#they're so fucking tragic why did i do this
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Is nickloon toxic? And even if it was would that necessarily be a bad thing?
Okay anon I have like 4 posts explaining their relationship and why it isn't toxic/why it needed to happen, you can find those on this masterpost (I'd recommend also reading the Nickel's and Suitcase's ones to better understand their friendship), and listen
I actually love toxic ships when there's love on them or there are such topics as miscommunication, both parts not knowing the harm they're doing to eachother, or one of the parts having good intentions but acting horribly, etc, etc. But a toxic ship only really works (to me) when you have something to care about and there's actual love there. Man, I ship Nickcase, and those guys were terrible for eachother on s2, but I see the appeal on how tragic they are and how meanwhile it was really fucking bad for Suitcase, Nickel did have good intentions on protecting his friend from someone who he thought was dangerous, and really fucking wants to apologize to her and make up for everything. Nickel changed a lot and he was never intentionally malicious on his behaviour towards Suitcase AND Baseball, he meant well, and when he realized he was on the wrong, he immediately made sure to start working on himself and letting go of the walls he built. Nickloon isn't toxic. They're actually one of the healthiest friendships on II and one of the ones with the most communication, Balloon wanted to be on good terms with this guy and Nickel changed because of both Suitcase and him.
So like. Liking a toxic ship isn't necessarily bad. You can explore the dynamic and if there's genuine love there you can make it tragic too, but honestly there are toxic ships that are fucking boring and there isn't anything to care about and are just. Abusive. And completely misses the point of the characters. And mischaracterizes them terribly to the point it doesn't even show their actual story. And they just suck. (coughcoughYouKnowWhatShipI'mReferringTocoughcought4c0miccoughcoughcough). But Nickloon isn't toxic, but you can still explore and study their arc together to understand why Nickel was like that, and why they actually needed to happen.
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I genuinely do love the prison arc and find it fascinating and I wish it was easier to find content and analysis about it that didn't veer to any of the Very Not Fun extremes
#my observation is that only people who enjoy both c!tommy and c!dream are capable of writing prison arc c!q#if they only like c!dream then q gets turned into a heartless hollow monster who exists only to wring out angst#if they only like c!tommy then the torture is either barely acknowledged or gets turned into a haha funny girlboss move#both of you are boring. where are the LAYERS.#and c!sam. guy has such a compelling fall from a well-intentioned and tender-hearted dude to somebody who will kill and torture so easily#i think it's very possible to acknowledge that both of them parallel c!dream by design without. like. drawing direct equations?#parallel lines don't intersect after all.#and acknowledging that c!dream is the victim of something incredibly unjust doesn't mean absolving his past injustices#it's just... the more time goes by the more weary i am of the ''who's worse than who'' competitive brand of analysis#i'm so much more interested in how these characters got to where they are. how they justify themselves. and how they will go forward.#and how everybody around them reacts! vibrations in the web and all of that. how does it affect people and what message do they take?#still holding out hope for c!sapnap to hear about the torture from c!q#let's see how much weight those making-amends letters really hold#and for c!sam to have a talk with c!tubbo. maybe muster up an apology. process what he did so he can move forward.#and for us to see literally anything about how c!dream is coping with whatever the fuck all of that was#my guy. my dude. WHY would you do that. there is nothing in the world that is worth it#he's hurt too many others and been hurt too badly himself. he needs the ends to be worth it but nothing ever will be.#they're all three slightly different flavors of horrible and they're all just so fucking tragic#anyway i think i've ranted long enough in these notes#i just needed to get this out somewhere#dsmp
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the way people are once again removing all the nuance and moral greyness and complexity out of the last of us, but especially joel miller’s character is kinda concerning lol
#i told myself i wasn't gonna get into the discourse but i was reading through some of the posts and comments in the tlou tag and... oof#like i get it i could write whole essays about my feelings on this story and its characters and the ending ect.#but a lot of people are already getting annoyingly defensive of every single one of joel’s actions#literally stripping him of all of the flaws and complexities and moral greyness that make him such a great character#why are yall turning him into a clean cut selfless hero that did everything right like that's so boring#what’s most frustrating is how people are completely ignoring ellie’s perspective in all of this#some even just pushing her entire character aside in favor of joel#only bringing her or her trauma up when they’re trying to justify something joel did#and treating her like an accessory to his character when you should be reflecting how his actions are gonna affect HER#i hate to break it to yall but if you bring this highly romanticized version of joel into the next season#yall are NOT gonna have a good time#it happened once and it will happen again and i know the inevitable backlash is gonna be twice as bad this time that’s why im concerned#anyway those are just my two cents that no one asked for if you see me posting any type of discourse again pls shoot me lol#and please don't think i'm a joel hater either those people are just as annoying they're just in the minority i think especially on tumblr#why can't we just enjoy joel for the morally grey complex and honestly fucked up and tragic man that he is#it's like joel defender this joel hater that let's just be joel enjoyers#or joel lovers that'd be me because i love him with all my heart 🥺#especially hbo joel like his characterization was so good he just hits different and honestly i prefer him over game joel#and i do enjoy the occasional ''joel is innocent/did nothing wrong' memes/jokes i think they're hilarious and ultimately harmless#(also the joel/abby memes but that's another story sjafhksaf)#this was more about the people writing almost whole ass dissertations or actively starting arguments in their fervent need to defend joel#okay im done lol#lucy rants#i tried to keep this little rant as spoiler free as possible because there's no way in hell im tagging this asjfknsa this was more for me#if you read this whole thing through the end: hi i hope your day was good and if it wasn't i hope it's great tomorrow :)
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trying to nail down eli's character rn (aka my fanon version of danielle)
so here are some characters i can see her taking after
#i'm considering rolling youngblood's character into hers since i'll be honest as a character he rlly isn't THAT#distinct or unique enough where i don't think much would be lost if i were just axe him and fold him into eli's character#him and dani are both child characters who show up have 2 eps where they're plot relevant#again they're not like SUPER well defined as characters#they both just kinda act like your standard child character in a cartoon would imo#so the backstory i'm currently brainstorming for her is that instead of being danny's clone she's a girl that went missing a couple yrs ago#and was never found she's basically a runaway who tragically died and likes to play pretend/read books as a form of escapism#from the crappy life she had when she was still alive and living w her parents#ig if you're wondering as to why she's not a clone here is bc imo i think valerie could've served danielle's role in the narrative just fin#had the writers actually fleshed out her mentee/mentor relationship w vlad actually#so in my eyes it's not necessarily plus why have vlad idk like try to actually emotionally manipulate danny after bitter reunions#and get him back into his good graces instead having him yk make clones or w/e#like i think it's funny how vlad's like 'man i rlly want danny to abandon his father and be my son'#(proceeds to do literally NOTHING to make that happen bc he continues to just be an asshole to his nephew once he knows the truth lol)#also for as much as i extend sympathy to maddie/jack bc to me they're brown immigrant parents who are clearly flawed but trying#i don't want eli to get adopted by them simply bc yeah no offense maddie/jack but you guys literally fucked up the 2 kids you did have#so maybe let's not add a 3rd one to the mix ok#also i should mention that eli's name is a nickname (her given name is elizabeth but doesn't rlly like going by it anymore)#robi rambles
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Y'know what the most fucked up abt the whole B111-1 detail is to me? Its a god damn coin flip if it implies some seriously heavy details abt her character and just general morals or if it means absolutely nothing. If it's meant to imply that she was the person who volunteered for the memory transferal trial then it'd not only further showcase that she's fully aware of the duplicant situation, but it'd also imply that she's Been aware of Nikola's fun lil project even if only on a surface level. It could also just be that they stole her dna too and she doesn't know shit. As much as I want to argue that it'd make more sense for it to be the latter due to the fact that she's the Only character to have that fun dash number situation in Any of the logs and it's only in the one we can presume to be quite late in the timeline, I can't deny that it could just as easily be an error or meant to imply smth else. In particular, there's a lot of oni logs that had mistakes and inconsistent details that had to be fixed later, so while I dont actually believe it was a mistake, I can't fully deny the possibility. Nails waking up and deciding to write a log that would redefine so much of what we know if they talked abt it in even 2% more detail
#rat rambles#oni posting#ofc knowing who thay first human trial was done on is the most important to me personally but like also#theres so much juicy duplicant worldbuilding thats Almost talked abt and Kinda implied#I dont talk abt the dupes from a lore perspective very often but they are genuinely tragic to me#and it's not even my typical ooo identity bullshit thing because well. they probably don't even know What they are#its more so how just generally fucked up they are genetically#like they Are humans like obviously they're literally clones but so much work was put into making them not humans#physical cuts to make them easier to mass produce is just the start of it clearly a lot of work was put into taking away their free will#they also likely heavily rely on their cranial chips to navigate as thats likely how the printing pod communicates with them#remember its pitch black underground and while I do hc that they were altered to have somewhat better night vision that doesnt mean a whole#lot when theres like actually no light in your environment because you're trapped underground#and in general I imagine dupes have worse eyesight partially as a consequence of the better night vision#their brain chips act pretty much entirely as recievers for commands and information from their printing pod#due to the ability for artificial memories to be imprinted a lot of space was able to be relocated to other functions in the chips#but they hadnt actually managed to get that many memory blueprints onto the pods outside of some bare bones basics#aka basic language and survival information#as such your average newly printed dupe will only naturally know how to build and do certain things#some do know more than others tho as some other memory maps did make it in but not as a built in part of all prints#hense why some duplicants start with skill tree skills unlocked already#and thats also my bullshit explanation for the skill unlock animation#anyways I often times think abt how olivia eventually goes into sleep mode and how gameplay wise that doesn't mean anything but in universe#it'd probably have some pretty gnarly consequences including the dupes likely not receiving further signals and commands#they in theory could probably still manually acess the database of their printing pod in the case of emergencies#but given that they tend to see their printing pod as a maternal figure thats kind of like their mom going into a coma#olivia is not beating the deadbeat mom allegations smh
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you and i (back at it again) / steve harrington
summary: steve's left standing alone after starcourt, until you show up for him.
word count: 2.2k
author's note: inspired by this tik tok because i nearly shed a tear also this is my first time posting in awhile be nice pls
He watches his friends reunite with their families, mournful. He stands alone and contemplative by a cop car, the various spots of bruising and swelling on his face beginning to pulse with pain the more his adrenaline began to fade out of his bloodstream. The cops at the station said they'd called his parents house, his house, but no one had picked up. He knew they were home. He kicks a rock near his his foot, shoving his hands in the pockets of the bloody uniform he was still wearing. He wants a shower. He wants to go to bed. He wants to go to bed with the serenity of someone who knew they were loved. He wouldn't be able to do that if he went home. The word home a loose term.
"We can take you home if you need a ride, son," one of the cops says to him. Steve kicks at another rock. Home.
"That's alright," Steve says dismissively, ignoring the tight twist in his chest. "Someone will have gotten in touch with my parents by now. I'm sure they're on their way." The cop looks doubtful. Steve hates that he looks doubtful. Steve hates that he's also doubtful. "Couple more minutes," he swears. He knows he might as well walk his ass home, though.
He leans against the hood of the car, rubbing at his jaw. His hand comes away bloody. He's about to accept the cop's offer for a ride, maybe, he figures, he'll just go to Robin's and sit there for as long as her parents will have him, when a car comes careening into the lot like there's not fifty officers of the law standing around, the tires screeching loudly across the gravel. It's barely at a stop, practically still moving, when you throw the door open and throw your body out of it.
"Steve Harrington, what the fuck?" You leave your car door open, leave it in the middle of the road, still running, to get to him in time. He gazes at you, and it's a stupid look in all honesty, mouth agape, his brown eyes big and tragic looking, his face torn up and swollen. He wasn't expecting you. Why would he have been? You'd been broken up for a few months now and he was still nursing his wounds from it, knowing it was supposed to be for the best; you felt like he was hiding things from you and he knew that he was, hiding all the stuff about the Upside Down, not wanting you involved, wanting you safe. And in a way he was glad for it. He'd gotten through this with you unscathed, and who knows what would have happened if you guys had still been together. When he looks at you, though, when he allows himself to be pulled in closer, your hand coming up to graze his cheek, examining every scrape on his face with softness and worry, he allows himself to want. To miss you.
You tilt his face back, scrutinizing his features. He keeps his eyes on you. You showed up for him. No one else but you. You were here. "The fire is all over the fucking news and I didn't know if you were working tonight so I was sitting by the phone waiting to hear from someone and then your friend Robin called and said you were waiting here for someone to come get you so I just came in case and- and what happened to your face? And where are your parents?"
He shakes himself out of his stupor. "They didn't answer the phone." But you did. You answered and you were here. A wave of pure love rushes through him. He knew a thing or two about being alone, had felt that way for as long as he could remember, no matter how many people he surrounded himself with or how many parties he threw, but you were here, and he wasn't alone. Steve wraps his arms around you in one sudden movement, an outpouring of affection he hadn't realized he'd been reserving for you. Always you.
You stand there for a moment, processing, before you respond, leaning into his touch. The sirens wail around you. Neither of you move. He's safe. You breathe relief into the embrace, holding him tighter to you. He's hardly talking, and usually he's the one talking the absolute most, but he's stunned, both with what's just happened, what he's borne witness to, and with the way you care about him despite everything, more than anyone he's ever met, and the way he cares about you and how could he ever, ever let himself let you go? How could that ever happen? It's all he thinks about as he holds you, feeling safer than he's felt in awhile, the smell of your hair and your skin filling his brain with serotonin.
"Am I taking you home?" You pull away, staring up at him, his ruined face that is still so painfully gorgeous, still so hard to look at. Your hand is remains poised on his cheek. It's warm and welcome.
"No, no, your house, please," he brings his hand up to meet yours.
"I got you, c'mon, honey." He turns and thanks the officers who'd been waiting with him before letting you lead him to your car. He keeps his hand on yours. It tethers him to reality. He's here and he's okay. Or he will be, soon. He's here and he's safe, at the very least. He's not trapped and being tortured. No one's going to hurt him. He's got your soft hand in his and he's okay for right now.
The drive to your house is silent, but it's not awkward. You try to keep your eyes on the road as much as you can but you can't help that they keep finding themselves back on Steve. You've never seen him so reserved. You're sure it was more than a fire that happened back there, and you're sure he won't tell you a thing about it. You drive one-handed the whole way home. You let him need you.
At your house, you get your bathroom set up for him to shower, placing fresh towels on the rack for him, laying out your products on the counter. He would've been able to find them regardless, but you busy yourself with it anyway. When you go into your bedroom to tell him the bathroom is ready, his shoes are off and put into the corner he used to always put them in, and he looks exhausted. "I didn't bring clothes to change," is the first thing he says.
"That's what you're most concerned about?" You give him a funny look. You open your closet and rummage around on the ground for a second before tossing him a pair of his old sweatpants and a t-shirt. He stares at them in his hands. "I didn't know if I should give them back. So I just... didn't." He smiles a little. The first you've seen all night.
"Thanks," he waves them in the air before retreating down the hall. The door shuts and the shower squeaks on.
The way you loved Steve was unconditional, as much as you wish it wasn't sometimes. Even when he was pushing you away, even when he kept things from you, you'd always be there for him. He didn't have anyone in his corner like that. And you wanted to be. It wasn't something you felt obligated to do. You cared about him, and so you went to him. He'd do the same if the roles were reversed. It was unconditional because even when being there for him hurt, you still stayed. You still loved.
When he comes back into your room, his hair dripping but clean, God, he feels clean, his face devoid of dried blood but bruised and wounded, you're waiting for him with a first aid kit and a fresh ice pack. You must've heard the water shut off and gotten everything ready for him. The old sweatpants and t-shirt smell more like you now than they do like him but he's not complaining in the slightest. Something about you keeping them instead of throwing them away or lighting them on fire makes him think maybe there's hope. Not that you had a bad break up to begin with, it was more sad than angry, nothing that warranted a clothes burning, but still. Still, still, still.
He sits down where you indicate, rubbing his towel across his head to soak up the sopping water. His face is flushed from the hot water. You sidle up next to him with the medicine and bandages and try not to get too caught up in him. He places the ice pack on his puffy, blackened eye. He doesn't get it, this gentleness. He doesn't think he deserves it, really. After everything, does he deserve it? Does he get this peace?
"You're fidgeting," you mutter, narrowly missing the spot you were aiming for.
"Oh, sorry," he lifts his chin up a bit more and tries to sit still. You're so patient and kind and it makes him ache a little. You take care of him and it's not for any reason other than you caring about him. He's not used to anyone caring about him. "Are you sure this is alright? You don't wanna... be alone?"
"No, I wanna make sure you're okay," you answer easily, as easy as breathing, swiping medicine across his wounds with the lightest touch you can manage. He hisses in pain, and you wince, feeling it, too.
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
"I want to, Steve, I promise." You pat his cheek, another gentle, affectionate maneuver from you. If he's okay, you're okay. He takes this in. He thinks he really feels his heart expanding.
As you start dabbing at his other wounds, you speak, finally. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can," he replies, blinking up at you with his good eye.
"Was this..." you hesitate. He probably won't answer. "I don't doubt there was a fire but this..." you gesture to his face. "This looks a hell of a lot worse than just escaping a fire, Steve, you look seriously fucked up."
"What, you don't think I look pretty anymore?" He smiles again and you roll your eyes at him, but you smile back all the same.
"You're very pretty, Steve, but you have a black eye and there was blood all over your face and you're all cut up." He swoons just a little when you call him pretty. He's got an ego, what can he say? He continues smiling at you, a little high off painkillers, a little high off being here with you. If he's gotta be tortured he may as well get you back out of it.
"You look pretty, too, y'know," he says softly, his free hand twisting a strand of your hair around.
"Dodging the question I see," you raise your eyebrows at him but say nothing else. It was to be expected.
He takes a deep breath, looking up toward the ceiling, thinking maybe all this time he's just been stupid and silly for not telling you sooner, maybe he could've been with you all this time if he'd just told you, maybe it wouldn't have been the end of the world to have you involved. Maybe it would all be fine. "I wanted to keep you safe from all of it. See what happened to me? It could've been you, if you had been there."
"I would've wanted to be there with you," you insist. "You know I would."
"I do," he nods. "And that's why I don't involve you, babe, if something happens to me it doesn't matter to anyone but if something happens to you-"
"Why would you say that to me? You think I wouldn't care if you died?" You take his face in your hands, and he drops his ice pack. "Steve, are you an idiot? It would matter to those kids you spend all your time with if you died. It would matter to Robin, and to your family even if they take you for granted, and it would matter to me. I love you so much you moron, you can't say it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be here if it didn't matter. I go out of my mind worrying about you, don't tell me you don't matter."
His head spins, in the best possible way. The pain from his wounds doesn't register. Your hands on his face registers. You words register. Everything else is background noise. "You still love me?"
Oh. Your face warms. It's not like it had been that long since you'd called it off, it should've have been a surprise to him, but hearing you say those words makes him light up. You see him light up. "Yeah, of course I do, it doesn't go away just 'cause you won't tell me anything about your life," you grumble, taking your hands off him.
"Hey," he whispers, grabbing for you before you can tear yourself away from him. He brushes the hair back from your face. He has that look in his eyes that make people fall to their knees. Heavy-lidded and tender. Soft. Loving. "I love you, okay? I do. That's why I try to protect you. I'll tell you anything you want." He knows it now, for real, that he can't lose you again. Not this time. "C'mere, come back." You let him pull you in. "I'll tell you anything, please don't leave me, okay?" You shake your head at him. Never, never. He's pleading, desperate. When he moves to kiss you, the desperation is laced in it, he's lurching forward and he's hungry and yearning and your lips meet soft and fast because he wants to savor it after so long.
The disconnect of your lips sends him reeling, he wants to dive back in for more, for more of everything, but you stop him. "It's me and you, okay, always. But you gotta let me all the way in this time." You tap his heart lightly. "All the way, Steve. Everything."
He leans back. He is hesitant and bruised and bloody, a little bit broken, but mostly he's in love. Mostly he wants to give you the world. So he takes your hands in his. He tethers himself to reality. And he talks.
#trying to convince myself posting is FOR FUN i don't have to want to VOM from nerves every time i go to post...#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things#stranger things x reader
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Chekhov Reads Dungeon Meshi: CH46
D....dark Laios?
I mean, you DID consent!
The fact that ghosts can pass through walls and take other things with them... it kind of elicits another type of organism. Like, what can pass through cell walls? What other parts of the body can just yoink stuff from one place and bring it to another?
Congrats! It's all just been a dream!
I'm sorry what the SHIT?!?!?
Well, I-- .... yeah, I GUESS.
Though it looks more like one of those carousel horses.
I think this is probably still inside the dungeon. Very... DEEP. Inside the dungeon.
What? WHAT?! These things are like regular animals down here???
Oh, I--hm. I see.
Ordered by WHOMST?
Is this just an entire society of (humans??? ghosts?) that lives here in the dungeon deep? Is there still a king under the mountain? Are the rumors of the king dying not true at all?
........or are these people and descendants of adventurers who came in but were never able to leave? And the fact that Senshi points out that none of them are old.... are they ageing?
Laios, Senshi n--...... welp. There they go.
Bless this man and his absolutely non sexual obsession with monsters. But.
Izutsumi, who is a human-level intellect beastkin (though she's low on wisdom and patience....) is being very.... beast-ly and soft here. She's being magically compelled, presumably, to chill the fuck out.
Which means all these monsters are also under the same effect? Isn't that a little fucked up? They're basically under a permanent drugged effect.
Also. Hm. 'short lifespan' is....relative. Short lifespan compared to what? Immortality?
Orcs know this place exists....?
These people planting things for fun means they're absolutely trapped here like spirits.
Keeping up appearances for. Whom.
These poor people have no new incomers to talk to, huh.
Oh, I uh---- ................ hm. THat's not at all what I was imagining either.
Fashion is cyclical after all I guess....
Mmmmm. Mmmm-hmmmMMM.
WHEEEEZXE
Knowing I've finally hit these two absolutely iconic panels... amazing.
......I guess it can only do so much to make her docile...... she still doesn't like Laios.
Why does he look familiar...?
....so Derghal had a son. And a grandson. So then why is there a bid for the throne...?
Laios. Laios, is milking the minotaur the ONLY thing you did? Or was there more to it? Laios.
It's interesting. That bartender said he was 600 when he started his now-400 year old ale. So. That means they're 1000 years old.
That means that they're about as long lived as elves? Haven't gone mad yet. But that's still a long time.
That's kinda worse, yeah, but a loss of the self is a type of death, in a way...? So....
The most throwback of all time.
Actually, I feel like that's been there for a while, although it didn't always look EXACTLY like a lion's head. I feel like the little living armor he keeps in there made it that design? But how would it do that on purpose?
this is what it looked like some chapters back. Yeah, it's been sculpting into a lion's mane for a while now.... Ohohohoh playing the long game are we? 👀
Ah, it's not a wolf. How tragic for you, Laios. It'll never work out.
Also, damn, those wings sure be lookin like Falin's very non-dragon wings. What a wild coincidence. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything. :)
laughing hysterically. This poor guy can't get a break. He's been running from responsibility and inheritance for his entire life and it still catches up and trips him purposefully.
There is definitely a certain amount of tragedy there, yeah. These people aren't asking Laios for help because it's easier. They're legitimately stuck in a nightmare scenario. Unless you're someone who can get pleasure from other avenues, living all that time without the basic needs will drive a person mad. Elves live just as long, presumably, but they're still able to eat, I assume.
I'm honestly more surprised they're all as sane as they are.
.......King of Forgor.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi liveblog#dungeon meshi quick reacts#chekhov reads dungeon meshi
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Why do you like Shannon so much?
because i look at her as a whole. she wasn't just eddie's wife. she wasn't just christopher's mom. she was a woman in her own right. and she was... she had a whole life in front of her, you know? not even at the point when she died (but that too), i mean she had her whole life in front of her at the point where she got pregnant. and we know how that was for eddie, you know? we can see, at least in some ways, the effects of christopher's birth and existence on him and how those things shaped who he was and who he became but shannon, in some way, only exists to further his story. and that's fine because, like, he's the main character. but what we do know about her is just so tragic.
think about every teenager you know. every teenager you ever knew. how many of them are ready to be mothers? how many of them are ready to be mothers to disabled children? how many of them are ready to be single mothers to disabled children? how many of them are ready to be single mothers to disabled children while their own mothers are dying of cancer, while their mother in laws are not offering support, and while they're constantly living with the fear that this is forever? because that was her reality. if eddie died overseas, that little glimpse of her life without him would have been her Entire existence for the rest of her life. and i don't know about you, but even as 20-something, that entire existence seems so daunting and overwhelming.
i don't support her for leaving christopher. she fucked that boy up, as we can see now (and have seen over the years) and she shouldn't have abandoned her son, period. have whatever feelings you want to have about your husband but don't bring your kids into that shit. you know? but when i step outside of just that aspect and look at the entirety of who she is? someone just as young and confused and scared as eddie was without receiving any of the grace and understanding that he did inherent, at least, to the fact that he was a soldier at war? i just. man. it reminds me of that poem. you know? they fuck you up, your mum and dad / they may not mean to, but they do / they fill you with the faults they had / and add some extra just for you. and it's just, like, how many choices led them to where they all were/are? all of them.
how many choices from how many people led shannon to getting pregnant by her loser boyfriend? where was her dad? texas dads don't typically let their daughters go get knocked up in high school, btw, so where was he? was he dead? was that, too, something she had to shoulder on her own/with her mom, or did she just never know him? how many choices led her to saying "enough is enough" and walking out? how many sleepless nights? how many tears? how many doctors appointments and arguments and mean words thrown back and forth led to it all just becoming too much? when did she decide she didn't want to be the bigger person anymore? because she didn't decide it the moment she left, that was when she just finally put those feelings into action. she decided it long ago. just, like, how many different choices for how many different people led to all these different versions of all these characters that we know so well?
we'll never know. at least not where shannon is involved. but we can see it in the main characters, so exploring the tragedy of shannon diaz as a viewer, and as a woman, and as a former teenage girl is just. so interesting and so compelling and so sad on so many different levels, like. she deserved better. not just her character, but she, as a woman, deserved so much better. she deserved so many more chances to be the woman/person she thought she wanted to be. when she was a little girl growing up in religious texas, i highly doubt her vision for her life included being lonely, angry, sad, and divorced. and i think the writers (and eddie) do a great job of honoring her as a human being and as a mother. she was not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but that's what makes her so good and so sad and i just. i just love to probe deeply into who she is even if we'll never get confirmation in canon because i think, if nothing else, the character deserves that much
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A Mended Heart || D. Targaryen x oc, Robb Stark x oc
GIF by @lady-arryn DIVIDERS by @straywords
summary: Alysanne's marriage to her older brother, Daemon was once full of prosperity. As thirteen years and six children pass by, their marriage starts to crumble, his loyalty was nowhere to be found and so an annulment was requested. Years later when Daemon's second wife, Laena, dies tragically, the Prince attempts to rekindle his relationship with his dear sister. But is she willing to leave the life she built in Winterfell?
a/n: note that this a request!! i just made it into a lil series :)
P.t 1
"An annulment?" Viserys' eyebrows raises at his brother's absurdity. "She's our sister, your wife, and mother to your children, Daemon. What possible reason do you-" "People change, brother." The Prince taps his finger on the table, already bored and wanting to leave.
Viserys sighs, his hands rubbing his forehead. "And she agreed?" A scoff leaves Daemon's lips. "Whether or not she fucking agrees is her problem. I get to make this decision, not her." He spat, the King was baffled at the words of younger brother. He was treating their sister as if she was simply a commoner.
"And what of the children?" Daemon's mind goes to the image of his six children. A sigh leaves his lips, his head leaning back on the chair, "They are mine. But Alysanne will take them, and, they are still my heirs." Although their marriage was going to be annulled, he still loved his children. They still hold their titles as Prince's and Princess's.
Viserys nods. "I had hoped you and Alysanne were to be together till death parted with the two of you. Please, think about what your wanting to do right now, brother. For the sake of me, Alysanne, your children!" Viserys pleaded, he did not want his family crumbling apart because of this.
"We were always told we were to marry since birth. We were forced into this. |love her as my blood, my sister, but we weren't made to marry each other." Daemon voiced out. The elder lets out a sigh of defeat. "I cannot force you to stay in a marriage with her, but please, I do not want this to be the reason our family is split apart," the King sternly says as Daemon gets up from his seat.
"Of course, your Grace," He bows his head and leaves the room. Viserys watched with sadden eyes, saddened for his younger sister.
"It's done. We are free from each other," Daemon leans back on the chair, his voice flat. Alysanne rolls her eyes as she continues her embroidery. "Where are the children?" He questions, "With their wet nurse, why?" She finally looks at him. "To say goodbye." He stands up, the Targaryen Princess furrowed her eyebrows at him “Where are you going?" Daemon chuckles, "To Dragonstone, sister. Do you think I would stay here in King's Landing?"
Alysanne was surprised that Daemon was leaving so quickly. She did not care though. "No. I know how much you dread it here," She mutters, her hands back working on embroidering. Daemon looks stares at her. She could feel his stare so she looks up with a sigh. "Yes?"
"Goodbye then. Let me remind you that I get to see our children whenever I want-“ “Yes yes I know. You've not only told me about a hundred times Daemon. I'm not cruel, they're still your children," Alysanne replies, annoyed at the constant remindering. "Good, l'll be on my way" He nods curtly at before walking to her.
He awkwardly stands infront of her. Her gaze on his shoes before she turns her head and lets him kiss her on the cheek. Although they used to be Husband and Wife, they were still Brother and Sister. No words were exchanged and Daemon left what used to be their shared bedchambers.
As she sat there alone, she pondered back on their marriage. It was once filled with prosperity but things changed. They both changed. She never forgot how loved she felt from Daemon or how loving he was to their children. His loyalties changed, and they both mutually agreed that this would be for the best.
Alysanne didn't realise she was crying until she felt something wet on her cheeks. "Mother?" Her sons voice called out as she quickly wiped the salty tears away. "Yes, darling" She smiled at her eldest son who was ten-and-two. "Why is father going to Dragonstone without us?" He asks as the Princess moves aside to let him sit beside her.
She smiled, her hands brushing through his blonde hair. "Because your father is staying there from now on, okay?”He still loves you all very much but it is best he stays there and I, here with you all." Her hand moves to his chin to make him look at her. Aegon slowly nods.
"Come on, I think we should go for our walk now," She says brightly, setting down her embroidery, but Aegon doesn't budge. "Father won't be there," He points out. Alysanne sighed, sitting back down. They would all walk together every afternoon when they can, with all the children. But now that Daemon was gone, it was only to be Alysanne and her children.
"Why don't we ask uncle if he would like to join us?" She suggests, attempting to cheer Aegon up. He thinks before nodding. Of course, Viserys was more than happy to go on a family stroll with his sister and nieces and nephews.
"What a fine day it is today isn't it, children?" Alysanne smiles at them as they reply with yes. "What do you plan on doing now, sister?" Viserys asks, Alysanne’s youngest, Visenya in his arms. She sighs, watching her twins, Rhaena and Baela chasing after each other.
"I'm still the Princess, brother. I have many options." She assures him with a smile for Alysanne knew that Viserys was worried. “Oh stop worrying about Daemon and I Viserys. You have more urgent things to worry about as King. We will greatly benefit from this, I can assure you" She pats his arm, “If you say so" The King sighs as Alysanne walks ahead to catch up with the rest of her children.
~
2 months later…
“You look handsome, sweet boy” Alysanne kisses the crown of her Daeron’s head. He was sat on her lap as she brushed through his hair, he was dressed handsomely for the celebration of Rhaenyra’s name day.
Before the Princess could say anything, a knock comes from the door. It was her handmaiden, Dyana. “Princess, I have news” She bows as she urges forward to Alysanne. “What is it?” She asks, intrigued. Dyana awkwardly looks to Daeron who was busy playing with the jewellery on the table.
“I think it’s best if Prince Daeron leaves the room,” She quietly says, her gaze stuck on the floor. Alysanne gives her a skeptical looks but nonetheless takes her advice. “Ser Harwin!” She calls out and the door immediately opens revealing her sworn protector. “You wouldn’t mind if you watched Daeron for a bit would you?” A kind smile makes it to her pink lips.
“Not at all, Princess,” Harwin sends back a smile, “Come one Daeron,” He beckons the young boy as he happily runs to Harwin. After the sound of the door shut was heard, Alysanne focuses her attention back on Dyana. “Now tell me,” “Prince Daemon is betrothed to Laena Velaryon,”
It didn’t faze the Princess that Daemon was already betrothed to another. It did surprise her though, how quickly her brother moved on. Alysanne chuckled, “Oh Dyana, you know I care little of what my brother does. Are they expecting a child yet?” She jokingly says, turning around to choose out her jewellery.
The Targaryen was met with silence. Her eyes move up to the mirror to look at Dyana. “Yes, they are.” She quietly answers. Alysanne did not expect the answer but yet again, she was not much surprised. “Well, I am happy for them. Laena is a sweet girl,” Alysanne smiles, fidgeting with the necklace.
Dyana studies the Princess, she seemed bothered. The door opened, “Princess, the celebrations are to start soon” Harwin says as Daeron peaks his head in the room. “Wonderful,” Getting up from her seat, she takes ahold of Daeron’s hand and leaves the room. Ser Harwin close behind.
It pained the heart of Alyssane in an unexplainable way. Maybe it was because it had only been 2 months since the annulment of their marriage and that he had moved on so quickly from her. Though they used to be husband and wife, Daemon was still her older brother. And she still loved him as an older brother.
Walking into the throne room where Rhaenyra’s celebration was held, Alysanne was accompanied by Ser Harwin Strong. Her six children, Aegon, Visenya, Daeron, Rhaena, Baela, and her youngest—only 10 months old—Maegor with her. It never failed to amaze the realm how much Daemon and Alysanne’s children looked like them.
They were spitting images of their parents and a nod to the people of old Valyria. “Sister,” Viserys stands from his seat and places a kiss on Alysanne’s cheek. “Brother,” She smiles back, sitting down at the Royal table. The celebrations commenced and it was in full swing.
The thought of Daemon marrying and expecting a child still lingered in the Princess’ mind. Biting her lip constantly and tapping her finger on the table, Viserys noticed the signs of his sister’s anxiousness. “Are you alright?” He leans to her and speaks in a hushed tone.
Stopping her finger tapping, she sends Viserys a look before facing the front and sighing. “Our dear brother has remarried,” The King sighs, shakes his head and takes a sip of his mead, “And they are expecting a child.” Alysanne finishes, this time it was her turn to drink the alcohol as Viserys stares wide-eyed at his sister.
He knew what kind of person Daemon was, but lately it seemed like he doesn’t know what Daemon has become. Viserys holds Alysanne’s hand and gives her a reassuring squeeze of the hand. “I can always make that child illegitimate you know? Aegon is your firstborn, a male. And all your children are heirs-“ Alysanne laughs at her brother.
“Viserys, you know if you did that, you would be denying your own blood. I am not worried about Daemon’s heirs with Laena, he too knows that Aegon is the heir and so are our 5 other children. He would be a fool to not acknowledge that” Her eyes stay focused on her children dancing.
Viserys smiles and nods, “Yes, you are right. Like you always are, sister” He pats her hand and the two siblings smile at each other. Conversations fell on the Royal table before a man presents himself in front of Viserys and Alysanne. “Lord Stark, what a pleasure seeing you here!” Viserys smiles at the insanely handsome man standing there.
Alysanne listen quitely, Robb’s and her eyes often connecting. “Yes, always a pleasure to come visit King’s Landing, Your Grace” He chuckles, showcasing his pearly white smile. Then his attention shifts to the Princess. “Princess,” He bows his head at her as she does the same,
“My Lord, how is business up in the North? I’ve always been meaning to come visit with my children. Visenya loves the snow,” Alysanne smiles, her mind going back to her second eldest.
Robb stares with a wide smile at the Targaryen Princess. Something, only Viserys notices. Truth be told, whenever Robb was in King’s Landing, his eyes never seem to keep themselves off of Alysanne. She was beautiful, the realm’s beauty they would call her.
The Stark man was an honourable and respectful man so he never initiated anything with the then married Princess. When news arrived at Winterfell that the Princess and Prince’s marriage was annulled, Robb was secretly celebrating.
Viserys’ yes move back and forth from the Lord of Winterfell and his younger sister. “The children seem to be having fun dancing,” He comments with a mischievous look. Alysanne hums mindlessly. Robb chuckles to himself, giving a nod to the King as a small thanks. “Might I have a dance, Princess?”
#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon#house targaryen#matt smith#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon x reader#daemon targaryen smut#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon targaryen fanfic#fanfiction#robb stark fanfic#robb stark x reader#robb stark x oc#house stark#housetargaryen#king viserys#lucrezia borgia#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#explore#angst
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SENTENCE MEME
BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART SIX
leave us in peace and we shall leave you in kind.
cut the crap.
we just want to go home.
enough of this charade.
i'll not play pretend anymore.
you'll soon learn what it means to ally yourself with the likes of this garbage.
i'm free now, and i'm never going back.
fuck them.
felt good letting off a little steam.
if i burn any hotter, i might explode.
don't get too close until i've found a way to calm down.
it's a bit early to be getting into tragic backstories.
let's save the scar-show for later after we've worked up an appetite for tragedy.
in the grand scheme of things, i'm inconsequential [to her].
she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.
it had the makings of a good stage show, but i did not want to be one of the players.
torture, bloodsport? or perhaps just a good old-fashioned walloping?
you owe me nothing.
i could extort you, if that's what you want.
you're teasing me now.
ignorance is alive and well it seems.
don't make me get the wooden spoon.
you'd best have one hells of an apology for me.
if you think your precious little god holds any power here, you're in for a surprise.
do you treat all your guests so poorly?
i don't like busybodies.
you are as thick as they come.
are you telling me you made love to a goddess?
i shared a bed with a goddess and yet i wasn't satisfied.
shall i share the story behind it or would you rather head straight to its sordid finale?
how are you still alive?
we've come this far together and we'll continue on together.
even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.
i'll rip your spine out of your asshole.
i'll use your blood to spice my stew.
i'll keep you alive until i've sucked the marrow from your bones.
killing me is a waste of time.
you bastard, you ruined everything.
this is an interesting way of thanking me.
a slap is all you deserve.
a hag was never going to help you.
they don't help anyone but themselves.
that double-crossing, filthy, lying hag.
focus on the positive.
forgive the aroma.
perhaps that is why i have survived so long where more fearsome peers have not.
your loyalty is admirable but misplaced.
his kind have charm beyond our mortal means to resist.
who'd keep a secret like that from his friends?
you can't trust anyone these days.
even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me.
why do you insist on exhuming the past?
people think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake.
they're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts.
i am what i must be, says what i must be.
how does it feel to be a devil?
i can't tell if you're being silly or serious.
you have to admire the man's ambition.
i promise i will not betray your trust.
you kept me by your side despite the menace i am.
i learned quick how to stay alive.
to feel invincible again.
this isn't where i thought i'd end up.
maybe when this is all done, you can show me where you came from.
i'm not normally one to begrudge someone their secrets, but..
i'm already blessed to have you at my side.
don't you cut a fine figure.
i am not some lower city coinlad offering you a tumble.
there is nothing so depressing as learning one's true value.
i could use someone with your skills.
they're ravenous predators with fangs like daggers.
it's hardly an irrational fear to harbor.
you've been decent to me, so far.
everyone's got their own fears.
maybe that's what i like about you.
all of this was for nothing.
if you're here to help, get to the fight quickly.
gods, i thought you were one of those beasts.
i'm not chasing after it, if that's what you're thinking.
the little beast's charming once you get accustomed to the smell of rotting flesh.
#sentence meme#rp meme#sentence starters#roleplay meme#starter sentences#rp starters#rpc#starter meme#sentence prompts#sentence prompt#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#writing prompt#bg3 meme
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the blue - part eight
series masterlist // previous // next
zendaya amelia grace holland be honest. how many songs ave you written about oscar?
amelia holland
sam holland the better question is how many songs have you written about fake scenarios in your head?
amelia holland oh that one's easy at least five. this month. i've got a really good one called i should hate you, i wrote that one with aaron.
tuwaine barrett DID CHARLES HELP PRODUCE THIS AGAIN??
amelia holland i think he almost shit himself when he found out aaron was also producing this one.
tuwaine barrett CHAMELIA MY BELOVED! GET THIS MAN ON STAGE WITH TAYLOR FOR A SURPRISE SONG!
amelia holland he's been on my ass about that to. did you team up with him or something?
tuwaine barrett why? did he say someting?
harry holland speaking of charles, how's texas? is it fun?
amelia holland it's hot as fuck.
amelia holland you're in texas now? any plans on coming home?
amelia holland kinda promised oscar and lando that i'd stick around for the triple header. there's a week off in between vegas and brazil but lando's birthday is a few days before vegas and abu dhabi is the next weekend. so i'm not sure. might be home for a couple days at most.
harrison osterfield it's almost like oscar's career is monopolizing all of your time
sam holland for the record none of us have problem with it. this is the first time in a long time we've seen you happy. if traveling with oscar makes you happy, do it. harrison's being a dick, ignore him. but like also please come home for the holidays?
amelia holland is that his default setting? - danny ric
amelia holland sorry about that, the fake american took my phone.
amelia holland real american here, is that his default setting? - logan sargeant
amelia holland charles here! is that his default?
amelia holland this group is tragic. ours is much more fun - max
amelia holland I CAN FINALLY STOPPED BE CALLED NORIZZ BECAUSE CLEARLY THE SECOND STRING LOSER HAS LESS THAN ME! - LANDO
amelia holland i would never piss a songwriter off because you'll be branded as the second string loser for the rest of your life. - pierre
amelia holland i swear they’re normally house-trained - oscar
amelia holland he's lying - alex
tom holland YOU HAVE A GROUPCHAT WITH THEM??
amelia holland it's quite fun. murder is threatened at least 3 times a day and lestappen is in full force. it is no just for the camera, i genuinely think they're in love with each other
amelia holland yuki’s quite violent, in case anyone was wondering. he may be pocket sized but he holds a lot of rage
harry holland and who exactly is in this group chat and why haven’t we been invited?
amelia holland the twitch quartet, max, daniel, yukierre, estie bestie and his two husbands, twinkclaren, and me
harrison osterfield you call your boyfriend a twink?
amelia holland it’s a term of endearment - lando
amelia holland she calls lando a fucking weenie and she called someone a weird second string loser, so i’m okay with twink - oscar
amelia holland WE'RE KIDNAPPING AMELIA! WE'RE IN TEXAS BABY! - DANNY RIC
amelia holland SAVE US! - CHARLES & MAX
ameliaholland posted new stories
someone's super excited to be back in texas
COTA!
pre-quali look with oscaroo. he's not happy at the moment, says it's too hot to be in texas. i agree.
:)
logan said he knew a place and took us to cane's. clearly one of them is happy to be here.
ameliaholland the plans made it out of the group chat, so when in texas...
tagged: oscarpiastri, lilymhe, francesca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, alex_albon, logansargeant, yukitsunoda, pierregasly, georgerussell63, estebanocon, mickschumacher, lancestroll
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tuwaine I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN TEXAS SO BAD
↳ ameliaholland you're missing out so bad tuwaine
tomholland2013 AMELIA GRACE HOLLAND YOU BETTER NOT BE DRINKING!
↳ ameliaholland i'm not? there's a heineken in my hand? it's non alcoholic.
↳ landonorris she literally had shots with max. she's a liar.
↳ ameliaholland shut the fuck up norizz.
username oh god, i've never wanted to be apart of a friend group this bad
username thank goodness someone put boots on the correct way. if i saw another picture or video of the drivers with their jeans tucked into their boots i would riot.
↳ username i hope daniel scolded them for doing so.
samholland1999 PUT SOME PANTS ON AMELIA!
↳ ameliaholland I AM WEARING PANTS! IT'S CALLED SHORTS DINGBAT! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS
username now this is a group i never thought i would see hanging out. at least not all of them together.
username this is so iconic of them wtf?
georgerussell63 i have never met someone who can out drink max, please join us the next time we go out.
↳ harryholland64 did not know my little sister can out drink max verstappen but i'm somehow proud?
↳ username this just in, something max verstappen is not good at doing, out drinking amelia holland.
lilymhe we have to do this again!
↳ francesca.cgomes we do!
↳ alexandrasaintmleux oh, we should
↳ ameliaholland give me a time a place and i'll be there!
↳ carmenmundt count me in too! i would love to meet amelia.
↳ username icons meeting other icons, love to see it.
finish the lyrics with lando norris and oscar piastri
comments
user we were robbed of cowboy oscar!
user lando and the holland brothers being the captains of the oscar x amelia ship is so funny to me
user but who did lando call a dick and why?
↳ user probably harrison, if the context clues we've been provided are anything to go by.
↳ user lando has been their biggest defender since day 1 and i stand by that
user was i the only one who caught that brocedes reference?
↳ user lando knew what he was doing making that joke.
user lando casually wanted to remind everyone that oscar's brother-in-law is spider-man.
↳ user had to quickly flex on spidey's biggest fan, estie.
user and to think this whole joke started because of a taylor song.
user HE CALLED HIM A MUPPET!! THIS IS MONUMENTAL!
user lando is oscar and amelia's biggest defender, you can't change my mind.
↳ user it's oscmelia girl, get it right.
↳ user you're right my bad, terribly sorry.
harrison osterfield i don't exactly appreciate your friend and boyfriend calling me a dick online.
amelia holland and i didn't appreciate being strung along for almost 2 years...
sam holland HOW LONG?
tom holland but he was with his ex for almost a year?
tuwaine barrett oh damn
harry holland you have got to be fucking kidding me harrison.
zendaya never trust blonde men with blue eyes
amelia holland what about max and logan?
zendaya never trust blonde men with blue eyes whose name starts with an h or a j. those two you can trust.
tom holland by the way how's oscar doing? we watched the race.
amelia holland a bit bummed about the dnf but that's the way things go in this sport. besides it's not like it can get any worse than this.
TWO HOURS LATER
amelia holland HOW COULD I BE SO FUCKING WRONG?!
ameliaholland posted new stories
💋
i'm totally going to lose tonight...
you're looking at the winner of the bowling tournament. it was luck really, but operation cheer up charles and oscar was a success.
taglist: @six-call @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @woozarts @dear-fifi @tygecjjd @cataf1 @nothaqks @caipng @nataliambc @formulaal @lichterfee @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @hobiismyhopeu @melissayalene @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @nichmeddar @namgification @anniemae299
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¡leclerc-s speaks!
just when you think he can't get any worse, he does! i have very strong opinions about texas, in case that wasn't obvious. texas was my breaking point + brazil, in case you couldn't tell who my favorite drivers were, you do now.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
#leclerc-s#the blue series#formula 1#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x female oc#formula 1 fic#fanfic#fanfiction#f1#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au
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AGHHHH BIKER!ALHAITHAM HAS POPPED INTO MY MIND AFTER WRITING THAT ASK AND NOW I MUST SHARE IR
- gepard anon (i love alhaitham guys he’s so fucking fine)
you did not just. GRAHSGSBAG
ill get to the hsr one later but sorry my brain came to him because haitham made me SUFFER TRAGICALLY on his banner but its ok i 1st day triple crowned and maxed his weapon.
anyway a biker!alhaitham that enjoys going out and about alone, people always stare at him especially when he's wearing that full face helmet and they're all wondering who that is. he's not all about the attention, but it's amusing to see how people get so interested in him as he pulls up and waits in front of some random building.
oh, how biker!alhaitham gets the crowds going when he pulls off that helmet— pristine and handsome as he leans against his parked bike. out from a bag he brought, he pulled out a random book— many of which never expected a guy like him to bring. many flock to strike up conversation, but they were all so easily shut down.
the cold, cool, yet cruel.
but then they all notice how biker!alhaitham's head turns at the sight of you, and how quickly the book shuts and is tossed back into his bag. of course, when they were all busy staring at the rider, they never questioned as to why there was another helment with him. what were they looking at? that's for you to find out. ( it's obviously his fucking scultped ass body. )
biker!alhaitham whispers a few little things into your ears, and then the final blow to all the bystanders was how his lips met your forehead in a gentle show of affection. he'd normally never do such things in public— but if the crowd wanted to gawk and stare, then perhaps they'll have to deal with him showing off how lucky you were. he helped you put on that helmet of yours, and it wasn't long until he started up his bike again.
it was easy from there on out, putting your arms around biker!alhaitham's waist and pulling yourself up close against his back. oh, the eyes of others were seething with jealousy at this point.
after all...
who wouldn't want biker!alhaitham as their sweet boyfriend who takes you from place to place?
#cryst.box#gepard.anon#crysts.corner#cryst.inteyvat#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x gn reader#genshin impact x male reader#alhaitham#al haitham#al-haitham#genshin alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#gi alhaitham
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Honestly, I think that if Kotoko doesn't have any kind of tragic backstory or deep-ridden trauma and did have a relatively normal upbringing like she says she does, it will probably heighten my enjoyment of her character and her narrative even more.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, my favorite thing about Kotoko's narrative and role in the story and why she is my favorite prisoner is the fact that she is the perfect encapsulation of what I think Milgram is trying to teach.
It is unfair to put her, or any of these prisoners into boxes of good and bad because both are cruel oversimplifications that only serve to dehumanize them regardless of if the audience's intentions are good or bad. By dehumanizing them and partaking in the fucked up justice system that is Milgram, you are emotionally distancing yourself from them. When you emotionally distance yourself from these people, you become more ignorant to the possibility that you could do the very thing that they're doing. That Haruka, Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, Shidou, Mahiru, Kazui, Amane, Mikoto, and especially Kotoko could all be you and you won't know it before it is too late.
That is why even within this system that pushes black-and-white nuance-less thinking, the narrative itself encourages you to look beyond the surface depiction of these prisoners that we are presented with. Because in the words of one Will Wood -
"If you were in my shoes, you'd see I wear the same size as you"
But what does any of that have to do with Kotoko and her backstory? Well, @/archivalofsins / Gunsli made a very good post that explains exactly what I'm going to talk about in more depth, but I'll give it a rundown nonetheless.
It would be very easy for someone to look at a person who has gone through tragedy or trauma who has done bad things, and say in response: "See, I can't become like that because she is abnormal. I could never do that, that would never happen to me.". Now I would hope that you don't need me to tell you that this way of thinking is a white lie cake rich with ableist frosting, but that is a discussion dug into by Gunsli's post. And I do believe, if Kotoko is revealed to have a tragic traumatic backstory, this will happen to her. Because it happened to Amane.
And that is why Kotoko having a 'normal life' would be so important to me and, in my opinion, heighten her already amazing narrative and writing. Her role in the story is to be a audience parallel, she is an embodiment of the system and mindset Milgram as a story criticizes and her actions are a direct consequence of our involvement in it. Milgram is already not subtle about this fact, but Kotoko's ordinary upbringing is the thing that fully hammers the nail in the wood.
Anyone can become like Kotoko Yuzuriha, trauma or not. Her beliefs, her bigotry, her fascism, her violence, and her fantasy to be the chivalrous hero who protects the weak are not things that are alien or only things that form within an "abnormal" brain. In fact, they are very normal things that a lot of normal people across the globe perpetuate wholeheartedly whether they realize it or not. Kotoko isn't some one-of-a-kind individual
She is literally just a girl
#I really hope this goes without saying but this is just my interpretation of Kotoko's narrative and what I think would improve it#I am not Yamanaka so I cannot say what would concretely be the best for her story#I can only form opinions and theories based on what's already been presented to us#haru chats about milgram#milgram#milgram project#kotoko yuzuriha#yuzuriha kotoko#milgram kotoko
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i'm currently thinking about how jean loses himself completely to harry. just dissolves entirely. very little sense of identity left outside his partnership with him, which i find so intriguing. i mean, it's the definition of codependency, but that doesn't make it any less interesting (long post, again).
"i won't let my life unravel because of this." is just so insane and melodramatic to me because WHO is that man to you, jean? and why is his alcoholism the reason for your life unraveling? jean takes on harry's drinking problem as a problem of his own, a threat to his life before harry's, even though the drinking doesn't affect harry's ability to do his job, and jean acknowledges that as well as everyone else in the major crimes unit.
but why does he have such a big problem with harry's alcoholism? why's he the only one out of the task force who seems to care obsessively? because the one before him failed to save him, and he feels as though it's his responsibility now. to jean, harry's life is divided to three parts; before him, during him, and tragically, after him.
the fact jean puts himself in the same position as dora, harry's ex, tells you enough. almost as if he considers them to be the same, in terms of responsibility for harry's wellbeing. he's cleaning up her mess, he seems to think. she was way before my time, as though they hold the same significance to harry. of course, this isn't entirely jean's fault. both him and harry share the guilt of their twisted relationship; harry's guilty of getting too personal with anybody within arm's reach.
and jean's guilty for wanting to clean up a mess that he didn't make, and losing sight of himself and his true professional duties in the process. so it goes like this; they partner up, harry's bad at drawing the line between personal and professional relationships and jean's even worse, harry goes on benders every week and jean witnesses them and tries to pull him out of them relentlessly, which then leads to whatever fucked up partnership they had, right before martinaise. the question is why did jean feel the need to save him? because he projected onto him severely.
they're both broken men; mirrors of each other, though jean will never say it out loud. he sees himself in harry, and since he can't save himself and everyone's given up on him, even the professionals, he decides not to give up on harry. in a way, jean's trying to prove to himself that he's not a lost cause through sticking by harry's side through it all, because if even the most lost of causes manages to have at least one person who's there for them at all times, who says he can't have one too? why must he be labelled as the anomaly? if harry du bois could be saved, so can he. he maintains this "i have my shit together, i'm better than you." persona during the entire confrontation, when he isn't. like i said, harry is everything jean works hard in order not to become, yet he still manages to lose his sense of identity while "saving" him and only becomes "harry's partner". that's all he is. nothing but a safety net, there to catch him at all times.
that's why he becomes extremely defensive when you choose the "kim's cooler than you." option, because you're practically robbing him of his identity. throughout the entirety of the game, he keeps repeating: "i'm your partner", to reassure himself more so than anything else, and what the game does here is very clever. you first hear him say that on a call, so distant and away from you; he cannot convince you that he's your partner even if he tried. then, he says it when he's in an idiotic disguise that you didn't recognize, and quite frankly it's making you uncomfortable, it's hard to take him seriously when he looks so stupid so you don't believe him, again. then at last, when he confronts you, and he's himself. then you think it sticks.
but it doesn't, and you dismiss him again to ask about the others. i've always found it perplexing how there's no "how can you be my partner?" option during the confrontation. you can ask about mikael heidelstam for fuck's sake, but not your partner. simply because you don't believe he is, at least not anymore. he's just a very angry man who was in a stupid disguise, and that's all you can ask him about. isn't that so insanely tragic? when you think about how dismissive the "confrontation" is? and jean's lashing out that way because his whole identity is hanging in the balance? no matter what jean tells harry, there's no click, no lightbulb flickering moment, nothing. jean tries everything, it's painful to see, really. the "i didn't lie to you. no one lies to you." and his lines to judit and trant where he's like "i told you, it's typical harry behavior. it's our shitkid." and so on are all attempts to prove that he, jean, knows him, harry, better than anyone else, even himself. he KNOWS him, which is why harry has to need him. he has to keep him. as his partner or whatever the hell it was, because nobody else knows him or will ever get to know him that way.
jean's response to harry telling them "i don't wanna be in your unit." only further proves it. "i'm your partner, i answer for you when you're not there." considering the fact harry and jean had begun to blur ever since their partnership came into being makes the line funnier lol. jean had locked himself up in a prison of his own making, of course with harry giving him all the means necessary to build his own cage beforehand. it was a matter of time and conditioning, and severe loneliness. every crime of harry's feels like one jean is guilty of.
#lav thinks#of course all of this is what the game gives you since its from harry's pov#who knows if jean has a self outside harry#ig we'll never know!#i love you jean. *proceeds to dissect him for the millionth time* i love you.#woahhhhh this is long... enjoy lol#jean vicquemare#disco elysium
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Just broke my own heart thinking about Rick being absent for Lori’s pregnancy with Judith since he was, understandably, emotionally checked out AND being completely absent with Michonne’s for RJ and how he missed welcoming them both into the world, plus not seeing them grow up as he said, for a man that only cares about his family he must carry so much guilt over that or feel cursed… also thought about Michonne probably being extremely anxious when RJ turned the age Andre was when he died and she had no one to talk to about it. Thinking about her having to deal with it all while being a grieving single mother of 2 leading a community also made me sad. lol I know they’re both resilient fighters but damn all of that is so heavy! I’m so happy they’re all back together now and can start some healing
ANON BESTIE WHAT THE FUCK?
well okay sure. let's be depressing for a bit but then we should go back to grimes family headcanons okay?
it's honestly so tragic that rick was not able to see the birth of the child he wanted so badly, that he didn't even know RJ existed for almost a decade. the length of that time jump is honestly so evil - like yes, on one level it heightens the intensity of their bond, the way that they never even considered anyone else over all those years and stayed completely in love throughout that absence and distance. but god, it's just a really fucking long time. it's devastating!
it's also why I love that scene in the towl finale where rick expresses how angry he is about it, how just for a minute he lets himself say out loud that he just wants to be selfish for once and say fuck it let's go home, because he doesn't want to miss any more time than he already has. i also love the way andy played the reunion with judith and rj: the quiet grief in his face because he's mourning the time lost even while they're right in front of him, maybe even more so. like, of course he was distraught over how much he missed. this man held a shard of glass to his neck when he truly thought he could never see his family again (which i think we moved on from a bit too quickly tbh). his love for his family is his motivation for everything. keeping him away from them is the worst thing you could do to him, which is btw is why i'm not mad okafor is dead.
as for michonne. well my god anon did you have to go there with that andre/rj thing? i mean, yes you're absolutely right and you're completely brilliant but jfc that hurt. i honestly can't even think about those six years michonne spent grieving rick and raising their kids and protecting that community and getting that scar and everything else without getting upset. i genuinely hate it so much. i'm also constantly thinking about the scene where she finds evidence that rick is alive, the specific way her face contorts as she holds that phone like she's scared to even dare to hope, even though she never fully believed he was gone in the first place. we already saw how much she was struggling but that scene makes me want to set myself on fire. it's all just so fucking sad.
so yes. they better be left alone to heal in peace forever no more Situations no more near death experiences no more wars or fascist megalomaniacs with armies to overthrow. they've done enough!
#richonne#the ones who live#side note anon:#i'm a bit confused about what you mean by rick being absent for judith's birth because he was emotionally distant#like yes he was obviously but am i remembering incorrectly or did lori give birth unexpectedly while the prison was under attack?#like i thought he was straight up just unaware it was even happening. i like to think he would have been there if he knew/was able#but maybe i'm giving him too much credit lol#or am i just being obtuse and that's exactly what you're mean by him feeling cursed? because he missed both due to ~circumstances?#not arguing with you btw because i agree either way he's prone to emotionally self-flagellating i'm just wondering if i'm missing something
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Thinking about the Nauglamir, as one does, and just, like I know I have a bias as an Indigenous woman who's historical artifacts are often stolen and who's peoples' treaties and promises are typically disregarded by other authority figures and whose ancestors were treated like animals and hunted for sport but God Thingol fucking sucks in that tale (and in general)
Like I've always kinda disliked Thingol, gives off major White Settler vibes but this whole tale is so tragic when you look at it through an Indigenous lens
We start off with a friendship. Good old Finrod Badger man himself, hears about his cousin Caranthir doing business with a new type of people that Love Gems just like the Noldor! Hes Thrilled!! He meets with the people, Dwarves, and while they are a lot shorter and got more hair than the Men he met, they become fast friends.
He talks about his travels and mentions that he fell in love with the art style of Thingol's domain. The Dwarves are uneasy, cause they have bad history with Thingol's people, but inform Finrod that Actually We Made That. Finrod is Over The Moon and commissions them to make one for him too. As a show of faith, they allow him to build it on a mountain that has history to them and Finrod, you know he would be, is respectful of this and pays them their due and more through Elf goods and more trade then they normally would have
Nargothrond is done and Finrod is super impressed with their skills and commissions them again. This time, to make a necklace of the gems he personally carried over from Valinor. The Dwarves would understand the importance of these gems, they're literally Family Jewels and one of the only things Finrod has left of his homeland
So the Nauglamir is made. From Noldor gems and Dwarvish skill and shared friendship and memories of both parties. Its an agreement, a contract, a visual showcase of the friendship and alliance between the Dwarves and the Noldor.
(My people did this to. We made visual agreements. Wampum belts. Each shell bead took 1 whole day of hard labour to make and these belts had hundreds of them. They're symbolic and important as well as a beautiful showcase of skill and craftsmanship. They are almost always made between friendly nations)
Then we have Azaghal. Who was saved by Maedhros and had a great friendship with him. They exchanged gifts, worked together on an alliance, and probably traded tales with each other. Azaghal and his people would have known why the Noldor are here in Beleriand. They would have known the importance of the Silmarils to the Noldor, to the Feanorians especially. They could avenge their fallen kings, stop the evil from spreading, complete their Oath, and go home. Azaghal was even willing to give up his life, and the lives of his men, to help Maedhros get a Silmarils back.
Finrod is dead. The Noldor are weak and scattered. Maedhros is displaced from his home in Himring, and all the gossip they hear about him is that he's a shell of the Elf he used to be before the Noldor High King died.
A group of Dwarves are ordered to come to Doriath on Thingol's behalf. "Add this gem to this necklace" theyre told. Its a beautiful necklace. Its a beautiful gem. They start to do as they are told but things aren't sitting right with the Dwarven smiths. An older one notices first.
On the necklace with the beautiful and feather light gems, they notice a little sigil on the clasp. Its a Dwarven Smith sigil. They know the only work that smith did with Elven gems was Finrod’s Nauglamir. The smiths whisper amongst themselves in a frantic hiss. Why would the king of the Sindar Elves, one who has vocally stated his dislike and distrust of the Noldor, have Finrod’s necklace that THEY made for him out of friendship?
They turn to the strange gem they've been told to set within the Nauglamir. Its brilliant, beautiful, and glows with an inner light that is so very Elvish. One smith mentions the tale of Finrod, how he died helping Beren and Luthien get a Silmaril. The same Silmaril that the Noldor, and the Feanorians, need. The one their kings died to help them get.
One of the Dwarves feels sick. These are stolen goods. Goods literally taken from a grave and from their allies enemy and given to another that literally wouldn't even spit on them when they burned. Thingol cannot have these goods, from the perspective of the Dwarves, they aren't his. The Silmaril, well, maybe you could make an argument, but the Nauglamir? No way, it was stolen from a literal graveyard of a Noldor city and the person who gave it to him had no right or claim to it ever.
So the Dwarves tell him this. And Thingol is furious. He says, and I quote: "How do ye of uncouth race dare to demand aught of me, Elu Thingol, Lord of Beleriand, whose life began by waters of Cuivienen years uncounted ere the fathers of the stunted people awoke?" And goes nuts. He's throwing out slurs, he's trying to pull a Karen, definitely claiming Manifest Destiny which is so wild and kicks them out without even paying for their labour. For their craft, their skill, their time. He doesn't acknowledge the unwritten treaty of friendship by completing this craft of unimaginable skill.
So they take it back. Sure Thingol died, but he is a thrice over thief at this point and no friend of the Dwarves or their allies.
Then Mr vegan "ill never harm or eat a living being" murders all the Dwarves that are trying to go back home with their rightful due. But what would Beren know about that anyways, he clearly has no head or mind about whats right or wrong as he himself finds it easy to cash in a favour from a king not to help resettle his displaced people, but to ask this king to sacrifice his own men and life to help him get married.
When Doriath is sacked by the Feanorians, oh I bet the Dwarves were pleased. I bet some of them even joined, what with being allies of the Noldor and all. The Dwarves hate the Elves, but not the Noldor who were loyal and trustworthy friends. Who paid and honored their skills and craft, who were cheated by the Sindar just as much as they were. Who fought and bled and died fighting evil while the Sindar stayed behind in their girdle
It was Silverfist Celebrimbor himself, a Noldor and a Feanorian who continued with their relationship. Who gave them rings of power to solidify that relationship. Shame he was betrayed, be he didn't mean harm.
By the third age its a shame the Noldor are the smaller group of Elves in middle earth. They would have helped Durin’s Folk more. The Elves and Dwarves might of had a better relationship. I'm sure Elrond tried, and some Dwarves were warmer to him on account of being adopted sons of Maedhros and Maglor. Buts hes also Thingol's blood, and that is a blood memory type of mistrust.
#Silmarillion#silm#amber rambles#thingol#Nauglamir#maedhros#Azaghal#Im a dirty Feanorian apologists solely cause i hate thingol#get his sir john a Mcdonald ass OUTTA HERE#hes got SUCH a colonizer mindset its shit#also beren and Luthien are sooooooooo white ppl romance coded#if u know u know
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