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winterrrnight · 2 months

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“the blue in your eyes” — new beginnings chapter IV

PAIRING: stepdad!soft!rafe cameron x mom!reader

WARNINGS: n/a

EDITH SPEAKS: I am so so sorry for the break I took with updating this! I'll try to be much more regular now <3 <3 please reblog if you enjoyed this and share all your thoughts 💞😊 I am sorry if this feels super boring right now but honestly it wasn't ever really meant to really interesting either 😭😭

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↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

It’s been over one week since Sage joined Rafe’s class. You've noticed the big increase in her happiness; she comes home with a big grin gracing her face, and she proudly shows you her art pieces and small arithmetic and alphabet assignments she did with a huge good star adorning almost each one of them.

“Mamma look, Fafe gave me a star!” She would tell you, jumping around as you look at the star, along with the ‘very well done!’ written next to it.

You’re on your way to pick her up from the school, after finishing up with your own work. As you walk inside the school, you notice Rafe, Sage, and the rest of her classmates sitting in the grass in a circle. You can hear the little children giggling and Rafe laughing along with them. You can't help but smile at the sight; watching Rafe being extremely sweet with the children, always praising them when they do the little things right.

“Okay Sage it’s your turn,” Rafe smiles, handing her a football. “What do you love most?”

“My mamma!” She says, without hesitating even for a second. You softly gasp as you hear those words come from her mouth, deciding to stay here just for a moment more to see how this conversation unfolds.

“And what do you love about her?” Rafe asks her next, the smile still tugging on the corners of Rafe’s lips.

“She is pretty,” Sage sighs. “and she makes me happy.”

Hearing Sage not only call you pretty, but say you make her happy has tears pricking your eyes quickly. A soft smile takes over your face as you watch how Sage glows talking about you, her sweet grin never leaving her, and her little pigtails bouncing when she nods her head. These are the moments when you realize how lucky you are to have Sage in your life.

In the next few minutes Rafe wraps up the class and more parents appear to pick up their children. As Sage spots you, she comes rushing you and clutches onto your legs, hugging them tightly.

“Hey baby,” you smile, bending down to her level as you press a kiss to her cheek. “Did you have a good day?”

She looks up at you and nods her head, a grin on her face. Although you can see she’s feeling tired, her eyes droopy and yawns escaping her lips. “Good day,” she smiles at you, and hugs you. You hug her back, his head nuzzling in your neck. You laugh as you pick her up, her resting on your hip. Just as you get up, you see Rafe looking at you from a distance. You can't help but smile at him, and he waves at you.

A few seconds pass and you’re still looking at him, a smile persistent on your face. Sage’s body relaxes in your arms, and you see she’s almost asleep. You give Rafe a small nod of your head and walk back to where your car is parked.

You set Sage in her car seat, her now being completely asleep. As you close her door, you turn around to see Rafe walking to you.

“Hey,” you smile at him as he approaches you.

“Hi,” he says back, a similar smile on his face. You take a moment to look in his bright blue eyes, the light shining on them to make them seem even brighter than usual.

He takes a look into the car window, seeing the small resting body of Sage. “She’s very smart, you know? And a bright ray of sunshine,” he says, smiling fondly at her.

“I wouldn’t doubt that, she absolutely adores you,” I say. “She comes back home each day with a huge smile on her face,” I sigh, my smile not leaving my face.

“She is just… such a beautiful addition to the class,” Rafe says softly. A moment of silence passes over you two as you steal a glance at Sage in your car, her resting deeply in her seat. The cotton floss clouds slowly shift in the sky, small streaks of golden, hazy sunlight falling on you two.

Just for a second, you see the sunlight strike across Rafe’s eyes, and they seem a brighter blue than usual. Not the usual navy blue, but a sapphire blue instead; the pupil seeming even darker. Your own eyes almost widen at the ethereal sight; it seems as if his eyes just changed colors.

“Uh y/n?” Rafe calls softly. You blink yourself out of your daze and let a small smile grace your face, noticing how the sunrays aren’t falling across his eyes anymore and they’ve returned to their usual dark blue.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing, you just seemed a little lost there… is everything alright?” He asks, furrowing his brows a little.

And it happens again.

The sunlight falls, and the electric blue appears again. But you try your best to not distract yourself much from it.

“Yeah yeah,” you say, “everything’s alright,”

Silence falls over you two again, but it’s short lived before Rafe speaks again.

“Listen I uh… I wanted to ask you something,” Rafe says. You tilt your head slightly, your brows furrowed slightly.

“Hm?” You hum, wanting him to continue.

He seems to be fumbling with his words, not knowing what to say as his gaze refuses to meet yours, his eyes looking everywhere but at you.

“I was wondering if…” he takes a deep breath, and you notice his hands are at his back, and your first intuition is that he’s probably fiddling with his fingers the way he seems so flustered. “I was wondering if you’d like to grab some coffee with me sometime…” He says, and his voice fades by the end of the sentence, the words dissolving in the air around you.

The creases in your forehead relax and your eyes widen slightly as you process the words.

You and Rafe. Out for coffee. That sounds like a date…

“I mean, we don’t have to have coffee, we can go to some other place if that’s more of your thing…” he rambles. “We don’t even have to go to some food place, we can go for uh… movies and such, or uh… an art museum maybe…”

You can’t help but softly smile at him. His cheeks tinted with a light pink as he rambles on, listing possible locations of where you can go as his gaze refuses to meet yours. It feels as if you’re a teenager, your first crush asking you out.

“Rafe,” you say softly, and he looks up at you. “The offer is beautiful but…” you take a deep breath, “are you sure it’s okay for you to go out for coffee with a… a parent?”

“Of course it is,” he says almost immediately. “Don’t think of me as your child’s teacher I just… I would love to get to know you better,”

You can’t help but smile at his words. The idea sounds quite nice to you, not to mention how Rafe has caught your eye since you first ever saw him.

Since you ended your marriage, you were busy with raising Sage, leaving you no time to put yourself out there for dating whatsoever. You barely even had time to even make a simple conversation with someone, seeing how you were always busy with either taking care of Sage or your own job.

But this? It feels right.

“Then it’s okay,” you say. “I’ll love to have some coffee with you,”

You can see how Rafe’s eyes light up; metaphorically and literally as the sunlight strikes against them and they turn the sharp electric blue, but it’s only momentary. His lips pull into a grin and he nods at you. “Sounds wonderful,” he says softly.

You acknowledge him with a nod of your own head, and pass on a smile.

This is good. This feels good.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

taglist: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @lunalitva @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @rafeinterlude @rylie-m @zulema222 @karmasloverrr @leixwhite02 @congratsloserr @rubixgsworld @dilvcv @fandom-life-12 @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @fishingirl12 @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @stvrligghtt @rafegirly @leighbronk @addriaenne @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @crgirlsworld @valenftcrush @lillywildly @julovesurmom @raf3sgff @drewstarkey1bae @aerangi @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment @mellyie + continued in rbs!

(please let me know if you would like to be added or removed! if you would like to be added to my general taglist, please refer the ‘join my taglist’ post linked on top!)

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checkadii · 3 months

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[blearily] might as well

Hi I’m making a hashtag pinned post tm. So uh yeah

My name is Dol/Check, either works! I use any pronouns, don’t really mind, but occasionally I fiddle w the ones I display on profile :]

(If you know me on the tmi sever that changes like. Every month if not every week lmfao)

shhh. I made a strawpage

I’m going to be so honest right now. I don’t know what to put here. info below question mark

Fandoms I’m mainly part of and may have drawn art for:

- The Magnus Archives/Protocol

- (but if you’ve seen my tma art you know it’s mostly Jon. And Martin. Jmart. Sometimes Mike Crew. I had horrible Jonahbas brainrot at one point and want to redraw so many of those drawings because why do they look like anime gi(EXPLOSIONS))

- Malevolent

- No1 Yellow defender

- Trigun

- (IVE BEEN GOING SO CRAZY OVER IT)

- Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware

- (I have a comfort character. It’s obvious who it is atp. I apologize for that (not really))

- Freeman’s Mind

- HES FUCKING INSANE I LOVE HJM I need to start s2

- Ultrakill

- (I can’t draw robots. Or armour. i think I’ve drawn v1 on two occasions and that is it. regardless I consume stuff for it often enough I’m putting it here)

Will be adding more as brainrots fester ig!

fandoms im also part off. i think. shhh: Sky: Children of The Light, DnDads, The Walten Files, Resident Evil, Portal, Starkids ( i <3 NPMD), Rise of The Guardians (yes that one), Transformers (soundwave!!… prime series is also cool), Baldur’s Gate, Disco Elysium, Fallen London (camelot my beloved), Detroit: Become Human, Hades Supergiant, Horizon, DOOM, I like analogue horror, Marblehornets, EverymanHYBRID, Fear and Hunger, Faith: The Unholy Trilogy, The Mechanisms, Left 4 Dead, The Stanley Parable, Welcome to Night Vale, ok i think im done

I have 1 (one) singular tag I use. It’s checkadii, got (hopefully) all of my drawings on that thang. Might add more like ocs, Long Reblog Chains, idk!

I don't post nsfw (afaik??? knocks brain), maybe the occasional “she x on my y” joke or something along those lines, but generally I am not comfortable doing so, but there may be reblogs here and there of posts that may be suggestive or nsfw, most of them are probably shitposts ngl. Still!

General DNI applies: zoophiles, pro-shippers, racists, homophobes, transphobes, "rtca", you name it.

conspicuous glance at camera. is that everything. yell at me in asks ig im bad at responding in a timely manner but i also like talking a lot. Might add a section for brushes I use on csp. Or ocs. Maybe ocs. Please talk to me about my ocs

okay bye

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utahlive · 1 year

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im sorry utah nation. I played videos game instead of working on an episode,, orz

on an unrelated note, I wanted to ask: does anyone have any tumblr themes or ways to make posts chronological? We have roughly 150 episodes of UtahLIVE, and although most of them can be read out of order, there is a timeline (plus it would be more convenient for new readers. Ive gotten a lot of asks about topics or scenarios that have already been answered). If there are any tutorials/themes/tips let me know via DMs or ask box!

additionally:

LETS GOOOOO!!! This is insane! 4000 people... thats roughly twice the size of the student body at my school. I dont know how many of you guys are porn bots, but im still going to take this W. I feel like I should do something special? People usually do community events for milestones I think so if you have ideas let me know?? Otherwise I’ll have something fun to post in the next week.

+ some quick q&a below

avoiding potential lawsuits 🙏

I know this one is meant for Wilbur, but alas thats just how I draw eyes. Sorry my art style gave your fave character cataracts. yeah its permanent. no sorry we cant fix it. um. insurance doesnt cover the surgery so hes like that forever. yeah. sorry

(i do like to mess with how I draw eyes, but the white color is a stylistic choice)

its a psycho-competitive relationship that can be construed to be romantic (but it's not explicit). obviously

anon im holding your hand so tenderly and lovingly. it means a lot that people like my art! more than I can say, which is why ive been trying to figure out how to answer this ask for the past like... two+ weeks since you sent it in! Im probably gonna hold off on sharing my other accounts for a few reasons (there might be some people who already know my other blogs which is fine idc welcome to my twisted mind etc im just not going to advertise them here). My main blog is basically a spam blog where I dont tag anything. I dont really post original art and my fandom art is few and far between. 90% of my work just goes in discord DMs or servers 💀 I think the main reason though-and this may or may not make sense to some of you-is that I don’t want your opinion of me to change how you view the story. This is a super specific example, but for all my fic readers out there: have you ever joined an authors server, and then after meeting them you feel a bit odd about the fic since the creator isnt exactly the person you thought them to be (not necessarily in a good or bad way)? That’s exactly what I don’t want happening with this blog. Basically: Nooo what if you find out about me as a person and realize im cringeeee aaaaa [image of the werewolf transformation (you know the one)] That being said, we’ll see how things go, I guess! At the very least, I’ll probably put my socials out when I’m done here (we got a ways to go before that happens though, so dont even start to worry about that) that was a lot of text for one answer. yeesh 😬 sorry about that

#utahlive #4th wall break #im a creep. im a weirdo #it is crazy as hell to see blogs and artists I really admire following this account #(image of the guy at the party) they dont know we're mutuals #also for the tntduo romantic ask; the implied answer there is that its up to you #I do have my own interpretation and canon but I know not everyone agrees so Im not gonna make it obvious one way or another #sorry for so many non-answer posts the past few days

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 5 months

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tuesday again 12/19/2022

shambling along towards the new year

listening

cotton heads by caravan palace. i think this has been on every spotify wrapped playlist ive ever had. soft and comforting in a way that’s hard for me to describe. this has been part of the background music in some of the softest times of my life, winter-warm and safe and solitary noodling around on some project that involves a lot of fiddling with tiny pieces on a desk. spotify

youtube

reading

houston thrift stores are, predictably, awash with cowboy western novels. mostly it’s every louis l’amour or zane grey possible (no thanks)

jake logan’s SLOCUM AND THE YELLOWBACK TRAIL is number three hundred and seventy nine in the series, which is quite impressive. i am fascinated when a book attempts to transplant a cowboy into an urban environment so we’ll stick with it for a bit, despite a truly horrible sex scene describing a “rigid pole”. there were no onomatopoeia sex sounds which is both blessing and curse bc the intel SLOCUM gathered during this sex scene seemed like a completely different conversation totally unrelated to the sex he was having. she simply happened to come three times in three pages while telling him everything he needed for Next Location.

watching

saw several very beautiful movies in the last two weeks, one of which i liked very much.

youtube

Experiment in Terror (1962, dir. Edwards) has one of my favorite Mancini-composed pieces of music but i had never seen the movie it was from. a neo-noir man with an asthmatic rasp puts pressure on a bank teller and her teen sister to rob the bank by terrorizing them through various means. however, despite successfully playing on a lot of Womanly Fears (unexpected phone calls, driving at night, being alone) the fbi. this is perhaps a bit snide since it is extremely good at keeping the tension up through most of the runtime, the leads all did a good job imo— a letterboxed reviewer pointed out the villain played by Ross Martin has a certain chameleon-like quality from scene to scene and it is really arresting, he pops up in some unexpected places to great effect. a well-shot movie, just a hair longer than i wanted it to be, i don’t think any movie could survive the hype i built up in my head after loving than mancini piece so much, and was not quite the vibe i was looking for on the afternoon i finished it.

dailymotion

in a different noir with an important scene during a baseball game, Stray Dog (1949, dir. Kurosawa). everything you could possibly say about this movie has already been said. mifune is such a fucking joy to watch as a somewhat hapless young cop with a bad case of the scruples. gets his fully loaded pistol pickpocketed on the tram, sending him hither and yon during a brutally hot summer tracking down every bullet. widely available for free. fucking beautiful work of art. deeply annoying when widely acclaimed movies are actually really good

playing

nothing new to report, nothing i want to play has been a free epic game lately. very excited that a character ive been waiting for is dropping in genshin on…uhhhhh…tomorrow? she has sunglasses. she has a gunbrella. she can call in heavy cannon bombardment. she’s just so cute

making

one of the purposes of the tuesdaypost is to remind myself to expand the selection of things i do and my brain partially feels like sludge bc of the time of year and partially bc i haven’t fucking done anything more complicated than scrambled eggs or cleaning things in like two weeks

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Spotify

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loversgothic · 10 months

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Maybe you've done it already and I missed it, but what would Gabriel's two-week-notice look like in the Ultradanse AU?

This has nothing to do with any other comments you have made about feral Gabriel or any other desire to see how he changes from The Gilded Nightingale to The Nightingale.

:3c. OOOHH. WELL

ive been really trying to think about that hard, since comparing the characters to those in fairytales and ballets tended to skew the story a bit.

and uh... my descriptions wont be the best.. im not the best at explaining things in ballet terms moreso just based on my perception of the art form and what i see in it through my eyes.

also im gonna go off of the concept that ultradanse is almost like a stage performance, a show

the most i can do to describe how it looks is to compare it to my vision for the first encounter with Odile/V1... because of the way i designed his lil costume he has a sort of princely look, and even though hes yknow. out to kill V1 because V1 traversed past his warnings, his dancing with V1 then is much more... poised. it might feel a bit distant, maybe it might even seem like hes unsatisfied doing it, as at the time there is no personal connection with V1, no love nor hatred. its not romantic, hardly so. i dont know if this is a good example, but i was thinking abt Prince Siegfried's dancing in Waltz: Tempo di valse...

once V1 is pretty much responsible for his 2-week notice, i like to think Nightingale/Gabriel starts to match V1's high energy, his grace is kinda going out the window... itd be much more intense. if its a pas de deux hes probably getting his fucking hands all over them like hes about to tear them apart. hes abandoning that princely facade. i feel like though in the second half a pas de deux between them would make them slow their pace. now that both of them are dancing together and able to match intensity, it starts to slow down into something more... romantic? yeah :3 i like to think this, this is where any romantic tension starts

now about how he changes from the gilded nightingale to the nightingale. you see... after their second encounter, Gabriel is convinced hes going to die, after all thats what he was told. once he returns from heaven, he seeks out V1 to ask of one final request. he doesn't want to die lonely, and asks V1 to dance with him until the final hour runs out. V1 has no reason to accept his request, other than something pulling at it do so and the possibility it could take a little bit more blood before he's gone. dancing together, progressively Gabriel becomes weaker and weaker.

i REALLY wanted to keep this secret for a scene i wanted to draw but honeeesttlyyyy i dont think its too bad if i share it. after all, im not sharing V1's feelings here. im sharing Gabriel's :3

i had this whole.. plan

my thing abt pas de deuxs is that. i like to find symbolism in the fact that traditionally, the male dancer is supposed to support the ballerina to be able to perform moves she typically wouldnt be able to on her own without someone holding her.

towards the end of their dance, V1 switches positions to hold and uplift Gabriel instead, who has this entire time been in the place of the male dancer. in his approaching final moments V1 lays him down on the ground. he's hardly moving, and V1 holds onto him, finding itself not wanting him to just... disappear.

now im still figuring out HOW i want this to work. but i thought abt V1 in desperation, grasping onto the sides of his helmet and ripping his helmet in half being the symbolic thing that sets him free. the thing about the gilded nightingale, is that the armor is the bird's cage. Gabriel's design in this AU only really has the helmet and no other armor, so it just... makes sense to me. this is what sets him free. how the transformation works though? i am.. still thinking about it. you might need to give me a bit to think about that

#im trying not to make that transformation magical girl esque LMAO BUT ITS SO HARD NOT TOOOOO #.txt #ask #sorry for rambling meoww #ultradanse au #crazy? i was crazy once #im considering redesigning ultradanse gabe a little again im not sure why

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nullbutler · 1 year

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youtube

I NOW PRESENT TO YOU

THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER BEEN ABLE TO WORK ON WITH A PERSON!!!

A vague idea turned into two weeks of animating turned into THIS beauty! It's all thanks to @krejzac , who so kindly offered her voice for this project!

This will be a chapter in the Christlois Fic! I look forward to releasing its written counterpart...but for now, this is the most experimental and dare I say coolest multi media project I've ever done...thank you again for this opportunity and I hope everyone enjoys it :D

THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN HIDING MUHAHAHAHA IT HAS BEEN SO HARD NOT TO SPOIL IT ALL

Happy April Fools, have some genuine genuine art for what should have stayed a joke au

#christlois #christlois art #christlois animatic #YouTube #pmv #alois trancy #ciel phantomhive #black butler #religious cw #Youtube

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rrxnjun · 6 months

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(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

#💌ask #feedback !!#<3

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imaginepostingonsideblogs · 8 months

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okay let's see. uhh.

THE CASSES:

- castiel townsend: the man, the myth, the original bastard himself. w.bg player (albeit unwillingly). has not taken proper care of himself in weeks at any one moment. has homosexual relations with both his his gamerunner and his prize, which makes situations interesting quite a bit of the time. frequently not nice about things, mostly through joking about them both inappropriately and shittily. if he even sits down and thinks about his actions for .3 of a second it's over for him.

pretty extensive facial scarring from sucking ass at trying to blow up 357a.

- cassidy ???: cowboy iteration of castiel. MAY be a fraud. nobodys quite sure if he has the same connection to castiel that most cowboy iterations have to the source of their iteration. but oh well. he's the only cowboy around, and that's good enough. very cocky, very self-assured. believes what he is doing is right and proper all of the time. should not have been let loose with a gun, probably.

no noted scarring, but then again, ive no clue what he looks like naked. haven't mapped that out yet. shh.

- cassius ???: flinchite castiel. refuses to reveal what job he does at the compound itself, but he acts as a very good right hand man sort of figure. actually quite cordial, and not just in a villainous kind of a way. very put together. (this is, as with all casses, ever, a complete and utter lie. just one he's perfected.) actually on pretty good terms with cassidy. minimal death threats exchanged between the two.

missing one eye, which he covers with an eyepatch. no other noted scarring. i think.

- cassandra (has not even considered a last name): ex-compound cas. technically still in the compound. has never left the compound, and isn't looking likely to. but. minimal experimenation going on. so there's that.

capable of seeing all events in history, apparently, though without much rhyme or reason to any of it. every prediction she makes is inevitable (though not always irreversible). also the only cas to use she/her.

seemingly very docile and obedient, but with a decided cunning streak she's perfected the art of hiding in public.

- casper bofa (allegedly): an outsider to this whole scheme. not on good terms with any other cas iteration, but has convinced castiel into doing his bidding more than once. convinced he's able to disrupt the flow of time and pick his own fate. got a lot of hubris that is probably (definitely) going to catch up with him, but oh well. constantly doing his best impression of a mad scientist-esque disney villain, for some reason.

MELANIES:

the only iteration of castiel to share the 357a facial scarring- technically the only one who has experienced the future in which castiel goes ahead with it. which is technically a diversion from the normal timeline anyway.

- melanie "superwholock" lewis: w.bg player. somehow winning. internet streamer who liveblogged her challenges under the pretence of an elaborate arg, and is sososo scared all of the time at being found out. very emotionally intelligent, but cannot lie for toffee. fiercely loyal, and has a tendancy to be an asshole more often than not.

- mel "homestuck" lewis: ex-compound melanie and universal older sister figure. trying to catch up with the modern media kids seem to be enjoying these days, but doesn't wholly get it. tries to be a mediator, but has a habit of snapping at people occasionally, if tensions get too high.

- em "you are not calling me goncharov" no last name: flinchite melanie. technically? also punished melanie. somehow acing them both. very tired, very done with everyone. very, very good at fighting. runs a rather illegal pharmacy that depends off the flinchite funds to basically just give medication away for free. works as a hired gun- er, knife- on the side.

#i aint. tagging them all shh.#ILL IMPROVE ON THIS IN THE MORNING #but. basically. gesturjing vaguely.#bam.

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mjs-actual-blog · 7 days

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you know, i feel like, when making various art online, creating a new identity every so often is a very useful tool for experimentation

like, in my current situation, at the moment. whenever i make music under the fragment moniker, i always feel "bound" to a certain, like. Subspace of musical styles within the greater space of All possible styles. whilst this subspace is one i enjoy working in of course, since the reason im within it in the first place is due to me intentionally starting out making music like that, if i stay there for too long it becomes bland.

this is an issue ive noticed myself running into with the current EP im writing, I / E / S-E, which is a shame! it's a project that, on the conceptual level, im really excited about! i feel for me it explores the very edge of that subspace of mine, and i just like the project overall. but it's getting old! making music in a style and workflow similar to the way ive been doing for almost two years becomes tiring, but since its always the way ive done it under the name "fragment," i feel almost "not allowed" to venture into different styles.

but about a week ago, out of sheer impulse, i created another identity for myself, LUNG*STRIKER, and, being a blank slate, it made me feel free to do what i want for once. hell, it actually helped me figure out what it is that i want to do in the first place! im now planning an EP with a larger focus on acoustic instrumentation, and it just feels so freeing! im able to give myself an actual change of pace, let myself make a complete jump out of that subspace ive been stuck in for over a year, and it is the best thing. it's like starting music production all over again, except with the past experience of producing my previous music

and i think this can be applied to other art forms, too! i feel this self-imposed constraint of sticking to a narrow group of "styles" isnt the most uncommon thing, and qhdirheifh yeah rambling over.

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magnolia-sunrise · 18 days

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didnt have time to make a proper wolfgang wednesday post yesterday as i spent the day hanging out with transgender anarchists but really thats the most wolfgang a wednesday could be-

so belated wip wthursday, im back slowly continuing work on this fashion thing, im hoping to get a bit more done this weekend :"))

with spring in full swing ive been quite busy but in a good way for the past two weeks but im hoping to get back on the horse and work on art more regularly again soon. need 2 draw gay shit or i will die !

hope you've all been doing well and if you have any bomb ass songs you're listening to lately id love some recs as always <3

#also fucking cut myself on my middle finger where i usually rest my stylus hfhss #after this is done i want to go back to building the clinic in the sims 4 so i can start sketching out the comic i started

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kreauxlighe · 1 year

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Serirei Playlist

Hey frens,

so a while back i put together a serirei playlist. ive never put together a playlist for a show i like before and i did things a little differently. instead of it being songs that i think are character vibes or songs i think they'd listen to, this playlist is meant to tell a story. each song is in response to the song before it with alternating POVs (there's an exception where reigen gets two songs in a row and one song is both of them together.)

below the cut I've put together a sort of summary of what i imagine happens in each chapter (song) and how this story progresses, along with fun facts about the playlist itself. i spent like a week putting this together so i hope y'all like it

This can be as post-canon or AU as you want, I think it works well either way. If I had to give it tags I'd give it:

mental health issues, depression, hurt no comfort, angst, hurt/comfort, love confessions, breakups, second chances, happy ending

(the cover art was done by my v good pal @crownorclover ! )

Here's the tracks in order and who the song corresponds to. The play list is arranged in a way that from track 7 on it's meant to be a direct response to the track before it.

(For the MOST part the songs alternate back and forth from POVs but there's a couple that are shared POVs and an instance where reigen gets 2 songs in a row)

Tracks

Over in Love - instrumental (prelude)

Working for the Knife (Reigen)

Control (Serizawa)

Nobody (Reigen)

Agoraphobia (Serizawa)

Hello My Old Heart (Reigen)

Head on Fire (Serizawa @ Reigen)

Ghosting (Reigen @ Serizawa)

Hearts A mess (Serizawa @ Reigen)

Two Birds (Serizawa & Reigen)

That Was Us (Reigen @ Serizawa)

Believe (Serizawa @ Reigen)

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) (Reigen @ Serizawa)

Cold Little Heart (Reigen @ Serizawa pt2) (the first half of this song is instrumental and important (see below) but if you really want to skip it you can go to 4:44 but i’ll be sad about it)

It's Alright (Reigen & Serizawa)

An Act of Kindness (Reigen @ Serizawa)

Rise Up (Serizawa @ Reigen)

First Day Of My Life (R @ S)

You're the One (S @ R)

Total Length: 1hr 14 mins

The story this playlist tells is a bit of their lives before they met, their attempts (and failures) to meet in the middle, and then ultimately their success. I personally hc that Reigen has some major depression going on, a sprinkle of anxiety. (a """sprinkle""".) And it's something he refuses to acknowledge and it becomes a major stumbling point in his relationship with Serizawa.

2-5, a look into where both Reigen & Serizawa are individually, mentally and emotionally, prior to meeting

6, they've met and I imagine at this point have been working together for a while and Reigen's heart is like, oh hello?? And Reigen is very much haha NOPE, we're not doing this, that way lies pain. Like their opening tracks, this is all internal for Reigen, he's not communicating any of this to Serizawa which is part of the problem.

7, Head on Fire, MEANWHILE , Serizawa is definitely falling for him and loving it

8, I imagine at this point they've gotten together, they're dating but... Reigen is still holding back. Not his love so much as himself. The man has some mental health issues and needs to talk about some things and Serizawa can see that and is trying to get behind that and Reigen keeps pushing back. This song is full of mixed signals from Reigen. On the one hand he's saying he's gonna stop hiding, he's gonna open up, he's gonna stop being a ghost in this relationship, and that he WANTS to, but it's hard and he's scared and ultimately, he can't do it. He backs away.

9, Serizawa is basically pleading at this point because, I mean, the lyrics say it well enough, 'you can't live like this' but also Serizawa is like, I can do but so much, at some point Reigen HAS to meet him in the middle.

10, This is the turning point, Serizawa fully believes they can do this, they can make it work, and Reigen says he WANTS to but he's still not brave enough. They break up.

11, Some amount of time passes and Reigen finally tries to reach out, to bridge that gap. He misses Serizawa, he misses what they had, and he wants to try again.

12, Serizawa is, rightfully, a bit unsure. This is a lot of what Reigen had said before and although he never doubted Reigen's feelings, there's a lot of other stuff going on under the surface they can't ignore. He's not expecting Reigen to fix everything, or anything, right away, but he needs him to at least acknowledge there's something wrong.

13, Reigen gets to have a tantrum, as a treat. He doesn't really know where to start with what's going on with him, with why he puts himself in dangerous situations, why he smiles and jokes like everything is okay when it's clearly not. He doesn't have the words for it and just kind of bullshits his way through it (again) and panics. This is probably the one song that isn’t quite as close of a match lyrics-wise as I’d like, its mostly the chorus really but what can ya do

14, The instrumental half of this is key here. I imagine this is Reigen taking the time to actually wrangle his thoughts and his feelings, to work up the courage to be actually honest, even if it's to say he doesn't understand why he is this way. The second half is what he manages to admit.

15, The verses are Reigen & the chorus is Serizawa (until it switches to 'I'). They've still got work ahead of them but Reigen is being more open now, they've met in the middle, they just have to go forward--together.

16, Reigen's still feeling a bit anxious about all of this. Serizawa is SO supportive and patient and they're trying again and it can't be real, can it? He wants it to be.

17, Serizawa promises he's not going anywhere.

18, Some time has passed, they're still together, they're putting in the work, and it's hard but it's so worth it. Reigen is, for the first time in a long time, happy and letting himself feel that. He's not as afraid to open up to Serizawa and it feels like starting over again, but in the best way.

19, Mushy mushy wawa stands by his (probably canceled) wife

Fun Facts:

- There's a bit in Head on Fire, " I've been sitting here, hands on the wire / Trying not to fall, but I think I might" that I think is great and romantic and then hits really different when you get to "Two Birds", oof

- I just think having a song called 'ghosting' when they work at a spirit consultation office is neat

- there’s a line in ‘that was us’ , “But as I watched you fly away from me” that just goes right back to ‘two birds’, double oof

- I really like how "if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say" comes right after Believe, just IMMEDIATELY. And it feels so petty and bitchy in response to everything prior which like, yeah peak Reigen vibes lol

- Hearts A Mess & You're the One have a similar like,,, beat? Tempo? I'm not a music scientist idfk but You're the One makes me think of Hearts A Mess and I like how very opposite those songs are, it makes it feel like it came full circle

#serirei #sr #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #mp100 #playlist

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slytherhys · 2 years

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Strung-Out Heart V

A/N - I've been fighting demons writing this chapter and this is as good as it gets, ig? Hope you guys enjoy it because I'm DRAINED. Also, I promise good things are coming, we're getting rowaelin soon

TW - Strong language, mature themes.

I - II - III - IV

Rowan

If there was something Rowan knew he could always count on it was his job. Maybe it was weird to enjoy it half as much as he did, but something about being able to share his art with people who actually wanted it on their skin was something that made him extremely happy and, most importantly, extremely focused on only that. When he had a needle gun in his hand there was nothing that mattered more than art. There was only his gun, and his canvas – there was certainly no space for thoughts about blondes and tiny dresses and soft lips.

Unfortunately for Rowan, his only appointment that day were two small mountain tattoos on a guy’s knees that were done 40 minutes after he had begun. The parlour closed in two hours so he had closed himself in his office, working on flashes to get his mind off of things for a bit but at this point nothing short of blissful oblivion would help him.

It had been a little over a week since Rowan had last seen Aelin and kissed her senseless before snarling and running away like a wild animal. He couldn’t exactly say he was proud of his actions, but he honestly didn’t know if he could’ve acted any better. He was also struggling to wrap his head around her jealousy. He wasn’t sure what it meant and he wouldn’t let himself hope. Not for her love and certainly not to get her back. He always knew he’d fall easily into her arms again, that’s why couldn’t let himself drop his defences around her.

He had spent so many months of his life wanting Aelin to be back that now that she was here, he was almost afraid of what exactly being around her would do to him; as if having his dream come true would turn him into a twisted version of himself he was too scared to let be.

Rowan’s hand stilled over the stag he was just finishing drawing. When, exactly, had wanting Aelin back become his dream again? Rowan felt jaded, exhausted by his own doing. He had barely slept the past few days and he had been visiting Fenrys’ bar way more often than what he probably should have. He had been battling himself all week, wanting to see her again but needing to stay away. Only he knew exactly how he had felt the night he had kissed Aelin and only he knew exactly how he longed to feel it again. To feel heragain.

A knock on his door pulled him away from any straying thoughts. Lorcan had probably finished his last job considering he was bursting inside Rowan’s office like he owned the place. Rowan supposed he did, but still.

His friend looked eerily pale, his hands jittery as he quickly made his way towards the leather couch by the window, where he sat. His giant body seemed unable to stay still as his hands clasped and unclasped, his foot tapping against the floor. His eyes were slightly wide, and yet he looked everywhere but at Rowan. He waited for his friend to calm down, raising an eyebrow as he watched Lorcan unravel right in front of him. It was sort of amusing if he was being honest.

Rowan knew Lorcan had a booking in less than twenty minutes, so he wasn’t concerned. He has always been someone that struggled with having emotional talks, and from the way he kept clearing his throat – an odd telling that gave him away every single time – Rowan knew that was what this was about.

He wondered if Lorcan was here to speak about Aelin. As far as he knew, there was no reason for him to know Aelin was back in town and there was certainly no reason for him to know Rowan had kissed her days ago. Or had she kissed him? The details were a bit fuzzy. Either way, he wouldn’t care to find out exactly what his best friend would do if he found out Aelin was back in town.

Rowan broke the silence first. “Is everything-”

“I asked Elide to marry me.” Lorcan blurted out, his eyes wide as he finally set them on Rowan.

Rowan felt his browns pinch together, confusion overtaking his features. “Okay,” He drawled as he took in his friend’s pale expression. He had never seen Lorcan acting so neurotic before. He certainly didn’t look happy. “Did she say no?” Rowan asked as softly as he could, an apologetic look on his face.

“What?” Lorcan’s voice thundered through the parlour as he pushed to his feet. Rowan thanked the gods no costumers were in the waiting room. “Why would you say that?” He shrieked, his hand nervously brushing through his hair before settling on his hips.

Rowan sighed in relief. “She said yes.”

“Of course she said yes, you asshole.” Lorcan all but growled.

“You looked fucking miserable!” Rowan snapped, going to his feet. “You’re terrible at this.” He mumbled.

“I don’t think I actually believe it.” Lorcan muttered, his eyes on the floor. “I’ve been going around in a haze for days-”

“Days?”

“And I still can’t believe she’s going to marry me.” Lorcan smiled softly, as if momentarily forgetting Rowan was in the room. If there was anything Lorcan despised it was showing emotion in any shape or form. Rowan still wondered how exactly he managed to find a girl like Elide but then again, he was pretty sure only someone like Elide could be right for his best friend. Rowan grinned, circling his desk and pulling Lorcan to a hug.

“Congrats man.” He patted him on the back, ignoring Lorcan’s muttered protests. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Thanks.” He coughed. Rowan fought a smirk as Lorcan cleared his throat for the tenth time in under five minutes. “There’s…” Lo mumbled something under his breath before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Rowan simply watched him with raised eyebrows until the giant finally broke. “Will you be my best man?” He fired, the words jumbling together to the point Rowan had to take a second for their meaning to finally settle in.

Rowan’s face broke into a shit-eating grin. “Your best man?”

Lorcan shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Fuck yes.” He laughed, pulling his best friend to yet another hug. He knew Lo was probably seconds away from pushing him away, but he couldn’t give a shit right now. He was too happy.

Lorcan patted him on the back as a clear sign it was time for Rowan to step away, so he did. “We’re having a small get-together to celebrate tomorrow. At our place. Will you be there?”

“Of course, mate.” He replied immediately, unable to stop smiling.

Rowan had known Lorcan his entire life and there had always been something eerily cold about the man. They had never really gotten into the depths of it, but what mattered was that the day Elide came into his life a new kind of light entered his best friend’s eyes. They had something akin to magic and Rowan very well remembered the words his best friend had muttered the night he had first seen Elide.

I’m going to marry her.

He was drunk off his ass, having spent the entire night drinking to celebrate Aelin’s birthday. She had been the one to introduce them, having met Elide in college and invited her to celebrate with her friends. He would’ve never have guessed a 5’2 woman would be the one to make Lorcan go speechless, but it was a sight he would never forget.

Rowan also remembered what he had said back to Lorcan as he stared at a buzzed Aelin, but he pushed those words aside and focused on his best friend instead.

The bell from the front door sounded through the shop, followed by a smooth voice calling for them. Lorcan’s next costumer was probably already here, but Lorcan still looked like he was about to have a heart attack at any second now. Rowan offered to prep him while Lorcan calmed himself down. He had a gleaming suspicion that meant Lorcan would call Elide before heading out to tattoo the man waiting by the entryway.

The man was tall and lean, with short raven-black hair. He looked relaxed, his blue eyes taking in the main room and Lorcan’s studio to his left before settling on Rowan. He raised an eyebrow. “Lorcan?” He asked once he noticed Rowan, his eyes roaming his appearance as if he expected something else.

“No, he’ll be out in a bit.” Rowan said, nodding towards Lo’s station. “I’ll prep you, if that’s okay?”

The man frowned, nodding as he made his way towards the leather chair, his steps unhurried. The only noise in the parlour was Lorcan’s playlist playing softly through the shop’s sound system. The man took off his jacket and his shirt, lying down as his eyes went back to Rowan.

“Are you Rowan?” He was surprised to note a slight accent in his question. He looked up to the man, his eyebrows raised. “I checked your social media; I know there’s two of you working here.” He shrugged gingerly.

Rowan supposed that made sense. Lorcan was the one that managed the store’s marketing, so he wouldn’t know much about it. All he did was take pictures of the tattoos he did and even then Lorcan always grumbled about them being too shaky or too dark for their feed, whatever that was. “Yeah, I’m Rowan.”

The man’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Had he been expecting something else? He had never seen that man in his life, but not for the first time Rowan was feeling a bit…weirded out. Was he missing something?

“You’re from around here?” Rowan asked conversationally. Maybe he was from Doranelle, even though the accent didn’t exactly match his family’s.

“Rifchold, actually.” His lips quirked up. “I’m visiting a friend, but it’s a surprise.”

“The tattoo or your visit?”

He shrugged. “Both, I suppose.” He mused. “I didn’t exactly tell her I was coming and I’m not sure she won’t have me sleeping on the street.”

Rowan raised his eyebrows as he put on some latex gloves. “Would she do that?”

He chuckled. “You’d be surprised.”

“She sounds like a handful.” Rowan started disinfecting the area where the tattoo was supposed to before grabbing a razor.

“She makes up for it.”

Rowan raised his eyebrows and smirked, ignoring the implications of that sentence alone. “You guys sound close.”

“Well, we’ve been living together for the past 3 years so I guess you could say that.”

“Sounds serious.” Rowan smirked, his focus on the drawing of the dragon the man was about to get tattooed. “And your friend-”

“Ready?” Lorcan appeared suddenly, his grin directed at the man on the chair. He looked collected and there was a bit of colour to his face, so that was good. The man seemed to relax at his appearance and Rowan took off his gloves so Lorcan could get to work.

“I can’t wait to surprise her.” He grinned back, his eyes following Lorcan as he got his ink ready.

Rowan felt his eyebrows rise. “You’re doing this for a girl?” He asked before he could stop himself.

The man eyed Rowan curiously. “Among other reasons, yeah.”

“Is that-” He started but quickly got cut off by Lorcan’s murdering gaze. Right, not great for business.

“Pot meets kettle.” Lorcan teased, pushing forward when the man raised an eyebrow. “He also got a tattoo for his girlfriend a few years back so it’s not like he can talk.”

“Really?” There was a glint in the man’s eyes that Rowan didn’t exactly appreciate, far too calculating for it to be innocent. Rowan felt himself scowl.

“The fact I got one should make me an expert on the matter actually.” He growled.

“What did you get?” the costumer asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” He snapped, making Lorcan chuckle. Rowan couldn’t help but miss the pale anxious Lorcan that had been standing in his office earlier. “I’m done for the day so I’m leaving.” He mumbled over the sound of the gun, quickly turning back to his office. He probably sounded every bit of the child he felt, but he didn’t care, even if Lorcan was clearly amused by it.

“Bring some wine tomorrow!” He shouted as Rowan left. He could’ve sworn he felt the name tattooed on his ribcage burning as he left the parlour.

…

Going back to Lorcan’s and Elide’s apartment had always felt like a bittersweet experience. No matter how different the entire place seemed, Rowan couldn’t exactly erase all his memories from living there. It was like a part of him had been left behind for others to use, and Rowan had never decided how exactly he felt about it, even if he had been the one to suggest to his friends they take the apartment once he left.

However, going back there to celebrate an engagement felt like a sick prank the universe was trying to pull on him. Mainly when it had only been a few days since Aelin had gotten back – and only a few days after he kissed her. He wanted to be happy for his friends, but sometimes the memories of that apartment felt too real for him to ignore them.

The apartment was packed. There were a few members of Elide’s family there – none of Lorcan’s, but Rowan wasn’t entirely surprised by that – but the majority of the guests were friends of the happy couple. Rowan was on the couch talking to Fenrys when Lorcan finally managed to step away from diplomatic matters, slumping against the couch like he had been running the marathon. He even looked a little sweaty if Rowan was being honest.

“I might beg her to elope.” He grumbled, his eyes focused on Elide. Rowan had been ignoring the petite brunette all day, mainly because she kept looking at him with a weird look on his face. He wasn’t entirely sure what that was about, but he was scared to find out. If he had done something to upset Elide he feared what she would do to him.

“She might go for it.” Fenrys shrugged, taking a sip from his scotch. Lorcan looked at the blond, an intrigued look on his face.

“You think so?”

“She doesn’t look like she’s exactly enjoying her uncle’s company, so I’d agree with Fenrys.” Rowan added, looking at Elide just as she looked at him. She narrowed her eyes before her uncle demanded her attention again. Rowan was man enough to admit he was a bit scared.

“How did you ask her?” Fenrys asked looking way too uninterested for it to be genuine. Rowan refrained from commenting on it, though. Glass houses and all that.

Lorcan paled a bit. “Does it matter?”

Fenrys turned to him, a smirk starting on his lips once he noticed Lo’s unease. “Yes, I think it does.”

“It’s not appropriate.” He quickly mumbled, getting up before anyone could ask anything else. Rowan frowned.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Fenrys groaned, turning to Rowan. “Do you think they were doing it when he asked?”

Rowan snorted, ignoring the blonde’s question. “Doing it? What are you, fifteen?”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Fenrys sighed dramatically.

“Good.”

“It probably happened at the bakery.” Fenrys mused. “That would explain the secrecy, right? No one wants to think about them fucking in the same place they buy their bread.”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “You should find a new hobby.”

“I’m just brainstorming here.” He said, his voice drowned by the doorbell. Rowan wasn’t sure the apartment could handle anymore people and from what he could tell, everyone was already here. Fenrys pulled his attention back to him again. “Maybe at the parlour? But asking someone to get married at the tattoo parlour seems a bit tacky.” He droned on, even though Elide’s shriek sounded through the room.

“Aedion!”

Rowan’s head snapped to the door, where Elide was hugging a frail-looking Aedion. He hadn’t seen his friend in weeks – not for lack of trying this time around – but he looked different from the last time they had been together. There were dark circles under his eyes that Rowan could spot from afar and even his body looked skinnier. His cheeks looked hollow and his smile weak, even though he was trying hard not to let it show to Elide who kept fussing all over him like she was his mom. Before he could even register anything else he was making his way towards Aedion, his eyes focused only on him. The blond spotted him immediately, sending him an apologetic smile before he pulled him to a hug as well.

“Where have you been?” Rowan asked, just as his eyes locked on who stood behind his friend. He was sure Aedion had answered his question, but everything turned to white noise as her turquoise eyes looked up at him, vulnerable and… fearful.

Aedion pulled away, his smile as brittle as before. Rowan did his best to ignore Aelin as he stared at his friend.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a low voice so only Aedion could hear. Suddenly a lot of things seemed to line up – Aedion’s disappearance, Aelin’s return and now Aedion’s fray looks. He didn’t want to assume the worst, but things weren’t exactly looking pretty. Aedion seemed to taste his words before opening his mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Lorcan’s voice sounded through the apartment instead, approaching Elide at a worryingly quick pace. Elide simply rolled her eyes and stepped away from him, reaching out for Aelin’s hand. Rowan simply watched, unable to speak even when Elide sent him an apologetic smile.

“She’s a guest.” She simply said, her brown eyes clashing with Lorcan’s, as if daring him to say something. His best friend glanced at him before frowning at Elide.

“That’s not a good idea.” Lorcan gritted through his teeth, making Elide glance at Rowan too. It was eerily like living through his parents’ divorce all over again.

“I-I can go.” Aelin stuttered, a pretty pink tinting her cheeks. Rowan hated that he noticed.

“You do that.” Lorcan snarled.

“Lorcan, I swear to the gods-” Elide took a step forward, probably ready to lash out at Lorcan when Rowan spoke.

“It’s okay.” He said softly, making his friends stare at him with disbelieving looks. Aedion looked like he was two seconds away from pitying him and he would rather set himself on fire before letting that happen. “I don’t mind.” He said, his voice as cold as he managed. Aelin looked up at him again, gratitude clear on his pretty face. There was a reluctance to her posture that he could relate to.

“Thank you, Ro.” Elide smiled softly, going on the tip of her toes before kissing him on his cheek. She pulled Aelin towards the kitchen and Rowan made his very best effort not to follow after them.

Lorcan approached him, completely uncaring towards Aedion’s presence. “Are you sure about this?”

No, he wasn’t. He had spent the last 8 days getting pissed at himself for not being able to stay away from her and the very last thing he needed that moment was for another round of Aelin Galathynius, but he wouldn’t ruin Elide and Lorcan’s night. Not because of her and certainly not in that apartment. Those walls had already witnessed too much of their stained history.

Besides, it was just a few hours in the same apartment with twenty more people around them. The chances of them even talking to each other were slim to none.

“I am.” He finally said. Lorcan frowned and Aedion looked at him like he didn’t believe him. He wasn’t sure he believed himself either.

................

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