#trans men can and DO experience transphobia and I'm so tired of people saying they don't | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nothorses · 6 months

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I think so many TERF arguments rely on the idea that like, the only thing that could possibly justify trans people's existence is whether or not a body could be made to perfectly look one particular way after having looked another particular way. Like the argument "trans people aren't real because a man cannot physically become a woman and vice versa" is predicated entirely on the belief that what makes someone a man or a woman is their body, and nothing else.

And I get kind of tired of arguments that go after that premise alone, if I'm being honest. I think it's important to talk about how fuzzy these "male" and "female" categories really are, but the value in that conversation is in deconstructing the belief in any binary.

Transition hasn't always been around, and lots of trans people don't, won't, can't, or simply haven't transitioned yet. We know from the transmedicalist movement how harmful it can be to pin our beliefs on that model (even though it has helped us make progress in other ways).

And more importantly, I think it validates the core assumption TERFs have that what matters is actually the body. So many of them really do seem to believe that our entire argument is also around bodies, and that because a trans woman's body is capable of being functionally the same as a cis woman's body, that's what validates the existence of all trans women & all trans people.

I also see a lot of this idea that we really believe that trans people's experiences perfectly mirror the experiences of their cis counterparts, and I think that like, it is actually useful to acknowledge the differences in experiences and body in these conversations. I think it's important to be able to talk about how even though I as a trans man have not had the same experiences as most cis men, nor do I have the same body- and even though I am not socially/politically classed the way a cis man is- I also don't have the exact same experiences, body, and social/political classification as cis women.

I think being able to talk about trans people as a different social/political class is important in a lot of ways, and I think it also forces the conversation with TERFs and other transphobes into a new place: it's not about whether we're the same, it's about whether we exist. It's about our material realities and lived experiences, and it's about our internal thoughts and feelings, and our relationships to ourselves.

It's a lot harder to make the argument that they know how we think and feel and what we go through, and it's a lot harder to argue about the internal relationship people have with the concept of gender, than it is to argue about, like, chromosomes or whatever.

The fact of the matter is that they are just straight-up ignoring the way the rest of the world defines gender, the lived and recorded experiences of trans people, and a whole category of oppression that has been thoroughly researched and documented. They're going "nuh-uh!!" whenever someone talks about something they've felt or experienced, and they're calling that a cogent argument.

Y'all, we know trans people's bodies and experiences are different. The whole concept of transphobia relies on it. We're not trying to say otherwise, and we don't need to!

What we're saying is that people have experiences that don't fit a binary model, and there's research to back that up. TERFs etc. are still gonna argue that point, and they do, but like. Make them. Don't engage in shit that doesn't actually matter to that central point in the first place.

(Bonus: in doing so, you make the conversation one that benefits more than just TERFs and other transphobes. You can now actually help broaden people's understanding of trans identity & engage in a useful conversation with people likely to listen!)

#this is also not shade at anyone I've just been thinking about why the biology argument feels so incomplete to me

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transmascpetewentz · 8 months

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if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

i'm ANGRY because i experience homophobia every single day despite the fact that i hide who i am from the rest of my society, and then i go on the internet thinking it's the one place i can openly be myself... and what do i see?

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE SPACE FOR OURSELVES ONLINE.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man!

you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways.

you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting.

you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

you have no idea what it's like to live a LIE, to conceal who you really are, to lie and say you're straight when someone questions you for your own safety, despite the fact that hiding you true self only makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

it's not fair!

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

and, yes, i know you people not my main oppressors. i DESPISE heterosexual males a lot more than i despise you, don't worry. you're not the ones killing us, but i am still irritated with the erasure of digital male homosexual spaces, as well as the transing of male fictional characters, because those two are the only coping mechanisms i have to distract me from my awful reality — and you people have taken that away from me too.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

This anon is really funny, because even if I didn't experience homophobia, you act like transphobia doesn't exist. There's a lot to unpack here, so I'll respond under the cut.

if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

The suicide rate of trans people in my country (USAmerica) is 50% lmfao. While I'm currently in an okay place mentally, the same can't be said for most others in situations similar to mine. I try to use the mental energy that I do have to do activism that will help me and others like me.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

Trans men exist in non-western countries. The reason that you don't know of us is because it is literally too dangerous for us to come out in countries that do not accept us. The only reason I'm even out to a few people is because my gender nonconformity was obvious before I even realized I was trans, so being visibly trans wouldn't change much in terms of how I'm treated. I also lived in a country where being gay and/or trans is illegal before I moved to USAmerica, and I was targeted there for my gender nonconformity even though I didn't know I was trans whilst living there. Even though I live in USAmerica now, I'm not divorced from the reality of what it's like to be queer in a country where things are worse.

I, too, experience homophobia every single day, even though I try to hide my homosexuality. Being AFAB doesn't exempt you from experiencing homophobia. Instead, I get to hear what cishets say when they think no gays are in the room. People like me are treated as jokes and predators at the same time.

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

Actually, most gay male spaces are hostile to trans men, which has caused us to form our own spaces. If you go to our spaces and then get mad that you see trans men, cry about it. Also, the use of "you people" is so telling. Don't the people in your country refer to gays as "you people" or similar? So don't do the same to trans people.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man! you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways. you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting. you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

Actually, yes I do know what that is like! I've had those things fucking happen to me! Except for me, it's not just homophobia, it is transandrophobia as well. People see me as a predator and potential rapist any time I try to express any attraction to men. Why are cis people trying to educate trans people on what it's like to be socially ostracized? Lol. Lmao even.

...are you fucking serious right now. You, cis person, have no idea what it's like to actually live a lie, to lie and say you're a woman and dress like a woman for your safety even though it makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day! I understand that cis gays face homophobia but are you fucking serious right now? I really hope that you're joking.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

Actually yes I do because I am a transsexual man. Except due to being raised as a girl, I have been taught to accept dehumanization from cis men and women alike. I had to spend years unlearning the misogyny I was raised to accept, and I still have a lot more work to do. The thing is, if I was to say something like the statement above to someone, I would be called an "edgy teenage girl faking depression for attention" because you have to be a cis man for your problems to be taken seriously.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

The only requirements of being a homosexual male is to identify as male and be homosexual. That's it. There isn't a required amount of suffering that you must go through to receive your gay man card, and even if there was, every gay trans man has suffered far more than whatever the requirement is.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

Actually we have experienced these things, because we are homosexual males, and we face transandrophobia as well as homophobia. We also do not have the loudest voices in online gay male communities. If you're a user on this side of Tumblr, you are either invading transmasc spaces and acting like they are the entire community, or you are in an echo chamber that tells you that we are the loudest in the community.

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

What is it about my blog that makes you think I enjoy being transsexual? I constantly talk about how awful people are to me, how my sexuality and gender are constantly targeted by others, and how all of these problems are systemic. I do not enjoy facing systemic oppression on the basis of my gender and sexuality.

Guess what—you, as a cis man, are perfectly able to relate to trans male characters. If a character being trans makes you unable to relate to them anymore, maybe you should examine what makes you believe that you are so different from trans men. Maybe it's because you don't see us as human.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

You are not a transphobe because you face homophobia. You facing homophobia was not what convinced you that trans men aren't people. You are using your experiences with homophobia as an excuse to be transandrophobic while the root of your bigotry is actually a form of systemic oppression just like homophobia, except one where you are part of the oppressor class.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

And I am disappointed in how your community excludes, ostracizes, fetishizes, and disrespects transsexual men. Except y'all are way louder about the issue of us existing than we are about the regular dehumanization that we face from y'all.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

Cry about it.

#asks #anon hate #transandrophobia #long post

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henrioo · 6 months

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CIS PEOPLE CANNOT DECIDE THE PARAMETERS FOR SOMEONE TO BE TRANS OR NOT

I'M FUCKING TIRED OF A CIS COMING TO ME AND SAYING I'M NOT A MAN BECAUSE I HAVE LONG HAIR, BECAUSE I LIKE DRESSES OR HIGH HEELS

THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE AND I WILL CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE IT, I WILL CHOOSE HOW I WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED, I HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE, NOT YOU

After this scream I'm going to vent a little because even though I'm a hard rock to break, it doesn't mean that things don't affect me

If they don't hurt me anymore, it will be very difficult for you to hurt me, you know, especially about my trans experience. It's hard enough to offend me, so getting hurt is even harder

But it doesn't mean it doesn't affect me, and it affects and affects me, frustrating me, making me mad at a level where I often question how someone is so stupid

There's this woman (cis straight) and we were from a common group and we became friends, everything was fine, we had similar tastes, etc

But she did something that really irritated me, which was writing Mpreg, if you don't know why this is transphobic, etc. I genuinely don't feel like explaining now, but feel free to send me a message and I'll explain it better later and no, it's not necessarily forbidden to write Mpreg because of this, ok? It's more complicated than it looks

But I ignored it and like I said, mpreg is transphobic but being a writer or artist who uses it doesn't make you one, it's different, you know

But I started to notice the signs, one of the first was how she REFUSED to write trans men when it came to mpreg, she said she simply didn't like it and felt it wasn't her style, She also said that she would much rather have men giving birth through the ass than using a natural biological process that is men giving birth through a vagina

You may not see transphobia in this but it's fucking weird

And then I also started to realize that she was strangely obsessed with gay ships, to the level of just liking them and refusing to imagine them with women or accept other couples

It was also very strange that she EXCLUSIVELY liked gay couples, seriously, both the extreme of only liking LGBT couples and only liking straight couples is problematic, ok?

And now I found out that she also came up with this talk about Yamato being a woman, and I just started to get pissed off because it wasn't just like, oh that's my opinion, She spoke in a way that was like, this is a fucking truth and if you don't believe it, you're seeing something that isn't there

AND HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WANTING TO DICTATE WHAT MAKES SOMEONE BE TRANS OR NOT???

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT A CHARACTER IS NOT TRANS WHEN YOU ARE A FUCKING CIS??? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TRANS

And all her arguments were bullshit about Yamato only being inspired by Oden, what a holy shit it already happened, right, use a real argument, holy shit

I'm just fucking tired of people like this

People who aren't even trans thinking they know what it's like to be trans, who know how trans people manifest themselves and expose themselves

No, no, Yamato took showers with men because he likes Luffy, ahem, of course that was it

No, no, Yamato continued using male pronouns even after saying he no longer wanted to be Oden due to Oda's mistake, of course

No, no, Yamato being called son by Kaido himself which only shows that his father knew and supported, besides showing the rest of the world calling him daughter is not a parallel for trans people who are in the closet and can only come out to their parents and sometimes not even that, Of course not, Oda would never think of that pfft

I'm tired, tired of seeing stupid people, because seriously, a person is not stupid because they don't know something, a person is stupid because they refuse to learn something

And transphobes and homophobes are the stupidest people on the face of the earth because they will always refuse to learn

And besides being funny, it's kind of sad, because they never keep it to themselves, they always need to attack others to prove it

Well I never think anyone reads my huge posts but I like to vent on them because I like tumblr

So my dear trans colleague, don't be discouraged, don't be afraid, don't give up

Because you are a star that will still shine brightly in this sky and these idiots will be far below you, millions of light years away, seeing only an illusion of your light, because you will be so badass and so brilliant, that they won't be able to come close to admire your true light

#one piece #henri talk #onepiece #yamato is trans #one piece yamato #fuck transphobes #transgender #transisbeautiful #transmasc #lgbtqia #trans community #im furious #fuck cis people

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patricide1885 · 4 months

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I'm starting to see the switch from transsexual to transgender as an ultimate L considering you have queer people making jokes like a guy asking a ftm if he's the mail man and the ftm replying "well no, but I am a man". What the fuck? Why would you say that? If there's any situation where cancelling someone is appropriate it's this, but all the comments are positive and you have trans mascs playing along.

I think viewing hrt as a minor aesthetic thing is fucked up. It all goes down to this idea that we aren't what we say we are and we're pretending. I know some people are happy with their natal biology but have a masculine gender identity. They can be transgender. That's fine, but the fact that sex essentialism has been made the norm even within trans spaces... I don't understand how so many people are okay with it. It's this transphobia that is now built into trans activism and I'm now getting triggered whenever someone says "well actually there's a difference between sex and gender". Sure whatever, but how dare you apply that to me? The only way for me to not have people, even queer people, do that is for me to remain stealth.

In general I think the fact that there's a subportion of trans people who are okay with whatever and are allowing whatever arbitrary thing they're okay with to be applied to trans people as a whole is messed up. We don't have the same experience. I think assuming we all do is a problem. If you're genuinely happy with your natal biology and being seen as having it - that's wonderful because the alternative is a lot of shit to go through, you're transgender and not transexual, sure. But you can't speak for me and my experiences.

And I hate that I specifically mistrust most trans people. I don't feel any safer outing myself to them than I do to the general population because they are not fucking trustworthy and they're very likely to be transphobic as fuck. Especially trans men/mascs and often nonbinaries. Trans women seem to be a little better about this and I feel way more comfortable around them. It feels very invalidating to not even have other trans people see you correctly. It doesn't make me feel safe. It doesn't make me feel safe in regards to future policy etc. I feel I need to move to a new country as a man and remove all official record of my being trans to be safe. The only real way to be the human I am is to disappear.

I'm tired of reactionary politics being normalized and celebrated.

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starry-eyed-fag · 9 months

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This universe, actually :) Passing as a trans man is like, easy mode, if you don't, I feel bad you don't have access to hormones, and if you do, then, well, sounds like a skill issue. Anyways, I saw you following the old refrain of "Let me misgender myself to win an argument and avoid accountability" gambit. I get if you wanna be a girl so bad just so you can tell those nasty trannies to shut up, but man, you're embarrassing us.

Also, if you play the victim and start whining about this ask, you owe me ten dollars.

First of all, this isn't my politics/discourse blog. You spent all 5 minutes typing up this ask but couldn't read my pinned to find my discourse blog. That's pathetic if you ask me.

Second, it's not actually easy to pass as a trans man, and even if it was, some people do not want to pass. And that is completely okay. Personally, I do not have access to hormones and will not for a long time. It does suck but I have to make do with what I have, and what I have is no ability to pass as cis. Even on hormones, some trans men can not pass. Being a trans man isn't being trans on easy mode. Trans oppression isn't a competition.

I'm not misgendering myself to "avoid accountability". Speaking out about the misogyny that I have faced and continue to face every day isn't misgendering myself because trans men do experience misogyny. Also, if I wanted to be a girl so bad—why would I go through the trouble of transitioning to be a guy? Why would I pretend to be a trans man, fake dysphoria, and go through all that, if my deep desire was to be a girl? Being a girl would mean I am cis and being cis is quite literally living life in terms of gender on easy mode.

I'm sorry that I'm not all there today, I'm having some issues in real life (yeah, I have a real life outside of Tumblr, who knew) and I'm not able to articulate what I want to say very well. You should try not being able to eat much for two weeks then try to be all 100% there and win an argument against people on the internet. What I do not understand is why you are attempting to take everything I say in bad faith.

Your ask is full of transphobia and transmasc erasure as well as repeating the most tired, debunked transandrophobia denier arguments. You're going up to a random transmasc on the internet who is speaking out about the misogyny he faces and telling him that he cannot possibly know what oppression he is experiencing. That's kind of transphobic if you ask me.

This ask just shows your crowd's true colors. You aren't interested in feminism, you're interested in erasing transmascs because you do not want to revise the way you think about feminism.

#ask and ye shall receive #anon hate #transandrophobia #long post

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lilyliveredlittlerichboy · 2 years

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"men are, in fact, oppressed" is so controversial that you can't even say it in spaces where we often talk about transandrophobia. u literally can't even breathe it without being accused of misogyny

but it's true!!

here's a fun thing i noticed.

"misogynoir" is such a good word. describing the unique oppression Black women face, which is sexism and racism and both and more than both, different from how other ppl experience either, but derived from both. and we have lots, and lots of words for the kind of oppression women and queer people face.

like transmisogyny. homophobia. biphobia. lesbophobia. aphobia. and more.

but there isn't many words for the kind of specific oppression that men face.

is there a word for the intersection of racism and antimasculism that Black men face? or is that just called racism, even though all people of colour (including non-black ones and women) can & do experience racism?

is there a word for the intersection of homophobia, misogyny and misandry that gay men face? or do we just call that homophobia, even though lesbians and queer people of all sorts of genders and orientations also experience homophobia?

we have a word for the unique oppression trans men face, the intersection of transphobia, misogyny and antimasculism. our word for that rn is transandrophobia. and boy have we received stupid amounts of backlash. literally just for having a word.

i think it is part of the unique oppression of men to be silenced at every turn whenever you want to talk about your issues and oppressions. not even being allowed WORDS. and being called misogynist for literally just wanting to talk about how men are oppressed too.

transmisogyny doesn't imply trans men never face oppression, or that trans men are the people enacting this oppression. it's a word for how society in general treats transfemmes, it says next to nothing about trans men at all, cus it's not about them.

likewise, transandrophobia doesn't imply trans women don't face oppression, or that trans women are enacting this oppression. oppression is more nuanced than that cmon. transandrophobia isn't a statement on the oppression of trans women (whichever end you imagine they're at). it's not about trans women at all, and it doesn't have to be. it's about trans men and mascs.

Think all this backlash means we gotta keep at it. give words and attention to the ways men are oppressed. stop saying "this doesn't mean i think men are oppressed uwu! they're not obviously!" as a disclaimer when you talk about transandrophobia. stop acting like trans men deserve to be protected but cis men are still totes ok to be the laughing stock of the whole community, cus hey, they're not oppressed so it's cool right?

stop it. stop it. stop it.

men are oppressed and our feminism will not move on from terfery (bio/gender essentialism) and infighting unless we acknowledge this and talk about it.

I'm so tired.

#transandrophobia discourse #transandrophobia #misandry #antimasculism #transmisogyny #misogynoir #misogyny #homophobia #biphobia #lesbophobia #aphobia #transphobia #queerphobia #anti transmasculinity #i need a tag for my own rambles

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tf2shipswag · 1 year

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ok so first and foremost i dont agree with ppl being mean and insulting you because thats not how you get people to listen to what you have to say so i am sorry about the prev ppl immediately going to attack you but im not going to sit here and minimize their anger because its not baseless and they are well within their right to feel that way. im coming here to try and at least offer my view as a lesbian, which i doubt will do anything but its worth a shot i guess.

i dont agree with the implication that 'bi/mspec lesbian' labels are not harmful when they are fundamentally lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic from the talking points ive seen, and hurt us. implying that lesbians can feel attraction to men is the same rhetoric homophobes push onto us in real life to try and imply our sexuality is a phase and can be cured. "you just need to give men a chance." yk things of that nature. im not going to dive deep into the biphohia of it because i do not live the experience of a bisexual and i dont want to talk over bisexuals but i think it speaks for itself when people are so adverse to the label. you must ask yourself why are you so afraid to identify as bisexual? lesbianism has always included nonbinary, trans, gnc, and intersex people. and if its 'too restrictive' then it does not apply to you. lesbians do not and will not ever be attracted to men, i know its hard to believe but yes! people who arent attracted to men exist! we exist! i feel people are so angry and emotionally charged is because we are tired. tired of facing lesbophobia from outside and within the community. sorry for the long ask i tried to keep it short and concise. all i can say is please listen to actual lesbians.

hi, thank you for not being an ass an providing an actual argument, i very much appreciate that /gen. there genuinely is a horrid amount of lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia within the community. i know that there are a lot of arguments that the mspec label contributes to such. i just cannot get over the fact we are having fights like this within a community that is actively being attacked so heavily as a whole, especially right now.

your argument's reminiscent of the idea that the pan label is biphobic. genuinely, some people just identify with one label more than another, and sometimes people feel best defined by a combination of labels. even if the difference between the definition of bi and pan is miniscule to you, it might be big enough of a difference to someone else for it to matter.

it's not about "fear" of identifying as a certain label, sometimes it just doesn't. feel. right. once again! i could identify with bi, pan, omni, whatever label! but it's just not me. this has been said before, but nothing about identity is simple. feeling like we need to separate each other all into our own little boxes is incredibly isolating. the point of having this community to begin with, is so we all know that we're not alone.

everyone's just trying to live their lives. you genuinely seem like you have good intentions and god, i KNOW that this argument's tiring, and i can't imagine what it's like to deal with all the other arguments targeted against lesbians in particular, and i won't act like i'll ever understand the struggle with lesbophobic arguments, since i'm not a lesbian.

but people outside of the community are taking advantage of this argument even existing in order to make life worse for us as a whole, regardless of whatever label you choose to use. whether you're bi, a lesbian, or a bi lesbian, doesn't matter to the people passing bills against our rights and healthcare and protection. any difference to them is equally wrong. i'd rather stand against that idea as a whole than go along with it to suit whatever i'm trying to convey.

i just don't want to cause people to struggle to be themselves and live their lives simultaneously. majority of us have that same goal. even if we don't agree with each other along the way, at the end of the day, we all just want to feel safe and happy.

#not a poll #discourse

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transzilla · 2 months

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tgirl user on this site like last december who calls herself a baeddal: i cant believe were getting villified for making jokes about force fem, let trans people live

the same tgirl seeing a few tboys experiment with a similar kink in the same way: uh dont you know the term autoandrophile was once used by PSYCHOLOGISTS to god forbid CALL WOMEN CRAZY? do you think women are CRAZY? also since we All Know being feminine can only ever be lesser and humiliating by liking forcemasc youre basically a woman hating sexist for not only viewing gender roles as black and white. Oh and since youre a trans man you clearly have not matured at all mentally or sexually beyond that one annoying 14 year old trans boy i still hold a gurdge over. Over theres butch lesbians in the forcemasc community? Well theyre okay because theyre women.

Alright well don't take what I said like that hahaha like idk who tf you're talking abt and I do see a lot of trans men bitching abt forcemasc. And cis women which is umm kind of special.

I understand what you're saying and inter community transphobia pisses me the fuck off but I mostly see the "men are evil and transitioning to male is evil" from cis women and these neofeminist environments mostly like i really dont think the heat youre experiencing is a tgirl invention. Like thats a cis pioneer lol

I do see a lot of trans women that are transphobic toward men and don't trust transmasc circles and like I understand some trans male circles have UNIQUE issues but like baeddel shit from tgirls... if I get tired of it I just turn my phone off LMAOO like this shit just does not fly or exist in real life

My whole thing is if you're gonna do the baeddel thing and hate men and say being a man is unethical whatever at least take care of your girls. Like I think I've experienced maybe one "baeddel" circle irl and it was in like a sheltered city bubble and it was just pretty normal transgender female drama like all these liberated queer people say they hate men and dickride them anyway. theyd just be dicks to trans men and dickride cis dudes. And they were even awful to other tgirls like you couldn't do anything and anger the fucking clique without somebody being like oh my god she was such a bitch like it really is ur own people LMAO but like I understand it just blew trying to hack it in those tboy and cis people spaces cus everyone was horrible to u for being transfem. Like they werent any less misogynistic. But then even in the transfem circle they also were not less misogynistic even if tgey talked all this shit abt men. transgender people are awful mostly because they're neurotic, it was rejection from other trans people that had these girls reacting with bullshit like that, I just don't want you responding to these wolf notes with more anger. Like let the fire die out. Please. Lol.

Dont read too much into internet drama especially, like this shit isnt real I think it gets so cutthroat cause a lot of people arent really trans or have trans communities outside of the internet unfortunately like the real world resources are not there and people are too eager to subsitute with tumblr. And I'm the same way like I'm a hick like my closest trans friend is a half hour away. Like just calm down cus if ur not calm ur not thinking.

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remix-of-your-guts · 1 year

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it's so weird when people think that i'm some sort of MRA or i think misogyny is just diet oppression or something when i talk about the experiences of trans men because it's literally the exact opposite. i understand why girls say things about hating all men and why people talk about how there's fundamentally a cultural difference between "men and women"... i just think it's often an oversimplification because i am a man but i have still had to deal with all the insufferable misogynistic bullshit of nearly every hegemonic cisgender man since i popped out of the womb!!!!!

i could of course go into detail about the brutal, often fatal, misogynistic and transphobic violence we experience. or i could talk about how every single day, i talk to cis men and am reminded just how fundamentally different we are. how they nearly always default to centering themselves, putting their own needs first, never even stopping to consider the perspectives or experiences of others. (this isn't a terfy "male socialization" argument btw, transfemmes absolutely DO NOT do this in my experience, even when they've barely transitioned)

i don't want to have to choose between misgendering myself and misrepresenting my experiences!!!!!

literally any characteristic of a society that victimizes women ALSO applies to trans men- usually moreso than cis girls actually!!!

✨💖✨ here's some fun statistics (with sources) ✨💖✨

we are payed 60 cents to the average worker's dollar, as opposed to cis women who make 82 cents to the average man's dollar (note that the two gender pay gap is reported as women vs men whereas the queer one is trans men vs. all workers, so the gap between us and cis women is actually larger than that)

trans men have the highest rate of violent victimization of any gender demographic (tho the study didn't include nonbinary people as far as i can tell) 107.5 per 1000 people, as opposed to 86.1 for trans women, 23.7 for cis women, and 19.8 for cis men. that means trans men are over four times as likely as cis women to be victims of violent crime.

trans men have the highest rates of suicide attempts in the trans community, and presumably the whole queer community. (45%)

we have the highest rates of negative experiences with our doctors (misgendering, denial of gender affirming care, etc) in the trans community (42%)

transmasculine people have the highest rates of sexual assault in the trans community (58% for nonbinary people and 51% for trans men)

i'm just SICK and TIRED of putting up with cis men's catcalling and insults and lack of respect every day and then being told that i'm a gender traitor by people who should be able to sympathize with my pain! like i appreciate that you think i'm a man, but that means nothing if you don't also unpack your own transandrophobia and acknowledge my experiences of oppression as an intersection of misogyny and transphobia, rather than acting like i've gained male privilege when now i'm just seen as a dyke instead of a nice straight girl.

and just to make one thing incredibly clear: i do not think we have it worse than transfemmes. i do not think they are the enemy or the source of our oppression in the slightest. i'm frustrated at the small few online who've internalized radfem ideas and take it out on us in the most vitriolic ways possible. i'm frustrated with the nearly equal number of trans men who are so eager to be accepted that they throw themselves and the rest of us under the bus. but off tumblr? in the real world? (and on here, with nearly all of you) trans women are my biggest allies, my sisters in arms, some of the kindest most empathetic and caring and badass people i know. cis girls as well for the most part, though a lot of y'all have some transphobia, including transmisogyny, to unpack. and of course, to the trans men reading this, in case no one's told you today: i love you i love you i love you.

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jbis · 1 year

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Character development: the post (added this title after I had my startling revelation)

So. As you guys know. On my blog, I am very...I don't know, open(?) about my sexuality (and sometimes my gender identity as well, I don't talk about my own gender thing that much due to the fact that, well, I guess there's a part of me that wants to be seen as a cisgender gay guy, when in reality, I'm a transsexual. But that's an issue for another day probably), and while, yes, I do make lots of jokes about my attraction to men, there's something else going on here. I am not always that open about my feelings with myself, is what I'm saying.

There's this really weird feeling I get sometimes. I feel almost...guilty? I am unsure of this exact emotion. But, for whatever reason, I feel this emotion when thinking about my own identity and how I want to (for lack of a better phrase) deal with it. I know that I like writing about our community, and I love doing so. For some silly reason I like writing about the transmasculine experience more than I like actually admitting to myself and other people that I am a trans male. It's most likely internalized transphobia. In fact, it is almost certainly this. But, what the hell. That's something to talk about in therapy.

My point is that there is something...holding me back. I want to connect with members of my own community (other gay men specifically), I want to connect with people in real, public spaces. I want to do something. And sure, my writing and research can help many people in the future, when I'm not an amateur (or maybe it will right now. What the hell). But, connecting with the people around me is also extremely important to me. But there's an aversion that I have to these ideas. I want to fade away, be unimportant, despite my lifelong dream of excelling in my scientific field and becoming well-known for my accomplishments. I don't want to talk to anyone in my community, despite the fact that we would most likely have several things in common due to my fear of rejection and the fact that (particularly with the gay dating scene) there seems to be an entirely new set of social rules, behaviors, and expectations that I don't know if I can learn. I don't know if I can perfect my performance of them. And hey, maybe one day my need for a boyfriend or just a one night thing or whatever will override any sort of reservations I might have. I could go to a bar, or something. Maybe I would put up with loud music and lights and several previously unrecognized entities, each with unexpected motion patterns.

Maybe social events aren't for me, unless I have my friends with me. But even then, my jokes will start to dwindle after a while. I will cease to speak at all. Dancing? How could I? It's too much. I'd fall asleep out of dislike. I can't even drink anything I haven't had before.

So, I don't think I can do loud social events. I am sad about this, because I will be missing out.

But, oh god. What if I have to? In order to live? I am going to be very sad. Maybe I can go once?

Whatever. What was I talking about again? Right.

I'm scared. I'm scared because there's new rules, and I never cared to learn the old ones.

Why am I making this post again? I literally had a solution before I even began to write this. Just don't go to bars, damn.

Where was I? What is this? Why are you still reading? What was I even trying to get at here? Maybe I'll just put up with social events like I always do and it'll literally be perfectly okay.

FUCK, WHAT WAS I SAYING?

OK OK OK. My point with all this crap is that I'm scared of enjoying things. When I see a guy I think is attractive, I feel weird about it because I don't like the fact that I am enjoying something. And wait a second. I'm thinking a bit more about that thing I said earlier. What was it. OH YES. RIGHT. Internalized transphobia. I don't have a problem with being a dude, I have a problem with being a dude with different organs from cisgender men, and that makes me feel weird. What am I saying. I'm really tired and I might be a bit sick. Ok, wait, I was getting somewhere with that whole "I'm afraid of being happy" kind of deal. I'm scared of my own sexual attraction to men because it's so hard to categorize as an emotion and it's so overwhelming and it tires me out and I like it too much. It feels so good and right and perfect, but I'm kind of sexually repressed and I have a hard time dealing with emotions.

What? Does that even make sense. I think I'm on my last legs here, it's getting really late.

Guhhhh, this was meant to be a serious post. After thirty minutes of writing this, however, my sleep deprivation is making me feel weird and sappy and emotional. NOT PROFESSIONAL. Is this what my problem is? OH FUCK THAT'S IT. FUCK THIS "I CAN'T HANDLE SOCIAL SITUATIONS I'M TOO SCARED AND THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD AND THERE'S TOO MANY HOT GUYS" BULLSHIT. CUT THE CAMERAS. THAT'S IT. I'M FUCKING SCARED OF BEING HAPPY.

Well fucking hell. Goddamn. I fixed a problem I had. And you were all there to witness it.

Well, off to live my life. For real this time.

#long post #ok well fuck this was not supposed to go on for very long. anyways.#posting this because it's kinda funny #personal post

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hardpacker · 2 years

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i didn't expect it and didn't go looking for it, but now that i've been on here more... somehow only on tumblr have i seen other trans guys discussing with one another the sort of thoughts that in other spaces i've felt very alone in sharing or having in my head at all.

it's heartening to know that these topics and experiences aren't just like... imaginary, and are actually as widespread as i believed, and may even have names-- ones we decide, the way any community invents names and language. over the years i became self-conscious and tired from going back and forth between trying to scream these thoughts in the open and trying to clamp down on them when it seemed socially unacceptable... or just socially unappreciated.

that, and the pushback, makes me think about the way tumblr has been and is still referred to as being a haven for (specifically) obsessive/sensitive/hysterical "teen girls" and "[autistic] people."

but who are those people? yes there are teen girls and autistic people here. but the above is the same language terfs use to talk about trans boys and men. and not only terfs, but also run of the mill transphobes, and anyone whose transphobia fixates on trans men over others. it's a weird semi-covert misgendering and de-gendering, and if the age doesn't nullify it, the neurodivergence does. it's intended to delegitimise at the individual level and any community-driven effort. even progressive-minded people keep these in their back pocket, because at least they can/could agree those people aren't important. that's what "sjw" helped do, for a while. and if it's not an ongoing reaction, it spanned the better part of a decade.

the perception of tumblr as a weird Gender-y Wellspring lead to terfs prioritising it as a place of focus, to raid... they still do, and have had years to learn and spread the right language. many of those people might even be gone now, but the effect is apparent when you do see some rancid 16yo parroting cruel fictions that have no previous incarnation. and at least no previous incarnation among any other group.

i remember my split-second cognitive dissonance in 2010-2011 during one of the earliest infiltrations, where they were attempting conversion therapy by seeking out young trans kids and even doxxing and contacting their families. and it was done with the same imploring voice of correctly capitalised and punctuated concern you might very well see now. i don't think i had the full scope of what was going on, in part from being so excessively suppressed by my family at that time... but that treatment did at least prepare me in identifying something Feeling Wrong, and actively rejecting and working against these invasive practises.

in the way i internalised it when i didn't see others understanding or engaging with the same ideas i tried to share, i do keep getting in my head about them now, basically on those terms: well but if it's happening here, is it really happening? how can you trust this? what if YOU'RE being FOOLED? WHAT IF IT'S PROOF YOU'VE BEEN DELUSIONAL THIS WHOLE TIME?!

which is awful. i know it's gotta be some kind of reactionary safety mechanism especially when the topic of cultural/societal treatment of trans guys, broadly, is so fraught. for big chunks of my life i tried to shut off feeling any way about it, about transness, about transness as a community, about the way i was/am treated. developing a kind of baseline for ourselves in the community, with the potential benefit of educating would-be allies, hasn't gone especially well. even our ilk react with contempt or disdain, scoffing like oh, here we go. you must be new.

i say "ourselves" like i'm involved, but i'm really not. i've basically tied my livelihood to how deferential i can be. can't have too controversial an opinion even or especially when it's about myself.

it's just so raw. i never expect gentleness or curiosity. "Messy language" doesn't get a pass here the way it might when discussing queer labels. Pain can't be messy, it must be precise. It must be relatable.

•••

even recently i tried to carve something out and find language. i'm thinking back to May(?) when i wrote some thoughts for a cis peer in what became a kind of short essay, following a difficult and public interaction.

i'm thinking about it because my peer did bring up tumblr as a place where terfs did/do groom trans boys... but this was brought up to defend women who draw BL (featuring conventionally attractive cis men) because this peer claimed that "100%" of their detractors were trans men, that "cis gays never complain about this" and "AFAB people should understand this." and that trans men who pushed back on this were groomed by terfs to do so. and yet trans men were not victims in this narrative, but aggressors.

because i believe they were being truthful, or at the very least had been given reason to believe this, i was surprised and dismayed to hear. it makes my heart ache in a weird, anxious, hollow way (like a bell, not like a void) whenever there's bad behaviour going on from a place so close to home.

i was also perplexed that in a thread about loving and creating sexy transgressive artwork and in defense of focusing on cis men loving or fucking each other, that this was the only time trans men were named explicitly.

i'm not gonna lie, the entire thing put me in a very bad place for a few days. on twitter i have many of these terms muted so that i won't see it. but they asked me questions, so i answered. i wanted to express that,

i believed what they said, that they had been treated badly, and that nothing i wrote was intended to ignore that

acknowledging that some young trans men have been manipulated and abused by terfs isn't a "gotcha." it's a pervasive tragedy

it's very possible for them to disagree with the work or the argument without ever being groomed by terfs

"liking BL" isn't a coherent political category, class, demographic

trans men also like BL and have been creating it alongside cis women and genderqueer people for literally ever

trans men may, for many multitudes of reasons, have different concerns than cis men

[detangling misogyny directed at cis women and misogyny directed at trans men, which is... real?]

cis men are not the ultimate arbiters of gayness

cis gay men do discuss these things but maybe not in the same niche twitter-centric circles

trans men are not simply or simply trying to be a pastiche or homage to cis men

a cis woman expecting to relate to trans men on the basis of gender assignment at birth isn't only odd, it's also misgendering, and positions cis woman/girlhood as the True origin point

i want to think it was useful. i worry it seemed like an imposition, that i was demanding more time or more energy on something that was my problem-- my problem for seeing a problem. when i was done writing and sent it off to them, i apologised for the length and let them know i neither expected them to read it anytime soon nor expected a response in the event that they did. but, they still asked me what i "wanted" from them.

when i correct someone about my name or how to refer to me, i don't expect that the world changes for them and that they see me how i see myself, or that they keep referring to me correctly when i'm not around. if i divulge being autistic, i've very rapidly learned to expect worse. it is met with awkwardness if not cold rejection. for my entire life online i've remembered how harrowing it was to pair my face with my art, and got "that's not what i thought you looked like. I was expecting someone thinner."

there's no proof of better behaviour-- better Thinking-- that i wanted in this case. or that i'd even know how to ask for/look for. i won'g see it, good or bad. it isn't about doing something for me. it should hopefully go far beyond me.

but like i said: it put me in a bad, weird, out of body state for a few days. being confronted with pain in a public setting and then being responsible for first analysing, researching, and translating pain-- my own and historical, community pain-- with no precedent or expectation for kindness, took a big toll on me. i was emotional and not, keyed up and fatigued. of course i would and have tried to tamp down those feelings when they arise. it is much harder to look at it and try to bring someone else in to look at it with you. suddenly, the things people say aren't real become vividly, graphically real again.

•••

anyway. i'd like to get over the shock and dejection and emotional distance i put between myself/my life and the surfacing of these difficult inter-community discussions. i never wanted to be distant from them, but distance is a common byproduct of transition, an extension of the enforced invisibility.

because i think a common misconception is that invisibility is passive, or even self-constructed. but "invisibility" is an action-- it's the way others treat you. it's how you're remembered, referred to, written about, it's a controlled lack of support and lack of language, it's having your life defined by external forces and not by you or your own. it is an oppressive and intentional reaction.

for me i think it's just the immediate surprise. these Are conversations that benefit from coherent, linear, longform exploration-- just as i've thought for years. but for as long, i also felt that time had passed. like, time is a resource and if we all collectively are deprived of it, maybe that means the Concept being discussed no longer has a place in this world and so no longer exists. or that i had just missed it. i had missed my opportunity to find people beyond those whose apathy made me completely unrecognised and unreal, and that it was deserved, and i was only lucky to receive what grace i could. sincerely and lovingly: that's psycho shit. i shouldn't be so stunned to see, like, a conversation. A cheeky paragraph.

#writing #trans #transsexual #trans man #trans men #tw abuse #tw ableism #tw misgendering #transgender

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positivityforlesbians · 2 years

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Sapphic underground made a YouTube post about the pressure put on lesbians to be "inclusive" of males and opposite sex attracted people and the toll it's been taking in our community, and to my great surprise, the majority of the comments on that post are supportive! There's even bi and straight women and gay men showing some love. It's just so nice to see actual lesbian expressing their mind and not getting immediately silenced 🥰

Wow, so I've looked it up and I think you refer to this comment, there is indeed a lot of likes under it !

I am a total fan of Sapphic Underground's channel, I posted one of her videos not as far as a few days ago but I cannot say I thought she would ever address this huge problem targetting our community. This goes to to show we are not making this up, being lesbians that would somehow invent a problem that so many people pretend is not there. I don't think she's super known on the internet, especially by those 2.0 lesbophobes who, let's be honest, generally really don't care about actual lesbian content despite trying their best to be like us, but they still can try to bully her out of her platform the second they all collectively find her to be a bad woman. It wouldn't be the first time. So because of that I think it's important to support her, that comment is brave. I'm glad she got so many likes there, I'm sure it was a positive sign for her to see we are a lot to think just like this and that she did well in speaking up. 👏

We cannot let non-lesbians dicktate to us what our words mean, what makes a lesbian a lesbian, how bigoted we are for not liking penises, how we are doing the worst of the worst for having this sexual orientation (being a lesbian, also known as being a homosexual girl/woman), how we should have our dating apps and in real life lesbian only spaces open to trans women (therefore males, a sex we will never be into) and thus ruining said spaces because even the kindest most gullible lesbians will get tired at some point and leave, seeing the most basic men use that as an excuse to also come in and make these spaces even more unsafe/ simply not lesbian spaces anymore, all of this is something we cannot ignore and so it makes sense she is talking about it. Being a lesbian Youtuber and video artist who focuses on making fun upbeat or poetic lesbian content doesn't make her blind to the modern western lesbian experience, this is pretty good to know ! So thank you for that message anon, more of the followers of this blog may open their eyes to this reality, since it's silenced, made invisible and gaslighted so often.

Why isn't lesbophobia taken any seriously while transphobia is nearly always considered with upper seriousness in lgbt spaces at large ? is the question we should all ask ourselves. It's not treason to think about it, to ask questions, to choose to prioritise our community, lesbians, after realising how much we've been made to suffocate and feel like second class citizens among people supposed to support and uplift us, not the other way round. More and more lesbians will speak out, because the anger keeps growing and nobody can successfully silence us, even if it cost us a platform, popularity, money, anything, we also have things to gain when finally speaking out. Defending lesbians, our reality, our history, our community, will always be a priority. ✨

#anonymous #my answers #lesbian safe #lesbians #lesbian community #lesbophobia #healing

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posi-pan · 3 years

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hey, I just watched Kat Blaque's, a famous youtuber, video on her experiences dating bi and pan men. I must admit I was a bit skeptical about the video because I'm tired of pan people only being brought into conversations when those conversations include bi people but I do think the video was done in good faith and was important to Kat and other viewers. I suggest it because you're highly involved in pan content and would maybe like some more (not to assume anything).

If you have any opinions about the video (or the comments), I would be happy to hear. Warning though, a few comments are on the panphobic side of things with the connotations of 'pan and bi are the same' and Kat is a straight woman so some things she says are a bit iffy. But it's not all bad as Tee Noir, another famous youtuber, casually announced she's pansexual in the comments and I find that they are pan people in their 40s and 50s (Kat's partners) comforting.

it’s an interesting video. it sort of speaks to the stories i’ve heard about pan gaining ground in response to transphobia, as a way to be clear from the jump that it means all, ya know? and that’s not saying other sexualities or people weren’t “inclusive”, just that trans people often had the experience of not knowing who would be open to being with them, so it was one of the ways people tried to alleviate that anxiety. (which she also mentioned on twitter, that anxiety about being rejected for being trans decreases when she finds out someone is pan). and considering the accounts of trans and nonbinary people being largely behind that, it makes sense.

and the reminder of much older pan folks is always nice. and i was surprised that the comments are not all bad? most comments i scrolled through were just continuing the conversation she started, without any hate or debates. that said, there were some comments i saw (and probably more based on her pinned comment in response to criticism) that were......what i expected.

she said over and over that she isn’t making generalizations about bi and pan people, that she’s speaking solely on her dating experiences, yet some people are still in the comments giving their label arguments and takes on “discourse” and acting like she said bisexuality and bi people are transphobic when that wasn’t even the point of the video. like, a trans person can’t open an honest, nuanced dialogue about their experiences with bi and pan people without little shits getting defensive and turning it into a label war?

there are other people in the comments who had similar or the same experiences, and others who had the exact opposite experience, and it’s like....why can’t that just be it? why can’t someone say “this is my experience, what’s yours?” and people be like “omg same!” and “the complete opposite, how weird!” and accept that no community is a monolith and we all have our own experiences that we’re allowed to talk about and just keep it moving? why can’t we have nuanced conversations without jumping down each other throats over because “not all” when no one was saying “all” and they were in fact saying “this is only my experience” over and over?

if someone isn’t using their personal experience to generalize an entire group of people or their identity as bad, harmful, bigoted, etc. then what the fuck is the problem? stop throwing discourse at people talking only about their personal experiences. (i shouldn’t be surprised because whenever i mention trans and nonbinary people who have experienced transphobia in bi spaces i get called a biphobe. interesting how i’ve never been called a panphobe for mentioning transphobia in pan spaces. hm wonder why.)

anyways, that got a bit rambly lmao sorry

OH, can we talk about tee noir’s video about the culture of coming out??? because it’s 💯💯💯 (i think there was only like, one statement i didn’t like)

#asks #theoldguardreject #pansexual #trans antagonism #kat blaque #tee noir #long post

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