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#to every day at this point like i literally just want to go to sleep. and im so bitter bc ppl are like oh yeah you guys must have had a
pupyuj · 2 days
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6_fxx8Pm0x/?igsh=MWw2MGF0bzgzMjdpYQ==
UHMM?? HELLOOOOO? OBSESSED YUJIN, STALKER YUJIN,CRAZY YUJIN💦
HEHEHDHDHCJ i thank the lord everyday for the existence of accendio mv bcs EVIL!YUJIN??? god i need her. GOOD!GAEUL GIVE ME THE WAND I CAN DISTRACT HER 😛😛😛 also this doesn't have too much smut purely bcs i didn't rlly think it'd fit much into the scenario but there's still some crumbs! 😭
[cw: dubcon (implied), yujin is really creepy and insane]
anon said the words ‘obsessed’, ‘stalker’, and ‘crazy’ and i just immediately thought of those admirers that go too far with their crush on that one person and yeah.. sounds like something yuj would be alright 🤪 her being the cool sunbae yujin that’s taken a strange liking to you, literally just some girl 😭 yujin being so confident of herself that she doesn’t waste energy by being subtle at all! constantly waiting by your locker to say good morning, sometimes she even takes you to class, waves at you if she doesn’t have time to talk to you, makes small talk in the bathrooms, the library, the courtyard, the gardens—wait, how is it that she knows wherever you are almost all the time?? 🤔 maybe it was all just a coincidence, yujin knows the campus like the back of her hand after all! 😅
anyway, yujin is very romantic! she knows a lot of things that you like! how? why, she kindly asked your friends.. with a few threats here and there bcs they were becoming suspicious of her intent but the point is that she got the information she wanted, okay? ☺️ she knows your favorite type of flowers, favorite foods and delicacies, and sometimes shows up at your front porch with those exact gifts just for you! 🥰
except that.. you never told her where you lived. not even which part of town your house was in. not even your friends could’ve told her. that’s why they showed up to school with bruises and cuts one day. but turns out yujin found you anyway. like she always does.
that was the final straw for you—you were officially creeped the fuck out! and so you start putting some distance between you and yujin but she didn't like that at all! she started following you around more, practically running after you every time you dash away from her.. she wasn't going to give up easily! 😣😣 you tried to block her from all of your social media accounts bcs she keeps spamming you with borderline threats and pictures of you that she has taken while she stalked you but she was really stubborn!
wouldn't think there would be anything wrong with climbing your house and watching you right next to your bedroom window,, her heavy breathing fogging up the glass with how close she was just to see your clearly,, you looked so beautiful sleeping so peacefully! :(( but you'd stir in your sleep, as if you knew something was amiss beyond your little dreamland.. then you'd wake up and find your window slightly open,, at first you thought that you probably just forgot to close it again but then your eyes snap open at the sight of the figure sitting on your bed,, your first instinct would be to kick it and move away but it was faster than you! it covers your mouth shut and only under the tiniest stream of moonlight did you recognize the person that had broken into your room—ahn yujin!
ofc she wouldn't see a problem with breaking into your home,, doesn't hesitate to threaten you either! saying that she'd hurt you or worse if you were to make a single noise and alert your neighbors. yujinnie just wanted to get close to you! in her head, she has been nothing but kind! why did you insist on rejecting her?! she truly didn't understand, but that was okay. she was going to make you understand! now that she has you all for herself... she can do anything she has been wanting to do! like kissing you (she was very happy when you eventually kissed back despite your initial resistance!), touching you (she always knew your skin was so soft), and ofc, fucking you (you rlly had to make her for work it—kicking and punching and trying to bite her hand... but in the end, yujin got her way with you. like she always will from now on.) 😰
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adambja · 18 hours
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✴️THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND✴️
The Guide - the only post you will ever need to understand how your subconscious mind works!
1. Time isn't real
Let me break it to you! Time isn't real at all cuz think about it all these hours and numbers are made by humans!
But how?!
They just track how the earth moves around the sun and that's all
Yes without time there will be morning and night and still these hours aren't real
As in whole THE UNIVERSE!! TIME DOESN'T EXIST IF YOU AREN'T ON THE EARTH!
which GETS US TO THAT ONE POINT
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND REPROGRAMMING DOESN'T TAKE 21 DAYS OR ANY TIME
Subconscious mind reprogramming is instant
That's why I always add it to my tapes as benefits and that's why I made the benefits! cuz it bypasses the conscious mind and it makes it easier for your subconscious to make it reality!
So basically it all comes down to what you assume!!
2. Languages
I got that question a lot about what if I can't speak English, will the affirmations work?
Yes ofc they will
whatever it's affirmations only or my tapes
Even if you make your own tapes it will work!!
3. Thoughts
Is it really "it is what it is"?
Yes, it is what it is
For ex.
if you think you already got 50k US DOLLARS you already have it it's that simple (like that success story a girl experienced with one of my free tapes she manifested 50k US DOLLARS! - also this one success story - The tape is on YouTube btw)
Again it all comes down to what you assume!
4. Assuming
Assuming hmmm... Do you know that all your thoughts are assumptions?
But there are two things about these thoughts!
Did you assume that they are real and true?
Do you assume that whatever you want is already achieved?
Do you assume that you are always right?
Or did you assume that it can't happen cuz you think you are lying!
Just be honest with yourself
Get a piece of paper and write everything you think about down ABOUT A SPECIFIC MANIFESTATION YOU GOT ON YOUR MIND!
And if you think you are lying why? Ask yourself! Make all that noise go away and clear it for yourself! You deserve better
Now this gets us to another point which is your manifesting self-concept and your self-concept they are very important for ur existence like they are the core of your life! So a little advice work on them then do whatever you want!
Cuz it changes the way you think and what you assume
So like a person with a bad or mid self-concept they will always assume the worst for themselves
Another person with a good self-concept they will be aware of who they are and what they are capable of!
5. Thoughts, Feelings and beliefs!
Again and again
How you feel is created by thought
Subconscious programming → beliefs → feelings → thoughts
So if you keep saying "oh I am sad" multiple times you will be sad it's just that simple
Use it for your own good!
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And imagine what... Right now
Your beliefs will reflect in your reality after one thought instantly after reading this post so be careful cuz i already manifested this while typing this!
And listen to in control tape by me on YouTube!
Basically you can always create beliefs instantly cuz you believe that time isn't real... Did you know what we are doing here? Just assuming the best for us but you still have to be constant to get used to it and make it a part of your programming like everyday
Someone like me I enter the void every time I nap and sleep I got used to it and I don't even feel tired anymore when I wake up there and I don't use it that much anymore!
I literally enjoy how easy it is in life to do whatever I want and experience whatever I want!
6. Simple assumptions to have a good relationship with your subconscious mind
I will give you 10 affirmations from my paid subconscious mind tape at the end (I know it won't be the same as the tape itself because of the benefits but still it might help you guys!)
Do you know that your subconscious mind is here for you like a parent it's like your personal assistant - it has everything about you, your memories and it controls ur whole life it accepts every single thought you think about unless you say it it's not something you accept so it gets in your subconscious mind like "oh I don't accept this"
Even the negative statements your subconscious mind knows it negative!! Same thing with the positive statements
Like for ex.
I am not a bad person - negative statement
Your subconscious mind acknowledges it!
Your subconscious mind won't take it in like "I am a bad person" without the "not"
Even the same thing with
I am a good person - positive statement
Your subconscious mind acknowledges it TOO
The subconscious mind ACCEPTS THE NEGATIVE STATEMENTS TOO!
IT IS simply WHAT IT IS!!
It's not the opposite at all as some weird bloggers said! Or even that book about the subconscious mind it's called "the power of the subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy" it's full of bs and limiting beliefs - I genuinely hate it
I literally saw a coach in Saudi Arabia on X (PREVIOUSLY Twitter) selling a whole course for almost 30k USD and sharing all the limiting beliefs in that book and that was months ago!
I mean at least IF YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE PAY FOR SOMETHING PROVIDE THEM WITH THE BEST THINGS AND INFORMATION
I hated how some people let some crazy stuff like that get to them without doing their own research or just creating their own rules!!
Be a little independent please for your own good
Your subconscious mind can be programmed instantly YOU DON'T NEED ANY TIME all you need to realize and understand is that yes "I always reprogram my subconscious mind instantly" and YOU JUST NEED comfort and just repeating the affs - this is a way
Another way to do it - make your own tapes and it's just repetition
Another way to do it - simply be it be whatever you want to be! Like it's already you!
One last way to do it - my free tapes + paid tapes they are very effective they work from the first listen because they have benefits again what actually made my tapes get that much success stories is the benefits
I am gonna upload 2 new free tapes they are small but very effective! Everyone here will like them!!
🎀10 Affirmations for your subconscious mind🎀
from my paid subconscious mind tape
Affirmations:
Me and my subconscious mind are one.
My subconscious mind already accepts everything I say as true.
My subconscious mind already accepts everything think about as true.
My subconscious mind is already my best friend forever.
My subconscious mind always helps me with everything.
My subconscious mind always loves me.
My subconscious mind always helps me reach my highest potential in this lifetime!
My subconscious mind already believes what I want it to believe easily effortlessly quickly and instantly.
My subconscious mind always manifests everything I want easily effortlessly and instantly.
I have a perfect relationship with my subconscious mind.
Thank you guys for all the support and love and I hope this post helped you!
If you have any questions you can always send an ask I will be happy to answer them whenever I am free! Also you can dm me if you want a paid tape or a custom tape!
One last thing these tapes are with benefits they aren't like any other tapes that are available everywhere these days! 🎀
Enjoy!💗
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undertheopensky · 3 days
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Forging Tired
Whumptober Day 26: Working To Exhaustion
Characters: Four, Blue, Sky
Trigger warnings: None
Read on Ao3!
---
Sky doesn’t realise it until after dinner, but Four hasn’t banked the forge fires.
“I’m not done yet,” Four waves at the admittedly intimidating pile of repair work yet to be done. A couple of plates from Time’s armour probably need to be replaced entirely, they have such large holes in them.
“It’s getting real late. Don’t stay up too much longer, you need to get some sleep.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Body’s not tired.” Four flexes one arm and gives him a grin that looks so much like Wind Sky’s eyes cross.
“Maybe not,” they sure hadn’t done much physical stuff today, just run around the village resupplying and gathering information, “but your brain still needs rest.”
This time Four snorts. “The brain is fast asleep, but that’s okay, we don’t need it for this.”
No one asks any more why Four sometimes refers to himself in the third person or plural. At best, he’ll pretend you didn’t say anything, and at worst, he’ll look at you like you’re the strange one. The closest they’ve gotten to an explanation is an offhanded, sympathetic “Yeah, we get it,” when Time first told them to stop asking about his timekeeping, because it was a holdover from a quest too traumatic to describe.
So, slightly weird, probably a Quest Thing, doesn’t seem to affect him day-to-day.
That said Sky’s a little concerned about him working with hot metal with his brain asleep.
“Are you sure? We can wait another day or two before setting out, I’m sure Time won’t mind. We don’t want you exhausting yourself over this.”
Four makes a rude noise, which is out of character enough Sky blinks. “I think I know my limits well enough, featherhead. Besides, forging’s not that hard. I wanna take advantage of actually having all my damn equipment for once, and goddess knows we probably won’t be here long. Our shit needs a lot of maintenance done. Don’t worry about the noise. The forge’s been soundproofed since we were little. Go away and sleep, featherhead, you need it more than us.”
He shoos Sky from the forge, polite but implacably firm.
Sky can’t exactly argue. Four is the smith here, and he knows himself best. If he says it’s fine, Sky will just have to believe him.
And as promised, as soon as the heavy door swings closed, the sounds of the forge muffle to almost nothing.
---
With Sky finally gone, Blue feels the tension ease out of him. Finally, some peace and quiet. He loves his brothers, and he supposes the heroes they’re travelling with aren’t TOO bad, but sometimes he just needs time alone in the quiet with his own thoughts and his own projects. There’s not a lot of privacy on the open road, or in a head crammed full of four distinct people.
Vio struggles with it, too, Blue knows, as he sets up the next few pieces of metal to heat and shovels fresh coke into the fire. But unlike Blue, the nerd is soothed by late nights spent reading or taking the darkest hours of watch, where Blue needs to do things to calm the itch in his brain. Armour and weapons maintenance is great for that - but it’s not always quiet. And waking everyone up with his activities would very much defeat the point.
Then, once he’s got things set up, Blue sits down at the bench with pliers and wire.
The worst thing about Sky’s mail is that the links are an eighth of an inch larger than standard - than literally everyone else’s. Blue had had to make a winding rod specifically for his damn mail, and has to double check every time before starting repairs to make sure he’s pulling from the right patch of spares.
If he had more time, he’d just make him a mail shirt from normal links. Standardise them across the board, and improve Sky’s resistance to piercing claws. But he doesn’t - they don’t - and besides that when this is all over Sky will be going back to his home in the clouds with its stupid mail measurements and its barely-there monster attacks and he’ll have no use for the close-set rings of modern mail and they’ll never see him again -
The forge fires burn hot enough that Blue can pretend it’s the air making his eyes sting.
Mending mail is busywork, stuff to keep his hands occupied while he waits for things to heat. It needs doing, and if he does it here then he can rivet the rings shut properly instead of the temporary road fixes (shit he needs to check Twilight’s mail he knows he put in a patch at one point but doesn’t remember riveting it in, need to do that before they leave) but some things can only be done at the forge. Like the plates of steel he’s got resting to the side, waiting to be turned into a new piece of Time’s armour.
He should probably get started on that actually so Blue puts aside the mail and reaches for his tongs. A lot of this is just shaping, forming the metal to the exact dimensions and curvature of Time’s body, and then adding buckle straps and point anchors so it can actually be attached. This is the loud part, metal-on-metal ringing and echoing in the enclosed stone room and making his vision swim just a little. He has to pause to blink it away. Does his head actually hurt, or is it just more echoes from the hammer?
Doesn’t matter; he’s got work to do. Blue checks the first piece for fit and moves on to the second; best to get this heavy work done before he gets tired. Working the steel cold takes more effort, but makes it less brittle in the end. Kind of important, that the metal sheets guarding someone’s body don’t shatter under a stiff blow, turning them from a defense into a hazard. You can get away with working horseshoes and stuff like metal fittings hot and then quenching them down, but it’s not worth it with plate armour.
Once he’s got the base curve in place, he checks the lines he drew earlier before his vision started to wobble, then hunts down the blunted chisel he needs. This is the fiddly bit. Blue sets the metal down on the wooden block with the groove specifically for this task, lining it up with the drawn lines, and starts hammering out the ridges.
It’s time-consuming, but the raised metal redirects weapons to less vulnerable points. Blue’s seen a sword swing into an arm then slide off into empty air, instead of an armpit or elbow, because of these ridges. They’re useful.
Time didn’t have any, originally. And while he can’t say for sure - Blue suspects that if he’d had them on his armour that first time a moblin got the jump on him, its spear wouldn’t have slid past the plates into his side quite so easily.
Four’s been quietly upgrading it piece by piece ever since.
The vambrace is harder, more of a curve to force the steel into, but he’s long practised at getting stubborn materials to cooperate. Once it’s done, and added to the pile he’s making of Time’s shit, he pulls the pattern steel Red had spent all day folding and forge welding from the fire. Already the basic shape of it is there: the tapered tip, the length of the blade, the narrow throat and tang. Once it’s finished, it’ll be a dagger for Hyrule. His current one has been sharpened so many times it’s thin enough to use as a lockpick, and they want him to have something good-quality to replace it, something that will last him.
(Will last him beyond this time of portals and black blood, because getting new equipment in his time is so, so difficult and they never want him to go without ever again, and one knife isn’t much in the grand scheme of things but it’s something they can do, and they’ll do their goddess-damn best work on it for him.)
It still needs some more shaping before it’s ready to go under the whetstone, though, so Blue tucks it back in the fire and picks up Wind’s knife, the one with the loose hilt. How the sailor expects to get anything done when he has to hold his entire hand at right angles to keep the thing straight Blue doesn’t know. Apparently he’d been stuffing it with fabric scraps to stabilise it, which, great, now Blue has to dig them all out before he can decide if the hilt is at all salvageable.
It doesn’t help that his fingers are a little shaky. Shit. Maybe he needs a water break.
He sets the dubiously-fixable knife aside while he drinks. He doesn’t feel thirsty. Dry-eyed, maybe, and his throat aches from the forge air, but the water doesn’t really help. Still, hydration’s important.
A sudden clank makes Blue drop his cup, water scattering on the floor as he spins. The fire flares - oh. A coal had - split, or settled, and the still-dull blade of Hyrule’s dagger had shifted and struck the edge. It looks about ready to go again anyway, so Blue grabs it - with tongs! He’s not an idiot! - and starts hammering an edge into it.
As the blade flattens out and becomes more knife than bar of metal Blue takes care to bevel off both edges neatly. He flips it, to make sure he gets both sides, then flips it again to even it out. He wants the balance on this thing perfect, and if it takes a bit of fiddling, all the better. That way he knows it’s good. Blue holds it up, eyeing the straightness of the blade from the side, and then down the length of it, and nods to himself, moving to set it. Good. He’ll let it cool a little before heating it again, and -
Blue stumbles. The blade clangs down on the bench he’d meant to set it on gently, spinning away from the tongs and fortunately not hitting any part of him with the still red-hot metal. Fuck, he’d forgotten to pick up his cup. It’s a good thing it’s so hot in here that all the water evaporated off or he might have slipped. Fuck.
He checks the blade - fuck, he dinged it - puts it back in the fire, then picks up his cup to set it back beside the water barrel. The metal handle is painfully hot under his fingers. Although - he could do with more water. His eyes are stinging again.
Blue drinks, long and slow. The water tastes metallic, or maybe that’s just the forge air coating his tongue. It settles uneasily. Doesn’t matter - his stomach will get over it.
He fixes the dent made when he dropped the half-made dagger, hammering until metal fills the gap and then hammering it out even again to repair the edge. He also spends more time carefully squinting at it to make sure it’s still straight, so long that the metal goes dark and cold.
Then back in the fire it goes.
Blue gets back to mail repairs, working rings into place, then riveting them shut with scraps from broken links. He considers, as he works, if the long-handled riveting pliers could be made to fit into their tool pouch. They can’t bring along the whole forge, that would be silly, but this one thing? They already carry the cutting pliers to make links with so it’s not like they need anything else for the rivets, and it doesn’t need heat treatment -
He pinches a fingertip with the pliers and swears loudly, shaking it and resisting the urge to shove it in his mouth - his hands are covered in oil and coal dust. Squinting at it - no real damage - he shakes it one more time and picks up the mail patch he dropped. It stings a little, to apply enough pressure to hold the metal fabric. Actually -
Checking the dagger, he pulls it from the fire and rests it on the anvil to cool. This is always time consuming, heating and cooling the steel to normalise it before the final edge can be put on. Heat it, then cool it, then heat it again; all part of ensuring the blade isn’t brittle and will hold its shape and its edge for as long as possible. It’s familiar in a way so ingrained he can almost touch it, watching the metal change colour. Fading from yellow, through red, down to the still blisteringly-hot but normal appearance of steel.
Blue blinks, and finds himself sitting on his preferred stool, metal still cooling in his tongs. Shit. When did he sit down? He’s wasting time, here. Back in the fire, back to work, fingertip still throbbing faintly.
Half the plates on Time’s tassets got ripped off during the fight with the iron knuckle, which are fiddly and annoying but not hard to replace. Once he’s got them shaped and punched Blue is tempted to just hand the lot off to Time for the old man to stitch them in place. Teach him to get distracted watching Twilight’s sword form. Shit, there’s so many of them, too. Time’s lucky his leg was in few enough pieces that Hyrule and Warriors could put it back together.
Blue hammers out scale after scale. Get the curve right; adjust the tongs, hammer out the part they’d hidden; set the edge, set the ridge, set it aside, and grab the next one. He piles them up on the metal workbench; they’d be less annoying to work with if he could just pile them in a coal shovel and dunk them in the fire to soften them, but even if they’re small they’re still armour and he needs to keep them as supple as possible.
And speaking of it’s time to pull the dagger again. The tongs grab it, fumble it, dump it back in the coals, then grab it agin. Blue is very careful as he sets it on the bench. He has no desire to set his own boots alight. This is the last cooling phase, though, so he can let the forge fire die down. Finally. His eyes itch and ache in the hot, dry air. He’d rub them if he wasn’t - still - covered in forge leavings.
Punch the holes for Time’s tasset scales; set them in his pile to deal with in the morning. Finally get the hilt off Wind’s knife and decide it is salvageable, actually, if he glues in a wedge of cedar to fill in the split that was letting it get loose in the first place. How did Wind even do that? Rewrap it in leather strips and it’ll be done; another job for the morning. When his hands aren’t so shaky. He’s getting glue everywhere, ugh.
…does he need to pull the dagger again? No, wait, it’s already on the bench. Does it need to go back in the fire? …no, he already decided it was done. He reaches to grab it, half-intending to measure it up for the hilt and crossguard, but hesitates at the heat radiating off it. Right. Fresh from the forge. Doesn’t look hot, but definitely is. He’ll leave it for an hour or so.
Blue shakes himself, hard, feeling the pull of it in his neck and his forehead. His head aches, behind his eyes. There’s a fine grey fuzz at the edges of his vision. Right, with the forge fire dying, he needs a bit more light. Where’s Vio’s lantern…?
By the too-pale magical light, Blue works, and works, until there’s nothing left to do but wind more wire into chainmail rings and weave them into the cuts and gashes left by enemy claws and weapons, tamp down rivets and move to the next section until he needs to wind out more rings -
It’s endless and monotonous and he can feel the screaming under his skin finally starting to cool, as the fire burns itself out.
Something they do need, he thinks as he pulls out the temporary patch he’d put in Twilight’s mail tunic, is a store of fully-finished rings. Hammering out their linking points and punching rivet holes is best done on an anvil. Then, as long as they have a stock of scrap wire for rivets (inevitable, they’re constantly damaging mail), the cutters and the riveting pliers, they can do repairs that are just as strong as the original work itself. Once they run out of wire, well, that’s more of an issue. The drawing plate is much too heavy to bring along with them.
Blue seals up the last ring in Twilight’s mail and sets it aside, then hops off the stool to go in search of the metal rods he needs to make wire. He knows they left a whole stack of them somewhere.
In truth, most forging doesn’t require a lot of raw strength. The weight of the hammer and the drag of gravity does a lot of the work, and all you need to do is direct it. Blue’s got more muscle from wielding a warhammer, honestly. The exception, he thinks distastefully, is wire drawing. That does need some force, since you’re dragging a piece of metal through smaller and smaller holes, not stretching it so much as drawing it out longer and longer and thinner and thinner, and of course it’s metal, it doesn’t want to do that.
Blue finally finds the basket of rods on a low shelf behind a huge box of half-finished nails - Red’s doing, surely - and carries it to the draw plate. There’s certainly no moving the thing to anywhere else. It weighs more than he does at least twice over, solid iron plate set into a heavy stone base.
Choosing a rod, Blue hammers out a quick point, feeds it through a hole that’s just a little smaller than its current size, clamps it, and starts to pull.
His eyes burn. His head aches. His fingers sting, all the little places where slips and cuts and burns have piled up over long hours. Without his mind keeping track of eight timers at once, it’s free to focus on the physical, and oh, he feels so heavy -
Blue breathes deep, metal and coal dust and ash, and feeds the wire into the next hole.
---
Sky is unhappy but unsurprised to find the patch of floor allocated to Four empty.
Weak morning light streams through the curtains. It’s just enough to see by as Sky checks that Legend’s unmoving form on the bed is just due to stiffness and exhaustion, not something more worrying, and tiptoes around scattered bedrolls. Twilight cracks an eye as he’s stepped over.
“A’right there?” he checks, voice low.
Sky smiles. “Just seein’ who’s up.”
Twilight grunts and to all appearances goes straight back to sleep. For all he wakes with the dawn on the ranch, he does enjoy his sleep, when he can get it.
Sky empathises but he’s got a mission.
Through the shop windows he spots Wild outside, running through the carefully prescribed stretches that kept his scars limber. Once he was done with those, he’d be all up in Four’s kitchen, eager to make food more complex than could be managed over a simple campfire. Four even had an oven, which Wild had been very excited about.
Still, breakfast will come later. The forge door still stands closed, just as it had last night after Four kicked him out. Moving slow, Sky eases the heavy door open, hoping to find him passed out in a corner somewhere.
Instead Four is sitting upright at the workbench. The winding rod in his hands is familiar, though he’s moving far slower than usual, and his hands shake when he reaches for the pliers.
“Four, have you slept at all?” Sky asks, disappointed.
“Huh?” Four turns to look at him, and there’s a distinct pause before recognition flickers. “Oh, Sky. I’m nearly done with your mail. Or…” He squints at the links on the table. “No, mail’s finished. Spare rings. We’re always running out.”
“Sleep, Four,” Sky stresses. “Goddess - have you been working all night?” He eyes up the frankly ludicrous pile of mending that now sits on the other side of the bench from where it started, separated into neat piles by owner. And Four is still going - slowly cutting rings off the spiral, one by one.
“‘M fine.”
He changes tacks. “Four, c’mon. It’s time for breakfast. Wild will sulk if it gets cold, you know he will.”
Four blinks at him, visibly hazy with exhaustion, and finally, slowly, drags himself to his feet. He looks worse, upright. He’s pale and a little haggard, swaying slightly just standing in place. Goddess. He’s going to be an utter wreck today, and they’re supposed to head out for the Castor Wilds later. Maybe Sky can convince Time to wait until after lunch and Four will revive some after a nap -
The smith’s feet tangle. Sky lunges to catch him -
Four catches himself with a quick shake of the head. “Phew, close one,” he mutters. He brushes past Sky into the rest of the house, steps suddenly quick and sure. “C’mon, Sky,” he calls over his shoulder, “help me keep Wild from dirtying every pan I own, I do not want to do dishes today.”
He still looks distinctly unwell over breakfast, but the shake in his hands, the sway in his step, the dull slowness of his eyes and responses - all that is gone like it was never there. He even smiles and keeps up with the conversation. Sky doesn’t know what to make of it.
(In the back of his mind, though, he wonders.)
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nobodieshero-main · 7 months
Text
googling how to not give up on the story that's lived in my head for nearly a decade
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caorl · 4 months
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posting in ehre bc my friends are prob tired of me yapping about this on tt but i cant wait to get a neurologist appointment and got exams done bc im sure i have narcolepsy and have been for a couple years now yet im so so afraid of going bc what if i do have it. and worse. what if i dont have it and all my struggles actually have no explanation other than me being lazy and weak lmao i cant stop thinking about it im so anxious over this
#this is the year we get diagnosis DONE#but fr im so much more interedted in getting this sleep shit checked out#than i am on confirmingg my autism#bc at this point like. theres no way im not on thr spectrum lmao#like if my autism avaliation comes out negative it will be shocking to me#but i'll live ive spent 20 years thinking im just a freaky creature before i found out it could be autism so it eont weight as much ig#but the narcolepsy slash hypersomnia shit..that fucking bothers me.sm#it explains everything ive been having since i was about 13 lmao the peak was the last years of high school#and then living alone in college and getting sleep apralysis every day i got to the point i wouldnt even br frightned anymore#i still have it about like ojce every two weeks now but nowadays what bothers me most#is feeling my muscles go numb when im walking home from college bc i want to sleep#and having hallucinations when im waking up or falling asleep although im also used to these so they dont scare me bc i know im hallucinatin#yk..#but yea the sleeping all day everyday fucking sucks#even when im having fun lol there are couple of videos of me playing the guitar for fun and just sleeping in the kiddle of it#also . when i got put on wellbutrin i had multippe convulsions#that tookme to the er and i dont remember a thing from that week so idk if it made some damage#bc they didnt make any exams at the hospital#they literally said i had overdose although i took the right dose#then injected some muscle relaxant w me#that made me convulse and go unconscious again#and then got me stable and sent me home like Yeah that happened idk just sleep it off#and i have migraines since i was 12 so liek#i hope the neurologist i get sent to takes me.serious#i feel like there is something going on yk#anywayssss#personal#narcolepsy#idk if theres a commujity here on the tags but lmk i feel all alone on this
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reel-fear · 1 year
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one day I'll go insane and release a 234 page essay on why I love Wheatley X GLaDOS so much and its underrated and Love as a construct [link] is the best fanfiction I've ever read as long as u stop reading After chapter 26 bc imo after that it gets a bit repetitive and jumps the shark a bit and if u see the tags u might understand KJNSDFGKJNFDSD
but the very basics of it, is it's that two very bad people with a ton of truama learning to become better via each other <3. Also its weirdly disliked by a lot of portal fans for being... Abusive,,, which is hilarious considering both Wheatley and GLaDOS are canonical abusers who may regret their actions by the end sure but are still on some level very abusive people to Chell. I think that's also one of the reasons I love Gladley just bc it doesn't feel like Chell has to get into a relationship with these two people that canonically I think she's absolutely had enough of dealing with.
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martsonmars · 1 year
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desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe
#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study#am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more#than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it#it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since#my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i?#after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more?#i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm#supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic#and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did#absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the#hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester#and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to#study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't#so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to#actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing#but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days#it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life#right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts.#please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things#if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax#any other comment would make me feel worse#💖💖💖#**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer#and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i#said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)
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pepprs · 1 year
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if i could just get like 3 more hours of sleep every night. maybe even 2. i would be so powerful
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sherlock-is-ace · 11 months
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#god! why is having a meltdown the most embarrassing thing in the world? even a day later#i hate beeing aware of every single thought and feeling i'm feeling while not being able to put a finger on what it is#and also being aware of every feeling and thought people around me are probably having#and then not knowing what the fuck to do to stop them from acting angry at me or just not talking to me at all#i know seeing someone going completely insane is not a fun feeling for people but i'm not doing it on purpose#could we pretend it didn't happen when it's over?#it's not that i'm not telling you what's going on in a calmed manner because i hate you and want you to worry#i'm not talking because i CAN'T and even if i could I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING#i spent all day yesterday trying to avoid having a meltdown and when i finally failed#i was crying by myself in silence not bothering anyone#but of course my mom seeing me cry made my anxiety and embarrassement spike and then my brain was gone#so not being able to explain to her what was going on made HER upset with ME and i just couldn't deal with that so i had to go to sleep#but i woke up today and she's being so cold to me and i can't help but feel guilty because I KNOW it's because of me that she's like that#and there's nothing i can do about it#i want to apologize but i literally don't know what to pologize for cause i didn't do anything wrong?#i don't think i did? and what's the point of apologizing if i don't think i did something wrong?#i'm not going to be those people who say ''i'm sorry you feel this way'' cuase that's not an apology!#i fee like shit mentally. physically. emotionally AND have to deal with my mom acting angry and offended and cold#idk what to do#i should have stayed in bed#but no... i'm ranting on the internet#angel talks#personal
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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istg one of these days.......
#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game#one of my fave posts ever in the world#anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me#its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush 😭#ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that 😭😭#like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay#bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS#anyway my resolve weakens with every 😘 emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!!#its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought#so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy#but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr#itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST#i wouldnt do that to him god forbid#buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am#this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night#need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:|#its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves#i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good#ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone#muah all round#.diaries
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wabblebees · 2 years
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#rant incoming! tldr: im just complainin' bc im a dumbass playing with the new blorbos from my head but i SHOULD be asleep. oops#had brain fog + migraine + joint pain BAD all mcfucken day#to the point where i spent the last 11 hours just laying in bed being adhd miserable bc it Hurt to be awake but the understimulation had me#fuckt UP. i couldnt sleep to escape it bc i couldnt fucken relax my FACE enough to make my head stop hurting but i felt like i was going#full yellow-wallpaper lady in my own head bc through the brain fog + the headache i couldnt focus on anything stimulating or fun enough#and now. NOW. now that its 2am and the ibuprofen is FINALLY working. i cant sleep bc i have dnd brainrot#ive got all these fun ideas that i dont wanna forget so ive been scrambling to get them all down before i can#but also i SHOULD be SLEEPING. yet every time i lay down my brain's silly little lightbulb ''bing!''s Back On and im!! hoough!!#sooo fun thinkin abt it all but also... dude. u dont have a campaign or table or a party or ANYTHING. so W H Y do u gotta do this rn#whyyyy rn. all day i wanted this or sleep and got NEITHER. but!! oh sure nOw the brain worms are active.#i have WORK in the morning little brainworms. its 2am!! where were u at 6o'clock!! we coulda done all this t h e n#But Also. i am rotating these new lil fuckers in my head at mach speeds#im so fucken psyched for smth to happen with these ideas even though ik theres like. literally no way in hell for them to go anywhere lmao.#ive never dm'ed in my gd life hgkfshfkgk idk wtf im doing here. ive played in like. 2 canpaigns total. wtf is going ON lmao#goddamn. adhd my beloathed. ah well#also just realised the phrase 'blorbos from my head' probably sounds.... very very silly lmao#im typing this out bc im hoping doing smth slightly Different will break the brain cycle enough to let me Go Tf To Bed lmao#wish me luck lmaooo#bee speaks
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saintedbythestorm · 2 years
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Sure gotta love when people try to guilt trip you into seeing them.
Imma be honest, it just makes me want to see them less.
#yes manipulation tactics that the toxic half of the family would use all the time is absolutely going to change my mind#you'd think when this tactic has worked for years they'd realise it isn't working. but no.#maybe actually talk to me instead of just telling me who died or is sick every damn time and i want to talk??#nooooo gotta just sit and talk about how horrible everything is EVERY SINGLE TIME.#which is a great idea when the person you're talking to is already depressed and barely holding together 🙃#and if i do see them they get bored of me within like 20 minutes anyway and just walk off to watch tv#very worth all my energy for a few days as you can tell. 🙄#i just saw that the hasn't worked for years turned into has... too lazy to change it now. ty phone#like ffs i can't even be up on the right side of the day now a days ... just try and work with me instead??#maybe if you stop pushing and trying to make me feel bad all the time I'd called ages ago?#like I'm sorry but i ain't no therapist and you sure af ain't paying me so no i won't spend the little grain of energy i have on it#i hear enough of sickness death and misery every single fucking day... i do not need someone to put theirs on me too#and then expect me to constantly make them feel better about it. like i can't even describe how exhausting it is#and we tell em.... and they don't give a shit .#sorry for the rant but i just... i already felt so shit rn and now i get this too#like the past months stress that has ruined my brain ain't enough...or the super bad body ache ain't enough#or the super bad stomach isn't enough... or the lack of sleep and effed up day night cycle ain't enough#it's just.. i do not need this right now please stop... please stop..#i just stopped going 150% and pure survival the past 2 months.. don't start this shit now i literally cannot...#i am exhausted to a point I never thought possible... and it keeps going down cause it never let's up.#... i need a hug...#rant#ryder speaking
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poptartmochi · 2 years
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oh we are having a mental health Night girlies
#bugs cw#take me back to 1am when i was taking notes... the literal moment i finished that i learned about the supreme court's latest ruling#concerning states being able to take non-native people on native lands to trial which. 😔 it gets worse it truly gets worse every day#so that is the big serious issue of tonight. the smaller things are that after a few minutes of reading abt that‚ a mosquito attacked me😢#Mosquitos and I have a toxic relationship. the second i see one in my vicinity my paranoia goes craazy#but it was already past 1am 😢 i have work tomorrow 😢 thankfully I remembered we have mosquito spray so i put that on!#following this i went to brush my teeth and discovered these like ?? tiny ants?? are crawling through the cracked caulking in the shower 😀#so this was fun. more bugs! but I evaded a big 😀🌋 about that‚ and so i went to my room to go to bed. plain n shrimple :]#BUT THEN A BIG GNAT WAS IN MY ROOM 😭 and bc my phone was the only source of light it kept coming into my space. so! i became evil and#killed it. this is where the real clown shit begins. 😀🥴 the vengeance of god#so. the dead gnat is on my hand. i go into the bathroom to wash it off‚ and I notice my sister's door is open (we have a jack n jill#bathroom). I don't want the sound of the sink to wake her up so I go to close her door‚ and when I turn back around to Finally Wash the#Dead Bug on My Hand I Notice. THERE'S A GIANT COCKROACH ON THE COUNTER LIKE LITERALLY JUST SITTING THERE.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it was truly maybe the biggest one i have ever seen. so i do a little scream and jig away back into my room and the motherfucker goes!!#into the fucking cabinet beneath the counter! (where are all my sensitive skin medication is 😭😭). this is like too much for me at this#point so i become More Evil and call my mom over. but by the time she gets there the fucker has found some hole in the wall or something#because she can't find him!!! my despair is endless. SO. I stuffed a towel beneath my door but I don't think that'll stop it if it wants#to come into my room 🥲🥲 so. on top of the soul crushing fear about where my country is going rn‚ i also have mosquito cockroach paranoia#that said.. I don't think i will be sleeping tonight :]#sriracha.txt
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ouchhq · 7 months
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venting :-) sorry
#sh tw !!#i am so tired of my mother#last time i saw my therapist i talked about how she drives me insane but still i feel so guilty for getting mad at her because i know she#has issues and literally can not reason but i get so frustrated and exhausted#she took like 9 days off of work to ‘take care of me’ (her words) after my surgery and i didnt ask her to do one thing all these days excep#help me make food and come up with stuff for me to eat bc of my diet rn and thats all#she has been doing her thing all these days like literally just sleeping on the couch and going out with her friends and going shopping and#only made me food herself once (1) in over a week#and i didnt say anything bc i know i cant say anything to her if i dont want to get her to start screaming but today i couldnt take it#i was painting all morning because i am extremely stressed and anxious to make a fucking portfolio to find some work and idk what they thin#i do in my room all day probably sleep but i dont !! im up until 1:30 am working every day even now despite having just had my jaw cut into#pieces and stitched back together#and she went out to the post office for me for a second and then spent the rest of the morning shopping and came back at 12 and had the#audacity to get mad because i hadnt made any food for myself or for anyone else yet#when i literally called her just minutes before to ask her instructions on how to prepare a certain soup for myself and she told me to wait#because she was gonna do it instead#like ???????#and when i told her i had been busy working all morning and that the whole point of her being home from work was that she said she was gonn#make stuff for me she started screaming like an insane person that i was accusing her and it wasnt fair and i was mean and rude and that sh#does EVERYTHING for me and im ungrateful#and when i say my stomach sinks to the floor every time i hear her yelling#it is ingrained into my brain#i have nightmares about her tantrums and her yelling#im so tired#and it always ends with me getting the urge to hurt myself and i want to cry but i cant because my face hurts when i cry and i am not#allowed to blow my nose bc of my surgery so im just here. swallowing all of this once again
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romeoandromeo · 9 months
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings
#purrs#sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having#a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing#everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look#mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive#actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou#thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move#but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real#anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest#w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b#but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the#day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like#onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu#much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t#care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying#delete later#OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my#first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do#this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t#then go to counseling 🥳✌️
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