#they proceed to make fun of me for not understanding the joke. essentially calling me braindead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kalee60 · 3 years

Note

If it inspires you... maybe you could write an established relationship Steve and Bucky where they are completely in sync when it comes to the battle field and the kitchen but there’s one place they are like fumbling idiots. I don’t know where. No hard feelings if this sparks no ideas lol 😂💖💖💖

Oh Kay - this wonderful prompt you gifted me could have gone in so many different directions. And it most definitely inspired me to write something...

But it's neither a clever take on your words or a twisted storyline, therefore I have no apologies and I went the obvious route when filling your idea 😂 (why does my brain always try and get these boys naked?)

So this turned into something a little longer (of course), a little more ridiculous than anticipated, and features some very well intentioned Avengers and two idiots helplessly inept in love...

The fic made it to almost 5.5k and is also on ao3 here (with all tags necessary) if you prefer to read there instead, it'll be part of my stucky bingo fills - 'Sex Magic' and rated E for explicit sexual content 😉 so proceed below with caution...

Oh it's also the first time I've ever tried established relationship... hopefully I've pulled it off!

Steve was happy.

He finally had a home to call his own, a brilliant team of coworkers, a place in the future and he had Bucky Barnes. After more years than Steve could count, Bucky and he had finally found themselves on the same page - different century, but on even ground. They’d kissed in the heat of the moment after a brutal mission, stated their affections clearly and decided after a breathless confession - to give forever a go.

Having been on the battlefield together for years, Bucky at his six and always there for Steve when he needed, and Steve, having had Bucky’s back no matter the situation (or trouble it got him into) - meant they had a solid base to grow from. And as soon as Sam took over the mantle of Cap, Steve was free to be himself for once, and although Nomad made appearances on the odd occasion, he and Bucky still fought flawlessly together, seamlessly, almost at one in their movements.

It was magical.

But not only were they in sync when under pressure and danger, that same energy continued into their modest but homely kitchen in their brownstone as they unlearned that boiling was the only way to prepare food. They wove around each other, hot pans and knives flashing in a dance as intricate as fighting while they spun about the kitchen, preparing dish after dish, including sweet treats for themselves and cat treats for Alpine.

Bucky and Steve were essentially one unit, an extension of the other in every aspect of their lives - except one…

They’d shared their first kiss, a declaration of intent less than a month earlier on the battlefield in the midst of chaos, and Steve had never felt sweeter lips against his. But it wasn't just the kiss that floored him, it was the all-consuming knowledge that Bucky was his, would always be his, that they were made for each other - that's what made it a perfect moment.

Afterwards, when they'd arrived home tired from the week-long operation, 'congratulations' and 'about times' ringing in their ears, they sat on the sofa staring at the other until Steve leant in, cupping Bucky’s cheek and slowly pressed forward. Bucky having the same idea, lurched up and they smacked heads hard enough to see stars. Chuckling with small smiles, they tried again, with Steve accidentally biting Bucky's tongue, and the third was a kiss so awkward and sloppy, it made Steve feel like a thirteen year old practising on the back of his hand again.

Steve wasn’t sure how he'd got it so wrong.

Bucky had laughed it off at the time, asking Steve if he wanted to watch TV, and with nothing left to do, he agreed. For two overly large war-torn men, they fit wonderfully; wrapping limbs around the other, holding tight like they'd never let go again. It was soothing, comfortable - right. And as Steve pressed soft lips to the crown of Bucky's hair while a documentary played in the background, he wondered why their attempt at kissing when alone, without an audience hadn’t worked.

Steve could only put it down to nerves.

Bucky was his best friend after all, he was the only one who remembered and knew Steve, knew everything about him in fact, there were no secrets - except for the almost one hundred year pining between them. The awkwardness had to be because of a change in dynamics, they were now more, they wanted more, and were so nervous and scared to adapt to something new, it had become an issue of self-confidence.

It would get better.

It had to.

The next morning when Bucky left for a briefing, he placed a kiss on the corner of Steve’s mouth, and when Steve jerked his head to the side to capture Bucky's lips, he somehow managed to press his teeth into the soft pink flesh, tasting blood. Bucky pulled back with a huff of laughter and licked his lips to capture the red stain before leaving with a wink and a goodbye. Steve flushed red, the heat on his cheeks burning enough that he jumped up and organised an impromptu run with Sam to escape the memory. The whole time Steve lamented to a cackling Sam, that he'd somehow forgotten how to kiss.

Sam was a dick.

It had officially been three weeks, three full weeks of 'dating' and even though their actual dates were wonderful, full of laughter and fun and exploration, it was when they crawled into bed next to the other that suddenly every kiss, every touch was fraught with danger and peril. And maybe it was because they were both supersoldiers, both familiar and unfamiliar with some of their strengths, they'd overlooked they were still prone to the usual calamities that befell non-serumed folk, they just bounced back quicker.

So when Bucky ground down hard enough it bent Steve's dick practically in two - well, it wasn't pleasant, and took over an hour for the tears to stop streaming, all while he yelled to a panicked Bucky there was no way he was calling Dr Cho over it and that it would heal.

It healed, but Steve winced each time he went to the bathroom for the following two days.

The love bite Steve sucked into Bucky's upper thigh on the way to taste his gorgeous dick for the first time, erupted into a blood blister almost immediately and Bucky instinctually jerked away, kneeing Steve in the temple.

He only saw stars for two minutes, but the mood died in a flurry of apologies while the mark on Bucky's skin disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

By Steve's count, they'd tried a total of ten times to initiate sex, to make each other feel good, and every single time something had happened to thwart their attempts.

Steve wondered if the universe was trying to tell them they were not supposed to get physical. That they were destined to be best friends without any benefits.

But Steve wouldn't give up without a fight.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“You can stop laughing now,” Steve said with a sigh, taking a sip of his espresso while trying to ignore the spluttering of his other best friend.

“Oh I know, but I can’t. You kicked Bucky in the hip so hard it somehow threw his body out of alignment and he was walking with a limp for two days. And not the type of limp you want.” Sam was practically heaving in mirth by that stage.

“Why did I come to you for advice? I'm leaving.”

"No, no don't. I'm glad you came to me. But Barnes? I understand your reaction because I'd kick him so he couldn’t walk for days too - but obviously under different circumstances,” Sam added when Steve scowled at his words.

"I don't get it though," Steve complained with an exaggerated shrug. "We sync so well everywhere else. Christ, we even snuggle in such a natural way, that neither of us have had a real nightmare in a month. We are more than ready for the next step. Sam, you have no idea how much we want to take it - but the minute we try to get… intimate - it falls flat."

Sam took a long sip of his iced coffee, thick cream bobbing over the surface as he tilted the glass up. Steve winced at how sweet it had to taste, but he said nothing, remained quiet, knowing that Sam would have some advice at least.

"Maybe it's the way you say intimate? I'm joking, jeez Steve, don't give me your disappointed face. Look, I think you should set the mood, you know - music, candlelight, silk sheets and no distractions. Maybe some aromatic oils too, do the whole, 'I think you're sexy and I want you' gesture - make it obvious you find him desirable.”

“Aromatic oils?”

Sam smirked and waggled his eyebrows, “for a special massage of course.”

Steve flushed at the thought of having Bucky’s naked skin and hardened muscles under his hands, sliding and slipping as he loosened him up, ready to make Bucky fall apart, make him languid and hazy with want. Sam coughed and Steve realised he was letting his imagination run too wild, especially in front of company.

“You know what? I think I chose wisely for my replacement.” Steve grinned as Sam ducked his head, a pleased look gracing his features. “Thanks, Sam. I’m sure it’s a timing thing, we just need to make it sexy.”

Sam clapped his back, and with a wide toothy grin and a wink, said in a low deep voice, “you’re an overachiever Steve - you’ve got this.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve in fact, did not have it.

Maybe his first mistake was to massage Bucky on the sofa, not in their bed. He used too much oil and when Steve raised himself up, eager to flip Bucky over and finally take his hard dick in hand, the vinyl fabric in conjunction with Bucky’s skin was soaked and slippery. Steve found himself sliding and flailing uncontrollably, right off the sofa to smack his face into the coffee table, the mood disappearing in a peal of Bucky’s laughter. Steve couldn't even blame him, it would have looked a sight.

After a long hot shower where Steve contemplated his choice in friends and their terrible advice, Bucky and he sat on a freshly cleaned sofa and watched Animal Planet while eating Thai. They ended up cuddling under Bucky's weighted blanket, falling asleep entwined, and just before Steve blacked out, he wondered if maybe Sam wasn’t the right choice for Cap after all. His plan stunk.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“You do know I’m not that kind of Doctor, right?” Bruce reiterated for the third time, and Steve shrugged in response.

“I know. But at this stage it’s worth a shot. So Doc, any advice for me?”

Bruce sat back on the lone stool in his lab, hand cupping his chin as he thought. At least Bruce appeared to be more contemplative than Sam had been. “Have you tried to romance him? Take Bucky out for a nice dinner, partake in some Asgardian wine to loosen things up, before dancing, showing him that you're a gentleman - prove to Bucky how special he is to you. In my limited experience, the rest will flow from there with no problems.”

Steve nodded along as Bruce spoke, holding Bucky against his body as they danced across the floor wouldn’t be too different from fighting together, and they were in perfect harmony while out in the field. Bruce’s idea made perfect sense to Steve, had more of a familiar feel from Bucky and his early life, before the war than what Sam’s had. Sam's suggestion centered on the physical between Steve and Bucky, whereas Bruce was suggesting something subtle, emotional.

“You know what Bruce? Thank you, I think it might just work.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

It did not work.

Halfway through their fifth dance as their bodies started to meld together, barely moving on the dancefloor, holding each other's gaze as they whispered words of desire to each, Steve leant forward, their lips barely touching. And as Steve took in a breath, feeling Bucky’s returning exhale on his lips, the back wall blew out in an explosion, Bucky headbutting Steve in surprise, and suddenly they had Hydra operatives swarming them. Steve, as he took out three hostiles with his shield, wondered if he should talk to Dr Cho about the effects of concussion and if he could suffer them, due to his head seemingly taking the brunt of recent mishaps.

Bucky and Steve fell into tandem together, their natural ability to fight kicking in, keeping the other safe. It was much more natural than dancing and Steve sighed, knowing romantic nights out might not be the right course of action for them.

It took three days of intense fighting to take down the Hydra faction, and afterwards they were both too tired to speak more than a sentence, and fell into a deep sleep curled around the other immediately.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve ignored Tony's unsolicited advice to take Bucky to a ski chalet and teach him how to toboggan, knowing freezing conditions and a small metal tube wouldn't be the best way to loosen them both up to get frisky. Plus Steve was still trying to work out how Tony even knew Steve had asked other people for advice about sex? Maybe JARVIS was spying again, though the AI had promised Steve he wouldn't.

But what was worse, was Peter Parker, at barely even twenty years of age coming to Steve, red faced and stammering, saying that he thought Steve should take Bucky to laser tag and the arcade to have some old fashioned fun.

Steve at that point was at his wits end, so he tried Peter's plan. When Steve was confronted with all the bright, colourful and confusing machines, he almost gave up. Actual 'old-fashioned' and Peter's idea of it, were poles apart. Though, Steve found he was really good at Tetris and Bucky excelled at zombie shooting games. But it was when playing laser tag it all fell over, Bucky and Steve getting too competitive, and a tad physical, which ended up with them being kicked out and banned, after having to apologise to a bunch of wide-eyed yet excited fifteen year olds.

Bucky's exclamations that there wasn't that much blood, fell on the deaf ears of the twenty year old manager who reprimanded them, saying that at their age they should know better.

It did not induce a night of passion afterwards. Although, Bucky purchased a console online and a bunch of zombie games that evening, including a bundle that included Tetris, so it wasn't a complete bust.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“So basically what you’re saying is that nothing has worked? You’ve been tiptoeing around each other for what? Almost two months now?” At Steve’s nod, Nat grinned, crouching down and did a handspring, legs wrapping around his neck, pulling him to the floor. “The way you are with each other, I honestly would have guessed you’d been screwing for years. If I didn't know you better.”

“That’s not helpful. I’m serious. We have a real issue.” Steve looked up from his twisted position directly into her green eyes and sighed, she loosened her legs and Steve ran a hand over his face and stayed on the ground. “What if we’re just not meant to be?”

Nat’s expression softened as much as it ever did, meaning her left eyebrow turned down for less than a second before reasserting itself into a perfectly sardonic position.

“Okay, my advice for what it’s worth, and just note that I’m extremely offended that you didn’t come to me first, I mean Sam - come on. But let it happen naturally, organically. Just like it took you a hundred years to own up to your feelings, wait until it feels right to have sex.”

Steve groaned, and stood up, “I’m not waiting another hundred years, Nat.”

“Jesus, Rogers. Fine. Go see Wanda then.”

“Wanda?”

“Use that big brain of yours, not the small one. She’s a witch, I’m sure she can help you out.”

Steve knew the surprise on his face wasn’t feigned. He’d not actually thought Wanda could do spells or the like, but the more he thought about Nat’s words, the more it appealed. Could some magical interference help them?

“Thanks, Nat - I’ll definitely think about it.”

In the space of him finishing his words and a smile forming - Steve was on his back again, Nat’s thighs wrapped around his neck as she squeezed with intent.

“You’ll see that I was right.”

~*~*~*~*~

That night when Steve tried to let things happen naturally, organically as Nat had suggested, Steve slid a hand up Bucky’s side, light as a feather, only for Bucky to squirm in laughter and throw his head backwards, smashing into Steve’s poor battered nose - which broke. It healed within seconds, but blood spurted out in a gush, coating the back of Bucky’s hair and neck. It took an hour to clean up.

~*~*~*~*~

He went and saw Wanda the next day.

~*~*~*~*~

“Well, I’m one lucky girl, first a visit and latte from James this morning and now you this afternoon with a pastry.” Wanda took a bite of the flaky dessert, one Steve knew was her favourite. “Alright Steve what can I do for you today?”

Steve’s immediate reaction was to ask why Bucky had been there, but knew that the two of them had a strong connection, Wanda helping Bucky through some of the residual trauma with her powers, and then their fast bond over Alpine - Bucky’s terror of a stray cat that took up residence in their apartment. Or took over would be more apt.

“I… err, I need your help with something... delicate.”

Wanda gave Steve the smallest smile, a knowing look in her eyes and Steve lost his train of thought for a moment, not sure he really needed another Avenger to know about his intimacy issue with Bucky. He almost chickened out, but Wanda leaned forward and grasped his forearm.

“It’s okay, Steve - you can tell me, ask me anything.”

Sighing heavily, Steve steeled himself, he was out of options.

“Alright -” Steve laid out plainly what had been happening, the awkwardness, the injuries, the sheer unluckiness they’d suffered each time they’d attempted to move their relationship forwards physically.

“And you came to me for...?”

“Help, I guess,” Steve said and looked at Wanda pleadingly, “Can you? I mean, with a potion or a spell or something of the like?”

Wanda slumped back in her chair, mouth opening to speak, but nothing came out, she remained silent. After a minute, she swallowed audibly then looked up at the roof, and if Steve didn’t know better, he would have thought she was rolling her eyes at him. Yet he knew that wouldn’t be the case, Wanda was polite to him, always had been, they were a team. Friends. Only Nat would take those liberties with him.

“Alright,” Wanda finally spoke and stood up, walking over to her kitchen cupboards, pulling out jars and bottles holding different liquids. And before Steve knew it, he was holding a small glass vial filled with a substance that smelt like vodka, but had rosemary and a slice of orange and a few other items bobbing around inside.

“What’s this?”

“Well you asked for a potion, didn’t you?”

“Really? I actually didn’t think you’d -”

“- Do you want the sex magic or not?”

Steve grasped the tiny bottle in his hand, careful not to crush it in his huge meaty hands.

“I do,” he said quickly and stood, pulling her into a warm hug, which she returned readily.

“Just take half an hour before you want to… well, you know.”

“Thanks, Wanda, you were my last hope.”

And as he walked out the room, Wanda called out after him, “you’ll be fine Steve. I know this will work for you.”

~*~*~*~*~

It worked.

Bucky was on his knees, mouth wrapped around Steve’s thick dick, swallowing and licking like his life depended on it. And Steve, well, he couldn’t articulate, could only stare down into those familiar grey-blue eyes that gazed at Steve like he was a conquering god, stare at the way saliva dripped down Bucky’s chin as he drew in as much of Steve’s hardness as possible, Bucky’s plush lips stretched taut until they’d lost most of their colour.

It was the most glorious sight of Steve’s entire life.

He didn’t want to think about Wanda in that moment, but he was eternally grateful to her. Bucky had disappeared into the bathroom about half an hour earlier - leaving enough time for Steve to drink the potion in one go, and before he knew it, almost half an hour to the dot, they launched at the other. For once there were no injuries, awkwardness, or pain - just hungry kisses, curious hands and moaning. A lot of moaning and grinding.

Then Bucky dropped to his knees, yanking impatiently at Steve’s pants until they all but ripped off, and sucked him down in the same breath.

Throwing his head back, Steve looked to the ceiling, fingers tangled in Bucky’s hair as Bucky hummed and gasped around his dick, sucking loudly, slurping and choking at times. But Steve couldn’t keep his eyes away for long. Bucky was too compelling, too perfect.

“God, you have no idea how you look right now do you, on your knees, mouth full of me?” Steve husked and involuntarily pumped his hips a few times. Bucky’s eyelids fluttered shut as he listened to Steve’s words, not complaining about the added pressure. “Born to take me, weren't you, Doll?”

Bucky practically squirmed on the spot, moaning and whimpering and Steve realised through the haze and bliss of what Bucky’s clever tongue was doing to him, that Bucky clearly had a thing for pet names.

“Do you want this large dick inside of you sweetheart? Do you want to sit on it? Take it deep into your body, let you take control and ride me until you come?” Steve should have been taken aback by his words, about where his filthy mind was taking them. But he was running his mouth, not thinking, letting what felt good flow off his tongue. And Bucky - he loved it.

Popping his mouth off the end of Steve’s dick, tongue immediately lathing up and down the shaft so as to always have a point of contact, he moaned loudly, wantonly. “God yes, Stevie - want you to fill me up, stretch me, want to feel you for days after, I want you to own me…”

Steve growled possessively, his fingers tightening in Bucky’s hair, pulling back so Bucky was jerked away from his dick, Bucky whining at the loss. Oh christ - that jar of sex magic needed to be marketed - it was phenominal. Steve had never felt so in control of a situation, so ready for anything, not scared, just willing to make Bucky feel good. “I want that too, baby, want everyone to know you’re mine.”

Yanking Bucky upwards, Steve devoured his mouth in a kiss, completely surprised that the potion had worked so well. Not only were they finally on the same page, they were doing it with no shame, telling each other exactly what they wanted and when, pleasuring with sensations and not overthinking, and the teasing - it was natural, it felt right. And Steve knew he was forever in Wanda's debt for the gift of her magic.

“I want to watch you prepare yourself, gorgeous. Want to see your fingers sliding in and out of your tight hole - a hole I’m going to own from tonight onwards.”

“Jesus, Steve, you’re killin’ me here.”

“Not quite yet, I’m not. Give me an hour and we’ll circle back to that.”

“Don’t speak to me like a rookie learning the ropes.” Bucky grumbled.

Steve smiled, “But aren't you?”

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

Steve swallowed the rest of his retort when Bucky stripped naked to crawl up on their bed, spinning around to lay amongst the pillows, spreading his legs wide like he couldn’t wait to be railed. And Steve was unable to tear his gaze away from Bucky’s hole, his gorgeous and perfect entrance, one that would be puffy and leaking before the night was out - the superficial damage caused by Steve and no one else. A tight sensation welled in Steve’s gut, lurching when Bucky grabbed the lube, pouring liberally before starting to finger himself.

That was the point where Steve knew he'd made a grave mistake.

He wasn’t going to be able to watch Bucky open himself up, Steve was too wound up, too impatient and also too much of a control freak. He needed to ensure Bucky did a good enough job, knowing his girth alone was more than most people were used to. So when Bucky was two fingers in, sweat beading, eyes never leaving Steve’s face, Steve jerked forward and climbed up on the bed, positioning himself between Bucky’s legs. He lubed up his fingers to test the tightness himself, Bucky’s eyes opening in shock at the probing.

“Steve…” he stammered, “What are you doing?”

“Helping.”

Bucky sighed out a breath, relaxing into the intrusion as Steve pressed a finger in next to Bucky’s, and Steve shut his eyes, groaning; Bucky was so tight and hot, perfectly wrapped around Steve’s finger. Steve knew he was going to lose himself in Bucky’s body, was going to transcend, never be the same again and he couldn’t wait.

Steve ensured Bucky was a writhing panting mess before he even contemplated sliding into his tight heat. No matter how much Bucky asked for it, no matter the pleading, the begging (of which Bucky did so prettily, especially with the beginnings of frustrated tears in his eyes), Steve wanted their first time to be free of pain and injury, and by god was he going to deliver.

When he deemed Bucky ready, who pouted back to declare he was, hours ago, it only confirmed a surly Bucky was absolutely gorgeous to Steve, and Steve pulled him down the bed, spreading Bucky’s legs wide. Bucky sank back, allowing himself to be positioned, holding Steve’s gaze hotly as Steve pressed the tip of his dick against the loosened muscle of Bucky’s ass.

The first testing push felt like Steve was going to split Bucky in two - there was no way he would fit. But Bucky grabbed Steve violently by the back of the head, holding him tight in his superhuman strength.

“Don’t you fucking dare stop - not now.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” Steve said placating, “just don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t.” Bucky replied adamantly, and Steve still wasn’t sure until Bucky husked out, “Trust me.”

And Steve did. He trusted Bucky more than anyone else in the world, the universe, and so he continued to press past the tight muscle and...

Oh.

Oh fuck.

He wasn’t expecting Bucky to feel so good, so tight, so perfect. Steve kept pushing, further and further, almost endlessly until he had to pull out an inch to gain more leverage, and the whole time he did this, the whole time he tested and pressed forward again, Steve watched Bucky’s face, looking for signs of discomfort. He saw none.

Bucky was slack-jawed as he stared into Steve’s eyes in a completely blissful state, and pride welled up inside of Steve, he was making Bucky look like that, giving Bucky what he wanted, desired. Steve and no one else.

It was both heady and compelling.

When Steve could push no further and was fully seated within Bucky’s body, he took a breath, then another, and although his instinct was telling him to thrust, take, pound, he didn’t. He’d promised Bucky something.

Grabbing Bucky’s waist, he spun them quickly; Bucky yelping suddenly at the change in position, and looking a little dazed, he ended up straddling Steve, thighs stretched taut over Steve’s large frame.

“Ride me baby.” Steve said simply, and Bucky melted, falling forward to kiss Steve’s lips passionately. Steve held Bucky close as a tongue snaked into his mouth, lips frantic and hot on his, so Steve jerked up into Bucky’s body, reminding Bucky of what he was supposed to be doing, earning him a gasp directly into his mouth.

Sitting up, Bucky pressed his hands against Steve’s stomach for leverage, and tested his breadth of movement, wiggling side to side before he started to move in earnest. Soon Bucky was bouncing on Steve, pulling up and slamming down, taking the pleasure he wanted for himself, and Steve, he lay back and watched the love of his life take every inch he could, and adored it.

After a while, sweat started to pour down Bucky’s temples, his eyes squeezed shut tightly in concentration as he speared himself again and again on Steve’s hardness, wringing pleasure out of every pore, and Steve knew Bucky was close - could tell by the shortening breaths. Licking his palm, Steve reached forward to grip Bucky’s gorgeously rigid dick as it bobbed freely before him, mesmerizing in its movements.

Bucky snapped his eyes open, capturing Steve in his intense gaze, a pleading spark in them, and what Bucky was asking for, Steve wasn’t sure - so he grasped harder and began to stroke. He was methodical, brutal, unrelatening and soon Bucky was clenching around him as come erupted from his dick, coating Steve’s stomach in sticky stripes, and Steve was desperate to taste. So he did.

Trailing a finger through the mess while Bucky caught his breath, Steve relished Bucky holding him deep within his body, clenching and twitching around him as Steve slid one wet and come soaked finger between his lips, moaning at the unique and tangy taste. It was pure Bucky. His essence, and Steve was addicted already.

“Oh Buck, I’m going to suck you so good one day. You’re the sweetest thing, aren’t you?”

Bucky nodded his head in return, sated and hazy, his breathing returning to some semblance of control, and with a refractory period only superserum enhanced soldiers experienced, Bucky’s dick started to fill again, not quickly, but enough Steve knew from experience that the sensitivity would have abated enough to touch - to continue.

“My turn,” Steve growled, spinning them back over, crushing Bucky into the bed under his weight.

Steve didn’t wait for a response, just immediately pounded hard into Bucky’s limp, open and languid body. And at odds with the rest of his self, Bucky’s dick hardened against Steve’s stomach with every stroke, but Steve had become lost in the sensations, in how good it felt to be encased in Bucky’s heat, his warmth, of finally being closer than ever before for the first time and he couldn’t think straight.

Grabbing Bucky’s chin in one hand, Steve pressed their mouths together, panting into Bucky’s as he whispered words of love tempered with a stream of filth that had Bucky’s eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Thrusting harder again and putting all his strength behind it, able to without hurting Bucky, Steve went into a frenzy as Bucky writhed and moaned underneath him, nonsense words falling from his throat. Steve held on as long as he could, but it was too much, had taken too long to finally be inside of Bucky, and with a litany of ‘oh god’s’ Steve came deep inside of his lover, his friend, his forever and basked in the moment, knowing it was all thanks to a little potion bottle.

As he caught his breath, inhaling Bucky’s scent, smiling down and kissing his lips reverently, Bucky looked up at him grey-blue eyes full of wonder and happiness.

Their smiles couldn’t be any larger.

Maybe magic wasn’t so bad after all.

~*~*~*~*~

“Judging by the way they couldn’t keep their hands off each other this morning at the team breakfast, I assume you gave Steve and Bucky some help and advice?” Nat asked Wanda as they sat in a wine bar downtown that night on their weekly catch up.

Wanda smirked, holding her glass up in a cheers to Nat. “Yep, Bucky came to me yesterday morning and Steve in the afternoon. Both seeking the exact same help.”

“And did your ‘sex magic’ work?”

“Of course it did - I used my best Vodka.” Wanda affronted that Nat would even question her, knowing the redhead was really teasing.

“What about the spell you used?”

“Well, I wriggled my nose for theatrics, added a sprig of dried rosemary that was stuck to the back of my fridge, and made my hand glow for a second. Some of my finest acting work I think.”

“Those boys just needed some inner confidence - I knew it would work.”

“Of course you did.”

“Damn straight. Tequila shots here please!”’ Nat yelled to the barman who looked way too eager to assist, even though the bar was packed. Nat left a hefty tip when their drinks landed before them less than a minute later, and picking up the glasses she handed one to Wanda. Wanda knew she was going to regret their night the next day.

Clinking their glasses, Nat declared, “to sex magic and dumb idiots in love.”

“And to us for being excellent enablers and smarter than the lot of them.”

“I couldn't agree more.”

Wanda woke up the next morning wishing she could infuse potions, if she was able to, then her headache might not be so epic. She hid under the covers for the rest of the day.

Romanoff was a bad influence.

#stucky #mywriting #established relationship #mishaps and injuries #attempting to have sex #multiple times #they sync everywhere except when trying to get sexy #well meaning Avengers #bad advice #clumsy Steve and Bucky #idiots in love #prompt fill #Kay this was fun to write ❤️ thank you for the idea!!#Wanda has magic.... doesn't she??#canon divergence #kalee answers

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writethelifeyouwant · 3 years

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Femme Fatale - Ch 1 / 2

Pairing: Alex x Reader (background J2) Rating: 18+ Tags: Dom/Sub relationships, Sub!Alex, Domme!Reader, Dom!Jensen, Sub!Jared, sex/bdsm club, voyeurism, exhibitionism, pegging, humiliation kink Word Count: 3.3k Created for: @spnkinkbingo - Dom/Sub

A/N: Thank you so much for being my first ever commission Sin! I've had a lot of fun tackling this challenge because I've never written a Domme!reader before but I really appreciate you trusting me with your idea, and I hope I do it justice ❤️

Series Masterlist

This is a weird idea, even for Alex. A night out with his cast mates isn’t unusual, and Y/N has gone along on plenty of group dinners with Alex, Jared and Jensen (that were essentially double dates) before, but they usually ended by closing out the hotel bar or crashing in someone’s guest room. They had never ended up at a proper club before, let alone planned a whole evening around going to a specific one. But that’s the plan tonight.

When Alex informs her that the location was Misha’s suggestion, it makes even less sense to Y/N. Misha seems like he would be the least likely of all of them to actually enjoy clubbing but hey, what does she know?

“Alex, I don’t have anything to wear!” Y/N complains from inside their closet, hoping her boyfriend can hear her through the bathroom door.

“That cannot be true,” she can hear the amusement coupled with a light mix of exasperation in his tone.

“What did they tell you the dress code was?” Y/N calls as she continues to flip through the clothes hanging in front of her.

“Misha said, and I quote, ‘dress slutty’.” Alex appears in the doorway to the closet and leans against the frame, tucking his arms across his chest. Y/N actually does a double take when she sees him.

“I see you took that advice literally,” she eyes him, gaze dragging across his body and catching against each new feature she notices like sandpaper running against the grain. Alex is dressed casually, but most definitely sluttily too. A loose and frayed wife beater hangs off his shoulders, showing off his waist where one side is tucked into his shorts. The elastic of his boxers is sticking out over the shirt too, which is completely on purpose in a move to tease. The denim shorts are tight, torn-up, and just to the knee. Y/N has seen him wear them before, and she knows when he turns around she’ll have an amazing view of his ass.

“I’m good at following instructions,” Alex smiles, clearly pleased with himself that he’d successfully fulfilled his remit.

“So eager to please,” Y/N teases over her shoulder as she goes back to thumbing through outfit potentials. “Honestly, the fact that Misha is telling us to dress slutty and not Jared must mean dress really slutty.”

“You could just not wear anything,” Alex offers as a suggestion. “Nothing sluttier than free access.”

“In your dreams, babe.”

“How did you know?” Alex is mock horrified and you laugh along with him when he breaks character. “Still can’t decide?” and Y/N shakes her head in response. “Can I pick for you? I do have a pretty good memory of all your sluttiest outfits.”

“Hey! Who you callin’ a slut Mr. Slutty McTightShorts?” Y/N rounds on Alex, comically enraged.

“You, duh,” Alex laughs and pecks her on the cheek as he moves over to a drawer where Y/N keeps her underwear.

Alex goes straight for the lingerie, Y/N should have guessed, and he pulls out a matching set of lacy thong and longline bra, both enmeshed in patterns of criss-crossed elastic and ribbons. Then he ducks down to the bottom drawer where Y/N keeps a load of her old college clothes that she’s too sentimental to get rid of, and rummages through it, clearly looking for something specific. He finally liberates a skirt that barely has the right to be called a piece of clothing. Y/N can’t even remember why she owns that. Finally he reaches for a swingy tank made of a light gauzy material. It’s really meant to be a cover-up for the beach because of how loose and flowy it is but Y/N imagines that is Alex’s intention behind picking it – he knows it won’t stay on properly or do a single thing to hide the bra she’ll be wearing beneath it. Alex hands her the pile of clothes, again looking very pleased with himself.

“You’re really not pulling punches tonight, are ya?”

“I just want to show off how awesome my girlfriend is,” Alex shrugs.

“Yeah, you want to show off all of her, apparently,” Y/N holds up the small skirt skeptically.

“You’ll look incredible, scouts’ honour,” Alex swears, grinning.

“If we show up and the others aren’t dressed super slutty, I’m gonna maim things.”

“I won’t stop you,” Alex laughs and pushes Y/N out of the closet. “C’mon get dressed so we can go down some alcohol before the car gets here.”

They’ve both knocked back a beer and a shot when the car pulls up and a message pops into the group chat saying they’re here. The night is close and warm outside of the air conditioning, and for that reason at least Y/N is glad to be wearing such a small amount of clothing. When the young couple slides into the car they’re greeted by Jared, Jensen, Misha, and his wife Vicki – another surprise to Y/N, as she doesn’t come out with them too often. Something about tonight must be special.

“Hey hot stuff!” Jared greets them, grinning as he eyes them both up and down. Jensen pinches him on the leg. “Behave.” Jared doesn’t let it derail his examination.

“Thanks, I know, right?” Alex jokes and ruffles his hair, throwing Jared a wink. Y/N gives him a side eye, silently imitating Jensen’s instruction of behave. Alex grabs for her hand and kisses it in a gesture of reassurance, dropping their joined hands to his lap and keeping them there. Alex is a flirt, just like Jared, but Y/N knows that he would never stray from her. At least, not unless she tells him to.

The car proceeds to drive them across town to an area of L.A. Y/N isn’t familiar with. She and Alex haven’t lived in the city very long, so it’s not like she’s expecting to know every inch of its nightlife scene but this place seems much more out of the way than she was expecting them to be going. The streets they’re trundling down are dark, not bright and shining with neon and glittering lights like so much of downtown tends to be. The occasional person or couple is walking along the sidewalk, but overall it’s deserted by city standards.

“Where are we going again?” Y/N pipes up from her seat, looking out the window and spotting another couple in dark coats holding hands as they amble down the side street.

“We’re almost there,” Vicki smiles reassuringly at Y/N, then turns to Jensen. “Tom texted to let me know he’s set aside a table upstairs for us, so everyone can just watch or they can join in, whatever you want.”

“Who’s Tom?” Y/N asks curiously, she hasn’t heard the name before.

“He’s our boyfriend,” Misha answers matter of factly, like he’s trying not to betray any emotion around the statement until he can judge Y/N and Alex’s reactions to that news. Y/N can’t pretend she isn’t surprised, but the more she thinks about it the more she realises that Misha is always quite private about his and Vicki’s relationship – this must be why.

“Oh, cool dude,” Alex laughs, giving an approving nod, almost like he’s impressed with Misha’s nonconformity. Y/N smiles. Alex always loves finding out about what people have going on ‘outside the box’, it helps him come out of his own shell just a little bit more every time.

“Can’t wait to meet him,” Y/N chimes in, just to quiet the small hint of wariness she can see playing behind Misha’s eyes. He relaxes visibly and smiles, much more his carefree and goofy self in that instant.

“Oh, s’that it?” Jared points out the window to a dim neon sign and a small group of people sitting on benches and little round tables, smoking. The block letters shine against the rough brickwork of the building they’re mounted on, grey and sophisticated, unlike all the garish colours Y/N would usually expect from a nightclub.

Femme Fatale.

Y/N hadn’t known what to expect when they got inside but she never would have expected what she’s witnessing now. Femme Fatale is a swingers club. Not just that, it’s a BDSM swingers club.

How had they known? Y/N wonders. She and Alex don’t usually make a habit of discussing that aspect of their relationship with other people. Especially since Alex is still pretty new to being a Sub. He had toyed with the idea of being a Dom in a previous relationship, and technically he labels himself as a Switch when people ask, but he once he had told Y/N that since he met her she brings out a part of himself he hadn’t really connected with properly before, and he loves it.

His eyes are wide now, blown out with obvious lust as Y/N watches him watch his surroundings. Jared is the same, and Jensen is watching him just as intently as Y/N is watching Alex. With how they act, Y/N always suspected that Jensen and Jared were in a Dom/Sub relationship, and she was quietly smug that she had been right. Misha and Vicki had left the party at their table on the exposed balcony as soon as their boyfriend Tom, who Y/N now understands is the manager of this club, had shown them in and sat them down. Now, Y/N knows what Vicki had meant in the car about them just being able to watch if that’s what they wanted to do, instead of joining in. Misha and Vicki have clearly opted to join in, and Y/N can’t see where they went off to, lost in the heaving crowd of people below them.

So far, she’s enjoying watching, and Alex clearly is too. His slutty shorts are doing nothing to hide the semi he’d popped almost the second they walked in. It isn’t so much her thing, but Y/N knows Alex has an exhibitionist streak, and she can easily imagine what must be running through his mind right now. Being out in the middle of everything, shown off, performing. And Y/N thinks she might like showing him off, showing everyone what a good little boy he can be for his Mistress, showing everyone how much control she has over him. How much he wants to do everything she asks of him, to please her.

“Jared,” Y/N looks away from Alex when Jensen speaks, and Alex looks up from the ground floor where he had been watching some of the people on display. “Do you want to go play?” Jensen asks neutrally, very carefully leaving the choice up to Jared, without betraying his own feelings on the notion.

“Can we?” Jared’s eyes light up instantly and Y/N smirks to herself. Jared and Alex are more alike than she realised.

“Yeah, c’mon baby boy,” Jensen smiles indulgently and holds out his hand to Jared, who takes it and follows him down the stairs to the play areas. Y/N looks back to Alex, whose eyes are glued to his cast mates’ backs.

“What about you, baby boy?” Y/N purrs, using Jared’s nickname teasingly and Alex blushes as she runs her nails up his bare arm. She’d never called him that before but it’s clear he likes it. “Do you want to go play?”

“I–” Alex breaks off, considering. “Can we just watch for a bit? See what everyone’s doing?” he asks nervously.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Y/N smiles and offers Alex her hand. They make their way down the iron grate staircase into the madness that has been churning below them this whole time. It’s easy to spot Jared and Jensen, despite the crowd. They stick out above the heads of a lot of the people nearby because most of them are bent over or crouched down to some extent.

They’re at the edge of the dance floor, in a space that’s still public but is cordoned off for more… intimate play. There’s two St. Andrew’s crosses bolted on the wall, both currently occupied with girls – one wearing an assortment of leather straps with metal studs poking out of them, and one wearing absolutely nothing but the cuffs binding her to the beams. Leather couches and benches are dotted around the floorspace, all covered with partially to wholly naked occupants engaging in every variety of sexual activity Y/N can imagine. Alex looks like a kid in a candy store watching it all unfold before him.

“You can watch whoever you want, but no touching without my permission, okay?” Y/N speaks into Alex’s ear so he can hear her over the bass of the music that’s vibrating through the crowd around them.

“Yes, ma’am,” Alex salutes her cheekily and starts to move away but she grabs the neck of his shirt and hauls him back, looking him sternly in the eye.

“Do you want to try that again with a little respect, baby?” Alex drops his eyes and looks penitent.

“Yes, Mistress.” He gives her a weak smile, asking for forgiveness, and Y/N decides to let him off this time.

“Good boy,” she leans up and kisses his forehead before giving him a swift pat on the backside. “Have fun, I’m going to grab a drink,” Y/N points to one of the bars lining the far side of the play area. “Find me that way if you want me, okay baby?”

“Yes, Mistress,” Alex nods meekly, giving Y/N a small kiss before he ducks into the crowd towards a group of spectators all watching a girl tied to a bench getting teased by her Domme and a flogger. Typical, Y/N smiles to herself and makes her way to the bar to order a glass of wine.

Wine in hand, Y/N spins on her heel and looks around the room. Alex is still where she left him and a few groups over she spots Jensen, his back to her, watching something else she can’t quite make out between everyone’s bodies. Jared doesn’t appear to be anywhere though. Y/N decides to have a look at whatever Jensen’s observing, curious what’s got him so stoically still. There’s a lot going on around him but it becomes instantly clear which performer Jensen’s watching when Y/N approaches and peeks over his shoulder.

Jared is on his hands and knees, in amongst a crowd of people. There’s a sort of black leather platform that he’s perched on, so they’re elevated from the floor. It puts Jared’s mouth at the perfect height to reach people’s waists, which he’s currently putting to good use by swapping between two men with their cocks standing out stiff from their jeans. Jensen is watching closely, smirking at the crowd all raptly watching his boyfriend. When Jared takes the man with the bigger cock so deep that his nose is pressed to the man’s stomach, Y/N can’t help but laugh.

“I see why you like him so much,” Y/N bumps her shoulder against Jensen and he jumps, looking down at her and grinning when his brain catches up to her comment.

“Yeah he’s good with his mouth,” Jensen agrees, smiling proudly.

“Nice of you to loan him out.”

“I like to think I’m generous,” Jensen shrugs. “But not too generous,” Jensen catches the arm of a man trying to round the platform to get to Jared’s ass instead of his mouth. “Sorry man, no guys back there.”

“Oops, sorry dude,” the guy backs off quickly, and Y/N is impressed by how respectful the whole exchange is.

“Is that Jensen only territory?” Y/N questions, wiggling her brow.

“Yeah I don’t like other guys fuckin’ him,” Jensen explains. “But I like girls pegging him, it’s fun to humiliate him like that.” Just then Y/N spots a small woman climbing into a strap on with the help of her partner, who drops to her knees to suck on the dildo a little before covering it in lube from the bottle on the ground by the platform.

“No kidding,” Y/N whistles lowly, in awe as she watches the girl push the black silicone inside Jared, inch by inch. The way his hole is pulsing around the intrusion is almost hypnotic. She tries to picture what Alex would look like, on his hands and knees amongst all these people, everyone watching him get split open by some little girl with a big dick… everyone seeing him loving it, like Jared clearly is.

Y/N hears Jensen laugh beside her and she jumps a little, clearing her throat in embarrassment at being caught out staring at Jared’s asshole so blatantly.

“Sorry,” she clears her throat again and takes a sip of wine to hide behind her glass.

“It’s okay,” Jensen laughs again. “I wouldn’t let him do this if I didn’t want people to watch him.”

“Good point,” Y/N acknowledges, feeling a little better. “And um, out of curiosity,” Y/N pauses, trying to frame her question politely. “How did you get Jared to agree to the pegging?” Jensen raises an eyebrow at Y/N curiously. “You know, one Domme to another,” Y/N elaborates, so Jensen doesn’t think she’s trying to ask if she can peg Jared. That’s the furthest thing from her mind right now.

“No kidding?” Jensen chuckles, clearly impressed. “Well, I don’t know what you and Alex get up to normally, but it wasn’t too much of a stretch for Jared. He gets off on humiliation and I get off on humiliating him, and this fits that bill for both of us.” At that comment, Jensen looks back to Jared and smirks before reaching down to adjust himself subtly, and Y/N laughs. “What about it is calling to you?” Jensen asks, and Y/N has to pause to consider that before she can hit on the answer.

“It’s the one part of Alex I don’t think anyone’s touched. I mean he’s never mentioned it if he has done it before but I don’t think he has. The idea of marking him like that, of having something no one else can have from him…” Y/N trails off, letting her thoughts spiral as she feels the space between her legs heat up. When she adjusts her stance, she feels the slick brush of wet panties against her skin. Yes, she loves that idea. The thought of taking that last first, touching a part of Alex that no one else has touched. Being literally inside of him. Fucking him into submission would take on a whole new meaning.

“Yeah, that’s hot,” Jensen agrees and Y/N smiles dreamily. Now she just needs to figure out how to bring it up to Alex. “Hey,” Jensen taps her on the shoulder and points over Jared to the other side of the crowd, “you might not have to do as much convincing as you think.”

Standing across from them, Jared still on his hands and knees between them being fucked at both ends, is Alex. His eyes are fixed steadily on Jared, the rest of the world a mere blur around him and the object of his focus. His pupils are huge, in part due to the dark of the club but Y/N knows it’s also to do with desire. She watches his eyes dart back and forth and realises that he’s not just watching Jared, he’s watching the dildo that’s steadily fucking in and out of Jared’s ass, following its movements closely. He licks his lips and Y/N smiles. Jensen is right, she’s not going to have to convince him at all. He already wants this.

Part 2 - read ahead on WordPress here

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#spnkinkbingo #alex x reader #alex calvert #alex calvert x reader #sub!alex #domme!reader #dom!reader #smut #spn rpf #reader insert

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googledocsdyke · 3 years

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for communitynatural: i think it's interesting that while abed & cas are paralleled, as well as dean & troy, abed and dean speak in near constant references because that's how they relate to the world, while cas and troy just. say things. because they aren't scared of being emotional

ALRIGHT unfortunately this is gonna be long. i wanna deconstruct the cas/troy thing but i’m gonna put a pin in that for now because you’re right! but you’re also wrong! both abed and dean constantly mediate the world through pop culture, in a way that initially makes them seem really similar, but actually when you look at the respective ways their References and Homages work, it actually highlights how different their characters are, and how well they work as foils (different, complementary) rather than mirrors (similar, paralleled)

i think the key difference is that abed uses pop culture to make sense of the world, while dean uses it to make sense of himself. like abed has a very clear & coherent internal sense of who he is, and he's comfortable with it. he knows that who he is isn't someone the world always perceives as "acceptable" or "normal", so sometimes he uses pop culture to translate that person into something or someone “acceptable” readable by the world. but it never actually modifies his internal sense of who he is! key moment: in early season 1, where the study group is intent on making him over so that a girl will like him, and "teaching" him to be "normal". he goes along with it, and when the plan fails, they all express regret that they somehow damaged his self-esteem by forcing him to think that he needed to change for other people. and you know what he says?

"when you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal." like this is a line that is SO key to understanding abed's character, and makes him like truly one of the best characters on television (it would've been so easy for his internal conflict to come from him hating himself for being autistic(-coded), and they DON'T do that, and it's GREAT)

and like. can you IMAGINE dean winchester saying that. like can you imagine him saying that even as a joke. for all his efforts to present himself as a Coherent Swaggering Hero, he has DEEP internal turmoil over who he really is, and all the points at which this heroic masculinity fails. half the time, he is gripped by self-hatred. and when he "changes himself for other people" it's not something he casually flips on and off. it's at the very core of his identity. it's something he cannot remove from himself. he knows full well that "your taste in music? dad's. your jacket? dad's. do you even have an original thought?" he then proceeds to listen to the same music and emulate john winchester in essentially the same ways for the next decade and a half. dean winchester only IS dean winchester because of the external influences that force him to change. and part of this comes from his own compulsion to be written as/write himself as Hot Action Hero at all costs. like literally at the cost of his own life. it's a game that he can't stop playing. when he gets hit by a CAR he wants to know "did it look cool, like in the movies?" abed would never ask that. abed would just know it looks cool. dean has this pathological need to see it reaffirmed by an Audience, a Ceaseless Beholding Gaze that compels him to perform action hero masculinity at all costs

there are two key points of comparison that really cement this for me:

when abed says "i got self-esteem falling out of my butt," it's like an incredibly sincere line. he genuinely is comfortable with himself and has a high opinion of himself. sure, sometimes he gets distressed that the world doesn't see him the way he sees himself, but he knows who he is and doesn't attempt to repress it or lie to himself about it

when dean says "i think i'm adorable" or "there are no men like me" or like any of the "i am dean winchester and i'm amazing and i love myself" swagger lines, it's a PERFORMANCE of self esteem masking, like, a deep core of self-hatred. his entire personhood is built on him lying to himself — (dean to himself in 5x04 voice: i know that lying face i've seen him in the mirror). he can't truly have self-esteem or self-stability because he doesn't truly have a sense of what his Self even is

the han solo thing. in the season 2 finale during the paintball war, abed very consciously takes on a han solo persona because the setting demands it ("it appears we've exited the western and are headed for more of a star wars theme"). he dressed up as han, drops an iconic line or two, and has a Hero's Makeout with annie (who’s “playing” leia) in-character. but as SOON as they're both soaked in paint (and thus their characters are Dead within the game) he snaps out of it with no problem whatsoever. annie calls him "han" afterwards and he literally says he only did it “because the context demanded it.” abed knows exactly when he’s playing a role and when he isn’t, and very consciously turns it on and off.

but dean. OH DEAN WINCHESTER. he is playing the pop culture han solo hero role at all times and will never admit to himself that he is performing. it soaks into like the very core of his being. to quote tumblr user minor-mendings, “dean is trying to be the movie cowboy, the outlaw, the han solo type, with no realisation that that person doesn’t really exist.” i go over this in more detail with my han solo + dean meta - in so many ways he is So Thoroughly Not the pop cultural role that he insists on playing with complete sincerity, and that the writers insist on writing him into with complete sincerity. abed always knows when he is Playing and Referencing and Homaging and Alluding. dean NEVER knows when he is Playing and Referencing and Homaging and Alluding because his whole life is play, an elaborate repetition of stylised acts

so you're right, i think dean and abed are really interesting characters to read alongside each other in that they both 1) sincerely love pop culture in its own right in very fun and neurodivergent ways and 2) use their pop culture knowledge in their own self-fashioning and the way they translate themselves to the world and 3) engage with the world through Homage and Play and enjoy playing Roles. HOWEVER. the way they respectively use pop culture is so deeply different and indicative of fundamentally different processes of self-fashioning and self-perception, that i can't read abed as a dean-figure or dean as an abed-figure. they're complete inverses of each other! dean is a troy mirror/troy-figure and an abed foil

#answered #dean studies #communitynatural #spn #community #wrote this while in line for a covid test wkdffdjfks sasha behind the scenes #anyways communitynatural hive eat this one up #caniwritemywayout

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spookyshake · 4 years

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*proceeds to do exactly everything but work on my pets* H-have some faeries and lore dump I had rotting in the cabinet

[Light Faerie - Justine] A stern light faerie who manages Faerieland's treasury. Rules and regulations are her creed, and she will not allow any misdeed under her watch.

Despite her uptight demeanor, she has a peculiar fondness for games of chance. She seems to have an unwavering confidence in the certainty of numbers- and the dice, once cast, are fair and absolute arbitrators in her eyes. Of course, it could just be that she's addicted to gambling. When there's no clear protocol for a situation, she opts to flip coins and leave it to luck and happenstance.

-Fwaku's life was saved by Justine, who had happened to be passing by the area. She decided to flip a coin to determine his fate- and as luck would have it, he would survive. -The townspeople that had found Fwaku suggested that Justine should give the draik a name. The exchange probably went something like this: Townspeople: Thank you great faerie!! Would you give the honor of naming this child you just saved????? Justine: (uh shit) Give me a moment. *furious dice rolling* Justine: I grant this child the name...F..W...Q...Fwaku. Townspeople: WOW!! WHAT AN HONOR!!

(What kind of name is Fwaku......)

-While Fwaku is generally irreverent and unlikable to most parties he comes across, he displays a great deal of respect towards Faeries because of his background. Justine, in her act of saving and naming Fwaku, also unwittingly left him with a strange blessing: he has extremely good luck to the point of absurdity, which has saved his skin from karmic retribution countless times in the past.

---

[Fire Faerie - Heliae] A go-getter fire faerie with a particularly strong affinity to her element. Still young for a faerie, she has trouble controlling her excessive energy and often bursts into flames when she's excited.

Fun-loving but a bit careless, she loves to attend concerts, festivals, and other events where crowds gather...a serious fire hazard waiting to happen. She doesn't seem to fully grasp the danger she poses to those around her, and was originally sequestered away in Faerieland before she decided to run away- as you do, when you're a young faerie whose had your freedom denied.

Very explosive. very explosive. very explosive.................................

---

[Earth Faerie - Lottie] A lax but cryptic earth faerie who appreciates tranquility. She wandered into Kiko Lake some long time ago, and has since stuck around trying to achieve what she calls 'perfect bliss.' Generally found quietly meditating and contemplating her surroundings- usually with sweets and a cup of borovan as accompaniment. Her perception of time seems to be a little out of sync with the world around her.

Though usually impassive and calm, she hates above else having her peace and quiet disturbed. She will, with a quiet but tremendous fury, catapult raucous intruders out the window. Her longest recorded throw was over a mile! So impressive is her throwing skill, that kiko children often dare one another to see who can get flung the farthest.

-Because the architecture around Kiko Lake are built with kikos in mind, it's not uncommon to see the faerie bump her head on the door frames and ceilings. Fortunately, there's also never a shortage of bandages in the vicinity.

[Dover] Brown Kiko. Ever since Lottie began living on their family land generations back, their crops have prospered- especially asparagus. Now, the family is in the Borovan business, exporting premium blends of chocolate and asparagus for which Kiko Lake is now famed.

Dover isn't the kiko's real name- that was the name of his great great grandfather, but Lottie doesn't seem to make a distinction. All of her little helper kikos are 'Dover' to her. His job is to run around fulfilling Lottie's errands, whether that be procuring snacks or chasing pesky kids out of her yard.

---

[Dark Faerie - Alluce] A vain dark faerie living near Neovia, known to kidnap Neopets to force into servitude. She periodically terrorizes the citizens of Neovia to spread her influence. She wants, above all, to be feared and revered! ...but her actual ambitions tend to be quite small and petty. Knowledgeable about mirrors and magic involving them.

Though she revels in garnering fear, she's rather full of fears and cares herself- the thought of the true horrors lurking within the depths of the Haunted Woods makes her quiver. All smoke and mirrors, no bite.

-Doesn't get along well with Clariote. Alluce can't maintain her high-and-mighty mistress of evil theatrics against Clari's general irreverence. ABSOLUTELY D I S R E S P E C T F U L

---

[Air Faerie - Nephele] A fickle air faerie scout with a light-hearted but arrogant demeanor. One of the faeries tasked by Justine to recover Faerieland's lost artifacts, which were scattered across the lands in the aftermath of the Faerie's Ruin. Holds a strong belief that Neopets are lesser beings, considering them to be incompetent without Faeries.

Rand (Faerie Tonu) and Bell's (Faerie Tuskaninny) supervisor. She usually leaves the Neopets to do all the dirty work and takes credit for their efforts, usually under the justification that Neopets 'owe' the Faeries anyways.

---

[Social Media Faerie - Papilla] A young faerie, rare in her time (Einse’s Future). Big-time celebrity and social media influencer, she loves travelling Neopia and blogging about her adventures (and promoting sponsored products.) Has a great love towards Neopets and lives life at her fullest interacting with them, but holds feelings of isolation due to being perhaps the last known faerie in Neopia. She’s invested in discovering why Faeries have all but disappeared in her time, and spends some of her time flitting across Neopia looking into the matter. She has a terrible sense of humor, and she sometimes has strange fits where she floods her social media with incomprehensible jokes and memes- terrorizing her followers’ feeds. She does all this in earnest, thinking her jokes are hilarious, but her fans generally think she’s just trolling and get a kick out of it. This creates a strange cycle of positive reinforcement as Papilla continues to get many reactions from her bad jokes, reinforcing her confidence in her humor. SOMEONE STOP THIS FAERIE

------------------------------------

[The dynamic between Faeries and Neopets] Neopets aid Faeries, Faeries grant blessings. The dynamic between Neopets and Faeries is mutually beneficial, for the most part.

-Power of belief is essential to grant power to a Faerie's magic. Neopets, by helping Faeries on the premise that they will receive a reward or be granted a blessing, creates a transaction of belief. This is the premise of Faerie quests, which plays a vital role in powering the barrier that protects Neopia from wraiths (among other things.)

-Faeries are perhaps better defined as 'memetic' as opposed to 'elemental'- their magic is framed on a concept or idea, which relies on the belief/understanding/recognition of the themes surrounding the idea in question. The more wide-spread and strongly understood the idea, the greater the manifestation of a faerie's magic. (Motes, though simpler entities, also work on the same logic)

The basic elements, for example, are widely and easily understood as a concept- which may be why the majority of the faerie population falls in this category. (Something like a singular 'Fire' Faerie, for example, would probably be TOO POWERFUL AN IDEA to contain as a single being, so instead there's just a lot of them.)

-Names are very important, because they give shape to a concept or idea. -When they're cut-off from belief, they lose strength (Bottled Faeries) -They can shrink! Probably to conserve magic. -A Faerie without wings is essentially unheard of (with the special exception of Water Faeries). Taking away their wings is one of the most heinous things you can do to a Faerie. -Faeries are born spontaneously? Most of them just appear one day out of the ether or whatever. -They're ageless and nigh immortal

they're......the OG gijinkas <-- hold on this is actually somewhat relevant but that's a story for another time

[Shenkuu - A curious case study of Kaia, the Shenkuu Faerie] Kaia the Shenkuu Faerie appeared spontaneously in a relatively recent timeframe- probably within an average Neopian lifetime. She's a young faerie, younger than most of her kind. She's in the same category as Jhuidah and Taelia- faeries with a strong conceptual connection to the land they watch over.

There are no other (known) faeries in Shenkuu, which implies that the faerie population in Shenkuu is very low or...non-existent? At the very least, it can be said that Faeries are novel in Shenkuu, given that Kaia mentions how everyone stares at her. If we go a step further, we could postulate that Faeries, as a concept, isn't a part of common knowledge in Shenkuu as a whole.

Almost as if the concept of 'Faeries' have never existed here...?

-Shenkuu was a land that had barred itself from the outside world for an undetermined amount of time. The land only recently opened their doors to the rest of Neopia (Cyodrake's Gaze) (*in my lore I'm pinning that down to like 10~15 yrs ago for character reasons but passage of time in Neopia is not very well defined so.... shrugs) -It can be assumed that there was still some exchange occurring with the outside at a smaller scale (Airship merchants, travellers who ended up in or out of Shenkuu by happenstance, Neopians living in areas close to but not quite in Shenkuu proper, etc) -Assumably, Shenkuu has a history perhaps dating back to the heyday of Altador and other 'ancient' civilizations (1000+ years) -This creates a situation where: a. There never were faeries to begin with in Shenkuu or b. There used to be faeries, but they disappeared from Shenkuu AND from common knowledge

-Kaia's manifestation may have been the direct result of the opening of Shenkuu to Neopia- with the arrival of outside trade and ideas, so too did the knowledge of Faeries. Once the faerie 'meme' took hold in Shenkuu, where there was a void of Faeries, it took form as the Shenkuu Faerie: Kaia. This is why she's so young as a faerie- she probably spawned sometime between Cyodrake's Gaze and the present day. (Alternatively, she might have existed in Shenkuu before the events of Cyodrake's Gaze but I think it still holds that she popped up in a pretty recent timeframe.) Kaia herself only seems to know Faeries through the knowledge she received from travelers.

#◆Concepts #★NPC #◎Faeries #▶ Future #i am alive and definitely not posting from beyond the grave

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raisingsupergirl · 4 years

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My Supernatural Courage, pt. 1

*Author’s Note: Since writing this, I’ve had a thought, and I’m mulling it over. It might change my stance on things. It might not. Regardless, proceed, dear reader, to better understand where I’m coming from and where I may end up.*

I've been nervous a lot lately. I think everyone has. Not scared. Just nervous—uncertain. I've been nervous about the corona virus. I've been nervous about maintaining my hours at work. I've been nervous because I overcommit. I've been nervous because this past weekend I had to give a speech in front of my freemason brothers and had to play music in front of my church family. And, most of all, I've been nervous about the widespread civil unrest. But the weird thing is, even though national tensions seem to be on the rise, I'm finally starting to achieve some inner peace. Not because I've reached some sort of new normal or because I've given up in some way, but because my frayed nerves weren't actually about the civil unrest at all. They were about my own inner battle. And it took a bunch of local hillbillies to finally set my mind at ease.

If you've followed with me for long, you know that I stay pretty busy. A few weeks ago, I posted about how I didn't have time to truly commit to the conversation regarding ALM vs BLM. The week after that, I posted about not being ready to die because I still have "stuff to do." Well, even though I knew this past week would be crazy busy, I had one request for Father's Day weekend—I wanted to do nothing. And nothing is what I did. My family spent Saturday at the waterpark, nothing but fun and sun. And then we went out to my mom's for dinner on Sunday. That's it. No blogging. No editing. No mowing the grass. Nothin'. And it was amazing, not just because I needed a breath, but because I needed a moment to think. Creatives know that it's essential to recharge every so often. And after I took Father's Day weekend off, I had newfound clarity on, well, a lot of things.

Like I said, the following week came with its own stresses. Not only did I have a ton of editing to do along with practicing songs for the upcoming weekend's church worship team, but that Thursday night, I was to be installed as my masonic lodge's master for the upcoming year. It's been five years in the making—five years of growth, learning, mistakes, and patience. I've learned so much about what it means to be a man in that time. The core masonic principles are brotherly love, relief, and truth, and it's principle duties are to be, "diligent, prudent, temperate, and discreet." And as I said in my speech last Thursday night, masonry is a confirmation of the men we've always been and a reminder of the men we want to be. It doesn't forge us, but it does sharpen us. And as I dwelt on those principles the week leading up to our officer installation, an inner peace settled over me. But, unfortunately, as I said before, it took a bit of a slap in the face by a really ugly counter protest in a nearby town to get me there.

Growing up and living in central Missouri, you'd think I would be used to racism. And I guess I am, but only in the, "Oh, look, a black guy. How about that?" sort of way, which I guess isn't really racism, but I'm also not surprised when I see someone raise an eyebrow at an interracial couple (I also won't deny that I've heard plenty of racist jokes in my day, but I'm not going to get into the nuances of political correctness, Mel Brooks, and South Park). Again, I've always seen it as lack of exposure more than actual racism, and while I've known there were hardcore racists living amongst us, I guess it's just been an out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. But those blinders were ripped off this last week.

There was a BLM rally in a town about thirty minutes from my house. And, as you'd expect, there were plenty of people who showed up with "White Lives Matter" and "Blue Lives Matter" posters. Which is fine. As I said last week, we live in a free country, and our diverse viewpoints make up the spirit of this huge country. But this rally was pretty awful. First, there were local storeowners standing on their roofs with rifles, looking down on the protestors. I guess I get it. Protect your house, and all that. But, geez, was it really necessary to have your weapons shouldered and at the ready. And, obviously, that increased tensions, leading the BLM and ALM folks to move from "peaceful" to a little more verbally aggressive. And that, unfortunately, led a few of the more, ehem, outspoken anti-protestors to (and I almost hesitate to say it) act like monkeys and pantomime lynchings.

I've seen the pictures. I've heard the reports. The BLM protestors weren't innocent. They threw out racial slurs and accusations. But they didn't resort the that level of debased scum. And I don’t use that phrase lightly. Thinking about it makes me want to spit. Or punch someone. It's no different than making sexual jokes to someone who was molested as a child.

It's easy to write that horrible display off as a small, idiotic percentage of the community. It's easy to sigh and move on, remembering that most people aren't that way. But… some people are! They exist in my community! And those people infect the rest of us. The more they talk, the more they normalize actual (even if it's subtle) racism. Thankfully, their public actions have called them out. They've done much more harm to their cause than good. And that event was at catalyst for me. Well, that and one other.

This next turning point was a small one. It was a simple comment by a black lady. She responded to an "ALM" Facebook post. It was simple and humble. "Everyone already knows that all lives matter but everyone don't agree that black lives matter and if it is never said then we will never matter. So because I say black lives matter it's because I wanna be just as important as you would be to the world…"

Yes, I already knew this obvious truth. Yes, I'd heard it a hundred times. But the way she said it, the fact that it came from her, and the timing of it in my life just made things click. BLM isn't just a social movement with an agenda (which I tend to tie together with human imperfection, various other motives, and some of the rioting). It’s a statement. And it's a simple statement, at that. It doesn't have to be political or loaded. "Black lives matter," I said with a smile and a nod as I waited for her to cross the street. Just imagining that scenario makes me happy. Is it wrong to open a door for a woman, wave a tattooed biker on in front of us at a stoplight, or pay for the meal of someone richer or poorer than us? No. Such acts don't relinquish any of our own self-worth or threaten our futures. They're simple, humane kindnesses that make the world a better place. They're acknowledgements that we are a diverse world, and it's neat to remind specific peoples that they are important, not just to us, but to the Most Holy Lord God.

Oops. I'm sure I lost some of you just now. And that's okay, but stick with me. I'm a Christian, through and through. Christ is a part of my everyday life, and one thing that I've reminded myself of for a long time is that every person I meet is a unique child of God. Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan, and Freemasonry reminds us by proclaiming, "Every human being has a claim on your kind offices. Do good unto all." And even though it took me a while to get here, I've found peace in those sentiments. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. And I'm not afraid in the slightest about the future.

When I hear about rioters pushing down statues, I'm reminded of Jesus overturning the moneychangers' tables in the temples. There are plenty of excuses to maintain the status quo, but none of them are really good ones. What are you afraid of? Losing our history? Really? I can still find MySpace comments I made fifteen years ago, and my mom still has pictures of me naked in the bathtub. We're not talking about destroying someone's personal property or threatening their lives (or livelihood). We're talking about a symbolic act of desperation. Was it smart? Or right? Or productive? Who knows, but it's nothing to freak out about!

White people, what are you afraid of? Seriously. Are you afraid that black people will enslave you? Are you afraid of economic collapse? Are your guns going to be taken from you? Your jobs? Your freedom of speech? I mean, c'mon. Even if all of those things did happen (which they won't), who cares!? … Okay, wait. I get it. Slaves care. I'm sure it sucks. But you know how black slaves survived in early American history? They relied on God! Remember the Jews? Christianity was literally born out of a nation of slaves! Oppression is woven into the story of humanity, start to finish. We're a broken world. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. The first shall become last, and the last shall become first. Are any of these ringing a bell?

Okay, sorry. I got a little worked up there. But I can't help it. Everyone is so afraid of losing stuff, and nobody is taking five seconds to ask why. Why, truly, are you alive? What are you trying to do? Okay, yes, I get the compulsion to protect your family and future generations. It's biological (which doesn't make it any less important). It's engrained within our race's perpetuation. But we are one race, and I’m sorry, but your family isn't the pinnacle of genetic, moral, and intellectual perfection for the human race. Your kid may have won the spelling bee, but he's not going to cure cancer.

So, ease up a little bit. Let the rest of the world have a little space. Do I agree with everything the BLM movement has been associated with? Of course not. And I never will, because there are a lot of people who hitch themselves to bandwagons, regardless of their own, personal motives. If rioters make the USA into Mad Max, well, then you'll finally be able to tell your wife, "I told you so" about all of the guns and ammo you've been buying over the years. If one truly evil civil rights activist rises up and turns us into a nation of white slaves, well, I guess we'll just have to focus in a little more on being kind to our neighbor, looking to the afterlife, and trusting in God to reward us for obeying his commandments. But more than likely, all of the extremists on both sides will be cut off from the herd, and the rest of us will (eventually) live in a slightly different-looking America than what it has been for the past couple centuries. That's the funny thing about time—the present eventually becomes history. We don't continue to live in it, and we don't forget it. We accept it, learn from it, and move on. Simple enough.

In the end, it's your choice. I've probably offended just about everyone with this post (but as usual, I did it in a super nice way, so good luck calling me out, jerk). But this has been my journey to peace with the situation. My family will live on. My nation will live on. Maybe we'll be blessed with earthly comfort, or maybe we'll be sharpened by trials and tribulations. But eternity waits for me, and while I still walk this earth, I'll have no problem praising and building up specific people and specific groups. Why? Because differences are what make people awesome, and I'm not afraid to remind them of it.

#equality #peace #finding peace #blm #alm #christianity #inner peace #civil unrest #protest

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stardyng · 5 years

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I love your blog as a Sansa and Jonsa fan, and I can’t help but see your Harry x Sansa opinions while perusing. I didn’t read the books, so my question is - why isn’t the ship more popular if indeed Harry seems like a good match? I’ve read that Harry is an ass, does his character evolve to be a worthy match for Sansa? And finally, how important do you think his role is if he doesn’t even exist in the show? Please get back to me when you have free time! I’d really love to read your thoughts :)

There’s a multitude of reasons why Harry Hardyng, and the pairing itself aren’t popular, and I am painfully aware of the reasons. There are essentially two main reasons for this.

First of all, Harry is not only a book only character, but he and Sansa only had one conversation with each other in a unpublished chapter that you can find online. In order to read that chapter, you have to have read the five other books. This makes the pairing itself quite inaccessible compared to a lot of her other pairings. Therefore, the people who even know that Harry The Heir exist are already low enough, with many of them already wanting her to be paired off with another character by the time they read the latest Sansa chapter.

Second of all, and this is one is going to hurt me, but Harry The Heir is a explicitly flawed character…or at least that’s what people seem to think based on what we know about him thus far. People have made elaborated essays on how terrible he is based on the little we know from him. Our introduction to him is him not wanting to have a walk with Sansa because she’s ‘’Littlefinger’s bastard’’, and later we come to find out that he has a child and another girl pregnant. He then proceeds to fat-shame one of his earlier lovers. So…a lot of people end up finishing that chapter really disliking him. I don’t blame them for their feelings, but I just don’t agree.

However, I think that all of the characteristics and actions that people use in order to prove that he is a terrible person aren’t valid, because a lot of it ignores the fact that there is more to him, and the fact that he too was born and raised in the Westorosi society, and that the way he acts and the way he views certain things are impacted by that very fact. At the end of the day, a lot of Harry’s actions and thoughts can be understood if you acknowledge these two things.

For starters, I think his negative reaction about having a walk with Sansa is not justified but understandable if we look at things from his perspective. He is forced into a match with a stranger who’s the daughter of a man he doesn’t like, and so he’s angry and says something that isn’t very nice. While he did use the slur ‘’bastard’’, I think that we should consider that perhaps, his problem wasn’t the fact that she was a bastard necessarily, but that he didn’t want to be engaged to anyone in the first place (he’s a 17 year old boy!!!) or simply the fact that she was Littlefinger’s child. It could also be the bastard thing, but to shame him for classism, when a lot of everyone’s favorite characters did or said classist things is completely unfair. They live in a society that promotes classist point of views, and most characters are in environments suffusing in classism. Jon, Catelyn and Sansa among many other protagonists in the story have said or thought things that are rather classist.

Even when talking about the use of ‘’bastard’’ as a slur, we’ve seen a lot of sympathetic characters use it as well. Catelyn used it ( “I need none of your absolution, bastard.”), Tyrion used it numerous times, Arya used it (’’you’re nothing but a bastard boy!’’), Jaime used it, and Jon even used it as well (’’and we are coming for you, bastard.’’). To solely shame Harry for doing something that the majority of people in Westoros has done I think is rather unfair.

With that out of the way, the whole situation with Harry The Heir, his sex life, and his own set of ‘’bastards’’ turn a lot of other people off. I’ve seen some people blatantly shame Harry for having sex which is a pretty terrible thing to do. I mean sure he could have use a contraceptive method, but him having casual sex on it’s own isn’t really that bad a thing. However, more people judge Harry in reason of the fact that they think he’s negligent of the women he has had sex with, and I disagree completely with that idea.

Thing is that the women he has had sex with were not explicitly stated to be his lovers. They could very much just be people he has had casual sex with. This is what he has to say about the mother of his first child:

“Yes. Cissy was a pretty thing when I tumbled her, but childbirth left her as fat as a cow, so Lady Anya arranged for her to marry one of her men-at-arms. It is different with Saffron.” - Alayne I, TWOW

Well what I’m going to do is tell you had these things don’t mean. A lot of people like to say that he stopped being with Cissy because she was pregnant or became fat or some nonsense like that, when in reality, that isn’t stated anywhere. All that’s stated is that she became fat so Lady Anya arranged her to be with someone else. Harry The Heir wasn’t given a choice in any of this. He didn’t get to decide if we has going to stay with her or not. Shaming Harry for something that he didn’t get to decide is rather unfair. Plus, he knows what’s going on with the mother of his child, and the text implies that she is in a financially stable situation and is going to marry a man who will help her take care of the child. She’s completely fine and she doesn’t need him.

Other people like to discredit him due to his fat shaming in this line. I would just like these people to get off their high horse that they’ve just decided to climb on. Several main protagonists in the story have made fat-shaming jokes or comments. Arya was not happy that she had to sit next to Tommen, ‘’the little fat one’’ instead of the comely prince Joffrey, Ned and Catelyn made some fun of Robert’s weight in the show, Arya called people ‘’grossly fat’’ numerous times, Jon describes Sam as the ‘’fat boy’’ in his head for a lot of his earlier chapters, Tyrion describes the High Septon as being ‘’ as fat as a house.’’, Olenna Tyrell, everyone’s favorite comedian makes a lot of fat-shaming comments and you could find a lot of other fat-shaming comments made by a multitude of characters both major and minor, both protagonists and antagonists in the series. Yet the only one seem to have a problem with is Harry which is completely is unfair, especially when unlike what people say, his comment wasn’t about him leaving her because she was fat, it was about Lady Anya giving her to someone specific because she was fat.

Then, there’s the question of his second lover Saffron, who is also pregnant. The idea that he left his other lover because he’s negligent and is not willing to take care of his children is untrue not only because that was not the reason he was even separated from Cissy in the first place, but also because he is still around his second lover Saffron, who he has not said one negative thing about. He didn’t express any willingness to run away from her or anything. Therefore that bit of criticism is invalid as well.

Therefore, at the end of the day, I think none of the things that people use as proof that he is supposedly an ass is valid. I mean sure, one of the minor characters seem to have reached that conclusion, but basing off what he has done and how he has acted with Sansa in their only conversation, I just don’t see it. It’s like how many of the characters in the story seem convinced that Sansa is stupid even though reading her chapters, she comes off as rather intelligent, except this time it’s Harry, who has been extremely respectful of Sansa, yet is apparently an ass.

That brings me to the fact that Harry has treated Sansa far better than most of the characters in the story. Yes he initially dismissed her because she was Littlefinger’s daughter/bastard at first, but when they interacted later on, he was extremely courteous. He is her only possible love interest who not only apologized to her candidly for his previous actions (’’I was unforgivably rude to you in the yards…you must forgive me,’’), he actually changed his behavior after his apology unlike Tyrion or Ned, whose apology were simply justifications for their actions. Not only that but he called her pretty without being creepy about it, he has been completely honest with her even when she had asked extremely personal questions, he has absolutely no ulterior motives, he genuinely enjoy her as a person, laughs when she makes funny jokes and even complimented her intelligence. People act like he treats women like trash when he respected Sansa’s personal space and didn’t sexually harass her or objectify her in any manner, and even when he talked about his previous lover’s beauty, he was never objectifying or being creepy about it (“Saffron is very beautiful, I’ll have you know. Tall and slim, with big brown eyes and hair like honey.”)

I think their interaction was really wonderful, because unlike so many of Sansa’s love interests, he actually genuinely respects her. He never dismissed what she had to say at the basis of her sex or anything like that. There’s also more personal reasons as to why I enjoy this ship. I think their dynamic is really enjoyable because I enjoy seeing Sansa tease him and make him blush and bewildered, and it’s evident to me that she is in complete control of the situation when they interact. Most of the times we’ve seen Sansa interact with another character, it’s that other character who is in control, and often use that control to do horrible things to her. However, in this situation, she not only has the agency, but he lets her have it. When she asks personal questions about his life, he answers. When she teases him and plays with him, he genuinely enjoys it. Like when she said he’s bad at conversation, he could have been all insulted, yet instead he laughs at her making fun of him. When she makes a suggestive comment, he grins. I don’t know how so many people can just dismiss the pairing when it’s so refreshing to see Sansa have such freedom in her relationship with someone else.

So yeah, every criticism that people launch Harry’s way is invalid in my opinion. Some of them are blatantly false, a lot of them are baseless assumptions and others are things that so many of the other protagonists have done and said without as much criticism. I think that Harry has not been an ass to Sansa, and has been really courteous with her. Not only that, but he genuinely respects her and what she has to say unlike so many of the characters people want her to be with. To go even further, their dynamic is unlike every other Sansa dynamic that has some romantic vibes to them because she has a lot of freedom and agency in this particular relationship. I honestly can’t wait to see more of them together.

#stardyng #sansaxharry #harry the heir #harry hardyng #harrold hardyng #asoiaf meta #sort off #sansa stark #sansa #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #i will elaborate on what I think will happen to him and his importance in another post #this post was already getting very long and that part of the question didn't fit with the rest #so i'll just be another post #anyways #stardyng rights y'all!!!#long post #asks

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nosecrinklewrites · 5 years

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a review of the Netflix show “Bonding”

summary of the show: pete is having financial troubles. his best friend tiff offers him a job. tiff is a professional domme (they say “dominatrix” in the show). she works in a dungeon during the night, studies to become a psychiatrist by day. she tells him to show up at the dungeon, but fails to mention it is a dungeon, and that she is a domme. pete is essentially coerced into being her assistant, without tiff explaining what that entails. cue the kink shaming and “fun” shenanigans.

long rambling summary, including all the weird shit (spoiler alert, except the show is predictable as shit, so not really):

first off, there was no consent given at any point, it was dub-con from start to finish. no aftercare, no nothing. clients were showing clear signs of discomfort and distress at severel points, but nothing was done to make them feel safe.

the whole bdsm aspect of the show feels so weird. the story isn’t centered around it. the actual story is that tiff works as a domme, but is ashamed of it, so she doesn’t tell people, and that takes its toll. she could’ve had so many other jobs, and the core story wouldn’t have changed at all. it’s really not about the kink stuff - and thank god for that, because it was BAD.

the opening scene of episode one is pete walking up to the dungeon, being confused about having to give a password, as he was under the impression it was tiff’s apartment, walks down a hallway, is lead into tiff’s room (or mistress may, as her domme name is), to reveal tiff in a (cheap, ill fitting) domme outfit. she knows he needs money and will have a hard time turning a job offer down, and still decides to pressure him into being her assisstant/bodyguard. her client then comes barging in, in fetish gear. pete has no idea what his role is, or what being an assistant entails (she never explains what his role is).

tiff tells pete that what she does is not sex work, which is?? people pay you to turn them on and make them orgasm, how is that not sex work??

the whole show is essentially pete showing up to a scene with tiff, and some poor client they kinkshame to their face. they dicuss their private matters, while clients are tied up in the background. pete gets more and more involved with the scenes. he moves from being the gear holder/bodyguard, to being actively part of the scenes.

we see tiff in what is supposed to be a psychology class? i think? where they discuss the relationship between client and therapist. it’s supposed to draw parallels between sex worker/client and therapist/client. this happens over and over.

pete lives with a roommate and has no money. pete is gay and they try to push that as a plot point, but it’s really not. the roommate is a weird subplot. the roommate has a girlfriend, and because the apartment is so small, pete can hear them talk and have sex. roommate wants the girlfriend to finger him, but she doesn’t want to. it’s clear that this is something he really, really wants. this is supposed to be funny, i guess? kudos to him, though, the guy is clearly very passionate about ass play and is discussing it openly with his partner.

let me tell you about some clients:

there’s a guy who’s into humiliation and watersports, and the guy shows up trough out the show, as a punchline. he gets off on being told he has a small dick. he seems nice, i don’t understand why it’s funny he’s into those things. instead of a red/yellow/green scale, he uses flintstones characters, and tiff knows what the characters mean - which i thought was really neat! but they make fun of it, when the client can’t hear it.

another client is present everytime they’re in tiff’s apartment. the guy is essentially her maid. she yells at him over her shoulder, to do a better job washing her dishes/dusting/etc, in between speaking with pete. she has a CLIENT in her PRIVATE HOME. this client knows her HOME ADDRESS and is present when she makes appointments with other clients on the phone. while tiff is on a date with a guy, this client shows up, and tells her he’s in love with her - HE KNOWS WHERE SHE LIVES. luckily, we don’t see him again.

meanwhile, pete is trying to come to terms with his new job. he wants to be a comedian, but is too shy to go on stage, and is shown bailing on a performance many times. the first person he talks to about his new profession, is his roommate. the roommate is supportive and excited and asks if tiff puts stuff up people’s butts. pete calls tiff, but tiff is not picking up. roommate suggest pete do it instead. pete says ok. pete fingers his roommate (again, they clearly did not discuss anything beforehand). roommate loves it (i liked that part. it was nice seeing what appears to be a straight dude enjoying getting fingered). he compliments pete on his eyes and there’s some “omg does roommate like pete??” going on. it was kinda cute. anyway, pete fingers him, roommate likes it, is seconds away from coming, roommate’s girlfriend shows up, and punches pete in the face.

there’s another client. this one, oh boy, this one. a nice looking lady wants tiff to domme her husband. the husband DOES NOT KNOW THAT SHE IS DOING THIS. her husband has a tickle kink (i think?) and we’re not told why the wife can’t/won’t do it herself. pete and tiff show up at their house, where the husband is told there’s a domme here for him. he has no idea what is going on. tiff ties him up and tickles him and it’s clear nothing was discussed beforehand. meanwhile, pete waits in the kitchen with the wife. the wife is clearly upset about her husband being with someone else. pete talks to her and suggests she punch him in the face, since he already has a black eye from roommate’s girlfriend, which she happily pays for (???).

tiff starts seeing a guy from her class, but freaks out because she feels like she’s wearing a mask all the time, and clearly the guy won’t like her if he knows she’s a domme. pete is telling people now, and since pete can do it, tiff wants to do it too. eventually she tells the guy and he’s ok with it. he doesn’t mind at all, although he clearly isn’t entirely sure what being a domme is.

there’s also a weird subplot where tiff saves a girl from her class, when their professor hits on her and touches her when they’re alone?

there’s sort of two endings. first one is in episode six. in class, they have to do a thesis on why they want to be a therapist. tiff stands before her class, in full domme getup, and tells them why she wants to be a therapist. this is also when she tells the guy she’s seeing she’s a domme.

pete finally goes on stage with his comedy. he does it in fetish gear and the jokes are all centered around doing bdsm. (pete’s character developement boils down to pete starting out timid and shy, and then blossoming into a natural dom (tiff and pete had a fight, which leads to pete having to take on a client without tiff. the guy wants them to wrestle while wearing penguin costumes. the guy wants to kiss, pete says no (the first clear “no” in the whole show) and proceeds to spank the client - which they didn’t discuss - luckily the client is into it, and before pete leaves, the client calls him “master”).)

the other is in episode seven (the last episode). we meet the husband and wife again. since tiff and pete were there the first time, the couple have talked, and now the husband lets the wife tickle him until she gets angry and starts punching him. it’s not working out for them (the husband flinches everytime the wife moves), so they want to hire pete and tiff again. the wife is shown HITTING HER HUSBAND who whimpers and laughs nervously. tiff is there alone because pete and tiff are fighting. that whole plot just ends there.

then pete and tiff go to a client’s place, where the client proceeds to lock pete in the bathroom, and threaten tiff with a knife, because he’s paying for her time, so obviously, he can do whatever he wants with her. pete breaks out of the bathroom, distracts the client, and tiff stabs him (???), and they run away. no police or nothing.

in conclusion: yikes™

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possiblyimbiassed · 6 years

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Sherlock and the media – Part II

When I wrote this meta about media’s role in BBC Sherlock, I wasn’t really planning to write a ‘Part II’ of it. But then all these great and thoughtful additions to it (see rb notes to the link above) were so inspiring that I can’t resist doing a follow-up. To me it’s easier to see patterns if I try to summarize and structure the various observations and comment on them topic-wise, as well as on a couple of things we seem to agree on. And please feel free to correct me if I’ve gotten anyone’s ideas wrong.

1. The depiction of media in BBC Sherlock is indeed mostly negative

@whimsicalethnographies points out, in addition, that media has the potential to be a positive force in real life, but that’s often not the case; a free press is essential, but the ability to navigate it is just as important. There’s a “huge critique of the media AND the way we consume it” in this show.

And I fully agree with this; media can (and should) play an important investigative and educational role if and when it manages to be an independent source of information. But we mustn’t forget that most of the media is commercial, that its primary interest is to make money. Which means that when the choice stands between trying to be objective and respect people’s integrity on one hand, and bringing sensational news that sell on the other, the latter will often be priority. And as long as we as readers don’t apply critical thinking, a lot of dubious ideas and outright lies will pass for truth, and we’ll tend to consume them and believe them unquestioningly. And I think we see several examples of characters that fall for this in BBC Sherlock, with the results ranging from relatively harmless (Mrs Hudson is now convinced she should never wear the colour cerise because of something a celebrity said on the telly) to disastrous (The Chief superintendent of NSY proceeds to arrest a man who has helped them for years, based on speculations inside his corps and gossip in the media).

So, source criticism is incredibly important.

I’ll leave the rest under the cut for more patient readers, because this is quite long. :)

@raggedyblue observes that the press never looks well in Sherlock; it’s a “very powerful, two-edged sword” which has “the power to change” when taken critically. But it can also “turn people into herds of sheep” (which I believe CAM condescendingly says right out: ‘a nation of herbivores’).

@221bloodnun also sees an increasing role of media as villains in the show, where Mary appears to be the composite of them all. While John’s main problem is media’s representation of them, Sherlock’s problem is the villains, if I understand it correctly.

So yes; together these things make a terrible adversary for our heroes. I think we have it all in BBC Sherlock; villains who use media as a tool for their crimes (Moriarty), villains who thrive on media (Smith) and media itself being the villain (CAM). And then we have the trickiest part; Mary, who is supposedly in opposition to media (seemingly attacking CAM, seemingly a victim of his blackmail), but actually a big part of the problem (a glossed-over murderer).

@raggedyblue also mentions that one of the few press-related characters in ACD canon is Langdale Pike, who is both source and receptor for gossip. (And “strangely very similar to the description of Mycroft, both are sitting all day in the same place, and despite this, they always know everything about everyone”). In The Adventure of the Three Gables, Watson refers to the press that propagate Pike’s reports as “the garbage papers which cater to an inquisitive public.” (I guess their modern equivalents would be the tabloids?) And in Sherlock T6T, observes @raggedyblue, Langdale appears among the government’s codenamed people who helped edit the video of Sherlock shooting CAM. “That’s not what happened at all. But it is what will be told”. We’re not told who of the five characters present at the hearing is supposed to be ‘Langdale’, but my bet is on Mycroft. :)

To the few media-related characters from canon I’d also like to add Mr. Horace Harker of the Central Press Syndicate, the journalist in The Six Napoleons, whom Holmes lies to in order to take advantage of media’s influence on the suspect.

Holmes lets the journalist make a good story out of the idea that the police are on another track, and Watson comments it like this: “I could not but admire the cunning with which my friend had inserted a wrong clue in the evening paper, so as to give the fellow the idea that he could continue his scheme with impunity”. Manipulation involving media. Hmm.

2. The possibility that Sherlock might have faked his suicide to protect John from being destroyed by media, rather than snipers.

@sherlocks-salty-blog takes this even further: “That would explain why Sherlock is so willing to accept Mary in their life? to kill CAM despite of this could be a death sentence? why he was waiting his death in TST? And willing to acept Mary’s deathly advice to save John in TLD?“

Yes, I think you might be on to something there, @sherlocks-salty-blog. Sherlock behaves very differently in S3 and S4 in comparison to S1-2. He is far more passive towards John leaving him for another person than one would have thought after John’s string of girlfriends; Sherlock even organizes the wedding (something so ‘mundane’ that it would be the last thing I’d expected from him). And his acceptance of ‘Mary’ after her shooting and almost killing him is absurd, to say the least. And then even killing for her sake, telling other people that she is his friend in T6T, and taking blame and a beating from John for her death in TLD. Taken at face value, none of this in HLV and S4 makes an iota of sense. Which is why I believe that it’s all happening inside Sherlock’s head and that it’s actually about something else entirely; I think it’s about guilt, about The Fall and about ‘protecting’ John (and probably himself) from having to face the truth about their relationship, actually being honest to each other. It’s probably also fear of what the press might do to John if they would appear publicly as a couple. I think in general Sherlock feels haunted by the press, and he doesn’t like it one bit.

Another interesting observation from @raggedyblue is that CAM and the press are apparently not interested in Sherlock’s drug use; his relationship with John is seen as more scandalous and therefore pressure point. Yes I believe Sherlock learns this the hard way in HLV; you can’t always fool the media. Once they’ve picked up your scent they’ll keep digging. But the total disinterest from the press in Sherlock’s evident drug habits in TLD is still a bit suspicious to me; if anything, this is yet another piece of evidence that TLD happens inside Sherlock’s head. I think this might also be Sherlock’s internalized homophobia speaking; he has probably convinced himself that society will see his sexual orientation as worse than being a drug addict, thus he’s far more reluctant to talk to anyone about his true feelings for John, than about taking drugs. The drugs are rather the excuse, an escape from having to deal with his emotions.

3. As for Sherlock’s public persona, or ‘facade’, I definitely think media plays a role there:

@sherlockshadow recalls an interesting quote from TAB: WATSON: “That is the version of you that I present to the public. I write all of that, Holmes, and the readers lap it up. But I do not believe it. You are a living, breathing man. You’ve lived a life, you have a past. Experiences. Impulses”. To me this confirms that Watson’s chronicles in canon, as well as what we see in the BBC Sherlock show in general, are elaborated products rather than any kind of objective ‘truth’. So it makes sense that the authors would let Watson address this in TAB, which is kind of a mix between BBC Sherlock and canon.

According to @sarahthecoat, The Strand Magazine has become the lens through which we see Holmes, while Holmes himself remains unseen, as exemplified by Holmes hiding in the hansom in TAB.

Yes, I agree, and I think basically the same goes for John Watson’s blog in our times (except for the last post). The interesting thing about BBC Sherlock, however, is that many things are rather shown from Holmes’ perspective. In fact, I believe the whole show is. ;)

4. On a meta level of this show, might there be a message about the media?

@gosherlocked offers the idea that media might symbolize certain parts of the public, of public opinion towards people who are different in one way or the other.

Oh yes, I agree that this might definitely be the case; Sherlock says it himself about CAM (=media):

I think media’s behaviour in the show reflects the fact that the LGBTQ issue is constantly joked about and alluded to, but never addressed seriously. Kitty Riley’s prying into Sherlock’s love life or the papers calling John a ‘confirmed bachelor” in TRF are examples of this. I also believe that this is entirely intentional from the show-makers, because I think it’s meant as satire - maybe a kind of satire that (sadly) flies over the heads of most of their audience, and over real life media’s head in particular, but still satire; harsh, damning mockery. And I suspect that what they’re making fun of might be the hypocrisy of the public opinion, the parts of the audience that uncritically swallows whatever hetero norm rubbish of a storyline they’re served without even questioning it - including the part of traditional sherlockian fandom that would be apalled by the prospect of a gay Holmes. Seemingly ‘warm paste’ but subversive under the surface, I believe.

Another good point, made by @elldotsee, is this: “Oh! I also believe that TPTB are doing the same to us IN REAL LIFE. all the interviews, especially since s4 that insist that there was “never any romance” between John and Sherlock, that Martin and Ben never “played at being lovers”, etc etc. they’re using the media to make us believe the fairy tales, just like they told us they were going to in the show. Maybe this is their “big, ground breaking idea”.¨

Yes - that’s exactly what I think too, @elldotsee. I strongly suspect the writers are playing with us this way. In fact, I believe that the main purpose, the central message with this show is not ‘Johnlock’ per se; it’s not to give LGBTQ people their long due representation in the world’s most famous detective story (even if I do believe this will still be their endgame). No, I think this is a comment on the still very much lingering homophobia and heteronormativity, and just how easily people buy into media’s lies and fairy tales about it. I believe S4 is a Dystopia, as @tjlcisthenewsexy has pointed out earlier - a worst case scenario. But I think they’re very deliberately messing around with their audience, trying to teach us a lesson: ‘Think critically, do not just lap up everything you hear from media’.

The cast and crew can say just about anything in interviews, and next time contradict it, and real life media can twist it around a million times; it’s still only the work that matters.

Therefore, If we want answers, we have to look at the actual show, not at what’s said about it in media.

(By the way @elldotsee , you wonder when John’s blog stops updating? As far as I know, that happens shortly after TSoT but before HLV, and Sherlock makes the last post when John is on honeymoon. I wrote about these things in my meta series ‘What happened to Sherlock?’ (X, X, X, X). John types on a jpg-file in T6T.)

5. About ‘straight-washing’

@tjlcisthenewsexy had a lot of interesting additions, some of which I replied to here. One of them was that S4:s function might be to ‘set the record straight’, just as Janine’s interviews about Sherlock being ‘as red-blooded as they come’, did in HLV, thereby denying any gay relationship between him and John.

@sarahthecoat points out something similar; that Janine’s ‘straightwashing’ of Sherlock in the press in HLV could be seen as a parallel to Mary’s ‘straightwashing’ of John by marrying him.

Come to think of it, that’s pretty much exactly the implications of ‘Mary’s role in canon and in Sherlock, according to this excellent analysis by @green-violin-bow: “And there you have it: the central problem of Mary Morstan/Watson, in both ACD canon and BBC Sherlock – she shoots Sherlock in the heart – or does she save his life?“ “Mary Watson’s presence provides Holmes and Watson with a lifesaving alibi”.

Which was probably the only narrative option for them in the Victorian times, where they would have been imprisoned if found together (and that would go for the author writing about them too). While in our time the same solution seems to me like an infuriating backlash, something we should never tolerate.

6. About media and power

@elldotsee lifts several good points, of which I find this one particularly interesting: The name ‘Napoleon’ is associated with three different persons in this show: 1. CAM is referred to as the “Napoleon of blackmail” in HLV 2. Moriarty calls himself the “Napoleon of crime” in TAB 3. Craig the hacker in T6T says that “Thatcher’s like – I dunno – Napoleon now”

To this I’d like to add the conversation between Sherlock and Faith in TLD (transcript by Ariane De Vere, my bolding):

SHERLOCK: D’you know why I’m going to take your case? Because of the one impossible thing you’ve said. FAITH: What impossible thing? SHERLOCK: You said your life turned on one word. FAITH: Yes: the name of the person my father wanted to kill. SHERLOCK: That’s the impossible thing. Just that, right there. FAITH: What’s impossible? SHERLOCK: Names aren’t one word. They’re always at least two. Sherlock Holmes; Faith Smith; Santa Claus; Winston Churchill; Napoleon Bonaparte. Actually, just ’Napoleon’ would do. FAITH: Or Elvis? SHERLOCK: Well, I think we can rule both of them out as targets.

And instead, Sherlock eventually comes up with the word ‘anyone’ as a target for the serial killer. Yes, because Napoleon wasn’t exactly a target, was he? He was rather the aggressor. Well, in the ACD canon story The Six Napoleons, busts of him are repeatedly smashed of course, just as busts of Thatcher is destroyed in both the episode TST and John’s blog post The Six Thatchers. But in the quote above, Napoleon’s name is also placed beside Winston Churchill, a famous British prime minister. This, in combination with the linking of two villains and Thatcher to Napoleon’s name, makes one thing rather obvious to me: that Margaret Thatcher is also seen as a villain by Sherlock, and the show; maybe she’s even seen as a serial killer. I think there’s a reason why these two names – Napoleon and Thatcher – are so emphasized in the show. Because they link three things together: Homophobia (Moriarty), Media (CAM) and the government (Thatcher). All of them can produce death if their doings drive people to suicide.

7. Kitty Riley

@ebaeschnbliah points out something that I hadn’t noticed at all: that the words ‘Make Believe’ can be found on the wall of Kitty Riley’s room in TRF.

Wow - fairy tales… ;)

@tjlcisthenewsexy also brings up Kitty Riley and the bathroom scene, but then also says this:

“Sherlock WAS protecting John - protecting him from what Sherlock KNEW was coming very shortly. I mean it’s already in the show, really - “Sherlock is a fake” might as well read “They’re gay”. Kitty Reilly colluded with homophobia (in the form of Jim Moriarty) to put together that shaming article that supposedly lead directly to Sherlock’s suicide. Yep….it’s all in there”.

I do agree with this, and I’d like to linger a bit longer on Kitty’s possible role here, because I believe there’s definitely more to these events than meets the eye. There are so many weird things about the scene in her apartment, and the events leading up to it in TRF, that I can’t help wondering which parts of it are actually ‘real’. So let’s have a closer look.

First of all, John hasn’t written anything on his blog about the central case of TRF - the case that meant Sherlock’s supposed death - except this:

And then this: “But you know what happened? Sherlock saved the lives of two kids. Regardless of anything else, he did that. And they didn't even like him very much. If you really think that he was guilty or that Moriarty wasn't real then feel free to explain this “ (link to the post with Moriarty’s hacking of his blog).

But this makes me suspicious, because it doesn’t exactly make sense; why is it ‘too final’? Why is it so negative for John to write about this? Wouldn’t it be John Watson’s dearest interest to write up the truth about this case, trying to clear Sherlock’s name from media’s slander? That’s what he does in ACD canon, at least; he describes The Final Problem with the events at the Reichenbach Falls in detail, to let the world see that the slandering of Holmes by his enemies is completely false (excerpt from FINA, my bolding):

“It was my intention to have stopped there, and to have said nothing of that event which has created a void in my life which the lapse of two years has done little to fill. My hand has been forced, however, by the recent letters in which Colonel James Moriarty defends the memory of his brother, and I have no choice but to lay the facts before the public exactly as they occurred. I alone know the absolute truth of the matter, and I am satisfied that the time has come when no good purpose is to be served by its suppression. As far as I know, there have been only three accounts in the public press: that in the Journal de Genève on May 6th, 1891, the Reuter’s dispatch in the English papers on May 7th, and finally the recent letters to which I have alluded. Of these the first and second were extremely condensed, while the last is, as I shall now show, an absolute perversion of the facts. It lies with me to tell for the first time what really took place between Professor Moriarty and Mr. Sherlock Holmes”.

But apparently our modern John didn’t want to do this on his blog, in spite of having witnessed Moriarty’s whole performance in Kitty’s apartment. John must have plenty of evidence that show Sherlock’s real part in the case, and he and Molly assisted in the whole chemical analysis at Barts. And what about his own role; if Sherlock was arrested for kidnapping, wouldn’t John be his accomplice? But answering the vile attacks on Sherlock in his comment section John just says “Believe what you like”, and not a word about media’s role. In fact, the media is never even mentioned by John between TRF and Sherlocks return in TEH, in spite of having played such a damning role in Sherlock’s downfall. John does write up some other of their cases after this, but the kidnapping case seems taboo. I sense a kind of fear here; there must be things we’re not told. Was John under pressure?

The circumstances around Sherlock’s arrest in TRF look odd to me, to say the least; apparently he’s a suspect for having figured out how to save the kidnapped children, and because one of the kids got frightened when she saw him. But there’s no actual evidence that we know of, only Donovan’s very dubious speculations about a possible motive, based on an upset child’s reaction. And Sherlock made his deductions about the place at the police station, in front of everyone. Basically, they had nothing on him to hold water in a court case. How can anyone be arrested for kidnapping on those grounds? And if Sherlock wanted to avoid being photographed by the media when brought in by a police car, why not just take a cab to the police station by himself? After all, that’s what he usually does!

But instead, he sits and waits to get collected, and then he escapes together with John, and drags both of them handcuffed in front of a bus, based on the extremely risky prediction that the assassin might save them. Is it really worth risking John’s life to prove a point about a computer code? Weird... And then there’s Kitty. Why break into her apartment? This guy is now wanted by the police, and the first thing he does is committing a crime at the very place of the journalist who has been slandering him in the press? Anyway, when John and Sherlock arrive at Kitty’s apartment, the wisest thing to do would be to use any tool in her kitchen to immediately get rid of the handcuffs, right? And then perhaps search her apartment for clues? Nope. Instead, they just sit handcuffed in the dark, waiting for the journalist with her door open.

I think the symbolism of this is very apt; they’re closely and firmly bound to each other, but completely in the dark about it! :))) And then Media comes to reveal it...

More absurdities: Kitty shows them her still un-published article, as if this would be ‘proof’ that Sherlock is a fraud. Let’s take a closer look at it. This is her earlier brief news flash in The Sun, advertising the coming article:

Transcript: SHERLOCK: THE SHOCKING TRUTH - EXCLUSIVE

(Close Friend Richard Brook Tells All)

SUPER-SLEUTH Sherlock Holmes has today been exposed as a fraud in a revelation that will shock his new found base of [ado]ring fans. Out-of-work actor Richard Brook revealed exclusively to THE SUN that he was hired by Holmes in an elaborate deception to fool the British public into believing Holmes had above-average ‘detective skills’. Brook, who has known Holmes for decades and until recently considered him to be a close friend, said he was at first desperate for the money, but later found he had no [...]

And this is the still un-published manuscript that Kitty shows Sherlock and John in her flat - the document that Kitty calls ‘conclusive proof’ (together with some loose papers from Moriarty which do not look like cuttings from newspapers; the paper is entirely white and there’s no logo or date or similar evidence that they have actually been published):

Transcript: SHERLOCK’S A FAKE!

“He invented all the crimes” (Exclusive from Kitty Riley)

Out-of-work actor Richard Brook reveals exclusively to us that he was hired by Holmes in an elaborate deception to fool the British public into believing that Holmes had above average ’detective skills’. “He had the whole ‘Moriarty’ cover cooked up from the beginning and invented all the crimes”, said Brook. “All I had to do was learn my lines.” Brook, who has known Holmes for decades and until recently considered him to be a close friend, said he was at [...] desperate for the money but later [...] he had no choice but to continue the deception. I didn’t realise what I was getting into until it was too late. I’m not proud of myself, but at least now the world knows the truth about Sherlock Holmes”. In what will no doubt spark a massive internal investigation at Scotland Yard, Holmes has also fooled several high-ranking detectives into believing.

‘Well boy’, Uncle Pumblechook [...]

But a closer look at Kitty’s supposed manuscript reveals that this same text (except for the ‘Uncle’ part) is copy-pasted and repeated again and again – this is indeed fake news! And we never got to know what evidence they actually had on Sherlock, the incriminating facts that ‘only someone close to Sherlock could know’ and that Mycroft supposedly ‘blabbed’ about to Moriarty. What was it about? His drug problems? Youth crimes? Mental health issues?Mythomania? I’m still at a loss to see how these papers could prove that Sherlock was a ‘fake’ who had ‘invented all the crimes’ without further details. The fact that we never get any specifics is extremely suspicious to me; what crimes exactly? Is he supposed to have invented Jennifer Wilson’s murder? Eddie Van Coon? Alex Woodbridge? If the crimes weren’t committed, what had NSY been investigating? Fake bodies? And if Sherlock was suspected of having committed them all, why wasn’t John suspected as an accomplice? It doesn’t make sense...

It strikes me, however, that Kitty’s most juicy bit that she wanted to publish about Sherlock, the one about ‘you and John Watson - just platonic or?’ is no longer mentioned in all this. Not a word about the ‘confirmed bachelors’ anymore - why is that? This is all about Sherlock, not John. I very much agree with @tjlcisthenewsexy here; “Sherlock is a fake” might as well read “They’re gay”...

‘Real’ newspapers

To give a more complete picture of media’s role, I’ve made a quick research about the different newspapers shown in BBC Sherlock; which are they and what do they say? It turns out that most of them actually exist in real life. Below is a short presentation and some of their headlines in the show:

The Daily Express (UK ‘middle market’, conservative tabloid)

“Boy, 18, kills himself inside sports centre.” (ASiP) “Bachelor John Watson” (TRF) “Crime of the century” (TRF) “Moriarty walks free. Shock verdict at Old Bailey trial” (TRF) ”Shag-a-lot Holmes” (HLV)

Going by the insinuations about John’s sexual orientation, this paper is depicted as sensationalist in BBC Sherlock, which there’s also lots of evidence for in real life, in spite of being described as ‘middle market’ (see Wikipedia link above). It has been accused of xenophobia, among other things.

Sunday Express (belongs to The Daily Express. Known for controversies )

“Who wants to be a million-hair” (TBB)

Daily Star (’Redtop’ UK tabloid, known for controversies, same publisher as Daily Express)

“World Exclusive Boffin Sherlock solves another” (TRF) “How was he ever acquitted” (about Moriarty; TRF)

The Daily Mail (British conservative ‘middle-market’ tabloid) REPORTER 3: Yes, but if they are murders, how do people keep themselves safe? LESTRADE: Well, don’t commit suicide. (The reporter looks at him in shock. Donovan covers her mouth and murmurs a warning.) DONOVAN: “Daily Mail.”

The Times (British conservative newspaper; not regarded as ‘tabloid’)

John looks at the article reporting Beth Davenport’s apparent suicide. Next to a large photograph of Beth is a smaller one showing the man who just visited the flat and identifying him as D.I. Lestrade. (ASiP)

The Daily Telegraph (aka The Telegraph. British daily broadsheet newspaper)

Sherlock reading, headline invisible (TBB)

The Sunday Telegraph (owned by The Daily Telegraph)

Sherlock reading, headline invisible. Picture seems to show Connie Prince (TBB)

Daily Mirror (British ‘redtop’ tabloid)

“Tragic Carl died doing what he loved” (Sherlock’s clip; TGG) “7 times a night in Baker Street” (HLV)

The Guardian (British daily newspaper known for liberal or left-wing viewpoints)

“Amateur detective to be called as expert witness. Scotland Yard calls upon ‘nation’s favourite detective’ in Moriarty trail” (TRF) “The case is riddled with irony and intrigue but perhaps reflects a deeper malaise that seems to be at the heart of a society” (TRF) “Shock verdict at trial”(TRF) “Moriarty vanishes” (TRF) “What next for the Reichenbach hero” (TRF) “Lord Smallwood suicide” (HLV)

The Sun (British ‘redtop’ tabloid, many controversies around misogyny, homophobia and Thatcherism)

“Sherlock – the shocking truth” (by Kitty Riley, TRF) ”Sherlock’s a fake! ‘He invented all the crimes’” (unpublished, Kitty Riley, TRF) “Suicide of fake genius” (TRF)

Global CAM News (Invented newspaper, as far as I can see)

“Trepoff ‘Guilty’ Sensation!” (MHR)

The Independent (British newspaper, ‘social-liberal’; since 2016 it only exists online)

John reading, headline invisible (TRF)

When making this list, some of the newspapers reminded me of these lines from Tom Robinson’s satirical song from the seventies (my bolding):

Glad to be Gay (Lyrics) Pictures of naked young women are fun In Titbits and Playboy, page three of The Sun There's no nudes in Gay News, our one magazine But they still find excuses to call it obscene Read how disgusting we are in the press The Telegraph, People and Sunday Express Molesters of children, corruptors of youth It's there in the paper, it must be the truth

Three of these six newspapers and tabloids are figuring in BBC Sherlock, one of them (The Sun) highly contributing to Sherlock’s Fall by carrying false and defamatory news about him. And there’s also this, in the rooftop scene at the end of TRF:

JIM: “Genius detective proved to be a fraud.” I read it in the paper, so it must be true. I love newspapers. Fairytales.

This may be a complete coincidence, of course, but I did find some other possible references to Tom Robinson too, which I described in this meta some time ago.

OK, this is already a monster-post, but just one more little observation:

I know we shouldn’t lend too much credibility to the media, right? But ‘you can’t kill an idea, can you’? Not once it’s made a home in your head... :)

Headline in TSoT: “Potential freezing spell puts funeral directors on red alert”. So, maybe a ‘freezing spell’...

...should put us on ‘red alert’...

...and not ‘bury’ this show entirely just yet? I’ll leave you to your deductions. ;)

@ebaeschnbliah @raggedyblue @sarahthecoat @gosherlocked @sagestreet @tjlcisthenewsexy @221bloodnun @elldotsee @mrskolesouniverse @whimsicalethnographies @sherlocks-salty-blog @fellshish

#Media's role in Sherlock

76 notes · View notes

mylifeatwar · 6 years

Photo

Book 2, Chapter 2, Page 3

Archived Text Follows:

It’s still not midnight in my timezone yet so this page totally counts as being on time! In all seriousness though, Matt had this page done hours ago but I was kind of in the middle of a tattoo session and wasn’t really available to post it. That’s on me, not him

I really love this fucking page by the way, especially the shading in panel 2. There’s also some great foreshadowing here, but I’ll let you folks find it yourselves.

Something that Matt and I were joking about recently was language and accents in the MLaW verse. While the language that Free Marketeers is essentially supposed to be English (though they call it Treadspake) the accent is pretty different. It took me forever to find but here’s an example of what someone with a heavy Free Market accent sounds like to someone who doesn’t speak Treadspake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa-lmcdlq4A&list=FLWEkhqIkBE080OHhK-mC85g&index=1

You can already imagine how that colors most people’s perception of the average Free Marketeer.

Thanks for reading!

– Luther out

Comment Text Follows:

lhsc - Oh ho, Lulu is going to defend her favorite asset. Always bet on the Lulu.

Gillsing - So Free Marketeers aren’t big on enunciation, huh? I guess I’d need to hire a translator to understand them then. Oh. I see what they did there.

Killercow - BOP DAP BOODLY DAP DAU. Also, is lulu like, majorly huge? She looks at least a foot taller than the guy next to her, and she’s taller than Big Al by quite a bit.

plaintextman - Yeah, mista Patenge mentioned it during the long-winded discussion started around chapter 1’s cover: http://www.mylifeatwar.com/?p=26“ Lulubelle merely appears at a normal height because she’s been shown standing next to Captain Theroux, who is a very… very large ogre of a man. We made them this way as a response to the mecha genre being full of diminutive female characters, most often relegated to a non-combat role who spend way too much of their time stating everything they feel.” And MLAW is slowly but surely defying that “softy women” trope more and more (without — so far — overdoing it).

Mr. Patenge - Lulu-Belle (and her friend Missy) are around 6’3″. It’s all those chemicals and hormones in the milk man… also in the soda, the water, the coffee the air, the beer and, for some reason, the toilet paper.

Killercow - I gotta get me some of that toilet paper! Being 6’4 without, I’d probably be a freaky giant!

Iarei - Dat reflection.

Grudgesettler - Fridge with legs versus Lulubelle. Taking all bets, remember the house charges a 15% gratuity from all proceeds. A question, if I may. This one is regarding the competitive nature of the Free Market and their attitudes towards monopolies. From your answer regarding an earlier question about the util, I gather that for the most part, monopolies are disliked. My question is this: what guarantees the continuation of this competition instead of the eventual creation of a series of monopolies? I suspect that the Free Market doesn’t have much in the way of Anti-trust laws. Excellent page. I especially love the perspective shot in the second frame.

Zarpaulus - Three words: Mega-fun food inc. There doesn’t seem to be any evidence that they do a thing to prevent monopolies, real life economic Libertarians don’t so why would fictional ones?

rfaramir - You don’t have to fight monopolies, so long as you have no State which can grant one. So-called “natural monopolies” are rare and not a problem to the free market. Think of a one-of-a-kind mineral mine. Consumers did fine before the mine was discovered, life got better when it’s otherwise-unobtanium made production more efficient, but if the price goes too high, the free market will work at creating alternatives or doing without, going back to previous production modes without the others-unobtainable substance. Potential competition keeps monopolists from charging truly damaging monopoly prices.

Iarei - That simply is not true. You’re drawing an imaginary line in the sand between ‘monopoly’ and ‘dictatorship’ that does not exist. “A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned”. In any hypothetical ungoverned free market, the most powerful monopoly necessarily assumes the role of governance. You’ve heard of ‘company stores’ right? Any barrier to entry for competition that exists under a corrupt government is going to exist in a free market system. The only difference is that the company wouldn’t need to bribe any politicians. A question was raised earlier in this comic – “How can Fizziz stay in business if their product is both foul and poisonous”. If you’ve been paying attention here you should already know the answer.

Killercow - No, it tends to be governments that aid monopolies. In a perfectly free market, in theory, a monopoly can’t hold any power because as soon as the price becomes too dear, another company can come and offer competition at a lower price. These are opportunistic people, who would jump at a chance to undercut a company that was being a little too excessive with their prices for their worth, and without a government to aid in forcing opposition out of business, or breaking strikes and such, monopolies would be much harder to obtain. Not impossible, but extremely difficult. For example, look at the role the security contractors play. On one page it is mentioned that Mega Fun Foods is subsidizing their losses to keep them fighting, and it is mentioned that “Few enough companies can do our job”. While they don’t hold a monopoly, because of the couple of other security companies, which keep them from overcharging, they are a specialized and presumably expensive commodity. They have skills that are rare and useful, and charge more for it. But even those skills are not unique to one company. As for Fizziz, I think that was supposed to be more of a joke than a serious commentary on monopoly, but it may have also been something else, like it has a niche market of… I don’t know, horse pee lovers or something. Or it might be an acquired taste. Or maybe they used to offer good products and now people just blindly buy the brand.

Iarei - Monopolies help themselves, they don’t need a government to do so. All they need is thugs they can pay to shoot anyone not working the line or a sufficiently high barrier to entry. What magic power do you think you have over a monopoly that you don’t have over a government? A working government acts as a check against monopolies. Like, the government that’s literally fighting a monopoly owned mercenary company in this comic? The comic you’re reading? As far as monopolies you might be familiar with go, how about your ISP? If you live in the US I can all but guarantee you you’re overpaying. That’s in a country where the government nominally has legislation intended to prevent monopolies. In this example, it has nothing to do with the government, it has to do with the fact that those companies are better off ripping off the customers in their respective fiefdoms than expanding their infrastructure into areas with competing services with competitive rates. What do you think would happen if your gas, electricity or water were held by a private entity that could set it’s own prices? I’m sure some competing company can come out of nowhere and set up competing utility lines, right? Free market magic, goo! I’m sure you can find your own solution when prices for necessities become to prohibitive, right? Want a drink of water? Hope your rain barrel’s full or you’ll be buying from T. Boone Pickens. Oh no your house is on fire? Don’t worry, Marcus Licinius Crassus is here to help! Someone’s robing your house? Store? Did you pay your protection fund? Oh, and while this is getting beside the point remember that without a government there’s no regulation on things like ‘can that company dump toxic waste in my river’ or ‘can that company sweeten it’s drinks with lead acetate’. Is our governments perfect? Are they even moderately close to good? No, probably not. It still beats the ever living hell out the alternative.

Plaintextman - Remember that regulations like ‘minimum wage’ and ‘standard bread price’ come from governments. These are made to keep monopolies in check, or rather, to effectively grant the common man some power over companies, in turn evening out the concentration of power. However, also true that insane-level OHSA requirements, government-tendered projects to large companies and overtly strict permit regulations are all government-implemented things that can make it hard if not impossible for small players to get in the game, thus supressing competition. So yeah, it’s not really so much a question of whether there is a formal government or not. More a question of how those in power act, for they are the ‘government’. And this is ultimately determined by what kind of rights (formal and de facto) the common man is granted. Do you have the right to shop somewhere else without fear for your life? The right to your own property? Freedom of speech? I love the idea of free markets. They’ve been so successful over the centuries because of that awesome self-correcting mechanism of ‘competition’; just about every city ever had a market place where businesses could offer and compete, much more than can be said of less natural systems like communism. But “total objective freedom” doesn’t really exist, so no market can be truly “free”. Illegal (drug-) industry is example of an ‘anarcho-capitalist free market’ environment that’s also extremely unfriendly to just about everyone except those in power. And the reason why boils down to how uncaring those in power (“government”) are and how little power the common person (consumer) it given: as long as they pay nobody really gives a shit about them. And if they stop paying by say, buying from a cheaper supplier, they might as well die along with that supplier.

motorfirebox - I like the tan lines.

#comic #webcomic #boxing

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tossertozier · 7 years

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the film / movie / miniseries have created multiple versions of canon. i think there are lots of ways to write these characters that can be considered “canonically correct”

This is a post about the relationship between the book and the movie focused on Stan and Richie and then Eddie and Richie and the differences between the two:

what I’m really talking about here is foucault’s theory of the net of power. within it, basically it is to imagine the relationship between two people as if they are standing on a net that is stretched out. if they are relatively evenly sized, then they can maintain a balance. if someone begins to over-reach their place and amass more space on the net than they are allotted, it seems as if they have more power than the other person. in reality, they are still on the same net, and the same playing field. the other person has to allow themselves to believe that their opposite actually has more power than they do. they don’t, but if you believe they do there is very hard to recover from it. within this theory, there is equal power in relationships, because if someone is manipulating a relationship, you have to allow them to.

there are big, overlooked differences between book and movie richie but that’s another post so I’m just gonna talk about similar things for him. richie requires, outright demands, attention. almost constantly. he gets very uncomfortable if he is not in direct attention. it, comically, reminds me of a bo burnham song about the same idea. “have you ever been to a birthday party for children, and one of the children won’t stop screaming. because he’s just a little attention attractor, when he grows up to be comic or actor he’ll be rewarded for never maturing, for never understanding or learning that every day can’t be about him there’s other people, you selfish asshole.” (Now, let me say: richie in the books <and we’ll see in the 2019 film> does in fact grow up. he just, like everyone else upon returning to Derry, begins to revert into his childhood self. he, in particular, finds it horrifying. he admits after making a particularly irritating joke about eddie that he has no idea why he said that and hadn’t thought about it all before it came out of his mouth.) anyway, this need for attention causes his loud mouth & is a hallmark in all of his relationships. but it is most noticeable in his relationship with stan and eddie.

in the book, stan and richie are friends, and teased each other, to the point it would worry their other friends. (Eddie specifically scolds richie for making fun of stans Judaism.) their net of power, so to speak, thrives on the back and forth. Their net operates like a trampoline. They jump in and out of each other’s territories, overstepping and laughing as they do so because the other will just bounce to the other side. richie irritates stan on occasion, but it’s never an issue that can’t be “bounced” back from . stan has some weird hobbies, but he’s clearly someone richie considers to have an equal amount of power to himself & their relationship operates accordingly. it’s similar to how richie sees bill. (an entire other post lol) richie doesn’t regard any of the rest of the losers, except Beverly but in a different way , again, another post) in this way until adulthood.

in the book, eddie believes he is weak. he is fighting the urge to do so as an adult who has moved out of Derry. he believes his body is incapable of fighting disease. when richie oversteps in his relationship with Eddie, eddie lets him. he never fights back in ways that would actually knock richie back into his own side of the net, and instead goes for whining that doesn’t have a lot of weight “stop, richie, I hate it when you do that.” he is much weaker in his relationship with richie, he feels like he doesn’t understand richie, but he tells the reader that regardless, he is glad to have richie around. i (me, reddie trash, about to surprise y'all) don’t necessarily consider the dynamic as children to be inherently romantically-coded. I think eddie (who I consider to be gay) behaves the way he does as a child not because of his own attraction to men, but moreso because he deeply feels the loss of a paternal figure in his life. he craves the attention and approval of the guys in his life he considers to be strong, (specifically bill) and he, while in denial about how he feels about it, will endure a lot to get the attention from richie. their relationship as kids can be read as “richie showing peacock feathers off by picking on the little one and the little one let’s him because he feels special when he does.” I think their thoughts and actions as adults truly bring context into the situation and settle it into classic “pulling on pigtails” actual flirtation. while in Derry, the losers club is perpetually immature. They question their own actions often, and have a very difficult time being honest with themselves. Without eddies death scene and events after, you miss what makes their interactions as children so relevant. which is one of the reasons I prefer the book in a lot of ways. Intermingling the storyline as adults and kids is extremely effective in IT. I genuinely believe that richie did not know his actions were in fact text book flirting until eddie grabs his face and tells him “don’t call me eds” and that that is when the dread of oh god I fucked this up, really set in. Which quickly turns to anger, at IT, yes but at the entire situation, his own immaturity, his own lack of perception. Which leads us To my favorite line of the book, where richie acts overtly violent to an already dead it because he has to leave eddies body in the sewer, and bill asks him “why did you do that” and richie responds “I don’t know,” and the narration tells us “but he knew well enough.” & naysayers will say: one line cannot make an entire relationship romantically coded. And I will say: fuck you, because richie knew well enough & so should you.

and I remain adamant that if Eddie were a girl and no other text changed, the validity of their relationship would not be questioned.

What the film has done, in the sake of time and for clear narrative, is make stan seem as if he feels powerless constantly. stan, in the book, clearly doesn’t. in fact: that’s why he doesn’t return. he was not so much terrified of IT, but terrified of returning to a place where he doesn’t feel as if he has control over the situation. what he really couldn’t handle was being filthy and not knowing where he was. however, that can be really difficult to show in a film. I’d wager that the average audience member could not pick that up unless it was spelled out for them in a narration, which I’m sure they did not want to do. To compromise, they made stan a character who is soft-spoken, and true-cut follower. he is really intolerant of antics, and as such: richie.

in the film, rather than banter back with Richie as he would in the book, he’s really rather avoidant of the relationship, or when richie oversteps. To say they are not friends, or that Stan secretly hates him, I think is a genuinely terrible generalization. However, rather than treat this net of power like something akin to a trampoline, with the two bouncing back and forth, it’s more treated like a basketball court, with a clear line down the center. Stan just does not tolerate any attempt of richies to bounce into his side. It is the sign of an insecure character. stan shuts him down, because if richie made any real attempt that was a grab at stan’s power in their relationship, stan doesn’t know if he’d be able to defend it.

however, this “bouncing” element is really essential for balancing richie out in a clear dynamic, so i believe the relationship was really handed to Eddie. eddie in the film has less so internalized the teachings of his mother, screaming at the barrens about “my MOM,” and it only takes a preteen daughter of a pharmacist to persuade him about his medication. whereas, in the book, a doctor sits him down to explain and he still relentlessly believes in his mother. he leaves, and attempts to rationalize it himself & so weakly comes to terms with the idea of placebos that he keeps taking the medication in a deal with his mother that allows him to see his friends. eddie, in the film, simply tells her they’re bullshit and leaves to see them whether she likes it or not. eddie in the film, SO MUCH more so than the book, recognizes his own power in relationships. this is with both his mother and richie. he very rarely lets richie put the last card out, but unlike movie!stan, he lets richie play the game.

while it is a common complaint that stans character traits were given to eddie, i think it can also be said that eddies character traits were given to stan. a lot of eddies character in the book is built around the idea of fragility, & disbelief in himself. it is monumentous in the book when eddie goes after the eye with his own inhaler and proceeds to stomp on it, because it was the first time eddie really had any belief in his own power. in the film, I’d say eddie already has a better relationship with himself. he willingly goes into the neibolt house, he is the first to follow bill down the well, and he seems to consider himself responsible for keeping the group together. he is the one who notices and runs to find stan, and when bill goes missing as well. in the book, it is said that eddie knows, is the only one to, how to navigate the sewers. he merely gives these directions to bill, and follows closely behind him. in fact, in the book, the role of “keeping the group together” was overwhelmingly richie. (one of the few times richie truly panics in the sewers is when they are crawling through a tunnel and eddie can only do it so quickly with a broken arm and bill crawls too far ahead, away from the group.) eddie in the film is small and asthmatic, but he believes himself to be a powerful person, in his relationships and in himself, so he is. stan is insecure in his relationships, “you left me here, you’re not my friends” is the most adamantly avoidant of the entire situation, “this isn’t fun, this is scary and disgusting” “no! no next time, bill,” and is very pessimistic. i think this was all done so that when he kills himself it doesn’t feel entirely out of left field. it makes his movie self, and eddie as well, i think, less complex, but it also makes them more comprehensible in a 2 hour film. For context to how little time that really is, there will be four hours of IT film altogether. If you listen to IT the audiobook aloud, it is 44 hours long.

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kitten1618x · 7 years

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GoT Afterthoughts 7x04 The Spoils Of War (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Ugh ...so much drama with the leaking of this episode. It was extremely hard to keep myself unspoiled, but I managed (mostly). I know a lot of you have been waiting for this recap, so let's get down to business .....

Wow. This episode felt so rushed! For the life of me, I will never understand D&D's logic for cutting this season and the next short, for all the content they need to cram into them.

So, with that being said, we start this weeks episode off in High Garden (or is it Highgarden?). The Lannister and Tarly soldiers have cleaned out High Garden's riches and food supply and have a caravan headed back to Kings Landing. Jamie gives Bronn his big bag of gold because "a Lannister always pays his debts" but Bronn still wants his castle. lol After poking fun at Jamie's sour mood despite their victory, Bronn goes with Lord Tarly and Dickon to assist in getting the rest of the harvest. Winter is here, and food is needed.

Side note: I love Bronn. Jamie and Tyrion should totally adopt him when this is all over.

Back in Kings Landing, Cersei is again meeting with the Iron Bank dude, who's happy to continue supporting her ventures, as long as they get their money. She assures him his gold is on the way.

We head to Winterfell (yay!) where LF is busy being fucking creepy, as usual. He gives Bran the dagger that the cutthroat tried to use to assassinate him in the first season. He proceeds to blow smoke up Bran's ass about how he will always protect Cat's children and blah blah blah, sweet Jesus Petyr, we are tired of hearing the same lame shit come out of your mouth! (at least, I am). He tells Bran it's the dagger that essentially started the war of the 5 Kings and that in a way, it made him what he is today.

Some very interesting things I gleaned from this scene:

When Bran asks him if he knows who it belonged to -I believe this was a rhetorical question. I think Bran knows exactly who it belonged to.

LF is shook when he says the word chaos and Bran claps back with "chaos is a ladder." Mmhmm.

That is the weapon LF will die by. Without a doubt. (and it's sweet poetic justice).

"I'm not Lord Stark" -another reminder that Sansa is the heir to Winterfell, as Bran will probably slip further into his 3ER role until that's all he is and Bran no longer exists.

Meera interrupts. She wants to go home and see her family before the Others come. Meera is hurt by how cold and distant Bran is after all she sacrificed for him, and Bran confirms what I said last week -he's NOT Bran anymore. The more he hones his powers, the more the parts of him that are Bran will disappear -which is why he's so void of emotions. It's not trauma (although he's been through and seen some pretty traumatic shit), it's just the part of him that was Bran is literally dying as the 3ER takes over.

And Arya is home!!!!! Omg omg omg!!!

What is it with poor Arya and gate guards keeping her out? Okay, just seeing Arya's face as she glances around Winterfell and looks at the banner -it made me so emotional, my husband laughed at me. He's a dick, what can I say?

The guards let Sansa know about the girl at the gate, and how she's gone now, and once Sansa hears who the girl asked for, she knows it's really Arya and exactly where to find her. She heads to the crypts and there's Arya in front of Ned's statue.

This was a beautiful reunion! I know it wasn't nearly as emotional as Sansa and Jon's -and frankly, I don't think any of them are going to be, and I believe that's intentional, but for the Stark sisters -it suited them, and who they are, and who they've become. There's no hate or animosity here ...they even tease each other a bit, and it's just so lovely and ashgdhjxugyfkcufyskfjcjcaa I AM SO EMOTIONAL!!!!! And we got not just one hug, but two!!! TWO!!!! I said before that D&D had better make this reunion worth while, and for me, they delivered. I love how Arya said that their stories aren't over yet.

A few things that stood out to me in this scene:

Arya telling Sansa that being Lady Stark suited her. I'm not sure this is foreshadowing or just Arya giving her sister some kudos. Either way, it warmed my heart.

Sansa bringing up Jon, and not only how excited he was about her reunion, but how thrilled he'll be to see Arya too -this served two purposes: Sansa again, bringing up Jon at a time she feels vulnerable/safe, and at the same time validating Arya and how important she is to Jon.

Arya mentions her kill list, and Sansa thinks she's joking.

Sansa tells Arya that Bran is home too, and we head out into the Godswood. No matter how unemotional Bran is, it's beautiful to see my Starklings all together in one place again! ❤️ My heart literally grew three times its size!

After a brief hug, Bran tells Arya that he saw her at the crossroads and that he thought she'd go to Kings Landing. Sansa offers that Bran has visions now, and Bran says that Cersei is on her list of names. The look on Sansa's face puzzled me for a minute -because she looks a bit worried, but then she kind of smirks a bit when she asks Arya who else is on her list. Now, I think that the writers want us to think that Sansa suspects she *might* be on that list, but I'm telling you now that's utter bullshit. Lady Stark has taken over her new role in every aspect and that includes mothering her two younger siblings. I believe her look comes more from a parental place of worrying, and I bet the next few episodes will prove me right -ahem, did I not call the whole Bran is no longer Bran thing last week? Thank you.

As Bran pulls out the dagger and gives it to Arya, this only further confirms my feelings. Immediately, Sansa is suspicious. Why? Because she knows LF better than anyone, and she knows he doesn't do anything that won't benefit himself. I suspect she is both worried for her siblings, and thinks LF is trying to sway Bran into taking the Lordship so that he can ask for Sansa's hand in marriage while Jon's away. It's the only thing that makes sense to me in regards to LF visiting Bran earlier in the episode. I also think this is all more fodder for fake ass Starkbowl too -to confuse the viewers.

Some things that stood out in this scene:

Bran gives the dagger to Arya. Arya is going to be the one who kills LF -Bran knows, he's seen it, and that's why he gives the dagger to her.

My heart -when he says it's wasted on a cripple and Sansa looks down sadly.

Okay, our Starklings are headed back within Winterfell, and OMG my heart is exploding! And Brienne's heart, too! Podrick tells her she kept her vow to Catelyn and she should be proud, and you can tell that she's not used to being complimented. As usual, LF is creeping in the shadows like the human embodiment of a bloodsucking tick.

Another side note: Podrick is also a precious dewdrop! Put him in the same category with Davos.

Now we're at Dragonstone ..dun dun dunnn. Sigh, well come on, let's get it over with. We start this scene with Missandei insinuating that GW kissed the kitty and Jon interrupts them from below to bring Dany into a cave. Well, how clever. *eyeroll* I mean, you seriously have to laugh at that.

Jon wants to show Dany the dragon glass before they begin mining it, and it is quite lovely. Jon tells her he wants to show her something else, and the two of them head farther into the cave alone. Cramped quarters, and Dany seems winded from the walk up, because she's literally panting. Wtf??

Maybe the airs really thin?

Jon explains that the hieroglyphics on the walls are from the Children of the forest, and Dany seems awed to be standing in the same place. She passes the torch by some stick figures resembling the Children and the first men, and Jon narrates how they fought together against the common enemy, as her torch falls on the drawings of the WW's.

Ummm ........ no?

I mean, I'm pretty sure the Children made them to kill the first men originally, right? But Jon doesn't know that, and he needs Dany on his side, so go ahead and improvise Jonny baby. 😉

Now, I'm assuming that this scene was meant to be romantic because of the sudden romantic music playing in the background and the open stares between them in the soft torchlight. Kit's doing that soft half puppy/half fuck me stare, as Dany sashays slowly towards him.

"I will fight for you. I will fight for the north. When you bend the knee."

Annnnnnd there goes Jon's erection. If he had one ... hahahahah! He tells her again that he can't, and then Dany drops the BIGGEST hypocrite bomb EVER - "aren't his people more important than his pride?" Really? No seriously, REALLY? Who's prideful here? Someone get that girl a mirror because she has some serious soul searching to do!

But here's the thing -I went into this scene expecting to be beat over the head with romance tropes and vibes (according to what I've seen you all post over the last few days) and I truly didn't see/feel it. It's not that I didn't want to ... I was really actually trying to, but I felt more like they were once again trying to show us a juxtaposition on who these two people really are.

They emerge from the cave and Tyrion and Varys have good and bad news -they've got Casterly Rock ...but not really. Naturally, Dany is pissed. She demands that Jon and Davos remain while she has her tantrum. She implies that Tyrion is working against her, then gazing ominously out to sea at her Dragons says she's going to fly them to the Red Keep. When Tyrion advises her against it, she asks Jon's opinion. He doesn't want to be involved but she insists.

Jon gives her really good advice, actually. He tells her to BE DIFFERENT. He tells her to be what her people think she is, and not just more of the same shit they're used to. He tells her not to use her Dragons.

Now we're back to Winterfell and Brienne is training Podrick again. Where's Brienne's cheerleader, Tormund? I half expected him to pop out from behind a wagon with heart eyes. lol Arya wants to train with Brienne -she obviously admires her, and I ship them -my new brotp. 😍

They quick shoot up to Sansa and LF on the battlements and the grain is brought up again. Food is a big theme in this episode, as it's mentioned in the beginning with Jamie, Dany also mentions feeding her army during her tantrum, and now Sansa, too.

She stops in mid sentence to watch what's unfolding below with Arya and Brienne. She gets a worried look and side eyes LF when Arya mentions Brienne swore to serve both of Cat's daughters (again, more writers bait to instill fake mistrust between the sisters -it's more likely that Sansa mistrusts LF and what's currently motivating him).

This fight scene is AMAZING! Two strong, beautiful women -individually talented in their own ways ...this is the shit I live for!!! Arya looks and moves strikingly like Jon (before he took on Ned's persona) -(wo)man bun and all!

Again, Sansa with her odd looks, and her side-eyeing of LF ...they are laying it on thick.

Also, Gendry better watch out -Podrick's got some serious heart eyes for Arya.

We head back to Dragonstone, and Davos and Jon are strolling the grounds (aren't you supposed to be mining, mofo???). Again, I'm going to break away from everyone on the romance vibes here -I think that Davos is being facetious. When he asks Jon what he thinks of Dany, he never tells us what he feels, and when Jon says "she has a good heart", Davis replies with "yeah, I've noticed you've been staring at her good heart", implying that Jon's been looking at her tits. Where's the romance in that? That's not love -that's physical attraction. Let's not mix the two just yet.

Jon immediately rebuffs Davos with -"There's no time for that" the convo switches gears to the NK and how many men they've got up north. And then Davos jumps back to "good hearts" deliberately and LOUDLY, as they approach Missandei. This seems odd to me ... I've already speculated that Jon may go undercover lover on Dany as he did to Ygritte, and many have disagreed with me -but I kind of feel like that might be what they are setting up here ...

Missandei greets them "Ser Davos, Lord Snow" -and immediately Davos puts the brakes on that shit, "it's King Snow, or is it King Jon?" (I love Davos). We go over the concept of bastard, which leads to how Missandei got to be an advisor to Dany. And here again, I feel is another play on words to show how distrustful of Dany both Jon and Davos are (yet managed to fool everyone into thinking it's ringing romance bells and trying to convince Jon how precious the D is) -Davos reminds her that she's still "serving" Dany (reminiscent of what the Masters in Meereen said to GW) as to which Missandei replies that she does it freely. Jon is skeptical (and really, so am I) and asks if she wanted to leave and sail home to Narth tomorrow ...? Missandei is insistent that Dany would drop her on a boat and wish her good fortune.

Jon (still skeptical): "you believe that?"

Ohhh, he struck a nerve. Missandei very passionately declares "she knows it" and says that all who followed her (Dany) from Essos followed her because they believe in Dany and chose her as queen (ya know, except for those who didn't). Davos says "would you forgive me if I switch sides?" And again, I can't help thinking how deliberate that line is -Davos is smart and he's a good talker (as shown throughout the entire series), and I really feel like he's playing them. I could be wrong, but my gut is really just telling me that something is off here.

Ahhh, and the scene I've been waiting for that conveniently comes after all this fake Dany romance BS -a Greyjoy ship is spotted just off the coast! Props to both my boys here, because they played up the tension and emotional angst nicely. Jon moves forward slowly, and then Theon too.

T: Sansa ....she alright?

The minute her name is on Theon's lips, Jon's chest begins to heave and he lunges forward and grabs Theon by the front of his shirt, vehemently stating that "what you did for her is the only reason I'm not killing you."

WOOT WOOT the murder kitten strikes again! Kit is sooooo good with these emotional facial scenes, my God! Do any of you really doubt this ship????

Jon is fucking in love with Sansa -it is so clearly evident that when he realizes his Starkcest is showing, he abruptly releases Theon, and shoves him away -just in time to zoom in on Davos, and guys -HE KNOWS! DAVOS KNOWS!!!

He (Davos) cleverly shifts the subject to Theon's fleet and Yara. Euron's got her. Theon asks where Dany is and they inform him she's not there.

We jump back over to Jamie and his troops. They are finishing gathering up the harvest (food again) and Lord Tarly suggests flogging any slackers. Jamie is against this -the writers emphasizing yet again that he's a good man/leader -which is emphasized FURTHER when he chats with Dickon about his feelings on his first battle. Dickon admits it was hard killing people he literally grew up with, and Jamie shows empathy -"they didn't deserve to die, but Lady Olenna decided to support the Targaryen girl, so here we are". Jamie may have been a great warrior, but he despises killing innocents, and in essence, that's what a lot of these soldiers are -men forced to fight for the ones who rule them, with really no say in the matter. The scene with Arya and the Lannister soldier boys makes so much more sense now.

A side note: Bronn literally laughed out loud at Dickon's name! lmao

Bronn and Jamie hear hoofbeats, the Dothraki army is coming, and sure enough, Dany's leading them on Drogon. Now, I've seen people's thoughts on this scene floating around Tumblr for days (TAG YOUR SPOILERS lol), but I was NOT prepared for how visually horrifying it truly was.

Another very important side note: the Khaleesi theme song that's usually played for most of Dany's inspiring scenes, has been given a VERY ominous twist. Go back and listen. It's an important detail that many of you might have missed. 😉

The Lannister army scrambles to make a barrier of shields and Dany literally blows them away, ordering Drogon to dracarys the shit out of them. The Dothraki break through, and while they're keeping the soldiers busy, Dany rides Drogon up the wagon line, literally torching all the wagons filled with food! WTF??

They have the giant crossbow with them, and Jamie tells Bronn he has to wield it, because you need two hands. Probably thinking that he doesn't get paid well enough for this bullshit, Bronn races for the weapon, but a Dothraki develops a hard-on for him and gives chase through the burning camp. Bronn loses his horse and his gold, but makes it to the weapon. Finally riding himself of his Dothraki admirer, he searches the smoke filled sky for Drogon, as Tyrion looks down at the carnage from an overlooking cliff. He has what I perceive to be a regretfully sad/shocked face, as equally sad music plays in the background. The Dothraki warrior beside him comments that "his people can't fight".

They zoom in on Jamie watching the soldiers around him burning to death, and then Drogon reappears and is headed straight for him. He yells for his men to take cover, as Bronn releases an arrow and just barely misses the dragon. He reloads, as Dany zeroes in on him, ordering dracarys as Bronn lets the next arrow fly and it hits Drogon under the wing, I think? Drogon is injured, but recovers just in time to stop in front of the weapon and bathe him in fire, as Bronn dives out of harms way.

Drogon lands and smashes the weapon with his tail, and Dany dismounts to pull the spear from him. Jamie sees an opportunity to take Dany out, and like a gallant knight, races towards her, while Tyrion watches from the cliff, pleading for him not to do it. NOT because he cares about Dany -no, his fear is all for his brother here, I'm sure of it.

Unfortunately, Dani and Drogon see him before he gets close enough, and dracarys again -but Bronn leaps out and knocks Jamie off his horse and they both fall into the water and sink below the surface.

The episode ends with Jamie in heavy armor, sinking like a rock to the bottom of the lake.

No guys, Jamie is not dead. Bronn isn't wearing heavy armor and Bronn will save him. I promise. Jamie's story isn't over yet -he's got a very important role to play in the coming battle ....

A few things to point out that should have been glaringly obvious:

Dany didn't take Jon's advice. If any of you have any doubts on dark!dany, you can toss them out the window -this episode was in NO WAY intent upon bathing her in a good light.

Tyrion is going to jump sides really soon -and probably Varys, too.

Dany just burned most -if not ALL of the harvest, and now we understand the emphasis on food this episode, and the parallel of Sansa who, ya know -actually gives a fuck about feeding her people.

I have more thoughts on this episode that I'll share tomorrow, but I know you've all been waiting for this a long time. What can I say? I'm thorough, I'm sorry! Thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you next week with more GoT Afterthoughts.

#got afterthoughts #got recap #got season 7 spoilers #SPOILERS #jonsa

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marginalgloss · 7 years

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the belly of an architect

When The Beginner’s Guide was released in late 2015, there was a sense that the current lexicon of video game writing was somehow inadequate to properly describe it. Here was something that was entirely in keeping with every trend in indie games: it was personal, political, metafictional; it was witty and ironic, in the highest sense of those terms; it was a game about games, and it was a game about people. It was also funny, visually inventive, and above all it felt like something genuinely new. It was received with good reviews, tempered with caution. Even players who were affected by it seemed to hold it at arm’s length. Much like the sight of somebody having an emotional breakdown in public, the implication was that it was powered by something that was somehow beyond criticism.

The game had a certain amount in common with The Stanley Parable, the previous work by creator Davey Wreden. Both games are told from the first-person perspective with 3D graphics, and place a very limited range of interactions at the player’s disposal. There is not much to do in these games; you wander alone through a world while an unseen narrator comments on what you’re doing and what you are looking at. Indeed, The Beginner’s Guide is even more limited in this respect than The Stanley Parable — there are none of the alternative paths, hidden endings and secrets that many players found so endearing in the latter title. But both games are full of jokes about the absurdities of game design, and in spite of their sometimes acerbic tone, both are made with a rich empathy for players and designers alike.

Where things differ is in the uneasy relationship of The Beginner’s Guide to reality. It purports to be a set of unfinished games originally created by somebody called Coda. (This requires some suspension of disbelief: we know from the credits that a small team of other people worked on this game as well, but within the fiction of the game, they might as well not exist.)

The story goes that Wreden has spliced fragments of Coda’s creations together into a semi-coherent experience in the hope of demonstrating the work of his talented friend. As the player moves through Coda’s worlds, Davey’s voice is their tour guide. His explanations provide a ‘story’ to what otherwise might seem a totally abstract set of design decisions. But Davey is more than a narrator: he’s the architect of the entire experience, warping the player from one section to the next, and often interfering directly with Coda’s work in order to make it possible to play.

This question of possibility is key to understanding The Beginner’s Guide. For Davey, everything in life seems possible, or can be made so; for Coda, it’s the opposite. Coda was, we are told, a socially awkward person. To borrow a phrase from Sarah Baume, he is ‘not the kind of person who is able to do things’. Yet Coda’s levels seem quite straightforward at first. He dabbles with a map for Counterstrike, and a science fiction thing that almost feels like the start of a ‘real’ game. But even in those early examples, his work demonstrates a tendency to add inexplicable elements which interrupt the experience entirely.

A bizarre bug in the sci fi game means that if the player walks into a laser beam — which they have to do in the absence of other options, even though they know it’ll kill them — they actually end up floating slowly through the ceiling, and then up and out of the map, so that the whole of the crafted space is visible to them. Is this a sort of expressionism, or is it simply a mistake? Why would somebody put something like that in a game? What were they trying to tell us?

The basic situation between Davey and Coda is emblematic of a certain tension present in the way we think about games today. On one side, we have the idea of games as personal expression: the idea that in a game one might be able to turn one’s own experiences into a kind of machine for empathy. On the other, there’s the notion that games don’t need to be ‘about’ anything except their own mechanics: that they should be accessible and rewarding and coherent and, you know, fun. The Beginner’s Guide is an attempt to resolve this tension -- both within a creator’s work, and their life. Is it possible to make a game which is complete, rational and enjoyable, when none of those things are true of life?

The personal approach is Coda’s modus operandi, but his games aren’t expressive in any kind of straightforward way. At times, they have all the cold unreality of conceptual art. And it’s hard to tell how they might be encountered in isolation, since as it stands, they can only be appreciated alongside the insight that Davey provides into their methodology. He’s like the curator of an exhibition who creates an experience by placing one work alongside another, by colouring the backdrop, by writing the cue cards. At every stage we are told what to think about we are seeing. And like any good critic, Davey isn’t hesitant to root around in the guts of Coda’s work if it means he can get his point across better.

(considerable spoilers to follow.)

Davey finds a lot of things to show that were never meant to be seen at all. A distinguishing feature of video games is that a great deal of extra craft can be present in the work itself, but also be totally invisible to the audience, even though it represents a deliberate artistic gesture. Imagine a writer who encoded whole extra passages in a novel by sealing them up within the endpapers: the equivalent of this comes early on in The Beginner’s Guide when Davey strips away the walls of an innocuous hallway to reveal a vast network of interconnected passages floating in the void; an entire hidden labyrinth, forever unreachable by the player.

This is emblematic of the eternal problem for Davey. Coda’s games were never intended to be ‘played’ in the commonly understood sense. Coda created a staircase that would slow the player’s movement speed in proportion to their progress along it, making it almost impossible to ever reach the top. He built a cell within a huge, elaborate prison, where the player had to spend hours and hours in real time before they would be allowed to proceed. In one of his more detailed creations, Coda made a little house in which the player can only repeat a cycle of tedious domestic chores while a nameless companion provides a stream of inanely optimistic chatter. Davey allows the player a taste of all these, but he cuts them short too. For him, the work cannot be allowed to speak for itself: context is king. And who else is there to provide context but Davey?

Over time, Davey begins to build up a portrait of Coda in the player’s mind. These are the creations of a person who is anxious and depressed. This is the work of someone who is subject to a kind of creative paralysis; a sense of crippling inertia which sees him repeating the same small, obsessive routines that have damaged his personal life. In Davey’s version of their relationship, Davey himself only exists as a helpful counterpoint. He tells the player how he encouraged Coda to share his work, and to make it more accessible to a wider audience by toning down some of the more difficult aspects. And eventually, Coda’s creations begin to take on a different shape. Davey is delighted to point out when a clearly defined end point appears in the levels, marked by an old-fashioned lamp post.

But at the same time, things seem to be progressing towards a very uncertain place. In this sense, the ending of The Beginner’s Guide has a certain shape to it reminiscent of Gone Home. Players approach both having worked through a great deal of dark subject matter, much of which suggests that something horrifying might be around the final corner. But instead, the game has one final curveball to throw.

The last world Coda shared with Davey was his most impressive, and his most demanding. An enormous tower that stretches upwards through endless dark space. To approach it, the player has to make it through a maze with invisible walls: touching any wall means death. And even if they manage to get through this, there’s a locked door where the switch is on the other side of the door — it’s simply impossible to open. (As ever, Davey is on hand to warp the player past both of these obstacles, if they choose.)

Once the player has passed through every one of Coda’s impossible challenges, they find a gallery, with a series of messages on the walls.

‘Would you stop taking my games and showing them to people against my wishes?’

‘Would you stop changing my games? Stop adding lamp posts to them?’

‘The fact that you think I am frustrated or broken says more about you than about me.’

This, then, is the real story of The Beginner’s Guide. It is a confession of sorts: Davey’s interference with Coda’s work has gone beyond packaging it in an accessible way. He’s adopted it entirely. And as Davey explains, in a rare moment of honesty, he’s come to directly identify with certain aspects of it. Coda’s worlds express something that Davey’s conventional persona cannot talk about. And Davey wanted to share them with the world because the ensuing admiration made him feel valued; but in doing so, he may have destroyed something essential about them.

Perhaps Coda wasn’t a depressed person after all. His messages to Davey seem to suggest as much; or as Davey puts it: ‘Maybe he just likes making prisons’. Depression and anxiety are not generally conducive to creativity, and Coda was nothing if not creative.

But we aren’t quite at the end of the game.

The final sequence is an epilogue. It’s the only part of the game which isn’t framed as Coda’s work.

A train station leads to a windowless train carriage. The train leads to a station outside a stately home, the lofty rooms filled empty but for heaps of sand. More caves, more columns of dark and light. Then we are out into a little empty abstract space of bright yellows and blue skies, a visual tone not dissimilar to Coda’s first map for Counterstrike. And then down a little hole in the ground and we’re in that space ship again from the start of the game. Here again is that laser beam, so strangely broken; what do you think will happen if the player walks into it?

Davey is talking again, but this time from the heart. He’s no longer interpreting, nor commenting on the environment: he’s just telling us how he feels. It’s refreshing, and true. In this moment, what we have suspected all along comes to pass: Davey and Coda have become one and the same.

It’s to the game’s credit that a player might feel uncomfortable at this stage, as though they had accidentally wandered into a personal conflict between two old friends. But nothing happens by accident here, no more than it does in any other video game. The question of whether or not Coda ought to be considered a ‘real person’, so often raised around the release of The Beginner’s Guide, is not without interest; but not for the reasons many people thought. In the reality of the game, Coda is no more or less fictional than Davey Wreden.

The world was always Davey’s, in every sense. Perhaps Coda was only ever a part of him: one that he originally believed he could hold at an arm’s length, but which he eventually comes to embrace. By the time we reach the end, he’s absorbed Coda’s lessons and moved beyond them. He knows that the home is a prison, and that the prison is the maze, and that the maze is a the world. He’s realised that it might be possible to create a thing which is both an entertaining experience and a valid means of personal expression, without necessarily telling the player how to feel about it at every juncture. In other words, he’s ready to create something that looks a lot like The Beginner’s Guide.

#gaming #the beginner's guide #the stanley parable

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jeromebass · 3 years

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King Of Beers

Beer Near Me Once you were born and raised in Belgium, like I was, passion for beer is really a given. Make that the birth right. Essential, even. So imagine my parents' dismay once i announced in the age of 18 i didn't take care of beer. They cried. They yelled. They threatened to disown me. They attempted to make me view a shrink. All to no avail. I possibly could n't understand for that duration of me why anyone so want to drink fermented barley juice. What's the fun for the reason that, when you're able to have a very Mojito instead? Or perhaps a Piña Colada? Beer, in my opinion, only agreed to be a foul-tasting beverage which i would only determine that I'm stuck inside the Mojave desert for 3 weeks straight. And only if your beer was frosty.

So for a long time, I became at the receiving end from the joke every time my friends involved drinking. While they were having beers with exotic names like Westmalle, Chimay and Herkenrode Triple, I had been ordering chocolate milk. About the rocks. Which has a straw, please. Hilarity ensued.

During my late 20's, I met a Canadian couple surviving in Brussels. They loved Belgian beers, being particularly fond of trappists and abbey beers. I didnrrrt have it. Weren't those beers for those who have senior cards?

bar food near me After hearing them rant and rave about my country's biggest export product after chocolate, my curiosity got the higher of me. I went along to out and acquired one bottle of the beer I'd ever seen them drink and took them home. For an additional two weeks roughly, I sampled. I vowed to keep an objective balance. And honesty compels me to admit that I was pleased usually.

Without further ado, allow me to introduce for you, several of Belgian's finest.

Orval The 1st out there is often a trappist beer. Currently there are only 8 trappist beers on the planet, 7 ones are Belgian. That one was an acquired taste for me, probably due to its complex flavor. At bottling, brettanomyces yeast (a local wild yeast) is added, which, combined with the dry-hopping method, gives this beer its unique flavor. I ran across it to be unusually crisp for any trappist, but it might take several sampling sessions that you can arrived at exactly the same conclusion. Persistance is vital, I guarantee that you won't be disappointed.

Like all trappist plus some abbey beers, the Orval monastery only keeps part of the proceeds to ensure their survival, the remainder of the money goes to charity. (The next occasion your sweetheart complains about yourself heading out drinking along with your buddies too often, you can honestly say, "But honey... it's for charity!"

Westvleteren Another trappist beer, this beer was named"Best Beer within the World" by RateBeer.com and a slew of other beer related websites.

I am not sure Certainly.

Don't get me wrong, this beer is not short of amazing, however the not enough availability is a bit of a celebration pooper to me. The thing is that, this beer isn't accessible in any stores. Naah, that might be too easy. The monks with the Saint Sixtus monastery impulse money to charity, like Orval does. They just want to brew and then sell enough beer to get by. Consequently, their beer are only able to be purchased by calling the beer hotline (I kid you do not). You provide your license plate and arrange to start a date and time on what you are able to get your brewskis.

I could hear you thinking, no huge problem, I'll just order a few cases. Wrong. You'll be able to only order one case a month. In case you are lucky, you are able to sometimes order two, based on the sort of beer and for the way busy the monks are already doing other trivial things, like praying and stuff. Plus, when it comes to communication, the Saint Sixtus abbey hasn't quite made it into the Twenty-first century as of this time. No email, no cell phones, no Blackberries. They simply have one phone line and, to provide insult to injury, no call waiting. While i called these phones obtain a case, I needed to try a staggering 159 times before I didn't have the busy signal and got through.

(For a while, there is talk of the monastery commercializing their beer and rendering it available in one among Belgium's biggest food store chains. The monks were in dire need of money to the renovation of various of the buildings. Unfortunately the deal fell through.)

No surprise then that Westvleteren beers are a hot commodity on eBay. I have seen people ask around $200 for any 6-pack. Insanity. Especially in light of the items I'm about to inform you of the subsequent beer in the list.

Saint Bernardus Right after WWII ended, the monks at the Saint Sixtus monastery chose to outsource the brewing with their Westvleteren beer to another brewery later on. For pretty much 46 years, the Saint Bernardus brewery brewed what was then referred to as St Sixtus beer, pursuing the original Westvleteren recipe. In 1992 this agreement ended as a result of decision from the trappist breweries that a beer could basically be sold being a "trappist" whether or not this was brewed inside the walls in the monastery.

Because the agreement ended, the St Bernardus brewery has continued to make their unique beer, which is virtually comparable to Westvleteren. Both breweries work with a different strand of yeast, which results in a subtle taste difference, only noticeable to the most trained of palates.

The good news? This beer is available in stores nationwide. Which is, if you are fortunate enough to reside in Belgium.

Lambic Lambic is a kind of beer by having an old tradition, finding comfort the 16th century. Unlike most other beers that are fermented with the help of yeast, lambic will be the product of natural fermentation. It really is encountered with a form of bacteria which reaches just seen in a specific area surrounding Brussels. Lambic carries a very distinctive flavor and aftertaste, which can be quite sour.

Lambic comes in many different kinds: the unblended kind, Geuze and Faro (that is much sweeter because of the added brown sugar). It is usually utilized as the base for most fruit-flavored beers like Kriek (with cherries), Framboise (with raspberries), Pêche (with peach) and many others. Often, these fruit-flavored beers are known as "girly beers".

Duvel Duvel is Flemish slang for the Dutch word "duivel", meaning devil. Make no mistake about it, this ale is unquestionably worthy of its name. I've seen grown men cry following 4 of such.

The problem with Duvel is that it's deceptively easy to drink. It is going on the hatch like water but an alcohol content of 8.5%, this beer isn't to get taken lightly. Don't let that be a reason never to make this happen intense, aromatic beer though, as it's quite delightful. (Just don't say Some warn you.)

Kwak I've added this beer for the list due to the fact of the company's original glass, as an alternative to its taste. Legend has it the glass and its holder specified for during the Nineteenth century by Paulus Kwak, the brewer and who owns a tavern, called De Hoorn (The Horn). The tavern was frequented by coach men who weren't allowed to leave coach and horse behind, so Kwak designed the holder therefore it could be hung in the coach.

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