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utilitycaster · 6 months

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(this is tagged for it as well, but putting it here: the below involves some non-graphic mention/discussion of suicide in relation to episode 3x78)

I think it's important to keep in mind, regarding the most recent episode, that while Ashton's behavior was extremely dangerous and reckless, it was not suicidal in intent. Ashton thought it would work. They thought that they would fix things, and they ignored all the smart people warning them against it because it would imply a lot of negative things about their parents. That doesn't mean it wasn't an action taken out of a certain lack of self-regard (Ashton's realization of this is what drives much of his conversations in the first half of the episode); but it's much more akin to an accidental overdose, or a drunk/reckless driving, or other dangerous choices. It feels very true to the idea of punk that Taliesin is going for, in which dying young is always very much a possibility, even perhaps an expectation; but not necessarily a goal. Ashton did not expect taking the shard to result in their death, and is incredibly shaken specifically because it did.

With that in mind I think the party's reactions seem very real and very understandable. The fact is, when someone does something very risky and nearly dies (or even is briefly clinically dead, using real-world terms) but ultimately survives it's extremely normal for one of the emotional responses to be anger that they put themselves in such danger. It is not, perhaps, rational, but most emotions aren't. It hurts a lot when someone one is close to does something that harmful to themselves. I don't judge the other members of Bells Hells for expressing those feelings. Frankly, them not expressing similar feelings in the past might very well be why Ashton made the decisions he did: the party lacking trust and walking on eggshells around each other is why he didn't confide in them, and why they fell apart so completely here.

I think it's relevant that Chetney tells Fearne, after stating he likes Ashton, that either she or Ashton can talk to him if they "want out", and he pretty heavily implies that this indicates not just leaving Bells Hells, but suicide, and that he has considered the latter in the past. It's clear that initially Chetney considers that a possible reason for Ashton's actions. He then gives Ashton the "You should leave" speech only after everyone present has been talking at dinner, after Ashton has indicated that he will help find Laudna. It only comes out after Ashton's emotional state is made more clear to him: it's pretty bad, but not actively at risk of self-harm (and indeed, desperately trying to avoid it and to change).

Finally, it's worth considering how important anger is to Ashton. Obviously I don't think having Imogen, FCG, and Chetney yell at them feels good. I also think it's going to feel better than apathy, and more honest than any other option. I don't think a forced gentleness would be better; in fact it might be worse, with them taking a break because clearly Ashton is having a hard time and needs to recover (shades of how Marisha mentioned Laudna feeling like a burden following her resurrection), rather than "we are clearly all in disarray and all have been not dealing with a lot of emotions, and this could have been any of us, and we should all regroup." I mentioned before that ultimately what's important is, angry as they are, Bells Hells undeniably stayed, and FCG and Imogen at least made it clear early on that they would, even if they were angry. Ashton was abandoned in the past by people who weren't even angry, is the thing. I don't think they cared enough to be.

#tw suicide #let me know if you need other tags.#critical role spoilers #critical role #ashton greymoore #truly the flat out stated similarities between ashton and fcg and some people's responses have been. unfortunately enlightening.#some who claimed FCG was going to sacrifice themselves/destroy others in the grand disc and were pretty vile about a hypothetical #are quick to paint ashton in a light so sympathetic it demands no one else feel any emotions #Ashton even states his shittiness about the changebringer was bc he thought this would lead FCG to do...exactly what he did with the titans #really it brings us back to a core question: is it action or is it intent. the answer is both but action matters more.#but also. much more bluntly. some of you have never either fucked up real bad or had a friend do so huh.#this felt extremely true to life; that's really it in the end.

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omg-snakes · 1 month

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Do you know if there are ways to know if a snake from a pet shop has been properly taken care of or not? Asking since i've been visiting some and i saw one with a boa that had some kind of sinking or deformity on his tail, so i'm kinda wary now.

Hello, friend! I'm sorry to tell you that there is not.

I've worked in multiple areas of the pet industry and I've met the full gamut of types of shop owners, and while I don't consider all of them wicked people, some certainly are. Even the best of them have a bottom line to consider. This means that they won't divulge where their animals are coming from so that you can look into a breeder before making a choice, and they're likely buying animals from backyard breeders or bulk importers. This also means that it's unlikely that the animals they're selling will have established health histories.

Having worked at one of if not The biggest reptile chain in Northern California, I saw some horrors that scarred me for life. Among the lesser sins that took place there:

Folks who bred reptiles but didn't have incubators set up could bring their eggs in for incubation services, the price of which was half of the clutch, and the store owner would then sell the resulting babies as "born on-site," which was technically true! But we didn't know the parentage or health potential of any of these animals. We didn't sell incubators in the store for this specific reason.

Surrenders came in regularly from owners who didn't have the time or resources to care for their pets any longer. They went on the sales floor with a price tag the second the previous owner walked out the door. No veterinary care, no health evaluation, no observation period, nothing. If they looked okay they were priced at regular retail price and we were explicitly told to never admit that they had been surrendered. 100% profit.

Any animal that was injured or sickly, no matter where it came from or how it got injured, was tagged as a "surrender" that we would claim was dropped off by a bad former owner and we'd had them cleared by a vet so that we could rehome them. This was a lie. None of them ever got veterinary care, ever.

Enclosures were cleaned regularly but were never properly sterilized between animals. We sold veterinary-grade cleaner in the store but we were not allowed to use it because it was too expensive. We used diluted Lysol!

Again, this is a large reptile chain with multiple stores and mostly positive online reviews* and I wouldn't trust them with a pet rock, let alone anything breathing.

You're much better off getting a snake from a reputable breeder, or at least someone who can answer reasonable questions about feeding, parentage, genetics, any possible health issues, etc.

*the owner actually reported negative reviews and would have employees write good ones while I was there.

#They consider themselves the Elon Musk of reptiles...#yeah pretty much #snake #snakes #reptile #reptiles #reptiblr #answers to questions #text post #i still have some ptsd from that job #I'm not kidding it almost destroyed me #pet store #tales of terror at the reptile shop #shockingly that's still not the WORST reptile job I've had #there was the one who tried to burn down the shop for insurance money #or the one that I'm 99% certain was a front for drugs #don't work at a pet store!#don't buy animals at a pet store!

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krashlite · 8 months

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I feel so insane over c!desertduo rn cause y’all will never understand them like I do

Scar was scapegoating this mf the entire time but Grian thought he was in charge, that he was saving this man over and over but it’s situations Scar put himself in on purpose. They hate that they have to be in each others company CONSTANTLY but they hate the silence more.

There’s so many interpretations where Grian’s in denial abt needing Scar but it’s true in reverse. Scar keeps having to convince himself that Grian’s expendable when he knows That’s Not True.

They wouldn’t hold hands or have a picnic (or other romantic gestures) but they find excuses to prove the other person needs them, they find reasons to make the other stay because they’re projecting.

“He’s expendable” “This is temporary” they both project this on the other. It’s a very toxic codependency that reinforces itself over and over because of the nature of the games, and I think it’s something they both realize in LL, but in different directions.

Scar misses it for all the wrong reasons and Grian is determined to never let it happen again.

Grian has shaky alliances all season long due to self sabotage, and Scar consistently tries to get someone else, Anyone Else into the same situation Grian was in. Not out of some power trip but to fill the void that left behind

#they’re queerplatonic in the most toxic way imaginable and I hate them #this is literally copy pasted from my twt but this is going over here #I’m normal I prommy #trafficblr #desertduo #not necessarily shipping?? but it can definitely be read that way #3rd life #grian #goodtimeswithscar #they are friends they are family they are lovers and bitter ex’s #they are at the other’s beck and call but ultimately seek to destroy themselves and each other #it is a connection that binds them across their lives and it follows them for as long as they refuse to let it go #they will only find joy without each other and they must reconcile that they cannot have a bond without trapping the other

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uncanny-tranny · 11 months

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The most infuriating form of sanism is this idea that mentally ill people/people with mental disorders are just too stupid or too unenlightened to know how to be a proper, well-adjusted person

So many therapists have ignored signs of my unwellness simply because they assumed I was just... being stupid, and I just needed educating about why I'm acting disordered (apparently, mental disorders stop disordering you once you are condescendingly told why you're just disordered and dumb, who knew (sarcasm)).

Like, I could tell them that I knew my behaviour wasn't "rational," wasn't "reasonable" to do or believe and I'd still be treated like I was so dumb I needed hand-holding and scolding about why I'm acting disordered.

I truly wish that people would be able to take the idea of guidance and stop twisting it into "I am superior and enlightened and the people I am trying to help are stupid and wrong and beneath me!"

#mental health #mental health advocacy #ableism #ableism tw #sanism #sanism tw #yes therapist i was aware that using 1/3 of a bottle of detergent for a medium-sized load of laundry isn't rational...#...and that it could wreck my clothes and my washer (which is why i brought it up in the first place. because i knew it wasn't right)...#...like that's an example and it's SO infuriating just how high of a horse some professionals (and even laypeople) put themselves on...#...like when you stop viewing patients as PEOPLE who need guidance and start viewing them as essentially helpless idiots you have a problem #and that problem should either be addressed or you should leave the practice utterly if you're a licensed professional #call me crazy but i don't think this attitude is conducive to the PATIENT'S well-being #the PATIENT is the person who matters. the PATIENT is the most important part of this ENTIRE interaction #the instance i was thinking about in this tag rant fucking *destroyed* my trust in that therapist #because it just told me that i wasn't being seen as a *person* but as an *issue*#and regardless of if that was their intention i still don't think it was appropriate #you can have the *best* intentions and still be ignorant and say/do ignorant things. even with the best intentions #having 'good intentions' does not absolve you of harm or absolve you of the capability TO harm #another reason i Do Not Like CBTherapy

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the-judicial-assistants-notebook · 5 months

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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?

(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):

i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.

the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.

at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.

similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.

rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.

and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.

and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?

and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.

moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.

#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr #WKSHDKAHDKS #lana skye #ema skye #miles edgeworth #the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who #technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i #first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts #with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for #years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every #waking moment. if you read all this ily <3 #it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry

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juniemunie · 4 months

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Don't you have anything better to do?

Just let them go.

(Yes its based off that pic from Veil)

#okay sansnomaly rant time.#ITS ABOUT. THE YEARNING.#one of the main themes of undertale is letting go #toriel lets go of her stubborness. letting you go and giving asgore mercy #asgore letting go of his anger #flowey/asriel accepting that chara is gone #chara refusing to let go of hating humanity... to the point of destroying themselves to take em down #and of course #us.#if we cant let go then neither can they. but thats tough. to let em go #we have that “perverted sentimentality”.#as mr alex hirsch says #“the first hardest challenge is to convince people to fall in love with your work"#“second hardest challenge is to create a finale because youre trying to break up with the people who just fell in love with you”#okay personal time #so guess whos semester is starting up again #so high chance i cant post as much as usual HAHAHHA oof #med school is gonna be a toughie ; w ;#ill try to interact but i probably cant draw as much anymore... enjoy this extremely rushed drawing... maybe ill clean it up one day #the brainrot is still strong though #thank you sansnomaly #keep trucking on everyone #sansnomaly #sans x self insert #sans x reader #junie art post

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syncrovoid-presents · 4 months

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Alastor's Deal (Thoughts, Theories, and some Predictions)

This won't answer the who, but aims to dig into the why, and plausibly narrow down the terms of the deal. Long post ahead!

Evidence

First off, the finale was incredible! But what Alastor's song showed was that his ""death"" against Adam wasn't entirely a surprise, but rather planned. Alastor's song revealed that he was looking for a loop in the contract, a way to slip past the deal without having to directly break it. He already made a deal with Charlie for a favour, but that might have been a safety net of sorts, something to guarantee himself a fighting chance if his "dying for the hotel" plan failed.

His surprise was at how fast it happened, not that he nearly died. Alastor craves control, he wears his smile for control, he makes deals for control, his magic highly influenced by controlling others too. His Modus Operandi is control, and he faced the battle it started with him being in control. He was outwitting Adam, he was faster, sneakier, even kept his hands behind his back while dodging just to show how little effort it took. But Adam's weapon sending an angelic beam of power? That wasn't in his plan, that wasn't in his control.

Control is something Alastor seeks over everything, which is why the deal is so brutal for him. The deal takes control from him, and his constant smiling and jokes and contained urges for violence is him trying to have some sort of freedom. It's highly implied that, unless it's for the hotel, he hasn't used his magic for his own reasons. He hasn't eaten or killed anyone unless it is for the hotel, and even that was implied to happen only during the Mimzy incident. He hasn't gotten to make any deals either, at least no real deals, no deals for souls.

I'm far from the first one to say that his deal is forcing him to help the hotel, but it's only now that we see the true extent. Alastor's entire personality, goals, and being has been changed against his will. He is now a tool for the hotel, the sword and shield, the magical provider, bringing them whatever they need to succeed despite the odds. Without him, it would just be Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust. Sir Pentious wouldn't have joined, repairs would've taken far longer, the staff would've been just Charlie and Vaggie, et cetera. Even his deals are just him trying to gain something out of helping the hotel.

Alastor is bound to the hotel and his powers are also bound to the hotel. He cannot be selfish, he cannot do anything unless it's for the hotel no matter how desperately he wants to do otherwise. And yet it seems like his powers are limited too.

Alastor has immense levels of powers, so much that he was taking down a large portion of the angel army single handedly. Had Adam not been there, it's not outlandish to claim that Alastor could have taken down the angel army by himself. This is why he was feared. This is why "no one crosses the radio demon". If these are his powers when their limited, imagine just how powerful he truly is?

The last evidence I'll state before moving on is that Alastor didn't return back to the hotel until it was rebuilt, yet still didn't use his magic to cause chaos.

To simplify, on his end the deal forces him to use his immense power for the benefit of the hotel. He cannot actively do anything to bring harm to it, and he cannot use his magic unless it's for the good of the hotel. And he cannot escape from the deal if the hotel is destroyed, so the deal isn't about the physical hotel, but rather the concept of it. As long as the hazbin hotel exists in the heart of those involved, Alastor is bound to help.

Why?

Now the why? I believe that, whoever he made the deal with him was, they want the hotel to succeed. Not only that, I believe that by forcing Alastor to stay there and help while limiting his capability for violence, they are also trying to rehabilitate Alastor.

Wherever Alastor was before the hotel opened, it was somewhere where he couldn't interact with anyone. He was forced to be gone, only until the hotel opened. If the theories of Alastor making a deal with Lilith is true, then Lilith's character is important to consider. From what we know she is powerful and worked to bring dekonkind together. And that she too disappeared 7 years ago.

It's confirmed that Alastor destroyed many of the worse evils that existed in hell, the only ancient overlords that remain are civil and take part of overlord meetings. They are controlled, contained. There's more structure, and the only truly out of control, dangerous demon to remain would have been Alastor. It's possible that Lilith realized that she could use him to "clean up hell", waiting her time until Alastor was the last remaining biggest threat. That was when she pounced, seven years ago to capture him in a deal. We don't know why he would accept such a limiting deal, but I'd wager that it could have been for his life (either she was threatening him, or he nearly died and made a deal for his life).

Now that the deal is made, Alastor can't bring mindless chaos. If anything he is doing the most to help demons be saved from the extermination either through redemption or protection (we also didn't see him prior to the last, so perhaps he's also bound to protect during the extermination too?).

All while Alastor is handling and ensuring the success of the largest and most helpful demon-centered support system, Lilith is on vacation. Almost like Alastor is acting in her role, a mimicry of a spiritual successor of sorts. He's helping rally the demons together, helping shape Charlie into a better leader, helping prove demons can be redeemed. All while Alastor is either witness, participant, or manager of the strategies used to redeem sinners. Alastor is only a few steps away from taking part of the redemption program himself.

If Alastor's deal was with Lilith, then she's getting everything she could want. All the uncontrollable evils/overlords destroyed, a muzzle on (one of the most) powerful sadistic demons, someone to help guide her daughter, help demons redeem themselves, protection for her citizens from being killed or further tortured, and she finally gets a vacation. She'd be getting everything she could want, with the bonus of possibly rehabilitating Alastor in the process.

It's no wonder Alastor is so desperate to break out of the deal, to find a backdoor in the contract. This goes against everything he stands for. The stories of him broadcasting screams? Of killing overloards and owning soul after soul after soul? That is the real him, and it isn't exaggerated. If Alastor wasn't chained, he'd have the power and strength to destroy large swaths of hell himself. If he decided to do his own extermination with angelic weapons? He could kill as many demons as the angels do and more, because he wouldn't be limited by a single day period.

If his deal is with someone else? We simply don't have enough information yet to name them then. Whoever it is, they would have to believe in demonkind's potential for improvement, and possibly fear what Alastor is able to do.

Predictions

The last thing I want to touch upon is how Alastor might be able to escape the deal. First is what he tried, which is "dying" for the hotel. Or, more precisely, for everyone involved in the hotel, it was as if he died, so why would they still depend on him?

Next would be for the hotel to be destroyed, and considering that we don't know if Alastor was briefly free while he recovered or if he was just hiding out somewhere new because he couldn't stay in the hotel because it didn't exist, this one is still iffy. If part of his deal is staying at the hotel to actively protect it, the he was temporarily freed from that condition. Yet once it was rebuilt Alastor returned, proving that the destruction of the hotel building wouldn't free him.

The next possible way could be the death of the hazbin hotel spirit. If Alastor (or outside forces) were able to destroy Charlie's hope for the hotel just like Lucifer's dreams were crushed, perhaps Alastor would be freed. Considering how the finale went, it would take a lot for this to happen.

My final idea, and the one I predict will happen, is that Alastor outfits the person he made the deal with. He doesn't find a true "out", but rather will manipulate them into giving his power back. And this? I believe that Alastor's deal with Charlie was made for this reason.

If indeed the deal was with Lilith, and part of the deal seems to be ensuring Charlie's dreams come true, then Charlie is a delightful way for Alastor to manipulate the situation. How? Who knows, but I think that this will be a large part of the conflict of season 2.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel lilith #syncrovoid.txt #i have SO many thoughts after watching the finale but these are my biggest ones!#Alastor is a fascinating character and its wonderful to have evidence that Alastor's whole characyer isn't just manipulating #the hazbin group but also manipulating the audience into viewing him as helpful and less dangerous #he makes us forget that Alastor thives off violence. he couldn't stop himself from laughing while fighting Adam #and took great joy in destroying the loan shark gang #had we saw him I'm sure we would have seen him thrilled to kill so many angels too #even if the deal forces him to help the hotel he didn't lie about finding entertainment in other's failing and ruining themselves #and yet despite this it's so very very hars Not to root for him #his desperation to be free of the deal is palpable and so raw that you want him to be free #even if that could lead to suh ruin and destruction and many many heaps of angst #how can i NOT analyze the finale to hell and back (pun on purpose)#anywho!!

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