#umm I want to say I was anywhere between 10-12 when I first played
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BBRae Week 2021 - Day 3: Into The Woods
“Summer camp has been so much fun, Rachel. Teether hasn’t cried once since the day after you dropped us off, and Tommy got first place in the obstacle course. You were right, we should have done a camp last year, too.” Melvin chattered excitedly on the office phone while Rachel listened patiently. “They’ve made a bunch of arts and crafts, and the woods here are so cool. They’re really old, and Gar knows so muchabout all the trees and animals and bugs.”
“And who is this Gar, Melvin? A new friendof yours?” Rachel’s emphasis was obvious, and Melvin’s blush was practically audible.
“NO! He’s a counselor. He’s really nice, but he’s really old. Like, 50 or something. You’ll meet him on parent’s day next week.”
Rachel didn’t remember anyone older than the director, a middle aged woman she had spoken to when getting them enrolled and again during drop-off. She suspected Melvin was fibbing to cover her embarrassment, but she brought it on herself by teasing the preteen. “I’m sure I will. Does this mean that you’re going to drag me out into the forest when I come? I thought it was going to be an afternoon of arts and crafts and then some campfire songs, not a forced march.”
“Duh. Arts and crafts are lame. Gar said that next year he’d show us how to whittle, which sounds better than making lanyards.” There was muffled adolescent shouting, and Melvin covered the receiver and yelled back. “I gotta go. We’re going swimming. I’ll call you on Friday. Love you, bye.” She hung up before anything could be said back, and Rachel was left with dead air while Melvin sprinted after her friends, untied shoelaces flailing behind her.
Arriving at the aforementioned “Parent’s Day”, Rachel wasn’t quite sure what to expect. The camp had at first seemed like a good way to get the three adopted children outside instead of rotting their brains, but the sheer noise of a few dozen milling, clamoring kids and groups of socializing parents made her wonder what she had subjected them, and by extension, herself, to. She was late, which probably didn’t help the situation, but she looked around the chaos in an effort to find her own three chaos engines. Instead, she was spotted.
A wild, dirty missile made a high-volume impact with her legs, nearly toppling her and babblingso fast that even Rachel’s practiced ear couldn’t discern what he was saying. She was wobbling and about to fall over when a firm hand caught her upper back and helped her regain her balance. “Teether, dude! I said you could go get her, not try to body slam her.”
Rachel finally planted her feet, acknowledged Teether with a gentle hand on his head, and looked up. And up. They both froze for an instant, but the tanned, blond man recovered first. His slack jaw snapped into a smile, and he said “Hi. You must be Rachel. I’m Gar, one of the counselors here.”
His hand was still on her back and heat radiated from it like afternoon sun. Her face had never fallen into the silly expression his had, but unconscious thought raced before she could regain her composure. ‘Definitely not fifty,’ she thought. “Hello. Yes, I’m Rachel, Teether’s mother.” She peeled Teether from her leg with practiced ease, and he sprang off of her and ran.
Gar realized that his hand still rested behind her, almost possessively, and retreated to a more respectable distance. He chuckled, nervously. “Heh. Um, Melvin and Tommy are with their friends, still, but we should probably get them. Ms. Waller asked me to show you around – she said you had just moved to the area?” It wasn’t a question, but he phrased it like it was. They began walking back towards the milling crowd of parents, children, and quite possibly enough noise to drown out a jet engine.
“Yes, it’s our first summer here. She mentioned that most of the kids made this an annual activity, but I didn’t think we’d be so strange as to warrant a personal detail.”
“Oh it’s nothing like that, it’s just that there’s not really many other summer camps around, and ‘cause we go from K-12, we get pretty much everyone. A lot of the other parents already know everybody. You’re not strange, just… new.” His eyes never left her, even as they began walking.
Back with the crowds, Melvin and a gaggle of similarly aged girls watch the two of them. One of them nodded decisively and turned to Melvin. “Okay. They’re too cute together. Look at how awkward they’re being.”
Anotherhuffed a little. “They’re just staring at each other. They should be holding hands or something, right?”
Melvin’s eyes narrowed critically. “It’s been like 10 minutes and they aren’t kissing yet. Gar’s probably too much of a nerd to do anything. We need to do something to make sure they know how perfect for each other they are.”
“Like what? They aren’t going to start making out in the middle of the crowd.”
An evil smirk crept across Melvin’s face. “Maybe not in the middle of the crowd, but what if they were all alone in the woods? Then they’d have no excuse not to!”
A look of awe crossed her companions’ faces. “That’s evil. I love it.”
But the smirk fell, half-formed plot evaporating. “But how could we get them out there alone? It can’t be anything serious, or else Rachel will ground me forever, and I bet she won’t even go unless we can trick her into it.”
“Could you just tell her you feel sick?”
“No.” Melvin shook her head slowly. “Then she’d either stay with me or just take me home early.”
One, heretofore silent, chimed in. “I think I know what we can do. But Mel, you’re going to have to make a lanyard.” She giggled at the disgusted look, and said “C’mon, we only have like 15 minutes before they start wondering where we are.”
Across the crowd and a million miles away, Garfield and Rachel were, in fact, being tremendously awkward as they watched the kids run and play. Gar fumbled his words and couldn’t decide to stare at her eyes, the curve of her neck, or decidedly anywhere except her. Rachel was the opposite. She answered in short, monosyllabic whispers and swallowed, trying to ease her desperately dry throat.
“So, uh, you said you just moved here! Do you have a job, er, of course you do, unless you don’t! That’s fine, too! Nothing wrong with… that. Yeah.” He trailed off, before gamely trying again. “So what do you do when you’re not, y’know, coming to summer camps?”
Rachel took a deep breath and centered herself. Gar started. “I’m not, like, annoying you, am I? I’m sorry, I tend to blabber -”
“No. I’m just… a little off-kilter. I’m a curator of antiquities at the museum.”
“That is so cool. Gar’s eyes were like dinner plates. “I love the museum! I always wanted to volunteer there, but I never feel like I have time between summers here and planning classes during the year.”
“Oh, you’re a teacher? Grade school or high school?”
“High school and occasionally some classes at the community college. I figured I was already teaching AP and college bio isn’t much different. I’m sure the kids get tired of me after the sixth year, though, heh.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, uncomfortably warm even for a summer afternoon.
“I suppose they wouldn’t let you teach so many years if you weren’t good at the job. Not that biology is my area of expertise.” She clarified, hearing his unspoken question. “I studied history and preservation, so a natural history museum is certainly a big change.”
“Wow, I bet. Still, nobody does what they expected to when they were in college. I got a bachelor’s in Environmental Science, but it turns out most of those jobs are just telling corporations what they want to hear.”
Rachel leveled him with a newly assessing gaze. “Believe it or not, so are quite a few jobs in archaeology. It’s what put me off of the field.”
“But hey, teaching led me to Jump and to Lake Titan Camp, so I can’t complain.”
While the two nominal adults conversed, a far more intricate conversation was happening in the craft cabin. Kole, a pink haired co-conspirator of Melvin’s, was creating a half finished lanyard in pink and purple while the rest strategized. “Okay, so I need to throw her off so she’ll agree. The pink and purple color scheme is good – pink for me, purple for her, but I need something to knock her off her game.”
“You could tell her something that surprised her, maybe. But what?”
Realization dawned. “Okay. This is a little mean, maybe, but I was planning on talking to her about it anyway. I know just what to say. Kole, how’s the lanyard coming?”
“I’ve got it to the perfect length. Just long enough that you might ‘Need a little while to finish it, pretty please.’” She held up the dangling lengths of string. “Everything ready? We’re running out of time.”
“Now or never. Let’s go.” Melvin took a deep breath and led them to the doorway.
Garfield and Rachel were deep in conversation. The initial awkwardness had faded, and while there were still sparks flying whenever they made eye contact, it was more a static buzz than the almost painful live wire sensation of their first glances. At some point they had migrated closer to where Teether and Tommy’s two groups had merged into a supercrowd of children all making noise, forcing them to stand closer to one another to be heard. They were in this huddle, all focus on each other except for both of their frequent check-in glances to the children. Rachel had dipped her toe into a hint of vulnerability to test the waters, quietly and without fanfare explaining that she had adopted all three of them from the same orphanage she had found herself aging out of.
Gar reciprocated. “That’s really incredible. I was adopted pretty young by some family friends. I know how complicated that sort of relationship can be, but it’s doing something amazing for all three of them.”
Melvin, seeing their closeness, hesitated, just a bit. She was messing with fate, a little. But she was certain it was for a good cause. And it was now or never, they were already cutting it close to “Shared Activity Time” for her age group. “Umm. Rachel.”
“Yes, Melvin?” Rachel saw that Mel was nervous. Melvin was never nervous.
“I want to finish a project for you, but won’t have time later. So, uh, I need you to find something else to do. During the Activity Time, I mean. I just want to finish making this. Please, M-mom?”
Time stopped for Rachel. She had adopted them six years ago, and there had never been a time when Melvin had consciously called her “Mom”. Forms asking for “Mother’s Name”, sure. Mother’s day celebrations, absolutely. Even a few mostly-asleep, teary pleas, but never, never while Melvin was in control of her faculties.
But while time had stopped for Rachel, it marched onward for everyone else. Melvin held her breath and waited for long, tense seconds, but Rachel didn’t seem to be coming back to her senses, so she hurriedly spat out “Okayloveyouseeyousoon,” and fled back to the safety of her friends.
Gar, too, was frozen. Not to the same degree, nor for the same reasons, but he felt like he had intruded on something intimate that he had no business being a part of. He looked around, helplessly as Rachel gaped. After several seconds of silence, he couldn’t not do something. “Uhh. Rachel? You… okay?” More frozen immobility. He waved a hand in front of her face. “Rae? You there? Do I need to get a doctor?”
She seized his hand. “Did… did she just call me “Mom”? Or did I have a stroke?”
“Yeah, ouch. She did. I’m guessing this was new?”
“I… Yes. She’s never… What… what do I do? Was she angry I didn’t answer? Where did she go?” Rachel began looking around for her.
“Whoa, slow down. She’s with her friends. She wasn’t mad, it seemed like she was nervous, but not scared. And what you do is let her come to you and talk to her like you always do, and just make sure she knows you’re okay with it. As long as you are okay with it, right?”
“Of course. I just thought...” Rachel trailed off.
“Then there’s nothing to worry about! She loves you and just told you how she feels. That’s a good thing. Let’s give her a chance to do whatever she’s doing. The rest of the kids are about to go do an activity, so we have time.”
“I think I need to get away from the crowd for a minute. I can’t believe I’m asking this, but is it alright if we just go for a walk?”
“Of course.” Gar’s grip had at some point shifted to be holding her hand back, and he led her down a dirt path towards a grove of trees. “This path is quiet and not too hard.” Her sudden harsh look had him follow up. “You’re not really wearing the shoes for hiking, Rae.”
“Hmf. And since when did I say you could call me Rae, Garfield?”
He looked stricken. “I am so sorry. I dunno what I was thinking, Ra-chel. Rachel.”
She narrowed an eye. “Rae is… acceptable, as far as diminutives go. Just don’t make a habit of it in public.”
“Cross my heart. Hey, at least being a little mad at me put your mind off of Melvin, right?”
“And now it’s right back. So very helpful,” she deadpanned.
“Easy come, easy go, right?” His smile grew a little. “I don’t wanna pry or anything, but is it really that surprising? She said you were her mom like, a dozen times during camp.”
“I suppose not. It caught me very off-guard, though. Teether and Tommy sort of switch between Rachel and Mom, but Melvin’s never really seemed like she even wanted that sort of, I don’t know, ‘Official’ title for me.”
“Listen, the whole ‘mom’ thing isn’t as scary as you’re making it out to be. You’re already giving her the kind of love a mom is supposed to, and she loves you. She talks about all the time with stars in her eyes. Being adopted doesn’t make her less your daughter. Rita Farr isn’t any less my mom for taking me in when I was eight, and Marie Logan isn’t any more or less important to me just because she’s not around.”
Rachel took a breath and sighed it out. “Thank you. That does make it easier.” They walked in silence for a short time. “Wait, Rita Farr, as in the movie star? As in, the philanthropist and art collector, married to Steve Dayton?”
He blushed a little. “Whoops, probably shouldn’ta dropped that so casually, I guess. Yeah. Steve and Rita adopted me when my parents died. It’s not always easy, but I love ‘em.” He watched her reaction carefully, hoping she wouldn’t suddenly start treating him differently for having such well-known parents.
Rachel schooled her face after having that bombshell dropped on her. “Well, if we ever meet we’ll be able to talk about some historic pieces she has that I wrote papers on.”
A beat passed, then Gar’s loud laugh broke relative silence of the forest. “Aw man, she is gonna love you.”
And just like that, the tension was broken. All the concern, the lack of balance, everything fell away, and the static buzz of easy conversation punctuated by something just a little too close to intimate for an average friendship was back.
They wandered together down the shady paths, miles away and only a few trees distant from the campground. Rachel didn’t notice the distance she had walked on the formerly dreaded forest hike, and Garfield forgot to try quite so hard with his jokes and wise cracks. They walked, hand in hand and only somewhat realizing how close they were to one another, shoulders nearly touching.
The spell was eventually broken, as they always are. They rounded a final bend, seeing in the distance the campground they had left, what, less than an hour ago? And the reality that they had left behind when they entered the sun-shafted canopies woke them up, and they found that really, their hands were quite slick. Had they been clasped together the whole time? And Rachel, especially, was starting to sweat from the heat and the walk. Garfield was suddenly nervous, after all, he never talked this much, not without making a fool of himself.
But even after emerging from that hazy dream, they held on, gently rising out of the fog and into the real world so no sudden movements could disrupt the memory, the closeness that two almost strangers that fit together like complementary puzzle pieces had shared.
It wasn’t even fully dispelled when their hands slipped apart to be wiped on cargo shorts or dark jeans, though the almost hidden flight from behind a few low-branched trees of blonde hair and untied shoelaces and quiet giggle quickly sobered them.
Garfield turned. “Was that -?”
“Melvin. Oh, that little brat, she is too damn smart for her own good. I would put money on her scheming to get us alone.” Rachel fumed and her face tightened into a mask of cold anger. “I can’t believe that she would manipulate me like this! How could she – How could she finally call me -” and the mask broke, shifting from anger to near tears in seconds.
Gar panicked. “Whoa, hold on, no. She’s not that cruel, I know it and so do you. We’re probably missing something. You just said you can’t believe she would do this – she probably didn’t. Rae I promise you, there’s got to be an explanation that makes sense.”
Rachel took a deep breath, followed by another, centering herself. “I am going to get to the bottom of this. Where would she be doing this “project” she made up?”
“The craft cabin. I’ll take you there, but I guarantee you it’s not as bad as it might sound.”
It was like the crowd parted for them without even reacting. No one looked at the worried counselor or at the steely featured parent, but nonetheless they found their path almost unimpeded. Gar held up a hand just outside the door. “Let me get you two some privacy. Please.”
“Fine. Do it.” Terse and unhappy, Rachel’s displeasure was apparent in her voice, and it made Garfield wince.
He opened the door to see five preteen girls, huddled and tittering. At least until they saw him and his serious frown. Then their eyes went wide, and they looked to Melvin in a panic. “Out, girls. Clear the room. Not you, Melvin.” He stopped her when she tried to take shelter in the middle of the pack. He turned to follow them, and glanced back almost pityingly, then shook his head and exited.
The girls all ducked their heads when they saw Rachel just outside the cabin and hurried off, racing to be the first around the corner and away from the ticking time bomb.
Garfield simply nodded, and left her to it. Rachel entered the cabin and saw Melvin almost trembling, and it broke her heart. She had worked up a head of steam on the walk and the wait, but seeing her precious daughter actually afraid stopped any real anger and left only a bitter emptiness.
Rachel wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands. She settled on a vague, open armed shrug gesture. “Why, Mel? Was it just a prank? Just a way to manipulate me?”
Tears brimmed in Melvin’s eyes. “No, I just wanted to give you guys a chance to talk alone. I’m sorry I lied, I really did try on the lanyard, but I’m just bad at them so I had Kole do it. I’m sorry, I am.”
“What? What lanyard? Melvin, I don’t care if you had a friend help with a lanyard! I just can’t believe that you would call me your mom, just to trick me into talking to someone. I can’t tell you how badly that hurts me. I… I love you too much for that.”
“What!No, nononono, Mom, I promise that wasn’t a trick. I promise. I was gonna talk to you about it, but I just – I thought that if I – I thought that maybe if I just did it you’d just let me and maybe you’d talk to him and then it everything would be perfect. I promise. I love you, Mom. I do. And I was just trying to maybe make you not spend all your time watching me and talk to him. He’s really cool, and I could tell you like him, and he’s completely in love with you, and you’re perfect for each other. I was just trying to help you be happy!” She sobbed, breathless.
Rachel froze, then instinctively wrapped her daughter in her arms and let her cry. “Mel, you don’t need to worry about me. I am happy, I promise. I don’t need you to try to trick me into being happy. Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to say I’m not mad, but I get it. You don’t have to trick me into talking to, what did you call him, “really old, like 50 years old” guys? If we talk, we talk. That’s how adults work.”
“No, it’s not! I’ve never seen you go on a date, and you just ignore people when they try to talk to you. I know it was dumb, but I had to try something ‘cause otherwise you’d just give him that serious face until he ran away, and he’s perfect for you if you’d just give him a chance!”
“Mel. Mel, okay. I promise. I will give him a chance. But you don’t need to be worried about me. I don’t need a twelve year old playing matchmaker. You should be doing kid things, not bad romcom plots.”
“*SNRK*. They’re not bad. They’re sweet. And you like them, otherwise you wouldn’t have so many of them.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and glowered.
Rachel internally cursed Kori. “If you say so. Now let’s sit here for a minute, then we can go wash your face and you can go hand out with your friends. And I will have a talk with Garfield, and you will not stick your nose into my dating life. Understand?”
“Yes, mom.”
It still startled Rachel to hear that coming from Melvin, but it also warmed her heart. She hadn’t even known she wanted it until it happened, but it was like a spoken guarantee that she really was doing things right, and her little family really was working.
They sat together and Melvin showed her the lanyard that she had made via Kole. Rachel put it on the silver chain she wore around her neck and let it rest beside her heart promising mostly to herself that it would be kept safe at home. Then, when Mel had calmed down, they headed to the bathroom where Mel cleaned the tear tracks from her dirt-smudged face and rinsed her red rimmed eyes. Rachel gave her a final kiss on the forehead, and sent her off.
Gar found her standing there, staring off into space against the wall of the concrete shack. He leaned against it and slid down to sit around the corner and next to her. “So.”
“So,” she said back.
“Not saying it just to confuse you?” He glanced at her, gauging her reaction.
“No. But she wasn’t against confusing me.”
His eyebrow cocked. “Not mad?”
“Still mad. Still going to be grounded, probably. But she did it out of love.”
“Y’know, I don’t want to say I told you so, but...”
“But you totally want to say ‘I told you so,’” she finished for him.
“Yep. So what now?”
“Now, I guess I do what I was going to do before we had all this to deal with,” she said, the soul of nonchalance.
“What’s that?” he said, and when she didn’t respond, he stood up and looked around the corner. “Rae?”
“This.” with only his head around the corner, she turned and kissed him, gentle and sweet, and far too short for either of them. “I’d like to go out sometime. I want to take you to a behind the scenes at the museum, and I’ll let you choose the restaurant.”
His head spun and his eyes were out of focus. His thoughts were like molasses and he could barely get out the word “Okay.” before she was gone, a little bounce in her step.
AO3 FF.net
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Just Sorry?: A Mini Series (Chapter 13/??)
Author’s Note: After an extremely long hiatus I’ve finally updated this series. Thank you to everyone who has kept an interest in this story. It really means a lot to me. Enjoy the read~
Warnings: Following chapters will contain violence, mentions of drugs usage, sexual situations, daddy kink, rough sex and angst.
Previous Chapter: 12
“I really can’t believe Jaebum let me go to my fucking store opening all by myself! I looked hot as hell in my outfit too... “ Sumin sighed while pouring out her frustrations to her female housemates. All of the Seven Girls were seated at the dining room table as they enjoyed a large pizza pie for lunch. With the men working even on a Saturday afternoon, it gave the young women time alone to discuss everything that’s been going on in the mansion. Well...everything that they chose to disclose.
“Oh shut up Sumin. Wasn’t that like two week ago? Since then you two must’ve had sex at least 5 times.” Hana rolled her eyes as a soft chuckle was heard from Natalie. All the girls knew what had occurred between the CEO and the fashionista but they also knew that as soon as the two fought they’d be in one another’s bed within three days.
You couldn’t help to let out a little smile at Sumin for her crush toward Jaebum. The two were like fire and gasoline. Everything was hot and heavy when it came to their bedroom activities but communication wise; that was a tornado riding in on the peak of a tsunami. A total fucking disater. Thoughts shifting to the same night of their argument, the words Jaebum had shared with you has been on your mind ever since.
One date with Jaebum wouldn’t be so bad. In fact you were actually excited to finally be able to get to know even more about him. He was always focusing on work and satisfying his desires when needed, the other rarely allowed anyone in the house to know what was going on with him mentally. The only person you could think of being the brunettes confidant would be Jackson. And whatever was discussed between the two always stayed with them, But you wanted to be another friend in the house that Jaebum could confide in. When he calmed your anger towards Natalie and the blonde a few weeks ago you wanted to be able to do the same for him if needed. So why not take JB’s proposal.
Your only concern was that if Sumin found out about the date, would things change between the two of you or would she only just see it as you and Jaebum sticking to the contract and building a friendship like they have.
____
“Whatever, he's still an dick.” Sumin hissed as her fingers brushed against each other to dust off any remaining pizza crumbs that may have been lingering. Why did the brunette have to be so cold to her at the times she needed him the most. Of course she knew of their arrangement but the young woman had assumed that over the years the two would have developed a bond strong enough for Jaebum to take some time off of work to tend to her. Or maybe she was wrong for wishful thinking.
“Listen if you really feel upset about it. I say talk to him but we know how Jae can get so don’t be surprised if you don't get the response you want.” Natalie warned her friend before finishing up her cheesy slice as well. Once everyone had satisfied their hunger each one went off to their room except for you. Making your way towards Jinyoung’s studio your thoughts had shifted to the older male as you wondered if the last encounter between you two was the reason why the artist wasn't seen roaming around the halls as often as he did a few weeks prior.
Slowly opening the heavy wooden door, your eyes began to soak up the various colors that painted the walls. Usually Jinyoung liked his studio’s walls to be a light grey with black borders on each side. But today the walls were decorated in colorful images on different types of drawing papers. Most of the art works were sketches of birds, cats, and buildings. But one seemed to be an old woman sitting down on a train station bench. Her facial expression was stressed as there were large shopping bags on either side of her thin legs.
Looking closer at the drawing, her pale hands had wrinkles and even several veins sprinkled about. One hand resting on her lap as the other tried to keep her bags from falling to the ground. Anyone looking at the piece could see that the weight this elderly woman carried on her was more than just from the bags. And that’s what made it beautiful. How Jinyoung was able to create something so detailed as well as meaningful was something you would never comprehend.
Allowing yourself to explore more of the artwork around the room, your eyes stopped at the artist’s desk as the sketch he was working on the same day of his breakdown rested on top. It was of you resting on the couch as your hands were lifted into the air. A small smile was on your lips yet your eyes were closed as though you were blushing.
Fingers running along the edges of the paper, as you soaked up the masterpiece in front of you, you were thankful that Jinyoung had asked you to be his muse. It allowed the two of you to have intimate moments together that no one else in the house would understand. Jinyoung was the only person you would talk to when you felt the most alone. He was your first friend when you entered the mansion and soon became your best friend along with sharing intimacy that went beyond sexual.
Setting the drawing aside, your eyes were fixated on a yellow bottle that had a prescription for ‘Clozapine’ written on it. Not knowing what the specific medication was used for, you began to look it up on your cell phone. With the knew found information, your eyebrows pulled together in confusion as you tried to process the possibility of the artist having schizophrenia. Did he tell anyone else about it? Does Jaebum or Jackson know? They must have. But why did he hide this from you all of this time? Of course everyone is entitled to sharing their own personal matters in time when they feel comfortable enough. But why didn’t you see any signs that something serious was going on with the other? Heart feeling heavy, you placed the pills down where you found them and sighed.
“Oh Jinyoungie...”
You had to speak with him.
____
“Look Jae that’s all I was able to get on them. They’re playing warehouse employees to the T” Jackson shrugged his shoulders as him and the brunette reviewed the security cameras. “You told me Yongguk would be here tomorrow night to pick up the cargo. Now whatever happens once that shit leaves the building is not our concerns. I’m not trying to have this company get into hot water over this scum.” The blonde spat at the mere thought of Yongguk setting front anywhere near IM company or him.
“Mmm you’re right. It’s one thing selling our own supply we can handle the heat but Yongguk has heat of his own I don’t want on my ass.” Jaebum agreed. Mentally punching himself for actually going through with the plan, the brunette could only hope that everything goes according to plan or else Yonnguk would have more than hell to pay. ”But like it or not the man has ties in places we’ve been trying to get into for months. And with the Bangtan Guys getting even more popular within the underground scene we can’t afford to lose ground there either.”
Letting out a huff in agreement Jackson rose from his seat and made his way towards the door of Jaebum’s office. There was no need to stay and watch four men lifting buckets of cement. “Whatever, but when Yongguk gets here I definitely won’t be. I can’t stand to see his face after everything that happened to you.”
“Yeah well I’m dealing with that in my own way. But for now...let’s just get this money.”
___
“Daddy’s home!!!! Please tell me there’s pizza left I’m starving.” Bambam yelled out from the entrance as the rest of the men dragged their tired bodies towards the living room. Limbs thrown across pillows and armrests to say finishing up working 10 hours on a Saturday was draining was an understatement.
“Umm...No we’re going to have baked chicken with veggies tonight. And Pizza?! We had that like 4 hours ago I’m definitely not having that twice in one day” Natalie shook her head as she went over to Youngjae and handed him a bottle of water. Getting a smile and a loving stroke of the young male’s fingers against her shoulder made her shiver with excitement. It seemed the two young adults were spending more time together and the rest of the house knew it was only a small matter of weeks before they would become official like Mark and Hana.
“Umm...Jae, do you mind if we spoke in private for a second.” Sumin hesitantly walked up to her boss as she noticed the sudden arch of his left eyebrow. Maybe if she was to actually explain what’s been going on in her mind to Jaebum he would understand where she was coming from.
“Yeah sure...” He motioned for her to follow as they made their way towards his office. Once there, Jaebum eased himself in his office chair as he looked up at Sumin standing in front of him. “What’s up?” He asked slightly annoyed that he might have to deal with another argument with Sumin instead of filling up his empty stomach.
“Okay so the last time we actually spoke I was calling you an asshole and I really don't want that to happen again. The truth is; I’m kind of disappointed that you wouldn’t accompany me to my Busan opening. It was something extremely important to me and I just wanted you to be there. As support. I mean you’re the only one in this house that actually helped me out with my boutiques and I just thought….I don’t know I really just wanted a friend there that’s all” Sumin confessed as her eyes didn’t dare to look the other in the face, afraid to see the look of rejection coming for her. “We’ve been working together for nearly 4 years now and I felt as though we created a bond between us that was along the lines of friends. And the other day just seemed as though you didn’t see me as more than just a simple fuck and not as Sumin. A friend.” She added even though a friend was less than what she really wanted to be considered to Jaebum. But revealing her feelings would only lead to hurt and she couldn’t face that just yet. So being a friend to the other would be good enough at the moment.
“Look Sumin, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off that way. That day wasn’t a good day for me at all. You know more or less what’s been happening with Yongguk and I was on edge. But you’re right I should have been there for you. As you said… We’re friends” Jaebum looked into her eyes as he emphasized the word for her to understand that was all that was going to happen between the two. A friendship with the designer was the best thing that could work for them. Their personalities were too strong for anything beyond that to work out and Jaebum knew she wanted more but he wouldn’t be able to give it to her. Maybe after their talk both parties would be on the same page again. Reaching out to pull the petite girl close to him, his arms wrapped around her hips as he smiled. “I care for you a lot Sumin and I will always be here for you but I can’t be someone's boyfriend. I just can’t.” He spoke before raising one of her hands to place a soft kiss on it trying to ease the rejection he spilled on her.
His words hurt. They hurt so much Sumin thought that if she didn’t leave now, her eyes would betray her and the tears would begin to fall. But to her surprise, they never slipped out once he placed that kiss to her hand. That kiss was enough for her to hope that if they couldn’t be together now, one day he would realize that she was the one for him. And until then she would be waiting, Waiting for Jaebum. “And I don’t want a boyfriend. I just want you Jaebum, I want your friendship” She reassured the other and ran her hands through his now shoulder length black hair. If friendship was all she was going to get, she would hang on to it until the time came for them to become one. She was willing to hang on to that hope.
No matter how long.
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★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.
TAGGED BY: stole it from @hyacinthsgirl
TAGGING: @vermillion-eyed, @jerseydeviled (Jessie), @victeux (Princess), @pxndxrasbox (Vicky), @gokusxtsus (Kirishima), @aemiliius, @deflcresco, @lachrymosestorm, @devilkxssed, @cinneasachd (Dottie), @agricolis, @destinedhearts (May), @cachinnavi, @avellaturortem (Regina), @enchairr (Aedus), @deathsdue (Mila), @nthdivision (Momoko), @burmecias-protector, @cirocchio, @museatory (Tane), @eyecovered, @absolutelaw
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
“Hirahara!”
2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?
“Eh? Only humans ‘n yokai ‘n spirits have ‘real names!’ I’m not any of those, so Hirahara is my real name.” He said that, and yet for a split second, it felt like a lie.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?
“Um... because it’s my name? It’d be weird if someone started calling me one’a the other guys’ names.”
4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?
“Well, I’m not bein’ taken anywhere right now, so I guess I’m single!” A mischievous glint in his eye hinted that he knew what the question really meant.
5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?
“Ehh... don’t think I have any! We just get trained really well. But I’m a lot stronger ‘n everyone except Rokkaku-san. ‘N my teether’re sharper than everyone else’s too.” He scratched his chin in thought. “Um... well, all of us can see spirits! I can smell them too. I can also smell the blood beneath people’s skin. Oh! And we can come and go between the underworld and the modern world. Hmm...” he looked as if he might add something else to the list, then seemed to think better of it. “That’s it!”
6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
“Gold~!” He paired his response by using two fingers to pry his eyelids open wider. “What, can’t ya see ‘em? I’ve been told they’re too obnoxiously bright for anyone t’ miss ‘em.”
7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?
“Nah-ah!”
8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?
“Ehh...” His face went blank for a second, but the smile returned as usual. “Not really! But, um. Saeki ( @gokusxtsus ) helps us all out a lot, so he’s like a brother. And everyone’s always sayin’ Kinoshita’s ( @gokusxtsus ) like the big brother of the group-- the alcoholic big brother. And, w-well,” a bit of red dusted over his ears, “...I call Kirika-san ‘auntie’ a lot.” His eyes lit up. “Oh! Emily ( @aemiliius ) kinda makes me think of a big sister, too!”
9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
“Yeah, Giara! He’s a... guess the best way t’ pet it is demon bull. We tried to eat him at first!”
10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.
“That’s easy: Pain. I hate pain.”
11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
“Mhhm~! I like t’ train, wrestle, read manga, listen to Saeki play the piano ‘n Tagami play the guitar, eat grass with Giara, go out explorin’, play pranks with Kirishima, make snake food-- oh! And recently, Saitou-san brought back this thing that we hooked up t’ the TV that lets you play games on it! Also, finding new things to eat is fun.” He ended his long list with an enthusiastic chomp of his teeth. “Ah-- I’ve started crafting stuff too. And Tanizaki says I spend a lot of time acting like an idiot, so I guess that’s a hobby too.”
12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?
“Oh yeah, all the time! I do it a lot on accident too.” A shadow passed over his face temporarily, this one inkier than the slanted darkness that typically obscured the upper half of his face. “Hmm... I still gotta apologize...” he mumbled to himself, the rest of his words too quiet to hear.
13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?
“Not anyone mortal ‘n living! That’s against the rules, unless it can’t be helped.”
14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?
“A lion.” He answered this question without a hint of hesitation.
15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.
“Umm...” his eyes narrowed. “Let’s see... I probably over-eat a lot. Ehh... I bite too much, and sometimes I can’t stop talking. I tend t’ try to grab stuff outta people’s hands without warning when I want to see it real bad. Uhh... I get told I need to be more mindful’a personal space. Mmm...” he didn’t seem to have any issue with owning up to his flaws, of which he had many-- up until again, that uncharacteristic somberness came back. “...I get outta control when I get overstimulated one too many times.”
16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?
“Yup! Saeki ( @gokusxtsus ) since he’s so good at everything, Chris ( @hyacinthsgirl ) ‘cause she’s really fun but mature at the same time, Kirishima ( @gokusxtsus ) since he’s so responsible, Emily ( @aemiliius ) ‘cause’a how gentle but tough she is, Victoria ( @pxndxrasbox ) because she’s super cool, and I think all of us look up to Rokkaku-san ( @gokusxtsus ) as the chief.” He tipped his head to the side and rubbed the back of his neck. “I admire Tagami ( @vermillion-eyed ) a lot too, since he’s smart and really cool when he does stuff... uh, yeah! That’s it!”
17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
“Huh?” He hasn’t quite figured out what most of these terms mean in modern language.
18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
“Nope! Tagami tutors me sometimes though.”
19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?
He blinked a few times. “I don’t think that’s possible. I--” he cut himself off and furrowed his eyebrows. “Dunno. Never thought about it!”
20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?
“Yup! I keep one in my room, right by my futon ‘cause I sweat a lot in my sleep during the summertime.”
21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?
Hirahara cocked his head, smile going blank for a second. “We’re not really afraid’a anything, I think.” Silence elapsed for a moment. He sucked in a short breath. “I really don’t like the thought of not bein’ able to move, though. And--” the thought of being left to starve terrifies me. “I don’t like getting super hungry.”
22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?
“My uniform!” He patted the starch green jacket of said uniform.
23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?
“Love someone? Well, I think I do!” His smile widened. “Saeki says it better than I do, but I like all of us! And I’ve met a lot of people I think I love, too. But um... I don’t think I really get what love means?” He saw now reason he shouldn’t admit to that, and so continued on, “Like, I know there’s different versions of it besides the marriage kind of love, but...” he trailed off and shrugged. “...ehh... I’ve gotten funny feelings about someone recently too.”
24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?
“Huh?”
25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?
“Lots! And I wanna make more!”
26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?
“Kirika-san makes the best!”
27. FAVORITE DRINK?
“Hm, I like soda a lot.”
29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?
“I can’t just choose one favorite place!”
30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?
“Interested?” He cocked his head, completely at a loss. “Whaddaya mean by that?”
31. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?
“Either’s fine with me! Now that I think about it... I dunno when the last time I went to the ocean, so it’d be fun to go there soon.”
32. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?
“My type of what?”
33. ANY FETISHES?
Cue a smile and an extremely blunt answer: “I’ve never had sex before, so how can I have a fetish?”
34. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?
“Uh-- what?” He might have known what a fetish is, but he doesn’t know what any of these terms mean aside from their traditional definitions. “I... don’t know?”
35. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?
“Camping~!”
36. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?
“Nope! But since it is, let me interview you now!”
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TMI no one asked because I’m hella bored
1. What is you middle name? - Susanna
2. How old are you? - 27 but soon turning 28
3. When is your birthday? - 24.3.1991
4. What is your zodiac sign? - Aries
5. What is your favorite color? - Don’t have one, all colors are nice
6. What’s your lucky number? - 13
7. Do you have any pets? - Officially I have a cat, but it lives with my parents now. But he is always my baby boy and I miss him badly.
8. Where are you from? - Finland
9. How tall are you? - 161 cm(about 5′3) so not that tall.
10. What shoe size are you? - 40 or 41(about 25.4/25.7 cm)
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - Maaaany, but I only use three pairs.
12. What was your last dream about? - Can’t remember.
13. What talents do you have? - Singing, rapping(I’m not very good tho but I try). I love to try new styles in singing.
14. Are you psychic in any way? - I want to believe I am.
15. Favorite song? - Right now... Propably Stray Kids’ My Pace. I can relate to that song so much.
16. Favorite movie? - I don’t know, but propably one of the horror movies I have watched. Or Tim Burton movie, I love them.
17. Who would be your ideal partner? - Too hard question to answer. Maybe someone who is as open-minded and kind of out place kid as I am. I still feel like I don’t belong anywhere so I am all over the place.
18. Do you want children? - Not really. Maybe if someone that great comes along that I really want to start a family, sure. But for now I’m not really into the idea. I like pets more.
19. Do you want a church wedding? - Again, not a big fan of the idea.
20. Are you religious? - I believe in something, but I don’t necessary believe in God and all the things in the Bible. I have kind of made up my own beliefs.
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Two times.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - No. I have been a good kid.
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Some Finnish ones and some Japanese.
24. Baths or showers? - SAUNA!
25. What color socks are you wearing? - I’m not wearing any right now.
26. Have you ever been famous? - Not that I know of.
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Naaahh.
28. What type of music do you like? - I can listen all kinds of music, but mostly I listen either metal and rock or kpop and jpop(or Japanese music in general). I also love instrumental music a lot.
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - When I was little.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - Two.
31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On my back, or on my left side.
32. How big is your house? - I live in a two-room apartment.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Eggs, and sometimes bacon.
34. Have you ever fired a gun? - No.
35. Have you ever tried archery? - No, but I really want to!
36. Favorite clean word? - Ummm....
37. Favorite swear word? - In Finnish; voi saatana, vittu. In English; fuck, god dammit.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - Maybe about two days? I’m not sure.
39. Do you have any scars? - Yes, many. Who doesn’t?
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Then he/she was so secret that I never got to know.
41. Are you a good liar? - No. I’m very bad at it.
42. Are you a good judge of character? - I think so.
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - Yeah if I reeeeally try.
44. Do you have a strong accent? - I don’t think so.
45. What is your favorite accent? - Irish and Australian accents are so fun to listen, I like them a lot.
46. What is your personality type? - I will throw in some 16 personalities shit. According to that test my personality type is INFJ and I don’t have hard time believing that.
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - Shoes? I don’t use a lot of money on clothes.
48. Can you curl your tongue? - Yeeeeeah.
49. Are you an innie or an outie? - I’m something in between. I don’t like to be alone at home that much and that’s why I usually visit some friends or just go somewhere by myself but I don’t like to be a long time away from home.
50. Left or right handed? - Leftieee.
51. Are you scared of spiders? - Not the little ones but the big ones are so scary.
52. Favorite food? - I don’t have one.
53. Favorite foreign food? - Sushi.
54. Are you a clean or messy person? - I think I’m pretty clean.
55. Most used phrased? - Umm..
56. Most used word? - Ummm!
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 10 minutes if I’m very fast.
58. Do you have much of an ego? - More now than before but I’m still pretty ego-free person. I think.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - Suck.
60. Do you talk to yourself? - All the time!
61. Do you sing to yourself? - Of course, again, all the time.
62. Are you a good singer? - Yeah.
63. Biggest Fear? - To be left alone.
64. Are you a gossip? - No I hate that.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Is Black Swan dramatic?
66. Do you like long or short hair? - More on the shorter side.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Hell no. Can even all the Americans do that?
68. Favorite school subject? - Art, Finnish and English.
69. Extrovert or Introvert? - More on a introverted side.
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - No.
71. What makes you nervous? - When I am center of attention.
72. Are you scared of the dark? - Sometimes, but mostly not.
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Sometimes.
74. Are you ticklish? - Yes.
75. Have you ever started a rumor? - I don’t think so. I hope I’m not.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I can’t remember.
77. Have you ever drank underage? - Actually... I think I did not drink much underage. I mean I tasted alcohol but never really drank. So I guess not.
78. Have you ever done drugs? - No.
79. Who was your first real crush? - Someone in my junior high school.
80. How many piercings do you have? - Two.
81. Can you roll your Rs?“ - Of courrrrrrse.
82. How fast can you type? - I don’t know. I would say I’m pretty fast writer.
83. How fast can you run? - Not fast.
84. What color is your hair? - Blonde.
85. What color is your eyes? - Dark greyish blue.
86. What are you allergic to? - Nothing!
87. Do you keep a journal? - I write once in a while.
88. What do your parents do? - They are both retired. They use to have a farm.
89. Do you like your age? - I actually hope I could be a bit younger. There is a lot of pressure about several things right now.
90. What makes you angry? - Insensitive people.
91. Do you like your own name? - I have grown used to it, I still like my middle name more.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - Nooooooooo.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both are fine, I don’t have preference.
94. What are you strengths? - I get along with most people, I’m pretty positive and smile a alot.
95. What are your weaknesses? - Too soft and also insecure.
96. How did you get your name? - I don’t remember even though I have asked that before. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal.
97. Were your ancestors royalty? - That would be cool! But I don’t think so.
98. Do you have any scars? - Eyyyyy are you playing with me? I have many scars as I said already.
99. Color of your bedspread? - Grey
100. Color of your room? - Depends on which room. My bedroom has a wallpaper which is very pretty but it’s kind of light. So nothing crazy there.
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➧ 85 questions
tagged by: @jencto ty my love! ♡
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people @ohdaddy-nct @dcyoungs @rxnjuns @reunjun @angelita-gordita @taeybear @taezhu @lycheechann and all who wants to do!! (only if u want too bbs)
↳ Last…?
1. drink ─ hot burning coffee that i almost spilled while driving to class bc it’s pouring outside
2. phone call ─ laura (my friend who just graduated high school !!)
3. text message ─ my mom (telling me to drive safe in the rain uwu)
4. song you listened to ─ jump by shinee (the album = a whole ass bop)
5. time you cried ─ oof i cry for the lamest and dumbest reasons but last night i was looking at nct fanart and i saw a cute ass noren one where jeno was dressed in a big moomin costume and wished renjun a good day w/ a ballon and it was all hella cute and shit lemme find it i rb on my personal (THIS ONE) it was,, so cute,, i actually cried,,
↳ Ever…?
6. dated someone twice ─ oof i rarely date let alone the same person twice lmao yikes
7. kissed someone and regretted it ─ i kissed this huge asshole in high school for a dare and he wouldn’t stop saying we had sex for a whole ass week,, this is why i dont date
8. been cheated on ─ nope
9. lost someone special ─ yeah but that’s the circle of life i guess :(
10. been depressed ─ oof did you mean: my four years of high school
11. gotten drunk and thrown up ─ uhh psh no i don’t drink underaged,,, mhm
12. fave colors ─ WARM TONES!! nudes (skin colors), maroon/burgendy (just like a dark bloody red), rose gold/dusty pink (the light shade of pink but not pastel), black (just bc), royal blue (the only cool toned color i like idhhdh)
↳ In the last year have you…
15. made new friends ─ yO making new friends is my middle name (i love making new friends !!)
16. fallen out of love ─ i’ve never BEEN in love...
17. laughed until you cried ─ if it’s after midnight, anything will make me laugh and cry (also i laugh at everything so yes)
18. found out someone was talking about you ─ lmao hell yeah high school drama everyone was out for me bc i look like a bitch and people are so quick to judge ://
19. met someone who changed you ─ umm not really everyone’s pretty chill. my roommate, who’s also like my best friend, is a huge party addict so she brings me to many parties, so i guess i’m more out there ? idk moving on
20. found out who your friends are ─ literally once i graduated high school and went to college, all of the snakes just left and now i’m surrounded by my real friends uwu :^] why tf is everything related to high school i don't wanna remember that
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list ─ bruh i only have facebook so i can get extra rewards on iphone games ksjkdj
↳ General
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl ─ refer to #21
23. do you have any pets ─ i, myself, don’t have one bc i live in a dorm, but back at home, i have a doggo. she’s a thai ridgeback and her name is 巧克力 (qiao ke li = chocolate) and i miss her vv much :’))
24. do you want to change your name ─ for the most part no, i like my name, but when people call me ‘ran-you’ or something of the sort, i question why i live in america
25. what did you do for your last birthday ─ i traveled around china alone (well with my two friends back in china) without my parents for the first time bc i was an Adult™ now
26. what time did you wake up today ─ i was supposed to wake up at 8am but i didn't roll out of bed until 8:30am but hey, i made it to my 9am class 10 minutes early somehow
27. what were you doing at midnight last night ─ looking at nct fanart on tumblr and wishing that i coud draw/paint like that :’))
28. what is something you can’t wait for ─ my trip to spain!! i’m traveling to spain for 2 weeks with my friend at the end of june to july and i’m so excited bc i haven’t hung out w/ him in forever
30. what are you listening to right now ─ i’m in my accounting 2 class rn,,, so my professor lecturing about debits and credits (yes i know i should be paying attention but i’m an independent learner so i prefer reading the textbook and taking notes,, i’m just here bc attendance is graded)
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom ─ my old high school teacher whose first lecture was about corn and how it’s in EVERYTHING that is mass- produced today,,, well his full name is actually thomas
32. something that’s getting on your nerves ─ it was raining as i was walking to class and even though i had an umbrella, somehow my pants are still all drenched and this lecture room is SO DAMN COLD and i’m shivering someone save ME
33. most visited website ─ my school website lol
34. hair colour ─ jet black but in the sun it turns reddish brown ?
35. long or short hair ─ super long, it reaches my waist lol
36. do you have a crush on someone ─ does renjun count? jk kinda ?? but not really bc,, idk dating doesn’t really act as a major objective for me right now
37. what do you like about yourself ─ friendliness and outgoingness ?
38. want any piercings? ─ oof i already have a lot but i want more yes (i have 3 on both my lobes, 1 on my both cartilages, and on my right ear i have a snug ? is that what it’s called idk) lowkey highkey i wanna pierce my nose but we’ll see
39. blood type ─ o
40. nicknames ─ all nicknames i’ve ever gotten: ren, renu (my baby cousin calls me that bc she can barely pronounce words), fish..., nyu, rennie, r, human fish, + many puns on my name
41. relationship status ─ single and tired
42. zodiac ─ scorpio
43. pronouns ─ she/her
44. fave tv shows ─ the office, black mirror, we bare bears, law and order, futurama, stranger things, bob’s burgers, bate’s motel, american horror story (i love the duality between cartoons and fucked up shows dsdkjh)
45. tattoos ─ i want ones !! (prob small in hidden places) but um maybe once i graduate undergrad at least
46. right or left handed ─ right handed
47. ever had surgery ─ no - kinda? i have a scar on my eyelid bc when i was like 3-4 y/o, i was playing hide and seek w/ my uncle and cousin in china and i was running around and i turned quickly around a counter the same height as me and the corner of the counter cut open my eyelid,, this is kinda tmi but i was so stunned bc blood was running literally out of my eye so i didn’t even cry, i just stood there like ‘oh...that’s a lot of blood...’ i went to the ER to get it stitched up but idk if that counts as surgery :p
48. piercings ─ refer to #38
49. sport ─ currently i play volleyball and basketball for club, but played a lot in high school too
50. vacation ─ anywhere i love traveling !! also east asian,, mostly just china i miss my friends and family :’))
51. trainers ─ ?? uhh as in shoes? or the gym? idk,,
↳ More general
52. eating ─ as in what i ate today? if so, a bagel and a boiled egg for breakfast
53. drinking ─ coffee that’s now cold rip
54. i’m about to watch ─ uhh my professor continue talking about accounting and economics
55. waiting for ─ this class to end so i can eat lunch
56. want ─ a change of pants bc i’M WET AND COLD
57. get married ─ i sure hope so
58. career ─ i want to start and own a fashion brand/company/line (i’m double majoring in international business and trade + leadership management right now)
↳ Which is better
59. hugs or kisses ─ both i just want affection ;((
60. lips or eyes ─ these are hard to pick but eyes !
61. shorter or taller ─ taller even though i’m pretty tall as it is
62. older or younger ─ older or the same age ? (rip sorry renjun)
63. nice arms or stomach ─ arms? i need you to be able to put me in a chokehold and KO me (not in a kinky way,,, maybe,,,)
64. hookup or relationship ─ relationship duh ?
65. troublemaker or hesitant ─ team too-lazy-to-be-either
↳ Have you ever
66. kissed a stranger ─ uhh prob not
67. drank hard liquor ─ no officer i don’t drink underaged mhm
68. lost glasses ─ i literally have like 6 pairs of glasses that i keep thinking i’ve lost but then find it again
69. turned someone down ─ oof yeah sorry
70. sex on first date ─ no i have standards
71. broken someone’s heart ─ i hope not ! at least not intentionally
72. had your heart broken ─ prob once or twice
73. been arrested ─ in my good christian household?! (i’m not even christian tf)
74. cried when someone died ─ well of course i have a heart
75. fallen for a friend ─ all my friends are hot as fuck no lie
↳ Do you believe in…?
76. yourself ─ always :D !!
77. miracles ─ eh,,
78. love at first sight ─ maybe not LOVE but something similar
79. santa claus ─ i-is he not real... (i’m kidding dbksj)
80. kiss on a first date ─ sure why not
81. angels ─ renjun is a walking angel on earth
↳ Other
82. best friend’s name ─ vincent, alyssa (my two fave people)
83. eye colour ─ dark poop brown
84. fave movie ─ i watch too many to have 1 favorite but for the sake of this tag, i’ll say coraline
85. fave actor ─ i have a big gay crush on dilraba dilmurat also tom holland
el fin
#tags#personal#this is such a long post sorry mobile users ifhdihs#uhh ignore typos i'm in class#honestly this is so much info about me wow#i'm not very interesting or funny tho so#yall prov just gonna scroll pass its OK lol#YALL DILRABA IS SO FUCKING HOT AND CUTE I LOVE HER#google her if yall don't know smh
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Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. I was tagged by @dyannehs
LAST:
1. Drink: Water
2. Phone call: Myself. Because I lost my cell phone. Outside of that, my mom!
3. Text message: One of my awesomeful friends of awesomeness who I’ve nicknamed Hux (she’s the Hux to my Kylo!)
4. Song you listen to: A nerdy composition project I’m working on. *grins* It’s a secret ’cause I’m gonna share online when I’m done!
5. Time you cried: Actual-actual cry? Don’t remember. Tears in the eyes? Maybe like two days ago? Yay for being broke.
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: Yes, I have dated the same person twice, and both experiences were quite wonderful indeed! And I’d probably date her a third time if life came around to it - both times we broke up came from us being too timid to do basic communication about relationship goals. We’re still really good friends rn - honestly either as friends or as dates, I’m happy either way!
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes
8. Been cheated on: Not in the sex way, but my first relationship ended because my current gf was hitting blatantly on someone in front of my face, and while we were talking about maybe doing a poly thing, this hitting-on-someone-else was in the venue of putting aside and ignoring me, and that wasn’t okay.
9. Lost someone special: Yes.
10. Been depressed: Oh shit I forgot my depression meds again... *runs to take them* Umm. Yes. The answer’s yes. High-functioning depression, here I am, prime example. Yayyyy [sarcasm]
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink alcohol so nope.
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Silver
13. Chocolate brown
14. Black
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: Aye!
16. Fallen out of love: Not really? I mean I don’t know how to explain it.
17. Laughed until you cried: Thanks to Lance and Kaltenecker, yes.
18. Found out someone was talking about you: I guess my coworkers thought I was quitting instead of just reducing my hours, so I had to fix that rumor chain straight.
20. Found out who your friends are: I think that’s always an ongoing thing in life. This year, I’d say that I’ve had reaffirmations that the people I care about care about me, so that’s really awesome. It’s wonderful to know that people are thinking of me. And I’m thinking of you, friends!
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yep!
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: About 99% of them. It’s very rare for me to add an internet friend to my FB contacts.
23. Do you have any pets: No. My apartment only allows cats and dogs, and I want guinea pigs again. ;_;
24. Do you want to change your name: I’m proud of my name and have used it as a source of inspiration (it means “pure”). That said, in the last few years, I feel increasingly distanced from my name and honestly think of myself far more as being named “Haddock.” Haddock is my name, my birth name is second. Still a good name, but I’m a Haddock.
25. What did you do for your last birthday: On the day itself: relaxed, bought myself froyo, Skyped family, chilled, was awesome. The general-ish week of my birthday: had a dinner with family, stayed up and binged all of VLD S4 the night it came out, hung out with a friend and also binged VLD. Basically, a lot of VLD.
26. What time do you wake up: The number fluctuates quite wildly day-per-day because “sleep schedule” is a myth. Today, I got up at 11 AM.
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Answering asks on tumblr and PMing/texting a few good friends.
28. Name something you can’t wait for: Having enough money to live comfortably and not stress every time rent week comes around.
29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: A few days ago, Friday.
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Oh where do I fucking start... Well. The biggest thing is I’d do is go back in time and prevent a terrifyingly bad argument/falling out with my ex/ex best friend that happened in 2011-2012, not because I want to still be friends with this person (I don’t anymore), but because the experience was very... traumatic... to both of us and I’d love us not to live with those mental scars. I’m still getting over those scars and it sucks.
31. What are you listening to right now: The composition I’m working on.
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah. Don’t know anyone well named Tom, though. One of my coworkers is a Tommy if that counts?
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: There’s one wonderful friend of mine who’s going through a really challenging time. I want to help them so badly, but they’ve been closed off and hermitting themselves to the point I think it’s harmful for them, it’s hard to contact them to help them, and they live too far away for me to check on them in person easily. I want to do anything to see them in person to help, or to talk to them, or anything... sitting in silence makes me very worried because this wonderful human soul deserves all the love and support they can get for what they’re going through.
34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Netflix, Google.
35. Mole/s: I have two bumps on my forehead, one to either side. I jokingly call them horns, but they’re not evenly lined up, and the one on my left is much larger than the one on my right.
36. Mark/s: Bellybutton scar from a second degree burning incident, lots of scars on my hands right now from falling on concrete two months back, lots of scars on my wrists from a whole bunch of whatnot (I even have one from my sophomore year of high school when a school binder scraped me?), oh. And I have basically leopard-speckled shoulders from countless acne/pimple scars. For unnatural marks... three tats! Plans to get at least two more.
37. Childhood dream: To be a published, bestselling author or a college prof.
38. Hair color: Currently dark brown with bleached bangs and a strip on the right side. Natural hair color is what I call “dusty brown” and some people would call dirty blonde; it’s in that random in-between blonde and brown where the top is blonde-ish and the bottom is rather brown.
39. Long or short hair: I have the conundrum of enjoying my hair either really long or really short. I’m in the process of regrowing it to the long stage. It’s sort of at the bottom-of-the-shoulder-blades/boob length now. Goal is to go back to waist length.
40. Do you have a crush on someone: Does Takashi Shirogane count?
41. What do you like about yourself: Honestly, quite a lot? XD I’m very thankful to be a nerd who is apt to learn anything from sciences to arts and music and sports. I’m thankful to be a musician, a composer, a creative writer, an animation junkie, an analytical and logical mind, a complete and utter NERD beyond belief who lives in nerd culture. I love my appearance, I love my facial hair, I love my eyebrows and face shape, I love my body shape, I love that I’m left-handed, I love that I’m not conventionally pretty. I love being a Christian. I love being aroace. I mean when I’m not in a depressive, self-deprecating mode, I really am proud and thankful to be who I am all across the board; there’s very little that I dislike about myself. Mostly what I dislike is my current life situation of not being anywhere career-wise. Everything else, pretty happy. :)
42. Piercings: Two on each earlobe and one halfway up the cartilage. Dammit and I wanted like a dozen piercings by this type in my life. Get me a more stable paycheck and we’re fixing this!
43. Blood type: O+. Most common blood type, woot?
44. Nicknames?: I’ve had a terrifying slew of nicknames over the years. Currently, the most common ones are Haddock, King, (Kylo) Ren, Spock, and Toast.
45. Relationship status: Single in my chill natural habitat.
46. Zodiac: I am so bitter about my Zodiac sign I refuse to say it even though it’s not too hard to figure out what it is given other answers to this meme.
47. Pronouns: He/his/him, though honestly I really don’t care too much what people toss at me.
48. Favorite TV Show: Voltron: Legendary Defender.
50. Right or left hand: LEFT-HANDED WOOOOOOOO LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFTY PRIDE YOOOO!
51. Surgery: When I was nine I had four baby teeth and then the four adult teeth under them removed. Basically, a wisdom tooth like surgery but younger and with different teeth.
52. Hair dyed in different color: FUCK YEAH! I was getting really bored of my natural hair color but was keeping it natural for the purpose of looking professional (job searches). I’d been wanting to reinstate some purple and black again, but with my current job only allowing “natural” hair colors, I decided I couldn’t go that route. Instead I bleached the front and dyed the rest dark brown in a sort of inspiration from Takashi Shirogane.
53. Sport: I played soccer all growing up, so much fun. Love jogging. Sports are great, miss having the opportunity to do team stuff. Also really enjoy watching professional gymnastics, soccer, American football, and especially tennis.
55. Vacation: I want to see so many locations oh my fuck. My “to go to” list includes Bhutan, Nepal, China/Tibet, Mongolia, Cambodia (again... come on I miss it!), Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Japan, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom (England & Scotland), Norway, Canada, Peru, Mexico, South Korea, India, Myanmar, Austria, Germany, Iceland... um. Yeah. You. Get the picture. I NEED TO TRAVEL, YO!
56. Pair of trainers: Uh they’re like really raggedy and old and stuff
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: I’m snacking on M&Ms again, like always.
58. Drinking: Water, though methinks I shall make some homemade ginger tea.
59. I’m about to: Probably go shower. It’s 3 PM and I still am in my pajamas.
62. Want: To fucking write and do NaNo and yet life’s been busy and I haven’t had the time for a word but I HAVE SO MANY VLD FANFICS I WANT TO DO AND AURGHGHGHGHGHGH the goal is to somehow write and finish my universal translator mix-up one this month???? We’ll see! Translators, stay tuned, and thanks again for offering to help!
63. Get married: 97% of me doesn’t want to get married I think?
64. Career: Linguistics consultant of doom. Not sure if this can be a career but if I could, I would enjoy continuing the remote work. To explain: I currently work contract positions with various companies who hire me for short-term projects, in which I use my linguistics expertise to analyze and annotate large sums of data according to certain guidelines.
65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I. LOVE. HUGS. SO. MUCH. HUGGGGGMEEEEE! I always look closed off in my body language but I swear the inside of me is always going “Giff me the cuddles and don’t let go.”
66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes are the most gorgeous thing about humans seriously.
67. Shorter or taller: I prefer to be the short one in all social situations.
68. Older or younger: For friends, I’m chill with whatever age you are. Dating, also chill, though I think I tend to prefer being slightly older just ’cause that’s how most of my relationships have been? But really doesn’t matter.
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. Nice arms are unique for me. I’m pretty happy with lots of different stomach types I see - tummies just are cute! :)
71. Sensitive or loud: A combo is fun but what I look for most in any platonic or anything relationship is someone with a deep heart. I want friends with whom I can confide in anything... so has to be that sensitive side (sensitive-logical if that makes sense is what I like best).
72. Hook up or relationship: I’ve done random PG hookups? But my answer for this is relationship; hookups are only fun for short-term boosts of self-confidence and not being 100% genuine and just being like carefree “whatever” for a night (make sure you both know you’re just doing the hookup night though, please guys, no deception!). Long-term relationships though are glorious like none other for their emotional power. <3 That is pure beauty, caring for someone deeply with lasting loyalty. But of course ya’ll know me... I find nothing more beautiful to cherish than deep platonic care!
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Combo of both!
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a Stranger: Yeppers
75. Drank hard liquor: Nope
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes ugh I have no clue where one of my pairs of glasses are again
77. Turned someone down: Yes
78. Sex on the first date: I’ve had sex never so this is an easy answer
79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes
80. Had your heart broken: Yes
81. Been arrested: No
82. Cried when someone died: Yes
83. Fallen for a friend: Yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84: Yourself: Yes, typically
85. Miracles: Absolutely
86. Love at first sight: I mean I don’t deny it happens. It happens. But I don’t think it’s pragmatic to think that’s what’ll happen to you.
87. Santa Claus: Come on, of course North and the Guardians are kicking Pitch’s butt!
88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not
OTHER:
90. Current best friend name: I don’t have one best friend right now. A few of my current closest friends are named Josh, “Hux”, Keith, JuLee, Rachel, Peter, and Meredith.
91. Eye color: Brown
92. Favorite movie: HOW DO I PICK ONE FAVORITE MOVIE FUCK YOU?? The Prince of Egypt, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the How to Train Your Dragon movies, Pacific Rim, there, I made a list.
Uhhhhh let’s so who should I tag... if you want to do it... @akkeyroomi @the-mr-eggplant @chiefrosepetal @thefuriousnightfury @insaneskye @fanwriter02 @dragonpride99 @jettara @margarethelstone @shailyesshadow @hubwalker1 @godguy0001 @theravenfliesagain @frosty-viking @jackthevulture @hiccup-is-left-handed @dragonnan @spacekeet @nightfury326 yaknowwhat I am not going to count but we’ll say that’s about 20 XD
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“Summer No. 74″ — Day 3 — 4,922/50,000
Behind the house the sun was making itself known. Still behind the horizon, or maybe just the hills and trees. Judy preferred the hills, the trees. Sitting here on the old sofa staring into the morning night, not hung over but a few inches of center, she remembered the trip she made in high school to see her dying great-grandmother. This was the first time she’d travelled with her mother’s fiancé. The three of them drove through the secretive evil hills of North Georgia, through the softer evil hills of Alabama, the evil flat forests of North Mississippi, then the in the flat evil of Louisiana and finally arrived in the unending plains of North Texas. Judy and her mother hadn’t gone west for at least 5 years, when she was 12 or so, at which time Judy was so spiritually desolated that she never took in anything around her.
They went back and forth between a now estranged uncle’s home (suburban and unthinkably ugly, an arrangement of blocks with tremendous pitched ceilings) and a hospice center (just typically ugly, like all spaces in the thrall of death). On the last visit to the hospice center, Judy knew she’d be seeing her great-grandmother for the last time. The air on this February day was empty and vicious. Out the window, she saw the barrenness of the plain. On the horizon she saw a few little hills, undeniably just a subdivision, and then it all came together. This was a death. A dry, indifferent, wintry flatness.
A drop of an adult beverage, “the ol’ glug glug” in Jeremy’s terminology, and Judy was up at 6 on the dot. When she was up this early, Judy came out to sit on the damp couch and through the screen of tree limbs watch the world wake up. Already a pair of laborers had passed by, talked about how bad the bus schedule on this side of town was. Then there were the joggers that always caught their breath sitting on the half rotted log next to the road. Then the cyclist. Now, a break in the activity. Around 7:10, another batch of joggers, then students heading to their 8 AMs, and then and then and then. Sometimes it felt overwhelming, but Judy loved the endless procession of the world, of people’s elaborating on the business of their lives. Judy, for her part, felt most in herself running errands, Making Phone Calls, the kind of silly day-to-day shit that makes it possible to take care of her self. If she could tend to her body, broken and miserable as it was, then everything else was more tolerable.
Finally awake enough, caffeinated enough, Judy gave some brain space to last night. After drinking and showing each other different playlists on their phones, they played with the BB gun and shot all their bottles apart, the front yard turned over to glass and pellets. Kathleen got the PS2 she kept in her backpack and showed Judy and Jeremy this thing she found in Final Fantasy XII, then Ken in their sports bra and boxer briefs gave a reading of some choice passages from The Uncollected Dan Brown. Around 2 they all fell asleep cuddling on the futon Judy unfolded in her room. Who could want for more?
Well, more sleep and something to eat. Judy was hungry and feeling sort of queasy from all the coffee. She fried an egg in butter until it was crisp and terrible, then ate it on a dry piece of wheat toast. Even though her hand was a bit shaky from the coffee, she closed her eyes on the loveseat. In a caffeine dream, several dozen read lines expanded and contracted to a song that did not sound like, but that definitely was, “Take My Breath Away.”
The she gasped away as Kathleen shook her and said loudly, “Judy!” Judy sat up so quickly that her and Kathleen hit foreheads. There was a ‘Klonk.’ Jeremy was rocking back and forth while sitting on the arm of the loveseat, and the arm rocked with him. “What time is it,” Judy asked, her voice half of a groan. Judy reached for her phone and saw that it was 7:30 AM, she’d been asleep only about 20 minutes. “We’re going to go hang out with Marshall at the bakery for a while and then head over to the print shop,” Kathleen said with a sleepy dreaminess, “Do you want to come with us?” Judy smiled slightly at the idea, then, propped on an arm of the loveseat, saw the washing machine. “Ughhhh. I gotta do a few chores, for moving out. I’ll come in around….1? Is that okay?” Jeremy leapt to his feet— “1! You want to come in at…1??” A pause. “Yeah 1 o’clock should be fine.” Kathleen nodded in agreement. “Yeah, come on in at 1. We’ll save you something.” Kathleen hugged Judy and gave her something between a peck and brush on the cheek— sensuous.
When she heard the door close, Judy sat up and stared at the floor. She stared at it some more. Then she went and ran the load of clothes she’d left in the washer the day before. She played a Match 3 game on her phone for a while then closed herself inside her room. She still couldn’t imagine that she was leaving, and that this room, with its rough wooden floors that slanted at a different angle at every point in the room. She decided to smoke a cigarette in her room as a dumb, minor act of having been here. Paint flakes fell like pollen as Judy opened the old window, lit a cigarette and hunched out into the hot heat. The A/C chugged like a train, nearing it’s fifth death of the summer. Soon, she’d be back at her hometown, bored and belabored. No more waking up at 2 PM, or crying in front of the gas station, or setting off fireworks in the clearing by the tracks. Misery! Her bare torso scraped against the wood of the windowsill, splinter lodged in her rib. “How overloaded. This window is a rotting Longinus,” Judy said aloud to her empty house. Thinking about this summer, she felt the way it’d been a folding and folding of stereotyping, the sadness, the flatness, the seeming meaningless days punctuated by overloaded nights. In spite of that, in spite of the way she could feel herself rubbing against the walls of possibility, she felt good that she knew that, at least— that there could have been more. She wanted to feel the regret raher than not know there was something worth regretting. And she dreaded going home, and being in her old room, and her mother’s ex-husband, and the starchy traffic jams near public schools, and she dreaded being aware from her friends, even if it was only an hour away. An hour in any direction anywhere on the world could mean anything. An hour north or south or earlier or later, it mattered. Judy moved her laundry.
The book return slot on the exterior of the library had been bolted shut for the last month. Judy walked into the air conditioning— noon and the heat outside was in its full swing— and felt the slight quiet pleasure of being in a pretty public library. This one was late modernist, low ceilings and wide avenues, with a few po-mo touches for new public study rooms. She approached the front desk and the librarian on duty, a soft-faced man with a piece of paper taped to his light jacket saying “He/Him Pronouns.” Judy made sure to give off extremely transgender energies.
“Hi, how can I help you today?” The librarian was in a brief mood. Judy set the books, close to tumbling, onto the desk. “Hey, I need to return these books.”
“Ok. Let’s see here,” and he swiped book after book across a red light scanner. Each book was accompanied by a throaty bark that Judy (shrewd one) figured meant they were overdue. This would be a thing.
“Are you aware that this books are overdue, some of them by several months?” The librarian was bored and a bit acidic.
“I’m not, um, surprised. What’s the fine?”
“Seventy-four dollars and thirty-one cents, exactly.”
“Well. Interesting. Anyway, they’re not mine, so, I’ll, uh try to get in touch with my friend about it. Umm, I’ll try calling him now, actually. Let me step outside.”
The librarian was unconvinced but turned back to his work. Judy rushed back to her car and exhaled from how hot it’d already gotten. She drove back home and stuffed the laundry, mostly dried, into a trash bag. While there, Dani came from her room. “Hey. So, I was at the Little Roll this morning, and saw Jeremy and Kathleen.” “Oh,” Judy asked, trying to get a read on Dani’s ambiguous tone.
“Yeah.”
“Uh, okay,” Judy said, sort of offput. Dani walked back into her room and shut the door. Judy checked her room to make sure there was nothing else to take down to the donation center. She remembered there was a stack of records in her trunk that her old roommates had given. No doubt they were now melted. She brushed aside the thought of looking at them.
Even having done so little in this crusty house, time had gotten away from her. Judy threw her bag into the backseat and drove to the big donation center.
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1-100 - for the unusual game!
1-Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?
♧ spotify!!
2-is your room messy or clean?
◇ messy well if I have to be honest my room is messy and clean at the same time if that makes sense lol.
3-what color are your eyes?
♡ my eyes are light brown and I love them.
4-do you like your name? why?
♤ I hate when people call me by my full name, but I love it cause it means lilac in Bulgarian and I really like lilacs - they smell really good!
5-what is your relationship status?
♡ ??
6-describe your personality in 3 words or less.
◇ a baby, emotional, caring.
7-what color hair do you have?
♧ I'm usually a brunette, but atm my hair color is a mix between dark purple and brown.
8-what kind of car do you drive? color?
♤ I dont drive.
9-where do you shop?
♡ lots of places actually, but I dont really know the names lol
10-how would you describe your style?
◇ I dont even have a style lol, I just love clothes that are comfy.
11-favorite social media account?
♧ tumblr and Instagram.
12-what size bed do you have?
♤ I dont really know the size of it but it fits just 1 person.
13-any siblings?
♡ I have an older sister.
14-if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?
◇ Spain, Russia or UK, just because I love them.
15-favorite snapchat filter?
♧ I dont have one.
16-favorite make up brand(s)?
♤ I dont really wear make up, so I dont have one.
17-how many times a week do you shower?
♤ I shower everyday and wash my hair every 3 to 4 days.
18-favorite tv show?
♤ switched at birth
19-shoe size
♤ in depends on the shoes, but anywhere between 39-41.
20-how tall are you?
♤ 166cm (5'5)
21-sandals or sneakers?
- sneakers all the time!
22-do you go to the gym?
-yeah, sometimes.
23-describe your dream date
-on the beach.
24-how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?
-my money are not in my wallet rn, so none haha
25-what color socks are you wearing?
- one white and one black.
26-how many pillows do you sleep with?
- one or two.
27-do you have a job? What do you do?
-im a cashier at a grocery store.
28-how many friends do you have?
-idk I dont count them? Lmao
29-whats the worst thing you've ever done?
-i'll keep this to myself.
30-whats your favorite candle scent?
- I dont have one, they make me feel sick.
31-3 favorite boy names?
- August, Santos, Miguel.
32-3 favorite girl names?
-Mia, Lilian, Cara.
33-favorite actor?
-i dont have one.
34-favorite actress?
-chloe grace moretz
35-who is your celebrity crush?
-chloe grace moretz and Billy eilish.
36-favorite movie?
- lost and delirious.
37- do you read a lot? What's your favorite book?
- yes and the book thief.
38- money or brains?
-brains!! I dont care about the money.
39-do you have a nickname? What is it?
- уиуи(idk how it's spelled in English lol) and Lil.
40-how many times have you been to the hospital?
-lots of times. Let's say it's more than 20 haha
41-top 10 favorite songs?
1. Halsey- nightmare
2. Skillet -hero
3. Skillet - monster
4. Skillet - Feel invincible
5. Hayley kiyoko- what I need
6. Panic! At the disco - hey look ma I made it.
7. Gabbie hanna - butterflies
8. Gabbie hanna - pillow case
9. Gabbie hanna - perfect day (a True story)
10. Gabbie hanna - Medicate/broken girls.
42-Do you take any medication daily?
- yes I do.
43-whats your skin type? (Oily,dry,etc)
-oily
44-what is your biggest fear?
-dark, rejection, death, ghosts.
45-how many kids do you want?
-2or 3
46- what's your go to hair style?
- dont really have one, depends on my mood and how lazy I am haah
47- what type of house do you live in? (Big,small,etc)
-i live in an apartment.
48-who is your role model?
-my mom and gabbie hanna
49-what was the last compliment you recieved?
-umm I think it was that I'm beautiful, idk.
50-what was the last text you sent?
-"Happy birthday you old bitch. Thank you for everything you've done for me, I'm so lucky to have you as my bestie, don't forget that I'm always with you, right by your side, and don't you dare finding a new bestie in Germany. Wish you all the best and ilysfm ❤❤❤🍰🍰🎂🎂🎂🍰🎂🍰"
51-how old were you when you found out Santa wasnt real?
- I was pretty young I think - somewhere between 6-8 years old - I recognized my grandmother's handwriting on one of the gifts haha.
52-what is your dream car?
- range rover.
53-opinion on smoking
(Ghh I'm getting tired of answering those questions haha)
it's bad, dont do it kids (I smoke, but still)
54-do you go to college?
-nope I dont.
55-what is your dream job?
- a writer or a photographer.
56-do you rather live in a rural areas or the suburbs?
-maybe a rural area idk.
57-do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?
-ive done it just once, haha.
58- do you have freckles?
-yess, really small one around and on my nose, but I want more.
59-do you smile in pictures?
-yes, even tho I hate my smile.
60-how many pictures do you have on your phone?
-3780.
61-have you ever peed in the woods?
-mhm.
62.do you still watch cartoons?
-yes I do and I love them.
63-Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy's or McDonalds?
-ive never tried chicken nuggets+we dont have wendy's in Bulgaria.
64-favorite dipping sauce?
- ketchup.
65-what do you wear to bed?
- a tshirt or just my underwear.
66-have you ever won a spelling bee?
-whats that??
67-what are your hobbies?
- writing, reading and taking pictures.
68- can you draw?
(I'm already bored and I have to finish cleaning my room ooof)
no-no, I can't.
69-do you play instruments?
-nope.
70. What was the last concert you saw?
-i dont really remember tbh.
71-tea or coffee?
-coffee of course!!!
72- Starbucks or dunkin donuts?
-never been to dunkin donuts if we even have them in bulgaria and I dont like Starbucks soooo...
73- do you want to get married?
-yes.
74-what is your crush's first and last initial?
- 🤫🤫🤫
75-are you going to change your last name when you get married?
-im not sure cause I love my last name!!
76-what color looks best on you?
-black? Idk.
77-do you miss anyone rn?
-yes I do.
78- do you sleep with your door open or closed?
-closed.
79. Do you believe in ghosts?
- yeah and I'm afraid of them.
80-what is your biggest pet peeve?
-loud chewing
-people who chew gum loudly.
-people who talk on loudly on the phone.
-noisy eaters.
-tapping, clicking oens.
And a lot more
81-last person you called?
-my mom.
82-favorite ice cream flavor?
- chocolate.
83-regular oreos or golden oreos?
-regular.
84- chocolate or rainbow sprinkles.
- I hate sprinkles.
85- what shirt are you wearing?
- a crop top t-shirt
86- what is your phone background?
87-are you outgoing or shy?
-shy asf.
88-do you like when people play with your hair?
-i absolutely love it!!!
89-do you like your neighbors?
-i like some of them and hate some of them.
90-do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?
- and night and in the morning
91-have you ever been high?
-yes, a few times.
92-have you ever been drunk?
-yup, I have.
93-last think you are?
- chocolate.
94- favorite lyrics right now?
- "You like broken girls because they make you feel put together.Broken girls, rip it open then you'll kiss it better"
95-summer or winter?
-spring and autumn haha
96-day or night?
-night.
97-dark, milk or white chocolate?
-dark and milk.
98-favorite month?
- August 🥰😍
99-what is your zodiac sign?
- pisces.
100- who was the last person you cried in front of?
- I think it was my aunt.
#ok that was tiring#thank you#anon#anon ask#ask meme#ask game#ask and answer#ask me questions#ask me anything#asks#ask me anons
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These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go
Tagged by @katyaton heyyyyyyy!
RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…yeah I don’t know that many people...)
tagging: @deaded123 @showmethestarlight and if anyone that follows me wants to please do but you two are the only ones that actually reply to these things and I can’t be arsed to go through all of my followers when no one does them anyway :D
1. coke or pepsi: coke definitely
2. disney or dreamworks: oh god ummm i love disney cos that was my childhood but dreamworks have done some truly amazing films and they gave me how to train your dragon which i love far more than is probably normal...
3. coffee or tea: *whispers* both definitely both...I drink so much coffee and tea and currently green tea I’m probably 70% hot beverage at this point
4. books or movies: ah fuck. um I have to say finding a favourite book feels so much better than a favourite film but like I literally work in the film industry so I honestly love them too but yeah imma have to say books (that was really difficult D:)
5. windows or mac: windows cos it’s what i know
6. dc or marvel: um I’ve seen more marvel so I’ll say marvel but I’m not particular opinionated on the matter
7. xbox or playstation: I am abysmal at playing games so again not really my question. however i have finally worked out how to use my housemates xbox as a dvd player so woo
8. dragon age or mass effect: I don’t play them
9. night owl or early riser: Permanently tired pigeon here but more of a night owl.
10. cards or chess: Oh god um actually can’t choose because i grew up playing card games and i really love them but i have a massive sentimental personal thing about chess so yeah i can’t choose here
11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate what am I? dumb?!
12. vans or converse: Converse
13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: I do not understand
14. fluff or angst: um in like fic reading or my life?? because my favourite fan fics are often angsty ones but I get wayyyyyyyyyy too emotional about them and yet still tend to read them over fluffy ones. Yet in actual life my life has enough problems please cover me fluffy things i’m tired
15. beach or forest: beach because there’s sea but i fucking love forests so much!!
16. dogs or cats: Cats!! but puppers are great too!!!
17. clear skies or rain: Fucking rain I love rain!!
18. cooking or eating out: I really like cooking it’s what I resort to when I’m having issues with life not working out.
19. Spicy food or mild food: I don’t like massively spicy food but I will fight you over bland food so like somewhere between the two??
20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: I only really started doing halloween like a couple of years ago but i do enjoy it (woo for fancy dress) but i do really love christmas!
21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: cold definitely i hate the heat. It was 15 degrees c today (59 fahrenheit thanks google) and i was dying and complaining most of the day
22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Shapeshifting!!!!
23. animation or live action: Again with the whole job thing, live action but i love animated films too!!
24. paragon or renegade: eh?
25. baths or showers: i shower more often but my house doesn’t have a bath and i really miss it. also currently with my leg injuries i would love a bath because they ache so bad D:
26. team cap or team ironman: umm i don’t know?? I’m not gonna choose sorry
27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy but scifi is awesome!
28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so what are they: Presume not that I am the thing I was - Shakespeare Henry V
The planets and heavens will move for you. - this is a quote from a poem @deaded123/ @breathingtheworldinwords wrote for me which is my favourite poem
I am constantly coming across quotes i want ot remember but i never write them down so yeah...
29. youtube or netflix: netflix
30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter but am currently working my way through the percy jacksons series which i do enjoy and rick riordan is an awesome human!
31. when you feel accomplished: when i remember how far i’ve come from what i was and how hard i’ve fought to be where i am now. Also I once forgot what happened in a battle on an history exam so proceeded to talk about the battle of helms deep and cut the orcs and elves. I got 100% on that paper. ;)
32. star wars or star trek: star wars......it was my childhood and i love it so much
33. paperback books or hardback books: i do love me a good hardback but my paperbacks have kept me company for a long time
34. horror or rom-com: ummm i’m not great at horror but it depends so i’d probs watch the rom com and just be cynically sarcastic throughout...(the fact that i enjoy rom coms when i’m not great and actual romance annoys myself)
35. to live in a world without literature or music: that is just mean :P but i’d have to chose literature as my life is based around stories
36. pastel colours or dark colours: dark definitely!! other people look aweosme in pastels but i don’t like wearing them and honeslty just feel kind of suspicious of them as a colour group (i have no idea why i have such storng opinions on pastels or why i am suspicious...)
37. tv shows or movies: Tv shows as you go through so much more. Also it suits my attention span better
38. city or countryside: can i have like a town?? i love the countryside but i also need to be around other people or i get very morbid
39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i don’t understand??i’m a leo and honeslty haven’t looked at the others enough to know the traits!
40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: i would currently choose one of sia’s albums as just yes
41. cinema or theatre: cinema because i love films but i do enjoy theatre
42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: hmmmmmmmm i honeslty don’t know as my favs are people like me but being around someone like me as a best friend is kind of an odd thought...pass?
43. smiling or smirking: smiling to me means just being free and comfortable to be happy and smirking in my mind is the silly little in jokes that tyou have with friends in the middle of a conversation or when you’ve thought of something inappropriately funny both of which i do a lot.
44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: all or nothing probably
45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle because i’m too lazy to make playlists
46. travelling or staying at home: Travelling,but i like to have a base somewhere. but yeah i get bored of places easily and am not attached to anywhere as a ‘home’ as a concept i’ve never really got that feeling about anywhere? um it’s hard to explain so i’m just gonna stop cos i don’t know what my point is
47. books or fanfiction: both are literature and they’re both stories and i fucking love stories in all forms! right now i’m reading more fanfiction because when i need to work lets get lost in emotions about fictional characters right?! but seriously i have a bunch of favourite fanfics which i keep rereading and most are novel length so like not much of a difference!
48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: the chronicles of ixia world probably but like god there are so many that i’d want to be in!!
49. your favorite cartoon: um i don’t really watch that many cartoons... cacn i claim the Dragons tv series that accompanies httyd? it’s animated......
50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past:
um ok so i have a bit of a weird thing about my music in that i don’t like talking about it too much...i’m getting better but yeah i don’t want to answer this :)
51. mountains or plains: Mountains!!!!!!! they give me liiiiiiiiiife
52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice is the first anime i’ve watched and honeslty have fallen in love with it and it has ruined my world right now (it’s what my anxieties are currently directed out instead of at my work which i’m cool with) and the only other one i’ve seen is ouran high school host club which i actually watched half of yesterday whilst working as a friend loves it, it’s amusing :)
53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: err i don’t really do social media much. i have facebook to talk to uni people, a couple of group chats with home people and it’s the only contact i have with my dad’s side of the fam as most don’t live in england but i don’t actually post anything except about work i’ve got donea dn funny photos of my friends. obvs i have tumblr which i overshare about myself way too much but this is probs a very accurate summary of my shit sense of humour, tv shows, and everything else in my head! though i do sometimes get concerned about my oversharing on here cos y’know internet safetyand all D: oh i have snapchat too but i mainly use it to talk to 2 friends one is in germany so i can’t ring her like i used to and the other we pretty much just send each other selfies with a lot of heart emojis! i’ve been debating getting instagram but haven’t decided yet...
54. What are some of your passions:anyone that knows me or reads my frequent oversharing will know i work in costume stuff so yeah i can literally talk about costuming and historic fashions for days and not get bored so yeha don’t ask about that unless you ready to learn!! ;) um i’m also an archery instructor, really love drawing, and just yeah the various tv, film and book obsessions that i go through (currently it’s yoi but i do try and keep my obsession from fully taking ove rthis blog-80% of it is still my shit sense of humour
55. Favourite food: I will fight everyone to get a proper roast dinner with yorkshire puddings and also chocolate.....and pomegranates.....and sugar snap peas......
This was fun!!!
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Ehlers Danlos Syndrome EDS
TRANSCRIPT
Ron: [00:00:30] Hello and welcome to another episode of podcast DMX. The show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a medical diagnosis. [00:00:40][10.4]
Lita: [00:00:41] I'm Lita. [00:00:42][0.2]
Ron: [00:00:43] I'm Ron. [00:00:43][0.2]
Jean: [00:00:44] And I'm the guinea pig. [00:00:45][1.0]
Lita: [00:00:47] Collectively we are the hosts of podcast D X this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for a professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or a treatment. And before undertaking a new health care regimen and never just regard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. [00:01:16][29.6]
Jean: [00:01:18] Now on future episodes we have many interesting people to speak with about a wide variety of different medical conditions and diagnoses but in this episode we will be discussing a rare set of disorders that fall under the category of Ehlers Danlos syndrome which we will abbreviate from this point forward as E D S. [00:01:39][20.9]
Ron: [00:01:41] E D S or a group of connective tissue disorders that can be inherited and are varied both in how they affect the body and in their genetic causes. They are generally characterized by joint hyper mobility that is joints that stretched further than normal, skin hyperextensibility. Again, skin that can be stretched further than normal, and tissue fragility. There are 13 subtypes, each one being diagnosed through genetic testing. The hyper mobile type does not have a genetic marker identified just yet. This type is diagnosed by a physician using something called the Beighton Scale, which includes a variety of tests to give reference to the amount of hyper mobility involved in the patient. The connective tissue of a person with EDS is not structured the way it should be. Some or all of the tissue in the EDS affected body can be pulled beyond normal limits which causes damage connective tissue can be found almost anywhere. It can be found in the skin the muscles tendons in the ligament the blood vessels the organs in the gums the eyes and so on you get the picture. [00:02:58][77.6]
Lita: [00:02:59] That's right. Run. I bet you got that right off the EDS Society website. [00:03:03][4.1]
Ron: [00:03:04] Was it that obvious? I wanted to make sure that we were giving the most accurate definition to the listeners out there. The link for EDS Web site along with more detailed information regarding EDS can be found on our Web site PodcastD X dot com. [00:03:21][16.9]
Lita: [00:03:22] Well now that we know the definition of EDS, I guess it's time to point out the actual symptoms that a person with us experiences. The first is typically joint hyper mobility loose or unstable joints which are prone to frequent dislocations and or a subluxations, joint pain, hyper extensible joints., (they move beyond the joints normal range) and early onset of osteoarthritis. [00:03:52][30.1]
Ron: [00:03:55] Lita, what's the difference between a dislocation and subluxation. [00:03:57][2.2]
Lita: [00:03:59] Well a dislocation is defined as the separation of a human body's two bones from a joint or area where the two bones come together. In time, if treated incorrectly. It can lead to ligament or nerve damage, which will hinder the patient's body movements. A partial dislocation is referred to at times as a subluxation. This is the result of an incomplete separation of the bones that come together at the joints. [00:04:28][29.1]
Ron: [00:04:30] Wow. Either way they both some pretty painful. [00:04:32][1.9]
Lita: [00:04:32] They sure do. Pain is a huge problem with EDS. It can also turn into a chronic early onset debilitating musc, musculoskeletal pain similar to fibromyalgia. Another common issue with EDS is a skin related problems. It's very common to have fragile skin that tears or bruises easily, bruising may be severe. Severe scarring, slow and poor wound healing, even following a surgery, scars can reopen after you think they were healed. Other problems can occur within the body due to lack of collagen and or ligaments support. Things like frequent hernias, digestive problems, mitral valve prolapse, scoliosis, uterine fragility, and gum disease. [00:05:24][51.8]
Ron: [00:05:26] That certainly is an incredible array of symptoms. And this disorder is not curable but it is managed with medication physical therapy and rest. So now that we have laid some of the background for our listeners at home it is time to introduce today's guest who unfortunately deals with EDS on a daily basis. Our own co-host here podcastDx, Jean Marie. Could you please explain a little bit about your journey with EDS?. [00:06:00][33.8]
Jean: [00:06:01] Sure. I didn't know what it was but I've been, but I knew that I had some issues with my joints stability and such for some time. When I was little, I was always very "bendy" and my hip will go out of joint just walking and my shoulders would come out of joint several times, and I've had some other issues but I've had some severe problems with it as well, but most of my issues were later in life. [00:06:30][29.2]
Ron: [00:06:32] So the first symptoms that when you were much younger you said about your hip. [00:06:37][5.3]
Jean: [00:06:38] Well I would say that although I recognize that there was something going on I didn't understand what. How complex and difficult the situation was and that I had EDS until much later in life, in my 30s. [00:06:52][14.3]
Lita: [00:06:53] Is it common for people with EDS to get a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. [00:06:57][3.3]
Jean: [00:06:58] Sure. I mean you have joint issues and joint pain is often common in eds. So you may be diagnosed with fibromyalgia but it's actually a connective tissue issue when it comes to eds and you could also have an issue with your vascular system which is a subset of eds. [00:07:18][19.5]
Lita: [00:07:18] Okay. And how do gastrointestinal problems. Irritable bowel or Gerd. How do those play a part with EDS? [00:07:27][8.2]
Jean: [00:07:27] Well since your gastrointestinal system is comprised of connective tissue it can be affected by eds. So in your nerves are also surrounded by connective tissue. So since your gastrointestinal system works on a umm [00:07:43][16.0]
Lita: [00:07:49] The pulsing of the muscles that move the product through the gastro system right? [00:07:55][6.0]
Jean: [00:07:55] Right. That's all influenced by your nerves. And it's not something that you can control. It's an autonomic function and it's controlled by your nerve. So if your nerves are affected by your eds then your gastrointestinal symptoms are affected by that as well. And did I mention brain fog. I think brain fog is a part of eds. [00:08:13][17.7]
Lita: [00:08:13] yes I know I know. [00:08:14][1.0]
Ron: [00:08:16] Well I know your symptoms have changed over the years. This is based on surgery's medication changes etc. etc.. How would you say that eds affects your lifestyle right now. [00:08:27][11.6]
Jean: [00:08:28] Well I have to make different modifications and accommodations for eds. Yes I have to take into account that my. For example I my hip might come out of joint and I do utilize different. Things to try to reduce the number of incidents I have. [00:08:45][16.7]
Lita: [00:08:46] OK. Well since this is you know this is EDs Awareness Month as you know. Are you up for that EDs challenge that they've been talking about. [00:08:54][8.1]
Jean: [00:08:55] Nope [00:08:55][0.0]
Lita: [00:08:58] (laughter) Good. Let's do a lightning round. I'll ask the questions and you'll have 15 seconds to answer before I go on to the next one. [00:09:04][6.4]
Jean: [00:09:05] Great. [00:09:05][0.0]
Lita: [00:09:05] . Ron you'll keep time. You're ready. [00:09:07][1.9]
Ron: [00:09:08] I Certainly am. whenever You're ready. [00:09:09][0.9]
Lita: [00:09:10] Jean said she's not ready. [00:09:11][1.5]
Ron: [00:09:12] Well you're ready Ready or not. [00:09:13][0.9]
Lita: [00:09:13] That's right. OK. Question 1 What type do you have. [00:09:17][3.5]
Jean: [00:09:17] Hyper mobile. [00:09:18][0.3]
Lita: [00:09:19] And when were you diagnosed. [00:09:19][0.8]
Jean: [00:09:20] Several years ago before my cranial cervical fusion in New York. [00:09:23][3.1]
Lita: [00:09:25] OK. Do you have any comorbilities. [00:09:26][1.4]
Jean: [00:09:28] Yes I have pots which we discussed on a prior episode. I get migraines. I have several hernias. I have an issue with my gastro parasen, paracentesis there say that three times fast. I have thyroid disorders tinitis in my ears cranial cervical settling and cranial cervical instability which has been repaired with a number of different titanium accessories, syncope is lipo edema, latex sensitivity I get PVCs with my heart. Now I have celiac disease and I have difficulty swallowing just to name a couple of related issues. [00:10:05][37.7]
Lita: [00:10:06] Hey Ron I think we have a client here that we can use for a lot of future podcasts [00:10:10][4.1]
Jean: [00:10:11] Oh no no no no. There are many other people that want to get on the show. [00:10:14][3.3]
Lita: [00:10:14] OK. All right. Question number four do you have any mobility aids that you use. [00:10:20][6.0]
Jean: [00:10:21] I do. There are some are unusual but it's difficult. For example for me to squeeze a bottle. So when it comes to toiletry products and things of that nature I use a pump. [00:10:31][9.7]
Lita: [00:10:31] OK. [00:10:31][0.0]
Jean: [00:10:32] Because that makes it my life much easier and I join up to worry about my fingers going out of joint. I also make sure that I you know I have trecking polls to assist when I'm walking and if need be I also use a wheelchair when I know when that comes. [00:10:46][14.6]
Lita: [00:10:48] To much walk. [00:10:48][0.5]
Jean: [00:10:49] And yet when walking becomes too much I wear very comfortable shoes that offer a great deal of support. And I just try to take it easy and rest. [00:10:58][9.5]
Lita: [00:10:59] OK. What do you use for pain management. [00:11:01][2.1]
Jean: [00:11:02] Anything I can. I've taken everything from fentanyl to oxycodone and I have recently submitted my application for medical marijuana for the state of Illinois. So I'm looking forward, looking forward to trying that as well. And then I also use things like distraction music. I'll read books listen you know watch movies spend time with my family spend time in the garden and I try to you know alleviate my pain through other techniques as well. [00:11:33][30.7]
Lita: [00:11:34] And pet therapy. [00:11:34][0.8]
Jean: [00:11:35] And pet therapy yes. [00:11:36][0.6]
Lita: [00:11:36] Can't forget Buddy and Gi.Gi.. [00:11:37][1.0]
Jean: [00:11:38] Nope. [00:11:38][0.0]
Lita: [00:11:39] Have you had any surgeries do to eds. [00:11:41][1.8]
Jean: [00:11:41] Yes yes. My , when walking my ankle. the tendons and ligaments tore off my ankle. So they had to be repaired. And I have not yet had my other ankle repaired but there is a similar situation there. And I also had a cranial cervical stabilization procedure to try to keep my neck stretched to its full full height. And it added a nice little inch to my height. [00:12:08][27.0]
Lita: [00:12:09] OK. Have you had any hospital stays. [00:12:11][1.9]
Jean: [00:12:11] Yep. One or two variety of reasons. [00:12:14][2.5]
Lita: [00:12:14] What types of specialists do you have. [00:12:16][1.5]
Jean: [00:12:17] I have a specialist for everything from my vision. So I have a neuro ophthalmologist straight down to my toes and I have an orthopedist that works specifically on ankle repairs. [00:12:31][14.1]
Lita: [00:12:32] OK. What is your funniest EDS story. [00:12:34][2.8]
Jean: [00:12:35] Before I knew I had eds I would entertain people by moving my hair around and it looks like it's a wig because I can move it so much because of the flexibility. So it's a little bit unusual. [00:12:46][10.4]
Lita: [00:12:47] Mm hmm. Excuse me. What was your worst doctors experience. [00:12:51][4.1]
Jean: [00:12:52] I had an orthopaedic surgeon told me that my shoulder blade was fine because I hadn't fractured my clavicle which I didn't realize in order to hurt your shoulder blade. You have to fracture clavicle but I don't think that's the case. And indeed I needed extensive repair to my shoulder blade and had to have two major procedures for that. [00:13:11][19.0]
Lita: [00:13:11] Okay. And what was your best doctors experience. [00:13:14][2.6]
Jean: [00:13:14] I have amazing GP's that juggle all of the specialists that I have and they're able to consolidate everything and handle all of my new and unusual conditions. [00:13:29][14.0]
Lita: [00:13:30] OK so you say the gps would be the best. [00:13:32][1.9]
Lita: [00:13:33] Yes. OK. Do you consider your she's doing pretty good on time. [00:13:36][2.8]
Ron: [00:13:36] She is. [00:13:36][0.3]
Lita: [00:13:37] Do you consider yourself. [00:13:37][0.6]
Jean: [00:13:38] Since I forgot where I put my my notes. This must be an off the cuff. Yeah. Yeah. [00:13:43][5.0]
Lita: [00:13:43] Do you see. Do you consider yourself disabled. [00:13:45][1.6]
Jean: [00:13:46] No. No. I may be differently abled. [00:13:48][2.3]
Lita: [00:13:49] Have you experienced ableism. [00:13:50][1.5]
Jean: [00:13:52] is that like Cain and Abel ism or. I don't know what it was. [00:13:55][3.2]
Lita: [00:13:55] This was one of the questions on the I'm assuming a challenge. [00:13:58][2.6]
Jean: [00:14:00] I don't know. [00:14:01][1.1]
Jean: [00:14:01] I do know that when I'm sitting in using my wheelchair sometimes people don't look at me or talk to me they'll talk to whoever is assisting me at the time and I find that disconcerting and that I've had issues in certain situations where I can't speak to someone and it does because it's the desk is so high and when I'm going on a tour of a museum it's difficult because you know you're trying to see everything. It's just there's challenges in that regard but nothing too horrific. [00:14:31][29.4]
Lita: [00:14:33] What is something that you wish everyone understood about eds. [00:14:36][3.6]
Jean: [00:14:37] oh... About Eds. [00:14:38][0.6]
Lita: [00:14:38] Yes. [00:14:38][0.0]
Jean: [00:14:38] Yeah. You say because you really do have to narrow it down that you can't necessarily see what's wrong. So if I am parking in utilizing a handicapped parking place it might be because my hip has popped off the day. And you might not be able to see that because you know you can't see that and you can't see other issues. But I do need assistance from now, you know every now and again and. Yeah. So just you can't always see what's going on with somebody. [00:15:04][26.1]
Lita: [00:15:05] So it's an invisible illness. [00:15:06][1.0]
Jean: [00:15:06] It can be. It can also be a very visible illness because I do have quite a few scars. And it takes me a very long time to heal. So in that regard you can see it. But yeah most of the time you cant tell what's going on. [00:15:18][11.3]
Ron: [00:15:18] From the naked eye if people don't get you in a wheelchair they think you're fine. [00:15:21][2.9]
Jean: [00:15:21] Yes. Yes and I could very well be passing out or having a syncapal episode at any moment and that's very frightening. [00:15:29][8.0]
Lita: [00:15:31] True true it scares the heck out of me I know. [00:15:33][2.5]
Lita: [00:15:34] Sorry Mom. Yeah. Yeah. If you could rid yourself of one EDs symptom which would it be. [00:15:40][5.9]
Jean: [00:15:42] I guess the gastrointestinal complications I've been told that I should really have my colon removed and that's not something I'm jumping for joy about so certainly I'd want that corrected. And I guess any of the. [00:15:55][13.3]
Lita: [00:15:56] No one one, you see how, she's that, now she's losing the trick. [00:15:59][3.5]
Jean: [00:16:00] Well yeah. All right all right. Any. But yeah. OK. [00:16:02][2.6]
Lita: [00:16:03] Just one. Well that wraps up today's session. If you have any questions or comments related to today's show you can contact us at podcast D X at yahoo dot com through our Web site podcast D X dot com at our Facebook page at Instagram or Twitter. [00:16:22][18.8]
Ron: [00:16:23] And if you have a moment to spare please give us a five star review on I tunes podcast app. [00:16:29][5.6]
Jean: [00:16:30] And thank you to all of our followers on Instagram. We really appreciate the feedback. And on Facebook I love all the feedback there as well. And the Twitter followers too, have to give you guys a shout out into all of our other podcasters out there who have given us praise and assistance and encouragement. We appreciate you guys. [00:16:49][19.5]
Lita: [00:16:49] Yes we are. We're. moving... (forward) [00:16:49][0.0]
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‘weird’
1.coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
any really, i use water bottles the most probably but I like using coffee mugs for non coffee drinks
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
chocolate <3
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
flavor? neither the actual thing? cotton candy
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
quiet, smart, liked to read, nice
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
cans
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
goth + comfy
7. earbuds or headphones?
earbuds
8. movies or tv shows?
tv shows
9. favorite smell in the summer?
umm ice cream I guess
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
vollyball or kickball
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
I usually don’t eat breakfast
12. name of your favorite playlist?
music<3
13. lanyard or key ring?
key ring
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
sour straws or maple nut goodies
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
the hunger games or papertowns
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
idk
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
some black nikes
18. ideal weather?
rainy cloudy and around 55 degrees
19. sleeping position?
all over the place
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
I don’t really like to write
21. obsession from childhood?
when i was a little kid I loovved elmo, when I got a bit older it was Hannah Montana, then One Direction
22. role model?
Emma Watson
23. strange habits?
my life is a strange habit
24. favorite crystal?
don’t have one
25. first song you remember hearing?
no idea
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
ride water park rides at six flags or get ted drews
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
drink hot chocolate or read
28. five songs to describe you?
That would takes too much thinking to come up with right now
29. best way to bond with you?
talk about similar interests
30. places that you find sacred?
none really
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
idk lol
32. top five favorite vines?
the one with the little girl mispronouncing who, the one with the trombone that sounds like a motorcycle, thomas sanders narrating people, and thats all I can think of rn sorryry
33. most used phrase in your phone?
no idea
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
I don’t care enough about ads
35. average time you fall asleep?
like what time or how long it takes? what time can be anywhere between 9pm-7am and how long anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour or more
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
probably something like charlie bit my finger or nyan cat
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
I mean it depends on where your going but I guess suitcase
38. lemonade or tea?
lemonade
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
I’ve never tried either, probably the pie
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
so theres a tradition where on one of the last days of school the seniors do a ‘senior run’ where they just run through the halls of all three floors of the school. My freshman year the seniors knocked out a water fountain while they were running so the school would replace at least one of them bc most of them either didn’t work or the water was always hot
41. last person you texted?
I mean it’s been like 3 months but a friend
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
pants
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
hoodie <3
44. favorite scent for soap?
anything flowery is good
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
superhero
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
sweatpants/pj pants + t shirt
47. favorite type of cheese?
mozzarella or cheddar
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
a pear
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
positive mental attitude or endure and survive
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
idk
51. current stresses?
school, grades, trying to find a job, friends, relationships, life
52. favorite font?
don’t really have one
53. what is the current state of your hands?
fine?
54. what did you learn from your first job?
haven’t had a first job :/
55. favorite fairy tale?
I really loved Goldilock and princess and the frog when I was a kid
56. favorite tradition?
I don’t really have any
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
haven’t really overcame any
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
lol I wish
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“idk”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
I don’t watch anime so I don’t know
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
“You have to hit rock bottom before you know which direction to go in”
62. seven characters you relate to?
Ellie (The Last of Us), Hermione (Harry Potter), Miles (Looking for Alaska), Charlie (Supernatural), and thats all I can think of
63. five songs that would play in your club?
i don’t know just whatevers popular
64. favorite website from your childhood?
webkinz
65. any permanent scars?
nope
66. favorite flower(s)?
lilacs and sunflowers
67. good luck charms?
none
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
fish
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
all I can think of is the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell but I learned that from tumblr
70. left or right handed?
right
71. least favorite pattern?
polka dots i guess
72. worst subject?
math
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
I can’t really think of any, peanut butter and chocolate i guess
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
like 4 or 5
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
around 5 years old
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
fries
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
I don’t like plants
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
coffee
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
neither both sucked
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
earth i guess
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
fireflies
82. pc or console?
console
83. writing or drawing?
neither
84. podcasts or talk radio?
neither
84. barbie or polly pocket?
barbie
85. fairy tales or mythology?
fairy tales
86. cookies or cupcakes?
cookies
87. your greatest fear?
failure
88. your greatest wish?
money
89. who would you put before everyone else?
me
90. luckiest mistake?
idk
91. boxes or bags?
boxes?
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
overhead lights
93. nicknames?
Steph
94. favorite season?
winter
95. favorite app on your phone?
I don’t really have one
96. desktop background?
Ellie and Joel from The Last of Us
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
mine, my home phone, my dads old old cell phone number
98. favorite historical era?
none
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All Lets Get Personal.
Thanks anon!! My depressed ass needed something to do
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
It really depends on my mood tbh. But judging by my YouTube playlists:
Church- Fall out boy; Hopeless Wanderer- Mumford and Sons (its a jam okay?); Summertime- my chemical romance; so cold- ben cocks; this is me- keala settle and killing in the same- rage against the machine
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Lmao idk I dont have much of an interest in anyone atm. I still think itd be cool to meet kaitlyn alexander ig
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
You recognise each other the moment your eyes meet. It’s a question and answer book and the question is about soulmates or something
4: What do you think about most?
What it is I need to do to stop feeling anxious or stressed since it’s a daily battle
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
“it was hillarious but I couldn’t say “lmao I’ve seen women take bigger” so I just let the conversation die but I was urging to show him a savage video and ruin him just to be right but then I stopped myself”
Yes, it is as bad in context as out of it.
Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Depends how warm it is tbh
What’s your strangest talent?
Talent? What’s that?? Idk I’m quite good at picking up languages super fast for some unknown reason (but i can forget them just as quick soo
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
Girls are hot hot hot they make me gay
Boys are hot hot hot they make me gay
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Nah, but I’m not major sad about it since that’d be so awkward
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Oh gosh um probably in the car the other day, canny remember which song it was tho
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
I seriously hate water like to the point I chose my uni based on where the lakes were. I also hate stuffed toys with voice boxes.
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Probably but I don’t remember
13: What’s your religion?
I’m an athiest
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Walking between indoor places
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind it! I’m not photogenic
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Ummmmmmm idk. I genuinly don’t know. I probably listen to five finger death punch most atm?
17: What was the last lie you told?
I said I was feeling good lmao
18: Do you believe in karma?
I don’t know, but I like to hope it does to make myself feel better
19: What does your URL mean?
I think it’s pretty self explanatory
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
My greatest weakness? Probably my low opinion of myself or my associated jealousy.
My greatest strength? A few years ago I mightve said my resilience but I’m not sure I ever have that anymore. Idk, maybe my need to always keep improving as a person
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
See number 2 tbh
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yah every time I have a bath
23: How do you vent your anger?
I send massive long rant paragraphs to my closest friends and try not to do anything stupid or unhealthy
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
I have a pretty big collection of reaction images and memes
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
I hate both but video chatting is slightly better
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
I suppose. I’m closer to being happy with them than I ever have been and that’s what matters.
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
At this point I hate the sound of my alarm more than most things and I love... idk music. Does that count?
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
What if I’d stood up for myself more?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I don’t know as I believe in ghosts but I’m fascinated by the people who do. As for aliens ofc they exist.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
I touch sofa. Both times. I’m sat on a sofa.
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
I smell rabbit since he’s currently sat with me in a box. I got lonely.
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
Gosh I don’t know. I can’t really think of anywhere I’ve hated being, besides home sometimes. I don’t know, no where has been that bad since I always try to make the best of it.
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
East coast
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Opposite eh? Lmaoooo
Okay I actually have quite a thing for the lead singer of motionless in white. Make of that what you will.
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
To be happy, to go good and to die with as few regrets as possible
36: Define Art.
Fuck. Something visual this is made to be aesthetically pleasing or convey a message. I guess.
37: Do you believe in luck?
I’m not entirely sure what luck is. Maybe?
38: What’s the weather like right now?
Fekkin horrible, you wouldn’t know it’s spring. It’s grey and wet and windy and cold.
39: What time is it?
17:51
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
I have a full license but haven’t actually driven since my test, so I haven’t had a chance to crash.
41: What was the last book you read?
When breath becomes air. It’s about being a doctor.
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
I adore it yaas
43: Do you have any nicknames?
Char, (wholemeal) chorlo and Thot lmao
44: What was the last film you saw?
Love, Simon
Go see it, it’s gay and beautiful!
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Idk, I broke my humorous after dislocating my elbow once. But that was ages ago
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Hundreds lmao thats my childhood right there
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
I’m too depressed to have much of an interest in anything tbh. Even when I’m not I don’t tend to get That Invested.
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
Bisexual, ig. Though saying it never feels right for some reason.
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
A few, a few. One being that I was a lesbian years before even I knew I wasn’t straight.
50: Do you believe in magic?
Not really but who knows
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
The threshold for grudges is pretty high but if I have one I’ll be bitter til the day I die
52: What is your astrological sign?
Libra
53: Do you save money or spend it?
I swing wildly between saving loads and spending loads. Healthy.
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
Um I mean I paid the deposit on a house, does that count?
55: Love or lust?
Love, for sure
56: In a relationship?
Yeah XD
57: How many relationships have you had?
This is like my third proper one
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope
59: Where were you yesterday?
At home on my tod again, revising
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Nah
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
Yuup
62: What’s your favourite animal?
I love all the animals I can’t pick a favourite. I love alpacas, chimps, gorrillas, orangutans, lizards, elephants, octopuses etc etc
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
Excessive praying and reblogging lucky posts
64: Where is your best friend?
Tbh I have multiple, one in the next village, one 6 hours south and one 4000 miles away
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
Christ um, people I spam with likes most are probably @oneshappyplace @apricot-el @only-slightly-dangerous @succeeding and @setheverman
66: What is your heritage?
I’m white as a toilet so my family probably murdered a lot of innocent people
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
Umm I was skyping my boyf and playing a game online with him
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
Trump
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
Yeah, haven’t most people?
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
I like to think so yeah. Though I do have a lot of breakdowns so maybe without that part. @ my friends I apologise
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Help the dog. Though realistically I probably couldn’t do it alone, so would call someone over to help and leave asap to not be so late.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
I think I’d tell the people closest to me, yeah. I don’t know what I’d do though. Probably book as many flights as possible and visit all the countries I’ve always wanted to go to. I guess I’d probably write my will and organise a funeral too. I don’t think I’d be too afraid, just, idk, sad? I don’t want to disappear to nothingness yet, even if I won’t know when it happens.
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
Argh that’s horrid. I mean trust is essential for all relationships imo. But if I had no love at all in my life I doubt I’d live very long at all. So... love? No wait,,, trust. Yeah trust.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. It reminds me of a school trip years ago to Belgium that was such a good time
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
8008
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Well, trust ig, being able to talk about anything, a good balance of affection and roasting. Idk
77: How can I win your heart?
Be kind, be funny and have layers.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
I suppose so
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
The decision to reply to the message that appeared in my inbox right before I was going to end it. There were plenty, but I only opened that one. The person who sent it changed my life.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
7
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
Either a pun or something ominous. Maybe both.
82: What is your favourite word?
Probably sorry since I say it a lot
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
Love, followed quickly by the mental image of a dissected heart
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
I amuse myself. Gotta keep up that brand sponning.
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
Don’t feel like dancing by the scissor sisters lmao
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
Black, red and purple
87: What is your current desktop picture?
Just a galaxy
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
Donald. Trump. When in close proximity to Mike Pence too.
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
Besides “what are your credit card details”? Idk, perhaps a question about the flaws of the people closest to me, since they’re something I wouldn’t want them to read.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Lie there still for a good 5 minutes just to make sure. Maybe chuck a pillow across the room to see if they attack it. Then go fetch my phone and call whoever will pick up to ask wtf to do.
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
The ability to fly probably. It’d help stop me being late and transport is so expensive these days.
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
A half hour period of the time me and my friend spent outside laughing our heads off and covered in glitter when I visited her in the states last summer
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Damn, only one? Lmao catch me ranking my traumas to try to answer this question. I’ll erase getting flooded and being made homeless I think lmao
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
Probably P!nk since she was low key my gay awakening
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I quite fancy going to amsterdam rn, or failing that, copenhagen
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
Not that I know of
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
Only as a little kid
98: Ever been on a plane?
Plenty of times yeah, I love it
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
I wish there was some way I could convince all the dictators, extremists and right wingers to just fekkin stop tbh. Centrists can stay but theyre on thin ice.
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Abel’s Jury Statement & Answers
Dom! Congrats on making FTC! I have nothing to say to you. It’s not that your game didn’t interest me you just have some vocal supporters on the jury so I don’t feel like I need to hear anymore. Good job tho.
Ian! You’re facing an uphill battle tonight buddy but you still have a chance! I want you to take this opportunity to go through Dom and the other one’s opening statements and call bullshit where you feel is appropriate. Do they take credit for things they didn’t do? Do they exaggerate aspects of their gameplay? Do they have glaring flaws that the jury should know about?
I was also told there was a Mary Beth on this season? I’ve checked all around the blog and my contacts for this Stacy Ann person but I can’t find her anywhere? Maybe this alleged “player” missed the flight to Switzerland. So this Mollie Sue didn’t build a single relationship (besides with Switzerland winner Brett, king). make a single move, or win a single challenge. This supposed Peggy Lou girl claims to have come into this game with “strategy”. If Sally May’s strategy was to disgrace all Libras everywhere, mission accomplished.
______________________________________________________________
Dom
Ian
Hi Abel!
Okay to start things up, we will start with Ashley Sarah. For Ashley Sarah, I don’t really have anything to point out to her statement. We were aligned in this game; we were together the entire game so I knew what kind of game she played. She played the game as a loyal ally to Brett however she was TOO loyal which prevented her from making the necessary moves to stand out.
Now we get to the good part which is Dom’s. This might end up becoming a long one because I’m going to break down each statement and express my thoughts. I’m going to put quotes on their statements by the way.
“Then when we got to the double tribal, I knew that Ben had to go. I feel as though I was one of the strongest forces in trying to get Ben voted out.”
[6/2/2017 8:50:23 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Have you heard anything about the vote?
[6/2/2017 8:50:30 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): ooo a haircut
[6/2/2017 8:50:34 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): and umm I'm not sure honestly
[6/2/2017 8:50:37 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): no one is really talking[6/2/2017 8:57:10 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Yeah, things have been really quiet (worry)
[6/2/2017 9:05:36 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): trueeee[6/2/2017 9:05:38 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): what are you thinking?
[6/2/2017 9:06:09 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): I'm thinking that this vote has to be a united one
[6/2/2017 9:06:15 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): yeah I agree
[6/2/2017 9:06:18 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): who do you wanna do
[6/2/2017 9:07:27 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Idk yet :(
[6/2/2017 9:07:46 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): God I hate that we're going to double tribal
[6/2/2017 9:09:30 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): What about you?
[6/2/2017 9:42:42 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): I'm hearing Ben and ash
[6/2/2017 9:43:13 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): oh sorry I eant to respond lasdkf;a
[6/2/2017 9:43:17 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): who would you rather do
[6/2/2017 9:44:01 AM] Ian (New Orleans Host): I might go Ben because he hasn't talked to me yet,
[6/2/2017 9:44:12 AM] dom (FestiveBB3 host): okay cool same
Yeah you see the thing about being one of the strongest forces in getting Ben out? I don’t really see it here if I’m being honest. Dom really exaggerated himself here because if he really was one of the strongest forces in getting rid of Ben, he should have dropped Ben’s name right from the get go. Also I had already explained this in my opening statement but right after immunity results of the double tribal, the H4rmony (then Harmon3) had already planned on voting Ben out regardless whether Dom came to us or not because the vote needed to be a unanimous vote.
“But also, Ian received a few votes at this tribal council. I think that this shows that his social game at the start of merge was not very strong because he didn’t have any connections on the other side.”
This statement was about the first merge vote. I’m calling bullshit on this statement because first of all my social game at the start of merge was strong. Ashley had alerted me that I was getting votes at that tribal and Nick had informed me of Luke’s vote stealer. As for my connections with other side, I actually did have connections with them during that vote. Dom had thought zero connections within the people on the other side, well he thought wrong! Evidences about that fact was when Abel found out that I was staying he came to me telling me he was simply being loyal and all and lastly Zack was trying to see where my head’s at moments before the vote. Those facts prove that my social game was actually on point during that round and not what Dom thinks. Furthermore, the main reason that I received votes for that round because Abel <3 wanted to vote me out because of my challenge prowess and that I try too hard in challenges.
“Benjamin’s vote was when the original Monte Rosa split. I was a major component of Ben going home.”
I strongly believe that Dom is exaggerating and taking too much credit on the Ben vote. I believe that the only major component on the Ben vote was Brett. Brett had let the three (me, Tyler and Ash) of us go along with the split vote plan while he made the move to get Ben out. He had already been planning on voting Ben out right when he got back into the game. Brett had control during this vote and the credit of it goes to him.
“I feel like I’m the only one out of the three of us to actually make a big move. I was behind Tyler getting voted out.”
This is just based on my perspective I have but for me, Right after the Tyler vote, Brett explained to me everything. He told me that he learned from Luke that Tyler had been leaking info to him (Which I was aware because we were trying to get an F4 with the remaining Matterhorn), that Brett had trust issues with Tyler the moment Zack called out Tyler and exposed his idol. This in turn led Tyler to tell Brett about the merge idol. That Brett had wanted to get rid of Tyler during the Nick vote. The information that Brett had was the basis for the split vote plan, so I don’t really get why Dom can say he was the one responsible for the split vote plan when Brett and Luke were the major components into blindsiding Tyler.
“Some of you jurors may view Ian as an underdog, but in reality, Ian had a solid majority. It didn’t have to be an issue. He decided to flip to the minority and his allies were soon voted out. I think that was a fault in his game rather than sticking to the majority and actually making a move.”
We finally come to this. I had little to no choice but to turn to the minority for help because during the Nick vote, Brett had wanted to split the vote between me and Tyler and get rid of Tyler. When I learned of this information I needed to go to the minority who were Luke and Jev and form something with them. Well it’s true that I had a solid majority, the majority turned on me first, not the other way around. Flipping to the minority gave me extra assurance of my safety because I was trying to appear that I was still painfully loyal to the Brett and Ashley. Plus let’s be real here, had I stuck with the majority when I knew for a fact they tried to leave me out of their plans I would have probably looked like a damn goat. It’s kind of ironic how he criticizes myself flipping to the minority when in reality had I remained painfully loyal to Brett he wouldn’t be sitting here. I have the utmost respect on how Dom played the game but it felt like that in his opening statement regarding the Ben and Tyler vote, it felt like he was taking too much credit when other people like Brett and Luke deserved more of the credit. For me, Dom played a game that only blossomed when Logan and Nick were voted out and he didn’t do much during the early stages of the game. Whereas to my game, at the beginning of the game I had already began working hard in order to compensate my lack of connections in my OG tribe. Even if the first two tribes I was on were on a winning streak, I never stopped making the necessary bonds and relationships that will help my game. This can be shown as when Dom tried to take me down at F6 where Brett and Ash didn’t budge on getting rid of me because of the strong bond and relationship I had with them. Lastly during the penultimate immunity challenge, I fought tooth and nail to make sure Brett didn’t win the challenge, if I hadn’t won the challenge, Dom would be sitting in jury.
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