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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

April Contest Submission #10: Green Like Flowers

Words: ca. 4,000 Setting: Modern AU Lemon: No CW: mild angst

The train whistled as it left the station. A piercing scream, cutting through the dewy darkness of early morning. Birds, startled awake from their nightly slumber, took to the sky. Fleeing like their wings were on fire, up and away from branches that were all but safe a few moments before. Their small black bodies quickly lost to a sky that had not yet been kissed by an unforgiving sun.

The engine chugged, rhythmically turning large, cold steel wheels. Pulling both itself and its posy of railcars along with it. Quickly picking up speed, outside one of the windows; a dog ran alongside the tracks. His tongue hanging outside his large muzzle, flopping with each bounding leap. He ran on a well-worn path, a frequent activity. The further the train went, the more he fell behind until Elsa could no longer see him. So too did the path fade. Giving way to leaf-covered ground and sparse trees. The click-clack of the train melted into nothing, like the ocean waves when one lives by the sea.

Elsa Settled into her seat but dared not to rest. Her mind racing fasting then the landscape outside the window. The train was still mostly empty, many seats were vacant. She glanced around, taking everything in without fear of looking creepy. The floor was carpet tiles, frayed on every edge but free of at least large debris. The seats, two on each side of the aisle, were a worn blue fabric. Each headrest was adorned with stark white doctor’s table paper. Fluorescent lightbulbs of varying shades of white and yellow had been illuminating the narrow walkways, now dimmed. Allowing the high-backed seats to cast long shadows.

A few rows back an older man sat slouched in his seat, his fedora, which had seen better days, was pulled down to cover his eyes. The ghost of a beard was painted across a jaw held tight by clenched teeth. Next to him, an older woman sat, knitting with the speed of a youth long past. She was counting to herself or perhaps singing. Her thin lips moving in unison with dancing needles. So the yarn was tugged and so too the corners of her mouth.

In another row a small child was fast asleep, curled into his’s mother’s side. The woman’s head tilted back, mouth agape. She wore what looked to be a brand new hoodie, a large sports logo plastered across the chest. It wasn’t a team Elsa recognized, the child shifted slightly, and they too wore a matching hoodie.

Elsa turned back so she was facing forward once more. She glanced out the smudged windows to see the faintest hint of light, peeking over the horizon. And she took a moment to marvel at the fact she had to travel North, then West, then South, then West again just to reach the opposite coast. All the years of human advancements and there still wasn’t a train that simply went East to West. Instead, it zig-zagged across rivers, over the plains, and through mountains.

A movement to her left caused her to turn. A man about her age sat restlessly in his seat. Large headphones completely engulfed his ears. One hand clutching a phone, the other gesturing wildly through the air - pointer finger and thumb fully extended with the remaining fingers ever so slightly curved inward. His voice was barely above a whisper, Elsa had to strain to hear the words which were choppy, loose, but forever moving forward like a rushing stream over stones.

Just then the door between cars slid open, spilling the outside in. Chains rattled, wind blew, the click-clack of the track demanded attention. And standing there, a young ember, sparking as intense eyes surveyed the nearly empty train car before settling on Elsa and finally flicking to the seat next to her. The door closed as if in agreement and the woman floated over. Two copper veins of braids framed a speckled face. She smiled and sat down without asking.

“I’m Anna,” she said, it wasn’t a comment or an introduction, it was a commanding statement. She was Anna and whoever she was, Elsa had no choice but to deal with the sudden intrusion.

“Elsa.” She replied, trying to match the other’s tone.

This earned a nod from Anna, her head tipping back, chin raised for a brief moment before landing in neutral again. Silence settled like a heavy fog. Elsa was never good at small talk. Through the defining silence, she heard the ticking of knitting needles and soft rap lyrics start again. Nothing from the mother or child, this new woman’s entrance had not been enough to wake them from slumber.

“Where are you headed?” Anna asked, keeping her voice low.

“San Francisco,” Elsa replied, trying to ignore how much the woman’s eyes stabbed right through her.

“Oh what?!?” she paused to take a breath and bring her volume back down. “I’m going there too, maybe we can be train buddies!”

And suddenly the flames that protected the young woman from the outside world parted and Elsa saw, not a commanding bitch of a woman, but an innocence - a kindness that she hadn’t seen in a person in a long time.

“Buddies,” Elsa repeated slowly as if tasting the word for the first time.

This earned another smile from Anna, who had either not noticed Elsa’s lack of enthusiasm or chose to ignore it.

“Well it’s what like, 15 days to get from here,” she pointed beyond Elsa to the series of trees whipping past the window. “Aaaall the way over to there. So I think, it would be nice to have someone to talk to, have meals with, maybe exchange playlists…”

“I mean I don’t know,” she pulled her arms in like pulling a trenchcoat closed. She dared not to let the demons out nor let any new evil in. She hated meeting new people, hated that period of time when stupid questions are asked. Hated, even more, when the friendship was temporary, formed for convenience rather than growth. Why spend all that time putting cereal in a bowl piece by price only to find out theres no milk.

Elsa was not yet old in the traditional sense, but she had lived many lifetimes. Broken enough hearts and had enough hearts be broken, both from love and friendship, to waste even more hourglass sand on the freckled book in the seat next to hers.

“No offense but I don’t really know you.”

Anna laughed, a full-bellied laugh that had her eye squeezed shut and her head tipped back against the paper covering the headrest. Elsa felt her face start to numb and fought the urge to bounce her leg. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and she turned her head to study the trees.

“We can be train buddies while we get to know each other. Like, we might as well anyway, seeing as we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other anyways.”

Elsa didn’t turn her head, “It is a long train.”

“Yes and no, the length? Sure. But there’s the cargo cars, the sleeper cars, the dining cars, the private cars, and THEN there’s the passenger cars like this one. Sooo I think I’m gucci when I say; we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“Gucci?” Elsa turned, pulled by the odd choice of word. She was met with yet another smile from her unwanted companion and she regretted turning at all.

“Yeah you know, ‘it’s gucci’ or ‘it’s all good’ same thing.” Anna shrugged but otherwise didn’t move, oblivious to Elsa’s inner turmoil and discomfort, instead, she used this as an opening. Like a racer who finally found a way to pass the leader.

“So, let’s just get all the weird basic stuff out of the way. I’m Anna like I said. I’m from Tennessee, born there, lived there, and went to school there. My favorite color is green. I don’t have any pets or siblings. My parents are divorced but they kinda get along. And I fly drones and do photos for realtors. In my spare time, I like watching movies and pretending to read.”

Behind them, the child resting against his mother stirred, his muffed words, likely exaggerated, were somehow loud enough to be heard over everything else. When his mother didn’t respond, he yawned louder till she awoke will a start. Immediately the child leapt up and took off running towards the door Anna came through. Elsa feared he would open it but he waited, bouncing on his heels till his mother, groggy with sleep and not yet aware of the world, shuffled over. Together they disappeared through the door.

“Aaaand you?” Anna asked. Elsa sighed, the reprieve caused by the commotion had ended and she found herself backed into a corner. She had to at least give some answer or she feared the girl would never leave.

“I’m Elsa, I am from the East Coast. I have a master’s degree. I enjoy the color blue.”

A few beats passed, the train clicking along the tracks. The sun was higher now, its warm beams reaching out at greedy fingers, casting golden whispers within the other girl’s braids.

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yes.”

“I told you so much more. Are you one of the people who can’t open up and I have to ask a bunch of questions to get them to talk?”

Elsa flinched, she was one of those people. But she didn’t like being called out so directly like that.

Anna smirked, catching the flinch. “I’ll make it less of an interrogation and more of an exchange, so it’s not so scary, alright?”

Elsa nodded, it was actually a good solution to this trap she was in, as much as it pained her to admit that.

“I’m moving to San Francisco or the outskirts at least. What about you?”

“More or less, the same.”

“I have a job lined up with a big real estate firm downtown, I start at the end of the month. And you?”

“At the end of the month, I will be starting my job as well.”

Anna sighed and shifted in her seat, readying a new approach like a hunter with a spear. “So why the train?”

Elsa felt her face redden and she mumbled a quick “I just felt like it.”

And in the spear went, embedded deep within. Its jagged backwards teeth holding it in place. It wasn’t a good answer. It was a very bad answer, one that said too much without saying much at all.

“Oh come on, that’s not an answer!” Anna waited a beat for Elsa to answer before pressing further. “So I’ll ask again, why the train? And this time, no mumbling, I need you to say it… out loud.”

Elsa exhaled through her nose. And opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. She was at the crossroads of telling a stranger a lie or speaking the truth into existence for the first time. Giving a name to the shadow of guilt that hung over her, maybe it would let go and take with it this spear. Maybe still the light that so gently clung, in a smooth loving caress to Anna’s skin would, if only for a moment, grant her one kiss of its warmth. And so she chose the path, and took a deep breath, and pushed forward.

“I left my husband at the altar. I packed as much as I could into a few pieces of luggage, and hopped on the first train headed west.”

For once, since their meeting, Anna was quiet and Elsa suddenly felt the need to fill the silence.

“I left him my car and anything I didn’t pack, like the dog and my piano. I quit my pointless job as an actuarial analyst via email right before I boarded the train.”

Anna exhaled loudly and blinked purposely a few times before speaking, “You.. wow. Just left everything behind huh?”

“I wanted to get out of town quickly. I couldn’t breathe.” Elsa tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“So you chose probably the slowest mode of transportation to go across the entire country, just because you ‘felt like it’?”

“I figured it would be a fun adventure and give me time to think.”

Anna laughed, “You mean to brood?”

“I didn’t say that”

“Come on Elsa, you weren’t seriously going to mope and look dramatically out the window for 2 weeks were you?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I guess not.”

“Meaning, yes Anna I was but you called me out on it and now I don’t know what to say. Right?”

Elsa made a face, she had known this woman for less than an hour and she was already so far in her head that Elsa might as well charge her rent. But saying her, what she now saw as reckless and impulsive plan, out loud was freeing.

She felt warmth on the back of her neck and turned back to the window to see the sunlight set fire to a field of corn. Brown wispy tops of long green stocks danced in waves, long endless rows bent and swayed. A lone tree in the middle of the field broke the pattern, the stalks that had come to worship at its feet paid the price for being in the shade. They were shorter and more sparse, yet the further from the tree, the more they grew. The further away from the city, the train went, the more Elsa felt like those corn stalks away from the tree.

+++

The dining car was busier, packed full of life and people. All of whom were in various states of dress. Some sporting loose-fitting sweats, wiping sleep from their eyes. Others in formal business attire, already on their third cup of coffee and 7th morning briefing. The clicking of their keyboards and monotone voices of video calls faded into the conglomerate of sounds contained in the frankly small space.

“Can I get you ladies anything this morning?” a younger woman in uniform asked, she placed two small, single-page menus in front of Elsa and Anna, who each sat on opposite sides of a small booth.

“A coffee and some toast, please.” Elsa handed the menu back, she hadn’t bothered looking, it was a simple basic order that she never struggled to find anywhere she went.

“Umm,” Anna on the other hand was scanning the menu up and down, trying to decide. “Orange juice and a coffee and a bagel with butter instead of cream cheese. Please!” the woman smiled and took her menu, continuing down the row.

It wasn’t long before the food and drinks arrived. Elsa put one sugar in her coffee and sipped it slowly. Outside the large, clean, windows of the dining car, there were vast sprawling fields. It had been only a few days since Anna became her companion and nearly that entire time, the train had seemed to be continually chugging through the same boring field. So much for seeing the country.

Anna dumped several packets of sugar and a few creams into her coffee before taking a large swig and chasing the hot liquid with orange juice. She made a face and busied herself with her bagel.

This is how their mornings went, and it was a comfortable enough routine.

+++

“So listen,” Anna said. They were back in their seats in the passenger car. “The next stop is going to be a long one, apparently there’s a delay further up the tracks and they’re holding us at this next station for a few hours.”

“Yes, I know this. I heard the announcement too.” Elsa mused

“Yeah ok but listen, they said 4 plus hours right? So I googled things around there and I found this!” she handed Elsa her phone, on it was a photo of a waterfall with text below that mentioned a hiking trail.

“I don’t hike, plus I don’t think we have time anyway.” “We wouldn’t BUT! This,” she jabbed the phone screen. “Is a 10-minute walk from the station. See it’s part of a hiking trail but the station itself is a rest stop for the trail. So we’re going.”

There was that commanding presence coming out again. If the waterfall was so close to the station itself, Anna did have a point. So Elsa agreed.

An hour or so later they were stepping off the train onto a dusty brick platform. To call this a station was being generous. There was a small building, which contained two single restrooms, and one vending machine that looked like it hadn’t been serviced in years.

A soft hand grabbed Elsa’s forearm and she found herself being pulled away from the building and towards the beaten path to the waterfall.

+++

“You know, when I left home. No one checked on me. No one text or calls. Not even from my would-be husband.”

“Not text or even a Facebook message?”

“Nope.” Elsa left out a sigh. “I’m not surprised honestly. People say I’m difficult to get to know. At the wedding, the bride’s side was nearly empty. The few people over there just sat there because the groom’s side was full and they wanted a better view.”

Anna picked up a small pebble and tossed it into the stream, it made a soft plop sound before sinking below the surface. “Why did you guys want to get married then?”

“Well,” Elsa chewed on her lower lip for a moment before answering. “When you’re in business people expect things from you. It’s incredibly outdated and sexist too. But you’re expected to have a wife or a husband, expected to have children, expected to own a home, or at least rent somewhere nice. Have a good, clean car, new tech, nice clothes. All those things.”

She paused to copy Anna’s move with the pebble but missed the water completely, the small stone disappearing somewhere in the woods.

“We met at a company gathering and didn’t hate each other. Our drinks were the same, we watched the same evening news, had the same mild interest in the local sports team. It was enough to bolster a conversation. We started dating a few weeks later.”

“What about the wedding?”

Elsa laughed or at least made a sound that was like a laugh. “We had been dating for 2 years. And when I saying dating, I mean we were each other’s plus one to events, and we had dinner together at the nice restaurants. He was up for a promotion, asked if I wanted to get married and I agreed.”

“Wait what, he didn’t romantically propose?”

“No, we were never really intimate. A kiss here and there, maybe a night over to relieve stress. But if I’m honest, we spent most of our time apart and doing our own thing.”

Anna picked up a stick and picked at the bark, her brows pulled together and the ghost of a frown on her face.

“Did you love him?” she asked quietly

Elsa didn’t answer right away, choosing instead to turn her attention to the waterfall. Finally, after a few long minutes of silence, she answered. “No. No, I didn’t love him. And I would bet everything I own that he didn’t love me either.”

This time Anna sighed and scooted closer to Elsa. “You deserve to be loved, Elsa.”

“I’m not sure I even know what love is.”

Anna stood and walked in front of her field of view. Hands on her hips. “Sure you do!”

Elsa responded by standing and making a face.

“Elsa love isn’t a contract, it’s not a business proposal. It’s work and it’s hard but it also good and warm. Love is telling someone about your day and them listening and offering advice. Love is watching a movie together and laughing at the stupid parts. Love is holding someone while they’re sick and telling them dumb jokes to make them feel better. Love is a lot of things, but what love isn’t is convenient.”

“He was very convenient…”

“But was he love?”

“No.”

Anna reached out and took Elsa’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. “It’s okay, you know? You’re going to be okay. Fresh coast, fresh start.”

“Fresh coast, fresh start?” Elsa repeated, confused.

“Yeah, you’re moving to the West Coast, fresh coast, to start anew, fresh start.”

“Fresh coast, fresh start.” Elsa said again, “You know what, I like that.”

Anna beamed and that warm feeling prickled on the back of Elsa’s neck again.

+++

“So we have the colors all picked out, purple and green. And my dress is white but it’s ever so slightly green like it will catch the light, it’s so pretty.” Anna said. They were back in the dining car, having just finished dinner. About a week had passed since the waterfall adventure and train was rolling again. This time outside the window the fields were broken by large rocks and streams. Anna had her phone out, swiping through photos of her wedding prep.

“You sound excited,” Elsa commented, taking a sip of wine.

“Oh, I am! It’s going to be a lot of fun…” Anna looked up suddenly and stared right at Elsa. “You should come!”

“You don’t have to invite me.”

“Oh please, we’re like practically sisters at this point. Like I know what brand of tampon you used and I know that you snore when you sleep.”

“That’s… that’s a weird thing to know.”

“Elsa, everyone snores, pay attention, I’m forwarding you the rsvp so you can fill out what type of food you want.”

Elsa had to smile as she pulled out her phone to answer the email. “What a strange trip this has been. One day I’m running from my own wedding, and now I’m getting invited to a stranger’s.”

“Not a stranger, a friend,” Anna added, smiling warmly.

“A friend,” Elsa repeated, genuinely returning Annan’s smile.

“You know I was just sitting in the dining car, having a coffee and playing a pointless game on my phone. When I suddenly just felt this pull to leave. And I followed it blindly till I saw you. Then it’s like everything clicked. I think we were meant to find each other.”

Elsa was quiet for some time, considering this. Anna had swooped into her field of vision and hadn’t left since. And for once she didn’t mind the company. That warm feeling was back and with it, Elsa found herself agreeing. “I think we were meant to find each other too.”

+++

In the morning they would be arriving in San Francisco and would be going their separate ways. It was likely they wouldn’t see each other again. Sure, they had exchanged numbers - but in a city of 3 million people, it was easy to lose a single soul.

She didn’t want to lose Anna though. This blaze of a woman who dared to knock down Elsa’s walls with a bulldozer. She had never really had a close friend, and as Anna, asleep on her shoulder, stirred in response to a dream - Elsa couldn’t help but wonder if this is what it felt like to be loved.

Anna shifted, reaching out her hand, searching for something. Fingers moved with a purpose, slowly curling and uncurling until their ship reached the harbor. And she wrapped them around Elsa’s hand, holding firmly, as if she was once again reading Elsa’s mind and was too, afraid to let her go.

Elsa decided then and there, that this time would be different. This time she wouldn’t close the door on someone. She gave Anna’s hand a slight squeeze, causing Anna to nestle into the old woman’s neck.

Elsa turned to watch the lights from the city fade into the darkness of the desert. Her neck was warm and this time it traveled down and warmed her whole body. She ran a thumb over Anna’s hand and smiled.

#elsanna #submission #April 2021 contest #prompt: break

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kingleedo · 2 years

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6, 11, 19, and 20 for the song asks :D

“the three songs” ask set

three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)

👁👄👁

OMI - Cheerleader [ I REMEMBER IT WAS PLAYING EVERYWHERE ON FUCKING REPEATS AND I WANTED TO SMASH EVERYTHING THAT EVER DARED TO PLAY IT I FUCKING HATE IT ITS SO DUMB WTF ]

Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together [ 🙃🙃🙃 ]

One Direction - Best Song Ever [ more like worst song ever, sorry guys--- ]

three favorite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

Apparat - Goodbye [ I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS ONE HOLY SHIT AND THE TV SERIES DARK IS SO FUCKING AMAZING ]

Liam Payne, Rita Ora - For You [ TBH 50 SHADES HAD MANY GREAT SOUNDTRACKS OKAY ]

Eugen Doga - My Sweet and Tender Beast [ not a song, a waltz that was written for the Russian movie of the same title. I JUST LOVE EUGENE DOGA'S WALTZES SO MUCH HE IS A FUCKING GENIUS ]

three songs that are your guilty pleasure

were answered, but I HAVE MORE SO

Aqua - Barbie Girl

Dan Balan - Chica Bomb

PSY - DADDY

three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

👁👄👁

Disturbed - The Sound Of Silence [ I feel like the music we listen to is sooo different, but I still like your taste ]

Mark Ronson - Uptown Funk [ THIS ONE BECAUSE I BET MY ASS YOU'RE SO COOL IRL I BET YOU'D BE DOWN FOR A KARAOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AFTER BAR CLOSES ]

ONEUS - 반박불가 [ I MEAN :) ]

#answered #ask games #Robyn 👨‍🎤#thank you for sending one in 💖💖💖

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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years

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How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

#surveys #survey

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jokerownsmysoul · 4 years

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for the f/o ask: #1, #2, #6, #7 (of course!! 😉❤️), #13, #19 ? ☺️ sorry for so many, i'd just love your thoughts on all these!

all about your f/o ask game

read more because I’m very chatty for Artie 🥰 except when I have to finish editing my pieces lmaooo

1. How would you describe their eyes (their color, how they make you feel)?

Okay first of all, I’ll never saw eyes most beautiful than his. Saying that he has the most beautiful eyes of the multiverse is an understatement.💙 Every time I look at them I wonder how in the world such marvel can exist, they are surreal. His eyes were the first thing that impressed me about him, the first thing that made me fall in love with him. Every time I look at them, I get disoriented, and at the same time it’s like I’m coming back home. I get lost as I find myself when I look at them, they are both my death and what gives me life. His eyes are green, they look like coral reef or like those areas on the bottom of the sea where the water looks greener than the surface.

Depending on the light and the weather, sometimes they seem slightly blue and it’s fun to wake up in the morning and wonder if that day they will be more blue or greener. In any case, even if the imperceptible shade of his color changes, its bright light color is always there, emeralds glowing eyes. His eyes are paintings framed by two thick, dark eyebrows, I’ve never seen eyebrows match two eyes as well as his. They’re so noticeable and the combination of the dark color of his eyebrows with the light color of his eyes makes his face otherworldly and he looks like an angel. His eyes always have a twinkle inside that makes them shine like shooting stars, and yet, they are also full of pain. I’ve never seen eyes that can make a person fall in love and happy with just one look being so full of pain and carrying inside sorrows that every man should never feel. It’s said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and looking at his eyes we immediately understand that his is a precious soul that in life has suffered more than he can bear, his eyes are an eternal plea to be loved and seen and the most beautiful gemstone I’ve ever seen in my life and I’ll ever see. Ugh I got carried away as usual 👀

2. What’s their favorite article of clothing they own?

Lmao probably I'm projecting 😂 but in the movie we see him wearing his red/chestnut sweater veeery often, so this makes me think that it's one of his favorite articles of clothing, maybe one of those which makes him feel comfortable in his own skin, you know, one of those clothes with which you feel good, for one reason or another. And he likes wearing red so 🥰 And also he'd love it because I myself love him on this sweater, so he'd always wear it to make me happy 🥰🥰 And truth be told, he’d always wear not only to make me happy, but also to tease me. It would be a silent question of being cuddled, a secret way of telling me that he needs me, because he knows that when he wears this sweater my hands are attracted to his fabric, I can't help it. 👀 So he would wear it as if it were my personal siren call to tell me he wants me to lay love on him without actually tell me out loud because is still insecure, although I would teach him that when he wants my touch and cuddles he doesn’t need to ask my permission, I am his, and I would want his touch as much as he does, he doesn't need to ask me to love him.

When he wears this sweater I can’t help but caress him more studiously, my hands were made to caress his body and this fabric makes him so cuddly. The fabric of his sweater is almost as soft as his skin, it absorbs the heat of his body and when I touch it is so heated that it feels like it's boiling like a bonfire. His sweater totally smells of him. His scent is so intense that if I lay my nose on the sweater his smell fills my nostrils, it’s like that the fabric itself was embroidered with the fragrance of his odorous skin. Arthur’s scent is gentle, soft, one of those shy but strong fragrances that linger on your skin all day long, like when you wear a perfume in the morning and once you came home at night you find out that it's still lingering on your skin after all this time. His scent is as much intense and delicate as these kind of perfumes. In the sweater there is always a faintest hint of cigarette, and this combination of smoky smell with the sweet one of his skin creates an addictive, intoxicating fragrance.

Arthur smells of kindness and smoke, and the sweater is a tangible element that carries the olfactory sign of his smell itself, it is an object through which his smell becomes bodily and palpable. I yearn to embrace him as he wears it, lay my cheek on his skin, left uncovered by the V-neckline after unbuttoning the buttons of the sweater, and kiss the taut muscle of his sternum and the point where his collar bones meet. I yearn to breath him in, my hands wandering on his body covered in red and cotton, feeling his muscles underneath the sweater stretching as my love envelops him. I love that this sweater has buttons at the ends of the sleeves, too, and he also loves it, because when the buttons are unbuttoned (and they are most of the time) allow me to kiss his wrist, and ngl he'd probably leave the button unbuttoned on purpose so as to have his wrists kissed all the time. He can be sly pff 👀 He adores it when I lift the sleeves up along his arms to uncover his skin and kiss the soft inside of his arms, rubbing the baby hairs of his arms (which drive me crazy as hell btw), and he adores even more wearing this sweater because he knows that sooner or later I will take it off to enfold him completely with kisses and caresses, usually it doesn’t take long for me to take off his sweater btw 👀

Also, his mustard hoodie and his white socks. It looks like he can’t help but wear them, and I can’t help but watch him wear them either. His mustard hoodie is so worn, but I can tell how much important it is for him. He carries it everywhere he goes, and I’m sure he went throught a lot of things wearing it, that hoodie carries in its fabric so many memories and life. And his white socks sksksk I’ve a thing for them ngl. I don’t know why, but there’s something so cute and adorable in his socked feet, I’ve never had a fetish for feet but his? Ugh girl they’re so cute. must kiss and love and squeeze 🥺 and ngl, it’d be sooo erotic taking his socks off slowly, very slowly as i’m uncovering his ankles, my gaze locked with his, eventually kissing the back of his foot, his ankles, before blowing him. there, I said it. and my sock-y wip might be about that uups 👀

6. When was the exact moment you knew you were in love with them?

I answered here, it’s too long to copy and paste it sksk

7. What do their hands feel like?

Home, protection, safety. His hands are rough, his fingers callous, but Arthur’s touch is gentle and delicate. He caresses as if you were an instrument to play and through his fingers would compose a melody on your skin. When he caresses you the callousness of his fingertips collides with the smoothly of his touch and the warmth of his skin, creating a wonderful contrast that takes your breath away and warms you inside to your soul. When he rubs his hands on your body you feel the friction of the folds on his fingers on your skin, leaving you hungry and at the same time feeding you with this sweet contradiction that are his hands. Rough, but soft. Worn, but of a young touch. When he touches you, you’d say nothing could ever touch you with the same delicacy, not even a feather. The back of his hand, like every part of his hands and body as well, is soft and always smells of him, but it’s dusted with baby, soft hairs which look like brown flower’s stems blooming on his skin, and when you place your fingers on the back these light hairs wandering on its surface tickle your fingers, a perfectly contradictory soft friction. In his fingers and especially in his fingertips there is always a hint of the stale smell of greasepaint that always remains in his hands even if he washes them very often. I yearn to pass my fingertips on the swollen veins running through the back of his hands as if they were roads to travel along his warm and odorous skin, I yearn to trace the protruding tendons from under his skin with the tips of my fingers and lick and suck his thick, boney fingers, feeling the aftertaste of smoke and the hint of the cigarette he just smoked on my tongue. There are black patches on the back of Arthur’s hands, they look like snowflakes fell on his skin in a winter to keep warm, a speckled map that shows you the exact path you need to travel to stroke his hand wholly. His wrists are breakable and fragile, they need gentle touches and soft kisses. In the center of his right wrist he has a wound, right on the most sensitive part of his wrist, where there are the small superficial veins. I yearn to kiss the most sensitive part of his wrists, to lay my lips on the pulsating spot where I can feel his heartbeat go faster because someone is touching him. His body, his subtle essence, his heart, would never be as close to mine as they are when I kiss his pulsating wrist. Whey they tremble I hold his writs in my hand, I kiss them and I trace the colored lines of his veins along his wrist and arms soothingly. I only want to be held, and his hands would always be there to hold me.

13. What’s one thing that surprised you about them after you got to know each-other?

He makes me feel comfortable. I’m veeeeeeery shy and insecure, it takes me months, years, to be 100% comfortable with a person, actually iI’ve never been so comfortable with a person to be myself, yet with him it is different. With him I know that my fears and insecurities would take a step back, I know that I wouldn’t be afraid to show myself for what I am because he would understand what I feel or, if he didn’t understand it, he would listen to me anyway, and be close to me even if the topic is bigger than us. And that was matter. I never looked at a person and thought "with you my fears would be empty", I never believed it possible. I’ve always given up living because of my security and God knows how many good things I’ve missed because of myself, I’m always so afraid of everything, of love, of touching someone, of living, but when I look at Arthur I only feel this warm feeling of protection, security, trust. I was surprised by the fact that Arthur overcomes my anxiety, he gives me the possibility of being vulnerable and brittle in front of him, I always try to hide my fragility but he’d see it. With him, I’m sure, I would feel comfortable and I could love and show myself totally and he’d look at me and at everything I show him. I wouldn’t be afraid to reveal myself in front of him 💙

19. What are they like in the kitchen (clumsy, focused, pro level)?

Focused, totally focused. Arthur is a neat man who loves to get everything right 💙 He never takes his eyes off the television when Murray starts and he’s headed to bed, and that’s enough to understand how much attention and dedication he puts into everything he does. When he cooks he is my opposite lmaooo. I am very clumsy, I always make everything dirty even if I have to do a single meal. I don’t know how I manage to do it, but e.g, when I have to do a simple sandwich I dirty thousand of pots and I mess up lmaoo, and I’m very distracted ngl. He is all the opposite: he is very attentive, dedicated, devoted to every move. When he cooks he hums soft tune with parted lips in a low voice and likes to sway with his hips, his head is elsewhere in a dreamy world made of music only, this scenario seen from the outside can be mistaken for distraction by those who don’t know him, but actually in those moments when he hums and swings to a music that only he knows he is very devoted to what he’s doing, he wouldn’t take his attention away from what he does for nothing, it’s something I adore about him. Despite being so devout, however, it is very easy to make him unfocused and bring him back to us by caressing him suddenly or giving him a kiss on his shoulder blades, embracing him from behind or even just standing next to him. He would turn his face right away, a guilty smile on his face, and loving eyes. He’s a focused person with everything he does, yet the only thing he never takes his eyes from, ever, it’s the person he loves, he’s always focused on his one and only all the time, 24/7, and it’s the only thing he could never be unfocused from 💙

#and don't be sorry girl! I love talking about him it's the only thing i can do these days 💙#thank you girl ilyyy #ask #daydreamhustler #f/o ask game

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calteahood · 5 years

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30 Questions

t like to read unless it’s for my english class, 30 questions challenge

Rules:

-tag the person who tagged you

-answer the questions

-tag 20 people

I was tagged by @5-secondsofcolor <3

1. How tall are you? 5ft

2. What color and style is your hair? i’m a natural redhead, not bright red but still red, shoulder length, and i’m actually about to get a beachy wave perm bc all the natural curl in my hair is gone :( (it’s a long story)

3. What color are your eyes? green

4. Do you wear glasses? yes, i can hardly see without them. but, i wear contacts most of the time

5. Do you wear braces? no, but i def need them :(((

6. What’s your fashion sense? i really like what’s trendy. rn i’m into baggy t-shirts a lot, the color red as well as dusty pinks, and yellows. i like funky stuff too. and cool shoes, like the vans x mickey stuff

7. Full name? it’s a secret

8. Where were you born? california

9. Where are you from and where do you live now? california and yes!

10. What school do you go to? i go to the community college in my town

11. What kind of student are you? i procrastinate a lot and don't like to read unless it’s for my english class but i do try my best to get good grades

12. Do you like school? high school had its ups and downs but senior year was great, and now college is a bit tough but i enough the freedom college gives. and the free money

13. Favorite school subjects? english and (in high school) choir

14. Favorite TV shows? ink master, big mouth, say yes to the dress, and that 70′s show

15. Favorite Movie? scott pilgrim vs the world (i know, i’m basic)

16. Favorite Books? it’s this book called “between shades of gray” & i read it in 8th grade and still love t to this day. it’s historical fiction about a lithuanian girl during the time of stalin and it's so good (and so sad)

17. Favorite pastime? listening to music, watching youtube, playing with makeup, and making crafts/DIY stuff

18. Do you have any regrets? sooo many

19. Dream job? english teacher and doing creative writing, or working for a creative writing company. backup plans are piercer and makeup artist

20. Would you ever like to be married? i for sure want to, just not right now bc i’m still young and way too busy to plan a wedding

21. Would you like to have kids? 100% yes

22. How many? if i can, 2 biologically. i also want to be able to foster and eventually adopt, bc i don’t think my body could handle pregnancy well and i dream of adopting a couple kids. giving them a great life. and a puppy, bc we’re going to be a dog family

23. Do you like shopping? for makeup, yes. for clothes, yeah but after awhile i do get a bit discouraged bc nothing ever fits me right :( for shoes, yesss

24. What countries have you visited? none yet!

25. Scariest nightmare you have ever had? i have anxiety nightmares a lot. not demons or ghosts. just anxious situations where i watch things around me crumble or people hate me :)))

26. Any enemies? i wouldn’t say enemies, bc that sounds silly, but there are a few people i don’t like

27. Do you have a significant other? yes! a year and 9 months so far <3

28. Do you get along with your family? yeah for the most part. i’m really good with my parents, my mom is my best friend. i’m good with my sister and aunts. my brothers are okay

29. Do you believe in miracles? i do

30. How are you? i’ve been better, i’ve been worse. i am super sleepy though. i fr could sleep forever

i don’t know 20 different people so i’m just going to tag a few mutuals and people i love to read from (ily all). don’t feel pressured to do this, i just did it bc i thought it was cute & fun!

@softforcal @heartachecth @youngblood199456 @caffeinatedcalum @thicc-bread @cal-puddies @lovhood @gigglyirwin @flannelpunkcalum

#tag challenge #heres a bit about be for all my followers :)

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therealprincesszeanah · 6 years

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tagged by: @spooky-ashley-christmas (<3 love these things, so thanks pal!) rules: answer 30 questions and tag people you would like to get to know better

gender: female star sign: Sagittarius height: 5′2″ favorite bands: The Oh Hellos, Mumford & Sons, Joseph favorite solo artists: Ray LaMontagne, The Tallest Man on Earth, Paul Simon

current favorite song: I’ve been listening to The Oh Hellos album “Notos” a lot recently, so really any song from that album is up there right now. Top three from the album (in no particular order) would be: On the Mountain Tall, Constellations, and New River.

last movie I watched: Secret Life of Walter Mitty maybe? I don’t watch a lot of movies these days so it’s hard to say, but I think that was it...

last tv show I watched: Zoo when I created this blog: The summer before senior year of high school I think, so like 2012? Has it really been almost six years....? y i k e s what I post: Usually aesthetic-y pictures, scriptures, quotes, thoughts on Christianity, and bookish things (esp. if it’s Harry Potter related). There’s the occasional meme and gif set of movies/t.v. shows I’m currently into as well. last thing I googled: I want to say it was Zoo. I wanted to check the content rating/whether or not it had good reviews. any other blogs: nah. do I get asks: Not unless I reblog an ask meme, and even then its hit or miss. following: 141 (but I bet the majority of those are inactive) followers: 221 (I like to think these are real people but most of them are probably porn bots because tumblr is trash) favorite colors: yellow and green (but not like the primary colors, more so the deeper shades). average hours of sleep: I’ve actually gotten into a good routine of getting about 7.5-8 hours a night ever since I started working full time. lucky number: I don’t think I have one, but I always used to say 16 for some reason when I was a kid sooo i’ll go with that. instruments: I played piano for 12 years and picked up the ukulele in high school, but I don’t play much of either any more :/ what I’m currently wearing: Auburn Tee, blue jeans, blue knit sweater and white Keds. how many blankets I sleep with: In the summer just my comforter and top sheet, but I’ll add a second blanket in the winter. dream job: I mean my dream job would probably be owning a bakery/coffee shop? Or maybe writing/designing instructions for board games, because then I’d have to play test them and that’d be a pretty sweet gig. dream trip: This is tough! I think I’d like to go to England and go on like a book-ish tour? See the places that inspired my favorite books, go to museums, etc. etc. But I’d also like to go to the PNW. do I have a crush: crushing on my husband all day erry day. <3 <3 <3 favorite animal: Dogs for sureeeeee. hair color: I think my hair is dark blonde, but my husband insists I have brown hair???? Whatever.

I’ll be tagging: @kingdomlion, @the-forest-library, annnd @becauseliteraturethatswhy

#thanks for the ask friendo #no pressure pals I tagged #personal #me

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anasianpotato · 4 years

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30 Days Writing Challenge

I just found this challenge on twitter and, well, i dont really have much things to do soooo here we go!!

DAY 1: its either im way too excited for things or idgaf at all, theres no in between. im socially awkward, especially around new people, but once you get to know me theres no way to stop me from talking! im a lil bit sarcastic and like to throw shades at people ehe and lastly, i love spilled tea but not spilling them #guilty

DAY 2: good music makeeeeeeessss me super happy, like literally it can set my mood for the day. i loveee cute animals, just looking at them makes me happy! and also mini-sized things makes me want to explode from happiness hehehe lastly, hugs and kisses

DAY 3: Bandung, June 22nd 2019. The place, the moment, the person. Everything was soooo perfect. We went to see Phum Viphurit and it was nothing less than amazing. The rough chair, the 8 hr trip, the sunset. We started to grow apart at that time, we both knew it but refused to talk about it. Joji’s Sanctuary just recently came out, he suddenly took out his earphones, plugged it to his phone, offered me the left piece, then he played the song. We were immersed in the song and lyrics and just enjoyed the sunset while sitting on the train.

DAY 4: Greece!!! UK!! Budapest!! Bandung!! Surabaya!! New York!! There are lot of places i want to visit but im in short of money soooooo yup :-)

DAY 5: They are doing pretty much good as parents. I mean they are not the best but also not the worst. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me and yeah im grateful to have them in my life even tho im not really fond of them, i guess?

DAY 6: Being single comes hand-in-hand with happiness. I mean, its literally the time and the chance for us to learn something new about ourselves. Being single means you are not tied down to do things that you dont want to do. Being single makes you realize that you are the ONLY one person that is responsible for your own happiness. Dont let other people define your happiness!!! lol this literally is something that i write for myself.

DAY 7: Cant pick one. I loveeeeeee romance comedy movies. Cheesy, i know. My favorites are the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 500 days of summer, hes just not that into you, love actually, bridget jones’ diary, music&lyrics. I also love shrek the third, idk why i just love it, watched it hundreds time. The emperor’s new groove also my fav. Ghiblis’ movies are awesome too!! Spirited away, howl’s moving castle, the wind rises, and ocean waves are so so so so goodddd!! Oh and i also love Lalaland, The King’s Speech, theory of everything, the danish girl, and the imitation game.

DAY 8: Music is soooooooooo powerful!!!! I mean it. It really is powerful, well, at least for me. You know that feeling when you just found a really good song that somehow relates to you??? Music makes you feel things. I guess its just how art works? They make you feel things? Oh and also, music is the closest thing to time machine right now. See? Music, well, art in general can transport you!!

DAY 9: Happiness is def something that you need to earn by yourself. You cant just depend your happiness on someone/something else. Happiness is different for everyone, just try to find the meaning of YOUR happiness and go for it. Well, im still struggling to find my own happiness tho but lets just keep trying, shall we?

DAY 10: I dont really have that much of friend tbh but you know what they say, quality over quantity. My best friends are literally the main reason why im still here. They mean the whole world to me.

DAY 11: There’s nothing much to say about my sibling if im being honest. My sister lives in Jkt with her husband and her kids. My brother is autistic. I love my brother to death and will do anything for him. Thats all.

DAY 12: I LOVEEEEEE TV SERIES HAHAHAHA. From the good ones, to the shitty ones. Some of my favorites are modern family, the good place, brooklyn 99, stranger things, how to get away from murder, next in fashion, the amazing world of gumball, andddd i suddenly cant remember anything else

DAY 13: I dont really read books a lot, but one of my favorites is Norwegian Wood. Its just soooooo beautifully written. You can feel the love, the pain, the warmth, you can feel everything through Haruki Mukami’s words.

DAY 14: Im not the most stylish person you will ever meet. I wear similar things everyday. Neutral colors paired with culottes and sandals or sneakers. Thats it. I actually love colors but not confident enough to wear it.

DAY 15: New York or London. I dont know, i’ve always admired busy places. Cities filled with busy people doing their own thing. No one gives a fuck about what you do. Busy places make you think no matter how shitty your day is, there will always be tomorrow.

DAY 16: we used to do everything together. we used to talk for hours about everything. we used to share our favorite songs to each other. we used to laugh at our own stupid jokes. we used to go to music gigs together. we used to watch movies together. not sure if he is the one that im missing or is it just the memories? the time that we spent together was beautiful. its kinda funny to think now that we act like a stranger to each other but yeah time changes people. he was my first everything. sometimes i wonder what would happen if we’re still together to this day, would i be happier? or would i suffer more? this may sound ridiculous, but what we had was as beautiful as lyrics in songs, melodies in musics, colors in paintings. ewwwww this is sooo cringe worthy lol okay i’ll stop.

DAY 17: im so attracted to funny guys i dont know why lol i love guys who can make me laugh. i also love a guy who knows what hes doing. Guys with knowledge also turn me on lol oh and im sooo into guys with glasses.

DAY 18: 1. My full name is Bernadetha Sari Jasmine, 2. I was born in September 21st 1998, 3. I’m a middle child, 4. I’m socially awkward, 5. I literally overthink about everything, 6. I have low self-esteem, sad i know, 7. I’m majoring in Industrial Engineering, 8. I always speak the truth, 9. I’m loyal, 10. i love listening to musics, 11. i respect art, 12. i love the magic of cooking, 13. im an introvert, 14. i get shy around people im not close with, 15. im slow witted, 16. im detail oriented, 17. i know everything i want to know, 18. i wear glasses, 19. im the-go-with-the-flow kind of person, 20. i dont know what i want to do with my life, 21. i used to date a guy for 8 years straight lol, 22. i wear braces for 10 years (and still counting), 23. i hate dramas thus i always try to avoid it, 24. im a hopeless romantic, 25. im a pessimist, 26. i love ayam geprek so much!!! 27. i love buildings, 28. i also love the sound of the road when we drive around the city, 29. i daydream a lot, 30. i live in my own fantasy.

DAY 19: just read my writing for day 16

I think thats it for now, im getting tired lol prob going to continue this at some other time sooo see you!

#challenge #writing #writingchallenge #30days #30 days challenge #music #hobby #love #relationship #life #covid #covid 19 #virus #pandemic #stay at home #stayathome #stay safe #staysafe

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cheerisuu · 5 years

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Im Back.

Boy, how time flies fast when you’re busy keeping things feel right. I mean, they’re supposed to be. I’m going to make this update as quick as i can and as precise as i can, bet i cant do both tho lmao.

It has been approximately 3 weeks since Rock Bottom (i guess it’s what you call it? Well, close.) and things has been quite, nice.

The month of July has really been a journey of what felt like forever. Today is the 12th of the month and i have come to the point where i realised that the mind is the only thing that keeps us from doing or achieveing something that we want. And this applies to a couple of situations:

I learned how to do a buck tuck.

This is one of the few things i achieved as i underwent through a “therapaeutic healing” after the incident. I surrounded myself with the few people that im friends with in our Pep Squad and fortunately my friend Dapitanon, P. also had a common friend which made our days more progressive. Just the act of cheering for each other to do one’s best really lifts everyone’s morale.

“It’s really all in the mind.”

We ARE physically capable of doing things but our mind seems to think that there’s an invisible obstacle that prevents us from pursuing what we want to achieve. I realise this as we were practicing for a back tuck, which i proudly achieved (with a spotter pa hehe). But that achievement was already some proof that if i can have control over my body, i can do all things if i just believe just enough to do it right. Heck, I think I’ll attach my tuck video somewhere on here.

1st of July.

We went to a dog cafe.

Idk what’s with me but i really like to do something special at least once a month with him and WITHOUT telling him. After all, I can’t just let myself be carried away with the emotions that lead me almost to the verge of thinking it was over, right? So despite our awkwardness and difference of treatment (slight), I still picked him up (with miraculously good timing too) with our Navara and was able to use it for the whole day before returning it back to my Granddad’s. Did i mention he got car sick? It was the cutest. (Am i weird for saying that? Doesn’t matter tho lmao) i thought of going to the dog cafe cause i was thinking, “Hey dogs can like help with your mental and emotional health right? So why the frick not.” Im surely going to post a little GIF here somewhere on how cute the doggos were. And when i tell you, dogs CAN bring the purest out of anyone. We literally were like talking to babies man and boy the dogs were HUUGE, only the pugs were like “hey hooman u can luv me unlyk diz oder bitchez” haha. But if ever things do go well for us in the future, we are DEFINITELY going to get a golden retriever man. It’s my dream!

Anyways, we also got to watch our first movie as “barkada pero gusto ang isat isa” or BPGAII, it was Toy Story 4. And bitch, dont get me started on how we were wondering if it was a child’s movie or not coz boi, we did NOT like the jump scares at ALL. But still, me being an emotional, soft potato, it still made me cry in the end. The meaning behind was great it was all about taking the risk, which was kind fitting? For him at least hekhek. Basically Woody chose to be with his hoe, Bo, for Buzz, his bro. But this aint no movie review so, *boop.

I gave him my skin care?

Ok tbh this was so random right. He realised my skin was glowing better (coz bitch, we aint lettin no sadness ruin this skin ya feel?) so he asked what was i using cos he was contemplating on his gorgeous face that he was getting ugly now. (The audacity, am i right?? Lol) so i CLEARLY (no pun intended) put into the effort of giving him some travel bottles and put in some samples of what moisturiser and micellar water i was using right, and i guess it worked out well? I also got to drive it TO him still. But the good side of this was i was able to be with my Granddad and spend some time together as his driver hihi.

LADY DRIVER.

So I’m getting good at this driving thing right, as driving from Malaybalay to Cagayan, Davao to Tagum and vice versa, Tagum to Maco and back. So i might as well be good at city driving and yall cant tell me otherwise lol,

(SIDENOTE:except for the fact i got stopped by the Yellow Ranger in Ecoland coz i was at the left lane at a traffic light and my mom told me to go straight WHICH WAS WRONG I GUESS THATS A THING RIGHT, so i was almost charged 1500 pesoses. But thank Heezuz i was with my mom and she was able to talk through the officer but sadly we had to name drop my Granddad since he was a known regional director at LTO before. Sorry Pops, i swear it’ll be the first and last time.)

Back to real time, i helped him with his errands and was really lucky with the timing coz my Dad went off for a trip and my mom was left with his car. So yup, got the chance to borrow it for half of the day and drove all the way to Maa to get a keyboard his friend is letting him use for the mean time, her name is Jen and she’s the sweetest. (No backstory will be dropped for privacy). Aight, so we drove back to their house at Magallanes but didn’t have enough time to say hi to his folks coz it was noon and they were on siyestas, right. I still regret why i didnt like fake-pee or something tho. HahahahahahahDONTJUDGE. We ate for some late lunch at SML and felt korek coz before we joke about “asa ta nag park?” And now we get to be in the situation haha. It’s funny coz just when i thought things were detoriating between us, the world just chooses to keep things tight and close and say something like “oh, u guys are having an emotional conflict and struggle about ur relationship? Here are things that only REAL couples do and i hope u enjoy em!!” Dumbass. Jokes aside, I drove him home and goodbyes are still awkward, but i was starting to understand the type of ‘low-key’ he means.

Usapang Gym.

Oh wow it’s already the fifth point. If you manage to read this far, congrats! You get nothing but to keep on reading this rollercoaster wreck lmao. I wasn’t expecting he would pay the whole month at our gym and expects me to come with him. And it came to me: i kept on thinking that i should ask for assurance but in reality, he really does mean what he said about just being “me”. Things were different but things also got better. It’s like losing some and gaining some right? Like a body excrcising, losing weight, gaining muscle, idk its a weak analogy but its close enough for yall to understand. It’s our first week today, (it’s Friday) i hope i could keep up tho haha. I guess I’ll keep progress updated? Idkidkidk. Also, i got to mention thats he is VAIN af. Idk if its a good thing or just a tragedy waiting to happen haha. I also became his coach, (oha san kapa haha), he told me he wanted help with increasing his verticle as he would help me with abdominals. So i bought sets of ankle weights only to find out the first one didnt suit him so i had to buy another set. AND IT WAS HALF THE PRICE I BOUGHT THE FIRST SET AND IT WAS BETTER. Prices will be disclosed. (250) So i like, i do my own workout right and he suddenly shows his hot-headed side of things coz he was upset he had to go home early coz there was this no-towel-no-workout policy at my gym so we had to cut our day short.

In times like these, my mind just goes to places to different situations. All the what-ifs start filling up my mind on how he could react to other situations that would cause a similar effect on what his character was showing right. But in the end, i still give kudos to myself coz im able to keep up and cope with how quick his personality changes sometimes. And sometimes, im the one with a crack on the head lmao. Well, most of the time.

TAKE AWAYS.

Fast forward to this very moment, its 11:30 in the evening and im recalling all of this on a positive note. Today was an addition to a great day we had as a rest day from gym. We watched Spiderman: Far From Home and i guess its now my current favorite and HAD to watch it twice.

Speaking of Twice, bruh i want to do a dance cover so bad of #Fancy or #YesOrYes coz i been itching and the choreo is sooo goood! Not to mention Twice was in Manila last 29th of June. *sighs in broke* but i cant say it was the best concert from them coz there were complications like Jungyeon had a sty and was wearing an eye patch the whole concert, Dahyun got sick after along with Mina who wont be attending the 2019 Twicelights Worldtour because she gets anxiety attacks and feels insecure about performing on stage suddenly. I mean i know you got no idea what im talking about but its just sad to think of the fact that even someone so adored by many people, someone who has great physical, social and emotional support, can still feel the lack of these mentally. And if you’re one of those people who feels anxious about anything? I hope you get well soon and i hope you find the true meaning of your purpose in this simulation, because you are not alone. x

In addition to almost wrapping this up, i also treated myself again something from Adidas (coz again, bitch, if no man gon treat me i gon treat myself! HAHA!) which i later on realise i now own 3 bags from there and thinking to get a fourth one....someone help me¿ i also have to mention i already treated myself about a week ago (🎶) by waxing my own axillae, grooming my own brows, a gorgeous lippie from Beauty Cottage called Elegant Impressionist shade #9 Byzantine for half its original price haha, nothing beats fishing me through a sale. Speaking of treat, my Dad gave me my first pair of Tigers man and i cant help but tell yall its the same pair that the He wanted and it totally pissed him off that i got the pair he wanted first so bad and now he doesn’t know what to do coz he’s afraid if we have the same pair we might wear it at the same time and it would be cringy and weird (now for normal people that would sound cute right, matching kicks and all. But no. Not in this lifetime.), since im just blabbering of how im spoiling myself might as well end it here folks.

Guess I’ll keep you updated on how stuff might go on from now since class is fast approaching. Tomorrow I guess I’ll be attending a send-off party for our friend she’s going to the U.S soon. Oh, did i mention the re-run for Endgame is out? 🤔

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joplayingjaks · 7 years

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85 Things

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @lonerofshalott! Thank you!! These are always really fun :)

The Last 1. Drink - Coke 2. Phone call - Mom 3. Text message - @atomicody 4. Song you listened to - 5. Time you cried - Its so often idk lolol 6. Dated somebody twice - Never have 7. Kissed somebody and regretted it - Never happened 8. Have been cheated on - Never 9. Lost someone special - Ahh yeah 10. Been depressed - Lol as if there was a specific last time I was 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - Lmao this has never and will never happen

Favorite Colors 12. To wear - Black, grey, red/maroon, pink 13. Shade of blue - Deep, dark royal blues and pastels 14. Shade of pink - No salmon or hot pink, almost any pastel pink, as long as it’s not too purpley or bubblegummy

In The Last Year Have You 15. Made new friends - Yes :) 16. Fallen out of love - No 17. Laughed until you cried - So much, yes 18. Found out somebody was talking about you - Yes, but not in a bad way tho 19. Met somebody who changed you - Absolutely yes <3 (but also i had a couple cool coworkers and professors that where kinda influential) 20. Found out who your friends are - I suppose yes lol 21. Kissed somebody on your Facebook list - Lol yes

General 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? - Almost all of them. any ones i dont im gonna be introduced to eventually through the bf 23. Do you have any pets? - SADLY NO, not yet 24. Do you want to change your name? - Nope 25. What did you do for your last birthday? - Hung out with friends 26. What time did you wake up? - Today i woke up at noon, and the only reason i managed that was becase i set an alarm lmao 27. What were you doing at midnight? - Talking to bf <3 28. Name something you can’t wait for? - My trip to michigan!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? - Last night 30. What are you listening to right now? - The fan in my brother’s room down the hall 31. Have you ever talked to somebody named Tom? - Like, several different people yeah 32. Something that is getting on your nerves - Not having the funds to pay off loans and fix my car and go on my trip 33. Most visited website - Facebook and pinterest 34. Hair color - Ashy blonde 35. Long or short hair? - Usually as short as possible tbh (i have my sides cut to a 1/4 in) but actually i think im gonna work on growing it out a little because i want an audrey hepburn pixie cut <3 36. Do you have a crush on somebody? - I have a big giant crush on @atomicody! heck i guess the jig is up, confessing my love right here right now 37. What do you like about yourself? - Im a meme with a good #aesthetic and i guess im p decent at the music thing lol 38. Piercings - Two on each earlobe and a ring in my nose 39. Blood type - Absolutely no idea lol 40. Nickname - Jak, jo, jay, jordo, jardin, bun, bug, and many more. idk why im so nicknameable lol 41. Relationship status - Taken :3 43. Zodiac - Scorpio 44. Pronouns - She/They 45. Favorite TV shows - Preacher is top tier rn, but tbh im really far behind, i havent been watching any tv much lately 46. Tattoos - I want so many, but thatll have to wait a while ;-; 47. Right or left handed - Right 48. Surgery - Only a few minor things like wisdom teeth and tonsils 49. Piercing - #38?? 50. Sport - I watch mma sometimes, but i am not about that #SportsLife 51. Vacation - Idk how im supposed to answer this? my next vaca will be my trip to michigan hopefully soon 52. Pair of trainers - I love me my black hightop converse 53. Eating - ?? okey im not eating currently? i would love to be tho, i gotta drag myself outta bed and go eat some cereal or pizza or something lmao okay actually i did go downstairs and get a bowl of cereal im gouda 54. Fave drink - Hmm.. strawberry soda, creme soda, smoothies, milkshakes and malts, milk, orange juice, and baja blast freezes 55. What you’re up to - This 56. Waiting for - Michigan trip/visiting Codyyy 57. Want - The end of bigotry and oppression and violence, for less “value” to be placed on physical wealth, for people to not have to suffer for or without basic needs, for people to use green energy because gdang its been ready for ages, to live my life contentedly and without regret, to be with the people i love, to move out and begin my life, to be able to fulfill my passions 58. Get married - Lol no 59. Career - Well, i went to school a little bit for graphic design, thats not happening it looks like. so far my employment history is McHell and a gas station and next is looking like walmart... sooo hopefully i actually have some miracle happen + hard work and i can do music 60. Hugs or kisses: Both pleassse 61. Lips or eyes - I mean, i know someone with really really pretty eyes :33 62. Shorter or taller - I dont have a preference for anything lmao (but he kinda smol lolol cute) 64. Nice arms or nice stomach - :33 I mean both, but those arms tho lol 65. Hook up or relationship - Relationship 66. Troublemaker or hesitant - ? 67. Kissed a stranger - Lol no 68. Drank hard liquor - LMao nope 69. Lost glasses/contact lenses - OMg yes, i lost my glasses a couple times and i was like, Oh god please dont make me go through this day without being able to see or judge distance please 70. Turned someone down - Few times 71. Sex on first date - NO lmao no 72. Broken someone’s heart - Probably, but hopefully not 73. Had your heart broken - Not romantically, but people who said they were my friends and family, yes 74. Been arrested - LOLL no 75. Cried when someone died - A few times, yes 76. Fallen for a friend - I mean kinda since i was friendo first with the bf lol

Do You Believe In 77. Yourself - Lol 78. Miracles - No 79. Love at first sight - No 80. Santa Claus - Nope lol 81. Kiss on the first date - Personally no, but you do you 82. Angels - Nope

Other 83. Current best friends names - Cody, kayla, ryan 84. Eye color - Blue 85. Favorite movie - TREASURE PLANET always

Tagging: @atomicody, @starsarelimitless, @captainsprklz, @ameliabedeliagoesonline, @nuttysaladtree, @ anyone who wants to, please im really terrible at tagging people because i dont want to seem weird lol

#this is nice and nifty and good timing #i just kinda rolled outta bed so this is something nice to focus on :) thank!#tag game #jakaaron is a dork #long post /

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nerdqueenkat · 7 years

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92 Question Tag

I was tagged by @highwarlockofhogsmeade thank you friendo! ^-^ Sorry it’s a lil late! FAIR WARNING THIS GOING TO BE LONG, very very long.

The Last…

1. Drink: Water :P

2. Phone call: introverts don't do phone calls.

3. Text message: My landlord I think? lol

4. Song you listened to: Lost in Paradise - Evanescence

5. Time you cried: Like a day ago? Idk lol I cry a lot!

Have you Ever…

6. Dated someone twice: Nope.

7. Been cheated on: Yup

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yup

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: Many times

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

(I recommend you get snacks and something to drink this gonna be long )

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12. Purple :D

13. Green

14. Black (shh I know it’s a shade and not a “color” *rolls eyes*)

In the Last Year Have You…

15. Made new friends: -Internet: HOLY SHIT YESSS! :D -Hell (my life): no. just no...

16. Fallen out of love: No?

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t know?

19. Met someone who changed you: hell yeah

20. Found out who your true friends are: yep…nuff said

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: lol yes

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them.

23. Do you have any pets: I has a cat Named Dexter and he ish beautiful :D Sadly He lives with my momma and is getting fat. And I had to get rid of my snake :/

24. Do you want to change your name: nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to work.

26. What time did you wake up: like almost noon?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Gettig off work :P

28. Name something you cannot wait for: oh Gosh um..? right now? the new IT movie comes out near my b-day...?

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: last night

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: that is a dangerous train of thought...(not touching that..)

31. What are you listening to right now: Blackbird by Alterbridge

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My dad...

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my life <---best answer

34. Most visited website: YouTube and Tumblr

35. Elementary: my dear Watson...

36. High school (in Mexico and US its 10th, 11th and 12th are high school): Graduated 2011.

37. College/university: money trap.

38. Hair color: Auburn? it’s very dark almost black but in the sun it has red.

39. Long or short hair: in between? it’s to my shoulder blades

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah. Other than celebs and fictional characters XD

41. What do you like about yourself: my sense of humor. I make good cookies?

42. Piercings: Not anymore but I miss them

43. Blood type: why do you want to know? ARE YOU VAMPIRES?!

44. Nickname: Kat. Katie. Katiebug. Katbug. Kaydar. etc.

45. Relationship status: Married

46. Zodiac sign: Virgo

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite tv show: Supernatural and Friends

49. Tattoos: None but I want SOOO MANY

50. Right or left hand: Right

First…

51. Surgery: Removing my wisdom teeth

52. Piercing: my tongue

53. (this question seems to be missing so I’ll take this as a breather)

54. Sport: I played softball in middleschool

55. Vacation: I’ve been to the beach 3 times, orlando once. I want to travel overseas.

56. Pair of trainers: are....are those shoes..?

57. Eating: chips

58. Drinking: Agua

59. I’m about to: procrastinate doing my deskwork...

60. Listening to: Slip to the Void by Alter Bridge

61. Waiting for: the world to change <---again perf answer XD

62. Want: to be able to eat chocolate (is allergic X.x)

63. Get married: I got married on Oct. 19th, 2011 :)

64. Career: Psychologist

Your Type…

65. Hugs or kisses: both but on the cuddly side.

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes?

67. Shorter or taller: Taller.

68. Older or younger: Older (The husband thinks being exactly to the day 2 months older means that he has seniority and i’m like PFFT!)

69. (Also is missing so another breather lol)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms are nice to have. :3

71. Sensitive or loud: what even is this question? Sensitive?

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship duh

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: eh idk

Have You Ever…

74: Kissed a stranger: No

75. Drank hard liquor: Nope

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: Several times.....

77. Turned someone down: Once? But I was so sure it was a joke....

78. Sex on first date: Hell no.

79. Broken someone’s heart: Not that i’m aware?

80. Had your heart broken: yeah

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: Yes...

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes now he’s my husband :3

Do you believe in…

84. Yourself: nope

85. Miracles: yeah.

86. Love at first sight: it could happen?

87. Santa Claus: nooo

88. Kiss on the first date: I mean. Nothing overboard

89. Angels: Yes

Other:

90. Current best friend's name: Drew and Lou

91. Eye color: Boring Brown

92. Favorite movie: Beaches and The Lion King.

My tags: @bee-wrecker @hufflepufftrax @thatonegirrl16 @somerandomflamingo @starlightcrystalgem @doodledream Y’all ain’t gotta if ya don’t want to

#answers #92 questions #about Kat

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lady-fiona-rossi · 7 years

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Practice Challenge Two: Fiona you’re fucked as hell.

AN: I know this has already been posted once. However, the ending has changed due to the sleepover being the first night.

Girls will be girls. It’s the phrase that is rarely heard. Instead, it’s opposite, boys will be boys takes its popularity. At the flower farm, the tendency is untrue. Girls will be girls is more commonly said. The defense for why one girl will cut off another’s hair while they sleep, the defense for why they rise and fall in an over dramatic flare. It’s just what girls do. Humans act like they are so much higher than animals, really we are just like them. We are savages who fight in wars for popularity, thinking the eyes of others mean you have some kind of power. This contest will probably be filled with girls like these. Hot movie stars who will act however they want because they were raised to believe they are always on the right side, or always a victim, intense athletes looking to gain approval from their parents who never could just be proud of them, girls just looking for friends who will be torn apart limb by limb, the attack done by said girls. A battle. The excuse for this horrific and animalistic attack, the phrase girls will be girls. However, I was not raised to accept this battle. Rather I’d like everyone to be warm, regardless of how unrealistic my aspirations are. Thus gifts seemed like a reasonable peace offering. Gifts of what? It stumped me for awhile, but then I realized my surroundings and decided on flower crowns. Though, this is a battle to become Queen, they are all Queen in their own right. Every woman is perfect in her own way. Despite the views of Dom, I want to remind them that they are their own Queen. Each of them just as wonderful, strong, and beautiful as a Queen.

I worked first on sending the letters, mailing each of them to the girls with basically the same phrase, I didn’t want to show favoritism. Then I collected the flowers, the warden allowing me to do so, and made each flower crown. With a soft hum, I finished up the last crown as the time to leave arrived. I didn’t have any clothes to bring so all I had to pack were these crowns. Oh and a book for Prince Evan, and some cookies for Prince Percy and some of the girls. On me, I wore my necklace. My only memory of my mother, I had forgotten her face by now, I knew it in my mind. I would try harder to remember her but the memories only caused me too much pain to think. All I needed to see my sister, however, was to look in the mirror.

The black pants I wore clung to me like the tragedy that reminded me of the ways I was betraying her just by going. It had slipped my mind till recently. The ways we would curse the Royals. Wish them death for the pain they gave us. Now I was going to cozy up to him. I wonder what my mother would think of me? She might be fine with it, knowing why I’m going, Stella on the other hand…she was much more against them. It’s not their fault. It’s their relatives. I can help, I can help them see the darkness they’re keeping themselves blind to. I miss her though, I miss the warmth of her holding me in her arms, comforting me as I grew up far too fast, trying to hold me down and keep me in my youth without restraining me. I sang a soft song as I began to pack the flowers up, the suitcase I had asked for being cold with ice packs to keep the flowers fresh. A song that my mother used to sing to me when I had a nightmare played in my head while I packed.

“When you gonna make up your mind

When you gonna love you as much as I do

When you gonna make up your mind

Cause things are gonna change so fast

All the white horses are still in bed

I tell you that I’ll always want you near

You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter melts

Flowers competing for the sun

Years go by and I’m here still waiting Withering where some snowman was

Mirror mirror where’s the crystal palace

But I only can see myself

Skating around the truth who I am

But I kn-”

“Lady Fiona it’s time to go to the send-off.” An older man said as he leaned against the doorway looking down at his watch, interrupting me from my song, luckily I was all packed by now.

“Thank you for telling me, but who might you be?” I asked as I had never seen this man before, he was a little creepy. Not too much though, he didn’t have a very good nose. It was far too large, and his eyes were oddly distanced. They were a nice shade of blue, however.

“I work as a royal chauffeur. I’ll be driving you to the airport in Paloma.” He grumbled.

“I see. Thank you very much, sir.” I replied before picking up my suitcase and rolling it with me to the car out in front of the building. I turned back for one moment looking at my childhood. This is where I became who I am today, but it is somewhere I will never go back to, no matter how much it calls to me.

The people of Panama are primarily poor sevens, eights, and a few fours. It’s a province which serves as a large agriculture hub. As we drive I see it. My home, I had never known how far away I had run when they attacked. I was only about fifteen minutes from them. What if they were there? Always waiting for me? What if I had just driven past them? No, I needed to stop thinking like this. They are gone, I am me, I am not them. I am doing this for myself.

“Did they prep you for the send-off?” The man asked, his voice sounding a little concerned.

“Uh, kind of? They said I would have to say like one or two things before heading off to the airport.” I answered the male sighed in response.

“The people, they’re not too happy about the selection they may seem a bit rude. If it ever becomes too much for you, just leave through the back. That’s where I will be.” He explained. It made sense. Why would they be happy about the royal family, the family leaving them in such a shitty condition, throwing a game show about their son finding the proper fuck buddy? Yes flirting with men like him and his cousin Prince Percy would be fun, but I can also understand the people’s frustration at this.

Upon arriving at the stage I saw what the driver had meant. The people, covered in dirt, grime, the sweat from the sevens work in the heat, dirt or sewer water from the work, the sixes seeming much cleaner, but their clothes covered in tears, the eights hiding in the alleyways, some families of eights watching in horror, fearful that the crowd would become too wild and become a stampede. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Then I stepped out of the car, making my way slowly to the stage, making direct eye contact with everyone I could. I wouldn’t let them forget me and what I was about to promise them. Once I got to the stage I stood straight as I could and let out a sigh.

“People of Panama. I understand your frustration. I am one of you, no matter how I am dressed up. I’ve lived on the streets that you live on, I’ve dug out of the same trash you have. I have seen the same shame in the eyes of those who pass us by that you do. The way they ignore us..like we’re nothing. I can’t promise you I will fix us, I don’t even know how much I will matter in this frivolous game, but I can swear to you, as long as I live I will be pushing for us to be treated as equals. We do not deserve the mistreatment we get solely dependent on the numeric ranking of our relatives.” I spoke, my words stern and precise as I listened for the response. However, the silence was the only thing left after I spoke. I took a deep breath in and out, then gave a small curtsey and turned to the back of the stage. As I walked back I began to hear the applause. I kept on my path and got back in the car.

“It was nice of you to try and help. You know though, you won’t have much influence just as a selected.” He said. I gave a soft sign.

“You’re probably right, but I still can try. I can’t stand to see their faces looking so sad.” I replied and leaned against the window drifting off into sleep. We had to stop in a different province for the night.

The drive was too long and the driver needed a break. So we went to a small hotel and got set up there for the night. The bed was low to the ground and rather soft when I laid on it like I was laying on a marshmallow. I had never slept on something so soft before. The curtains were made out of a thick fabric, they were a pale blue the color of a summer sky, one without a single cloud threatening to drown the citizens, along with the blue small sunflowers were embroidered onto it, like small drops of sunlight coexisting with the summer sky.

“Do you like sunflowers?” The male driver asked. He was staying in another room so I was a little startled to hear his voice suddenly behind me.

“Yes, I suppose. My mother loved them. She would tell me to be bright and sunny just like them.” I answered softly as I held the fabric running my fingers over the stitches making the sunflowers.

“Your mother sounds sweet, and from what I’ve seen of you, you seem to be listening to her.” He complimented. I turned to face him letting the curtains drop.

“Is there something you need?” I asked looking up at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

“No, I wa-”

“Actually what’s your name? I’m tired of not being able to properly address you.” I interrupted.

“It’s Nathaniel Volts, and I was just curious to what one of the selected was like.” He answered and finished.

“Well, now you know,” I replied and leaned against the window. There was a small lake near the hotel, I kind of wanted to go explore it but I doubt I’d be allowed.

“Sooo, Lady ginger. Why’d you enter this thing anyways? You don’t exactly seem too power crazy, or like you’re looking for a playmate. So why?” He asked. I crossed my arms not wanting to get to into it.

“You saw where I lived, I wanted to leave that place. Plus the food is probably awesome, and the prince doesn’t seem like he’d be a bore.” I replied. Nathaniel opened his mouth ready to speak, but once more I cut him off.

“Can you like, go? I’m feeling a bit tired and I’d like some sleep.” I requested though phrasing it as more of a demand, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Right, I’ll go. Sleep well.” He replied stiffly, gave me a pat on the shoulder and then left.

I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. Quickly one of those dreams began. One of those dreams that cage me, dump ice water on me, then boil me alive like a lobster.

“Stella stop please,” I begged to my sister who was standing on top of a small cardboard box.

“Mamma’s gonna be mad at us, get down.” I pleaded as I tugged at her sleeve. Mamma was out scavenging. There was a parade going on, to celebrate the birth of Princess Callie. They happened to be going through our part of town and Stella was very insistent on having her opinion heard, and I was very insistent on us not getting beheaded.

“How dare these fiends force us to live like we do, while they parade around celebrating the life of another one of them, who will live just as they do in comfort!” She yelled. I felt tears begin to fill my eyes as she was starting to get the attention she wanted. Suddenly a man walked over to us.

“Oh look a little street rat? Just because your mother was a whore doesn’t mean we have to listen to your gibberish.” He grumbled and pushed her down off of her box and onto me. She toppled on me crushing me against the ground. How dare he hurt my sister.

“Maybe you’re a whore!” I yelled, not knowing the meaning of the word at the time but wishing to use his words against him. He gripped my ankle and pulled me out from underneath me sister.

“Oh look the brat’s got a clone.” He spoke as he lifted me up by my leg.

“Let go of me, you stupid person!” I yelled throwing my arms around anywhere I could and kicking my free one. The man tightened his grip on me as I felt my leg break.

Suddenly I was in the woods. It was the last day. The world was spinning as everything became gray. The face of my mother as I listened to her last words while holding my sister’s hand.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll protect you girls. Now can you promise me something?” She asked as we nodded.

“Promise me that you will both always protect each other and that you will always have kindness, courage, and love.” She said before kissing us both on the said.

“I promise mamma.” We said in unison. Me through muffled tears. Stella was always so much stronger than me. Then she pressed a ring into my hand.

“You will be fine, Fiona. Stella and I will protect you.” She added giving me the hug I needed. Then she ran. Then I was running. A loud noise, like a firework. A gun, and my mother’s pained scream.

“Stella you need to hide. Wait for them to pass by, then run away from us. You won’t make it if you keep slowing down for me.” I spoke to her sternly. My leg still had not healed from the past year, without proper medical attention. She hid inside a bush. The last thing I remember were her eyes. What’s next what’s next. What else can this dream hit me with?

Nothing. I sit up fast, not hitting my head this time. I’m drenched in sweat and my hands shake. I stand up and walk to the bathroom, happy to feel the cold tiles on my feet.

“You betrayed me.” I hear Stella say, looking back at me in the bathroom mirror.

“I’m dead because of you, you were supposed to protect me!” She yelled as her hands stretched from inside of the mirror gripping my throat and strangling me.

My eyes open, finally actually awake. I pant and throw the thick blanket off of me, sweat covered every inch of my body. I got up and walked to the bathroom, turned on the light and looked in the mirror. I slowly raised my hands to rest on my cheeks.

“I’m me. She is not me.” I said to myself slowly before taking a deep breath in and out. It was only two am. I couldn’t go back to sleep though. Not when she was waiting to claw her way back to life through me. I snuck out creeping down the hallway and to the outside.

The grass was damp. It must have been raining when I slept. Through the darkness, I made my way to the small lake I had seen from my window. I sat down on the wet grass and watched the resting water. There were no thoughts here, nothing plagued my mind causing the constant screaming in my head to continue, no sisters to save, no one to fail, nothing to do but rest with the water. Then the rain came. I laid down on the grass and let it drench me.

Each drop of rain beating down on my body, washing me of the past that plagued me. Cleaning off each desire that harassed me. The desire to free Stella from whatever fictional hell I had fabricated for her, the desire to impress all I meet, the desire for everyone to love me. The desire to keep up this gilded facade. I had no desire, but the desire to be me. I was clean. I was ready.

My life is mine, and I am going to take it back.

After an hour or so of sitting in the rain, I decided to retire back to my room, then got in the shower. I would need an excuse for my drenched body and hair. Once I was out of the shower I set my nightgown down and used a hair blow dryer I had to dry the nightgown, for the time being, I felt fine wearing only my underclothes. I laid down on the bed and felt the blanket on each part of my skin. I wasn’t often like this as there were so many others who slept in the same room as me. But for now, I felt comfortable, I felt myself.

Once morning came we quickly began our journey I would have to wear my clothes from yesterday as people still may see me and we were supposed to be in the formal wear of the selected until we arrived. I clipped the small flower into my hair, braiding two strands and tying them back like a tiara. I believed the flower was a lily of the valley. They were small flowers that looked almost like bells, they looked delicate and weak. Though someone who knew a lot about flowers can tell you, lily of the valleys are some of the most poisonous flowers if consumed. Normally it takes a lot of a flower to make one ill, not with these small things.

I was the last to arrive at the airport. The first thing I did was walk up to Madalena and give her a hug. We had been writing back and forth during the time after being selected. She seemed like a sweet daredevil. Then I gave each of the girls a hug with the exception of Margarita who settled for a handshake. Calista was very sweet. She joked saying she couldn’t tell if it was a friendly golden retriever who had hugged her or me. She’s blind but has very good hearing. She could hear the plane before it even was in sight. Maria was like me, never had ridden a plane before and was a little scared to. We held hands and made it together.

Upon arriving at the palace I was sat down in a large room to begin what they called a makeover. First, they took a before picture of me, I was wearing a dull colored dress. It seemed a little fake. Of course, I’d look better in a dress that wasn’t so boring. I sat down on a small chair that leaned back like a bad as they began. They put a hot liquid all over me and then ripped it off with small pieces of papers, used weird things I had never seen on my nails, then cleaned my hair.

“Do you think you could cut my hair?” I asked. I had still been meaning too after my first attempt but hadn’t gotten around to it with all of the talking, packing, and flower crown making.

They lady gave a small sigh. “Are you sure about that?” She asked. Why? Would it look bad if I cut it? I had never thought it looked bad short. Does Prince Dom not like short hair? Wait, why do I care what Prince Dom thinks? Maybe I should cut it. Yeah. I opened my mouth about to speak but found myself getting cut off.

“We’ll just trim it a bit and layer it. If you end up wanting that drastic cut, just ask one of your maids later.” She answered and sat me up to begin cutting the hair with a weird kind of scissor that would apparently layer it. Maids? I would have maids? I knew Rebecca had one made named Melissa, we all called her Mel though and were friends. It seemed weird for me to have maids. I would have to make them something.

Once I was finished I spoke to a girl named Debbie, I needed to hand out some of the flower crowns while I could, so I gave her hers, then we got caught up in conversation. Quickly she became a close friend. Next, I would need to find Madelyn, we had been writing back and forth for awhile so I was thrilled to finally meet her. She was talking with a girl named Emmalyn. Berklee and a girl named Charlotte were also talking. Though as our conversation began Charlotte seemed a little wary at everyone coming into the conversation. Berklee had a chicken nugget crown, she had specifically asked for chicken nuggets so her’s was in a different bag meant to keep the nuggets warm.

After the makeovers, we met some lady who would be training us on how to becoming proper ladies. She quickly went over things like table manners, the different types of dresses per each time of the day, and a thousand other things. It made me feel dizzy and sick to think of so many new rules.

Once she freed us from her sickening speech about etiquette, I found myself wandering off to the gardens. It was already fairly dark. The sun normally didn’t set so early in Panama. I walked outside and took a deep breath welcoming in the fresh outside air. Then I began my slow walk, after walking for a bit I bumped into Princess Alina. Rumor had it she liked flowers so it didn’t surprise me too much to see her. We had a rough conversation. I apparently was much more offensive to her than I had intended to be. Something must be wrong with me. Maybe I needed more sleep.

Afterward, I stopped by my room thankful that my maids seemed to have given up on waiting for me to come. I opened my suitcase of gifts. I had already passed out a few of them once I had finished my makeover. But now I would hunt down Prince Evan, and Prince Percy. I’d have to give Princess Alina her gift later.

First I spotted Prince Percy and made my way over to him.

“Hi, Prince Percy! I’m Fiona Rossi one of the selected. I wanted to make gifts for everyone for when I got here, and most of them include flowers but I was really very stumped on what to get for you, considering that my knowledge of you is very slim and I wasn’t sure if you’d like flowers, and Prince Evan has a very clear statement of liking books. So, I decided you can’t go wrong with cookies. Unless of course, you’re allergic to cookies, in which case I will hunt for something else to properly give you as a gift.” I said and held out a box of cookies to him.

“I’m not allergic, and who doesn’t love cookies? Thanks, gorgeous.” He replied. Ooh a flirt. This could be fun.

“Sadly I can think of a few sad girls who don’t. And thanks, you don’t seem to be too bad on the eyes yourself.” I replied with a sly smirk enjoying this conversation already.

“Well, obviously. I am a Schreave, after all.” He replied. Yes obviously.

“Mmmm I wouldn’t say I find all in your family are attractive, some seem a little poorly unshaven,” I spoke thinking back to a very unfortunate picture I had seen of one of them.

“Hah! And who would that be, I wonder?” He asked.

“Not sure I can trust you enough to say. Wouldn’t want someone hating me already.” I replied and looked back up at him making eye contact.

“Hey, if it’s making fun of someone in my family, I am all here for it. Your secret is safe with me.” He assured. I pursed my lips thinking for a minute over if I should spill it or not. Why not.

“Well, Prince Evan is clearly not the most attractive in the family. Maybe he would be a little better if he fixed his facial hair though. Since after all it’s not like I memorized the flaws and benefits of all of your faces before coming.” I explained, adding in the part about memorizing faces as a small joke.

Then Prince Percy began to laugh hysterically. I started to chuckle a bit too, proud I had succeeded in my comment.“Oh, wow. This is priceless. I agree. Evan is a troll. And of course you didn’t memorize our faces, but… if you had… what would you say are the positives about me?” He asked. Oh, so he wanted his ego to be even more inflated. Yeah, I’m gonna at the very least make out with him before I go. He was pretty perfect. Hot, funny, and a flirt. What more could a girl ask for? He then made a ‘smolder face’ waiting for a compliment from me. I leaned forward pressing two of my fingers against his lips.

“Hmmm well, I can’t properly judge when you’re making such a silly face. However-” I paused to move my fingers to give his nose a light pinch. “-your nose is greatly proportioned.” I complimented trying to think of something weird to compliment him with, wouldn’t want to tell him what he wanted to hear so soon. Probably something about his sexy eyes.

“My nose is proportional? That’s all you like?” He asked. Ah, such a wounded animal.

“Well, if I was held at gunpoint and forced to say something else it’d be your eyes, nice color, not too small,” I added trying to keep him hooked.

“Mmhmm. I see how it is.” He replied. Aw, did I go too far?

“Well, maybe I’ll say more if you say some good things about me in return.” I offered up, then very overdramatically batted my eyelashes. Oh how I loved equivalent exchange.

“I’ll wait,” I added.

“You’ve got nice hair.” He replied, such a boring compliment.

“Hmm if that’s the only compliment you can think of, I’ll be so disappointed. I hear it from too many people to enjoy it. To be fair my next complement will be that you’ve got nice hair.” I said before taking a step closer to him and running one hand through it.

“It’s a good color and very thick,” I added. That was when it all went downhill. Percy leaned away from me before saying,

“Hey, don’t touch the hair.” Aw, he was defensive over his mane.

“Why not? Spend hours on it in the morning?” I teased.

“This hair is insured for millions of dollars. Magazines everywhere are willing to kill for a chance to get this hair on the cover of their magazines. I do model, you know.” Goodness, he’s such a guy.

“No, I didn’t know that. I doubt you remember the caste of every girl but I’m the seven. I don’t get magazines often.” I joked.

“Well, I do. Model, I mean. And no one touches my hair. So… a Seven you say…” He said suddenly seeming awkward and closed off

“Yeah…do you have a problem with that?” I asked my eyebrows furrowed. Oh great. Not even in one day and I’m already being treated differently because of my caste. Everything was going fine until he heard that stupid number.

“Hmm… I don’t know yet. I’ve never met anyone in a lower caste than Three.” A three? That’s so high. There are plenty of girls here who are fives and sixes. Is he just going to ignore them?

“Well, there are plenty of people in lower castes here. And you shouldn’t have a problem with it considering regardless of whatever number we’re assigned for a particular job doesn’t change the fact that we’re just people the same as you.” I replied not being too aggressive but simply stating my beliefs as fact.

“I know you’re all people. We just may be very different people.” He said. Well, we weren’t very different people not even a minute ago. Suddenly we’re very different people just for saying a number?

“If that’s a concern of yours then fine, but don’t judge me until you know me. It’s getting rather late so I think I’m going to be off to my bedroom now. Have a good night Prince Playboy.” I excused myself, not wishing to be insulted anymore.

“See you later, Ginger…maybe.”

Now in a slightly upset mood, I went to see Prince Evan. I kept the meeting short and to the point. I got a small book for Prince Evan. I had read somewhere that he liked to read. So I got him a book about the history of flowers in war. As the types of flowers and colors, all had meanings and played a big part in wars. I was hoping we could talk about it, but I found myself too annoyed to keep the conversation going for long. Thus I got a book recommendation to read something by Jane Austen, and left heading for the library. As I made my way down to the library I looked at the wall, the paper on it was so detailed. When there was a door or a bedroom I would also look at everything I could in the time it took me to go down the hall, and on my way down I saw the most infatuating person.

Prince Dom Schreave. I knew we weren’t supposed to speak with him yet so I took in all I could see of him with a giddy smile as I made my way past his room.

Thank God, he’s hot.

At the library, I was in awe at all of the books. I didn’t even know one could have so many books. As I hunted for the Jane Austen books I found myself drawn to a book about social etiquette. I should probably work harder to understand how to act and such. Threes probably need good etiquette too, so regardless of how this ends up I’ll need to know it. I picked up three books, one on etiquette in general social interactions, and one on social etiquette in eating. How could one write a whole book on the rules of eating?

On my way back to my room for the night I bumped into Madelyn. She had made me a poem, it was inspired off of a picture of my favorite flower, peonies, then about friendship, it was actually very lovely. I had some cookies to give her as well and suggested we hang out for a bit in one of our rooms and maybe watch a movie. Maddie then told me there was a sleepover going on with most of the selected and we should probably go.

I do not get drunk often. Primarily because the few times Rebecca has snuck me to a club, or given me alcohol she says I become a very different person. She found this very funny. I, on the other hand, found this very embarrassing. But with all of the stress piling up I decided to chug as much alcohol that I could get my hands on. This resulted in a very drunk me wandering about the palace late at night, which one could see, is not a good result. I found myself wandering off to Princess Alina’s room. Someone had dared Emmalyn to flirt with Princess Alina. However, Emmalyn used everyone’s pick up line but mine.

“Hey hottie, do you like watering flowers, because you’re as pretty as as flower and I’ll make you wet?” I slurred as I leaned against the doorway.

“I told emmalyn to use that one but she said it was too much. It’s too good to go to waste.” I sighed as I turned to face the hottest woman in the palace.

“It’s decent. I’ve definitely heard better.” Alina replied. No freaking way.

“Really. Tell me them then or I don’t believe it. Also, here have some whiskey it’ll make everything so much better in life.” I challenge and motioned for her to take the bottle.

“I’m good. I’m not a whiskey fan. But here’s one: My watch says you’re not wearing underwear. Oh wait! It’s an hour fast.” Alina replied certainly proving me wrong as I began to cackle.

“Ooh that one’s fun! I admit defeat. My pickup line was personalized to you though.” I replied and took a chug of alcohol.

“your cousin came to the sleepover and basically had sex with Charlotte. I couldn’t take watching that and I had pickup lines to avenge so I thought I’d stop by you, princess cutie.” I added then gave her a quick wink.

“That’s a new one.” Alina said seeming slightly surprised at the nickname.

“A new what?” I asked wondering what I had said.

“Nickname. No one’s ever called me Princess Cutie.”

“Aw well, they really should have. You’re a princess-” I paused and walked over to her sitting next to her on her bed, then lightly tapped her nose. “ “-and you are very much a cutie” I finished.

“You’re a little drunk, Lady Fiona,” Alina stated as I chuckled, my face close to hers as I had bopped her nose. God, she’s so hot. How is she not like already married or at least dating?

“A little is an understatement. You should have seen Annette though. She could hardly stand. Prince playboy dared Charlotte to kiss her and she fainted. Though even if I wasn’t drunk I’d still say you’re Princess cutie. The cutest most badass princess of them all.” I said and stretched my arms out to quantify how much of a cutie badass princess she was, but then fell back on her bed now laying on it with my legs dangling off the side and my tiptoes on the floor.

“Compared to who? Callie?” Alina asked. Of course not. Well, Callie included. But not just Callie.

“Compared to every princess on the history of ever!” I exclaimed.

“That’s quite a few princesses.”

“Yup but you’re still the best of all of them, Princess cutie!” I cheered before throwing myself onto Alina giving her a hug.

Alina laughed as she pat me on my back. “Well, thank you, Lady Fiona.”

“Aw your laugh is even so cute. Honestly, they should say fuck all and hold a selection for you. You deserve the most perfect love of your life and deserve the optimal chance to find them. I’m sure everyone would swoon at the thought of signing up for you.” I suggested as I looked up at her.

“I’m perfectly fine without a Selection.” How else is she going to find her perfect love then?

“Ah right you find Sera sexy. I wish you luck with her. She threatened to kill all of us in the sleepover because we were annoying her with our conversation. Though I can see what you mean about her appearance. Like woah. Hot.” I’m not gay though, just can respect a hot girl.

Alina raised her eyebrows before clarifying, “I’m not looking for anything from this. I find plenty of you sexy but I still would never want a Selection.”

“Why not? Wouldn’t most people scream of joy at having 35 hot people of their preferred gender coming to their home and trying to date them?” I asked.

“It’s demeaning and sexist and incredibly constricting,” Alina said. I pulled away from her as my eyebrows furrowed. I hadn’t really thought about the social activism perspectives on this thing.

“How so? I haven’t put much thought into it since I mostly just used it to get off the farm.” I asked wanting to hear her ideas. She seemed like a very smart woman.

“Well it forces heteronormativity, it’s basically a pageant. And it’s not like if Dom doesn’t find the girl he’s looking for he can’t just… cancel this and start over. He’s trying to find someone he loves with only 35 girls here. It’s not as many as you might think. People meet and date tons of people before they find “the one”. He didn’t even get to pick you all for himself. Not that that would be a good thing either.” Alina explained. I hadn’t really thought of any of this.

“Are they not allowed to have a gay selection? I don’t really think of this as a beauty pageant if I don’t like Dom or anyone I’ll just act like a monster till I’m kicked out. I suppose you’re right though. In terms of activism, I’ve mostly thought about activism in castes. Because it’s personally hurt me my whole life and hatred against members of lower castes results in death, but I suppose when I think about it sexism here is pretty bad as well. Why can’t women have sex before marriage, if they wanna fuck they should be able to fuck. And why can’t people be gay? Man we’re really fucked. I should drink more, the best solutions always come from being drunk.” I said then took another chug of my whiskey.

Alina laughed then reached for my whiskey, “Maybe that’s enough for you.“ She then took away the only thing that mattered to me at that particular instance. My alcohol.

“Nooo, Princess cutie Lina, not my only love!” I pleaded and made a lazy attempt to reach for it once more.

Alina smiled at me before saying, “I’m sure you can find another love.”

I laughed and laid back on the bed. No, this is basically my last and only chance at finding a romantic partner. “I’m very sure I won’t Princess cutie. People don’t like sevens, let alone sevens who used to be 8s. I’m going to be a three now which means I’m not going to be around a lot of people who are around my true caste. I’m sure people will avoid me like the plague. Take me to the gardens Lina? I wanna see your garden. I bet it’s amazing just like you.” I said and tried changing the topic to her gardens. The book on social etiquette had said not to get too much into personal stuff.

“I don’t really show people my garden…”

“Oh, that’s fine then. I don’t want to overstep. Sometime though if you feel like it, I’d be more than happy to see it. I’ve always loved gardening. Even before I was a 7. When I lived in the alleyways with my sister and mom I would find dandelions and plant their seeds in places where I knew we’d stay for awhile just so I could hope that one or two of them would grow. I think it started because I was always wishing for a better life for my mom, I wanted all of the wishes I could get.” I said just blabbering on. I was getting into very socially incorrect territory though.

“That’s… I’m sorry.” Alina mumbled.

“It’s okay. She loved us and was happy with us, so it wasn’t too bad. I hated myself when I was younger for awhile. I would always wish for her to have a better life but I had hated myself for not wishing she would have a long life. I don’t mind as much now. I know dandelions can’t really make wishes come true.” I said and chuckled a little sadly, I used to be so stupid.

“Maybe they do, it just takes a while. I mean… you’re here right?” Alina suggested. Yes, I suppose I am much better now. But she isn’t, she’s dead.

“Ah, that’s true. I am at a better place now. I actually joined this not to escape the farm. I say that because I’m trying to tell myself that I did this for me, but I did it because I’m decisional and I think maybe my mom and my sister are still alive. I never saw either of them die. Or maybe my dad will regret being a jackass and get his ass over to this country and try and make things right. But mostly, I want them to be alive. I was supposed to protect my twin Stella. We were running from a group of people who harm 8s trying to clean them off the streets like weeds as they say. I had broken my leg a year before and hadn’t gotten the right medical help so it hadn’t healed, so I told Stella to hide and I would lure them away from her since she would make it further without me. But I never saw her again after that. I miss them. But I guess it’s improper for me to be talking about all of this. I would normally hold my tongue. I guess I’m just not the best at holding my liquor.” I lamented. Why couldn’t I just shut my mouth?

“It’s not improper to have feelings.” Alina excused, trying to make me feel better about my failure.

“But rambling on like this to you would be. I tried reading a book on etiquette, I really don’t want people to use my caste against me, it said to refrain from talking too much about your personal life to people you hardly know. I’m not doing too well at it.”

Alina shrugged, “You’re drunk. And, hopefully, you’ll be here for a while. We have to get to know each other eventually.”

“Hopefully so. I don’t seem to have too much luck with men though, so your brother might quickly toss me aside. I had one conversation with Prince Percy and he has deemed me most hated. Granted I did yell at him because he said we might not get along after learning about my caste. It just seemed stupid that we were having a fine conversation but when that stupid number comes up suddenly I’m an alien.” I exclaimed, day one and I already had been judged for a number.

“Percy’s a shallow asshole, don’t pay attention to him.”

“Really? Do you think your brother will be the same? I want to stay here long enough to get to know you better and finally see your garden, Princess cutie.” I said then lightly bopped her nose once more.

“I never know what my brother’s thinking.”

“Men, such puzzles. Princess cutie, I never made you a flower crown. You deserve one too. You said you like Azaleas right? Or do you have a flower you prefer even more?” I asked.

“Lilies. Peruvian lilies, specifically, but ya know… All flowers are nice. Except for maybe orchids. I hate fucking orchids.”

“I will make you a flower crown with Peruvian lilies then! And those grass looking flowers you said you’ve been growing lately, they’ll do well to hold the structure of it. ah, orchids…the vomit of flowers.” Vomit was probably not the best word. They were one of those plants that looked like vines, but the part of the flower that’s supposed to be pretty just seemed unfitting on them. They were more like the preteen flowers. Awkward and lanky.

Alina laughed “They’re little bitches is what they are.”

“I had this one rose I named Lincoln, he wouldn’t grow right. I kept fighting with him. He wanted to be a vine and grow on something but I didn’t have anything for it to latch onto and it just kept flopping over.” I explained. Poor Lincoln. He ended up getting stepped on. Far too tall.

Alina raised her eyebrows and smiled, “You named a flower?”

“I name all of my flowers. They all have personalities. Lincoln was Lincoln because at first he was sturdy, dependable, and had futuristic ideas like trying to be a vine.” I explained. The name was very fitting.

Alina laughed, “That’s cute.” Like her.

“Aw, thanks like you. I will name my next flower after you. It will be Princess Lina, Cutie of Illea. It will be a Peruvian lily!” I exclaimed overjoyed at my new idea.

Alina laughed, “Well… thanks, I guess.”

“You’re very welcome Princess adorabes. Soooo, what are you going to do with that alcohol that you took from me? Because if you’re not going to drink it I will happily finish it off.” I suggested trying to get my lover back.

“I’m going to put it back where it came from. And you, Lady Fiona, you should get some sleep.” No, I’m not ready to leave just yet, I want to talk more with the best girl.

“Aw but sleep is overrated. All it does it make you lose time that I could be spending talking to pretty and hot girls like you, or gardening, or learning by reading, or dancing, or so many other things!” I argued.

“But I suppose if I must, could you walk me to my room, I’m afraid I’ll go to the wrong one, they all look so similar,” I added still wanting to have as much time with her as I could get.

Alina laughed once more, “Of course, Lady Fiona. This way.”

“Thank you, Princess hottie,” I said before rising and taking Alina’s hand. It was so soft and warm. I leaned against her a little as we walked.

Alina nodded at our hands, “You don’t uh… I mean, you can if you want but… I’m not a guy…” She mumbled. Aw such a cute stutter.

“Do you only take people’s arms when they’re male? Personally, I need the balance help.” I laughed. It’d be a shame if I could only hold her hand if she was male. It was a wonderful hand.

“I mean, it’s not… Never mind. I’ll make sure you don’t fall.” Alina replied.

“Also I’m very aware that you are not a guy, you are the sexy, cutie, hot, badass, and above all 100% glorious Princess Alina Schreave.” I flirted before looking up at her and smiling while we walked.

Again I got to hear Alina’s amazing laugh, “I guess so, something like that.”

“Yup, not even something like that. You are exactly as I have described Princess. The very best.” I clarified.

Alina rolled her eyes, “You’re wasted.”

“But people tell the truth when they’re wasted, so you know what I’m saying is 100% accurate,” I argued.

One last time I got to hear Alina’s laugh, “Well… this is it. Your room.” She said. No, I would have to leave now. Part ways with the amazing cute button.

“Are you sure? I could have sworn it was much further than this.” I asked and pouted a little. Then I turned to face her. She wasn’t wrong it said my name on the plate.

“ well, I suppose it is. Goodnight princess cutie.” I added then leaned up and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

“sleep well!” I add then closed the door to my room before she could reply.

I walked over to my desk, pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a note.

To Do:

Make Alina flower crown.

Make Alina flower.

Alina.

Fiona you’re fucked as hell.

#practice challenge 2 #pc2 #fiona rossi #the fiona you're fucked as hell is in character #its the last thing on the list

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