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#this is me venting and trying to learn from the experience

some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 7 months

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It's not like I've ever seen anyone here have any filter for what political messages they reblog, people just see someone talk about a situation in a way that makes them feel like they know who the villain is and press reblog, without question or applying any prior knowledge to their interpretation, especially if it's something that doesn't affect them personally, and especially if it goes against what they think most people believe so they can stick it to the man and feel like they know better. It's not something new and I usually don't hold it against anyone, I'm definitely guilty of it myself, but man does it feel more pervasive than ever now that every 5th post is taking a very confident stance on a war they only know from news and social media, all saying the same thing, enraged that anyone would ever claim otherwise. And it never hit so close to home for me, it was always someone else's problem for me too, someone I didn't know, but this time I got to spend a day wondering if a loved one was still alive, this time I get to be careful in public so I don't get killed for someone else's crimes.

Can we just all (myself included) think a little more, do a little more research before we decide what nuance does or does not exist? I promise you that you're not obligated to post about everything, you're not obligated to have an opinion on everything, and I promise you are going to be wrong sometimes.

#personal #no reblog on this one actually #tw war #cw war #tw death #cw death #this is me venting and trying to learn from the experience #rather than just growing bitter and blocking my mutuals for lacking critical thinking on the no critical thinking website #and I know this is the no reading comprehension website so I'd rather this didn't circulate #because I know there are people who won't hesitate to equate 'some people are grossly oversimplifying a war because they're not perfect'#with 'I think you dear reader are an idiot for not trusting authorities and I'm the real victim and war crimes are justified'#anyway I'm gonna go block some tags because watching people praise Hamas isn't going to help anyone in Palestine #tw Palestine #cw Palestine #tw Hamas #cw Hamas #tw current events #cw current events #I'm still gonna regret making this post aren't I?

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nametakensff · 9 months

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Autism rant under the cut

Unmasking autism is really fucking difficult. Telling people they can't just spring things on me the day before, asserting my boundaries and saying I don't want to go to things and I don't need an excuse to not go is literally met with the exact same 'don't be difficult/selfish/antisocial' shit I got BEFORE I was diagnosed with a literal fucking disability

It's like neurotypical society is built on misery and obligation. Like why should I have to care about making a person feel bad by pulling out of an event I agreed to under circumstances that have now changed, when they don't give a fuck about how uncomfortable I would feel by going?

I've sat through countless meals, a fucking terrible wedding this year, so many things just to make other people happy and waste my time and it's getting increasingly impossible to pretend that I give a fuck about these events

Why is it that at nearly the age of 29, a grown adult with supposedly all this autonomy and 2 confirmed developmental disorders, am I receiving even more push back?? Am I not my own person??

Sorry if I'm 'making everything about AuDHD' all the time. It is LITERALLY how my brain works!! It affects EVERYTHING I DO and it ALWAYS HAS. I have spent my ENTIRE LIFE trying to figure out why things are so hard for me and why other people don't struggle the way I do. Being 'high-functioning' just means that people feel comfortable gaslighting me about my own abilities, and expect me to continue to hurt myself for them because I can hide it. I can pretend to care, I can show up and smile and talk shit and do it fucking well, but why should I when I get home and sit and stare at a wall afterwards due to total fatigue and sensory overload??

It's like having an identity crisis. How much of me is the mask? Will everyone hate me once I stop masking? I'm not worried about my close friends or my sister one bit because I'm essentially unmasked around them already but everyone else??.....idk man. I almost wish I was less competent in social settings because it feels like people think I'm lying about my disability

#luckily my dad is trying to understand #he just said 'I just don't want you to become reclusive'#but I just need him to understand that going through a situation I know will not serve me in any way #from actual learned experience and not any kind of social anxiety deterring me #will feel much worse than being a recluse #I see the people I want when I want to see them #i adore my friends #but obligations with acquaintances and family bs??? I don't need to be there #if it helps just call me difficult to them. they all saw me growing up i'm already the oddball it's fine #anyway I just had to vent because I know half of you are on the spectrum anyway lmfao #nttalks

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feybeasts · 11 months

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I really don’t know if this is like. For anyone. But as a 33 year old autistic, I’ve spent a lot of time having to deal with a wide variety of folks in various jobs, and it’s forced me out of my shell. I dunno if you’d call ‘em masking behaviors or just… guidelines, but I thought I’d share some stuff about how I try to go about dealing with socializing with folks, especially neurotypicals, in the hopes it might help folks like me who, growing up, didn’t have a rulebook for this stuff.

It’s by no means comprehensive, but maybe some of you can use it:

Open with kindness, folks are a mystery until you get to know them, but if you’re polite and assume the best unless proven otherwise, nine times out of ten, they’ll be the same way!

If someone is rude or disrespectful or unkind off the bat, it truly is a problem on their end, not yours. I know that’s one your parents might have thrown out without explaining, but genuinely, my experience has been that people aren’t good about compartmentalization, and they tend to let their bad mood spill out.

Similarly, it’s your right to disengage if someone makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe someone your attention if they’re rude or too forward, and it’s not your obligation to correct their behavior. It’s okay to just move on!

Remember people aren’t mind readers- I know for folks like us, feelings can be Big and Present and Overwhelming, but from the outside, people might just assume you’re being sullen or grumpy. It’s helpful to explain yourself, what’s going on- don’t give ‘em your life’s story and try to lead with kindness, as above, but explaining where your head is at can help folks understand why things might be hard for you.

People REALLY like to try to fix stuff. If you tell someone who cares about you what’s going on and they try to throw a buncha stuff like “well have you tried this” or “maybe you should do this” at you, they’re generally not trying to tell you what to do like you’re wrong, they’re just not sure how to help and are doing what comes naturally- trying to fix the problem. It can help to open any venting with “hey, can I vent about this?” Since then the expectations are set.

People can only operate on the information they have, so it’s better to over-explain than not explain at all. Don’t throw out every single detail of what’s going on, just the basics, but “I’m feeling frustrated because of some unexpected news” or “Well, I’m kinda struggling with my relationship with a friend” can be enough for folks to understand things at the ground floor.

There are very few people in your life who are capable of taking on the weight of a friend’s problems on top of their own, and it takes time to learn who those people are. I know folks like us can make friends quickly and rush into trusting them implicitly, but people can sometimes take a while to show you who they are. And not every friendship is gonna be as deep as we’d like it to be. This is okay, of course, not everyone has to be best buds, but it can help a lot to take the time to wait for those people to show who they are.

Ask questions, listen to people, and know that it’s okay for there to be silence. It’s very easy to get excited about what’s stuck in your craw on a given day, but remember that from the outside, people might get worn out if every conversation is about what you’re fixated on. It’s a give and take, so try to consciously remind yourself to make sure to listen and give them room to speak too! It means a lot when you do that for people!

When you don’t know if someone is ignoring you or if they’re mad at you or what have you from a lack of information, remember that oftentimes it’s a product of ignorance, not malice. Again, you know how you feel about a situation, but they probably don’t. A conversation turning from what you were talking about, someone ceasing replying to you, not answering a question, etc is more often just unaware than they are actively being malicious.

Remember that it’s on other folks to tell you if there’s a problem between them and you, not on you to sleuth it out. If they aren’t properly communicating with you, that’s on them, not you- try not to beat yourself up if someone doesn’t talk to you about something before a molehill becomes a mountain, that’s a mistake all kinda folks make, and it’s something some people never learn.

Most of all, remember that for all the talk of social cues and neurotypical behavior, the truth is, everyone kinda… sucks at this social thing. All you really control is how you approach it, so if you do your best to come into a relationship of any kind with kindness and love for yourself and respect for others, most of the time you’ll come out ahead!

ADDENDUM: BIG one here- if you think you did something wrong, apologize! I don’t mean a big like- sobbing show of contrition, don’t grovel or write paragraphs, but if you speak over someone or say something that doesn’t land or make any little social mistake here or there (everyone does sometimes!) a simple little genuine “oh, my apologies!” Or “oop, my bad!” Not only makes them feel better, it can make you feel better too!

Hope some of these help folks!

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maxarchive · 2 months

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Fear, faith, friendship: Inside F1’s most precious relationship

[...]

When now-triple world champion Max Verstappen was first promoted to the Red Bull team mid-season in 2016, race engineer Gianpiero Lambiase was tasked with moulding an 18-year-old possessing both supreme talent and a frank demeanour with only a few days' notice.

"I had experience working with multiple drivers before Max, and that was one of the biggest helps in terms of hitting the ground running with him. I think if I would have been a newbie to my role - I won't quite say he would have eaten me alive, but I'm not sure he would have had that respect for a junior engineer."

Their relationship was an immediate success. Verstappen became the youngest race winner in F1 history, finishing first on his debut at the Spanish Grand Prix. But, generally, the first few years of Lambiase and Verstappen's partnership were spent chasing perennial frontrunners Mercedes.

"Max learned some really harsh lessons in the two or three years before 2021. His racecraft really was something that we focused on, making sure we were just picking up points when it wasn't possible to win a race. We were concentrating on building his consistency, needing to be finishing every race, maybe not putting himself in a situation where he can end up in a 50/50 accident with another driver."

[...]

Sometimes, though, tension between driver and race engineer can spill over in the most high-pressure moments.

Now in his ninth season working with Verstappen, having won the championship in each of the past three seasons, Lambiase's voice is a staple of every F1 broadcast and has become recognisable to fans all around the world.

The pair's success does not mean their communications are entirely straightforward.

"I think it is inevitable in any relationship that there are disagreements. The first port of call is acceptance of that. Secondly, you need to have faith in each other that it is for the greater good rather than there being any kind of malicious undertone. That is at the core of the relationship. As an engineer, I need to understand that ultimately Max is in the hot seat, not me. So while we are all working in a pressurised environment, the driver is at a level well beyond that. As an older citizen I would like to think I am mature enough to step back and let him vent when necessary, but to also make him understand why decisions are being made. If I was a yes man, I would have been gone long ago. We have just got that honesty in the relationship between us that we can be blunt and straight-talking when needed."

As well as coping with adrenaline themselves, race engineers must manage the pressure on their racers.

The 2021 campaign was arguably the most intense in F1's 74-year history. After an acrimonious year marked by heavy collisions between the pair on track and serial sparring between their respective team principals in the paddock, Verstappen and rival Lewis Hamilton's title fight came down to the wire at the season finale in Abu Dhabi.

"I wouldn't want to repeat 2021 in a hurry. It was incredibly competitive on and off the track [but] sometimes I think it went beyond the realms of sport. In terms of taking that pressure away from Max, I tried to stress with everybody here that we continued as normal. We treated every race as a single event rather than trying to look too far down the line at what could be."

[...]

In some cases though, the idea of starting afresh following the end of such a deep connection doesn't appeal any more.

"I honestly see Max as a younger brother. We can talk about anything and anyone at any time. We're at the point where we just felt completely relaxed and at ease with each other. Maybe I am speaking out of turn, but I don't think I would have any interest in working with another driver now. Having had the success that we have enjoyed together with Max, working with one of the greatest talents that the sport has ever seen, I don't think it would be fair on another driver, from their perspective or mine, to try and replicate what we have achieved with Max."

In Formula 1, as in all our lives, the magic of the most special relationships will always remain utterly unique.

#max verstappen #gianpiero lambiase #f1 #2024

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galedekarios · 2 months

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this is a personal vent post so please let me just get it all out without trying to come at me lol:

so many ppl saying they respect larian's decision to peace out and not deal with hasbro/wotc, but i have to be honest, i don't respect them at all.

they are leaving a game behind that is unfinished and a narrative mess.

they leave a game behind where everyone paid the same amount of money for it, yet depending on which character you prefer, you get less content.

the disparity between everyone else and their writer's pet ast*rion is insane. he has a half to a third more content depending on which character you compare him to.

they leave behind a sparse act 2, which is already so barren compared to act 1 and all it had to offer. act 3 is a narrative mess and lacks structure.

they leave a game behind where they made promises a handful of weeks before release where they ought to have known that they, in fact, will not be delivering said promises: access to the upper city, consequences for playing certain races across the acts (playing a drow is going to be different in act 1 and gives you advantages vs act 3 where it would give you understandable disadvantages), etc etc etc.

they leave behind a game where content was cut from the companions to make it seem like the origins have something to offer when that system is barely able to compare what origin playthroughs offered in dos2 and it hurts the game and the experience (like tara being cut for companion gale).

they leave behind a game where they promised to much variety and proclaimed in panels from hell how they struggled to show the width and depth of the game, but really? it's about as deep as a puddle. a lot of the choices do not matter. kill ethel? nah, she's alive and well in the city. no sister hags to be angry here. give karlach no infernal iron and never talk to her at all? doesn't matter, she'll survive until the end of act 3 and will still call you her bff. dissuade gale to use the orb? we'll make sure he'll still offer 3 more times just in case. send yenna away from camp bc you don't want her there? doesn't matter, she'll stay. and yes, i'm aware these are all small things, but they are part of a larger problem. almost nothing you do truly matters to the point of where i just skip most things in act 1 and 2 now.

they leave behind a game that they promise to still patch, but some things have been broken since early access / release to the point of where i'm like i'm sorry, but your word that you will continue to patch things means about as much to me as all the other empty promises. the dialogue about morena dekarios is still broken and it's been over half a year now. the astral sea scene has low-res body textures for months. i know from mutuals who love minthara that her romance is still broken. and i could go on and on.

and what gets me the most about this is all is that they have learned nothing at all from dos2: act 3 of that game was so bugged and all over the place that i couldn't muster up the motivation to finish it the first time i played. they neglected a character to the point of where he could have been removed from the game or made a general hireling (beast).

those issues were at least attempted to be fixed in the definitive edition.

with swen saying that there will be no new content anymore and stating that both bg3 and its characters are now property of wotc/hasbro, it seems unlikely we'll even get an attempt of a fix.

so what this boils down to to me is just another game company not delivering on their promises after overselling their product and more or less abandoning it after a year to move onto the next big thing.

i don't think i can respect that ngl.

#vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: personal #larian critical #bg3 critical

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atinystraynstay · 3 months

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Double Take - Lee Chan

Synopsis: Dino was convinced dating was just swiping on a dating app, going out for a diner, and maybe getting further than that before being ghosted. It was just the perils of dating as a young adult. There was just something different about you though.

Pairing: Non-idol!Lee Chan x fem. reader

Genre: "her first everything" girl meets the "first nothing" boy

Inspired by @aaniag - thanks for tagging me in this post ♡

First Encounters Mini Series: #1: #2: #3: #4: Wonwoo #5: Jeonghan #6: #7: #8: Dino

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: does contain descriptions of anxiety - please make sure you are taking care of your mind, body, and soul. If you ever need someone to vent to, my DMs are always a safe space 🩷

Dating in your 20s is not as glamorous as they make it seem in the movies. First dates sometimes flourished into second dates but quickly fizzled out. Or it sometimes was someone you were interested in that just turned into a one night stand.

While sure, there times that Dino wished he had a more solid connection with someone. But he was in no rush to settle down and get married.

Going to college helped Dino not only helped him find his passions in life but also found confidence in himself.

Maybe that was one positive to come out of dating apps? It made Dino feel good when he could swipe on someone and it was an instant match. He hated the moments where he would swipe on someone he found attractive, but would be stuck waiting to see if there was a mutual attractive. And sometimes, he would forget about who he swiped on because there would no ping indicating they swiped on him.

He never thought of himself as the most attractive guy. Honestly, he thought was more average than anything else.

But the moment he found himself in the bed of someone, he felt more reassured in himself. The more that people wanted him, attempted to gain his attention, he felt better about who he was as a person. I mean, college is all about self growth anyways, right? Dino's learning just happened beyond the classroom.

"Trying to find another date?" Seungkwan teased. "More like he's trying to find someone to fuck since he's getting lonely at night," Jeonghan added in.

There were times Dino regretted signing a lease with Seungkwan and Jeonghan. This was one of those times. The two of them thought fondly of their younger roommate, so they often lurked over his shoulder.

"Oh! She's cute," Seungkwan commented.

Hearing his friend, his head turned and narrowed his eyes at the culprit. He suddenly moved his phone close to his chest to gain some sort of privacy. But that was a big ask in this house especially with how close the three friends were. Jeonghan, being the menace he is, moved his hand around to move the phone away from Dino's chest which caused Dino to jump.

"Can I never have anything to myself?" he whined. "She's normally not your type, but maybe we could use a change?" "We?!" Dino gasped.

The two guys laughed before they moved away from the younger boy to go elsewhere in the apartment. Now alone, Dino did take a moment to look at your pictures closer. There were a few photos just of you. He found himself smiling at the way your eyes nearly closed when you were smiling wide. You also had a few pictures with friends at different events.

His thumb then pushed upwards on his phone screen, so he could look deeper into your profile. I have to know who she is.

The first thing he noticed was your name, 'Y/n," he murmured under his breath. It rolled off this tongue so eloquently. He also noticed that you were only 2 miles away from him.

Part of him wanted to stop and just swipe. There was always an element of mystery that came to first dates. Dino's favorite part was when he got to ask questions, got to learn about the other person. Yet, there was something urging him to keep going. After all, looking over your profile could give good talking points.

What sold the deal was your bio - "looking to experience something new 👀"

Intrigued, Dino swiped right on your account. And automatically, fire emojis skyrocketed from the bottom of the app and covered the screen. It's a match! was written across the screen as it brought up your profile with the ability to message you now available.

His fingers typed at lightning speed. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face at the presented opportunity to get to know you.

"I've never done this before. Wanna grab dinner tonight?"

You were at home, binging the reunion of Love Is Blind with your roommates. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon which of course required getting snacks from the grocery store, doing face masks, and a bottle of wine. All of your phones were placed on the table to minimize distractions

While all your roommates and you had different schedules, binging reality TV seemed to be the way you were able to come together. Everyone's eyes were watching the confrontation between two of the contestants when suddenly all eyes shifted to the coffee table once someone's phone lit up.

Specifically, your phone.

"Oh my god, guys! Y/n matched with someone on Tinder," one of your roommates called out. "And they messaged her."

And just like that, Love is Blind was forgotten about. Your third roommate reached for the Amazon Fire Stick remote to pause the Netflix show. All eyes then flickered from the coffee table and you. Never before had you been glad for a face mask to cover your face to hide your rouging cheeks, knowing that will only result in further teasing.

"Relax, you hyenas," you called out. It was as if they were holding their breaths until you read the message.

You typed in your password since your Face ID was not able to recognizing your face with the sheet mask on. The extra stop practically caused your roommates to shake with anticipation. You couldn't deny. You shared the same excitement, as you have decided this year, you were intentionally investing more in dating.

It's not like you had chosen before to not date. It was just something that settled on the back burner. You had always hoped to meet someone more organically, like at the coffee shop or on public transportation. Something out of a Hallmark movie. But that's not how reality worked. When you did meet someone, it was always overwhelmingly flirty which made you instantly retreat from the situation.

Yet, you couldn't deny the happiness you saw from your own friends and roommates when it came to their dating life. Oddly, even if it were a bad date, you wanted to feel the rush of getting ready for someone. You knew that in order to date that would require you putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. Your own saving grace was knowing your morales and not falling victim to social pressures.

Even if it meant not matching with many people because you wanted to take things slow, you would be content as you search for your perfect person.

Dino sent you a message

And maybe that was Dino.

There was no denying the smile that curled onto your lips at the name. You found the name adoring, peaking your interest. Your clicked on the message to read it.

"I've never done this before. Wanna grab dinner tonight?"

Your eyes widened which caused your roommates to lean in closer. The two right by your side let out a gasp, as the other two were practically going to pounce on you. However, you were too preoccupied with looking through his profile.

It took everything within you to maintain your composure, even if you wanted to squeal and kick your feet at the potential date. There were a few photos taken when he's been out to dinner. One in particular that caught your eye was him in a black tee shirt with a silver chain around his neck. Hello big arms! He had a softer face with a sharp jawline. Something about him seemed so friendly, making you even more willing to take the leap of faith.

"Come on, y/n," your one roommate begged. "We want to take a peak on tonight's bachelor."

You rolled your eyes before giving in and showed them his profile. One by one, your phone was passed around. Yet, after each person, there was a wide smile which indicated a sign of approval from your roommates. They knew that it took someone special for you to say yes, but it seemed like Dino had unlocked it just by sending a simple message.

"So what's the verdict, y/n? Are you extending a rose to Dino?"

What can you say? You guys really do love reality TV shows.

Without responding, your fingers went to work on the keypad of the app.

"Yeah, that sounds great! What's your favorite type of food? You can pick the restaurant as long as you meet me there at 7pm."

6:55pm

Dino had a routine when it came to first dates. Of course, he would shower first. He then would pick out an outfit that looked good but also one that was comfortable. Sometimes, after sitting for a while, he disliked the way certain jeans felt and he didn't want to be too squirmy in the chair across from his date. But he didn't want to dress too casually that might give the impression he was putting in little effort into this date.

For tonight, he opted for a pair of baggy jeans, a white t-shirt, and a tri-color cardigan. It was approaching that time of year when it might be a bit warm when the sun comes out, but gets a bit chilly still when the sun sets. Plus, he suggested going to a Mexican restaurant in between the two of you, so he knew while it might be a laid back setting, that he still looked presentable.

He had driven to the restaurant, since taking public transportation would take a bit too long especially since the restaurant was not even 20 minutes away. It was still light out too, but he knew when it was dark, he also had the opportunity to drive you home in the event you opted not to drive.

With his wallet and keys in his pockets, he approached the front entrance of the restaurant. It was a bit crowded for a Sunday night, but honestly, Dino didn't mind either way. He was admittedly excited that he was going to go out with you. Before leaving, Jeonghan and Seungkwan hyped him up and warned "she seems like a good girl, don't scare her."

There, indeed, was something different about you. Dino just couldn't put a finger on it, but that also made this date exciting. He's never had this level of interest in someone before.

As he approached, he noticed you were standing up front waiting for him. He couldn't help but smile at the gesture but also pick up his pace, not wanting you to be left waiting for long. Your thumb double-tapped your home screen, showing the time. Your noticeably let out a sigh before picking up your head. With a slight turn of your head, you made direct eye contact with him.

Dino couldn't help but notice the way your shoulders relaxed. Was she nervous? That's adorable. He wouldn't be rude and comment on it. He was just meeting you after all, and he wouldn't be so mean to embarrass you. Talk about a bad first impression.

"Hey y/n," he said as he approached you. "And you must be Dino," you smiled.

Gosh, her voice sounds angelic.

He never knew of someone who's voice matched so well to who they are as a person, but that wasn't the case with you. You were dressed so elegantly. Nothing too outlandish - just a pair of jeans and a rainbow colored sweater that looked light enough to be worn in any type of climate. You looked cute and breathtaking at the same time. A real life angel.

"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting," Dino apologized.

He reached behind you to open the front door, nodding his head for you to step in first. Your cheeks flushed quickly which caused Dino to smile brighter. "Thank you," you said before walking in. Dino let you take a few steps ahead of him before he joined in behind you. He kept a respectful distance, so you didn't feel uncomfortable but enough to indicate to any patron you two were together.

"Hi! I called earlier for dinner for two? The name is under Lee Chan."

The hostess nodded before looking down at the booklet, her finger acting as if it was guided to her name. Once she spotted his name, she grabbed the sharpie and crossed it out. She then proceeded to grab two menus before turning towards the two of you. "If you will follow me."

You glanced behind him with a wider smile this time. "You made reservations?" "Of course! I wanted to play it on the safe side."

It was such a tiny gesture but one that surely made your heart flutter. You never knew of anyone calling this particular restaurant for reservations, let alone anyone make reservations for the two of you. Knowing that Dino had been that thoughtful made you feel special. That had to be a tell-tale sign of the type of person he was. It just reassured you that this indeed was a good decision, even if it was spur of the moment.

You two were led to a booth along the wall. You were able to people watch if you desired, one of your favorite things to do. But it also offered enough privacy for the two of you to really get to know each other.

"M'lady," Dino said jokingly.

And he's funny! You giggled before accepting the menu from him. Being a bit nervous, you did look over the menu online before the date. You weren't trying to put too much weight on this date and all that it could potentially lead to. However, you still wanted things to go well.

"So? I gotta ask, is your name Dino or Chan? Or is there some secret third option?"

Dino couldn't help but laugh at your question. It was a fair question, and he knew that he would have to provide some context eventually. Lowering his menu, he wanted to be able to make eye contact with you. He didn't want to be rude!

"So, my full name is Lee Chan, but my friends call me Dino." "Dino," you said to yourself, smiling. "Why do they call you that?"

He smiled fondly at the memory of how he gained his nickname.

The menu was fully resting on the table, not only because he had made his dinner selection but because ehe was now fully invested in the conversation with you.

On the receiving end, the attention was a bit overwhelming. You were not so accustom to someone you were interested in making such direct eye contact with you. It only intensified the butterflies you felt in your tummy by his conscious choice of body language.

Yet, it wasn't something Dino just knew to be good manners. Plus, after one date when he looked all over the restaurant instead of just focusing on his date, he learned that's one way how you don't secure a second date.

"Well, believe it or not, y/n, I was a shy guy. Especially when I first was starting college? I could barely say hi without feeling nervous. But I guess as I experienced what it means to be in college, put myself out there, I started to gain more and more confidence. Eventually, my friends started to notice and said I was like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, just bursting into the room and getting everyone's attention with my loud energy."

You nodded gently as you listened to him, smiling. You wanted him to keep talking to you, about himself. It helped take some of the pressure off of yourself, but you also were genuinely interested in Dino.

"Well, it is a very fitting nickname. Cute, I like it." "Cute like me?" Dino winked.

Immediately, your cheeks turned bright red as you tried hiding behind your menu. Dino couldn't help but chuckle more which only made you want to sink further into the booth, to hide. Was it a pitiful laugh or did he find it attractive?

God, what have I gotten myself into?

The waitress was your saving grace. You didn't have to come to some lame excuse or be subject to Dino's line of questioning quite yet. The waitress also coming around to take your order allowed the blood to subside from your cheeks. You wanted to try to be this cool and mysterious, to leave a good first impression. But honestly? You felt like a fish out of water. This was a brand new experience for you, and you were beginning to think you were too over your head.

Were you even ready to date? How does one even know if they are ready or need more time?

Once your orders were placed, Dino and you handed your menus to the waitress before she left you two alone. Here we go.

"So, y/n, tell me about yourself," Dino asked before taking a sip out of his water.

Okay! An easy question! Perfect.

You sat up a bit straighter in the booth, becoming a bit self conscious of your posture. At least from everything you've heard and seen about dates, even the tiniest things can make or break the date.

You told Dino about how you recently graduated college in the winter. Recently, you took the leap to move the city as your job was switching from remote to a hybrid model. You also needed the change of scenery, which has helped you want to put more roots down in the city.

Dino was impressed with your sheer perseverance. It's never easy to say goodbye to what you now and venture into the unknown, but you proved it was possible.

"Wow, that's really incredible. Good for you, y/n. I moved here with two of my best friends, so I cannot not imagine just making such a big move. Do you live alone?" "Oh no, I have like 5 roommates in our three floor apartment. It really helps." "So like a little family?" "Definitely feels like that sometimes," you laughed.

Truly, you held your roommates close to your heart. Not only did things work out for a good living situation, but they were the first friends you made in the city. They helped you through the homesickness you felt by letting you openly talk about life back home, or push for you to cook some of your favorite meals for them to try.

They also were big supporters in your venturing into dating. They offered many tips into how to date safely and allowed you to ask questions without judgement. They also were clearly very excited you took a chance of Dino rather than running in the opposite direction.

"So is that why you're on the dating apps? If you don't mind me asking, do you find yourself ready to date in a new palce?"

Well, he was half-right.

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to finally open myself up in that way. Moving and getting used to my surroundings really took a large chunk of my time." "No, that's completely understand. I've come to learn you need to be satisfied with yourself and other aspects of your life before being vulnerable with someone else because someone can really shake things up." "Well, for better and for worse."

He smiled at your optimism before nodding in agreement.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, when was your last relationship? It sounds like you have some past experience."

Dino couldn't help but chuckle. It wasn't really at the question himself, but the experiences he has had with dating were a bit comical. You frowned a bit, worrying that you asked the same question. He quickly stopped though to offer a gentle smile.

"Sorry, it's not you. Some memories of past dates came flooding in," he explained.

Well, that's more than I have, so you couldn't wait to hear them. Maybe they were just as funny as some are on the sitcoms you liked to rewatch?

Yet, you couldn't help but wonder if your very limited experience would be a deal breaker.

"What about you though? If you don't mind me asking," Dino said, restating the exact words you said to him.

It was meant to be comforting, but it made you all the more nervous. I guess it was the moment of truth.

"If we're being honest, I haven't been in a serious relationship before."

As you spoke, your tone was softer than from how you had previously carried it throughout the conversation. Dino couldn't help but frown and feel his heart chip a bit. Going on dates and then dating someone was always exciting, so he felt empathetic that you hadn't quite experienced that type of emotions yet. And he also felt sad that people had done you wrong.

"People suck," he murmured. "I'm sorry that you've been out with people who didn't take the time to realize how lucky they were for meeting you."

Your eyes widened at his words. You opened your mouth to clarify but you were so thrown off by his words. Luck? He thought it was a good thing meeting me? A complete stranger? You bit the inside of your cheek to try to rid of the creeping blush on your cheeks. This guy was too sweet to you.

"I mean, I felt like I was lucky when I found out you swiped on me," he confessed.

Now it was Dino's turn to blush. Your eyes widened but you couldn't help but smile wider. It was endearing to see him get a bit shy, almost like he was revealing the past version of himself. You were truly the lucky one that someone had just wanted to spend their Sunday evening with you.

"Trust me, I felt the same way. Even more so when you asked me. It was an easy yes."

Dino's ego came soaring back a bit. He knew the hardship of dating in college and trying to form authentic relationships. What he found himself wanting to do now was give you the best that he could offer to you.

"So is that what you meant in your bio when you put that you are looking for something new?"

It was as if in that moment you could hear glass shattering. Reality had come back into full swinging, shattering any sense of hope you had. There was no fighting the truth because it always finds a way to reveal itself. God, I just want to be eaten by the floor.

"Actually, yes and no?"

You sounded unsure of yourself. Yet, not wanting to jump to any conclusions, Dino kept a smile curled onto his lips. The way he sat was relaxed yet he was leaning in slightly, showing you that he was ready to listen to you. It was a silent way of encouraging you to speak, if you wanted to that is. Honestly, Dino just appreciated that he was with someone who seemed genuine rather than someone looking for a free meal or just to sneak off to the bedroom afterwards.

"So yes, this," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "is new to me. I've never gone on a date with a guy I matched from Tinder."

As if Dino's ego could grow anymore. You took a chance on him? You decided to try something new, to experience something different from your day-to-day all because you saw his profile? And that himself decided to take a risk and message you? Damn, he just won the damn lottery.

"But dating in general is new for me."

Woah, pause. You've never dated someone before? His eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly.

All you could do was sit there as began to panic. Oh no. Everything around you felt like it was coming tumbling down. And to make matters worse, the waitress showed up with your dinner plates. She set them down in front of the two of you respectful. The awkward tension literally being cut by the sound of sizzling meats from Dino's fajitas and the steam rising into the air.

"Let me know if you two need anything else!"

I need you to help me get out of this nightmare.

"Sorry," Dino said, clearing his throat. God, he felt awful. He could actually see the way your heart shattered at his reaction. And the thing was that he didn't even think it was a bad thing. He was just surprised because he was under the impression that everyone his age just dated around and that it was awful.

Time to do some damage control.

"I'm just surprised. I know it can't be because guys weren't throwing themselves at you. I mean, you are absolutely breathtaking," he vocalized. "But you really never have been on a first date? Ever?" "Never ever," you said, laughing nervously.

Now he felt the need just to get to know you, but also be protective of you. You truly were an angel in every sense to him.

The remainder of the date was smooth. It was as if disclosing your little secret helped you feel more relaxed. It also helped that Dino didn't come from a place of judgement. You did end up asking him what all he had experienced, and he admitted that it was quite a bit more.

But it seems like the thing you two were searching for was an authentic love connection. It was something Dino has gotten close to experiencing, but only scratched the surface of discovering.

Dino was the absolute gentleman during the date. He made sure you had enough water, that you were enjoying your meal, and that he even paid. That was something he wouldn't let you dispute. You weren't expecting it either, which also took Dino by surprised. He figured it was just first date etiquette that the man pays. Yet, you've heard too many horror stories from your roommates and TikToks were the guy doesn't even over to pay his half.

He even offered to drive you home. You were hesitant, for which Dino than at least offered to order you an Uber back to your apartment. But feeling guilty of him spending more money, you agreed to a ride back to your apartment. He allowed you to put in your address into the GPS before you relaxed in the passenger seat.

Never before did Dino think there was something special about a person riding passenger seat. Now, he wanted you always to be by his side in this sense. He loved glancing over whenever he rolled up to the stop sign or stopped at a red light that he could see you.

There indeed was something different about you, and Dino felt it. You were unlike any other woman he's been with as you seemed to want to invest in someone, to create something unique. You made him feel as though all those trials and tribulations of dating were all worth it if it meant it led all to you this whole time.

Coming up to your apartment, Dino parked the car. You raised an eyebrow as you watched him get out. It all clicked though when he walked around to open the passenger side door.

"You really are a gentleman, huh?" You said teasingly. "Hey, I'm just making sure you get to experience everything you've missed out on."

You smiled brightly at him before gently getting out of the passenger seat. And this time, you didn't hide your blushing cheeks. Dino loved knowing that he could elicit that type of reaction out of you, and he wanted to do it more often. Hopefully he's done enough to get you to consider a second date.

Once he made sure you were on the sidewalk and away from the door, he closed it. Slowly, he began walking you to the front door of your row house apartment. It was as if he didn't want the night to end. Neither did you.

"So," he began. "How was your very first date?" "It was everything I could have dreamed of and then some. Thank you for your kindness, Dino." "Anything for you, angel,' he confessed in a hushed tone.

Angel. I could get used to that.

Sooner than you two would like, you arrived at the steps of your apartment. Turning towards each other, you seemed like a lost for words. Especially you. What do you say to a guy that seems too good to be real? While you were hopeful he would want a second date, you wanted to be realistic. You couldn't fight the thoughts of your anxiety creeping in - what if he was only kind because he felt bad for you?

"I had a great time tonight, y/n," Dino began.

You were more than happy to let him take the lead on any sort of closing statement. Your racing heart and mind just was anticipating a 'but' to slip in.

"I don't want you to feel pressured to say yes to a second date. I know that there are a whirlwind of emotions that comes with any first date, let alone your very first one. All I'm saying is that I hope you consider seeing me again?"

The man in front of you was not the confident man you just had dinner with. He was biting his lip gently, his hands were in his pockets as he tried his damn best to keep eye contact with you. But, you could tell that he was anticipating a rejection.

Oh, how the tables have turned. Gently, you took a step towards Dino. His eyes widened slightly but he couldn't fight the smile on his face. Leaning up gently, you pressed your lips to his cheek lingeringly.

"And miss out on experiencing a second date? No way."

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this-is-exorsexism · 4 months

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welcome to this is exorsexism.

this is an account to highlight exorsexism, so that more people learn to recognise it when it's happening and we can fight it better.

what happens here is that i will post examples of exorsexism here as i encounter it, as well as submitted examples. this can be stories of exorsexism of offline or online exorsexism. if not immediately clear, i may provide an explanation of how something is exorsexist.

this is also a safe space for nonbinary people to vent or rant about exorsexism.

you can submit exorsexism you encountered to me via submissions or asks. if you send a screenshot of someone being exorsexist, please make sure to crop or censor any identifying information such as their username and profile picture. this account is for educational purposes and for nonbinary people to vent their experiences, not to send harassment to anyone.

exorsexism from within nonbinary and wider transgender communities is also welcome as that too needs awareness.

not sure if something you want to submit counts as exorsexism? submit it anyway and we can talk about it. and if you think your exorsexism experience isn't "bad enough" to be submitted: yes, it is.

credit where credit is due: this account is very much inspired by @exorsexistbullshit who sadly hasn't been active in going on 5 years, as well as casualableism on instagram.

submission rules:

since this is a blog to highlight a form of bigotry and oppression that also often intersects with other forms of oppression, a "no bigotry" rule doesn't make sense here. however, being bigoted towards bigots is not welcome here. this includes calling bigots or bigotry -phobic (i.e. "homophobia"), narcissistic, delusional, lame, blind, cr*zy, st*pid and more.

the key difference here is whether you are quoting bigotry you have encountered or whether you're being bigoted as well.

i am multiply disabled and we don't do that kind of thing here, so if i ignored your ask or blocked you, that's probably why.

what is exorsexism?

in short, exorsexism is the oppression of and bigotry against nonbinary people. it is essentially sexism directed at nonbinary people. furthermore, it also includes the hatred of anything heavily associated with nonbinary people, like certain pronouns. exorsexism ranges from the erasure of nonbinary people to outright hostility. there are many different kinds of exorsexism as there are many different kinds of exorsexism. exorsexism affects the whole range of nonbinary gender identities, including but not limited to agender, multigender, genderfluid, aporagender & xenogender people, as well as androgynes, nonbinary men & nonbinary women.

here's an incomplete list of examples of exorsexism:

- nonbinary erasure, not just erasure of all nonbinary people, but also of more specific gender identities

- forcing nonbinary people into the gender binary or creating new gender-related binaries to force us into (e.g. amab/afab, masc/fem, men/non-men, cis/trans)

- thinking gender can't be fluid

- thinking everyone has to have a gender

- thinking nonbinary identities are new, a trend, a choice, a phase or a way to try and be special

- erasing exorsexism as a specific form of oppression

- thinking nonbinary people have to look a certain way

- centring binary people & experiences in communities that have historically included us

- mocking they, it and neopronouns

- thinking that "everyone is a bit nonbinary"/reducing nonbinaryhood to gender nonconformity

- thinking nonbinary people are just deviations from binary genders, i.e. men & women lite

#this is exorsexism #exorsexism #nonbinary #enby #agender #multigender #genderfluid #bigender #pangender #genderflux #androgyne #demigirl #demiboy #aporagender #neutrois #maverique #xenogender

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rorah · 4 months

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The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #my lil blorbo with mental health issues #few3hopes #fire emblem warriors 3 hopes #Today I woke up and felt like venting #BUT Just to make myself clear #this has nothing to do with ships #you can ship whatever you want #You do you #Just in case someone has that feeling #This is an analysis from a mental health point of view #because it is one of the strong points of this character and with which many of us connect/relate #So I like to apply psychological and neurological (even psychiatric if necessary) perspectives #And I like to apply realistic theories to this fictional world because that is the good thing about three-dimensional characters #They feel so human that all these hypotheses can be applied #If some of you don't. That's cool too. You do you #Enjoy the game as you please lil fella #ALSO ALSO I'm taking into account what the intention of the developers was #(that would be tricky considering the inconsistency withing the developers' team >___>)

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lissrissye · 4 months

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“𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰…” | bungo stray dogs (bsd)

osamu dazai, nakahara chuuya, ryunsouke akutagawa, gogol nikolai, dostoevsky fyodor

🪻𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰 ; you are weeping because you feel insecure… they, of course, wouldn’t leave you alone just like that. they come into the room to comfort you, attempting to reassure you and tell you just how perfect you are… because you are ! <3

🪻 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 ; i lowkey got this idea since i was feeling so damn insecure earlier today <3 but just remember your self worth, pooks! you’re literally worth the world, so love yourself and be confident, mi amor ! try to stay positive, and compliment yourself because you fucking deserve it !

🪻 𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 ; fluff, sweet romance, safe for work, comfort, angst

𝒪𝓈𝒶𝓂𝓊 𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾 — 太宰治

The keys inserted in the keyhole as Dazai twists it, unlocking the door after a day of investigating tiring cases. A huff escapes his lips softly as he pushes the door open, the fresh scent of home meeting his nostrils. He slips off his tan trench coat, letting it drop off his shoulders as he hangs it on the coat rack at the enterance with the first instinct to look for you. You were his first priority.

A soft noise of a sobbing seeps from the bedroom. You were the only one in the house, so Dazai rushes to the bedroom to see your silhouette in the dim room, the gentle moonlight illuminating a soft pearly white light. He walks to your side with an empathetic frown, bending down. —“Are you okay, belladonna? Please don’t be afraid to express your worries to me, my dear.”

You slowly turn your head to your brunette lover, a quiet cry coming from you as you reach over to embrace him for comfort. Osamu obliges happily, wrapping his arms around you and nodding as you vent to him. He sees his past self in you, and he wishes to protect you… he doesn’t want you to go through the things he had to learn from. He doesn’t want you to get hurt. No, no never. —“I get it, belladonna. Keep going, let it all out and do my hold back. It will only pain you more to bottle everything up. Trust me, I know from personal experience, and I don’t want you to go through the same things I had too.”

𝒩𝒶𝓀𝒶𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶 𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 — 中原中也

With a glass of wine in hand, Chuuya returns from the bar after a mission complete for the Port Mafia. All he wishes is a refreshing, undisturbed 7 hours of sleep at the very least. He reaches for his keys as the keyhole accepts it with ease, the door making a soft click as it’s unlocked. He twists the handle, too lazy to even push it open, so he just uses his weight for it to swing open. He kicks off his glossy black shoes while heading inside to look for you.

—“Hmmph— pretty? Where are ‘ya…?” The executive calls out your name several times to receive no response. With a groan, he sets down his glass of liquor on the coffee table and heads up the stairs… he checks the kitchen, the living room, the restroom, the guest room… then eventually, after walking around the house, the only option was you were in your guy’s shared bedroom. Chuuya grabs into the handle and opens the door, as you didn’t put much thought into locking it.

With wide eyes, the first thing he sees is you, sitting on the cold floor while holding your knees, softly rocking back and forth. His first assumption is that someone had hurt you, though his blue orbs couldn’t discover any injuries on you. He sighs while approaching you, immediately cradling you in his arms and putting you up on the bed. —“Shhh, don’t cry… You boyfriend is here. Tell me everything, okay? Let me relive your stress and release the weight off your shoulders. You don’t have to hold it in anymore.” As you explain to ginger darling that you’re feeling insecure, he listens intensely… —“Don’t be insecure, you’re fucking gorgeous, Ma chėrie…”

𝑅𝓎𝓊𝓃𝑜𝓈𝓊𝓀𝑒 𝒜𝓀𝓊𝓉𝒶𝑔𝒶𝓌𝒶 — 芥川龍之介

After a day with Atsushi, Akutagawa was irritated and tired. He despised working with the jinko more than anything. Slowly stepping up the stairs leading up to the door, he searched his pockets for his keys. He then had to took the time to find the right key for the front door, making him grumble softly. Finally, he positioned the key with the keyhole, letting it slip in as he turned the key.

With a sigh, the Diablo placed his keys on the coffee table and bent down to remove his shoes, frequently putting it his hand over his mouth to cough. You haven’t answered his text messages, which made him quite concerned. He heard soft whimpering, as if someone tried to be silent. It came from the living room. He quickly made his way there only to find you curled up in a blanket, a pillow buried in your face. You sounded so vulnerable, dread and sorrow washing over you… Akutagawa hated seeing you like this, it pained his heart.

—“Hey— hey, hey… why are you crying? Are you hurt, are you okay? Please, please tell me…” Your black haired lover gently extracted the pillow from your grasp, cupping your face with his hands. He was silently panicking because he didn’t know how to comfort someone as he himself never experienced it except from you, so he tried to intimidate his actions. Despite being terrible at it, you appreciate it because he was attempting, and doing his absolute best to make you feel better. —“Do you want to… cuddle? Maybe eat snacks?… Erm…”

𝒢𝑜𝑔𝑜𝓁 𝒩𝒾𝓀𝑜𝓁𝒶𝒾 —ゴーゴリニコライ

After a day of annoying Fyodor and terrorizing innocent citizens for fun, Nikolai skipped to the front door and immediately started to unlock the door as quickly as he could. He created this sort of challenge for himself, how quick could he open the door everyday. Well, let’s just say Nikolai wasn’t too normal. Okay, far from the ordinary human being. With a hum, he managed to head inside in approximately 15 seconds or so. It took him a bit to decipher which key was for the door.

—“Oh, oh my little angel!~ Where are you?~ I need you to help me clean blood stains of my clothes, pretty please~ I’ll find you if I need too!~” The jester cooed your name softly, his voice reaching your ears because of the echos in the hallway. His voice was accompanied with a maniacal giggle. He didn’t bother to remove his shoes and skipped away to the restroom to one, see if you were there, and two, to wash the blood stains on his white clothes. With a soft hum, he switched the light on to see you on the ground, covering your stomach.

—“Hm?~ My beautiful dove?~” Nikolai couldn’t help but feel empathy for you, as he couldn’t lie that he felt something wash over him as he watched you in this state, all vulnerable. He bend down, first spraying some cologne to attempt to cover up the horrible stench on the blood on his clothes. —“Shhh, shhh~” He whispered softly on your ear, a bit stiff when it came to comforting you but he did his best and started to make jokes to try to make you laugh.

𝒟𝑜𝓈𝓉𝑜𝑒𝓋𝓈𝓀𝓎 𝐹𝓎𝑜𝒹𝑜𝓇 — ドストエフスキー・

A long, long day that felt like eternity with Nikolai annoying him, Fyodor was finally home. A soft grunt of exhaustion emerged from him as he checks his pockets for his keys, patting it down until he feels a bulge. He shoves his hand in that pocket and profess to find which key unlocks the front door. He makes sure not to loose it as he pushes it in the keyhole and twists it.

—“Myshka, I’m home.” The terrorist spoke softly, removing his shoes accompanied by his fluffy ushanka hat. When he noticed you aren’t running towards him as per usual, he tilts his head slightly in confusion. He walks around the house to look for you because you were acting very strange. He didn’t even have to see you to even know. As he approached the living room, he turns his head to the sofa to see two blankets covering you. You eeemed to attempt on hiding from him at first.

Fyodor did not hesitate to rush by your side. Cruel, heartless, brutal. Those were the words he received from the public as a unregretful terrorist. Though, you could argue with that just now as he scooped you up immediately and sat beside you, treating you like a princess. Fyodor could already tell what was happening as well, you didn’t have to tell him you were insecure. It made you feel better because you wouldn’t have to speak. He whispered sweet praises in your ear to show you how much of a precious treasure you are to him… —“You’re absolutely stunning and perfect the way you are, my dear… don’t change that.”

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