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#those are the only lyrics i can understand besides from LuCiFeR
matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
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Karaoke Cacophony
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: This song is legitimately the reason why I ended up posting the poll that I did lmao- but if you check the lyric translations- it oddly fits the vibe for both Vox and Reader. Though it's only going to embarrass our resident TV man since our dear (Y/N) has absolutely no idea what the song actually means. Just that it sounds nice and it's something they heard over the radio back then when growing up. Vox has a built-in google translate thing so he can understand others better no matter what language, it just so happens that this hits him like a double-edged sword where he has no idea if he would've been better off not understanding the song and just appreciating the melody of your voice. BTW this interlude features an HC I have for Vox where he cooks sometimes because the systematic way it's done helps calm him down, it's inspired by something I read before but yeah- ALSO ALSO- some part kind of features reader being cracked out of their minds with pickup lines I pulled from one of @voxsremotec0ck's posts LMAO.
A/N: Also my cousin has had a HEAVY hand to play in this song choice, though her reasoning was mostly because of Angel's initial comment that watching Vox and Reader's interactions were like seeing a romcom plot unfold live. So why not go a little bit off tangent and relate them to a romantic fairytale? I also may have sorta kinda written a lot of this chapter while I myself was on a hyperactive streak because of some caffeine- Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this interlude and as always- Happy Reading!
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After a while and back and forth of those games, you and Vox eventually stopped joining in despite the others still continuing to play.
You and your partner in crime had become preoccupied with laughing at memes or poking fun at whatever stupid trend was currently a fad online.
You were currently leaning against the technology overlord while he had one arm around you, the other using to poke at your phone every now and again.
The two of you were practically cuddling at this point from how close you both were but neither noticed nor even seem to care.
"They have the tidepod challenge too? Geez, people are kind of-"
"Idiotic? Stupid? Batshit crazy?"
"Pretty much."
"This is hell dollface, I'm not sure why you expected any different."
You just casually shrugged in reply, soon laughing at a dumb video you found whilst scrolling.
Vox couldn't help but subtly stare at you, especially when you seemed to be so cheerful just messing around or doing whatever.
Seeing your smile always made his day just a little bit brighter.
"Hey Vox! Stop being absolutely whipped for a second and help me out over here!"
The overlord in question just sputtered in confusion at Lucifer's words.
He wasn't whipped!
He just- admired you a lot.
Even you had raised eyebrows at the odd word choice, whipped- wasn't exactly what you would use to describe your flatscreen companion.
Not when you kind of had an inkling to what it meant.
"What are you even doing??"
Vox called back, finally taking his eyes off you and your phone to just look over in the kitchen's general direction.
Lucifer did mention about making a snack earlier, but why would the king of hell need his help of all people??
What was he planning this time???
"Something! Just get over here!!"
You just gave your companion a shrug when he looked back to you, encouraging him to just go and get it over with.
Besides, you guys could always just continue doing this and messing around when he was finished with... whatever Lucifer needed him for.
Well, that was until your brain immediately stomped on the brakes when you looked at Vox again.
He'd undone his cuffs to roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows, revealing some... bare forearms.
Before he just nonchalantly stood up and walked off towards the kitchen when the king of hell called for him again.
He didn't seem to have noticed your shattered mental-
You had dropped your phone at that point, just blinking and spacing out like an idiot before Angel noticed.
"Woaaah, what happened to (Y/N)?"
"Huh, I didn't think we'd ever see them actually speechless."
"Oooh oooh! Does that mean (Y/N) likes bad boys?!"
You shook your head in an attempt to snap out of it but couldn't stop the blush from creeping up your neck.
Oh. My. God.
You were completely in the gutter now-
Similarly to Alastor, you noticed Vox was always wearing long-sleeves or an outfit that concealed any skin at all.
And while it left you wondering what he had to hide, that consequently would lead you to imagine how he'd look like without a shirt on.
Was he just a mess of wires or something?
Did he conceal so much because he was robotic to a degree?
You had no clue how Vox's biology even worked and you didn't know how to ask without sounding weird.
Not to mention how he's able to wear some kinds of shirts given his obnoxiously sized head-
It's just curiosity is all!
You could only slap Angel's hands away when he started cautiously poking you, and you were practically steaming out of your ears from embarrassment.
It wasn't the fact that your flatscreened friend seemed to show some skin that set you off-
It was the fact your brain somehow went autopilot and registered it as HOT.
You were sure Velvette had fashioned him the outfit so it didn't surprise you that Vox looked all dapper and smart.
Dare you even say the fucking TV looked handsome-
You just didn't think he could look any better.
Until he did that.
And consequently nuked the rest of your sanity with it.
"Yep, they're totally broken-"
"Angel shut up before I beat you to death with a pillow I swear to god-"
"Oh good, you're finally reacting toots."
You merely flipped him the bird and just hid your face in your other hand, why was everything in your body trying to go on overdrive?!
"What's got you all blushy anyway? It's like you've just watched a racy porno."
"What?! No! I just- you- I don't even fucking know-"
Angel was about to continue poking at you before Lucifer and Vox finally returned.
Both chatting amiably while holding what seems to be a plate or two of treats and snacks.
So that's where they both went-
And that was when the spider noticed your gaze practically zero in on your techno-centric friend.
Ha, friend-
Yeah nobody in the hotel with half a brain believed that for even a second-
Though there didn't seem to be any differences with Vox-
His outfit was still the same, just his sleeves were...
Oh.
OH.
"WOW TOOTS YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING PRUDE OH MY GOD-"
You just shrieked incoherently at Angel and started whacking him with a couch cushion while everyone else kind of just watched you both confused.
Not to mention that you were pretty much a tomato from how red you've become.
The arachnid couldn't stop himself from just devolving into a loud laughing fit.
You had completely lost it because of some forearms, he could only imagine what your reaction would be if a certain technology overlord decided to undo some shirt buttons.
You'd probably just die on the spot!
"Uh... what happened?"
"No idea, but it sure as hell is entertaining."
By the time you were able to relatively calm down, you were still red when Vox just sat down next to you again.
"Soooo, any reason for trying to murder Angel with a pillow?"
"None that concerns you."
"Oh come on, it's gotta be something crazy if you don't tell even me."
You just adamantly shake your head and refuse to say anything no matter what Vox tried.
It was kind of cute seeing you try so hard, despite the fact the overlord knew he could always just ask the others about it later.
He didn't think it was anything too big, after all you would embarrassed by a lot of random things.
So he didn't even bother guessing at this point.
"What did you and Lucifer make anyway?"
"Hm? Chocolate strawberries, do you want some?"
"Seriously? That's what he needed help with?"
"I'm just as confused as you are doll, anyway- open your mouth."
Vox just chuckles when you shyly follow his instructions, forcing himself to look away before grabbing one of the strawberries and placing it into your mouth.
He'd be lying if he said the way you looked didn't give him other ideas.
You seeming insanely kissable being just one of them.
While the overlord knew making the treat consumed more time than just going out and probably buying it-
Seeing your eyes sparkle when you bit down made him consider that it was a little more worth it to put in that extra homemade touch.
"Didn't pin you for a guy that could cook."
You remarked, taking the plate from him and just eagerly chowing down.
Vox just chuckled, watching you so happily munch away.
You were just really cute in your own little way, not that he would ever say so.
Especially when you seemed so pleased at just such a simple snack.
"I'm not surprised, I don't exactly... have that vibe? I can cook though, it's something I do on the off chance to calm down."
"And still you eat that McDonald's garbage-"
"It's not garbage! I'm just too busy to actually cook sometimes! Running a media empire isn't easy dollface."
"The next time you do cook, I wanna try your food."
"Hm? What makes you say that?"
"Dunno, just wanna try it."
The overlord simply raised an eyebrow at you, though he didn't seem to mind your words much.
And as you scarfed down on the strawberries, he noticed a smear of chocolate streaking across your cheek.
How it got there- Vox wasn't entirely sure.
Possibly from your enthusiastic eating but he didn't really care enough at the moment to find out.
"Wait, you've got some chocolate on your face."
You looked at your companion with wide eyes when he gingerly raised a hand to wipe at your face.
The way his gaze was both calm and focused at you made your heart skip a beat.
The plate of treats in front of you now mostly forgotten.
"There. Didn't think you'd be such a messy eater doll."
He didn't seem to notice your mind kind of stall, picking up a chocolate strawberry himself to eat it.
It was a little too sweet for his taste, which was odd considering his already innate knack for deserts.
You seemed to like it though, so he didn't say anything.
And that was when Vox also noticed your more than obvious staring.
You weren't even trying to hide it were you?
Admittedly, the overlord got a little embarrassed because of it.
"Take a picture darling, it'll last longer."
"Nah, I think I would much rather look at the real thing. A picture can only do so much."
You smirked when you saw his screen proceed to tinge pink, especially when you heard his fans kick to life.
He never could get the upper hand with you, which was hilariously cute in it's own way.
It didn't take long for you to eventually get used to Vox's charm over the while you've known him.
Even if at times it would strike you when you least expected it.
You simply went back to snacking contentedly.
After a short while, all the treats were gone and you were practically bouncing off the walls with energy.
So what did you do with that sugar rush?
Absolutely torment and flirt the life out of Vox.
Slamming pickup line after pickup line into his already preoccupied mind space.
Well it was preoccupied with you to begin with but let's not mention that-
"Hey Vox- Hey Vox- Hey Vox-"
"What is it dollface?"
"Do you have a bandaid?"
"No...? Why?"
"Because I think I scraped my knee falling for you!"
He buffered a little bit but just played off being flustered with a scoff.
The rest of the hotel crew were not so subtly watching all of this go down just waiting for your overlord friend to crack.
Angel and Husker already made bets on how fast he would go down glitching -
"That was horrible."
"Nah nah nah wait I got another one-"
The overlord didn't really mind it at first, aside from the fact he was a little surprised.
Until the point it got so stupidly suggestive and then he actually had trouble dealing with the provocative ideas he got from you.
"You know, I'm just gonna start calling you my big toe."
"Your... what??"
"My big toe, so I can bang you all over the place."
The overlord had to actually ignore the snickering and hushed laughter from your spectators, why were you doing this to him of all people?!
Though as horrible as the pickup lines were, Vox would be lying if he said they weren't hitting their mark.
He was just... a little better at hiding it.
And that wasn't even the end of your tomfoolery-
Actually far from it.
Vox made a mental note to watch out for your sugar rush episodes from this point onwards.
You weren't ever this bad from what he could remember either-
Well, you would just blitz through nearly everything during a hyperactive episode before the impending sugar crash.
But never tried to flirt the socks off him!
"Are you a fitted sheet?"
"A fitted sheet? What's that got to do with-"
"Cuz you're complicated as fuck but I still need you spread across my bed."
Vox stared at you wide-eyed for a whole ass second-
Before his screen predictably started showing errors and he glitched uncontrollably.
Angel just keeled over from laughter at that point when the overlord's face went absolutely haywire.
He didn't quite bluescreen, but his screen did buffer and spazz a whole lot for a minute or so.
To which you just celebrated and cheered.
"HELL YEAAAAH! I BROKE HIM IN FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!"
That just made your arachnid friend laugh even harder.
You were an unbridled chaotic ball of energy hyped up on sugar-
But Charlie- being Charlie-
Felt a little bad for Vox being the target of your madness- and stepped in and try to direct your hyperactivity elsewhere.
However, because she had done it on a whim- she actually had no ideas what to do with you.
So she just randomly suggested karaoke.
Which seemed to get your attention anyway.
When Vox finally came crashing back into reality, he was surprised to see both you and Lucifer just tormenting a very staticky and clearly very irritated Alastor.
"YOU'RE A LOOOOSER BAMBI- A LOOOOSER-"
What even was that song?
"Huh, you were out for a while."
"What- did I miss something?? What happened?"
"Your hyperactive lover just being a menace to Alastor, other than that nothing much."
"They're not my-"
"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that."
Vox doesn't even have the opportunity to fully retort before you suddenly ran over to him with a grin.
Apparently you noticed he was fine again-
This time he was just the slightest bit worried.
You were literally shaking from the sugar rush- oh goodness-
"Oh good you're awake! I wanted to show you something!"
Vox didn't have the option to refuse when you just dragged him over to the couch and plopped him down next to everyone else.
"Okay okay! There's this song I used to listen to because I loved the melody and how nice it sounded but I actually have no idea what it means because it's not in English and-"
Safe to say the overlord spaced out during your rambling, only picking up the important bits of your spiel.
Which TL;DR, was just that you had a song you wanted to sing but didn't actually understand.
He only snapped out of his trance when he finally heard your voice slow down to the soft piano melody.
Well, the words you were saying definitely weren't in English-
So Vox secretly decided to translate what you were saying.
Having the internet being an extension of his conscious mind was a little bit of advantage here.
Then he figured out what the lyrics were.
And almost crashed again.
"I've forgotten how long it's been since I heard you telling me, your favorite story~"
He didn't really know whether his curiosity was a good or bad thing here.
Especially when it hit him that this was a love song.
The overlord was absolutely not prepared for this at all.
"I have been thinking for a long time, I started to panic."
Sure, the lyrics weren't exactly a fit to you-
But for him?
Especially when you had still been alive?
A 100% coincidental match.
Or he thinks it's mere coincidence.
"Have I done something wrong~?"
Oh god no do not look at him like that-
Nope nope nope nope-
It took every ounce of control for Vox to just not crash again right then and there.
"You said to me full of tears: 'Fairy tales are all lies.'"
You'd memorized the song, so it made sense that you didn't need to look at the lyrics to sing.
But could you seriously stop looking at him so fondly?
You didn't even know the words you were saying, this was so unfair.
"I couldn't possibly be your prince."
That just made him think back on all the past times he was trying to be... "friendly".
Well, almost borderline romantic even when he was willing to throw down nearly everything for your sake if you so much as asked.
Not that you noticed, Vox doubted you ever would even if it slapped you in the face.
"Perhaps you won't understand- ever since you said you loved me!"
Angel just smirked when he heard the signature whirring of computer fans.
Though he wasn't sure if it was because the overlord got flustered from your singing or because he understood.
Well, it wasn't his problem-
Because it was downright hilarious how insanely oblivious you were.
"The stars in my sky shine brightly!"
Where you were concerned, that was always the case.
Not at the start of course-
But it became adamantly clear when Vox found himself eager to see what kind of chaos you would stir up next.
"I'm willing to become the angel of the fairytale that you love-"
You extended your hand out to him, a silent invite to the tech overlord asking to dance.
He chuckled and smiled at you.
Of course he'd take up that offer.
"Spread up my hands that become wings to protect you~"
The two of you just swayed and danced around to the melody, becoming engrossed once more in your own little world.
You didn't even know what you were singing, but judging by the fond look Vox had directed at you-
It seemed he was enjoying it.
So you continued to indulge him.
"You have to believe, believe that we can be like in the fairy tale!"
You blushed a little bit when he'd twirled you around, after all-
You'd never really danced like this before.
It was like a... different kind of waltz.
Still, it made you feel so dainty.
His gaze just made you feel like the most beautiful thing in the world.
"Happy and joyful in the ending~"
The rest of your friends were amused seeing the two of you pretty much being the plot to a convoluted romcom.
Especially when they realized you and Vox kind of forgot they were actually there.
Charlie thought your relationship was endearingly cute-
Vaggie just reacted like her theory had been entirely confirmed.
Alastor felt like it was kinda disgusting-
And Lucifer nearly decked him for trying to ruin your moment.
Angel, Husker and Nifty were busy placing bets on who between the either of you would confess to the other first.
Though by the time the song ended, everyone couldn't help but groan or facepalm.
"Soooo- how'd I do?"
"It's okay, I'd say there's still room for lots of improvement."
"Oh fuck you Vox-"
"Like you'd ever actually go through with that."
"HA- don't try me you slutty-waisted lanky TV-"
"I've been called worse by better, get creative!"
You were both fucking idiots.
And at this point-
It was like your romantic dance hadn't even happened at all.
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midnightsunnyday · 3 years
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The Brothers reacting to MC randomly doing a sexy dance for them
Some slight NSFW under the cut.
Lucifer
You should know better than to disturb him with something so foolish, yet that doesn't stop you from entering his study, apparently.
"Hello, MC. Is there something you need?" He says, not once taking his eyes off his work.
You press the play button on your Bluetooth speaker and begin to dance. His eyes widen, hand held to his chest.
Don't get him wrong. As a demon, he's far from being a prude. He just wasn't expecting you to be so...flexible in your movements.
But what is it with humans comparing their privates to food? Macaroni in a pot? For Diavolo's sake.
Was going to reprimand you, but his mind is obviously on something else now.  
*sighs* "I never knew how needy you were for my attention. Whatever should I do to address such naughty behavior?"
 Mammon
Immediately assumes you're up to something, yet invites you into his room.
As soon as the music starts, his ears perk up. Could it be you just wanted to listen to your human music with him? Well, if it's quality time his human wanted, then it's quality time you'd get.
"Oh yeah, I know this song. It's actually pretty popular in the clubs…here..."
When you start to dance, he's completely frozen in place.
He also forgets to breathe for about three minutes.
Is this going to turn into a strip tease? Please let it turn into a strip tease.
Damn, you kept your clothes on.
Slaps himself in the face to regather his composure.
Tries to play it cool, but is burning all over.
"You b-better not dance like this for anyone else. Now uh...can ya do that again?"
Leviathan
Honestly, he wasn't sure why you'd even visit him. Maybe you had his room mistaken for one of his other brothers?
But when you insist that yes, you're here to see him, he can't help but blush.
Inviting you in, he begins to ramble, a bad habit of his when he's excited.
"What should we do first? Video games? There's this campaign going on that I'd like to play with you. What about anime? We could watch the new season of...wait, what are you doing with your...Asdfghjkl."
Leviathan has experienced a critical system failure.
He could feel his soul ascended from his body, only to smack back into him a few seconds later. Gasping for air he looks at you with widen eyes.
You killed him, you monster. What did he do to deserve such torture?
The lyrics are so suggestive and the dancing, it sends his thoughts racing to places he'd be too embarrassed to act on.
Once you finish, he sits there, unable to gather his words.
"D-don’t you ever d-do that to me a-again."
He's lying, of course. Please surprise him with sexy dances more often.
Asmodeus
When you enter his room, he's busy admiring himself in the mirror.
Noticing you in the reflection, he smiles. "Oh, MC, how are you? Have you come to admire my beauty?"
When you turn on the music, however, Asmodeus squeals with glee.
*jolts from his chair* "Oh my forsaken God, I love this song.”
I mean, come on, this is him we're talking about.
He even tried to have a pole installed in his room for such occasions. Lucifer stopped him, of course.
Has no issue with dancing with you, performing moves that were borderline sex acts.
Disappointed when the song ends. You didn't think one dance would satisfy him, did you?
"Don't tell me you're already tired? Let's take this to The Fall. I want to dance with you all night long."
Satan
Like always, is deeply invested in a book when you enter his room.
"Yes, MC. Is there something you need?"
Like Lucifer, he instantly recognizes your presence, yet doesn't bother to look up from his book, until he hears the music.
Now, Satan considers himself to be a very open-minded demon.
However, he was not prepared for such...colorful lyrics.
He also wasn't prepared for you being so flexible in your dancing, which causes an unfortunate response in a place he'd rather keep hidden under his book.
Isn’t sure whether he should be angry at you interrupting him or aroused.
When you finish, he clears his throat, clearly flustered.
"Is this your way of teasing me? I can't deny that it's working."
 Beelzebub
Contrary to popular belief, he does have other hobbies besides eating.
But for now, he was doing his weekly workout routine in the common room.
"Hey, MC. Wanna do...a few push ups... together?" He says between breaths.
Doesn't bother to stop his workout when you begin to dance, offering a few doe-eyed blinks in return.
Though he doesn't understand why he's becoming so flustered. Is it your dancing that's bothering him?
Has already missed count about 10 times.  
Is a bit peeved about his workout being disrupted, but knows how you'll make it up to him.
Gets up to turn off your music and motions you over to him.
“How about I show you a real workout?”
And by real workout, he means using you as a weight for 1 hour.
Oh? You thought he meant something else? Not so fun being teased, is it, MC?
Though he isn’t entirely opposed to the idea. 
 Belphegor
Was preparing himself for his designated fourth nap of the day, when you came in speakers blazing and having what he assumed was a seizure in your ass.
Is irritated, really. You were doing a bit too much for him.
Hello, Avatar of Sloth, here? Can you wrap this up?
Furthermore, the women in your song are way too demanding. There's no way he could perform all those acts without getting tired.
For a while, he watches you in silence.
*shakes his head* “Was that some kind of human mating dance? Are you really that desperate for my attention that you would resort to such a display?" *tucks himself under his covers and shoos you away* “Just say you want to have sex with me and go.”
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castielstiddies · 3 years
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Okay so I'm balling over this goddamn song and destiel and I need to let you all know why so here it is: An Analysis of the Lyrics and Why They Fit Destiel Perfectly.
I just want to point out that Andrew Rannells (Whizzer) and Christian Borle (Marvin) perform this perfectly and I love them.
This is a very long post so be warned before you press that button.
It's important to have context so we can connect these two pairings together properly and bring more meaning out of this song like it deserves. So the main part of the synopsis says:
"Marvin, after Whizzer’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Whizzer has changed his life. Whizzer’s spirit come back, dressed as he was in the first scene, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."
Now let me just change some words here and we'll see how we all feel:
"Dean, after Cas’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Cas has changed his life. Cas’s spirit come back, dressed in his trenchcoat, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."
Are you crying yet? Don't worry we haven't even seen the lyrics yet.
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"[MARVIN]" Now I'd like to start off by saying that Marvin has been with both men and women and he's struggled with his own internalized homophobia and has found it difficult to openly love Whizzer throughout the show. The parallels are clear between Marvin and Dean.
"What would I do If I had not met you?" You can think of this two ways. One - What would Dean have done if Cas had not met him in Hell and saved him? Still getting tortured or more likely torturing others, an experience that he hated and wished to never live through again. The second (and I think better) way to think of this line is, when Dean met Cas on earth. How meeting Cas changed his life forever, opening him up to a whole new world of having someone who thought that he deserved to be saved and who gave up an entire army for him. Who proved his love and loyalty to him time and time again. So what would Dean have done if he had never met Cas on Earth? What if Cas never reached out to him after saving Dean from Hell? A little bit later in this verse Marvin sings...
"There are no answers"
...in regards to this question. Because there really are no answers to what would Dean have done without Cas because we simply can't imagine it. The same goes for Dean. Cas has changed his life so much that it's impossible to imagine what his life would be like without Cas.
"Who would I blame my life on?" When Christian Borle delivers this line on stage it's said with a small, sad laugh. Similar to how Dean uses humour to hide his feelings, Marvin does too.
"Once I was told That all men get what they deserve Who the hell then threw this curve?" Despite everything Cas has done wrong, Dean and all of us know that Cas did not get what he deserved when the Empty took him. We believe he deserved to be happy with Dean and Dean thinks so too.
"There are no answers But who would I be If you had not been my friend?" The word 'friend' here is what really ties it to Dean for me because they were friends first, they helped eachother through thick and thin before love started to seep in as well. Sure there was attraction from the beginning but it's about the fact that Dean's only shown to have one true, close best friend, and that's Cas.
"You're the only one One out of a thousand others Only one my child would allow" Alright so this line I did struggle to link to destiel, I was thinking about Jack and Claire but they're Cas's children. But what if we think of the 'child' as Sam. Dean raised Sam so it's easy to see him as his 'child' and it's important to Dean that Sam accepts the people that he's friends with. This is even more important with Cas because Dean may want to have a relationship with him in the future and also Cas lives in the bunker... with them. Dean definitaly needs Sam's permission if he wants Cas to live in their home. It's clear that Cas and Sam are the people Dean cares about the most and to have Sam 'allow' Cas to stay in their home and share their space is something that's really important to Dean.
"When I'm having fun You're the one I wanna talk to" Cue every gif of Dean smiling while hanging out with Cas or talking to Cas over the phone.
"Where have you been?" Where has Cas been for all of Dean's life? He completes Dean, builds up his self-confidence and assures him that he is wanted, needed and important. Just where has Cas been for all of Dean's life?
"Where are you now? So on this note there's a beautiful key change into the next part and it just makes it so much more profound. (Also Dean has no gosh darn clue where Cas is, who tf is the Empty?)
"Who would I be If I had not loved you?" This moment is fucking beautiful. It's Dean finally speaking his truth and telling Cas, wherever he is, that he loved him. He loved Cas and that changed him for the better, made him into the person he is today.
"How would I know what love is?" Dean has never been told so openly and honestly by anyone about how he is important, he's worthwhile and that he deserves to live a happy and full life, no one has done that besides Cas. No one has shown their loyalty and love to him in the most blatant and profound ways possible, giving up an entire army, rebelling against their own family, sticking by his side no matter what. Staying. How would Dean know what true love is without Cas constantly showing him what love means and what it feels like be loved fully and truly. Of course Dean has experienced love before, he's been in at least 2 other relationships (that I can think of off of the top of my head) but he's never felt love like the way he does with Cas.
"God only knows, too soon I'll remember your faults Meanwhile, though, it's tears and schmaltz" Of course as Dean relives memories of Cas, he'll be reminded of all of his faults, all of the things he did wrong even when he thought that what he was doing was right (Leviathians, Lucifer). But for now, Dean will breakdown and cry and grieve but most of all he'll remember Cas and how much he loved him.
"[WHIZZER]" Alright so Whizzer is a character who has never been shy about his sexuality, about how much he likes being with men. Similar to Cas who simply doesn't understand why people hide who they're attracted to until Dean came along and taught him differently.
"All your life you've wanted men" I like to think that this line applies to both Cas and Dean and I'll explore that with the next two lines.
"And when you got it up to have them Who knew it could end your life?" This is getting a bit meta now. When Dean was so very close to finally speaking his truth on screen, he died. (And in some versions he does speak his truth but that's another story). There was no reason for Dean to die in the finale, who knew that when he finally shared that he loved another man he would be killed for no reason two episodes later.
This line can also be in reference to Cas's experience. When Cas was finally able to tell Dean that he loved him, when he finally gained to courage to not only share his feelings but also to have his happiness ripped away from him, he died. Dean and Cas both knew what was going to happen when Cas said those words. It wasn't a surprise, yet it still felt like one.
"[MARVIN] I left my kid and left my wife" This is the moment when I could not stop crying and thinking about destiel when listening to this song. Dean left Lisa and (totally not) his son in season 5.
"To be with you" Of course it's a little bit of a stretch to say that Dean left Lisa and Ben solely for Cas (expecially since I think Dean realised his love for Cas in Season 7-8 so the timeline wouldn't make sense for me) but I like to think of this line from the perspective of Dean grieving Cas and looking back on how Cas changed his life. Of course he would remember that he left Lisa and Ben in order to be with Cas because that was 10 years ago and the memory is now muddled with grief, time and his now unwavering love for Cas. "To be insulted by such handsome men" This line just reminds me of the scene in the car when Cas and Dean are arguing (you know what I'm on about)
"[WHIZZER] Do you regret—?" Cas is asking Dean, do you regret loving me? Do you regret letting me into your life? Do you regret our friendship? It's beautiful to think that Cas feels vulnerable in this moment, he thinks that Dean regrets letting him into his life.
"[MARVIN] I'd do it again I'd like to believe that I'd do it again And again and again..." Now Dean's the one to build Cas back up, to assure him that he does not regret a thing. He's building up Cas's confidence and supporting him just like Cas has been doing for Dean.
"And What more can I say? [WHIZZER] What more can I say?" They're both lost for words, what do they say now? They know that they love eachother and they know that they won't be able to be together because of Cas's deal. What do you say in that situation?
"[MARVIN] How am I to face tomorrow?" Dean still has to continue living, without Cas. In 15x19 he's drowning himself in beer as he grieves the loss of Cas. How can he face tomorrow after Cas has confessed his love for him and then died in a matter of minutes? How can he face tomorrow knowing that saying that he loves Dean, that by having Dean know that someone loves him, is the happiest moment Cas has ever felt?
"[BOTH] After being screwed out of today" Haha screw...
"Tell me what's in store" They're still looking to eachother for guidance and support despite the distance between them.
"[MARVIN] Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow" Dean's turning to things that he can control in order to deal with his grief. Despite the finale ending I think it's widely accepted in the Destiel fandom that Dean would work night and day until he got Cas back from the empty.
"If I could hold you for One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [MARVIN] One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [BOTH] One hour, one hour more" Now that they know that they both love eachother, that they could have had everything they wanted if they just told one another. They're begging all of the higher powers that there are that they could enjoy what could have been for one hour. Simply relishing in the fact that they are happy and in love and that they are both wanted.
"[MARVIN] What would I do [WHIZZER] What would I do [MARVIN] If I had not seen you? [WHIZZER] If I had not seen you? [BOTH] Who would I feast my eyes on?" Once again I'm just thinking about the idea of that 'one hour more' and how they would constantly compliment one another and freely look at each other without shame or embarrassment and to just allow themselves to have everything that they wanted.
"Once I was told That good men get better with age [MARVIN] We're just gonna skip that stage" This can be seen two ways, one is that Cas simply cannot age and Dean is once again using humour to hide his grief. Or my favourite version which is that Dean never got to grow old with Cas, (I strongly believe that Cas would allow his vessel to grow old with Dean). Dean wanted to live a normal life, he wanted to get a job and stop hunting but most of all he wanted to grow old with Cas.
If you watch the live version of this song here: https://youtu.be/ZscL4LOLP7Y
You'll hear how Christian Borle's voice cracks when delivering this line. The rest of the lyrics are repeats of lines that I've already covered.
And I'm done boys. Thank you for sticking with this very very long post but I needed to get this out somewhere.
I highly recommend watching Falsettos for yourself if you want to get a better insight into how Marvin/Whizzer and Destiel compare or if you just like the look of it.
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obeymematches · 4 years
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🌸Yo... umm, I'd like to request a matchup (I think they're open, also I'm SO sorry if this turns into a vent at some point, I don't really have anyone I'm close with so a lot of stuff gets built up), I'm pretty average, 5'5, short blonde hair, freckles all over the place (1/5)
🌸 I love learning, it can be about anything, cultures, history, science, geography, people, phenomena, new skills, anything. I also love art and theatre. I do a lot of stage management for our theatre. I like spending time with animals of any kind and training my dog (my fur baby's so smart!). 🌸I think my absolute favorite thing is music, I love listening to it and I love singing just as much if not more (I'm really good at it too, probably the only thing I'm good at) singing is also my way to stim so it's pretty common for me to randomly break into song like I'm in a musical. 🌸so my adhd causes me to have really strong emotional dysregulation, as of now the only way I can prevent an outburst is by not letting anything out to prevent me from letting too much, by no means is this healthy but it's the only way I can do it. This (and a couple other things) means that it takes me a long tim to open up to other's about my worries and emotions. 🌸On a brighter side, when I'm no longer worried about driving others away because of my issues, I'm very curious, playful, and sensitive to other's feelings. I become more comfortable with cracking jokes and speaking up. I begin to even just worry a lot less. 🌸6(I can't believe I forgot this part). I don't like feeling restricted or controlled so a problem with friendships and relationships is that as soon as the other person learns about me having adhd, they (probably subconsciously) try to parent me, when I only told them about it because I trusted them to understand my experience and perspective. When those of my age parent me it always feel like they're being condescending to me and see me as dumb just because I process things differently
Hi! 
Thank you for sending in a request and i’m sorry i’m so late! I hope you like the result! 
I think I know what you mean, so some candidates that are not likely to parent you or control you are Mammon, Asmo, possibly Diavolo, and maybee Beel? 
I decided to choose Asmo for you! 
imo your general appearance is unique so he is probably going to notice that in a good way
You like to learn a lot but we don’t really know anything about his learning habits, however he will definitely adore you because you are smart and you can talk to anyone 
Definitely appreciates the fact that you work at a theatre! theres something so dramatic about it! 
it’s probably him and Lucifer who have a thing for people who can and will sing! Asmo will most likely duet you if he knows the lyrics (or even if he doesn’t, he just feels like singing) 
Expect to go out to karaoke bars so he can show you off to the whole bar!! 
I think he is rather open with his emotions. I haven’t finished the new lessons yet but as far as i’m concerned we don’t really see any sad monologue with him about his past. sure he has his flaws but it’s not like he shows that he is bothered by them, you know? 
However self-care is a huge thing with him, so if anything he will probably suggest you some amazing tips to do that. Hopefully that doesn’t come off as parenting you. Like he can surprise you with gifts or invite you out to shopping, to bars, wear skin-care masks, paint nails, or prepare a nice bath with roses but like thats not parenting in my definition, and hopefully the result would be amazing.
Oh he would definitely support you opening up and cracking jokes, and encourage you to worry much less because you are an amazing person to hang out with! 
So he would definitely help you be yourself and express yourself via your appearance. In addition he would also make sure you also love yourself (and him).From this relatioonship you can expect lots of cuddles and etc, besides that you hang out  a lot too doing the variety of the things I mentioned above. Regarding emotions, sadly he is not really all that well written but I think he can understand your point and make sure you’re comfy with him. 
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juminsfakecat · 4 years
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q&a by @oootomehell ✨ under the cut!
1. Which of the Boys are they most like?
Satan, because they’re both cat-like. Independent, doesn’t like to be touched easily, and a bit chaotic in their interest/hobbies but relatively calm and centered. They both also really like cats!
2. Which of the Boys are they least like?
Probably Asmo. Asmo’s touchy-feely attitude is something she struggles with herself. It takes her a while to be comfortable with somebody, and physical contact isn’t easy for her to initiate. She eventually... just gives up since usually she’s being yanked in random directions (and maybe she likes a hand to hold when things get scary).
3. Who does your MC date?
Belphie. Kind of happens by accident. Usually, she enjoys managing the chaos for Lucifer, but napping with Belphie became a bad habit to break. His careful yet honest approach is something that speaks with her well.
4. How does your MC sleep?
On her stomach and face flat into the pillow. She’s also a very quiet but heavy sleeper. They thought she was dead a few times during the first weeks. Nowadays, it’s usually Belphie flipping her over to make sure she’s breathing properly like a human should.
5. A song to describe your MC and why?
Mother Tongue by BMTH.
I know it’s a love song (technically), but it’s to no one in particular~ I heard the song and I thought the personification of it would be really interesting. It’s a heavy song, but the lyrics are actually sweet and loving and self-aware. It’s saying ‘I love you’ without needing to actually say it... and that’s what I wanted her to be, especially with the backstory of the shrine/etc. Someone empathetic and understanding, even when she’s not in her own world.
Honestly, I wanted a more masculine/tough character, but with the game and its concept and dynamics, being emotionally intelligent is a strong point. Plus, I didn’t want to have a grander sense than her being human, I guess. There’s demons, angels, and a wizard! I think there’s something profound in being a mortal human being who doesn’t have the time to do whatever they want, or the power to try to seek for more.
6. Did they come from a religious family/are they religious?
Not necessarily religious, but definitely spiritual. Kind of believes everything has a soul, and that there’s worlds that exist outside of hers. Not that shocked that demons or angels existing, but surprised they have physical forms and politics when she enters Devildom. Her family runs a shrine for fertility and home, so she believed in spirits.
7. What do they think about the whole Angels/Demons stuff?
Besides the previous answer, kind of was more surprised at the angels than the demons existing. Demons/bad spirits is something that’s always emphasized in her life and her parents’ teachings of finding goodness; but the opposite, positive figure is something she didn’t think much of. She always believed good karma came from cosmic intervention. To know there’s actual figures brings her some comfort. She likes being called a little lamb.
(The demons get annoyed that she isn’t as impressed with them~ Mammon always brings up the fact that they were angels once~)
8. Your MC’s relationship with their family?
Coming from a family that runs a traditional shrine, she’s often misunderstood because she likes modern thinking, technology, and fashion. Because of this, she hasn’t been close with her parents for a few years, as they wish she’d have a more conservative look (and outlook) for the integrity of their livelihood and family tradition.
She still respects those things, but currently, she’s living in the city. Strangely enough, she was taking a nap on the train when she got transported into Devildom and got told she would be a student.
9. What are your MC’s chances of survival if they got lost in the levels of Devildom? (AKA the levels of Hell).
Absolutely terrible! Less because of her actual resourcefulness, more because she extremely content anywhere she goes. If you backed her into a corner, instead of fighting back, she would make a home there... (When the demons at RAD threaten to eat her up, all she does is stand there and wait. It gives Mammon a headache as she comes off as easy prey.)
10. Is your MC jealous/upset about not being able to use magic? Do they learn?
She, honestly, does not care for it. She’s very much fine with being a powerless human, and minding her business. She thinks Satan’s books are interesting and Solomon’s power is something to look out for; but she wouldn’t seek to empower herself unless she was ordered to.
Honestly, I really liked the idea of her and Solomon being different from one another; and them being put separately with angels and demons are meant to teach them something/influence them in a positive manner. Because of this, I didn’t think it mattered if she practiced magic, especially with pacts being powerful as they are.
11. What was your MC’s first impression of the demon boys?
Together, she was well aware that they all had strong personalities and that living with them was always going to be a bit much... more than she’s used to. Individually, it’s a different case with a different boy.
Lucifer was uptight. Mammon was childish. Levi was awkward. Satan was to himself. Asmo was... Asmo. Beel was tall, and Belphie was sad.
As for Diavolo and Barbatos, she thought they were both charming in their own respective ways.
Now that she’s gotten to know all of them, however, her opinion has changed tremendously for everyone.
12. First impression of Angels & Solomon?
Angels were intriguing. Again, she didn’t think they would exist! Luke reminds her of children coming to the shrine, and Simeon seemed very innocent.
Solomon, on the other hand, is probably the only one she didn’t have much a grasp on yet. She just instantly felt they had different motivations.
13. What is a skill your MC has that the Boys would be surprised by?
In the human world, she’s built a career (outside of the shrine) by building computers, especially gaming ones for professional players. One night, she took apart her D.D.D. to see how it works and they found in interesting to watch her put it back together.
It’s this skill that taught Lucifer she’s much more calculated than she appears, and taught Levi that he’s living with a 24/7 IT service.
14. Do they own a secret place for their most prized possessions?
She taking a nap on the train with her work bag + suitcase when she woke up in Devildom. Diavolo provided her a bookbag when they sent her uniform, so she keeps little things she’s collected during her stay in the work bag. She tried to leave things in her suitcase, but Mammon had no problem going through it and messing with her things.
15. What’s the most important thing they own?
She has a couple of silk omamori from her parents, wishing her luck in her adventures. She received them when she moved out, and kept them preciously since they weren’t on good terms when she left. She considers it both sacred and sentimental since she’s been fortunate since having them. They sort have become her good luck charms.
16. Do they eat strange demon food?
As long as it’s safe for human consumption, then she isn’t one to decline food prepared by another person. However, if it’s not her taste, then she doesn’t mind giving her portion to Beel. She tries hard to not eat just human food while she’s in a new place, but some things just aren’t safe. Satan really helps her out by giving her facts from his books.
Mammon found out one night that she ate cans of tuna (because that’s her favorite), and he may have dragged her into working in Hell’s Kitchen for a night or two... and he may have shared her earnings in getting her tuna cans to store in room for when she gets hungry. (Truth be told, they were concerned when her small frame seemed to getting smaller.)
17. Favorite part of being in Devildom?
The fact that there’s not a sun. She usually sleeps during the day (her favorite is napping by open windows with a lot of sunlight) so she can work at night. It being night 24/7 makes her feel energetic and productive. She really didn’t notice how much she slept in the human world until she came (and news flash, it was more than she needed!)
18. What does your MC miss most about the human world?
Seafood! It’s a hassle to import human goods, and a bigger mess bringing in human food. She really misses being able to go walk down the street and get sashimi. (And okay, she misses her parents too, but that’s complicated.)
19. What does MC spend most of their time doing/with who?
She likes reading the books Satan loans her in Lucifer’s room when he’s working on papers, since his couch is comfortable and the other brothers don’t bother her. Until then, she’s usually being dragged into whatever they’re doing that day. She really doesn’t mind as long as they’re back by curfew. If she’s not being dragged anywhere, usually she’s with Belphie.
20. How does your MC wear their RAD uniform?
Coat open, black turtleneck dress underneath, and black boots. She’s usually wearing some kind of dress underneath since it’s easier to slip on. Diavolo doesn’t mind if she opts out the uniform, but she wears the jacket out of respect. It’s kind of long on her like a lab coat.
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three-eyed-doe · 7 years
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what's new pussycat is to that diner as sympathy for the devil is to my moms radio
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hiscoregirlxx · 6 years
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Devilman: Crybaby - review
I have to tell you in advance, that I have never written a review on any anime, so be gentle with criticism.
Devilmen: Crybaby, the fresh and crispy Netflix anime took 200 minutes of my life, but I would never swap it for anything. I managed to finish it yesterday midnight and I'm still in catharsis, in a completely different state of mind than I usually am after experiencing art.
In medias res, I will talk about the flaws I have discovered in the series, because there are way less of these, than positive features.
1. The foreshadowing in the first episode was a bit too obvious, especially for the eyes of a person who was brought up in a Christian family and has detailed knowledge about the Bible. I think it is only a minor mistake, and if we take the framed structure of the anime into consideration, it comes out beautifully in the end, and makes it a very well thought out, in a way lyrical story.
2. In my opinion the usage of the name "Satan" was not the best option. The original name of Satan in the Bible is Lucifer, which means "bringer of light". This name would have given Ryo's character an additional dimension, and I'm a bit sad that the writer (Go Nagai) did not exploit this opportunity.
3. The most frequently mentioned flaw of the series is the somewhat dumb implementation of the change in posessed characters' appearance and personality. But if we consider the character design and the entire aesthetic of by the anime, the harsh changes in appearances can be overlooked. Furthermore it was a crucial to understand the complex nature of people possessed by demons who have previously been completely pure. It helps the viewer comprehend the message that we all are "devilman" with flaws and evil features besides having a human heart that is capable of producing an entire range of different emotions.
4. The last thing I'd like to mention is that some initial questions of the anime, most of them emerging in the first episode were left without a proper answer. Why do people need a certain drug to get possessed by demons, and what is that drug? How did Ryo know about the existence of Amon, and his exceptional powers if he lost all his knowledge about who he was before (leader of demons)? If any of you can come up with an answer or explanation, I'd be more than happy, maybe it was just me who didn't notice some minor details.
Now let's move on to the positive features of the anime, which basically includes EVERYTHING, but I might be a little biased.
1. Story: I loved the framed structure of the story, which produced a bit of confusement in the beginning, but the last episode made everything clear so beautifully. The first half of the anime can be characterised by the adjectives gore, dirty, perverted, sexual, hypnotic, funny and extremely modern. The scenes incorporated today's nightlife and club culture, the sexualizing of everything, the sexual perversion of people in modern society of high living standards, even fashion and music were completely on point. The story gradually transverted from this extremely dirty and materialistic phase to a divine and supernatural aspect. The gore still remained (fortunately) but it became more serious, and actually making the viewers' heart ache. It might just be me, but animes in which EVERYONE dies is my kinda thing, so I was happy that not even the purest, most innocent characters received mercy.
I really appriciated that despite my Christian education I was still surprised by certain turns of the story. The counter attack of God's divine army, the unfolding of Ryo's evil plan and so on. The ending was very emotional, and it close the circle of the events with the destruction of the globe perfectly.
2. Characters: Character development is definitely the biggest strength of the anime. Not only the three protagonists (Akira, Ryo, Miki) went through great changes and development, but minor characters (Miko, Mayuta, Wamu) as well.
For me Akira represents human nature the best. He goes into great depths through the story (e.g.: raping and fighting Silene) and exploits the full potential of his demon powers, but still manages to keep his human heart, and this duality shows great emotional strength. This is where the title gets its meaning: a devil that is capable of crying, which is an ultimate way of expressing emotions. Even if there is no practical difference between demons and "Devilman" (it is just an artificial name given to Akira by Ryo), the self-identification is determining. It is a beautiful allegory to human nature, which is never black and white but the mixture of good and evil, and the only thing that counts is how we look at ourselves, how we define ourselves. Declearing that one is a "bad person" deprives him the will to act right.
Ryo and Satan cannot be identified as completely the same person in my opinion. Ryo have lost his memories about being a fallen angel, and was conveinced he was a human until the "relevation" he found in the Bible, that made him discover his past. His subconscious though, led him to fulfill his eventual purpose, but certain signs throughout the story showed that he was doubting himself (especially when it was concerning the life of Akira). In his Satan "form" there was no doubt written on his face. He was 100% sure in his goal and was ready to deploy all the means necessary to achieve it. The greatest surprise in my view was the fact that even Satan was able to change in a way. This is a feature of most anime that no character is purely good or evil. (This is the reason why I prefer anime to Hollywood shit.) In the closing scene he cried, which was a bit predictable and "too perfect", but it was essential to understand his struggle. It proved him that love exists, and that "He cried too", thus it was sort of an enlightment for him, in the exact moment when the annihilation of the world began.
One of the most interesting supporting Characters was Mayuta or Kukun. He was the only openly gay character in the series, and his sorrow after the death of his love was extremely moving, it made the show even more colorful. It was visible that his sadness fed the demon inside him, thus is it a good allegory for depression or other mental illnesses. He experienced the worst traumas in the anime (being revealed in front of the whole world meanwhile a massacre) and maybe because of his lack of emotional intelligence, he couldn't process these events completely. He was easily manipulated, weak and a coward. It might sound like I hated him because of these traits, but that's not the case. He was not able to achieve as much as Akira did, but he had a far worse backstory as well, which made him the ultimate "sadboy", and that is exactly why he appaeled to me.
3. Art: Straght up perfect. In the first few minutes I had to adapt to the character design, since I was used to a more elaborated, "classical" design. It is very avantgarde if I can say that, there is a bit of everything in it from constructivism to pop art. It is also a great mixture of ancient and ultra-modern, since the Biblical nature of the story placed into modern times requires that as well. My favourite thing about the art was the naturalism it represented. The raw sexual and gore scenes, that had an extremely strong impact on my senses were to live for. I don't easily become shocked of horroristic scenes, but the episode in which Taro ate his mom while his dad watching them, crying and hesitating whether to kill him or not had me straight up SHAKING.
4. References: There were no direct references in the anime, but the nature of the story and certain scenes have very much resembled those of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Both series are based on Biblical symbols and are centered around the theme of creation, genesis. In my opinion Devilman: Crybaby does a better job in that regard, with less waisting of time on fucking tsunderes and annoying complaining (yeah, I'm talking about Shinji).
5. Music: No words are needed, I've already mentioned that it's exceptional and really sets the mood.
Now to the closing remarks. I know my review is not perfectly structured, since thoughts are still circling in my head like crazy, but I tried my best. Sadly I do not have the capacity to write about a dozen of more detailes such as Miki and Miko's beautiful relationship or the historical and social dimension of the story (which is actually the most interesting thing so idk why I skipped it, I might write another review on just this later). All in all I loved the anime despite its flaws, tbh I love it even more because of them. I highly recommend it to everyone, since it's extremely thought provoking. I warn you, around episode 9-10 you'll be like a Crybaby.
Peace
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summer-binging-spn · 7 years
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Black and Blue
Word Count: 2,150 (without lyrics)
Warnings: Abuse, Abusive boyfriend (it’s not Dean), violence, cursing, drinking alcohol
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Tags: @lucifer-in-leather @ravengirl94 @wayward-mirage @helvonasche @mamaredd123 @myplaceofthingsilove @assbutt-still-in-hell
Author's Note: This is my submission for @casbabydontgoineedyou ‘s 2k challenge. Congratulations on the followers! I’m sorry I’m late! But here it is, a day late. I chose the song Blue Ain’t Your Color by Keith Urban (lyrics are bolded and italicized) and I’m still not sure what emotion to put with this, heartbreak, happiness it’s a little bit of both. And there’s a sprinkle of anger.
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I can see you over there Staring at your drink Watchin’ that ice sink All alone tonight
Melting ice and salty tears are watering down what remains of your drink as you sit alone at the bar after another night of hell. Black and blue bruises up and down your arms. 
“Can I get a whiskey? And get her something else too,” a man sits beside you, probably another hunter, just not living like you. 
“Thank you,” you say, wiping your tears. 
“No problem,” he says and sips his drink alongside you. 
“You should probably ice those, it’ll make them less noticeable,” he states motioning towards your arms. 
“I’ll be alright, always am,” you say. 
“If you say so, I’m Dean,” he introduces himself and you finally take a good look at him. Familiar green eyes, a strong jaw, and a frown that seems permanent.
“Y/n,” you mumble and sit there sipping the drink. You finish your drink and sit for a few moments before breaking the silence. 
“Thank you for the drink, I’ll have to buy you one sometime,” you smile weakly at Dean before standing. 
“You sure you need to drive?” Paul, the bartender and your friend, asks. 
“I’ll be alright, I’m not that drunk,” you say and start towards the door. You stumble slightly and grab the bar. 
“Woah there sweetheart, I don’t think you should be driving, I’ll take you home,” Dean offers. 
“What about my car?” you ask, thinking of what he would do if you came home without your car. 
“My brother will drive it behind us, I just need your keys,” he says, you hand your keys over reluctantly and he calls over a taller man. 
“Sam this is Y/n, I’m giving her a ride home, I was hoping you would drive her car home,” Dean smiles at
“Oh my gosh, you two are the Winchesters, aren’t you?” You ask finally connecting the dots. 
“Son of a bitch, I can’t go to one roadhouse without someone knowing who I am,” Dean grumbles. 
“Calm down Deanie Weenie,” you grin. 
“Oh shit, you’re Bobby’s niece,” Dean mumbles. 
“Of course. My parents moved me away so I wouldn’t get into the hunting life and look where I am,” You laugh bitterly as Dean leads you to his car. You buckle and give him directions to your house. 
“I owe you a drink,” you state as you get out, Sam hands you your keys and you go inside.
And chances are You’re sittin’ here in this bar ‘Cause he ain’t gonna treat you right Well, it’s probably not my place But I’m gonna say it anyway 'Cause you look like You haven’t felt the fire Had a little fun Hadn’t had a smile in a little while
“Baby, you gonna go to that damn bar before you come home,” Brock slurs into the phone. 
“I am tonight, I need a few minutes of me time,” you mumble, hoping that he’ll allow it. 
“Sure thing beautiful, just bring home some beer and pretzels,” he hiccups. 
“Okay,” you breathe and he hangs up. You make your way inside the bar you take your normal seat and wait for Paul to get a chance to get you a drink. 
“The usual?” He asks. 
“Of course,” you smile weakly. 
“Looks like your friend is back,” he nods towards the door while he fixes your drink. You glance towards the door and the Winchesters are walking in. Dean immediately smiles at you and sits by you. 
“His is on me,” you grin. You and Dean sit beside each other and buy each other drinks. You send a couple to Sam, but according to Dean he needs to drive him home so Sam can’t be too drunk. Your phone rings, interrupting your drinking.
“Let it ring,” Dean mumbles, sipping his whiskey.
“I’ve got to take this,” you mumble and step away from the bar.
“Hello,” you mumble.
“When will you be home?”
“Soon, I promise. Go ahead and go to bed,” you state.
“Alright,” he mumbles into the phone.
“Goodnight,” you say and he hangs up. That was actually painless, you head back to the bar and sit back down. You get back home around four in the morning.
Baby Blue looks good on the sky Looks good on that neon buzzin’ on the wall But, darling, it don’t match your eyes I’m tellin’ you You don’t need that guy It’s so black and white He’s stealin’ your thunder Baby, blue ain’t your color
“Baby, I need some beer,” Brock yells from the living room. 
“I’m cooking right now, can I go after I finish?” You ask softly, hoping he’ll be kind for once. You hear the familiar creak of the chair and his steps on the floor. 
“You’ll go when I need it,” he growls pushing you against the counter, you whimper and turn your head away. 
“Look at me,” he grabs your chin and turns your face towards him. 
“You are going to go outside, start that piece of shit car, drive to the damn store, and buy me some beer,” he barks and shoves you towards the door. You grab your keys and purse and head out to your car. You start it and drive to the store. Your hands shaking you get out and make your way to that familiar isle. 
“What do we need?” You hear someone mumble to himself as you look for the right kind of beer. 
“Hey,” you hear from behind you. You feel arms wrap around you and you flinch. 
“It’s just me,” Dean mumbles, slightly hurt. 
“Sorry, hunter reflexes,” you smile up at him and hug him. 
“How’ve you been?” 
“I’m okay. How about you and Sammy?”
“We’re good,” he nods. 
“Good,” you smile at him and grab a case of beer, knowing if you don’t get home soon you’ll be accused of cheating and it’ll only get worse. 
“Here I’ll get it,” he says and takes it from you. 
“Thanks,” you mumble, slightly confused.
“No problem,” he says setting it on the counter. You pay and start to pick up the beer. 
“I’ll get it, just let me pay for mine,” Dean says and you nod. He pays, picks up his groceries and grave the case of beer. You pop your trunk, and Dean sets the beer in smiling at you. You can’t help but smile back at him. 
“You should smile more, it suits you,” he says, shutting your trunk. 
“Thanks,” you say and hug him once more.
I’m not tryna Be another just Pick you up Kinda guy Tryna drink you up Tryna take you home But I just don’t understand How another man Can take your sun And turn it ice cold
You step into the bar, searching for your friends. Dean motions you over to the booth he’s sitting in. You slide in beside Dean and order a drink.
“You made it,” he grins. Sam is working on his laptop and sipping a beer.
“Yeah,” you smile at him. You sit with him and drink for a while.
“I need up,” he mutters into your ear.
“Okay,” you mumble and stand up. He steps out and you sit back down.
“You should dance with me,” he grins, pulling you back up.
“Oh, I don’t dance,” you shake your head, thinking back to the last time you asked Brock to dance.
“C’mon, you loved to dance,” Dean pleads and that’s how you find yourself dancing with Dean Winchester. Your head rests on him as you sway to a slow song that came on.
“Thank you,” you mumble as he sways with you.
“Why?” he asks, looking down at you.
“I love dancing, I haven’t had this much fun in forever,” you smile up at him.
“I’m glad I could help,” he chuckles, his chest rumbling.
“I could dance all night,” you murmur softly.
“I’ll dance all night with you, if you want,” he offers, and you take up his kind offer.
Well, I’ve had enough to drink And it’s makin’ Me think that I just might Tell you if I were a painter I wouldn’t change ya I’d just paint you bright Baby
“I think you should go on a hunt with us,” Dean grins from beside you. You had met them at the bar once again, and you were sipping on your favorite drink.
“I don’t know, I don’t think my boyfriend would like that,” you glance at Dean, unsure. 
“What is wrong with this boyfriend of yours? He’s never with you, he doesn’t let you hunt with us and you only come out with us half the time,” he asks, you know what he’s accusing Brock of but Dean can’t know that he hits you. He doesn’t do it on purpose, he loves you.
“Nothing, he just doesn’t want me out too late, he worries,” you lie.
“I’m not an idiot. Why don’t you tell us how he hits you? Why won’t you just tell us it’s you he’s yelling at when we call?”
“Dean I think you’re overstepping your boundaries here,” you whisper, standing up. 
“You can’t even see what he’s doing to you, can you?” he whispers grabbing your wrist lightly. 
“He isn’t doing anything to me, he loves me,” you whisper. 
“He doesn’t love you! He’s hurting you! He’s killing your happiness, he making you dull and unhappy,” he cries.
“Why do you care?” You demand.
“Because you’re such a bright person and he’s made you into this quiet soft spoken thing and I don’t know what the hell you are thinking,” he states, shaking his head.
“I’m thinking he loves me and you haven’t seen me in years, you don’t know me anymore,” you bite harshly. 
“I do know you though, I know you love to dance and laugh, and on rainy days you love to sit in a cozy chair and read by the window. I know you,” he states, standing up beside you. 
“Dean let me go,” you whisper, pulling away from him. 
“Fine, but I won’t watch your happiness die because of that fucker anymore,” he bites and leaves you standing there, slightly shocked that he listened but he left.
'Cause blue looks good on the sky Looks good on that neon buzzin’ on the wall But, darling, it don’t match your eyes I’m tellin’ you You don’t need that guy It’s so black and white He’s stealin’ your thunder Baby, blue ain’t your color, no,no no Mmm. It ain’t your color, baby
You miss Dean, you sit in your chair in your room by the window, he was right you like to sit and read while it rains. But you couldn’t read for thinking about him, you look out the window at the rain hitting the ground and listen to the soft patter of it hitting the roof. You think about what Dean said about your boyfriend, about how he’s making you quiet and dull. Dean might be right but you love Brock. 
“Hey baby how about you start cooking supper?” Brock yells from the other room. 
“Can I finish this page?” you ask. You hear his footsteps coming towards the one room you feel safe in. 
“I’m coming,” you cry standing setting your book down and walking towards the kitchen. 
“I want chicken tonight,” he states cornering you beside the fridge. 
“I don’t know if we have chicken,” you whisper. 
“I bought chicken,”he whispers and slowly kissed your neck. 
“Brock not tonight,” you plead. 
“I don’t want you going to that bar after supper, I want you to stay here,” he demands into your ear. 
“Okay you mumble and start to cook supper. You continue to try and figure out a way to get out.
Mmm, baby. Blue looks good on the sky Looks good on that neon buzzin’ on the wall But, darling, it don’t match your eyes I’m tellin’ you You don’t need that guy It’s so black and white He’s stealin’ your thunder Baby, blue ain’t your color Blue ain’t your color
Blue bruises glare from your wrists and your back is screaming from the way he shoved you. 
“You shouldn’t take that shit,” Dean states from beside you. 
“I’m not anymore,” you admit weakly, you had finally listened to what he told you a few weeks ago and told Brock where to shove it.
“Good,” he mutters gruffly, sipping his drink. You notice cuts and scrapes along his hands.
“What happened to you?” You ask meekly.
“Hunt,” he mutters and sips his drink. 
“Oh,” you mumble.
“You need help getting your stuff?”
“I’ll get it all eventually,” you mumble.
“I’ll help you,” Dean offers.
“You sure?” you ask.
“I’m sure,”
“He shouldn’t be home tonight, if you aren’t doing anything,” you say. He nods and you drive back to the house. Dean helps you pack the rest of your things into your car.
“Thank you,” you grin up at him.
“You do have somewhere to go, right?” he asks, looking at you, concern in his voice.
“I’ll figure it out,” you shrug.
“Maybe, you could stay with Sam and I at the bunker? I know you probably have hunts, but it can be a sort of home base,” Dean offers.
“I’ll need to think about it Dean,” you smile.
“Just know the door is open for you,” he says.
Mmm. No, no, baby Come here, baby Lemme light up your world
You grin up at Dean, you broke up with Brock just over a year ago, moved into the bunker with the Winchesters and started hunting with them. Things were awkward at first, but you grew comfortable together and a few months after you moved in Dean asked you on a date. You said yes and you soon found out what a truly good man was.
“Are you two going to the bar tonight?” Sam asks from the door of your bedroom.
“I’m not, I just want to lay here all night,” you answer.
“I’m staying here too,” Dean grins.
“Alright,” Sam mumbles and walks away from your room.
“You wanna play pool?” Dean asks.
“Of course,” you smile up at him. You two never play pool when Sam is home, you’re afraid you and Dean will get too into the game and the bets will get ugly; sometimes you play at the bar which is never as eventful.
“If you win, I’ll do whatever you want in the bedroom for a month,” Dean smirks.
“If you win, I’ll cook whatever you want for two weeks,” you grin.
“That’s not fair,” he groans.
“I think it is,” you smile innocently.
“Fine,” he grins and you start playing. In the end you won, you had learned from the best.
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waywardimpalawriter · 7 years
Text
Her
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Her
Summary: For a moment, just a moment you thought the prefect life might be in your grasp.
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Dean x Lisa
Warnings: angst
Word count: 1,156 (with lyrics)
Setting: The year Dean spends with Lisa so between season 5 and 6
Notes: #SPN Anti-Valentine’s Challenge by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing I chose Miranda Lambert’s song More like her.
Tag list:
Forever:
@winters-buck
@angryschnauzer
@marvel-lucy
@feelmyroarrrr
@aquabrie
@fandommaniacx
@thetalesofmooseandsquirrel
@supernaturallymarvellous
Supernatural:
@smoothdogsgirl 
@spnfanficpond
@aprofoundbondwithdean
  She's beautiful in her simple little way She don't have too much to say when she gets mad She understands, she don't let go of anything Even when the pain gets really bad I guess I should've been more like that
Reader POV
I should’ve held onto my pride, should’ve walked away just like he is with my head held high. But I guess stupidity runs in my veins. Stupidly thinking he’d want to settle down with me, have that white picket fence, Apple pie life we only dreamed about. He hadn’t promised forever, never knowing my true feelings, never figuring out how I felt about him, nor returning them. Ones I pushed aside to keep from getting hurt, and in the end they’re what done me in. Not watching Sam fall, Lucifer contained inside his body, into the cage, sealed away for the good of mankind. It’s not seeing Castiel’s vessel explode or Bobby’s neck snapped, both returned to normal thank God that has me wanting to curl into the fetal position and cry.
No it’s the look on Dean’s face when we pulled up to the curb, relief mixed with pain and sadness. He’s not looking at me of course but at her house. A place he’ll be calling home from now on, with a woman that should’ve been me. If I’d gotten the courage to speak my heart.   
“You wanna come up?” deep voice a touch rough with unshed emotions, his eyes never leaving the front door.
You had it all for a pretty little while And somehow you made me smile when I was sad You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart And then you realized you wanted what you had I guess I should've been more like that
For a moment shock took hold of me, questions of why he’s asking, of is he serious doesn’t he know? In the end shaking my head, just to stare out the front windshield, “Go on Dean, Lisa’s waiting for you right?”
“Where will you go?” from the corner of my eye, catching those strong hands resting on the steering wheel, but I don’t look over, not fully. If I did there’s no telling what’ll happen and I couldn’t risk that.
Instead I shrug, “Doesn’t matter, anywhere,” the cadence in my voice not sounding like my own, but that of a stranger as I lie to Dean for the first time since knowing him.
“I can give you a ride to the nearest bus stop.”
Shaking my head, hand going to the handle of Baby’s door, “Don’t bother Dean, I’ve always taken care of myself, not gonna stop now.”
Feeling warmth rest on my shoulder, cursing my weak will to stay aloof and show no emotion when it comes to this man. “You’ve got Bobby and Cas,” softly though I think I miss heard him adding, “me.”
Opening the door, one foot already on the curb, while shrugging his warm callused palm off my shoulder, “Better alone than put through the ringer.”
“Don’t be stubborn Y/N at least head back to Bobby’s,” there’s anger in his tone and I know it’s directed at me, but I could careless right now.
Stepping out, giving the Impala a fond rub down the side of her sleek black side, so many memories both good and bad ones held within the metal, leather and rubber. “I’m not, I’m being realistic Dean. You’re getting out, an apple pie life, go live. Don’t worry or think about me, I’ll be fine.”
Pushing away, opening the back door of Baby to pull my duffle bag out, chancing a foolish glance at Dean, who’s watching every move I make. Why I’ll never know, never ask, before closing the door, turning on my heel and starting down the suburban street away from the one man I’ve loved longer than I can remember. She’ll have him now and he’ll forget all about me, about the life we shared even if it’d been as friends.
I should have held on to my pride I should have never let you lie I guess you got what you deserved I guess I should've been more like her
I don’t hear the footsteps that follow, till an arm pulls me back, making me turn and gripping my shoulders. “I’m sorry.”
Puzzled, knowing Dean Winchester never apologizes for anything in his life, “For what?” I’m trying to act as if his touch, the very present of him being so close doesn’t have an effect on me.
“Leave.”
“It’s your choice Dean I’m not going to tell you what or how to live it,” motioning with my head back towards the house needing him to let me go. “Go, I have a bus to catch and evil to put in their graves.”
 “Come by anytime,” he offers pulling my unwilling body in for a tight hug that I don’t return.
Gathering my voice, “Yeah, sure next time I pass through,” pulling away I don’t look back, don’t wave or add anything more, just walk away it’d better this way after all. I’d never see him again despise what I’d said I’d make sure never to pass through this town or anywhere near it again.
Forgiving you, well, she's stronger than I am You don't look much like a man from where I'm at It's plain to see desperation showed it's truth You love her, and she loves you with all she has I guess I should've been more like that
I should have held on to my pride I should have never let you lie I guess you got what you deserved I guess I should've been more like her
She's beautiful in her simple little way
Dean’s POV
Wanting to stop you, to gather you in my arms and never let go, yet that’s what I’m doing. The coward in me is letting the best thing in my life beside Sam, his name making me wince remembering he’s gone, Cas, and Bobby, I’m letting you walk away with no other words. I’d promised Sam to live a different life, but for the first time I wonder if it’s going to be with the wrong person.
I never told you what I felt all those nights we’d fall asleep together, how fighting alongside you every day kept me sane. How you’d become a deeper part of me, even more so than her.
While my heart screamed at me to follow you, explain and just run away together, my brain reasoned she would be a better choice, safer. Though would be mean happier? Would she be able to understand the nightmares, the need to check every lock twice, devil’s trap by each door, salt everywhere? I didn’t know, but as I watched you walk away, I knew one thing you’re taking my heart with you and I knew I’d never see you again regardless of what you promised.
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amadnessofmuses · 7 years
Text
But I Hear Those Voices At Night
Exhaustion was all Sam felt when he opened his eyes.
Though these days that wasn’t all that unusual, it was even normal for him. Sam hated it. Rolling onto his stomach he opened his eyes again questioning for a moment when they’d managed to fall shut. A tired heavy limbed hand reached for his phone pulling it from the nightstand over to the corner of his bed so he could check the time.
It was around one in the afternoon, late enough in the evening that Dean should have already been awake and making lunch. These days Sam just didn’t eat breakfast and it seemed like Dean had come around to accepting that, something he was thankful for too.
Today the small apartment was quiet and some recollection of Dean saying he was going grocery shopping floated to the front of his mind.
His usual headache was back and he groaned as he sat up enough to reach for the pills that he always kept next to his phone. The prescription usually knocked him out flat for hours so on dad and moms orders Dean had taken to cutting them in half so he wouldn’t sleep. They were just trying to help but the they couldn’t understand the ringing in his head or how it always felt like there was too much in too little a space—like his whole head might explode.
His hand fumbled at the counter, fingers seeking out the little half of pill when chills suddenly worked up his spin.
Don’t take those Sammy…
The words sent a cold dread through Sam and he glanced around his room hoping Dean would be standing there or even dad or mom—anyone.
The room was as empty as ever, the silence of the apartment still settled around him. Licking his lips he glanced back to the nightstand, eyes landing on where the pills sat an inch away from his hand. It was probably just his imagination, probably just the headache and the quiet of the room getting to him. Reaching out his fingers landed on the pill but an icy grip stopped his movements dead, shock and fear racing through him as he pulled his hand back letting the pill fall to the floor.
“Leave me alone,” he all but shouted the words at the air, knees drawing up against his chest as he sat back further on his bed away from the thing he couldn’t see.
The last thing he needed was Sam taking pills again, every time he did he would be knocked out and ignore or not remember everything he had told him in his dreams. This time he needed Sam awake, he needed Sam’s attention while his brother was out of the place finally.
“Just pay attention to me Sam, this wouldn’t all be so horrible if you did,” he said knowing the kid couldn’t hear him even as he moved to sit down on the foot of the bed.
“We need you up and about, what will get you out of this bed?” He asked, lips pursed as he thought about it for a moment.
“Oh I know,” he added eyes still on his vessel a small grin curling on his lips. With a snap of his fingers he turned on the faucet in Sam’s bathroom, listening to the sound of running water filling the air. At least it would make him get out of bed. Maybe even get out of bed and pay attention to him. 
 If anything or anyone said anything to his outburst and request to be left alone Sam didn’t hear it. His nerves were shot and on edge though, the hair still standing up on the back of his neck. It was impossible to shake the feeling that something was in the room with him and he had a feeling judging from the smell of apples on the air he knew exactly whole it was—or rather what it was.
His demon.
Dean had promised that it was gone. He’d said that dad and John had taken care of it and that it wasn’t going to be coming back. But then again Meg’s demon had made it sound like there was one still in him or like he should have had more trouble getting his out. Dean had promised him that wasn’t the case either...
Sam wasn’t convinced.
The water running in the bathroom had his eyes wide, his head turning that direction as he swallowed roughly. He didn’t want to go in there and yet he felt like he had to, that something was guiding him that direction.
“Look just…just stop,” he wanted to whine but he didn’t want to be a baby over it and instead ended up just running his hands back through his hair in an annoyed half panicked motion. “Fine I’m up, is that what you want I’m up.”
Getting from his bed he looked around the room wildly still trying to find whoever was there.
 “I’ll stop when you look at me Sam,” Lucifer offered, watching as Sam got off the bed, looking around the room. Using his grace he turned the water on a little higher hoping to get Sam into the bathroom.
Maybe he could see him in the mirror, maybe that would get him to pay attention to him.
“It doesn’t have to be this hard, just stop lying to yourself admit what you are and we can sit down and have a talk,” he said pushing himself off the bed easily, hoofed feet clicking on the wooden floors.
“Can you hear me Sam?” He asked walking towards the bathroom and away from the kid, this was the down fall of not having a vessel. It was hard to see celestial intent in its true form unless you believed and wanted to see. He needed Sam to believe, he needed Sam to get scared enough of him and know that he was real so he would believe in him. Without a vessel, without Sam it was a lot easier said than done.
  “No,” Sam shook his head his fingers running back through his hair as he was asked if he could hear the voice. If he said no, if he pretended that he couldn’t hear it then maybe it would all go away. Maybe then Dean would come home and things could go back to normal. Sam needed things to go back to being normal.
His whole body felt like it was shaking as he made his way into the bathroom determined to shut off the water that was only turning itself on higher. Pulling back the curtain the sight that met his eyes was the last thing he was expecting to see and sent his stomach turning in knots.
“Fuck,” he groaned and backed against the wall, his eyes glued to the blood spurting out of the facet coating the tub in thick red that looked straight out of a horror movie.
Slowly sliding down the wall he covered his head, his body still shaking as he tried to block out what he was seeing and the voice he could hear practically begging him to look and see.
“Just leave me alone, please,” he begged.
 Lucifer watched from the door way as Sam slid down the wall, okay, so he didn’t seem to like the blood. That was a shame, he loved the stuff. It was thick and warm and it looked so good against white.
“You know Sam if you would just say yes you can hear me and not no, I wouldn’t have to do this to you,” he reasoned as he turned the water from blood to water again and then turned it off.
“You listened to Azazel why won’t you listen to me,” he pouted, squatting down in the door way so he was closer to Sammy, head cocked slightly as he pouted, horn bumping the door frame. “You are my vessel it would only be fair,” he added with a pout.
Reaching out he moved a finger along Sam’s arm, tracing from the bone in his wrist down to his elbow before stopping. “I could sing you a song if you would like, what’s your favorite?” He asked with a grin as he moved to sit next to Sam.
“No mind, I’ll pick my own, I heard it when your brother played it the other night while you were sleeping. Have you ever heard Stair way to Heaven?” He asked before breaking out into the song from memory of his brother sitting in the other room listening to it. There had been others he had learned but this one had been his favorite.
 It seemed to Sam that the demon wanted to stick around and harass him almost as much as Sam wanted him to go away. He didn’t think it knew just how well he could hear him or how much he hated that he could.
As the water shut off Sam peeked out from the sanctuary he had found behind his hands. The club was white and clean again, all traces of the horror scene gone leaving behind nothing but stray droplets of water. His mind wasn’t going to so easily forget the scene however and no amount of calming tunes from the devil was going to fix that.
“I don’t want to be a vessel.”
The words had left Sam’s mouth before the demon, the devil, could even finish the first verse of the song. Lyrics Sam knew well about words having two meanings were being sang and he wondered if there was a chance of that here and now. Could Azazel and the demon beside him now mean something different when they referred to him as a vessel?
It was a hope Sam wasn’t convinced of. Whatever luck he’d once had was long gone, his demons catching up with him and leaving him feeling insane, cold, and out of touch with the rest of the world around him.
Once more his head dropped into his heads, his eyes falling shut against the burning felling of tears that stung at them and threatened his throat with a painful thickness.
“Why me?”
 Lucifer was shocked into silence when Sam interrupted him mid verse. He didn’t mind since Sam was talking to him. It was okay, he had all the time in the world to sing to him later.
“Because Sam, you are special,” he offered, as he turned his head to look at him before dropping it back against the wall again, horns making noise against the plaster. It sounded loud in the quiet room and he was almost sure he could feel Sam jump beside him.
“When you were born, I could feel you. I had been banished to the stars but when you were born, I knew I could come back. You’re the key Sam, you are my vessel, you were made for me,” he added.
“Do you remember when I came to see you as a baby?” He asked curiously wondering how willing Sam was to have a conversation with him or if this was supposed to be a one-sided thing. He didn’t mind, he had gotten used to talking to himself, between the cage and the stars.
 Babies can’t remember things.
That what Sam always told himself and it was a truth he still clung to here and now.
Babies can’t remember things.
So why did he remember the sound of hoofs on the floor? Why did he remember the taste of blood on his lips; sweet and crisp like the best apple he’d ever tasted. Why could he remember the feeling for comfort and completeness, an level of innocence in his own thinking when he looked at the demon standing in front of him but not with the fear he felt now?
Babies aren’t supposed to remember but Sam hadn’t been able to forget.
Hell had always screamed at him, pushing in at the edges of his mind while he slept. How many nights had he woken with the blankets kicked off of him, body covered in sweat despite the cool air around him? Yellow eyes, white eyes, black eyes, and red all stared back at him from the shadows of his room, whispered words creating sounds he couldn’t forget.
The only thing that had ever worked were the drugs, the pot he’d started smoking when he was only twelve. A pretty girl named Lilith had given it to him, Sam remembered her too. He blond hair reached the middle of her back, her eyes had been as delectate as her other features. Lilith had looked at him with fascination, told him the drug would only work for so long, and in her eyes he could see something that scared him to the core. He’d never gone back to her after he’d seen the white flash through her eyes.
Leaning his head back he took a deep breath, the air stuttered in his lungs around the thick ache of tears stuck in his throat.
“I don’t want to be special, I don’t want to be a key or a vessel—don’t I get a say in this? Can’t I just be regular like everyone else is?”
It wasn’t fair and deep inside Sam knew he’d already made the decision for himself when he’d been a baby. His soul had said a single important word, one his baby brain shouldn’t have been able to comprehend yet but he had. This was already something he’d agreed to but it didn’t seem fair.
 Lucifer could understand where Sam was coming from, when he had fallen from Heaven all those years ago, he hadn’t wanted to. He hadn’t wanted to be at odds with his Father, with his brothers or the other sin Heaven. He hadn’t wanted to deal with the humans. The worst of the worst of a thing he already hated. He hadn’t’ want it just as Sam didn’t want this but he knew now, everyone had a purpose, without his fall there would be no Hell. He had given humans knowledge and with that they had learned how to sin. In the end it was his own fault. Had he eaten the apple himself he would have known better but he had still been learning too. He knew what Sam meant when he said he didn’t want t o be a part of something, he also knew sometimes there was no way out. Just like him, there was no way out for Sam. There was a war coming and him and Sam where at the epicenter of it all.
“I wish I could say you did Sam,” he offered, turning his head enough to look at the human, eyes still shining red.
“You already said yes a long time ago. Your soul said t for you, it wanted this before you even knew what this world was. You know you did and I know you did and I know you remember it,” he said grinning, head tuning back to rest his horns back against the wall.
There had always been a feeling that his life was out of his own hands. Sam had thought it just came from having overprotective family, family who wanted him on a certain path in life. It wasn’t fair, it had never been fair. The fact that he didn’t get a say in it now, that six month old him had got to decide—it wasn’t right.
Had he been less exhausted he might have tried to use human law to work his way out of it. Cited that a six month old couldn’t make decisions for himself but…but what was the point?
“What if I just don’t agree? What if I go to these meetings and I cast you out and I just don’t let you back in? Then I get a choice right, then I don’t have to do this.”
There was genuine fear in his words as he spoke. Fear of the demon sitting next to him, of the title that demon apparently held. The sound of his horns on the wall behind him had Sam flinching every time they made the slightest noise and he wondered when Dean would be home.
                  “That is the best part isn’t it Sam. If you don’t want me you never have                      to say yes. You never have to deal with this. You already cast me out                      and until you say yes again there is nothing I can do to get inside of                      you.”
It was the truth. Sammy had said yes as a baby, his soul had begged for the demon to come in. It had begged so loud he had heard him from space. His family however had meddled and had him expelled. He’d been ripped from Sam his invitation and permission to be inside him revoked. It hadn’t been enjoyable for him or Sam. He could see it when he looked at Sam, their souls and grace had been combining, making them one and they had been ripped apart from that. His own grace jagged at the edges matching Sam’s soul. If only the kid could see it he would want to say yes.
                     “There is a catch however.”
It was a simple truth, Sam didn’t have to say yes to him but…
                     “I don’t have to leave you alone. I can stay here forever. I can go                       where you go, see what you see, I can be with you all day and                       night. What is it you humans are so fond of saying? 24/7? “
Shifting against the tile, the king of Hell turned so he was facing Sam, leaning against the opposite side of the wall, arms crossing over his chest.
                    “What can I do to show you how great this can be Sam, I’ve already                     showed you some of the things I like. I shared the smell of apples with                      you and blood. Do you want to meet Goat, or snakes, I can show you                     so much more. What do you need from me Sam?”
 At first it was a comfort to know that he didn’t have to say yes, that he could walk away from this situation and never look back. It wasn’t a feeling that lasted very long however, not when the demon king of Hell was suddenly threatening him with the notion of always being around.
Sam didn’t want to see the blood or the snakes, he didn’t want to smell apples. Even the thought of them was making his stomach turn over on itself, the contents from last night’s meager dinner threatening to extract itself from his stomach.
“I—I don’t think I even like snakes so please just don’t do that.”
It felt rude, which was silly when he thought about it. The demon had caused enough of an issue in him that dad and Dean had had to exorcise him out, he was now facing jail time unless he went to those stupid meetings and honestly those meetings terrified him. Seeing Meg and her demon again—yeah those weren’t high on a list of things he wanted to do any time soon.
Sitting there now the demon didn’t seem so bad, it even seemed like he was wanting to be his friend in some weird twisted way. Being mean to him, telling him he didn’t want him around just seemed mean. It was a feeling Sam couldn’t even allow himself to entertain though, this was his life at stake here.
“What did you do—you know before when you were in me? They won’t tell me, well Dean will only share things here or there that he thinks I can handle. It must have been pretty bad though cause I’m facing jail time you know.”
Sam’s voice was quite, his eyes cast down to the ground to stare at the white tiles of the bathroom floor rather than making eye contact. He didn’t want to see the demon even if he was talking to him.
 Lucifer pouted when Sam said he didn’t like snakes. It was a little disappointing, he had thought his vessel would be more like him, that he would like the things that he did and he loved snaked. He wondered if he should show him he could be a snake. He would prolly not like that either.
                   “I did some things I had to in order to secure my place here on Earth.”
It was a simple statement even if the details weren’t as simple.
                   “A long time ago Sam, I was an angel and I was kicked out of Heaven                     and forced to Earth, so I built Hell. Now my daddy didn’t like that I had                     my own place and was collecting more humans than his place was so                     he snuck into my home and made a cage and then he ordered my                     brother to lock me in that cage. A few hundred years back I got out and                     was kicking around in space until you were born. When I was finally able                     to get into you and know you were strong enough I did and I was able to                     do a few things to ensure the cage never opened again.”
Shifting on the ground he stretched his leg out tapping a hoof against Sam’s foot for fun.
                   “I did it for us Sam, so you and I wouldn’t get put back there. I promise you                      I didn’t kill anything human despite what your people may believe.”
 It took every ounce of effort Sam had inside of him not to recoil at the touch from the demon’s hoof against his foot. He was cold, almost freezing to the touch and Sam couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through him. It was easy to understand now why he’d been so cold lately.
“I don’t know what they’ve said I’ve done, no one will tell me.”
If the demon really had done something to keep them from being locked in that cage in Hell then Sam was a little thankful for it. He remembered the cage, or at least he remembered dreaming about the cage. It had been awful and was part of why he was terrified to go to jail and why no matter what he always tried to do the right thing. The cage was a place he’d always dreamed of right along with the fires of Hell and the demons at his command. He’d seen himself do terrible things in his dreams, dreams that read more as instruction manuals than actual dreams and left him terrified of what he was.
Now he knew though and it was worse than he could have imagined.
“I don’t want to go tomorrow, I just—I don’t know what to do anymore or who to believe.”
Sam wished it was all black and white, he wished that Meg hadn’t liked her demon and introduced him to it or that his wasn’t sitting there with him now. It made them too real, it made them seem less scary and Sam needed his demon to be terrifying. He needed the blood in the sink, the cold chills, the animal like features because not looking at him and simply talking was making him think that maybe this wasn’t so bad.
  “That is an easy one Sam, go to tomorrow and then never                      go again.”
It was simple in his mind. Sam could say yes they could go, put on a show for the humans and the walk right back out of there and Sam would never have to go again.
                    “You say yes now, I hope right in you. You will feel better I                      can promise you that. We can go tomorrow, you can put on                      the dumb necklace, we can put on a show and then I can                      fake you over powering me add some spark and boom,                      your done.”
At least he was pretty sure that was how it was supposed to work at these things. He had only heard about them from Azazel and his experience with Meg and how she liked putting on the amulet just to scare people. He had hoped maybe he and Sammy could have some fun like that. As it was he doubted that he would be. He could feel the tension in Sam’s soul every time he bumped his hoof against his foot. The kid looked like he was about to bolt any second.
                     “What do you say Sssam?”
 It wasn’t going to be that easy and Sam knew it. He also wasn’t going to be tricked in to saying yes just so he wouldn’t have to go back to the meetings. There was no way he could just sit around and have a normal life with a demon inside of him, it wasn’t possible and Sam wasn’t ready to stop being who he was for Lucifer.
“They don’t let new people wear the amulet.”
That was something that had been made clear in all of the information they had given Dean to give to him. New comers that had only recently been possessed weren’t allowed to wear the amulet until they attended at least six different meetings.
“What happens if I say yes? You mentioned a war but I don’t want to fight a war.”
There was a lot he still dind’t understand and until he did he wasn’t going to be agreeing to let this demon in to him any time soon.
 Lucifer frowned when Sam all but said no to him because of a war and the amulet not allowed to be worn for some more lessons. Instead he seemed to want to talk about the war, which was okay with him.
                    “First off you have to know Sam, I am not just a demon, I am                      the Devil. Lucifer if you would please and yes as soon as you                      say yes, there will be a war. I have to find my brother and make                      him pay for what he did to me, for what him and Father did to him.”
He could feel his anger rising as he thought about it. He thought about all the time he had wasted in the depths of Hell being Father’s bitch boy for the sins of humans, like the whole thing had been his fault. The madder he got the cooler he could feel the room becoming around him, ice crackling against the tile as it grew out around him.
                    “He put me there Sam, he put in Hell on my father’s orders while                     he sat there in Heaven. Then dad left and guess who got to take                      his place. Mikey; the good son. That is who. Now Michael is going                      to pay for locking me away and Father is going to lose his favorite                      son as punishment for forcing me to Hell and out of Heaven. It was                      my home Sam and he kicked me out and banned me from ever going                      back.
 The Devil, Lucifer—Azazel hadn’t been wrong when he’d said what he had and Sam so desperately wanted him to be. He’d have given anything in that moment for this not to be Lucifer sitting on the tile across from him promising war on the angels for what had happened.
It was getting too cold in the room to think, too cold for Sam to tell Lucifer he needed to stop. The frost that crept over the tiles under him and around Lucifer were cold enough it felt like his skin was burning. Sam pulled back quickly, trying to move away from the icy cold.
“Stop!”
The word was forced from his lips, fear and pain hanging on it as he scrambled across the floor still trying to get away before the ice could hurt him again.
“Please it’s too cold.”
Sam was positive he’d never felt anything colder in his life. Reaching the door he hauled himself to his feet and slid out into the hallway. The back of his thighs hurt, a stinging feeling settling deep into the skin. Reaching back he rubbed at them, his hand coming away with frost and ice crystals from the cold.
 Dean was just inside the door, arms full of bags and pushing it closed behind him as he watched Sam coming sliding out of his room, screaming and grabbing his legs.
                   “What the Hell dude?”
The question was leaving his lips, bags falling from his arms and crashing to the floor before he could even think. Something was wrong with his brother, he could tell from his face and his voice and the way the back of his legs were covered in ice.
                 “Where the hell did you get in to ice Sam?”
It was dumb question he was sure the kid was in pain, his lips looked blue, his skin turning colors from where he could see it around his boxers. Whatever Sam had gotten into sucked big time and god he hoped another demon.
                 “Alright come on.”
He pushed his arm under Sam’s shoulder and around his body helping him across the hall to his bathroom, with the way he had watched Sam come barreling from his room he didn’t think he would be able to get him back in there any time soon. He pulled back the curtain to the bathtub and turned on the water warm but not hot, the last thing he wanted to do was burn Sammy to. He moved Sammy so he could get him in the tub, the arm water flowing around him.
                 “Hey Sammy, man, you gotta look at him, what the hell happened dude?”
He ran his hands down the side of his head turning the kid to look at him and to make sure he was actually okay and see if he could get some answers.
 Distantly Sam was aware that Dean was there, that he was being moved to his room and the other bathroom. The warm water felt good but his teeth were still chattering, the cold that seemed bone deep inside seemingly holding on the best it could.
Looking up at Dean he swallowed roughly, not sure what he was supposed to tell him. If he told him the truth he’d call dad and Bobby out to do another exorcism but Lucifer wasn’t going to just leave with that.
“I’m sorry.”
Shivering he wrapped his arms around himself wishing his legs didn’t hurt to bad to pull them up against his chest. They felt heavy and stiff though so he left them in the water letting them warm up from Lucifer’s icy cold anger.
“He was here Dean—the demon was here still. It’s not in me, I swear it’s not but he was here and and I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”
As he talked Sam was still shivering, his eyes wide and frightened as he told Dean about the demon that had been talking with him. Lucifer wasn’t in him but he was there and he didn’t seem interested in leaving any time soon. Dean needed to know.
 Dean wasn’t shocked to hear that the demon was still around. Sammy had been acting funny for days now, sleeping all the time. Not getting up to go anywhere, not eating. He knew something was wrong with the kid. He just hadn’t been able to put his finger on it apart from the demon. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up in case he had been wrong but it was looking like he hadn’t been too far off base.
Reaching out he ran his hand down the side of Sammy’s hair, tucking it behind his ears before he turned his attention to the water, turning the cool down a little and adding a little more hot to start and warm it up some more. What he didn’t understand was how the demon could have done this if he wasn’t in Sammy. How had it managed to manifest anything if it wasn’t anchored to this plain with a vessel? That wasn’t normal demon behavior. It was looking more and more like he was going to have to ask Michael about this and see what this demon was all about.
                   “I believe you Sammy.”
It was all he could offer, seeing how freaked the kid looked. He hated this for him. He hated the idea that all this was over and yet still somehow this demon was still bothering him. He hated it for Sammy.
                    “How are your legs feeling?”
He reached out to gently move him so he could see. He wondered if they would need to take him to a doctor to get this checked. He didn’t know how to do so and not use the words demon when his brother had managed to get frostbite in the middle of his bedroom. He didn’t want to say demon, if he did he might not be able to take the kid home. This world wasn’t demon friendly and he wasn’t putting Sammy into a live in demon rehab program, the one he was scheduled for was enough.
 Knowing that Dean believed him put him at ease and allowed Sam to relax just a little. There was no way to know for sure if Lucifer was gone after this or if he was still lurking around but he knew with Dean there that things could start to get better again. If Dean was there Lucifer wouldn’t come around and try to force him into being his vessel.
“They’re fine.”
Stretching them out he let the warm water wash over them hoping it would ease the numbness and almost white pallor of his skin. Sam wasn’t dumb, he knew he should be being looked over by a doctor but the last thing he wanted was to be admitted into a demon rehab program when there wasn’t one inside of him. It was scary enough that he was already being forced into a weekly one, he didn’t want to live at one.
Shivering he tried to resist the urge to pull his legs to his chest to keep them warm knowing the water would make them feel better, especially as Dean adjusted it to being warmer.
“We can’t tell dad Dean, no one can know or they’ll try and lock me away. You know that right?”
Dad would make him go through another exorcism, which wouldn’t be terrible without a demon in him, but Sam still didn’t want that. Or they would consent to sending him off and knowing he was locked up because of his family agreeing to it was almost worse than being locked up because the hospital deemed it necessary.
 Dean shook his head when Sam begged him not to tell John. He knew they hadn’t been super close since Sam had gone to collage but he wasn’t just going to tell John about this. This was different from before and he wasn’t even sure John was equipped to deal with this kind of issue.
                     “I won’t Sammy, we can figure this out on our own.”
Reaching out he ran his fingers through his hair again, one more turning the hot water up in the tub.
                     “You feeling any better?”
It felt like a dumb question, of course he wasn’t feeling any better, who would be when they had just been frozen by the demon they had in them previously. He wouldn’t be. He would be scared as Hell, he’d never heard of a demon that could still hang around without a vessel.
 “Yeah, yeah I think so.”
Moving his arms away from himself he ran one down the back of his thigh trying not to wince at the tender feeling in his leg. It still felt pretty bad but the tingling in it meant he was getting feeling back in to his skin.
“What are we going to do? He said he’s not going to go until I say yes again…that I said yes as a baby.”
Sam was still trying to wrap his head around that part. He wanted to tell Dean that it had been Lucifer, that he had said there would be a war and that he was the vessel for it but he wasn’t sure how much his brother was going to be able to handle. It was a lot, almost more than he could, and he didn’t want Dean to worry.
“I don’t remember dad talking about any cases where demons hung around their vessels after exorcism, do you?”
 What Sam was saying didn’t make since to him. He was implying that he had said yes to the demon as a baby. Who the hell said yes to a demon as a baby? More than that, what demon would take a baby’s yes for actual consent? It was insane to think that and he was sure whatever it was that was bothering Sam wasn’t that smart and was just fucking with him. Dangerous yes but he sounded stupid none the less.
Dean sat back away from the tub trying to run over every known Demon case that he had ever read about or that Dad had mentioned and he couldn’t come up with anything like what Sammy and him were dealing with now.
                     “Are you sure he said he had your consent as a baby? I didn’t know demons                       even needed content Sam let alone to ask a baby for it.”
Pushing himself to his feet he grabbed a few towels from the rack on the wall and walked back over to the tub reaching in to pull the plug so the cooler water could start draining out. He needed to checkout Sam’s legs and see what damage had been done to him. He hoped not much, he really didn’t want to take him to the hospital. There was just too much risk in that.
Sam hadn’t ever heard that either but he guessed maybe it was different if this demon was actually who he said he was and who he appeared to be. He didn’t want to believe that but it seemed more likely to be the actual case here.
“I don’t know, maybe he was lying. Dad always said demon’s life Dean, maybe this one was too.”
Biting his lip he refrained from asking anything else, too afraid that he was going to say something that would make Dean want to call dad or take him to the hospital or something. His legs still hurt, the dull ache of cold ice in the back of his thighs. It was another thing he didn’t want to mention though for similar reasons.
“I’m fine, I promise.”
Looking up at Dean he offered him a smile as the rest of the water drained away from the tub. If he thought he could have stood up without making a fool of himself and falling or screaming in pain he’d have done it. Dean wasn’t a fool though and was going to see right through everything.
 Demons did lie at least that was what Dad had always told them. It was supposed common knowledge that demons were just shitty. They did shitty things and said shitty things, but something about this was weird. He didn’t know why the demon would lie about not being able to get back in Sam. Yes the ritual they had used to get him out had been heavy stuff but there was nothing about it that should keep more demons out of his brother, even less the same demon that had been in him. If it could do this stuff to him then why couldn’t it just get back in?
                     “Alright, pants off, I wanna see how bad were talking with this frost bite.                       I need to make sure your legs aren’t gonna rot off.”
Pushing himself up he grabbed a towel that way if Sam was suddenly finding some kind of modesty he could cover himself up but he needed to know. If it was too bad he was gonna have to take him to the hospital, maybe like and claim it was a hazing prank gone wrong from a frat or something, they made him sit on dry ice, he could figure something out.
 Biting his lip Sam consider telling Dean no and that he was fine. He didn’t want to know how bad things were and if he would be needing to go by the hospital or not. If he did it was going to suck so bad. Standing up he peeled his sleep pants away from his wet skin, letting them fall into the tub.
“It’s not too bad.”
It wasn’t hurt too badly now. It just felt weird and kind of tingling but he thought he would be alright. He even thought he might be able to get Lucifer to heal them if he was what he said he was. It wasn’t something Sam was going to let his thoughts linger on.
“See, I don’t think we’re going to have to cut them off.”
He offered a smile that he knew full well didn’t really show beyond his lips. Still he wanted to take away some of the tension he had added into the room with his questions. He’d said too much and wanted to take it all back.
 Dean reached out turning Sam round in the tub so he could see his legs and make sure that he really was fine. They were still a little cool to the touch but nothing that some warm dry pants, a heating bad and a thick blanket couldn’t fix. It was better than he thought it would be.
                     “Alright dude, strip. I will get you some dry clothes.”
Reaching out he handed Sam the towel he had got and help him step out of the tub so he didn’t fall, that was the last thing he needed him to do. Walking out of the room he crossed the hall and went in to Sam’s, flipping the light on as he went. What sucked was that he didn’t think he could see the demon even if he wanted to. Pausing for a moment in front of Sam’s dressed he closed his eyes.
                    “Dear Michael. I know it has been a while since we have talked but                      something weird is happening with my brother and I need your help.                      I was wondering if we could meet in three hours in our usual place.                      Thank you. Dean.”
He assumed Michael would hear the prayer, he had before when he had needed him but it had been a while. He had gone back to Heaven and he hadn’t heard from him since. He thought he might still be around if he needed him though. Opening his eyes he went though Sam’s drawers grabbing him a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and headed back.
                      “Here you go Sammy. I will grab some blankets and stuff to take out                        to the couch, you holler if anything even looks weird okay. “
Reaching out he ran his hand down the back of Sam’s head pulling him in to place a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to look for blankets.
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