workin on a new character :33 lmk whatchu think!!!!! shes inspired by the line in hang ‘em high “the angel just cut out her tongue, call her black mariah” i just thought that would be cool asf as a killjoy name and these r just kind of scraps but we’ll see haha

[constructive criticism is v much appreciated]

Personal headcanons for Jumin

A/N: Hello guys!^^ Here’s a list of some hcs i have for Jumin, i always wanted to write them down and finally took the time to do so. Hope you like it!!  Oh there are a few nsfw ones at the end too, those are hidden under the cut :3 Have fun!! 

Appearance:

the moment it starts raining or snowing his hair gets wild and stands up in all different directions. Which is really annoying if he is about to attend a meeting or a photoshoot

has really broad shoulders, perfect for leaning onto them if you need it. (they got broader in hid teenage years from his swimming. does that make sense??)

has very long, legs and is very sturdy and also tall boi confirmed

doesn’t really have a six pack, because I think he’d focus mostly on cardio training when he exercises. it keeps him healthy

has really nice large hands, a little bit veiny, with long straight fingers, uses lotion over the night to keep them soft

Jumin has little to no beard growth, so he is always clean shaved, otherwise there would just be a few stubbles here and there and he doesn’t like that. (loves it when you’re shaving him- he trusts you completely)

Relationship

Jumin loves it when you start pouting after he teased you -  it’s cute

cares a lot about your wellbeing and your health, so if there’s a problem he’d love to help you in every way possible. 

loves to watch you when you’re knitting, stitching, dancing, painting, writing - everything. You’re very fascinating to him, and he loves it when you poke out your tongue while you’re focused on your task. 

loves cooking with you and trying out new recipes

he definitely spoils you. Saw something you like? Jumin will make sure to buy it for you. Want to go out with him? He’d take you to all the super expensive restaurants you never even dared to set a foot inside. 

When you work in a job you don’t want to quit, even though Jumin already made himself very clear you don’t have to work, he’d support you at all times

When you both had a stressful day he’d draw in a bath for you two. He loves bathing with you, it saves water but also calms him down a lot. Jumin loves to scrub your back and massage it to get rid of the stress. He definitely plays with your hair then too, while you cover Jumin in foam (i bet he lit up some candles and got two glasses of wine for you too!!) 

At night you two always get ready for bed together, while changing clothes, brushing teeth and everything you talk about this and that

loves slow dancing in the kitchen with you, before you two cook together.

His eyes always sparkle when you two sit right in front of each other when you’re eating dinner. 

At official parties/ other festivities Jumin always makes sure to show everybody you belong to him, from time to time he’d share small pecks with you or squeeze your shoulders when he stands behind you 

His eyes are always following you, a proud smile on his lips, but the moment he sees somebody hitting on you he will pop out of nowhere and put an arm around your waist, smoothly joining the conversation, maybe even give you a quick kiss. 

since he never really received many hugs - he would have to get used to them at first, but after a while he’ll grow quite fond of them and every other physical contact. Jumin loves to cuddle with you after a hard day of work or right after he wakes up.

He loves to be the big spoon, the way you fit perfectly in his arms as if you were made for each other. But from time to time when the threads come back and pull tighter around his chest or after he wakes up from a nightmare he loves to lean onto you or to be the little spoon. With his head on your chest, your heartbeat in his ear, your hands softly stroking his black hair and the soft words you whisper he’d feel safe and at ease. 

This young man would never miss the chance to sleep right next to you and his beloved Elizabeth the 3rd

Oh btw he really loves it when you cuddle with her, his most beloved angels get along so well and that makes his heart jump and skip a beat.

NSFW (ok so this is just me being horny af- sorry >.<)

Appearance: 

Jumin gives off quite the big dick energy so… there’s gotta be something to it. I mean he’s got a pretty nice nose after all and you know what they say… 

I don’t think he is clean shaved, maybe he does it from time to time but I don’t think he cares a lot about it. 

has a clean shaved chest though (it’s like his beard growth- only a few hairs every few centimeters, so it would look very weird if he’d let them grow)

has some veins on his penis (one of them is pretty long) 

now his pretty fingers come in handy too!!! 2. While doing the do:

Jumin loves to feel your smooth skin on his own. It reminds him of cashmere and silk, two of his favourite feelings on his skin. 

The young man loves the way you draw circles on his chest or his inner thigh- this really gets him going, and leaves a burning sensation on his skin. The higher you go up on his thigh  (or the deeper you wander on his torso) the more he yearns for your touch right where a suspicious bulge starts to grow >.< 

he loves to blindfold you, or to tie you up with one of his ties... 

ok let’s not lie here, he loves bdsm and i don’t think there are a lot of things he wouldn’t try out with you

He also asks for your consent!!! Always! Thats very important to him

also safe sex is very important to him too, I bet he makes sure you’re both healthy before doing the do

would never do something you don’t like or don’t want to do. 

loves receiving but is also very down to give and get you in the mood more than enough. He’s only ready when you are already writhing beneath him, moaning his name over and over again. 

He loves to watch you please yourself, that way he gets to know what you love the most, it also turns him on so bad. 

He doesn’t like to masturbate on his own, but when he’s on a business trip or you are staying somewhere else (wait that would be strang ebut oh well) he’d be down for some dirty words you exchange over the phone, only then or when he needs to relieve some pressure he’d give himself a few strokes, twists and turns. But he misses you all the way. 

The first few times he’d hide his boner, but after being together for a quite while he’d just walk right up to you, either whispering into your ear or hugging you from behind to let you know that his thoughts are running wild

Jumin loves to tease… in every way. 

ice cubes

deep thrusts

he would never admit it, but Jumin really likes it when you roll him over and take control. 

tries to give you shivers while doing the do, lets his fingers or his lips merely brush over your skin to drive you insane. 

when you’re doing doggy style he loves to pull your hair (especially when you still have a ponytail - then he wraps it around his hand and pulls just enough to not hurt you)

deep thrusts

loves the feeling of you tight around his dick, especially when you reach your peak

with your fingernails digging inside his skin, trying to pull him tighter in your embrace, wishing you would never have to part away from him anymore... 

never was into sending dick pics, only if you’d like to receive one (but it’ll be a bit blurry after all), but if you like to send him a naughty pic he always loses his composure. 

it drives him wild when you play all innocent. especially when you wear lace underwear/ lingerie, nice clothes (which are also revealing), a collar, cat ears, or a cat tail... >.<

He loves to hold you in his arms when he cums, and likes the feeling of his twitching member inside of you...

is all in for aftercare, and maybe some more rounds after that! 

but also gets very sleepy afterwards and cuddly. 

that’s it! Bye^^

Ridiculously in love with your writing so giving another one😂

So read reports that Christian pulisic maybe going back to the bundesliga to play for Bayern so maybe you could write one on that where he feels guilty for not having been able to probably make it work in Chelsea. He’s been with his fiance since they were like 12 and she’s a British citizen and an arsenal fan so she was definitely the happiest when they moved to london as because she runs her own company and their main office is in London. Christian feels like a crap fiancé also because now she’ll have to travel up and down every other week like she did when they were in Dortmund, and she’s done and sacrificed so much for him and he couldn’t even make it work so she can be in her hometown for once and also be with her family, plus they’re looking to start a family so this travelling business and not having grandparents around the corner isn’t ideal either. With all this plus not starting games plus family stuff weighing him down, he starts to be distant from her and she obviously notices. She gives him a bit of space at the beginning but then quickly realises that they should talk about it like they always have in their relationship. So she brings it up and he lets out everything and she’s like “ don’t be stupid, I want the best for your career and if that’s in freaking Finland well go there, you’ve had a tough year and not the ideal start to your time at Chelsea ans that’s okay. Everyone has set backs but we need to make a comeback so we’re gonna do what’s best for you and then go from there. Europe is small and London to Munich or wherever it is isn’t too bad at all, plus you know I genuinely like travelling for work. And when the kids come we’ll just figure out a schedule that puts them first and have you seen our parents, they’re gonna be coming and seeing us all the time. It’s fine, we’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be just fine” and then Christian is just crying by then because how did he get so lucky blah blah blah... can’t wait for this one xxxxxx

Long Distance Love ♡

𝖧𝖺𝗁𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎! 𝖨 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 (𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗅)...𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗌 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝖻𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝖾 😅𝗑

January 10 2021

Suddenly, you felt him stir slightly, readjusting his arms that were snaked around your body, which made your head shoot up to gaze at him, seeing his eyes fluttering open and a lazy smile creep upon his lips as he leaned into a kiss. His arms were quick to pull your waist against his so your head was flat on his chest, listening to the peaceful sound of his heartbeat, instantly making you feel at home. You little moment was cut short when his phone went off and he rushed out the room with a groan, leaving you annoyed and your heart pounding, having a feeling you knew exactly what the phone call was about, hoping he come back and give you the answer you wanted to hear...

“It’s gone through...the transfer” he sorrily spoke, making your breath hitch in your throat, although knowing it was a high possibility of the move actually happening, a part of you was certain he’d be staying here in central London for at least another year. “Guess you’d better get packing then” you softly laughed, feeling disheartened to say the least, the words of “it’s happening” not being the ones you wanted to fall from his lips, “look can we talk about this properly-“ he began, reaching for your hand as you swiftly dodged his grip and made your way to the bathroom, ready for a complete meltdown about everything, “No I have to get ready for work...while I still have my own business” you trailed off, letting the door close behind you with a slam...

————————————————

January 2 2019

"The real question is, how did I get so lucky?" you giggled before he gently pushed the mug of coffee into your hands while leaning in to plant a small kiss on your forehead. Instantly, that warm feeling flew through your body just from the smallest, loving touch he gave you, it never getting old. “Good morning, beautiful." he mumbled against your lips, before wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his head on top of yours, “and a very good morning to you handsome” you smiled, feeling the most relaxed you’ve felt in a while, lifting your gaze to him, love dancing in your eyes as you leaned in to clasp your mouths together.

"Kissing you never gets old," you mutter softly as you both pull away, Christian flashing you a cheeky grin before spotting his luggage packed and ready for the off beside the front door of your new complex, a sigh falling from his lips, “can’t believe I arrived here a week ago and I’m already flying back to Germany” he frowned, pulling a pout. “It’s only six months and it’ll be over before you know it, I’m not going to lie I will miss living over there, especially the weather” you giggled, messing up his perfectly gelled hair to which you got no thanks for, “hands off, this took ages to do” he said, pretending to be serious and grabbing your hand as if to say ‘go on do it again I dare you’. “I’m gonna miss you, the apartment’s gonna seem empty without you here...and it means I have to build all the flat pack furniture from IKEA myself” you huffed, pointing at the hundreds of cardboard boxes filling the spacious room as he laughed, culling your face and running a finger along your cheek, “you’ll be fine, we’ll FaceTime every night and whenever we have a minute spare because you’re gonna be busy as hell now...my super business woman” he winked as you shook your head, still not quite believing you actually own a company, like a whole ass company belonged to you and it was mad to just even picture it.

“Ah shut up, you’re making me blushing Mr Pullisic, now go before you miss that flight of yours” you grinned, going in for one last peck while shoving him out the door with a struggle, feeling like his clingy self wasn’t ever gonna leave, “I love you, see you in half a year” he happily said, grabbing his many cases and walking out, letting the door gently fall closed...

——————————————————

July 1 2019

The classic iPhone ping went off as an incoming text message lit up your phone screen, instantly opening the pic attachment of him saying ‘en route’ which meant he was on his way and by god you couldn’t wait to just see him in person after all this time. He barely got through the front door before you took a leap, linking your legs around his torso as his hands secured under your thighs to carry your weight. Squeezing him tight, you rested your head in the crook of his neck, enjoying his presence as a laugh escaped his lips, “missed me just a bit?” he stupidly asked, not even bothering to let you answer before smashing his lips on yours for the first time what felt like in forever.

Gently tapping your legs, he slowly placed you feet on the ground and then cupped your face, pulling you in for another long, loving kiss, “so how’s everything been then, and by the way you’ve done a good job decorating this place” he nodded, eyes gazing at all the modern interior, “funny you asked, I managed to open two more branches this week, one in Gateshead up north and the other in Manchester!” you exclaimed letting out a small squeal, not able to control your excitement any longer as his eyes went wide with joy. “I didn’t think you could make me any prouder but I guess I was wrong eh” he gushed, heading over to sort out his cases, “I’m saying the same about you” you laughed as he pulled out a couple man of the match awards along with a jersey signed by all the teammates. “It felt strange to say goodbye to them after all these years...but it’s time for a fresh start, here in London with Chelsea Fc and with you” he whispered, excited for the new chapter in your lives to finally begin.

——————————————————

The next year could only be described as perfect for the both of you, his career taking off and loving every moment at the club, getting along with everyone in the dressing room and then loving the fans and atmosphere within the stadium, and knowing you were in the stands somewhere cheering on your ‘captain America’ made it all the more special. As for you, your company was doing beyond amazing, going from National to world wide, owning buildings in Dubai, Spain and you’ll never guess where, Germany. Your main branch was of course London, where the company was founded and to which was the office you managed and were based at, meaning you rarely visited the abroad ones but you weren’t complaining, with you being a London gal to be in your home city with your own bloody business was unimaginable, not to mention you were only a 20 mins drive from your family.

Oh yeah and he popped the question about four months into the move on your eight year anniversary which you of course said yes to, already having planned out your dream wedding, the pair of you agreeing to have it here rather than America with work and travel and all that malarkey.

For the first time in ages, it all seemed to be coming together for yous...

———————————————————

January 10 2021

8 hours later and the two of you hadn’t spoken all day, with him going off to what you assumed was his last training session and proceeding to ignore you and your many questions, you decided to go to work too, trying to get this whole moving countries once again after only one fucking year back home thing off your mind.

“Right that’s it, you’re going to talk to me Christian because you must think I’m a mind reader or something and I can just tell what’s going in in that brain of yours” you said, stumbling through the door and throwing your keys in the side before throwing yourself on the sofa beside your sad looking boyfriend. “I’m sorry” was all he could say, looking down at the ground leaving you with a confused frown on your face, “enough with the apologies, I just want to know what this means, for us” you sighed, placing a hand on his cheek and giving it a small pinch, hoping it’d put a smile on his lips.

“Well I’m definitely leaving Chelsea, guess not everything works out...but it means I’m back off to Germany” he said as you slowly nodded, “you have to do what’s best for your career, ok?” you smiled, running a hand through his hair as he was quick to shake his head, “no I can’t. I don’t wanna leave you, not again. And anyways we’re supposed to be trying for a baby and that’s going to be a challenge if we’re in different countries don’t you think?” he’s spoke with a slight laughter. “I’m not arguing with you Pullisic, go and sign that contract and get yourself away to Germany to revive your job. I’m not saying I’m going to drop everything and move again because I have my work and life, but I can easily fly out and visit, you’re forgetting I have an office over there. As for kids, we’ll get to that part when it comes around...so just take one step at a time and get on the phone to your agent to tell him you’re taking the transfer” you blurted out with a soft smile, knowing exactly what you were saying and that this was just another step in your life, at the end of the day, life isn’t life without it’s challenges along the way...❤️

———————————————

If you got this far reading it, I hope you enjoyed it! x

@kingkepa @champagne-coys @footballcloud @footballmagical @alexajanecollins @masonmounts @hoely-pavard @hazardybala @jamesmaddiscnx

My Roommate’s a Demonic Deer Ch2 (Day 2)

AO3 Link Summary: Anthony wakes to find the demon gone, unfortunately, not for long, and then comes home to find quite a nice surprise. Words: 1,586 ~~~ Anthony snored as he lied on his air mattress bed, cuddling cutely with a rifle and had the door open a smidge. His alarm clock went off on his nightstand, causing him to quickly sit up and hold up his rifle at the door. He gave fast and heavy breaths, while his eyes darted back-and-forth in panic. When Anthony saw nothing, he let out a breath and turned to turn off the alarm.

The boy brushed his hair back and hopped out of bed, still clutching the rifle in his hand. Anthony walked out of the bedroom and looked around the place. He first touched the radio and a spark immediately popped out, but the radio was bone-dry, despite that...red, antler-having weirdo splashing water, as well as the floor. Anthony mumbled, “Well, that’s...freaky, but nothin’ too bad.”

The man walked around his apartment more, stepping around the makeshift pentagram that had burnt out candles around it, and went towards the kitchen. Anthony caught sight of the dried up blood on the knife that lied in the exact spot as it was before on the counter. Other than the knife, nothing else had changed. Once he was done looking around the small place, he sighed loudly, “Oh thank fuck it was jus’ a damn dream! Holy fuck! Maybe it’s time to not take ecstasy from Craigslist.”

Anthony tossed the rifle onto the couch and groaned as he stretched out his limbs, listening to his bones pop. He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, walking back to the pentagram,  “Alright, time ta get this place cleaned up before-”

Before he could finish, the door to his apartment slammed open, causing the doorknob to make a dent in the wall. However, Anthony was more worried about that radio man that stood in the doorway, exclaiming, “Well that was the most disappointing meal I had in my life and death! Hahaha! It was picking at the scraps on bones that scavengers leave behind, not to mention the greasy taste. Seriously, Anthony, you need meatier neighbors, if you want me to keep- oh…” Alastor trailed off when he saw Anthony holding a rifle up to him on the couch and the mortal warned, “Back off, pezzo di merda, unless ya want your brains decoratin’ my walls!”

The demon blinked at him, tilting his head and making a weird static sound. Al took a step forward, grabbed the barrel of the gun, and bent it upwards effortlessly, causing Anthony to have all kinds of heart attacks at the moment. The radio demon just went on merrily, “Anyway, before you so rudely interrupted m-”

Anthony rudely interrupted, “Look, man, I don’ even taste good, I think. Jus’ try any of the neighbors, some of them even have kids and they’re walking sugar and sodium factories! Eat them or drink their blood or suck their organs out of their body like Freddy Krueger, just leav-”

A zipper formed on Anthony’s mouth and zipped his lips shut, making him somewhat panic. Alastor rubbed his temple and grumbled, “You mortals are so irritating to listen to, I swear! As much as I would love to paint this whole entire filthy apartment with your equally disgusting blood, I will not do that yet! I’m just simply here to work out the arrangement of our deal, okay. Not for anything else!” Anthony unzipped his lip and asked, “So, why dontcha jus’ leave!? There’s a whole world of humans jus’ ripe for the pic-” he got stopped again by the zipper, while the radio demon clarified, “I do not fix radios and I don’t only eat people, for fucks sake! Also…I cannot exactly leave too far. Let’s just leave it at that. So, make a deal with me, a real one, so I can go back home!”

Anthony groaned, unzipping his mouth and running a hand through his hair, “Look, I jus’ really needed ta get my radio fixed, that’s it!”

“Go buy a new one!”

“.....No,” Anthony simply said. Alastor’s eye twitched as he suddenly towered over the mortal, while his eyes turned to dials and his antlers grew out. It seemed like it got darker behind him as if he attracted darkness, causing Anthony to sink down into the couch cushions as if he was hoping to disappear into the fabric. Ruins started floating around Al’s head before he finally deflated and he mumbled, “Oh...forget it. I can’t believe that you, of all the morons in the living world, would be the one to summon me, especially for something so trivial.”

The human thought for a few seconds and then grinned as he lied across the couch in a sensual way, making sure to move his shirt up to show his stomach as well as a few healing bruises on his torso. He grinned, “Well, I can entice ya inta a bit of sin, if ya want~ Just need ta help me undress~”

Alastor blinked down at him and questioned, “How is helping you undress a sin? If anything that’s a good thing.”

Anthony blinked at him and sat up, staring at the demon and wondering how dim that man seemed to be. He was about to be clearer, but then he heard his phone jingle in his bedroom, making him groan. He stood up and then glanced at Al, commanding, “Don’t ya dare move.”

Alastor raised an eyebrow and questioned, “Where would I even go?”

Anthony rolled his eyes at Alastor and went into his bedroom, taking the phone off of the charger. He saw the message the moment that he clicked it on, seeing it from “V”.

V: Tony baby, I got a small question for you: Where. Are. You?

A sudden wave of nausea hit the boy as he hugged himself with one of his arms and then quickly grabbed a bag from his closet, while running towards the bathroom to freshen up a bit. He wasn’t even supposed to be working today and no one sent him a message about coming in, especially this early!

Anthony went running out of his bedroom and he barely saw when Alastor was changing up his furniture to be a bit more lavish. Al looked shocked at seeing the mortal run past him, grabbing some crackers, and then went running out the door. He tilted his head, making an odd static sound, and then shrugged his shoulder. The moron was probably just late for work, and he seemed like the kind of idiot to do that. Although, despite thinking that, the demon felt a little sick. ~~~ Anthony came back into the hotel around 7pm, wearing sunglasses, and saw that his landlord had left an ice-pack on the table. He peeked into her office and saw her just typing away on her computer. He felt the ice pack and noticed that it was somewhat cool, which was good enough. The boy let out a long sigh, took off his sunglasses, and placed the pack on his black eye.

When he was about to go upstairs, the landlord spoke to him, “By the way, I like the renovations that you made to your apartment, just tell me next time when I make my rounds. Also, tell your neighbor on your left that he needs to get his mail.”

Anthony barely registered her words and felt his heart drop at renovations, making him wonder what fresh hell the man brought to his room. As he was running to the elevator, he shouted to the landlady, “Roger is dead by the way!”

The landlady stopped typing for a few seconds…..and then went back to working, mumbling, “Meh. He was a jackass anyway” ~~~ Anthony immediately opened up his door to his apartment and saw slight changes done. First of all, it was much cleaner and the smell of stale sex was out of the air. The boy walked across the shiny, hardwood floors that used to be stained carpet, and stared up in awe at the new grey, wooden-looking entertainment wall that was just a small table that he had his flat-screen on.

He quickly turned around and saw that his sofa was gone, instead replaced with a three-seat sofa as well as a leather, wingback chair right next to it. They both sat on a plush-looking rug that Anthony just wanted to roll around on. The kitchen looked pretty much the same except for a bigger fridge and sconce light fixtures near the ceiling.

Anthony heard movement within his bedroom and slowly moved forward, opening up the door. He saw Alastor seemed to be messing with a painting, but all the mortal could pay attention to was the bed. It was no longer an air mattress that would slowly deflate over time, but a french style, double bed that had nice looking sheets that wouldn’t tear from a baby yanking at it. Plus, it had a comfy looking comforter on top as well as plush pillows.

Alastor turned to the human and grinned, “Ah, Anthony, there you are! Your apartment was so disgusting that I think it gave me a feeling of nausea and regret. So, I decided to spruce up the place a bit. Plus, I also filled up your fridge, so it wasn’t just condiments and random, old fast food. So, what do you think?”

….Ok. Maybe Tony can deal with a demon for a few more days.

Al then brought up, “Still didn’t fix the radio.”

Anthony mumbled, “Oh, fuck you.”

Male Spider Monster Silus x Gender Neutral Reader (SFW)

Note: This is my first piece of writing in a very long time and my first exophilia story. Written for the awesome OkCryptid Collab. Its also the first instalment of a series of stories I’m currently working on.

A huge thanks goes to @thetravelerwrites for proofreading/editing this piece. She’s an absolute star and fantastic writer, who dedicates a lot of her time to this community, supporting other writers and helping readers find exophilia works by maintaining both the OkCryptid Masterlist & the Exophilia Creators Masterlist. So go give her your love and support over on her blog.

Without further ado, here’s 4,124 words of human/monster romance. Hope you enjoy it.

Sitting at your desk, trying to write the newest chapter of your latest novel, you sigh when you her a ping from your mobile. In all honesty, the distraction is welcome; you’ve been suffering from a major case of writer's block and you’d take any excuse to put your work aside.

Checking your notifications, you sigh again when you see it’s from OkCryptid, the monster and cryptid dating app created to help monsters find mates, that you’d downloaded a couple of weeks beforehand. You had hoped it would give you a better chance at finding the one but so far you’d had the same amount of luck that you had with every other app on the market. Which was none.

You hadn’t been on a date in months. Your last relationship was over three years ago and so far things weren’t looking very positive with this new dating app. Since joining, there were very few matches and all the messages you’d received were either from men just looking to hook up for that night or they were dick pics. You couldn’t fathom why anyone thought that sending a picture of their dick would somehow seduce you but they did it anyway.

Taking a deep breath, you check to see what it’s notifying you off and you see that you have a new match and have been sent a new message from a user named Silus. Swearing to yourself that if it’s another unsolicited picture you were deleting the app, you open the message first without bothering to check his profile. No point in getting your hopes up before seeing what he’s sent you.

[Sent: 2:47pm] Silus: Hey, how are you today? I’ve recently just moved to the area and we’ve matched… So I thought I’d just say hi…

Well, that was a good start. It's certainly the nicest message you’ve received so far. Deciding to check his profile, you gasp, seeing that he’s an arachnid, specifically a spider type, which you’d never seen before.

Most arachnids chose to avoid the city, mainly due to their size and their preference for solitude. They weren’t known to be the most social of creatures and, despite being known to the general public for a couple of centuries, were one of the few species that shunned modern society, choosing to remain in forests or caves far from civilization. You weren’t sure if this was because of their nature or due to the fact that they were one of the few monsters many humans, and even some other monsters, still feared. Even those who weren’t outright scared of arachnid type monsters were still wary and uncomfortable around them.

You’re not sure how you feel about them, never having actually met one but you’re not exactly a fan of spiders. While you aren’t scared of them, they did make you squeamish. Shuddering thinking of the large spider you had to remove from your flat the day before, you decide to at least check over Silus’s profile and pictures.

His profile bio was short and sweet: he stated his name, age, and sexual orientation before going on to say that he loved plants and flowers, music, poetry and going for walks in the moonlight. He’d also added that he had just moved to the city and was looking to make new friends and hopefully find a mate. He had a gallery full of pictures, which were mostly pictures of various types of flowers, but he had a couple of himself.

Enlarging the first picture of himself, which was a selfie of just his face and torso, you were pleasantly surprised to find that you didn’t mind his spider features. His head and body was humanoid in shape, his skin incredibly pale and his very long, very straight hair was a shiny white. He had four eyes that were completely black with no sclera, those eyes sat in a row, with two larger in the centre and two smaller either side of those. His mouth was wide and in the photo he was grinning, showing that he had nothing but two large fangs in his upper jaw. His shoulders were broad and his torso was well built, with clearly defined muscles though he wasn’t overly muscular.

Swiping through his photos, you find another picture of him, this one being a full body shot which was clearly taken from a small distance. Here you could see his lower body where is torso ended and joined with his spider half, which looked large and bulbous, black in colour but covered in fine white hair which looked fuzzy. Attached to this body were eight long jointed legs which were also covered in fine white hairs. His legs looked as thick as tree trunks and you couldn’t be sure from looking at the photo but he looked huge.

This part of his body did make you apprehensive, and the more you look at it the worse you feel. Flicking between the two pictures you couldn’t decide if you were attracted to him or not. On one hand you found him incredibly beautiful, with his large pitch black eyes that you could easily get lost in and his gorgeous sleek looking hair and toned upper body. He also seemed sweet natured and had a lovely smile despite the fangs.

On the other hand, his spider lower half gave you the shivers and those long legs creeped you out. You cringed looking at them again and even thinking about those legs in motion made you shudder. Chewing on your lip you debated with yourself; you’d matched with him so obviously you had things in common and you didn’t have to jump into a relationship with him. You could always be friends first and see if it went anywhere. You just weren’t sure you could get over those eight legs…

Ping.

Startled, you look back at your phone which had gone to sleep at some point during your mental debate, and you see you have received another message from Silus.

[Sent: 3:16pm] Silus: I like your profile by the way, you’re very beautiful.... We must have a lot in common, I’ve been using this app for over a year now and I’ve never seen such a high percentage match...

Checking you see that he’s right, you’ve matched with him eighty-eight percent which was much higher than any other match you’d had and from everything you’d heard it was really rare to get a match that high. It was just your luck he had to be an arachnid, he seemed really nice too. Deciding to think further on it and make a decision later, you go back to writing, after all your novel wasn’t going to write itself.

A couple of hours later, feeling like you’ve made a lot of progress, you decide it’s time for some food. However a quick search around the kitchen reminds you that you’ve not been shopping in days. Take-away it is then.

Ping!

Frowning you see you’ve gotten another message from Silus, thinking he’s getting a little pushy, you open it to read.

[Sent: 5:30pm] Silus: Hey again, so I was thinking… I would understand if your not interested, many people don’t like arachnids…. I know a lot of people, especially humans are scared of my kind… But I hope you’ll give me a chance and see I’m not scary at all… or maybe your just busy or at work... Sorry...

Crap! You’d forgotten that your settings had been set to send read receipts. He knows you’ve read his messages and now thinks you’re ignoring him. You wonder how often that happens to him, he sounds so dejected and now you feel bad. He’d said in his earlier message that he’d been using the app for over a year so that meant he’d not had much luck finding someone. A bit like me then, thinking to yourself. Looking at his pictures again, you come to a decision.

[Sent: 5:32pm] You: Hi Silus, I’m good thanks and I was working… I am interested but to be honest I’ve never met an arachnid before and I’m unsure how I feel about it.

Silus: Oh my gosh, you replied :-) Thank you! It’s okay that you feel that way, at least you’re willing to give me a chance…

Silus: Lots of people are afraid of spiders and by extension spider monsters but honestly I wouldn’t hurt a fly…

Silus: …Well that’s a lie and probably a bad example, but really I’m not scary in the slightest…

Chuckling, you rather like Silus’s sense of humour though you’re not sure he was aiming to be funny. He was so sweet and seemed really surprised that you’d replied. Makes you wonder again how many people have ignored him just because of what he is.

You: Lol! I’m not scared of spiders exactly but they do make me uncomfortable… I’d like to get to know you though...

You: So… how are liking city life?

*************

You and Silus spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other. You learn that he works as a florist, that he’s renting a flat in the city centre and is flat sharing with a moth monster. Which did surprise you as you thought that their two species have a turbulent history. He asks what you do for work and then about the novel you’re currently writing.

The two of you end up talking long into the night and at some point you fall asleep still mid conversation. As soon as you wake up you're checking your phone for messages from Silus. You have two, the first answering the question you’d asked just before falling asleep and a second twenty minutes later where he says that he assumes you’ve falling asleep and to have sweet dreams.

Smiling to yourself, you send him a message confirming that you did in fact fall asleep and that you’re sorry about that. You then decide to get up and start your day. An hour later Silus is messaging you good morning and telling you not to worry about it. The two of you spend the rest of the morning chatting until he has to go to work. He messages again once he’s home from work and you spend the evening in the same manner as the night before.

The rest of the week followed the same pattern, work, eat and chat to Silus. By this point the two of you had swapped mobile numbers and were now communicating via both text and call. He had the loveliest voice and often during calls you forgot that you had to respond. Meeting in person wasn't a subject brought up until exactly one week after you’d first started chatting.

You were just sitting, eating lunch when you heard the ping of your mobile.

[Sent: 2:13pm] Silus: Afternoon gorgeous, are you free this evening? If you are, would you like to get a drink in town?

Taking a deep breath, you think it over, you really liked Silus and were pretty confident now that the two of you could really have something good together. Him being an arachnid no longer made you uncomfortable, at least in theory, but you were incredibly nervous. What if you saw him in person and you couldn’t see past those eight legs, you didn’t want to hurt him. Or what if when he saw you, he thought you weren’t as attractive in person. A previous date had told you that you looked thinner in your photos after all. You sigh, either way you had to know, for both your sakes.

You: Afternoon, I am free tonight and that would be lovely. Where were you thinking?

Silus: Great! :-D My flatmate works in this bar and restaurant which caters for folks like us, called The Bears Den, does that sound okay to you? It’s in city centre.

You: Yes of course! What time?

Silus: 6pm? Shall I come pick you up or would you rather we meet there?

You: 6 works for me. I’ll just meet you there, no point in you leaving the city centre to come collect me :-) I’ll get the bus, will only take me twenty minutes.

Silus: If you’re sure, I don’t mind the extra journey, I’d travel hours to pick you up ;-)

You: Lol, your so sweet but yes I’m sure. I’ll see you there at 6.

Silus: Alright then, I’ll meet you outside the bar. See you later gorgeous… can’t wait.

You: Me either! See you soon!

Checking the clock, you see that it was already 2:30pm and you had no idea what you were going to wear. Deciding your best bet would be to call your fashion-forward best friend and get her advice, your frustrated when she doesn’t answer. Oh well best go raid your wardrobe.

************

Your shaking with nerves by the time you get there and of course your twenty minutes early. Standing outside the bar feeling like an utter twit, you inspect the building. The outside is painted a glossy black and the name of the bar is painted in gold cursive above the very wide, very tall doors. It looked nice. Through the glass in the doors you could see the place already had a good number of patrons despite the early time.

You’re surprised and jump in shock when you hear your name spoken softly from behind you. Spinning around you come face to face with Silus, well more accurately you came face to stomach with Silus, because he was huge. Your breath catches in your throat and you gaze in astonishment at his form.

His large spider lower body was lowered to just inches off the ground and his long legs were arched upwards, their height reached to his human torso before coming back down to the ground. This close you could see that he had three claws at the end of each of those legs. Shifting your gaze back up, you took notice that he was wearing a smart midnight blue shirt before your attention was brought to his hands, which he was wringing togethering in nervousness. Looking to his face you could see that he looked wary but his mouth was turned up into a tentative smile.

It’s only when he quietly says your name and asks if you're alright that you realise that you’ve stood there just staring at him for the past two minutes. Giving yourself a mental shake you manage to give him a nod.

‘‘Yes! I’m good, thanks! Um... hi...’’ you giggle nervously.

‘‘Hi...’’ he replies, smile widening. ‘You still want to do this?’’

‘‘Yes, of course, sorry! Shall we go in?’’ You stammer.

Holding the door open for you, he shakes his head ‘‘No need to be sorry, I know I’m a lot to process.’’

‘‘Um... just a bit, I wasn’t expecting you to be so... big,’’ you stammer, as you pass under his arm into the bar.

‘‘Does it bother you?’’ He asks, as you make your way to the bar.

Shaking your head and giving him a smile over shoulder, you glance around the bar and see the vast majority of patrons are other non-humans. Behind the bar serving you spot a lizardfolk, who looks like a leopard gecko and a white tiger rakshasa. The rakshasa looks your way and raises a brow when he clocks Silus at your side. Making his way down the bar with a large grin on his face, you hear Silus let out a groan and suddenly he leans down to whisper in your ear, ‘‘He’s a harmless flirt.’’

‘‘What?’’ You stammer, but before he can say anything else the Rakshasa is standing in front of you and leaning over the bar to clasp Silus’s hand.

‘‘Ayaan,’’ Silus nods.

‘‘Silus,’’ rumbles the rakshasa, ‘‘It’s been awhile. Who’s your cute friend?’’ He says looking at you and giving you a wink.

Silus makes the introductions and as you give Ayaan your hand to shake, he leans down to kiss the back of your hand and gives you a cheeky grin. You understand now what Silus meant. Turning to Silus, Ayaan asks ‘‘Does Rowan know you’re out on a date?’’

‘‘Yes, and he’s upset he’s not here to see it’’ Silus replies, laughing. You give him a questioning look, but he just shakes his head at you and mouth’s later.

Turning back to Ayaan and ordering your drinks you head to a table towards the back of the bar where it’s quieter. Whilst you sit on a chair, Silus pushes the chair opposite you towards another table and lowers his spider body to the floor shifting his legs to a comfortable position. As you watch him do this, it occurs to you that your not feeling squeamish like you feared you might. In fact, your itching to lean over and see if those hairs are as fuzzy as they look. Giving Silus a smile, you see that he’s gazing just as intensely at you.

‘‘You’re very beautiful,’’ he says, swallowing nervously.

‘‘Thank you. So are you,’’ you reply, blushing.

‘‘No I’m not,’’ he says sadly, fixing you a look. ‘‘I look monstrous, I know that… but thank you for saying it anyway.”

Shaking your head you reply, ‘‘Yes, you are! You’re gorgeous, Silus…. at least you are to me, anyway,’’ you mumble shyly, reaching over the table to grasp his hand and squeezing it briefly.

Silus blushes prettily, looking at your hands shyly. Turning his hand around to clasp yours in a soft hold. ‘‘Thank you,’’ he says, sounding choked.

Hoping to distract him, you ask ‘‘So.. Is Ayaan a good friend of yours?’’

‘‘Oh yeah,’’ he replies shaking his head as if coming out of a daze, ‘‘I met him through Rowan.’’

‘‘And Rowan is? And why is he upset that he’s not here?’’ You ask raising a brow.

Chucking he replies, ‘‘Sorry, Rowans my flatmate and he’s upset because he thinks I’m probably going to make a fool of myself and he’s not here to see it…’’

‘‘Oh. Well... you haven’t, so he’s not missing anything,’’ you smile. “Is it his night off then?’’ You ask.

Shaking his head, ‘‘Nope, he would usually be working now but he’s gone home to West Oaks to attend one of his sister's wedding.’’

‘‘West Oaks? That’s where your from too right?’’ You ask.

Nodding, ‘‘Yeah... we grew up together, best friends since school. Neighbours too. We were both the youngest of all our many siblings so we spent our childhood bemoaning our lot in life.’’ He had a fond smile on his face.

‘‘You have a lot of siblings?’’ You ask sipping at your drink.

‘‘Yep! I’m one of twenty-six.’’ He grins.

‘‘No. Way.’’ you reply, sputtering.

Laughing, Silus nods ‘‘Arachnids tend to lay a lot of eggs... Moths do too, actually, Rowan is one of thirty.’’

‘‘Oh wow! No wonder the two of you banded together,’’ You say stunned.

‘‘Yeah, so when Ro decided he wanted to move to the city, I told him I was coming with,’’ Silus chuckles.

‘‘And.. do you like it here?’’

‘‘Yeah, it’s nice,’’ he tells you nodding. ‘‘Very different from living rurally, of course, and I miss the forest sometimes, but there’s a lot of good things about living in the city.’’

Before you can reply to that, Ayaan is suddenly at your table with a massive grin on his face, startling you both. Silus jerks so badly four of his legs flick out causing Ayaan to snicker loudly.

‘‘You two looked liked you were having fun, so I thought I’d offer table service’’ he says putting another two drinks down on the table. ‘‘Drink up,’’ he says and salutes before strolling back to the bar. You see the gecko behind the bar shaking his head at Ayaan’s antics, catching your eye he gives you an apologetic look before turning to serve another customer.

‘He’s a character,’’ You laughingly say, looking back at Silus.

‘‘That’s one word to describe him,’’ he chuckles jokingly.

You and Silus spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing, as he tells you stories from his childhood and teenage years where he and Rowan would get themselves into trouble. You tell him some of your own stories in return, telling him of the shenanigans that you and your best friend regularly got up to.

The two of you are so absorbed in each other that you don’t realise how late it has gotten until you hear a loud bellow from the otherside of the bar. Glancing around you see that the place is now packed full of boisterous patrons and that you have somehow missed the fact there is now a live band on stage. Over by the pool tables there is a large minotaur and a small goblin having a tussle over a pool cue and a very large orc with a dark scowl, who is obviously security is headed their way. Behind the bar both the gecko and Ayaan are looking harried and have been joined by a harpy and some type of avian.

You and Silus come to a mutual agreement that it’s time to call it a night. As Silus leads the way out of the bar, the other patrons quickly shift out of his way and a few of them stare openly, looking wary. Whilst you enjoy the fact that no one is in your personal space and you have room to move, you also feel sad that people look at him like he might turn around and eat them. You glare fiercely at one particular customer that’s standing staring rudely open mouthed, seeing your scowl they suddenly about-turn and run in the opposite direction.

Outside, you take in a deep breath of fresh air, glad to be out in the quiet. Turning to Silus you see that he’s watching you, a soft smile on his face.

‘‘Is it always like that in there?’’ You ask.

Shaking his head in the negative he replies, ‘‘Not really. It only tends to get that busy at weekends.’’

Nodding, you began speaking only to stop suddenly seeing that another orc, who looks like the double of the one inside, working the door watching you both with a sly grin. Smiling awkwardly, you and Silus start walking in a random direction.

‘‘So... what were you going to say?’’ He asks as he looks down at you.

‘‘Oh,’’ you smile, ‘‘Just that I had a really good time tonight.’’

‘‘So did I,’’ Silus blushes. “Perhaps we could do this again sometime?’’

‘‘Definitely,’’ you grin.

‘‘Would you.. like a ride home?’’

‘‘You drive?’’ You ask incredulously, looking at his spider lower half trying to work out the logistics of that.

‘‘No...’’ he chuckles. “I meant would you like to ride me?’’

Looking at him wide eyed, you suddenly break down snorting in laugher. Confused Silus raises a questioning brow.

‘‘What?’’ He asks completely befuddled.

Trying to calm yourself, you breath in deeply and ask, “Ride you? Talk about innuendo...’’ you grin.

Frowning it takes him a second to register. “Oh! I didn’t mean…’’ he groans. ‘I just meant… um… never mind,’’ he says, shaking his head with cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.

‘‘Maybe another time,’’ you smile eyeing his large lower body. ‘I’ll take a taxi tonight.’’ You nod towards the taxi rank across the road.

‘‘Right, well. I guess I have to say goodnight then,’’ he replies, smiling wistfully.

Nodding, you glance between his eyes and mouth, getting the hint he leans down and stops a hair width distance giving you the opportunity to change your mind. You don’t. Closing the distance between you, your eyes close as your lips meet his.

A quick peck leads to another, and then another, before you know it your tongue is in his mouth and you’re carefully exploring his mouth, being mindful with his fangs. One of his hands cradles your head as the other traces patterns on your back. Both your hands start on his shoulders before slowly roaming downwards. As you reach the point where his human torso meets his spider half, you softly stoke him there, feeling his soft hair tickle your hands. Silus suddening pulls away, panting harshly.

‘‘We have to stop,’’ he gasps.

You nod, agreeing and inhaling deeply.

‘‘Text me when you’re home?’’ He asks, searching your face.

Promising him that you would, you wish him goodnight moving quickly and getting in the first taxi. Silus gives a wave as the taxi pulls away and you see him watching you until your no longer in sight. Sitting back in the seat, you touch your fingertips to your lips.

Wow. That was some kiss.

——————————————————————

That’s all folks. If you enjoyed this, please reblog. Comments/likes are always appreciated too. Thanks!

My Masterlist

Episode 4-Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Oh boy, we are back into the Ranma Rewatch and this time it’s the fourth episode, titled “Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another”. That is definitely the kind of title I remember more from this show: incredibly long and silly. I love it in any series where the titles are like half-formed sentences. As for what I’m expecting in this episode...I honestly don’t really remember. We’re already reaching the edges of my memory, so I look forward to seeing it with fresh eyes.

Yeah, I had pretty much forgotten about most of the stuff that happened in this episode, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The episode starts with Ranma having a bad dream about Kuno professing his love and asking him out. After waking up in a cold sweat, Ranma takes a bath and shenanigans happen.

There’s some cute banter between Ranma and Akane on the way to school, then a threepeat of the fight against all the guys trying to ask her out. Kuno makes an appearance at the end again, but this time he’d taken out in one combined hit from both Ranma and Akane. He’s tended to in the nurse’s office afterwards by Nabiki, who finds out from his sleep talking that he’s fallen in love with ‘the pigtailed girl’ in addition to Akane, and feels conflicted over who he should choose.

Seeing an opportunity, Nabiki abuses the fact that apparently Ranma is a heavy sleeper to activate his curse as he sleeps, takes a bunch of sexy pics, then turns him back, all without him ever waking up. Not too long later, she gets a surprise message from Kuno, asking to meet up.

He treats her to a meal, asking her the favor of delivering a cute doll he got as a present to its recipient: the pigtailed girl. Before addressing that idea, Nabiki tempts him with the sexy pictures of his new waifu, only letting him even see them if Kuno treats her to spaghetti. I thought that might be a dub change, but it’s not, either language they still go out for Italian pasta. She sells them to him for 1000 yen a pop, then asks if he’s giving up on Akane then. He clarifies that he intends to pursue them both, so Nabiki reveals there are Akane pictures available too. In exchange for free ice cream, and the same price per picture, she sells him those too.

Only with that done does she tell him how to get his present to the pigtailed girl: Ranma is the only way. She doesn’t explain why, but Kuno doesn’t dig too deeply into it. She couriers a letter to the titular protagonist, asking for a meet up, which Ranma goes to. Once it becomes clear exactly what Kuno is asking for, Ranma rebuffs him, saying he’ll never see his precious pigtailed girl ever again.

This threat becomes somewhat toothless when someone randomly dumping water out of their window activates Ranma’s curse, and Kuno quickly embraces the object of his affections. This hug becomes a little awkward when Nabiki appears and douses Ranma with hot water, and Kuno realizes who he is ‘now’ hugging. You might think this would mean he has some understanding of what’s going on, but Kuno’s immediate thought is that Ranma knows some vile sorcery.

When Nabiki realizes how dense Kuno really is, she decides to phrase it to him as Ranma ‘owning the pigtailed girl’s body and soul’, which is not technically a lie. That said, of course Kuno interprets that as meaning that somehow Ranma has the warrior woman he loves enslaved to him in some way, so a fight breaks out.

When Ranma sees the photos Kuno has on him, it distracts him enough to take a hit to the torso, just as Akane arrives. Just as Kuno starts getting serious, the air pressure from his piercing attacks alone strong enough to crack a statue apart, Ranma counteracts and wins, though it becomes clear his injury hurts like hell, even if he’s trying to ignore it.

And that’s it, no cliffhangers this time around. Now that Kuno’s love for Ranma’s alter ego has been established, the actual meat of what that means, namely how he sees them as two separate people and chases one while attacking the other, is what this episode works to make clear. It also sets up his and Nabiki’s dynamic more, but that’ll be something I talk about more in just a little bit.

There are two kind-of bigger things I want to pull out of this episode. First one being the dream sequence at the start. Now, I am fairly sure that whole bit is meant to be there for comedy, in a very ‘gay panic’ kind of way. Which honestly...does not play super well these days. Ranma’s terror at the dream, on a surface reading, has to do with him being super grossed out that some dude is in love with him.

Of course, there are other ways to read the scene as well. I’m sure some people might instead look at it as being less a nightmare and more like Ranma running away from his own possible attraction to another guy, and while that’s definitely possible, I didn’t really get that vibe at all. That said, if you did, rock on.

What I saw as more likely was a gender-based reading. Ranma is, more than anything else, freaked out by Kuno’s love declaration because it’s someone seeing him as something he’s not, a woman. Kuno isn’t interested in Ranma, he’s interested in a woman who doesn’t exist. Ranma has a lot of complicated feelings tied up in his masculinity, which his curse doesn’t exactly help with, and Kuno’s attraction to his cursed form just makes it all worse.

Speaking of attraction, let’s talk about Kuno. The fact that everyone calls his affections for two people at the same time ‘two timing’ is a bit vexing to me. As someone who has been in polyamorous relationships before, I can attest to the fact that liking more than one person at a time is totally okay, and if everyone involved is okay with it, dating multiple people is also okay.

That is kind of the problem though. Neither Akane or Ranma like Kuno, and neither is likely to want to date him, regardless of if he’s dating someone else at the time. Their problem with Kuno isn’t his dual attraction, it’s that they just plain don’t care for the guy. (And Ranma probably doesn’t swing that way, but he could be repressing it so what the hell do I know.) Even with that in mind, I still kind of roll my eyes at how Kuno ‘liking two girls’ is treated as a perversion. That just kinda sucks.

Last thing before the character spotlight I can think of is that I really liked the fight in this episode, the action was pretty good. ... Listen, I know that’s not exactly expert analysis, but it’s what I got.

I feel like covering Nabiki now is pretty much a no brainer. Of all the side characters introduced so far, she’s easily gotten the most shading, and this episode in particular develops her further for the audience. In terms of voice acting, she’s played in English by Angel Costain and in Japanese by Minami Takayama. Angela isn’t known for much else, which is quite a shame, because she’s pretty fantastic, in my personal opinion. Minami, on the other hand, has a pretty huge resume, and along with the voice actors for Akane, Ranma’s cursed form, Kasumi, and a character we haven’t met yet, was in a pop group called DoCo.

In terms of acting, they both play her fairly similarly. A normal girl at first glance, but with quite the amount of dry wit and sarcasm lying beneath that surface. The main difference I’ve seen so far is that Angela seems to have more mirth to her performance, while Minami’s is a bit more deadpan. Both are good, though I definitely prefer the english performance so far.

But what is Nabiki actually like? Well, of the three Tendo siblings, Nabiki hides who she is more than the others. For the first few episodes, she comes across as a fairly unassuming character, most known for her occasional snark. But this episode is where we get to see her primary character trait: greed. Nabiki is quite happy to take advantage of Ranma’s curse to make money, though how far she’s willing to go for the yen hasn’t really been made clear.

It is worth noting that, while her pictures of Ranma were very sexy and revealing, her pictures of Akane were just of her working out and stuff, far less of an invasion of her sister’s privacy. Does she have better respect for family than the freeloaders who live with them? That’s to be seen.

Another big character trait we’ve gotten so far is her...friendship? Sure, let’s go with that, her friendship with Kuno. Always happy to try and pop his inflated ego with her sharp wit, they have a good comedy routine going. At the same time, she does seem to legitimately be there for him, since she was taking care of him after he got knocked out. They get shipped a lot, which I definitely see the appeal of, but part of me just kind of likes the idea that they’ve just known each other for a long time, and they just kind of have a thing going. Not that any kind of friendship they may have is coming close to stopping her from bilking him from as much money and free food as she can. Of course, Kuno is quite rich, so he can afford it.

Some people have described Nabiki as a villain, but I wouldn’t really agree with that. What she is, is someone happy to create conflict. She’s a fun addition to the cast, and I can’t think of any time in my previous watch-throughs where I got tired of her being there. (Which is not something I can say about every character in this series.)

Now it’s time to rank the episodes once again. Of the four episodes so far, I can immediately say this one is in the top half. I enjoyed Nabiki’s antics and the marital arts quite a bit, but I don’t think it’s quite as strong as the second episode. So far, that means the rankings are:

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Will next week’s episode be just as entertaining? Well, I don’t know, but from what I remember about episode 5, “Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart”, I don’t think that will be the case. See you then!

Episode 4-Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Oh boy, we are back into the Ranma Rewatch and this time it’s the fourth episode, titled “Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another”. That is definitely the kind of title I remember more from this show: incredibly long and silly. I love it in any series where the titles are like half-formed sentences. As for what I’m expecting in this episode...I honestly don’t really remember. We’re already reaching the edges of my memory, so I look forward to seeing it with fresh eyes

Yeah, I had pretty much forgotten about most of the stuff that happened in this episode, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The episode starts with Ranma having a bad dream about Kuno professing his love and asking him out. After waking up in a cold sweat, Ranma takes a bath and shenanigans happen.

There’s some cute banter between Ranma and Akane on the way to school, then a threepeat of the fight against all the guys trying to ask her out. Kuno makes an appearance at the end again, but this time he’d taken out in one combined hit from both Ranma and Akane. He’s tended to in the nurse’s office afterwards by Nabiki, who finds out from his sleep talking that he’s fallen in love with ‘the pigtailed girl’ in addition to Akane, and feels conflicted over who he should choose.

Seeing an opportunity, Nabiki abuses the fact that apparently Ranma is a heavy sleeper to activate his curse as he sleeps, takes a bunch of sexy pics, then turns him back, all without him ever waking up. Not too long later, she gets a surprise message from Kuno, asking to meet up.

He treats her to a meal, asking her the favor of delivering a cute doll he got as a present to its recipient: the pigtailed girl. Before addressing that idea, Nabiki tempts him with the sexy pictures of his new waifu, only letting him even see them if Kuno treats her to spaghetti. I thought that might be a dub change, but it’s not, either language they still go out for Italian pasta. She sells them to him for 1000 yen a pop, then asks if he’s giving up on Akane then. He clarifies that he intends to pursue them both, so Nabiki reveals there are Akane pictures available too. In exchange for free ice cream, and the same price per picture, she sells him those too.

Only with that done does she tell him how to get his present to the pigtailed girl: Ranma is the only way. She doesn’t explain why, but Kuno doesn’t dig too deeply into it. She couriers a letter to the titular protagonist, asking for a meet up, which Ranma goes to. Once it becomes clear exactly what Kuno is asking for, Ranma rebuffs him, saying he’ll never see his precious pigtailed girl ever again.

This threat becomes somewhat toothless when someone randomly dumping water out of their window activates Ranma’s curse, and Kuno quickly embraces the object of his affections. This hug becomes a little awkward when Nabiki appears and douses Ranma with hot water, and Kuno realizes who he is ‘now’ hugging. You might think this would mean he has some understanding of what’s going on, but Kuno’s immediate thought is that Ranma knows some vile sorcery.

When Nabiki realizes how dense Kuno really is, she decides to phrase it to him as Ranma ‘owning the pigtailed girl’s body and soul’, which is not technically a lie. That said, of course Kuno interprets that as meaning that somehow Ranma has the warrior woman he loves enslaved to him in some way, so a fight breaks out.

When Ranma sees the photos Kuno has on him, it distracts him enough to take a hit to the torso, just as Akane arrives. Just as Kuno starts getting serious, the air pressure from his piercing attacks alone strong enough to crack a statue apart, Ranma counteracts and wins, though it becomes clear his injury hurts like hell, even if he’s trying to ignore it.

And that’s it, no cliffhangers this time around. Now that Kuno’s love for Ranma’s alter ego has been established, the actual meat of what that means, namely how he sees them as two separate people and chases one while attacking the other, is what this episode works to make clear. It also sets up his and Nabiki’s dynamic more, but that’ll be something I talk about more in just a little bit.

There are two kind-of bigger things I want to pull out of this episode. First one being the dream sequence at the start. Now, I am fairly sure that whole bit is meant to be there for comedy, in a very ‘gay panic’ kind of way. Which honestly...does not play super well these days. Ranma’s terror at the dream, on a surface reading, has to do with him being super grossed out that some dude is in love with him.

Of course, there are other ways to read the scene as well. I’m sure some people might instead look at it as being less a nightmare and more like Ranma running away from his own possible attraction to another guy, and while that’s definitely possible, I didn’t really get that vibe at all. That said, if you did, rock on.

What I saw as more likely was a gender-based reading. Ranma is, more than anything else, freaked out by Kuno’s love declaration because it’s someone seeing him as something he’s not, a woman. Kuno isn’t interested in Ranma, he’s interested in a woman who doesn’t exist. Ranma has a lot of complicated feelings tied up in his masculinity, which his curse doesn’t exactly help with, and Kuno’s attraction to his cursed form just makes it all worse.

Speaking of attraction, let’s talk about Kuno. The fact that everyone calls his affections for two people at the same time ‘two timing’ is a bit vexing to me. As someone who has been in polyamorous relationships before, I can attest to the fact that liking more than one person at a time is totally okay, and if everyone involved is okay with it, dating multiple people is also okay.

That is kind of the problem though. Neither Akane or Ranma like Kuno, and neither is likely to want to date him, regardless of if he’s dating someone else at the time. Their problem with Kuno isn’t his dual attraction, it’s that they just plain don’t care for the guy. (And Ranma probably doesn’t swing that way, but he could be repressing it so what the hell do I know.) Even with that in mind, I still kind of roll my eyes at how Kuno ‘liking two girls’ is treated as a perversion. That just kinda sucks.

Last thing before the character spotlight I can think of is that I really liked the fight in this episode, the action was pretty good. ... Listen, I know that’s not exactly expert analysis, but it’s what I got.

I feel like covering Nabiki now is pretty much a no brainer. Of all the side characters introduced so far, she’s easily gotten the most shading, and this episode in particular develops her further for the audience. In terms of voice acting, she’s played in English by Angel Costain and in Japanese by Minami Takayama. Angela isn’t known for much else, which is quite a shame, because she’s pretty fantastic, in my personal opinion. Minami, on the other hand, has a pretty huge resume, and along with the voice actors for Akane, Ranma’s cursed form, Kasumi, and a character we haven’t met yet, was in a pop group called DoCo.

In terms of acting, they both play her fairly similarly. A normal girl at first glance, but with quite the amount of dry wit and sarcasm lying beneath that surface. The main difference I’ve seen so far is that Angela seems to have more mirth to her performance, while Minami’s is a bit more deadpan. Both are good, though I definitely prefer the english performance so far.

But what is Nabiki actually like? Well, of the three Tendo siblings, Nabiki hides who she is more than the others. For the first few episodes, she comes across as a fairly unassuming character, most known for her occasional snark. But this episode is where we get to see her primary character trait: greed. Nabiki is quite happy to take advantage of Ranma’s curse to make money, though how far she’s willing to go for the yen hasn’t really been made clear.

It is worth noting that, while her pictures of Ranma were very sexy and revealing, her pictures of Akane were just of her working out and stuff, far less of an invasion of her sister’s privacy. Does she have better respect for family than the freeloaders who live with them? That’s to be seen.

Another big character trait we’ve gotten so far is her...friendship? Sure, let’s go with that, her friendship with Kuno. Always happy to try and pop his inflated ego with her sharp wit, they have a good comedy routine going. At the same time, she does seem to legitimately be there for him, since she was taking care of him after he got knocked out. They get shipped a lot, which I definitely see the appeal of, but part of me just kind of likes the idea that they’ve just known each other for a long time, and they just kind of have a thing going. Not that any kind of friendship they may have is coming close to stopping her from bilking him from as much money and free food as she can. Of course, Kuno is quite rich, so he can afford it.

Some people have described Nabiki as a villain, but I wouldn’t really agree with that. What she is, is someone happy to create conflict. She’s a fun addition to the cast, and I can’t think of any time in my previous watch-throughs where I got tired of her being there. (Which is not something I can say about every character in this series.)

Now it’s time to rank the episodes once again. Of the four episodes so far, I can immediately say this one is in the top half. I enjoyed Nabiki’s antics and the marital arts quite a bit, but I don’t think it’s quite as strong as the second episode. So far, that means the rankings are:

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another Episode 1: Here’s Ranma Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Will next week’s episode be just as entertaining? Well, I don’t know, but from what I remember about episode 5, “Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart”, I don’t think that will be the case. See you then!

V is for Victory by Zenalite

Chapter 1 - Chance Ever since we were young Victoria knew how to put me in my place. I fell in love with her in the sixth grade. With her lush nut brown hair and the light brown eyes - not with her body. I remember my father came to our play at school and told me, “That girl of yours has got one hell of an ass.” I’m mortified now as I remember it, but at the time I thought nothing of it, nor did I understand what having a “hell of an ass” meant. By the eighth grade… I got up to speed. I used to sit by my desk and watch her ass swaying in tight jeans all day long, dreaming of touching her bubble but. Or at the very least holding her hand. Really, I could’ve gone for anything. I'd have gotten hard from holding a straw for her while she drank so long as I could do it. During one project we had to do she informed us of her background: German and Peruvian. Well, damn. That accounted both for her dictatorial quick temper, curvy little hard body and cheerful thoroughness all at once. Instead of saying a word to her, though, I only watched her interact with the jocks from my class. Watched as they put her arms around her and pulled her romantically in their laps. As they felt her up without a worry in the world, and as she half-assedly told them to stop while loving every second of their dirty caresses. I crazily decided to write her a letter for Valentine’s Day and sneak it into her school bag. Only after I did the deed did I realize that I hadn’t remembered to put down my own name on it. But relief washed over me as well. I couldn't begin to imagine the humiliation if she turned me down, which happened to be the only option. I'd have to quit school. Or kill myself. The very next day Victoria came to school asking guys individually if they had written anything to her, with enough anger in her tone to scare them off. She seemed pissed off, but also genuinely interested in finding out who was behind it. We had never spoken before, not even once to greet each other. But when my turn came she sashayed over to my desk, flooding the air with her spicy perfume, and asked, “Did you write this?” Her torso rose before me, with her budding breasts showing under the thin blouse. A small gap of smooth skin between her blouse and jeans showed her toned tummy and the fuzz that went down... I blabbered out an affirmative answer. As I sat there frozen, the other classmates that had been trailing after her following the drama pointed at me and cackled, making fun of my letter. “Next time, just give it to me yourself,” she said coolly. "Why did you write me a thing like that anyway?" "B-Because I like you." "And?" She folded her arms expectantly. "So what?" "I don't know..." "What were you planning to do once I found it?" "I don't know..." Victoria clicked her tongue impatiently. "Were you going to ask me out or something?" Was that a friendly tip? "I wanted to." "So do it. Let's get it over with." The others had gone quiet and stared at us. I couldn't breathe. This was too intense. "Will you go out with me?" Victoria rolled her eyes in disinterested boredom and sighed. "I guess. At least you wrote me something, unlike these other dickwads. But don't waste my time. Make it nice." After that we started dating, if you could call it that. We went out together and talked. For my first date I got her flowers and a plushie, to which she reacted with great hostility, asking, "Do I look like a kid to you?" In spite of the comment though, she held on to it fondly and took it home afterwards. Being so naive and inexperienced, I had no idea what to make of it all. But at school Victoria still hung out with the popular kids, and the guys made no attempt to acknowledge that she was taken. If anything, their behavior went up a notch, and I’d often see them lowering their hands to grab her butt, all the while shooting me a wink of acknowledgement. Fucking assholes. It was around that time that I realized black guys would be the biggest problem. We had a classmate by the name of Lee that made a move on Victoria whenever possible. She could be chatting with her friends during break when he’d slip behind her and wrap his arms around her waist, grinding against her candidly and kissing her neck. Or he would give her a playful smack on the ass whenever the teachers asked her to distribute the corrected papers to the other kids. Victoria made no moves to stop him. If anything, she seemed to relish the attention she got from all the guys and especially from a strong and athletic stud like Lee. A guy which all the girls seemed to want. Whenever we got a substitute teacher and things got super relaxed, she would often go to sit on his knee, only to get swept up into his arms and nestle up in his lap. Can't you see me? I would wonder. I dared not say anything. I considered myself lucky just to be able to talk to her. It was enough that we went out every weekend, even if it seemed more friendly than romantic. We would talk about our family life, about her hopes for the future. "I can't wait to get away from my parents," she confessed to me. We were sitting at one of the tables in the park having some McDonald's. "I'm so sick of them. They won't let me do anything." It seemed to me like she did far more than anyone else. She certainly dressed provocatively... "What do you want to do?" "Honestly?" Victoria chuckled grimly and bit into her burger. "Anything they don't want me to. Fuck them." It seemed to me that we were getting closer. She even let me hold her hand on our dates, and said good night to me in the evenings in text. The way she acted when we were together seemed completely at odds from the bossy and bitch yet high-energy way she acted at school. But at the formal for that year, Victoria danced with Lee the entire night. Whenever I went to her she dismissed me with, “Later.” A few of the kids drank in the bathroom in secret, and she did too. I sat at one of the tables with the rest of the rejects and watched as Lee danced up close to my girlfriend and moved his hands all over her body in ways I never dreamed of. And unlike the other white jocks that were reprimanded by the teachers for doing anything, the teachers avoided eye contact with Lee and Victoria so not to be put on the spot, knowing perfectly well what went on. Victoria wrapped her slender arms around Lee’s neck and the two kissed deeply. My girlfriend. Kissing another guy at our formal. I was supposed to remember this night. To treasure it. She knew I would be watching. We even talked about it on our last date. I wanted to go home and cry. Lee felt her ass through the dress. But soon his dark fingers came down low enough to caress her thigh, and after went up and under the dress to knead her ass. And they spent the rest of the night glued to each other... I just got up and went home, too frustrated to think. I never mentioned it to her. A few days after that we went on a date and I made an attempt to kiss her when we separated, only to have her pull away. “Uhm, maybe another time…” “But why?” I asked indignantly. “You kissed fucking Lee!” Victoria’s eyes shot me a piercing glance. “So? I can kiss whoever I want. If you have a problem with that, let me know, and I’ll find a boyfriend that doesn’t. If you want me to kiss me so bad, just let it happen. The better you are to me, the more likely it is I’ll kiss you.” Then came the night I got my first kiss. It was the height of summer break and Victoria hadn’t answered my texts all day. We hadn’t even seen each other face to face in over two weeks, though her Facebook was full of new pics she uploaded from her outings downtown and to the beach. She called me at around 2 a.m. “Heeeeeey, baaaaaabyyy,” she drawled. “What’s up?” “I was… sleeping. What’s up with you? I’ve been texting you all day.” "Oh, I know. Sorry! I was just busy all day... Are you home by yourself?" As a matter of fact, I was. My mother worked night shifts as a nurse, and Victoria knew that. “I am.” “Could I come over and spend the night?” I sat up in bed anxiously and flipped the covers off. Back then I still wore some Star Wars pyjamas. What times. I need to change, I realized with urgency. “Y-Y-Yeah. You can come over!” “Okay, great. I’ll come right now. I hope you don’t mind I’m bringing a friend.” “No… Not at all…” I should’ve known in advance what kind of “friend” she meant. But I hurried to get myself changed for the big event and clean up my room enough to be welcoming. When Victoria showed on my doorstep all alone, I thought the night was saved. She didn’t bring anyone after all. A flimsy sequin dress hugged the curves of her body tightly, especially around her wide hips and round butt. Even in these few months of summer, her body seemed to get thicker by the day. She shambled inside on uncomfortably tall heels and gave me a peck on the cheek. “My friend’s parking right now. He’ll be in soon.” Her friend turned out to be a massive black guy whose name I never learned. To say that he wasn’t in our age group was an understatement. The guy must’ve been at least in his late 20s if not in his 30s at the time. Not only were his arms covered in tattoos, but a scorpion had been inked around his brow as well. Victoria introduced me as her boyfriend, at which point the guy grabbed me into a tight hug and patted my back amicably. Okay, so he’s not that bad, I thought at the time. Maybe nothing bad will happen at all. Everything changed as soon as we got in the bedroom. Both he and Victoria went over to my bed and began to make out, while I sat down at my desk chair, watching them go at it without a peep. Unlike Victoria, the guy acted a lot more passive and a little out of it. I kept seeing his gaze wandering to the window. Could he really have this happen to him so frequently that he could act totally disinterested? Victoria started to play some rap on her phone. She kissed his neck and arms, then slowly lifted his shirt and took it off. It was just so clear from her behavior that she was the thirsty one that couldn’t get enough. And that made me hard as well. Her lips pressed against his hard abs and his pecs over and over, her dainty fingers rushing over the black skin to feel the hard-packed muscle flexing underneath. Drunken with lust with and willing to do whatever he wanted her to. I knew at that moment that whatever he had asked at her, whether it was to break her cherry or have her kneel so he could piss in her mouth like a urinal, Victoria would’ve submitted happily. The lure and the power of BBC became all too apparent even from my perspective. At length his massive hands wrapped around her waist, then slowly came down to grab her perky butt. He lifted her dress and exposed her ass. All Victoria wore was a high-waisted thong. It was the first time I had ever seen her… like that. My small dick raged at full mast but I dared not touch it. The black fingers dug into her young, soft asscheeks and massaged it, playing with her teen ass however he pleased and smacking it for good measure as they made out. Victoria only giggled happily in response and whispered to him. At some point she turned around and met my eyes. I jerked at my seat with surprise and embarrassment. “It’s okay, honey,” she said calmly, almost lovingly. “You can touch yourself if you want.” That was all I needed. I leaned back and stroked myself as I watched my girlfriend worship this alpha male that she lusted after, ogling the way his black fingers went all over her white flesh at leisure, in a way mine never would be allowed to. Only black guys for her. This was porn in real life. Not even. Far better than porn. I could not have pointed out a moment in my life when I felt better than right then, jerking myself off as I watched her offering her young body to a black guy in my own bed. “I love you,” I heard her whisper hotly. “Fuck me.” “And go to jail?” He laughed. “I don’t think so.” Her nails bit desperately into his flesh. “Please, Daddy. I need it… I need your big black cock inside of me.” He frowned. “What you need is a good spanking.” “Then spank me, Daddy.” Victoria practically begged for it, grinding herself against his crotch and putting all the sultry energy she could into her voice. "Please spank me and teach me a lesson, Daddy." Our black friend suddenly lifted her up and brought her facedown on the bed, with her ass in his lap. The moonlight streamed through the window and put the spotlight on the intense curve of her bubble butt. The two perfectly round asscheeks rose tantalizingly, topped by two cute dimples that were inked out by the shadows. His black hand came down to rest of her ass, and for a time even he seemed in awe of its perfection. The wonders of a nice teen ass. Fresh and completely available to him to do with as he pleased. His fingers caressed it gently, then sank into it roughly. Victoria yelped and laughed darkly in response, but he quickly bundled up her thick hair and yanked her head back, arching her back and in the process and getting her butt to curve upwards. “Punish me, Daddy, please… Please punish me. I’ve been such a bad girl.” At first he smacked it only jokingly. But seeing as she begged for more and seemed to want it hard, he began to slap it outright. That rough and rugged black hand whipped discipline into the fourteen-year-old white ass and taught her a lesson about black superiority neither she nor I would soon forget. Victoria, who had begged for it, now lost her slutty voice and cried out for him to stop for real, bringing her hands back to ward off his blows. Didn’t she realize it was far too late for that?   The guy grabbed her wrists together and held her still, not coming down upon he ass with all the annoyance built up by her interruption. Not play - real punishment. The soft flesh jiggled and rippled with each hit, while Victoria howled in her palms. Her toes curled as the burning agony overtook her butt, her whole body twitching from the waves of pain that went through her. Not once did the stud relent. Not once did he listen to her cry for mercy. He only gave her what she begged for. He finished off with a sigh, leaving Victoria whimpering like a child as she wriggled her reddened ass high in the air. Almost as if she wanted more. Her body convulsed in response to the rough treatment. I couldn’t help but wonder… Did she come? I certainly had. The black guy caressed her hair and quieted her down, at which point he brought her back up for a makeout session. Victoria double checked she had his number right and held his hand lovingly as she walked him out. She came back into the bedroom, still trembling slightly. “How do you feel?” she asked me. “G-G-Good,” I managed to say. “How about you?” Victoria grinned and threw her head back. “Amazing. That was so fucking hot.” She turned around to show me her red butt. A few spots of blood glimmered. “How do I look?” “You look wonderful.” Victoria giggled grimly. “Is that so? Yeah, I could see you enjoying yourself as well. I was worried how you’d react to that. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised. I must say I’m… happy that you’re my boyfriend.” She looked away as soon as she said that, but not before I could hear the shy crack in her voice and the blush in her cheeks. This was what made her nervous? This? “I’m glad you’re my girlfriend, too…” Victoria said nothing for a time. Then she turned around, came over, and kissed me. Our first real kiss. I awkwardly struggled to learn in the space of a few seconds how to do it, but all I could do was press my tongue awkwardly against hers. She broke it off, laughing. “You’re terrible.” Seeing my disappointed reaction, she added, “But I’ll teach you how to do it properly.”  

Cornelia Street (9/9)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Final A/N: What’s up y’all, here it is, the ~thrilling~ conclusion to this little fic. (hah, it only took a month for me to crank out this compost huh? lol) Just wanna say I appreciate all your comments and reblogs and support and this has been super fun! Stay safe everyone :)

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Part 9

“Alright,” Kurt says, fluffing his hair dry with his towel as he walks out of the bathroom. “I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I think we should try our luck and venture into the realm of horror movies. I’ve heard Annabelle: Creation is really good but I never—”

His gaze falls on the empty bed and the bottom of his stomach drops out beneath him.

“Blaine?” he calls out cautiously, as if speaking too loudly and breaking the stillness hanging in the air will jinx it all. Like if he stays quiet enough, doesn’t quite let himself believe what he suspects, then Blaine will just walk through those doors.

After a moment frozen, he runs to the kitchen/living room area because Blaine is probably there, lying down underneath the fort they made, or maybe he went back for some of that ice cream, or maybe he’s just looking for another board game but he can’t be gone.

Not when Kurt just found him. Not when they just found each other.

Blaine’s not there, and Kurt scrambles for his phone and god dammit he’s never quite sure where he leaves it, and it’s times like these, when it matters, that he knows he needs to break that bad habit.

He finally finds it, and relief momentarily floods his system. He doesn’t know why the hell Blaine left, but he dials his number, anxious to find out.

*

Blaine’s almost to the tunnel when his phone starts ringing, connected to his car’s Bluetooth.

“Incoming call from Kurt Hummel,” the automated voice says.

Dread knots up in his stomach, and he’s not sure if he wants to have this conversation, but… he can’t snuff out the last bit of hope telling him that maybe Kurt is calling for a good reason.

With a slow breath, he hits the answer button.

“Hey,” Kurt’s voice immediately says, sounding like he’s trying too hard to keep his voice bright and perky. “Um. Where'd you go?”

“I… took off.”

“Oh,” it sounds almost like a question. “Where… uh, where are you going?”

“I’m going to wait out this quarantine thing with Quinn, over in New Haven. She’s got a house she’s renting until she graduates…”

“Can I ask why?” Kurt asks, and Blaine can tell he’s trying to be gentle, trying to stay calm and not panic.

After a moment of silence, Blaine answers. “I can’t… I can’t do this,” he admits.

Kurt’s voice is tight on the other end. “Can’t do what?”

“I can’t be this invested in someone who’s wishing they were with someone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw Adam’s messages to you. I wasn’t going through your phone or anything, but it lit up and they were there and it sucked, okay? I like you, Kurt… I like you too much to be a rebound. Because I know what I feel—what I feel is real.”

“Oh my god, no.” Kurt cries desperately. “Those aren’t—it’s not what it looks like at all. You’re not a rebound, Blaine. God, I’m going to sound so stupid… because… because not even a week ago we hated each other and… you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

The anticipation builds, buzzing just underneath Blaine’s skin. “Try me.”

Kurt swallows. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Blaine feels his heart stop in his chest, like someone just slammed on his breaks. He hears Kurt sob on the other end and he knows—he knows how hard it is for him to admit something like that.

“Christ, three years and I never—never, Blaine—felt as much or as deeply as I did in these past few days with you. And we haven’t even really been doing much of anything, so I know I’m not getting swept up in a grand gesture or something superficial or just the idea of a relationship. I don’t need dinner and a show, or ice skating and hot chocolate, or a night out on the town. I just need you.

“And whatever Adam might think—whatever he said in those messages, means nothing to me. Not compared to you. You can go to Quinn’s if you want, but… but I would really love it if you came back to Cornelia street…”

Blaine doesn’t say anything, he’s busy processing everything Kurt just told him. Each word had silenced every fear he ever had that Kurt wasn’t as invested in this as he was. Now, he was just left with all this emotion, bursting inside him like fireworks but coming out through his eyes as tears because this… this was happening.

“Please, say something, Blaine,” Kurt’s shaking voice pleads.

He’s suddenly reminded, in the midst of all this emotion, that he has to actually respond. “I don’t think you’re crazy,” he says. The first thing that comes to his mind. “I feel the same…”

He hears the smallest of gasps on the other end—a sign of relief, or maybe gratitude.

Then, Blaine says, “I’m turning around.”

He hears a watery laugh on the other end of the line. “You know,” Kurt says. “When this whole quarantine thing is over, we should really go on a proper date.”

*

Epilogue

“Sam is gonna lose it.”

“I know.”

“He’s going to rub it in my face for years to come.”

“Probably. But it’s been weeks, Blaine! I want people to know we’re together. Particularly that one overly friendly guy on Facebook who has a lighthouse as his profile pic.”

“He’s just a harmless flirt. He’s like that with everybody.”

“Yeah, well I’d appreciate it if he wasn’t like that with the guy I love… What? Why are you looking at me like th—mmph!”

“...”

“… not that I’m complaining, but what , might I ask, brought that on?”

“I love you, too, Kurt.”

“Oh… oh! I… I did say that, didn't I? I hope you know I meant it, too.”

“I do… Why don’t we go log on now?”

“Yeah, let's do that… and then maybe watch another cheesy Netflix original?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Sam really is gonna lose his mind.”

*

Kurt Hummel updated his relationship status

Blaine Anderson updated his relationship status

When Mercedes gets the notifications on her phone, the sound of Sam yelling, “Baaaaaaaaaaabe!!” at the top of his lungs doesn’t exactly come as a surprise.

She does startle, though, when he comes sprinting back into the bedroom and leaps into the bed like an over excited golden retriever, draping his torso over hers.

“Did you see!?”

She can’t help but smile at his excitement. “I saw.”

He presses a quick kiss against her lips. “Are you gonna say it now?”

She rolls her eyes, but a deal is a deal.

“Sam Evans is a Meet-Cute Mastermind.”

About Naomi in 13x19

Or, better, the entirety of the heaven scenes from Funeralia.

The always brilliant @mittensmorgul​ says here that we’d better not trust Cas’ experiences in heaven in the episode, and I want to elaborate a bit about that. The questions are: where is Lucifer? Why is he so... pointedly absent? Why are the angels acting sort of weird? Why is the angels’ power not enough to keep heaven running so suddenly? Should we trust Naomi? Is anything she said even true? Is anything about what Cas experienced in heaven in the episode real?

Let’s start from the visuals.

The heaven scenes were written, acted and directed in a way that was supposed to feel off. When Cas talks with Dumah and the others at the beginning, the directing makes you expect something (i.e. Lucifer) to pop up behind Cas at any moment (the angels are shown in a close-up that shows just their torsos, Cas is framed so that you can see the throne room behind him, see pics), but that doesn’t happen. Cas mentions Lucifer being back, you expect either the angels to say something about it, or Lucifer to appear. But it doesn’t happen. There is a huge Lucifer-shaped hole in the scene. It feels jarring, we’re supposed to get the idea that things are not right. 

Then the black angel whispers something to Dumah we don’t hear. Dumah makes a dramatic silence before speaking, and she tells him they could help each other... and then, in the next scene, we learn that the angels somehow have gone somewhere else, leaving Cas waiting alone, and only return after a long time (with one more angel with them), and then, after Cas starts to confront Dumah about the ‘helping’ thing, Naomi appears.

And something happens with the place, or better, the way the camera presents the place. The camera start showing us the room so that it doesn’t look like the throne room anymore, it looks like Naomi’s office - instead of the throne seat in the background, we are viewing it in the direction of the desk, with the familiar walls well visible behind them. The throne is not longer the focal point of the location, it becomes something on the sidelines. The room is no longer about Lucifer(’s absence), it becomes about Naomi... and so becomes everything. We, the audience, expected the heaven scenes to be about Lucifer. We thought Indra was upset because Lucifer was in charge, we thought Dumah was acting weird because of Lucifer, the camera made us expect a reveal that Lucifer was there. But we got Naomi instead. And everything shifts - the camera’s point of view shifts from showing us the throne seat to showing us the desk.

See that large windows behind the characters in the first pics I posted? We no longer see them. Behind Cas and Naomi are the tiny light rectangles that we associate to Naomi’s office in season 8. It’s the same room, but it’s not. The camera transforms it. (In fact, look at the scenes - the first without Naomi, we only see the large windows/lights and the throne with the seats at its sides; in the scene where Naomi appears, we see the sofa, the desk, and we see both type of walls; then, when it’s just Cas and Naomi, we only see the ‘Naomi’ parts of the decor).

Of course it’s not the same, but it’s supposed to look alike enough...

Interestingly, even back then, there were larger light rectangles (behind Cas when he was being kinda rebellious - so, representing not-Naomi) and the classic small light rectangles (behind Naomi, representing her).

Visually, the scene changes so that it goes from being about Lucifer(’s absence) to being about Naomi. The sequence of scenes in heaven (the next time we see Cas and Naomi, they’re outside of heaven) is structured like this: 1 - Lucifer, 2 - Lucifer-->Naomi, 3 - Naomi. (There’s also a scene 0 and a scene 4 in the playground - the scene with Indra makes us think that Indra is upset because of the new ‘ruler’ and Cas is going to learn about Lucifer, but by scene 4 it’s Naomi apparently pulling the decisions regarding heaven.)

Now let’s focus on what Naomi says. Let’s start with her speech about heaven.

Do you know what powers Heaven, Castiel?

Yeah, us. Angels.

That's right. We're all... Every angel is like a walking, talking battery. And that is what happens when we run out of power.

Now: I believe this is supposed to make alarms go off in our head. As in, make us suspect that she is lying.

Remember when they come up with the idea of going against Amara with a soul bomb, in 11x23 (written by the current showrunner Dabb)? This is what Cas himself says.

Well, what about souls? They fuel your demon deals. Souls are living batteries. They're full of energy. They're full of light. Each one is as powerful as... a hundred suns?

Coincidence? I think not. I think the word ‘battery’ is supposed to make us think about human souls, because that’s what we’ve been told powers heaven. Sure, angels ‘run’ it, but the energy? We’ve been told a million times that souls are sources of energy. Yes, angel grace has been referred to as battery/batteries before, especially when Cas was running on stolen grace that kept running low and the expression was used to indicate his power level or the additional power he needed in form of new grace. But when it comes to energy, it’s about the souls, to quote Death from 6x11 (or Atropos in 6x17, also the episode with the first reference to the Butterfly Effect - coincidence? I think not). And, of course, there’s the implication that angels/heaven are powered by human souls that emerges from the way heaven works and from elements like the Grigori Tamiel’s words about angels feeding on human souls since forever and making “heaven a place on earth” by feeding on souls directly on earth. In general, angels become more powerful by drawing power from human souls, so...

Is Naomi lying?

Let’s think about what her purpose is. After Dumah and the other leave, they return telling Cas that he can help by bringing Gabriel back to heaven. Later, Naomi herself reiterates the necessity for Cas to bring Gabriel back. Dumah says:

Find Gabriel and bring him back to us, back home, and we can help you with everything else - battling Michael, defending Earth.

It’s very possible that she’s quoting something Naomi told her to say, because this is a line from 8x10, when Naomi tells Cas to find Samandriel:

His distress call cut out before I could pinpoint his exact location, but you will find him and you will bring him home.

It could be a coincidence (although accidents never happen accidentally) so I’m not going to give this further thought.

Still, is Naomi lying? Is Naomi manipulating the angels? Is Naomi even real? In a season where everything is about things that look like other things, it’s easy to think that things are not what they appear. What’s the connection between her sudden reappearance and Lucifer being on the throne, but being conspicuously not in heaven right now?

Who’s really pulling the strings in heaven? Is there a connection between what happened in 13x19 and Anael turning her back to Lucifer after she learned he had been lying all along about restoring the angels’ wings and creating new angels? Let’s not forget that Naomi was also mentioned before in this season by Anael in 13x13 (“I mean, I had ideas. I saw how heaven was running and I knew how to fix it and no one would listen to me. Not Michael, not Raphael. Not Naomi. They would just send me back to push my button.”) although I’m not sure what to make of that. Naomi also makes a remark about the angels thinking that any archangel would do, but being wrong, i.e. lamenting the failure of assuming Lucifer could help, although this doesn’t prove a connection between her and Anael because all angels believed Lucifer when he said he could fix their wings and make more angels.

Thoughts?

All I Wanted: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Gif originally posted by me.

Author: @cynicallystiles

Prompt: #17 “He’s the opposite of friendly. He’s unfriendly. As in, don’t be friends with him.” @carelesscatastrophe

Warning: The Vampire Diaries spoilers if you haven’t seen seasons 6-8. Cursing.

Notes: Please comment or reblog if you enjoy! I like knowing when you guys want more! 

Pairing: Kai Parker x Reader, Jeremy Gilbert x Reader

Masterlist 

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Words: 2,509

If you're reading this, then you've been compelled. Again. One of them told you to forget what you saw and to go home like it never happened. Search your phone for pics or videos you might've taken. Hopefully, they'll fill in the rest of the information.

Love,

You

Damnit. I close my laptop frustratedly. I can't count how many times I've read this email. Each time is usually when I wake up with no memory of how I got into my bed the night before, and no recollection of half of that day. I move to sit on my bed as I scroll through my phone trying to find clues.

I couldn't tell you how I even came up with the idea to start telling myself I was forgetting things. Important things. But, I did. So now when I read that email, I know that something has happened that my so-called friends are covering up again. I've been getting this email from myself for about four years.

I grew up in Mystic Falls so I'd always heard weird things. When I started seeing them for myself is when I started forgetting. I've pieced together that most of my friends are vampires or something supernatural. And that it's the vampires that can compel me to forget what I saw or where I'd been. Huge patches of my memory are still missing, but at least now I know when I'm being lied to.

I haven't set foot in Mystic Falls since I came to college at Whitmore. I haven't seen Jeremy in almost as long. We used to be best friends; sometimes I thought we could even be more. But ever since Bonnie died, he's gone off the rails. Just like with his parents' deaths. I miss my best friend. I miss free will and my memory more.

After scrolling through everything to figure out what I saw that caused the compulsion, I get ready for the day. As I get ready, thoughts roll around in my head about the past few months. Damon and Bonnie died after some weird spell to get rid of these Travelers, I think they were named. Funny thing about that, I've seen Damon on campus several times in the last few weeks talking to Elena or Caroline.

I'm probably not supposed to know that he's alive again. It fucking sucks too. Damon was like a cool older brother to me. I was devastated when they told me he died. I guess they can't tell me that he's alive again because I'm not supposed to know about the supernatural. But, I thought he would at least tell me sooner. He's never lied straight to my face. Sure, he's purposely left out details or he's very careful about how he says things. But, he makes sure that he's never actually lied to me.

That's how I know that it's probably Elena that's compelling me to forget. If it were up to Damon, I don't think he'd care if I knew about him. I wonder if Jer knows that they compel me not to know. It would definitely kill me if he didn't have a problem with my mind being messed with.

Anyway, I grab my bag and a few of my books before I head out the door. I walk across campus watching everyone else laugh and goof around with each other on their ways. Then, this thought clicks in my head. If Damon is alive again, then where is Bonnie? Shouldn't she be alive too? They died together, after all.

The thought is pushed from my head as my shoulder knocks into someone and my books fall to the ground.

"Oh god," I say as I drop to my knees to gather my books without looking at the person. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I just get lost in thought and don't really see where I'm going-" I stop when the person crouches down to pick up one of my books.

I watch as a hand with a few rings, including one on his thumb, attached to a wrist with a cool bracelet picks up my textbook for the class that I have with Alaric. Now that I think about it, how did they explain to me how he came back to life? I can't remember.

"Occult Studies." The man says as he stands up and looks at my book, intrigued.

I finish grabbing my things and stand back up. Swinging my bag around, I stuff the books in there so I don't drop them anymore. "Yeah, I'm actually going to be late if I don't leave now," I explain as I finally look into the eyes of the man who picked up my book.

Beautifully blue eyes look back at me. As I take in the rest of his handsome face, I'm frozen in place. He has a cute angular nose and his top lip is thin, but the bottom is slightly plumper, making them look permanently pouty. They are curled on one side into a smirk. I try to form words but I can't.

"You don't look like the type of girl who's into ghost stories," he says cheekily as he eyes me up and down.

I clear my throat and tear my eyes away from his lips and back to his gaze. "And what type of girl do I look like then?" I ask him with a nervous laugh.

"Well," he says as he extends his hand with the book back to me. As I reach for the book, our hands brush and I feel like something in me is being drawn to him. Or drawn into him? If that makes sense. As it happens, my mind flashes with broken up pictures that I can't make out. One is Damon saying something. Another is Jeremy and someone else. They don't make sense and I can tell they're out of context.

"That's interesting," he says after a moment.

"What's interesting?" I say, a slight headache forming from the visions.

I grip the book in my arms as he looks at me appraisingly. "My first impression of you was wrong. I apologize," he says with a sly tone.

"What changed your mind?" I ask intrigued.

He steps closer and takes one of my hands in his. No flashes this time, no force being drawn to him. "Hmm. I think I'll have to save that answer for the next time I see you. I'm terribly late for a long overdue chat with my sister," he explains, his hand never letting go of mine.

"Oh? And when do you plan on seeing me next?" I ask, suddenly confident to be as flirtatious as I think he's being.

He raises the back of my hand to his lips and softly kisses it. "I'm not sure yet. But, I'll find a way," he smirks his beautiful lips and internally I sigh.

"That's very presumptuous. We don't even know each other's names," I say, fishing for more details on this mysterious man.

He gently lets go of my hand and steps closer yet again. He looks over me, probably almost a foot taller than me. "Well, let's remedy that. I'm Kai. Kai Parker. And your name is?" He asks, his voice low but enticing.

"Y/n. Y/n y/l/n. That's an interesting name you have there. Lemme guess, short for Malachai," I giggle as I look at him intently.

He chuckles in return. "Yeah, actually. It's like my parents wanted me to turn out evil or something," he jokes and I laugh without thinking. His smile widens and he continues, "I'll be seeing you, y/n."

"I hope so," I say without thinking, "I'll definitely remember you, Malachai." He raises an eyebrow mischievously as he walks away. I turn and watch him leave for a few seconds before remembering I have class. I grip my book tight to my chest and grin to myself as I hurry to class so Alaric doesn't scold me.

Later after I'm finished with all of my classes for the day, I decide to try to find Elena. I haven't made any friends here and she's kind of like a sister, despite her compelling me all the time. So, I go to her a lot when I want to talk about my day and such. I check all over campus with no luck. So, I decide to go to the cemetery near Mystic Falls. That's where she went like every day all summer.

Once I pull up to the dirt road, I shut my car off and make my way down the trail to the Salvatore Crypt. As I approach I can see two figures sitting on a bench, deep in conversation.

"Elena?" I call out, wondering who the other person is. As I get closer, I see that it's Damon and I realize I'm probably going to get compelled. I have no time to get to my email to send it before she responds to me as she gets up.

Damon trails behind her as they close the gap. "Y/n, what are you doing out here?" She asks nervously as she glances at Damon.

"Damon?" I say, feigning surprise because he's supposed to be dead to me. "I thought you died in The Grill explosion!" To really sell it, my confusion turns to excitement as I run to him and throw my arms around his torso.

He hugs me back tightly as he picks me off my feet a bit before setting me back down. When he lets go he ruffles my hair. "Well, uh," he turns to Elena. Here it comes.

"He didn't die in that explosion. You were never told that in the first place. All you know is that he went on a trip for the last five months," she speaks clearly and slowly as she stares into my eyes.

I look back at Damon, my dazed look shifting into a bright grin. "Oh my gosh! How was your trip?? Where did you go? Tell me everything," I chatter excitedly as we all sit down on the bench.

"We'll talk about that later, Rugrat," he says with a half smile that doesn't seem convincing.

I frown a bit, curious about his travels this summer. But, I smile again as I turn to Elena, "Well anyway, I came out here because I wanted to tell you about this guy I met today!"

She raises her eyebrows as her interest is peaked. "You came all the way out here to talk about a guy?" She laughs a little as she looks at me.

"Well, yeah. I don't have anyone else to talk to right now because Jer is-" I cut myself off as I look at her worried expression. "I just miss my only best friend and you guys are the next best thing. No offense."

Her expression softens into a smile. "None taken. Tell us about this guy," she instructs me. Damon seems like he's going to protest before she shushes him subtly.

"Okay, so I was on my way to Occult..." I tell them all about how cute he is and how he was definitely flirting with me and how he was weird and mysterious but it was sexy and how funny he was. All the while Elena laughs every time Damon makes gagging gestures but I'm happy I have someone to talk to. "...and then he said he'll be seeing me. I mean he was flirting, right? Or did I misinterpret him being very creepy as flirty."

Damon responds first, "Well, he definitely sounds creepy. I mean you let some stranger kiss your hand? Have I taught you nothing about what creepy guys act like?"

"Well, I think he sounds nice. I mean, maybe he's just old-fashioned in how he flirts," Elena suggests as she elbows Damon playfully. "What did you say his name was?"

"Okay so this is one of the other interesting things," I say excitedly as I turn more towards Elena. "His name is Malachai. Kai for short. Isn't that such an interesting name? I bet it has such a history to it." My beaming grin fades slightly when both of their eyes widen in what looks like fear and shock as they look at each other. "What? What's going on?"

Elena turns to me again. "Listen, y/n. You cannot talk to him ever again. Do you understand?"

"No. Actually, I don't. Why shouldn't I? Give me a valid reason," I demand of her. I can tell that I'm getting close to the secret waters they try to keep me out of.

Damon interjects again, "He's not a good person. Okay? In fact, he is a very, very bad person!" His frustrated tone is telling me I don't know anything about what's really going. on.

"But, he was nothing but friendly to me," I explain, deflated.

Damon rolls his eyes and stands up to pace. Elena lays her hand on my shoulder. "He's the opposite of friendly. He's unfriendly. As in, don't be friends with him," she instructs aggressively.

"But-" I try to argue before Damon picks me up by my shoulders to stand and stares into my eyes.

"Damon, what are you doing?" Elena asks urgently.

He sighs frustratedly. "If she's not gonna listen by herself then I'm gonna make her listen," he declares.

"But, you've never-" she begins.

He interrupts her. "I know. But, this one needs to be strong. And I'm stronger than you," he explains to Elena.

"What's going on?" I ask, frightened. Damon is about to compel me. He's never compelled me before. But, I won't know that he has. My eyes start to water.

He adjusts his grip on my shoulders as he stares into my eyes again. "I would lose my mind if I lost you, Rugrat. That's why I'm doing this," he explains.

"Doing what?" I pretend to not know.

With a determined face, he begins to compel me, "You never met anyone named Malachai Parker. There was no cute, flirtatious guy that wanted to see you again. You went straight to class and straight back to your dorm to study."

"Damon, that's enough," Elena starts.

He holds one hand up to her while retaining eye contact with me. "You listen to this part carefully. If someone by that name ever does talk to you again, you will text or call me immediately. Then, you will get as far away from him as possible. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand," I say flatly as my expression turns blank.

He nods as he lets go of me. "Good. Now go back to your dorm and get some sleep. I'll visit you later this week to catch up," he instructs me sadly.

"Goodnight, Damon," I say robotically as I turn and slowly walk back to my car. Once I get back to my dorm I change and get into my bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light.

A Casual Affair - Part 21

Characters: Simon X OFC

Summary: Violet tries to adjust to her new more public life.

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, A bit of fluff

Notes: I’m sorry it took so long to get this written, and this is a pretty short chapter, too. I’ve had the worst case of writer’s block. It also didn’t help that I was busy bingeing Brooklyn 99 (It’s a fucking fantastic show and you should watch it if you haven’t.)

Song for this Chapter: “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga (Playlist Here!)

Simon and Violet had been back from their vacation for a little over 2 months and since then things had been a little crazy. Pretty much everyone at the office now knew that Simon and Violet were in a relationship which prompted some complaints about favoritism. Luckily Violet was able to find a new job working as an assistant at one of the big Broadway theaters. It sucked not being able to see Simon as often, especially since he’d moved back into his place. But they still spent every weekend  and multiple nights during the week together. One thing that was starting to wear on Violet was the attention. It didn’t happen often, but considering it never happened before, getting recognized a few times a week was taking it’s toll. Violet was planning on taking time this coming weekend to talk to Simon to see how he coped with this sort of thing in the beginning.

As Violet was finishing up her tasks for the day, her new boss, a guy around her age named Andy, walked up to her desk. “Hey, Violet.” She smiled and looked up at him. “Hey, Andy. What’s up?” Andy was clearly about to walk out the door. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and his bike helmet in his hand. “Before you head out for the weekend, can you just make sure that the new rehearsal schedule is posted online? We really have to kick things into high gear if we’re gonna be ready for the opening in a couple of weeks.” Violet nodded. “Already done. I wanted to make sure everyone had plenty of time to get their affairs in order since the next couple of weeks are going to be capital B busy.” Andy laughed softly and nodded. “Thanks, Violet. You’re the best. Have a great weekend!” “You too, Andy.”

Violet watched as Andy left. When she first took the job with him, she was worried that he’d try and use the fact that her boyfriend used to be her boss to try and get into her pants. Luckily Andy is gay so she had no worries there. And he was really nice. He acknowledged that he knew about her story from the papers but he assured that he wouldn’t judge because he knew the papers didn’t know the whole story and it was none of his business what went on behind closed doors. That was a huge relief for Violet. She’d been on a few other interviews before landing the one with Andy and all the other people wanted to talk about was her relationship. It was nice knowing that there was at least one person who didn’t give a shit. And no one else that worked at the theatre treated her any differently. It was all she could’ve hoped for.

As Violet was nearly done for the day she texted George, the driver Simon insisted he pay for to take her to and from work everyday, to let him know she was almost ready. About 15 minutes later, George replied that he was outside. Violet grabbed her things and made sure to shut out the lights and lock the door as she left and climbed into the back of the car. “Afternoon, Violet.” He greeted her as she buckled up. George was originally from Tennessee and had a thick southern accent that always made Violet smile. “Afternoon, George. How was your day?” “Ah you know, uneventful. How was yours?” “The same.” Violet and George chatted a bit as he drove towards her apartment. Once the car pulled up out front, Violet thanked George and told him to have a good weekend before heading into her building.

As Violet took her keys from her purse as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. She was so tired that she didn’t notice Simon sitting in the arm chair facing the door when she first entered. However when she turned to put her things down, she gasped loudly and put her hand on her chest. “Jesus Christ, Simon!” She exclaimed. Simon let out a loud laugh and slapped his knee. “Oh I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said between giggles. “What the fuck did you think would happen? I wasn’t expecting you until later tonight!” “I know, I know. I just wanted to surprise you.” Violet set her things down and kicked off her shoes. “Well consider me surprised.” Simon stood and walked over to Violet, smiling at her as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “How was your day?” Violet smiled and wrapped her arms around Simon’s torso, really needing to feel safe in his arms. “Stressful.”

Simon wrapped his arms around Violet. “I’m sorry, love. I ordered us dinner. It should be here soon. Why don’t you tell me about your day while we wait for it to get here?” Violet nodded followed Simon to the couch, snuggling against his side when he sat down. She sighed deeply before speaking. “How did you deal with all the attention when it first started happening?” She asked. Simon gently ran his fingers through her hair. “What do you mean?” Violet gently ran her fingertips along Simon’s clothed abs. “I mean when you first started getting recognized in public, when you started noticing people taking pictures of you while you were just doing normal everyday things…how did you deal with it?” Simon sighed softly. “Unfortunately there’s no right answer. Some people just adapt. Other’s hide. With me, I just tried to pretend like the cameras weren’t there. If someone approached me, as long as they were nice about it, I’d talk to them or take a picture with them or whatever. If they were rude I’d tell them to fuck off and go on about my day.” Simon leaned down and kissed Violet’s forehead. “You’re strong, baby girl. You’ll get through it.”

Violet nodded. “I know. It’s just frustrating. I went out at lunch and some guy in the deli I went to kept taking pictures of me. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. It was like he thought that just because parts of my life have been made public that he had every right to just snap a million photos of me. Like, if you’re gonna do it at least be more discreet.” Simon sighed. He hated that his actions had led to this. He wanted nothing more than to protect Violet and he felt like a failure. “Do you feel unsafe? I could get you a bodyguard.” Violet laughed softly and shook her head. “I think that’s overkill. But I appreciate the thought.” A moment later the bell rang. Simon stood and pressed the buzzer once he confirmed it was the delivery man with their food. Simon thanked the man and took the bag to the kitchen. He set up everything for them before calling Violet in. As they ate, Violet talked a little more about her new job. Simon wasn’t super familiar with the world of theatre so hearing about some of the behind the scenes stuff was pretty neat.

“How’s your new boss?” Violet smiled and nodded. “Andy is a nice guy. He’s one of the few people I’ve met recently that doesn’t give a shit about my personal life.” Simon smiled. “He, uh, try to make a move on you?” Violet laughed and shook her head. “Calm down, Simon. He’s gay.” Simon laughed softly. “Sorry. I let my jealousy get the best of me for a second.” Violet smiled. “It happens to the best of us.” When they were finished eating, Violet cleaned up and put away their leftovers. Simon poured each of them a glass of wine and headed out to the living room. He placed the glasses on the coffee table before settling down on the couch and turning on the TV. This was how he and Violet would unwind at the end of the week. They’d each have a couple of glasses of wine after dinner, watch some TV or a movie before heading to the bedroom to have sex and then they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms. It was a comfortable routine that they’d both quickly gotten used to. Violet joined Simon on the couch a few moments later and took a sip of her wine before leaning up to peck Simon’s lips a few times. “Love you.” She said softly. Simon smiled and nuzzled her nose. “Love you too.”

—————————————————————————————————

Violet slowly opened her eyes and looked over at the clock on her bedside table. It was 2AM and she had to pee badly. This always happened. She’d wake up in the middle of the night and be so comfortable and not want to move but she had to go to the bathroom and had no choice but to get up. She groaned a bit as she sat up on the edge of the bed and stretched her arms a bit. She stood and trudged to the bathroom, not even bothering to cover up. Simon was the only other person in the apartment so she certainly didn’t care if she was naked around him. Once she was finished she washed her hands before heading back to the bedroom. As she climbed into the bed, her phone dinged. She furrowed her eyebrows and picked it up off the nightstand. The notification indicated that she had a DM on Twitter. She’d never gotten DMs before but as soon as her relationship with Simon became public she started getting some with people calling her a whore and a home wrecker as well as the occasional dick pic.

This was an actual message though from someone she didn’t know. The message simply read, “Trouble in paradise?” with a link. Violet sighed softly as she tapped the link, expecting to be sent to some bullshit tabloid story. However she was surprised when the link led to some photos instead. There were about 20 pictures, all of them were of Simon and Charlotte. In a couple of the photos they were holding hands. In a couple others they were kissing and smiling and laughing. Violet rolled her eyes. Why would she care about some old photos of Simon with his soon to be ex-wife? But Violet could feel her heart drop when she took a closer look at the photos. They were timestamped from 3 days ago. That had to be photoshopped, right? But then Violet realized the shirt Simon was wearing. She’d bought it for him just before they left Bora Bora. So at the very least the photos had been taken within the last 2 months. Violet felt tears stinging at her eyes. Was Simon cheating on her…with his wife?

Tags: @collette04 @66psychotic99 @simons-thirst-squad@mwesterfeld1985 @negans-castle@neganismyobsession@laymetorest77 @brittlw @faith-lynn9

Bat Paladin Chapter 3

Voltron / batfam /dc comics crossover

chapter 1

chapter 2 Shiro is Bruce Wayne’s adopted son and part of the batfam AU created by me (I was the anon) and @newtsckamander Chapter 3/ ~10 Word count 3.8k I’m sorry formatting is messy, I posted from mobile

******* In general, things get easier with repetition. Stage actors recite lines over and over until they’re engrained in memory. Athletes develop muscles through use. Accuracy is learned by doing the same shot a thousand times.

Bruce wished grief and loss operated by this principle.

He was no stranger to death. From that fateful night in his childhood when he lost his parents, to friends and young partners, he had buried many people. He had mourned and struggled to move on and coped with so much loss.

And yet, a vast majority of those people he had grieved for had come back. Jason had come back. Stephanie had actually survived. Clark and perhaps half the league had been considered dead at some point. Statistically, Bruce should be skeptical of the validity of any presumed death.

Experience now left him in a rather precarious position. A bit like schrodinger’s cat, Shiro was presumed dead but had a chance of being alive. The question now was which did Bruce focus on. Mourning him under the assumption he was dead like his parents and most of the population, while harbouring the slight and fated-to-be-slowly-crushed hope that presumptions were wrong and he was alive? Or to expect him to be alive and have reality wear down on him with each day of uncertain absence? Either one could destroy him in the long run.

And how long did he search? How far into space until Shiro was truly beyond any hope of finding? Did he continue like a one-track record while his friends agreed to search to his face and then plotted interventions behind his back? And what approach did he take with the rest of the family? Would it be healthier for them to mourn without doubt? Or to harbour hope that he would be found?

Instead of lessening his conundrum, investigation only exacerbated it.

A Justice League investigation of the icy moon had found no evidence of the spaceship crashing. In fact, the vehicle was completely intact. Shiro and the Holts had made it safely to Kerberos and had left their ship in their excursion suits with all the planned equipment.

The first experiment site however, told a darker tale.

Every part of the Kerberos mission was expertly planned. GPS and previous probes had plotted down to the meter where the work was to be conducted.

That exact location was decimated. Something powerful had wrought a swath of destruction that had shredded the ice and rock surface and left only mangled fragments of the metal drill tripod.

The part that left the most questions was the lack of evidence of the crew. No fragments of spacesuits. No helmet shards. No fabric fibers. No bodies. No charred carbon. They were simply gone.

The worst case scenario was that they were dead in some way that left no evidence, but no other matter was missing from the area. Re-arranged, yes, but unaccounted for? No.

Until the Green Lanterns returned from meeting with the Guardians, there was no way to identify any residual alien energy or microparticles they might have found.

Bruce’s desperate hope for his son was alien abduction.

****** A telescope was added to the memorial case.

It looked as out of place as it felt - a mundane object flanked by costume-clad mannequin torsos and propped weaponry. It had been the first gift Bruce had given Shiro. A settling-in present after he’d lived with him for a month and offhandedly mentioned over dinner how many more stars he could see from the Wayne property than the city. So Bruce had bought him a telescope.

It was moderately sized, nothing huge but big enough that Shiro could see some of the fainter and more delicate nebulae.

Shiro had been enamored with it. Astronomy became his nightly activity when he wasn’t helping man the batcomputer, allowing him to be on a schedule more compatible with the family.

Bruce remembered many times when he’d come up from the batcave after patrol to find Shiro clothed but asleep in a chair with a star chart open in his lap, and when woken, he’d drag Bruce to the telescope he’d left outside to show him some Messier object.

It became accepted fact that if there was any sort of high profile event at an observatory or space exhibit, Bruce Wayne would be accompanying his middle son there.

Recently, the observatory had invited Bruce for the first use of a new lens the Wayne family had donated money for a year ago. Bruce declined to attend. The observatory said they understood and expressed their empathy. The tabloids understood his absence too.

One of the truly worst things about a civilian identity was the public relations of when things like this happened. Even if he had a search underway for what really happened to Shiro’s, he still had to deal with the civilian side of things.

When Jason had died it had been easier to keep things low key and although the family had celebrity status then, not there was a whole decade more of notoriety. Shiro had been a public figure as an adult in his own right. And the mere fact he was an adult added levels of complexity.

Like lawyers, and wills.

Shiro’s last will and testament was a harsh, physical reminder that his son was a decade older than Jason had been. Shiro had an impeccable will, drawn up by a Wayne recommended firm.

He left a few sums to various funds, plans for a new charity, and items for his brothers and sisters and for his oft-spoken-of friend Keith.

***

Shiro’s death was public knowledge and scandal, on the news for weeks and then months as the Garrison investigation into the incident continued.

There were three memorials Bruce had felt obligated to attend.

The private one that the Justice League attended, with friends whose raw glances of sympathy were the only ones Bruce found tolerable. They had known Shiro for the decade since his adoption and were also feeling his loss keenly.

There was the public memorial held in Gotham where a crowd turned out and lay flowers and ribbons for one of the city’s famous sons. Gotham had been proud to have famously from her embark on a historic space mission. Shiro’s publicity tour before the mission had been well received. Bruce hadn’t minded saying a few words to the crowd there as much as he feared he would.

Then there was the Garrison memorial attended by both those graduated and attending there.

Shiro’s training team and close friends were sitting in their own section next to the one for families of the team. There was a variety of twenty-somethings and one younger teen that Bruce recognized as Keith.

Bruce had never actually meet Keith. He had heard much about Keith. Shiro had called and told him many stories about Keith, including on the day they had met. Bruce had seen many photos and short videos of Keith. But Bruce had never met Keith in person.

And a memorial was a hard place to start.

After the Garrison speech that waxed poetic on his son’s talents and love of his job and a touching note about how his contributions to science would not be forgotten, Bruce exchanged sympathy with the Holts and intended to introduce himself to the boy. But by then Keith had left. ****** Hal Jordan was standing in his usual civilian clothes and jacket in front of the memorial case staring at the telescope with wet tracks on his face.

Bruce put his coffee mug down on the nearest flat surface.

“I just got back from Oa… Diana told me…” he didn’t turn to look at Bruce. Bruce grunted noncommittally. “I didn’t know… I waved at Pluto as I passed…”

“He would have appreciated that.” Bruce eventually said.

“I’m heading back out. I’ll scan everything. I just- I needed to come here first.” Hal finally faced Bruce, eyes searching. “I keep picturing when he was a kid and he’d follow me around the watchtower asking questions. Every flight back to Earth I’d spend preparing what stories I’d tell him. I was so proud when he aced piloting and when he was selected for this mission, but now I can’t help but fear this was all somehow because of my influence. Piloting… space…”

“Hal… Shiro loved space since long before even I knew him. As much as you’re his favorite Uncle, he was determined on this path since childhood. You can’t blame yourself any more than I can for letting him go to that school.” They were standing next to each other, shoulder to shoulder facing the case again. Hal nodded silently but grateful.

“I’m going to search Kerberos for any clues. Then I’ll go back to Oa to research. If he’s out there, I won’t give up until I’ve found him or the truth.” Hal declared, voice heavy, and then flew out the cave entrance.

* * * * * In the past decade or so, Bruce’s social persona had become more bearable. “Brucie” had transitioned from “ditzy but well-meaning playboy” to “ditzy but well-meaning playboy and father”. His public persona had to appear responsible enough for no one to question his custody of half a dozen youths.

Bruce had found the easiest way to accomplish this was to cultivate a new hobby of showing off his kids at any opportunity. He had a wallet packed with school photos, albums of pics and videos on his phone, and a wealth of stories he could share in any conversation.

Instead of having to convince people that “Brucie” had suddenly become an extremely responsible adult, he could simply start bragging.

“My Cassie is doing triple pirouettes in ballet, I have a video of it right here that you simply must see”

“Look at Damian and his science project! I don’t think our carpets will ever be the same.”

“Shiro sent me this pic from the flight simulator at his astronaut school. He’s top of his class and set a school record for highest score”

It was far more satisfying than bumbling and flirting had been in his younger years. He still winked at the ladies and broke a few wine glasses every now and then, but mostly he blathered about his brood. This had the added benefit of boring and discouraging gold-diggers and those arrogant people who disapproved of the bloodlines of most of his family. Bruce was proud that there was so much to boast about.

Of course now his public reputation as a family-man and celebrity status meant that he had to address what happened on multiple television shows, and magazine interviews, and online forums.

It was a seemingly unending slur of similar statements.

“Shiro knew the risks, it’s like I said in the Kent interview for the Daily Planet, Shiro talked it over with the family, he felt that any danger was worth it and even in his will he reminded us that this was what he wanted to dedicate his life to, however much time that would be.”

“I think - and I’d hope I’d know as his adoptive father - that what Shiro would want for the future of space exploration would be for it to continue. Learn from his mission, make it so the next one is a success. Go beyond Kerberos someday. Meet some aliens.”

“It’s hard on all of us, but we’re trying to get through it as a family, to remember the better times.”

“No, I don’t blame the Garrison, like I’ve said, Shiro accepted the risks and chose that job. Now we have to accept what Shiro wanted. I’ve always said I encourage the kids’ interests and respect their decisions, I can’t stop doing that just because I don’t like the outcome.”

“What do I have to say to the parents of kids who want to be astronauts? Encourage them. Buy them a telescope, watch their eyes light up at night. In fact, that’s why I’m creating the Shiro Space Foundation, to help fund and organize the formation of astronomy clubs in schools. Because that’s what my son would want.”

Slowly the media ran out of similar questions and sympathy statements to use the Wayne name with, but Bruce knew that each release of new info about the mission would only restart the onslaught.

***** Dick and Cass went to collect a few of Shiro’s things and some gifts and cards from the Garrison.

They also were checking in on Keith, something requested in Shiro’s will.

Dick reported back that he was seeing the facilities counselor for required visits and that a few upperclassmen who had been friends with Shiro were keeping an eye on him.

Cass told Bruce that she read the boy as taking it hard and blaming authority.

Jason came back from a second visit laughing bitterly. Apparently Keith knew of him from stories as “Jay”, Shiro’s brother who hated the media and therefore hid from it. Jason then made a bittersweet observation.

“He’s an angry at the world black haired orphan. Apparently your taste in trainee is a family trait. That’s probably why he never brought him home here, Alfred would have given him a room thinking he was one of yours.”

Bruce tried to focus on how proud he was of Shiro for taking someone under his wing. That kind of compassion was an excellent trait to have.

*******

Batman hesitated before emerging from the shadows on the rooftop. Around the corner of the structure housing the roof-exit access Spoiler and Red Hood were supposed to be waiting for him. But he heard a third, female voice that was not Black Bat. It was Catwoman, but her tone was serious.

“-y’know him, he’s getting a little antsy,definitely plotting, but the rest of us can keep him distracted for a few more weeks at least.”

“Even the time you’ve given us so far has helped. I don’t know if he’s noticed but-” Red Hood was the one to reply.

“-Not that we couldn’t have handled it without him, but he’d take control of everything.” Spoiler interjected with a hint of defensiveness. Batman could picture her crossed arms and cocked jaw.

“I know. And if something does happen, I’m not the only one willing to help you this time.” Catwoman reassured. “The Rogues respect Batman enough to give him time to mourn, plus, you heroes hit harder when you’re upset.”

Batman felt a cold wash percolate down his spine at the vague reminder of what had happened. He aggressively ignored that to digest the new information. Retrospectively, the past few weeks had been quiet, with no capers by the usual miscreants, only mundane petty criminal violence.

The past month had left him so busy with his civilian life that he hadn’t had time to dwell on why things had been so quiet after hours. Suddenly a number of recent events made far more sense in the lense of the Rogues knowing something.

The flowers on his patrol route being unseasonably lush with their blooms open a little longer past dusk than natural.

Harleen Quinzel saluting him with a solemn expression while walking her hyenas in pajamas at five in the morning.

Bank robbers found trying to thaw out their getaway car’s frozen engine.

Batman was brought back to the conversation by Red Hood speaking again.

“What exactly did you tell them? Because it’s not like they ever saw-… It’s not like when it was me and they noticed the lack of Robin.”

“I kept it vague,” Catwoman paused, voice tired, “Just that Batman had an adult civilian son and he…”Her voice choked off. “That was enough for them to understand. Enough of them have civilian relatives themselves.”

“Thank you.” Spoiler reiterated.

“Of course. And how are you kids handling it. I know I’m no counselor but Batman is an emotional brick. If you need to talk…” Catwoman offered.

“It’s hard but we’re all working through it together.” Spoiler answered slowly.

“Yeah, helps that there’s no hard feelings and no blame… just grief. He was… he was close to each of us in a different way and that’s something we all have in common.”

“There are a lot of good times to remember and talk about.”

“I’m rather relieved you’re coping well. I didn’t know him as well as you, but from our limited encounters, I am grateful I knew him.”

Catwoman was gone when Batman showed up on the rooftop to confer with his silently waiting partners. *****

Bruce had loved the night for years. He spent most of his time out in the dark and, in between the moments of staccato sensation of fighting, there was the peace and calm. The lights of Gotham danced in the streets below him, a distant world of nightly reverie he watched and protected.

Thirty years ago, before the ordinances and bulb replacement projects he had heavily backed, the light pollution from the street lights and skyscrapers had drowned out all but the brightest of stars from the sky. Now it was greatly lessened and entire constellations were visible in the breaks in the clouds.

Bruce could remember driving out to the countryside with his parents as a small boy, lying out on a blanket on a grassy hill, and marvelling at the constellations while his parents spun the tales of the myths that those celestial patterns told.

Now, the stars were mocking points of light - too literal spots of hope on the inky darkness of reality. The night sky held Bruce’s hopes and fears.

If he felt embittered by the sky from Gotham, it was nothing to time on the Watchtower. He did not let himself shirk monitor duties there, no matter how many offers of coverage he was given by every other member of the League. Instead he would carry out his shift, sitting in a silence more stony than previous, resolutely focusing on the computers and monitors, not the expansive viewports.

He still freshly remembered the first time Shiro had come to the watchtower. He had left Gotham to Dick, Jason, and Barbara and taken Shiro to the nearly empty space station. Shiro hadn’t asked to see the Watchtower after he had found out that the league had a headquarters in orbit, he had still been too hesitant with his role in his new family and afraid of pushing a limit to request that. He had, however, asked a slew of questions about the station and the brightness in his eyes had allayed any reservations Bruce may have had about taking a “civilian” there.

Shiro had been fourteen and a set of long, coltish limbs restraining trembles of excitement. His arms had been clinging to a stack of books - homework and an astronomy book - and his eyes had been wide behind the rudimentary domino mask Bruce had deemed necessary.

Diana had smiled at his enthusiasm on her way out.

Bruce had picked a night where the only league members present were ones who already knew his identity, Shiro’s wasn’t one he was willing to risk haphazardly. The less people who knew about his connection to Batman, the safer both the family’s identities and Shiro himself were.

He had given Shiro a tour, showing and explaining much of the systems that ran the watchtower and lingering at viewports on each side. Then they had returned to the monitors and Shiro had spent the rest of the evening staring out the windows and telling Bruce his observations.

In his early teen years Shiro became a fixture of Bruce’s shifts there. He went with him every opportunity he was allowed. Bruce also liked that it let Shiro meet his “coworkers” without having Shiro anywhere near real combat or inviting more people to the batcave.

Even as he aged, Bruce had given him clearance to come to the watchtower to visit during weekends off from the school campus.

He associated the watchtower nearly as much with Shiro as associated it with the Justice League. It was a hard place to be.

**** It was the middle of the afternoon when Bruce’s phone pinged. His personal cellphone that was linked with the bat computer.

Damian was at work with him today, rocking in a swivel chair with a textbook balanced on his knees, and he lunged for the device before Bruce could.

“I know what phone this is. Is there some attack or something happening?” He read the notification with a furrowed brow, textbook readily abandoned and shoved to the floor.

Bruce reached over and snatched the device out of his hands. It was a series of symbols and code words sent to him by an automated monitoring system linked to the batcomputer. He opened his laptop, inserted a black bat-logo’d flash drive, and interfaced with the cave computer.

“Someone’s hacking a specific part of the Garrison computer.” Bruce said to fill Damian in. His son had moved to hover around his right side to watch the screen over his shoulder.

“Why would they do that? Is someone trying to launch a rocket?”

“No, they’re accessing probe and transmission records from a secure file. What I’m trying to figure out is who’s doing it.” Bruce explained, fingers moving quickly and gaze focused.

“Is it foreign? Wasn’t Luthor mad that space exploration privatized?” Damian speculated. Bruce grunted and frowned, pausing. He was secretly keeping tabs on anything related to the Garrison Kerberos mission. He had minor alerts for new or changed information in them, copies of all deleted files, and notifications when certain people accessed them. This was the first time a compromise alert had come in.

“The hacking coming from inside an office at the Garrison headquarters. But the computer is marking it as an intrusion.”

“Maybe the guy just forgot his password.” Damian was obviously disappointed at the anticlimactic answer.

“Ah. Whomever is doing this is using outdated security passwords for minor things. Passwords that weren’t flagged immediately as incorrect.” Bruce’s brow uncreased.

“Why? Shouldn’t a facility like that have at least some cyber security?”

“They do. Their computer didn’t automatically classify this as an attack because the codes used were those of Sam Holt.”

“Oh.” Damian became quiet, almost cautious, the way that was becoming typical with anything regarding Shiro. Bruce appreciated that Damian, who often frankly expressed his opinions of people, had been keeping quiet about Shiro and what happened around his siblings. Damian was very hit or miss for his interactions with people and only then in the long run. Bruce, despite mental efforts otherwise, found himself wondering at the lost potential of what Shiro and Damian’s relationship would have been.

The results of a cursory look at the Garrison indoor security cameras proved Bruce’s hypothesis of the identity of the hacker correct. He closed his laptop. It would be hypocritical to deny access to her when she had as much right to those files and the truth as he did and for the same reasons.

A Room, Please

It has been a long time since I have had the urge to take so many risks. I’m beginning to think that maybe I haven’t changed as much as I had hoped. Or just maybe, I’ve changed more than I could have ever dreamed possible.

This all started when I created that profile. As they say, you can’t win the Lotto if you don’t play. I’ve known for a while that I’m not happy with my current place in life: my marriage, my job, my life in whole and in parts. A little over a year ago I was not loving but I was living my happy, mediocre, Midwest-life. I was making medium income and managing a messy marriage. I met the best people, loved my job and my network was strong enough to distract from the weight of the void I was trying so desperately to avoid thinking about. It was what I had become accustomed to because to be honest, it’s what I settled for. And I knew that. When I moved from the Deep South to the Midwest, I told everyone it was for love, but deep down I knew it was to save myself. I didn’t belong there and I knew it.

Since my family moved us to the middle of Trump country, when it was still just Jesus and the Confederate Flag country, my senior year of high school, I knew what kind of shit my present and foreseeable future had in store. So I busted my smart ass and took my grades from a 1.2 my freshman year to a 3.2 my Senior year. I wasn’t stupid, I just lived in a foreign country from 8th-10th grade and happened to live it up a little too much. I passed my tests but didn’t do the homework, and didn’t show to class. Skipping class and getting into mischief suited my priorities at the time. Roaming the foreign countryside and meeting the world face to face was my passion. To my parents disappointment of course. So when we moved to the South, of all places, I knew this would be the best place to tighten up a little and find the direction I was looking for. And for a while it was exactly that....Except until it wasn’t. The first five years were straight dedication, a little bit of distraction, and very good on paper. Then heartbreaks happened. Eventually I began finding solace in other lost souls. This led to about five years of wandering through the various drug scenes as you can imagine. I tried almost everything once and most of it I liked, in moderation. But then came the time when moderation when straight out the window and I found myself in a jail cell for 2 months, praying I hadn’t fucked my life up entirely at that point. Fast forward and I am on probation. I am also unemployed. I’m back in Community College, but living at home with no opportunities, as I saw it.

That’s when he came into my life. I’m going to save that story for another chapter, because this one is a little further from the beginning of when a “Happily Ever After” didn’t seem like such a fucking laughable and obscenely misleading form of emotional torture. The lies we tell ourselves from youth are forgivable, believing them when we grow up is not. He came into my life and I accepted it wholly. I was finally ready to give something my all, and he was giving me his hand as to escape from this hellacious bubble I had found myself in. Little did I know that I was just going to be trading in one prison for another. Where could I even begin? I won’t, but let me just say that I was way too kind and way too giving, and in the end it has shown me that you can’t just save a little bit of yourself, you have to save all of yourself.

So this is chapter one of how I decided to save myself.

I met Fabio on a hook up app. I have always been more selective than most when picking my lovers. I haven’t always been able to filter out the bad lays, boring conversations or awkward encounters, but over time I’ve gotten much better as choosing wisely. There was one guy recently, before Fabio. He was conveniently located within walking distance, and on paper represents all of the qualities I am searching for in an extramarital love affair, but to be honest, he was not even close to the mark. He was juvenile in character and when he took his shirt off, you could tell he lived his 20s reliving the 90s by tattooing every inch of torso and limb on his body with all of the cliche pop culture tattoos that were popular in that entire decade: tribals, Chinese characters, alt bands, clowns, and you name it, he had it. I was more turned off by how he bragged about nine inches while only packing half of that, and he guaranteed multiple O’s that he did not deliver on. So I was already over him and looking for the next best one when Fabio popped into my inbox. The conversation was honest and brief. He had only one pic, a topless torso that was ripped and tan, with a clenched left fist. Straight up to the point, his bio mentioned discretion so I came out with that I was married and asked if he minded. He said no and that he is married too. He asked if I liked to party and in the back of my mind something registered. I was picking up the hints. I asked what he was doing and he said he was about to smoke. I asked if it was cannabis, he said no to guess again, so I guessed tobacco. He said no, again. So I said “Tina?” Not knowing exactly what I was onto but having a pretty good idea. “Bingo.” He replied.

I can’t tell you exactly how it went from there but he gave me his number, and then we texted. He told me to download an app, and I did, so we could keep our messages private and also to send some naughty pictures and videos. This went on for a couple of days then I had a day off coming up and we made plans to meet, get a room, and go from there. But I was anxious and got called in to work. I wouldn’t have gone in except that my husband and I work in the same place and he called me for my supervisor, volunteering me. So I blew Fabio off once. I thought that would have been the end of it but he still wanted to get together. Then on the next day off I got called into work again, and explained to him I was sorry, but we would make it happen. Well, finally I resolved that Monday was it, while the hubby was a work, and behold, it happened. Fabio picked me up, a few blocks from my house by a neighborhood park. I walked there and I still wasn’t sure of my decision the whole time, that is, until I got into his truck. He had a huge smile on his handsome and rugged face. He hugged me and we drove off in the direction of the back roads I knew led to the hotel. We had to be careful for many reasons. I knew half of the Sheriffs department personally and one in particular is my neighbor who’s wife and coworker who has a huge fucking mouth. Also, pretty sure crystal meth is still illegal and I knew he had that. But he touched my knee, then my thigh, then he leaned in to kiss me while the truck raced down the bending half-canopy road. I was in pure bliss. It had been over two months since my husband had initiated anything, not that it was even worth mentioning. I honestly had been craving the touch of someone else for almost a year. To hell with behaving. It was time. I let myself get lost in the intimacy and by the time we got to the hotel, I was flushed and my legs were jelly. He had such a flirtatious and electric vibe. We got out of the truck and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side while he ran a finger through my hair and kissed me passionately. We walked into the lobby and in an instant, my face must have dropped because his face went from cheesy grin to straight grimace. Nina! An old supervisor from like five years ago. She was perched at the check in desk in conversation with one of the housekeepers. I had seen her recently, maybe 9 months ago. She shopped at the store I work at and I was certain I told her I moved away, got married, had a house fire so “we” moved back. Yes, house fire, but that’s another chapter all together. My head was thinking “shit” but my body was like “We gonna get a room so we can fuck”. So we walked up to the counter and she immediately recognized me. As I get to the counter, she sees I have a friend with me and proceeds to say in front of her coworkers and another guest “You know we don’t rent by the hour!?” To my complete and utter shock. I’m fucking appalled. But I know this is the only hotel for 20 miles that’s anywhere within my budget. So I blow off the insult and make up an excuse, I have guests arriving and need a room. One night. I play it cool until we get the key cards and go to the truck to bring up the goodies to the room. Once we get inside, it’s on.

To be continued...