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inkskinned · 11 months

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so one time i got bit by a brown recluse which is one of the only types of spider in my area that's actually dangerous and at first i didn't know what had happened to me, only that it was nasty. the swelling wasn't going down and the wound started to get ugly. i don't want to like get into the details because that's gross but it got to the point 2 weeks later that i was worried enough to go to the doctor, which i hate doing.

i am not afraid of spiders but other people are so i'd been covering it with this big ole square bandage (i needed more landscape coverage than a simple bandaid) and sat in the university medical waiting room, kicking my heels and playing BOTW. the nurse who admitted me was like, oh, we have got to get Tom to cover this one. she wrote spider bite under my ticket.

i waited in the near-empty building for like an hour and then nurse tom shows up in spiderman scrubs, out of breath. "sorry," he says, "i saw - your slip - and I had," he heaves in a breath, "to run home and. get. these scrubs. i literally. ran. felt like a job. for. spiderman."

i laugh. he puts his hands on his knees, thumbs-ups at me. fishes a pamphlet out from under his clipboard that basically says spiders can be scary but you don't need to be scared, there's very few dangerous spiders in new england. "honestly," he wheezes, "we probably don't need to get you into an exam room. just..." he waves his hand at the pamphlet, "read that."

i look down at my arm. then back at him in his scrubs. and then down at my arm. i like that he made an effort to make a joke, but now it does not feel like a good joke, because they are mistaking my calm for a lack of injury. "can i. like. at least show you the bite?"

he gives me kind of a weird look, which is fair, but then says. "if. i mean, if you have to."

i peel the bandage off. his face goes green.

"oh," he says.

"yeah, man."

"a... spider bit you?" his voice is high and tight and trembling. he backs up a few steps.

"i think a brown recluse," i offer. "i know it's nasty, sorry."

"excuse me for a moment." he looks over to the administering nurse on the other side of the small room. "i need to find someone else to take care of you."

the administering nurse smiles over to us with a degree of pleasure that is almost salivating. for a moment, like a window opening, i am briefly aware of what must be a psychic message floating amongst the in-between. her jaguar teeth all say this is like a party for me and i know exactly what i'm doing.

"oh no, tom," she says, grinning. "i gave her to you specifically."

#this is a real thing that happened #i then waited in an exam room for another hour until a doctor was similarly dismissive until he saw it #and then just gave me antibacterial cream which didn't help the swelling lol #it went away on its own like 4 weeks later #but that's like not the fun part of this story #i was just like. suddenly in the middle of someone else's work drama and GIRL #btw found this extremely funny #edit in the tags: oh ! i thought they were native to NE !!! ???? omg #i mean a real doctor really saw the wound and said ''brown recluse'' so i assumed he was right i never googled it #i lived on a mattress on the floor in a house of people who were always travelling #so like i guess it could have been ANY spider???#omg.....#the way this rocked my whole world

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atomicradiogirl · 2 months

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did everyone here know that jennifer morrison and jesse spencer dated for 3 years and got engaged (he proposed to her at the eiffel tower) and they broke off their irl relationship before cameron and chase broke up on the show lol

#house md #jennifer morrison #jesse spencer #allison cameron #robert chase #this is a real thing that happened

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mirkwoodest · 9 months

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You've heard of Barbie (2023) pink paint shortage, now get ready for Ravenous (1999) fake blood shortage.

#this is a real thing that happened #ravenous 1999

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tang0w0tek · 4 months

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my dad: nice patriotic colors!

Me, with light blue, pink, and white nail polish out: ah yes that's definitely what I was going for

#not an incorrect quote #transgender #this is a real thing that happened #fun fact my dad's transphobic but he doesn't know what the trans flag looks like #context: op is american

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rahleeyah · 8 months

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#this is a real thing that happened #not to me but I'm curious about other people's takes

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alarming-prism · 7 months

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hello I would like to get to know you better pls tell me one fun fact about you

hi thank you for the ask. when i was two years old i crashed a truck into a tree

#asks #personal shenanigans #this is a real thing that happened #yes it was a real automobile truck #yes i was fine #thank you for the ask!!

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thefloatingstone · 1 year

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This evening I was going to bed and then my dad said "hey you wanna see the UFOs?" and then we sat on the deck outside and looked at the UFOs

#text post #this is a real thing that happened

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earlymodernbarbie · 1 year

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If you guys ever think that libraries are exaggerating the book ban stuff, just know that a man came in yesterday (third time he’s done this while I’m working) and proceeded to shuffle and hide some children’s non-fiction while muttering how they were such “shit” books. The books in question? A Maya Angelou biography and a picture book about the March on Washington. This happened in New Jersey. So make of that what you will

#this is a real thing that happened #third time he’s done it too #last two times it was books about racism and lgbtqa+ stuff #please support your libraries #let them know you don’t support censorship of the materials #book banning #book bans #library #ron desantis #ron defascist #new jersey #republicans #conservatives are morally bankrupt

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fencesandfrogs · 6 months

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Sometimes I manage to process how insane parts of my life have been like yes I did have secret phone sex with my boyfriend who was sent to New York for the summer to keep him away from me while his Catholic older brother was having secret gay sex with his roommate in the same apartment

#mine #this is a real thing that happened #to me

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tparty1989 · 7 months

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and let me just say this: taylor and gracie singing i miss you, i’m sorry at the eras tour altered the course of my life. and i was not even at the show.

i woke up the next morning still drunk from the night before and cried in my bathroom watching the video.

#this is a real thing that happened #taylor swift #gracie abram’s #i miss you i’m sorry #i miss you #i’m sorry #the eras tour #i love you taylor

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chippedtoons · 1 year

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one time at camp when i was like thirteen i kept calling myself trash over literally everything and it got to the point where my counselor was genuinely worried and told me i needed to stop doing that because its self deprecating behavior but i was a stubborn bitch who refused to be bound by law and just called myself recycling all the time instead

#nova's posts #mk's posts #camp #this is a real thing that happened #not a shitpost

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atomicradiogirl · 5 months

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idk if i was gregory house and put in a mental hospital and my roommate was lin manuel miranda (something that actually happens in house md) i don’t think i would leave. i think i would actually get worse.

#house md #this is a real thing that happened #lin manuel miranda #he scares me #i think i would leave because i just couldn’t take it anymore #or i would get worse #house literally went to therapy #i can’t even

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the-dashing-mx-ollandre · 2 years

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impresding the cool british girl at my school who somehow listens to the mechanisms with my ability to sing gassed last night and tim goes crazy

#the mechanisms #this is a real thing that happened

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tlaquetzqui · 1 year

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My sister: Who hurt Japan? Why are they so good at horror?

Me: The yōkai did? Haunted-ass archipelago.

Sister: Then, like, why don’t they leave?

Me: Well it’s their haunted-ass archipelago.

#this is a real thing that happened #anthropology #kind of

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epersonae · 1 year

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the phrase "that's somebody's something" came up in voice chat with @emi--rose, and tbh it's one of those phrases that just stuck with me from TAZ Balance, and I couldn't remember if it was Griffin or Justin, so @tazscripts time!

Justin: Uh, and he’s also restrained. He can use his action to uh, to make a strength or dexterity check against my spell save DC. On a success, you free yourself.

Griffin: Okay, Jesus. That is brutal. Okay.

Justin: He’s restrained by beautiful ebony tentacles. [Griffin wheezes]

Clint: They’re stroking the length of his body.

Griffin: Oh, that’s somebody’s something, innit? That’s somebody’s baby.

Justin: Everything is somebody’s something.

(episode 36, Crystal Kingdom part 8)

#and by 'somebody'...#ANYway #this is also the encounter in which Clint says 'hentai' on the podcast with his actual human mouth #and ALSO in which one of the main canonical ships is introduced #with tentacles #yup #this is a real thing that happened #taz balance

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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