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etoilesombre · 5 months

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Hey, do you guys want to hear a story? Let me tell you about the romance between Lancelot and Guinevere, as recounted in Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur.

So, I thought I knew the basics. I grew up reading modern versions of Arthurian legend that focused on other aspects, but had a general knowledge of the Arthur-Guinever-Lancelot love triangle. It didn't show up too much, but I assumed it was subtext in some other versions. What I picked up was that it was sort of pure, almost an ot3, and not the cause of a lot of problems.

My friends. In this version it is NOT SUBTEXT, it DEFINITELY CAUSED PROBLEMS, and it is WILD. It is a true will-they-won't-they drama fest soap opera romance, and I need to share. So please, come on this journey with me.

[I’m looking at you, Black Sails fandom people. I need you to know that Flint canonically would have read this. He would almost certainly have also grown up hearing these stories. I’m not saying he’s Lancelot coded, but I am saying it's interesting that he would have been aware that was something it was possible to be.]

A couple notes, before we dive in. I am very much just summarizing what happened in the book. The thing is, the book is a million pages long and also in Middle English, and this is just one of many plots, which I think is why it's not more widely known. I will show some excerpts so you can get a feel for the text, but you don’t need to read them to understand the story. I'm referring to a version that is as close to the manuscript as I can find, though with spelling regularized. For real fun, see what the original looked like. Malory purports to be translating part of the French Vulgate cycle, which likely is where the character of Lancelot originates, but in fact he is doing much more than translating, and compiles other stories as well. Point being, when he says “so the French book sayeth” etc, that is the “book” to which he is referring. Because of my lack of knowledge about the language and cultural context, this lecture series from Mythgard Academy was absolutely invaluable to my understanding. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Inevitably, some of the opinions of the prof are reflected here. I do not have it in me to compare the scholarship of various medievalists right now, I just want to tell you about this DRAMA.

Let’s start with a prophecy. When Arthur decides he wishes to marry Guinevere, Merlin advises him to take someone else, because if he takes her, she will betray him with Lancelot and it will destroy his kingdom. All of this is foretold, not only to us, but to Arthur himself. Of course he takes her anyway, and all is doomed from the start.

As we begin the main arc of this story (several books after the prophecy), Lancelot is widely acknowledged to be the best and most renowned knight of Arthur’s court. He is plainly and hopelessly in love with Guinevere, and she loves him in return. Arthur doesn’t have a problem with this - who wouldn’t love Guinevere? This sort of love is socially acceptable, so long as they do not sleep together, which would be treason. Arthur in fact seems to support their love, because it means that Lancelot will be Guinevere’s champion should she need one. This is a role Arthur himself legally cannot fill because he is the king, and so would have to be the judge. Lancelot is indeed a good champion for her, and fights for her when she is wrongly accused of murder.

Lancelot is deeply chivalrous, in a way that seems sincere. This is a great place for a first excerpt, a conversation with a Random Damsel Lancelot has been helping:

‘Now, damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘will ye any more service of me?’ ‘Nay, sir,’ she said, ‘at this time, but almighty Jesu preserve you wheresoever ye ride or go, for the most courteous knight thou art and meekest unto all ladies and gentlewomen that now liveth. But one thing, sir knight, me thinks ye lack, ye that are a knight wifeless, that ye will not love some maiden or gentlewoman. For I could never hear say that ever ye loved any of no manner of degree, and that is great pity. But it is noised that ye love Queen Guenivere, and that she hath ordained by enchantment that ye shall never love no other but her, nor no other damosel nor lady shall rejoice you; wherefore there be many in this land of high estate and low that make great sorrow.’ ‘Fair damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘I may not warn* people to speak of me what it pleaseth them; but for to be a wedded man, I think it not; for then I must couch with her, and leave arms and tournaments, battles and adventures. And as for to say to take my pleasance with paramours, that will I refuse, in principal for dread of God. For knights that be adventurous should not be adulterers nor lecherous, for then they be not happy nor fortunate unto the wars; for either they shall be overcome with a simpler knight than they be themselves, or else they shall slay by unhap and their cursedness better men than they be themselves. And so who that useth paramours shall be unhappy, and all thing unhappy that is about them.’

So after doing his Knightly Deeds for this damsel, Lancelot asks if she needs anything else. She says no, but you are lacking one thing, which is the love of a woman. It is rumored that is because Guinevere has through sorcery made you love only her, and that causes all of the women great sorrow. In reply Lancelot makes this speech about how he cannot have a wife or paramour and be a good knight, but everyone thinks it is at least in part because his love is reserved for Guinevere.

Now, throughout the book his chastity DOES notably cause all of the women great sorrow. Everyone wants to sleep with Lancelot. Literally he is kidnapped by the four most beautiful queens other than Guinevere, and they say he has to choose one of them as a lover (not even a wife, a lover) or else die. He says he would rather die, though in the end he escapes. This is just an example, truly it is a recurring problem for him. He is, at one point, tricked into sleeping with a woman with whom he conceives his son Galahad (as was prophesied, it's a long story and the romance is only part of it. It is worth mentioning that something similar happens to Arthur, which is how Mordred is sired.) When Guinevere learns that Lancelot has been with someone else, she is angry and banishes him from the court. They still love each other and eventually reconcile.

So, Lancelot goes on the quest for the holy grail. But he fails, specifically because while he is outwardly dedicated to God, in his private heart he is still dedicated to Guinevere. And so he makes a vow to renounce his love for her, acknowledging that it is beyond measure (beyond what is right, even if they have not technically done anything wrong.) However when he returns to Camelot, he cannot keep this vow, as we see.

Then, as the book saith, Sir Lancelot began to resort unto Queen Guenivere again, and forgot the promise and the perfection that he made in the quest. For, as the book saith, had not Sir Lancelot been in his privy thoughts and in his mind so set inwardly to the Queen as he was in seeming outward to God, there had no knight passed him in the quest of the Sangrail, but ever his thoughts were privily on the Queen. And so they loved together more hotter than they did beforehand, and had many such privy draughts together that many in the court spoke of it, and in especial Sir Agravain, Sir Gawain’s brother, for he was ever open-mouthed. So it befell that Sir Lancelot had many resorts of ladies and damosels that daily resorted unto him to be their champion: in all such matters of right Sir Lancelot applied him daily to do for the pleasure of Our Lord Jesu Christ. And ever as much as he might he withdrew him from the company of Queen Guenivere for to eschew the slander and noise, wherefore the Queen waxed wroth with Sir Lancelot.

He and Guinevere start spending a lot of time alone together, and so there are rumors circulating about them in court. In order to put a stop to the rumors, Lancelot starts paying other women attention and doing more good knightly deeds for them. Guinevere is terribly jealous, but he tells her it's for their own good, and also tells her about the vow he made, and his concern that their love is beyond what is appropriate. She is devastated, and weeping banishes him from the court (again).

Lancelot then rides in a tournament, disguised. (Why? Because this is simply a thing knights do.) To make it an effective disguise he takes the token of a woman, the sleeve of the fair maid of Astolat to wear on his helm. When she discovers that he was only using it for the disguise, and he does not indeed love her, she is so heartbroken that she says if he will not marry her or be her lover, she will die. He refuses, on the grounds that love must not be constrained and should arise from the heart, and offers her a thousand pounds a year instead if she marries anyone else. Properly insulted by this, she does indeed die. She has her body sent in a boat to Camelot, with a letter in her hand, saying that she died of her love for him, that he would not return.

Seeing this, Guinevere reconciles with Lancelot, presumably reassured by the fact that he would let this very beautiful much younger woman die of her love rather than being with her. She insists that from now on he will not fight in disguise, and will openly bear her token.

Then Queen Guenivere sent for Sir Lancelot, and said thus: ‘I warn you that ye ride no more in no jousts nor tournaments but that your kinsmen may know you; and at these jousts that shall be ye shall have of me a sleeve of gold. And I pray you for my sake to force* yourself there, that men may speak you worship. But I charge you as ye will have my love, that ye warn your kinsmen that ye will bear that day the sleeve of gold upon your helmet.’ ‘Madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘it shall be done.’ And either made great joy of other.

It is important to keep in mind that, to this point, there is no textual evidence that they were sleeping together, and a great deal of evidence that it was important to Lancelot that they not cross that line. There is much less evidence that this is important to Guinevere.

So then one fateful day in May, Guinevere goes picnicing with an entourage of knights. They are captured by someone else who is in love with Guinevere, and taken back to his castle, but she manages to send a message to Lancelot. At the castle, she insists that her knights sleep in her bedchamber on the grounds that they were wounded in the battle when she was captured and need tending, but truly she wants them there to keep her captor from raping her.

Lancelot arrives to rescue her, and the person who kidnapped her agrees to give her back in the morning. She tells Lancelot to visit her room in the night. He climbs up to her window, which is barred. They have a heartfelt reunion and she says she wishes he could come in to her. He acquiesces and breaks the bars to get into her room, cutting his hand to the bone to do so. Despite the profusely bleeding wound and the ten other men sleeping in the room, they at last do sleep together, in this passionate blood covered consummation. He sneaks back out and replaces the bars.

In the morning, the man who kidnapped Guinevere comes in and sees blood all over the bed. He accuses her of being unfaithful to the king, saying she lay with one of the knights who had been sleeping in her room. She denies it, but it is very clear that she did sleep with someone who was bleeding.

Lancelot says he will fight to defend her from this accusation, which is right and proper because he is her champion. In this story people take trial by combat and oaths before God very seriously, especially Lancelot. He really does try. So he swears an oath that he will prove with his life that Guinevere did not sleep with one of the wounded knights who lay in her room. This of course is TRUE, but only on a technicality. Lancelot, having slept with her himself the night before, is also the one who defends her honor after. I love this story so much.

Instead of fighting him, the kidnapper takes Lancelot captive. In captivity he encounters ANOTHER damsel who insists that sleep with her in order for her to help him. He refuses, still faithful in his heart to Guinevere. Eventually she settles for him holding and kissing her, which is not across the line of appropriateness apparently, giving us some idea of where that line is drawn. Anyway, Lancelot gets out, fights for Guinevere and wins. There are indications that he feels like he barely dodged a devine bullet.

Guinevere and Lancelot return to Camelot. Finally the rumors about them are true, the deed has been done, but of course nothing appears particularly different as there were already rumors about them. Two knights, Mordred and Agravaine, who have been intriguing against Arthur already, go and tell Arthur that Guinevere is being untrue to him. Here is his response:

‘If it be so,’ said the King, ‘wit you well, he is none other; but I would be loath to begin such a thing but I might have proofs of it. For Sir Lancelot is a hardy knight, and all ye know that he is the best knight among us all; and but if he be taken with the deed he will fight with him that bringeth up the noise, and I know no knight that is able to match him. Therefore, and it be sooth as ye say, I would that he were taken with the deed.’ For as the French book saith, the King was full loath that such a noise should be upon Sir Lancelot and his queen. For the King had a deeming of it; but he would not hear thereof, for Sir Lancelot had done so much for him and for the Queen so many times that, wit you well, the King loved him passingly well.

Arthur says he will not hear of this without proof, because if Lancelot is accused and allowed to fight he would beat anyone. And, it is said that Arthur had some idea of the affair, but would not credit it because Lancelot had done so much for him and Guinevere, and he loved Lancelot greatly.

So, one night when the king is away hunting, the two accusers contrive to catch them in the act, with a group of twelve armed knights. They do find Lancelot in Guinevere’s chamber, but the text is notably, pointedly vague about whether they are actually in bed. In any case, Lancelot asks for a trial. The knights say no, they have caught him and so may kill him. He is Lancelot, so he kills all of them instead, save one (Mordred) whom he leaves wounded. Lancelot flees, intending to return to rescue Guinevere and take her to his own castle to protect her from Arthur’s wrath. He maintains her innocence, and still intends that they will all reconcile.

Guinevere is to be burned at the stake (normal in this situation). Lancelot rescues her from the burning at the last moment, killing a number of knights of the round table. Arthur seems to blame the accusers more than Guinevere and Lancelot (for good reason; keep in mind that the romance is a subplot, there is a great deal of political intrigue going on.) Now a war will begin, whether anyone wants it or not, because of the people Lancelot killed. Lancelot takes Guinevere to his own castle. Battle lines are drawn, and Lancelot and Arthur confront each other in the fighting:

And ever was King Arthur about Sir Lancelot to have slain him, and ever Sir Lancelot suffered him and would not strike again. So Sir Bors encountered with King Arthur; and Sir Bors smote him, and so he alit and drew his sword and said to Sir Lancelot, ‘Sir, shall I make an end of this war?’—for he meant to have slain him. ‘Not so hardy,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘upon pain of thy head, that thou touch him no more! For I will never see that most noble king that made me knight neither slain nor shamed.’ And therewith Sir Lancelot alit off his horse and took up the King and horsed him again, and said thus: ‘My lord the king, for God’s love, stint this strife, for ye get here no worship and I would do my utterance. But always I forbear you, and ye nor none of yours forbear not me. And therefore, my lord, I pray you remember what I have done in many places, and now am I evil rewarded.’ So when King Arthur was on horseback he looked on Sir Lancelot; then the tears burst out of his eyes, thinking of the great courtesy that was in Sir Lancelot more than in any other man. And therewith the King rode his way and might no longer behold him, saying to himself, ‘Alas, alas, that yet this war began!’

So Arthur tries to slay Lancelot, but Lancelot, the better fighter, refuses to slay him and indeed when Arthur is unhorsed Lancelot forbids that he be slain, and gives him his own horse. Arthur weeps for the honor that is in Lancelot, and laments that the war began.

The pope intervenes and tries to negotiate an end. Lancelot confirms that he is willing to return Guinevere to Arthur, and says he has always been willing to do this and will still defend her honor, but that he does not feel he can do so because Arthur has listened to liars and been misled, and he had more reason to take her away than the accusation of adultery - he does not trust she can be safe in that court, with things as they are.

Eventually they do make a deal, with some assurances, and he surrenders Guinevere to the king. He kisses her openly, says that he will leave, but should she be in danger or ever again accused of being untrue, he will fight for her as he always has. He departs the court forever, to much great sorrow, and returns to his own lands.

The war continues - eventually Mordred seizes the throne, Arthur kills him in battle but is mortally wounded himself and passes to Avalon. Following the king’s death, although her love would no longer be adulterous, Guinevere retires to a convent rather than reuniting with Lancelot. He seeks her out, and this is her reaction:

Sir Lancelot was brought before her; then the Queen said to all those ladies, ‘Through this same man and me hath all this war been wrought, and the death of the most noblest knights of the world; for through our love that we have loved together is my most noble lord slain. Therefore, Sir Lancelot, wit thou well I am set in such a plight to get my soul health; and yet I trust through God’s grace and through His Passion of His wounds wide, that after my death I may have a sight of the blessed face of Christ Jesu, and at Doomsday to sit on His right side;* for as sinful as ever I was, now are saints in heaven. And therefore, Sir Lancelot, I require thee and beseech thee heartily, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, that thou never see me no more in the visage. And I command thee, on God’s behalf, that thou forsake my company; and to thy kingdom look thou turn again, and keep well thy realm from war and wrack. For as well as I have loved thee heretofore, my heart will not serve now to see thee, for through thee and me is the flower of kings and knights destroyed. And therefore go thou to thy realm, and there take ye a wife and live with her with joy and bliss. And I pray thee heartily to pray for me to the everlasting Lord that I may amend my misliving.’ ‘Now, my sweet madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘would ye that I should turn again unto my country, and there to wed a lady? Nay, madam, wit you well, that shall I never do, for I shall never be so false unto you of that I have promised. But the self* destiny that ye have taken you to, I will take me to, for the pleasure of Jesu; and ever for you I cast me specially to pray.

Rather than rejoicing in Lancelot’s presence, Guinevere laments that their love brought about the downfall of the Arthurian court, and the deaths of the knights of the round table and King Arthur. She calls upon Lancelot, by all the love that was ever between them to leave her presence, telling him to marry someone else if he wishes and see her no more. Lancelot replies that he wants no one else, and that he will respect her wishes, but will also renounce the world and join a religious order. He asks Guinevere for a final parting kiss, which she denies him.

When Guinevere lies dying of illness, Lancelot sets out to go to her, having had a vision. She knows of his coming, and prays to die before she sees him, because she cannot bear it. She dies a half hour before he arrives, leaving instruction that he is to tend to her body, and then lay it to rest beside that of her lord King Arthur. Lancelot does this with great sorrow, and after ceases to eat or drink, and within weeks is dead himself.

And there you have it, the love affair that doomed Camelot.

HUGE DISCLAIMER: Any and all mistakes or misinterpretations are my own. This is what I gathered, but I am not a medievalist. I am barely an interested layperson. I’m just a random fic writer who got obsessed with research for a story, and had to share this tragic mess.

#i have a million thoughts about this #and there is a great deal of context that would be helpful #but i this doesnt need to be more than 4k words long so #i may do a followup post if there is interest #but black sails folks #i'm writing a lot of flintmadi convos right now #and vaguely planned to have them talk about this book #as a way to discuss their own situation and values #but i had not actually read it #and it is WAY MORE than i expected #anyway they are going to refer back to it #so i figured i should write it down so i can point at it if readers want to know wtf they are talking about #is there an #arthurian legend #tag?#i purposefully haven't looked i don't go here if there is a here to go #but fuck it that was a lot of work might as well see #anyway there are so many things to dig into here #arthur's role or lack thereof #(the rest of the book has a lot more to do with him)#the treatment of fate and prophesy #the courtly love tradition #how this fits into the arthurian tradition as a whole #and the clear french influence #vs the old celtic stories #also so many fun things about language in general #did you know that paramour is derived basically the same way as paramilitary?#'para' as 'beyond that which is regular'#also in middle english negatives are additive rather than canceling each out out!#fun facts

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gascon-en-exil · 3 months

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7, dimitri alexandre blaiddyd!

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The relative lack of in-fighting among his fans.

As one of the most popular Fódlan characters with a bunch of ships to his name, you'd expect Dimitri to inspire endless ship wars and arguing over the "correct" way to portray him in fanwork.

However, possibly on account of just how many other people flat-out hate anything having to do with him, that's not really the case. M/F Dimileth shippers quietly stay in their own bubble as one of the biggest pairings in the fandom, and Dimidue and Dimilix shippers coexist with one another peacefully and are often amenable to OT3 (or more, ex. Sylvix) scenarios. Dimiclaude shippers get most of their grief from the Claude side of the fandom, and something similar can probably be said for the ever-embattled Dimigard shippers. Less common Dimitri partners, like Marianne, Sylvain, and Yuri, also get their own spaces with very little friction, and occasionally group setups again. Dimitri can be a doting and sensitive husband or a sexy murderhobo to his partner(s) of choice, and no one really cares.

It helps that many of the people who hate Dimitri outright either place so many restrictions on their enjoyment of fanwork that they make themselves look ridiculous (antis), or else fundamentally misunderstand how transformative fandom works and so continually fail to grasp what makes Dimitri or his gay ships popular (the Reddit/SF/GameFAQs side of the fandom).

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd

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gendertrickster · 6 months

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fun fandom thing i've noticed: ot3s with june, jade, or jane tend to be a combination of one of them with one of the following pairings: vrisrezi, rosemary, or roxycallie. jane is most common with roxycallie, june is most common with vrisrezi, and jade is most common with rosemary, but i've seen every combination!!!

it really is interesting, like. they're the three canonically established sapphic pairings by the end of the comic so it wouldn't be right to take them apart, and very conveniently polyamory exists (and any character could still be shipped with just one or the other of any of these but shipping three characters is for sure more fun), and by the end of homestuck there happens to be like three girls that aren't already in one of these pairings or related to anyone in these pairings. this produces the unique circumstance of all the girl harleyberts (and jane) getting shipped en masse with these already established pairings, for lack of many other relevant girls, and THAT ends up sort of reducing them to shipping fodder at times, especially june and jade from what i've seen. june's characterization gets eaten ALIVE by this stuff which, i guess june mischaracterization is already something that happens in broader homestuck fandom anyway, and jade is just generally misunderstood i think. people who go for jane though usually always get jane right if they give enough of a shit about jane to be writing her. i think my favorites are for sure junerosemary and janevrisrezi. i used to be big on junevrisrezi but then i met two people who altered my brain chemistry permanently (shoutouts rose and vicki) and i stopped seeing it working as much personally

#mail #Anonymous

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hazellvsq · 8 months

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frank/hazel/leo most popular pjo ot3? an analysis

okay so the love triangle poll had me thinking. i knew frank/hazel/leo had ship content on ao3, and i was curious to see if other love triangles or popular trios got the same treatment.

(this is very long and rambling)

this is the amount of ao3 content frank/hazel/leo has:

these are the other trios i was looking at:

last one is crazy lol. anyway, other potential trios like jason/reyna/piper or different combos of percy/annabeth/piper/jason all had less than 20 fics each. its possible i missed one but i'm pretty sure i tried of all of them.

for context, the general state of pjo character and ship content looks like this:

the vast majority of tagged fandom content with frank and hazel has them as background characters. finding content that centers them takes digging. aside from calypso/leo, they have the least popular canon ship, and the only other character that either has any substantial fan content with is leo. the pjo fandom has shipped leo with literally any character he was in proximity with, and hazel was a canon love interest of his. in addition, the pjo fandom has incredibly popular mlm ships and has gone through the time-honored tradition of finding ways to sideline, if not villainize, the canon female love interests. which makes these next stats so interesting to me:

a decent portion of works in both of these tags are frank/hazel/leo fics that got crosstagged. obviously, frank/hazel have more fics than frank/hazel/leo:

however, its impossible to figure out how many of these fics actually center frank/hazel, as opposed to them just being background characters. so i did a test and filtered out all of the more popular ships in their tag:

this isn't a perfect representation, because there are definitely frank/hazel centric-fics that had other ships in the background, and frank/hazel/leo aren't the main couple of every fic they get tagged in. still, though. that's less than the frank/hazel/leo fics.

the other thing about hazel and frank content is that they are the two characters who are most frequently headcanoned as straight. it's died down some in recent years but it used to be CONSTANT (it happened to leo too, but not as much). most fans thought they were the two most "traditional" characters, value-wise. so i was thinking, if frank and hazel got this much content for a poly ship, then the characters that this fandom actually thinks are gay have to have more:

and then i was like, hmmm well okay i'm very surprised there's not more for those three. but there's so many people who ship some combo of nico/percy/jason/will. i've seen so many big 3 edits that leave out the girls. there's no way frank/hazel/leo is beating out the white slash ship industrial complex.

frank/hazel/leo beat out the white slash ship industrial complex (big threesome is a very funny ship name tho).

my biggest guess would be that there was some sort of beef between the percy/nico and jason/nico crowds that has led to this lack of ot3 content. i wouldn't know. i'm wondering if they're going to catch up; its not far off right now. as far as i can tell will solace has no popular ot3's that broke more than 20 fics and is pretty much only shipped with nico.

other potential ot3's like jason/piper/leo...i have a theory that a lot of jason/piper shippers only really shipped it in conjunction with percy/annabeth because they were were a good secondary couple for percabeth-centric fics, and didn't care about leo as much (which could explain why there's more overall content for jason and piper than for leo). also, i think historically a lot of leo fans thought jason and piper were bad friends, although these days there's a lot more renewed appreciation for their trio. piper has also been commonly written as a ship obstacle since the inception of her character, when people thought she was homewrecking jason and reyna (the jason/nico crowd uses this trope too), which might be why she's not commonly put in ot3's despite having chemistry with most of the cast. on the other hand, the "ship wars" between hazel/frank and hazel/leo shippers in the mark of athena era were pretty mild, because most readers liked all three characters and didn't have strong enough feelings about either pairing to fight about it, whereas other ot3's don't get written because fans have a very strong preference for their other ships.

i know frank/hazel/leo has its origins on ff.net, but it was mostly one author and mostly just kink. there's a much bigger variety on ao3. i'm wondering why people liked it enough to make it a side pairing for other fics, and at what point the bulk of content for it was written. i'm wondering what people get out of combining the three of them that you don't get from just two. is it because all 3 dynamics are so clearly defined in canon? some of them also are based on kinks like mpreg that historically exclude women, so why do these authors include one? this is also interesting because the rest of the fanbase, including both fans who ship frank/hazel and fans who think that shipping hazel with anybody is problematic, refuse to write about hazel or frank having sex to the point where it was a fandom meme for a while. except in frank/hazel/leo fics, where a large percentage have explicit content. i'm wondering which of the nico/jason/percy or frank/hazel/leo tags has more mpreg, but i'm okay not knowing.

if you made it this far, there's not a real point to this post, except pointing out that for characters who barely get shipping content, frank/hazel/leo is unexpectedly popular considering how much content exists about them otherwise, and also goes against popular fandom perception of the characters in interesting ways.

#i have NO idea what to tag this as lol #frank zhang #hazel levesque #leo valdez #frazeleo #i'm still kinda shook that this had more fics then the nico ot3 i did not see that coming #lost hero trio deserves more fics tho tbh like every combination of it has been popular at one point. its time for a merger #also this essay is not an endorsement or criticism of any ships listed idc about any of them #just trying to figure out what makes different ships tick in fandom #if someone ran a ot3 poll rn i do not think frazeleo would win. but if you ran it during the height of the pjo ship wars?#my running theory is that ship wars prevent ot3s. since ppl usually have a strong preference. this is just one of the rare cases where peo

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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other things i'm thinking about: how much i love the ship names involving stede, ed and izzy in this fandom

blackbonnet: very cute. much better than gentlebeard (eh) or stedward (sounds like a boy band) 7/10, feels fine and fancy

blackhands: appropriate and also very fun to think about the ins and outs of. blackbeard's hands. hands blackened by the dirt of what they've done for blackbeard. blackbeard reaching out his hands to izzy to destroy or to love. so many ways to lose my shit about this one. 9/10

gentlehands: the one that makes me go utterly feral despite being my least favorite ship on this list (though i do love it, thanks, it's just not #1, #2 or #3). the implication of gentle hands, the thoughts of stede being gentle with izzy once he realizes he's a broken mess just like the rest of his crew. the idea of stede's hands touching him being the gentle ones, the ones with care, the ones he accepts and allows to touch him. the thought of izzy's hands becoming gentler towards stede in return. 2302830283/10 please continue to destroy my life

steddyhands: the idea of steady hands, the thought of the three of them in combination having a steady, true grip they couldn't have alone. the idea of no one hesitating or pulling away, holding onto each other without faltering, clutching in the darkness. the lack of 'blackbeard' or 'gentleman' in the mix meaning it's the three of them without their personas, just the people inside, reaching for one another. 200/10, thanks, my ot3 for this stupid show.

#stupid (affectionate)#ofmd #steddyhands #izzy hands #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackhands #gentlehands #our flag means death

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laufire · 1 year

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see, here’s the thing. my feelings about fandom’s old platitude of how ugh, wouldn’t it be MUCH better if love triangles were resolved by joining everyone in a polytriad?!? aside (triangles have a point, so that is hardly fit for every single one. also messiness is fine. hell, a good triad storyline could be messy as fuck and the better for it, why is it always proposed as a “peaceful” resolution)... that’s just not what Sense8 did with Kalagang + Rajan.

maybe they intended to develop an ot3 from the beginning or maybe not, and maybe if they’d had more time to develop it properly it could’ve been better, or maybe not. but imo, it lacked the set up of a love triangle in the first place.

I’m of the mind that a lot of love triangles are pretty obviously staked in one of the part’s favour from the beginning, on a Doylist level. you can easily see the pattern they follow (spoiler: it’s often misogyny; although sometimes other kinds of bigotry appear to spice things up!). but on a Watsonian level there’s supposed to be... more.

the thing is, with the show’s set-up, what we had is this: Rajan was the appropriate man. the catch. the rich, politically well-connected man Kala has more in common with and everyone and their mother is pressuring her to marry. everything about him is perfect on paper! and yet. Kala isn’t feeling it. there’s no *spark*. she’s going through the motions (even future father in law saw it and tried to cancel the wedding!).

Wolfgang could not be MORE inappropriate for Kala. they couldn’t be more different. worlds apart, in more ways than one. absolutely inconvenient when everything about Rajan is studiously so.

but when she sees him? FIRE. pure, pure fire. they’re drawn to one another despite how mismatched they seem at first sight (until you dig a little deeper). the passion is of the charts and as much as they might try sometimes, they just can’t stay away. when one is in danger, the other loses their SHIT.

if this was a set-up where Kala, Wolfgang, AND Rajan were all central characters, you could get away with calling this a love triangle. but the reality is that Kala and Wolfgang are main characters, and Rajan is a few steps down that ladder.

so is the result a love triangle? or... is this a set-up that screams “Kalagang are the EPIC, FOR THE AGES TRUE LOVE, and Rajan is the obstacle that must be overcome: a man Kala is marrying out of a sense of duty at beast, and simple inertia and boredom with her own life or inability to direct it at worse”?

and I know the show was praised to hell and back for NOT following up on this, and instead going with something ~quirkier and unique, more unexpected; for “subverting the audience’s expectations”. that can be a good thing! although it still irks me how a lot of the praise seemed to be about how Rajan wasn’t villified to prop Kalagang. that’s a good thing for Rajan’s character and the optics that would’ve resulted in such a choice (in a show that was already spotty regarding race, let’s be honest).

but a.) despite the fact that, yes, “husband mistreats or disappoints wife” is a trite, all too common phenomenon in our world, that doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad to tell such a story, or that it can’t be done in a compelling way, and these conversations always acted like it was so. and b.) Rajan being a good man does not mean getting married to him and staying married to him were good choices for Kala. love isn’t a debt you incurr in when someone’s kind to you and/or fundamentally decent to others.

the resolution of this story seemed to hinge into, “love is not finite. there is plenty to spare, and we need to expand our minds when it comes to it”. that’s a lovely sentiment, but with these three it didn’t quite land for me the way it did with other dynamics. and each time I rewatch a little I walk away with a poorer impression of it. it doesn’t quite *click*; the pieces don’t fit together. and I don’t think lack of time due to the cancellation and a rushed finale are solely to blame for that. like, yeah, it’s cute, it’s funny (Rajan’s actor is pretty great at all that); it’s quirky. but I don’t find it effective.

the set-up of Kala’s own feelings is at the epicenter of it. and I just... can’t actually buy they changed in nature. she grows to care for Rajan, to respect him and appreciate him and see him as a honourable man. but “you can love many people equally, if not in the same ways” falls completely flat here, because the difference in her feelings for Wolfgang and her feelings for Rajan are a matter of both quantity and quality. it’s a different love, and a lesser love for it; it’s being built up like that from the start. she’s so lukewarm about Rajan, especially in comparison to how she feels for Wolfgang, that it’s borderline painful and definitely awkward to see. even the way the camera shoots them vs. Kalagang scenes is wildly different, empathising the mundanality of one pair and the ~~epicness of the other.

tl;dr, my problem is that, at no point during the show, do I believe Kala has romantic feelings, let alone some with true depth, for Rajan. which means seeing them set up as a triad (or even a balanced V-shaped relationship with occasional threesomes lol) just... doesn’t convince me. at all.

#talking to the void #my thoughts #sense8 thoughts #sense8 #kalagang #wolfgang bogdanow #kala dandekar #also i didn't get into my hate for arranged marriage set ups because it wasn't the point but.#yeah it definitely plays into why this conclusion won't work on me ever

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marcmorrigan · 4 months

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there is a WOEFUL lack of wammy boys OT3 in this fandom. Thank you for putting them all together and happy.

omg youre welcome and thank YOU for the kind ask!!! @oloreandil is my enabler here, the gratitude should go to them 😤😤😤 i did a handful of really cute concept sketches of those three before i settled on the final, so i may end up posting those later, too, if people are interested!

#ask #anonymous

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canardroublard · 2 months

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Fic writer interview

Thank you @takingoffmyshoes for tagging me in the thing!

How many works do you have on AO3?

51 (putting additional text in this line because if I don't tumblr makes the font truly enormous)

What's your total AO3 word count?

283,783

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

don't make me spell it out (TMFU. Aka The Pegging Fic)

poco a poco (Rogue One. Aka The Music Student AU)

a million different reasons (TMFU. Aka the one where Napoleon's self-loathing and Gaby's inability to identify or ask for what she wants delay a threesome for an inordinate amount of time)

breathe (Gotham TV. Aka that one Gotham fic I ever wrote)

least the rose alive must three (TMFU. Aka the soulmate AU)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try. If I'm going through a tough moment they often get unanswered, but I generally answer otherwise. Unless it's someone asking me to write more.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Based on the number of times the word "bittersweet" is used in the comments section and the crying emojis, likely don't talk just hold me closer (Star Trek: Discovery). Its sister fic nor made me feel so sweet is also a bit of a downer™

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I don't tend towards *unhappy *endings in my substantial works, but Dirty Talk (TMFU) is unrepentantly sappy so that I suppose

Do you write crossovers?

I don't believe I ever have

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I'm not sure I'd call it outright "hate", but have received multiple comments on a million different reasons upset at me because I guess Napoleon being an unreliable narrator is not obvious enough for everyone.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Every now and then. And, statistically, the threesome/moresome kind.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Even if I had I have no clue how I'd know.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so. I have translated a few of my own and others' fics as French practice.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nay.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Hmm I'm not sure I have an OTP to Rule Them All. The TMFU ot3 seems an obvious answer. That said, I am a chronic multi-shipper within fandoms so I rarely even have an OTP within a fandom. This may not be obvious in my writing but it is my reading habit if nothing else.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Before anyone says "so give me a line and take me home", it's getting finished. Just not quickly. Stop telling people I'm it's dead

In terms of genuine "yeah I'm probably not gonna finish that", birthright, my Rogue One Pacific Rim fusion.

What are your writing strengths?

I would say writing nuanced/ambiguous/fucked up little guy characters? None of my favourites are free from sin, if you feel me, and I like to explore those sins.

Also @takingoffmyshoes tells me they want to write Gaby/Napoleon the way I write Gaby/Napoleon so that, apparently :D

What are your writing weaknesses?

Structuring conflict and resolution. I often find myself resolving conflicts too quickly/easily in longer fics.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Entirely dependent on the context. I've done it multiple times, in multiple languages, some instances more successfully (imho) than others. For me, the most seamless way to integrate it and have the audience understand is via framing things in the POV character's thoughts (assuming they understand what's being said).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who. Somewhere in the presumably purged depths of LJ there was an 11/Rose fic I wrote.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Too damn many. If I had to pic one, Widows (2018), a film which left me clinically feral in the best way, has a woeful lack of fic (or people who've watched it in general. Go watch Widows. It rocks. It will fuck you up and devastate you emotionally. It's got muscly Viola Davis in a tank top. Range.)

ETA oh and Lower Decks. Because the world will be forced to endure the result of my "Mariner and Ransom have been fucking since season one and neither of them acknowledges it and both of them kinda loathe themselves for it but the sex is so goddamn hot that it keeps happening" conspiracy theory slant on watching the show.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I'm going to completely sideline the bigger/more popular fics of mine (such that my limited popularity is). They're fine. I like them. "so give me a line" makes me want to eat plaster (Affectionate) every time I return to it. Choosing trompe-l'oreille (Atomic Blonde) because it fucks severely. By which I mean it is both emotionally and literally haunting. That is a form of fucking, right?

Tagging:

@bioticsandheadshots

#tag meme

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alinaandalion · 4 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @wistfulwatcher :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82, but a few of those are graphics made for big bang challenges

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

321,823

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Main fandoms would be Leverage and Once Upon a Time. But in terms of recently, just Leverage.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. come up for air - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen 2. (don't let go) just hold me - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen 3. heaven help the ones who fly away - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen 4. every song makes me think of you - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen 5. this is too much for me to hold - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but have been failing to follow through recently just because of...life and fandom still being kind of an uneasy place for me.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

most definitely "death is just so full (and man so small)" for Once Upon a Time. henry dies. it's not a good time for anyone but it was useful for processing some personal grief so there's that. but i do trend angsty overall tbh.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i have a few fics that i would consider to be fluffier but idk, i think "heaven help the ones who fly away" is maybe what i would personally consider my fic with the happiest ending? others may disagree, however. a few different Swan Queen fics would probably qualify

8. Do you get hate on fics?

on occasion, but it mostly rolls off my back because the issues are really with reading comprehension and a refusal to accept more complicated characterization than the fluffiest fandom interpretations.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

most definitely, yes. 2022 was the year of smut for me, actually. but it's always centered in exploring relationships and characters. like, yes, the idea might be centered around a threesome, but also, i'm going to throw in a character coming to terms with their sexuality and two people growing in their relationship.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one true crossover, which is "here to kingdom come" (Leverage crossed over into Hunger Games). i'm actually in the middle of rewriting this one from scratch and really want to build up steam on it because it's going to be a bit of a behemoth but it's also living in my brain 24/7. would love to get part 1 fully written and edited so i can post in 2024.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of. benefits of not being fandom popular :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, the two fics i wrote for the Suits fandom were translated

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i was part of a round robin swan queen collaboration and wrote the epilogue for it. (was supposed to do a chapter earlier in the fic but dropped out due to life things and was able to tap back in for the last bit. it was pretty fun) the fic was "Bring Her Home" - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

this is hard because the ones that stand the test of time are all my favorites. i think top three are swan queen (once upon a time), nate/sophie (leverage), and tara/sophie (leverage). also, special mentions for the leverage ot3 and dragon queen. also my beloveds

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the sequel to "but i leave in my heart." not because i don't have anything written (10k last i checked) and not for a lack of desire tbh. but after everything, i still recoil when i actually try to engage with any swan queen fic ideas (or once upon a time at all) due to fandom bullshit and idk if that will ever go away. which is deeply frustrating.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think dialogue and general characterization? i don't like to write fic until i feel like i've grasped the rhythms of a character in my head first

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually sitting down to write is always going to be one. and the other is setting descriptions. i think it's because i'm so hopeless at mentally placing myself in a physical space. i'm trying to work on it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

so, one thing i try to keep in consideration is that i don't speak anything other than English nor can i read any languages other than English beyond being able to pick up on some things due to context clues or my vaguely remembered high school Spanish courses. so i would need to feel comfortable that i was sure that i had translated everything properly. which means, other than small phrases i've gleaned from books or terms of affection, i probably won't bother for fic unless i feel very strongly that it's relevant to the character and that story. and then i would run it by someone who could give me real feedback on it if possible. like most things, the question always comes down to: does this fit the character and the situation and is it the only approach that will work?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

animated justice league series. shipped batman and wonder woman so hard in that show.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i have a hard time picking favorites since most of my fics are written to fulfill what i want to see. i have three because they all fulfilled very specific niches for me. 1. but i leave in my heart - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen (this fic will always be very special to me because i was so let down by the show's split queen storyline and i found most fics around it to be too driven by regina's relationship with emma rather than regina's character journey) 2. come up for air - Once Upon a Time; Swan Queen (i wanted a fic to address hook's involvement in regina's torture in s2 and since there wasn't one, i wrote it) 3. let's get physical - Leverage; Nate/Sophie and Nate/Sophie/Vlad (there was literally only one other fic about this specific pairing and i had been wanting to write one for it since i first saw that episode when it aired and i finally got around to indulging myself)

tagging: @deemnfic, @cminerva, @reflectingiridescent, @strangesmallbard, and anyone else who wants to answer :)

#my writing #fanfiction #ask meme

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dirtyoldmanhole · 7 months

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now that the slowburn fic's fully set in stone scene & tone wise, i'm letting myself read more fics about gunter b/c i didn't want to accidentally gank any ideas or headcanons from other people's stories.

and the interesting thing is, people focus on their favorite flavors of the character, right? a lot of it does overlap, but let's say, somebody digs the medieval romantic fantasy side, somebody else does a deliciously porny dead dove take highlighting the age gap with all the power on his side, somebody does a more traditional FE take on the worldbuilding, then there's another ossan lover out there who did a tasty yukimura/corrin/gunter ot3 smutfic which is a galaxy brain take, hell yeah more the merrier

etc etc. beauty of fanfiction/fandom, right? various flavors of cake.

and it's kind of fun contemplating what's the distinct flavor with my fic.

y'all will probably come to different conclusions, and i hope you do, that's the fun thing about sharing works. but one of the biggest things that bugged me about revelation is the whiplash of gunter betraying you in the sense of ... it was executed well, but how does this fucked up dude tick, man. poked it a little in this post immediately after i played revelation, how possessed gunter + "original" gunter honestly is the same man.

you can't moralize or stuff your fingers in your ears pretending that old mister baddie anankos did everything wrong. corrin kind of does this in revelations and i'm all, hold up dumbass, he is way more f a s c i n a t i n g if you don't do that.

what if you have that and the romance, the weird amount of mutual trust? what if you have him corrupting the shit out of corrin with genuine resentment plus a dollop of sexual malice, and her also kinda darkly being into it as he is?

(there is an essay in me about how corrin, with the sheer lack of control over everything and her being viewed as this tender innocent fragile prize, would find that knowing, mutual under-the-table corruption profoundly erotic. as deeply skewed as it is, she feels like she gets more agency out of that than any ""protection"".)

there's so many scenes in this fic that are fucked up. there's a lot that are tender too, mind, but this is a fic where i hope, that you plainly see quote unquote possessed gunter as himself from literal start to finish. (because he was always himself).

the plot twist is you the reader -- see him as that betrayer, from start to finish. i have always loved my self-aware villains who knew perfectly well they were walking down the road to hell, whistling all the way.

that!!! i wanna see that gunter.

#leaning on this angle; i hope #gives an even more profound weight to the sense of *grace* and forgiveness. that's the new actual plot twist.#corrin here genuinely *knows* his sins. doesn't try to pass it off as anankos. hell he cracks in horror when he knows that she does.#he would never forgive himself. and there's something so profoundly divine and sacred in saying 'i know and you're still worth fighting for #imagine how that feels to somebody who's been cast aside the whole time.#gunter slowburn liveblog

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nickiemoot · 1 year

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i expressed dismay at the lack of good + interesting fanfics to my gf and they said "it's because mario fandom is all normies". and my god. they're right.

anyway ship mario/peach/bowser ot3 you goddamn cowards

#nickie words #THERES VERY LITTLE ON AO3. IM DYING.

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set-phasers-to-whump · 2 years

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let's break the ice

prompt: treading water, "take my coat"

whumpee: illya kuryakin

fandom: the man from uncle

hello!! i hope you enjoy this fic, i had so much fun writing it! (it's pre ot3 jsyk)

It’s technically against orders for Illya to be up on deck right now. They are traveling to Greece after completing a not-entirely-sanctioned mission near the Mediterranean coast of Turkey and, quite obviously, are not looking to get noticed by any other ships on the water. This means that no one is supposed to be on deck unless they need to be.

However. The mission is over. The riskiest hours have passed. No one can definitively prove which port their ship had left from. The lights are all off and Illya has not seen any other lights on the water at all. So he thinks it’s okay to be up here. Perhaps Solo and Gaby’s comparative lack of respect for the rules is beginning to rub off on him.

Anyway, he’s only up on deck because it’s too cramped down below. The ship is a fully-operational fishing vessel, complete with a crew, none of whom are above the height of six feet. They can all stand up below deck without having to bend over. Illya cannot. Plus, it’s quite loud down there. Solo and Gaby had started up a game of cards with some of the crew. He’d been invited to join, but had politely declined.

The water beneath him is a bit rough and choppy. A refreshing, biting wind nips at his cheeks. He holds onto the railing and stares out into the blackness and listens to the sounds of the waves mingling with the shouts and laughter coming from below deck.

A particularly rough wave rocks the ship. Distantly, thunder rumbles. Illya looks for lightning, but doesn’t see any.

The door behind him opens. He turns around. Gaby stands in the doorway, silhouetted in orange light.

“The captain says you should come back down. He says it’s going to storm.”

“In a minute.”

“Do you want to play cards with us? I’m winning.” She grins at him.

“Maybe. In a minute.”

“Okay,” Gaby says, and turns to go back down. The door shuts behind her.

He’ll have to go back under soon. He can’t risk the captain being angry with him. But the sea really isn’t so bad now, certainly nothing to be concerned about. And it’s so peaceful and the air is so nice. Just a few minutes more, and then he’ll go below deck.

The waves grow rougher as the ship plows ever deeper into the Mediterranean. Droplets of cold water sting his face. Finally, he sees a lightning strike, far out in the distance. He leans more heavily against the railing and watches for another one.

The boat cuts through the largest wave yet. The deck is slippery beneath Illya’s feet and the railing is slippery beneath his hands. He holds on tightly to it as his feet slide out from under him, and then the boat pitches forwards and wrenches his hands off of the cold metal. He tumbles off the side of the ship with a surprised shout.

The impact with the water is shocking. It pulls all the air out of his lungs and sets his body to shivering before he even fully comprehends what’s happened. For a second, he flounders wildly, trying to get his head above water using a body and brain that haven’t yet caught up to the situation.

It doesn’t take too long for his training to override his instinctual panic, though. He starts treading water and listens. Above the noise of the water and wind, he can hear the ship’s motor. They’re running without lights and because of the distortion created by the other noises, he can’t definitively tell where the ship is in relation to him.

He therefore doesn’t want to swim. He doesn’t know which direction to go, and furthermore, doesn’t want to risk running into the ship and getting pulled underneath. And so, based on his rational thinking, he stays put and treads water. Based on his irrational fear, he starts shouting, as though anyone will be able to hear him over the noise of the ship and the water and the wind.

He just needs to wait, he tells himself, trying to push down the intense panic that is threatening to break through his years of training. Someone will come up on deck and realize he’s not there. They’ll turn the lights on and he’ll know where to go.

And if no one goes back up for him? If they think he’d already gone below deck and they’d just missed him?

The panic spikes. He keeps yelling until his voice grows hoarse. He’s shaking so hard that it’s difficult to keep his limbs moving. He can’t hear the ship anymore. Just the wind whipping around him and the waves that continually bob him up and down and the occasional clap of thunder. No one is coming, he thinks. All around him it is completely dark. Maybe he should just start swimming.

But he’s too tired. Staying put and keeping himself afloat is far easier when he doesn’t know whether swimming will actually accomplish anything at all. He thinks he is probably going to die either way. He just always thought it’d be a bullet.

His head goes under, just for a second. He pushes himself back up, gasping in the freezing air. His limbs feel like lead. He can’t keep this up for much longer. He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to die.

“Solo!” Gaby’s voice is frantic as she bursts through the door, bringing a gust of chilly air below deck with her.

Napoleon leaps to his feet immediately, nearly banging his head on the ceiling in the process. “What’s wrong?” he asks, dropping his hand of cards.

“Illya’s gone!”

“What do you mean he’s gone?”

“I mean, he was up on the deck and now he isn’t! What if he fell in?”

The ship’s captain immediately takes charge. He shouts something at the sailors in Greek and then turns to Napoleon and Gaby and asks, “are you sure he is not anywhere on the ship?”

“I didn’t see him come back down,” Napoleon says, his voice calm and even despite his fear. His heart is pounding like it’s trying to escape his chest. They’re approaching a storm and it’s freezing and pitch-black and he knows Illya is a highly trained special agent but. There are limits. He checks his watch. It’s been close to twenty minutes since Gaby last saw Illya. He could -

No. Illya is smart. He’s used to the cold. He’s alive. (He has to be).

“I want one of you to check below and make certain he is not here,” the captain says. “Some of my men will help. The other one, come with me.”

Napoleon follows him as Gaby and several sailors start looking, shouting Illya’s name.

On deck, it’s windy and horribly cold. Napoleon pulls his coat tightly around himself and stares into the blackness.

“We need light!” he shouts over the roar of the waves.

“Any second!” the captain shouts back.

Sure enough, within a few seconds, the ship’s lights come on. These should help Illya see them, but they also need to be able to see him.

“Do you have a searchlight?” Napoleon shouts.

“They should be working on it now!”

The searchlight takes a bit longer to turn on, but in under a minute it, too, is lit up. For what seems to Napoleon to be a terribly long time, it swings in arcs over the water and shows nothing but the waves.

He hears Illya before he sees him. His voice is faint but it’s all Napoleon has been straining his ears for. He picks it out easily.

“Illya!” he shouts, as loudly as he possibly can. “Point it that way!” he calls to the man operating the searchlight, gesturing to the rough direction from which he’d heard Illya’s voice.

The light swings over, and just like that Illya is there, on the ship’s right side, slowly swimming towards them. Napoleon runs across the deck to get as close to Illya as he can, nearly slipping and falling in the process.

There’s quite a bit of shouting going on around him, most of it in Greek, and then the engines cut out. He hadn’t realized how much noise they’d been making until it had disappeared. The sea sounds wilder now, without their interference.

The ship drifts forwards under its own inertia, buffeted from the left by waves. Napoleon looks out over the railing and resists the urge to just jump in and grab Illya. He knows the crew know what to do, but Illya is right there and yet he’s so very far away.

Illya slowly moves closer and closer to the ship. One crewman tosses a thick, knotted rope into the water. Several others grab onto its other end. Napoleon stands there and for once in his life has absolutely no idea what to do. He just stares down into the water.

Eventually, after what feels like a lifetime, Illya reaches the side of the boat and grabs onto the rope. In the meantime, Napoleon has been joined by Gaby, who is now grabbing his arm so tightly it hurts. He feels like he can barely breathe, can barely move.

The fishermen pull Illya over the railing with ease, and just like that Napoleon remembers how to move. He surges forwards and again almost slips and falls. Illya is standing, sort of, supported by several crewmen. He’s shivering violently and his skin is nearly blue.

Napoleon wants to grab onto him, to assure himself that he’s alive, to stop the shivering, but the fishermen pull Illya away and bustle him below deck before Napoleon even realizes that they’re moving.

He and Gaby follow them down. They’re shunted to the side as the crewmen work, stripping Illya of his soaked clothes, toweling him off, and dressing him in ill-fitting but dry clothes with shocking speed. Throughout the process, Illya seems barely conscious. His eyes are open and he’s mostly sitting up on the table that up until recently had been the site of their card game, but he isn’t really looking at anything and he’s shaking so hard that Napoleon thinks it must hurt.

“We need warmth,” one of the men says, looking at Napoleon and Gaby for the first time.

“Take my coat,” Napoleon offers automatically, peeling it off. He steps closer and this time the men let him. He wraps his coat around Illya. Three of the fishermen and Gaby follow suit, pulling off coats and sweaters and handing them to Napoleon. He tucks the layers around Illya as best as he can. Illya reaches up with shaking hands and pulls them tighter around himself.

“What now?” Napoleon asks, turning to the sailors.

“Take him to a bunk,” says the man who had spoken before.

“Use mine.” This is the captain, returning from above deck. “It is larger, and has many blankets.”

The captain himself helps Napoleon move Illya to his bunkroom. Gaby follows just behind them, her arms weighed down with additional layers of clothing and blankets from bunks that the sailors had given up. They settle Illya onto the bed, and the captain leaves to attend to his crew.

After piling all of the additional warm layers around and on top of Illya, Napoleon and Gaby join him on the bed, which is roomier than the rest of the crew’s beds but not nearly big enough to comfortably fit three people. Nevertheless, they manage. Napoleon, being significantly closer to Illya’s size, takes on the task of providing body heat.

With Gaby’s help, they shift Illya onto his side, and Napoleon positions himself so that their chests are pressed together. He pulls Illya as close as he can, wrapping arms and legs around him. Even beneath all the warm, dry layers, he can feel that Illya is still cold. At least his skin is no longer blue. There’s even a tiny bit of pink returning to his cheeks. He’s still shivering, but less intensely than he had been before.

The bed creaks slightly ominously beneath them as Gaby adjusts herself. She’s wrapped around Illya from the other side, her arms woven in between Napoleon’s. One of her hands finds one of his. She’s shaking, Napoleon realizes, and then promptly discovers that he’s shaking, too. He takes a deep breath, but it catches in his throat before he can fully exhale. God, he’d been scared.

But everything is okay now. He focuses on that fact for all he’s worth. Illya is alive and he’s warming up bit by bit (even now, his skin feels less cold to the touch). They are all together, crammed closer than they have ever been before. They are intact.

Outside, the ship sails deeper into the storm. The lights in the cabin flicker. Napoleon pulls both of his partners closer still, holding onto them as though they will fall away if he lets go even just a little bit.

Eventually, both Illya and Gaby fall asleep. Neither one of them is shaking anymore. Napoleon remains awake, and keeps holding on.

thanks for reading! i did a bunch of research for this fic but somehow forgot to google whether the mediterranean really ever gets this cold. the consensus seems to be like, maybe? so we'll just pretend that this is an especially cold day. anyways i hope you enjoyed! byeeeee

#whumptober2022 #no.18 #treading water #take my coat #the man from uncle #fic #illya kuryakin #cold #shivering #wet #hypothermia #my writing #i say things #guess what i turn 20 in two weeks. fucked up. who is letting time pass like this?

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