#they got to nap on the journey for example
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Summary: You had been signed up with Joel and two other people to patrol to the radio tower in Cody. After getting there you offer to take first watch, leaving Joel coming up with a... creative idea to test how good of a sharpshooter you really are.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.7k
Rating: E
Warnings: established relationship, teasing, flirting, kissing, smut (Oral f receiving; unprotected sex; cream pie), 2 ass slaps, some biting, guns, shooting
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The ride to the radio tower in Cody was not something you looked forward to when you read your name on the patrol rotation board.
You did not particularly enjoy sitting on horseback for a longer amount of time ever since you injured your tailbone just before you got to Jackson almost four years ago. The injury had fully healed of course, but certain movements still made you sore.
But you were never one to complain and saw the bright parts of such a journey.
Spending one on one time with Joel Miller for example.
Not that you didn’t spend time with him anyway ever since he moved into your home almost two years ago. But there was something exciting knowing you and him would be almost alone for miles and miles. Well except for the two other people who were also on patrol which would be Eugene and one of the newer residents of Jackson a young woman named Katy.
„I could talk to Maria, tell her you’re sick,“ Joel offered, his chin resting on your shoulder as he stood behind you his chest against your back, his arms caging you against the counter where you prepared a big to go cup (thanks to a Starbucks raid earlier this year) with Coffee for him and a fresh mint tea for you.
„That’s awfully nice of you, but I finally convinced myself to pretend it’s like a little 3 day vacation.“
„Oh yeah?“ He asked and you nodded, smiling as you felt his nose against your neck, breathing you in.
„Jup. You know, five star accommodation in a… abandoned farmhouse, food and drinks all inclusive, spa treatments….“ You listed.
„Oh yeah I can see it. Rustic survival experience package included,“ he hummed and you chuckled.
„See? The amount of money you’d have to pay for that like twenty years ago,“ you put the lid on both of the travel cups and turned around, tilting your head up to look up at him. His hair was still wet, combed back. He had shaved a little, leaving his beard a little shorter than usual. There were tiny wrinkles around his eyes as he looked at you, a small smile on his lips, his brown eyes soft and… happy.
It was a completely different version from the Joel you met three years ago when he and Ellie first got here.
It took a lot of time and patience to get to know this version of Joel, the version he only showed to the people he loved.
You got on your tiptoes, kissing him softly on his plush lips.
„Come on, we gonna be late,“ you whispered and he pecked your lips again, sighing as he parted from you and picked up both of your already packed backpacks, leaving you to carry the cups and sandwiches you had prepared for the journey.
With your rifle over your shoulder, your backpack and a bag with some food strapped to your horse, Ellie let you borrow Shimmer, you were riding next to Joel behind Eugene and Katy who were currently playing a game of car (yeah, hilarious, they already saw one in the last three hours).
You had another hour to go and you were already looking forward to taking a nap first thing you got there. You had volunteered to take the first watch during the night, giving you perks of not having to set up camp and clearing the area of infected.
„You okay?" Joel asked and you turned your head to look at him, giving him a small smile.
„I’m fine,“ you said as he looked at you and he sighed, not believing a word.
„Want me to give you a massage later?“ He asked, riding a little closer so only you could hear him.
„I don’t know, if I can afford a spa treatment. Money is a little low,“ you teased him and he sucked his bottom lip in, shaking his head, fighting a smile.
„We’ll find a way for you to pay, don’t you worry,“ he hummed and you couldn’t help but smile at him for a moment longer before your eyes drifted away from him to watch your surroundings.
It was almost dark when you got to the radio tower in Cody. The four of you made quick work of checking the building, before you spend some time talking and eating together. You took a thirty minute nap, Joel waking you up so you could start first watch.
You were looking forward to stretching your muscles while on the watch of threats, stretching your body after riding all day. Not that something had ever happened here before when you were out on this trip.
It was getting colder, winter fast approaching.
Joel had given you his winter jacket to keep warm before he laid down into this sleeping bag, reminding you to wake him up in four hours so he could take over second watch.
You still couldn’t get used to how dark the night made the world around you ever since the outbreak. There was no twinkling light of a city in the far distance, no noise of a far away high way.
You were on the roof of the tower, the whole landscape surrounding you.
It was dark and quiet. The only light source the half moon, the only noise an owl somewhere in the woods beside the house.
You saw some deer while watching out through the scope of your rifle but you decided against taking one down.
You did not have the right tools to put it apart and take back to Jackson so you watched them while they were running around.
A noise behind you let you jump, your rifle still in your hand. Turning around you watched Joel as he walked up to you, completely dressed apart form his coat you were wearing, watching you with a little amused smile.
„Could have shot you,“ you sighed, taking a deep breath to calm down your rapidly beating heart.
„What a way to go,“ he joked and you rolled your eyes. You turned away from him, your eyes back on the landscape in front of you.
„What are you doing up?“ You asked.
„Couldn’t sleep,“ he hummed and you felt him getting closer until his arms came to rest on the railing in front of you, his body caging you in. You felt his warmth even through the layers you were already wearing, wondering if he was getting cold, only wearing his undershirt and Flannel.
„You should try anyway. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow,“ you said and he hummed.
You stood there in silence for a while before you felt his lips on your jaw. One of his hands left the railing, pulling a little on the coat you were wearing until he could access more of your neck, his lips wandering down.
„What are you doing?“ You asked quietly, your head tilting to give him more access.
„Nothin’…“ he hummed, sucking on your skin. His hand slowly unzipped your coat, grunting when he found another coat beneath it.
„How many goddamn layers are you wearing?“ He asked irritated and you grinned to yourself.
„Enough to stay warm all night,“ you said and he made a disapproving noise, pulling the zipper of your second coat down. His beard scratched over your skin when he finally found a sliver of your skin with his fingers, his lips humming against your neck.
„Joel…“ you warned, the rifle still in your hands, propped over the railing, ready to be used immediately in the case of an emergency.
„Just keep watch baby. Don’t mind me,“ he said, his fingers now running down your stomach, his fingertips slipping under the waistband of your jeans all while his lips kept kissing your neck.
You took a deep breath before you relaxed your shoulders. You felt him smile against your skin, before his other hand let go of the railing and he opened the button of your jeans.
„I want you to focus on keeping watch, baby. Can you do that for me?“ He asked, his lips against your ear while his fingers pulled at the waistband of your jeans. Your breath hitched, you head nodding.
„I need words,“ he said and you whimpered.
„I do. I can, Joel,“ you mumbled.
„Good girl,“ he whispered and your knees buckled at his low praise.
The rifle was by now slumped in front of you, only held up by the string over your shoulder. Joel slipped your jeans and panties down to your knees before his warmth left your back.
„I want you to keep your hands on the railing. You gonna want to hold on to something,“ he said and your hand shot out, gripping the railing, fighting a whimper.
You had no idea what got into him, but you weren’t about to question him.
His fingers brushed up the back of your thighs, making you sigh.
“Gotta be quiet. Sound travels from up here. Don’t want Eugene knowing what we’re up to here, huh?“ he said before you felt his tongue lick through your folds from behind, front to back.
„Fuck,“ you gasped, letting your hand fall in between your shoulders, your eyes slipping closed.
„Nuh uh. Keep that eyes on you surroundings. Want you to keep watch while I eat this pussy,“ he said and you bit into your bottom lip before you tilted your head up, your eyes focused on the dark landscape in front of you.
Joel licked you slowly, humming against you, both of his hands pulling your asscheeks apart, exposing you fully to him. You moaned quietly as he ate you out, his tongue slipping inside of you, fucking you with it slowly.
„Shit,“ you whined, wiggling in his grasp. He slapped your ass.
„Stay still. Tell me what you see,“ he hummed, you felt his breath on your ass.
„Wha..at?“ You asked.
„Tell me,“ he licked, „what you see. Got a job to do. Don’t let me stop you from it,“ you could hear the grin in his voice, before he slapped your ass again. Harder this time.
„Fuck. Fuck okay,“ you said. You blinked your eyes a couple of times, your gaze wandering around as you felt Joel’s tongue flick over your clit.
„There’s… There’s a family of deer not far from here,“ you started. He hummed, his lips closing around your clit, sucking slowly.
„It’s two big deer and five smaller ones. They… Fuck the younger ones are jumping around,“ you whimpered, your knuckles starting to hurt form how hard you were gripping the railing.
„What else?“ Joel asked and you groaned. You took a deep breath, trying to find something else.
„Ho-ORSES, fuck right there,“ you moaned and you felt him chuckle as he focused his tongue on your clit while two of his fingers entered you without any resistance, angling them inside of you, his fingertips brushing over the spot only he seemed to be able to find immediately.
„Joel please,“ you mumbled out of breath.
He played your body like he played his guitar, with strong hands an nimble fingers, pushing you closer and closer to your orgasm, your insides clenching. You could feel it deep in your bones, your muscles tensing. And just before you could fall over the edge Joel stopped. His fingers pulling out.
You whined in disappointment and Joel bit into your left ass cheek.
It’s then that you both heard it. The unmistakable noise of infected.
You tensed, your hands gripping the riffle, pulling yourself in position.
Joel held on to your hip as he got back up, the weight of him behind you keeping you focused.
„How far away?“
„Far,“ you whispered, your finger now hovering over the trigger. With one eye closed you kept an eye on them through the scope. It were six or seven, you could not say for sure due to the darkness.
„Think you can take them out from here?“ Joel asked and you heard him unbuckle his belt, fighting the urge to turn around to watch what he was doing.
„What are you doing?“ You asked, your eyes still fixed on the slowly approaching danger.
„Nothin’. Shoot them baby. I know you can. Best fucking shot we have in Jackson,“ he hummed. You were now leaning over the railing, the gun sitting over it, pointed towards your target. You steadied yourself, fading out everything around you, your eyes finding your first target.
It looked like it had been a young man before it got infected. You breathed in, pulling the trigger as you breathed out, a shot ringing out and that was when Joel chose to thrust into you hard, making you stumbled minimally forward, gasping out. Joel’s arm came around you, reloading the gun for you, his cock deep inside of you.
„Next,“ he hummed against your ear. You clenched around his cock, making him choke out as you took back control of the gun.
„A little warning would have been great,“ you turned your head to look at him. He just kissed you once.
„Where would be the fun in that? Go on, lemme check how good of a shot you are while you’re fucked,“ he said and you couldn’t stop a low moan from your throat as he rolled his hips.
„Someone woke up horny,“ you mumbled to yourself and you heard him chuckle. You leaned back forward, your eye searching for your next target through the scope. When you found it, you didn’t think, you just pulled the trigger, watching it fall down, while Joel bottomed out and thrust back into you hard.
„So fucking wet,“ Joel groaned, slowly fucking into you.
You reloaded the gun, lining up the next shot, trying to steady yourself as you took the shot, Joel thrusting into you hard again.
„Fuck,“ you whimpered.
„Gonna make you cum so hard once you took them all out,“ Joel promised and you gasped as you reloaded the gun again.
Every time you pulled the trigger he thrusted into you so hard you had to push back against him to not stumble forward.
It was after eight shots more (you only missed one) that you secured the weapon and put it down.
„My good girl,“ Joel praised you, his arm pulling you up against him. You wiggled yourself out of his coat, wanting to feel him closer. One of his arm wrapped around you, his hand gripping one of your tits over your shirt.
„Please make me cum. I’m so fucking close,“ you whimpered, bringing your hands up to hold on to his arm wrapped around your chest. He fucked up into you deeply, his other hand coming down in between your legs, finding your clit. He circled his fingers over it while he continued to fuck you.
„I’m… Fuck I’m gonna cum,“ you moaned, meeting his thrusts as best as you could.
„Shit, keep squeezing my cock like that,“ he grunted against you ear.
It was within the next few second that you exploded around him, your lips parted in a silent scream, shaking around him.
„Fuck baby. Can I cum inside you?“ He asked and you nodded.
„Last period ended three days ago. Should be fine,“ you whimpered.
„Fuck, you sure?“
„Joel please come inside of me,“ you whined and he groaned, thrusting a handful more times before you felt him twitch inside of you, fucking his cum inside of you.
His head came to rest on the back of yours, you both out of breath.
„What was that all about? Not that I’m complaining,“ you asked and he huffed a laugh.
„Woke up horny for you,“ he said and you both chuckled. He slowly pulled out of you and you hissed a little.
He pulled up your jeans for you after he tucked himself back in and you turned around in his arms. He had pulled his coat on and you put your arms under it, hugging him close.
„You took them all out?“ He asked, looking down at you.
„Sure did.“
„That’s my girl,“ he smiled and kissed you.
#my fic#Joel Miller#Joel Miller x fem. reader#Fanfiction#Fanfic#fan fiction#Pedro Pascal#joel miller fanfiction
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What the brain doin??
PT. 1 of a questioning median system's journey
"Why do I think I'm plural?"
Hello!
I am making this post for those who think they are a Median System. I've noticed our community is small and that there aren't many recourses out there to compare experiences to. The few that do exist have been very helpful so I thought I'd add to the pool to compare and contrast with. In this post I will discuss how I reached the point of believing I am a Median System, why, as of right now, that label fits the best for me, and what my system is like on the inside.
(THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF ORGIN, LABLE, KNOWLEDGE, OR IDENTITY)
How did I get here?
I started learning about what plurality was in 2018 for a college psych course. At that point in time I just found it interesting; fascinated at how the brain reacted to trauma and why it would split off as a way to cope. A tiny part of me thought "am I....?? NAaaah!! I would know!! It would click and everything would all make sense and I would just know!!! Plus I don't have enough trauma." I developed a hyper-fixation on it for a bit but it fizzled out and I didn't reflect on it again for a while.
In 2021 I took a course that looked at the abstract ideas and philosophies behind what consciousness really is. I decided that for my final research paper in that course I would write about DID and other forms of plurality and what implications their very existence meant for how we define consciousness. After that, the hyper-fixation was reignited. I started to reflect on myself again but came to the same conclusions. Until, I met my now partner, who is a system, in 2022. They taught me a lot about plurality.
It's a bit fuzzy when I started questioning myself again or why. EDIT: I remembered! I ran out of ADHD medication and had to go without it for a couple weeks. For context, I haven't taken a break from my meds since I started them at age 8 and at the time of running out I was on the highest dose of really strong stuff. After this break I started to notice how much my meds suppressed my emotions and creativity, eventually I got more medication. I then started asking my partner more questions about how they figured it out they were a system, how they knew, what did they do, how did they navigate embracing it, etc. I was a bit obsessive about these questions and it wasn't hyper-fixation level obsessive, this was "I need these answers to survive" level obsessive. I started noticing anxiety around these questions that I had never felt before. Ya know, totally normal singlet stuff.
I started a notes app note titled "Psychological analysis of myself" after I had a panic attack that felt like someone else was having it through my body. Like genuinely, it snuck up on me (unusual for my anxiety I usually can see it coming a mile a way) and then it felt like my body had the panic attack without me, I was just there along for the ride. It freaked me out, which is why I started the notes app. I started diving into more research on OSSD and more nuanced experiences of plurality that never came up in basic psychology research.
Then the denial started. Heavy, aggressive, degrading, denial. I pride myself on have decent esteem and self love but this denial laughed in my face. I only felt this once before when I was failing a math class in 2019. It was the first class I had ever been so close to failing I tore myself apart about it. It was so unlike me to be so mean to myself. When having this denial dialogue in my head about how (aggressive language warning) I was attention seeking faker who was just lonely and wanted to feel special, it was always stated in “You are…” statements. For example: “You’re just faking.” “You’re stupid.” “I can’t believe you think this.” When I would have these conversations with myself I would feel myself getting tired. Not tired in a way where I needed a nap but more like a drifting tired. I know this may be connected to dissociation, or switching (unclear).
So in my notes app I would write the thoughts out as they came. I realized I was having a chat with myself. A great app for honestly singlets and plurals to download is ANTAR. It’s an app that lets you chat with you "emotions" to sort out emotional hang ups but if you label the emotions as your alters instead you can chat with your system! These conversations are why I didn’t fully fall back into denial stage.
For a moment I did. I concluded that I was just being silly and dramatic and blowing things out of proportion. But having those conversations on my phone that I could go back to and look at didn’t let me stay there for long.
I went back and forth on the denial thing for a minute only because I couldn’t find label that fit how I felt about my potential system until I happened across Median System. There was the click. Everything fell into place. I sat and read the definition and just thought “That’s me”.
Why “Median System”
A Median System is describe as
A median system (also called midcontinuum) is a system where members are not as distinct or separate from each other. It can be considered being somewhere between multiple and singlet.[1]
Some are dependent on a single individual, or the dependence can be mutual in that there is no central individual. Some median systems feel more blurred between themselves[2]. Others may also be based around a shared identity or kin.
The members of a median system are often described as aspects or facets. Some median systems may identify as different archetypes[1]. Despite being more fluid and similar, median systems can be very diverse.
Median systems are often opposed to multiple systems, with multiple systems experiencing more distinction between headmates. Some may also oppose it to partitionary systems, but in fact, median systems can be either partitionary or blurian, as variance in identity and presence or absence of memory sharing do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.
For me, part of the reason that I was in such denial of possibly being plural was because I have little to no amnesia in my day to day but unlike OSDD-1b (which also lacks amnesia) I don’t have distinct others. It felt like me all the time but sometimes adjacent. Someone described the difference as feeling like a snake with multiple heads rather that multiple snakes in a cage. And a Median system it feels like being an individual with multiple consciouses instead of multiple individuals in one body.
Other ways that I experience my existence are as follows:
I sometimes use plural first pronouns when referring to myself because before this realization I would be talking about myself and my brain as separate from me.
I used to joke that I felt like a system that just never fractured.
The way people describe masking but for me it feel like a more extreme level, where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. What I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask.
Another thing I experience is sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face.
This one might be a stretch but I have seen other Median Systems mention it. I notice that proper singlets have 1 go to aesthetic. It may change over the years but that typically have 1. I have never been able to consistently identify with 1 aesthetic I typically cycle through several. Specifically for me it's punk, grunge, hippy, cottage academia, and dark academia. With a funky gender identity on top of all that.
I wrote this post on and off over the course of a few hours and I lost my train of thought. Please let me know if you have questions, clarifications, comments, or your own stories. My asks are open. I will probably speak more on this at a later date.
#What the brain doin#median system#actually median#questioning median system#questioning system#system#actually plural#plurality#plural community#neurogenic
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Sanctuary (HW Link/Ravio, nsfw)
set in the dnd campaign era of the Colonelverse, the gang goes to a spa, where Ravio and Colonel get a private bath, and conversation, connection, and confession happen. And then a little bit more. Wordcount: 4208
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When the innkeeper mentioned there was a hot springs spa in the village, Ravio immediately melted into the idea of a perfect afternoon. Taking a nap in the warm water, soft smells of soap and the relaxing atmosphere. Nothing but him, the warmth and comfort of a good long soak, and absolutely no worries. A few hours to truly unwind from the chaos of their journey.
Of course, the rest of the group also found that to be the idea of a perfect afternoon. Which isn’t a problem in general, it’s just, uhhh…
“...The communal pool is on your right, and towels will be brought to you within a moment once you ring the bell. Hope you enjoy your time with us!”
That. Communal. As in, they’d all be seeing all of each other. And that’s not something Ravio thinks he can… do.
He watches everyone cheer and holler on their way to the lockers, anxiety pooling in his stomach. He tucks his hands in his cloak, fiddling with the arm slits between his fingers.
His body isn’t anything special. He doesn’t work out, or have any particular diet, or do much of anything to maintain a certain physique. He would like to say it doesn’t bother him, but being surrounded by so many well toned, handsome people with bodies crafted for strength and combat (or in Wisdom’s case, those that are just naturally beautiful) makes it almost inescapable. When he looks in the mirror he can’t help but point out all the ways his body is… not that. Softer edges to his hips and thighs, but with ribs that stick out too much and arms that are all bones.
“You lot go ahead, I want to ask something quick.” Colonel says to the others. Now Colonel? That’s an example of a man with a wonderful body. Ravio hasn’t seen much – only glances at the changing of bandages or clothes, much to his own flustering – but he knows enough to know Colonel worked for it. Both in his training, and in validating it as his in the first place. He was so happy when Colonel mentioned he managed to start his medication after the war – and surgery! He remembers how Colonel spoke about it, late at night when they shared a tent during the war. How hopeful he was, excited, to finally have a body that felt right. He just had to make it to the other side. And he did! Ravio couldn’t be more glad.
And he means, it definitely paid off. The glimpses Ravio has taken have shown that much. Carefully sculpted chest and soft abs, lean muscular arms, a very handsome face–
“Ravio?” Colonel’s voice filters through his thoughts, making him startle just slightly.
“Hu-wha?”
“I got us a private bath. I knew you’d be nervous about being naked around everyone. You alright with it being just the two of us?” Colonel smiles at him, just a little awkwardly. Ravio didn’t consider if there were private baths here… but Colonel did, for him.
“That’s perfect! Thank you.”
They make their way to the changing rooms together.
He takes his layers off under his cloak, expertly practised at changing clothes without revealing anything of himself, and wraps a towel around his entire torso, lost in thought. A different bundle of nerves twists in his stomach as they both place their clothes and other belongings in the cupboards. The prospect of being alone with Colonel, bare and exposed, just the two of them… he’s sure his ears are burning. What does someone even talk about in a hot spring with only one other person there? Do they just sit there and not look at each other? What if he accidentally looks?!
Ravio is so distracted he ends up walking out to the pool with his cloak still on. He only realises when Colonel chuckles, and he looks up to see him standing right in front of him. With nothing but a towel around his waist. Oh, goddesses…
“I don't think you should hop in wearing that, mate.” Colonel slowly reaches his hands out, and Ravio stands stock still as he pushes the hood gently away from his face and takes the heavy fabric off his shoulders. He laughs awkwardly when Colonel smiles down at him, mumbling a, “Whoopsie!” under his breath. There’s a few towel pegs on the privacy wall, and he knows his face burns red as Colonel turns around to hang it up. He’s glad he at least put the towel on underneath, and doesn't have to run back in to get changed completely.
His eyes can’t help but watch Colonel as he moves. How his back and shoulder muscles shift as he reaches up to hang the cloak up, and how his hair looks on the back of his head without his cap on, short hairs at his neck curling slightly in the humidity.
And he can't help but trace the neat circles of burns down from his neck to the base of his spine.
They look… better, than the last time Ravio saw them. He couldn't stomach looking at Colonel’s side, holding his hand in the infirmary as the medic looked him over one last time and deemed him healthy enough to return to battle, but he felt like he had to see the ones on his back. It was his duty to make sure the medic wasn't just lying because Link was too important, and he’d be at risk of further injury because of his actions. Back then, they were red and angry, and no doubt still painful, but he couldn’t deny they were a better sight than the first day out of captivity.
Now, they're shiny pink dots, raised and prominent, but healed. As much as their presence is forever a lump in his throat, he’s glad they seem to be more gentle on Colonel’s body these days.
Distracted again, he doesn't realise he’s been standing still in one spot this entire time until he hears Colonel groan appreciatively stepping into the water. He’s nearly completely submerged, head leant back onto the ledge of the pool against some rocks, eyes closed.
“You gettin’ in? It’s nice,” he calls over, and Ravio hurries to join him.
He sits on the ledge, dipping his feet in first to get a feel for the temperature as he ties his hair up into a high bun out of the way. It’s perfect, warm but not scalding, the water feeling heavenly against his legs.
He takes a deep breath, pointedly looking away from where Colonel sits, and slips out of the towel and into the water completely.
Ohhhhh… this is bliss. He definitely lets out a groan of his own. He was right to daydream earlier – this is perfect nap conditions. His body immediately relaxes, all worries of body issues and scars and past traumas falling out of his mind and into the water. He mirrors Colonel’s position and lies his head back against the edge of the pool, letting his eyes slip closed and thoughts leave him.
He doesn't know how long they sit in silence, basking in the feeling of tension slipping off their shoulders, but Ravio is half dozing when Colonel’s voice breaks it.
“Thank you, by the way.”
Ravio peels one eye open.
“What did I do again?”
“Nothing, really, just… for coming with me. Having a private bath, I mean. I will admit, I… also didn’t feel comfortable going with the rest of the group, either.”
Ravio picks his head back up fully, looking over at Colonel, who’s glancing down into the water with a shameful look on his face. He can’t fathom why, what Colonel has to be insecure about. He’s gorgeous, as strong and capable and handsome as the rest of their group – not like him.
“Huh, really? You're so handsome, though. I'm just an average guy.”
Colonel’s eyes shoot back up to him, leaning towards him. The water shifts around his chest, and Ravio’s eye is drawn to his body for a split second before he focuses back on Colonel’s intense look.
“What? No, Ravio, you're stunning. You have nothing to be shy about, I promise. Your body is amazing.”
Ravio flushes red, drawing his shoulders in and looking away.
“Aww, thanks. R-really?”
“Yes, really. You're beautiful.” He leans in further, lowering his voice almost to hide his next words, “And honestly, if I had an arse like yours, I’d be showing it off way more often.”
Ravio blushes further.
“W-well, you're beautiful too, Colonel. You shouldn’t be insecure either.”
Colonel huffs out a breath. “I’m… working on it. It's mostly the– um– lack of proper equipment that I don't feel ready to explain, yet. I'm not quite sure if I’m okay with it being out in the open.”
“But you're okay with me?” He’s aware he’s likely the only one in the group who knows, but knowing of it and being trusted to be shown it are two different things. He thinks Colonel has shown his back scars more than his chest ones, turning away to change clothes while on the road.
“You… you make me feel safe, Ravio. I feel comfortable around you.” Oh.
The doubt crawls in like it always does.
“What makes me so special?”
Colonel leans even closer and reaches out under the water to grasp his hand. Now there's only a short distance between them, steam from the water his only meagre cover, Colonel’s body so close to his he could reach out to trace his scars if he wanted. He wants to.
“Everything. You're kind, and smart, and brave. Not because you have to be, not because some destiny came in from above and told you you had to be – you chose to be brave, Ravio, and that’s infinitely more special than any golden triangle.”
He remembers a conversation they had, one sleepless night during their recovery, where he had – no filter, so very overtired – expressed his disregard for destiny and the goddesses’ plan. “The goddesses can kiss my ass” he thinks was the exact wording. And he remembers how Colonel had shaken apart with laughter, all the worry and fatigue and pain lifted off his shoulders for just a moment. How free they both were for a single breath of time, holding each other to drive away the night terrors and too fresh memories, giggling like children.
So when Colonel continues,
“...I don't have to be the hero around you. I get to put it down and just be. You're special to me because you make me feel… free.”
He starts to believe his words are true.
“Sorry, that got heavy all of a sudden.” Colonel looks away, beginning to pull his hand out of Ravio’s grasp. It’s Ravio’s turn to surge forward, keeping him close by with a firmer grip. Their knees knock together and they both falter, embarrassed and flustered at the contact and only now realising how close they are. Neither of them move away.
“No, no, you’re alright! I’m happy I make you feel comfortable. You’ve… done the same for me, so, uhhh… yeah. I’m happy.”
The awkwardness rises as neither of them continue the conversation – legs almost tangled in the water, holding hands, neither of them making eye contact. They’re both sat up more in the pool than when they first got in, and Colonel’s upper torso is out of the water. He tries not to stare, but something catches his eye. In a desperate bid to stop the awkwardness, he lets impulse carry him.
“What gave you this scar?” He points to a mark just underneath Colonel’s collarbone. He’s never seen one like it – circular and indented into his body. And it certainly wasn’t there during the war.
Colonel looks down, shifting his free hand to trace over it. Hiding it.
“Ah, it was, um…” he trails off – Ravio suddenly realises he brought up something he shouldn’t have.
“Gosh, I’m sorry, forget I said anything!” He laughs awkwardly. Way to go and ruin the moment even more…
“...You can touch them, if you want.” Ravio looks up at Colonel, surprised. Touch them? He continues, “My scars. I keep seeing you look at them - it’s okay. I trust you.”
Ravio looks back down at Colonel’s chest. He wants to touch them, feel their texture against his hands - every mark evidence of what Colonel has survived, lived through, worked hard for – but he hesitates. Not just out of fear, but understanding of what this means. Colonel is an incredibly private person, with a history of violence and disrespect against his body. To be given permission, to be told he is trusted to do something as closely guarded and intimate as touching him? Not just an affectionate shove of the shoulder through layers, or a comforting hand hold, but his bare chest? Ravio can’t express how honoured he feels.
Colonel brings their still joined hands up and presses Ravio’s palm to his chest for him. He has his eyes closed, body stiff, and his heart is beating fast underneath Ravio’s hand, but he feels Colonel take a deep breath and almost force himself to relax. I trust you.
His fingers slide to the scar under his collarbone first. It feels weird, fingertips falling into the ditch in his skin, pink and smooth and unnatural. He still can’t figure out what caused it, but it sure looks like it hurt a lot. Definitely (and evidently) not something to be asked after. He shifts his focus away, down to his pecs. The scars curving along the underside of them are stretched – in a line of work such as his, no doubt due to jumping right back into duty the second he was cleared for it. They lead past the front of his chest, skin tagging at the end of the incision and poking out just slightly. He follows the path with his index finger all the way to the edge, in awe. There’s such a contrast between these scars and the rest of them – the only ones Colonel has out of care for himself, instead of the burdens of stupid destiny.
And then, there’s the ones across his left side.
The water of the spring conceals them just slightly, dulling their appearance, but Ravio’s mind makes up the difference. The forever harsher scars of burns so deep, muddy purples and leathery skin in too-neat lines. His hand moves to them ever so cautiously – halting and pulling back for a moment when Colonel suddenly takes in a breath. Once it’s slowly pushed back out of Colonel’s chest, body relaxing once more, he places his palm splayed over as many as he can reach. How he wishes, in this moment, that he had magic – some power to take these away forever. Colonel had tried to twist it into symbolism, once, telling him that these marks didn’t matter as much as the good the tools that caused them achieved. All Ravio can feel is the sickening guilt of it all. He feels tears spring to his eyes.
“Ravio? Are you okay?”
Gentle concern seeps into Colonel’s voice, smooth and quiet. Until this new adventure, the only time he’d hear Colonel’s voice would be in the darkest of his nightmares – screaming in agony as Ravio’s forced to watch over and over again these very scars placed upon his body by tools he invented. Since, every conversation they’ve had he’s almost clung to. Every laugh and concerned check-in and genuine praise, a balm over the memory of the worst day of his life. And, just like before, a fluttering in his heart.
He thought his crush had settled and disappeared after the war, no longer watching Colonel as he passed and being unable to quell the feelings of awe and appreciation for everything he is, but it seems that may have simply been resignation from their last goodbye. Now Colonel is in front of him again, everything he felt has come back in full force. It’s so incredibly easy to love Colonel: for his courage, his strength, his kindness. For how he holds Ravio’s hand and tells him he is all of those things, too. It feels silly to him, now, to have forgotten that in the distance, to have locked it all away when they said their final goodbyes. He wouldn’t be who he is today without Colonel. He wouldn’t be here at all, if he wasn’t worthy of it just like he says.
He needs to tell him. He can't just think all these things about him – it's time to be brave and say them.
“Colonel, I… these look so much better now. I was so worried after the war that what I had– what had happened would’ve hurt you forever. I’m sure they still hurt sometimes, of course, don't want to tell you how it is!” He laughs awkwardly. C’mon Ravio, you can do this. “But I'm… I’m happy you're here. In front of me. Healthy and okay and… with me again.”
He’s flustered once again, refusing to pick his eyes up from Colonel’s chest in embarrassment. It feels good to say, though. Finally getting out some of the emotions he’s been sitting on for four years, unrequited as they surely are.
“There’s not a day that went by where I didn’t miss you.” Ravio’s head jumps up to look back up at him. The sincerity hits him, Colonel’s expression open and earnest and vulnerable, “This quest, it– I do not know what will happen at the end of it all, but you came back to me, and that makes all of this worth it.” Colonel’s eyes flicker from his own, to his lips, and back up again. Ravio can see the internal conflict in his eyes, breath picking up slightly under his hand still pressed to his ribs.
He holds his breath nervously, and Colonel’s next words steal it completely away.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
Slow and ever so cautious, Colonel leans in closer, pressing their noses together and bringing his hand up to gently cup his cheek. There’s one more moment of hesitation, Ravio’s heart beating wildly in his chest, hyper aware of every point they touch - and then lips are pressing against his for the first time.
It’s warm.
He doesn’t know what he expected, but the rush of warmth through his entire body, hotter than the pool they sit in, hotter than the palm against his cheek or where his rests over scars – his eyes slip closed. Time falls away, as does the fear, and the heartache – only the bliss and warmth of their touch. They part for the smallest millisecond, then Colonel is kissing him again, and again, and Ravio lets him lead like there’s nothing else in the world that matters besides this. When Colonel pulls him closer, he follows, arms snaking around Colonel’s neck and chests pressed together. When Colonel pulls him into his lap, he presses his knees either side of his hips, hands holding his shoulders for balance, revelling in the feeling of being so close. When Colonel runs his fingers down the length of his back, pulling away from his mouth enough to mumble “You’re stunning” and pepper his neck in kisses, he lets the heat take him.
He idly plays with the hair at the nape of Colonel’s neck, dipping down to caress the topmost of the circular burns. He wants to kiss them – maybe if this isn’t just a one-off, he could ask to. If this isn’t just a temporary reward for the tiniest piece of courage. Before any impending thoughts of what comes after this are able to take root, however, they’re shaken back out of his brain by Colonel grabbing his ass and giving him a firm squeeze. He gasps, looking down at Colonel in half bewilderment, and gets a shy grin in return.
“Sorry, I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he murmurs. Ravio just kisses him again.
He tries to lead, this time, pressing into Colonel eagerly, and gets a gentle chuckle against his mouth for his efforts. Colonel’s hands come up to redirect his head, guiding him into gentler movements. Softly, slowly, tenderly – he kisses into Colonel everything he has.
When they part a second time, Ravio presses their foreheads together. He takes a moment to breathe, take in the sensations, and relax his body. Begin to process, just a bit, that this is happening. He’s been in love with Colonel for years, and now here he is, kissing him, touching him, sitting in his lap! And not only that – Colonel is touching him. He runs his hands down Ravio’s chest slowly, another gasp pushed out past his lips as he brushes against his nipples. Ravio leans back to watch their path down his stomach, how they settle against the small of his waist. Watches Colonel watch him, his soft skin captivating his attention.
It’s only now that he notices how… excited he’s become. He tries to shift to hide himself, water rippling around them, but Colonel’s hands push his legs back down gently.
“Sorry– um– I didn’t realise I– uh–” Ravio flounders. Colonel shushes him.
“You’re alright, nothing to be ashamed about.” Colonel’s thumb brushes reassuringly against his waist. He thankfully looks back up to Ravio’s face to save him the embarrassment. Ravio takes a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to cover his blushing face.
“W-what now?” He means it just about the literal current problem, but a part of him knows that’s not just what he’s asking after. What does this mean? What they’re doing right now – what happens to them now that this is out in the open?
“Well, we can do something about it if you want. Or we can not. I just want to be close to you.”
Oh how Ravio wants. He wants to be close to him, hold him, be held by him. He wants to love Colonel openly, spend the rest of their days watching the scars on his body fade, safe and free. However long they’ll be given – he’ll take it. Anything Colonel will give him, he’ll take it.
Maybe one day, he’ll learn to ask for it first. But for now, he takes his chance to answer in one more moment of bravery.
“I-I’d like to. Do something. Please…”
Colonel coaxes him back into a gentle kiss. Ravio lets himself tangle his hands in his hair, finally getting to properly feel the softness of it between his fingers, the subject of many dreams. One of the hands on his waist slips down to caress where his thigh meets his hips, then he’s being taken in hand. He moans immediately into Colonel’s mouth. The foreign sensation of someone else touching his cock rocks through his system – he’s never felt this good before. Colonel seems to know exactly what to do, how to tease the most pleasure out of his body, and the heat only grows.
He goes slow at first, coaxing more moans against his lips, Ravio’s hips rocking forward in the water. When Colonel brushes his thumb against his slit, he whimpers.
“Feel good?” Colonel murmurs, pulling back to press open-mouthed kisses against his throat. He didn’t notice it before, but the slightest hint of stubble tickles against his neck. He pushes Colonel’s face closer against him.
“Yes! More, please, more,” he moans. He doesn’t know if other people can hear them, but he’s past caring – only the heat of their bodies and how Colonel touches him matters in this moment. He can feel Colonel’s smile against him.
He bucks up into his hand again. He’s close, embarrassingly so, but he doesn’t care about that either. He’s not here to impress, or put on a show – the river of praise and compliments falling against his throat from Colonel’s mouth tells him he’s good enough as it is – but to simply feel the warmth throughout his body. Everything Colonel gives him (and he gives Ravio everything).
The heat builds into a blaze. His hands tighten in Colonel’s hair, body taut like a bowstring, and he lets it overtake him freely. Anything more, any tiny little action will push him over the edge, but he’s kept there for a maddeningly long time – until Colonel’s praise devolves into the smallest of bites against his throat, and he’s shaking apart in his lap. Ravio cums with a gasp, hips jumping involuntarily. As soon as the stimulation on his cock stops feeling good and starts feeling too much Colonel is pulling him against his chest into a hug. The hug is firm, protective, safe, and Ravio falls limp into it, letting Colonel hold him through the shocks of the aftermath.
“...Wowie…”
Colonel starts chuckling – Ravio buries his face further into his shoulder immediately.
“You’re so cute, wabbit,” he giggles. Ravio groans, this time not out of pleasure.
They settle back into the serenity of the hot springs. The steam still rises around them and the water is warm. It slowly starts to sink in what just happened, and he just breathes through the creeping anxiety. Colonel rubs soothing motions into his back. Holding him safe against any lingering insecurity.
In this moment, they’re both free.
#hyrule warriors#loz#ravioli#ravio x link#hyrule warriors fanfic#hw link x ravio#hyrule warriors ravio#hyrule warriors link#berries writing#trans link
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One Piece Advent Calender Door 13
Door 13 : Heartfelt Cards to you
Walking through the snow-covered town, Luffy and you took in the decorations and enjoying some fresh hot meat from a vendor, while you stuck to cotton Candy. “mmmh! So yummy...I want some cotton candy as well” Holding it out to him, he took a big bite from it. “mmh~ yummy”, he grinned.
Both of you finishing your food, and Soma finally awoke from his nap around your shoulder, looking around. “What is this?” Luffy pointed to a table where children and adults sat, colorful paper by them. “It´s a Card workshop. You can make your own christmas card there” “Why would you make cards?”, he tilted his head. “Why, for friends and family for example. Writing them something or drawing. You can even send them across the sea” “JE! I make one for Sabo!”, he beamed at you.
“Oh, that is a nice idea!” “YOSHA! I want to made a christmas Card for Sabo!”, he cheered and sat down by the table getting to it. Smiling at your eager boyfriend, you looked at Soma. “Should we also make some? You can help me” Rubbing himself to you, you sat down next to a child and got to work. They had so many different things to decorate them with, strings, pressed flowers, little stones not to mention the pens in colors and stickers. Soma got you the stuff he and you wanted, the children looking at him. “Oh why you can pet him. He loves it”, smiling at them, they soon got comfortable and your shrunked dragon bathed in it.
Making cards for everyone of the crew, you personalized them on their taste, and you had to admit it was fun. “Done!”, Luffy cheered and showed you the card in a blue tone. “For Sabo, right?” “mmh! What do you think?” He proudly handed you the card and you looked at it. “He will love it”, you admitted with a soft smile. “Good! Now you also need to write your name” “Mine?” “Yes! You are also Sabos sister now. You´re mine so-” He held you the pen out and you smiled, taking it and writing your name on it. “Yosh! Now it´s perfect”, Jumping up, you smiled as you also gathered your cards and made them vanish with a simple flick of your wrist, Soma nestling on your head. “Shh, ok?”
Catching up to your captain. “Now, should we send it to Sabo?” “Yes! Yes yes yes!!!”, jumping around, you smiled and walked with him out of town. Reaching the forest, you breathed out and held your hands to the sky, concentraiting before moving them together in a circular motion and a big piece of cloud came down to you. Hovering in front of you, it made you smile and the cloud poofed away, revealing a cloud eagle. “HOW COOL!!!!” Luffy was sparkling like a star, causing you to laugh, as his cheeks held an exited blush. “Sage, deliver a letter for me, ok?”
“It has a name?! How cool!!! You are amazing!!!” “Luffy, letter” “Oh, yes” “Deliver this to Sabo, revolutionary. 2nd in command. Ok?” The eagle chirped and sucked the letter into himself. “Whoa” “So secure it from wheather. Good luck and safe journey, my friend”, you smiled and held your arm out as big wings spread and witha few strong flaps, he was gone.
“Je, you are way too incredible!!!” “And you calm down before you faint from excitement” “BUT! YOU! WOOOOOOOO!!! YOU ARE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND OF THE WORLD!!! IN! I DON`T CARE!”, he shouted and you laughed, the three of you walking back to the Sunny, as Luffy wouldn´t stop gushing about you.
#luffy#luffy x reader#luffy x oc#luffy x y/n#monkey d. luffy#one piece#straw hat luffy#anime and manga#straw hat pirates#straw hat crew#christmas cards
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Can you do more dr x child reader? I really liked the idea of it:) you don't have too If you don't wanna. Have a good day and drink some water.
Danganronpa 2 Cast Meets Child Reader! (Again)
(this is my apology for literally disappearing for 11 months..! + I was bored.) also thank you anon!
yes, this has spoilers for sdr2. + mod mikan finally posts an imagine after 11 months??
What a weird day you were having, first you ended up on this weird island, second you saw all these random kids around these islands, and a talking bear? a talking bunny? very weird / cool.
it’s not that you really cared anyways. other than all these questions that you got from everyone in the class. like, “how did you even get into here?” “what’s your talent?” “what’s with you and sandwiches?” “are you sure that you don’t need any help?” questions that you can answer, other than the “what’s your talent” question. which to answer to all of that is a sandwich slapped to their face and you running off while they wonder what just happened.
( actual answer: you sneaked in to “hope’s peak” for fun + kotoko and you thought it would be fun to see what’s in a “big kids” school for a second. ) also, your just a random elementary student who just loves likes sandwiches for some reason.
for trials, you…slept like it was nap time back when you were in preschool. sure, it would of been more sad if you genuinely knew/or cared. about these people. so let’s say if you did, (found some of them very cool, which lets be real, you probably did.) You would probably be a little bit of a help in the teruteru/byakuya case. but only really on the minor details, and not like. the “dead” body….
there was also that one time where Peko and Mahiru and it got Fuyuhiko hurt “disappeared” like Teruteru and “Byakuya”/ Imposter (basically everyone who had “died”, via Hajime trying to save you from not saying the truth until later. (which never happened because they were luckily alive at the end so he doesn’t have the say the “they ain’t coming back” talk.
for example from what hajime said to you when you asked him where did the ones who are “missing” : “Don’t worry [Name] they probably went out to go search for [People Who Are “Dead/Executed”, they will come back soon.”
“Coming Back Soon?, Missing? but aren’t they..”
“Going to take a while to come back to the island, yeah!”
“you seriously really need to say the truth to the kid…”
anyways, after the whole Peko and Mahiru going out to “search for the two also missing classmates.” you and the others came to see the injured fuyuhiko. he was acting more weirder than usually has been because he got hurt, from something. (the others didn’t explain well.)
Since he was so hurt, from something the others didn’t also explain so well, and he was facing the window, not talking to anyone. everyone decided to give him some rest and leave him alone. well other than you obviously.
you grabbed a plastic bag from your backpack full of random items and tried to give it to unresponsive fuyuhiko you guessed it! a damn sandwich. you don’t know why, but you just put it on the desk next to his bed after giving up to give it to him directly as you thought it was going to go.
and before you left the room, he said… “thanks.”
“…your welcome.”
you guys got along more after this and fuyuhikos apology during breakfast the other day.
he was more like a big brother figure to you from now on. (rip hajime.)
now then! he’s a summary of what happened next because I don’t feel like making this long enough to be an essay.
summary for the rest of chapter 3, 4, 5 of child readers journey through jabberwock island : you almost ended up getting killed by mikan for some reason, luckily you drop-kicked her before she could do anything. when you get into uh whatever that place where gundham and nekomaru (robot ver) disappear too, your backpack full of things like food sandwiches was taken by monokuma for a second…(you found it later.) post after the whole nekomaru being “missing” hajime keeps calling it, makes you wonder for a while. next island,, very explosive. nagito also goes as well for some reason and the chiaki,, eh tbh you really didn’t care at that point. you were said chiaki left. she was very nice and liked your sandwiches as well like fuyuhiko..
ah oh well. it was all just a game anyways!
wait what.
So uh, now your finally inside a school. it looks even more weirder than all of the bear dinosaurs blocking the paths to the other islands..they didn’t like your sandwiches sadly. well maybe because to tried to throw one at them to see if they would catch it like a puppy.
it’s creepy, and there is also a classroom you saw, well uh. trial time!
again, you were in the middle of sleeping. all they were talking about was almost kinda boring.
then you opened your eyes, almost instantly there were some random big girl with a flip phone of her…and random people that look like all of your “classmates” ages.
anyways blah blah blah, everyone feels down, chiaki saves the day for one last time, hope hope hope. 3d definitely not something that reminded you of all of those fashion games you would download on your family members phone goes down by that talking bunny (who you forgot exists.)
and after all the farewells. and goodbyes / see you laters.
you woken up, seeing most of the people who hajime said “disappeared”!!!!
you were happy, although you didn’t know most of them, they finally found each other, “why didn’t you guys come back tho, like hajime said?”
…hajime had a long talk with the others. with a lot of kazuichi’s “told you so” although to be honest, it’s kinda werid for the others as it’s usually hajime being the one saying “told you so.”
oh well.. what a journey…a very weird one.
I apologize for the ooc too + kinda lazy too,, I made this at 11 - 1 am in the night,, I should probably be sleeping too but it’s been a while since I posted + almost a year since the last imagine about nagito and the ghost. (This being due to my danganronpa phase fading away.) (also like my last post said, who knows, I’ll probably make another blog or make this blog into another fandom fanfic spot.)
thank you for reading anyways! :D
mod mikan.
#danganronpa imagines#danganronpa imagine#danganronpa x reader#danganronpa x child! reader#danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2 x reader#danganronpa#danganronpa 2 x child reader
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Kloktober Day 8: Childhood or Getting Old
I love some kidklok but it's all so traumatic (and I'm saving up for some other prompts jsdjgsjdk) so I went with Old Folks Skwistok 👴👴
Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me
Although he knew the route by heart after so many weekly trips, Toki squinted at the amber letters of the scrolling LED display at the head of the bus, just to be certain he hadn't lost track of the journey. Patting his breast pocket and finding it empty, he located his glasses perched atop his head in the usual place and slid them down to his nose to confirm their location.
"Dis ams our stop," he said, nudging the dozing figure next to him.
Toki got to his feet as the bus pulled to the curb, feeling more than hearing the screech of brakes as the vehicle ground to a halt. A wise CFO had once (twice, a thousand times over) advised them all to wear earplugs during their sets, and the irony of those warnings falling on deaf ears did not escape Toki now. Soon enough, he would have to follow Pickles' example and get fitted for hearing aids. Out of all the patents that had expired after Dethklok's reign, Liquid Purity sound technology had yielded the most versatile applications. Toki wondered if Charles would be pleased to see it put to good use, or if he was rolling in his grave over the market ventures they'd left untapped.
Humidity fogged the lenses of his readers as he stepped off the bus and onto the sidewalk, waiting patiently at the door for his fellow passenger to debark. Heat mirages shimmered across the blacktop of the Finntrolls parking lot, the sun a blazing disk in a cloudless sky the color of window cleaner. The late September warmth had not deterred Skwisgaar from donning a cardigan before they left the house, though he scowled into the bright afternoon light as he rounded the steps. Perpetually cold, even in his prime, it had been years since he'd let goading commentary about outerwear sway his wardrobe choices.
"T'oughts fall started last weeks, dis look more like summer vacation weathers to me." The thump of the tennis ball covering the end of his cane undercut some of the scorn in his voice, the same way it softened the overelaborate dragon motif for which he'd chosen the rod.
"You knows we never gets a real fall in L.A., elskling." Skwisgaar accepted Toki's outstretched hand, allowing his junior to assist him down the last steps and towards a nearby bench. Hot air gusted past as the bus pulled away from the curb, the stench of exhaust roiling in its wake. "Or you shoulds know dat, after almost thirty years."
"Ja, ja, still terribles any ways you slice it t'ough. I hates it."
"Ams somebody crabby today? Was you nap on de way here not longs enough? I woulda packed de insulated bags if I'd known we needed to rides to de store across town instead. I don't think your sherbet would makes it all de way home wifout dem." Toki laughed when Skwisgaar swatted his helping hands away, settling onto the shaded bench and pointedly looking the other direction. He set their canvas grocery sacks on the seat next to the Swede, leaning to plant a kiss on the part of his hair. "Be right back, don't runs off."
"So glad I ams married to de comedians…"
The automatic door of the food library slid aside with a hiss, unleashing a gust of chilled air that obscured Toki's glasses again and leaving him to fumble past the shopping carts until he found the reason for his solo sojourn. Toki plopped onto the cushioned seat, driving the scooter into the parking lot.
"Hey dere, sexy," he called, lifting his thumb off the accelerator and coming to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk. "You wants to come party wifs a rockstar?"
Skwisgaar watched his approach, unamused, with both hands stacked on top of the handle of his cane. Determined as he was to always do everything himself, he still disliked using the motorized cart. Really, he disliked anything that forced him to acknowledge the changes that age had inflicted upon them all—though Nathan's dentures were to be expected after decades of avoiding the dentist, and no one was entirely sure if Murderface's memory issues were real or if he was just being a dick.
Given his way, Skwisgaar would have hobbled painfully up and down each aisle under his own power, but arthritis had other plans.
His slouch was more pronounced now, his fingers curled and knuckles rosy with inflammation, yet he still held his nose in the air and sneered with all the lordly pretense of someone who had once ruled the world. For all the frowning he'd done in his life, he bore fewer wrinkles than one might expect, the most noticeable being the crow's feet that sprouted from the corners of his eyes as they narrowed in Toki's direction. Perhaps there had been something to all those expensive skin balms and salves after all.
"You goingk to be likes dis all day?" He groused, levering himself to his feet with some effort.
Toki stepped off the scooter and caught Skwisgaar's elbow as he listed to one side. "Til deaths do us part."
"Euughh, Odin, takes me."
Together, they crossed the last few feet to the cart and Skwisgaar lowered himself gingerly onto the seat. Toki placed Skwisgaar's cane into the wire basket within easy reach and dropped their bags in as well, taking a step back so Skwisgaar could get the vehicle turned around. Sunlight cast a shimmering halo on the crown of his head, his locks tied in a neat knot at the nape of his neck. He refused to part with the length despite the fact that what was once burnished gold now shone silvery platinum, and though Toki had long ago adopted a shorter crop for himself, he was glad Skwisgaar still wore his hair in long, soft waves. It suited him.
"You know, I think maybe I gets it why you always had de hots for all dems old ladies." Biting back a giggle when Skwisgaar cut eyes at him again, Toki fell into step beside the scooter as they made their way towards the front door. A pearly wisp of curl had come loose from its binding, and he reached out to tuck it behind Skwisgaar's ear, twirling the end around his finger. "You still lookin' mighty fines to Toki, even 'dough you ams all gray and wrinkledy now."
"Tch, you aments no springtime chicklings you'self, ya know. Dildo." Skwisgaar scoffed, ascending the slight ramp of asphalt that connected the sidewalk to the crosswalk.
Toki pushed his glasses back atop his head before being subjected to a third blast of blinding fog at the entrance, and when he dropped his arm, Skwisgaar's fingers closed around his wrist and pulled. The motion caught him mid-stride and he stumbled sideways, landing awkwardly, halfway on Skwisgaar's lap.
An arm wrapped around his waist, slimness belying strength as it held him close. "Hej, baby," Skwisgaar's voice in his ear was a playful growl. "You wants to go for a ride?"
Toki nodded in reply, grinning wide and swinging his feet onto the floorboard between Skwisgaar's loafers. The scooter's electric motor whirred as Skwisgaar depressed the forward lever, its wheels juddering over the threshold onto gleaming tile. Laughing as they zipped through the produce section, he swiped a package of blackberries from the display, hooting again when the scooter tipped onto two wheels momentarily. It might be far cry from screaming down the interstate on the murdercycle, wind whipping their hair, but it didn't matter. So long as they were together, the thrill remained.
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INTRODUCING AUBREY PHAN WRITTEN (AND LOVED!) BY CORRIE
⸻ have you ever heard SHAKE IT OFF by taylor swift , well it is AUBREY PHAN to a tee . the thirty two year old editorial assistant has been spotted wandering down portobello road markets just last sunday , do you know them ? would you say she is more distracted or more resilient anyway , they remind me of messy desks piled high with papers, the iphone notes app full of untouched to do lists, caffeine naps and always having a witty comeback for everything maybe you'll catch them around yeah ? ⸻ [ ◟ PATTI HARRISON. ◝ ]
triggers: mention of transphobia
THE BASICS:
full name: aubrey lan phan
birthday: 31st october 1990 (32 years old)
gender: trans woman (she/her)
sexuality: lesbian
relationship status: very single
BASIC INTRO:
aubrey is originally from lewisham in london, she has a vietnamese mother and an english father, they met at work.
she’s a sterotypical middle child, she’s got an older sister and a younger brother.
she was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, it was pretty obvious, she was a big ball of energy, all over the place, talking a million miles a minute.
her parents are very loving and they just want the best for her, but they do struggle with certain things.
for example, it took a lot of pushing from one of aubrey’s teachers to get her parents to take her for an ADHD diagnosis.
they just waved it off, calling her a hyperactive teenager, paying no attention to it.
ANYWAY, she realised from an early age that she was different, she wasn’t into the same things that other kids her age were into.
she liked to use her older sisters make-up, her older sister gave her make overs all the time.
aubrey and her sister used to do fashion shows for their parents all the time, their parents just thought it was funny, aubrey would put on a big act and pretend.
at school, again the same teacher noticed that something was up, she’d seen aubrey’s painted nails.
supporting aubrey, she came out, it was pretty scary for her but it definitely felt like the right thing to do.
she came out to her parents, they struggled, they weren’t so sure, they didn’t like it.
she chose the name aubrey, because, guess what?! it was the name of the teacher who’d helped her so much.
eventually her parents got used to it kinda they still slipped up but they were trying their best. but aubrey needed to get out of that environment, so off she went!!
she moved out of her parents home and went off to university (to study english) in central london, she was eighteen, just starting her journey to becoming a woman.
that’s were she met maryam joyce (@maryamjoyce) and for awhile the pair were in a situationship, they were both going through their own things & they found a lot of comfort in each other.
now as an adult, she’s a proud woman!!!! she’s incredibly happy!!!!
she’s got her own cute little flat with a cat, she’s working as an editorial assistant.
aubrey sees her parents occasionally but she’s not all that close with them, she’s still incredibly close with her siblings though and sees them reguarly. aubrey has created her own found family, with friends instead!!!!
WANTED CONNECTIONS:
siblings
friends
hook-ups / fwbs
exes
neighbours
co - workers
if you’d like to plot with any of my muses then please feel free to hit me up on discord @ corey in wetherspoons ™#0678!!
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Honestly...
I've been hesitating to post anything about this but my hope is that someone will feel less alone or isolated by hearing someone else be open about their experience.
I've had depression since I was a kid.
I remember being too tired to do anything but stare at my bedroom wall for hours. Watching the colors swirl as I fixed my eyes and feeling my body dissociate as the room seemed to get sucked farther away from me.
My parents raised me with the philosophy of "break and build" thinking that after they broke my spirit they could build me up the way they wanted to. That they could make me who they wanted me to be. They failed on both accounts and I was left with a fried nervous system, an undefined sense of self, and a self hatred so deep I didnt even recognize it.
Through the years I've acquired traumas, abusive relationships, panic disorders, and children. And to be honest, my kids are the only thing that made me want to heal.
And I tried. I applied the same manifesto my parents echoed in my youth- work hard, don't be reliant, be independent and you will find success. And I FAILED.
I pushed myself so far past my limits I started collapsing physically. I acquired mysterious illnesses, deeper depression, chronic stress that led to chronically high cortisol levels. My relationships were deeply unhealthy. I was in bed or wanted to be in bed constantly, but I couldn't, driven by the need to take care of it all on my own.
My last son was born late December, flirting with new years, and I was on my own again and completely overwhelmed. And that's when it happened. My brain cracked.
I started seeing things, hearing things, having uncontrollable outbursts of sobbing, I wanted to kill myself, I just wanted the shit to stop and I wound up in the hospital.
I'd like to tell you things got better, but they didn't. At my darkest moment in the hospital they got worse. When I could do nothing to stop it, it got worse. And then a switch started to flip in my brain.
Everything I've ever done has gotten me to this point...and I never want to be here again. I started advocating for myself. I got myself out of a broken and crooked mental health hospital by going against the doctors advice (I would have just accepted my fate before), I got myself a therapist, I started asking for help. And even though the help I got was limited at best, it was something. And I started recognizing how much I inflicted upon myself on a daily basis that I did not need to.
When all I wanted to do was rest, I felt like I needed to get up and run errands or do chores. When all I wanted to do was sit and eat, I would starve myself, worry, and indulge in junk food that made me feel like shit later.
I consistently pushed myself beyond my limits just to crash and burn. So I started little by little letting myself get the things I wanted. A nap, a meal, a small victory, a walk. I started to treat myself like I was someone I needed to take care of. And it has started working.
If you feel like no matter how hard you push yourself you are constantly failing, then maybe you have standards that are impossible and you are being abusive to yourself. Maybe it's time to try to start asking yourself "if I were someone who loved themselves, what would I do?"
PPD, depression, anxiety, and PTSD are no joke. Trauma, abuse, assault are no joke. Your body and mind can only take so much. Think of a mouse, and how if it gets stressed too much, gets put through too much trauma, it dies. Same with you, you're a creature too. You have to take care of yourself, and if you've never had good healthy examples of how to treat yourself from others it can be quite a complicated task- but we are all at our best when our bodies, minds, and emotions are taken care of, expressed, and loved.
This journey is far from over with me. I'm still in the midst of healing, but I'm noticing that as I shift into a different mindset, the world becomes a bit kinder, and things begin to open up for me more and more where before all I would see is darkness and dead ends.
If you've never had anyone in your life show you how to be loved, I encourage you to start looking into what it actually means to do that- it has already started changing my life. And yes, even though we didn't ask to be born, we have wonderful things to contribute- that's why we are here on earth.
#mental health#parental abuse#life#motherhood#babies#single mom#emotional health#post partum#healing#spirituality
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Are You Really Just Okay?
Do you ever have profound moments when someone makes a statement and those words stay with you for the rest of your life? This happens to me as well and today I will share with you one such conversation that changed my perspective on answering simple questions.
When I was in high school (many moons ago), I had a conversation with my girlfriend and it went something like this:
Friend: "Hi Stacy! How are you doing today?"
Me: "Hi! I am fine! How are you?"
Friend: "Stacy, why does everyone answer that question with 'fine', 'good', 'okay', 'alright'? And what if instead, we were just real with one another and answered the questions with genuine facts?"
Me: "I think its easier to give a one-word answer. But lets try to be more real with one another going forward. Lets answer the question with more details."
Friend: "Okay, so how are you doing today?"
Me: "I had a rough morning because I missed my alarm and woke up late so I had to rush. How about you?"
Friend: "My mom yelled at me so my morning got off to a bad start."
We hugged and went about our day.
That simple yet profound conversation has stuck with me over the years. It shines light on simple answers and begs the question "why"? Or maybe it translates to "no wait, I want more information". So, I try to be real with the people I love the most and give more details.
I have come to realize that its important to share with others how we are doing. Because if we lean into one-word answers, we close the opportunity to share with someone, be there for someone, or have someone love on us the way in which we may need love in that moment.
Since I have taken it upon myself to give more honest answers, it has also supported my mental healthcare journey. I know that when I am more open, I am able to get more support. For example a simple text message conversation with my mother about how I am doing could be "I am fine. The end". But rather, I love my mom dearly and she knows me very well. So with her I answer her questions with more data. For example, "I am okay today. I had a rough morning so I took a nap. I just had a cup of coffee and now I am good". This allows my mom to be present with me and support me, "Stacy, I am glad you took care of yourself and rested. I am also glad you are in a better mental state now".
The flip side to this that my mom, husband and close friends now know when I am, in fact, not okay too. Because if given a one-word answer they know immediately that I am not in a good head space, that I am not okay or that I do not want to share what is really going on in my world. And for those who know me and love me, they add support to my one-word answers. For example, "Mom, I am fine" leads to "Stacy I am here for you if you need me". Therefore, I have set up a genuine support system for myself.
So today, I ask you: How will you answer the questions said or texted to you? Are you really fine? Are you just okay? Or is it a platform for love, genuine support and meaningful conversations? I for one, know that I love you and I am in life with you. Advice? Find the people in your world that you can be real with. Hold onto those people and lean into them. And maybe the support system seeds that you planted will grow into flowers of love.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
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June 6- Hakone day trip
Today, we went to Hakone! I actually really loved today, except for the weather but some things can’t be controlled. We started the day taking multiple trains (which I took a great nap in) and then doing a variety of things. For example, we took the steepest track slope of train up the mountain in Japan. I really enjoyed how the tracks would change and noticed that the advertisements inside the vehicle were advertisements for Switzerland. Similarly, I took a very very similar train in Switzerland and have suspicions that they’re from the same company. After, we went up cable cars to the top of the mountains, where we saw sulfur deposits and the volcano part of Japan. The place was super cold but the views were worth enjoying. Addedly, I got to eat a very yummy curry bread and enjoyed the range of chocolate egg souvenirs. Then, we went to the museum that recreated the security system from the readings. Seeing the shrine, the great architecture, and also the pirate ship cruise, all added towards an unforgettable experience. The shrine itself was so beautiful, probably one of the prettiest I’ve seen yet. It was impressive that it’s still vetted by the Imperial powers, as shown by the seal and the donations left. My favorite view of the day has to be from the cable car, though, as the view of the landscape was awe-inspiring.
Academic Reflection
I couldn't help but draw comparisons between my entrance into Hakone Shrine and Vaporis's examination of conventional Japanese organizations in Chapter 3 of "A Curious Institution." The peaceful atmosphere and meticulous preservation of the shrine's architecture were reminiscent of Vaporis' concern on continuity and legacy. I arrived at the main hall via the winding stone pathways, which were flanked by tall cedar trees. There, I watched locals and guests partake in the long-standing custom of purification rituals before entering the sacred area. It was evidence of the religious institutions' enduring significance and role in Japanese society, which has persisted despite modernization and changes in the country's cultural landscape.
After my spiritual journey, I set out on the picturesque trip on the Hakone Tozan Railway, which further highlighted the themes touched upon in Vaporis's writings. The rhythmic chugging of the engine echoed the steady march of time as the train climbed through the verdant hills of Hakone. The railway, which was built more than a century ago, served as a testament to the robustness and adaptability of conventional Japanese transportation networks. The railway appeared to bridge the gap between Japan's extensive history and its aspirations for the future with its winding tracks, tunnels, and breathtaking vistas. It stood as a testament to the harmony between technological progress and the preservation of cultural heritage, a delicate balance that Vaporis examines in her study of Japanese institutions.
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They say, "Live your life to the fullest." I never envisioned myself as a young mother and student. I was 21 years old and had just started my third semester of my second year of college when I found out I was pregnant. After the shock of it all, I was flooded with feelings and obligations.
I found it more challenging to juggle my schoolwork with my pregnancy as the weeks passed. I had to struggle with morning sickness, exhaustion, and anxiety while attending classes, doing papers, and studying for examinations.I feared that I would fail as a student and a mother to my son because I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. My life was dramatically transformed when my son was born. I was no longer just responsible for myself, but for another human being who depended on me for everything. I had to learn how to nurse, how to do diaper changes, and how to comfort him when he cried. Although there was a steep learning curve, I was determined that I would be the best mother I could be while also pursuing my education. I chose to take online classes, allowing me to work on my assignments on the same timetable as my classmates. I used to study either late at night or during my son's naps. Although it was difficult, I knew that education was crucial to both my future and the future of my son.
Due to my postpartum depression after giving birth to my darling boy, my family offered me emotional support when I needed it and shared advice and recommendations with me. The stigma and judgment of others was among the hardest obstacles I had to overcome as a young mother and student. Some people believed that I should have waited until I finished school or that I was too young to become a mother. Others believed that by focusing on my education, I was neglecting my son. Even though it was upsetting and irritating, I eventually learned to ignore it and keep my attention on my objectives.As my son got older, I began involving her in my research.While he played nearby, I would read to him from my textbooks or conduct self-tests aloud.
It was a way for me to spend time with him and further my education at the same time.. I also began to recognize the advantages of having a child while attending school. I was leading by example for my son, demonstrating the value of work ethic and education. In addition, I was learning things that would enable me to give him a better life. I am happy to announce that, after a few more years, I will soon receive a degree in teacher education from my institution. Although the journey was challenging, it was worthwhile. My kid, who is now a happy and healthy little person, makes me particularly pleased. He serves as both my inspiration and my motivation, and I am appreciative of the chance I have to be both his mother and a student at the same time.
In conclusion, it was a great and difficult experience to be a young mother and a student. In addition to teaching me the value of education, hard effort, and perseverance, it called on me to be resilient, determined, and resourceful. Although it was not an easy journey, I am proud of it because it helped to mold me into the person I am today.
De Jesus, Joanna Ritchell, Limon
BPED 4
Expository Writing
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A little showcase!
Additions to EJ-is-a-single-dad-against-his-will au! Ofc we have his little gremlin Lobo! She's in the corner painting herself a mask! She's a little latina, originally named Sofia, raised as a cannibal in a jail. Her mother fed her her own parts to keep her alive. Lobo soon escaped, found by a enby named Lyn Lopez, after having their brother as a first meal. Lyn gave her their plush wolf Lupe as a way to symbolize to others that she was just a child, and let Lobo kill and eat them. Lobo then wandered more before landing in the Slender Forest at the age of 8 and found by Eyeless Jack, who initially found her annoying, but after she got attacked by another killer, EJ took her in as his daughter. She is now 12.
Theo is the son of Toby and Cas. Cas and Toby had run off together, setting their hometown ablaze. Slenderman recruited them, and after years of a relationship, they had a baby. Theo is the result, with all of Toby's add-ons. He really likes rocks!
Ayuna and Chisuke are twins! Along EJ's journey as a single father, Slender recruited Kei Takayama, or Oni! Kei was another cannibal, and was put under Jack's mentorship. He began to help Jack raise his children, even saving Coon from dying using his blood. Kei had the ability to heal himself, with a slow but effective healing factor. A severed arm took weeks, for example. His blood, when drank, was able to speed the healing of others that weren't him. After Kei had sent Jack to go nap after he came home from a hunt, that was when he started to fall for the Japanese man. When Kei lost his arm in a fight, he took care of him, and the two became mates. Because Kei was trans, they were able to have the twins Ayuna and Chisuke!
Zipper is also known as Briana Thomas. She's the daughter of Hoodie/Brian Thomas, from a past relationship. As of right now, she's 13 years old. When she was born, her mother died, and Brian was in tears. To protect the baby and Brian, Hoodie took over and gave her up to a family, wrapped in their hoodie with a photo of Brian with her. But that family handed her to a terrible orphanage, where she was bullied. She developed DID, one of her alters out of 3 being the one to hurt those who bullied her. Lucas, as this alter was called, often smothered others with pillows or stabbed them with whatever he could. He was why she wasn't allowed to have her own possessions. She made a friend out of the counselor there, who was nice to her and all of her alters. On her 11th birthday, the counselor gave her the hoodie she had been swaddled in, the basinet she was found in, and the photo of her father and her. Briana was then told to follow him outside. She did, and the orphanage burst into flames. Turns out, her counselor was actually the Zipper Killer, a serial killer known to target young people - commonly children - and had put zippers in the place of the body he deemed most beautiful, right before killing them and having s3x with the body. He managed to knock her out, and when she woke up, she had a zipper implanted in her lower left arm and her captor had been killed by a gun. She assumed it had been Lucas to kill him, and after much thought, Briana became the new Zipper Killer, or just Zipper for short. But she targeted child abusers and molestors, all around terrible people. She was discover by Zalgo and recruited, to be found by Slender and rescued by him 2 years later.
Qwynn, Harper, Maeve, and Wilbur are the children of Erin, Tim, and Brian! Qwynn and Harper are Erin and Brian's, while Maeve and Wilbur are Tim's. Maeve is chaos incarnate, and Qwynn is a silent ninja. Wilbur over here is just trying to survive with 4 girls.
Erin, Cas, Qwynn, Harper, Maeve, Wilbur, and Theo all belong to @identity-theft-101!
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.long time no see
My last blog entry dates 11th of February 2021. It has been more than a year and a half. Last time I said I will write more often in order to keep track life and also reflect and remember the important milestones. Somehow, I did not manage to do that. Although, I always thought about it, sometimes I even planned to write, but in the end, I did not get to do it.
I don’t know where to start, a lot of things happened since. Probably it would be the best if I would stick to the timeline so I don’t miss anything and it will make sense later.
In 2021, I lost my grandmother. She’s been in and out of hospital, the doctors could not really help her, surgery was needed, but it was very risky given her age. Two or three days before she died, she called me in the morning around 4am. I thought my grandfather called to tell us she has died. But no, she called me, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Probably she had a tube down her throat, so I couldn’t make it out. I told her I will call her later that day. But after that she was not picking up. Then some days later my father called (while I was hanging out with Csabi and Lukáš) that she had died. It hit me, I was sad of course, but I also felt a relief that she is no longer suffering and she can get her well-deserved peace. I often think about her, how I would tell her about everything new in my life. She would be so happy for me, for us.
After the pandemic and all the restrictions summer came, when we went for a trip to Croatia with Zsolti, Dominik and my sister. It was the longest drive in my life, nearly 12 hours if I recall it correctly. It was a great experience. We arrived with just 3-5 breaks; I was okay without taking a nap. The trip was awesome, mainly because we finally got to go on a holiday. Secondly, it was a great bonding experience with Dominik. Before that, we weren’t that close, or at least I felt it that way.
During the summer, we got a great opportunity and decided to move from our 1-room apartment after 2 years. It was an emotional goodbye, since it was our first home together and we had a great relationship with our landlady as well. At the beginning of October, with help of our friends we’ve moved to a spacious 3-room apartment. It was a stressful move - our contract at the old place was coming to an end and it was questionable if we can actually move in to our new place, since the owners had some problems with the company that was building their house. But in the end, it turned out fine. There was a lot of work, like fixing holes in the wall, painting, moving a lot of stuff, cleaning everything.
To be honest, I like this space much better than the previous one. Firstly, it’s more spacious and secondly, I really like what we did with the place.
I took some time to settle in, but we were enjoying our new home. Meanwhile I was advancing in my job. I still work at the same place, gradually getting more and more responsibility, which also reflects on my income.
On the 23rd of November, I decided to take the next big step in our relationship and I proposed to Miška. I had many ideas about the way I will propose - I had some trips in mind, Edinburg for example. But when the ring arrived, I just couldn’t wait (also it was Covid, lot of restrictions), I was way too excited and decided to propose to her on that day in our living room. She had the most terrible day; she was sad and exhausted. I decided to light up her mood by dancing. I chose one of her favourite songs from Harry Styles. While we were dancing, she wasn’t suspicious at all. Then I started telling her what I love about her, how I’m excited to build a future together, got down on one knee and asked the question - she said yes.
The year ended with us celebrating Christmas and New Year with our family and friends. Looking back, 2021 was a great year with many things that pushed us further on our journey in life.
2022 started out well, things were looking up work-wise as well. Some side jobs came my way so generally my income increased. During summer, we finally went to visit Zsolti in Manchester. After that we were invited to Aďka and Kika’s wedding in Wales, which was a great weekend too. We got closer with Stanka and Kovo and decided to invite them to our wedding.
A lot of things happened in 2022 so far, this post would be endless if I were to sum all them up. I should take the time more often to sit down and reflect on life not just by meditating, but writing about it too.
At the time of writing this, we are in the process of moving again (after just 1 year), because they guy, we are renting the flat from decided to sell it. With the wedding being just a month away, life got very complicated quickly. But this got us thinking that maybe we need to change our plans and buy an apartment instead of renting one. This way, nobody would kick us out.
Probably we were a bit naïve when we thought we could be in the same apartment for 5 years or so to save up some money and build our own house. This is a slight change of plans, but it’s for the better.
With us thinking about having a baby after the wedding, living in our own space gives us more certainty and security.
However, we need to wait with the loan after the wedding, just to be sure we would get the whole loan from the bank (better requirements for married couples). This makes our situation a bit difficult, since we need to move out from our current place and nobody rents an apartment for just 2-3 months.
Luckily, we agreed with the sellers of our new apartment that we can move in while we sort out our loan. We are truly grateful they understood our situation and agreed to help us this way.
Let’s hope everything works out for us, like it did always.
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Happy and Abroad
Traveling is defined as going to different places instead of staying in one place or to go on a trip or journey. There are many ways to interpret this phrase but the one I want to discuss is the beloved one. Traveling should include new adventures around the world for relaxation and fun. Though there are so many places to visit, it may be impossible to reach every corner of the world in one lifetime. One thing we know for sure is that no matter where we go there are different cultures, traditions, and expectations. Personally, traveling has always been one of my favorite things to do and I have had the great privilege to have already, at my very young age, to have gone all over Europe and throughout the Caribbean.
As Americans we have failed by limiting our travel abilities to the corporate standard of two weeks out of the year that is if people are even able to acquire this amount. In many countries of the world particularly in Brazil and Finland people get a month of paid vacation that gives people the time to rest as well as refresh their systems. Researchers have found ample research that proves that traveling abroad have physical, emotional, and mental health benefits. For example, studies have found that women who vacation at least twice a year have been found to significantly decrease their risk in suffering a heart attack than those who only traveled once every couple of years. In addition, the reason that most people travel is to have a nice and relaxing time and for this reason traveling is most known for decreasing stress and enhancing your creativity. A professor at Columbia Business School explained that “foreign experiences increase both cognitive flexibility and depth and integrativeness of thought.”
When traveling there are also different safety precautions to consider. There are some places that are considered more dangerous and some where you may feel safer. The top three countries that have been coined as the safest in the world include Iceland, Switzerland, and Denmark. One of my favorite places that I traveled to when I was in Europe was Switzerland so today, I will be sharing my experience throughout my time here.
Switzerland is home to some of the best tasting chocolate, best quality of living and amazing views, with some of the bluest water I have ever seen in my life. One of the places that was most memorable was the Chateau de Chillion where I learned the castle in the film ‘The Little Mermaid’ was based off! This castle was almost entirely surrounded by the stunning water from Lake Geneva. The part of the tour that really was burned into my mind wasn’t until the very end where we reached the cellar portion. Here we learned that they kept prisoners and punished them as well. There was one area that had metal bars, much like you would see in prisons, where we were told following prisoners or traitors’ punishment they were thrown out into the water below the castle. You can only imagine the horror in everyone’s faces after we had just been staring in awe of the gorgeous surroundings to the castle.
Another adventure of mine during my time in Switzerland was the Bern bear pit attraction. Entering this park, there is a bridge where we saw many people jumping into the water below them as if it were a swimming pool. I only wish I would have followed suit, though I was instructed not to do so as the current from the natural waters was extremely hard and would sweep me away if I was not accustomed to it. Once in the park, we got to see to brown bears up close swimming, napping, eating and learn the interesting history of the bears. All in all, Switzerland was one of my all-time favorite places that I have travelled to and would recommend it to anyone looking to travel to Europe!
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I learn a new programming language, Scratch, designed for children
As a busy working mom, I am always exhausted at the end of the day after work, family time, and endless chores. I never got through my learning path in Udemy. My ML course with Professor Andrew Ng on Coursera was sitting there for years, not finished. Studying after work is very challenging. However, that doesn’t mean I am not learning. I am still able to learn good useful little things here and there. Life experience never stops. Thanks to my dear little one, she helped me learn a few things in Scratch, a programming language designed for children. Well, I’d say it’s for all ages who are interested in coding for fun. Yes, it’s so much fun for me too as an adult with grey hair.
This is how it started. I was on leave one Friday for self care. I didn’t want to do anything on the screen. Coffee, books, gym and a nap are the only things on my agenda. But things didn’t go as planned. LO woke up with sore throat. Since she wasn’t able to go anywhere, she asked me if we can code tic-tac-toe together in Scratch. The journey started…
The experience was quite interesting and amazing. Here are some highlights:
Pair Programming, team work makes the dream work - We first worked together on the paper. We would agree on the high level plan to tackle a particular problem. I knew nothing about Scratch. She knows how to use Scratch but not much of computer science or some math concepts. We became the perfect pair programming partners helping each other. #XP for the win!
QA is your best friend - The sequence usually went like this. I wrote a piece of code, she helped test. She followed my pattern/logic extending to the second player then we tested it together. We ensure we got all the possible test scenarios covered and the program worked as expected. There were actually quite a few bugs we discovered because we didn’t think of a few scenarios. Never ever ask a technology team to skip testing when asking for an urgent feature. NEVER, please!
Just like Lego - I find Scratch programming is fascinating because it works just like lego You don’t have to worry about syntax. You put things together if it fits. Boolean are in one shape that fits in the conditional statement. It makes the concept so easy to grasp for users.
Master Pub/Sub Pattern - In Scratch, each character/object is called a “sprite”. Each sprite is independent and you cannot access another sprite. For example, if I have a sprite “submit button”, when clicked, I’d like to make another sprite “Done Label” to appear. Submit button sprite will not be able to gain access to control Done label sprite. Unlike JavaScript or Java, the only way to achieve in Scratch is though pub/sub by broadcasting and listening to a message. Now when I am at work dealing with pub/sub in the angular app or API’s asynchronous service-to-service communication, it puts a big smile on my face knowing how Scratch embraces this pattern and makes an impact in the younger generation.
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