#this is a comparison of the impact and meaning the very same situations have when you're a child and when you're old | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

schtrawberry · 1 month

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[3] personal astrology observations

[!] this is mostly an introspective view into my chart; in no way, shape, or form am i saying that any of this is fact or set in stone, nor am i saying that i am a professional astrologer. these are just presences that exist within my chart that i've felt manifest themselves in real life. simply put, take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

— the observation that venus in the 9th house and sagittarius mars natives are far more likely to be attracted to foreigners and/or meet their future partner/s in a foreign country is true!

[nothing, just felt like confirming, esp as someone w both these placements 🤭 like, i honestly am more likely to be approached (in a romantic setting) by a foreigner both in-person and online!]

═ sun square neptune is the aspect of daydreamers. they're always thinking about an idealized version of the future or dwelling on the past. rarely do they ever think in the present. it is often easier for them to drift off into a daze either thinking about what could have been or everything that could be.

☰ chiron in fifth house indicates pain associated with creative passions and self-expression. one may have had negative experiences that have led them to feel insecure about these aspects of life; thus leading them to distance themselves from openly expressing themselves creatively. they may take great care to keep their works of art private, tone down certain parts of their personality, and may even feel ashamed to explain themselves when others ask them about certain aspects of their creative and self-expression because of negative feedback they could have gotten in the past.

but with such pain comes empathy and understanding. once developed, these natives are the first to take notice and are the fastest to lend a sensitive ear as well as a supportive hand as soon as they see others going through the same struggle.

☱ sun-lilith in harsh aspects might have been told to cover up more by both peers and grown-ups, even when wearing "acceptable" clothing when they were kids. this placement can indicate an individual that was more sexualized from a young age, which can lead to them either being hypersexual or overly-reserved sexually in adulthood.

☲ lilith in the 7th house can indicate an individual that struggles to commit and open up about who they are to their partner/s. people with lilith in this house may have had bad experiences with marriage (perhaps witnessing bad divorces or tumultuous long-term relationships between their parents) and therefore might be turned off by the thought of marriage and/or long-term partnerships.

and though this doesn't mean that the native will be a lone soul forever, it does make one more likely to have these sort of relationships at a significantly older age in comparison to other signs.

[tw: mention of domestic violence in my personal experience, i have witnessed my parents go through an incredibly bad separation (tons of emotional abuse, infidelity, and a situation actually involving domestic violence) which has honestly made me quite hesitant to get married, even as i approach my mid-20s.]

☴ the cancer rising urge to cry when someone you care about is crying or in distress in general.

☴ a few asteroid notes:

note: asteroids are less impactful to one's personality, physicality, etc. compared to personal planets. they tend to only be relevant to one's chart if they are either in a tight orb (0-1°) or have major aspects to personal planets, preferably conjunctions or oppositions.

✢ messalina (545) known as the most promiscuous woman in rome, empress messalina is still recognized today as a symbol of uncontrolled, violent, irrational, and impulsive behavior. this asteroid reminds me very much of lilith in that it is representative of dark feminine energy and having this prominent in one's chart can be indicative of an individual that is not afraid to use their sexuality to their advantage or to create harm unto others in different aspects of their lives, but especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships.

✢ anagolay (3757) is an potentially hazardous asteroid named after anagolay, the tagalog goddess of lost things and the daughter of the hermaphroditic goddess of seasons, lakapati. she is culturally-recognized for her ability to find not only physical objects but also abstract possessions like lost opportunities and faded memories. having this prominent in one's chart can suggest an individual that is very in-tune with cycle of nature and the subsequent passage of time. they may be more sensitive to bouts of nostalgia where they dwell on things that could have been and the way that things were. may also just indicate a person that is hypersensitive to losing physical things, though.

[`] film: go (2001) dir. isao yukisada

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saintsenara · 1 month

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Oooo thoughts on remus/james? :0

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

my preferred version of the marauders' dynamic is that james is the central figure in each of their lives [and that, without him, peter, remus, and sirius don't... automatically gel] and absolutely integral to each of their senses of self.

which means that, when it comes to shipping them, i am very much of the opinion that james potter and his three boyfriends is canon.

but i also think that there's a subtle difference in each of the marauders' platonic relationship with james, which would impact how any romantic relationship with him functioned.

and with wolfbucks i think you have - in comparison to prongsfoot, which is so rampantly codependent, and to wormbucks, which will be influenced by the resentment and jealousy of james which must lurk under peter's outward affection for him - a relationship in which a constructed, flawless version of james is worshipped by remus and the james who actually exists is never approached by his friend as a real person.

we see this in canon - that, while sirius' grief for james feels more visceral and raw than remus', sirius is also able to acknowledge the reality of james much more openly, while remus chafes against the idea that he might have had any negative characteristics at all. remus is the person who dismisses the tension between snape and james as snape's jealousy of james being talented and sexy in prisoner of azkaban; when harry confesses having seen his father being a bully in snape's worst memory, sirius who cops to their behaviour, while remus attempts to protect james from harry's anger.

i think there's something really interesting which can be done with the idea of remus' adoration of a perfect james who doesn't really exist having to careen headfirst into the reality of james as a human boyfriend, with all of the accompanying faults and flaws, that could either be really toxic or genuinely moving if an author wanted to take it in either direction.

but i think there's also something really interesting in the idea that james would want to maintain the flattering image of himself which remus had invented, and that he would, therefore, go out of his way to indulge remus' more straightforwardly negative characteristics in order to maintain his status in his lover's eyes.

[i do, in fact, think that this characteristic - in terms of wolfbucks' platonic relationship, at least - is canon. remus' shock in deathly hallows when harry is furious at the suggestion that he might just walk out on his pregnant wife and unborn child heavily implies to me that james would have just said "yep. do what you want, king" in the same situation...]

and so, while i would certainly say that wolfbucks would be much more deeply rooted in artifice in prongsfoot... i can't say the potential for total mess it contains doesn't compel me...

and it certainly compels me more than wolfstar.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #wolfbucks #remus lupin #james potter

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yuikomorii · 6 months

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As a Laito stan, I’m sick of people constantly hating on his HDB and judging his other stans based on that. Yeah, yeah, his route was challenging but not that traumatising. Diabolik Lovers will contain Diabolik lovers no matter what and it was the fricking first game. I still fell for this man there, he had a type of wicked charm that made my heart flutter somehow and I’m sure other Laito stans can agree with me on this one.

// I feel like out of all characters, Laito is the only one who did justice to the “Diabolik Lovers” title, and that’s why Japanese fans had no problem with his route. The other guys were bratty and mean but not diabolical, if it makes sense. Everyone seemed so tame in comparison to Laito (even Kanato despite his fork scene) because unlike him, they were shown to know when to stop so as not to genuinely break Yui and/or felt guilty if they did something really bad to her throughout their routes.

Even if Yui breaks in his route at some point, I wouldn’t say she turns out that bad in the end. I mean, I doubt anyone could remain completely sane in that situation but it could have been way worse, lol. In a way or another, she sort of got her Happy Ending with Laito, that’s why imo his whole HDB wasn’t really that terrible? People who listened to his first CD before playing the game must have known what they were getting themselves into, so I guess that’s why his route didn’t come off as very shocking. However, I can’t deny that it contains some very uncomfortable scenes, yet I wouldn’t say it’s the most painful DL route or thing ever created by Rejet.

Let’s not forget that in MB time got rewinded and HDB was basically erased. If HDB truly followed the same course of events as the other games, I would have understood the Laito slander, but it doesn't. His actions there have no impact on the story, and it irritates me when people judge a character based on something that was written more than ten years ago and that doesn’t change anything at all.

#admin

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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Forgive me if this was done incorrectly. I am new to Tumblr, but it’s a learn as you go thing I suppose 😂

I’ve been curious about books that have the characters learning or reacting to the actions or events that occur in their stories. I’m in the process of planning to write one, but have stumbled into a small road block. I’ve read some of your other takes on similar topics and believe that hearing (or reading) it from you might show me the right path to take.

I have no idea if this was previously requested, but what is your take on Madam Yu? How do you view her actions in response to Wang Lingjiao’s demand of Wei Wuxian’s punishment for the events of Xuanwu Cave? What is your opinion on her treatment of Wei Wuxian after Jiang Fengmian brings him back to Lotus Pier?

I understand that one’s opinions, experiences, and values can impact how her actions look, but there are some fics that defend her actions and some that label it as abuse. In the case of calling it abuse I have even encountered several people who call it a western view, where the slightest insult or injury seems most detrimental to a person’s overall ability to function or cope. I didn’t really understand what was being referenced when I read that particular part of the post, but maybe it’s something I have no experience with.

I, of course, have my own opinion on this matter, but I find that sometimes my opinion can be quite flawed. I am in no way able to draw a conclusion on this as I would be deciding on how I present her character based on my opinion rather than what lies written in text. For such a problem I believe that two opinions (or more) might be more trustworthy.

Nothing to apologize for, it just always takes me a bit longer to get to these asks that need an essay to respond. I'd rather take the time to think it through and consider my answer before writing one out.

I have only been asked about Madam Yu once before, I get a lot more asks about her son rather than her. Since you've sent me a really good ask for breaking things down, instead of being sassy or snarky, I'll try to keep as level a head as possible about one of my least favorite characters.

Cut for discussions about abuse, physical, mental and emotional

Yu Ziyuan is one of the most unpleasant characters in all of MXTX's works, completely lacking in redeeming traits and actions that can be defined as anything but abusive. She is the viper in the den, she's the poison of Yunmeng Jiang, she's the person who takes the least responsibility for any of her misery and MXTX never minces words about her.

Her actions in the face of Wang Lingjiao's demands are atrocious and shortsighted, both in that she's very happy to whip Wei Wuxian worse than he can ever recall her doing before getting ready to cut off his hand, only stopping when Wang Lingjiao steps "above her station" as Madam Yu sees it. She does not consider any possible way to handle the situation aside from whatever feeds and hurts her pride, making her an easy target for the Wen to lure her into drawing first blood. The only decent choice she makes is sending Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian out of Lotus Pier when it's clear that there's a battle that Yunmeng Jiang will be on the losing side of, and I literally do mean it's the only decent choice she makes. Not good, just decent.

Her treatment of Wei Wuxian is absolutely atrocious. From constantly slandering both of his parents in the same breath, to trash talking him and constantly insulting him to insult her own children, to straight up whipping him for such transgressions as...being too hot on a hot summer day to be fully dressed. For comparison, Lan Wangji straight up had to commit treason to be whipped and it was a one time event. Wei Wuxian mentions being whipped two to three times at a time and sent to kneel in the ancestral hall for hours until Jiang Fengmian would let him out. He's whipped so often that he just shrugs it off. And he's the only one in Lotus Pier treated like that, the younger disciples tease him for taking all the blows for them.

There is no way that her treatment of him can be justified. She invents the fantasy of Wei Wuxian possibly being Jiang Fengmian's bastard to hurt her husband and children because she is an angry person. She doesn't care who or why or what she says, only that she is forever angry at her life and punishes everyone else for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Jiang Fengmian taking in an orphan as a disciple. We see that in several other clans that there are people who join without being directly connected to the main family, that the Great Clans are hundreds of people large, possibly even thousands. One child is not an unusual event in the slightest.

I can't say why people want to defend her, why they want to claim her treatment of the children under her care is acceptable. I'm sure some of it is a need to protect themselves from the realization that the behavior of some figure like her in their lives is not okay and they shouldn't have to live with it. That it is abusive to be constantly degraded and insulted, to be constantly shamed for not meeting impossible standards, to be struck for such things as talking out of turn or simply existing when someone is angry. Even in the book itself, Yu Ziyuan stands out from every other parental figure barring her own son in how she treats... well the three of Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian in specific, but in general everyone.

I have friends who are both far more qualified than I am to talk about south and east asian media, but they have kindly told me about shifts in some media, because there's also a shift in cultural mores where the treatment is being put under the lens and people are starting to question the nature of such treatment. MXTX is one of these people, her works clearly do look at abuse and the cycle of abuse as things to be addressed, and the cycle of Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling lay out the cycles of abuse and chosing to end them really starkly in Modaozushi. There is perhaps much more to be said on the levels of how people also treat those who are ranked lower in society than they are and how this also influences Yu Ziyuan's actions and treatment of everyone, but I think I am perhaps not the right person to do so.

As for the post you are referencing having seen, I have never seen this post myself (and hope to never see it as abuse apologia is never a pleasant thing to read) but I think there's a stark difference between say when Wei Wuxian hits Jin Ling on the shoulder in the Guanyin Temple after they get him away from the garrotte hold that Jin Guangyao has him trapped in, where first he hugs him very tightly before slapping his shoulder and scolding him to "not stand close to dangerous people!" and Yu Ziyuan hitting Wei Wuxian with Zidian for various transgressions that are never specifically laid out nor contain any attempt at helping Wei Wuxian to grow. Her actions contain nothing constructive or useful about them, it is just to let out her anger and cause pain.

I understand your doubt in your own opinion here, especially with some of the 'meta' and 'explanations' floating around in the fanbase, but I hope that I can lay it out clearly enough to remove doubts.

I wouldn't even call Yu Ziyuan an antagonist, she is straight up a villain. She is an abuser and a cancer to her own home. She abuses children, she abuses her husband and MXTX does not exonerate her in the slightest. Her every appearance directly makes the scene worse. The omniscient narrator is very clear that her anger has no sense or rational behind it, that she just gets angry and wants to hurt people. She poisons her son, she poisons her daughter and she tortures Wei Wuxian. She has no redeeming qualities and the fact that both CQL and the donghua decided to add a soft side that she did not have makes me very angry. Her son has far more redeeming traits than she does and it's still only enough to raise him up to antagonist, she is that terrible.

There is literally no positive action that she takes or kind word that she says. Even to the bitter end, she is filled with hatred, the scum of the earth that crawled her way onto the earth up from hell by clinging to the lotuses. Everyone in Lotus Pier would have been better off if she'd either never married in or died before she had time to poison everyone with her anger.

#mdzs #yu ziyuan #wei wuxian #canon jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yunmeng jiang #asks #anon #anon asks #tw abuse #there is no defending her #she is a villain through and through #and her actions are inexcusable

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crystalelemental · 10 days

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I remember reading about you saying something about the lack of IVs and EVs in Nexomon but now I can't find the post;;

Would you say it's a bad or a good thing?

That's correct! Nexomon does not have EVs or IVs or natures. Essentially, two of the same species of Nexomon at the same level have the same stats and access to the same moves. They are functionally identical. Whether that's good or bad depends on your stance on things. I'll go over it bit by bit under the cut:

In Pokemon, if you pick your Bulbasaur starter, you have to immediately contend with both a nature and the set IVs in each stat. Depending on what's rolled, your Bulbasaur may perform better or worse throughout the run. Those starting factors can have an impact on how it operates. Having this variance means no two playthroughs are exactly the same, because your stats are going to change how well certain options will work.

By contrast, if you pick Petril in Nexomon 1, it is the same every time. You know exactly what you picked, and every playthrough you use it, it will perform the same. There's no variance. This could be seen as kinda limiting to replayability, depending on your stance on its importance. It also means there's no reason not to just trade out something you have for a later catch at a higher level if it's the same species. Which can make it less about cherishing your specific monsters, in a way.

But on the other hand, depending on the Pokemon, variance is a huge problem. Bulbasaur can kinda get away with deciding between Adamant or Modest, you know what I mean? Hell, it can operate with Bold or Impish, or even Timid or Jolly. Flatlined stats worked in its favor. But something like Abra? Roll an Adamant and experience something that's just objectively worse for no reason. IVs are similar. Very little in the games really necessitates 31s in each stat, but rolling 0s? I had a Platinum run with a Piplup that had 0 in both offenses and speed. It was constantly outsped, and couldn't OHKO a Geodude two levels below it at the start of the game with Bubble.

While you never strictly need to concern yourself with the factors involved in Pokemon, I personally argue that most of them exist to be more of a burden than a boon, especially as new generations introduce more and more min-maxing of base stats. IVs only hinder when they roll too low. Natures effectively have four beneficial options, and at least eight that are devastating. Statistically, things are more likely to go badly for the player than positively.

I think there's something to be said for standardization. You don't even have to consider things beyond catching what you want to catch. It does mean that there's no way to power up weaker options that way...at least in the first game. Extinction has cores, which can be used to increase stats, and those are pretty flexible to use with whoever. They're percentage-based, so it's kind of a "rich get richer" situation like Z-moves were, but I didn't encounter much in Extinction that felt like...unusable, you know? That's a whole other post, but your moveset is just what you learn naturally, and as a result, type matchup is wildly more significant, and every tool operates well if you're using it where it can function. In comparison to Pokemon, where movepool bloat through TMs and egg moves have resulted in it being borderline impossible to work a type resistance in your favor.

Anyway, the short answer is I prefer it. It makes the game a lot more streamlined for me. But I'm also a lunatic who resets for Pokeon natures I want regardless of the game's difficulty.

#nexomon #nexomon extinction

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intersex-support · 1 year

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I've started grappling with and trying to accept the idea that I am intersex, and just never knew my whole life. Its so vividly painful. Especially trying to know what it may mean for me being trans. Do you how to deal with intersex related trauma? Its difficult to process because gender dysphoria is a large factors influencing how I feel.

I'll add more context here. I'm amab. I am transfem. I think that I have some form of AIS (either partial or mild, im still figuring that out) the best way I can explain my situation is my 1st puberty was much lesser than lets say a cis man for comparison. My body hair has always been thinner and slow growing, I have always been shorter (5'6), I have a curvy figure. (I fully have wide hips and I'm almost certain I've had very small breast buds ever since I was young. My actual chest has always been a bit bigger) I've had far less muscle than most cis men. I have very feminine facial features and have been told I pass without makeup or anything. For as long as I can remember my ejaculate has always been very clear (I suspect I may be infertile, though I've never gotten it tested) my genitals don't seem to have developed at all of the same rate or in the same way as a cis mans. Mine are smaller compared to others. I suspect they may not have ever "fully grown" so to speak. Im not lacking anything or have anything extra.(sorry for genital talk!) I just feel very lost.

Thank you so much

Hi anon 💜

Dealing with intersex related trauma can be so, so difficult, and I'm glad you reached out. I think based on what you shared about your body and puberty that it makes a lot of sense that you think you might be intersex. Those experiences of having different traits than your peers, or going through puberty in a way that was different than you expected, can be really complicated experiences even if we don't feel negative about our body or those traits. It can be emotionally exhausting when we look back through our childhood and analyze our body and experiences to try to put the pieces together and figure all of it out, so I just want to affirm that it's totally okay if you're feeling lost and overwhelmed right now.

It's okay to take things at whatever pace feels right to you. You're the same person that you've always been, even if now you're figuring out new information about yourself and what that means for you. You don't have to change anything about the way you identify or how you move through the world, but it's okay if you do feel like being intersex is impacting your life in a new way. I know I felt really, really confused and was really lost about how being intersex impacted my gender. I felt like I had failed at something, and didn't know if I could still identify as a trans man because I felt like I had never really been "AFAB," in the first place, and I just didn't know what it could look like to be trans and intersex at the same time. But there really are no rules and no right way to do this. I eventually came to really feel secure in my identity as someone who was both intersex and trans. My dysphoria comes from both places, my intersex body feels natural and right, and my trans identity reflects my experiences of growing up one way and then embracing my transition. There's no right way to think or feel about any of this, but know that there are so many trans and genderqueer intersex people out here and that you are absolutely not alone. You can be both trans and intersex and live as both fully.

It really helped me to talk to other intersex people and explore the intersex community. I know that other intersex people have saved my life-the connection and love I've found in the intersex community is really beautiful. If that's something you're interested in exploring, Interconnect used to be the AIS support group and now runs a support group for all intersex people. And if you send an ask off anon, I can send you a link to our intersex discord if that's something you're interested in.

I think something else that helped me to deal with intersex trauma and the process of intersex discovery was just to give myself permission to take things as slow as I needed to and experience all these feelings without shame. Sorting through my feelings around some intersex trauma took years, and a lot of journaling and talking to intersex people and trying to put words to experiences. I didn't feel proud or like I loved my intersex body for so many years, but being in intersex spaces where people were sharing those feelings was something that was so helpful for me. So whatever your journey looks like-whether you want to seek medical involvement right away, whether you want to go through self reflection, whether you want to jump right into community spaces-any of that is so valid.

And I just want to affirm that it's okay if it all feels incredibly painful right now, and at the same time I really truly believe it will not be this painful forever, and I want you to have access to some of that hope. I felt so terrible about being intersex at first and didn't think I could ever feel okay about it, but day by day it started to feel more natural and beautiful and right, and it started to make more sense the way it fit into my life.

Here's a bunch of random resources in case you're interested:

Intersex Variations Glossary

Intersex Organizations

XOXY memoir about living with AIS

Truly sending so much love and solidarity, and feel free to reach out with any questions, if you just need to vent, if you need help navigating the medical side of things--literally anything.

Best wishes 💜💜💜

#intersex #actuallyintersex #ais

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hyperfixated-homo · 8 months

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CAN I HAVE MORE INFO ON MIKEY AND LEO’S EXPERIENCES

I love Mikey’s trope being the last girl standing and psychological horror is very yummy

HIHIHIHIHI yes absolutely you can have more info on their experiences :)

I do not want to spoil too much about the actual events that they go through (unless people ask. smile) but i can give some little bits of their stories!

For Mikey (the final girl ever)

He and Raph are the only two who fully remember their respective genres' experiences. However, they did also go through very different experiences

All of them went through multiple different "storylines" but Mikey and Donnie go through an entire universe reset when their storyline restarts (in comparison, Leo and Raph go through multiple storylines in the same universe with the same people)

This means that Mikey has seen multiple alternate universes! He's seen several versions of his friends, several versions of killers, he's seen dystopian worlds and older ones and he's been in a million different places.

He would appreciate it more if he wasn't being chased down in every universe. And every time, he feels a bit upset that his brothers aren't with him, because he knows that they would probably LOVE to see some of the things he's seen

Mikey was the one who triggered the leave sequence. Technically, he was the one who let them out.

As mentioned before, Mikey has made friends in his genre-verse! I'm considering adding both some mutants and humans from other tmnt versions to this au, and most of them will be seen in Mikey's universe probably.

Including: Mondo gecko, Leatherhead, Mona Lisa, and more :))

Mikey went into his universe when he was 11. He came out at age 13, freshly a teenager. Since he was so young, this experience has SEVERLY impacted how he thinks about things

For Leo (my beloved little fucked up boy)

Most of his time in his universe was spent in the "lair", practically being tortured mentally.

He remembers some of it, doesn't remember other parts, completely makes up some things, and generally has weird memories about That Whole Situation.

There were moments when Leo would get to another place. Sometimes it was unrecognisable, but usually, it was familiar. Familiar but twisted

Like an abandoned (?) park at night, or a rooftop that he and his brothers used to frequent often, or a pool that he haden't been to in a while.

He really hated going to these places. Often because he would end up there alone (not entirely. never entirely. there were other things there watching him he swears) and sometimes it felt like days before he could see his "family" again.

With this in mind, the Leo that came out of his genreverse doesn't like to go outside much. ESPECIALLY not alone.

Also more general things: "Splinter" and "April" are in his genre too. They're less fucked up than his brothers but. Definately not normal.

Leo gains some new fears after living there for two years. A fear of heights and a fear of the dark being two of them.

Sometimes he would enter The Void as a means of escaping his problems. He could never stay there long (his brothers would never let him) but it helped sometimes. He goes back there nowadays, when everything reminds him too much of There

This ended up being more general headcanons about them, sorry ansdjd. I ADORE questions about my horror au btw, so MUCH THANK for asking!!!

#im sorry for answering this so late #school is annoying #anyways i hope you like it!!#rottmnt horror au #rottmnt #tmnt #slasher!mikey #psych!leo #leonardo #michaelangelo #ty for the ask!

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heartofstanding · 1 year

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Hi, I had some thoughts regarding the marriages of Elizabeth Woodville, Eleanor Cobham and Katherine Swynford that you'd mentioned; I'm unsure if any of them make sense, and I love your blog very much, so I wondered what you'd think :)

Like you mentioned, neither Katherine nor Eleanor were queen, and neither John of Gaunt nor Humphrey of Gloucester were Kings (from what I understand, Humpfrey was currently third in line with the expectation that Henry VI would have heirs) which in my opinion drastically affects the comparison. While that doesn't negate their respective scandals, it did mean that Joun and Humphrey had - comparatively - greater freedom, reduced risk and an overall lesser impact when it came to their choice in their marriages. And neither Katherine nor Eleanor were their first wives - in Katherine's case, John already had several children - so there's that as well. In Edward IV's case, he was an usurping King with no legitimate children who married Elizabeth as his first wife in a prioritization over a political alliance; in his case, the stakes and the impact clearly seem to have significantly more weight - and does make me genuinely wonder what he was thinking when he made his decision lol.

This is more speculative, and not really relevant as its more personal, but I guess there's also the fact that we don't know if John of Gaunt or Humphrey would have made the same choice had they actually been Kings. I mean, I personally believe that they would have, but the necessity of a diplomatic and political match would have been significantly higher if they were on the throne, and so that speculation is always open; whereas in Edward IV's case, we explicitly know what he chose.

So I guess it's ultimately difficult to compare Elizabeth Woodville with Eleanor or Katherine, although some elements were obviously similar, as the situation and the stakes were far too different.

Hi, anon and thank you!

You're right that it's difficult to compare Elizabeth Woodville's experiences with anyone else's. The circumstances in which she became queen are in many ways unique to her life and times, as are the circumstances in which she found herself in as queen. Plus, having been the first English queen since the conquest and the first queen to be drawn from the lower gentry, there is no exact analogue to be found, either in the queens that preceded or followed her.

It's still worthwhile to look at parallels between Elizabeth and other women because while there is no 1:1 comparison to make, they do tell us about how she would have been viewed by her contemporaries, how she might have approached becoming queen and the various problems that followed, and how her queenship might have been formed.

I think you can argue, for example, that Elizabeth's queenship was formed in direct reaction to Margaret of Anjou's (and I believe some queenship scholars do argue this, I just can't find any offhand). Lynda J. Pidgeon also draws comparisons between the attacks on Margaret and Elizabeth's reputation. Gemma Hollman also makes the case that Jacquetta of Luxembourg and Elizabeth's responses to the allegations of witchcraft against them were informed by the allegations against Joan of Navarre and Eleanor Cobham, and this may have led to them avoiding the same fate as Eleanor.

Eleanor and Katherine Swynford aren't perfect comparisons but as women of the minor gentry who rose to the highest echelons of their society (and were, for a time, the highest-ranked women in England), they would serve as examples for Elizabeth to learn from. You can also see the progression from one to the other. Katherine was unlikely to become queen on her marriage and her children unlikely to inherit their father's lands and titles, much less the throne, but it became a distinct possibility for Eleanor and her (hypothetical) children would inherit their father's lands and titles and quite possibility the throne, while Elizabeth did become queen and her children would inherit the throne (and did, briefly, in Edward V's case). I also suspect that Eleanor's downfall was related in some way to anxiety (her own and/or others) about the possibility of her becoming queen.

I could keep listing women where it would be interesting and useful to compare to Elizabeth. But that would get really long and unwieldy and there is no one who directly compares to Elizabeth's circumstances, which is what you seem to really be after. You could probably make an argument that Anne Boleyn is a closer comparison - English-born minor gentlewoman accused of bewitching the king into marrying her - but the circumstances of her relationship with Henry VIII and her downfall have little in common with Elizabeth and Edward IV.

I've got to be honest and say I'm not the most well-informed on Elizabeth, Edward or the Yorkist phase of the Wars of the Roses, so feel free to take or leave everything I can say about their marriage.

Love, or its less prosaic cousin, desire, is frequently asserted as the reason Edward married Elizabeth. He could not face the prospect of marrying someone else (or the possibility of her marrying someone who was not him). Since the legend of their meeting tells us she refused to have sex with him unless it was as his wife, desire, or lust, may have been the paramount emotion, rather than love, but it may not have been. Although the marriage was clandestine*, it does us little credit to imagine it as a coldly ambitious Elizabeth holding out for a ring and Edward befuddled by lust enough to marry her. Edward was young, handsome, and flush with victory, with the world lying at his feet. But he was likely well aware that by marrying Elizabeth, he was making her queen. Perhaps he did not think of the controversy or problems that Elizabeth becoming queen could cause; perhaps he did but believed they didn't matter, either from a romantic sensibility or a belief that the advantages of making Elizabeth his queen would outweigh the problems.

The other frequently asserted reason for their marriage is the belief that Elizabeth seduced, bewitched, enchanted or otherwise schemed her way into the marriage. As I said, it does no one credit to imagine Edward as befuddled or compelled by magical means into marrying Elizabeth. He was the king, the most powerful man in England. This sort of narrative is very common when relating to women of lower social status who had sexual relationships with high-status men; we find similar narratives about Alice Perrers and Edward III, Joan of Kent and Edward the Black Prince, Katherine and Gaunt, Eleanor and Humphrey, Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII. It might be true in Elizabeth's case, it might be true in any or all of these cases, but it seems more likely it was a common misogynist and classist smear that absolved the high status man from responsibility and placed it solely on the more vulnerable woman. This type of narrative has tended to gain currency in Ricardian circles that have a vested interest in denigrating Elizabeth Woodville.

There may have been other factors involved.

For Edward, the marriage may have represented an association or alliance with a prominent Lancastrian family. It seems a bit of a stretch to imagine this as a forerunner to the union of Lancaster and York in Henry VII and Elizabeth of York; but it's worthwhile remembering that Jacquetta of Luxembourg was the widow of John of Lancaster, Duke of Bedford. Bedford had been popular, a man who was seen to be above factions, a steady hand whose presence was sorely missed in his absence, and responsible for much of the gains made in France after the death of Henry V. He was also Henry V's brother. As such, Jacquetta represented a tangible connection to the glory days of Henry V and his now-dead but still popular brothers, and Edward might have wanted to exploit that connection (Richard, Duke of York did similarly, presenting himself as Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester's political heir and exploiting the public discontent at Humphrey's treatment and sudden death). Secondly, by marrying Elizabeth, Edward was tying the Woodville family to him. Richard Woodville seems to have been pretty well-respected military figure and it was to Edward's advantage to have him on York's side. But even if this was in part motivation for Edward and Elizabeth's marriage, it cannot be the full explanation. If an alliance was all Edward was after, he could achieve that through marrying one of his brothers to Elizabeth or one of her sisters - a match that would still be controversial but not as controversial as his decision to marry Elizabeth. Yet he chose to be the one who married Elizabeth.

Another factor may have been Jacquetta's connections to the Burgundian court. Edward may have already been considering that he would rather ally with Burgundy against France than with France, and he may have believed that Jacquetta's connections would help him forge a deeper connection. But we come back to the same problem as above: if this was his main aim, marrying one of his brothers into the Woodville family would've achieved the same.

It is also possible that Elizabeth's lower status was part of the appeal. There were no overt foreign ties to consider, no xenophobic stereotypes that would be stamped upon her or her retinue - this may have been particularly important while Yorkist propaganda made much of Margaret of Anjou's French birth and connections. What was being said about Margaret being more loyal to France than to England could easily be adapted to attack Bona of Savoy.

There was also the financial aspect. The last three queen-consorts had been granted a massive dower of 10,000 marks p.a. that England could scarcely afford and indeed did struggle to pay at times. The English court could not risk lowering the dower payment for a new foreign queen as it would be seen as an insult, as though the prospective bride was seen as lesser than previous queens. However, Elizabeth's English birth and comparatively lower status meant that such an issue wouldn't apply - you could say it would be expected that her dower would be lower than a foreign noblewoman or princess - and some strain would be taken off the treasury.

Finally, there is also the possibility Edward saw his marriage as a chance to assert his independence from the Earl of Warwick. He was using the marriage not only to undermine Warwick's influence and power, but also redirect policy decisions. As Edward's in-laws, the Woodvilles were now tied to him and could be used for marriage alliances that bolstered support for Edward and Edward alone, making him less dependent on Warwick. As I said above, it gave him the opportunity to focus on an alliance with Burgundy over France, which appears to have been Warwick's preference.

It could be that one, some or all of these factors were at play. But the more pragmatic factors do not really tell us why Edward chose to marry Elizabeth. If he wanted to tie the Woodvilles to him, he had two brothers who could marry into the family. Why did he choose to marry Elizabeth himself? If he was more concerned with averting the xenophobic attacks on a foreign-born queen or paying a cheaper dower, the question then becomes: why Elizabeth? Why did he choose her as his bride? Her Lancastrian and her mother's Burgundian ties might be reason enough. But we cannot dismiss the possibility of love or desire (or both!) in his choice.

It's very difficult to make a similar assessment of Elizabeth's reasons for marrying Edward. The thoughts of most medieval women on their husbands and/or lovers are lost to us. The dominant narrative about Elizabeth tends to make her marriage about her ambition or her love (or both of these things). It is possible that she fell in love with him, it is also possible that she found the promise of wealth, power and status tempting. We might also consider her vulnerability - a widow with two young sons who had only reclaimed her dower lands on Edward's intervention, whose husband and family were on the wrong side of the war and thus stood at risk of alienation or worse. It might be that she felt accepting the marriage was the best way to protect herself and her family.

I'll leave you with this from J. L. Laynesmith's Last Medieval Queens, which probably says all of what I've said in a much better and more succinct way:

However they met, or whatever the context of Edward's proposal, both must have known they were taking a huge risk in so challenging the ideology of queenship. Elizabeth Woodville—free from the negative attributes of foreign birth, possessed of a family whose necessary dependence upon the king was bound to elicit loyalty and whose connections with the duke of Bedford would win over more Lancastrian support, evidently fertile, probably as beautiful and as blonde as any ideal queen, and apparently with a strength of character Edward deemed appropriate to the demanding office of queenship—was in many ways very well suited to be the first Yorkist queen. But these were not the primary motives in the traditional selection of queens. Whatever the nature of the attraction Edward felt for the woman he chose to make his queen, to call it love and associate it with May was the only means of writing his choice into a discourse of orthodox royal marriage.

*I'm using Ruth Mazo Karras's definition of clandestine marriage in Unmarriages here; where clandestine marriages were those that occurred without public betrothal and reading of the banns, without solemnization or where the vows of consent were said privately.

#long post #asks #anonymous #elizabeth woodville

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illnessfaker · 9 months

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i have complicated feelings on "transabled" because well when you first google it what comes up is "body integrity identity disorder" which like that conversation brings up a whole mess of things irt bodily autonomy and anti-psychiatry. i don't think "transabled" is the a good way of articulating that kind of highly complex situation wherein those discussions are relevant though.

but that's different than like searching the same term on tumblr and getting the "transdyslexic flag" where it's like uh okay yes psychiatric diagnostic categories certainly are not these immutable things but that does not mean that simply desiring to have dyslexia and saying you wish you were dyslexic creates any meaningful change with anything nor does it meaningfully change your actual relationship to dyslexia as a psychiatric diagnosis.

this is hard to articulate but the best way of summarizing it is that people keep trying to equate shit to how gender functions just bc it's socially-constructed (like race and "transracial" stuff, when not referring to the term used by transracial adoptees) when just bc gender, disability, age (apparently), and race are socially-constructed doesn't mean they all function the same way.

i'm reminded of that one woman on r/illnessfakers where her situation got to the point where the tissue on her legs was fucking necrotizing. like at that point it does not fucking matter if she had a desire to be disabled/sick when previously not being sick she very much became disabled/sick, and that's only if she was in fact "faking" things. like we're talking about r/illnessfakers these people are horrible and treat random strangers like spectacles to be gawked at and it isn't justified regardless of whether someone is actually faking a condition. fuck that shit.

i used to wish i had something medically wrong with my legs to justify me being able to use something like a cane or wheelchair or crutches but that was before i knew i did in fact have several things medically wrong with my whole body. even now i can find myself in some sense "wishing" i was sicker because there is a false association in my head that means more support/validation when that absolutely isn't true and it's a wounded younger part of me that thinks that. but that isn't "transabled"-ness these are things that manifest from trauma and because i was medically neglected throughout my childhood and thought there wasn't anything "actually" wrong with my body when in fact i was born w/ defective muscles and joints in a way that impacts me in very fundamental ways.

like, it's not as if people can't become disabled. it's not as if disability is an immutable category solely located within the body. but not everything works like gender does just because it's also socially constructed category + drawing comparisons or equating certain things to transness is faulty analysis or a really faulty way of understanding these things even in the case of something like body integrity identity disorder and the question of bodily autonomy.

#op #ableism #sanism

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willbyersabyss · 10 months

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I am not pro israel, but I am educated, and I think you need to understand noah isn’t “some random celebrity” who could choose israel (Palestine) as a vacation spot if they wanted, he is a Jewish man. you need to understand just how sacred the land is in Judaism. For me, that land is called Palestine, however it’s the same land (with the wrong name) - the physical location is the holy cultural place and that is why he’s there embracing his own culture there. the partying I agree he could do without reposting, but at least those seem to be random people on the trip and not people he’ll be seeing (not an excuse. observation.)

Also, you know genocide is actively happening in multiple countries today right? I mean what’s the USA with their native people, and their migrant situation? The UK? Many others. “israel” is just another on the list, yet people go to the USA for vacation, Native Americans are getting their rights taken away but it’s okay to visit the countries for funsies! At the very least, Noah has a religious, cultural reason for being there and is actually sticking to that, not just having a holiday you know?

Please don’t get your info and opinions from Twitter, I want better for you

I fully understand that he is traveling to learn about his culture and religion. The problem comes in when he posts about how much he loves it there. I don’t believe that him traveling there necessarily means he supports Zionism, but I understand why people are upset.

Yes, I am aware of the contributions the USA and the UK make to genocide, I mentioned that in my post. The difference is that tourism in Israel directly contributes to genocide while travel to the USA, for example, does not. The government uses tourism to spread Zionist propaganda. This article gives a good explanation for this. Another example of this is when native Hawaiians ask that people do not travel there because tourism directly impacts their communities and is making it unlivable for them. That is a comparison you can make, but tourism in a majority of the other states in the USA does not directly harm indigenous people. That’s why traveling to the USA is different from traveling to Israel.

I’ve seen many Palestinians express their discomfort over Noah traveling to Israel and I would rather listen to them and do my own research. I am not forming my opinions from Twitter, I have researched this issue on my own because I was unsure of why he was receiving backlash at first and now I understand why it can be harmful to travel there.

I do not think that Noah has malicious intents but considering how many people are criticizing his behavior, I think he should acknowledge it. Him wanting to connect with his Jewish culture is perfectly fine, but his promotion and praise of Israel when he has such a large platform is harmful.

#noah schnapp

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atomicpoetrymusic-blog · 2 years

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So I was asked via my last post to write more about Rina (thank you, izzyneedsabreak, I don't know how to do all the technical stuff to connect to your page, but you gave me the confidence to write more).

I also wanted to say, before I start, that this post is specifically about Rina. Any other character mentioned (basically just Nini and EJ) has their own arc and own relationship dynamics, but this post is focused on how they impact Ricky and Gina. This is already a long enough post as is, and I can't be bogged down with extra info, or I'll be here all week.

So here goes nothing. Buckle up, Wildcats.

The best thing to start with, I guess, would be the overview of each season's primary Ricky/Gina relationship status:

season 1 - the beginning, the understanding, the intimate bond, which is then severed by outside forces

season 2 - the disconnect, Gina's pining, Ricky retreating back into safety and a time when life was easier with Nini

season 3 - the reconnection, Ricky's pining, Gina focusing on her first boyfriend in EJ, reforging the intimate bond

An important thing to note about Rina, and this will come as no surprise to Rina fans, is that they are, from the very beginning, established as the outsiders, and the ones who incite a majority of the main plot in s1. This is why people keep coming back to the Troyella parallel, because this is basically the whole plot of the first High School Musical - outsiders to the East High theatre come in and shake things up, while also developing romantic feelings for each other. While I know Tim Federle didn't initially think about Ricky and Gina romantically, when seen through this lens, it felt almost inevitable.

Also, Joshua and Sofia's chemistry is off the charts, and I love that the writers recognised this and used it to their advantage. The fact that it surprised even the people writing the show that Rina could be a thing, just makes this relationship that much more special - because it wasn't planned, but developed naturally, without intention, and feels that way, too. It feels real and earnest, and is quite unique in this respect, especially for a Disney show. I also like that they kind of nod to this phenomenon in the 3x08 final scene - "You weren't the plan, you were never the plan. Plans change."

The most important thing about Ricky and Gina and their dynamic is the synchronicity between them, and that all roads lead to the other. I know parallels are slightly overused when discussing these two, but honestly, it's the best way to describe how they can both simultaneously be in sync and in disarray. They both went through the same things, but at different points in the story (eg. the pining when the other is in another relationship). This all comes to a head in 3x08, where they are finally in the right place to admit their feelings about each other, to each other.

Another important aspect to Rina is the difference between second choice and second chance. In season 1, after they form their bond, I have little doubt that Ricky and Gina would have ended up together anyway, if not for Gina moving away. She removed herself as an option, and Ricky retreated back to Nini in an attempt to find comfort in something familiar.

In the s2 flashback, I think people sometimes forget that Ricky JUST got back together with Nini, while also believing he would never see Gina again. She wasn't an option at the time. And again, in s2, Gina removes herself from the situation, and makes it clear to Ricky that she doesn't want to talk to him (and he gives her the space she's asking for). And then, in s3, when they are reconnecting as friends, Gina is, again, no longer an option because she is dating EJ. Ricky does his absolute utmost to respect that, and even actively tries to help her in her relationship with EJ.

In comparison, second chances means that the option is available again. In the song 'Second Chance', Ricky's line in the bridge is "begin again". We now know that he meant 'begin again' with Gina, not Nini. And then, when they finally talk again, Gina asks if they can "start over". While not consciously knowing all this would entail, it represents her second chance with Ricky. As we know, Gina 'never does things right the first time'. This is their second chance to get it right.

I also want to talk about the other two members of the love square: Nini and EJ, in regards to how the writers use Rini and PW to show rather than tell that Ricky and Gina are better suited to each other than their respective first partner.

With Nini, for Ricky she represents things as they were. She was comfortable and safe, because he had known her his whole life. In s1 and s2, Ricky is going through a lot of change in his home life, and he is clinging to Nini in s2 in an attempt to find stability. He wants everything to stay the same. However, Nini is trying to figure out who she wants to be, and Ricky actually starts to smother her attempts to do this, in his desperate bid for things to stay as they are. They come to a natural, mutual decision to go their separate ways, as they don't like who they are becoming when together.

Ricky's arc is about accepting change. There are far too many moments that prove that Gina represents change to Ricky, so I'll go with a classic: their first on-screen interaction in the skatepark. Ricky is in a place he is familiar and comfortable with, and ready to quit the show - and then he talks to Gina. She tries to persuade him to stick with the show - yes, she had ulterior motives, but she admits in the Homecoming car scene she really meant it when she said he makes a good Troy - and he listens. This decision changes Ricky's trajectory from skate rat trying to win his girlfriend back, to fully-fledged theatre kid, and finding he actually likes it. So, when his embodiment of positive change is suddenly ripped away from him in 1x07 with Gina moving away, it is only natural that he would place negative connotations on change afterwards, and this is why he retreats back to Nini.

With EJ, for Gina he represents the safe, comfortable option. He showed up when she was in trouble, and made her feel welcome when she was suffering. The problem was, he didn't stick around. His answer to Gina was constantly that he'd get to her later, which is not what she wanted or needed to hear (in contrast, I noticed that Ricky says to Gina, "its about the journey, not the destination"). Having spent her whole life being pushed from pillar to post, without a say in how long she could stay in one place, Gina needed to have that stability she craved in EJ, but due to EJ's own uncertainty about his future, he just could not provide that for her. Ricky, meanwhile, could, and proved it in s3 (eg. saying he'd do the wildcat cheer for her, night or day).

Gina's arc is about finding balance. For Gina, Ricky represents the stability she's been looking for her whole life, while also being the dangerous option of putting her emotions on the line. He was the first person to truly accept her for who she is. He repeatedly proves to her he wanted her in his life (eg. constantly texting her after she moved away), despite her pushing him away. Ricky, for Gina, is the embodiment of perseverance, something she has been seeking her whole life. And that scares her. (see: 'Second Chance' - "I'm safer when I'm on the run").

Another major Rina subject is that of growth, especially in regards to Ricky. As I previously said, Ricky's relationship with Nini wasn't exactly the healthiest, even before they broke up the first time around. His love for Nini was fairly immature and selfish, in that he wanted her all to himself and for her to stay around forever. This is understandable - it's his childhood best friend, his first love, they're both still just kids, figuring out who they want to be. But, it didn't allow for growth.

With Gina, especially in s3, Ricky has proven how much she has changed him for the better. Season 1 Ricky actively tried to break up EJ and Nini, and inserted himself into Nini's space (theatre) trying to win her back for himself. Now, we contrast that with his behaviour with Gina. He listens when she asks for space (all the way back in s2, as well, when Nini was basically all he thought about), and puts Gina's wants and needs above his own, actively supporting her in her new relationship, despite how much it hurts him to do so. The only time he willingly let his emotions come to the surface in s3 (before the finale), was when they were singing 'WDYKAL?', and he was pretending to pretend. He's so selfless when it comes to Gina, he would do just about anything for her, especially in his pining era. The Kristoff/Anna parallel is incredibly strong here.

Gina, while being younger, doesn't have as much visible growth as Ricky does because she was already pretty mature for her age. She knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to say when something is bothering her. She's the one who comes to Ricky to confess her feelings in the flashback, she's the one who initiates the kiss with EJ, she's the one who initiates the breakup with EJ, and she's the one who confesses that Ricky is the one she wants in 3x08. Gina's growth is more internal, simply based on the fact it is about finding inner balance. I think, her growth comes from the acceptance that she doesn't have to keep pushing to make things work - she accepts how she feels about a situation much more readily now, and is willing to walk away if need be. And with Ricky, in that final scene, she didn't need to.

In conclusion, the writing for Rina is honestly some of the best I have seen in a long time. Their romance grew naturally, while also building upon their established character traits and struggles, embodying maturity and growth and true love, portrayed by two fantastic actors with astonishing chemistry to boot.

I can't wait to see what's in store for them in season 4.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s3 #rina #ricky x gina #ricky bowen #gina porter

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gunsli-01 · 1 year

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Okay now that I've slept more. Let's talk about the English captions on "It's Not My Fault". It seems these are the lyrics that the translators struggled with the most so far. They're riddled with errors that make it difficult to understand or just flow weird. However, it's not completely impossible to grasp the underlying intent.

I can't speak for direct translations of the lyrics, but I can discuss the creative liberties they attempted to take with the song through the English lyrics provided. That and how I feel those lyrics are best interpreted.

So, here's the translation in the captions and description.

Lines that could make it difficult for some English speakers to wrap their heads around, they would do a double take at, or just lessen the impact of the song have been highlighted. However, since English relies a lot on context when everything is considered together it's not that daunting of a task to discern the meaning.

Here's my interpretation of what was provided superficial or nitpicky changes are highlighted in blue.

I feel the most important thing in the translation even if it's a bit rough is this part

"Sorry for hurting you, but I didn’t mean it. I am doing this is just because of being bored. We are just the same." which I interpreted to mean this, "Sorry for hurting you, but I didn’t mean it. I was just doing it because I was bored. We’re just the same."

This could be interpreted to mean that Mu finds her and Es/us the viewers to be the same just bullying others because we're bored. Just for entertainment and she's not entirely wrong. A lot of people have found Milgram entertaining.

However, this comes off as her admitting there's no deeper meaning behind her behavior, she just felt like it. Which tracks with the emphasis she continues to put on Es doing what they want to do. How they never chose to be the prison guard. So, there's really no point in taking it this seriously. She views them as the same because to an extent they're both just having fun judging others and their actions have led to many getting hurt. So, why not just have fun being the bullies together.

If Es tries to rebel out of jealousy well, we've already seen what'll happen right?

The choice to interpret pitiful into Drama Queen really works in English especially with Mu's character. She spent most of her first interrogation crying even though she was comfortable enough within Milgram to order personalized sweets.

Having it be translated to Drama Queen completely changes the feel of the song. To English speakers she's basically stating over and over that she was worried for nothing, she blew things out of proportion, and that this is something she's always done.

The English connotation around the term Drama Queen is someone who turns even the most mundane situations into a dramatic spectacle. Though I feel like after the part where she says we're just the same it'd be better to say, "Don't you think it's wonderful to control them with your gentle sting?" Further driving the comparison between herself and Es.

It would also aptly compare our guilty verdicts to her bullying. Showing that to an extent she's conflating what she did as her very own form of punishment on the same level as the judgements Es makes for their 'job'.

Honestly, they really chose to translate these lyrics in a way that would cause most Americans at least to snipe this woman from the rafters- Like it's very taunting in nature. Though that's just how I interpreted it when I saw it, and this is just the way it makes the most sense to me.

Other English speakers could have interpreted it a lot differently. Though I hope this gives some insight into why some people in English speaking countries may have changed their opinion on Mu. Maybe a more direct translation would've helped her with that, but I don't believe it would have from what I heard. Plus, the song itself is such a mean girl ballad that any hiccups in translation were easy to overlook.

It really does create an entirely different feel.

#milgram #kusunoki mu

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elliewiltarwyn · 8 months

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FFXIV Write 2023 | Prompt #4: Off the Hook

make-up day! hope you understand why this might have needed some fine-tuning @.@;

-1630 words -Spoilers for Sorrow of Werlyt storyline

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When Gaius turns away from M’naago and the militia officer, Mia makes sure she has planted herself there in front of him, arms folded, eyes narrowed, her brow furrowing around the third eye in her forehead. “I need to speak with you.”

To his credit, Gaius does not shy away from her; when he sees the look in her eyes, he nods, the lines in his face creasing and deepening as resolve settles in. “Very well.” He cocks his head towards a nearby alleyway, then gives Severa a brief nod when she looks at them questioningly. She does not follow them into the alleyway.

The moment they’re out of sight, completely hidden behind the wall and its shadow, Mia whirls around and punches Gaius across the cheek, then grabs the front of his coat before he’s even finished shouting in pain and slams him against the wall, pinning him against it—and she brings the tall ex-legatus down to her level, glaring at him with fury blazing in her eyes, her forearms braced across his chest.

“How dare you?” Mia growls, her vision blurring. “How dare you reap these rewards, this lenience, this respect—even though the whole reason we’re in this situation is because your past crimes are catching up with you!”

Gaius’s face is frozen in a wince, and he continues nursing the cheek that she struck. “...My… past…” he murmurs.

“The legacy you left behind, the values you instilled in those children!” Mia slams him against the wall again, eliciting another gasp of pain. “You came unto Werlyt, unto Ala Mhigo, unto Eorzea as a conquerer, to inflict and enforce your ideals unto them— ‘twas terrible enough in its own right, but to learn that you raised orphans from those lands to believe in the same things—!” Mia hauls off and punches him again—tears are forming in her eyes and her throat is beginning to go hoarse. “And now that’s what they’re not just fighting for, but throwing themselves onto the pyre for—it’s all because of you, Baelsar!”

Gaius lowers his hand, apparently resigned to the bruise on his cheek. His grey eyes slide up, meeting Mia’s out of the corners. There isn’t a hint of the anger or imperiousness he displayed on that funicular in the Praetorium’s depths. “...It is,” he says softly. “...They are my sins.”

“And yet you are rewarded—granted command over the militia you conquered, allowed custody over the daughter whose mind you poisoned!” Something burns within Mia’s breast, and she squeezes her eyes shut and grits her teeth, but she can’t prevent it from erupting as a strangled, agonized shout of sheer frustration. Her hand blisters with pain again, this time lasting longer on her knuckles; when she opens her eyes, she realizes it’s because she’s slammed her fist into the wall next to Gaius’s head. The force has left a barely-noticeable impact crater in the stonework.

“...Aye.” Gaius’s voice is so quiet, in comparison. So weathered. So tired. “I have been extended… a shocking amount of grace.”

“...And I was extended none.”

These words bring a strange life back into Gaius’s eyes, and he stares down at Mia. “How do you mean?”

Mia shuts her eyes again and breathes in, deeply. She dredges through her memories, trying to find the traces of beauty within all the sludge. There isn’t a lot. “...You know who I was before.”

“...Aye.” Gaius swallows. “...Maia jen Asina… the daughter of Aulus mal. The chief engineer behind many of the Empire’s most dangerous magitek. The architect of the artificial Echo that Fordola and Zenos wield.”

“And how,” Mia begins, her lungs burning with heavy grief, “do you think it went over when I defected?”

“...I cannot imagine you had an easy time of it.”

“That’s putting it lightly. Dear old dad cast me out, rejected me from my family and friends forevermore. I walked into Ul’dah with nothing but a rusted cuirass and the sword on my back—no home, no rights, nothing to hope for—cast out from your ideal Empire.” She sucked in air through her teeth. “I toiled in the ranks of the Gladiators’ Guild for years, until somehow, the Echo suddenly awoke in me and granted me a chance to fight back.” Her vision flares up again as she sets her gaze on him once more. “Against you, as you may recall.”

“I will never forget it,” Gaius murmurs.

“And yet here we are. You at the head of a revolutionary militia. Your crimes swept under the rug—and then roaring back out from under it to attack us.” She feels her whole body vibrating in fury. “And you’re just… being let off the hook.”

Gaius just looks down at her for a long, long time before he exhales and says, “And you are completely correct; I do not deserve a single onze of the grace I have been extended.”

Mia stops short, freezes over entirely, down to her bones and the blood in her veins and her heart. “Wait, what?” Of all the tacks she had expected him to take, she never once thought he would agree with her.

“It pains me that the Alliance trusts me to lead their efforts against Valens’s ambitions, when I myself am responsible for everything about how those ambitions have taken form.” He keeps his gaze fixated, unwavering, on Mia, but he does rapidly blink as tears begin to roll down his cheeks—right over the bruise Mia had left him. “That they think I am still worth trusting… that Severa and Valdeaulin and Allie still believe me trustworthy… when I may as well have thrown Allie’s siblings upon the pyre myself. ‘Tis beyond the pale.”

Mia wants to keep pushing; she feels she has so much more she has to say—so much shit she’s been through that Gaius needs to know so he can maybe finally grasp some understanding.

…But does he already understand?

“...And you are right. Those ideals… the ones they have been sacrificing themselves for. The ones I upheld, as I marched forth into these territories to conquer them in the name of the Empire.” His shoulders sag, and he hangs limply against the wall, propped up solely by Mia’s grip. “...Madness. Nonsense. And ephemeral—Valens makes mockery of the Empire that I believed in… but that Empire never existed in the first place.” He squeezes his eyes shut in pain. “‘Twas naught but honeyed words, to satisfy the personal ambitions of cruel men.”

Mia tightens her fist in the front of his coat. “...That Empire was also a flawed, terrible, and self-destructive concept at its core.”

“...It was.” He opens his eyes and his gaze flickers elsewhere, nowhere in particular, but Mia has an idea of what he’s thinking about. “...Naught proves that better… than the corpses of Milisandia and Ricon and Rex… and all those in our wakes.” The shadow in his eyes makes it all too clear to Mia; he is deathly, horribly afraid that Alfonse and Allie will be added to that list.

…His children.

Orphans, by his hand… but children that he nevertheless cared for and loved. In the way that my father never did. Never had the capacity to.

…I did not believe the man we fought in the Praetorium had that capacity either. I still don’t, and I doubt he did when he destroyed those children’s families before.

…But what about this man before me?

Mia suddenly releases her grip, and Gaius staggers and nearly falls over before regaining his footing. He rubs his shoulder and grimaces as he straightens back up and meets her gaze once more. “I don’t deserve your trust either, Mia,” he says quietly. “And I will not ask for it. But… there is something I would ask of you.”

She clenches and unclenches her fists, stretching her fingers out, her lips tightly pressed against each other as she breathes. “...What?”

“…Please hold me to account. Even if the Alliance will not.”

“…You’ve asked the same of Valdeaulin and Severa, have you not?”

“I have. And to their judgments, I will also submit.” The look Gaius fixes her with is filled with resolve—and none of the fury she had seen in his grey eyes when she destroyed his eyepiece in the Praetorium. “...But before then… in this moment… I must right the wrongs I have committed. Whether or not the Alliance believes it meet or just for me to do so… whether or not my children believe otherwise. I must face my sins and bear the weight of the consequences inflicted on not just me, but so many innocent peoples.” He does not waver. “And though you may not trust me… I certainly trust that you are capable of putting me back on that hook.”

And mayhaps for the first time ever, Mia sees Gaius Baelsar’s mouth curl into a wry smile. “You have done so once already, after all.”

Mia’s gaze flicks down, then up, scanning him from head to toe. She sighs out a deep exhale and meets his eyes once more. “I didn’t do it alone.” Ellie’s and Lily’s faces, smiling kindly upon her, surge to the forefront of her mind.

“...No, I suppose not.” He lets out a small huff. “I believe that’s proof enough you were right all along.”

For the first time ever, Mia favors him with a wry smile too.

“Gaius—Mia—I hate to interrupt.” She’s shocked from her reverie and turns to see Severa at the head of the alleyway, her brow knit in concern as she looks between them. “But we have to address Allie’s situation.”

“Allie?” Mia’s veins freeze over once more.

Gaius breathes a deep, exhausted sigh and plaintively looks at her. “It seems I must ask you for that favor even sooner than I had hoped.”

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023 #my fanfiction #ffxiv fanfiction #werlyt is...*contentious* in some of the ffxiv circles i run in #like “screaming about how much this ruins the game” contentious #i don't think the actual writing is that good and the way it handles some very sensitive topics is pretty clumsy #but for some reason gaius's character in it is fascinating for me--probably because of mia #like how would she feel about his apparent treatment when she's garlean herself. obviously it's not *great.* how could she process that.#also hey! think this is the first time i've mentioned: she's aulus mal asina's daughter!#she doesn't regret killing him at all! he was an asshole! :D #anyhoo uh yeah. hoping i didn't poke the hornet's nest that harshly.

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 1 year

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I'm sorry if this is condescending - it's easy to make assumptions from anons. But one of the important changes in politics I've seen over the last twenty years is that information about what is wrong with the world that is rooted radical analysis, has often been separated from radical analysis about how to change things. When I was learning about migrant exploitation labour in my early twenties - I learned that alongside learning about union struggles in NZ and overseas and how to act in solidarity. I think it's really important to learn from historic struggles how change has been made.

Because without that what you get is a long list of what is wrong with the world, and then a demand for an action that there has been no organising around, no collective

Im sorry, i don’t really understand what your point is. Nothing of what you just said had to do with the very reasonable criticism about Louis tweeting and supporting this wc publicly when having such a reach to so many people. What is your alternative suggestion when criticizing and vocalizing the wrong in all of this isn’t the right way for you? You said, learning from historical struggles? What did you learn specifically and how can this be helpful to this situation that we are now talking about?

I just try to understand, so this isn’t mean to offend anybody. Maybe I’m just too uninformed or too narrow minded but I’m very invested in this discourse in general when it comes to the World Cup and to fifa. I have no demand, I don’t expect people to do anything but I think it’s important to spread awareness. I wouldn’t go up to people telling them what to do and how to act. But I think it’s important to criticize certain things that might have a big impact.

Anon - I'm deliberately not talking about Louis and instead talking about the wider political issues, because I think talking about Louis concedes that whether someone watches and talks about the world cup is important.

Your worldview seems to prioritise speech as a form of political action. When you talk about how to make change you don't talk about building collective power or leverage, but raising awareness. I really disagree with that approach. Awareness of wrongs doesn't change them. The idea that awareness is important and that if people knew what was going on then things would change - there is no evidence of that - no evidence at all. It's a model of change put forward by those who either want the world to stay the same, or who have no experience in trying to change things. (Raising awareness of what people are doing to resist oppression can be very important, it's not the same thing as raising awareness of bad things.

The world changes when people work together to make it change. Boycotts work when people who are working together to fight their oppression believe that it's a useful strategy and their call is respected by other people. They take a lot of work and organising and even the ones that appear to happen over night, take a lot of prior organising.

I'll give you a comparison. I learned about the horrors of Nestle when I was a child. There has been lots of talk, over the years, about boycotting Nestle products. I've known people not eat various products because of the Nestle connection. But it was never called for by those who were resisting Nestle's oppressive practices. It's just kind of bumbled along, without any real impact. And I would never judge anyone for having a kit-kat.

There's lots of places where you can learn about boycotts that have had an impact. I linked to the documentary about the resistance to the 1981 Springbok tour twice recently (here it is a third time). But also one of the most famous boycotts of all time - the Montgomery bus boycott. That act worked because it was a collective action - many people may have avoided segregated buses (I know a white person who grew up in the segregated South and who used to drink from the 'coloured' drinking fountain as an act of defiance - it didn't change anything) - but that didn't change anything. What changed is when black people in Montgomery made a collective decision that they were going to do what it takes to stay away. There's lots of information about this. I was profoundly influenced by watching Eyes on the Prize while I was a teenager (the key message for me was that neither Martin Luther King or Rosa Parks were doing the most important work - it was Jo Ann Robinson's mimeographing that was necessary).

From what you've said here I think you massively overvalue individual speech acts - and don't understand the role off collective action in making real change. I do encourage you to learn more about when people have been successful in changing the world. I think it'll challenge the way you currently think about both 'awareness' and 'criticism'.

#Just to reiterate #my position is that the fact that Louis Tomlinson is watching and talking about the world cup #doesn't matter #and I'm prepared to talk about the politics of this as much as you like #but making Louis Tomlinson the main character of world cup discourse #is both obscene #and also concedes my point #so I'm not going to talk about him #but the wider political issues

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187days · 1 year

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Day One Hundred

One of my students won’t come to class because he’s struggling, but he’s struggling because he won’t come to class. This is a vicious cycle, and I- and so many other adults in the building- are trying to pull him out of it, but, so far, nothing we’re doing is working. I wish I could make him see that I’ve got other students in the same section of World who find it difficult- and, heck, maybe they find me difficult, too- but just by showing up, asking for help as needed, persevering even when they’re frustrated, etc... they’re going to be successful. And he can be to.

It’s extremely frustrating that I haven’t been able to convince him of that.

Today I was teaching one of the more difficult lessons in the first unit, but one of the most engaging. It’s about migration, so I started by asking students about the impact it has on cultures- ie, people bring their culture with them when they move to new places, cultures interact and blend, sometimes there’s backlash to that- and asked them what they knew about their own immigrant ancestors. I’d guessed (correctly) that many of them had ancestors like mine who’d fled poverty, famine, conflict, etc... Segue to me explaining how many people fleeing those things today are quite young.

We’d talked about Korea in previous classes, and that situation seemed to interest a lot of them, so I showed a Ted Talk by a woman who’d escaped North Korea and also gotten her family out. We discussed that for a bit, I got some great questions about asylum-seeking, legal vs illegal border crossings, etc... as well as questions about North Korea, specifically. After that, I had them read Warsan Shire’s “Home” to get another perspective on what it means to be an asylum-seeker.

It’s that poem that makes the lesson difficult; it deals with very serious issues and it has some profane language, so it requires a certain level of maturity, which is not always a guarantee with ninth graders. A few of the boys in Block 2 tried to make jokes, so I responded with the classic, blank, “I don’t get it,” and they knocked it off. We discussed lines that were unclear, or lines that stood out, and I ended the lesson by saying we’d be doing some research tomorrow to learn more about what is being referenced in those lines. Students are learning that it’s my style to string lessons together very deliberately, and some of them have said they like how clear I am about it, so that’s a win.

My APGOV students have a test on Wednesday, so they did some MCQ practice to identify which topics they need to review prior to it, and which ones they have down. After that, we discussed FRQs and I showed them how to write concept application questions. We tackled one together, then I had them do one on their own. We’ll do the same with quantitative analysis and SCOTUS case comparison questions tomorrow; I’ll save argument for the next test. Some of my students find it very easy, some find it very difficult, and it led to a hilarious discussion about whether my class or calculus is harder.

It’s definitely calculus if you ask me. I have no idea how to do that. But, of course, some of my students find that as effortless as I find political stuff, so it’s about learning the tools and tricks to make the political stuff easier.

That’s what I’m here to help them do!

#teaching #teachblr #teacher #edublr #educhums #education #high school #social studies #warsan shire #conversations about current events #day one hundred

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