#this is so dumb lmfao im sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chronicowboy · 10 months

Text

buck and eddie's conversation on the fountain in merry ex-mas gets infinitely funnier to me every time it's like: your estranged wife who you're sleeping with on the DL comes to your place of work and announces to your nosiest co-worker and best friend that you can't talk without fucking, your platonic male bestie ✨ is absurdly quiet about the whole situation which is very uncharacteristic of him so you invite him to bring your son to a mall santa whilst wondering if you can ever trust your wife with your son again, once said child is out of hearing distance you bring up your bestie's silence, bestie replies that it's none of his business and you agree in a way that sounds like you're begging him to question every life decision you've ever made before immediately launching into a full explanation of the situation despite no homo bro sitting there awkwardly listening after doing the absolute Most to avoid this conversation because he's been talking about the situation with his future brother-in-law whilst christmas tree shopping, then he commiserates with you about the never-ending complications of sex with women, both of you are exactly three seconds away from wondering aloud whether sex with men is simpler, but then your son returns from santa's village with an elf who will tell your work husband that the two of you have an adorable son and he will skip away without denying this. just normal best friend things <3

447 notes · View notes

rue-the-dayy · 3 months

Text

dnf shitpost redraw

#dnf fanart #rue art #i dont even know #thia is so dumb im sorry LMFAO #i dont even like it that much but im posting it anyway so

223 notes · View notes

buwheal · 3 months

Note

Hello Spamton! Lets say, hypothetically, if i was intrested in potentially buying something from you, which product would you recomend the most?

#[you've got mail!]#ask19 #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #sorry if youre not the same anon lmfao im sure you'd understand why i was mistaken #i feel so dumb for not reusing and editing frames i have already made... i did this SO fast and i can get my brewing ideas out faster #there are so many ideas i have cause these asks keep getting better lol

87 notes · View notes

deadpuppetboi · 10 months

Text

How I look like explaining how it could be possible that Garrett, Mike’s little brother, COULD be The Marionette in the Fnaf movie:

76 notes · View notes

macroglossus · 4 months

Text

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

13 notes · View notes

incorrectskyrimquotes · 1 year

Text

Nerevar: Well, Voryn, I made it- despite your directions.

Dagoth Ur: Welcome, Moon-and-Star, to this place where destiny is made! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Nerevar: Meh.

Dagoth Ur: Oh, ye gods! My stew is ruined! But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ohoho, delightfully devilish, Voryn!

Nerevar: Ah- Hmm.

Chorus: Dagoth Ur with his crazy explanations / The Hortator is gonna need his medication / When he hears Dagoth's lame exaggerations / There'll be trouble on Red Mountain tonight!

Nerevar: VOOORYYYNNN!

Dagoth Ur: D’ah, Moon-and-Star! I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?

Nerevar: Why is there smoke coming out of your mountain, Voryn?

Dagoth Ur: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

Dagoth Ur: Whew.

[transition jingle]

Dagoth Ur: Hortator, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering ash yams.

Nerevar: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Dagoth Ur: D'oh, no. I said steamed yams. That's what I call ash yams.

Nerevar: You call ash yams "steamed yams?"

Dagoth Ur: Yes. It's, uh, a regional dialect.

Nerevar: Uh-huh. What region?

Dagoth Ur: Uh, Vvardenfell.

Nerevar: Really. Well, I'm from Balmora, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed yams."

Dagoth Ur: Oh, not in Balmora, no; it's an Ald'ruhn expression.

Nerevar: I see. ... You know, these ash yams are quite similar to the ones they have at Kwama Burger.

Dagoth Ur: [chuckles] Oh, no. Patented Dagoth yams. Old Sixth House recipe.

Nerevar: For steamed yams.

Dagoth Ur: Yes.

Nerevar: Yes. And you call them steamed yams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Dagoth Ur: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- ... Excuse me for one second.

Nerevar: Of course.

Dagoth Ur: [loud yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all; I'm pooped.

Nerevar: Yes, I should be- BY AZURA! What is happening in there?!

Dagoth Ur: Aurora borealis.

Nerevar: Uh- Aurora borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of Tamriel, localized entirely within your mountain?

Dagoth Ur: Yes.

Nerevar: ... May I see it?

Dagoth Ur: No.

Sleepers: Voryn! The mountain's on fire!

Dagoth Ur: No, companions. It's just the northern lights.

Nerevar: Well, Voryn, you are an odd fellow, but I must say- you steam a good yam.

#morrowind #incorrect quotes #submission #this is so dumb i'm sorry #I just started making a one off joke and then the whole script happened #<- tags from the submitter #so i dont think i can convert this to the usual format so im gonna post it like this #but also THIS IS SO FUNNY I LOVE THIS LMFAO

36 notes · View notes

suburbanlegnd · 9 months

Note

hello :)

here ya go: 🌯🎧🤬🩰🎞️

Hi bestie!!

🌯You’re on a road trip . . . where’s your first choice to stop and eat?

kfc probably. But I always try to avoid stopping anywhere and prefer to stay hungry lmao.

🎧 If you listen to the radio, what station is your go-to in the car? (If you don’t, what’s your go-to playlist?)

Ok so I don't have a car and probably never will, and I also don't listen to the radio, but my favorite go-to playlist when I go out is always either my on repeat playlist or I just listen to some album or one song on loop.

🤬 What’s your favorite curse word?

So besides my absolutely favorite polish curse word (which is kurwa), I also love to say FUCK very loudly.

🩰 What’s an experience you missed out on as a kid and always wish you had done?

answered here :)

🎞️ Share something from your camera roll. (Meme, photo, funny video, etc.)

So I love taking pictures of old statues, forgotten places, abandoned houses and even cemeteries etc. I always try to take a pic whenever I see something interesting and/or creepy. Btw, I also think you kinda like these kinds of photos!

#and again im so sorry for accidentally deleting the previous ask #I promise to stop being a dumb idiot and maybe not use my phone when I'm half asleep lmfao #anyways thanks for the ask bestie!#asked

8 notes · View notes

sundial-bee-scribbles · 1 year

Video

returning to my latino roots for 2023′s first talkloid shitpost 😎😎

rough english transcript under the cut for my non-hispanohablantes (with some translation notes)

piko: you drugged me!

fukase: with love~

piko: with PILLS.

fukase: of love~ ₁

piko: DRUGS.

fukase: look, i know i haven’t been the best alpha male—

piko: honestly, there’s nothing “male”₂ about you.

fukase: —but you have to admit that we had something beautiful...

piko: YOU ARE COMPLETELY INSANE!

fukase: piko, please don’t talk to me like that in front of your son!

piko: WHAT???

kazehiki: hi, daddy

piko: you’ve got to be fucking₃ with me.

fukase: of course, now you don’t recognize your own son—

piko: okay that’s enough i’m going to call the police

fukase: NO! okay, okay... it’s not necessary. i get it now, come on, little hiki, your dad’s being a bitch₄

kazehiki: goodbye, daddy

extra translation notes:

₁ - “de” usually means “of” but it can mean other things like “with”, “out of” or “for” in certain cases (such as the phrase “lo hice de amor” which can translate to “i did it out of/for/with love”, which is similar to the situation going on here). changed it so it hopefully makes more sense in english this way?

₂ - here, “macho” technically would more be “masculine” rather than literal male, and the whole phrase would more accurately be translated as “honestly, you have nothing masculine” but kept the use of the word male to align better with the previous statement so it makes more sense (in english??)

₃ - “no me chingues,” in its roughest form, can sorta be translated like this. basically it’s an expression of disbelief, like “no way” or “you’re kidding me, right?” but a bit more... vulgar lol since ‘chingues’ does sort of literally mean ‘fuck’

₄ - “anda de apretado/a,” when literally translated, essentially means “going around tightened” (or something like that) but it’s an idiom to refer to someone who’s acting very selfishly with no consideration for others. so essentially, acting like a bitch lmao. this is also just taken from the official translation of where the original audio is even from. also, while “ahora entiendo” can also be translated as “i understand now,” i felt like a more casual “i get it” fit this particular context a bit better.

#my video lol #vocaloid #talkloid #utatane piko #piko utatane #vocaloid piko #piko vocaloid #fukase vocaloid #vocaloid fukase #kazehiki #kazehiki utau #utauloid kazehiki #drug mention tw #UGH theres so many things wrong w/ the video's text but i always add text to my talkloids so. bleh no fixing it now #ITS MY LAST DAY OF FREEDOM I GET TO MAKE STUPID ASS SHITPOSTS #this was such a dumb idea but i thought it was hilarious. also fun in getting to test out spanish w/ jpn vbs #man i suck shit still at actual like pretty singing cover stuff i wanna make BUT i think im getting better at talkloids?? lmfao?#not by much but. its smthn. i only used vocalshifter on hiki's parts b/c when i did it to piko and fuka it got SO DISTORTED EW #bruh i need to quit with this late night/early morning shenanigans its going to destroy me someday...#ALSO NOT ME DOING SOME DETAILED TRANSLATION NOTES FOR A 38 SECOND SHITPOST??? sorry i just like. idk.#i promise i do know spanish i come from a peruvian family 😭😭 i have a love-hate relationship w/ translating sometimes #listen when you know more than one language sometimes your brain breaks a little. stuff just makes sense in a language but then you cant #exactly describe it in the other and its just ?????????#man i hope the tiny text and subscript numbers dont break

25 notes · View notes

lobaznyuk · 1 year

Text

forgive me for being a dummy but i genuinely am clueless here: did VKF ever train to be a gymnastics coach? are there many other ncaa head coaches who weren’t ‘’’in’’’ gymnastics previously?

#in my mind she stands there and recites platitudes and that's all #im just wondering bc like. i know a lot about gymnastics but i don't know the logistics of teaching it #so what is your role as head coach then #with other sports; i understand there's strategy but. isn't the strategy of gymnastics just lineups?? what else did she do???#besides choreo #sorry i am so dumb i dont know anything about the sport i watch #im realising i have no idea what a head coach actually does lmfao #oh. i guess recruiting #yeah #hmmmm

8 notes · View notes

violentviolette · 9 months

Text

@rosieandaphrodite LOL good please continue to do so. my discord pfp is actually Blade honkai-star-rail right now because the brainworms have burrowed deep into my psyche but i am always dabi at heart lmfaoooooo

#jack.speaks #i dont know how to answer submissions or how they work cause ive never used them so im just answering it this way sorry if thats dumb lmfao

3 notes · View notes

orcelito · 10 months

Text

Maybe I accidentally opened the wrong car door in the parking lot today. And maybe I made omega grilled cheese sandwiches. But I finally got the Celica ring back in fire emblem echoes so who's REALLY winning today

#speculation nation #hfksbfksbcmsbxmsbxmsbxmshkfhsjxbs #ok car door thing is legit. the car looked the same and idfk man smth lapsed in my brain #so i opened the door & the guy inside was like 'Wrong Car!!!' and i was just like 'IM SO SORRY 😱' and then ran to the right one hfkshxjd #the. grilled cheese sandwiches is a joke.#the cheese is rly runny so it was Seeping out. almost like. an omega's... i shan't say...#lmfaoooooo and yea i played some more fire emblem. finally making some plot progress after a while #the thing earlier went fine. i was a Little cornered animal at a few points but i think i did alright #played some air hockey and DARTS. im rly bad at darts guys. i still won but it was dumb luck lmfao #so... for days to have today. it really wasnt too bad.#still miss my family & im looking forward to seeing them again. Life Events Considered. but im doing okay #gonna need to go to bed soon bc im gonna go see one of my BEST FRIENDS TOMORROW !!! jack ❤❤❤#sometimes ur best friends with someone since 2016 and u have never met in person #WE WILL CHANGE THAT. TOMORROW!!!!!#yes.

2 notes · View notes

twistedappletree · 8 months

Text

!!!!!!!

#woke up at 6am somehow #so I used the extra time to follow ppl back bc I said I was gonna get to that like 10 years ago and never did LOL SORRY IM LIKE THIS #also if I didn’t follow u back but u want me too and wanna be friends or lurk buddies or w/e #tell me or like this post or any way u wanna do it and I’ll follow youuuu #if we’re mutuals btw don’t think I’m ignoring you if I never reblog from you #bc for SOME reason I literally cannot see my mutuals posts in the following tab lmfao #like it’s literally all my own posts it’s so dumb and weird andhajdbAJDJAS #and yes I tried the for you tab but that doesn’t show y’all either????#idk i think I downloaded the liminal space version of tumblr of something 😭😭😭#apple babble 🍎#non fandom

1 note · View note

strawberryspotsstuff · 2 years

Note

Sorry for being annoying but- what does psa mean?? I see it alot in the cuddle and physical affection headcanons.

Public Displays of Affection!

don't worry! its not annoying^^ lmfao, ((when i did google it, there were so many versions of it i thought i was using it wrong :skull:))

now i think about it, it could be PDA. uhhhh. oops. i'll probably start saying PDA now PF

#strawberrycow answers #PSA meaning-- its PDA i done goofed #psa- GRRR ITS PDA!!!#Public Displays of Affection #i think i got the term wrong :sob: im so sorry LMFAO #im so dumb

5 notes · View notes

ilostyou · 1 year

Note

what’s the psychology of falling in love i wanna know

to keep it kinda short (bc as a whole psych of love is actually super complex and there's a lot going on):

we were just discussing attribution process and the false consensus effect of fundamental attribution error (aka the process of how we make assumptions about other people and why we think certain things etc etc etc) and were talking about how people will almost always assign situational attributions to themselves and the people they love, protecting them in a way (aka we're more likely to protect people close to us by blaming things that happen on circumstances as opposed to the person themselves). then we also discussed how the false consensus effect (aka seeing your own behaviors and thoughts as being more typical than they may be) is influenced by the experiences we have most available to us and our memories - obviously our own experiences are most accessible, but as we come to get close and closer then with others we have their experiences (as they're told to us obviously) more available to us too, which basically influences the way we think about our thoughts too

tl;dr - the psych of tolerate it by taylor swift and bad omens by 5sos aka how and why we tend to look past red flags <3

#asks #anon #THANK YOU FOR ASKIGN SORRY IF THIS DIDNT MAKE SENSE I JSUT LOVE TALKING ABT IT #if any of this wasnt explained well im happy to clarify lmfao #if any of you wanted a psych dump. there you go #m takes grad skl #see guys i promise im not dumb dumb i do know what im talking abt sometimes #also the class is abt social behavior so that's context #and for further context i dont want to be red flag in love i just want to be in love lmfao

0 notes

4giorno · 2 years

Text

cursed image

#jfkfkdjdjf visual glitches provided by the lovely ps4 #yea also u cant send the screenshots to the ps app on ps4 so sorry for the tv pic again #but yeah hes still just standing there...... menacingly..... on my tv #i actually almost jumped when this showed lmfao #wait im dumb this probs doesnt count as a 'visual glitch' right...... anyway a glitch either way lol

1 note · View note

sanjisboyfie · 6 months

Text

shanks being your doting boyfriend

(slightly himbo) shanks x male reader

NOT PROOFREAD mb. small, slight manga spoilers??? sorry guys + LMFAO i hadto ctrl + f every single time i used "arms" and switch it to "arm" also im so soorrryyyy its kinda rlly short.....forgive me also idc???? if this seems ooc to me shanks is just a silly lil guy.

— oh god. the power you hold. you actually singlehandedly could change the course of the entire one piece universe if you wanted to. why??? because one of the four emperors of the sea follows everrything you say like a lost puppy. he hangs off of every word that leaves your lips with a dumb, lovesick grin on his face. his head is empty, just thoughts of you. good thing you use this power of yours for good and keep this man HUMBLE.

"[name], can you please tell your idiot boyfriend to just do the dishes, i can't-"

"beckkkkkk, why are you bothering me and my boyfriend's personal time together?" shanks whined, little spooning his way into your side. his stubble was scratching your skin, making you itchy around your neck and shoulder, especially with the way he was so aggressively nuzzling his head. "we haven't even woken up yet,"

"yeah, and you were supposed to be on cleaning duty last night and you instead chose to spend that time coddling [name], so look where we are now,"

"i'm the captain, goddammit! why do i have to do something like cleaning duty?"

"ask [name], he made that rule,"

shanks' aggressive demeanor turned into putty as he pouted at you. it was not a fitting expression for someone that had a reputation like his and also his age (too old to be acting like a kid).

"babbbbyyy, why are you making us spend less time together? is it because you hate me?"

"shanks, just go fucking do some cleaning in the kitchen. it's a shit show and it's pissing me and the chefs off. get a grip, babe," you scolded, pushing his pouting face away from your own.

with a look of hesitation, shanks finally backed off and got out of bed. as he was putting on a proper pair of trousers on, he was muttering about his own boyfriend was bullying him. his comments went ignored by both you and beck — who was watching with a look of disbelief on his face.

to see his best friend, captain, and one of the four emperors of the sea so easily swayed into doing chores was something he doesn't think he'd ever get used to. no matter how long you and shanks have been together, seeing the red head so obediently follow orders was infathomable.

— shanks -> really intimidating status as captain of the red hair pirates -> turns into complete mush when you walk into the room. without fail, he physically deflates into whatever seat he's sitting in and holds his arm out to you invitingly, waiting for you to sit on his lap.

shanks was supposed to be in serious mode. he was sitting in front of some pretty high ranked marine officials, who were after his crews' heads. he wasn't the type to hold hostages, just to let them go back running to their navy base, but considering the crew was on a vacation of sorts, he needed to know how they were able to track them down.

it lingered in his mind that there was a chance there was a mole in their ranks, but he didn't want to accept that as it would be a painful reality.

"so, how did you know we'd be at this island to recover?" shanks questioned, eyes glaring holes into the marines' faces. they were shaking where they sat, except for one who tried holding a tough demeanor. "i'm not going to do anything to you if you just answer my question,"

just as the marine was about to spill all their information out, the door of the room they were in was slammed open. shanks' haki faltered slightly as he was able to recognize that it was you, and with that imbalance, it sent the marine officers over the edge and made them pass out instead.

you took in the scene, bleakly apologizing for interuppting. shanks didn't have the heart to scold you, so instead he just took you into his arm with a wide grin and said, "no, no, it's alright. i was beginning to miss you anyway, doll. was wondering why you weren't with me," he pouted into your skin, making you laugh.

"turns out one of the lackeys you let on board recently was the reason why these guys showed up out of nowhere," you informed your lover, who hummed in interest, "took a while, but was able to get him to crack under pressure."

shanks sighed in content, hugging you even tighter, "i love you so much, you're so sexy when you take control,"

another laugh escaped your lips as you heard your boyfriend almost drunkenly sing you praises, "it was nothing, the guy had zero resolve anyway,"

"you're so amazing, baby," he continued complimenting into your skin, acting as if there weren't three passed out marine officers in front of you two.

a couple of the lackeys of the crew came bounding into the room and almost froze when they saw their intimidating captain cuddling into your side like an eager puppy.

"u-uhm, captain?" shanks only hummed in acknowledgement as he held you tight to his side. "what do you want us to do with these guys and that bastard traitor?"

"oh, just keep them tied up and then leave them on the shore when we depart — they probably won't survive with all the wildlife around here," shanks hummed, waving his hand dismissively. you were standing in between his legs and he was relishing in the skinship you were allowing him.

"should we tell the rest that we will be setting sail soon then?"

this time you interjected, "yeah, i'll come with you, boys. i'll make moving the bodies easier."

the crew's face lightened up at your familiar kind behavior, but then stiffened when they heard a groan coming from shanks.

"but [name]!! these guys got it, just stay with me longer, please,"

"oh, shut up, idiot. just go back to the main event and lift up the spirits of our crew, they probably wanna hear words from their captain after such a traitorous bastard infiltrated us,"

shanks sighed at your mini lecture, but dragged himself to follow your footsteps. he was holding onto your hand and his feet were practically stomping into the wood.

"who even made me captain, i never asked for this," he sighed, making the crew weakly laugh to fill the awkward silence while you just tried apologizing for your boyfriend, and captain's, idiotic behavior.

— shanks really cherishes the alone time he can spend with you. living your lives as highly wanted pirates makes your daily life hectic. and, thankfully, the foundations of your relationship only led to you two being able to keep that strong trust, respect, and love for each other so alive.

it was nighttime and the ship was rocking ever so slightly with the waves. for once, you switched cuddling positions and had your head resting on shanks' chest. your fingers were drawing mindless shapes on the exposed skin while shanks' arm was squeezing your plushy flesh every now and then.

"you know, i love you so much, right?" he confessed into the night air, the genuineness of his emotions being made obvious with how softly he spoke.

"i love you too," you easily said back, not thinking twice.

"but, do you know i love you?" shanks repeated, sitting up and holding onto your waist to make sure all your attention was directed on him, "i know our lives don't make our lifestyle easier and i know i get really busy when times get rough, but i needed to tell you again that i love you so much [name]."

you grinned at his sincerity, leaning forward and pressing a soft, gentle kiss to his chapped lips. he reciprocated in a second's notice, but you pulled away before he could deepen it (as he usually did whenever you two kissed).

"i know you love me shanks, you are the sweetest lover i can think of. your kindness and humanity remind me everyday that this life is worth living if it's with you," shanks smiled at your words, nudging his forehead against yours to entice you to pull in closer to him.

your lips locked once more in a passionate filled kiss. your bare chests were now skin to skin with one another and it took a couple minutes of desperate kissing for shanks to be satisfied.

and when you finally pulled away and settled back onto his chest, he squeezed you once more and asked, "you've had other lovers besides me?" in reference to what you said earlier.

cue an eyeroll and pinch to his sides to make him shut his pretty mouth for some needed peace and quiet.

#one piece x male reader #x male reader #male reader #one piece imagines #one piece #shanks x male reader #shanks x reader #shanks imagines #one piece shanks #one piece shanks x male reader #one piece shanks imagines

639 notes · View notes