things to do instead of eating

+ do your nails! long and coffin shaped to lengthen and slim your hands/fingers

+ listen to angsty music. a good cry always helps me lol

+ online shopping! look at all the cute sleeveless tops and low rise jeans that you aren’t confident enough to wear now

+ hair and makeup! try a new style or experiment with different looks. plus i don’t like to eat afterwards because it’ll get messed up

+ browsing ana tumblr and sometimes reddit

+ listen to bands you’ve never heard of and get music recs from friends! i love broadening my horizons music-wise, and just think about all the concerts and punk shows you can go to once you get skinny

+ send a risky text! i immediately lose my appetite lol

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

more kitties that live in my sketchbook

peppino "never tell the health inspector" spaghetti

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino] [gustavo]<- u are here [gerome] [noisette again]

the real tragedy of tlou is that in saving ellie’s life, joel dooms their relationship. it’s not tragic that he killed a hospital of ppl and prevented a cure bcus we have no emotional attachment to any of those people or the notion a cure might actually work and fix the world. we’ve travelled across that world with ellie and joel and seen how it’s in pieces and how unlikely it could ever be fixed the way the fireflies imagine. but emotionally we ARE with joel and ellie and as we see them in that car and hear joel tell his lie and see ellie’s face, we know that things can’t be the same for them again. i am now and have always been of the opinion that joel lies in that moment to protect her from her feelings of guilt and the burden of thinking she has 2 save the world (and ive always said too he should have told her the truth eventually instead of her having to force his hand to get it), but regardless of that the choice joel made and the lie is always going to be between them. things will always be a little different now. an unspoken thing that eats away at the space between them, making it bigger and bigger. and that’s why it’s really tragic because joel picked ellie’s life over and above anything else cus he loved her and thus knew her life had value independent of being a cure to save the world and she should get to live it, but whilst she is living it (something she is only able to do cus he saved her), he has to watch from afar. he saves her and loses her at the same time.

greg said actually i wanna take YOU out and I'M gonna pay for it

I found out some stuff about Oni's and I have a whole bunch of new headcanons for Lloyd and Garmadon..

snail eater ^_^

hahaha wheee haha

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this would fix them trust me

hi guys i lost 5.6 pounds in 6 days and i feel sooo good rn, not even hungry or anything😭😭😭as long as i distract myself throughout the day (playing video games with my gf, watching mamma mia and elvis and other colorful engaging movies) and don’t eat before the afternoon I think i’ll be able to keep this up !!

Quick food log and weigh in for the day >_<+

+1 cup of cereal 🥣: 93 kcal

+leftover thai rice 1/3 cup with <tbsp of soy sauce: 66kcal (didn’t finish it)

+ 1 whole fun pop(50kcal), 3/4 fun pop, and most of a fun pop: 132kcal

total: 291 kcal !!!

and i had most of my calories in the evening so i don’t feel hungry at all and I think ill be able to make it until this time tomorrow again! :)

i know the fun pops are a poor choice but they’re the only sweet i allow myself 😅 i’m a bit of a sugar addict but they keep me from binging haha

(new) SW: 192.8

CW: 187.2

GW: 180

lbs lost: 5.6 !!!!!!

(i’m a 5’8 for reference :p)

This is a very very unfinished thought but I've been thinking a lot as I reread the books about how the women of House of the Dragon don't really get catharsis and how that'll likely be worse in S2. Say what you want about asoiaf but a number of named women there experience catharsis.

They kill their abusers (Lysa, Cersei, Dany). They regain some agency after a violation (Lysa, Cersei, Lady Stoneheart, Dany), and they refuse to forgive the people complicit in their subjugation (Lysa, Cersei, Dany, Lady Stoneheart, Jeyne Westerling).

Obviously, three or four isn't enough in such an expansive cast of characters but the point remains that they claw back their autonomy however they have to. They're allowed to be angry, bitter, unforgiving and cruel to their abusers in a way women in House of the Dragon just aren't allowed. They're allowed grief, grief that is violent and destructive.

The women of House of the Dragon don't get angry. They stand around and stare plaintively at the camera, they cry prettily, and they plead for peace and non-violence. They suffer and suffer and suffer and there's no relief.

Btw I can't lie I find it INSANELY funny how many people have fallen for not just the tsams thumbnail, but ALSO tlaes thumbnail. You are all, in fact, the april fools

i turn 29 on july 1st. i feel like i make a lot of these notes to myself, to check in. hi, me, here's what's happening.

hi, me. hi, you, too, if you keep reading. here's some rules i have been following:

when a book is bad, i put the book down. i choose something i like instead. when i don't like a movie, i don't make myself watch until the end. i care less and less what people think about me and focus more on being a good friend.

for the 6 months or so, i've been asking people what they think should be my next book or tv show. i ask them where i should go on a walk next week. i ask them what food i should try next, what hobby. and then i write it down in front of them.

the truth is some stuff slips through the cracks. but most of the time? within two weeks, i get to send my favorite kind of text - so i tried the thing you were talking about and !

i have a new policy for split-second choices - it's better to try it. i have social anxiety. i have to talk myself into doing many things. i am constantly battling the desire to run away as far as my feet will take me. and then i stand up and i do the thing anyway. i make myself act and dance and sing. sometimes, yes, i know-immediately never again, i hate this. but most of the time - i just have fun with it.

i have a new mantra - nobody is scorekeeping. at the end of my life, there will be no grand reading of how many calories i'd been eating. no reviews on how many boring documentaries i forced myself through, no calculation on how many hours i endured an extremely dull educational podcast. and so what if i try karaoke and i don't actually nail it? so what if i stumble over my words while trying to make a public announcement? so what if i wear something too-showy to go to the grocery store? nobody there knows me, and: nobody's keeping score.

life doesn't resolve with a grade (i know, i was as shocked as everyone else when i realized it). i am not falling behind, because there's no curriculum to life that i should be following. there are no checkpoints; nobody is making sure i have a fully-furnished life resume. i am just here for as long as the earth will have me, and i get to decide what makes me happy.

i don't have a partner or a house or anything that is supposed to belong to people-my-age. i spend most of my time focusing on being kind, compassionate, ready to listen without restraint.

and honestly? i feel good. like actually. i kind of like it this way.