#they had to bring in joe to nerf her
Text
so maybe i'm just insane but this is what happens in the death game. Right
#LIKE sara was so terrifying in the simulations#they had to bring in joe to nerf her#essentially stopping her from getting serious about winning#am i crazy#yttd#your turn to die
44 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you play ESO? :O what’s your character in it like?
omg i have. a lot. i'm putting this under a readmore.
my main is my magsorc dps Henrietta Wensleydale. she's the Demiprince of Shenanigans and half-altmer daughter of Sheogorath, the eldest of my three sisters; my hok Suzy Q Sweetroll is the middle sister and my ldb Minnie the Moocher is the youngest. Henrietta is in an it's-complicated with Naryu Virian and she loves to cook. she's bold, brash, loud, and a dedicated holder of grudges. title: Captain
jere's Em Balmer, my altmer magcro dps. she is so so so fun to play in cyro because she uses a lot of combos involving corpses and self sustain; i put a few points/abilities into things like healing nearby allies and gave her the aoe rez ult to help with capping. she's a goth who got into necromancy for the aessthetic, but she comitted too hard to the bit and is slowly turning into tamriel's hottest lich. all the necromancy and graverobbing started giving her some godawful nightmares, so she started worshiping Vaermina to try and bargain for better dreams; it hasn't paid off yet. somehow, she's dating Mirri Elendis. title: Expert Excavator
my beautiful powerhouse stamdk tank, Opens-Doors!! she's the best. she always gets me instant queues for any kind of dungeon event and she doesn't afraid of anything. she grew up in the black marsh and lived as an egg-tender for many years, never having kids of her own but becoming something of an aunt or godmother to generations of hatchlings. she had something of a midlife crisis and decided it was time for a change, so she packed her bags and headed west to look for a new life of adventure, but her motherly instincts are still her biggest motivator and she's always reminding her fellow mercenaries to eat their vegetables. title: Locksmith
Pachin-ko, my stamblade stealth bomber. if i'm playing pvp and not using Em, i'm using this girl. she grew up in northern elsweyr; her mom basically raised her on her hip and taught her how to get by with as little as possible. since she went her own way, she's become something of a thrill-seeker, always looking for that big break that'll let her settle down for real, so she's always thinking up a get-rich-quick scheme and skipping town to avoid paying her gambling debts. she met Opens-Doors in Leyawiin and they've become inseparably entangled since; Pachin-ko brings a sense of direction to Doors' wandering ways, and Doors keeps Pachin-ko from backing out of promises or betting everything on black. title: Paragon
my werewolf warden, Chuck Backstrap. she has so much wasted potential... i got her to level 50 literally two weeks before they rolled out that update that changed light/heavy attack damage and completely nerfed werewolves. :(
my alliterative breton Betty Braveheart is my one healer and hardly gets any playtime because i like killing and taunting stuff way more :') title: Battleground Butcher
last but not least: Joe Crabshack. he's my dumbass gag character with whom i do all my fishing. his lore is that he is so completely bland and uninteresting that people are compelled to loathe and shun him practically on sight. he doesn't notice or care. i bought the Sleek Creek House and painstakingly turned it into a beautiful seafood restaurant and bar just for him! my dream is to someday beat vet hardmode castle thorn just to get him the "Inedible" title, but we all know that's not happening anytime soon...
#'what about puts-dispenser-here' he's a gag character and not even level 50 he doesn't COUNT#shebbz shoutz#shebbz screenshotz#tes#eso#tes oc#oc henrietta#oc em#oc pachin ko#oc opens doors#oc chuck#oc betty#oc joe#ask
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Borhap Boys As Sugar Daddies
(reposted bc it was disappearing from the tags😭)
hey guys!! I wanna apolgoize for the disappearance, school is ✨madness✨ luv. so I've decided to try something new. But I promise I'm working on requests (and a bunch of new ideas). I love all of the borhap boys (bc they are babies🥺) so this might become a little series of head canons! no major warnings, just lots of fluff and some suggestive material. also reader is gender neutral (boy, girl, whatever you what it my dudes!) why not mix my fav trope and boys all in...one fic😳😳 anyways hope you guys enjoy!! I would love some feedback for future reference
Masterlist (requests are welcomed!)
Rami Malek-
Number one that gif of him...need I say more? 🥰
I’m sick of how ya’ll sleep on Rami!! I’m gonna give him tons of love
He would be one of the most affectionate sugar daddy’s tbh
Certainly would spoil the HECK out of you
Whether it be paying off your bills or lavish trips to Greece, Rami always has your back
You never had to pay a SINGLE PENNY when you were around him
Being with Rami, you were a changed person
Your fashion game went UPPPP
Like chanel perfume, all designer clothes, nice handbags, you NAME IT
”Rami, I’m not buying a five hundred dollar shirt from Theory.” ”What do you mean? It would look so good on you, sweetheart.”
Yes, Rami bought you the shirt
You two were at a vinyl place and you saw a limited edition queen vinyl
He buys it (and basically 10+ vinyls you love)
SO RAMI MAKES A WHOLE ASS ROOM IN HIS HOME FOR YOUR VINYLS🥺🥺
This man is omfg i loveee him❣️
Little sneak kisses to your forehead
Seeing you smile as you shop and blush at his complaints makes him so freaking happy HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH
He would take you shopping at the best stores
“I would be fine at a target, y’know” as you look around a Gucci store
Rami would snake an arm around your waist as he cooed into your ear, “My baby deserves the best, and nothing but the best
What started out as an arrangement turned into a genuine relationship
When looking for a sugarbaby, Rami was simply looking for company (and someone to spoil the heck out of)
In all truth, he was simply a lonely guy who simply wanted someone to make happy, and made himself happy in the process
Wherever you guys would go, he would always wanna hold your hand and be close to you bc he’s scared of loosing someone he’s made a connection with
And i’m totally not crying as I write this
Both of you were in dark places when you first met
Rami showed how much he truly cared about you
If you called him all upset, he would SPEED over with whatever you needed whether it be pizza or emotional support
Sitting on your couch, his arm wrapped around yours as you vented about your problems
Rami had convinced you to drop your job and come live with him because he’s a KING!!
”Angel, you’re not gonna have to worry about anymore.” ”What do you mean?”
You ended up quitting your job and moving in with him
What turned into an arrangement became an intimate relationship
The sex between you to was AMAZING
it was VERY intimate
It started off slow but would get increasingly rougher god I hate what I said
Rami would always check up and you and NEVER go past your limits
It would end with the two of you cuddling in bed
Let’s just say you never had to worry about your bills ever again😎😎
I MADE MYSELF CRY WHYYY
Gwilym Lee-
my love for this man? ENDLESS
Seriosuly gwilym lee HAVE MY CHILDERN
anyways to the pLOT
Gwilym is the sexiest and cutest man alive
The sugar daddy that will bring you EVERYWHERE HE GOES
He’s such a gentlemen
Like all relationships start, it was more of an arrangement then a relationship
Your job was to escort Gwilym at all these events as “company”
Gwilym would send a bunch of nice items and a driver to bring you to the location
”Hope you like this ❤️ xxx”
“Treat yourself! 😘xxx”
Like mister I-😳😳
Gwilym is literally such a sweet person
Whenever you were spotted with him, you would get thousands of compliemnts/questions
”You’re with Gwilym! So lucky!”
”That necklace is to kill for! Did Gwilym give it to you?”
”Teach my your ways!”
Whenever you’re at these events all these people give you evil stares
Your like👁👄👁 “is Gwilym a playboy??”
Gwilym is all like “what do you mean?? 🥺Of course not! Your the only one that matters to me right now”
He’s such a king we LOVE HIM
Spontaneous trips to France and Italy
Gwilym and you grow super close
Also your dates would range from fancy galas for Gwilym’s works or peaceful book/poetry readings
He LOVES books and always takes you to bookstores and gives his best recommendations
He literally turns into an english teacher while overanalyzing books
”The greenlight in Green Gatbsy is such a crucial symbol”
”Jane Austen is one of the best feminist writers, she was so ahead of her time!”
You wanna be annoyed but can’t
i can’t I LOVE GWILYM LEE I’M NOT SORRY
The two of you would lie in bed together
You would be slouched against his body as he stroked your hair, reading to you in that accent
As much as you love your gentlemen, you get him into the wacky world of ninety day fiance
”This looks like trash...I’m going to watch every minute of it!”
You guys order chinese food and watch this obsessviely for six hours
I know this is meant to be fluffy but why not add some 🌶
Sex with you and Gwil is like ✨fireworks✨
He would make sure you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day let’s just say😉
He would have to carry you around and kiss your head, saying “You're so adorable, poppet” or “Don’t strain your legs, Cariad!”
Also ceo of AMAZING NICKNAMES
”My anwylyd” (Welsh for dearest)
Would 100% write you romantic poems (over text and in paper)
And yes he WOULD dramatically read them to you😤😤✌🏽
He would always greet you with the most over the top nicknames like “Good morning cariad!” or “Sit there and act pretty, my beloved”
hi mr lee please make me your sugar baby
Gwilym is your sugar daddy but also your sweet, book loving man
He loves seeing you happy so in return, you make him happy💓💓
Joe Mazzello-
This one is a wildcard ladies and gays!! 😌😌
Joe definitely does not strike you as a sugar daddy
He seems more like your boyfriend than anything else
The two of you were inseparable
After dinner Joe would take you to a karaoke bar or for ice cream
After the first date you started calling him Joey
Drunken duets to cheesy 80’s romance songs
The two of you would sing your hearts out before vomiting from the copious ammouts of ice cream and vodka
With Joe it’s eithier mcdonalds or Nobu in TriBeCa
Mr.Mazello has range😌✨
This dude is the ceo of cheesy nicknames
”Yes my little lover muffin!”
”What is it cutie patootie?”
”You look amazing buttercup!”
“What’s up, hot stuff?”
In public he calls you “baby” or “lover” dw he saves you from public embarrassment
You know that meme of will smith and his wife? That is basically you and Joe
My love for his man is infinite
Joe is super clingy
Hand holding and lots of PDA
He wants people to know that your his sugar baby😤😤💓
he will always send texts like
”miss you baby💓💗💓💗!”
”can you grab milk from the store pls??”
”SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA WHERE ARE YOU😩😩🤯🤯🤯”
”Joe, it’s been a day.”
He has so many photos of you in his camera roll
You are his lockscreen😔💓
The ceo’s of amazing instagram photos, whether it be you wearing a burger king crown at Burger King or You guys kissing on a boat with the Italian sunset on a private boat
Captions would be could “my favorite fairytale is our love story” or “yasss queen slay it!”
It’s cringey but god Joe is so adorable
A combination of a child and gentleman ALL IN ONE
All of his friends are like “you guys HAVE to be dating!’
It’s suppose to be nothing more than an arrangement right?
I mean the two of you were living with eachother and he dropped all of this other sugar babies for you
The two of you are master chefs minus the one time Joe burned mac and cheese and set the stove on fire
Also not to get smutty but the sex between you two? Like
Straight up RAMMING to sweet pillowtalk
Anyways Joe being your sugar daddy would definitely not be a bad thing at all😘
Always exchange those “I love you’s” 💕✨
Ben Hardy-
When first seeing Ben on your sugar daddy app, you were 100% intimidated
But upon meeting him, this tough dude was a PUPPY🥺❣️
On the first date he bought you flowers and gave you a hug
“Y/n, right?”
“That’s me!”
“I just wanted to say you look stunning, love.”
You were wearing jeans and literally smiled so much
You know this date was going to go VERY WELL NOW😩✌🏽✨
Instead of a fancy restaurant, Ben took you to a stroll around London
Whatever clothes you wanted? He got it
Whatever cafe you wanted to stop at? Buy all the tea/coffee and pastries you want
Hotel? Trivago
The two of you walked around the city, hand and hand as you got to know eachother
You ended up walking around the city for five hours up until midnight
You laughed and talked about thousands of things
In confusion, you had to see Ben again
As Ben walked you back to your place, you smiled at him,
”I’d like to do that again.”
”Call me when you want, y/n.”
So your “dates” became more frequent
Ben had the best ideas for dates
Dinners at small Italian places, walking around a museum, or just sitting in his place and watching mindless television
He made sure to spoil you
With gifts, literally and figurreitly
Sex was a large piece in your arrangeemnt
But it was not the only thing in your relationship
And it was!! Amazing!!
”You’re so fucking beautiful” as he would kiss your forehead and dive straight into it 🥺😳
Not only could that man be A BEAST but an absolute sweetheart
Everyday you looked forward to not only getting paid by him, but just talking to him for hours on end
He would stay up for hours just to talk to you, whether it be about your lives or anything
and that ladies and gays is a dedicated MAN
No matter what, Ben always found a way to touch you
He always had his hand on the chair behind you or your thigh
You guys would have pillowforts and nerf fun battles together
It would always end with a cuddle session
Frankie would be skeptcial but love you!!
You guys got so close that he took you on a trip to the greek islands AND PROPOSED!! LIKE!! YES!!😌😌😌
LIKE YES POP OFF MISTER BEN HARDY
#rami malek#joe mazzello#gwilym lee#ben hardy#rami malek x reader#joe mazzello x reader#gwilym lee x reader#ben hardy x reader#my writing#queen#borhap boys#headcanons
180 notes
·
View notes
Text
richie as things ive done
-maxed out my phone storage because i saved too many pictures of flags after deciding that i was going to text exclusively in semaphore
-walked up a 2-story railing because i was bored and then did it again because the first time my friend didnt get pictures
-crawled underneath a train because i dropped my flip flop
-spent too much money on thrift store knick knacks with cursed energy (puppets, garden gnomes, ceramic figurines, other peoples’ family photos, etc)
-spent too much money on awful thrift store clothes
-made a valiant attempt to bring silly bandz back
-ate over 100 rolls of smarties in a 48-hour period
-ignored the fact that i had the flu or something for a week. just genuinely did not realize until someone pointed it out
-locked myself in a school bathroom stall with my friends so i could draw sunglasses on her nipples with expo marker
-got in trouble for holding a baby doll like a real baby in english class
-filled said baby with chocolate milk and barbecue sauce “to feed it” and punted it across the bathroom
-bought my friend a custom life-sized body pillow of her fav actor for her birthday and hid it in her locker for a terrifying morning surprise
-bought a ball gag at goodwill
-gave a chemistry presentation to my entire class and forgot to remove the slide with a picture of a frog with a speech bubble that said “hnnng… i need… your spit”
-ate a lock of wig hair for a video that we were filming
-accidentally yelled “FUCK” in french class as soon as the room had gone silent
-kept loose cheese puffs in my desk drawer
-kept a dixie cup of chocolate chips in my desk drawer
-accidentally came into possession of 78 decorative gourds and didnt know where to put them so i left them in the top of my locker and they rotted
-got in trouble in sixth grade on valentines day for giving a boy a small potato instead of a paper valentine
-tried to wriggle my body through a saint patrick’s day wreath at a thrift store and got very, very, very stuck
-was the ringbearer for a wedding and said “oh, swag” on reflex when i dropped the rings
-challenged myself to write all my in-class essays so that they could be read to the tune of ‘two trucks’ and no one ever found out
-brought pot brownies to an anime convention
-stayed up for days on end until i was so tired that i fell asleep while writing an in-class essay and kept writing gibberish while fully asleep
-got an a in a class where i literally never turned in the homework
-changed my text tone to an audio recording of my best friend saying something embarrassing
-went through a phase where i would write several pages of notes on one page in different colors until it looked like just horrible scribbles “to save paper”
-bought parchment and a quill pen on amazon and used them to take notes
-had to leave a party early but i was eating fishsticks and i wasnt done so i put them all in my coat pocket
-kept loose dumplings in my hoodie pocket
-wore a fanny pack with a speaker in it and blasted ‘two trucks’ and also used the fanny pack to carry a bag of gummi worms and give them to people when they were upset that i called ‘emotional support worms’
-bought a whole-ass rocking horse and then took it home on the bus
-drank monster energy out of my parents’ wedding-gift wine glasses
-babysat some kids and helped them turn the entire first floor of their house into a fort for a brutal nerf gun war
-started a black market in third grade where the primary trade was colored pencils and cap erasers
-made direct eye contact with my teacher and said ‘because i am a dumbass’ when asked why i didnt have the homework
-went to a burger place where the workers yell out the order numbers and when they yelled “69!” muscle memory took over and i yelled back “NICE”
-tried to convince my friend to chug a glass of dairy free creamer until i got tired of waiting and grabbed it out of her hands and chugged it myself
-bought an animatronic bear at a thrift store and spent an hour trying to pry open the battery case to discover that it sings When I’m 64. like the whole song all the way through
-got lost in best buy for two hours and ended up leaving with a Dory backpack that was on sale
-kept a headless antique mannequin in my room at the foot of my bed to train myself out of feeling fear
-in fifth grade i attempted to physically fight another fifth grader over our minecraft fanfiction
-skipped swimming class for an entire trimester and somehow faced no repercussions
-stole a girl’s hair out of her hairbrush in fourth grade and used it for crafts
-pinned my friend to the floor and rubbed a gluestick on her face i don’t remember why
-got my friends to pool all our money at sky high so we could put cotton eyed joe into the jukebox as many times as possible
-started an uprising against our lunchtime therapist in fourth grade by convincing all of my friends to make warriors ocs with me instead of participating in the activities (this culminated in the four of us getting kicked out of lunchtime therapy)
-made my first friend in high school because she saw me secretly eating twizzlers out of my sleeve in english class
-found loose jelly beans in my school bag and ate them without question
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
If the Party and teen team had children, how do you think they would be as parents? I found hilarious that Mike becomes a sleepy Ted, or Nancy a Karen, or Billy takes a 180º degree turn and becomes a good father...
tbh i cannot really imagine any of the Party as parents bc in my mind they are babies... i think theoretically like they'd probably all be pretty good parents because they're more familiar than most with what it's like to be a kid and feel like you're on your own and your parents don't understand what you're going through. like i think they'd look back on their own childhoods and all the shit they went through and be like damn i can't be hands-off and leave them to handle things alone but i also can't be a controlling asshole! so i think they'd all be pretty good at it if they chose to be parents. dustin would be the most stereotypical dorky dad in the universe.
i think nancy would be a very hard mother to get along with/handle tbh unless she did a Lot of growing in her 20s/30s before having children. like she would love her kids and try her best and she'd absolutely do anything for them! ...but i don't think she really has the patience to deal with little kids and she seems like the type to set really high standards for older kids to live up to. i think she'd be the type of parent who's like a good provider and who encourages you to be your best but is pretty emotionally distant because of their own unresolved trauma and who doesn't really understand you. like i think if nancy was your mom you would have an incredibly fraught relationship until you reached adulthood and then you would start to really understand her more as a person and get along with her once you weren't living under the same roof. i don't know if she would really choose to have children though? i think there's a good chance that after everything she's been through, watching barb's parents mourn, nancy would feel like the world is too fucked and scary to bring children into it, plus she seems like she'd prefer to focus on a career and if she continues down the path of investigative journalism that might conflict a lot depending on how intense her work gets. maybe she could like foster teenagers or something once she was in her 40s or so? i think she might be good at that. also she'd be a milf and her kids would get constantly bombarded with "i'll fuck your mom" talk.
i think if robin had kids she would be a Cool Mom like she's gay so she's automatically cool for that alone but she also seems like. like she's the Fun Parent who's a little dorky and kind of sucks at discipline and maybe lets her kids get away with more than they should but she's also the mom that like all of her kids' friends go to when they can't talk to their own parents because they know robin will be nice and not make them feel bad about whatever it is. however i do also think she forces her kids to be involved with At Least One Extracurricular at all times and she probably like teaches them basic spanish and french and shit and sometimes she'll just talk to them in another language and be all disappointed and sad when they don't know what the fuck she's saying. she 100% knows that her teenage kids get tipsy when they visit uncle steve and she pretends like she has no clue because they listen to steve when he teaches them how to party safely and they won't listen if they know she's endorsing it because she's their mom and she's lame.
i think jonathan would debate a lot over having kids bc of his Familial Trauma but ultimately i do think he'd want to whether he was like Having kids or adopting or whatever. he's just a family kind of person yknow? i think he'd be a good dad although he might sometimes try too hard and have trouble like letting his kids work out their issues for themselves without intervening. like i think when his kids got to be 12-15 there would be a lot of arguments where they'd be like can you get off my dick and jonathan would be like please i just love you and worry about you and would like to know about every single problem you've ever had <3 because he would be SO conscious of not acting like his own father. however i do think (based off how he talks with will) that he would be able to like work through it and have honest conversations with his kids whenever shit did arise. also his kids would grow up watching like Classic Cinema and they'd show up to sixth grade like wow y'all have never watched the godfather? losers.
as joe keery put it i think steve would definitely be a better dad than his dad is to him! obviously steve would be an awesome dad like i genuinely think that shit is like his calling in life. like i think he'd gladly be a stay at home dad and he would be very dorky and fun and maybe a little too lax on discipline and he'd LIVE for reading to his kids and watching kiddie movies with them and having nerf wars and shit. i think he'd have a really hard time when his kids got older and he'd be very very sad whenever they wanted to hang out with their friends instead of him but robin would be like hey dumbass you're their dad they love you but you're their DAD and steve would be like shit yeah you're right :/ and deal with it (after having a midlife crisis meltdown). he would maybe be anxious about and a little strict on like drugs/alcohol/sex stuff bc of his own history but i do think he'd still be like a "you can have a glass of wine with dinner on holidays also i'm gonna tell you how condoms work and let you know that you can always ask me about anything you need" type of parent because he just doesn't want to be the way his dad was. ultimately i think he'd be good at it and his kids would love him a lot but they would also think he was like the dorkiest lamest man alive and they would be FLOORED that their friends find him cool and fun and attractive.
i can't really see kali ever wanting to have kids aaand fortunately b*lly died before we had to worry about it <3
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Also like can you imagine the rest of the old guard if they adopted a kid? Like idk how this would work out like if Nicky and Joe just say f it and adopt a kid or if maybe they lose their immortality and adopt bc this is their chance. But Andy being all serious and playing games like peek a boo or whatever bc they help with child development and just having the softest smile when the kid laughs. (part 1)
& Booker?! Who had kids & watched them die?! It would be so bittersweet for him but he'd be such a good uncle & maybe he views it as his actual 2nd chance to make things right with the team & he'd do right by this kid. And maybe it'd even give him some renewed sense of purpose, seeing this kid that doesn't exactly need him per say bc the kid obv has great parents but still this kid is attached 2 uncle booker & would be sad if he wasn't around & booker knows this so tries all the harder? (part 2)
& speaking of booker like I think this would give Nicky & Joe a reason to reconcile with booker sooner than 100 years? Maybe having a kid makes them realize more how hard it must have been 4 booker. & Joe would be so protective at 1st but once he sees how booker is around their kid he's able 2 reconcile with everything especially for the sake of their kid & wanting their kid 2 grow up with the entire family in tact bc despite everything booker is family. But booker would spoil their kid (part 3)
Last part! He comes in with sweets & gifts bc he's the cool uncle. & it's good for him too? Like he can't drink as much so he gets his act together? (oops didn't mean to make this so much about booker but i couldn't help myself once i started thinking about it). & Nile? Would be the coolest aunt? She's the youngest of tog & more in touch with pop culture so she can vibe easier with a kid than all these immortal nerds & the kid loves seeing aunt nile & using slang and memes bc nile still gets it
In my head, they adopt her after they’re both mortal, so that way they can grow alongside her. It’s their chance to do one last good thing, raise this kid with all the years worth of knowledge that they’ve accumulated, and it’s also a chance for them to have this small moment of normalcy.
Nile and Booker are probably the only ones allowed to babysit, because every time Andy comes over she always brings the kid some weapon from her collection.
Joe has to pull her aside at one point to be like, “Boss, you can’t give our nine year old an ax.”
Andy’s confused, “Why not? I got my first battle ax when I was eight. It was my favorite gift.”
Nicky is on the fence about weapons. On one hand, he agrees with Joe that they’re dangerous for a child to play with, but on the other he really wants to teach his kid how to sword fight. It is a necessary skill. So he just ends up buying a lot of foam swords and nerf guns. Every time their daughter hits him with one he pretends to die in this big dramatic way. If Joe’s around, he won’t wake up until he gets ‘true love’s kiss’.
Booker would 100% love that kid more than anything else though. At first he avoids her, because it just brings up memories of his own kids. But the first time she ever comes up to him and just grabs his hand or tries to show him a picture she drew, Booker immediately caves. He becomes her new best friend, she talks to him about everything, and he’s always there to just sit and listen. Nicky and Joe find them in her room sometimes, Booker sitting at this little kids table, hunched over and hardly fitting in the seat, as they color or play.
Nile is definitely the cool aunt. When she babysits they order pizza and watch “big kid” movies, which are really just early 2000s films that Nile grew up with. She tries to keep up to date with all the memes, because then she and the kid can just talk in this convoluted lingo that Nicky and Joe will never be able to decipher. They can speak most languages known to man, but their kid says ‘yeet’ once and they’re just like ‘????’
The kid, after successfully opening a jar of pickles on their own, “If you ever see me in the forest fighting a grizzly bear, help the bear!!”
Joe, confused, but trying to be supportive, “Yeah. Absolutely... maybe don’t fight bears though...??”
Nile, who is cultured, just screams from across the room, “’cause that bear gonna need it!!” (she knows better than to curse around the ten year old)
#and yes andy would still be alive#because I refuse to accept otherwise#the old guard#headcanon#tog kid au#things from the inbox
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
Joe asking for advice for how to babysit the kids while your away on a business trip, with the reader assuring him that it will be fine. With number 41, 44, and 23.
41 - I need some advice.
44 - It’s not a big deal, I promise.
23 - That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I love it.
I went with single mom!reader here because like...you don’t babysit if they’re your own children, y’know? This came out really long but I liked it! Hope you do too, love! :)
“Joe, are you sure you’re okay with this?” you asked for the hundredth time. “They’re not your kids, you don’t have to -”
“It’s not a big deal, I promise,” he assured you. “I like them, they like me, I think we can make it a few days.”
“You’re a Godsend,” you sighed.
You looked at him for a moment, a new appreciation coming forward in your heart. You knew your feelings for Joe were more than friendship, but you were so busy with the kids and your new job, you felt you didn’t have time to be dating. Besides, you and Joe were friends. It would be silly to risk what you had.
“I need some advice,” he said, bringing you out of your thoughts.
“What is it?”
“What do I feed them?”
You laughed and then showed him around the kitchen. You had laid out a few recipes and shopped for everything they would need, so the pantry and fridge were stocked. You showed him where everything was and how to use it. You explained the kids’ allergies and what they would try to trick him into thinking they were allergic to so they wouldn’t have to eat it. He chuckled and said he’d keep that in mind.
“If you have any questions, you can always text me,” you finished with.
“Will do,” he replied.
“And please make sure the boys are nice to their sister,” you said. “She tends to feel ganged up on, especially when I’m not around.”
“Of course,” he said. “Addie and I always enjoy the coloring game.”
“The coloring game?” you asked.
“Yeah, we each choose a picture, and we race to see who can color it the fastest while staying in the lines,” he explained. “She’s won every time, but I think I can make a comeback.”
“I’m rooting for you,” you said.
He laughed. “You ready to round these guys up and head to the airport? Your flight leaves in a few hours.”
You took a deep breath and nodded. Joe went out to the living room where all three kids were having a Nerf gun war. Joe snatched a spare gun from the floor, and tucked and rolled into the center of the room, turning slowly and pointing at each kid.
“Alright, everybody hands up!” he said, frowning dramatically at them. “We gotta take your mom to the airport, so here’s how this is gonna go. You three are gonna run to the car and whoever gets there last is getting one of these,” he indicated the foam bullet poking out. “Right to the butt.”
They yelled and tore through the room to get to the front door.
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you said, smiling. “I love it.”
You heard their giggles die down as they went outside, you and Joe following slowly behind. He grabbed your suitcase in his free hand, and you locked the door behind you. When you looked out, you saw Addie and Charlie were already in the car. Ronan was lying face down on the driveway.
“What’chya doing there, bud?” Joe asked, as he lifted your suitcase into the trunk.
“I lost the race but only because Charlie pushed me,” Ronan whined. “Now I gotta get shot in the butt.”
You covered your mouth to stifle your laughter.
“Oh, well it doesn’t count if Charlie cheated,” Joe said, gently picking Ronan up and putting him in his seat next to Addie. He tickled Charlie on the tummy as a little punishment before buckling them up and closing the door.
You handed Joe the keys and got into the passenger seat. The kids talked the whole way to the airport. Joe was responsive, thoughtful, and funny. He was probably the kids’ favorite person. They really adored him and it seemed the feeling was mutual.
Joe decided to park in the garage so he could properly help you with your things and the kids could walk with you inside. You all went inside where you knelt down and hugged and kissed each of the kids goodbye. Addie got a little weepy until her brothers gave her a big hug and assured her Joe was more fun than Mom anyway. You rolled your eyes before standing up and looking at Joe.
“Thank you again for this,” you said. “I asked their dad but apparently his golf trip is more important than my career.”
“Really, Y/N, I don’t mind,” he said. “They’re great.”
You took another deep breath. He pulled you in for a hug. Then he cupped your face in his hands.
“You’re amazing, and I’m really proud of you,” he said.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed you softly. Light enough for you to push him away if you wanted. But you didn’t. You took hold of his collar and pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. His hands snaked around your waist and squeezed. When you broke apart, you were breathing heavily.
“Have a great trip, Y/N,” he said. “But, I’m really looking forward to when you get back.”
“Me too,” you returned with a grin.
You looked over his shoulder to see the kids staring at the pair of you, eyes round as saucers and mouths hanging open. You held back a laugh. Joe looked and saw it too, but he snorted.
“Well, that’s one way to quiet them down,” he joked.
“I like that way,” you replied.
You giggled together and then said one final goodbye to everyone. It was a little more difficult to watch them leave now. Joe ushered the kids out the door, but gave you one final wave before he disappeared back into the parking lot. You smiled. Your heart took off with the plane that day.
#joe mazzello#joe mazzello x reader#joe mazzello imagine#joe mazzello x you#BoRhap#bohemian rhapsody#BoRhap cast#borhap boys#borhap imagine#bohemian rhapsody imagine#queen#queen imagine#John Deacon#John deacon imagine#john deacon x reader#john deacon x you#meiholo
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Cool Uncle / j.k.
“joe keery imagine where you’re dating and you meet the cast and eventually become like the uncle and aunt they never asked for (cause we all know he’s that one cool uncle”
Request?: @orangepegacorn-blog
Pairing: Joe Keery x Reader (f)
Warnings: swearing but nothing too crazy
Word Count: 1101
*gif is not mine*
“Hey,” Joe placed his hand on your shoulder as you two sat in the parking lot of the studio where they filmed Stranger Things. You had never been to set before but today, for some God knows reason, Joe decided ah what the hell, I’ll bring Y/N today so she can meet the cast making you pretty nervous.
Your mind was swimming with thoughts, basically drowning you. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m annoying? What if they think Joe deserves better? You just couldn’t get your mind out of the mud on this one. You felt stuck. After all, you just wanted to be accepted by the Stranger Things kids, as stupid as it sounds. But, they meant the world to your boyfriend so you hoped for the best.
You looked over at Joe, your eyes meeting his soft chocolate brown ones. He brought his hand up to your cheek, his thumb lightly grazing over your bottom lip. “They’ll love you. Trust me, babe.” He assured you to which you just smiled small and blushed at his touch.
“C’mon. Finn said he brought Nerf guns for when we’re on break.” Joe grinned, kissed your nose and got out of his car. You quickly followed suit, not wanting to be left behind at any point today. You grabbed Joe’s hand, intertwining your fingers with his.
As Joe lead you two back to the hair and makeup trailer, y’all ran into a few of the older cast members which made you hold back your inner fangirl. David Harbour smiled kindly as Joe introduced you. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, David.” You awkwardly held out your hand for him to shake to which the older man chuckled lightheartedly.
“You don’t have to shake my hand, sweetheart. I’m a hugger.” You beamed at David’s words, hugging the man. “Joe talks about you all the time.” He stated as you pulled out of the embrace.
“Oh really?” You looked back at your boyfriend who scratched the back of his neck, shrugging. “All good things I hope?” You asked David.
David crossed his arms over his chest, chuckling. “Nothing but good things. He adores you, kid.” You bit your lip at the words. The feeling of knowing Joe spoke so highly of you to people you’d only ever seen on tv make you glow for some reason. An ego thing perhaps or maybe just the thought of knowing he loved you just as much as you did him.
“Joseph David Keery!” You hear someone yell. Joe immediately turns his head, rolling his eyes playfully at the person who shouted.
“Didn’t realize you were my mother now, Millie.” He chuckled, motioning for you to follow him. You nodded, saying your goodbyes to David before rushing back to Joe’s side. “Y/N, this is Millie. Millie, Y/N.” He introduced. “Now why exactly am I being shouted at like I’m seven and broke something important?” He questioned the smaller girl.
Millie scoffed, placing her hand on her chest as she exclaimed, “You didn’t tell me your girlfriend was coming! I would’ve made her something to make her feel welcome! Now I feel bad, Joe.”
Joe gasped playfully. “I did so tell you!” You laughed, shaking your head. You patted Joe on the cheek and turned to Millie.
“It’s okay, I didn’t know I was coming here either.” You smiled. Millie giggled at your remark before looking at Joe then back to you.
“Oh my goodness! You must meet the rest of the party!” She told you, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards wherever the rest of the group was. You smiled brightly at her.
“C’mon Joe!”
He grinned as he caught up. “Ah, Gaten! My man!” Joe said high-fiving the younger curly haired boy.
Gatan threw his hand down to his side, rejecting his friend’s gesture. Joe furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
“Um, who’s the girl?” Gaten asked making Joe roll his eyes opening his mouth to explain yet again before being cut off by Millie who squealed excitedly.
“She’s Joe’s girlfriend!” You sheepishly waved.
“Hey.” You said, Finn shrugging at you.
“That’s cool but the real question is, are you good at Nerf wars, Joe’s girlfriend?” The boy questioned and raised an eyebrow, holding a plastic gun in his hands.
“Um, excuse me but she has a name you shithead.” Joe scoffed, crossing his arms. “Y/N.” He shared, Caleb shushing him. “Why does everyone hate me today? Jesus.” He sighed.
“Because you’ve downgraded from group mom to lame uncle.�� Sadie explained.
“What the hell? I’m the cool uncle if anything!” Joe yelled making you snort, earning a glare from him as you throw your hands up in defeat. “Why am I lame now?”
“Because you didn’t tell us that Y/N even existed!” Caleb told him.
“He told me that he told you guys.” You shared making all the kids scoff and mutter things under their breath.
“That’s exactly why you’re now the lame uncle.” Sadie shrugged. “You can earn your title back though. Maybe not your mom one but I’ll let cool uncle slide.” She offered. “You win this nerf war, Y/N on our team, and you get your title back. Deal, Keery?”
Joe rolled his eyes, grabbing a Nerf gun from the pile by Finn’s feet. “You’re on you little shits. I can win this in my sleep.”
Finn tossed you the gun he was holding, you catching it and looking over to your boyfriend. “Well, you might not be the cool uncle anymore but I’m most definitely the bitchin’ aunt.” You smirked at him.
“Hell yeah!” Gaten cheered at your words earning a light shove from Joe. “Hey, don’t get pissed at me because your girlfriend is cooler than you.”
“Alright ladies,” Noah quieted the group down. “Myself, Caleb, Finn, and Gaten are a team. Sadie, Joe’s girlfriend and Millie are a team.” He explained Joe waving his hands.
“Wait-- what about me?” He asked, Noah looking over at him and shrugging.
“You go solo. That’s how you make your come back.” Joe gasped at the younger boy’s words.
“I’m calling bullshit on that logic.” Joe stated.
“Call bullshit all you want, Keery. Doesn’t change the rules.” Gaten stated. “Alright, everyone ready?”
Everyone nodded collectively, you nudging Joe’s shoulder making him nod too. “You’ll always be the cool uncle in my books.” You whispered to him.
“Don’t make this weird, sweetheart.” Joe kissed your cheek.
“Hey!” Finn snapped. “No flirting with the competition!”
“Ready to get your ass whooped, Keery?” You looked back at Joe who smirked at your threat.
“Bring it.”
---
not too shabby for my first have at it in a while :) I hope you enjoyed it, darling!
requests/rules here!
MASTERLIST
#heckin imagines#heckin headcanons#steve harrington#steve harrington imagine#joe keery#joe keery imagine#joe keery headcanon#stranger things#stranger things imagines#joe keery x reader#joe keery x you#heckin writing
220 notes
·
View notes
Text
richie as things ive done
-maxed out my phone storage because i saved too many pictures of flags after deciding that i was going to text exclusively in semaphore
-walked up a 2-story railing because i was bored and then did it again because the first time my friend didnt get pictures
-crawled underneath a train because i dropped my flip flop
-spent too much money on thrift store knick knacks with cursed energy (puppets, garden gnomes, ceramic figurines, other peoples’ family photos, etc)
-spent too much money on awful thrift store clothes
-made a valiant attempt to bring silly bandz back
-ate over 100 rolls of smarties in a 48-hour period
-ignored the fact that i had the flu or something for a week. just genuinely did not realize until someone pointed it out
-locked myself in a school bathroom stall with my friends so i could draw sunglasses on her nipples with expo marker
-got in trouble for holding a baby doll like a real baby in english class
-filled said baby with chocolate milk and barbecue sauce “to feed it” and punted it across the bathroom
-bought my friend a custom life-sized body pillow of her fav actor for her birthday and hid it in her locker for a terrifying morning surprise
-bought a ball gag at goodwill
-gave a chemistry presentation to my entire class and forgot to remove the slide with a picture of a frog with a speech bubble that said “hnnng… i need… your spit”
-ate a lock of wig hair for a video that we were filming
-accidentally yelled “FUCK” in french class as soon as the room had gone silent
-kept loose cheese puffs in my desk drawer
-kept a dixie cup of chocolate chips in my desk drawer
-accidentally came into possession of 78 decorative gourds and didnt know where to put them so i left them in the top of my locker and they rotted
-got in trouble in sixth grade on valentines day for giving a boy a small potato instead of a paper valentine
-tried to wriggle my body through a saint patrick’s day wreath at a thrift store and got very, very, very stuck
-was the ringbearer for a wedding and said “oh, swag” on reflex when i dropped the rings
-challenged myself to write all my in-class essays so that they could be read to the tune of ‘two trucks’ and no one ever found out
-brought pot brownies to an anime convention
-stayed up for days on end until i was so tired that i fell asleep while writing an in-class essay and kept writing gibberish while fully asleep
-got an a in a class where i literally never turned in the homework
-changed my text tone to an audio recording of my best friend saying something embarrassing
-went through a phase where i would write several pages of notes on one page in different colors until it looked like just horrible scribbles “to save paper”
-bought parchment and a quill pen on amazon and used them to take notes
-had to leave a party early but i was eating fishsticks and i wasnt done so i put them all in my coat pocket
-kept loose dumplings in my hoodie pocket
-wore a fanny pack with a speaker in it and blasted ‘two trucks’ and also used the fanny pack to carry a bag of gummi worms and give them to people when they were upset that i called ‘emotional support worms’
-bought a whole-ass rocking horse and then took it home on the bus
-drank monster energy out of my parents’ wedding-gift wine glasses
-babysat some kids and helped them turn the entire first floor of their house into a fort for a brutal nerf gun war
-started a black market in third grade where the primary trade was colored pencils and cap erasers
-made direct eye contact with my teacher and said ‘because i am a dumbass’ when asked why i didnt have the homework
-went to a burger place where the workers yell out the order numbers and when they yelled “69!” muscle memory took over and i yelled back “NICE”
-tried to convince my friend to chug a glass of dairy free creamer until i got tired of waiting and grabbed it out of her hands and chugged it myself
-bought an animatronic bear at a thrift store and spent an hour trying to pry open the battery case to discover that it sings When I’m 64. like the whole song all the way through
-got lost in best buy for two hours and ended up leaving with a Dory backpack that was on sale
-kept a headless antique mannequin in my room at the foot of my bed to train myself out of feeling fear
-in fifth grade i attempted to physically fight another fifth grader over our minecraft fanfiction
-skipped swimming class for an entire trimester and somehow faced no repercussions
-stole a girl’s hair out of her hairbrush in fourth grade and used it for crafts
-pinned my friend to the floor and rubbed a gluestick on her face i don’t remember why
-got my friends to pool all our money at sky high so we could put cotton eyed joe into the jukebox as many times as possible
-started an uprising against our lunchtime therapist in fourth grade by convincing all of my friends to make warriors ocs with me instead of participating in the activities (this culminated in the four of us getting kicked out of lunchtime therapy)
-made my first friend in high school because she saw me secretly eating twizzlers out of my sleeve in english class
-found loose jelly beans in my school bag and ate them without question
#richie#it (2017)#it (movie)#richie tozier#finn wolfhard#i will probably... have to add to this because. i will remember/do more#this is adhd culture though
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Kid Brother
Part 1 with more to come!!! I know it’s a little dry but I was trying to set up this fic. Feedback is helpful but I hope you guys enjoy this anyway!!!! 💛
————–
You had never seen him as anything other than your best friend’s kid brother. He was only about two years younger than you but two years was tripled when you and your best friend were mature 13 year olds gossipping about your latest crushes and he was a tiny 11 year old menace trying to find an excuse to ruin your night. But I guess some things never changed because here he was, trying to ruin your girls’ night once again.
“Could you maybe stay upstairs so you don’t interfere with the night?” I ask, exasperated because this was the fourth time Joe tried to sneak downstairs for the food we had made earlier. The girls were trying to decide on what to watch and I had popped into the kitchen to grab the rest of the cookies out of the oven.
“It’s not my fault whatever you girls baked smells so bloody good!”
I roll my eyes as he reaches for the cookies cooling on the counter. “Okay just take one because you’ve already eaten half-!” I try to compromise as I jump back from his outstretched hand. “I swear Joeseph I feel like we’re back in primary school.”
He gets a goofy grin on his face, the same one he’s always given-especially when he was trying to get out of trouble. It was charming, at times, but right now I wanted to wipe it off his face with my dishcloth as he reaches for the plate I’ve filled.
“Stop it!” I try to shield the cookies with my body and place them behind me on the counter top but I was a fool to think this would stop him. He reaches around me until his arms encircle my waist as he grabs another. I turn in his embrace and find myself inches away from his face which suddenly grows serious as he swallows. My face heats up as the blood rushes to my face and I try to say something to lighten the serious mood but my mind is frozen and all I can think about is how intoxicating the cologne Joe’s wearing is and that if I leaned in slightly-
“You’ve got a birthmark on your hairline,” He suddenly interrupts and my hands fly to where the stupid mark lies. I used to be self conscious about the thing as kids made fun of me but then I got bangs and then I would cover it with makeup and I hadn’t given it a second thought until now. I pull my hair forward to cover it instinctively as my face blushes thirty shades of pink.
“Sod off,” I push Joe’s hands away from me and grab the plate to make my way back to where Pretty Woman was starting.
“What took so long?” Zoe asks as she reaches for a cookie.
“Your brother was trying to eat them all,” I say as I roll my eyes, flopping down beside Anna and grabbing my glass of wine. I stare at the screen but Julia Roberts is far away as my heart still beats like jello. It was nothing, I try to tell myself, I was just caught off guard and ew! That’s Zoe’s kid brother who shot Nerf guns at us when he was 10 and who cried to us after his first girlfriend (age 9) dumped him and who threw up all over me after we sneaked him his first drink. I’ve just been single for too long and I was getting my signals mixed up.
“Ugh I just love her hair,” Naomi sighs as Julia Roberts wakes up on screen. “It’s kinda like yours Y/N!” She exclaims.
“Yeah but Y/N’s is brown and it’s not as big,” Poppy comments from her seat.
“You have to see her hair when we tease it then!” Zoe laughs and looks over at me but I miss the joke and just give her a smile. She looks at me funny, “You alright?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I flash her a smile and hold up my wine. “Already a little tipsy and just-” I throw my hands in the hair which makes everyone giggle.
“Better switch to coffee then Y/N.” Zoe reminds me because we promised no hangovers tomorrow. We were all gonna be up bright and early to watch the sun rise. “I’ll put on a pot.” Zoe goes to get up but I jump up. “You’re sweet but I know where it is! Don’t bother pausing!” I say as Anna reaches for the remote.
I rush out of there and the first thing I do is splash my face with water. I fill a glass with water and down it first before I realise I had downed too many liquids too fast. Just as I reach the bathroom door, Joe steps out.
“Might not want to go in there,” he jokes.
“That’s disgusting!” I step away from the door and look at Joe in disgust. This was more like it, I try to think. He was a disgusting boy who I would never ever even consider for a second to be in to!
“Hey?” Joe calls as I turn to find another toilet. I turn back around and raise my eyebrow. “I didn’t mean anything by the birthmark comment, I just forgot you had one there.”
My hand reaches up again and I laugh it off, “Yeah, whatever Sugg!” I take the stairs two at a time to get upstairs. I didn’t wanna stay anywhere near him tonight, especially if he planned on being sweet.
But of course with the way the night was going, just as I finish up upstairs I pass Zoe’s guest room where Joe is laying with his back slumped against the headboard, probably editing his newest video. I watch him for a few seconds but he catches me lingering.
“Hey come in here,” he motions me forward laughing. “Look at this clip. I was going for a scare prank on Oli right,” he trails off explaining what he planned on doing and how Oli’s reaction just made the whole prank “golden.” I smile at his enthusiasm and the way his smile brings out his laugh lines but by the time I watch the clip, I’m in stitches myself.
“That’s funny as shit but poor Oli!” I say between tears. “He’s too sweet and cute to mess with!”
Joe’s laughter dies down as he raises his eyebrow, “He’d be over the moon if he knew you called him cute.”
“Then you should let him know,” I tease but this makes Joe’s expression completely blank. “Yeah, I guess. Then you two can go out on a date although I’m sure after an hour with him-”
“Oi what’re you two doing up here?” A voice calls out from the doorway. I jump up guiltly, wiping away the tears that had left streaks on my face.
“Hey Zoe look at this,” Joe calls his sister over, our tense conversation over. “It’s the prank footage I was telling you about.” He starts laughing all over again streaming but Zoe waves her hand. “Lord I’m trying to have a Girl’s Night Joe, leave my friends alone! Y/N I’m grabbing some face masks I’ll see you downstairs?” She wiggles her eyebrows and then dissappears from the doorway. I stare at her retreating figure in confusion. What was that supposed to mean?
“I won’t keep you,” Joe says to my back so I turn around to face him.
“It’s nothing,” I say.
“Nah go on I’m just gonna finish editing this. I heard there’s a stripper downstairs anyway.” He teases.
“Oh you’re so clever,” I stick my tongue out at him as I back out but he throws a pillow at me which I manage to just catch before it hits my face.
“Thank you!” I hold it up as I exit the room.
“No wait!” Joe yells. “That was the fluffy pillow!”
I laugh as I skip downstairs and I use the pillow to cushion my head on the sofa. But as I nod off an hour into the movie, I catch the faint whisper of Joe’s cologne and groan internally. This could not possible be happening.
#joe sugg#joe sugg imagines#thatcher joe#thatcherjoe#thatcherjoe imagine#joe sugg imagine#zoella#zoe sugg#olie white#youtube imagines#thatcherjoe imagines#oli white#kidbrother
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
Huge Roundup of News! Guests! Merchants! Musicians! A Freakin' War! Wait, what?!
Finally managed to punch a hole through those scramblers. Nice try mates, but you can’t stop the signal! So let’s get a run down of what’s going on with those crazy pones setting up that TrotCon thing next month!
First off, another VIP guest announcement. Where do they find them?
Announcing an oldie but a goodie: Heather Breckel is back at TrotCon!
Breckel is of course best known on our end as the colorist for the IDW Publishing comic series for My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic that’s been a perfect complement to the TV show through its existence. You read one of the comics? Chances are you laid your eyes on some of her work. And loved it. Duh.
Beyond that, Breckel (a Columbus, Ohio native too! Imagine that!) has worked in similar capacities across other titles, including IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series and Godzilla: Half Century War, Image Comics’ Peter Panzerfaust, Dark Horse Comics’ Number 13, plus some of her personal projects, like Angie Ruins Fire Emblem.
She’ll be back for panels this year as well as spending time in our vendor hall.
Wait, vendor hall. We gotta announce who’s in that still, right?
OK, let’s.
We’ve got 56 tables of TrotCon-y goodness this year, same pony place, same pony time. Both the vendor listing AND map is now available on our website, with further additions and subtractions possible depending on… eh, y’know, the usual.
Point is, chances are about 95 percent of this is going to stay exactly the same by the time TrotCon rolls around this July.
In addition to Heather Breckel and a few of our community guests (along with some fellow conventions! Hi, fellow conventions!), you’ll find many of the awesome vendors that usually adorn TrotCon’s vendor hall (some of whom have been around since we started up in 2012), along with new faces.
Go on. Check it out. Figure out what you’re gonna buy this year. You know you wanna.
Dig. It.
Next up, this signal has been looping endlessly for weeks:
Announcing: the Battle for Bottlecap Canyon!
The truck driver pressed his hoof down on the gas pedal sending more nuclear power to the wheels. “I’ve gotta get all these caps to the bottling plant” he said to himself “If they can’t meet the quota for the new Peanut Bucker Cola release, my head will roll.”
As the truck approached the bridge spanning a canyon, a bright light flashed in the distance, growing brighter than the sun within a millisecond! The driver covered his eyes as he was blinded by the mushrooming explosion, causing the truck to swerve over the bridge railing and fall into the canyon. “AAAAAAAAAAH, Buck me!” the driver exclaimed.
Had anyone been around, onlookers would have observed a smaller explosion in the base of the canyon… as the truck full of bottle caps burns in its own nuclear fire, sending the cargo all over the canyon floor.
Countless years later, tales about a canyon of riches came out of the wasteland, from the dying words of an old scavenger. No one has ever found it…Until now!
Three factions descend upon the canyon, all aiming to claim the hoard of caps. So grab your Nerf blaster, pony up with your team, and fight for the glory of Bottlecap Canyon!
That’s right everypony! It’s a Nerf war!
Scavenge the wasteland for bottle caps to support your faction, but watch out, the other factions will try to stop you and claim the caps for themselves. Each team will have a base to keep their caps at, and the wasteland between bases will have containers hiding precious caps and more Nerf ammo.
The event has a $5 entry fee, but if you bring your own blaster, there is a discount! Ammunition is provided (standard darts only; no rival, disc, mega, or missile are available).
The event runs several times during the convention, including a sponsors only “free session” on Friday! That’s right, if you are a sponsor, you get in for free!
Did we mention that ALL sponsor tiers also get a Nerf Blaster with their loot box? Well, they do: The higher the tier, the better the blaster! What better way to try out your new Nerf blaster than hunting the wasteland for bottle caps? Sponsor badges help the convention and come with all kinds of goodies, registration for sponsors ends on June the 14th, so you better hurry up!
Sounds like a great stash of free caps. And you know what they say, trade will save the wastes. Or something like that. If any of you listening plan on staking a claim, be careful out there. You’re certainly not the only one.
And finally, this broadcast just came through:
Each year, TrotCon is chock full of some killer community guests who are doing some really cool things in the fandom, and 2017 is no different.
After all, we’ve already announced our share of special guests who you’ll be able to meet at TrotCon 2017, including Harmony Studios, ChocoPony, TheBronyCritic, TJ Carson, and the folks of Pony 411. Business as usual, ya know?
Y’all ready to double that list, though?
Cool, because that’s exactly what’s about to happen.
With our final major community guest announcement push for 2017, we’d like to announce the following:
–Fire Team Harmony! Y’all’ve seen them around TrotCon for a bit now as well as other pony conventions across the country, and this year we’re vaulting them up a notch to VIP status. Righteous, yeah? Check out these fandom-beloved cosplayers around the convention, say hi, even check ’em out at their own panels!
–DaThings1! We’ve had Luke/DaThing1, purveyor of some of the best YouTube Poops this side of the Mississippi (or west of it… just anywhere, really). Well, he’s back again, and this time he’s got the third installment of the “Wow! It’s Made” series to show off, along with how-tos and other demonstrations. Get ready to laugh.
–Joe Dyer! Ya boy is known as volrathxp on FIMfiction, where he wrote the popular fic ‘Fallout Equestria: Starlight’ (and since our theme is post-apocalyptic… well, ya know), among others. He’ll be on hand to discuss fan fiction, side fiction, and much more. Writers, you’re gonna want to get in on his stuff.
–Hobbes Maxwell! A longtime member of our vendor hall (where he’ll be again this year, naturally), Hobbes is on hand (hoof? Ugh, this horse pun stuff gets tiring after six years, y’all) for multiple panels and events, including some of our after-dark content in the wee hours of the morning. C’mon, ingest a Red Bull or two and stay up late. Worth. It.
–WeimTime! A last-minute addition to our panel programming last year (so late, he wasn’t even in the conbook or online schedule), we’ve got WeimTime back this year and part of our community guest roster this time around. Learn from the owner of the highly successful YouTube channel and business of the same name, which is known for its animation as well as the Synthesia and WeimTime Plays online series, and take a trip down memory line with his Nostalgia Time panel.
–Robin from My Little Robin! You know the dude from the My Little Robin: Reviewing Is Magic series? Yeah, we got the heck outta him for TrotCon 2017. He’ll be doing a live episode of the show as well as throwing a bit of a party commemorating four years of reviewing ponies on the internet. Aspiring reviewer? Good guy to check out.
We’re also excited to welcome back the Traveling Pony Museum, who’s been at every TrotCon since the beginning. Catch ’em in the vendor hall or in their own room with an assortment of awesome pony-related wares from the beginning of the fandom’s lifetime to now!
Whole lotta exclamation points up there. Hope y’all got that.
We’re also officially announcing our musician lineup for 2017! How about that?
If you follow us on Twitter, you’ve already seen this, but for those of you who don’t (ya should! @TrotCon), let’s get ya a list:
We’ve got Chang31ing and Goggles for the fifth (FIFTH!) year! MogulDash for a fourth! They’re all alongside multiple other performers who’ve been with us in the past, including PonyFireStone, IvoryBrony, end_of_file, R3CTIFIER and JESUSKIDZ. And then we’ve got our rookies: Luck Rock, Versal, DJ Rod, Fennec Faux, and Iggy the Kidd.
13 musicians, folks. How can we contain ’em all? Oh, that’s right: by expanding to TWO NIGHTS of performances this year! We’ll be hosting a short, later-hours set on Friday to get you warmed up for the big event Saturday.
And then, y’know, the musician panel on Sunday, like usual. We are nothing if not creatures of habit.
Let’s see. One last thing.
Oh, right: our pre-registration for 2017 closes soon! In fact, sponsor badges for 2017 are over and done with on June 14, followed by weekend badges on June 20. After that point, you won’t be able to purchase a badge for 2017 until the con itself, at the door and for a larger price.
You really aren’t gonna want to miss out. This is important.
That’s right folks. Today is your LAST DAY to get a sponsor badge. And they come with sweet perks. Like your own Nerf gun. Something no wasteland wanderer can live without. So act soon, time is running out!
#trotcon#trotcon 2017#heather breckel#nerf#nerf war#battle for bottlecap canyon#vendors#merchants#fire team harmony#dathings1#joe dyer#hobbes maxwell#boiler3#weimtime#my little robin#robin0928#traveling pony museum#chang31ing#green tinted goggles#moguldash#ponyfirestone#ivorybrony#end_of_file#r3ctifier#jesuskidz#luck rock#versal#dj rod#fennec faux#iggy the kidd
7 notes
·
View notes
Link
"Right"?!!!! o2 oK jUS breeeath i-K-no-W=oOW-twenty uNo YEARS of remembrance, the flying times, the Y-2 soon, hey BooBoo! & "HeyYouGuys"! Electric/"StaticCompany" un'RealizED. 💡 (ideas) RIPed. Little bit liquid 📺,a dash of heatED.D-Bait ~hookED. On phonics-vs-Ebonics (Norton)ed. Spoon Feeding G-MazZ & oG'z POP'ahhs A-DasHe'dD of Voc. BreakING down on the YIN-YangG stage like cCrOss-firED. Heated freedom debating with the black|white line drawn down the center of Hot-Topics, meltdown transitions via be back in two&two wit luv connections CHuck-abbey or ObBey that Giant Client Art Biz- compared and contrasting facts vs FAX, guess sponsors lead Mr Whipples squeezing addictions, Carols Mop vs Mob Closets after the shows Bloopers Gone WildER. MadDad plots to snagG the Bad Guys with the help of a few good fellows re-Union reunited (and it feels so good, need a razorback haircut:fellas bring in the boar'dD. NeverC c music factory members only free passAGE to FEAR INC. breaking down the Benny's for any whistlers that can name that tune before the SOAP Sands of time and the hourglass runs out, with Bill Nye and Tyson DeGrassE calls Spider Man, or Dr Phil, heck House,StrangeLove, since we got the Motts, and a time machine made from a GTO, and one from a Red and White Chevy Coop, WhoopWhoop, is that the CarRrrrrrrrrr Maaaaaaaa, Poes bedtime dittys, and Huey Lewis backing up the new with guest anchor Howard the Duck, Donald telling Nephews Huey it to late for little duck rogers and that half century in frustrations, still waiting on McFlys Release, cameo and name drops like Dexakota Droopy Daddy , and fill in the blank do it yourself at home you idioms, are you smarter the a K-12 these daze all blurRed and confused, no good stuff for the kid in you, prenatal Vitaminwater and a splashing, dunk in the question-able controversial drinking waters of standardized practices, ethics redefined methods and the playDoe response time of law and order. Hopefully get the ]aS[sist with pats and handshakes of the S.Green and BlessedD by McFarLandERs crew to take on those big bad data hoards of hidden monopoly monsters in the attic,the cellars and Hey Carol Berrnet, can you get the dustpan out of the hidden good riddance closet company, those under the rug sweeping package deal-e-O , find a sewer,find a leak, find the little god and dam em'all so one day we may be able to sleep in peace without the horse head found in a poor mans bed, with color crazied observers waiting their turn to deep freeze their own heads for future-Roma dunce shelving, next to their favorite dead presidents, what a tall drink of water, the hippie hip of fresh, and who needs to breath on Mars anyway, haven't they seen Arnold's , Hey Around (cartoon btw) how'dD your eyes feel after you got sucked out that Mission Two Mars, throw the mutant out the window, oh what, wait he is one of ours, nobody likes the other guys color red for catch-up, Hunt for something intelligent out there first before you bother opening that door markED d-Secret stash of Pandora and her that's Incredible Show by choice, or force, by dreams or those Hunts while sleeping Deeper in REM version of TommyBoys and Girls all watch the ball and sing a long, hey JOE, where are you going with that... It's a Jimmy thing in your hand, fix the ball that doesn't bounce, or be a better aim with the Nerf BB gun bully bullets with butterfly wings in Malaysia, that grrrreat, find me another Tiger for Tony, we are leaving the big aA 4 Montana, getting all the good dads on file, and we are going camping, shipping in like Ellis Island a game reserve, tagging predators with Chips, have me holding Swiss cheese signs reading To New York (Tony), badD guys are forever named Tony's uNo, unless they are Grandfathered Inn, Escapes a Far Cry after paranoia plays havoc with insiders trading listSinER, for get about it, smile your on candidate candid camera, with A World gone crazy, and family Funtime is lacking, after schools demanding the united to sit down with the kids and let them teach you what they did learn in school, every home no longer a gun but a stick, a bigG stick worth a full 316 bald guy inspired Austin TX. Your welcome, last stand, attention pleas, who ever gets the history lesson questions right before 3 strikes get a 10min Rampage with full screen HD envy the rest, the new and improved SORRY mad-e by POPS with a little love from Sam the Uncle, and the Butcher Too. Feeding the hungry Yogie Bears of the Rockys and any other don't get lost out there, family fun night alternating and mandatory, like the census or taxes, Neison rates the statistics and AOL digs deep in those lost and found, B-ing gets the S-Wing while Yahoo! Gets firsts dibs after the from this point on moral fabric of the Matrix gets all calls and filtering powers MSN gets to go darker than Dark after hours, Jeckle gives Hide the ok to Seek in the forbidden areas of commerce, spy vs spy gets grey and redrawn by daybreak the lines of right vs wrong, this vs that, who get to purge, who fasts til the neXt night time showing, Rodger the Rabid Rabbit shows Rodger More secrets then any pre-or post double 0's ever wanted to know, Redefined Epic spoofing of SpyHard get a legit static stasis, absurd becoming relevant , idiots getting FaceTime on NotFOXYenuff trilogy enuff realizes finally that it could never be... enough. Bob cat Screams "Hey You Guys" Bane is the Hero that says nothing in anticipated camE-O-S and Martin Larance sound bite starts it off, "WELLCOME TO HELL BITCH" Little Suzy gets the Uzi, and mom and dad flip. for drone cone control. And somewhere in real time, Bill Mare is Shaking his head in disbelief, as he is ask to guest star as Host to Host , Mike to Ike and Space Ghost drops the Mic on the Sprint vs Verizon cage match at the center of the black and white, fine print fair or festival, live and let die fine line ? About %and Y set up, upgrades and Southpark is the best way to feed you family the GoodBadUgly truth, in the next episode of this is you life, brought to you bye the letter ((•Y•)) & U , F-like andDdick crashing always everywhere every time, Y-K"not" You A Funny Guy Co U Sin Vinnie , What happened to Spider 🕷, you hate bugs I know, rats even more so, moles are not voles, get an enPshcoLaPeezDeeAhhh Webster get of MJs lap, you way to old you know better , exceptionalism's will be considered in drawning the weekly contestants from the official offensive offenders list. Shock and aweSHIT will be redefined by the best that no money can buy. Droned head start programs will be offered free at your local anaconda or library. Futures so bright, a little birdie told me, whistled actually so absurd 80s tune not picked in the GTA soundtrack anyway, Gotta Ware Shades, n0 respect, Tall and Fat , help me Rodney Dangerfield, (BACK TO SCHOOL) can I keep Pauly , got some things in the basement I gotta figure out, sickining me something awful, perhaps if I could go beat some carcasses, frozen side-shows of Moo-B's Ink. Dance to the aAbBcC's on the rooftops with the cast of friends and Kevin Smith and get the kick in the as by a better human then most, AMY the mars cat will help Arnold put his eyes back in his head, red blinders won't be all seen in the end of show, tantrums will fade out to a happy toon , maybe classical and instrumental versions at a slower role/ tempo Sunday Monday happy days, Tuesday Wensday happy days trursday Friday happppy daze SATERNDaY what a day got some ring for you... Ohh Henry / winkler vs Rolland's (Cane vs Able) Netflix playing he didn't die, I believe u&i..DK
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I might not have gotten my pipe dream wishes granted, but the Dragalia Digest was still a very pleasant surprise overall, and I have a lot of thoughts on it now, lol
TL;DR: *Joe and Xania voice* mom said it’s our time to be meta flame units :)
I still want a Switch port for this game eventually, but I can’t complain about not getting one when basically everything else about the Digest was good, lol.
It ended up feeling a bit more . . . conservative with some of the announcements they made, but that might be for the best since the game’s in a bit of a precarious state. So playing it safe is probably a good idea.
I was a bit worried that they might announce more aggressive monetization schemes, but the New Years packs and stuff seem pretty much in line with how these things have been done up till now, and basically nothing else about the shop has been changed aside from the UI stuff.
The Agito fights and the 6-star weapons were my biggest concern going into this since it could make or break people’s patience with the game, but it seems on paper like it hits a good middle ground. The requirements to access the Agito fights seem relatively low, and the 6-star weapons seem to be be around the level of a HDT1, so I think that hits a good balance of being strong but not powercreep-y in a way that puts off people who’ve been grinding for HDT2 weapons. The fact that they announced in advance that higher difficulties for the Agito fights and higher tiers of the 6-star weapons will be added later makes me think that they’re trying to roll out this stuff much more slowly than the HDT stuff in order to control the powercreep more and not overwhelm people, which is a good idea. I imagine that Expert or Master Agito fights will probably expect you to have something like a HDT2 weapon, but by the time those fights get released it probably won’t be a big deal.
The Mana Spiral upgrades also seem way more potent than I was expecting, across the board. I can’t access the main website at the moment so I don’t have a full picture of what the buffs are like, but from what I’ve been reading they all sound like pretty huge buffs that will go a long way toward making more units more meta, or at least more accepted, in end-game content.
For one thing, the Mana Spirals are gonna let us level up a unit to level 100, which is a nice surprise. It seems like that alone gives units a pretty big upgrade to their HP and strength, which should make it way easier to meet certain thresholds.
It also looks like basically every single skill and ability of each unit is getting a new upgrade level, which is way more than I was expecting. I figured that only the second skill and one of the abilities of each unit would get an upgrade, but this is a way bigger buff than I thought. They even buffed stuff like skill prep/status resistance 100% abilities by adding new effects to them, which is great.
It looks like Ezelith and Naveed are going to be way stronger in general across the board, which I appreciate, but I’m more hyped for the 3-star Mana Spiral upgrades, since those seem like a really big deal. It sounds like basically every flame unit that got a Mana Spiral upgrade here can now inflict burn with basically any attacking skills they have, which seems like a really big deal. If Mikoto in particular can get an upgrade like that later, I have a feeling that Rena might fall out of favour in HMS due to there being way more options for burn enablers who don’t have to worry as much about stuff like getting stunned. In general the idea of Xania being able to inflict burn with both of her skills is kinda crazy, lol. It makes me relieved that I went ahead and got her to 50MC a while ago. I think she might actually be better than S-Maribelle with these upgrades [until she gets buffed too], but I really want to get more info on how her kit changes with these buffs. Sadly Marty doesn’t seem to be getting buffed yet since he wasn’t a launch unit, but hopefully everyone will get Mana Spirals in the long run.
It’s also exciting that they’re giving these upgrades to random 4-star units as well. It gives me hope that Thaniel will get buffed later on so that he’s closer to if not better than Jiang Ziya.
They also decided to give Botan and Cassandra buffs in this initial batch which is kinda funny to me. Botan at least makes sense since the event with her is getting rerun really soon so it’s a good time to buff her, but Cassandra getting buffed right out the door is so obviously them going ‘we’re sorry about the whole Gleo thing’, lol. They also apparently nerfed HJP in a way that makes bleed and poison way better against him, and I think they added poison to Cassandra’s kit, so it really feels like they’re trying to address the issues with HJP. Which I appreciate. And I think that this is probably the best way to handle it, since this makes it way more viable to have different types of team comps there than just four Gleos.
It’ll be interesting to see if we start getting characters soon who have their Mana Spiral upgrades built into their kits right away, while older units get theirs slowly patched in. I guess we’ll see what happens with the new zodiac units.
And on that note we’ve got at least some info about the new zodiac event/banner, and it all looks pretty neat. I was wondering how they’re gonna handle it, but it looks like they’re gonna do a really short rerun of the Ieyasu event to bridge Christmas and New Years before getting into a new raid event for the new zodiac units. Which seems like a pretty great way to handle it. I wouldn’t be too surprised if they do this every year from now on, especially if each new zodiac event story builds upon the stuff from the Ieyasu event story.
On top of it just being a relief that this isn’t JUST gonna be rerun central yet again, I’m really happy that the new units are gonna be [mostly] light-element, lol. That was my main wish for them, honestly. My light roster just feels really weak so I want more good ones, but I don’t want to bother chasing after DY-Malora. It’s kinda surprising that it looks like the main 5-star banner unit is gonna be a 5-star light dagger, while the 4-stars are a blade and a wand. I guess this makes it a bit less likely that Gala Luca will be a light dagger, so maybe he’ll be a light blade or something instead. With how . . . iffy daggers are as a weapon type, the new main 5-star unit doesn’t really seem like they interest me much, and Nobunaga being a 5-star flame blade is kinda annoying and unoriginal in general, but I’ll probably still summon on the banner. Hanabusa and Chitose at least look neat. One of them will probably be the welfare unit, but I hope that the introduction of Mana Spiral upgrades means that event welfare units won’t be held back by bad kits anymore. Botan’s getting some pretty big upgrades, so I hope the new welfare unit follows suit.
I was gonna complain a bit about this banner mostly being female characters, but the more I think about it the more I could see either Chitose or Mitsuhide being a boy, so I’m gonna just wait and see how it goes, lol.
It looks like the banner during the Ieyasu rerun is gonna just be a rate-up banner for the units getting Mana Spiral upgrades, and the new zodiac banner seems to have two 5-star adventurers on it [plus the dragon], so it’s looking like they might not be bringing Ieyasu back. Or if they do he might just not be on rate-up like what happens with gala units. Which would suck since I still want to get him, but it’s not a huge deal if I miss out on them. I’m still hoping that they might eventually add zodiac units into the permanent pool so that we don’t miss out on them permanently, but that’s a bit of a pipe dream.
The ‘prize showcase’ stuff seems . . . interesting, but I probably still won’t do more than just the free daily tenfolds for the next banner. I don’t want to be tempted right before the NY banner, especially since I already have all of the units getting Mana Spiral upgrades, so it’s a pretty useless banner for me.
I also just wanna point out that Ebisu is an EXTREMELY good cat dragon and I love him :)
It’s not a big surprise to me that we’re getting a platinum summon for the NY banner, but it’s interesting to me that you’ll be able to do the adventurer and dragon platinum banners three times each. I guess it’s their way of getting a bit more profit out of people, but it’s something I can deal with. It’s still a relatively low limit on how much diamantum you can spend on it, and it looks like there’s only gonna be three 5-star units to worry about, if you include the dragon, so you might not even need to summon three times on each one to get what you want.
To be completely honest I’m not a F2P player, but I doubt I’d do more than like one of the adventurer platinum summons. Mostly because the new 5-stars just don’t interest me a whole lot, from what we’ve seen of them. I’ll at least use my regular summoning resources first and see what I get. With the resources I’ll have stocked up by the time the event starts, I should be able to do over 200 summons on it right away, so hopefully that’ll get me what I want. Then I’ll start saving for the next gala.
Oh yeah and they also officially announced the Monster Hunter collab, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, lmao. I’m not into that series so I don’t really have anything to say about it, but I’m glad that lots of people seem excited about it. It seems a bit boring that we might only be getting a free dragon out of it, but oh well.
Anyway I’m pretty happy with everything they showed. All of the stuff with the new bosses, weapons, adventurer buffs, etc etc, really seem like they’re going to go a long way toward making the endgame less punishing, and team comps more varied. It looks like they’re addressing a lot of the main issues people have had, so I’m glad they seem to be handling it well.
#murasaki rambles#dragalia lost#now to wait and hope that Thaniel gets a Mana Spiral upgrade soon to make him more meta for the endgame#Rena be out there seeing all these new burn afflicting units like 'I'm in danger :)))'
0 notes
Text
Friday the 13th in October! You couldn’t ask for a better month for such an evil day. That’s why we’re sharpening our machetes and kissing our mothers severed head so long as we review the Friday the 13th series! Hold on to your nuts because we’re breaking down a crap load of horror films for one single day. Man I’m so excited to watch every Friday the 13th film over again. I haven’t done this since I was a teenager! It’s going to be EPIC! Jason is so cool. Slicing and dicing his way through all these people! Jason is the most recognizable villain of all time and his movies are the longest running horror series so how can it be bad? Look at all these movie posters!
JUST LOOK IT THEM ALL!
Take it from Michael Bay, if you have something good (or just marketable to stupid children) then you just make it over and over and over and over again. No matter how many times people cry ‘stop!’
Oh yea, be mindful of the progression of plot changes for each movie. After I awoke in the hospital after watching all of them. I finally remembered what they’re all about. It took a while, but it all came back to me. Let me tell you something, the Friday the 13th films have some serious drug users writing their scripts.
Friday the 13th – 1980
In the peaceful campgrounds of Camp Crystal Lake, young counselors are preparing for a long summer. Little do they know that terror lurks within the woods, seeking the right opportunity to slaughter and punish those seen guilty!
Killer is Pamela Voorhees, not Jason Voorhees.
Friday The 13th Part 2 – 1981
Five years after the slaughter of Camp Crystal Lake, a neighboring camp is prepping for the summer. With the bloody events and the memory of Mrs. Voorhees just fire side chats; it seems that this summer will be one to remember.
Jason appears wearing a burlap sack instead of a hockey mask. Does not use the machete.
Friday the 13th Part 3 – 1982
A day after the events of part 2, Jason Voorhees escapes and is wondering Crystal Lake, killing and surviving. Jason soon comes along a group of friends staying in a vacation home named Higgins Haven. This will be one vacation of blood splattering 3D slaughter!
The iconic image of the machete wielding hockey mask Jason finally appears. Also, more creative and brutal deaths. Not centered at a summer camp.
Friday The 13th – The Final Chapter – 1984
It’s summer and the all girls camp, Camp Walden is underway! Which means fun, excitement and personal discovery. But for our young red head girl Annie; this summer will be more than she bargained for. Forced to spend the rest of the summer with another girl named Jason Voorhees the two who were once enemies discover a friendship far greater than just friends. Annie and Jason are sisters! Twin sister to be precise. Discovering of their parents divorce; it’s now the mission of these two ladies to bring their love torn parents back together! Join us with spectacular fun and a rip roaring Disney grandpa humping good time with Friday the 13th Part 4!
Friday The 13th – A New Beginning – 1985
Convicted for a murder he did not commit, Jason Voorhees will remain the rest of his days as a prisoner in Shawshank prison. His only friend, an Asian African American Jewish Rabbi woman named Pedro. Pedro is Jasons one source of power to fuse the the alternate dinosaur dimension and our very own together. But first he has to get rid of those pesky plumbers! But before that they must kill the chosen one that would bring balance to the force! Once more the sith will rule the galaxy and Jason Voorhees will become the next Captain of the SS Enterprise. With the use of a magical asteroid stone, Jason will gather all his strength and resources to correct the wrongs of society and bring justice once more to the people of Eternia. I HAVE THE POWER!! Rated PG-13.
Friday the 13th – Jason Lives – 1986
Jason Voorhees must carry the ring of power to mount Sinai and battle a crazed Charlton Heston with a sword made of Nerf! With the help of his handicapped brother Lloyd Christmas; Jason will sacrifice everything in order to help keep his altimeters stricken wife happy. It seems reading from a personal journal to her every day really doesn’t mean anything when the bitch can’t remember jack! Join in the action and adventure as Jason embarks on a ride across a barren wasteland to bring a group of hot teens freedom from their over possessive Mormon dictator husband Immortan Joe. Rated PG-13.
Friday the 13th – The New Blood – 1988
A girl named Tina that happens to be a witch, helps break out her little brother Jason Voorhees from a mental institution. Tina discovers that Jason is a Nintendo prodigy and they go to California for Jason to compete in a NES championship for a new awesome NES game titled Friday The 13th! Headed across the country Tina and Jason embark on many adventures and bond! Maybe even healing with the help of each other. Join us for this family friendly romp! Rated R for sexual content.
Friday the 13th – Jason Takes Manhattan – 1989
Jason Voorhees and his team of muppets have just graduated from college. Armed with enthusiasm and hope, the team decides to take their musical Manhattan Melodies straight to Broadway. Our friends are going to be stars! But being a hit on Broadway isn’t as easy as one would think. Lots of sexual frustration and static electricity. Things are a giant mess! Especially for a machete toting killer, frog, pig, bear and whatever Gonzo is. Join us on this family friendly musical! Rated PG.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday – 1993
Jason Voorhees has finally died due to a police unit hellbent on ending his reign of terror. Ahh, poor Jason. But guess what Jason is going to heaven where his son has turned into a black guy and things look and feel like a painting. But wait, Jason’s wife isn’t there and she died years ago. Oh no, we didn’t mention that suicides go to hell (not really hell, just a place you exist for eternity that reflects the feelings of your soul). Jason must travel back to the physical realm and find a body to control in order to free his wife. Join us on this spiritual journey of self reflection. Rated PG-13.

Are we done? Y-y-y-y-you mean there aren’t anymore?
WOM-WOM-WOOOM, WOM-WOM WOM WOM WOOOOM.
WHAT!? Two more films? There’s really two more Jason films? Oh please no! Tell me it’s not true!
WOM WOM WOOOOM, WOM WOM.
Wait, what’s that? I don’t have to watch them? You mean the 2009 one and that Freddy Vs Jason films don’t count! Oh thank God. Thank you so much mam.
WOM-WOM.
I love you too Charlie Brown teacher.
WOM WOM WOM!!!
I don’t mean love as in, “hey teacher let’s bang” I mean like a motherly kind of way.
WOOOOM.
Ok, so things got a little cloudy there for a while. I don’t know where my head was. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness and I had this weird Charlie Brown universe dream going on. I don’t think I can ever do another Friday the 13th marathon anymore.
So as you might have guessed after part 3, the series started taking a dive in quality. The stories were always the same and with very little plots. I guess the main purpose of the films was to show people dying in brutal ways. However, I will say that being a fan of Cabin in The Woods does put Friday the 13th into a new perspective. The stories are all the same but it’s all a part of a great ritual that keeps the old evil gods dormant. Jason is just fulfilling the duty man!
I actually do like the first and second films. The POV camera got a little annoying after the first few kills. But the third one seemed to get rid of it. I also find it interesting how Jason Voorhees isn’t even in the first film. The killer is his mother and she’s seeking sweet justice. Jason finally comes in part 2 and he’s wearing a burlap sack over his head.
By the fourth film, The Final Chapter; things just seemed to get boring. Unless you consider Crispin Glover dancing to be awesome.
From what I heard, he was actually dancing to an ACDC song “Back in Black.” Which gives reason to his insane moves. But to be honest, I played that song at the same time he was dancing and he still looks ridiculous. I will admit that Glovers death is hilarious.
Part 5 is more a psychological movie. Jason isn’t even in the film. Turns out the killer was a father of a Jason victim. He just took the mantle of killing these teens that he blamed for his kids death. It’s literally a recycling of the first film. It may have tried to take a fresh approach but it was boring to watch. Plus John Shepherd who plays the grown up Tommy is the worst actor I have seen in any Friday film.
You see that face, that’s his face the entire movie. He’s like a male version of Milla Jovovich from the crappy Resident Evil movies. Yea, she sucks in those and the movies are all garbage! She has an expression of a broken toilet!
Seriously, I don’t really have to say much about the other films because they’re all the same. Jason Takes Manhattan is a laugh fest of stupidity. Am I to believe that Jason awakens from the depths of Camp Crystal Lake, boards a cruise ship. Which then sinks in the New York Harbor!? WHO IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAME UP WITH THAT!!
I will say that Jason Goes To Hell is actually not all too bad. It kind of abandons the fornicating drugged up teens and gives the entire premise to Jason a more supernatural and solid ground. There’s actually a story involved that has structure and purpose. There were actual parts to this film that seemed less “slasher” and more monster.
It seems that this demon living in the body of Jason is what keeps him alive. But without the body this demon has to live within a host. Its not until it’s met with the blood of a Voorhees that Jason’s original state can be brought back. It’s actually a point A to point B kind of story. Yea, it still sucks but at least it’s something!
So on this Friday the 13th, let us all appreciate Jason Voorhees. Let us all watch the first three films. If you’re brave like me, go ahead and watch every movie and then jab a pen in your temple like I did.
Day 13 for HMM we're getting honest with Friday the 13th! Friday the 13th in October! You couldn't ask for a better month for such an evil day.
#Friday The 12th Part 4#Friday The 13th#Friday The 13th A New Beginning#Friday The 13th Jason Lives#Friday The 13th Jason Takes Manhattan#Friday The 13th Part 2#Friday The 13th Part 3#Friday The 13th The Final Chapter#Friday The 13th The New Blood#HMM Day 13#Horror#horror movie#Horror Movie Review 2017#Jason Voorhees#Nathan Scovell#nscovell
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
therealnejirehado
hi please follow me and my picsart @therealnejirehado tiktok gac
birdisland
Ulrika
ask-junk-and-sym
Ask the Engineers
bro3256
Brenden
forrestimel
Forrest Imel