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ohnoproblems · 1 year

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watched a broadcast of a police "chase" today where the dude drove the speed limit and obeyed all traffic directives except for yielding to cops. they tried to pit maneuver him twice and he just took himself over the median and turned around to follow traffic the other way. the cops ended up spike stripping one of their own SUVs while trying to stop him. when he finally stopped he just sat in his truck, unarmed, with a big tank of nitrous doing whippets for several hours while the cops desperately wracked their pig brains for a tactic that could stop a dude from chilling in his truck.

this was a situation that could have been resolved with a taxi and a tow truck and like, a court summons after running the plates. cops aren't here to solve situations, they're here to justify their obscene budgets and military equipment by making every situation an excuse to wage chemical warfare on anyone who doesn't allow them to define the situation.

they shot pepper bullets into his cab. he sat in his truck. a gaggle of them crept up to the passenger side and tossed in a tear gas canister. he tossed it back out the driver side and kept sitting in his truck. the cop negotiator brought water for the guy but then rather than actually give it to him to demonstrate even an ounce of good faith he threw it on the ground like 10 feet away from the truck as the most obvious bait. they brought in SWAT! fucking SWAT and their shitty SWAT monster truck, for an unarmed dude sitting in his truck. it was only misdemeanors until the cops showed up and made everything about them which made the dude's every attempt to leave into a felony because it's happening around a cop.

and all the while the news anchor is like OH YOU DON'T WANT THESE PEACE OFFICERS EXPOSED TO FURTHER RISKS, YOU DON'T WANT THEM CAUGHT IN CROSSFIRE (from who?? other pigs?? they're the only ones with guns!). HEY COP CORRESPONDENT, WHAT IF YOU USED A FLASHBANG ON THE GUY. god, when even the cop correspondent is like "uhh we're not doing that" you know you've said something sick. i cannot emphasize enough how much of it was just the dude sitting in his truck. the pigs solved this real brainscratcher of a conundrum with more tear gas because that's the only verb they know.

abolish the police!

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seat-safety-switch · 1 month

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"I hear there's a whole crew of eager young faces out there just ready to ride the rapids!" hollers our rafting guide, a man who I would later discover from the TV news was actually named Ralph. This man continued to give us a short-form version of his life story, before instructing us on the proper way to wear a life vest (or "personal flotation device," if you're German.) The tourists around me oohed and aahed and snapped pictures, enough to be already halfway through what, in a simpler time, would have been a roll of Kodak film.

Why was I engaging in this pursuit, one which was not just dangerous but without the involvement of any motorized transportation whatsoever? Simple. I had gotten a free ticket from a coworker who "couldn't make it," and I had heard that there were some old hoopties crashed in the forests around the white-water rapids.

See, way back in the era when old cars were new cars, there was no good way to recycle them. Tow truck technology was in its infancy. Junkyards were just called "yards." And China hadn't been invented yet. Or it had, but they were probably also busy building their own new cars and didn't want to take some idiot's old Ford Business Coupe off his hands. So folks just left that shit on the side of roads, in forests, or pushed them off a cliff and watched what happened before driving off in their new car. Tragic, I know, but it means that lots of perfectly good running gear is all over this part of the country.

Ralph led us out on the water. He was pretty good, except for the part where he kept yelling at me to perform manual labour for which I was receiving no compensation. After a couple hours into the trip, I had seen no cars whatsoever and was beginning to lose hope entirely. I was damned to be stuck on this orange pool toy as we shot down the water in order to be rewarded with yet more water. Thrilling though it may be to some people, I was perfectly familiar with going dangerously fast and getting uncomfortably wet from any daily commute in my harem of rusty cars.

That's when I saw it. Anyone else would have easily missed a glimpse of the fender of a 1929 Chevy International roadster. I pulled my backpack off, discarding my oar to do so, and retrieved my homemade grappling hook from within. With a quick burst of compressed air and a not-so-quick burst of nitromethane-fuelled Sanden air-conditioning compressor exhaust, I was flown from the piteous grasp of Mother Kinda-Wet to the warm embrace of Mother Earth. And boy, did she ever have that fender. Not much else, of course, but if you squinted, you could kinda see part of the headlight was now being adopted by the accumulated moss.

After guessing the vague location of it, I dug in and left with my quarry: one extremely rusty, pig-iron "Oakland" vee-eight engine. It was really light, because almost none of it was left, which is good because I had a long way to walk home. A chipmunk kept me company along the way, probably because he used to live in #3 before I picked up his whole sub-development.

As for the other occupants of the river rafting tour, I'm told that at least half of them, perhaps deluded by hours of direct sunlight and lack of access to proper nutrition, believed my sudden escape was actually proof of my having been abducted by angels. I rolled that into a few other paying gigs upon my return to civilization, but it didn't really do much for the fleet. Tax-exempt crooked megachurches have very strict rules about only buying new cars.

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hogwartslegacyreactions2 · 20 days

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HLC REACT GREMLIN MC

MC had way too much caffeine or thunderbrew or both. They were literally climbing the walls, foaming at the mouth and even bit at a fellow student. Their friend group were running after them like the goddamn Scooby-Doo gang to try and catch MC before they do any more damage.

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: He doesn't want to use any of his destructive spells on MC, so he tries the leg lock curse. Problem is, MC is moving around too much and he can't get a clean shot off. He ends up hitting Amit by mistake.

OMINIS GAUNT: "What in Merlin's name was in that potion!?" He shouts at Garreth. He remembered MC telling him about one of Garreth's pet projects being a "double", supposedly being more effective. It seems to be TOO effective. He tries to stupify MC, but only hits air, them being fast enough to barely stay out of his wands 'vision' range.

ANNE SALLOW: "A potion did this!?" She shouts back as she dodges one of Ominis' ill aimed stupify. "Garreth, what did you do!?" She tries casting Glacius to slip up MC but they avoid it by crawling in the ceiling.

IMELDA REYES: "Oh for crying out loud!" Spells clearly weren't working and she mounted her broom. She planned to full on chaser-tackle MC. Just as she lunges, a flash of red pops up in front of her and she tumbles to the ground hard.

NATSAI ONAI: She rolls across the stone floor with Imelda. She had tried to do the same thing as Imelda, but because they didn't coordinate, they ran into each other. The wind was knocked out of her but she was otherwise okay.

GARRETH WEASLEY: "Stop shouting at me! It should wear off! Eventually..." In truth, he didn't know how long this was supposed to last. He's never tried a batch of this high concentration. Maybe he should rethink using MC as his guinea pig.

LEANDER PREWETT: He has an idea. "Amit! Catch!" He tosses an end of a rope to Amit with the intent on them both snagging MC on the next turn. However, when Amit gets hit by Sebastian's leg lock curse, he falls face first to the floor. The rope tangles with his long legs and then he takes a dive on top of Amit.

AMIT THAKKAR: He catches the rope from Leander, only to then get leg locked and Leander landing lankily on top of him. He misses the days when the weirdest things to happen to him were when his bookmarks would go missing.

EVERETT CLOPTON: He dodges his fallen friends and keeps up with Poppy, Sebastian and Ominis. He has a plan. Poppy has a trapper's snare. He can throw it, Sebastian can trigger it with a basic cast, and then they all can hold onto the snare to stop MC's rampage.

Just as he's about to throw the snare, MC does an U-turn and charges the four of them. This catches him by surprise and he tosses the snare sideways. It snags Ominis', who falls on Sebastian, who grabs Everett's cloak in an attempt to stay upright. They all fall down.

POPPY SWEETING: Just her now. Her years of wrangling beasts should make this a piece of cake. Thing is, she's never dealt with a beast like MC on a caffeine high. She picks up the snare and manages to get a snare around MC's foot only to be dragged. She's too stubborn to let go first.

MC: Continues to daffy-duck-it into the distance with Poppy in tow.

Meanwhile...

DUNCAN HOBHOUSE: In the hospital wing with human-like bite marks

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy reactions #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #imelda reyes #natsai onai #garreth weasley #leander prewett #amit thakkar #everett clopton #poppy sweeting #Spotify

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lyricailove · 2 months

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Full Mag Part 1

It's been sitting in my brain screaming for over a month. Clawing at the walls, trying to get out. So here's the first part of my Gallavich uncles fic.

Ian loves having an apartment all to himself with Mickey. It means privacy, domesticity, a space just for them in the early years of their marriage. Inevitably they'll find a bigger place. Maybe move back to the southside where Mickey is more comfortable. Ian could live with that, as long as he has Mickey he's okay with most things.

"Iggy, what the fuck?!"

Ian rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. They keep getting noise complaints from their neighbors and while most of it is sex-related, a good portion is due to Mickey's poor volume control.

Ian sighs at the sound of Mickey screaming at his older brother on the phone and can only imagine the trouble Iggy could be in. Iggy calls every once in a while to bust his baby brother's balls or ask for money. Sometimes Mickey agrees, other times he curses Iggy out and hangs up on him. Right now it seems to be the latter.

Not even 20 seconds later, Mickey is rushing past Ian to grab his jacket off the hook.

"Where are you going?" Ian stands, wondering what Iggy could've said that has Mickey rushing to get out of the apartment.

"Where do you think? Asshole got himself arrested and now we need to go down to the station." Mickey grabs Ian's leather jacket off the hook and tosses it to him, stomping his feet into his Timberlands after doing so.

Iggy may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he knows when to look apologetic. Especially when he's sitting in an interrogation room and he can see Mickey walk into the precinct, his husband in tow. It doesn't take long for Mickey to snap his attention through the window and give one lethal glare that makes Iggy immediately look away.

Ian stands behind Mickey with his hands in his jacket pockets and stares at the ground, waiting for Mickey to ask to see his brother. He's not shaken by the turn of events, after all between him, Lip, and especially Carl he'd already had his share of precinct visits. No biggie.

Iggy lifts his head as his younger brother and brother-in-law walk into the interrogation room. He gives the same goofy smile that Mickey has seen since they were kids and that never fails to irritate him to high heavens. Mainly because it's always followed by the dumbest thing that's ever been said and/or done.

"What the hell did you do, dumbass?" Mickey drops down into the chair across the table and leans into Ian's hand that rests on his shoulder.

"It wasn't my fault! You know how these pigs are. See a Milkovich and immediately jump to the worst-case scenario. All I know is, I was grabbing a beer from the convenience store, was gonna pay and everything, and next thing I know I'm face down and my hands are cuffed." Iggy huffs with irritation, chewing the corner of his bottom lip.

Mickey rubs his eyebrow, already feeling the beginnings of a migraine coming on. "So what? You need money?"

"No something else, something bigger. It's also why I asked you to bring Gallagher. Cause I know he'll say yes."

Ian's head whips up from where he'd been staring at the floor. "How do you know? I could easily say no to whatever you want."

Iggy laughs, cutting his eyes to Mickey. "I need you to watch my daughter."

#Mine #Shameless #Shameless US #Shameless Us #Gallavich #Ian Gallagher #Mickey Milkovich #Iggy Milkovich #Shameless fic #Full Mag

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months

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The initial misunderstanding that Wukong has an issue with human/demon relationships is quickly passed because while they aren't common, Tang and Pigsy are hardly the only interracial couple in the city. It's when they notice Wu only seems to be grossed out by specifically Tang and Pigsy being affectionate that the teasing begins since, at that point, it was clear that these tow somehow adopted this presumed 18-20 year old monkey demon as their sorta kid. Then they learned that Wu was Sun Wukong and Tang was Tripitaka and the Context. Needless to say, the teasing gets worse

referencing this post.

yeaah, Tang and Pigsy quickly notice that "Wu" cares zero amount about any other human/demon couple they come across. So weird.

Then the Reveal happens and Tang's like; "oh yeah that makes sense. I'm his reincarnated father figure. A kid seeing their parent kiss a pig, no matter how handsome the pig is, is gonna be super grossed out."

and Pigsy's just like; "Imma just kiss you more so I can scare him out the shop whenever I want."

Wukong is suffering, and Mac's just laughing.

Wukong: "It's not funny! Imagine if you saw Zhu Bajie kissing Chang'e!" Macaque: *snaps the chopsticks he was holding in silent rage * Wukong: "Exactly."

Doesn't help that if Ao Lie or Sha Wujing ever came back, they'd be delighted!! Those two were huge saps.

#the monkey king and the infant #the monkey king and the infant au #freenoodles #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #sun wukong #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk aus

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sandwichsakurauchi · 2 months

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@patchouliandothers

"Hmmm-hm-hm-hm-hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hmhm...~"

Mari slowly sauntered her way down the halls of her family's hotel with one plodding step after another, a serving trolley in-tow stacked with large kitchen-grade pots of... liquids. Liquids and strange, solid ingredients floating within them. As her fleshy form wobbled about, she kept an eye on the room numbers before reaching one of the couple that had their door frames physically damaged from something... or someone.

"Heeere we are~" She mused as she gave a light knock on the door. "Oh, Mahorin~ I'm here with more special Awashima service juuust for you~"

As Aqours continued to bloat and swell, it became obvious that Mari's funding helped grow their waistlines. And her hotel off the coast of Numazu was the prime location for the members to go relax, pig out and be catered to whenever the need or desire allowed. As such, more idols looking to cut loose started finding their way out to the coast. With one such DJ having caught Mari's eye due to just how out of shape she was on-arrival...

Mari opened the door with a sly smile. "Unless you're still full from a few hours ago~?"

#muse: mari (idol)#patchouliandothers

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skruttet · 1 month

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Hodgkins

The body is presumably sculpted from styrofoam, the legs, hands and facial skin are made from leather and glued on top of the body material. The nose is separately cut from different-toned leather. The mouth and eyebrows have been painted and pig bristles have been attached as a moustache. Ears for Hodgkins have been cut from a soft, light piece of fur. The jacket is made of beige corduroy, a decorative leather belt and buttons are glued to the back. Under the jacket is a red and white checked shirt and the pants are beige suede. Hodgkins has a handkerchief made of the same fabric as his shirt in his pocket and a pipe in the other pocket.

The Joxter

The Joxter's body, legs, hands and face are made the same as Hodgkins'. Under the eyes the cheeks are painted in pink. The hair is made of blonde flax tow. On his head, Joxter has a tall and wide-brimmed hat made of leather. A linen cord is tied around the top of the hat. The jacket is made of beige fabric and its buttons are made of small pieces of leather. A pipe wrapped in dark brown felt sticks out of his pocket. Under the coat is a colourful shirt or scarf tied behind the neck. The trousers are light brown, worn corduroy. For the Joxter's other hand, a rope has been made from brown string, which he has attached to a branch of the tree trunk while balancing on it.

Moominpappa

Moominpappa must also have been carved from styrofoam or balsa/jelutong wood, and Polyfilla has been brushed on it, which is then painted. The eyes are also made in the same way as the other figures by gluing a piece of white leather and painting the colour of the eye on it. The tail is made by gluing a white, oblong piece of leather into a "sleeve" and the tail tassel of the linen cord comes out of its tip. The leather part of the tail is still painted in the same colour as the body.

The Muddler

The Muddler's body, arms, legs and face are made the same as Hodgkins and the Joxter. Under the eyes, there is a splash of orange-red colour. The hair is made of flax tow like the Joxter and the top is made of fur like Hodgkins. The Muddler's ears are mottled fur with dark brown spots on a light brown base. On his head, the Muddler has a saucepan made of almost black velvet fabric (you can see the fabric from the bottom of the saucepan, which is facing up), on top of which a piece of silver duct tape is attached. The handle of the pot is also formed from the tape. The jacket is tailcoat-like and made of black felt fabric, and its buttons on the front and back are made of pieces of leather. The Muddler has a white undershirt and a scarf around his neck. The pants are beige fabric and multi-coloured leg warmers are wrapped around the legs.

The Nibling

The body of the Nibling is probably also made of either styrofoam or soft types of wood, but on top of it there is the Nibling's skin glued from grey suede, from which the tail is also made. The nose of the Nibling is made of shiny black leather and its large whiskers are made by sticking pig bristles through the leather.

-Conservation and research of three-dimensional Moomin tableau made by Tuulikki Pietilä by Riina Uosukainen

#weirdest dating profiles ever #tableaux #used google translate so accuracy might not be great

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hazza-bear-care · 10 months

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Try Again

After his return to Alexandria with Daryl in tow, Negan learns a dirty little secret.

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of abuse and neglect, typical Walking Dead details.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Little pig, little pig! Let me in!" Negan called over the fence, Lucielle slung over his shoulder.

The sound of creaking metal echoed around the citizens of Alexandria as the gate opened, a convoy of trucks rolling into the center of town. Saviors hopped out of the trucks, scattering themselves to give their leader the backup he required. Negan sauntered to the front of his group, a smirk gracing his lips as he took in the sight of Rick and his people cowering at them.

"Hey, Rick. How ya doin'?" Negan asked, once again perching his bat over his shoulder. Rick nodded. Another smile grew across Negan's face as he turned his head to whistle, Dwight appearing with Daryl in tow.

From where you stood behind Rick, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of Daryl: He was wearing dirty sweats, the letter 'A' spraypainted in orange across his chest. His already grimy appearance had worsened by 10, with his greasy hair matted to his forehead, a dried river of blood flowing from his nose to his lips. He was squinting in the sunlight as the baggy shirt hung from his slim frame, a black bruise circling his left eye.

Your feet moved on their own, stepping beside Rick. He held his arm out in front of you in order to stop you from moving any closer to where Negan separated you from your boyfriend. Rick and Negan exchanged words while your own thoughts were swimming around you in a hurricane of emotions. You didn't realize what was happening until you were suddenly in Daryl's arms, wrapping him in a hug he so desperately needed. You ignored the stench that was rolling off of him and the filthy clothes he was wearing, asking him if he was okay in hurried whispers.

"NO! DARYL!" You screamed as someone pulled you away from him by your hair, throwing you on the pavement and back at Rick's feet. When you were finally released, you turned onto your hands and knees only to be met with a barbed wire covered bat. You were positive you could still see chunks of Glenn and Abraham's flesh stuck under some of the wire as you followed the bat's length up to Negan's face.

"Well! Lookie here boys! Daryl's got himself a fine piece of ass!" Negan called over his shoulder, sending a swift kick to your stomach. You groaned in pain and rolled back onto your side, missing when the bat turned its focus to Rick who was going to help you up. Another kick met your ribs as you shamefully tried to crawl away. Negan knelt down to make eye contact, wrenching you up to his face by your hair once again.

"Negan..." Rick started, stepping closer to you and Negan in an attempt to defuse the situation.

"Don't get any closer, Rick. We're about to have a conversation." Negan replied, glaring at you with a sickening smile. You gulped heavily as you stared at the face of the man who killed your friends, kidnapped the man you loved, and was close to beating you within an inch of your life.

"I don't take pleasure in beating pretty women like you, sweetheart, but if you ever try that shit again, you and Lucielle are gonna have a girl's day. Do you understand me?" Negan hissed, pressing his lips to your ear to accentuate every word he spoke.

"Yes." You answered softly, silently willing yourself not to cry in front of the terrifying man above you.

"Good. Now get up." Negan said, dragging you up by your hair and throwing you at Rick, who caught you quickly.

"Hold this," Negan said, thrusting Lucielle into your hands as he sauntered further into town.

"Are you okay?" Rick whispered, wrapping you in a quick yet comforting hug. You nodded, looking down at the heavy bat that sat in your grip. The red tinge to the barbed wire and the wood underneath made your stomach churn, the meager breakfast you had eaten threatening to make an appearance as you felt bile rise in your throat.

"Well? You going to show me around or what?" Negan called, watching as you and Rick turned to walk towards him, the bat in your hand shaking. You stood in between Rick and Daryl as the three of you followed Negan as he ventured further into Alexandria, taking stock of everything his people were dragging out of the homes you and countless others had tried so hard to make comfortable and welcoming. A man approached Negan, a video camera in hand. Negan pressed play and a disheveled Rick was staring back at him. Negan turned to taunt Rick about his looks before running a hand down his own stubble and muttering something about shaving.

"What do you think, sweet cheeks? Think I should shave this piss poor excuse of a beard?' Negan asked, sending a smirk your way before his attention turned back to Daryl. You hesitantly also looked at Daryl, and if looks could kill, Negan would be dead already and their problem would be solved.

"I don't care what you do." You quietly murmured, looking back at Negan with a glare. Negan smiled and winked, turning his attention back to Rick until Gabriel popped up. While Gabriel and Negan spoke, you shot another glance back at Daryl, who had his own gaze fixed on you as well. Your chin wobbled as you stared at your boyfriend, half of your heart placed on Earth.

"I'm sorry." Daryl mouthed at you. You nodded your acceptance, attention returning to Negan as he asked Rick where the guns were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Olivia whimpered as Arat dragged her up in front of Negan, tears streaming down her face in fear.

"We checked inventory, two guns are missing: Glock 9 and a .22 bobcat." Arat said, shoving the composition book under Negan's nose so he could check for himself.

"You're two handguns short, Rick. Find them. Or else, Olivia's brain will paint the town red." Rick scurried away leaving you with Negan.

You opted to stand beside Olivia, rubbing a comforting hand over her arm as she continued to bawl next to you. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at her blubbering, not seeming to care that you were in the same boat just a few minutes earlier. You could feel eyes on you, looking up and meeting Negan's eye. He smirked once again.

"You look hot holding Lucielle. I never caught your name though, Princess. Wanna fill me in?" Negan asked, running a gloved finger down your cheek. You resisted the urge to pull away from his touch and bit your lip.

"Y/N." You choked out, your voice sounding foreign to your ears.

"Y/N... A beautiful name for an equally beautiful girl. Now, tell me Y/N, how did you end up with that sack of shit over there?" Negan asked, pulling you under his arm and turning you to face Daryl who was seething at the thought of Negan touching what was his.

"He kept me safe when no one else would. Protected me from people who wanted nothing but to hurt me. People like you, Negan."

"Well, look at how well that turned out, Princess." You could hear the smile in his voice as he responded.

"I would trade places with him in a heartbeat." You spat, wrenching yourself out of Negan's grasp as Rick reappeared with the missing guns. He threw them into the truck with the rest of the arsenal.

"Now that you've seen we can follow your rules, I'd like to ask if Daryl can stay?" Rick asked, his jaw clenched in desperation.

"Well, well. You hear that, Princess? Your wish is about to come true!" Negan called to you over his shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked once again, looking at you over Negan's shoulder.

"Y/N here said she'd switch places with Daryl in a heartbeat. Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You swallowed, making eye contact with Rick long enough to nod before looking back at your feet. You heard a sigh from somewhere beside you, and you didn't have to look at him to know Daryl was the one it came from.

"You can't have her." Rick replied.

"I don't know, I think that's a fair trade, Rick! You get Daryl, I get his pretty little fuck buddy. She'll be kneeling for me in no time." The queasy feeling in your stomach returned at the words Negan used.

"Y/N, you can't do this." Rick said, only to be met with silence.

"Hold on now, let's give her a chance to plead her case! Y/N?" Negan gestured, allowing you the platform to speak.

"He's right, Rick. I don't bring anything to the table. I can't protect you, this place, as well as everyone else can and has. You don't need me." you argued, ignoring the smile that spread across Negan's face. Rick looked at you with disbelief and betrayal.

"Y/N, you're stronger than you think you are," Rick said, defending you with words rather than actions.

"Then I guess it's time for me to figure that out in my own way, Rick. I'll go. Daryl stays." You finalized the trade, staring deep into Negan's eyes with an unwavering glare. Negan gazed at you with a smile, before throwing his hands out to his sides.

"Seems like the decision's been made, Ricky! Dwight, make Y/N comfortable. She's got a long ride ahead of her." Negan ordered.

"Wait!" You cried, ripping your arm out of Dwight's grasp. Negan turned to look at you expectantly. "May I please say goodbye?"

"Only since you asked so nicely, Princess. You have two minutes. Alright everybody, let's roll out!" Negan answered, removing his bat from your grasp and tapping his wrist before watching you turn your attention to Daryl.

"Y/N, you don't have to do this." Daryl whispered, leaning into your touch as you raked your hands through his tangled hair.

"Yes I do, Daryl. But I promise you, I will find my way back here. Back to you, okay?" Daryl nodded briefly before pulling you into his arms again, but this time, kissing you. Daryl's kisses always managed to take your breath away, but this one was different. His lips moved against yours in a way that was hopeful, but sad, very much a kiss goodbye. His tongue slid against your bottom lip before pushing past your teeth and making out with you like his life depended on it. Your hands wound into his hair, his following suit. You both pulled away breathless, wrapping each other in a hug that was so tight you were sure you'd feel him the entire way to the Savior's compound.

"Time's up, Princess. A trade's a trade, and if you don't get in the truck, I'll bash Daryl's head in." Negan called, breaking you away from the comfort of Daryl's arms. With one more kiss, you turned to Negan, following him to the truck, He stuck you in the middle seat, draping Lucielle across your lap as he turned to bid farewell to Rick and the rest of Alexandria with a promise to return in a week. He then climbed into the passenger seat of the truck, squishing you between his hulking frame and the driver.

As the convoy of trucks rolled out past the gate, you couldn't help but watch as Alexandria grew smaller in the view of the side mirror. Negan's hand brushed your thigh as he leaned in to get close to your ear.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. We'll be a dream team before you know it."

#the walking dead #negan x reader #daryl dixion imagine #twd imagine #fluff #angst

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rollerman1 · 4 months

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#ford #f series #superduty #stretched #4x4 #tow pig #friends & family cab

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onlyhappyvibes · 9 days

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Moving patches to a new storage unit

#gas #slammed77 #volkswagenobsession #stick #out doors #Vw #vw westy #bus #volkswagen transporter #vintage volkswagen #volkswagen bus #vintage vw #vw wagon #vwbus #car trailer #dually #tow pig #tow rig #tow truck

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aurumacadicus · 1 month

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We're not foolin', the next month of book club starts on April 1st! If you're interested in book club, feel free to send me a message or ask and I'll send you the Discord link. All the book summaries are under the cut. Happy voting!

The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Avery Grambs has a plan for a better future: survive high school, win a scholarship, and get out. But her fortunes change in an instant when billionaire Tobias Hawthorne dies and leaves Avery virtually his entire fortune. The catch? Aver has no idea why – or even who Tobias Hawthorne even is.

To receive her inheritance, Avery must move into sprawling, secret passage-filled Hawthorne House, where every room bears the old man’s touch – and his love of puzzles, riddles, and codes. Unfortunately for Avery, Hawthorne House is also occupied by the family that Tobias Hawthorne just dispossessed. This includes the four Hawthorne grandsons: dangerous, magnetic, brilliant boys who grew up with every expectation that one day, they would inherit billions. Heir apparent Grayson Hawthorne is convinced that Avery must be a conwoman, and he’s determined to take her down. His brother, Jameson, views her as their grandfather’s last hurrah: a twisted riddle, a puzzle to be solved. Caught in a world of wealth and privilege, with danger around every turn, Avery will have to play the game herself just to survive.

Suitors and Sabotage by Cindy Anstey

Two young people must hide their true feelings for each other while figuring out who means them harm in this cheeky Regency romance from the author of Love, Lies, and Spies and Duels & Deception.

Shy aspiring artist Imogene Chively has just had a successful Season in London, complete with a suitor of her father’s approval. Imogene is ambivalent about the young gentleman until he comes to visit her at the Chively estate with his younger brother in tow. When her interest is piqued, however, it is for the wrong brother.

Charming Ben Steeple has a secret: despite being an architectural apprentice, he has no drawing aptitude. When Imogene offers to teach him, Ben is soon smitten by the young lady he considers his brother’s intended.

But hiding their true feelings becomes the least of their problems when, after a series of “accidents,” it becomes apparent that someone means Ben harm. And as their affection for each other grows—despite their efforts to remain just friends—so does the danger… The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

Mors vincit omnia. Death conquers all.

London, 1883. The Veil between the living and dead has thinned. Violet-eyed mediums commune with spirits under the watchful eye of the Royal Speaker Society, and sixteen-year-old Silas Bell would rather hip out his violet eyes than become an obedient Speaker wife. According to Mother, he’ll be married by the end of the year. It doesn’t matter that he’s needed a decade of tutors to hide his autism; that he practices surgery on slaughtered pigs; that he is a boy, not the girl the world insists on seeing.

After a failed attempt to escape an arranged marriage, Silas is diagnosed with Veil sickness—a mysterious disease sending violet-eyed women into madness—and shipped away to Braxton’s Sanitorium and Finishing School. The facility is cold, the instructors merciless, and the students either bloom into eligible wives or disappear. So when the ghosts of missing students start begging Silas for help, he decides to reach into Braxton’s innards and expose its rotten guts to the world—as long as the school doesn’t break him first.

Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger

It’s one thing to learn to curtsy properly. It’s quite another to learn to curtsy and throw a knife at the same time. Welcome to Finishing School.

Fourteen-year-old Sophronia is a great trial to her poor mother. Sophronia is more interested in dismantling clocks and climbing trees than proper manners—and the family can only hope that company never sees her atrocious curtsy. Mrs. Temminnick is desperate for her daughter to become a proper lady. So she enrolls Sophronia in Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality.

But Sophronia soon realizes the school is not quite what her mother might have hoped. At Mademoiselle Geraldine’s, young ladies learn to finish…everything. Certainly, they learn the fine arts of dance, dress, and etiquette, but they also learn to deal out death, diversion, and espionage—in the politest possible ways, of course. Sophronia and her friends are in for a rousing first year’s education.

Rosemary and Rue by Seanan McGuire

October “Toby” Daye, a changeling who is half human and half fae, has been an outsider from birth. After getting burned by both sides of her heritage, Toby has denied the Faerie world, retreating to a “normal” life. Unfortunately for her, the Faerie world has other ideas…

The murder of Countess Evening Winterrose pulls Toby back into the fae world. Unable to resist Evening’s dying curse, which binds her to investigate, Toby must resume her former position as knight errand and renew old alliances. As she steps back into fae society, dealing with a cast of characters not entirely good or evil, she realizes that more than her own life will be forfeited if she cannot find Evening’s killer.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

On a bitter-cold day, in the December of his junior year at Harvard, Sam Masur exits a subway car and sees, amid the hordes of people waiting on the platform, Sadie Green. He calls her name. For a moment, she pretends she hasn’t heard him, but then, she turns, and a game begins; a legendary collaboration that will launch them to stardom. These friends, intimates since childhood, borrow money, beg favors, and, before even graduating college, they have created their first blockbuster, Ichigo. Overnight, they world is theirs. Not even twenty-five years old, Sam and Sadie are brilliant, successful, and rich, but these qualities won’t protect them from their own creative ambitions of the betrayals of their hearts.

Spanning thirty years, from Cambridge, Massachusetts, to Venice Beach, California, and lands in between and far beyond, Gabrielle Zeven’s Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow is a dazzling and intricately imagined novel that examines the multifarious nature of identity, disability, failure, the redemptive possibilities in play, and above all, our need to connect: to be loved and to love. Yes, it is a love story, but it is not one you have read before.

Gwen & Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher

It’s been hundreds of years since King Arthur’s reign. His descendant, Arthur, a future Lord and general gadabout, has been betrothed to Gwendoline, the quick-witted, short-tempered princess of England, since birth. The only thing they can agree on is that they despise each other.

They’re forced to spend the summer together at Camelot in the run-up to their nuptials, and within 24 hours, Gwen has discovered Arthur kissing a boy, and Arthur has gone digging for Gwen’s childhood diary and found confessions about her crush on the kingdom’s only lady knight, Bridget Leclair.

Realizing they might make better allies than enemies, Gwen and Art make a reluctant pact to cover for each other, and as things heat up at the annual royal tournament, Gwen is swept off her feet by her knight, and Arthur takes an interest in Gwen’s royal brother. Lex Croucher’s Gwen & Art Are Not in Love is chock full of sword-fighting, found family, and romantic shenanigans destined to make readers fall in love.

#polls #book club

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sillyandquest · 7 months

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So, I started drawing the 2012 ninja turtles and realized that if the Mutant Mashup Au is a mix of both the 2012 and Rise iteration of ninja turtles, then I should probably combine their art styles when I draw them. It sounds fun but I'm not sure whether or not I should make the boys look more like the 2012 or Rise art style.

Should I give the Rise boys more chonky legs and upper arms or slim down the 2012 boys to look more human?

Then again, this is just a silly au with lots to figure out. The difference could be explained away as simply as "the 2012 boys just mutated differently" or "Draxum used a variation of the ooze when creating the Rise Boys." Both @possumsarenice and I agree that Draxum was the one to mutate both sets of Hamato's, not the 2012 Kraang, but that makes me wonder if he mutated all of them at once.

Putting a cut here in case you aren't a fan of large bodies of text.

Draxum would have no reason to capture Yoshi unless he did his research and figured out Lou had an older brother. It just so happened that Yoshi bought his turtles when Draxum went to capture him, in place of Yoshi encountering the Kraang in canon. (I think Draxum went to capture Yoshi himself and sent Huginn and Muninn to get Lou. He had little info. on what to expect from Yoshi so Draxum got pretty roughed up I think.)

Alternatively, Draxum had planned to use Yoshi as a guinea pig of sorts BEFORE he did anything to Lou and the Kraang started hunting Yoshi soon after he escaped with four freshly mutated baby turtles in tow. To someone like Draxum using Yoshi first would make sense as he was older and would be considered "less of a threat" than Lou. We all know that isn't the case but Draxum sure didn't.

If all the Hamato's mutated at once, then Yoshi and Lou would meet up a whole lot sooner and be forced to tolerate and live together like they used too. It opens the door to sooner healing and less misunderstandings because in this Au Yoshi and Lou are NOT on good terms. This is due to how they perceived each other's reaction to their mother's death.

Lou saw Yoshi still following the Hamato teachings, even though those teachings stole their mother away, and believed Yoshi was unfazed, he considered Yoshi heartless. Yoshi believed that Lou turning his back on the Hamato clan meant he turned his back on their mother and family, that's why he considered Lou a disgrace.

Lou would see his mother's death the same way he saw it in canon, an unnecessary sacrifice. (At least until he realized the great evil behind the seal was real.) Meanwhile, Yoshi would likely see his mother's death as an act of heroism. Lou resented the Hamato clan for years because the duty they carried was one that took away one of the people Lou loved most. Yoshi, on the other hand, understood the sacrifice and what it meant. He hated it, but he understood that his mother only wanted to protect her family, and the world, from the Dark Armor.

Yoshi knew that his mother's final act was one of love. Love for her sons, love for her family, love for the Earth itself.

Both learned a lesson that day. Lou learned that the burden of saving the world is one that will consume everything, leaving you with nothing but the broken pieces of a once happy life before you had the chance to really grow up. Yoshi learned that loss is a painful but necessary sacrifice to save everyone, to protect everyone. To him "it doesn't matter that the burden is heavy, what matters is that you carry it."

#tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #mutant mashup au #i swear i did not mean for this to become a ramble #it was fun to write though

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dmwrites · 2 years

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The monolith wasn’t something Grian had really taken a real gander at before. This occurred to him one sunny morning, as he was stretching his wings with a glide around spawn town. He’d spent so much time with the entity and his mega base, and already, it seemed, the hermitsippi and the buildings that lined it were cloaked in nostalgia.

But, back to the monolith. The thing stuck out like a white pencil in the sky as Grian soared over to it and landed on top. He sighed in contentment- the diorite that it was made of was just starting to warm up, and it was quiet up here, with just a touch of wind chimes coming from the giant birch tree nearby. Grian was pretty sure it was called the Whimsical Tree or something. Pretty thing.

“Grian?”

“Oh, hey Bdubs.” Grian turned to smile at his friend. “I didn’t know you were home! Hope you don’t mind me taking a rest up here- it’s so nice.”

Bdubs smiled and came up the stairs the rest of the way. “Not at all, darling Grian. You know you’re welcome to anything. What’s mine is yours and all that.”

“Thanks bud.” Grian closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sun. “Honestly, I haven’t seen you around much. Where have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been all over. Traveling, making puzzles, tending to the Tree of Whimsey. Oh, and I got the nicest surprise from Keralis the other day! Do you wanna see?”

“Sure!” Grian opened his eyes and flew down with Bdubs to the ground.

“So, as you know, Lulu was my beautiful and perfect horse from last season. And now I have Mi Amore and Mi Amore 2, which are both wonderful horses, but nothing compared to my Lulu.” Bdubs whispered the last part of the sentence to him. “But, here I was the other day, just feeding the Amores, and Keralis showed up, and you won’t believe who he had in tow! Lulu!” Bdubs pointed down, and Grian found himself looking at a painted pig.

“Oh… wow.” The pig was painted stark white, with the precision of someone who builds hyper-realistic houses, and had the green leather armor Grian remembered Lulu the horse wearing. It even had a saddle. But it was most certainly a pig. Grian looked at Bdubs, trying to see any hint of a joke in his big ol’ eyes. There was nothing but pure joy. “Wow, I can’t believe he just found Lulu like that. She looks so good!” Grian made a mental note to talk to Keralis later about his scamming skills- clearly the man was an expert.

“Oh thank you, she’s such a pretty lady.” Bdubs pat the pig on the rump. “But, not only that, I also found Squawkers!”

“Squawkers?” Grian asked.

“My parrot from last season. I thought he was gone forever, but I found him wandering around spawn, of all places! Silly thing. I keep him inside, though. He’s skittish. Come, let me show you.” He waved Grian inside the monolith. Up a couple of dizzying flights of white stairs, and they came to a small room with a bed and seeds in a bucket. “Look at him! My Squawkers ! He’s looking a bit yellow, maybe from the trip between season worlds, but still, here he is!”

The thing was, that wasn’t a bird sitting on the bed. Sure, maybe if you stretched the truth, you could pretend like a pig was a horse. But sitting on the bed wasn’t an animal at all, but a man. A man that Grian knew all too well.

“Timmy?”

“What? No, no, his name is Squawkers.” Bdubs gently corrected him.

The blonde man was sitting on the bed, completely still and silent. He was full size, the way Grian remembered him, but it was like he was a doll. Except dolls can’t breathe, and he was. Alive, but not fully... here. Yet. Grian’s body felt icy cold all of a sudden. Yet. Why had he thought yet?

“You know what? I feel like something is off with Squawkers. Would you agree?” Bdubs cocked his head at Jimmy.

“Uh, yeah.” Grian choked out. He felt dizzy.

“Yeah…. He looks more like a canary now. Maybe it’s the lighting, I don’t know.” Bdubs tapped his chin to indicate he was thinking.

Grian had only seen Jimmy two times before, and both times ended in gruesome deaths of his friends. Grian knew who Jimmy was, and understood, in a fuzzy way, what this meant. Many things clicked in his mind all at once. Scar with his bow, saying he couldn’t understand why he felt the need to shoot. xB with his own bow, seemingly everywhere, just watching, on edge, all the time. Tango lettting Gem kill him over and over, both of them laughing and covered in his blood. The diamond pillar war in all its bloody glory. How Grian felt more alive there then all of the rest of this season so far combined. He looked to Bdubs, and for a second he wasn’t the handsome moss man, but the battle-worn fighter telling him that Etho loved him.

“No…” Grian whispered. If Jimmy was here, it could only mean one thing. The battle was coming back, the game with one victor was about to begin. And it wasn’t going to happen in a far off land this time. The war was coming here. The bloodlust was about to truly begin, and yes, Jimmy really did look like a canary now.

#May 31 2022 #fic #3rd life/last life #grian #bdubs #hermitcraft #s9 #bdubs and his fucked up pets my beloved #thought of this in the shower #long post

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