lied about having it until amanda actually got the curse. You Know The Rest. todd made some weird kinda explanation that maybe the magic of the curse is wearing off, but You Know. thanks to this, todd is kinda not all that great about magic/anybody who has an ounce of it. he’s ruined his life with his own actions, he knows very well, but so has magic, so he’s a bit pissy about it.

anyway, it should be common knowledge in this kind of au to be aware and careful of supernatural creature customs. dont serve garlic to vampires, dont make dog jokes at werewolves, dont sign contracts written up by fae because the loopholes are intense. and dont ever, ever return a coat to a selkie unless you want to be married, but todd only has a vague knowledge about all of that and his mindless helpfulness just landed him into an accidental marriage, something he learns when the man he returned the dropped jacket to breaks into his apartment through the window and declares that theyre married now

(“We are not married! I don’t even know you!”

“That’s easy to fix,” the man extends his hand for a shake, flashing a bright smile at Todd. “Dirk Gently. Holistic detective, selkie, and your husband.”

“Stop saying that! This is a misunderstanding. I didn’t—” Todd frantically gestures at Dirk and his jacket. “I didn’t know you were a selkie. I was just trying to be helpful. I don’t want to marry you or—be married to you”

“Oh.” Dirk slumps, looking an awful lot like a deflated balloon. He looks so miserable that Todd almost wants to apologize. Dirk shifts his weight from leg to leg, looking sheepish now. “Well. This is a little awkward. You see, I already filled out and submitted the paperwork.”

“You did what?”)

in dirk’s excitement and want to show his capable-ness as a responsible spouse, he just went and did all the marriage forms and, by official selkie law and the power and magic vested in the ocean, dirk and todd are legally married and magically bound to each other til death do them part. this makes introductions really wild

(”Amanda, this is—” Todd bites back a sigh. Ever since this all went down, he’s been sighing too much. “Uh—”

“Dirk Gently,” Dirk leans past Todd and gives Amanda his business card, of all fucking things. “I’m Todd’s husband”

Amanda’s smile is slow and disbelieving but at the end of three seconds, it looks like all her birthdays have come at this exact moment. “You’re Todd’s husband.”

“Husband by selkie law. Soon to be not-husband,” Todd cuts her off before her smile and Dirk’s smile threaten to somehow give Todd an aneurysm. “We’re working on a divorce. Or, uh, the selkie equivalent of a divorce from an accidental marriage.”)

because obviously todd immediately wants this sorted out and undone as soon as possible, because he does not like magic or whatever other fuckery it may involve, and he just met dirk. so todd wants a divorce and dirk agrees, and they both try to ignore how awkward the whole situation is. but it turns out getting a divorce under selkie law is ridiculously complicated and necessitates basically a bunch of spells and quests to dissolve the link between them, and it takes A While.

basically it’s a weird romcom setup where, in the process of the convoluted selkie/human divorce, todd ends up developing Big Damn Feelings for dirk and doesnt know what the hell to do about it. he starts enjoying dirk’s uninvited presence in his apartment, he starts missing dirk when he’s gone, he starts cherishing every smile and laugh dirk throws his way. and generally todd learns that he’s so incredibly, monumentally fucked. in fact, thanks to todd typical self loathing, when todd does learn that he’s kinda falling in love, he works even Harder to get the divorce to happen because dirk is great, dirk is fantastic, and dirk deserves to be married to somebody who is a good person and that isn’t todd.

meanwhile, dirk Completely Understands that he was too hasty in making the marriage official, but is so so happy that in all this chaos, he managed to make a magnificent friend along the way. it’s not really important, dirk thinks, that he feels a little more than friend-feelings towards todd. it’s not that important when he feels the unbearable urge to shift, todd obligingly drives him out to the pier, politely averts his eyes when dirk undresses and shifts into something closer to magic, closer to the sea. it’s absolutely not important at all how happy he is, how hard he can feel his heart beat when todd looks at him in his seal form with an amused smile on his face, squawking when dirk dives back under and splashes water into todd’s face.

it’s not important and it doesnt matter because they’re getting a divorce, and dirk remembers very, very vividly that todd does Not Want To Be Married To Him.

the mutual pining is excruciating on both sides and it will inevitably continue stewing right up until the final stage of the divorce process where they finally end up confessing their feelings for each other in front of a bewildered selkie witness who is trying to figure out of these two morons are trying to get divorced or married all over again.

#dghda #hc #theyll go through with the divorce if only so that they can date and propose (in both human and selkie norms) properly #long post #dirk gentlys holistic detective agency

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