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#this is the layout i'm using rn and i love it
adams-angels · 4 months
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I want to see my man in pain, Adam break down after reader said they want to break up (fluff in the end pls) 😞
I reaaaally enjoyed writing this
I love pain 🥹
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
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Adam POV
It was a normal night. Out talking to some babes. Tellin' them how great I am. Because, well, I AM! HA! I'm the first fucking man! These bitches swarm me. Who am I to deny them. I check my phone a see y/n has text me. "Ugh, what do you want now you needy fuckin'" I can't believe what I'm reading.
"we're done."
My heart sinks. Why is it sinking. I don't care. I'm fucking ADAM!! Adam stands, pushing away the crowd of angels surrounding him and tries calling you. "Come on.. come on, pick up, you dumb bitch." No answer. NO FUCKING ANSWER. His head spins. Panic sets in as. This isn't happening. Not again.
You think you're better than me?! You're nothing! I'm Adam!! I can get ANYONE I FUCKING WANT YOU THINK I NEED YOU?!
I'VE GOT TONS OF BITCHES WAITING FOR ME!
I DONT NEED YOU I NEVER NEEDED YOU!
He tries calling you again. No answer. "FUCK!" He expands his wings and shoots up, smashing through the skylight. He continues to text and call as he makes his away to your apartment. "FUCKING ANSWER ME!" He screams into his phone. By the time he arrives at your apartment he calms himself down, "I can get them back." He thinks to himself as he lands on your balcony. "They didn't mean it. They couldn't of."
As he reaches for the handle of the sliding door his hand shakes. "No, no, no, no." He grips onto his wrist stepping back from the door, being stopped my the railing. He slides down to the floor. "No, no, no...." His voice cracks, fear, sadness, anger. He never let himself get close. At least that's what he told himself. After the second wife also betrayed him he swore he'd never care so he would never hurt. But somewhere along the way, he fell for you. Although he denied himself.
He rushed to remove his mask, feeling like he can't breathe. Once he got it off he threw it aside. Clutching at his chest as tears escaped from his eyes. "No, no, no.." he whimpered. He sat on the floor for an hour. Thinking about you. What he did wrong. If he did something terrible. Why you're ending it. There wasn't even anything to end and yet his world felt like it was crashing around him.
Once he calmed down he leaned forward and sighed. Wiping his cheeks as he stood up and put his mask back on. He reached for the handle, hesitating before opening the sliding door. He sees you in your bed, asleep. He closed the door quietly and just watched you. For about half an hour before he realised how much a creep he's being. He walked into your livingroom. He's been here plenty times before. He memorized the layout.
He walks over to one of your succulents. You loved them. Once he came over and accidentally knocked one on the floor. You were so upset. He didn't see the big deal but he still went out of his way to buy you a new pot for it and a new succulent altogether. Just something to say he was sorry without actually saying sorry. He smiled as he remembered your joy. He sat on the couch and waited.
A couple hours later he heard rustling in your room. He shot up from the couch and heading to your bedroom, freezing at the doorway as he sees you wake. You scream in surprise, falling off your bed. He noticed your phone falling off the nightstand with you. His chest tightens. Your phone. Those horrible texts. "Adam?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" You yell at him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He stands there, feeling awkward. "You want to leave me?" He asked, trying hard to not break his voice. You tut, he watches at you stand, wanting to help but to afraid to move. "You say that like you cared." You snap, picking your phone up from the floor. "Don't look at that." He took a step towards you, reaching out but you recoiled. "Why? You next me nasty shit? Telling me I'm worthless? That I was lucky to -" he interrupted, "y/n, I'm sorry. I just want to know what I did wrong."
Adam braces himself. For you to yell. For you to scream. For you to tell him you love someone else. "I just... I can't... I don't want to be a place holder for you." His shoulders slump down he hesitantly steps closer to you "What are you talking about?" He carefully slides his hand under yours "I don't want to be someone you just use until you find someone better." His fingers interlace with your as his other hand brushes your hair from you face. His breath catches seeing your red, watery eyes "I just want to be... I don't know, Adam."
His hand cups your face. He looks into your eyes and for the first time in eons he chose to be vulnerable. "Be mine?" He watches you shrug. Rightfully assuming you've misunderstood his request he clarifies "no, I'm asking. Be mine." The way you look at him makes his chest tighten in fear. "What?" He recoiled. "I mean, maybe we could start again? Like.. properly?"
"You mean like.. date? What happened to "I don't date. I'm the first man. I have the first penis ever bla bla!"" He glares at you. Of course you'd remember that. "I don't sound like that." "You do." Adam brow furrows in in frustration. "Whatever, y/n, please. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me." He felt pathetic. He was pathetic. "I'll have to think about it." His chest tightened. His heart beating a million miles a minute. You'd see how pale he would be if he wasn't wearing the mask. "H-how long will that take?" He asked, desperation leaking out of him.
"I don't know, Adam." You shrug. The air was thick. He was struggling to breath and needed to get out of there. "I really care about you, y/n. You have to believe me, babe." He kisses your hand before releasing it. "Just.. uh... Delete those texts. I didn't mean any of it." He heads to the sliding door he entered from, opening it and expanding his wings as he jumps off. He looks behind to see if you watched leave like you've done so maybe times before. But you're not there.
It's been a month. A whole month. It should feel like nothing to him considering how long he's been in existence yet it feels like a years. He sees you about. With your friends. Getting groceries. Whenever his eyes catch on to you he freezes. No matter what he's doing.
He can't keep this up. He didn't want to pressure you. Make you feel like you had to choose him. But fuck he needed you to choose him. He was in his office. But he couldn't focus. He was so tired, not being able to sleep well without you. Even if he didn't sleep the whole night it was always nice knowing you were there no matter what. At least that's what he used to think.
He checked his phone to see nothing from you. It was too much. He was alone. You were never coming back. No one ever comes back. Lilith left him. Eve left him. Now you. "Fuck. FUCK!" He picks up his coffee and punts it at the wall. He can't stay here. He needs to find you. He needs you back.
He swung the door open and there you were. He couldn't believe it. He thought you'd at least text him. Not show up at his office! His feathers were literally ruffled, his office looks like a bombs hit it. "Y/n?" He said softly, it was like time stopped for a minute. He wish it did. Then he could scoop you in his arms and never let you leave. He snapped back into reality changing his expression quickly, not want anyone to see a softer side to him. "Come in." He stands aside letting you in to his office. He hates that you didn't text. He would of cleaned up there were documents everywhere, a smashed mug on the floor and coffee stains on the wall. He hated it was such a mess for you. "Bad day?" You commented he grumbled in response. "There are no bad days in heaven." He mumbled as he slumps down on his office chair.
Resting his chin on the back of his hand as he watches you walk over to his office window, opening it. The musky smell almost dissipating immediately "So... I thought about it." He perks up, sitting straight, watching you like a hawk. "And?"
"and I'm willing to start again. Properly." He immediately bolts from his chair, wrapping his arms around you. "Fuck, thank fucking Christ. Don't do that to me again. Please." His voice breaks, wings surrounded the both of you. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll treat you so much better." "Promise?" "Yes, promise."
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
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artofalassa · 4 months
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Tiny Update - WWL/TDDU + PINS
First off - thank you SO very much to all of you leaving lovely comments in the tags on the last (and any other) part(s) of Til Death Do Us / Wolfwood Lives AU.
How's the comic doing?
I decided to favor myself enjoying the work on it instead of spitting it all out asap and having it finished for May. No more zine ready in May for Animefest happening, unfortunately. It's too much pressure and I just. I wouldn't like it. The comic would suffer - both in terms of writing and art. Not to mention I don't ever want to pressure one of my best buds and my personal editor @Squeemu.
This way I can still think of the script a bit more, add new little ideas, enjoy preparing the layout and draw each of the faces in my own time. And maybe splash some colours into some other parts as well again. 👀 I MISS COLOURING STUFF SO MUCH.
The slower pace will also let me rest from time to time, maybe play a videogame and maybe not go crazy when 7R2 is out and I'll be biting table about it, bc I SHOULD BE DRAWING THE COMIC, bc I only have xy days til the end of April. (Trust me, it did happen, I went to bed counting pages, matching them to days in my head over and over and over.... and then broke down.)
So. That said - we are progressing quite nicely now! Even with the crazy amount of storyboarding work I had in Jan/Feb. I am having fun, I LOVE drawing the part I'm working on rn.
What about the PINS?!
Good question! The data's in the manu atm. However, as China's still celebrating Lunar New Year, the factories are closed. But - the break should end on 20th. So we should get some news soon. :)
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accihoe · 7 months
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Deputation Gone Awry
Pairing: Avenger Bucky x Avenger fem!reader
Summary: The title is self-explanatory. But Barnes and Y/L/N go on a mission with Wilson and Romanoff. Things go awry. James and Y/N are stuck in a safehouse together amidst a blizzard.
Warnings: mean and condescending Bucky. Jealousy. Angst. Fights. Fluff. Injuries and stitches. Please don't this read if injuries make you uncomfortable.
Genre: angst to fluff
A/n: As always, my loves, please don't steal my work. Tag me and give me credit if you post my work on other platforms or use my ideas. God bless.
xxxx
"Good girl." Y/N grinned as the cat hopped onto her couch and snuggled up against her thigh (literally my cat and I rn. Her name is Goose.). A knock at the door startled the cat, who ran underneath the bed. "Dang it. Coming!" Y/N called as she got up and went to the door.
"Hey, kiddo, remember you're going on a mission with Barnes, Wilson, and Romanoff. You leave tomorrow. Get packing chop-chop." Tony clapped his hands together to enunciate his words. Y/N's stomach warmed, and her heart pounded when she heard his surname. She packed quickly. According to the list Tony had given her at the briefing in the boardroom.
She went to Steve's room and knocked on the door. Muffled voices quietened, and two pairs of footsteps came to the door. When it opened, Y/N bit her lip in excitement before shifting to the side as James pushed past her. "Hey Y/N/N. Can I help you?" Steve leaned again the doorframe.
"Hey Steve. Yeah. Could you please watch Goose? I'm going on a mission tomorrow." She asked. "Isn't that Fury's cat?" Steve was puzzled. "Yeah. That's why you've gotta take extra care of her." Y/N smiled. Steve agreed (after Y/N made him microwave brownies), and soon, all the belongings of the cat (Flerken) and Goose were inside of Steve's room.
The following morning, Y/N was in the Quinjet. Her belongings stowed away as she sat behind the stick in the cockpit. Bucky came in first. "You're early for once.". "Well, I've never been late, Barnes. I'm actually very punctual." Y/N said as she put her magazine down. James scoffed. "What are you doing there anyway? The seats are here." Bucky changed the topic, realizing he had no evidence to deflate her ego with in the previous topic.
"I'm the pilot." She said. "Yeah, right. You can hardly steer a bike." Bucky scoffed. "Bikes and planes are two entirely different things, Barnes." She sing-songed. "This is a jet." Bucky answered with a sly grin. He finally had something to belittle her for. One slip-up. "You know what I meant. Bikes and jets are still very different things." Y/N sighed.
"They're not actually that different if you compare the layouts and the functionalities. I mean, you've got seats in both, a steering stick in both -" Bucky started. "Okay, okay." Y/N moved out of the cockpit and went to the back of the jet. Bucky grinned in victory. Nat and Sam joined shortly afterwards.
"Where's Y/N?" Sam asked. "Dunno." Bucky shrugged. "She's already been here. It's her magazine." Nat said from the cockpit. Y/N emerged from the back. "Sorry. I was just checking our supplies." Y/N smiled as she stepped into view. "There's our captain." Sam grinned. "Pilot." Bucky corrected.
Bucky's scowl returned as Y/N went to the cockpit. He dramatically clipped in his seatbelt and held on for dear life as they flew to their destination. "You know she's a licensed pilot, right?" Natasha asked, not looking up from the magazine Y/N tossed to her.
"By the way she flies, it doesn't seem like it." Bucky hissed. "I'm able to read." Natasha said. "It's very turbulent. I don't know how." Bucky huffed. "We did just flie through a few typhoons." Nat answered calmly as she flipped a page. "Seriously? We're not hurricane hunters. Why's she flying us through typhoons?" Bucky groaned.
"Because she knows what she's doing." Nat finally looked at Bucky. Bucky resolved to silence for the rest of the flight and was less but still dramatic when they landed. The mission went smoothly, and all went according to plan until Y/N's suit belt hooked onto a rusted lever broke off and fell onto the steel floor.
Bucky grabbed Y/N and pinned her down as the opposition fired at them. Y/N's heart hammered in her chest, but she did not allow her silly crush to jeopardize the mission or her status. So she flipped them over and held Barnes down as she got up and fired single shots at the men, bullets laced with instant toxins to make whoever was shot pass out (unrealistic I know but bear with me).
After several moments of fighting, they ran out with their mission partners just in time to miss the start of the ambush. Amidst an ambush and a quickly approaching blizzard, Y/N lost sight of the rest of the team but thankfully bumped into Bucky. They ran off together, and Bucky hijacked a bike from the ambushers.
Y/N's cheeks were hot despite the snow as she held onto Bucky Barnes. They drove as far out of sight as they could. Y/N managed to locate a safehouse established by S.H.I.E.L.D and gave Bucky directions. Once they arrived at the safehouse, Bucky was fuming. "Why the hell would you put us all in danger like that!? And then shoot them all! We could have interrogated them for evidence or answers!" Bucky yelled at Y/N. Y/N sighed deeply. "Here we go..." She muttered underneath her breath.
Y/N had always been kind to Bucky despite his condescending persona towards her. She looked past it, blinded by her love for the man. He particularly liked to belittle her in front of others. She's no fool. She knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. "And now you're silent!?" Bucky went on condescending and patronizing her, but Y/N heard the exertion in his voice. It got meeker and meeker until they reached the safehouse by foot as the bike could not go through the snowpack.
Y/N noticed the limp in Bucky's step, his right leg particularly. She noticed the discomfort in his eyes when he sat down after checking around and locking the door. She grabbed her medical aid and kneeled in front of him by the fireplace. "Goodness, no, I don't need you messing up another thing. I'm fine. Wish I had Natasha here instead." Bucky groaned when he caught on to what she was doing. Y/N ignored the nauseating jealousy. Bucky looked mortified as she forced him to remove his trousers but allowed him to keep the thermal knee-length pants on.
She rolled the left side of the pants up where a dark red patch was. Bucky hissed in discomfort. Y/N gasped quietly at the wound, getting disinfectant and cleaning the wound carefully. She disinfected the needle with a lighter before stitching up his wound and putting cream and a plaster over.
The whole time, Bucky was complaining. Y/N droned out his voice to focus on his wound. When she was doing up the bandage, Bucky was still condescending her, "You tie as crap as you fly. Ha, that rhymes. But seriously. Did you attend the medical course?". That was it. Y/N ripped off that bandage (not the plaster) and gathered her stuff quickly before getting up and storming off. Bucky scoffed, but he did not even convince himself.
Bucky had several attempts at putting the bandage on properly himself, but he gave in when the pain got to him. Shamefully, Bucky made his way upstairs with the bandage. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw Y/N in her thermal clothing and not the suit. Y/N's mission attire was not nearly at voluptuous as Nat's, Bucky never assumed she had such a fine pair of legs. He watched as she scrubbed at his trousers to clean the blood before hanging them in front of the fireplace.
"You may come in, James." Bucky's heart dropped at her voice. She noticed him and called him by his full name. "I uh.. look, I'm sorry. But I need help with the bandage." Bucky croaked. Y/N sighed as she put her hands on her hips. "Why? I assume you attended the medical course?" Y/N tilted her head to the side. "No.. I didn't." Bucky's dropped his head slightly. "Sit down on the bed which, by the way, I'm sleeping in tonight." She said.
After wrapping Bucky's bandage properly and giving him clothes she'd found, Y/N shooed Bucky out of her room. Out of boredom, Bucky went through files of the agents the safehouse had and their personal lives. Bucky lingered on Y/N's. He looked at her rescuing people and animals. He kept his eyes on one where Y/N held a baby. A brief image of her holding a blue-eyed baby and standing beside him flashed before his eyes.
He looked at her in a pretty sundress. Good grief. How did they know and acquire all this about her personal life? Did she know? Was someone stalking her? Bucky's blood boiled with rage at the thought. Bucky closed the file and put it away as he heard Y/N coming downstairs. His skin crawled as he recognized the sweatpants adorning her lovely legs. Steve's.
"Where'd you get Steve's sweatpants?" He asked before he could think. "I didn't know that they were his. I found them in the drawer." She said. "And you didn't check for any women's clothing?" Bucky snarled. She had it.
"I am done with you constantly condescending me, James Barnes! I have only been kind to you from the start, and all you've done is misuse my kindness. I'm fed up with your constant attempts at making me feel less clever or competent because I can assure you that I am at a much higher level that you make me out to be. I'm aware that I might not be some professionally trained assassin or spy or have any remote form of superpowers or supernatural abilities, but I am far more intellectually competent than most! Mark my words. Once we are done with this mission, I will make sure that you never have to spend a moment in my presence again! You can find yourself a woman who meets your delusional capabilities for accommodating you on a mission! I. Am. Done." She went back upstairs.
Though she was stern with what she had to say, she did not yell or raise her voice. She addressed him calmly and maturely. Bucky felt even worse because of that.
Bucky made little effort to stop himself from going back to the file. His heart launched into his throat. He felt like a cartoon character with heart eyes floating after his lover and a visible hammering heart. There stood Y/N in a 1940s themed dress. Hair curled accordingly. Lips painted red. Her dazzling smile captured his heart solidly. A soldier's blazer, almost identical to his, was draped over her shoulders. If he had not seen her date of birth, he would have assumed that she was from that time.
Bucky put away the file after he had looked through it around eight times. He made his way upstairs after ensuring the door was locked and the fire was out. With a slight struggle to be quiet, he was in front of her door. He knocked quietly. "What, Barnes?" He could hear the frustration in her voice. "May I come in?" He asked. "Why?" Was all that she answered. "I want to apologize to you. Face to face." After a few moments of silence, the door creaked open. Y/N closed it once Bucky was in to trap in the heat.
"I don't know where to begin.." Bucky admitted. "Sit down. You need to ease the usage of your leg a little. And before you say anything, we were taught this in the course." Y/N said. "I wasn't going to condescend you. I swear I'll try my best to never do that again." Bucky said truthfully as he sat down.
Y/N assisted him in elevating his leg. "I don't know why it's so... normal today. My wounds are usually much less painful and heal easily." Bucky said. "It's a pretty deep wound, sarge." Y/N said. "Sarge?" Bucky grinned. "Sorry." Was what Y/N said as she sat down on the windowsill. "No, no, I like it. Takes me back to my golden days." Bucky smiled. "You sound as old as you are." Bucky laughed at that.
"Look, Y/N/N. I should probably start from the day we met. I should never have treated you like any less. And let me assure you, I've never for a moment believed that you are any less, even if I've treated you otherwise. I knew from the start that you were sharp. Smart. Kind. Able. Clever, very clever. Undoubtedly beautiful. And what threw me off is when you were kind to everyone else, and I was new, you were kind to me. When everyone hated me, you were still kind to me. I feared the worst. So I tried to convince myself that you are less than what you actually are, to justify the fear of being mortified by such a real doll. A dame. A babe, as you youngsters say." Y/N chuckled at the last bit.
"I am not trying to justify my actions with nice words! I'm being completely honest about what and why. You looked at me like you were proud of me. Like I wasn't such a worthless undes-" "Hey. Don't inflict any more hatred on yourself. HYDRA created enough negative neural pathways. We need to cover them with positive thoughts. So that we can see more of that smile that charmed ladies into paying for a meal." Y/N said. Bucky looked at the floor with tinted cheeks. "You're a.. what do they call it? Nerf? Nurd. Nerd. You're such a nerd." It was Y/N's turn to laugh.
"I didn't want to make this apology about me. I really am so sorry. I sure don't deserve it, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'd be honored." Bucky said with a small smile. The air in the room was far more pleasant. "I forgive you, Bucky. I forgave you the moment you knocked on that door." Y/N said. "What? Why?" Bucky was puzzled. "Because you made the effort to come upstairs and apologize to me. You could've called me downstairs or buzzed me. But you came upstairs. That alone was an apology in itself." Y/N smiled.
Bucky recognised that smile as the one from the picture with the baby, and the one where she cradled a kitten amidst a rescue, and the one with the sundress, and the one on that 40s themed photograph. He saw her true smile. A sight that he was instantly hooked on. He mimicked her smile. "Could we try again? At being partners in the work field? I really need you on my team. Even though I never wanted to admit it. Maybe friends?" Bucky wanted so much more than friends.
"I'd love nothing more, sarge." Y/N got up and shook his hand. That's where the friendship brewed from.
xxxx
Fin.
Part 2?
Not proofread.
Gif not mine
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desidarling123 · 10 months
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SAB Scene Breakdown: Inej's Hallucination
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OK, so I had actually been meaning to write and publish some meta on this particular scene (and just tons of SAB S2 meta, in general) in the weeks after the second season of the show came out. But life has been crazy recently, so I truly never found the time.
However, I reblogged a certain gifset a few days/weeks ago, slapped some tags on it, and realized there might indeed be some interest in some more #detailed thoughts.
The analysis that follows is at a pretty minute level of detail (and all of course based on MY views) so... take that with a grain of salt.
Also - fair warning - it's long as hell 😂 but entertaining, I hope!
I find this whole sequence in general super fascinating - it's one of my favorite scenes in the second season, and one that's also arguably subject to the absolute worst takes in fandom (iykyk... and if you don't, well, you're about to find out.)
So, let's get into it:
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We start off strong with a very specific choice, made early on: it's not Inej seducing Kaz; rather, it's Kaz who's drawing Inej into this vision.
I get a bit more into the broader implications of that a bit later, but it's definitely important that it's done this way, rather than the other way around.
It's also, very notably, an inverse of this scene from a few episodes earlier:
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What's unique about that previous scene is that in that moment, he's deliberately pushing her away (for reasons, mind you, that she's not entirely privy to, but definitely hurt her regardless - even if she pretends not to care about it to his face later on).
This is different. Instead of pushing her away, he is asking her to stay.
The choice of words is specific too: the word 'disappear' most obviously references her status as his spider. But it might also be an apt description of her own personal trappings, of 'disappearing' when in the throes of trauma-induced pressure.
Some atmospheric details I love:
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Their IRL confrontation was in his office-cum-bedroom (👀shutup), a tiny, crammed space that matched the tension of that scene. This is the opposite of that - the room has a more open layout, imbuing the whole sequence with a more relaxed vibe. We can even see his cane chilling on the table behind him, just in reaching distance.
The DeKappel painting which they jointly stole in the books (and presumably on the show as well) is behind them.
Fire burning as a symbol for latent passion is not exactly groundbreaking imagery, but don't fix what ain't broke, amirite? :P
Malina, very notably, gets the same fire imagery treatment in their own love scene as well:
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Will it show up again in a future season for kanej? Between that and, well, the recurring church imagery, we're in for a tossup, folks
But anyways. Back to the scene at hand.
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You'll notice Inej goes back to a formal stance, hands behind her back, like she's preparing for a debrief or for an assignment. It's for a few seconds, if that, but it shows that she's grasping at some semblance of normalcy in this decidedly not-normal vision.
That facade lasts for all of, two seconds, tops, when he does this:
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It's sexy! It's intimate! There's knives involved!
Okay, but seriously, for the sake of time I actually will not get into a deeper discussion of the ~implications~ because I'm sure it's been done a zilllion times before and it's also fairly obvious lol
Now, the one thing I *do* want to pivot to here is that by this point, both Inej and the audience understand that there is something very subtly yet fundamentally different about hallucination!Kaz.
But what is it?
Speaking on this scene, Freddy Carter had a quote (that I cannot be arsed to find rn) where he basically said that he deferred to Amita when playing hallucination!Kaz because "she (Amita) knows better (than I do) what it is that Inej likes about Kaz"
And what is it, exactly, that she likes about him? The next few gifs tell all, using actions rather than words.
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This is her reaction to him pulling her knives from her. And what I find so interesting is that she is so (rightfully) startled....
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But that is absolutely NOT the expression on his face at all.
In fact, he's remarkably self-assured.
And THAT, I think, is the crux of 'what it is she likes about him', as Frreddy said.
She likes his decisiveness, the single-minded precision with which he operates.
She's seen him apply it to every last scheme, every seemingly-hopeless situation... to damn near everything in the world, really, but her.
But here, in the depths of her hallucination, he does.
There are none of his usual hangups, none of their typically frustrating back-and-forths.
No. Here, he doesn't hesitate. He wants her, and he makes it known.
Striking, sexy stuff, to say least.
Let's go on:
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Nothing to add here except that I'm obsessed with the way their heads turn at the same time here.
It's funny, because for all their personal hang-ups when it comes to physical intimacy, these two are SURPRISINGLY physically attuned to each other.
Goes to show, really, how much both of their problems are in their heads (obviously) -- and how, when they're actually ready to heal, relying on their intuition may be a better approach than getting too cerebral about it.
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Again, Kaz does not break eye contact with her here, and it's such a contrast to what he might have instead done if this were happening in real life - in fact, does happen, in real life, though I'd argue that isn't exactly his fault.
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I love that we get a moment where Inej looks down and sees his hand hovering near her waist, just so that it's made explicitly clear what he's asking for and what the ~implications~ are.
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And then, she says yes! Enthusiastically, I might add.
Not but seriously the sheer want, the little touch of eagerness on her face kills me here. She's never had this experience before - has only ever known men violating her in the most horrible way possible - and yet this tiny little thing, of Kaz asking her for consent, means so much.
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Oh my God Kaz is so sexy here sorry no words anyway carrying on.
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Now even after she said yes you can see this sudden little beat of hesitation on her face, like she's maybe not sure what's going to happen or if Kaz is going to do what she asked. For her it's a moment of incredible vulnerability, even though Kaz is the one sort of making the advances on her - because this one time, she actually gets to say yes.
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I think that shot of his arm going around her waist is so gorgeous and so sensual - but as we pan up we can see that maybe all isn't well.
Now, Amita also really does a fantastic job at portraying the turbulence of Inej's emotions -- she goes from clearly wanting it and saying 'yes', to visibly panicking once he acts on it. We see her shift around in his grip and even swallow nervously, blink-blink-blinking herself back into the moment.
Her response is reminiscent of this passage from the books:
But what might have happened if he'd spoken that night? If he had willingly offered her some part of his heart? What if he had come to her, laid his gloves aside, drawn her to him, kissed her mouth? Would she have pulled him closer, kissed him back? Could she have been herself in such a moment, or would she have broken apart and vanished, a doll in his arms, a girl who could never quite be whole?
You can see the very beginning of that sort of panic start to set in, here. This is completely uncharted territory for Inej - her own desire, the shame and baggage that comes with it, is all getting uncovered for the first time in what is arguably the 'safest' way possible - within the confines of her own mind - and yet, she's still panicking.
More on that in a bit. Let's keep going.
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Anyways well Freddy's got a huge hand sorry anyway 
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I love the way she closes her eyes here. And you can see again it's not without effort - like there's still conflict within her, you can see all of those different emotions warring within her - but she is trying to let herself have this moment. She's trying to take comfort in this touch that she so desperately wants and yet hasn't had any sort of good connotations with in recent history. 
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She also opens her eyes just as he starts to lean in and I think that was a great, deliberate choice on Amita and Freddy's part.
It's that precise moment, really, when it becomes super super clear to her what's about to happen.
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No notes, I just really love this forehead lean, it's that little bit of tenderness and intimacy that she's been subconsciously craving.
 Again, it's fascinating to me that we can see all of Inej's nervous tics coming into play here, but for hallucination!Kaz there's absolutely no hesitation at any point whatsoever.
It looks like, for all intents and purposes, he is going to kiss her.
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And then at the very very last second you see him move back, ever-so-slightly --
and then she moves all the way back and delivers her line:
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Ouch. Like a punch to the gut. True, but still ouch.
Now one could probably ask, in hypotheticals: why didn't he actually kiss her at this moment? And the answer to that simply is: this is her hallucination, you know? Even though she's not conscious of it (she's dying lol), she's the one with all the power, here.
And truthfully, whether she knows it or not, nothing is going to happen in her hallucination if she doesn't want it to.
But wait, you might say. Doesn't she want to kiss Kaz?
Like that original excerpt from the book indicates, it's complicated. Everything pertaining to desire generally will be, for her.
Not that her subconscious doesn't put up a good ol' fight. Hallucination!Kaz, you have to remember, isn't so much Kaz as he is a very precise amalgamation of her own memories and desires.
And boy, does he make a good argument:
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The word want, again, spoken so directly here - it's that sort of straightforward speech that neither party is actually really capable of (at this point) in their arcs, not when it comes to each other.
Again, Kaz is behaving perfectly in the prescribed character of his hallucination persona - direct, confident, not rattled in the slightest.
It's interesting also that he doesn't say: this is real. He isn't able to lie to her in her own fantasy, but he does instead tell her exactly what she wants to hear, which is arguably even more dangerous.
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And what I feel so terrible about is you can see this tiny little spark this little bit of hope on her face that she has.
She wants to believe this so so badly. She wants it, damn it!
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So this time, she actually moves closer, crosses that distance between them. 
You can't see it super well in this gif, but you can see a little tiny muscle twitch in her jaw, a nervous swallow as she's bracing for him to kiss her the second time. And once again, Kaz isn't hesitating, there isn't any note of that discordant thing that they have in real life from his end.
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Now another thing that drives me crazy is people claiming that they did kiss in the scene like bro. Bro. Freddy and Amita did not shoot this scene at no less three separate angles for you to tell us that they kissed!! They didn't kiss, they make it incredibly obvious that they did not kiss, and if you're the one person on planet Earth whose definition of a kiss is front lips brushing for .0000000002 seconds then I'm sorry, you belong to a different category, okay?
And again, that was on purpose! It totally would have defeated the purpose of this particular sequence if they had (and would've given detractors of this scene a real leg to stand on - again, more on that at the very end.)
But as it stands, they don't kiss, and that's also kind of critically why this isn't just a sexy scene to watch back.
AND THEN (I'm out of allowed images HAHA) she pulls away. And she says the words that end it all - This isn't real. This is the poison.
The premise of the hallucination is completely shattered, and she looks so heartbroken, but she's finally able to articulate what she's really known this whole time, and that is that nothing she's seeing is real. It is a lie being fed to her by her poison-addled brain as her body slowly succumbs and dies (dark).
But you know, she does get out of it through sheer willpower, and we love her for that - but oh man but what cost?
This particular sequence is definitely a catalyst for her changed behavior going forward. I do actually wish it had been a little better handled in the show (as in, better supported by dialogue in scenes before and after this one) but regardless - this scene is a Big Tipping Point and starts what is essentially a pseudo-regression arc for Inej (paraphrasing Amita directly, bc that's truly the most apt description of Inej's behavior for the rest of the season.)
It's really bad timing, unfortunately, because it happens just as Kaz is starting to open up like never before. He's starting to see the world in a completely different light while she's doing the exact opposite -- she is shutting down her own dreams and desires when it comes to him, because she's come to the conclusion that it's simply not going to happen.
And you know what, she's not entirely wrong for that assumption, but I do have beef with some of the particulars of how it was executed in the show. But that's a discussion for another day.
Now, onto a brief rant that I alluded to at the very start of this post - my single biggest grievance with fandom is that someone on the internet decided that this scene somehow ‘erased’ Inej’s trauma, when in fact that exact trauma is what underpins the whole damn thing.
The fact that this scene more or less parallels the passage from the books beat for beat, shows, in my opinion, that book fans who make these claims of 'erasure' must have deliberately chosen to ignore this passage from the books, or never even read it in the first place.
Because frankly? Once you take that passage into consideration, the intent of this sequence couldn't have been more obvious!
Just to underscore my point, I want to ask anyone who's reading this to please compare and contrast Inej’s hallucination with Matthias’ dream. If the intent, as many so often like to claim, was simply to make this moment in Inej’s mind a sexy, titillating scene, well then, it would have been shot a lot more closely to the way Matthias’ dream was shot: there's no lack of kissing and even implied penetration (!) which is crazy, because of course, Matthias and Nina have gotten nowhere near that in real life.
There's a sexual aspect to her dream, for sure, but it's not a stereotypically-passionate 'sex dream' so much as it is a thinly-veiled reading into her own desires and the inner turmoil that comes with it.
There's also a very subtle undercurrent here that I picked up on and explore in my ongoing fic , which is that Kaz, in these fantasies, is really always the one taking the lead, so to speak. Inej is not pulling him close or asking to kiss him - and we see that even when she consents to the act, she looks like she's bracing herself for it, rather than excited that it'll happen.
That is fueled no doubt by 1) her realizing it isn't real but also 2) the fact that she is still very much in the middle of her own trauma (having been freed like what? mere days ago? if that?)
Any concept of her own independent desire is still saddled with IMMENSE baggage - and this sequence showcases it perfectly.
I think after the fact, she's consciously aware of 1) but not yet aware of 2) which is beating around in her subconscious and is probably gonna cause her WAYY more problems going forward lol
TLDR; Inej doesn't know it just yet, but she's got loads of her own issues to work through, and until she does, she's going to be stuck in this weird purgatory of being a voyeur to/of her own desires.
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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 4 months
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btw ella how has your experience with neocities been? is it hard to work with? and can you keep adding pages forever? i've been thinking of making one but i'm tech illiterate and scared lol
o i rly love it its complete freedom to me ^^ u can add pretty much as many pages as u want, i think there's a limit eventually but it'd b hard to reach, i have 40-ish pages rn and it sstill says i've only used 144kb out of 1g. i feel like html is way easier than it seems !! i learned it when i was so little like 9 or 10 and by the time i was 13 everyone i knew was an html/css whiz cus of myspace n whatnot. html is just learning how to copy/paste the right thing into the right spot lol. html is just googling stuff.. So dont b scared just dive in its the only way to learn :]
o i was searching for this site sadgirl something or other that has html lessons and i found this! https://sadgrl.online/projects/layout-builder/ it's a layout builder that makes it easy to start a site without knowing much at all ^-^ how dope!! everyone make a site pls...we could have a neocities network...with animated links and everything ooo i can see it in mymind shining so bright +++
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tallsc · 6 months
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AvM Ep 33 Commentary
Gonna do a little bit of commentary and whatever important points I notice while watching through the episode, all below the cut so AVM EP 33 SPOILERS BELOW.
I actually love getting to see what more blocks do, not just the command block + lucky block cause a lot of these seem to have different effects and that's awesome. The chaos of this episode is absolutely gonna be Red's fault isn't it though, I see you sneaking off there.
Guys. Guys Yellow canonically sleeps. At some point they have managed to sleep. This is a miracle.
Red just flung the command block away to some random place is this gonna be important later? Also the creeper bee keeps showing up so that feels also important probably
Red just broke a universe oh n o and kidnapped the sentient-looking lucky orb thing
Wait they changed the layout of their house??? Why does Red sleep in the same room as Green???? Does Blue not sleep on the floor anymore??????? NOOO BLUE DOESN'T SLEEP ON THE FLOOR NOOOOOO
Also 1 I love how the orb block creature is animated and 2 they look kinda scared from my perspective, which makes sense if so cause they just got dragged to a new universe and there's this stick thing (which looks a lot like the kind of creature that kidnapped them last time) trying to get them again.
Orange is fighting much more defensively than usual, first three moves I see from them is to block an attack on Green, catch Red (justice for Arcade Games) and take out another shield.
Everyone's gotten very good at this though, I love seeing them employ their skills cause they've all gotten a lot stronger as time goes on. Blue with the potion, Yellow with even just the normal command block, ect
Oh no they've all been eaten IS THE BEE OKAY THO WAIT NO THE BEE'S BEEN TAKEN NOOO the bee's kinda okay though
Oh and you've taught the shiny chaos orb who doesn't seem to like you guys at all how to make block staffs that surely can only go well, I love the effect on the lucky block environment though it's so cool.
Red. Red did you learn that from Green. Using a pick to break lines of blocks coming at you so you can get closer to an enemy. Green used that on you Red. That feels very familiar.
Green that doesn't seem the most useful block to GREEN YOU JUST KILLED PEOPLE WITH MUSIC. THAT'S TERRIFYING. CAN YOU JUST SING SOMEONE TO DEATH???? LIKE WOULD THAT WORK UNDER YOUR OWN POWER IF YOU WERE GOOD ENOUGH AT IT??????
Blue the most acrobatic just pogo-ing their way to victory, also the slightly 3d shot of Red's sword in a standstill is interesting.
Please creeper bee don't explode by the end of this you're so sweet you make the ghast happy you make Red happy you make me happy you make everyone happy oh there you go into the hive
Red silly also Red's got two now, hoping they don't get to bring these home cause these seem overpowered if everyone's got them all the time
HA RED AIN'T POSSESSED BY HEROBRINE THIS TIME HEROBRINE'S CONTROLLED BY RED
Idk I'm probably gonna have to watch this fight a couple times I'm just enjoying the show rn, a lot of different fighting styles coming into play, a lot of interesting stuff you can put in the staff, a boat fighting people, tis fun.
How nice they put all the blocks back and surely the shiny chaos orb won't do anything wrong and is definitely not going to kill everyone with their newfound power
Just love the fighting styles used in this, Yellow and Red teaming up, Red helping Orange out, Green thinking with portals and grappling hook adjacent, Blue doing acrobatic flying, Red and Orange are embracing the powers of Herobrine and the Warden respectively, it's all great
Bedrock cages are kinda rude though smh SOMEONE GET THE BEE THE BEE SHALL SAVE US ALLLLLL MAYBE THE CHAOS ORB LIKES THE CHAOS HYBRID BEE
Wait they actually did get the bee I wrote that before Red did anything NOOOO THE BEE NOOOOOOOO THE BEE'S NOBLE SACRIFICE o7 you were my new favorite character gone but not forgotten
Yellow just looked so annoyed while waiting for their bedrock to break
THEY MADE A MEMORIAL TOO THANK YOU o7 bee I must draw fanart of them soon
On one hand f a i r but on the other you never got after Blue or Yellow that much for causing trouble, give Red a break they did save you all at least
Anyway ye there's my thoughts on the initial episode and most things I noticed off the bat, now time to see what other people think
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lunicho · 2 months
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Saw this on another blog and wanted to send it to you too ☺️
Pick any 5 moots and describe them using 3 words! <3
ooh this is so cute, i love when ppl ask me to talk abt my moots cuz i love bragging about them!! the hard part is picking 5 moots to do this with hmm
@adoresol - passionate, honest, and devoted. i have actually been good friends with her for a good like four years now i think omg so there's many words to describe her but i think these are the best ones for now. she feels deeply and is very genuine in her emotions which is something i admire about her. she's also extremely honest, i love this about her because if i ask her something she'll be straight up with me. she's also very devoted bc like why is she still my friend LMAOOO she's so loyal and just like!?!?!?!?!?!??! my pookie wookie bear fr, i've told her so much cheesy corny shit abt how i feel abt our friendship so i'll spare y'all
@kissohee - its so hard to describe her with just three words! but i would say chaotic, lovable, and genuine. i never feel stress when talking to her and we've grown comfortable with one another quite quickly. i think we just have had this connection from the beginning and she just made me so so comfortable. she's also so loveable like im gonna hold her hand fr she's so cute. and she's so genuine, i always feel that she means everything that she says and it makes me even more comfy with her. she's also just like me we're both so random and we both talk a lot so its the perfect pace for me. the convos are always so fast like idk if ppl would be able to keep up with us and how much we switch topics LMAO but yeah! i hope that we just get closer and closer in the future and that she's always happy <3 (also open-minded would be a rlly good one for her but only her and i know why and that's the way its gonna stay LMAO)
@sminiac - saiii!!! i never include her in my moots posts so i wanted to this time :3! i'm gonna say kind, inviting, and adorable. she's literally so so kind, everytime i send smth or interact with her she's like "my dearest bunny!" AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO SO HAPPY!! she's always so sweet to me and like idk smth abt her is just so adorable. plus her blog rn is so adorable i love the layout. i do still get anxious to send too much stuff and things like that but ur so so welcoming and inviting that ik im always welcome but im scared to be annoying LMAOGDJ. i hope we can yap more and more abt 8turn tgt and just chat some more!!
@bubblegyu00 - energetic, humorous, and chatty,, our convos are extremely fast paced and go on for the entire day. i'm always laughing at smth or we're always losing it over smth someone did (usually a zb1 member or nicho tbh). she's energetic and keeps up with my pace and i do the same with hers. she also makes me laugh which is why i said she's humorous. we're always going on and on abt the same 3 things yet we never get tired of it like its gonna eat every single time PLS. BUT YEAH she's super fun, her nonnie to friend storyline is very very iconic and i love that for her. can't wait to keep screaming about kyungmin over and over <33
@xhdream - we've started to talk in the dms now and dinna's such a sweet girlie :(. i would describe her as easy-going, charming, and friendly. dinna's sooo so cute and always so sweet to me and she has been since the beginning. talking to her has been so fun so far cuz she's very approachable and she engages in the conversation so so much. our time difference is very big so we have to catch each other at a specific time but it's worth it everytime. there's just something about her that's so fun and so kind and that's why i said she's charming. her and her blog just have this good and sweet energy that i really really enjoy <3
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mercury-lurks · 8 months
Note
opinions on 17776 :3c
ive never loved football more. anyway you asked for this.
Opinions on story:
I love what Jon Bois did!! So much!!! The concept of humans living forever and just doing FOOTBALL?? INCREDIBLE SHOWSTOPPING I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! Having the main characters be satellites was a move I was not expecting but HOT DAMN did it work!!!
Opinions on characters:
JUICE: MY BOY MY EVER MY THINGY!!! ham and cheese ham and cracker mwah mwah mwah love juice. Love forever.
Nine: poor bby. hold. forever. i wish i could give them infinity battery pleeassseee!!! they need to see Nick and Manny get to San Diego together!!! WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN I'M NOT CRAZY (<- IS CRAZY)
Ten: OLDER SISTER EVER!! THE OLDER SISTER EVER!!! I would literally die for her I love Ten I love her Ten my beloved.
Nancy: NANCY YEAHH FUCK YEAH I LOVE NANCY
Hubble: :)
Nick and Manny (must not separate): RHEJFJEJDJDJJFFN FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL!!!! THE FOOTBALLERS EVER!!! I AM GIVING BOTH OF THEM 10,000 MINUTES OF OBT RN!!! THEY DESERVE TO WIN FOOTBALL!!!
Sharks: I CAN'T REMEMBER HER NAME WHICH IS SO SAD BUT I'M BAD WITH NAMES ANYWAY I LOVE HER
500 Ball Girl: SHE DESERVES BETTER
The Bulb: rip you were gone too soon 😔
Tucker: LMAOOOO
Other Opinions:
I love the format of this so much???? The Google maps/Earth style videos and layouts was so cool???? He did not have to go so hard??? What the fuck???
LOVED that the videos didn't require sound to experience. I LOVE SUBTITLES!!!!
NOOOO FLORIDA IS UNDER WATER POOR NINE 🥺🥺🥺
That Koy Detmer game was so cool fuck that guy for burning those balls tho.
Also I thought it was really cool how when characters are talking about nonspecific people they always use she and her!! Like!!! Wow!!!
Boredom is a 911 call worthy offense lmaooo I mean yeah I get that!!! Truth!!!
SAN DIEGO STATE GOT FUCKED OVER SO HARD BUT THE GAYS ARE TAKING US TO THE FINISH LINE!!!!
That lighthouse hiding spot from UAB??? SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE ETC ETC
What the fuck is up with Illinois chess. What the fuck. I love it but what.
LMAOOO that guy that just walked off the field no hesitation I get you friend you're a real one.
I am literally so upset about Nick and Manny. They will Not be able to get home together for THOUSANDS OF YEARS I'm going to die and scream and suffer painfully please boys I don't care if you never come up in the storyline again just walk off the field and be gay together please please please get the balls to San Diego line and JUST WALK OFF PLEASEEE!!!!!! :(
@eldritchdemonfox pinging you for your thoughts as well
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vintagelacerosette · 6 months
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Tag game Tuesday/picrew catch up!
Oh how I've missed doing these! Thank you so much to these sweetpeas who tagged me to do these tag games/picrew. Lyle @milkovetti Michelle @michellemisfit Bri @y0itsbri Evie @energievie Julia @juliakayyy Georgia @iansw0rld Kat @mybrainismelted Nosho @creepkinginc Cross @crossmydna Willow @ian-galagher Lyds @ardent-fox Vey @look-i-love-u Molly @deathclassic Jay @surviving-maybe 💕
💟Name: Myn/Shermyn
#️⃣Age: 27
🗺️Location: Sydney
🧥Do you own a robe? Describe it. Yeah a pink silky with lace trim one my older sister gifted me as my maid of honour gift 🥰
☕️Do you have a favorite mug? Describe it. Why yes! It's one of my prized possessions! My Gallacrafts mug I made art with the darling & talented Ling @lingy910y
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🧣Do you have a favorite blanket? Describe it. You know I don't think I do & that's tragic 😔
🍵Coffee or Tea? Tea
↳🔥🧊Hot or Cold? Cold it's been so damn humid & dry in Sydney rn 😓
🧦Fuzzy socks or Wool socks? Wool
🧤Gloves or Mittens? Gloves but the fingerless kind so I can scroll/read fics on my phone lol
🔥Fireplace or Campfire? Fireplace
🌞🌜Sun or Moon? Both baby! They work in tandem to give us life ☀️🌙
🍬Chocolate candy or Sugar candy? Sugar 🍭
🥐Sweet Pastry or Savory Pastry? Sweet
🎃Peppermint or Pumpkin Spice? Peppermint. I haven't had pumpkin spice before
🛏️Go to bed early or Wake up early? Wake up early but i don't sleep early to make the happen 🥲
🥣Cold cereal in milk or Hot oatmeal? Cold cereal in milk I especially love the sweet ones. American cereal certainly hit the spot with their cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms 🤤
🍞Potatoes or Bread? 🥔
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And Finally…
🚬 Gallagher or Milkovich? It'll have to be MIlkovich even tho objectively the are more terrible ones than good. But to be fair the great stole my fucking heart 💖
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Picrew
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Which character from any media would you like to have as a father? 
I think Johnny Rose from Schitt's Creek would be a funny dad plus loaded 🤣
If money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?
I'd love an otter omfg they're so damn cute 😭
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What is your Chinese takeout order? 
Sweet & sour pork & spinch noodle with wild mushrooms.
What's your favorite emoji?
🥹 I'm particularly fond of this one bc it's the marvelling of beauty for me
Would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?
I think greenhouse. I think would be so soothing & I feel like I need more plants in my life hahaha
What childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?
Cardcaptor Sakura 🌸
What was your tumblr like when you first joined?
I joined 2012 it was so aesthetic & I wished be one of those vintage aesthetic blogs hence my tumblr name lmao. I kinda got confused & scared how to use it so i stopped for 2 years. So i missed out all the fun drama i guess lol. Then I started using it as like a scrapbook of things I liked hahah
What clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?
50s but I feel that would be such an effort to pull off
If you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?
Pokemon but like in the switch games. I've been playing too much instead of sleeping lmao
What is your favourite piece of art? 
Idk if I have a favourite but one that impacted me in high school was a piece called 'Atomic: full of love, full of wonder' by Nike Savvas. Funny thing is that I got to see it in person may 2 or 3 years after seeing it in a high school text book & having to do essays on it. It was by complete accident & I had no idea see was displaying her work in our national art gallery. It was magic to see a piece irl after studying it 🥰
Do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?
My bestie jusr got me this steel pink hello kitty tumblr that was a collab with a bubble tea shop! I love it I take it to work 💖
What fanfic trope is a quiet fave?
I think time travel with younger selves meeting their older selve & seeing how they fot their happy ending 🥰
Do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?
Yeah a carry bag for work. It's this tote bag another bestie got me for my last birthday. It's really cute. It's pink & mint green with a cluster of cute things like teddy bear.
If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?
Respectfully no ❤️
What is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?
I'd say mafia au especially bc of the amazing fic by Kay/Shamelessquestions, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher.
Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?
He sure could! He's our swol lil man
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Look at them guns!!
Who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?
I kind have this tie between Fiona getting it or it being passed to Liam & Franny to keep the legacy going
Not tagging any bc I'm late but if you see this & you want to go ahead starlight 🩷
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starlitaritican · 3 months
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Sheezy.Art
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Sheezy opens today for 250 new members for their beta at 2 PM EST along with a stream :3c and I think if things go well they plan to have more openings every friday??
https://sheezy.blog/registrations-open-tomorrow
https://github.com/Sheezy-Art/sheezy-hub/wiki
The past week has been nothing but lovely since coming back and I'm so excited to meet more people 💕its like a beautiful blend of old DA, tumblr side blogs, TH's pretty customizable pages, and bluesky's custom feeds. They're against AI and NFTs too. Obviously its still in beta so there will be bugs that need to be worked out, but so far everything seems incredible
currently there's a limit of being able to post 5 images every 24 hours, but honestly?? that's been amazing so people don't flood each other out too much trying to catch back up. lets you easily space out your uploads and find others easily
I really hope it continues to thrive and everything goes well. Its been so long since I've really had a place where I felt like I fit. I hated twitter with a passion and struggled to get into tumblr since I'm not really someone who reblogs funny stuff since that's not what I'm here for. The only way to really get noticed is to hope and pray someone more popular reblogs your stuff which :'D. I still absolutely love toyhou.se and have been enjoying bluesky so far, but they aren't exactly meant to be art gallery sites and have that kind of community.
also if u do decide to join I highly recommend TweakSheezy its super nice for tweaks you might wanna make :D
screenshot of my profile layout to give an idea of what pages can look like...mines a bit of a mess rn and I need to mess around with HTML more but LMAO also you get a little pagedoll :3
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the browsing area. I have my maturity level set to general, but there's ones for mature and explicit. You can choose to have mature content blurred as well even if you have it switched on
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you can have little custom pixel icons by your username that stay with it where ever u post :3
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you can also make silly little pin boards of things ur interested in, art you've gotten, or just random memes if you wanted to its so funny how I've been seeing people use them
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I turned mine into a shrimp tank that people can draw a shrimp to put them in the tank, and it leads you to their profile when you click them (bc yes you can link credits to the images!!!)
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dailyfigures · 4 months
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hi! sorry if youve answered this b4 (i scrolled back a while and didnt see anything related to this) but! i was wondering if you have any tips on running a "daily [thing]" blog! like... any tips on setting up the queue, preparing pictures, finding good databases, etc! i really love how detailed all of your posts are and how organized it is, its really inspirational! i hope you have a great day!
oh thank you so much that's so nice of you, i'm really glad you like my blog!!!
as for advice, it really depends on your subject ofcourse but i'll share some general things i stick to with my blog!
firstly it's important to be mindful of credit. i only use official promo pics, not only because they look good but also because it'd cost a lot more time and effort to ask people permission to post their pictures and add credit to every image. i'm lucky to have a hobby that has a very organised database (myfigurecollection) but i'm unsure whether you'll be posting about figures or not so it's hard to say where you will be able to find good official pictures.
i personally like all my posts to be as similar as possible layout wise. i avoid logos on images, i use the same caption format, i crop images to be the same size and i try to use the same type of images if possible (full figure pic + closeup is my fav but i'll do full figure front + back if there's no closeup pic available).
i make sure to tag everything correctly. character name, media name, media name + character name, manufacturer (and any variations of all these (nicknames, acronyms, etc)) and my general tags. make sure you tag correctly because people get annoyed if you clog up a tag with unrelated posts and they will block you!
setting up the queue definitely takes the most time! i personally find it relaxing to do tho so i don't mind spending a lot of time on it. i usually put on a youtube vid or something in the back and use my phone to type my captions while having my laptop/tablet open with the figure info so i can work without having to switch apps on my phone every 2 seconds. probably not good for my brain to use 3 screens at once for hours but let's not think about that!
that's everything i can think of rn but do let me know if you have any more questions! thanks again for your nice ask and good luck with your blog!!! :)
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Hi !! I’m binge reading all your writing rn and I’m still looking obsessed <3 I’d love to request any of the crows x a reader who’s an identical twin, their twin is very outgoing and knows the crows well as they’ve worked together for heists and such but the reader is basically the opposite, they’re on the quieter side and prefer literature and baking to whatever the crows are getting up to. When they meet the crows they’re mistaken as their twin, maybe because their twin asked them to help on a job without informing the crows? Anyway I don’t really have a preference for what type of writing this is or the crows it’s for ^^ thank you :D 👾
The Librarian-platonic! crows x gn! reader
Hi! I'm so sorry that this took me a while--my tumblr inbox is being glitchy and weird atm and requests have been disappearing and reappearing at random so I caught this in my inbox while I was lucky.
As the title indicates, I added one thing! The reader is a librarian because I was like "they gotta have a job. They like to read, librarian it is" and I hope that you're okay with that!
Generally though, thank you for sending this in, this concept was a lot of fun and definitely a good way to try to get myself used to writing requests frequently again after several months of near-burnout and demotivation.
Fic type- this one is literally just fluff
Warnings- mentions of murder (generally), mentions of murder by thwack of thick book to ones head, and theres an allusion to body parts being cut up and put into a box, then leaving that box to float to the bottom of the ocean (Jesper refers to it as slice and dice, and I promise it's less graphic than it seems)
You didn't know why you'd agreed to help your twin. You were their opposite--they were all about the life of crime that most Barrel residents lived, where you were content to work at the library you'd been working at since you were seventeen and sell your baked goods at the market stalls on the weekends.
You did not like the Barrel at all.
You resented how easy it was to find yourself a victim of pickpocketing whenever you wandered into a gambling den on that side of town or even just while you walked through the streets.
You much preferred your apartment and the smell of fresh cinnamon buns to the vague smell of swamp mingling with gasoline and peoples loud, rowdy ways as they ambled from one gambling den to the next. You hated the idea of all of it--why dress in your finest if you're intending to go gamble, when there's always a chance that you'll lose everything you gave, and lose more than that when your aim had been to win it all back after the initial loss?
But still, agreeing to help your twin was a commitment you'd made. You had the layout of a library with something valuable and had agreed to go to the Slat to draw up a sketch, but the hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks.
You proceeded into the Slat--the building your twin had said to meet up in--and sat at a table after grabbing yourself a brandy. Like they were being brought to you by some kind of gravitational pull, a tall Fjerdan and the girl he had on his arm walked up to you.
"Y/T/N?" the girl asked. "You've just left the Slat for breakfast. Did you change your mind?"
You blinked, confusedly. "I'm not--"
Another girl spoke up from behind you, and the sound of her voice startled you just enough to make you flinch.
Where had she come from? Was she the kind of person who could steal peoples secrets from the shadows? Was she a spider who hid in the dark corners where people were too oblivious to look, taking their conversations back to the infamous Kaz Brekker in the aim to turn over a profit?
"Not Y/T/N," she said. "Their twin."
A gray eyed boy with guns on his hips approached next, arm lazily draped over a boy with dark red hair and eyes that made him resemble something of a deer when startled.
"What are you doing in the Barrel?" He asked. "Your twin says that you tend to keep to your routine. Working at the library in the Financial District during the day, spending your friday nights baking so that you can sell your goods at the market stalls. You're not the type to come round here."
"They wanted to meet with me," you said. "There's a library out in the countryside that's become a tourist attraction since the Merchant Council actually put effort into proper marketing for it? I've visited every other weekend since it opened. They said that they need me to sketch the layout in the absence of a blueprint, which I know for a fact was destroyed in case anyone tried to steal it to figure out the best entrance and exit points. Did they not tell you they asked me for help?"
"What's your cut of the final profit?" You didn't have to know that voice to recognize it. It was Kaz Brekker, the most infamous criminal in all of Ketterdam, the only person who'd scared Pekka Rollins away from anything, even if the thing he'd scared Rollins away from had been his own criminal empire.
"Can I ask you what all of your names are first? Despite how much my twin talks about you, I don't know your faces, even if there's a near guaranteed chance that I know your names."
"Inej," said the girl who'd snuck up on you. "Inej Ghafa. The boy with the guns is Jesper, the doe eyed one is Wylan. Matthias is the big, blond, brooding yellow tulip who's glowering at you right now, and the beautiful girl on his arm is Nina. I'm sure you know who Kaz is?"
"Too well," you said. "How's the leg?"
Kaz smirked as the crew began to pull up chairs, where he took the spot to your right.
"It could be better than it is now, but it's not as bad as it is in winter. Your cut of the money?"
"They promised to give me 40 percent of their share if I sketched out the layout," you said. "You're being paid twelve million for this. I get just less than one million after the math is said and done."
"In the interest of paying the reason that we get this heist right as rain with minimal issue fairly, what is twelve million through eight?" Kaz asked the group that'd formed around the table whilst you'd been too focused on taking a sip of your brandy to notice.
"1.5 million," Wylan answered within seconds. "Cuts two million off each of our paychecks."
"Well, if Y/N is decent for a blueprint sketch, I'm sure you be too busy with the knowledge that you still have your lives, the clothes on your backs and the homes to which you'll go to notice the half a million you would've missed out on."
Jesper grinned at you. "He's terrifying," he said. "But, in the end, fairness in terms of these things is important to him. He's greed incarnate but he doesn't take well to enemies, so he's making sure your twin doesn't rip you off."
"A baker-slash-librarian and literature fanatic is hardly an enemy," Nina interjected.
"They've got books as tall as the length from my wrist to the bend in my elbow in some libraries," Jesper said. "They hit Kaz with one of those while he's not expecting it, he goes down quick. His death can be made even quicker, provided they use chocolate chunks--which require chopping on a cutting board--in their baking. Slice and dice, ship him to the bottom of the ocean in a box that's two feet tall and one foot wide, and all evidence of their having murdered the Bastard of the Barrel is gone."
"Killing Kaz Brekker is not in my interest," you said. "Not at all. Matter of fact, just sketching this is, and even then, the money is the only reason I'm here. I mean this respectfully, but I miss home. I miss the comfort of my bed and being able to enjoy a fine Wednesday morning without worrying about losing a twenty kruge bill while I walk back home."
"Y/T/N said you were aloof," Nina commended. "Like Matthias. Do we have a liar in our midst?"
"No," you said. "Though I wouldn't say aloof is the right word. I would say quiet, reserved, and uninterested in crime are the right ones, but you've caught me in a moment of sass. Let me switch the brandy for wine and I'll get angsty instead."
Jesper barked a laugh, Wylan, Inej, and Nina grinned. Kaz smirked, and you saw a glint of horror pass through Matthias' gaze. It made you laugh.
"Relax, Matthias," you said. "Want me happy, I'll take a glass of kvas or some gin."
You saw his expression relax, and just shook your head. You were in for a hell of a time with that crew, and part of you couldn't wait for it to really begin.
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juergenklopp · 1 year
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hiii i hope youre enjoying le mans rn! unrelated but id like to get into baseball and youre one of the only blogs i know that follows it, do you have any tips for where to start? :)
Hi hi hello dearest Anon! I had a great time at Le Mans, thank you, sorry for taking this long to answer your ask, hope you're still interested in checking baseball out!
I was drafting a writeup on how and where to start following the MLB, but @baiyunli beat me out to it with this primer that's better than anything I could ever put together—I'm a new fan myself, I'm sure I would've missed so many things. I used to watch it growing up, so getting back into it did feel 'easier' than if I'd gone in completely oblivious of the sport. I'm going to put a little addition to their wonderful post, some notes from my short career of being a baseball fan.
Under the cut: WHERE TO WATCH BLOGS TO FOLLOW NARRATIVES OF NARRATIVES: THE WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC 2023 RECOMMENDED FURTHER READING: BASEBALL, THE US FOREIGN POLICY, AND AMERICAN IMPERIALISM
WHERE TO WATCH
MLB.TV The official streaming service. A season pass for all team is now $60, blackouts and restrictions apply if you're located in the market. With a mlb.com account, you can watch a selected game for free each day. MLB66 (mlb66 [dot] ir) The layout is a bit unintuitive, but it's by far the best 🏴‍☠️ streaming site for MLB. Click on the Select Game button on the top right, and navigate to the game you want to watch. On the bottom right, there's an option to select the home or away broadcast. It can take a few seconds to a minute to load, but so far, it has worked well for me. FSL (mk [dot] freestreams-live1 [dot] top) My go-to for sports streaming. The domain changes regularly, it's worth joining the Discord server for updates.
THE TUMBLR FANDOM EXISTS, I PROMISE: BLOGS TO FOLLOW
There's a kind of nostalgic longing for a time I've never been a part of when I scoured Tumblr tags to find mid-late 2010s baseballblr posts: hundreds of notes, some reaching quadruple digits. Anything going double digits feel like breaching containment now, but there are still some blogs posting about baseball on Tumblr.
Here are some, sorted by their allegiance—by no means a complete list and it will be very biased, but it's a start...
GENERAL BASEBALL BLOGS (and those whose allegiance I can't quite place and I'm scared of offending by assuming but I love your blogs I'm so sorry guys) @ baiyunli, once again thank you for the wonderful primer! @ nacseo-scrawl, + Braves, also the go-to for Bananaball content @ greinkeephus, + Phillies and Red Sox @ pindergarten, + the A's @ hootball, for your Americacentric sportsball needs (NHL, MLB, NFL...) PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES @ soyouwinagain, my most beloved, and @ toyotagazoo, also my dearest, who dragged me down to this hell with them... @ kurchatovium, my original Philly sports brain rot enabler (GO BIRDS) @ jcamilov06, + for all your Philadelphia sports needs @ phillyphangirl @ janosglove TORONTO BLUE JAYS @ donttelltheelff @ byebyebichette @ danny-jansen @ 7th-inningstretch @ based--ball @ kevin-gausman LOS ANGELES ANGELS @ whatincornation, the most wonderful and delightful artist in all of sportsblr @ iichliwps @ auditers BOSTON RED SOX @ eovaldi @ barbiebobby PITTSBURGH PIRATES @ fryinreynolds ATLANTA BRAVES @ colonel-clucker @ emietook SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS @ everydaywynns MILWAUKEE BREWERS @ kimsparis NEW YORK YANKEES @ judgerizzo @ gleyby LOS ANGELES DODGERS @ miggys
(Please @ me if you want to be included in/excluded from this list!)
THE WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC OR HOW A SINGLE AT BAT PERMANENTLY ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY AND MADE ME FALL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH BASEBALL
Well, two at-bats, actually, but let's not talk about that one and instead talk about the storied matchup, the one now written in immortality and will be talked about for years to come.
Baseball is considered a slow-burner sport by many, even more so before the official introduction of the pitch clock, 'boring' even on the surface especially compared to sports with constant high-octane action like hockey or basketball. But as with sports in general, among the things that makes the game so exciting (or devastating) is the buildup to the matchup—the storylines and the narratives, as well as the ebb and flow of the clash itself with how the game is structured—it's not over until it's over, a comeback to tie the game and a walkoff win is always possible.
The final of the 2023 World Baseball Classic is one of the prime example of all the stars aligning to make a historic matchup between the best of the best.
youtube
Mike Trout is a three-time MVP in the MLB, and is considered as one of the best baseball players of all time. Ohtani Shohei is nicknamed 'The Unicorn' by fans and experts alike, being the first elite two-way player (a player who pitches and bats) and is regarded as the most talented baseball player of all time. They are both in their primes and are currently considered to be two of the best players in the MLB. The term 'generational talent' tends to be thrown around casually in sports—for Trout and Ohtani, it's more than a worthy title.
Ohtani and Trout both play for the Los Angeles Angels in the MLB, with Trout being one of the reasons why Ohtani chose to play for the Angels in the first place. They've been good friends since Ohtani signed with the Angels leading up to the 2018 season. Unfortunately the Angels haven't found success despite both players being extremely successful, breaking long-standing records left right and center. Many consider it to be a shame that Trout and Ohtani were 'wasting' the prime years of their careers not playing 'meaningful' games since the Angels have not made it to the playoffs since their last appearance in 2014.
So we have two of the best players in the game, who happen to be teammates and good friends, playing in the final of baseball's equivalent of the FIFA World Cup on opposite sides representing their respective countries. Added to that is of course the novelty of an elite and truly one of a kind two-way player in Ohtani, pitching to one of the best hitters of all time in Trout.
The matchup was pretty unlikely in the first place too because of how batting orders work, and yet everything aligned for them to be up against each other in the top of the 9th—final barring extra innings—with two outs.
Japan were leading 3–2: strike Trout out, and Ohtani would win it all for Japan.
Here's the link to the full game on YouTube.
The whole tournament was such a treat all throughout, with exciting pool games, upsets, and rallying comebacks in the knockout stage. Two standout games for me are the quarterfinals matchup between Venezuela and the USA and the semifinals clash between Mexico and Japan. Both games were rife with gutsy baserunning and hitting, back-and-forth offense and lead change, and topped off by clutch plays to lead the respective teams to victory.
RECOMMENDED FURTHER READING: BASEBALL, THE US FOREIGN POLICY, AND AMERICAN IMPERIALISM
As much as we can weave romantics about America's pastime, it's also inseparable from how the US projected itself abroad in its foreign and military policy. My dearest @outofbodyinjury's research project led me to look into the history of the sport and its role in USA's long history of war and foreign intervention.
Starting from the 19th and 20th century as the game was growing and all throughout the 21st century, for example in response to 9/11 and the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions, baseball has been omnipresent as a tool to promote and serve US interests. The book The Empire Strikes Out: How Baseball Sold U.S. Foreign Policy and Promoted the American Way Abroad by Robert Elias dives deep into this topic. I have yet to find a DRM-free .epub of the book, but I will try to rip it if there's interest. Here's an .m4b rip of the audiobook, and here's a condensed version of the book: an article by the same author published in The International Journal of the History of Sport.
Once again: @baiyunli is the MVP for their primer, it has pretty much everything you need to know to start getting into the sport, so check that out. Don't hesitate to send me asks or DMs if you have questions! And I fully believe sports teams pick you: it could be through a player that happens to compel you, or the mascot, or the colors of the unis, or just for no reason at all. You'll know and feel it when you're chosen. That being said: LET'S GO PHILS!
And I hope you'll fall in love with baseball as I did :]
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azuresonatas · 10 days
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"AFTER A STORM COMES A CALM..."
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requests . . . closed ! (3/3) ♡ daily click .
— please credit or tag me when using my edits !
pride icons requests open ! (to june 30)
more info under the cut
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hi! im ray and welcome to my editing blog. im fairly new to editing so most of my stuff is pretty simple but i currently do graphics, layouts (tumblr, discord, twitter), and icon packs if you're interested! i'm still experimenting with other stuff, so i may add more to this list at some point . . .
i most likely will accept things on my whitelist, and I am selective with things not on my whitelist. feel free to ask if i edit any source not listed.
this post's layout was inspired by rinkoluvs. go follow her !
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WHITELIST: bandori, pjsk, vocaloid, d4dj, ensemble stars, love live, hoyoverse games (selective with men), danganronpa (and specific fangans), ace attorney, zero escape, fruits basket, horimiya, vtubers (selective), milgram
BLACKLIST: hazbin hotel/helluva boss, hifumi yamada, teruteru hanamura, haiji towa, real people, more to come i can't think rn lol
RULES: be polite. try to be as specific as possible. requests will be done in a few days to a week. feel free to ask for no kin / f/o / etc. tags and to @ me in promos! anonymous requests will be denied because i want you to be notified when your request is done. just be nice and specific and ill probably accept.
— signed by yours truly, @chikainowingbeat .
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just whining
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i think my biggest question i (don't) try to answer all this year is: why i started to hate something that was my dream once? why i was so passionate about my work 2 (or so) years ago? i remember i called director of the foundation i used to work with at 4 a.m. to approve revisions to the layout for the festival. i worked on absolutely awful old half-broken laptop that miraculously worked and didn't explode because i was doing 3x3 meter layouts in Illustrator. anyway. i felt myself so alive? i felt that im doing what i always wanted to do. i had to mix several freelance projects + volunteering as a designer with my graduating and i was alright ("you stay awake so you don't get expelled because of work, then you stay awake so you don't fuck up your job because of studying" <- note from that times). all this was so important to me. i remember i was so . happy every time i saw my design/illustrations printed. i remember going back home w a printed book i did layout + illustrations for in absolute shock. it was like some kind of miracle that i couldn't get used to. i was so tired n depressed during graduating (n each month it just got worse) but i felt that i belong in this world that im doin the right thing & im doin what i always wanted to do
and now im staring blankly at the opened file in adobe illustrator. simpliest task: a fucking flyer and i can't do it as easily as i used to a few days ago realized that idk imposter syndrome is at it's peak rn. i literally worked w different companies/ppl i have 2 yrs of work experience i worked on a lot of different things yet now i can't even make a portfolio bc it's so. scary? idk for what reason. all this year i try to understand what happened & i can't find an answer. last days it scares me bc let's say lack of fulfillment in art sphere is smth that destroyed me when i was like 17-18 & it all ended up w sa n psych ward & i dont want this to ever repeat like for christ's sake. i was so brave after 19yo & now im constantly scared idk i lost my ambitions & it scares me so much. i have no idea what i want to reach and i have no idea how to live w/o craving to reach smth. craving to do smth. what the point of life if u're not creating smth? i haven't organized anything + created anything big for long and it scares me. “growth for the sake of growth is cancer” <- my ex said this to me many yrs ago to show me how pointless what i'm doing is. yes this is truth & such way of living isn't the best but this is the only way i can live, this is who i am
"i spent this year as a ghost" YES! and it's a nightmare to me. and i despise myself bc it's ridiculous. girl why the fuck r u whining. u used to work for 12 hours w only one day off. u used to work 24/7 as a freelancer and still somehow managed this w studying + personal life. now u can find a job w better work conditions but you're afraid to do it. where ur energy did go? where is ur strength & bravery? why r u became afraid of people (esp of the ones that actually love u) when u always loved them?
dear fucking god i'm so tired of this & i'm so tired of my own brain
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angelst4re · 2 years
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I've just posted this without realising I didn't finish it!! So I'm reposting it again, thankfully i screenshotted the request though :)
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The First Day- Dad Jamie x Reader
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warnings: none :)
note: i'm changing up the layout of my fics rn... i'm gonna be keeping them simple until i can find something i like enough!
“C’mon, darling. You were excited about this last night, weren’t you? Me and mummy will be there later to pick you up, and you can tell us about how amazing your day was!” Jamie tried reasoning with your daughter but she wasn’t having any of it. She just turned around in her bed and continued crying.
“I just don’t know what to do, Jamie.” You tell him, defeated. 
“It’ll be fine, she’s just not used to being apart from us, like the time I went away on tour and you couldn’t come with us.” 
“I don’t want to leave!” Your daughter cries, “I’m not going!”
“Baby, why?” Jamie asks, gently moving the blanket covering her face, “are you worried? Scared? Tell me, love.”
You stand back and watch as he gets her to sit up and talk to him, you couldn’t have asked for a better husband and father to your children. He was perfect. He always knew what to do, what to say, you were so glad you had him.
“I don’t want to miss you, daddy.” She said, sniffling, “and mummy. It won’t be fun without you.”
“I don’t believe that!” Said Jamie, “you’re going to have the best day ever! You liked your teacher, didn’t you? And you’re going to be in the same class as your friends, you won’t want me and mummy spoiling all the fun!” 
The little girl took a moment to think, before shuffling over to Jamie and giving him a hug, which he returned. 
“So…” Jamie began, resting his chin on his daughter's head, “let’s go find your school clothes, love.”
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