#this is one of the few books where im REALLY looking forward to a reread bc i want to mark the book up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deripmaver · 3 years

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laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind.

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.” Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

#Captive Prince #captive prince meta #damen x laurent #Laurent of Vere #Damianos of Akielos

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: One Small Hitch

READ PART 1

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

summery: You and Ben have your first official date and settle into your "relationship". But, with filming coming to a close, you'll need to be more committed to the act than before, especially when Ben's keeping secrets.

Warnings: Again, nothing much. Some language. Drinking. Nothing else I can think of.

Words: 8355

AN: Chapter 2 is finally here! Sorry for the delay but hopefully the next part will be up faster. I'm really really enjoying writing this series and I am so very excited about what's coming! The song mentioned is Reckless Serenade by Arctic Monkeys. Sidenote: Can anyone work out the theme of the chapter titles?

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

“I’ve got something for you,” you half shouted at Ben when you saw him walking towards you from across the field you were filming in. You shuffled your shitty takeaway coffee into your other hand so you could reach into your bag, pulling out a piece of paper folded in half. He took it and pulled you into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Funny cause I have something for you too,” Ben said as he let you go, reaching into his backpack and handing you a magazine, “Oh, shit, it’s our rules. You want page 15 by the way.” “Figured you’d want a record of them. What exactly am I looking f-” you let the word hang as you found the right page. It was decorated with a photo of you and Ben kissing on his doorstep, his hand around your back, the shirt you’d borrowed riding up just enough that it was clear you didn’t have shorts on underneath as you clutched at him. There was some text beside it, mentions of your most notable roles and his, a brief description of the movie you were in the process of making, and some speculatory remarks with a couple of innuendos thrown in. The usual gossip mag fare. On the other side of the paragraph was another photo, both of you leaving set the previous Friday, hand in hand and smiling. “We look pretty good together,” you laughed, getting only a noncommittal grunt in return. He’d suddenly become very interested in the sheet you’d handed him, staring at it like he hadn’t been there when it was written. You reread the brief article, trying not to gawk at the photographs. It certainly looked believable. “I’ve had about four people wish us well this morning,” Ben suddenly said, seemingly pulling himself together, folding up the rules and shoving them into his back pocket, “and I’ve not been here long. It’s kinda weird having everyone know we’re together. Or think we’re together,” he quickly corrected himself. “Yeah, Mel kept asking me questions about it while she was doing my makeup this morning, so I hope she took my awkwardness as me wanting to keep things private and not me not knowing how to answer some of them.” Ben chuckled, “yeah, Gail gave me a bit of a grilling too. I just told her we’d been sort of seeing each other for a few weeks and had only just like made it official or whatever and she seemed to buy it.” “Good, I told Mel the same sort of thing. Hopefully that’s enough for them.” “I’m more concerned with what my friends are going to say. I don’t think any of them read Heat though so hopefully it doesn’t come up any time soon,” “Lucky. My friend Felicity has the dumb site bookmarked. Checks it religiously. Bloody miracle she hasn’t called yet.” “Better turn of your phone then,” “And come back to a full voicemail and about a hundred texts demanding to know why I’m ghosting her?” “Tell her you were filming. I do it all the time,” he was grinning at you and you couldn’t help but grin back as you pulled your phone out and shut it off, “atta girl,” he pulled you into his side and gave you an affectionate squeeze that you leaned into , fully aware of how many people were around you, potentially watching. It was a feeling that didn’t really let up. You knew, rationally, that everyone there was focused on their jobs, but you couldn’t help feeling like you were constantly being scrutinised, and not just for your acting. It didn’t help when Seth had to stop recording to fix a problem with the boom mic and, good-humouredly, said, “don’t worry lovebirds, we’ll have her running in a second.” Or that one of the ADs delivered your call sheets for the next day with a, “I always thought you’d be cute together.” And it certainly didn’t help when you turned your phone on at the end of the day to find a series of texts from Felicity each with more exclamation points and capital letters than the last, and a missed call from Mary. “Better call her back,” Ben said, following you towards the carpark. You rolled your eyes, already holding the phone up to your ear listening to it ring. “Y/N, I was just about to try you again,” “Sorry, Mary, I had my phone off while we were recording, what’s the matter?” “Are you free this weekend?” “Um yeah, I think so, why?” “We’d like for you and Ben to go on a date this weekend. Somewhere in London preferably but it’s up to you. You saw the article in Heat? It seems to be going well. The hits your names have got on google have increased and there have been a few tweets about it. Nothing huge, you’re not trending or anything but you’re still relatively unknown so we weren’t expecting that to happen, certainly not overnight. But we think if we get a date story out quickly it’ll really help get people interested.” You rubbed your temple as you tried to process everything she’d just said, “Okay, I’ll talk to him and we’ll organise something. I’ll text you the details once I have them.” “Okay, let me know as soon as you can though. And send Peter the info too.” “Will do. See ya Mary.” “Was that about me?” Ben asked, smiling as he leaned against your car. “You up for a date this weekend? Apparently the first story went well and they want a follow up ASAP.” “Sure, where are we going?” “I don’t know, somewhere around London would apparently be best, but we get to choose. Any thoughts?” He thought for a moment, “This isn’t our first date is it? Like, we’ve said we’ve been on others before, right?” “Yeah, why?” “Well normally for a first date I take girls out for dinner and then, depending on the girl and how the dinner went, either a quiet drink or like a romantic as fuck walk in the park or something.” “That’s pretty standard stuff, Ben,” “Yeah, but in the fiction of us as a couple, this isn’t our first date. This’d be, what?” “Fifth maybe?” “Fifth. So I’m still trying to impress you a bit, but it’s like, more relaxed. We’ve done the dinner date, we’ve done coffee and a movie, we’ve even done the Museum. Now we’re getting into the fun shit.” “Museums don’t count as fun shit?” you chuckled, not sure where his train of thought was taking you. “It’s a bit overdone is all.” “What do you have in mind then?” “There’s this place that runs art classes during the day, right? Life drawing or like painting for beginner's type stuff. But a couple of nights a week they run these art and wine nights. They’ll give you a canvas or a ceramic figure or something like that and some paints and you can have a few drinks and do something arty. I did it with some mates a while ago, had heaps of fun. Seemed like the sort of thing yo- a girl might like to do on a date.” “That definitely sound fun.” “Really? You’re into it?” “Yeah, for sure.” “Okay,” Ben pulled out his phone and began typing, “shall I book us in for the Saturday night ceramics session?” “Go ahead. What time was that, so I can let Mary and Peter know.” “Seven thirty. If we get a cab in a little earlier we can grab something to eat on our way.” “Cool, okay I’ll text them. Is it BYO?” “Yeah. They do sell some stuff but it’s a pretty small selection.” “Okay, well that’s something to look forward to. Anyway, I should be going since I have about a million texts to sort through, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Wait, one thing,” Ben said before you could open your car door, “There’s a few people coming off set now so I’m going to kiss you, okay?” “Thanks for the heads up,” “No worries,” he stepped closer, his hand rising to cup your cheek as he kissed you softly. He took longer to break away than you’d expected, letting the kiss deepen instead, but you didn’t mind too much. It was a good kiss. And if it hadn’t been for Ben and the movie, you would have been severely lacking them recently. Which explained the vague feeling of disappointment that hit you when he did step back.

On your way home your phone beeped with another text from Felicity but you ignored it until you were inside and changed into the comfiest clothes you could find, flopping down on your bed to scroll through what she’d written. They varied from, “omg why didn’t you tell me about this Ben guy?” to “Y/N!!! Answer my texts!!!” all the way up to, “BITCH!!! CALL ME!!!!” She picked up on the first ring. “Where the fuck have you been all day?” “Some of us don’t have office jobs we hate,” you laughed, “I actually had to work, funnily enough, and because we were on location I had to keep my phone off while we recorded.” “Well I’ve been going crazy over here. Imagine my shock when I boot up my computer and open Heat and see your fucking arse being grabbed by your co-star.” “He was not grabbing my arse.” “Close enough. You didn’t tell me how fucking gorgeous he is.” “No, well, I don’t usually think about the people I work with like that, do I?” “Which is why I was so surprised to see you’ve shacked up with one of them.” “It’s not quite that serious.” “One night stands aren’t your usual thing. Definitely not with guys you work with anyway.” “I never said it was a one night stand, just that it wasn’t super serious!” “How many times then?” “We’ve been on like four dates.” “You fuckhead! You mean to tell me you’re actually dating this guy, who by the way looks like he could be a fucking underwear model, and you didn’t think to tell me? No so much as a I got dicked down by a total babe aren’t you jealous message?” “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it if it wasn’t going to go anywhere.” “But still, I’m your best friend, I tell you about every shag I have.” “In graphic detail,” “Exactly.” “Look it’s just a bit weird still. Neither of us have really hooked up with a co-star before and we didn’t want to say anything until we worked out what was happening.” “I guess that makes sense,” you could tell she didn’t mean it, “But, now that it’s out you owe me. I want to hear all about it.” “There’s not much to tell. We became quite good friends during all the pre-production stuff when we were rehearsing and all that. Our director wanted to make sure we clicked and had the right chemistry and stuff, since it’s a romcom and our characters get engaged in the first scene, so we hung out a lot. And then just before filming started he asked me out. Took me to this nice Chinese restaurant. It was fun so we agreed to go out again and it’s sort of just kept going.” “Those photos, was that the first time you’d stayed over at his?” “Second. First time was a couple of weeks ago. The night that led to the photos was just a few drinks after work with some of the others and we ended up ducking out a bit early and wound up at his.” “And?” “And what?” You had a hard time not laughing when you heard her groan. Her eagerness to know every sordid detail made her easy to fuck with, and that made the whole business of being secretive a lot more fun. “And, how was he?” “I mean…y’know,” “Y/N, I swear to god,” “He was good, okay? Really good,” you remembered what Ben had told you to say, trying not to laugh too much while you repeated it, “like, three orgasms good.” “Shit, really?” “Uhuh. And then another in the morning.” Felicity replied with a long whistle, “shit, girl, hold onto that one then. That’s definitely worth any trouble working together could cause." “Believe me, I know. We’re going out again this weekend.” It was surprisingly easy to lie about dating Ben. Though, of course, you weren’t technically lying since you would be going on a date. “Shit man, date five. That’s serious shit. You better tell me everything, in graphic detail.”

When you told Ben about the conversation the next day, admitting you’d spent ages praising his sexual prowess, he laughed and then thanked you, pulling you into a tight bear hug. You thought it was a slight overreaction considering he’d been the one to tell you what to say but his happiness was infectious, and you found yourself smiling more than normal as you hung out between scenes. An attitude which could only help your performance, making people more ready to believe you were a couple. His easy laughter and bright smiles continued until the afternoon when you were telling him more about Felicity and what you’d talked about. “She thinks you’re a keeper and kept telling me not to let you go.” “Your friend knows what she’s talking about.” “Lucky for you I can’t let you go since it’s all written up in a contract,” Ben laughed but when you glanced at him his smile seemed to falter. “You okay?” “Brilliant. Just had a bit of a late night and it’s catching up on me. Think I might try to have a quick nap before we’re needed again.” “I was thinking of grabbing another coffee if you want one?” “Thanks Y/N but I think the nap will do me more good.” “Probably better people don’t see us heading off to a trailer together anyway or they’ll suspect we’re getting up to mischief.” “Very true. I’ll see you a bit later.” “Sleep well!” Ben turned to leave, his smile seeming more forced than earlier. You would have worried except he seemed to be back to normal when he was called for your next scene. And it continued on through the week, his happiness only getting more pronounced the closer it got to the weekend.

You couldn’t quite match his energy on Friday, anxiety over your date getting stronger the closer you got to it. Hanging out at his place had been easy, even if it did include leaving half dressed. All you’d had to do was kiss him which you’d done enough times during filming that it was no longer too odd. But a proper date was something else. It was going to be the first real test you faced, the first time you’d really have to sell yourselves to the public as more than co-stars and more than a hook-up. “Hey are you okay?” “Huh?” “Your jiggling your leg a lot which you only do when something’s worrying you, what is it?” “Oh,” you forced your leg to stop moving, “nothing,” “Is it about our date tonight?” “What if it’s bad? What if we don’t look like we’re actually together and Mary and Pete have to cancel the whole thing?” “I’d get a decent night sleep not thinking about us,” he muttered. “What?” “I’ve been worried about it too,” he said louder, “but I think we’ll be okay. It’s not like we’ll be starved for conversation and we’ll have the paint and the wine and we’ll be fine. Plus, weren’t you the one who said this would be easy?” “Yeah I was,” you said sheepishly, “but -” “No buts. It’ll be a piece of cake. We go and have a good time painting a couple of plates or bowls or whatever, and then hold hands while we head home. They’ll get whatever shots they get, and they’ll spin it so we look like a couple.” “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry,” “It’s okay,” he reached out to rub the back of your hand, smiling softly at you, “the nerves might actually help you look like you’re legit. And worst comes to worst we can always run lines. I’m honestly so much more nervous about shooting that scene tomorrow.” “The one where we’re playing matchmaker?” “Yes! Have you seen how many names are in there?” “Theres like six, Ben,” “Yeah but they’re all repeated, and I know I’m going to get the order wrong,” You giggled and shook your head, “You’re unbelievable,” “Oh whatever,” he pushed your shoulder almost making you overbalance, “Just cos you know the lines already.”

Ben’s efforts to calm you down worked and you got through the rest of the workday without a hitch. Though your stomach was once again tight with nerves in the hours before the date. You spent a solid half hour standing in front of your wardrobe, freshly washed hair slowly dripping down the back of the towel you had wrapped around you, trying to settle on what to wear. When you were finally dressed you checked and rechecked the contents of your purse, and, in a moment of panic, you grabbed the heavily highlighted and notated script pages with the matchmaker scene and shoved them in beside your lipstick and bank card. By the time Ben arrived in an Uber to pick you up, ushering you into the backseat with a kiss on the cheek and a complement about how lovely you looked, you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. But, once again, Ben’s natural charm eased your mind. The way he talked to you and smiled constantly had your heart rate slowing and your stomach settling within minutes. Even the way he squeezed your hand when he helped you out of the car, and the way he laced his fingers with yours as he led you towards your destination were welcome comforts. “D’you wanna grab something to eat?” Ben asked, stopping on a corner and looking around, annoyed people passing by on both sides. “Uhh, s’pose so.” “Has anyone ever told you you’re indecisive?” “I swear I’m not normally.” “Oh? Do I make you nervous, snookum?” he asked, playfully. “No, you git,” you laughed back, though you found it hard to meet his eyes, “I just don’t know I’m that hungry.” “Well, keep in mind there’ll be wine drinking. Don’t want to do that on an empty stomach.” “Valid argument. What’s nearby?” After some wandering you ended up in a McDonalds, Ben wolfing down a burger while you picked at the fries, not quite certain you’d be able to keep your food down. It was when you were coming out of a bottle shop, Ben holding the wine you’d agreed on, that you spotted the photographer. It was the same one who’d been outside Ben’s house when you stayed over, camera aimed at the two of you. Quietly you nudged Ben. He just wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as you walked. You struggled to not watch the photographer as he followed you towards the art studio, having to keep reminding yourself to pretend he wasn’t there. “Relax,” Ben said softly in your ear, “He’s not important.” You nodded, afraid if you said anything you’d lose the meagre dinner you’d had. Ben’s thumb rubbing over your own gave you something else to focus on, counting each soft, smooth stroke, until you reached the right place.

You weren’t the only couple there, far from it. Most of the claimed tables were taken by pairs sitting close together, hands clasped or laying on thighs as they talked. A few tables held larger groups, double dates maybe or perhaps just friends. You felt a few eyes on you as you found a table close to the clear glass of the shopfront, but they turned away again quickly, more interested in their own little bubbles than yours. You glanced outside to check if the photographer was still there but couldn’t see much more than the reflection of you and Ben. His knee bumped yours under the table as he leaned toward you, pressing a finger to your jaw to turn your head towards him. “Forget the photographer. Forget Mary and Peter. Forget our arrangement. We're just two friends having a fun night out, okay?” “Okay,” “Okay. So what are you thinking of painting then?” He unscrewed the bottle of wine and grabbed one of the glasses you’d been handed on arrival. “Well what are my options?” “Well there’s your classic teacup, mug or plate options. There’s a couple of different jewellery boxes, I think. And then there are the statues, ummm, fairy, dragon, alien. Maybe a princess one, I can’t remember.” “More than I thought there’d be. What were you thinking?” “I did a dragon last time I was here. But I think I’m going to do a mug this time. Need some extras if you’re gonna be staying over more often.” “Maybe we should both do mugs, then? Something we can use at each other’s places.” “Alright, deal. But we can’t look at what the other is painting until they’re done.” “That’s going to be so hard!” you laughed, feeling properly relaxed for the first time all night. “Yeah but it’ll be fun though. Wait here, I’ll go grab us the mugs.” You took the opportunity to look around the room, trying to think of what Ben might like on a mug. There was art everywhere – paintings hanging on walls, examples of what the classes could teach you, decorated ceramics lining windowsills and shelves. Judging by the wildly differing levels of talent displayed, you assumed at least some of them were left behind and never claimed. There were plates decorated with fruit trees and ocean scenes, jugs covered in splatters of different colours, aliens in shimmery blue and princesses with green hair and orange dresses. But nothing that sparked your imagination. The noise of the room was steadily growing as everyone got stuck into their creations. Ben sat down, took a drink and got to work mixing colours. “You know what you’re going to do then?” “I have an idea. But I will warn you I’m not a particularly good artist so it might not look anything like what it’s meant to.” You picked up your blank mug and put it down again, tapping the end of a paintbrush against the table as you tried to come up with an idea. What did Ben like? He liked coffee. And dogs. And his guitar. More than once he’d brought it to set, playing it in his downtime. He’d been embarrassed the first time you mentioned overhearing him as you passed by his trailer, but you’d assured him you’d liked listening to him. You’d had the song stuck in your head for a week afterwards. “Made up your mind, have you?” Ben asked, glancing up from his handiwork as you mixed a pale peach colour. “No peeking,” “I wasn’t peeking. If I’d been peeking, I would have done this,” Ben craned his neck, leaning over to where your mug was. You laughed and pulled the mug closer to you, pushing him away with your other hand. He caught it in his own, taking the paintbrush from you, “Oi, careful with that.” “Oops, sorry,” Ben laughed and kissed your palm before letting you have your hand back, “No harm done. But y’know if you splattered me I’d have no choice but to get payback.” There was no need to reach for the script you’d brought as you and Ben fell into conversation while you painted. He asked if you’d had any more awkward phone calls with your friends and told you about what had happened when his mates had found out. Nothing like the conversation you’d endured, though there’d been plenty of teasing. You had to admonish him for nearly getting paint on your work when he began using the largest brush he had to artistically spray drops of paint over his mug. And then he’d laughed when you paused, admitting out loud that you weren’t actually sure how to paint the thing you’d planned on painting. He’d promised not to peek while you whipped out your phone to look up a reference image, going to far as to cover his eyes just to make sure. Once you gave him the okay he went back to painting, switching to a thinner brush and shushing you so he could concentrate. It was ridiculous how cute he looked, tongue between his teeth, bent over the mug as he slowly outlined the design. You shook your head to clear the thought and went back to your own work.

“Okay, I’m done. You wanna see now?” “Yes, absolutely. Unless you think we should wait until after they’ve been glazed?” “Fuck that, we can’t pick them up for a couple of days, I wanna show you now.” “Alright, show me then,” you put down your brush, focusing all your attention onto the mug in Ben’s hands. The base coat was a light purple, with splatters of darker purple over top. Slowly he turned the mug to show you the design on the front. It bore a slightly wonky engagement ring, similar to the one his character gave yours in the movie. On either side of the ring, in thin, not quite straight lettering, was the words we’re really good at this dating thing. You smiled as soon as you read the quote from the script, “I love it, Ben” “Thought it was kind of fitting,” he chuckled, “plus it’ll be a nice little souvenir once the movie wraps.” “That was a fun scene to shoot. Best proposal I’ve ever had.” Ben smiled and carefully turned his mug back towards him, “Best proposal I’ve ever given,” He seemed to be about to say something but stopped himself, shaking his head. You lowered your voice, “Promise I’ll get to keep it after we break up?” “Promise,” Ben said, matching your level and leaning in close, “Until then maybe you can use it as a reminder whenever you feel anxious about this whole dating thing.” “Thanks, I will.” You were suddenly very aware of how softly you were speaking, how close you were sitting, leaning in to hear each other over the rest of the room, and for a split second you thought he was going to kiss you again. But then the moment passed, the noise of the room intruding as Ben leaned back in his seat, “So do I get to see mine?” “Uh, it’s not quite done,” you said, picking up your brush again, the moment gone, “give me another couple of minutes.” “Masterpieces take time, I get it,” “This is by no stretch a masterpiece,” “I’ll be the judge of that thanks very much,” Ben turned to look out over the room while you tried to finish your painting without smudging anything, occasionally making comments about other people there or the art that decorated the room. You took one last look at what you’d painted, the guitar with the words stun gun lullaby written in cursive beside it, “Alright, I’m done now, you can look. Careful, some of it’s still wet.” Ben gently took hold of the handle and turned the mug so the design faced him. He broke out into a grin and you felt relieved that he liked it. “It’s definitely a masterpiece. For someone who didn’t know how to draw a guitar you’ve done an incredible job. And how did you know that’s one of my favourite songs?” “Is it? It's just the song I overheard you playing that one time. I thought that line was a good one for a mug. Nice and short so I didn’t have to paint too much.” “This is definitely my new favourite mug.” “Oh stop it.” “And hey, they kind of match.” You laughed when he pointed out the similarities, “Guess they do. Y’know that’d make a pretty cute Instagram post.” “You going to tag me as my mug?” “Of course. You could post a photo and tag me in it too,” “I don’t know. I don’t really post much personal stuff online.” “Well at least comment on mine,” “I can do that.”

After you’d taken a decent photo and posted it online you cleaned up, handed your mugs over to the woman running the night’s activity and stepped back out into the night. There was no sign of the photographer anywhere and you supposed he’d got what he needed and then left. Still, Ben grabbed your hand as you walked back up the street, just in case you’d missed the photographer in the crowd. “Guess that means we don’t have to worry about going home together,” you said, nudging Ben. “Guess not,” his lips quirked down in a soft frown.” “What is it?” “Nothing, nothing, just...feels kind of weird to just end the date here, I guess,” he scratched the back of his head and laughed, “Normally I’d offer to give you a lift home. Or at least give you a good night kiss, but I guess that’s not really needed now.” “Well, it’s like you said, we’re just friends having a fun night out. We could share a ride home though, if you wanted. You live near enough to mine it wouldn’t matter.” “Nah, don’t worry about it. I actually might go grab something to eat, don’t think that burger was quite enough. See you on Monday?” “Oh, yeah, okay, see you Monday.” There was a pause, both of you hesitating and then Ben gave you a much too quick hug before he walked off, disappearing into the crowd. You sighed and hailed a passing cab, spending the whole ride home wondering what the hell had just happened. But you pushed it from your mind once you were home, going through your usual nightly routine and very deliberately thinking of anything other than Ben. It didn’t help much. You still dreamt about him. Dreamt about the goodnight kiss you’d missed out on.

When you woke you had to laugh at yourself. You were sure that, had you binged a few episodes of a tv show or read something before you’d gone to bed you would have dreamt about it instead. Brains were suggestable like that. When you felt awake enough you rolled over and grabbed your phone finding a text from Ben and one from Felicity and an email from Mary. You opened Mary’s first, skimming over it and vowing to look at it properly once you had a coffee in your system. Ben’s was much easier to understand, a short message to say he had fun last night and that he’d pick the mugs up on his way to work on Monday. Felicity’s was just a series of question marks. You sent back a short response saying the date had been a lot of fun. It wasn’t enough and she was bound to come back at you asking for more details, but it would have to satisfy her. Slowly you got out of bed and made yourself a coffee, setting your laptop up next to you at the kitchen counter so you could try to read Mary’s email again. There was some information about some scripts she was going to send you, a couple of potential future roles, but the majority of the email was about you and Ben. She’d already seen the photos, apparently, and some of them would be run in the coming week’s magazine while others were being put online. She’d also seen the Instagram post and commended you for thinking of it. Another date would have to be organised, but it was better to wait until the next weekend or even the one after, so as not to fatigue the public.

So you and Ben fell into the routine of it. An email from one or other of your agents sometimes as vague as just telling you to organise a date, sometimes much more specific in what they wanted you to be doing, then the date itself, and in between work where you played up the romance as much as possible. You got good at pretending to stay over at each other's places, often just hanging out watching TV or running lines until the photographer called it a night and you were free to leave. Once or twice you’d opted to sleep in your own bed but get up early and head over to Ben’s for the required morning after shots but that process got old very quickly so you ended up actually staying over more and more. There was one day when your period came unexpectedly while you were at Ben’s. You were halfway through asking him to take you home when he offered to run to the store for you instead. “No, no, you don’t have to go out of your way like that, I’ve got plenty at home I just didn’t think I’d need any today.” “Y/N, I promise, it’s no trouble. I feel bad I don’t have anything here for you already. Been a while since I’ve lived with a girl and it didn’t even cross my mind. Seriously, it’ll take me two minutes.” When you still weren’t convinced he continued, “Plus, if I go we won’t ruin Peter and Mary’s plan for today. And the Paps can get a shot of me staring at boxes of tampons like a good caring boyfriend. It’ll help our image.” “Oh alright, as long as you don’t mind.” He was out the door a second later and back within ten minutes, though you did get a call from him at the shop, asking what brand you preferred. Once he was home, he made you a cup of tea, gave you a painkiller and, after checking you didn’t mind, cuddled up with you on the couch, teasingly calling you his cuddle bunny as he pulled you back against his chest. You almost complained, almost cited Rule 5, but it wasn’t so bad. Some might even go so far as to call it cute. It was better than snookum at any rate.

The dates themselves got easier after the first. You knew what to expect now so it wasn’t as nerve wracking as before. And Ben was always fun to be around, your list of inside jokes steadily growing as he became the one person you spent the most time with. You let yourselves relax a bit. On your third date Ben’s arm stayed glued around your waist as you walked around the zoo, only losing contact when a lemur jumped on his shoulder and you stepped back to take a photo. It wasn’t low enough to violate the rules you’d put in place but his hand was dangerously close to falling below your belt, and it was definitely something you would have put a stop to when you first started the charade. The Instagram posts had got more frequent too, though Ben still refused to post anything to his own profile. But he commented on everything you posted whether it involved him or not. And people were buying it. You’d been moved from page 15 to page 13 and then to page 10 in the magazines. You both picked up more followers online as your photos were shared across Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr. There were some downsides like rude comments and nasty messages but mostly they were easy to ignore. Worse were the phone calls and messages from family members and friends asking when they’d get to meet Ben. He’d had to fend off his own family as well, but you both stuck to Rule 4, making up excuses and promising it would happen eventually, but it just wasn’t possible right now. But your biggest problem was the issue of intimacy. It wasn’t the lack of sex itself, that was easily managed. It was that Ben had started to intrude on your fantasies. You’d be there with your fingers or your toys and suddenly it was Ben’s voice you were thinking of, Ben’s hands, Ben’s teeth and tongue and chest. Ben’s name falling from your lips. And you knew it was just because you were pretending to date him, on and off set. It was the dumb suggestable brain thing again. The thoughts were only there because you were pretending to be in love with him and usually sex was tied up with love or at least relationships. And really, you hadn’t been attracted to anyone much lately because you hadn’t been looking because you’d been pretending to be attracted to Ben so it’s really no wonder you’re brain got all confused and mixed him into those other thoughts. The first time you saw him after it first happened you wondered if he could tell, a slightly flustered awkwardness hanging over you. But it wasn’t worth mentioning to anyone. You just vowed to push him out of your mind as much as you could.

Nearly two months later you found yourselves back in the office where the idea of pretending to date was first floated. With filming drawing to a close Mary and Peter were keen to check in with you. The first thing either of them said when you and Ben turned up is how well the story was going. “Projections have the sales for this movie increased by five percent, just because of your relationship and that number is expected to grow as we get closer to release,” Mary spoke fast though whether that was excitement at the boosted numbers or just a busy schedule rushing her along you weren’t sure. “What happens now?” Ben asked, “I mean, since we won’t be filming together anymore after this week,” “That’s exactly why we wanted to talk with you both today,” Peter opened a pocket notebook and thumbed through a couple of pages, “so not much will change but we may occasionally need to balance out the loss of on set photos with shots of you out and about together. Nothing stressful and all very easily staged. You probably wouldn’t even need to be out for more than an hour or so at a time. People have been loving the domestic sort of photos you’ve been putting online, Y/N, that one of you using the coffee mugs you painted was especially good. So we’d like a few more of those sorts of moments. The two of you grocery shopping or walking a dog, do either of you have a dog? No? Hmmm, we could hire a dog and write a story about you sitting for a friend. We’ll put a pin in that for now. But yes, just some candid shots of you walking around London and doing regular everyday things together.” “We’ll also need to schedule the argument soon. We’re thinking somewhere within the first two weeks of filming being over. It means we can run speculation about whether the relationship is on the rocks now that you aren’t working together anymore. We’ll see how things go this week and make some decisions later, but we’ll give you plenty of warning before you have to perform it. Obviously, it has to be scheduled so we can guarantee someone will get photos but we need it to seem as natual as possible so we’ll leave the specifics of the argument up to you.” You nodded along but Ben had more questions. “What does this mean for any jobs we might be looking at taking after this movie wraps?” “You can still take on whatever roles you want provided they’re filming here. It’s harder to keep you in the public eye if you’re separated and while the drama of a long-distance relationship might be interesting at first, it’s not sustainable.” “If it was filming somewhere else in the UK we could maybe organise something. We’d have to look into it and see if it was possible to stick to our same plan but just shift the location. Maybe have a weekend visit angle to it, Y/N flies out to see Ben, Ben comes home to see Y/N, that kind of thing.” “Leave it with us Ben and we’ll get back to you on the logistics of it all.” “Oh, that’s okay, I don’t have anything set in stone, I was just curious.” “Is there anything else you have questions about?” “No, I don’t think so,” He looked towards you. “No, I’m all good.” “Okay, well, if you think of anything you can message us any time.” “Really, though, this is going very well. It’s already paying off but we need to keep the momentum during the post-production phase, so we need you both to be committed to this.” “We are.” “Unbelievably committed,” Ben added.

You and Ben left the meeting joking about potential arguments you could have and for the rest of the day, whenever you passed each other in the halls or had a moment alone you’d try to one up each other's suggestions. It was a good way to keep your spirits up even though the end of filming was fast approaching. One by one each cast member recorded their last scenes, saying an emotional thank you to the crew when the director called cut. You and Ben were the last to finish since you were the leads. A small pillow talk scene that you could do in your sleep. It was a nice way to end it, lying in bed with Ben’s arms around you, even with the heat of the studio lights. While you were waiting for the cameras to be positioned you and Ben joked around with the crew that were flitting around angling mics and adjusting set decorations. “Hey, Seth,” Ben said suddenly, “can you pass me my phone. I think we need to document this moment. What d’you say, cuddle bunny?” You laughed and poked him in the side but agreed. Ben stuck his arm straight up into the air, trying to angle the camera just right but he couldn’t quite get the photo to take without blurring. Seth took pity on you and offered to take the photo himself, allowing you and Ben to snuggle in close. “If you post it on Insta you better credit me,” Set laughed, turning it round to show you. “I’ll do that,” He said with a smile, “It’s pretty cute, I think I have to post it.” “Really?” you asked, surprised he’d volunteer to do such a thing. Ben didn’t have a chance to respond because everything was ready to go. Seth put the phone back away so you could film the scene, laughing in between takes until everyone was satisfied. “That’s a wrap on Ben Hardy and Y/N Y/L/N everybody,” A round of applause started as you pushed yourself to sit up, trying to stop yourself from welling up. “And that’s a wrap on The Perfect Match.” The applause continued and Ben pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing your back and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You had to say a few words but you managed to get through it, and Ben’s little speech, without completely losing it. Afterwards, as people packed up the equipment and you headed back to your trailers to change, Ben pulled out his phone again. “I guess I should post that photo now, how’s this caption,” he said each word slowly as he typed it out, “Thank you Y/N for being the perfect Edith to my Andy. And thank you @theperfectmatchmovie for finding me my perfect match.” “Did you tag me?” “Of course,” “Did you tag Seth?” “Uhhhh, camera emoji by @seththesoundman. Now I have,” “Then it’s perfect. Little bit cheesy but I’ll let it slide.” “I’ll post another lot of photos with everyone else later and write a longer thing about how much fun this movie was and all of that, but I think this’ll do for the minute. Mary and Peter better fucking appreciate it.”

That evening most of the cast and crew headed out for drinks at the local pub. The official party would come later but everyone needed to get out and celebrate for an evening. You and Ben stayed for a few hours, Ben getting a little more clingy with each drink he finished. You limited yourself to only a couple. Ben wasn’t going to be able to drive so you decided to fall on that sword, switching to water quite early on. When he reached the point of intoxication that had him constantly complementing everyone you decided to call it a night, taking a final lap to say goodnight to everyone. There were a few wolf whistles and slurred comments about getting some as you left, Ben’s arm around your waist and his laugh in your ear, but you waved them off and led Ben out to your car. “C’mon Benny boy, I’ll drop you home.” “What about my car?” “Well you’ll have to come get it in the morning, won’t you.” He hummed and lay his head against the back of the seat, chatting animatedly as you made the trip to his. You wished him goodnight as he got out of the car and watched him make his way up to his front door. There he paused, patting his pockets. “Everything alright? You called out to him. “I don’t have any keys,” he laughed, turning around to come back to the car. “You fucking goon, did you leave them at the pub?” “Guess so,” he shrugged, “Can I crash at yours?” “Get in,” “Thanks cuddle bunny, you’re the best” You rolled your eyes, “Guess this means I’ll be your taxi tomorrow, running you around to find your keys and your car,” “That’s what girlfriends are for,” “If you say so.”

Once at yours you headed to the kitchen to make tea, Ben following to grab a glass of water and a snack. He knew where you kept everything by now, making himself a sandwich with whatever he found in your fridge, and then carrying it out to the couch. By the time the teas were made Ben already had Netflix queued up, ready to play the next episode of the series you’d started watching together. Nearly Twenty minutes into the episode Ben’s phone dinged. “Ah shit,” he said as he glanced at it, “forgot I said I’d call Joe. Do you mind if we pause the ep? We’re trying to organise travel stuff for him and it’s easier if we talk it through rather than texting it all.” “Sure,” “I promise I won’t be long.” “Take your time, it’s fine,” you were already reaching for your laptop. Ben smiled at you before ducking out of the room. You head him walking down the hall, footsteps fading as he got further away. For a while you just enjoyed the quiet as you checked your emails and social media profiles but after commenting on the photo Ben had posted and replying to a few messages from people you knew there wasn’t really much left to do. You drummed your fingers on your keyboard trying to think of another website you could visit. There was still no sign of Ben and you didn’t want to continue the show without him so you stood up, stretched, and headed back to the kitchen to grab some chocolate from the stash you kept. You were just about to shut the fridge when you heard Ben’s voice coming from the other side of the wall. Your spare room where he’d clearly gone to make his phone call. “Yeah, Joe, I fucking know. But I don’t have much choice.” He sounded more sober than he had when he’d got up. There was a pause as Joe spoke and then you heard Ben again. “I don’t know what I was thinking getting into this mess…..Yeah maybe. Doesn’t really matter though now does it…. What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t just call it quits now, the story is doing too well and Peter has assured me that the numbers are promising or whatever I don’t really know how they measure it. All I know is that people are going to see the movie because of us.” There was a long pause. You quietly shut the fridge and took a step back towards the doorway. This was not a conversation you should be listening in to. But then Ben spoke again, and curiosity got the better of you. “It doesn’t matter Joe. It doesn’t matter how I feel.” He laughed but it was completely devoid of humour, “Of course it sucks. It’s fucking shit, man. I just keep waiting for her to tell me she feels the same but it’s not happening…... No, I know it’s completely one sided…..No, I don’t think she knows. She wouldn’t have wanted to do it in the first place if she knew…. I just wish things were different. I love being around her and being able to hold her and kiss her but it fucking sucks that it’s only in public….. I don’t know. Maybe not filming together will ma-” You could feel your cheeks burning as you tiptoed back towards the lounge room, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You paced back and forth for a moment before deciding to go to the bathroom, at least then Ben couldn’t walk in on you as you tried to process it. You let the door shut loudly behind you, hoping that if Ben had heard movement he’d think you’d just got up to use the loo. He couldn’t know you’d overheard him. You leaned against the sink and tried to make sense of what you’d heard. Ben couldn’t have a crush on you, he just couldn’t. But it was the only thing he could have been talking about. What the fuck did that mean for your arrangement? What the fuck were you meant to do now?

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhhhhh #ya'll im so excited about this series #i have all the chapters planned out #i have all the titles planned out #i wrote a short synopsis of the film they're making #so that i can reference it throughout the fic and be consistent in what the scenes might be #god can ben please just make a romcom now #i want it more than anything in the world

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jam-is-my-food · 3 years

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writing asks. all of them. ( for 50 uhh just write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you </3 )

fUCK YOU NESSIE

THAT’S IT IM DOING IT JUST TO SPITE YOU

this is gonna be long asf click keep reading at risk of death or boredom

1. Do you listen to music when you write?

not usually, it's distracting

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

naturally pantser but if i wanna actually finish smth i gotta plot it hh

3. Computer or pen and paper?

computer i'm not a boOmer /j i so am

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

bitch i wiSh

actually technically i was published in this anthology thing once? and i think i have a piece in a magazine somewhere on the internet i forget those are cool

but yeah bye getting a novel published is my d r e a m (gotta write a novel first tho lawl)

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

n o t m u c h

unless i get one of my bUrsts aka finishing a 2.3K almoons chapter before 8am the other week after procrastinating it for like two months

but yeah jdsghliuedskj it um depends often none

6. Single or multiple POV?

i answered that for kiri so i'll just copy paste it over loll

mmm it depends. usually i do single? but i do do multiple occasionally. i almost never do alternating chapters, though, it’s usually more like part one is narrated by person a, part two person b etc.

7. Standalone or series?

baha like i could ever write a series (please, please be jinxing yourself rn refster) aside from that one trilogy when i was 7 but uh yeah atm just standalones but a series would be so cool in future

8. Oldest WIP

the aforementioned trilogy. chronicles of clara. it is incREDIBLE. 10/10. so good. so, so good.

9. Current WIP

i haven't actually mentioned it on tumblr yet but hehehe it's called the wordweaver's apprentice it's fantasy and i'm v excited about it :DD that was ooc but :DD

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

(also answered for kiri, copy-pasting over)

hahahahhahahuhdkjashdglauhsdaugediuskjlkehdsgihkdskhgdkjx

i? try?

it does not go well?

but then i never finish my projects?

send help pls im dying

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

lmao the list is too long

12. Describe your perfect writing space

somewhere w/o distractions

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

hm. idea. that's cool. that's cool. write it down. hype myself up. forget about it within a week.

el em mayo

but like

f r LMAO

okay but fr fr idk i don't usually finish stuff but it'd be idea, brainstorm, plot (sort of), write, agonize, write, finish, throw in the other direction and never touch again bc revision whos she

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

cry and spam my friends

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

i don’t - mm. i don’t tend to get writer’s block? or like - idk what to classify as writer’s block? bc sometimes i get blocked for a certain story, but then i get really into like poetry or sum for a week so it’s fine idk

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

o n e as i said i don't - revision is a no

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

uHhHhhhhh idk???

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

*laughs in gfc*

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

i don't. if you have any ideas please hmu i need it.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

m a n y.

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

mmmmmmmmm i love cass i haven't written her in too long but i think she's probably my most well-done character to date and i'm so proud of her badkghewiludkjs

22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

c y i l l

though possible imeini (ship name needs revision) in future we shall see (from twa) (the aforementioned newish wip)

23. Favourite author

there are Many

24. Favourite genre to write and read

fantasy maybe? ooh dystopia is fun

25. Favourite part of writing

everything about it when i'm motivated hh, my problem is getting more motivation

26. Favourite writing program

oh idk huh?

27. Favourite line/scene

idk?

28. Favourite side character

j o o s t

29. Favourite villain

i def have one but i forget

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

too many

31. Least favourite part of writing

motivating myself :/

32. Most difficult character to write

mmmm i'm not really in the throes of a wip atm so idk

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

yessir

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

drunk will was surprisingly difficult in a fun way. def not the hardest but yeah

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

god idk

36. Last sentence you wrote

And then Mei was gone, and in the space that she'd filled, Imani whispered, "I wish I was like you."

37. First sentence or your current WIP

It is said that when we came to this stretch of Tatys land, it was empty.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

mm there was one about anthropomorphic chickens battling sentient fruits, the fruits in question also being six-year olds

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

s e e a b o v e

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

cass's mom used to have a drug problem & she would leave her alone for long stretches of time, she went to rehab and is now sober but it's where cass gets her abandonment issues from

41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

just write! no one taught me how to do anything, and there's no rules per se, aside from basic grammatical stuff. do what you wanna do, don't worry about others' reactions. this is cliche asf but true.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

mostly gross, but they can be good.

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

adapt. i g o w i t h t h e f l o w.

44. How much research do you do?

not much usually, depends on the genre of story. i do as much as i feel i need to. and ofc i have the random writer search history.

45. How much world building do you do?

in the past, not much. twa (once again my new wip) is fantasy, though, so i' m attempting to remedy that.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

i do! it's fun to look back at them after a few years and see how much i've improved.

47. Best way to procrastinate

random character headcanons/doodle writey spurt thingies

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

bAHA this one scene in the cHrOniCLeS of cLaRa book two when this girl lisa who was 100% self-insert got annoyed at her little sister daisy (sister-insert) for chewing too loudly and then proceeded to use her wAtEr pOwErs to like flood the house. that part was less self-insert.

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

bye that's so hard. c a d m u s & l a u r e n t tho cinnamon rolls are liFE.

50. Write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you

i don't gotta write my own bitch i have everything i need to plagiarize from right here

"Raver-Lampman’s enthusiasm is contagious. So is her laugh. It comes from deep inside, just like her voice, and it rings out — ricocheting off furniture and walls. Her head is shaved, all except for a distinctive swath of tight curls on the top and left side of her head. She has the tiniest septum ring in her nose, and a tattoo of what looks like a musical note behind her right ear."

- the clearly gay jessica belt

thank you for the ASKS darLING and thank you if you read this idk why or whether you're okay but yup

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livlepretre · 4 years

Note

for the writing ask! 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 20, 21, 30, 31, 32, 44, 48, 51, 53, 54 (any other advice?) - sorry for all the questions. im just really curious, lol

oh geez haha I will endeavor to answer!

8. Favorite trope to write.

obviously enemies to lovers 😈

9. Least favorite trope to write. can I list fluff as a trope

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I hit publish the same way other people do impulsive things like jump off a bridge (I did that too once. woke up with nightmares about it for weeks). When you’re doubting yourself-- and I doubt myself all! the! time!-- the best thing to do is to steel yourself for like 5 seconds, take the leap, and then wait. Most of the time people are incredibly kind and receptive, and whatever plot point was causing the anxiety will either go unnoticed or will be appreciated by someone out there. I feel like so long as the writing comes from a place of honesty and isn’t about sensationalizing or taking advantage of anyone, then it will work out.

13. How do you deal with writers block? I let myself put the work down and don’t stress about it. I have a rule where I only write if I feel like writing. It’s a hobby for me, so if I decide I would rather watch The Office or go for a walk with my husband, I just do what I want instead. A lot of times that’s because I have writer’s block, but writer’s block can’t be pushed.

If I am determined to write here are some strategies I employ:

Chances are I’m stuck because I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, or I’m not certain of what a character would do. So I reread the story up until that point, make notes on anything I laid down earlier that is relevant to the part I’m on, and map out character motivations. Hopefully this helps me create a working outline that will push me forward.

If I’m stuck because of trouble writing the story in a more profound sense, I put the story down and start something new and low stress. In other words, I intentionally start a project where the bar for publication is super low. For example, both Love Bites and (The Stars Were Brightly Shining) are pretty much first draft stories. I would write the chapter and hit publish same day (most of the time). This gave me something fun to do that was still exercising the writing muscle but also gave me the opportunity for positive feedback and made writing fun again.

If I can’t write at all, then I turn to reading. I read things that I really like, and I take notes on what I like about the story both from a narrative structure/plot perspective and in terms of the writer’s style and word choice. In theory we’re supposed to read a lot as writers, and writer’s block is a great chance to do so.

And, eventually, I’ll be cooking or typing up something for work or in the shower and the missing puzzle piece will fall into place. It’s okay if that takes months. I’ve had 4 hiatuses on FE that have lasted 4-6 months each. So long as you want to finish the story, you will.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? ehhh probably watching seasons 1-2 of The Originals so I could figure out certain plot elements for FE. I do get sucked into research holes every now and then, but as they’re largely useless I try to scramble out of them as quickly as possible. (I say this with fear in my heart for the research I would have to do to write the 1492 time travel story I have in mind)

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

Poetry, books I read and love, folklore, songs, my unhappy adolescence

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

Honestly I get A LOT of motivation from everyone who reads and sends me a message. FE is a much bigger and much more arduous project than I anticipated, and the support has been a HUGE help. Also, for my other projects like SWBS, it’s such an inspiration to keep thinking about it and to get back to it whenever someone mentions it to me. I really do thrive on the community aspect of writing.

Also, it’s turned out that the older I’ve gotten the more disciplined I’ve grown as a writer. I’m 30 now, and there’s a huge difference between my writing habits the last few years and what passed for them when I was 21 and writing After the Fire, But Before the Flood.

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Three broken ribs, a punctured lung, a broken collarbone, and a concussion, with bruising along her face, from where it connected with the side pillar, and along her throat and chest from the seatbelt. Two dead parents. A low buzz throughout the town: her name on everyone’s lips. - Nights at the Museum

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

Damon looks at her and cants his head to the side and he tells her, voice flip and unreachable as only his can be, “I see you’ve cheated death again.” He makes it sound like it’s him she’s cheated by not finishing the turn.

She opens her mouth to respond, but what can she say? Death still sits heavy in her lungs. Smoke burns her eyes and blood clogs her nose. She could choke on the smothering weight of it all. On the weight of his expectation in her. His disappointment.

“I never wanted to be a vampire,” she tells him, finally.

The look Damon gives her strips her bare. Somehow over the past six months she has let him in, and now that he is here, she cannot hide from him. “You never wanted to make a choice with your eyes open.”

-Innocence

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

well this is pretty spoilery for FE, so, reader beware:

Rebekah has her pinned by an arm around her waist, her back flush to Rebekah’s front, both of them kneeling on the bed, while Rebekah reaches around and slowly fucks her with her hand. - Fairytale Ending

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

Right now I am very fond of this:

Looking up into his face, into his eyes, gone dark and blue as the river back home when the moon was low in the sky, she finally admits the truth she's been hiding from herself for months. The thing she has been most afraid to ever, ever say, even to herself. Her gravest sin, which in this moment, feels like her redemption. "I love you." Saying it out loud is like the moment she drove the knife into her own side. - Fairytale Ending

31. Hardest character to write.

Damon -- he has a very particular kind of humor and cynicism which I find really difficult to replicate (although I think I’m getting more confident)

32. Easiest character to write.

Klaus-- literally there is nothing too extreme, it’s so much fun

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. This will make like no sense but it’s from a creative writing class I took in high school, and the feedback was actually given to one of my friend, and I’ve remembered it ever since: “You have to use your avocado knives.” The context was basically he mentioned a pair of avocado knives sitting on a table and they never come up again. It’s the chekhov’s gun idea: when you put something down in the story, you have to actually use it. Everything in the narrative should have meaning if it’s mentioned, and work either functionally, metaphorically, or emotionally.

48. Favorite genre to write in. Horror.

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words. I’ll assume this is for FE:

Gothic horror, where the blood is both in the grass and on the heroine’s hands.

53. What does writing mean to you? It’s just something that I really, really like.

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

I shared the bulk of it yesterday so here’s the rest: do what you want and have fun.

#evanescentrainbow #asks #ask game #on writing #fairytale ending #innocence #nights at the museum

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axemetaphor · 3 years

Text

my post for day 2 of this week is full of spiders 2020 is simply that WTHDIJR is one of the Few books that i literally Had to take breaks from reading because it freaked me out a hell of a lot and i both deeply admire that and know that it’s why that’s the only book of the series i havent attempted to reread (yet) //cont under the cut but it’s super rambly lmao. also tw drugs/suicidal ideation/all the shit that Happened in WTHDIJR, yaknow

for me personally it honestly was like, in part because 1) i had no idea if there was gonna be a 4th book at the time of reading it and 2) john’s Problems in specific are actually--i don’t know if i have claim to this word but it’s the one i’ll use because i just cant think of a more accurate one--genuinely triggering for me so the book having More Detail On That kinda fucked with me. especially that bit where dave thinks john died. fucking hell dude lmao. also 3) dave’s issues with depression in that book, specifically, Hit Really Close To Home. it was legit that moment in the bookstore where he realizes there’s no way he could get Amy a gift that made me go “ah. oh no. kin.”

that being said i actually love the book a lot, it’s just a really tough read for me lol. i liked that much as the shenanigans happening were Fairly Obviously set up to make the characters (and reader tbh) doubt their perceptions and i love that even though it was basically prime setup for “oh no the conflict is the characters don’t trust each other now because of all of the This” the trio did the polar opposite. i’d kinda already figured, thanks to TBIFOS, that John, Dave and Amy trust each other wholeheartedly, but WTHDIJR really just laid it all out, man. particularly that bit about Dave deciding that if Amy was a monster, they’d jsut be monsters together. god, dude, i love that.

there’s so many moments in WTHDIJR that truly Hit, you know? it’s got a lot of excellent scenes, just like the last 2 books honestly, and it makes me look forward to the 4th book even more

...except im still scared john will die LMAO

#this week is full of spiders #twifos #twifos2020 #this week is full of spiders 2020 #thisweekisfullofspiders2020 #jdate #not sonic #john dies at the end #i wish id done an art for today but im still kinda like fucked u pand scrambled and stuff lol sorry #but !! yeah #i am Participating #woofuckinhoo #delete later ? idk i think this post is kinda annoying actually

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thetransguard-archive · 4 years

Text

tag game: 50 Qs

i wasnt tagged but i saw this post off @nicolodigenovas and what can i say i just have a bit of time to burn so im burnin it!

what is the color of your hairbrush? black bcos im boring

name a food you never eat: pickles. i will not eat pickles not on pain of death much to the disappointment and horror of my parents

are you typically too warm or too cold? i only ever get cold??? im used to the tropics i guess

what were you doing 45 mins ago? studying :) for :) my :) final :) exams :)

what’s your favorite candy bar? idrc but i will go insane for hard candies

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i actually haven’t? i’ve done a fair amount of school sports etc etc but i dont have a vested interest in professional sport. that being said i wanna go to a serena williams or naomi osaka match before i die

what is the last thing you said out loud? they were sung but um the lyrics to cigar by tamino i love that song so much

what is your favorite ice cream? coffee flavoured

what was the last thing you had to drink? oh just water

do you like your wallet? i dont own wallets i just shove money into the pockets of my jackets and jeans and hope to god i remember to fish it out before it goes into the wash

what is the last thing you ate? dinner which was lasagna

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i bought new formal pants for my school formal which is happening at some point as well as a gold chain that is very not heterosexual looking of me

what’s the last sporting event you watched? must’ve been the american open final?

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? sweet n salty i like it kind of mild but plain is intolerable to me

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my year seven group chat!! crazy how im still friends with the same fundamental circle of 8 people like 6 years later

ever been camping? yes it was fun i got to light shit on fire

do you take vitamins? nope

do you regularly attend a place of worship? temple is reserved for special occasions so no

do you have a tan? i have never had a sunburn in my life thank you viet genes for my rights

do you prefer Chinese or pizza? pizza i pretty much never have chinese food tbh

do you drink your soda through a straw? no we chug like men

what color socks do you usually wear? white or obnoxiously patterned

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive all that much but when i do no im only a learner so

what terrifies you? being forgotten and alone aha

look to your left, what do you see? the tube of hair dye that will make my hair blue eventually

what chore do you hate most? folding clothes something about it is just wired to irritate everything inside of me

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? SFDGHJKL;GDJKSL this question is so funnily specific and i just dont Think like thats what im surrounded by 24/7 so

what’s your favorite soda? sprite? some variation of lemonade methinks

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru

what’s your favorite number? 7

who’s the last person you talked to? i called my friend dom a few hours ago

favorite cut of beef? idc

last song you listened to? currently listening to habibi by tamino

last book you read? i was rereading orlando by virginia woolf yesterday

favorite day of the week? idk why i’ve always been partial to thursdays

can you say the alphabet backwards? i can barely say it forwards dude

how do you like your coffee? black or a mocha no inbetween

favorite pair of shoes? i have these really nice black boots that give me a lot of weight when i walk

time you normally get up? awake at 7, actually up at 9 if i can help it

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

how many blankets on your bed? just the one

describe your kitchen plates. mostly plain white porcelain, but we have a few with blue flowers painted on them that we get for cheap from the same viet grocery where we get our rice from

describe your kitchen at the moment. very dark, the only sound i’m hearing is the dishwasher going. it is 1:30am so i mean...

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? we mix beer in with lemonade its nice

do you play cards? only if my friends bring the cards i dont play by my own volition ever

what color is your car? we have a red car and a black car

can you change a tire? in theory, sure, in practice, not so much

your favorite state? this feels usa centric but im bending it to my will and yes new south wales is my favourite state because i live in it :)

favorite job you’ve had? working in a childcare centre was genuinely the most fun i’d had and i would go back there in a heartbeat if i weren’t aiming for older kids to nail some good solid appreciation for human rights into

i will not be tagging anyone this was purely self indulgent but if u want u can do it :)

#ok ill shut up now goodnight #seph.txt

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hobidreams · 3 years

Note

rain!!!! whew, the amount of times i reread the latest update.... it’s so fucking good that i was just so overwhelmed by my emotions i wanted to screech i am literally losing it and i have no idea where things are gonna go from here but i’m just SO excited you have no idea😭 when jimin showed up you best believe i had to stop reading and take a deep breath because WHEW!!! will he have a major role in the series?

that being said though, remember the thesis i mentioned last time? my professor chose to end our class early because of the academic strike going on, so i won’t actually have to write that paper anymore,,,, but to answer your question, it was about the demonization of women in power as shown in media! beom-su’s character being generally nice and sweet had me re-examining my own biases and got me thinking, “huh, why do we always expect “superior/powerful” women to be awful people?”

anywayyysssss, this is a friendly reminder that your writing is godtier and if you ever decide to publish your own book, i would be first in line to get it!!!!!! ily miss rain i hope you’re well! -🌿

BABYYYYY im so glad u enjoyed it!!! he definitely comes back & that’s all im gonna say for now hehehe 🥰 im glad u felt all the feels (but this sunday will have even more--) i look forward to reading your response (or freak out... 🤣)

ahhh omg well im glad u dont have to do work but that sounds like such a fun paper!!! i hope u can maybe still use the idea in the future. honestly media always has this tendency to demonize women in power, ur right. it’s awful but slowly changing as more and more women take the leads in writing our media 🥰

SDFALJKSAF fr i don’t think i’ll ever publish a novel or anything, but poetry!! i have an idea for a poetry collection that i hope one day can be realized 🥺✨ i miss writing so much ahhh. i havent been really creative in the last few weeks so i feel all plugged up with it LOL 💞 anyway take care babe!!!

#rain reply #dreamers #moonlit throne

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kinktae · 4 years

Note

hello im here to say that im very very inexplicably excited for flesh and blood! yeah! im very excited for it uwu hope you have fun writing it! i love zombie aus

Anonymous said: i love your flesh and blood story!! it’s literally so cute i couldn’t help but gush over YN and JK’s interactions. I was wondering did the movie warm bodies inspire you? 🤣

it did!! :D

Anonymous said: how many parts will there be of flesh and blood and bitchin?

Anonymous said: Hi I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but how many parts will flesh and blood have? I love the story so far 💚

Anonymous said: you probably get asked this alot 😭 so forgive me but how many parts is flesh and blood and bitchin' going to have? asdfghjkl

Anonymous said: you should leave us thirsty and wait for the smut until pt. 4 of flesh and blood 😈

f&b has only 3 parts :)

Anonymous said: I just finished the Flesh and Blood and mind if I say it's BRILLIANT 😍 I have a question tho if JK is not eating y/n and namjoon will he be full with just human foods ? Like how many longer that those candies will keep him from taking a bite from y/n lol? Btw don't wanna sound like needy little brat but when will the next part come I'm so excited about this fic ??

;) guess you’ll just have to wait til part 3

jeonnsfww said: Hey!!! I am absolutely OBSESSED with your new fic flesh and blood and I was just wondering when you will be coming out with the part two? THANK YOU SO MUCHA AND I LOVE YOU!!!

Anonymous said: when are we getting a flesh and blood update ??🥺

Anonymous said: When is flesh and blood gonna be updated?

joonsbbygxrl said: ok honestly tho? I love flesh and blood so much!!! I've never really read anything like that before so when I came across it I was a bit cautious but now I am OBSESSED! when's the next part coming out?? ♡

dej-okay said: i just read flesh and blood and mayhaps it's my favorite thing in the world 👉👈 is there a taglist or anything for it so i can know if a new chapter comes out 👀

Anonymous said: When will you update flesh and blood ? I love it and YOU so much

taetae123094 said: Can't wait for the next chapter of flesh and blood!!!!😁 When do you think you'll be posting????

Anonymous said: when do you think part 3 of f&b will be out?

I’m not sure when i’ll post the next part and I don’t do taglists, i’m sorry :(

Anonymous said: god....I want a happy ending for flesh & blood. I wouldn’t know how to act if something ended up happening to Jungkook. Hopefully this pussy brings him back to life and he can live on🙉🙉🙈🙈

Anonymous said: Hello! I just wanted to say I finished binge reading your Tempting fic and oh my goodness it was so amazing!! This story was so well written and the characters are so fleshed out; I am incredibly invested in their livelihoods! Thank you so much for creating this series and for making my Halloween beautiful 😊

Anonymous said: I never really send any messages or anything, but God, girl! Flesh and blood had me SCREAMING!!!! 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: OMG YES FLESH AND BLOOD ILYSM

jungkookkilledme said: I've read almost everything you've written, It gives me so many feels I can't take it lmao. CAN NOT WAIT FOR FLESH AND BLOOD PART 3!!! In the whole supernatural realm, zombies are the creatures I absolutely hate but then you came for my neck (or should I say flesh) with zombie! jk. my hoe ass is ready for some weird zombie smut. I hate myself. pls make him jealous lol

Anonymous said: Rereading bitchin’ while I wait for flesh and blood pt.2 Y/N gets to fuck Jungkook in his life and his death. Damn Y/N won

Anonymous said: FLESH AND BLOOD PT 2, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything about it is so good. I love JK’s development (‘: I want to protect him and make sure he doesn’t suffer anymore )): THE KISS SCENE WAS SO CUTE AHHHH. But I really hope that jk, joon, and the reader come up w a plan that keeps them safe from the govt. I know this is all over the place but you are so talented and I hope u know it!!!!! If you wrote chapter books, I would buy every single one

s-u-t said: I love Flesh and Blood part 2, thank you for sharing it with us💕

Anonymous said: flesh and blood is so good rose what the fuck how dare u to finish like that

Anonymous said: i’m reading flesh and blood in class and i’m having the hardest time not the scream

Anonymous said: hey! i've been crazy obsessed with flesh and blood since i read it a few days ago. i still reread it every night, and i just watched warm bodies because of it. i just really love the way you wrote it and the way you captured the story. you encapsulated the growing hope of zombie!jjk well and like, the really sweet and innocent underlying romance. i especially love the 'lil kiss scene, it was really cute. i can't wait to get to the end :) thank you for writing it!

haniexiddd said: flesh and blood is amazing!!!!!!!am i excited for the upcoming zombie sex?? yes i am... and i have no shame

jungkook-is-my-baby said: I love love love Flesh and Blood 🤞💗

Anonymous said: flesh and blood is a beauty thank u ilysm💓

callistojjk said: I love your writing and I just wanted to say that flesh and blood is one of my faves!! How did you make a zombie attractive??? 😩Anywho I read both parts TWICE in a span of three days so there’s that I guess!! I recently started this tumblr to post my first own jk fic and it was partially you who inspired me!! Looking forward to the next part 😍💕

Anonymous said: Hello I just wanted to slide in and say that flesh and blood is so damn good!!! And the way you write is just *chefs kiss* ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: flesh and blood has me HOOKED i’m so hyped for the next part. ur writing is impeccable

Anonymous said: FLESH & BLOOD IS 👌👌👌👌👌👌 I’m usually not into that trope but you make me love this story. Thank youuuuuu

anjelicjazz said: Holy crap Rose!! Flesh and Blood omg!! I had so many warm fuzzy flashbacks to Warm Bodies it's insane! lol that being said I love that while it's in the same au you're writing it to be their story. I can tell you love the idea of it and that you're taking your time with them. They deserve a great story and I just...ah!! Thank you for writing it!! My whole heart revolves around Zombie Jungkook and his impish antics lol~

THANK U EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!! I read them all and im sorry im only just now getting to them

way-too-addicted-to-anime said: Namjoon in F&B: Say sike right now! Me: .... I mean I can but that ain't gonna be an accurate statement. P.S. How do you manage to write crack seriously like???

Anonymous said: Hhh actually I was just about to mention that your characterization of Joon in F&B is one of my favourites cause while genius!Joon is a famous agenda in the army fanfic community, its always half-assed y'know? Like they'll write him as a whole 148 IQ einstein who went to harvard when he was 7 but his dialogue would be like "so the square of root of this dimension negative to the pythagorous theory-" like bruh do you know what you're talking about? But you seem to really ground his character. Like Joon in F&B knows shit!!! He's already figured out where the whole "zombies are bad" agenda derived from as well as debunking majoritys opinion on zombies. Not to mention his whole drive for knowledge stems from his insatiable curiosity so now we have a why to the how. Basically, you're really good at writing sksjsks ALSO THE PLOT PACING IN F&B IS AMAZING THANK ILY BYE

THE WAY UR ANALYSIS OF F&B JOON MADE ME WET!!! i sent snippets of his part to my friends and i distinctly remember daisy telling me she wanted to suck his dick skdjskj. I think my capricorn self really just is just self-servicing with my smart boy kink heh

#ask #im cleaning out my inbox folks. we at 548 #Anonymous

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sirotras · 5 years

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8 PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER MEME

tagged by @ghostlygal and @visionmarred thank you!! c:

NAME: Meredith

BIRTHDAY: August 9th

ZODIAC: leo!

HEIGHT: 5′5′

HOBBIES: drawing (actually im not sure that counts since its what i want my career to be...) video games, crochet, knitting, embroidery, reading (havent been doing so much lately, gotta fix that), and ive been dabbling with writing! need to get back to horseback riding, its just so damn hot, and also need to start looking back into dance, ive really missed it :>

FAVORITE COLOR: blue and silver!

FAVORITE BOOK: thats... thats unfair and too hard, but one i rly remember reading and loving was the Swan Kingdom, read it years ago, rly want to reread it sometime, just dont know where my copy is, i still think about it even after so long (its gotta be like, what, nearly ten years at this point??) also i rly love the graceling books and the queen’s thief series! deathless is p great too

LAST SONG LISTENED: im listening to until the night turns by lord huron like, as im typing this

LAST MOVIE WATCHED: mmm i think that would have to be mid sommar, i heard it described as “not so much a horror movie, as it is a dread movie” and i have to strongly agree, very good, also very gory tho so keep that in mind

MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL: so, you see, in 10th grade i decided i wasn’t happy with my deviantart username and i could not decide what i wanted to use instead, i made lists and everything, just trying to figure out smth that i wouldnt hate in a year, and it got to the point where i just. started spelling random words from my bio homework backwards and one of them stuck! fast forward a few years and i find out the worksheet apparently spelled “sartorius” wrong so... tl;dr: it was a mistake i made when i was 15 and ive been to stubborn to fix it :’)

apparently “sartoris” is a novel from the ‘20′s, who knew!

tagging: im just gonna chicken out and not tag anyone, but if you wanna do it, go for it!

#about me #;sakljfd this has been sitting in my drafts for DAYS i just keep forgetting whoops #thank again for the tags!!#with how long the explanation for my url is youd almost think it was smth meaningful #but no its just me being a Fool #ask meme

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the-little-prophet · 4 years

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BDRP Questionnaire 2019

Posting this on Charlie since I actually talked about him quite a bit! Let’s gooooo

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Kiara, Nala, Andrina, Merida, Charlie, Apollo, John, Su, Ashleigh, Nemo, Jun

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

This one goes out to Charlie. I pitched Charlie very deceptively-- claiming he was a prophet, aligning him, at first, with Calliope, making it look like Charlie’s magic was of the classical, Cassandra-inspired kind. But all along, I knew that what I wanted Charlie to be was more of this sci-fi/fantasy blend as an homage to his movie’s sci-fi bend too. This year, I got to actually reveal that Charlie is a time traveler after two years!! This is very exciting for me! I’ve enjoyed being able to lean into Charlie’s new image systems with this reveal, even though I’m out of my depth and breaking like 67 different time travel rules, probably lol. Still, it’s been great to take him to that place, and to invent Future-Charlie as both a deux ex machina and an expression of identity/choice/free will etc etc. I did not have Future-Charlie in mind when I created Charlie, so that was something I was proud of coming up with!

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year?

I’m going to talk about Nemo if only because everyone else feels like a spoiler lol. Nemo, as a relatively new character though, is still full-speed-ahead on his initial goals that I outlined for him in his application. Now that Nemo’s been established in the school and he has this little group of buddies, I want:

To focus on his wing. I want Nemo to push himself, get himself in a spot of trouble, potentially injure himself.

Reveal his wings to at least one mundus friend

Continuing to infuse his posts with body image issues. This is a slow build kind of plot that really is like...the broth of Nemo’s plot-soup, lol, while training for his placement is the chicken and belonging at school is the noodles….it needs to be this throughline more than like, para a, para b, para c. at least for now.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.

I could pick a lot of threads here lol it’s honestly so HARD. But I think I want to shout-out to the Charlie/Jim first kiss thread because it surprised even me and Hannah. We initially planned for the first kiss to be just that-- one kiss, then we done, Jim and Charlie go on to be friends. But like in the best of cases, Jim and Charlie’s palpable chemistry actually informed more of Charlie’s arc and opened up avenues previously closed to me/Charlie since Charlie had been so SHUT to the idea of love. So! I really loved that thread. Also because like, I literally made Charlie experience the big bang after his first kiss. And THAT’S the BEST way to use magic in my opinion. Like when you can infuse magic with an emotional catharsis-- I think the other time I did that super well was similar actually, when Herc kissed Kiki’s cheek and she grew a tree in his room lol. So yeah! Some of my best writing in that thread, amazing chemistry, big surprises. It was an absolute pleasure.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

-Image systems. I dragged myself for this, but I think it’s something that really helps me find a character’s voice and make myself excited to RP them! Also, I think it’s what people like about my writing sometimes. Maybe. IDK, lol. -Complex Emotion: I’m stealing this from my mentor who said I’m good at creating complex emotion and so you know its true. My most introverted characters get the bulk of this naturally--they are introspective and feely and give themselves the space to think and feel. But I really want to try to inject more into my extroverted characters. I think I’m doing well for Nemo, who had undiagnosed anxiety and so that informs a lot of his personality in very interesting-- very OPPOSITE-- ways as Berlioz; Nemo struggles with being alone because ‘alone’ means he gets too in his head. That’s been really fun for me and why he’s quickly become one of my fave voices to write (I know, u all thought it was because I am in love with Jimin (true), but no its bc Nemo is an anxious, big feeling baby and he’s always so Alive to me, plus i was made to write a fairy it was always my destiny.)

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

-Dialogue: PERSONALLY I feel like I’m not great at dialogue. Some posts are better than others and I think I’m good at like…..texting dialogue? IDK. I feel like I struggle in paras though to craft good dialogue. It’s just, rn, average dialogue. Of course not every post needs to have hilarious, punchy, great dialogue. But do my characters sound different? Am I doing all I can to create rhythm and speech patterns? -Filtering: Im being very picky rn, because actually I don’t do this too much, but I do it enough where I’m like, I gotta go read some really stellar writers adn ban myself from using “Feel” and “think” for like a whole month. What I’m talkinga bout is like: Ber realized/ Ber thought / Ber knew. That kind of writing is totally fine, but that’s about it. I need to come up with more creative ways to talk about feelings and abstract concepts!!!

-Character: I know everyone is probably like………….how dare lauryl put this here. But listen. I don’t think I struggle with character on RP. But outside of RP? Oh boy! The THING about RP is you MUST create a character, that’s your vessel for writing here, and so you do all that development plus u got the four years of worldbuilding informing that character, and literally EVERYTHING CHARACTER DRIVEN ITS...THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. Outside of RP though I think I have struggled because my natural affinity is worldbuilding and shit like that. I’m type 5 baby, I am attracted to characters who let me poke at things I don’t know anything about, like even Jun, part of it really is like, petitions and grocery store management lmfadsofij. SOOOo idk I just need to be able to focus on crafting characters that are compelling vessels for the cool shit I like to do outside of RP.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. JOHN DARLING BREAKS INTO FAERYLAND 1. Call Down the Hawk/Raven Cycle: It’s no coincidence that my reread of Raven Cycle last winter played a pretty big part in inspiring this new version of John. The descriptions of the magical forest Cabeswater and the hunt for Glendower have the same kind of contemporary fantasy vibe that I really like for John. And of course, Ronan’s dream magic is very much intertwined with the faery realm feeling like a dream (and Ashleigh, obviously, as a dark faery who can manipulate them). More than that though, the attention paid to the psyches of each character and how they drive the plot forward is just… /chefs kiss. 2. The Mabinogian: I want to draw from these classic Welsh/British stories and incorporate them in creative ways! Or just as, like, motifs are something. :) I have tried to do this but would like to be a lot more intentional, instead of just being like lmao let me look up some random shit for this one reply~ 3. The Hazel Wood: This book deals with characters coming into the real world from a book world! This kind of goes along with the Mabinogian as I kind of ish want to do something similar, only treating the Mabinogian as a historical, cultural text as opposed to a fiction. This book also focuses a lot on fairy tale tropes (like numbers) which I really want to incorporate in John’s stuff. I want to ideally write some of my own fairy tales-- I have one in mind actually through Ashleigh but it’s related to John too since he’d the scholar of said stories.

And now, a wishlist!

-Exploring Nemo’s disability. This is slightly challenging for me since we don’t have many fairies, but I’m brainstorming some ideas and hope to really kick it off in January, leading up to his Talent Placement Test. -I really want to have a lot of town-centric plots for Jun. Would love to rp with the police officers! I want to have Jun try to get some ppl arrested tbh ahah, like, Fflew for loitering, or maybe reporting Mitte. I would love some arch nemeses tbh-- Mitte does seem like a good one. AND I want to submit at least three petitions next semester!! Maybe i should make that two!! Still!! -Do some Bonfamille plots. I already have something I’m really excited about and have already planned here so this is a teaser… -Keep writing essays. The fairies have been great, getting me really inspired to do these.What’s been an amazing mental exercise, and why I cannot stop writing these, is thinking about how the political philosophy of Pixie Hollow informs how it functions: technically, socioculturally etc. It’s really fun for me to basically build a communist thought project and then enact it for real. I feel like I’m learning a lot about...well, societies, lol, and how the material factors endlessly bleed into, and shape, ideas and beliefs (and vice versa). Also, I literally have to do these because when Nemo is IN the Hollow and I want to write him getting a glass of water, I’m faced with a lot of technical questions: do fairies have running water? Does he have to get it from a stream? How do they keep things cool? Etc etc. And that’s why I go off on these, and I’m excited to keep doing them, as many as I can, with feedback from my fellow fairies. Also, do want to do ones that are NOT fairy related, so we’ll see about that. -Write John backstory. He’s gone on a few other adventures and I’d like to actually one-shot those maybe lol. -Alternate Charlie Timeline: This is something that’s bopping around in my head and I haven’t found the perfect way to make it happen, but I want Charlie to travel to an alternate version of his life and get stuck. When I figure out the right way to do this, my partners will also get to rp alternate versions of their characters lol. That’s fun right!! Of course it is, we do it all the time with AUs, but this one obvi be more personal and more closely tied to canon.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP? First and foremost, I RP because it’s writing for the sake of writing-- joy for joy. I think this is even more important this year as I’ve had to focus on mentorship writing outside of RP. RP became the place where I didn’t have to think so hard about making everything make sense, lol. It gave my brain a break so I could be less judgmental of myself and just have fun and do the most ridiculous stuff...and some of my fave stuff iS ridiculous because of that...like Nemo and Sindri making flower crowns or the ASC nonsense. It’s this kind of light, fluffy, low-stake (but still High Stake) stuff that provided me endless joy when I needed it the most. Second of all, I RP because I really want to invest in people’s creative energy. I think doing so gives back to myself. Building canon, helping people brainstorm, seeing people grow-- I feel like a proud mom when I get to have this kind of mentorship role myself. I talked to MK about this, but even though Sam left to go off and do greater things, that’s like-- to me, it was a lot like he was graduating from this weird BDRP school I’ve helped create. I felt nothing but pride and happiness for him and really felt like, if BDRP was to explode tomorrow, I ACHIEVED the thing I set out to do when, four years ago, I sat on my computer and drafted BDRP’s mission and vision and committed myself to this admin role. And THAT’S what I want ideally-- for BDRP to be this collaborative place that doesn’t focus too much on what makes sense, on sitewide plots that force people into roles. I have always wanted plots like ASC and John’s search for Excalibur to be able to exist side by side, and I think we’ve done that. Now we just have to tend this garden, don’t we, haha? May BDRP bear many delicious fruit.

#bdrptask #this is a rambling mess but always fun aint it

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sleevesareforlosers · 1 year

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happy solstice jordan!! one thing i’m looking forward to for the new year that i’m also kind of terrified about is graduating and finally being done with school! i’m anxious about finding work but i think once i’ve got everything smoothed out and in place i’ll be really happy post-grad!

something i’m bringing forward from this year is the work i’ve put into my art, i really want to keep experimenting and pushing myself and not just letting myself get into a rut. i’ve been experiencing a lot of self-doubt this year with my art especially but i’m proud of the way i’ve been managing my time and the challenges i’ve faced so i want to bring that energy with me into 2023 :}

the weather here has been clear and sunny but pretty cold the last few days! right now it’s like 11 pm and it’s about 30 degrees F outside, so that’s like. -1C? during the day it’s more like 35-40 F. i don’t really care much for the cold so i comment on it every time i go outside BUT it’s still nice and it’s given me a chance to wear my new winter coat which is a very cute puffer jacket!

if i could be anywhere right now i think i would still pick to be home :) one of the things i’m most nervous about with moving out on my own is not being in my home where i’m comfortable and have all my stuff with me the way i like it but mostly about not being around my family so i’m enjoying spending as much time as possible living at home during the breaks and being around pretzel and my parents and siblings. also once i move my friends who live around here aren’t going to be as readily available though others will be so there’s that as well 🤔

definitely i am a serial rewatcher/listener/reader! i like the things i’m comfy with and it’s hard for me to go outside of my comfort zone and experience new things with media especially. i reread a lot of books and i rewatch youtube videos and movies and music. especially shows, i really don’t watch a lot of tv, and when i do watch tv i have a tendency to put on old shows that i’m comfortable with. i make exceptions for star wars shows but that’s it and aside from the mandalorian and andor sw has been very disappointing lately so that’s been tough. i think the one thing that may be an exception is music! while i like relistening to all my favorite bands over and over and over on loop i also really enjoy the experience of finding new music that i enjoy and playing that over and over also :)

i hope you’re having a wonderful day danny i love u!! 💝💝💝

pretzel says hello as well 💕

[ID: a fluffy golden puppy dog lying on a tan corduroy couch, looking into the camera with his paws tucked up. end ID]

happy day after solstice love!! enjoy a longer day today than yesterday

!!!! wah thats so exciting. i cant believe ive known you like. long enough to see you do your entire degree im SO excited + proud of you and im wishing you ALL the best w your postgrad stuff!!

YES its been very clear in the art ive seen that you're putting so much effort into it and its absolutely paying off. cannot WAIT to see where you go from here! ik self doubt is a bitch but you rly are so talented i hope you can keep up your energy w it into the new year and beyond

OUGH! chilly! im glad you have a nice new jacket to keep you all toasty esp if you dont rlly like the cold. and i hope you've got as much hot chocolate as you want to warm up w when you get back inside! ive been drinking sooooo much hot chocolate recently its life changing esp when its cold out

wah thats so sweet. i absolutely understand moving out can be SO intimidating but i hope when you do end up moving you find a place that you can make yours and be just as comfy there as you are at your parents place. and in the meantime! enjoy the being home! give pretzel a BIG BIG kiss for me im saying hello back to him and givin him a good scratch

this answer does NOT surprise me at all and props on being the first person to come down firmly on one side or the other. esp w tv i totally get that <- has been rewatching supernatural unfortunately. its so much more of a time commitment and esp with shows that are just coming out its like. you want a decent payoff for your time + energy investment. like w star wars shows i was SO excited for bobf and then. well. i think i watched like two episodes and then the Thing Happened and i was like 'yeah im not finishing this' but i have heard SUCH good stuff about andor and its done coming out for this season so i just need to sit down n actually watch it.

its nice that new music is easy for you its SUCH a delight to find new music you actually like so im glad that you get to have that!!! anything specific thats been in your playlists recently?

i DID have a wonderful day yesterday i hope you have a good one today!! love youuuu

#discussion group #ghostxraven

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kz-i-co · 5 years

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Home Alone

Request: "Jinhwan is her step-brother and while her parents was out, Jinhwan kept on teasing her and touching her for his favorite parts. The Jinhwan carried her to her room and the room filled with moans in it 🙃."

Pairing: Kim Jinhwan (Jay)/ Reader

Genre: Smut

Warning: Very vEry VeRy Smutty. 19+ ONLY. I tried to make this story as realistic as possible but realistically this story should never be realistic O.O. ......Also I didn't describe their age in the story but they are of course 18 or 19 years old, Senior highschool age.

A/N: Before you all ask, I’m currently working on easy money, one reason, avpd, and a few more request lol. I have lots to do :) Please be patient.

Words: 3.2k

m.list ╫ ikon masterlist

"I can't dad I'm sorry. Mid terms are this week I have to study." You lied.

"But It's your Aunt's birthday. She hasn't seen you in a while."

"I'm sorry." You shrugged. "Christmas is a few weeks away, I have plenty of time to see her."

"Okay then I expect you and Jinhwan to be very responsible while we are gone for the weekend." His phone started ringing.

"Wait, Jinhwan isn't going?" Your eyes bulged out.

"Sorry sweetie. Hello?" He answered the phone as he left the room.

Why does he have to ruin everything? You wanted a nice weekend home alone rather then spending the weekends with your Aunt Somi's family. They were all over the place and you just wanted peace and quiet. But of course it was too good to be true.

....

"(Y/N) wants to stay home." Your father told your step mother. "She has to study." You creeped down the stairs overhearing the adults speak in the dinning room.

"Do you blame her. Last time we went to your sisters, it was pretty loud." Your step mother defended you. "Probably won't be able to study."

"I suppose. But do you trust the two teenagers in the house to behave each other while we're gone?" Your father continued. "What if they throw a party or god forbid, kill each other."

"Maybe some alone time they might get along for once." Your step mother laughed. "And knowing my son, he won't throw a party." You rolled your eyes hearing her. He really has his mother eating out the palm of his hands.

"What's so important he has to stay home?" You mumbled to yourself and went back up the stairs towards his door.

You knocked annoyed and he yelled 'go away' but you walked in anyway seeing it was unlocked. "What do you want?" He asked as he was reading some manga.

"Why are you staying home this weekend?" You asked as sweetly as possible.

"I have a hockey game."

"You aren't on the hockey team." You arched your eyebrows.

"Sure I am."

"How do you do it?" You finally got his attention. "Making your mom believe you are the perfect son. Good grades, athletic, well behaved. How will she feel once she sees the real you?" You sassed.

"A little lie won't hurt anyone." He smirked but then looked back down at his book.

"You're unbelievable." You crossed your arms.

"But you love it." He smirked still looking down at his graphic novel.

"You wish." You rolled your eyes and walked out.

"No more then two friends over for the both of you." His mother said. "We will be home Sunday morning. I expect this place to be spotless." She started towards the door. "And trust me, if you throw a party, I will know. I have resources." She gave that typical harsh 'mom' look.

"They get to stay why do I have to go?" Your little sister complained.

"Because the adult kids have important activities they have to attend." Your father spoke holding her closer. She was 12 and already at that age where she wants to be treated like an adult but you tried to tell her it's not all that great.

She pouted as your family left. "And lastly. Please get along." His mother said and Jinhwan put his arm around you sweetly. You smiled painfully as they left and once the door shut you immediately shoved his arm off of you.

"Why must you touch me?" You walked away.

"Why must you always pretend you hate me?" He replied.

"I'm not pretending." You grabbed a soda from the fridge.

"You're so cute." He said.

"Did you forget I'm older?" You glared at him.

"By 4 months, that doesn't count. Besides I'm taller." He bragged.

"You're a boy."

"That has nothing to do with it." He replied again.

"What ever. You better not be throwing a party." You marched upstairs.

"Of course not." He took out his phone texting a few of his friends.

...

A few hours later of silence, you grabbed a book and decided to read since you got some piece and quiet.

"What are you doing?" You groaned frustrated. Not even 20 minutes could pass.

"I'm reading." You answered with annoyance in your voice.

"You read? For fun?." He sat next to you.

"Yup." You didn't even look at him.

"Wow, you actually made me feel sorry for you."

"Haha very funny." You glanced at him but tried to focus once again as you reread the same paragraph for the third time.

He couldn't help but smile at your frustration. He thought it was cute.

"I'll be in the shower, if anyone happens to stop by." He walked away.

"You better not be throwing a party." You yelled after him.

"I'm not. I'm actually going to one instead." You heard him say his last words before reaching the top of the stair case.

....

As you were enjoying the sweet sound of the tv as you eyes were in a book, you heard a sudden knock on the door. You closed it, leaving a book mark in its place and got up retrieving to irritating sound.

You opened the door to see a tall guy with dark hair and a very handsome face. You didn't know any of Jinhwans friends or even cared. You figured he probably talked nonsense about you.

"Is this the right house?" He looked around the front of your house.

"You looking for Jay?"

"Yeah." He started to smirk.

"Wow, hes hooking up with the new girl, why didn't he tell me?" He walked in passed you. No one knew you were his step sister, not even his friends. You should have known, he probably didn't want to bother acting like he knew you. You were just glad you didn't get that special attention anyway.

"We are not hooking up." You quickly denied. "I'll go get him."

You ran upstairs to avoid him. You knocked on the bathroom door and heard no answer, so you decided to open it instead, seeing he was no where in sight. You went to his room and knocked once again. He opened the door pulling you off guard in nothing but a towel loosely around his waist and his hair a wet mess.

You couldn't help your eyes traveling down his toned abs down to his hip bones that lead to a place that you were happy was covered.

"Sorry um.....your tall friend is here." You closed your eyes and looked back up into his eyes. He was smirking at you with amusement from your stuttering.

"Tell him I'll be a moment." He lifted one hand off his towel showing how loose it really was.

"Right." You said and quickly left.

What the hell is his problem? Doesn't he have any dignity? Why did he make you feel so confused just there?

"He just got out of the shower so he will be a moment."

He nodded and you went to the kitchen about to decided on dinner.

....

"What are you starring at?" Jay smacked his friend in the back of the head as he noticed him eye gawking you.

"Isn't that (Y/N) from our history class? The new girl?" He asked.

"Yes. Now let's go." He pulled him to the door.

"Why is she in your house?"

"Her dad is friends with my mom." He only told half of the truth

"Ohh." He left with him. "Is she seeing anyone? She's so hot."

"You're not her type." Jay spoke.

"What? You just want her all to yourself." He pouted and Jay pushes him.

.....

"Yes the house is in one piece." You we're talking to your dad.

"What about Jinhwan?" You could barely hear your dad from your aunts house being so loud with all the screaming kids.

"He's out with his friends."

"Okay. I was so sure he would throw a party." He laughed.

"You see it too? He's a trouble maker." You smirked.

"It's fine hun. Don't stay up too late studying, you'll fry your brain."

"Got it, goodnight dad." You almost felt guilty for lying.

"Goodnight." As soon as you hung up Jay came in through the door.

"Hey." He greeted and kicked off his shoes.

He sat down next to you and helped himself to your soda that was sitting on the coffee table. "There's more in the fridge."

"I just sat down." You rolled your eyes at his response.

You tried to grab your can once again but he held it high above your head. "Really?" Then you tickled under his arm causing it to jerk down and spilling the soda all over you but mostly himself.

You couldn't help but laugh as the soda sat upon his lap.

"Was that really worth it for a can of soda?" He asked staring at you.

"Kind of." You giggled.

He arched an eyebrow and leaned forward putting the can back on the coffee table. "I just took a shower to." Then he randomly smirked pulling off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"My shirt is all sticky."

"Then go to your room and get changed." You complained.

"I can't drag soda all over the house."

"Hold on I'll get a towel." You said avoiding his shirtless torso. You quickly left and got a towel from the dryer. You handed it to him surprised that he took his soiled jeans off as well.

Your mouth hung open seeing him in nothing but boxers. You turned your back and was about to head up stairs, but he grabbed your hand pulling you back down.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "You were here first."

"That's okay. I might just go to my room." You said nervously.

"Why are you so fluttered?" He leaned closer.

"I'm not?"

"You are. Like you were earlier when I got out of the shower." He bit his lip.

"I'm just surprised is all." You avoided his eye contact.

"Why?"

"Jay please stop asking me questions." You quickly got up and headed for the stairs. He grabbed his clothes and placed them into the laundry room and followed You upstairs.

He knocked on your door and you chewed on your fingers nervously. Why was he doing this to you?

"I'm sorry, if I made you uncomfortable."

You heard him and slowly opened your door. You felt relieved that he was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt.

"Yes im very uncomfortable." You leaned on the door behind you. "You're my step brother, you can't be stripping off your clothes in front of me."

"Its not like we are blood related." He leaned forward. "And I didn't do anything on purpose."

"It's still not allowed."

"So if we weren't related by marriage then what?" He asked suddenly.

"I- whaaa- Stop asking me weird questions." You whined.

He just chuckled. He looked down at the hem of your shirt and suddenly tugged in it. "You're all sticky."

You looked down at his hand. "Jay." You warned nervously. "We can't do this?"

"Do What?" He started unbuttoning your sticky jeans.

"This." Your heart was pounding out of your chest.

"I'm just helping you clean up, from the mess I made."

"Nope. I made the mess. It's my fault." You shook your head.

"You're right, it is your fault." He grabbed your hand and placed it under his shirt feeling slight a sticky sensation from the soda. "Since I only took a shower a few hours ago."

"I'm sorry." Your voice was soft as he guided your hand farther down inside his sweats. You gasped realizing he wasn't wearing anything underneath them.

"My boxers were sticky also." He said quietly.

"What is happening?" You cried as your hand rubbed against him. Once he let go of your hand to continue pulling your shirt off. You removed your hand placing them on his shoulders. He leaned forward placing his lips on your neck causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

You closed your eyes melting against his touch. As he leaned closer you could feel his growing erection next to you, causing shivers down your spine. You moaned in frustration causing him to chuckle against your skin and eventually move down to your breast. He left sloppy kisses on the outside of your bra of your left breast as he played with the other side.

You were so weak to his touch. You wanted to stop this but you couldn't. You couldn't get yourself to push him away.

You bit your lip whining with every touch he laid on you. He wrapped his arm around unclasping your bra, sending it falling to the floor. He immediately placed his lips back, pleasuring you once again.

"Jinhwan." You moaned as he grabbed your hand once again, placing it on his now exposed erection. His lips suddenly left your breast as they finally made their way up to your lips. His kiss was soft yet desperate. He had your hand swiftly jerk him off, causing soft moans to escape his lips. He tugged on your jeans again making the fabric loose around your ankles.

He pulled away weakly as you continued to rub your hand back and fourth. "Can we move this to your room?"

You nodded and he picked you up having you wrap your legs around his waist. He opened your door and setting you softly on your bed. He quickly peck your lips before moving down sliding your underwear off. He leaned down kissing up your thigh until he reach your already moist area. His tongue swiftly explored though your folds, causing moans to escape your lips. You have never been pleasured like this before. It was a foreign feeling that you couldn't help be a slave to.

You kept gyrating your hips up against his soft lips as your voice continued to fill the silent room. He held you down properly to gain more assess but the sensation couldn't keep you still.

"Fuck." Your fingers played with the short strands of his hair.

Your breathing thickened as you felt a unbearable feeling rise through. "Jinhwan." You screamed as he replaced his tongue with his fingers. "I-I'm-" Before you can speak you felt a strong pleasuring feeling overcome you causing you to tightly shut yours eyes and your toes to curl up.

Jinhwan leaned up with a devious smile showing upon his face. He loved seeing how weak he made you. He pulled off his shirt and pulled down the rest of his sweats.

He towered over you and looked down guiding himself into you. You moaned out feeling the sudden pain. He thrusted against you slowly at first, loosening you up but once he picked up the pace, you felt the pleasure all over again. He leaned down kissing you once again giving you butterflies. He pulled away as you both were short on breath and he picked up his pace, thrusting against you roughly.

You grabbed onto your bed sheets dragging the material to unhook off your mattress, making your bed more of a mess. Jinhwan groaned and leaned up and held onto your hips painfully to guide you to him at a rapid pace. The room filled up with many different various sounds. You felt more nervousness from your loud moans, to your bed screech's, to the slapping sound of your skins hitting against each other, that you prayed the neighbors couldn't hear. But on the other hand, you didn't want him to stop. You wanted this feeling to last forever.

He forced your one leg up to change the angle so you were more comfortable on your side, as he continued to thrust against you. He looked down at your connection feeling the pleasure instantly causing you to fall back weakly. Jinhwans movements slowed down giving you mercy and next thing you knew he was pulling out, jerking himself out all over your exposed stomach.

His breathing was heavy as he came down from his high. You glanced at the time to see how late it was and you felt your bed sink behind you. At first you were going to ask him to kindly sleep in his own bed until he pulled you to his chest as soft snores were already filling the air.

You couldn't help but smile seeing how cute he was. You turned off your light falling asleep not to long after that.

You had regrets sure, but you didn't know how to stop it. How were you so weak? You woke up almost convince it was just some crazy wet dream but you saw him sound asleep next to you. You opened your mouth about to speak until you heard the front door open.

"Kids?" You heard your dads voice. "Please be alive."

"Jay." You practically slapped him awake. "They're back."

"They won't be back till Sunday." He groaned.

"They're home early." His eyes bulged out with fear.

"What the fuck we do?" He panicked.

"You need a shower? Hurry and take one." You quickly threw on shorts and a t-shirt. You looked at the mess upon your bed and quickly pulled off your sheets.

You ran out your room with your sheets and ran to the laundry room, placing them in the washing machine. As soon as you stepped out the room your father caught you off guard. "There you are. How'd your studying go?"

"Good." You smiled nervously. "Why you home so early?"

"We needed to get out of there." He laughed. "So we had Luhyun fake a sickness."

"Really dad?" You folded your arms.

"What happened to my couch?" You heard Jays mom react.

"That's my fault, sorry mom." Jay was towel drying his hair. His shower was quicker then you thought. "I accidentally spilled soda."

"Why didn't you clean it up as soon as you spilled it?"

"Sorry I forgot." He looked at you nervously.

"What did you kids do all night? I hope no parties." His mom continued to ask.

"I went out with friends and she stayed home studying." He was technically being honest.

"Okay. Clean up your mess next time." His mother pouted as she went to gather some cleaner.

You pulled Jay to the laundry room quietly. "Last night never happened."

"What happened last night?" He smirked.

"Stop that. What we did was wrong and if they ever-" He cut you off placing his lips on yours. You were almost lost in his touch once again but you snapped back to reality pushing him away. "Stop. We can't."

"Okay fine, last night never happened. It was just your wet dream." He walked away.

"Um no, yours."

"No yours." He fought back.

"Yours."

"Don't you two ever stop fighting?" His mother said scrubbing the couch.

#ikon scenarios #ikon smut #ikon imagines #ikon fanfic #ikon one shot #jinhwan scenarios #jinhwan fanfic #jinhwan smut #jinhwan imagines

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