Ned reads One Piece update!
1.
If I were in One Piece, I would be one of those people who diligently learn a martial art over twenty years. Instead of rolling the dice eating a Devil fruit like “Surprise! It’s the Tot-Tot Fruit! Your fingernails are now potatoes and you can’t swim! Woohoo!”
2.
Bae: Chopper is a reindeer who ate the human-human fruit, and now he’s a human-reindeer hybrid, shunned by both humans and reindeer.
Me: yeah, that tracks, and sounds perfectly reasonable.
Bae: his full name is TonyTony Chopper.
Me: GET THE FUCK OUT. I HATE IT HERE.
3.
“We need a doctor. Let’s go to the island formerly known as Doctor Island, but is now known as No Doctor Island, because all the doctors were conscripted to Evil Doctor Mountain to do mad science for the king, leaving the people without medical care. Boy, oppression sure takes many forms!”
4.
I was real skeptical about Vivi’s country for a long while. It took Crocodile going, “Now it’s time for my evil plan!” for me to believe Vivi and her dad (or maybe just her dad?) weren’t actually despots who had it coming.
5.
Oh man! Is Sanji going to save everyone? From giant crocodiles? While wearing glasses?
I’m cackling.
Let’s GO!
6.
I know enough about Sanji’s second tragic backstory to think him giving himself the code name Mr. Prince is not all that funny, you weirdo.
7.
I’m not saying I understand Sanji better now. But I am saying,
Hey, girl.
How you doin’?
It was pretty terrifying how you used your extra arms to put that dude who turned into a hawk in a choke hold.
Do you maybe want me to cook for you? I make a mean potato salad.
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I love how most of these recent asks are asking about MK's taste in fruit. At this point, we might as well give this guy a whole grocery store/garden just to give him a comfort food selection. Sorry if this isn't an ask XD
I KNOW RIGHT???
LIKE, TO ME IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SOMEHOW THEY THINK I CAN FEED THE BOY AND SOMETIMES I JUST SIT IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER WITH THE PEN OF MY TABLET IN HAND AND I SAY
"boy, surely they want to feed the kid well huh"
AND IT'S HILARIOUS, I'm not complaining tho, I just don't know how to react to those kinds of requests, that's why I start laughing, there will come a point where it will become routine and they'll become my ruin /hj
But seriously, let's pls stop with the froot requests, o K?
T h a n k y o u
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Alastor loves his mother, he protected her from his father and went on a killing spree on all horrible men.
So it only makes sense that he falls in love with single mother reader yeah? Like she killed her husband to protect her child and they both ended up in hell? And Alastor just obsessing with mother reader and her child.
I haven’t written anything in a while so this might be a little wonky but i hope i did ok
———————————————————————————
Alastor hated men that treated good women terribly.
Especially if there were children in the home.
He had lived with his mother, who put up with his father’s abuse for his sake.
Until Alastor had had enough of seeing the woman he loved abused by her husband.
Despite his mother's protests.
His mother always loved his father despite how he treated them.
Love works in mysterious ways Is what his mother use to say.
He didn’t understand what that meant…
Until he met you.
The pretty doll with a tot.
From the grapevine he learned that no one had seen a husband around or a band on your finger.
He thought it was impossible; you were a catch!
Why was a sweet thing like you without a husband?
“Would you care to stay for dinner my dear?” Alastor asked as you got up ready to go home. You had came over to give him a fruit basket, a welcome gift as you were his neighbor.
You looked at the time surprised at how long you had stayed chatting.
”Oh Al i would hate to intrude and its past this one’s bedtime” you said gesturing to the child, who had fell asleep in your arms.
Alastor hummed. He had grown quite attached to you and the little one, he had hoped you would take his invitation and stay the night.
Soon.
You gave him a soft smile and went home.
Alastor was the most eligible bachelor in town. All the ladies swooned after him, though he never cared for the attention, but it was different with you.
He went about his evening routine when the sound of shouting could be heard.
interesting.
From the window of his kitchen, he had a perfect view into your home.
A man was standing in your living room, hands moving animatedly.
He scowled. Ah that must be your estranged husband.
You had told Alastor a bit about the man you were married to and how much of a bastard he was.
You were frowning and standing between him and your child.
The man advanced and Alastor thought to go over but to his surprise you gestured for the child to go to their room and got in the man’s face.
The two of you exchanged words and the man raised his hand and hit you. You stumbled back, seemingly shock and looked at him with disbelief and something else.
You grabbed a nearby by lamp and smashed it against his head. The man went down and you jumped on top of him, slamming the lamp down over and over until you stood back up and there was blood on your clothes.
You covered your mouth, panic set in and you ran from the room.
Alastor’s lips turned into a smile and he made his way over.
He knocked at the door, basically bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.
You opened the door, now cleaned “A-Al? What are you-”
He feigned concern “Heard a ruckus and came to make sure you and the tot were ok” You looked back into the house and then back at him.
”We-we’re ok” you whispered.
His brows quirked, head tilting “You sure Cher?”
You bit at your lip before opening the door to let him in.
Alastor’s eyes landed on the battered body of your husband and turned to you.
You were obviously distressed “Al he-he threatened me and then hit me and I didn’t know what else to do” you approached him, almost pleading
”Please don’t report me. Pretend you saw nothing and keep. This between us”
Alastor approached the body. He nugded it with his shoe and smiled “Oh my dear I would never. In fact, why not leave this mess to me hm? You look worn for wear ”
You nodded and sat on your couch and had a meltdown.
You just killed a man.
Your husband.
But you had no choice.
———————————————————————————-
“So you’re telling me that you been with Smiles ever since” Angel asked shocked.
You smiled “I mean it ain’t every day a man takes care of your dead body. I knew from that moment that he was the one for me”
After the death of your husband, you and Alastor started seeing each other more intimately.
He had let you in on his true identity and the bond between the two of you had grown stronger.
He was an excellent father to your child. The little tot had even started calling him daddy.
But fate was cruel and after many years you died, ending up in Hell for the murder of your husband.
You had found Alastor and reunited, he led you to the hotel, where the two of you lived as a couple.
”She’s full of surprises I assure you” a radio-like voice said and you turned to see Alastor entering the lobby with your child in tow.
Yes. Full of surprises.
For he would have killed the man himself if you didn’t.
it was only right that you were now his
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