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mangedog · 1 year

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gender transition: hysterectomy in Tas, AUS

It's rare to see any experiences of gender transition outside of the US, and when I do find Australian experiences there's none from my state, Tasmania. So I thought I'd share my experience in getting a hysterectomy. I won't go over the Australian medical system, google that if you need to (it's pretty similar to the UK system if you're familiar with that). Long post with surgery details ahead!

On the 17th of January 2023 I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy. I had everything removed (uterus, Fallopian tubes, ovaries, and cervix - so a hysterectomy with bilateral salipingo-oophorectomy) with a cystoscopy (micro-camera examination of bladder to make sure ureters are intact) at the end of surgery.

Pre-Surgery Consults

First step was going to my GP to ask for a referral. I was referred to the Royal Hobart Hospital (RHH)'s gynaecology department on the 10th of March 2022.

I had my first consult with Dr. Irena Nikakis on the 14th of July 2022, in which she said she was happy to do a hysto but didn't want to take my ovaries. We "compromised" and she said she would do the hysto in one operation, and then remove the ovaries at a later date. I wasn't happy with this - it seemed like a weird way to go about it, and I didn't want to have 2 major surgeries when I could have just 1 for the same effect - but I agreed anyway. I left the consult glad that she agreed to the hysto, but annoyed at that she didn't want to take the ovaries at the same time (and also because I'd gotten there 15 minutes early but she was an hour late with no explanation).

She wanted me to have a psychiatric consult before booking the surgery in, which I had with the sexual health clinic (Clinic 60 in Hobart). Pretty standard stuff, just went over if I was able to consent to surgery and meet the WPATH criteria and so on.

I had my second consult with Dr. Nikakis on the 13th September 2022, when I was put on the public hospital general priority waitlist (meaning the wait time would be within a year / 365 days). She said if I hadn't had the operation within 6 months I would get a phone call to see if I still wanted it.

Some weeks later I got a phone call asking if I wanted to be under a contract the RHH has with Hobart Private Hospital, where public patients are processed through the private system at no cost to them (in order to try and get through the backlog of patients they have on public waitlists). Since it wouldn't make a difference to me I said yes.

I then had a consult with Dr Tim Hasted on the 13th of December 2022, at Calvary St. John's Private Hospital where his office was. I asked him if he could take my ovaries at the same time and he was fine with that. I also asked if we could forgo the speculum at the 8 week post-op check up, which he was also fine with as long as there was no bleeding by then. My surgery was booked at this consult, for the 17th of January 2023.

Surgery

The day of operation, I arrived at Hobart Private Hospital at my instructed admission time of 1pm. I had been told to fast from food from 7am and water from 9am, but I woke up late and had a sip of water at around 10am for my medication (and therefore didn't have any food at all). They were fine with that. I waited for about 20 minutes in the waiting room, when they did the admission forms. Then I waited for another 20 minutes or so, when they did more paperwork. Then after another 20 minutes or so I was taken to my private room which had its own bathroom (I wish I could be a private patient all the time, it was way nicer than a shared ward!).

I waited in the room for about two hours (my mum came to visit me so we just chatted, and then once she left I read a book). Then the nurse came at 4:15pm and told me they were getting ready for me, so I put on the hospital gown (naked underneath) and sat on the bed. The nurse and someone who I think was an orderly wheeled my bed to a pre-op room where they put the blood clot prevention stockings on and went over the paperwork about three more times (asking what operation I was having and if I had any allergies or reactions to anaesthetic, etc). The anesthesiologist and her assistant both visited me to introduce themselves, and Dr. Hasted popped in as well. After 10-15 minutes of waiting they wheeled me in to the theatre.

My surgery was at about 4:30pm. They warned me that the operating room would be cold (and it was), so they put a heated blanket in my bed. They lined the bed up with the operating table and got me to shuffle over onto it (it was a bit awkward and I was trying not to let my gown slide up so I wouldn't flash them all with my naked ass lol...). They undid the knots of the gown so they could take it off when I was asleep. They put the cannula in the crook of my left elbow (since I'm right handed). The nurse said she was going to put some "relaxing medicine" in the cannula, and then the anaesthetic. I felt her putting it in, it was cold, but for about 30 seconds I didn't feel any different. Then suddenly I was hit with this wave of dizziness and felt really out of it. That's the last thing I remember.

After Surgery

I woke up in the pre-op room I was in before they took me to surgery, they were asking me to rate my pain out of 10. I couldn't speak (because of the intubation and also I was still really out of it) so I held up my fingers to say 7. I felt vaguely nauseous but I didn't need any anti-nausea medication. I think they gave me some pain medication but I don't remember. Then I woke up again in my room, where I think they were asking me again about the pain. I slept on and off for about 4 hours I think. I remember asking for some painkillers and the nurse said I couldn't have more because it was 8:45pm (?) and I had to wait 6 hours between the strong medication. I think I had some Panadol (paracetamol) instead. The nurses had to come in every 30 minutes for the 4 hours post-op to check on me and take my blood pressure and temperature.

Eventually I woke up properly at around 10pm. I was alone in the room and in a lot of pain so I pressed the call button for the nurse. I kept forgetting and moving my arm that had the cannula in which was attached to the IV drip, which made the IV machine go off because the line wasn't straight. My throat wasn't sore but I couldn't really speak. I drank a lot of water. At one point I woke up and there was a food tray with sandwiches, two small bottles of orange juice and apple juice, a container with some crackers, cheese and grapes in it, and a little tub of ice cream on my bedside tray. I had the ice cream which had melted by then but I couldn't swallow the cheese or bread properly so I just left it since I wasn't hungry anyway.

I slept some more until around 3am. I was in a lot of pain (around 6 or 7/10) so I asked for some medication when the nurse came in. I think I got some of the strong pain meds (I don't remember what they were called, Duodene or something?) three times over the night and some Panadol as well. I had pain in my abdomen but also in my back at one point (I think because of the gas but also because I hadn't moved for hours). I became aware that I had a catheter in, and it was really weird not being able to tell if I was peeing or not. I would feel a vague need to pee but then it would go away and I couldn't tell if it was because I had actually peed into the catheter or if I just didn't need to go anymore. I couldn't sleep for more than half an hour at a time, and as it got closer to sunrise I slept less and less. My pain by this point was about 4/10 so it was uncomfortable but manageable. I was pretty thirsty, but I'd run out of water, and it was also hot in the room but I couldn't get up to turn the thermostat down.

At 5:30am the nurse came in to tell me that they would take the catheter out at 6am. She helped me out of bed and got me to walk around a bit. I was shaky and weak but I could walk ok. Then when she took out the catheter I was nervous (didn't want anyone poking about down there!) but she explained what she was doing and it was pretty quick. She un-inflated a little balloon in the tube and then pulled it out, which stung but was over quickly. She took the bags (2 of them, both completely full, I had apparently peed a LOT during the hours I had it in lol) and I managed to go to the toilet by myself. It stung like hell and I only managed a little bit, and it was extremely bloody. Over the next few hours I had to keep peeing and they had to measure my pee and do a bladder scan to make sure I was emptying my bladder. It took a long time, but by 10am or so I didn't have to have any more scans.

At around 8 or 9am I had breakfast, which was scrambled eggs so it went down easily. I still wasn't feeling hungry but I felt better after eating so I guess I was. At some point Dr. Hasted came in and talked to me about the surgery. He said it all went well, except it took longer than expected because I had a "very small" cervix which made it trickier for them (since they were removing the organs by pulling them through the cervix, then removing the cervix itself and sewing the leftover hold shut - a vaginal cuff). I was able to have a shower, but I hadn't brought any shampoo or soap because I thought I wouldn't be allowed to shower for a few days.

I was discharged at around 1pm, after lunch (which I managed to eat all of despite not really wanting to after half of it). I had a painkiller before I left since I live an hour away from the hospital. It was the same kind I got a prescription of from the hospital pharmacy (Palexia IR 50mg, which is tapentadol). Made me feel a bit drowsy. The carpark was across the street, and I was feeling fine so figured I would have no problem walking there. But a few times I felt a bit lightheaded, and I waited at the exit of the carpark for my dad to drive down and pick me up instead of me going up to where the car was. I had to lean against the wall so that was a good idea. I didn't put my binder back on when I got dressed so I was standing awkwardly with my arms crossed to hide my boobs, but that was ok because it gave my abdomen support as well.

It hurt when we went over any bumps on the ride home, but it was ok. I surprisingly didn't go to sleep until 8pm, which since I'd been up since 3am was weird, but I guess I'd slept a lot the afternoon of surgery. I had some pain in the night and took a Palexia, but since I can only have either 1 every 4 hours or 2 every 6 hours, I have to space them out more than I'd like.

Post-Op

I feel surprisingly good. I was worried that I'd regret it - I knew I didn't want kids but I was worried I'd regret removing the option to have biological kids. But I don't regret it now and I didn't then either. I was (and am) so relieved that no matter what, I will never have a period again and there's no risk of ovarian cysts (I have PCOS - yes, weirdly enough, I still have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome despite no longer having ovaries, since it's an (not very well named) endocrine disorder as well as reproductive), no risk of cancer on any of those parts… such a freeing feeling. Unfortunately, it feels like I'm having a really bad period (abdominal pain, bleeding, fatigue etc.) which is dysphoric but knowing why this is happening and knowing it can never happen again is really helpful. It's kinda weird having such a major surgery but no outward differences except for a few incisions (one in my bellybutton, one on either side, and one underneath, and there's one internal one at the top of the vagina where the cervix was). As happy as I am to have it, I kinda wish it had been top surgery since that's my number 1 source of dysphoria (reproductive organs were the lowest priority in terms of transition for me, but just happened to be the easiest to get done and therefore came first).

I'm writing this almost exactly 72 hours after surgery. Still some pain, getting in and out of bed is a bit painful, and I don't have much of an appetite. I have a heating pad on my abdomen at the moment which is nice (and a cat on my lap, even better!). I might try and have a nap soon. All in all, it was easier than I expected, I wasn't misgendered (even had my gender marked as male on my wristband) except for one time indirectly when Dr. Hasted said "women who have this - oh sorry, people who have this...". And because it was through the public health system, it was completely free!

I'm not allowed to drive for a month (because if I crash my car insurance won't cover anything), the estimated recovery time is 6 weeks, and I have a post-op check up with Dr. Hasted in 8 weeks. I'm told that bowel function will take a while to return, but if I haven't had a movement by Friday (tomorrow) to take some laxatives. (I have been farting passing wind though which is a good sign - it means the gas they pump into your abdomen so they can see is moving out).

Feel free to ask any questions (or just say hi, especially if you're a trans Tasmanian)!

Here's @transgenderteensurvivalguide's hysterectomy info page, and here's hysto.net, which is a hysterectomy info site for trans people.

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tdcloud · 4 months

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Happy New Year, everyone!

2024 is here and I, for one, am dead set on making this a good year. After the slog of 2023, I think we can all agree that we’re overdue for even an ounce of a break—or just some levity given 2023 forced me to take a break for the sake of my sanity. A lot has happened. A lot I wanted to have happen just… didn’t. Let’s talk a bit about it while I’ve got a moment in between festivities and go over the past year and what to look forward to in the next.

2023 is going down in my ledger as the Year of Burnout. As depressing as that sounds, as reductive as it makes it all be, it really is what lives strongest in my mind when I think about the past 365 days. As we all know, I’m very hard on myself. It’s why this year became Burnout Year. Every success I accomplish fades in my mind as I consider it against this… failure, I suppose, isn’t the proper word for it. People will get mad at me if I call “having burnout” a “failure”. But in my brain, that’s what it is. I had goals and I failed to reach them because my brain refused to keep to the abusive pace I’ve kept for almost a decade.

It’s going to take a lot of effort in 2024 to rewrite this reading of the situation. To some extent, I’m sure I’m going to be working at rewiring this mentality for quite awhile longer besides. But I have gotten things done. There have been successes, just not the sort I wrote in my schedule book at the start of 2023. I published once this year, not twice. I completed only a couple novellas, not the five I had wanted. There were multiple novel rewrites I wanted done this year. Only a few got done. Some, as it turned out, may require another rewrite entirely—my brain wasn’t working well this year, and what I managed to force out wasn’t good enough to fix what needed to be fixed.

Let’s take a minute to translate the above paragraph from its negative, downplayed bend into something most people would read it as instead: I published Ossuary, a novella so well received it saw my follower count skyrocket alongside my sales, making it one of the strongest breakaway successes of my career. I managed to write to completion three new novellas on Patreon, thus giving me enough of a editable backlog that I won’t need to write any new content for publication for at least a year or more—I’ll be able to take a very, very much needed break thanks to that, all without the pressure to create new work to publish. At long, long, long last, I finally finished the first draft of Hiraeth, the final novel in my very first series and a book I’ve been struggling to complete for about five years now. I rewrote half of Aubade, another old ass novel I’ve wanted to rework for years now. It’ll need a lot more work, but it’s now in a state that can be worked off of, not the mess I’d originally made of it back in 2016.

Even typing all of that, I’m at war with myself. It’s just… really hard to justify to myself what “success” versus “failure” is. Most people wouldn’t have been able to do even one of these things. Most writers would be lucky to have written one novella in a year, let alone the several I managed on top of the novel rewrites. I always say my resolution for each new year that passes is to feel pride in my accomplishments for once. I still haven’t figured out how to do that. Maybe this year will be the year for it. I don’t know. All I can do is try, and writing it all out helps, even if only a little.

I’m hopeful for other things for 2024, though. Things beyond my productivity and all the various things I want to produce or publish. 2023 has been… one of the hardest years of my life, to be honest. I don’t talk a ton about my personal life, but it’s been—difficult. This year, especially the last couple of months, hasn’t been easy. The political and world events aside, a lot of my friends have struggled, my family has struggled, and work has challenged me in ways that made it so difficult to come home and even think of writing that all I could do was lay down, put on a youtube video, and vegetate until the noise in my brain went silent long enough to let me sleep.

The stress surrounding recognizing my burnout and admitting to it publicly nearly ate me alive. Stripping my Patreon of rewards related to consistent output… There were several times this year where I stared up at the dark ceiling above my bed and wondered if I really should continue writing. They say never trust anything you think about your life after nine pm. The number of times I had to remind myself of that… It was just a lot.

But I’m hopeful. Against everything else, in spite of everything else, I’m hopeful for 2024. I’ve gone grayer than ever before, but the work I put in to reach even keel has resulted in a much more solid foundation for this new year. I no longer need to stress every month to meet my quota. The friends I worried so much about are safe, far closer than before, and thriving. My family has come together in ways we just… never did previously, and that’s something remarkable, and while work is still something I do to pay the bills, it’s coming together to actually offer me the sort of compensation that will help me achieve goals I could only dream of.

This is all very personal and lowkey sad, but it does feel good to get it out. I want to thank you all for reading these blog posts, commenting when you’re able, and just offering up kindness and attention to the efforts I’ve put in over the year. As I’ve said before, I’ve never been good at speaking to a dark auditorium and trusting that someone was listening even through the silence. The support I’ve been given means the world, and every kind word that’s been left in a comment, a review, a QRT, a reply, or just something said to me in person at a convention has gone so far in buoying my spirits when they were at their lowest.

So, here’s to 2024. Here’s to taking it slow, taking it easy, and above all else, being kind to ourselves as we do what we can and nothing more than that. I hope you all find the space to give yourself grace in ways I’m still learning how to do, and that you’re excited for what’s yet to come—because I do have plans, just not with hard deadlines for once.

As always, until next time.

T.D. Cloud

#blog #author blog

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pragmatic-optimist · 1 year

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10 things for 2023

Thank you so much for the tag, @welcometololaland! 💖 *Edit* thank you for the tag, too, @marjansmarwani!

A fic idea you want to write (or read): a writer I am not lol, I leave that to the pros. I am a little behind on my fic reading, but I can say I’m super excited for more of Jen’s (@strandnreyes) epic post war tarlos fic as well as some of the unhinged and one-of-a-kind WIPs on your list, Lola. I’m always and forever looking forward to whatever @reyescarlos writes if/when the muse inspires her, in particular an exes-to-lovers second chance romance tarlos WIP that has had me in a chokehold since *checks calendar* May 2022. 😂 Also, maybe 2023 is the year someone writes the modern royal tarlos au I’ve been wanting for years? Anyone? Bueller? 👀🤞🏽

A place you want to go: europe---specifically florence, london, and paris. sadly, that can’t happen this year yet for life reasons. My other place is New York City, and that will be happening! It’s a postponed trip from 2020, so long overdue.

A book you want to read: any book really! 2022 was the year I read the least amount of books in recent memory. I think I actually finished a total of two books which is so sad for a bibliophile and former english minor like myself. I am hoping to be more intentional about reading this year, right now my goal is just 12 books for the year. Keep the bar low and attainable lol. I’m really looking forward to reading Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, in a few weeks!

Something fun you want to do: visit the golden girls kitchen when it makes a tour stop in chicago lol. oh, and catch a broadway show in nyc when I’m there.

Something you want to make: time for myself, like truly for myself, without guilt. Not just saying I’m going to take time for me, only to then secretly knock stuff off of my endless to-do list instead—a good chunk of it stuff for other people (aka a symptom of eldest daughter syndrome).

A habit you want to start: tying it back to the above, I would like to practice mindfulness. I spend a lot of time in my head planning ahead, making lists, and thinking about what if scenarios. I suck at being present lol. I would like 2023 to be the year I lean into the present a bit more, rather than spending so much time preparing to be present later—if that makes sense? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Something new you want to try: not new, really, but before the pandemic, I moved a lot more. I want to get back to working out regularly and my long weekend walks.

Something you want to finish from 2022: all the books I bought in 2022 that I thought I was going to read and instead put into pretty comfort piles on my shelf lol. 📚

Something you want to stop doing: depriving myself of a good night’s sleep. 😴😂

Something you want to keep doing: treating people with kindness because this thing called life is damn hard and we’re all just doing the best we can. Here’s to another 365 days, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. 🗓💪🏽

No pressure tags: @gregoryeddie @carsonnshaw @sunshinestrand @iboatedhere @mistmarauder @howtosingit @jddryder @scienter @marwani-strickland @tailoredshirt @dangermagnetstrand and anyone else who would like to do it, please tag me! 💕

#this is the first time i have given coherent and cohesive thought to 2023 lol #let’s see what the year brings!#tag games #hello it's me #personal #2023 and me #that thing you queue

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zaryathelaika · 1 year

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Got into a YouTube comment fight with someone else who felt the need to correct a person a Yakutian Laika (FCI-Standard N° 365) [PDF, 404 kb, archived] isn't a breed but a landrace. (The original comment was an innocuous "I love Yakutian Laikas and I want one", in a conspicuous consumption sense.) Truuuuuuuuuuueee. Except if one is aware enough the pedigreed breed was extracted from Indigenous dogs, then one would also be aware of cynological writers making a distinction between gentrified breeds and landrace breeds. The condescending person in question shares details of what he knows about Yakutian Laikas enough to make me speculates he reads the same journals and books as we do.

And the comment wasn't typed in a tone of adding something to a conversation, but to make the other person feel silly about themself.

So ... let see what what writers have to say about Indigenous dogs versus pedigreed hunting laikas: (Not going to pontificate about hauling laikas or herding laikas.)

Source: Shiroky, B.I. "Our Northern Dogs" [PDF, 1.08 MB]. Journal of the International Society for Preservation of Primitive Aboriginal Dogs 8 (2004): 5 – 11. Retrieved March 3, 2023. Archived from the original on January 19, 2023 via Wayback Machine.

Source: Popov, Aleksander V. “Hunting Laika” [PDF, 1.91 MB]. Journal of the International Society for Preservation of Primitive Aboriginal Dogs 31 (2012): 21 – 42. Retrieved January 19, 2023. Archived from the original on March 18, 2015 via Wayback Machine.

So, yes, scientists and cynologists are already aware breeds created by kennel clubs and government agencies or breeding committees are artificial constructs.

If you know from reading other people's works, pedigreed dogs are extracted from landrace dogs, then there is no need to be pretentious.

Especially if you're aware enough the RKF (Russian Kynological Federation) breed standard for Yakutian Laikas in 2005 was based on a previous document put forward by the DOSAAF (Volunteer Society for Cooperation with the Army, Aviation, and Navy) in 1959. I get trying to push people to move away from closed studbooks which plague the dog-fancy world, but at the same time ... it's like ... if you knowledge is deep enough to know this specific tidbit, you would also be aware of discussions surrounding that tidbit as well. Don't be so weird towards other people.

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fallenforanescape24 · 1 year

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Chapter 4: Happy New Years

Today is January 1st, 2023.

The First Day of a New Year. I wanted to make this post before posting all my travel posts and pictures from my trip just to reflect on the upcoming new year.

I want to learn more about myself this year. I am honestly excited to see what this year brings. Some of the goals I want to come true this year are the following listed ( Then at the end of the year I'll come back and cross off what I did but I might come back also during the year to add onto it)

My New Years Goals:

more to be added throughout the year

Figure out what I want to do in life. Figure out what to do with the English major (I'm turning 24...omg...)

Attend my first The 1975 Concert

To add onto this last one I want to try and camp and get barricade. (Hey a girl can dream this one might not come true but I can at least try ya know)

Attend more book signings and concerts if they come around

Figure out what I like to do artistically (maybe pick up painting or digital drawing maybe? Graphic Design?)

Travel this Year. Just Travel.

Pass My Goodreads Reading Goal of 100 Books ( I can read more than 100+)

Get good at writing book reviews of books I've read throughout the year asides from doing the star system and moving on actually leaving commentary the authors will appreciate it.

SAVE Money for Concert Tickets & Merch (STOP buying books so this can happen you have a damn Kindle use it instead of buying Physical books you have no more space!)

Stock up on Peace Tea again

More self-care and love yourself (You went through a lot the past few years)

Finish watching the tv shows you started aka Criminal Minds and Supernatural

Break in the Doc Martens you got ( they're going to be your concert/ travel shoes and get thick socks too)

and that is all I have for now for this. someone once said this is a fresh start a new book. you have 365 pages let's see how you write your story and make it yours and no one else. You got this!!!

Happy New Years Everyone and Cheers to a Good Year!!!. 🎆🎇🥂🤍

-❤︎R

#journal entry #the 1975 #all time low #peace tea #new years goals #book tumblr #concert tours

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diaryoftheunidropout · 2 months

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DAY 365

A year. A year since I dropped out. A whole year since "Day 1", March 3rd 2023.

It's crazy how fast time has passed and how many things have happened and how, in a way, not much has changed.

I have grown very fond of Queen these past few weeks, not that I wasn't into their music before, but this is just another level of admiration. I've been to the UK many, many times, and to the US too. I've been Logan's WWG. I've had Alice tag me in their story literally yesterday, thanking me for the book I gave them. I've met new people, and I've lost friends. I've had dreams, doubts, moments of hope and others of despair. I've realized how important the arts and culture were to me and how I wanted a job connected to that, perhaps just not on the artist's side due to my clear lack of talent and abilities (at least in my own opinion). I've also very recently realized that finding a job in that field would prove extremely difficult, as there are more people wanting to work in it than jobs available, and the degrees requirements often feel out of my reach.

So I still don't really know what my plan is now. When I dropped out, I wanted to take a few weeks off, then find a job, anything, and then go back to my studies by September, probably a business school. Turns out, I never felt well enough to work until August, and by then I'd given up on the idea of going back to studying for very long (probably around May). Found a job in September, felt so miserable that I quit at the end of the third day, and I've been trying to find some stability since then, and also a new, better plan. And I feel very stuck.

A completely delusional part of me is convinced I am destined to do great things and to be a star, in one way or another. A photographer? A writer? Something else? Nothing, perhaps? I often fantasize about writing a great book that people will love, and readers coming up to me asking for an autograph, and Alice reading it and loving it and realizing it I wrote it for them and us becoming friends and maybe someday having a very special bond, because we are soulmates and it was meant to be, right? And all along, it was always meant to be this way and my dad was never disappointed in me or my life choices because he always knew, as one now-omniscient being does, that I would do Great things.

I'm writing now and everything flows and comes so naturally, and I wish it were like this when I write fiction. I wish I'd have the motivation, the will, the determination. I know it's already in me, but it's buried so deep...

I think reading about Queen has just reinforced these illusions in my mind. How they started from nothing and built this incredible career and carved out outstanding lives for themselves. I want that, and I'm capable of that. I want to think that way every day, and even when I don't or can't, I want to pretend that I think this way until I convince myself again that I do.

My dad has been dead for 4 years and I want to make him proud. I want the past 356 days to represent a period of growth in my life, as well as one during which I made dreams come true and realized that my priority should always be chasing more and more of my dreams.

So I'll put this out into the universe: I want to do great things and be successful. I want my name to be known and associated with something positive that is loved by many. I never want to worry about money ever again. I want to surround myself with good people and make my own dreams come true.

I will.

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firstdegreefangirl · 4 months

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Final 2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Total books read: 76

Total pages read: 23,942

Days read: 286/365 (78 percent of the days all year)

Average star rating: 4/5

Challenge Prompts Filled: 109 total. Popsugar: 34/49. Romanceopoly: 31/36. CRAD: 12/12. BTBL: 32/50

Top Five Books (all five star reads, in no particular order; it was hard enough narrowing down to five in the first place)

In Five Years by Rebecca Searle

The Last Flight by Julie Clark

You and Me on Vacation (aka The People We Meet on Vacation) by Emily Henry

Sink or Sell by Margaret Rose

Bear With Me Now by Katie Shephard

I fell a little behind on journal posting the last couple months, so November and December are under the cut!

November 2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Total books read: 5

Total pages read: 1,657

Days read: 25/30

Average star rating: 3.8/5

Challenge Prompts Filled: I stopped keeping track of the challenge prompts this month. Nothing I was in the mood to read fit with much of anything, except Chantal Reads All Day. The point was to find a new way to pick books, not to torment myself with things i didn’t want to read, so I stopped counting when it stopped being fun.

A Proposal They Can’t Refuse by Natalie Caña ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I got this in a Facebook group swap I joined in October and couldn’t wait to start reading! It’s an excellent balance of romance and family drama, spearheaded by a couple of spitfire-y old men. The epilogue felt a little incohesive with the rest of the story, but I’m waiting to see if this debut is the first in a series before I judge it too harshly – I could see it being a nice way to tie several stories together, but if this is a standalone then it didn’t quite fit perfectly imo. Aside from that, this was a top-notch read! Friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, with a heaping scoop of “actually talking about your problems is the first step to solving them?” Sign me UP! This one packs an emotional punch in a few places, especially if you’re sensitive to cancer mentions, but it was handled wonderfully from where I’m sitting, and fed into a delightful story. I can’t wait to find out if we’ll get to see any more of these families!

Prompts filled: BTBL – 2022 Debut Novel; Popsugar – Features two languages; Romanceopoly – The Bar/MC works at or owns a bar

One Night on the Island by Josie Silver ⭐⭐⭐(¾)

Many thanks to the local librarian who sat this one out in my book bag last month! I wasn’t sure about it at first, but I’m trying to read those down before they’re all due back, so I gave it a shot. Almost from the very first page, I was enraptured; now I’m trying to convince myself that moving to a remote island village in Ireland is not the move I want to make in my life. Because wow did this make it sound cute and idyllic and wonderful. The romance wasn’t quite everything I was looking for, but I suppose the ending befits the story: it’s almost as much women’s fiction as it is contemporary romance. Honestly, the biggest thing I'm missing as a reader was the aha moment where the title falls into place and makes sense. That's always such a fun moment, and as much as I enjoyed the every bit of the story, I wish I’d gotten to enjoy that feeling too. But honestly, how bad can a book be if it makes me tear up at a robotics meeting?

Booked on a Feeling by Jayci Lee ⭐⭐⭐(¾)

This is a cute bookstore romance! I love book-themed books as a concept; they’re not quite meta, but there’s something close to a fourth-wall break, I think, that makes them very entertaining to me. It’s childhood/best friends to lovers, with solid anxiety rep, which I always love to see in stories. Aside from that, it was sweet, it was cute, it was sort of unremarkable, as romance stories go? I did like seeing Lizzy build friendships and find herself as her relationship with Jack developed, and it certainly wasn’t panful to finish. Mostly it was a solid, middle-of-the-road fluffy romance. Plus books and bookstores. It’s also about books and bookstores.

Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer ⭐⭐(¾) Listen. Sometimes you don’t read a book because you think you’ll like it. You read it because it’s so absurd that you can’t believe it actually exists and you need to know more. That’s why I was interested in Hope Never Dies. It’s been on my radar for a couple of years, but somehow I never though to check the local library. Then I stopped in on a whim one day, on my way between robotics and work, and found this book AND the sequel on the 50 cent sale rack. For a dollar, I’ll try reading almost anything, but it gets BETTER because the librarian gave them to me for free. I was so excited to dig in, knowing that it was sure to be absolutely ridiculous. And it was. This book is crack. It’s just crack. Biden is the jealous ex-girlfriend watching Obama move on after his presidency, until a murder brings them back together and they become a pair of private investigators trying to find out who killed the Amtrak conductor. It’s a wild ride, start to finish, and worth absolutely every page. But that’s not the same thing as a “good” book. Just a book that’s worth reading if you like to laugh at the absurd.

CRAD November Prompt: set in a different time than your October book

Too Much is Not Enough by Andrew Rannells ⭐⭐⭐⭐(¾) An excellent memoir! I’ve been a fan of Andrew Rannells for years, and actually tried to start this book the year it came out, but life did the thing and I never got around to finishing it. It’s fun, it’s heartfelt, it covers his life before his career really took off, and that’s always a chapter of life I’m interested in. It’s not a memoir I’d say is really applicable to everyone, but if you like theater, or if you like Andrew Rannells, definitely check it out.

December 2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Total books read: 6

Total pages read: 1,214

Days read: ?/31 (I didn’t do a good job keeping up with my planner this month because I was so busy. But I know I read at least half the days, so for the sake of my EOY counter, I’m going to call it 20.)

Average star rating: 3.79/5

Challenge Prompts Filled: Still not counting these. Oops?

In The Likely Event by Rebecca Yarros ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This. Book. Was. Incredible! I actually started it late November, but it was after the first of the month when I finished it, so it’s a December book. And a damned good one. I was recommending it to people before I’d even finished it because I was enjoying it so much (my deepest apologies to head coach, who I traumatized by giving it a chili pepper ranking, and then having to explain THAT scale). It’s a little bit out of my wheelhouse, but it’s good to spread my horizons sometimes. It’s action-packed, romantic, compelling as all hell (even if I don’t usually love dual timeline, this one held my attention from the very start and I finished it at 1 a.m., crying in my reading chair), and probably three pepper spicy, if that’s something that matters to you.

The Trouble With Christmas by Amy Andrews ⭐⭐⭐(¼) This one took AGES to read. After I finished In the Likely Event, I wanted to switch to Christmas reading, starting with this thrift store find. Over two weeks later, I was still working on it, and I don’t even know why! I was busy, and it’s one of the longer books I read this year, but it didn’t feel like it moved that slowly. It’s definitely not a fast paced read, but the story never lagged or made me want to leave it behind. It’s cute, it’s Christmassy, she’s a struggling artist and he’s a veteran rancher, she ropes him into pretending to be her boyfriend for a harebrained scheme, and it’s really not a spoiler to tell you that they fall in love for Christmas. What’s not to like?

Miracle on Three Kings’ Day by Beth Laycock ⭐⭐⭐ Full disclosure: after The Trouble With Christmas took so long, I focused on novellas so I’d have a prayer of reading five books for December. My holiday season was super busy, and I had a bunch downloaded that I’d been meaning to read anyway. This was a fun take on celebrating non-Christmas winter holidays, without a single flake of snow on the ground. It’s quick, it’s steamy, I felt like I could picture the main characters at every step of the way. Solid rec, if you’re looking for something short and engaging without too much depth.

Hazel’s Christmas Duet by Olivia Rian ⭐⭐⭐(½) I love a love story that’s not just about the romance, and this was exactly that! Hazel is new to town, finding her footing with new friends and rediscovering herself after a bad breakup. It’s a Hallmark movie in a mini-short, cozy and warm, and featuring a festively-named kitten. Easily something I could curl up and read beside a fire, if the fire didn’t mean that my apartment needed evacuating.

Noah by Callie Vegas ⭐⭐⭐ Uh. This is not a Christmas book, it turns out. It’s a Valentine’s Day novella –the miscommunication is on me; the series is called “Holiday Flings,” and I mistakenly assumed that meant “the holiday season,” not “every book in the series is set during a different season.” Not a bad read, but people with reading habits like mine should know that it is VERY NSFW. Well written, we all know I love a single parent trope, but I spent every minute of it hoping that no well-meaning guest would ask what was on my Kindle. Just ... be aware of that.

The Clause in Christmas by Rachael Bloome ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I really came in under the wire and finished my last read half an hour before my friends came over for New Year’s Eve game night. But I finished it, and that’s what counts! One of my favorite cheesy Christmas movies – this feels like a tangent, but bear with me – is The Christmas Calendar, and this reminded me a little bit of that! The premise was only very loosely similar: 24 Christmas tasks, distributed one day at a time, to get ready for the holiday, but it had the perfect vibe. As much as I was invested in the romance – I was VERY invested in the romance, trust me – I was waiting with every page to find out what the next Christmas task would be and how Cassie would embrace it. And a cute romance on top of that? What a way to wind things down for 2023!

CRAD December prompt: within 20 pages of November book

#katie reads #kr23 #eoy2023 #eoy23

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wren-like-the-bird007 · 4 months

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2023,

It’s been a year, hasn’t it? You stole the parts of me I loved the most and left me a husk of all the broken promises my loved ones made. Is this what you wanted for me?

I sit here as the last few minutes of you tick by, and I can’t help but cry. i spent 365 days trying to fix myself. i spent 365 days failing.

Resolutions fell down the drain when i found out what he did, when i found out she knew, when i realized he was just like the rest of them, and she never really cared. how can i worry about reading 25 books when my trust is shattered then scattered?

when i met you, 2023, i thought that you had to be better than your predecessor. my grandmother passed in 2022, leaving me to wander through the streets of grief without a map. i got lost in that grief. so when I met you, I was convinced you would hold my hand and walk me home.

do you regret the pain you put me in? or do you wear it proudly?

you weren’t all terrible. i made some new friends since you began. i’ve aced my classes and been given opportunities i could never imagine. i met someone new…and I really like him. you gave me some silver linings, but i would have appreciated less clouds.

so here we sit. waiting for you to pass. how does it feel? to know your time left is so limited. i hope your sister treats me kinder, though if she shares your blood I hold many doubts.

good luck with what comes next 2023, i hope you gave others the kindness you withheld from me.

forever yours,

wrenlikethebird007

#2023 #a letter #fuck you

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ashotofhelena · 4 months

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2024

Dwelling on the past... perhaps my favorite December pastime. There is truly nothing more I enjoy than writing down my thoughts regarding the past 365 days, and what I am looking forward to the next 365 days.

Well, it happened. My theory of odd years being better has officially been disproven. I came into 2023 feeling excited, hopeful that it is finally an odd year -- things will finally grow and change for me. And to be clear, I do think 2023 was a year of personal growth. I definitely learned so much about myself, my needs, what I want to focus on in the future.

Yet, it was definitely not a year of change. While I would not say I feel stagnant, I also definitely did not create the changes I wanted to in 2023. Again, I find myself in the same job, the same relationship status, the same mindset. I don't think there is anything wrong, per se, with no changes, but I also am actively craving things that I didn't achieve this year. I guess that is why I feel like 2023 was a down year for me -- I had all these high hopes and expectations for change that never materialized.

Reading back on my 2023 entry, I wanted the year to be the year of change. That didn't happen. Perhaps it was the way I interacted with the world that did not bring the change; perhaps it was the way I overthought things with myself that led to another year of slight melancholy. But with the fresh start of 2024, I absolutely do want to strive for the changes I desire, and make it imperative that I achieve those changes.

2024 will be the year of focus, self-care, and abundance. Instead of leaning into change itself, I feel like focusing on my mindset will help me to gravitate towards the change I want. So with that, here are my resolutions for the year.

Dating and adopting an open mind to meeting new people. I am making this the priority goal for me in 2024. I have never really desired needing a partner, and while I still don't think I need someone else, I do find myself wanting to meet someone who truly sees me for who I am, and want to experience life with me. As a way to quantify this -- I am going to try going on 2 first dates a months.

Hard 31! I refuse to do the full Hard 75 but I am committed to doing Hard 31 in January (give or take the weekend I am in Austin). My version will be 31 days long, no alcohol, working out 1 hour everyday, eating out once a week only, no processed carbs or sugar while eating in, reading 10-15 minutes a day, and going to bed by 11:30pm every night. Let's see how I do...

Run 1K miles. I am committed to doing the 9+1 this year and that means a lot of running! With that, I am going to up my annual goal back up to 1K and hoping to go even beyond that. Running has been up and down for me this year so I really want 2024 to be the year I relearn to enjoy it consistently.

Read 30 books. Similar to last year, I want to focus on books mostly by BIPOC and underrepresented groups authors. Having diverse consumption brings so much value to me and I really enjoyed learning from the books I have read from those authors this year.

Do more pilates, yoga and weight lifting. With the running, I am hoping to add in other types of workout classes. I think I will do 2 classes a week of a mix of the 3 types above.

Financial planning. This one is big - the older the get, the more I realize I value financial security. Taking the time tomorrow to get some financials in order, and then continue to manage it via YNAB / Mint over time.

Look for a new job. 2023 was professionally a rollercoaster. On one hand, I love the work I do, my manager & team, and the products I get to work on. On the other hand, the company has shown that they may not care as much about their employees as I thought. I am also in a stage of my life where I am really valuing career growth and pay, which is something I am not sure my current role will give me. I wouldn't leave for just any job, but I am going to spend the time looking for roles that fit and will get me to the next level of my career.

Journal consistently every day. I started journaling this year and it has been so helpful, but I think I would get even more value if I did it everyday and wrote down my general feelings for the day. Take the time to do this on a daily basis.

Actually look into a writing class or comedy class! I really enjoy writing my thoughts down and want to seriously look into taking a writing class, and just start writing more. I will restart my Substack, and take a writing class in the new year. I also think I might want to take a comedy class? We will see on that one...

Stop buying materials / clothes / Amazon as much. I have been in a rabbit hole of fashion reels and it has got me consuming SO much more than usual. Making it a goal to not buy any new clothing for the first 4 months of the year, and then reassess in May if I need anything. Same with random things from Amazon - only the essentials!

Other misc. resolutions: be more intentional about my media consumption (and also be more international! I want to listen to music and read books and watch movies from non-Western countries); be more mindful of my alcohol consumption in general; make an effort to see people I really want to see and be a planner; travel to at least one new state and two new countries!; continue to eat less meat and sugar!

I am grateful to have made it another year in one piece, and happy to have had beautiful memories and friends to share them with in 2023. But I would not be lying if I also said I am really relieved that the social concept of the new year is happening today, and I can look forward to 2024. As always, I am cautiously optimistic for what 2024 will bring, and hope it will be a year of new beginnings, and sated yearnings.

#2024 #resolutions

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the-hyphen-is-important · 1 year

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I like this style of cover better than what's on the other Twisted Tales books I have

Book 110/365 (May.14-15)

A Whole New World by Liz Braswell

First

#trying to read 365 books in 2023 #disney twisted tales #disney #aladdin

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mceproductions · 4 months

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‘23 Was Definitely For Me (Year In Review)

Another 365 Days around the sun complete.

And once again, the hype didn’t crash with all the pressure that was put on it.

But like before, as we enter the Jack Bauer year, we first must take a look at the goals I had set myself 52 long weeks ago.

As before previous scoring will apply to it and all that had been set up with it.

Now…

Find Someone Result: Split Got to meet some new faces and learn new skills but in terms of love life, I’m still looking.

Do Pushups and Sit-ups Daily (More reasonable amount this time) Result: Split Mixed in some new Facebook advertised exercises, but never did end up doing them daily.

Try Ice Fishing Result: Fail Never got the chance.

Lose Weight Result: No Decision Dropped 15 but added 9 Back, may try a different approach.

Move Forward Result: Pass One of the big personal growths I had this year, took opportunity on a new job which went great although didn’t end up panning out.

6. Visit Another State Besides Minnesota Result: No Decision Ended up keeping things close to the chest. 7. Attend and NFL or NBA Game Result: Split Made plans to attend nearby NFL Draft so that counts. 8. Make an impact at work Result: Pass Whether it was with my short stint or long term impact I did make myself heard and felt with my jobs this year.

9. Save $250 Result: Pass May not have been via the bank, but secondary job ended up allowing me the rare feat of banking with what I’ve earned and withdrawing if I needed funds for pre payday usage. 10. Try not to be afraid of things beyond my control. Result: Pass Despite some scary moments for me I didn’t waver at the sight of bad things happening and got to work fixing any issues that may have arisen.

Our Final Score.

2023 Overall Score 6.5 Out of 8

Verdict: If anything could be said about ’23 For Me its that like its namesake the results are both unexpected and bountiful in more than one enterprise.

Never got the chance to get outside the state but have gone further south than ever with my first solo trip to Menominee.

Visiting an amazing theater then ended up coming back in the middle of a rainstorm.

Ironic considering 5 days later I ended up caught in one resulting in damage to my car only windshield ended up being fixed.

We would continue to also see time move on for us family wise as Connor would firmly establish himself in the contract building game, though losing another dog was the downside.

Made one of the biggest leaps in my life with taking a new job opportunity and I did have myself a great few months helping out people who needed it. Only wish that could have stuck without the dreaded q word that would do me in.

Now of course we do have to set ourselves some benchmarks for 2024.

Starting with the Carryovers.

Find Someone

Do Push-Ups and Situps Daily (Reasonable Amount)

Attend a Sporting Event (Preferably NFL, NBA or MLB)

Move Forward

Make an impact at work.

Save $250

Visit another state besides Minnesota

Along with 3 newbies.

8. Read More than Apple Books and Goodreads Goals.

9. Establish EMAC Lmtd (For Real)

10. Reunite with old friends.

Like before if I can get 55% of these done, I’ll consider this upcoming year a success.

Many are calling 2024 one of the most crucial years we’ll be seeing for some time. Which is why I’m calling it the ticking motion.

If Jack Bauer can mange to do so much in 24 maybe I can do a lot more when it comes to 2024. Plus, we’ll have an extra day on top of it, so much I know can be done in that timeframe.

Either way this upcoming trip around the sun will be something I’m looking forward to.

Like before, its going to be a fun ride.

Signing off with a familiar mantra.

We’ll see you all in 366 Days.

With Great Pleasure.

MATTHEW WARREN HOLZEM

#2023 in review #year end wrap up #2024 goals #new years resolution #best of 2023 #barbenheimer

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dailyaudiobible · 6 months

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10/27/2023 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 51:1-53, Titus 2:1-15, Psalm 99:1-9, Proverbs 26:17

Today is the 27th day of October, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian, it’s great to be here with you today for of course, the next step forward in the journey that we find ourselves on together. And if my math is correct, this is day 301. So, this is our 301st step of 365 steps on this adventure, that is the Bible. And we’re kinda running the corner on the book of Jeremiah. And we’ve spent most of this month reading from Jeremiah in the Old Testament. We will conclude the book of Jeremiah tomorrow. We are also reading Paul's letter to Titus, which we will also conclude tomorrow, but it's not tomorrow. It's today. So, from the Names of God Bible, Jeremiah chapter 51 verses 1 through 53.

Commentary:

Okay, let's talk about the Proverb for a second, and then we will tie it to something that Paul says in Titus. Okay, so, do you know someone in your life that they seem to be in every single argument around you? Like they’re in everything. Like, they can be around people and maybe overhear somebody debating or having a conversation and then they insert themselves into the equation, uninvited, as if they can't help themselves. We all probably know people like that. Maybe we even are a person like that. The book of Proverbs counsels us that that is like sneaking up behind a dog and grabbing it by the ears. And I don't care whether it's a little dog or a big dog, that…that's never a good plan, because you’re gonna get growled at, snapped at, maybe even bitten. That's what you set yourself up for when you insert yourself into other people's business, and it doesn't usually go well. And a lot of times when we are that person, we might be thinking, like, I’m just trying to help people, and I talk to people, and I’m just trying to help but what we’re not realizing is we really like hearing ourselves speak and we like to instruct people whether they want it or not. We feel like we have a valuable…valuable opinion and it needs to be heard whether…whether anyone wants to hear it or not. And then pretty soon, nobody wants to hear it. And then we wonder why we don't have any friends. And it's because we keep grabbing a dog by its ears, by inserting ourselves where we’re not invited. Now, conversely, we probably also could bring to mind a person in our life that we think is full of wisdom and wise, and it's rare to find that kind of a person inserting themselves into every equation. Those are the people that we seek out. We actually want their opinion, we actually want to know what they have to say and what they might be able to share, because they live a life that we look up to and they carry wisdom that we seek. And we witness their relationship with God, and we witness their self-control. Like, we witness the evidence of that relationship and we seek it out. Paul refers to that kind of person, in his letter to Titus. So, he’s going down a list of different life circumstances and behaviors that…that would be appropriate and proper in those circumstances. And then he says, after all God's saving kindness has appeared for the benefit of all people. It trains us to avoid ungodly lives filled with worldly desires, so that we can live self-controlled, moral and Godly lives, in this present world. So like, so that we can live this way right now. So that we can live self-controlled, moral and Godly lives right now, while at the same time, hoping for what we are expecting, the appearance of the glory of our God and Savior Jesus Christ. So, Paul basically gives us an example or a view of the opposite of what the Proverb is talking about, and tells us that it's available right now in this present world. Which brings us to the ultimate question of why do we do the things that we do? If we don't have any really deep relationships because we insert ourselves into everything and grab the dog by the ears all of the time, then we can ask ourselves, what's underneath that, because that behavior is just an outpouring of something below and we’re exposing our own insecurities. And yet, according to the letter to Titus, God's saving kindness invades that space and trains us to avoid things that are ungodly in every way. And trains us to live self-controlled, including our tongues. Self-controlled, moral and Godly lives in this present world, in the right now.

Prayer:

And so Father that is what we want. All of the story that has led us to this place and all of the behaviors that go along with it that are at times destructive or unhelpful, at minimum. We surrender that to you because it's unlikely that we’re not aware, that we’re just completely unaware. And so, we surrender those insecurities and those wounds and the assumptions that we continually formulate, the things that we invent in our heads all of the time. All of that stuff that motivates us in ways that are not self-controlled, moral, and Godly in this present world, all of that, we surrender to You and invite Your Holy Spirit to come, restore, repair, heal and make new again, those places that are trigger points for us in our behaviors. Come Holy Spirit, we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Prayer and Encouragements:

This is Atis Eight, calling from Cincinnati, Ohio. And I’m calling in to pray for Liza and His Little Sharie. I’m a little bit behind and I’m catching up. But those two prayer requests really just pricked my heart. And so, that I offer, I hold my sister Sharie up to You God and I pray that You would lay Your hand on her body. God, I ask that You would give her perfect peace that passes all understanding for every decision that she has to make concerning her health challenges. And I ask, oh God, that You would give her just guidance on what to do and what not to do and just how to move forward in this specific situation. I thank You for her encouragement and for her just being so faithful to this community. And I pray, oh God, that You would just lead, guide and direct her. Continue to wrap Your arms around her, oh God. And in the midnight hour, I pray that You would just whisper, in Your still, small voice in her ear that comfort, so that she knows that You are still leading and guiding and working, even though You may not necessarily be saying anything. And I also ask, oh God, that You would lay Your hand on my sister Liza’s body. That You would move in the miraculous, oh God. Do the supernatural in her life, oh God. And I pray oh God, that You would just remove any discomfort that she’s feeling and just give her peace also. As she navigates through this situation. We believe You to be the perfect healer. In Jesus name. Amen.

Hello DAB family, this is Doctor Bob from Phoenix. I just heard the anguish in Junk to Treasure’s voice. And she just posted on the community prayer all the stresses she’s been going through, the disappointments, the financial difficulties that she’s had with her events and with her phone. And Junk to Treasure, I just want to say, I’m not the prayer warrior that you are. I admire all the prayers that you give forth every single time you’re on this platform. You pray for everyone, all over the world. I think it’s time for us to pray for you. Let me pray for you directly. Again, I’m not a great prayer warrior, Junk to Treasure, but you mean so much to me and I’m sure to all of us. So, let me just ask our Lord in heaven, please come to the aid of Your faithful servant, Junk to Treasure, as she’s going through these difficulties with her phone and her living in rural America with lack of reception, lack of adequate funds to get her through from month to month. Lord, she’s a great warrior for You, for all of us. Please come to her needs as I’m sure you always do. You’ve always kept all of us under Your wings. And You always provide for us all in our times of need. So, let me be the one to…to make this prayer, make this special request to You, Lord. Come to Junk to Treasure’s aid today. Bless her, keep blessing her, and give her the financial resources and the peace that she needs that goes beyond all understanding. Thank you. Bless you, bless you all.

Hey Lauriann from South Carolina. This is Heather of Pikes Peak by way of Texas. And I heard you on the Daily Audio Bible on October 22nd and you know, it saddens me too, what Christ went through to die on the cross. But this was ordained by God so that there would be no more sacrifices. He would end all sacrifices, for all time. He covered every sin on the earth for all time. And that means, even people in the world, they don’t know it, but their sins are covered by Jesus. And when you come to Jesus and you accept Jesus as your own, and you accept him as your savior, your sins are forgiven. That’s it. That’s it. There’s no hoops, there’s no special works, there’s no nothing that we can do. Jesus did it all. And so, Jesus says, you know, in John chapter 10, verse 29, that you know, that the Lord has made him shepherd and no one, no one, can snatch His sheep out of His hand. No one! So, that means your name is written in the book of life. You have a salvation through Christ Jesus. You are a part of the bride, which is the bride of Christ, which is the church. We are the body of the church. So, tell that demon of doubt and you don’t need to battle that anymore. That your name is written in the book of life. And you tell him, in the name of Jesus, go away. Because he is not welcome to question your faith. You are a child of God, your name is written in the book of life, Jesus died for you and you have your salvation. I hope this helps you sister. I love you.

Hi there, this is Katie in Ohio. I wanted to call for Lauriann in South Carolina. Lauriann said that she battles doubt that she’ll be in heaven on a continual basis, no matter how much she reads her Bible, or does anything else. And I wanted to say, Lauriann, I’ve gone through periods like that. I don’t think it’s uncommon for, especially certain personality types. I’ve also battled guilt over things that I’ve asked forgiveness for, over and over again. And I was given advice and I want to pass on to you. Lauriann, if you’ve admitted that you’re a sinner, if you believe in your heart that God died for you, if you’ve confessed your sins and asked Him to come in, then He’s forgiven you. Then you will be in heaven. And anything after that, any guilt, any doubt, that is of Satan. That’s not of the Holy Spirit. So, fight off those fears and doubts. Fend them off with the word of God. Memorize scriptures that can bolster you. That can help you get through. Because I am certain I will see you in heaven, and I can’t wait to meet you.

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