#this is absurdly long haha sorry
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playing omori is legit like. a worse version of any yume nikki fangame. the game design is so poor and considering how long it took to even come out, with allegations the creator used the kickstarter money for personal purchases… it’s kind of insane and inexcusable how bad it is. idc how much you like the story if it takes 25 miserable hours to get there!!
EXACTLYYY and honestly playing through it, it felt so... passionless. I think its kind of obvious that omocat only expected to have a few backers instead of the kick-starter blowing up and overfunding her rpgmaker game.
For some comparison:
Undertale : USD$51,124 kickstarter budget, took 2 years to release
Hollow Knight: A$57,000 kickstarter budget, took 3 years to release
Omori: USD$203,300 kickstarter budget, took SEVEN years to release
It was a known fact before omoris release that omocat took the money and spent it on their clothing line and shop (in fact one of the promos for their shop opening was that visitors would get to play a demo for omori, which enraged the kickstarter backers who had been left in radio silence for years and were apparently not even going to be able to play the demo unless they went to the shop, and then the demo was released on a fucking dropbox link.) And for a while a bunch of backers fully believed they had been scammed. Plus one of the funding goals was to make omori available for the 3ds, which not only is impossible for the rpgmaker engine, but also by the time the game released the 3ds was defunct.
And you know, maybe its just because omocat is an artist who didn't really know much about game design. Maybe that's why it got so messy. Sure! It could be that! But even then, by art standards, omori lacks A LOT. only the main characters get to have face portraits despite there being many reocurring relevant characters both in dream and real world, and ALL the main characters have the same head and bangs like they were made on a fucking picrew. The monsters and npc designs were absurdly lacking (like come on look at the sprout moles) and as much they bragged about slime girls composing the ost it was actually pretty damn mediocre. The pixel art too, for the most of the dream world its repeated assets over and over (the forest is SO ugly with all the reused trees) when it's not referencing yume nikki imagery
Also sorry but i have to mention again how hideous the forest areas look with the same trees copypasted everywhere. Like damn dude at least change the colors a little.
Not to mention the gorgeously made pixel part with that mspaint spray effect (its ugly. Im saying its ugly. What the fuck is this dithering.)
And the funny thing is that the (real world) story is actually pretty solid for a horror game. But in order to experience it you have to sit through extremely cringy, annoying and excessive dialogue written by adults who don't really know how kids talk and interact with each other. The dream world segments take up 80% of the game and every single arc in it SUCKS. They're overdragged, uninteresting, unfunny and obnoxious. But haha look if you do this you get a jumpscare! Isn't this game so deep????
And after omori got released it feels like you just can't do creepy cute things anymore without being compared to it. Its tiring 😑 fuck poomori
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hello aaaa i wrote an ask and my internet glitched so idk if it sent or not, so i'm super sorry if you got two in a row! you can ignore this is if you did haha. nyway i just wanted to say i really enjoy your blog and i saw you mention that you have a lot of pre-canon mako thoughts/hcs -- would you, by chance, like to share some of them :O i would be endlessly delighted!! (only if you want to ofc!) (also you're insanely sweet in the tags of reblogs you made of my silly posts, ty <3)
hiiii helloooo yess! i would be thoroughly delighted to share some of my many many mako thoughts and headcanons. alas i have no spoons for writing a whole ass long thing today and so will be posting a novel length scream fest about mako tomorrow when i hopefully have more spoons and time <3
for now tho, here are some posts i made in the past with some mako thoughts and headcanons and even a couple snippets of a fic i'm writing:
general mako facts and angst and mako being the only responsible adult in the krew
angsty fic snippet where mako's trying to get hired by RCPD but they are suspicious of his past
super fucking angsty fic snippet of mako having TRAUMA™
absurdly angsty fic snippet about Mako's trauma with firebending and his parents' murders
variety pack of angsty lil fic snippets
thoughts about why mako finds it hard to trust or rely on people
lots of angsty (pre-series) headcanons about how shitty mako's life has been and how much trauma this boy has been through
more thoughts about mako's relationship with his bending
hope that helps stave off the mako angst itch for a bit while i summon the energy and am hopefully blessed with the spoons to write a thing <3
#mako lok#tlok mako#mako supremacy#mako#legend of korra#lok#tlok#avatar#i love mako so fucking much#sdkjfasdf#ask#atlok
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Saw that you were doing hh matchups and I'd love to request one!!!! (I have literally no idea how to format this 😭😭 Sorry for ant typos btw!!)
Gender and preference: I'm a trans demiboy who uses He/It/They + some neos >:3 Pretty sure I'm Gray AroAce but I'm also like only interested in men the few times I experience attraction to real people (and fictional characters but like- with them as long as they're not minors there is a 50/50 chance I'll simp) I love other hyper dudes and people who will listen to me infodump and someone who isn't afraid of talming because tbh that makes me think that they think I'm annoying. I love sarcastic people who have a similar sense of humor to me.
Looks: I kinda just wear whatever I grab as long as it's comfy and clean. I usually wear sweatpants and hoodies. My hair is brown, short, and absurdly soft. Like it legit feels like fur and I usually only shampoo it and occasionally put conditioner in it wtf. I have blue eyes and a lot of the times accidentally doing that 'blue-eyed stare' (according to my friends apparently). I'm also a lil' chubby but not a lot (it's also usually hidden behind my rlly baggy clothes).
Personality: I'm a dirty minded fuck but absolutely almost entirely despise the idea of doing anything beyond cuddling. I'm sarcastic af and I'll sometimes accidentally overstep boundaries that I didn't see as clear and I'll feel rlly guilty about it. I absolutely hate pet names (unless someones gonna call me stuff like 'good boy' or anything like that) I'm also a coyote and dog therian. I love to draw and read and I will rant about my hyperfixations until my mouth is drier than the Sahara desert. I don't forgive easily and I'd rather convince myself that I hate someone and I was in the right rather than forgive someone. I'm super hyper like constantly and I'm practically bouncing off the walls 24/7 but this causes me to be an insomniac and melatonin doesn't work so it'll get so bad to the point where I'm practically falling asleep every five seconds even when I'm standing or walking. I have a more dark sense of humor but I try not to say anything really bad.
Bye!!! ^^
this was a tough choice, but I ended up going with…
Angel Dust !!
Angel is more than willing to listen to you yap, as well as actually engage in the conversation, so do not fret about that!! haha
This may be a surprise, but he doesn’t mind the fact that you’re not into physical touch, cause to be honest, neither is he. Considering how much he’s been used in his industry, it’s a bit of a break for him
Sometimes he can’t help it with pet names, but he does try to use the ones you really like, but he may or not default to his usuals haha
#reqs closed#x reader#hazbin hotel#mio’s writing ! ☆#mio’s matchups ! ☆#fanfiction#x y/n#x you#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel#angel dust#angel
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Song Meme
Tagged by @nyerusnova ages ago!! Sorry Nye, I am a space case.
Most of my stuff is romance-focused. I like electronic dance beats, anything that features faith (not the religious kind) and longing, space imagery, lil bit of desperation or resignation.
shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people
OK - Stadiumx Remix (Robin Shulz, James Blunt, Stadiumx)
When every star falls from the sky / And every last heart in the world breaks / Oh, hold me now / When every ship is going down/ I don't fear nothing when I hear you say / It's gonna be okay
Great chorus, just the right amount of longing, lively. Reassurance.
Dance 2 Your Heartbeat (Tommie Sunshine, Disco Fries, Wrongchilde, Sierra Kusterbeck)
I love DUETS SO MUCH UGH. Heartbeats, dancing, etc. Upbeat.
Sunrise (ARTY, April Bender)
Love focus yet again, upbeat, electronic.
Lonely Together (feat. Rita Ora) (Avicii, Rita Ora)
I caught the edge of a knife/ And it hurts just a little / And I know, and I know, and I know / And I know that I can't be your friend / It's my head or my heart / And I'm caught in the middle / My hands are tied, but not tight enough /You're the high that I can't give up
I really like "My hands are tied, but not tight enough." More upbeat music with depressing lyrics!
Yuri on ICE - ユリー!!! on Concert CD (Ensemble FOVE)
Obviously a core part of my personality. Glad it showed up on shuffle, haha.
Take (wens)
I never been honest with myself / Faked my way through the most, did whatever, what the hell
Resigned to love and afraid to open up. Also, liars who know they're liars and weaklings who know they're weak! Lyrically hits a lot of my fav topics.
You (feat. Skybourne) (Built by Titan, Skybourne)
But maybe it’s true, maybe it’s true / You’re more than this human heart
SO HOPEFUL. So upbeat!!
Can't Help Falling in Love (Bailey Baum)
Everyone knows this one. Classic. But I really like this cover of it.
Anymore (Madilyn Paige, David Archuleta)
HOPEFUL. So hopeful.
Drive (Valerie Broussard)
Let's escape together: the song.
If you'd like to do this meme, feel free! I get absurdly shy about tagging people, so I'm not, but if you want to in the slightest please do.
Included the playlist because why not.
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okay let's try this again, this time with my brain plugged in
overall, story-wise I admire the devs' efficiency of storytelling in introducing new groups of characters, giving you a peek at the relationship dynamics between them and what makes them interesting, and then immediately proceeding to 'and now it's time for you to kill them, because you are running an RPG dungeon for hapless adventurers to dive into.' Several groups here feel like they could be the protagonists of a shorter game in their own right. sorry I killed you guys but you know how it is.
Mechanically... not gonna get too deep into the game's overall systems at this point, but I think they did a pretty solid job of making each new story encounter an interesting challenge with something new to deal with. Once I sorted out the whole 'you don't have enough good key pages to outfit the entire library, you've gotta shuffle them around a lot or you're playing on hard mode' thing, nothing has felt ridiculously hard when I first unlocked it, but very few fights have felt all that easy either. (The 'nothing has felt ridiculously hard' part may change soon though, because somebody thought it was a good idea to fight the Red Mist again. goddamn it Angela, I just did that last game. At least dig up the Backward Clock for me to fall back on if you're gonna pull this shit.)
I'm not gonna go into every single reception, but hitting some of the highlights...
Streetlight: Probably the first group I felt really bad about murdering? Sorry Lulu. (Okay these early ones are gonna be kind of short, lbr they have a lot less going on than later stuff.)
Zwei: Whoops felt bad again. This time it was ameliorated by getting Walter's key page and going 'wait you're gonna just... let me do that? Is this actually okay?'
Carnival: is the point that made me stop and go 'oh man these devs know how to do some weird transhumanism stuff,' and that basically doesn't let up for the rest of the game. On the other hand this is also the point where I kinda sighed and started finding all the endless industrial uses for dead humans a bit on-the-nose.
Dawn: well I can see no way that killing these guys could go poorly, not like one of them will have a days/weeks-long breakdown and turn into a swarm of flaming cherubs that kill tens of thousands of people or something haha. Yuna deserved more/cooler mechanics. Solo Fixer who carries her gear around in a guitar case or something and shows up like 'hey I just beat up some crazy stuff by myself.' make Yuna cooler you cowards.
Gaze: Gaze Office is cool as hell. I love them. Love their fucking C memory management joke names. (Which are apparently also Korean puns or something.) Love their weird rainbow camera heads. Too bad that they're kinda mechanically trash. They were one of the easiest fights for me, and I've never found much use for... anything they do, really.
Kurokumo: thus begins the era of Slashing Builds. this era has not yet actually ended for me.
Bremen: I actually felt a bit bad for these guys too. I mean sure they're murderers but they seem so earnest about it, and they did get their heads messed with by supernatural forces. But also why didn't you losers give me blunt power abilities. You should really take after Sayo more. I'm sure she's a fine role model.
Love Town: [banging pots and pans together] LOVE TOWN LOVE TOWN LOVE TOWN. listen the entire story here is so absurdly horrible and over the top that it's almost funny, but I feel like if you're gonna get invested in these games you've gotta be capable of looking at 'so they all spent millennia locked in a train and unable to die until the few who still retained some of their sanity sewed their bodies together into Flesh Amalgam Creatures to fight off their zombified comrades' and pumping your fist instead of pointing out that that all seems like a bit much. Tomerry was an interesting fight but at the same time, never wanna do that again. Some of my well-meaning friends warned me to gird my stomach for this section, unaware of just how much body horror media I've consumed over the years.
Sweepers: On one hand? I kinda came out of this liking the Sweepers themselves, despite everything. Aw, they're just a big happy family, makin' their way in the world. just, Their Way just happens to involve a lot of meathooks and, uh, liquefying people to make special goo or something? On the other hand fuck this fight. Even now that I've beaten it several times, I still hate it. This begins the pattern of 'nothing that is happening here, mechanically, is moral or just.'
Shi: okay look I don't have much to say about Shi itself. this is a basically-unrelated sidebar. You know how Yujin's key page gives you that broken speed die? I am cursed so that every single big attack targets it, and always with a really high speed so I can't intercept. A boss has some once-per-fight attack that's like '8-21 damage, on hit: stagger the target, apply 5 Fragile next round'? it's gonna target Yujin's broken die, with a speed of like 6-7, every single time. My friends assure me that this isn't intentional and I'm just very unlucky, but I'm this close to retiring the page and ripping the good parts off to use elsewhere. I've seriously lost four or five big fights over Yujin suddenly getting ripped in half three rounds in, or getting smacked with a 'if this hits anybody you automatically lose the fight' attack, with no ability to defend.
8 o'clock Circus: fuck this fight. Oswald isn't in it, but I appreciate his whole deal though. Like, he's not a good guy. I'm not even sure I like him. But it takes some skill to be an interesting fucked up clown in 2023, and he manages it.
Smiling Faces: I love how even after you read their books, there's no real explanation of what their deal is. at this point the game's just like 'look, they're weird old folks who chop people up or something and like to take fat bong rips, you can probably name a dozen explanations for all of this at this point.' The fight itself is an absolute pain thanks to Deep Drag, but your reward is... being able to hit enemies with Deep Drag. I don't like smoke builds as much as most people, it seems, but I'll concede that when they do work they're great. And, I mean, I still put a smoker on most teams up until fairly recently.
Crying Children: sometimes a fight is just too fucking long. I'm sorry Phil "the big sad baby" McFixer, but if you want me to get invested in your personal character arc you've gotta limit your boss fight to like five phases tops. (Angela is exempt from this of course.)
WARP Crew: see the Love Town bullet above, but also I felt pretty bad about killing these guys too. Sorry Lesti. Also I find it very funny that part of the reason behind the VIP seats is to make sure that anybody with really expensive combat augs is not waiting for them inside the train after spending about two millennia losing their goddamn mind.
Blue Reverb/Church of Gears: I really expected this fight to be harder but let's be real I haven't seen the last of this asshole.
Cane: I'm just here for Nemo, babey.
R Corp: hhhhh. For one thing, this fight is a fucking slog, and it opens up with possibly the hardest act of its three. For another, you're gonna make me kill Myo? Really? On the upside: Rabbit-based titles for everyone. I haven't beaten this reception yet since I only tried it once so far and went in unprepared for some of the tomfoolery, but I still got within about two hits of winning, so I'm confident I'll get it next time.
Night Awls/Udjat/Kim/Dong-hwan: yesssss give me your stuff. I could've gone without having to fight the Udjat though.
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Hello, I dont usually speak on much but as someone whos also been here for an absurdly long time I too understand how you feel haha and just wanted to give a friendly metaphorical pat on the back because it really does fuck me up too sometimes. I guess ive been wanting to talk to Someone about any part of larry for a long time but for me I guess I dont feel much most of the time because im just waiting :/ I really do believe at some point we will get answers and see whether louis and harry do get to be publicly together (or broken up) but either way its knowing that at some point I will be proven Right that keeps me mainly unbothered by the crap we see day to day. Not to say that I dont get the initial "what the actual fuck are his team doing/ who decided this/ why is this happening for the 100th time" when a new stunt or absurdity comes along - this probably applies to the documentary aswell like I know ill groan and feel terrible for half a minute if Babygate is included but I guess I managed to at some point not let it get to me as like a personal problem? I guess and not feel emotionally attached, and I hope that you too could not have it plague you so much, I wish you the best haha and hope that at some point you would be able to continue to enjoy larry even during absurd times.
Sorry if this is like a rant you dont have to post this I guess I just felt bad seeing your post and would throw in some tiny speck of hope haha but yeah its funny cause I dont think ive ever really doubted the idea that I know they were together - obviously we dont know whether its the same now but since I havent really been proven otherwise whos to say im wrong if I were to believe they managed to have a beautiful long term relationship up until now lol but yeah thats all I got for now since I dont want to make it any longer but yeah im sorry you feel that way and I hope you manage to feel even the slightest bit better about this whole ridiculous circus we all managed to be drafted into hahaha
hey, thanks for your message 💕
i’ve definitely learned to detach myself from a lot of things over the years but idk lately it feels like something has changed and i don’t fully understand it? and i’m ok with acknowledging that there are things i’ll never know and that it’s not my life. i’ve always preached that on here. but some of the more recent stunt stuff/public image decisions really don’t make any sense to me in terms of pleasing fans or marketing to a wider audience or protecting their closets. like it all just seems completely nonsensical and unnecessary and it’s not fun to sit by and watch. i’m not gonna act like i’m being forced to be here, that’s totally on me. but idk i’m just sad that this is where we are now.
there is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever convince me that h&l aren’t gay or that they’ve never been together or that louis is a dad but i hate watching their images rapidly devolve for a reason i can’t begin to fathom. i’ve always been able to be dramatic for a minute and then laugh and move on but the feeling of dread has been more and more frequent and i feel like i’m doing myself a disservice by continuing to act like stuff isn’t affecting me. i don’t really know what to do right now, because i’m not happy but i love h&l so much and they’ve been a huge part of my life for so many years and i don’t know how to let that go. i feel like the doc is going to be a decider for me, but then again i have a louis concert in june lmao so who knows man.
anyway that was massively dramatic fkfjfk but thank you for the metaphorical pat on the back and for giving me a reason to vent some more lol
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DID YOU KNOW that a majority of the stars we look at in the sky aren't actually dead?? while its true that we're seeing images of them from like 10K years ago, but they have such absurdly long lifespans that actually only a few in the entire night sky are actually dead. its pretty cool!
(btw, this is a fun anon so vry sorry if it came across as mean qwueaskhjdahk) (i personally still go with the whole 'star graveyard' thing because its soo much more poetic. but i think its pretty cool this way too. we'll never know whether the star we're looking at is one of the ones that are dead or alive. the world is kind of like that too, i think? idk haha)
anyway soso sorry for just ranting in your inbox um. hi hows your day?
yeah I did know that actually! some of them are dead but quite a few aren't and that's pretty cool! I might actually end up doing something related to this for a project I need to submit actually, it's a pretty interesting topic
also I feel this has something to do with the title of my blog in which case, just so you know it's just a lyric from a song lmao dw
no no dw it didn't come off as mean at all! it was a really interesting ask; I love talking about space
and don't worry about ranting in my inbox! you can go ahead and rant even more if you like! I'd love to hear from you. my day's going okay for now, what about you?
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oh right, i forgot about the choose your own adventure story again. Sorry. It's been absurdly busy. I can usually bang one out before going to bed if I don't care about quality
i guess while i'm here i'll update you on Divinity and Her Flaws:
So yeah, Chapter 12 still in progress. I really don't have a timeframe when it'll be done. I have very specific and important scenes to put in and because I DO care about the quality, it's taking me a long time to get sentences and paragraphs to sound right.
I swear my process is like:
just write a simple sentence, get the thought out
okay now describe this
DON'T FUCKING FORGET HER TAIL... AND... AND HER EARS
DON'T FORGET HOW THINGS SMELL, OMG GO BACK, DID YOU FORGET TO DESCRIBE .... THE LEAF?!?!?! OH YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT!
wait that's an american saying. make everything easy to translate
i don't know what i'm doing
cry
[everyday i- punches wall meme]
delete
retry
goddamn it, is it night or day now? why is it night? didn't they just wake up? Wasn't in morning in the last paragraph?
screaming
well that's enough writing today
The writing: "Adora giggled."
so, you know, buttery smooth writing - no troubles at all haha
Just also know that I have like work and school to do which unfortunately has higher priority. So I apologize for those delays - i am suffering lol.
I also need to read a little more to get INTO writing mode because my writing degrades if that's all I do.
ANYWAY, that's where I'm at.
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Can you give more details about your lapis comic? Like what time is it set in or is it an au or a rewrite? I'm sory I'm just curios 😔 it's really fun seeing your occasional posts about it
omg yes ofc thank u so much for asking 🥺🥺🥺 YEAH so its basically intended to just fill in what I would consider as a missing arc for lapis, everything in it is written so that it could believably have happened in the show offscreen similar to how other series spinoff comics have done things. Its not an au and not intended to be a rewrite, I'm doing my best to just expand on her character in a way I think was implied in the show but was never fully fleshed out (imo). I have a prologue that takes place right before Super Watermelon Island, then parts 1 thru 4 take place between seasons 3 and 5 and I have an epilogue that takes place a month after Change Your Mind. Hopefully the end result fits decently within the narrative of the show without too much suspending of disbelief necessary. Also gonna fill in missing development with her and Peridot obviously.
I'm writing it with the intention of it being a psychological horror while not being jarring different toneally from the show aha. I've actually been going out of my way to watch and read more surreal and psych horror based media to try and get more creative with it, its been a good way to get myself to finally pick things up that I've been putting off looking into! The horror elements are definitely secondary to keeping things feeling natural within the universe and I'm not introducing anything that would feel absurdly out of place (at least I hope not!) I would say the peaks are maybe equivalent in tone to Keeping It Together with maybe sometimes veering a little darker but nothing crazy.
ANYWAYS I'm hoping that I'm not overwhelming myself haha, I'm being really careful about how much I'm public about before I at the very least have everything completely scripted because I know from personal experience that jumping the gun on starting huge comic projects before you're prepared can quickly lead to a ton of stress and burnout. The comic has a title and each part has a thematic name but I'm gonna wait until everything is more solid before I actually say what it's called lol, its just another way to keep some pressure off myself until I feel like I'm ready. I am working on making a set of pages for a scene that I really wanted to see visualized so I can feel out the style and look that I'm going for and once I'm done I'm gonna post em here! I'm probably gonna release it one part at a time but I'm gonna wait until I at the very least have everything sketched before I go that far, once I'm ready I'm gonna make a little neocities website to host all the pages on ^__^
Ok sorry this is kinda going on for a long time, I wanted to be a little more specific but there's like a lot I wanted to cover LOL I really the commentary and interactions people have with my art esp anything having to do with this project 🥺 staying motivated with big projects can be really tough especially with things like comics and I don't wanna expect too much out of myself but people interacting with my art on here has really put me in good spirits about creation and I'm really excited to share everything one day <3 if anyone ever has any other questions abt it u r very encouraged to ask i love to talk about my projects
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Hey, I requested a quarry matchup sometime yesterday, though I forgot some things that could be important. I was the forensic science guy. So I’ll just re-write my request. Hopefully I’m not being annoying.
I’m a Biromantic guy with a long haired tabby that I’d consider my best friend. I’m an ambivert and an autistic guy. My love languages are gift giving and quality time.
I’m studying forensic science, though I’m into many forms of science such as Space sciences, human anatomy, and chemistry. I also really enjoy psychology.
I’m someone who enjoys reading, mostly horror stories and limited romance, though I enjoy romance with bad endings seeing as I’m a bit of a sadistic guy. I love psychological horror and rom-com movies. I also really like ghost hunting videos. I also really love anything apocalypse related.
I personally believe in spirits and shit, and that’s mixed in with my paranoia, so I’m someone who suffers from well, paranoia, and insomnia.
I really enjoy music, and practically have a playlist for anything I deem worthy of one. My favourite songs right now would be Toca La Guitarra (Professor Caveman), Ragtime Gal (Wild Ire), and Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons).
I love games like just dance, Mario kart, and stray. Pretty much just any weird competitive games or games where you have a large range of freedom.
That’s pretty much it though. Once again, sorry for sending another request, just felt necessary in order to move on haha
omg no worries at all!! thank u sm for sending in a matchup <3!!
i match you with: ryan!
ryan is a cat person all the way and he would definitely love your cat! i think he would try so hard for your cat to like him because of how much they means to you. expect for your cat to be heavily spoiled by ryan. there’ll be a lot of treats, ear scratches, and toys in their future.
ryan is really interested in forensics and psychology because of the true crime podcasts he listens to so he’d ask you to relay different facts about those sciences. i feel like you and him would listen to those podcasts together and talk about the cases with eachother. if you know those true crime boxes with fake cases to solve, you and ryan would definitely try to solve those crimes together.
i can totally see ryan being a psychological horror type of guy so you both would definitely have movie nights together. ryan would so love to discuss the movie afterwards like what you thought about it ,what the movie meant, that sort of stuff! he definitely has his guilty pleasure rom-coms to watch, his favorite being when harry met sally. he would be so down to watch your favorites too though.
ryan fully believes in ghosts and all that type of stuff and he also watches ghost hunting videos. especially if we’re talking ryan after the events of the quarry, it’d be hard to believe if he didn’t think the supernatural was real. he, for sure, likes to point out stuff you both see or hear in those ghost hunting videos like orbs or things heard through the evp recorder. it’s basic but he really likes buzzfeed unsolved and of course he believes in ghosts like ryan but his fave is definitely shane.
ryan is absurdly good at mario kart, it’s actually crazy. he mainly plays as yoshi and god forbid he gets a blue shell. i think he’s pretty competitive when it comes to that game so you both would definitely be challenging eachother on a regular basis. i can imagine you both playing multiplayer open world games. if you’re into it, you both would play minecraft and build a little house together.
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hello hello hope you're having a nice day
according to your bio, you and i are probably the last two people on the planet who remember that jule d exists so i wanted to commiserate for a moment ... do you ever think about what could have been if he had the same kind of ambition and mentality as his peers and actually strove to reach his full potential ... i love seeing my bayern boys succeed for club and country (shoutout to the class of 1995 i love those guys) but i sometimes still wish he could do the same ... at one point i really thought he would be germany captain but that's obviously not happening now ... doesn't even get called up anymore and that's kind of sad tbh ... also moment of silence for the other lost talents of that generation too ...
sorry for long post i hope you are doing great <3
haha i haven't talked about julian in soooo long... months? years? welp
it is genuinely disappointing which is why i detached myself from following him as much after a certain point post-move-to-psg when i realized yeah he wasn't really going anywhere beyond this
i really do think it's a mentality thing which is why i was always a bit relieved he never joined bayern despite the occasional rumor here and there; he just doesn't have the ambition! which is almost even more disappointing because i think he's got great technique and if he had just applied himself more i don't think he'd be where he has been for the past few years but also he seems satisfied and i can't blame him! everyone's priorities are different
i don't think i ever wished or believed he'd reach captaincy with the nt but at least in the confederations cup he had obviously earned a lot of trust with joachim (and became another point of argument against joachim's time with the nt b/c of favoritism, keeping julian around when it wasn't as though he was as qualified as other players on the squad or even those left out of the squad) so it's another factor of disappointment that he had so much potential and so many resources and did like. nothing with them lol
happy that he seems to be happy though so good for him! but yeah. it's a bit tragic for me to witness since he grew up as one of those wunderkinder and then sort of faded away... but many young players unfortunately go through that. just sucked with julian because i felt he had so many chances (more than he deserved imo lol) and...... ??? nothing!
don't apologize for the long ask ! this is an absurdly long answer <3 i don't mind talking about him it's been so long lol
#answered#he's also like. not the most well-mannered guy lol#so good for him that he has a steady spot at psg gets paid and has a baby on the way!#i think that's all he really wanted not much more? it doesn't seem so at least#julian draxler#babe jules
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oh god cielo what have you done. What have you done with godmaker. I usually send you very long asks but today its like i'm broken. My stomach is churning at the thought of what happens in the future. Like i was actually seeing the future with the reader.
Shibuya arc broke me, safe to say. Maybe its the thought of going through that again that's haunting me haha. And knowing your writing style, I *know* i'll have a vivid recollection of it. But for now, I'll enjoy the possessive gojo you have gifted me with and pretend nothing bad ever happens and everything is going to be ok.
As always, take love cielo. You’re really an amazing writer. I'm not much of an analyzer, I don't usually catch the finer details of a story. So while I can't show my appreciation like that, please know that Godmaker is the only fic i actively look forward to. Always. It makes my day better in a horrendous but good way.
Take care!!!💟
this is absurdly kind omg. im sorry for the 6 day late response sometimes i get busy during the week 😭 and i had a busy lil weekend!! but anon i am so glad to hear that you're enjoying this story and looking forward (or dreading lol) the ending??
i can't describe the ending. i don't think it's absurdly angsty but....idk?? i don't think ppl are prepared or expecting it maybe lol. or maybe they are!! i will be very curious to see your reaction! i am working on the final chapter this week. unsure if there will be an epilogue or not yet tbh?? i gotta see how the cookie crumbles ya know. i do have it all blocked out tho.
gosh anon thank you so much!! i really appreciate you reading and also reaching out to me in this way!! your words are very encouraging <3 godmaker has been a tough one for me but comments like this make it so worthwhile!!
thank you so so much!!
#this is very kind i am so ☹️💕 like GOD#i really appreciate it#i hope you are doing well and had a good weekend anon#cielo chats!
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Why calling it "logic versus emotion" makes sense
At the end of chapter 2 in Your Turn To Die, the player is forced to choose between killing Sou or Kanna. Kanna frames this as a choice between "logic" and "emotion," where saving Sou is the "logical" choice and saving Kanna is the "emotional" choice.
Personally, I love the writing in this part. I think it's the strongest writing in the whole game. However, since joining the YTTD fandom, I've read various posts from fans who don't like calling this a simple choice between "logic" and "emotion." For them, it felt like an emotional choice to save Sou, while it was a logical choice to save Kanna. After seeing this argument so many times, I decided to unpack my feelings on it. I also wanted to write my own defense of why calling this a choice between "logic" and "emotion" makes sense, at least to me. For me, it all comes down to how it’s written as a choice between two opposing worldviews, and I don’t focus on the little technicalities. I’ll also argue that the game is using descriptive language, rather than prescriptive language.
But first, we have to deal with a strange irony about this choice:
For the genre-savvy player, yes, it IS "logical" to save Kanna and "emotional" to save Sou.
Before writing anything about this choice, I need to acknowledge that Sara and the Player are two different people. They're obviously connected, and they inform each other's feelings and choices, but they still exist in different worlds. Sara is actually trapped in a Death Game. The Player is vicariously experiencing what it would be like to be trapped in a Death Game through a fictional story.
I'm not going to argue that Sara necessarily likes Kanna more than she likes Sou, and thus it is more "emotional" for her to save Kanna. It's possible to play Sara as someone who isn't that affectionate of Kanna, and she can act generously towards Sou. That's not the main issue here.
The issue is that the Player expects the fictional story to go in certain directions based on the morality of their choices, while Sara has no such meta expectations. The Player can reasonably expect to be rewarded with a happy ending at the end of YTTD if they make the "correct" moral choices. Saving Kanna feels like the "morally correct" choice on a gut level because she's a child, while Sou is an adult. So the Player may choose to save Kanna purely for logical reasons. They're not trying to be selfless or wise; they just want a reward from a videogame. And...they're not wrong! Immediately after saving Kanna, the player is rewarded with a cathartic scene with Joe, cluing us in to the idea that choosing Kanna is the "good path."
Meanwhile, if the Player saves Sou, they're saving him in spite of knowing that this could logically lead to a "dark path." You might save Sou because he's a fascinating character, or because you're curious what will happen, or simply because you think he's cute. These are all emotional reasons. Maybe you don't expect any "happy" rewards if you save Sou, but you still expect the story to be exciting with him around.
Speaking for myself, I want to see both the Kanna and Sou routes for reasons that are both emotional and logical. I sympathize with both characters, and I want to analyze them as they continue their arcs. I just think they're great characters connected to fascinating themes about humanity.
In other words, the Player is going to have all sorts of feelings about this choice based on the safety of their separation from the Death Game. It's only a videogame to us. We're not actually killing a child or a young man. We still feel sad about the story, but it's a safe sadness, one we can control. You can make your choice based on which type of tragedy is more interesting to you in the moment.
So that's how the Player experiences the choice, but what about Sara? Does it still make sense to call it a decision between "logic" and "emotion" for her? I would argue, "yes." First of all...
"Logic" and "emotion" are descriptive terms for the argument styles of Kanna and Sou, respectively.
Using "descriptive" terminology means that we attempt to classify language as it is actually being used. Using "prescriptive" terminology means that we dictate how we should be using language.
When Kanna calls this a choice between logic and emotion, you might have thought she was being prescriptive. You might have thought something like, "You can't tell me how I should feel about this." But I think Kanna was simply being descriptive of the language she and Sou were using. It's a fair assessment of their opposing argument styles.
Kanna argues that you should vote for her by appealing to your sense of logic. She eloquently makes the case that Sou has proven himself invaluable to the team with his computer hacking skills. He came extremely close to finding an escape route just before the second Main Game began. With more time, he could find another one. If he dies, there is no one else in their party with his valuable skill set. She also effectively weaponizes her own helplessness by arguing that she is a "useless" child. She states that dying for the greater good "is the only thing she can do." What I love about Kanna's argument is how she twists Sou's own words against him, since Sou has been using coldhearted logical arguments since the beginning. She shows how much she's learned from him, and she's even able to outsmart him.
Sou argues that you should vote for him by appealing to your emotions. He furiously makes the case that he is the most hated member of the team and that you should give into your hatred of him. He says that the choice ought to be obvious based on your feelings. He calls Kanna stupid. He keeps shouting "Stop!" and "No!" He waves his arms in despair. He resorts to threats and exclaims that he will never forgive anyone who votes for Kanna. Sou's argument is compelling because we have never seen him so vulnerable before. Even with his strong will to live, he has an even more desperate will to save the little girl he's grown to care for. It's devastating to watch such a man break down. After losing his previous eloquence, he is forced to bare his soul and pray that that is enough.
However, even with all that in mind, you could still argue on a technicality that some of Kanna's statements are emotional while some of Sou's statements are logical. For example, when Kanna says that she is useless, this reflects her emotional state since she has low self-esteem. And when Sou starts threatening people, it's logical to take his threats seriously.
But there's something deeper at work here than technicalities. There's still something at the core of their arguments that makes the choice to save Sou "logical" and Kanna "emotional."
At its core, this debate is about how to measure a human life's worth. Do you measure a human life based on how "useful" they are? Or do you recognize a person's worth based on their humanity alone?
This is a choice between two worldviews, which the story calls "logical" and "emotional."
In the logical worldview, you prioritize a person's usefulness over their humanity for the greater good. Also, you must be willing to use people like tools for the greater good.
In the emotional worldview, you refuse to reject anyone's humanity, even if it threatens the greater good. Also, you must accept that some moral causes are more important than survival.
If you vote to save Sou, then Sara prioritizes the greater good; theoretically, the group can use Sou to escape. But being willing to use Sou this way rejects Sou's humanity, because we would be using his talents against his will. For Sou, escape is not worth the cost of Kanna's life. Sara also rejects her own humanity by treating both Sou and Kanna as objects instead of people. Kanna is discarded as a useless object, while Sou is kept as a potentially useful one. This is why Sara guiltily calls this "the worst possible choice" when she makes it. And it's why Sou seems to care more about revenge than survival in this route; there is no meaning in a world where we must sacrifice children.
If you vote to save Kanna, Sara does so knowing it may be harder for the group to escape without Sou's skills. But she embraces Sou's humanity by allowing him to follow his heart. She also strengthens her own humanity by refusing to cross a moral line. This is why Sou actually keeps his will to live in this route and mounts a desperate escape before his death. Because there's still meaning in a world where Kanna is allowed to live. He still dies, but with peace and purpose, and having repaid Sara for freeing his true heart.
In any case, you may still disagree with the semantics of "logic" and "emotion" to describe these worldviews, though they work for me personally. I have one more point to address.
Is it really logical to save someone who threatens you?
At this point, I'd like to talk about the most logical member of the group, the character who immediately votes to kill Kanna: Keiji Shinogi.
You, the Player, may believe that Sou will get his revenge if he lives, because it would make a compelling story. And Sara, a high-school student, may be reasonably afraid of Sou's threats, because Sou has tried to hurt her before. Even though the text doesn't portray Sara as being afraid of Sou in this moment, I understand why the Player would fear for Sara's life. In other words, a logical reason to kill Sou is because you don't believe you can control him. How do you force an adult man to behave?
Enter Keiji Shinogi, who doesn't hesitate. Keiji is stronger than Sou, and he's wicked smart. He's confident in his own abilities. And he understands vengeance better than anyone. He doesn't underestimate Sou, who has outwitted him before, but he decides to accept the risk. Like Sou, Keiji has a ruthless will. I believe that one reason Keiji voted first was because he wanted to assure everyone that "your friendly policeman" would keep Sou in line. So even though Sara doesn't act afraid of Sou in this moment, Keiji is there to calm any hypothetical fears the Player has.
And Keiji commits to this role! In the beginning of Chapter 3, in the route where Kanna dies, the first thing Sou does is disturb the group peace. He puts on his "tough" mask and pretends that he never really cared about Kanna. In response, as everyone else is fidgeting nervously, Keiji laughs and calls out Sou on his bullshit. He eviscerates Sou emotionally, effectively putting Sou in his place and forcing him to be submissive, for now. It's Keiji's way of reminding Sou that they already know how weak he is, and Sou isn't going to get away with any tricks under Keiji's watch. Even if Sou's only "trick" in this case is to pretend he has any pride left.
From a storytelling perspective, I'm sure that these two will keep playing their power games, and Sou is likely to regain the upper-hand eventually. But from an in-universe perspective, Keiji looks like he knows exactly what he's doing in this scene, and Sou looks like a fool who better do what he's told. That is, if he doesn't want Keiji to skewer his heart in front of everyone again.
So where am I going with this?
My most generous interpretation of Keiji's vote is that he decided that Sou's life had value inasmuch as he could use Sou. After all, it's not like Keiji spared Sou out of compassion. Keiji just said that he hated Sou more than anyone he's ever known--and Keiji already killed someone else he hated. The harsher interpretation of Keiji's vote is that he fully expects Sou to die later due to his zero percent survival rate, which would make Kanna's presence technically more of a "threat" to Keiji's own survival. However, I prefer to think that Keiji was swayed by Kanna's brilliant defense of Sou's usefulness. That's because Keiji isn't a simple monster; he's a complex man who still wants to "serve and protect" the group...in his own way.
To follow in Keiji's footsteps and vote with "logic" means that Sara decides to trust Keiji's judgment. We know that Keiji is one of the smartest and strongest characters, in addition to being Sara's reliable ally. This is why I think it's still "logical" for Sara to save Sou in spite of his threats. Because Keiji is still there.
Conclusion
That's why framing the choice as one between "logic" and "emotion" works for me. I see it as a choice between two worldviews, one in which people are valued for their usefulness, and the other in which people are valued for their humanity.
I understand that the Player is going to have their own thoughts and feelings about this choice. Believe me, I was heartbroken too! I really wanted Sou to redeem himself and live. And I think Sara even feels the same way, since she pleads "Don't kill our ally!" when Safalin threatens Sou. It's still possible that Sou could redeem himself in the route where he lives, but I imagine it will be more important that the Player faces consequences for killing Kanna. But no matter what happens in Chapter 3, it doesn't change the fact that it looked possible in Chapter 2 for Sou's skillset to save everyone, and everyone was operating under that mindset.
I think that the writing in this game is stellar so I wanted to defend the story's framing. It surprised me to see folks who had reacted to it differently, but that's all part of the fun. It got me thinking about how interesting it is that the Player and Sara view things differently. It also got me thinking that what seems like a logical choice in the moment could feel like the wrong decision in hindsight.
Thanks for reading!
#yttd#your turn to die#sou hiyori#kanna kizuchi#sara chidouin#keiji shinogi#shin tsukimi#kimi ga shine#your turn to die spoilers#meta#mine#this is absurdly long haha sorry#sou and kanna#my meta
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conciliate
rated: PG-13; spoilers from Existence to MSIV.
Some time ago, @scully-loves-ruthie sent me a 5 Headcanon prompt in which Mulder makes an imaginary scrapbook for William while he and Scully are on the run.
This was actually the basic plot of a story I’ve wanted to write for a long long time so I was thrilled to receive it. I took some liberties with it and it ended up being very long (the rest is under the cut). I had several versions of this idea worked up already and decided to go with this one for a variety of reasons. I sort of rushed through the ending because I just couldn’t stand trying to perfect it any more. I hope it’s all coherent and doesn’t drag too much. I tried placing themes throughout and I hope they’re not convoluted or lost in all the prose. Thank you so much for this lovely prompt and for inspiring me to finally put this story together. I hope you enjoy it.
---
1. From under the last three weeks’ issues of the New England Journal of Medicine, stacked neatly on her coffee table, the grey and white striped corner sitting askew catches his eye. He runs his thumb across the smooth edge, nudges the journals aside, pauses. Welcome Little One the tidy cursive embossing reads above a small, grainy black and white sonogram inlaid to the cover. His fingers graze the image, he touches the letters.
A gift from Tara, Scully soon informs him as she comes in from the kitchen. His hand snaps back to his side, the ghost of the book’s lettering burning into his fingertips. He tries not to dwell on the shift in her eyes, the nearly imperceptible drop at the corners of her mouth.
He feels loose, untethered. Like he’s drifting. Like he just doesn’t fit anywhere anymore. Too many false awakenings while he was gone left him trying to reconcile nightmare and dream, fantasy and reality. He wanted to come home, wanted it so badly, but didn’t know how. He still doesn’t know.
They sit awkwardly, the steam from two tea mugs and her 32-week-round belly and a galaxy between them. It’s quiet.
2. He remembers the book some weeks after. After he declared his family as his Truth then shunned them in the same breath. (“It’s the only way to keep you both safe,” he’d tried to convince her, tried harder to convince himself. “I’m going to end this,” he said, his tongue tripping over tentative promises he only hoped he could keep.) After he wiped the tears from her cheeks and slipped from their bed. After he held his sleeping son to his chest and listened to his soft snores, felt the warm puffs of breath against his skin. After he kissed them goodbye. After he packed a suitcase with some clothes, some files, and a Dreft-and-William scented blanket and slipped quietly and away into the dewy morning.
The New Mexico desert sweltered on, dry and desolate, the answers he sought swallowed into the void. Answers to a Truth he was sick of seeking.
He misses them. Misses them so deeply in his bones that he can hardly feel anything else. He’s heard stories about amputees who can still feel their severed limbs, still feel the pain there. Phantom limbs. At once gone but somehow still there. It feels like that.
And he wonders if Scully has added to the book. He wonders if she even will. He knows she’s worried about him, terrified for them, but he hopes that their son can still have a babyhood as normal as possible. Joyous, carefree, full of love. He remembers finding his own baby book as a kid, and Samantha’s half finished one, reading through them with a fascinated nostalgia for memories of his childhood he couldn’t even recall. The pages filled with firsts, milestones, hopes and dreams. He spends his time between Truths imagining.
A photo of William in a onesie covered in rockets and planets and little cartoon aliens— ‘like father, like son.’ A satin blue ribbon, once tied around a gift from Maggie, tied into a bow and taped in with care. ‘3 months and getting so big! 14 pounds, 27 inches!’ Another picture— William in his bassinet, his eyes wide and twinkling like the desert stars.
...
The days, weeks, months drag. He keeps searching, forcing back the urge to run, run back home. He’s less and less resistant every day. Some days, he almost does it. Almost says fuck it all, come what may we’ll fight the future together, whatever the hell that even means anymore. But something he can’t identify, something he’s come to hate so viscerally, holds him back. He doesn’t know what else to do so he keeps searching. Keeps dreaming of his Scully, their William. He fills the imaginary pages of the real baby book with firsts that he won’t be there for. The firsts he’s sure he’s already missed.
Baby’s First Smile! Baby’s First Tooth! Baby’s First Word: ‘“Mama?” Actually, “more.” He’s a hungry boy! Like father, like son, indeed.
It’s what keeps him going. They are his strength, the drumbeats of his heart, the very essence of his life. He thinks it’s the only thing that keeps him sane, this unrelenting hope of hopes that he’ll see them again. That he’ll save them. Save them all.
3. He’s in a military prison when his son turns one. Baby’s First Birthday! He holds onto a little glimmer of hope, the only light in this dark dark place. The Truth will prevail, the conspiracy will be revealed. It has to. And he’ll be able to leave it all behind, to do what he’s so desperately wished to for so long now. To be free. To go home.
Skinner is the one to tell him. And his hope is crushed.
His brain mocks and taunts him.
Baby’s First Kidnapping! Baby’s First Cult! Baby’s First (Second, And Third) Near Death Experience! Baby’s First Plane Ride! Baby’s New Parents!
She held him. Kissed him. Said she was afraid he wouldn’t forgive her. Oh, Scully… no…
He wishes she would slap him. Hit him. Scream and yell at him. Hate him. Call him a selfish bastard. But instead her own forgiveness is soft and aching and so so tender. He clings to it, to her.
The only truth he learned, the only one that matters now anyway, is that he’s a guilty man. He’s failed in every respect. He deserves the harshest punishment for his crimes. All that they’d lost, all that he’d taken... And he– cowardly son of a bitch that he is– can’t even tell her what it was for. It will crush her, he’s sure. He’s terrified that she’ll finally see how he failed so completely, understand that her greatest sacrifices were for nothing. He hopes for her sake, and dreads for his own, that she will finally leave him. He wishes the earth would open up and engulf him in the hellfire he surely deserves– wonders briefly if he should just help the hellfire along– but he also knows his loss will irreparably break her and he just can’t willfully cause her any more suffering. He’s caused her enough heartache, more than anyone should face in one lifetime, but she still stands so strong against it. Refuses to believe his complicity. He slew the albatross yet she, as always, wore it around her neck as her burden to bear, the vicious stench of rot and ruin lingering as a reminder of his defeat.
She just holds him and whispers hope into his ear. He tries to believe.
4. They run and run and run. Months slip easily into years, days and weeks blurring in a haze of asphalt, sweat, bleached cotton sheets, and the improbable loneliness of their shared sorrow.
He begs her, guilt and desperation and so much love forcing him to ask, for stories of their son and she gives them to him, her eyes glistening with aching reverence as she speaks.
The habit he formed in the desert, while changed some through the years, still lingers.
Their son is two. He laughs and kicks when his belly is tickled. He never lets go of his favorite blanket. He calls his parents mama and daddy.
He just turned three. He talks in full sentences. He has a dog, big dog, named Comet that he tries to ride like a horse. He always loses his shoes.
He’s four. He had his first trip to the zoo. He had lemon ice for the first time and screwed his eyes shut at the tartness. He pressed his face against the aquarium glass and let his breath fog over the lionfish. He likes the gorilla enclosure. The hyenas scare him.
They look for him everywhere, in each redheaded and brunette little boy. She asks him once, wrapped up in him on a cold winter night in their new old house, if he thinks they would really recognize him. He admits that he struggles sometimes, trying to imagine their son as he ages, his only real memories of a squirmy, fresh, days-old newborn.
But then he remembers Samantha at 14, so different from the eight year old he knew yet somehow exactly the same, and says yes. He can’t exactly explain how he knew then (and realizes with a small prick of shame that he never really told her before) but he tries; the flutter and twist in his gut, his lungs constricting, chest tightening, heart hammering, blood pounding in his ears, one streaming thought– it’s her it’s her it’s her it’s her. Pure instinct. A muscle memory of the heart, the soul. She nods against his chest, satisfied for now, and he pulls her closer.
…
He always tries to tell her how sorry he is. He tries to tell her with words, with little pleading kisses to her shoulder as he spoons up behind her in bed. He tries and tries and tries but it never feels like it’s enough.
She assuages his guilt with gentle touches, soft moans, whispers of love and reassurance. (“He’s your son, too. You did what you could to protect him. To protect us.”) She tries, at least.
…
She studies, renews her license, and gets a job at a hospital, working pediatrics. He sees the joy it brings her, helping people, but beneath that he sees the hurt and longing. He wonders, somewhat absently, if she does it hoping one day to find their son admitted (for nothing dire, of course, perhaps just to set a broken arm or a routine tonsil removal). And then his mind wanders down a different path, old and overgrown and dark dark dark. Maybe she hopes to help these children the way she couldn’t with Emily.
He flashes to a life adjacent. Newborn William held in his big sister’s arms for the first time. Emily encouraging babytalk stories from her months old brother. Playing in parks. Climbing trees. Riding bikes. Barbecues. Birthdays. Christmases. Snow angels. Road trips. Pictures of them both unabashedly littering the house and their offices and wallets. He mentally shakes himself. That way, madness lies. He’s beginning to think madness lies everywhere.
…
The firsts keep coming, rushing in waves, trickling in droplets. They always hit him hard no matter what, these imaginings. The milestones and adventures he hopes his son is having.
First day of school. First little league practice. First time at the beach. First camping trip. First Big Kid Bicycle. He used to share the ideas with her and she used to smile, counter with a few ideas she’s had. But then he noticed how, as time continued on, she stopped smiling with the stories. How it offered less hope and more regret as the years went by.
Eventually, they talk about him less. And less. And less. Then they almost stop talking altogether.
5. She’s been gone for almost 6 months and he’s been gone much longer. The X-Files are re-opened and they’re suddenly thrust back into each other’s everyday. They don’t talk about the important things, just skirt around them, ducking behind file folders and cabinets and autopsy tables to avoid them. They’ve been free for nearly a decade but, he knows too well, old habits die hard and running has become their new normal.
But Maggie Scully’s death brings with it a clarity found only in the darkest of griefs.
Like her daughter, she had watched the weight of his guilt crush his spirit over the years. And, like her daughter, she had been unable to soothe him. But with her final breath, she tries again to ease his pain— always a mother, unwavering in her kindness, even as she stood at the precipice of beyond.
“My son’s name is William, too.”
They talk— really talk— for the first time in what feels like years. Maybe it has been. And suddenly, the dam bursts, the floodgates open, the emotions rushing forth in a wave of honesty and relief, and they finally finally step out of hiding. He stops making hollow promises, trades them instead for purposeful action. He finds renewed meaning in his work, his beliefs, his life. They try again.
…
Maybe for the first time in his life, he truly doesn’t want to believe. He wanted so badly for none of it to be true, she wanted the same, and he tried so hard to keep her from spiraling. But they both knew. He felt it the minute he laid eyes on him, knew she felt it too.
The heart pounding, the chest tightening, the blood rushing. It’s him it’s him it’s him it’s him.
Their son is 17. He lived in a typical two-story suburban house. He had parents who loved him, wanted the best for him. He admired Malcolm X and liked drawing and dabbling in the dark web. He collected snowglobes.
Their son is 17, and he’s dead.
His blood boils, his heart crumples, at the image of their son with a bloody hole in his temple, their son in a body bag. The guilt creeps back, despite Scully’s years-long efforts. How can he not blame himself? How can he ever believe he holds any claim to William– Jackson, he constantly forces himself to remember– after everything? She’s the one who carried him, felt him, held him, soothed his cries, let him go. He just ran.
…
He tries not to focus on himself. Instead, does what he can for Scully. Does everything he can to find Jackson, to protect him. The next few days rush by in a blur of instinct, adrenaline, and raw emotion.
He’s safe. Or as safe as he can be right now.
Later, much later, Scully asks him to stay with her. And in the dark, as it has always been, she soothes his worries, kisses away his pain. She’s not free, but she’s somehow lighter. Stronger than ever. He takes her light, takes her love and her strength, and pushes away from the brood of guilt constantly at his heels. They hold each other, tears of respite soaking their skin.
…
They try to live again after everything is over. After their son dies twice and resurrects himself. After that cigarette sucking bastard is cold and rotting. After burying the last of their friends. After putting away their guns and badges for good this time. After their daughter is born.
Baby books aren’t common practice anymore, most precious memories being stored in the digital stratosphere, but they decide to make one anyway. A new beginning, a new chapter. The pages fill, one by one, with photos, memories, firsts.
On the plain grey cover is a photo. Their weeks old daughter, fingers peeking out of soft blankets, watching her brother in wide-eyed wonder as he smiles down at her.
#wow i'm so sorry this is so absurdly long#and i'm so sorry it took so long to write#i really loved this propmt so much#and i kinda used it as an excuse to write out an idea i've had for a long time#that's why it's so ridiculously long and wordy haha#but i hop eyou enjoy it#can you tell how hard i tried to tie it all together at the end?#my writing#i guess this counts as my first full length publishing on here too#huh#and if anyone wants to send me more 5 hc prompts#bc you somehow enjoyed this#and don't mind possibly waiting a while lol#please send them along
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As i'm here now, gotta post this too !
✨Hermitcraft headcanon designs !✨ making a line up of every hermit as of S8
Part 2
I'm doing them in alphabetic order (according to nicknames), and at least two variants each, so here's the first three !
Bdubs: i imagine him as a nocturnal species who actually avoids nights, so his eyes work like cats to see better (he's also one of the smallest hermits, sorry) the knives and bandana came from his older skins (three deaths, fall damage, lava trap & sword kill)
Cleo: She seemed fun to draw with absurdly long hair so that's what i did x3 imagine if she never cut it, that how long she's been dead for haha she also wear brumble crown and forget-me-not
Cub: I didn't thought my design would look that neat haha I've prefer mixing his older and newer skins together (made this before he got back his lab coat so that's nice he has it now !) and i know irl young people with gray hair, so i wanted to keep that detail, the pharaoh was also real fun to draw
#i have two more parts but won't spam haha#prolly wil post one each day#tho the next updates after will be quite slower#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#bdubs#bdoubleo100#zombie cleo#zombiecleo#cubfan#cubfan135#third life smp#3rd life smp#reshie.art
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DREBLR FIC FINDER: INTRODUCTION
ever wanted to find a very specific c!dream fic but not been able to? ever wanted to browse a particular category of fics but struggled to manage ao3? or maybe you’ve just wanted an absurdly long list of dream smp fic recs that are sympathetic / not hateful on any character and haven’t been able to find one !
whatever the reason, look no further than HERE :D
more explained under the cut !
the idea is that you submit the title of your fic, the link, and the name of the author (and you can include more than that if you want!) and i will read it and make a little post on here summing up your fic and tagging it with specific tags so people on this blog can find it !!
this is specifically c!dream oriented but may also include fics with others as main characters where c!dream is also a main character :)
every day i’ll add a new fic or two to the blog that you can then scroll through and find your favourites :D i’ll add my personal favourites from ao3 / tumblr, and also the submitted ones you guys send !! it’ll be a nice way for us to have all dreblr fics in one place and a way for us to share each others’ writing :))
RULES
only dream smp / roleplay characters — NO IRL STREAMER CONTENT PLEASE 😅
keep it sfw obviously so everyone can read and bc i don’t wanna interact with nsfw haha
i don’t particularly like reading stuff with unsympathetic characters (that goes for the villains as well) !! even if you have a villain / antagonist, i don’t like character bashing or anything like that so won’t read any where c!q or c!tommy etc are written totally irredeemably, for example. having them play a more antagonistic role is of course cool and i’ll still add them anyway, I’m just not the biggest fan of them LMAO !! :o
if there are specific triggers for your fic you feel are necessary that i tag, please add them into your ask too !!
EXAMPLE OF A SUBMITTED FIC (yes i’m plugging my own fic sorry not sorry)
ADDITIONAL INFO
this is the part shown in the example above where you can add extra information about your fic !! for example, here are some things you could add in your ask / submission:
completed / in progress
stand-alone / part of a series
word count / chapter total
whose POV it’s from
your own tumblr / twitter / social media so people can compliment you on your writing !!!!
side characters
genre (angst, hurt/comfort/, fluff, crack, etc)
age rating (suitable for any audience?? mature audiences only ie. torture??)
trigger warnings
anything else you want to add !! ie. happy endings, if it’s romance, a brief summary, etc
i’ll lift a lot of the information from the fic wherever it’s been published (ao3 or tumblr or twt only pls not wattpad 👍) but if you have anything you wanna add that’s not specified on the site then go ahead :O
DON’T LET THIS FLOP IF IT DOES THEN YOU GUYS DIDN’T SEE THIS 😭
feel free to rb and spread the word and send in asks / submissions so i can get started straight away !!!!! :DD plug ur own writing unashamedly ur all awesome !!
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