#they don't really consume me in any meaningful way though???
Text
dragon's dogma 2 thoughts so far, roughly 7 hours in:
out in the field, performance is mostly fine. it dips for me sometimes but it stays around 60 fps for the most part. being in the big city is rough, there's like 150 npcs all walking around doing their own thing and it makes the game chug, on my pc it drags it down to 30 fps average, sometimes 20 fps at the lowest points. they really need to clean that up.
i've just been playing fighter so far, and i'm enjoying the new combat system. it feels a lot looser than dd1, the soft lockon from dd1 is even softer. getting staggered and stunlocked by enemies is a real threat, you take much longer to recover from getting knocked over than you did in dd1. the revamped heavy attack button being more used for dealing decisive high damage hits on staggered or stunned enemies is such a good idea.
they swapped the buttons for block and special sword attacks and that kept throwing me off at first lol. perfect parry timing feels about the same as it did in dd1. you can actually use your heavy attack while mounting a monster without instantly jumping off, it's great. my pawn is an archer and honestly i think she does more dps than me sometimes, she's come in clutch so many times already.
the main kicker i've been feeling is the how they treat your health pool. in dd1 you could just spam consumables to cure your health back to maximum at any time, but they've changed how it works here in dd2. now, whenever you take damage, you lose a tiny bit of your max hp. whether a mage casts a heal or you drink a potion, you can't get all the way back up to full until you rest at an inn or a campsite. so now you play a longer-term game of "do i go find a camp and rest to full or do i go fight this ogre at 50% max hp". i enjoy being stupid so i tend to not rest until i absolutely have to lol.
you can actually preview which vocations have what augments now, which saves a trip opening up a browser and searching for that info. you do have to unlock warrior and sorcerer as well as the other new vocations, but warrior and sorcerer was literally "go to a cave, kill some goblins, get the stolen weapons back, ok you're good to go now". took like 30 mins after reaching the big city.
i have encountered every single microtransaction item within the first 5 hours of playing. they mostly either cost gold or rift crystals, and are relatively cheap. i got a camping kit for free for reaching the first oxcart. i got the harpy lure for free by helping a random person out and about. i've gotten four wakestones already. the microtransactions are stupid and so obviously mandated by some dinosaur executive but you're an even bigger moron if you think any of this stuff is meaningful or locked-off content.
uhh what else. turning your lantern on and off is nice and quick. your pawns actually talk amongst each other now. i don't know how different the inclination system is yet so i don't know if doing the d-pad pawn commands changes them. those commands seem to actually work properly now though. ran away from a fight and told my pawns "to me!" and they actually disengaged the fight and ran with me, so that's nice. don't like the music as much as the first game so far, we'll see how it fares once i actually fight a monster bigger than a cyclops.
52 notes
·
View notes
Note
do you have any advice on comic-making / executing a story? i have one all planned but idk where to start now that its time to actually write / draw it out ;;
Sure! Here's some excerpts from a script I wrote awhile ago about making a comic, especially a Warriors-based one (though it mostly applies to any comic project).
"Off the bat, and before you make any bold moves, I do recommend a good amount of planning. But since you've already got that part done, the real best place to start is to just start. It sounds easy, but working up the nerve to really begin your project is what stops 99% of people from any creative endeavour. Don’t worry about quality, perfection, readership when you start your comic - those will come along the way. You should form your structure and lay down your foundation, but at some point you just need to start.
I am, at heart, a writer. I love and enjoy art, but writing comes easily and quickly to me, and I have years of practice at it. So for scripting, I wrote individual chapter summaries and a full script before I started TDS. But I know some comic artists who write the script as they’re going along! Generally, if you’re someone who wants more structure, you’ll probably want a full script. If you’d rather be more loose with your comic, chapter summaries and ideas with dialogue on the day would be for you. It can vary from project to project, too; for PATFW, I've written out full summaries for each issue, but I don't write the story itself until I begin to work on the issue in full.
Motivation is a tricky question, because most of creative motivation is intrinsic, and that is simply not something that you can gain in any easy way except real passion. It’s that feeling you’ll have if a story connects with you in a meaningful way, one that can’t just be rushed into. But I think extrinsic motivation can include things like setting reasonable and achievable goals for yourself. Promising to yourself that you’re going to upload one page every week, or do all the lineart for a batch of pages on Sunday, or that you’re going to write one sheet of your script every time you have an hour of free time, can help you stay on track and get used to the rigor of committing to a large project.
Lastly for this post, I cannot stress HOW important a buffer is. For those of you who don’t know, a buffer is just an amount of pages you’ve completed prior to posting your current page. For example, when I would post page 50, I would have already completed pages up to 59. Buffers are critical because they allow you to make room for unexpected or time-consuming events in your life without sacrificing your comic. They help you maintain a schedule, which as I already discussed is important for motivation and consistency. There is no “correct” amount of pages for a buffer, either. I personally work about ten pages ahead. I know people who work entire chapters ahead of posting. There are some people who only have a few pages in the hopper before they post. There are even those who finish their whole comic before posting any of it! It’s all up to you and how much you decide to do."
I hope any of that was helpful!
76 notes
·
View notes
Note
very nice to see an active szpd-focused blog that is not...for lack of a better term...Edgy. many schizoid blogs i've come across really play up the whole "void" aesthetic+while i'm sure it's true+meaningful for them, i don't relate to it+am not interested in the theatrics of it at all. you're doing good work by creating a space dedicated to exploring+discussing szpd+related concepts without the pervasive nihilistic trappings that have turned me off from most others. i want to discuss living with szpd, not surrendering to it! salute o7
(feel free not to answer this publicly/at all if it comes off as needlessly dismissive to that genre of blog. i can't tell if i'm being "mean," and i can't not mention it, because not mentioning it would entirely miss what i appreciate so much about this blog)
Hi I'll use this ask as an opportunity to tell a bit more about this blog and other stuff !!
I run this blog partly for the sake of others. Anything I share here is not only done as a way to voice my thoughts, but also in hopes that someone would find something they can relate to, or even comfort as i have after discovering there are people dealing with Very Similar Situations which i know as The Szpd. for the longest time i never had any points of comparison for myself while knowing the average person likely wouldn’t impose total isolation and a chronic vow of silence on themselves among other average person things. It was a state of knowing something was off but never being able to put a finger on what exactly. I felt szpd was already as hidden as it is so I figured someone has to try and keep the awareness going. This way I'm also putting all these thoughts to good use.
Your ask pretty much validates the reason why I created this blog!! thank you it means a lot to read this.
And whether someone chooses to focus more negatively or positively on szpd, they’re all valid! Since szpd isn’t known for its pretty sides as with all other pd’s and conditions, that does make it very easy to be fixated on the nasty parts, especially if all it does is making your life miserable. if this has brought me any kind of joy then I wouldn't notice. I'd say the main danger is the risk of being consumed by the misery and getting trapped in a vicious circle.
But yeah. it would be very, very strange if you were to think positively of things like this. I suppose it's one way to tell if you're somehow faking it. The realistic thing to do is to come to good terms with it. Hard, but possible enough.
I have seen another post calling out the focus mainly placed on negativity which I've yet to reblog. They phrased it really well in a blunt way, it's arguably one of the most motivating szpd post I've read. Being trapped in narrow sighted ways of thinking isn't something I want even though nothing about this is easy. This is why I consciously try not to let my writing become full blown complaints or be saturated with pain and misery, while it's very easy to indulge myself into such things. I keep in mind to make my writing productive in some way or another. I'm pretty awful at this in my own journal but it works much better if people could be reading!! being held accountable this way which is pretty cool.
#if anything sticks out weirdly that is because I've written most of this at the most stressful place on earth#i didn't really expect the blog to take off this fast but i won't complain!!#schizoid#szpd#schizoud personality disorder#actuallyschizoid#asks#rambling
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
You've spoken about your opinion on sufin but do you have any opinions/headcanons about other nordic shops like dennor and hongice?
I like DenNor, and I get why people ship it! But I just personally never really got into it. To me, they're so brother-coded. Or it may be just one of my delusions once again and me flipping the script. To me, Denmark is a ridiculous older brother, who likes provoking his younger siblings when he's bored and Norway is a more reasonable younger brother, who actually takes care of everything behind the scenes. Denmark is more outgoing with a lot of friends, while Norway is a bit weird and quiet loner. They're opposites, which makes them very entertaining!
Same thing with HongIce; I should be able to ship it. But it just never clicked. It also just never felt that natural. I know they have some canon interactions, but it still feels a bit pushed, y'know. Just taking two of the younger characters and shipping them together. Even shipping Indonesia and Iceland makes more sense to me, and it's something I'm way more interested in. Iceland is just such a tough character to ship anyone with regardless. I just really vibe with the idea of him being so detached from dating and not being particularly interested in the whole topic altogether. And even if he was seeing somebody, he wouldn't dare to introduce them to his family. I do, however, adore Iceland and Hong Kong as friends! They'd have a lot in common; having international friends is cute and fun, and I should make more content about it <3
But I do want to clarify this by saying that it's a me issue, not an issue with the ship itself. I still consume HongIce and DenNor content; I don't dislike the idea nor do I avoid them. I just don't have a strong opinion on the issue one way or another. And there are other relationship dynamics that I prefer with them even more. That's really the only reason why I don't ship them
I've mentioned it before but I see the Nordics as found-family. I always felt that bringing romantic feelings in there is ultimately gonna make it unnecessarily messy and awkward. Unless you're into Nordic polycule!
In my experience, shipping just takes up so much screen time. It doesn't leave a lot of room to explore other things in storytelling. I doubt I'm the only one who feels this way. Especially, when we're talking about country personifications. The world-building aside, you can use these characters to tell something meaningful about your people, compare and learn about different cultures and history. That's so much fun for me; I love seeing and researching topics like that! Storytelling-wise, romance adds drama and it has its place - but it's not going to be fun if that's all that there is
I have to confess that I don't really care about shipping anyway. I'm so out of that loop. Is it imagining two of your favorite characters kissing? Having sex? It probably means different things for different people but I just never felt particularly interested in that. However, I do like imagining and pondering when, where, and why these characters got together. How do they get along? What sort of obstacles they might have? Will they overcome those? It's not so much about thinking how they're together but when and why. But then again, I do that with all sorts of relationships; romantic, familial, parental, or platonic. That's probably why shipping is just a "whatever" topic to me. I get the same "kick" by seeing characters being best friends rather than romantic/sexual partners. But it's true; some characters just make sense as a couple. But DenNor and HongIce are just not those kinds of pairs to me
I am fascinated by people who are really into shipping though. Your minds are so intriguing. You really like the idea of that character getting railed blind and I can respect that. But this shows that people consume and think of fiction in different ways, and all of those ways are valid. So just because I don't ship your OTP, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't even mean it's bad. I'm just one voice with one opinion! Also if people tag my posts as [ship x], whatever. You can consume and take my posts as you want <3
#this is an interesting look into my thought process - diagnose me /j#ngl i feel like a monster crushing children's dreams. listen they're good ships!!!!!!!!!!!!#anski talks
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi pidgy, how are you doing? i don't know anything about trigun but i'm just happy to see you on my dash living your best life. what is one (or more if you like, don't let me restrain your joy in any way!) important trigun fact i should know? :3
(T w T) i had to break out my sketchbook immediately and start sketching this as soon as i read your lovely ask <3 thank you, wonderful friend! <3 <3 <3
i don't know if this is... quite what you would have expected when you asked this~ or if this is what anyone else would say - since, we all have very different relationships with art we consume (or that consumes us! lol) - but the singular, driving fact of Trigun that immediately came to my mind (and filled my eyes with tears) was: kindness.
is that one word something that can really even be sighted as a "fact" about a written and animated piece of narrative art? maybe not~ but the very nebulous, transformative, and even mundane NECCESSITY of kindness is what Trigun is to ME.
it doesn't even matter if you know anything about the story at all for me to state my case though~ because we are all alive. we have to keep going on day-to-day to exist; and that's incredibly difficult. we don't need to live in a fantastical, desolate, violent, sci-fi western to experience - even just second hand - the struggles inherent to living. but as you move through Trigun's narrative (which you can absorb in a lot of different forms now) all of it's horrors and triumphs come back to one thing for me: the undeniable force of - and need for - kindness in the world.
Trigun's main character, Vash, is incredibly foundational to me because his stories came into my life at a time when standing strong and remaining kind - in the face of unrelenting, banal, unkindness - was beginning to feel impossible. he is a mess of scars, both physical and intangible, and yet he carries on trying to do good in the world. Like an unhinged magical girl he yells, "PEACE AND LOVE!" in a way which reminds me of how insecure teenagers - and us disillusioned adults - laugh unironically at our own grim, gallows humour. Sure he's good with a gun, but he's even better with his heart; yet it's a heart that's been broken over and over and over again.
still~ he carries on.
we might awe at the spectacles of violence and heroics; despair at the cruelties and killing. We might weep over deaths and losses, laugh at the humour, and shed tears over the beauty; but it's the KINDNESS that moves and shapes things in the most meaningful ways, for the most people, for the better. And that's not just a Trigun fact, that's a LIFE fact~ and that's why i love Trigun so much, and am so, so happy that people are rediscovering it and returning to it because of the 2023 adaptation.
i love Trigun. and i love it's kindness most of all <3
#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#vash the stampede#nicolas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#pidgy drew#pidgy asks#pidgy doodles#artists on tumblr#oof#yeah#i couldn't even write this without crying!#lol!#but you know me#i'm an overly sentimental crybaby jellyfish!#looollll XD#2023 Vash tugs at my heartstrings even harder cuz i'm constantly like 'yeah~ we should all just have a good cry about this'#lol lol lol lol lol#precious little plant baby#i hold you in my heart forever#<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3#thank you for this beautiful ask vox <3
53 notes
·
View notes
Note
Nearly every single modern computer utilizes cobalt, a mineral whose supply chain is so heavily dominated by slave labor that it's practically impossible to ethically source. Ignoring AI, it is even ethical to do digital art at all? The production of a drawing tablet is not a victimless crime.
I feel you when you want to reduce this to something as simple as a comparison. But bear with me (or alternatively, I put a tl;dr/conclusion at the end).
Much of capitalism is unethical - yes. I agree with this point completely. It's impossible to completely avoid unethical consumption in the world we live in. But it's good to be thoughtful of it and I think businesses and governments responsible for bad practice should be held accountable. Sadly I can't change the world on my own in any meaningful way, but i'll do my part where I can & vote people into power that care about this too.
Taking your comparison for a second, I feel like the art project of that OP was asking a much more direct "I bought cobalt I didn't need and then turned into a children's toy, could this be art?". And my reply was basically yeah sure it could be art, but was it worth it? My point is that I'm not sure on that last part, and leaning towards a 'no'. They specifically sourced it unethically and made that the center piece, which is distinct from the utilitarian nature of consumer electronics we need to get through our lives. Unethical sourcing of art can be a goal or statement (like here cw dead pets) but will then of course still be a part of it. I don't think ethics were considered for the post we're discussing though and it instead only discussed the very unproductive 'is it art' discourse. This, of course, matters about as much as my "dick" being objectively "long" or not.
Maybe getting a little sidetracked, but I also want to mention that cobalt is an extremely useful metal, whereas AI.. well.. i've mentioned the very human cost of mturk and the wholesale theft of the entire internet. There's also:
the power required
the jobs in art it threatens and therefore the skilled labor we stand to lose if we're not careful
the inevitable price hike and betrayal of the public as soon as alternatives are out competed (this will happen)
the risks of biases (racism, ableism, sexism) in an opaque weighted system like AI & the fact we cannot deal with this except for slapping some extra prompts in front
AI poisoning our actual collective knowledge with untrue shit. Recent cases in point being the hilarious fake mouse dick science being published and the ai generated inaccurate servals on google, but there's a lot more going on
the risks of companies and people in power using AI to more efficiently screw everybody over and hide behind 'machine told me so' accountability loopholes
the risks of AI being used in all sorts of malinformed use cases
But what are the gains? What do we stand to win? Call me cynical, but we already had an infinite amount of pictures at our fingertips, as well as all the mediocre writing you could ever want (but actually much better because someone loved writing it). I feel like all these general AI's are good for is filling the pockets of some very rich robber barons and grifters, as well as diluting everything that's beautiful and true in the world.
Quick sidenote - Some specialist AI have genuinely already improved the world, like with medical screenings, but even then it's hard to really call it a win because reverse engineering the reasoning of an AI is so fucking hard. And again, they're a slippery slope with insurance companies wanting a piece of that pie badly, just so they can apply their 'justified' penalties to people not even sick yet.
tl/dr; So in conclusion, no, I don't think your comparison holds up. I agree that it sucks that so much of necessary consumption is unethical in ways we can't easily fix as consumers. But one thing bad does not equate other thing good. If anything, it should inspire you to do better where you can make a difference and hold the ones responsible for the exploitation in this world accountable.
Don't let it eat you up though. I'm not even saying you can't use it for inspiration ever. But any art based on these generated pictures cannot be divorced from the ugly side we'd rather not see: the underpaid army of technically not slaves and the wholesale theft of everything.
also sorry but i couldn't not include this (source: matt bors)
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
DISEASE and WRATH!
#2020
If you had to live in a setting of your creation, which would you pick?
tbh probably the rebuilt galaxy as portrayed in my Mass Efffect fics. Like yeah we all have turbo-PTSD now from the galactic genocide but other than that we're doing pretty good!
Do you prefer writing endings or beginnings?
Both, though if I had to choose, endings 100%. Genuinely though, beginnings and endings are my favorite parts. Finding the right place to drop into a story is great! And there is, genuinely, nothing more satisfying than finding exactly where a story is meant to end.
I would argue, honestly, that being able to tell when it's time to end a story is a core, essential, basic skill of writing. This applies to scenes, chapters, whole works....not knowing how to END something is how you get like. There are these monster fics that are good and enjoyable, but they're 86 fucking chapters long and by the time you get 1/3 of the way through you've completely lost track of anything that happened in the setup....but if the whole work had been broken up into a series, those four 20-chapter fics would be much easier to keep straight and the work would have a better, more cohesive structure overall.
It's actually kind of hurtful to me as a writer when I've wrapped a story up really well, tied it off, told exactly the story that needed to be there, and get well-meaning comments encouraging me to "continue" it. (Which is usually, for the record, not quite the same thing as "I'd absolutely read more stories in this setting/timeline/style if you were to write them", because that sentiment still respects that the existing work is whole, complete, and ends where it should.)
I'm not going to get MAD obviously, they don't mean any harm, but it does kind of feel like they're not actually engaging with the story that exists in any meaningful way--like, tell me you see my fic as Content TM without telling me, you know? You're not engaging with the narrative, you're just Consuming and immediately holding out your hand for more. I'm glad you thought it was good and it's obviously a compliment that you want more, but like....did you even stop to taste it?
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just finished this game, which I played because my brain has been fried by work problems and I needed something to chill with, but mainly because @konec0 did the soundtrack and I wanna support what he's doing. Still appreciate you pitching in on Nepetaquest 2011 back in the day, dude!
Cuisineer is an arcadey restaurant manager game, and also an isometric hack-and-slash dungeon-crawler roguelike. You delve dungeons to get ingredients, you cook and serve those ingredients in your restaurant, you get money with which to upgrade things and get more ingredients and serve more food. Solid concept!
Does it work? Well... It's very cute, and very polished, but it's held back by some very strange design decisions.
In short... its primary and secondary gameplay loops clearly had a lot of love put into them, but the tertiary loop- the progression systems- are very weirdly balanced to the point of being almost broken.
Bad thing 1
The main problem: everything costs wood and stone. Everything costs wood and stone, and costs more wood and stone the further you upgrade things. But you don't get more wood and stone the further you get in the game, at least once your inventory space maxes out. Wood and stone give way to Magic Wood and Super-Stone of various sorts, which are required for stronger upgrades, but you still need big piles of the basic stuff and can't substitute the advanced stuff, and it's the limiting factor on every single purchase in the game except health potions and rugs for some reason. Combine that with sharply limited inventory space, and money from running the restaurant very swiftly stops mattering compared to how many times you've farmed the starting level for crafting materials. It functionally locks you out of what might be fun systems, like the decoration and furniture stuff- since doing anything cosmetic trades off against progression.
Bad thing 2
Also- in the dungeon-crawler half, there's not much advancement to speak of. You might think these resources could be spent to make you stronger, but... upgrading weapons is expensive and time-consuming and has extremely marginal rewards. Like, the starting weapon does 10 damage, and a fully-upgraded endgame weapon might do 15. The game seems to be trying really hard to avoid being an RPG and letting the player get stronger over time- the various mechanics for upgrading your combat capabilities are just not worth it, and the random weapon drops are mostly identical and do nothing but clutter your inventory.
(It feels like it's trying to limit progression so it can bill itself as a roguelike, even though that's not really what the game is on any meaningful level? Not a choice that really works for it as its own game, imo.)
Bad thing(?) 3
The game's combat is an odd duck. It's... very polished, and very compelling, if you use the one approach that actually works. There's nine weapons, but only a handful are viable with the way combat is designed.
Enemies have very short windows where it's safe to attack them, and are quick to punish you for bad timing or wrong positioning. Reminds me of a soulslike, almost. Healing is sharply limited, so you really need to be careful not to get hit by stuff- and there's so much stuff. Walk into a room, or too close to a room, and everything in it will instantly aggro you, including artillery enemies with long-distance ranged attacks. Problems appear quickly and overwhelmingly, so combat ends up being a case of... dodging massive walls of tomato danmaku and miscellaneous enemy projectiles as you charge into rooms full of enemies and hazards, trying to find one safe place to stand for one second while you hit one enemy for chip damage, over and over again until you gradually thin the enemy numbers and win yourself room to breathe. It's very intense and very fun once you get the rhythm...
...but some weapons just plain don't fit into that rhythm. Many enemies need to be consistently stunlocked to deal damage to them safely, and the reloading projectile weapons and slow hard-hitting weapons just can't do that, forcing you to take hits, which you can't afford to do. Narrow-hitbox spear-type weapons fare poorly against crowds of small enemies who can slip past your guard, which are Everywhere. There's a fun kebab weapon that lets you charge and dash around the stage, but levels are claustrophobic and full of hazards that punish you for doing that. As Chiyo Kumasawa foretold: the only thing you can rely on is your trusty mackerel.
There's also a weird and kind of funny tradeoff where... you can't meaningfully upgrade your damage, but you can roll elemental status effects that can give you some multipliers and useful passive AoE damage as you're dashing around trying not to die. But... these huge AoE elemental effects have very wide, obtrusive visuals that hide the enemies on the screen, and you really need to be paying attention to enemy animations so you don't get hit. It's a sort of unintentional tradeoff of defense for strength, which weirdly works.
Bad thing 4
The writing's kinda flat. You've been hoodwinked into taking on your parents' debt and running their restaurant, you have to pay it off- it's established pretty hastily and mainly ignored. The townspeople have very cute designs, but they're all kind of nothingburger characters whose lives revolve around the urgent need for you to deliver them lots of random food items for contrived reasons in exchange for recipes and stuff. Cast kind of comes off like some softcore smut artist's stable of OCs whose personalities were afterthoughts. Doesn't really go anywhere, the localization's pretty stiff, most jokes don't land... doesn't seem like there was a lot of effort put in there.
Good thing 1
I spill way more words nitpicking flaws than I do praising stuff, but I did enjoy this game enough to finish it, and it's not for no reason.
Firstly- the restaurant section. I have no complaints about the restaurant mode! It's polished to a mirror sheen, honestly. I'm given to understand the restaurant sim is a genre, mainly native to phones, and maybe this all works because it's cribbing mechanics from some more successful inspiration I've never heard of, but... it's just very enjoyable, void of potentially annoying cooking mechanics and letting you focus on queuing up dishes, keeping track of orders, and dashing around making sure everything is running smoothly. The balance job is very nice- the difficulty during lunch and dinner rushes is just enough to make you sweat a little as things ramp up, and they last just long enough to get the most out of the pressure without totally overwhelming you. Chef's kiss, no notes.
Good thing 2
konec0's soundtrack is real good! I mostly know him for his electroswing and HS fanmusic, but he can clearly pull off a wide range of styles. It matches the overall sound design really well and it's enjoyable to listen to. Excellent job there!
Good thing 3
The "final dungeon" segment does this very cool and fun thing where it combines the dungeon-crawling combat and the restaurant management into one challenging final exam where you have to survive combat arenas to scrounge up ingredients as you cook them up and serve them, which would maybe get exhausting in core gameplay but works really well as a challenge for the end of the game. Liiiiittle bit too easy in the first two rounds, but it's fine.
Good thing 4
I already mentioned this alongside the nitpicks, but: when the combat works, it works- the feel of it is satisfying, the challenge is well-calibrated, and the animations look great and convey what's happening well.
Good thing 5
Also the character art is very cute. Lot of fun designs there, even if as mentioned the characters they're attached to are pretty flat. The game's just gorgeous in general- the artists knocked it out of the park.
OH WAIT BAD THING 5
The game's cover/key art prominently features a squid that throws ninja stars! But there's no squid that throws ninja stars in the game! How the heck did that happen!!! Give me the ninja squid!!!!!
#cuisineer#game rec#idk if it's a rec since my opinions are pretty mixed but it should go in the tag#maybe i should go through and add a game review tag
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello there! In one of your episode reviews, you said that Doc seems to base his self worth off of how people see his intelligence. Did you have any more thoughts on that?
Hi! Some additional thoughts for you:
So, I'm going to separate Cartoon Doc and Trilogy Doc while discussing my thoughts for this, since the characters are so different. But, yes, the "Retired" episode of the cartoon is entirely centered around Doc falling apart at the seams when a malfunction in one of his inventions informs him that he's used up nearly all of his brain power.
In just the span of a few hours, he comes to the conclusion that he's useless to his family, and they'd all be better off without him. In his mind, he's a burden if he can no longer use his intellect to create inventions that better the life of his family, and it pushes him to make the decision to leave altogether. Big thumbs down to Doc for abandoning his family.
BUT! It does say a lot about who he is if he thinks that not being "smart" equates to "having no purpose." And it's very clear that Doc thinks this way specifically about himself–not about other people. All the love and support he gives to his family apparently isn't enough on its own. Very sad! I can only assume that this dysfunctional line of thinking stemmed from the way he was raised and treated as a child and that he was only treated as if he had value when he was using his brain to contribute something. As far as I know, Doc's father isn't mentioned in the cartoons, but as I (jokingly) mentioned in my episode review, I can only assume Cartoon Erhardt is to blame here.
As far as Trilogy Doc goes, I don't really see him as having many insecurities tied to his intelligence. At least, not to the extent that Cartoon Doc does. Trilogy Doc doesn't strike me as someone who cares at all what other people think of him, and I definitely don't see him being duped by some silly brainpower machine that tells him he's used all his thoughts up.
I can, however, picture him reaching a point of giving up if pushed enough. Let's say, for instance, that the time machine hadn't worked that night at the mall. (I mean, assuming the speeding car didn't just plow into Doc and Marty, of course) If it hadn't run at all, or if it had malfunctioned in some other way, I think that'd be a crushing blow to Doc. He's poured decades into trying to harness the power of time travel. The process of exploring the science behind it and actually building the flux capacitor and making modifications to the car has consumed and bankrupted him. Doc's built a lot of nifty things over the years, but this is The Big One. He's been waiting all his life for this very moment! To have it all result in failure would do a number on him, I'm sure.
I could see him struggling with the aftermath. Maybe concluding it had all been pointless, and he'd given so much of his time to something that isn't even possible. Perhaps he'd just return to making little gadgets for around his garage or running his "scientific services" business, where he takes the occasional job fixing someone's television. This is where I think there could be some overlap between Cartoon Doc and Trilogy Doc–at least in the realm of not feeling smart enough or good enough to contribute anything meaningful to society. This also is where the information we have on Doc's father could for sure come into play and lead Doc to wonder if maybe his dad was right, and he should have given up science long ago.
Trilogy Doc is hardy, though, and I like to believe that he'd find a way to pick himself back up even if his biggest experiment ever didn't work. Maybe after taking some time to sulk (which would be understandable!) he'd buckle down even harder and be all the more determined to figure out how to get that DeLorean to travel through time. Besides, he's got an impressionable young friend who is lacking in the self-esteem department as it is. What message does it send Marty if the one guy who is always hammering in the "you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it" message decides to abandon a goal after a failure? It'd be a hard teaching moment for sure, but I don't put it past Doc to be able to regroup and soon have a new game plan.
Thanks for the ask!
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thoughts on writing longer form fics/fiction vs shorter form?
Oh, a lot! Let's see...
I think both are extremely difficult but also extremely fun in their own ways.
Shortform fiction is a challenge for me, because it means I need to clearly delineate what belongs into it and what doesn't. Focus on what should be there and include that. What aids the theme? What drives the story to its soon goal? How can I make sure everything flows together into a series of striking and effective moments without wasting and time? If you fail on this selection process, the short story will meander and leave the reader confused by the end, especially if things that clearly need to be resolved are left unresolved. (Note: Some unresolved threads can be effective for a powerful ending, but they need to be purposeful unresolved. If you start a seemingly important subplot about a character going through something important and then never do anything with it and don't tie it into any theme, you've just wasted the reader's attention and time). The big advantage of shortform fiction is that you can make a meaningful statement and create powerful emotion much more quickly and powerfully than if you have to set up an entire world and cast first. Longform fiction requires you to capture and keep your reader's attention for much longer, which means you'll have to employ soooome level of "manipulation" to keep them hooked that shortform wouldn't need.
Longform fiction, however, has the advantage of giving you space. You don't want your character's entire existence to be suffering? well, longform gives you time to balance the good with the bad. There are some jokes you really wanna do and aspects of your world and characters you really wanna explore, but they aren't anything that fits into a single compact, thoroughly themed story? Well, longform allows for detours that let you take a look at these things. (Though, these detours still need to be curated, interesting and ultimately serve a purpose. Losing a reader's attention can happen waaaay too quickly and once it happens, it's the death knell for your audience retention). However, long form fiction also has the problem that it gives you too much space. When it feels like you can include everything, you often want to include everything. That's an issue I've struggled with a lot in the past. Soon, you'll find yourself with 500 characters and no way to properly use all of them. a lot of their stories won't aid the themes and intentions of your story at all. You'll produce side plots and even "filler arcs" that fall by the wayside and are forgotten and before you know it you fall into the "Bleach" conundrum where it seems like your story has totally lost sight of what it was about and you can't fix it anymore, because you've added so much fat to your story that can't be cut anymore.
Above all else, however, longform fiction is a commitment. As soon as your story grows too big for you to even comprehend it yourself anymore, that's when you're in trouble. You need to remember what happened! You need to remember all your characters' motivations, which developments they've already gone through and which they haven't and who knows who. If you lose track of that, your story will fragment beyond repair and your readers won't find keeping up with it satisfying anymore. That, as well as shifting fandom interests are the most common causes of longfics turning into dead fics, or, in the professional world, series being cancelled or book series being abandoned.
Ultimately the most important thing is to know your limits. How big does your story need to be? How big can you afford it being before maintaining it consumes too much of your life to be feasible? These are questions you should always ask yourself before you decide whether to focus your attention on short form or long form fiction. Of course, short form and long form also lend themselves to extremely different story types, so in the end it will also come down to what you want to write and how to make it effective... It's all a manner of having a feel for your own writing style!
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay, i'm asking this as a disabled woman who has trouble leaving my house and spends most of my time at home. i hear ppl on radblr about how we shouldn't call ourselves radical feminists if we aren't actually out there helping women. they say that just doing things online such as raising awareness isn't really feminist. so my question is, how is somebody like me supposed to contribute to radical feminism in a meaningful way?
Hi nonnie, this is not a blog where I the admin respond to questions or post questions at all unless they regard the blog itself. This question though compelled me to tell you there are many disabled radical feminists on radblr, who I'm sure can reassure you that there's many ways to be a feminist and do feminist actions that don't require you to be outside protesting or things like that. You can donate to female organizations, consume and support female media and literature, you could join or start a female only club of some sort that you would only have to attend occasionally and that could be easier on you to partake in. There's lots of things!
If any other radfems, especially any with disabilities, want to chime in for this person, please be my guest.
#but again a reminder I really will ignore random questions this is not the blog to ask I'm afraid it defeats the theme#there are lots of wonderful radfems who would be happy to answer#this isn't necessarily a radfem anonymous ask account and if I give my opinions out freely it just turns into a second radfem blog#and the goal is that this blog stays quite simple as a positive confessions blog so everyone feels its a safe space#but you're definitely not restricted in what you can do for feminism anon! -bee
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
10th day - "skyscraper"/11th "DragonSlay" (scene 1)
――I can't leave Saber alone.
Rider is gone, and the book that holds Shinji's Command Spells has burned.
Shinji doesn't have a Servant anymore, and he has lost his Command Spells as well.
I can call the match settled.
So the priority right now is Saber…!
"Saber…!"
I run to her.
The golden sword isn't in her hands anymore.
It has disappeared and only Saber herself remains, but――
"Huh…?"
Saber doesn't look well at all.
She has sweat on her brow, and her breathing is weak yet irregular as if she has a fever.
"…No way. Hey Saber――what's wrong?"
I call out to her timidly, but she doesn't answer.
…She's unconscious.
"――Sa… ber…?"
I touch her forehead.
"Ow…!"
I automatically pull my hand back.
I-It's unusually hot.
If this is a fever, she's over forty degrees…!
"Saber! Hey, are you all right…!?"
Even when I call out to her, her only reply is heavy breathing.
"―――!"
I don't know what the hell's going on.
I don't know, but I'm sure we can't just stay here like this.
"I'm going to take you home…! If you want to object, do it later…!"
I pick Saber up.
…She's light.
She was light before, but she's lighter now.
No, more than that, she's…
"…She's warm. She's alive."
Saber is still Saber.
I'm angry at myself for hesitating.
…Damn it, so what if she's a hero?
No matter who Saber is, she's here right now and she's warm.
How stupid of me to think there's a wall between us in spite of that.
"――I'm going home right away. Stay still until then, Saber…!"
I run, still holding Saber in my arms.
There's no feeling of victory.
All I feel is Saber in my arms, breathing painfully.
"I'm done.
I let her sleep in the Japanese-style room, but I don't think she'll wake up any time soon."
"…Sorry, you really helped me out.
There's nothing I could have done to treat Saber."
"…Well, I just removed her armor and helped her relax, so you don't need to thank me. Saber won't get well, and I haven't done anything."
…But still, having Tohsaka around helped.
She was the one that yelled at me when I came home in a panic about what to do.
She worked out Saber's situation and advised me to take her armor off and let her sleep.
It's been an hour since then.
Somehow communicating with the unconscious Saber, Tohsaka took her armor off.
"So, what happened?
I thought you went out looking for Shinji, and Saber was like that. I can tell that something happened, but can you explain the details?"
"――"
I hesitate.
…Saber's Noble Phantasm.
I should avoid revealing her true name.
It's not something I can reveal by my judgment alone…
"…Rider was defeated. Shinji retired, losing his Command Spell. But Saber used her Noble Phantasm and collapsed after using it."
"…Hmm. Saber's Noble Phantasm, huh…?"
Tohsaka falls into a meaningful silence.
She's Tohsaka, so she should be able to tell that it was no ordinary matter.
"Well, I won't ask you for details. You guys are in no condition for that sort of a thing."
"…? What do you mean we're in no condition?"
"It's just like I said. …You should know vaguely by now that Saber will disappear like this."
"What――?"
Calmly.
Tohsaka mentions the result I have avoided thinking about.
"…Disappear… you mean, Saber will disappear?"
"Of course. Saber's magical energy is almost empty. I don't know what kind of a Noble Phantasm Saber used, but it must have consumed a lot of magical energy.
Saber has used up most of the magical energy in her.[l]
She's in pain because she's trying to keep herself from disappearing."
"She's going to disappear because she doesn't have magical energy…? Are you saying she's going to disappear even though she wasn't injured?"
"Yes. Depletion of magical energy is a more serious problem than external damage for a Servant.
It's the magical energy that gives the spiritual Servants form. She will just disappear if it runs out."
"…Well, Masters transmit their magical energy to their Servant so that doesn't happen, but you can't do that, right?
So Saber has to fight using her own magical energy. It's over once that runs out. I told you this right at the beginning."
――That's…
…Certainly what Saber told me.
"――But she was fine until now. Saber said she'll be all right if she slept――"
"That was because Saber's magical energy capacity was extraordinary.
…Yeah, Saber certainly has some magical energy left in her.
I think she should be able to recover enough magical energy to preserve herself."
"But that's it. Saber will end up fighting in the situation she's in right now.
It would be absurd to use the Noble Phantasm that put her in this state to begin with. Saber will definitely disappear if she uses it again."
"…She'll disappear if she uses her Noble Phantasm again…"
No, first of all, I can't let her fight in this state.
I don't want to see her slumped over in pain again.
"Do you understand now? There are only two ways to heal a Servant who ran out of magical energy.
To have the Master replenish the magical energy, or to have the Servant collect magical energy herself."
…To have a Servant collect magical energy herself.
…That would mean killing innocent people like Rider did.
"…That's impossible. Saber won't do that. She said herself that she wouldn't do such a thing."
"I would think so. Saber would probably choose to disappear if she had to sacrifice innocent people.
So there's only one other possibility. If you don't want Saber to disappear, you'll have to offer her your magical energy."
"That's――something I would have done already if I could.
But I don't know any way to give Saber magical energy. Unfortunately, I can't do everything like you can."
"…Of course. We wouldn't make it even if I taught you how to share magical energy. It would take you about a year to learn since you're not suitable as a magus, and you wouldn't be able to use it even if you learned it.
…Well, a path should have been connected at the summoning, so there might be other measures――"
Tohsaka ponders.
But it's only for a moment.
Tohsaka looks at me with an expression suppressing her emotions.
"Look. If you want to save Saber, all you can do is to make her attack people and absorb their souls.
I think you already know this."
"―――――"
That's the most realistic measure.
But that means――
"Saber will of course object to it.
But if you let things be, Saber will disappear and you will be targeted by the other Masters."
"―――――"
Saber will disappear…?
I can't even imagine such a thing.
I still feel her body heat in my hands which were carrying her.
"Then there's only one answer.
――Use your Command Spell, Emiya-kun. You should be able to avoid the worst case scenario with that."
That means…
…Ordering Saber to kill innocent people.
"―――――"
I can't say anything.
I resent what Tohsaka is saying, but at the same time, another part of me recognizes that this is the only solution.
"I'll let you decide. Saber will calm down if she sleeps, but her limit is still near.
If you're going to make a decision, make one by the next time we get attacked."
Tohsaka leaves the living room.
…I can't even look up… I can only listen to Tohsaka's departing footsteps.
Arturia.
The girl who had just finished her rite of passage would be known by that name from that day on.
It was a time of chaos and war.
It began with the demise of an empire.
An empire believed to be indestructible was only awaiting its destruction at the hands of invading barbarians.
To prepare for the war against these barbarians, the empire deprived this island country of any military forces.
That was the beginning.
Once her country lost the empire's protection, it could not escape becoming independent and it broke into smaller countries in no time.
The barbarian invasions.
Self-destructive strife between clans.
A long period of war, that would later be called "the Dark Ages".
She was born into this period as the heir to the throne.
It was a long period of chaos.
The king believed the magus's prophecy and yearned for the birth of his appointed successor.
But the child that was born was not the one the king desired.
The child was not a boy.
Even if the child was fated to become a king, he could not make a child that was not a boy his successor.
The girl was entrusted to the king's vassals and was raised as a child of a mere knight.
The king fell into despair, but the magus was delighted.
The sex of the one who would become king had never mattered.
He was confident that the fact of the girl being separated from the castle until the day of the prophecy was proof that she would become king.
The girl grew up as the successor under the simple and wise old knight.
The old knight did not really believe the magus's prophecy.
He just felt the same air from the girl as he did from his king, so he felt that he must raise her as a knight, and he wished her to grow.
But the knight did not even have to wish for such a thing, as the girl trained day after day to become stronger than anyone.
If only a king can save a ruined country headed for death…
The girl swore to bear a sword for that reason alone, without ever being told so.
So, the day of the prophecy arrived.
Knights and lords from around the country gathered to be selected as the king.
Every one of them expected the selection to be through jousting if the most superior one was to become a king.
But the only thing prepared at the place of selection was a naked sword stuck in a stone.
On the hilt of the sword was a golden inscription.
"Whosoe'er pulleth out this sword of this stone is rightwise King born of England―――"
Many knights grabbed the sword, following that command.
But no one was able to pull the sword out, and the knights began the expected method of selection by jousting.
As the girl was only an apprentice, she was not qualified to joust.
The girl neared the deserted stone of selection and reached out for the sword without hesitation.
"No, no. You should think things through before you take that."
When she turned around, before her was the most feared magus in the country.
The magus said…
That she would no longer be human once she took ahold of the sword.
The girl only responded with a nod.
Becoming a king means no longer being human.
She was prepared for that ever since she was born.
In short, a king is someone who kills everyone to protect everyone.
The young girl thought about it every night and shuddered until morning came.
No day passed that she did not fear that fact.
But the girl said that it would end this day.
The sword was pulled out as if it were only natural to do so, and the place was filled with light.
―――In that instant, she became something not human.
The king's gender does not matter.
No one will care about the king's appearance or even notice it if the king acts like a king.
Even if anybody noticed that the king was female, there would be no problem if she was a good king.
Perhaps because of the sword's magic, the girl's growth stopped at that time as well.
Many knights feared it as ominous, but most of them praised their master's immortality as divine.
―――And thus.
The time of the king who would become a legend started.
The battles of the new king were indeed the acts of a god of war.
The king always led from the front.
No enemies could stand in her way.
Arturia, the god of war.
There was no defeat for a body admired as a dragon in human form.
For ten years and twelve battles, she knew only victory.
Those were the days she ran through as the king.
She never turned back and was never disgraced.
She was raised as the king and fulfilled her obligations as the king.
Is that why I saw such a figure?
Her soul must still be on the battlefield.
Before daybreak.
Resting her body in the wind under the indigo blue sky, she just gazes into the distance.
The sky is high, and the clouds are flowing fast.
Under the clear air, she is looking at the great army she must face with her sword in hand.
―――That figure is burned in and will not go away.
She and her sword are one.
The sword from the stone that chose the king.
I think the brilliance of the sword that selected her fate is also her brilliance.
But I wonder in the dream.
That sword is different from the one she had.
It is similar, but different.
The one she used last night is different from this sword.
…So.
How did she lose such a fine sword…?
When I wake up, I'm in my room.
It's light outside.
I guess I fell asleep after coming back to my room, unable to make a decision.
"…That… dream…"
It was a strange dream.
Events I shouldn't know about, things I don't know about Saber.
Is it possible for me to dream about them?
"…But that sword was certainly different from the one Saber had…."
I vaguely think.
Saber's true identity that was hidden.
…To be honest, I still can't accept who she is.
Saber is just Saber.
I can't change my attitude just because I know who she was before, and I don't think Saber would want that either.
"…But it suited her."
The sword from yesterday suited her, but the sword in my dream also suited her.
No, you could say I was fascinated.
With yesterday's sword and the sword in my dream… it seems I fall for swords easily.
I also thought Lancer's lance was beautiful when I saw it, but my interest in swords is exceptional.
It seems Emiya Shirou is easily attracted to swords.
"Well… it's not like that only just started."
I take a deep breath and reach up to my sweaty face.
"…But it sure is hot."
I wipe the sweat off my forehead.
Even though it's winter, my body is burning.
It feels like my blood is getting hotter, and I feel restless.
"…I wonder why… ever since I saw Saber's sword…"
…My body has been strangely hot.
The hand that bears the Command Spell is hot as if it's holding a pocket heater.
"…It's like that time Tohsaka made me swallow that jewel… like it's itchy, or it makes me want to run around."
I take a deep breath to try to calm myself.
"…I guess Saber's still asleep…"
Saber has not woken up even once since last night.
But it still seems she's getting better.
Her breathing is calm now and there's no sign she is gasping in pain.
Saber is sleeping peacefully.
This is an everyday morning scene.
"―――Maybe if…"
If I let her sleep like this, she might get back to normal.
Then there'll be no need to have her kill people.
Then, just like now, Saber will be with me and――
"――How selfish of me――!"
I hit the wall.
I'm so weak it makes me sick.
"――It's my fault Saber's in this state.
Who am I to say――"
…I get up, trying not to make a sound.
I don't know when Saber will wake up.
But I have to make a decision before she does.
Tohsaka must still be asleep.
There's no energy in the house, and it feels like it's abandoned.
No, I'm just depressed.
I can't decide, so I'm wandering around in a gray state, and that causes the world to be vague.
"…?"
I hear something cut through the air.
"Again… it's from the yard, but that――
I remember that sound.
…Yeah.
I don't feel like cooking breakfast right now, so I'll take a walk and check it out.
It's much colder than usual outside.
It must be really cold if my burning body feels it.
It's so cold that it might snow.
"…It's from the shed area."
The sound is coming periodically.
I cross the yard, breathing out white puffs.
He's there in front of the shed.
…I guess I kind of knew he would be here, so I wasn't surprised.
He must have been shooting arrows until now.
He lowers his bow in displeasure as soon as he sees me.
"That's dangerous. Don't shoot bows in someone else's house. What are you going to do if you hit someone?"
"I would not have to do anything as I am not using any arrows. One cannot be hit by something that is not fired."
"……"
He doesn't need to tell me that.
The sound was Archer's bow string cutting through the air.
I don't know why, but Archer isn't using any arrows, but only pulling his bow.
"…That's a good bow. I wasn't convinced until now, but you really are an Archer."
"Well. I'm not an archer like the ones you know, so I would not be able to answer you even if you asked me about archery.
Your arrows are shot to target yourself, while my arrows are shot to hit an enemy. The archer you have in mind must be the kind that respects manners and politeness."
He curls his lips offensively.
As I thought, I can't get along with him.
"I don't intend to ask you about archery.
I was just wondering what you were doing."
"As you can see, I am merely checking my condition.
The wound Saber gave me has healed. I cannot stay on watch forever."
"――――"
…I see.
He's healed now. Then that means Tohsaka should return to the war.
I turn away.
Since Tohsaka and Archer are rejoining the battle, I must make a decision.
I have to think seriously somewhere I can be alone.
"―――There is a concept called 'follow-through'."
"Huh?"
"The time you have after you take your shot.
I believe that is the only thing common to your archery and mine."
"…What? You don't have to tell me about the eight stages of shooting."
"Just listen. They say the body stays there naturally after you shoot a bow. I heard that you call it follow-through."
"……"
Certainly, there are eight movements in archery called the eight stages of shooting.
The last one, the follow through, is the state that comes after shooting an arrow, but――
"…Yeah. So what about it?"
"I am talking about your mental preparation. Follow through is not intended to ascertain if the arrow has hit the target.
An arrow has hit the target even before it is released. The archer lets the arrow go according to that image.
So there is no need to check if the arrow has hit or not.
Because if you think the arrow will hit, it will hit the target, and if you do not, the arrow will not hit."
"――That's not true. There are shots that won't hit no matter how much you think they will. Everyone would hit the target every time if all you have to do is to think about hitting it."
"Is that so? Well, you hit the target every time."
"What――"
His statement makes my heart jump.
That's certainly――
"Well, I do not care about that. There is only one thing I want to tell you. Follow through is not intended to ascertain if you have hit the target or not. What happens to the released arrow is obvious.
So follow through is a preparation to accept that result, is it not?"
"――I know. So you're saying I should be able to see through this thing until the end, right?"
"Exactly. I heard about Saber's situation. You should have known from the beginning that she would end up like this. She will disappear in time if she fights without a magical energy supply.
That fact was already determined. So――"
…All that's left is to accept the result.
Is he saying that no matter what happens to Saber because of my decisions, all I can do is see through what happens?
"―――――"
I turn my back to Archer.
I will leave this guy once and for all.
"…Oh, and one more thing. I will tell you since you don't seem to know."
I hear a voice behind me.
"Saber should have known she would disappear if she used her Noble Phantasm. She probably did not intend to use her Noble Phantasm until the very end."
The usual offensive tone isn't present in his voice.
"There is only one reason she used her Noble Phantasm in spite of that.
She chose to protect you over her own existence.
Never forget that."
His voice holds only honest sincerity.
The park is empty as usual.
Maybe it helps that it's colder today than usual.
There is no one around and it looks like I'm the only one out at this time.
"―――――"
I sit on the bench sluggishly.
I came to a deserted place as I wished to.
Now that I'm here, I must decide what to do.
There are no choices that allow me to postpone the problem.
If I am to end the Holy Grail War by defeating other Masters, I need Saber to stay.
No, even without that, I don't want her to disappear.
But that means…
Having Saber attack people, like Rider did.
"――!"
There's no way I can do that.
Making Saber do such a thing would be like telling her to die.
First of all, Saber would surely refuse.
――But.
When I hang my head, I see my left hand.
I have two Command Spells left.
If I use one, I can force Saber to follow my command.
"―――――"
I bite my lip and discard the ridiculous thought.
I don't know how long I remained slumped on this bench.
But just as my fingers start to tremble from the cold…
"Oh!
I thought you were gone already, but you're here!"
I'm suddenly called.
"Aha, it is you. Hello, Shirou. You have a serious expression. What's wrong?"
"Ilya…? You're here by yourself again?"
It's dangerous, you never know when the other Masters――"
As I start to say that, I'm amazed at my stupidity.
Ilya is a Master too.
I shouldn't be worrying about this, and anyway, aren't we enemies?
"…Sorry. I can't afford to talk to you right now. We were lucky to see each other, but I can't talk with you. It's going to get cold today, so you should go home."
Sitting down on the bench, I dismiss Ilya.
…There are things I need to talk to her about, but I have my hands full with Saber right now.
"―――――"
…?
What's going on?
Ilya doesn't say anything and she just stares at me as if I'm a stranger.
"…Ilya…?
No, I'm not trying to be mean to you. I'm really busy right now, and――"
"I know. Saber's going to disappear, right?
And you're wondering what to do."
Suddenly.
The girl in front of me says this coldly as if she is someone else.
"Ilya…?"
"It's stupid to worry about such things. That's why you let Rider's Master escape. All you have to do with the loser is to kill them."
I move my legs.
I know it's bad to stay sitting down, so I put my power in them to stand up.
――But.
My body does not move as if entranced by Ilya.
"Ilya, how――do you know about that?"
"I don't even need to tell you, right? I was at that building last night too.
Well, I could only watch from inside the building."
"――!"
I try to move my arms and legs, but they won't move at all.
No, it feels like they're stiffening the more I put power into them.
――It's those eyes.
Looking into Ilya's red eyes is making my body go numb and――
"Oh, you're bound already?
You know you don't have any protection, right? I thought it would be easy to capture you if you're alone, but you're so cute falling for it this easily."
"Ilya, yo… u――"
"It's useless, Onii-chan. You won't be able to move now.
You won't even be able to speak soon, but you don't need to worry.
――I didn't come here today to talk either.
Murderous intent mixes into Ilya's gaze.
This is the same Ilya as that night, when she was the Master of Berserker.
"Guh…! Are you going to kill me here…!?"
Gritting my teeth, I gather all my strength.
But I can't even twitch my fingers.
Every nerve in my body is wrapped by Ilya's stare.
"Yup. Because it doesn't matter if you're a Master anymore, right? You'll be on your own once Saber disappears, so I can't let you be a Master.
Once your means of fighting is gone, I can kill you easily."
Ilya raises her hand.
Her white slender fingers touch my chest.
"I'm glad I found you before anyone else killed you.
So, good night, Onii-chan. Saber's going to disappear anyway, so it should be a relief if it happens faster, right?"
My vision fades.
Sensation in my limbs is already gone, and now my vision is gone as well.
…How long has it been since I fell into this darkness?
While I wonder whether or not I'm dead, my consciousness fades away.
…My body is burning.
Even though my consciousness is deep in the darkness, my burning body is appealing that it is alive.
――I see. I guess I'm alive, then.
But even if that's the case, that's only for the moment.
Ilya said it too.
――Once your means of fighting is gone, I can kill you easily――
…She's right.
I can't fight at all without Saber.
The Holy Grail War is a battle between Servants.
I cannot possibly match one of those Servants.
That fact has been proven many times already.
It was a merciless beating.
As Saber said, my battle against a Servant is to survive.
I couldn't even do that.
I was cut all over my body, and on top of that, thrown to the ground from a third floor window.
I only survived because of an abnormality in my body that I don't even understand.
That fact is so vexing that it makes me mad.
I could not stop the disaster occurring around me just because the one in front of me was unbeatable.
Even though I chose to fight,
I chose to fight as a Master to stop people getting hurt, but I could not protect them.
――It pisses me off.
The superhero I've admired since childhood always has to win or it's meaningless.
…My body is burning.
My whole body is demanding that I must win.
But I don't have any means of winning nor a way to fight.
How would I be able to fight?
I don't have the skills to fight alongside Saber without being a burden to her.
――That is a mistake as well. Emiya Shirou is not fit for fighting.
Because your fight is supposed to be a mental fight,
A fight with your own self――
Suddenly.
I remember the back of the man who said those words.
――Emiya Shirou has no chance of winning if it comes down to fighting.
None of your skills
Will be of any use against a Servant――
I know.
I realize that more than ever now.
――In that case, at least imagine it.
If it is an opponent you cannot match in real life, beat it in your imagination.
If you cannot beat it yourself, imagine something that you could beat it with.
…He doesn't need to tell me something I already know.
If I am going to win, it'll only be in my head.
But what could I win with?
I can't imagine myself beating a Servant.
I can't handily deceive myself, and an image created by deceiving myself will be full of flaws.
There's no way I would be able to match a Servant, a first-class illusion, with such a third rate image.
――So.
What will I be able to beat?
And what will I beat it with?
I am searching for the answer to that question――
――searching for the answer even now.
A golden sword.
It's a sword for her alone.
I don't want it myself.
It's just beautiful.
I just want to hold it in my hands, if it's permitted.
…Geez, it's a bad habit for an amateur magus.
Since all I can do is examine the contents, I see such dreams unsuitable for my position.
But――if this is a dream, I should be allowed to at least think about it.
First, I assume the basic structure and reproduce the composing material.
…Oh, the basic form from when I use the strengthening magic isn't enough as I thought.
Strengthening is changing something that's already there, so it's meaningless with something that isn't there at all.
So if I am to remember that sword, I have to put more effort into it.
――It's well before the basics.
It's the process full of waste that I came up with before Kiritsugu taught me how to use the strengthening magic.
Um, it was――how was it supposed to take shape…?
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………When I come to, I'm in a ridiculous place.
"――What is this place――?"
This isn't just some place I've never seen before.
It has a bed with a gorgeous canopy, and a long carpet that makes it look like you could sink to your ankles.
A stone fireplace that is not just decorative, but actually functional.
The patterns on the wall aren't just wallpaper as they are actually engraved.
I'm used to mansions like Shinji's house, but this is on a different level.
…It's embarrassing to say, but this is like a castle you'd read about in fairy tales.
"…!"
My mind almost falls unconscious.
My body is strangely heavy.
Is my blood circulating poorly? I feel like I'll fall asleep again if I let my guard down.
"――Umm… What happened?"
I try to remember with my hazy mind.
I… oh yeah, I was bound by Ilya and lost consciousness.
"…So I'm caught by Ilya, huh?"
No one is in the room.
My body feels heavy, but it seems I could at least raise my arm――
"Whoa, I'm tied up――!?"
My dazed mind instantly awakens.
Realizing the danger I'm in, I study my situation first.
"…I'm sitting in a chair and my hands are behind my back… handcuffs… no, they're just tied with rope."
I'm not in the worst condition, but it makes no difference to the fact that I cannot move.
My body is still numb, and I can't even get up with my hands tied.
"…How long has it been…? Clock… no, I don't see one as I expected."
There is no clock in the room.
The window is… behind me.
I turn around as much as I can, but the curtain is draped over it and I can't quite tell what's outside.
But the sun has already set outside.
I met Ilya in the morning, so that means at least half a day has passed.
"……"
I can't be doing this now.
I don't know where I am, but I have to go home to Saber as quickly as I can.
…Saber is weakening.
I can't trouble her by letting her know I've been kidnapped.
"Mn――!"
I pull at my hands.
Even if I am to run away, I have to do something about the rope tied behind my back first――
"…!?"
The door opens.
I release my power at the same moment as she walks in.
"Oh, you're finally awake! Good morning, Onii-chan. How are you feeling?"
Ilya is acting totally different from before.
Her cold eyes are gone and the Ilya before me is the white girl who was talking to me in that park the other day.
"Hm? What's wrong? You don't seem energetic. Does your body still not move? …That's odd, you should be able to talk by now."
She looks at me, tilting her head.
…It looks like she's just worried about me.
"…I'm fine. I can talk and my head's clear enough to know that I've been captured."
I glare at Ilya.
"What, are you dissatisfied? We usually put our captured enemies in the dungeon.
But I felt bad about doing that to you, so I brought you into my room as a special exception."
Ilya looks displeased.
I don't know if I should be thankful or not.
…But anyway, I'm starting to understand the situation I'm in.
"…I get the situation. I'm captured and this is your place, right?"
I say so sharply, killing my emotions.
As long as I don't know the full details of the situation, I should listen for now.
"That's right. I told you before that I live in a castle in the forest.
"This is a castle in a big forest, and there's nothing around here. It takes a few hours by car to get to the town you live in. Nobody will come to save you, nor will there be any nuisances."
"――I see.
I get that, but why did you do it?
If you wanted to kill me, you could have done so at the park."
"Why? I don't intend to kill you, Shirou. You're mine. I'll kill the other Masters, but you're special.
That's why I locked you up here, so there won't be any interruptions."
"――!"
I automatically lean back.
Ilya puts her face close to mine as if not caring about my feelings.
"H-Hey, Ilya…!"
I know it's indiscreet, but my heart's beating fast from the weight of Ilya on my legs.
Even though she's not heavy, she feels so alive that I can't think straight――
"Yeah, like I thought, Shirou is special.
…Hey, do you want to become my Servant? If you're going to be my Servant, I won't have to kill you. All you have to do is nod, and I can spare you."
She says so in a fawning voice.
This is nothing half-hearted.
Ilya's words are so pure that I won't be able to take it back if I nod.
…And if I do betray her, all her purity would probably turn into hatred.
With Ilya so close to me, my confused mind freezes.
This isn't just that she likes me.
Ilya's question is asking me if I want to live or die.
"You don't even need to think about it, right? You don't have Saber already. You don't have any way to fight.
So it'll be useless to stay as a Master now."
"――No. Saber hasn't disappeared yet. I won't let that happen."
"Oh yeah? But she'll be killed easily in her condition.
It's fine, you can just stay here. If you're going to stay here forever, I'll protect you forever too."
Ilya snuggles up to me.
I don't even have the freedom to push her away.
…I don't know what will happen if I disobey her.
But I still can't nod to Ilya's words.
"…I can't. Get off of me, Ilya. No matter what you say, I…"
Ilya puts her finger up to my mouth.
The girl smiles and looks up at my bewildered face.
"Geez, you don't get it, do you?
Look, you're just a bird in a cage right now. It's my decision if you live or not, so you shouldn't say anything to make me mad.
…I've waited for 10 years. It's too boring just to kill you here, right?"
"Wha――――?"
Her voice sounds like a girl who wants a toy.
I gasp, sensing a cruelty that sends a chill up my spine.
"This is your last chance, Onii-chan. I'll ask you one more time."
She looks up at me, full of hope.
"Shirou――be mine."
Ilya says so as if allowing no refusal.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm watching a review video by MisAnthroPony for old times' sake and the expectation for intentionally flawed fictional characters to always act in rational and optimal ways is fucking mind-boggling for real. The "why didn't Leon just shoot him here is he stupid" argument has plagued media analysis for far too long. Sure, I have my own massive shares of media hot takes, but the kinds of stories these people want to see where everyone does the most boring and reasonable thing without ever showing off or fucking up just seem inconceivable to me.
Yes, I tend to demand for a story to have a positive and meaningful message because I think that art instills ideas in people's heads so it's best for those ideas to inspire a better world than for art to just make people feel like shit for no reason. I admit that's an unpopular take among art critics, but the kind of critic that MisAnthroPony and a lot of the My Little Pony review/analysis community are is a different, stranger thing than I think I can ever be.
See, the kinds of critics that make up most of MLP review community basically just...don't want stories to have any kind of fun or flair to them? They emphasize a lot on lore consistency and internal logic and characters doing the most reasonable things in any given situation and it makes me wonder what they even want stories to be. Do they expect My Little Pony to be a fucking informative documentary on the history and ecology of a completely fictional fantasy world or something? Why the fuck would anyone want to see that?
I'm serious. Like, can someone answer these questions please? What kind of story do these logic-obsessed critics want to see and why is it appealing to them? Why even consume art if logic and consistency is all you care about?
I will agree with MisAnthroPony on exactly one point though. Having a world-ending threat Sword of Damocles itself over the entire main cast's heads while they go do slice of life antics is really tonally weird. It's the same shit I didn't like about Goodbye Volcano High. A stopped clock is right twice a day after all.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you tell us more about your girlfriend? I remember a while ago you said how there is one person who is a better future for you than consuming the world
How did you two meet for example? Do you have any fun stories to share too?
(Unless those are too personal, in which case bonus question: what do you think about keeping items/parts of your prey around after theyve been used up?)
Ah, that would be Aife. She's a beautiful doe, stark white fur and taller than me even if you don't count her antlers. How we met is a funny story, and one I've been meaning to write for a while. I'll get around to it one day. But I can give you the quick version.
See, I'd been smitten with her since before we ever met in person, but that's nothing special. I'd seen her on tv, on the covers of magazines, that kind of thing. She's a celebrity, globe-trotting socialite, way out of my league, you know. Not someone I'd expect to ever meet. But I'd just been hired on at this museum, working security. And she came to a party commemorating a new exhibit. And I was awestruck. Pictures don't compare to the real thing. She really is all she's made out to be and more.
I didn't talk to her at the party, of course. No, I didn't actually meet her until later that night.
She still teases me about it, but I swear I could've taken her. I just got so shocked when I managed to unmask her. I mean, how was I supposed to react? I thought I was wrestling with some random thief, but it was her. And she only needed me stunned for a second to turn the tables.
I think she was flirting with me, even then. She tied me up where I had a perfect view of her while she worked. I watched her deftly disable layer after layer of security like it was nothing. And the way she smiled when she had her prize at last filled me with a longing of my own. I fell in love right then and there.
Anyway, I lost my job after that. Museum couldn't have anyone thinking their state of the art security system was fallible, and with my record it was easy to point the finger at me, say I may have been some kind of inside man. I might've gotten back in my boss's good graces if I told him the thief's true identity, but even if he believed me, why would I want to work for someone willing to throw me under the bus like that? I didn't owe these people shit. And even if I thought I'd never see Aife again, even though our only meaningful interaction had been hostile. . . It still would've felt like a betrayal to give her up.
It was about a week later when she got in touch. Guess she figured we could trust each other after that. She told me she could use some muscle for her next job. And it all just kinda . . . went from there?
To answer your bonus question, oh yeah, I do that ALL the time. Clothes, bones, and various accessories. I've got 'em organized, too. It's a whole system! I don't keep something from everyone I eat, that would be WAY too much. But I do keep something from most of my actual dates, or friends who become food. Especially if I'm asked to. A lot of morsels go down easier if they know I'll hold onto something to remember them by.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright I'm gonna go on a slightly petty sub4hibi rant that will probably only make sense to like 2 people here but has been sitting in my head for a while (if you haven't read it then. some spoilers ahead!)
posting here instead of twitter 'cause I know some friends and people that follow me there (but not here) that really like the ship I'm about to...definitely not hate on but maybe be a bit critical of and though I know perfectly well those in question can take criticism and the like perfectly fine nobody really wants to randomly have crit, or even just opinions they don't agree with of their faves thrown at them (so if any of you ever see this post in the future I promise that's the only reason why)
ANYWAY sca-di went on the usual art reblog and it made me think about how I'm a little bit bitter at the popularity of Takuji/Kimika. It's a ship I myself like, I think it's definitely interesting and I support it, but to put it plainly I mostly like it for its impact on Kimika's character more than anything else. Her ending and the way she talks to Takuji about her insecurities is great and it gives a lot of insight into her character, plus it's nice to see her sort of get brief bit of happiness in a bittersweet ending. However I still prefer Kimika/Zakuro by a LONG shot and it makes me sad that it doesn't get as much attention
I've gone on a bit about Kimika's relations to Takuji and especially Zakuro so I can see why it's more popular from a narrative perspective. Many of us love the grimdark shit because it's a hell of a lot more interesting and compared to happy sunshiney things, and well...EoS definitely ends on a much happier note than the main narrative does for Kimika. I love a good angsty narrative myself but what I like even better is a complex relationship between two women who have great chemistry together and BOY did this story deliver well on that. But anyway in general I would think most readers of this VN are chasing some of the more philosophical and dramatic components than a happy gay ending. Plus, by proxy of being Tomosane's brother Mamiya is relevant for the whole story, as opposed to poor Zakuro who loses relevance to the latter events fairly early in (most) routes. Why wouldn't a ship involving him get more attention?
And herein I touch upon a bit less hypothetical criticism and more my personal thoughts on the matter. I don't really have the authority to say anything on the matter between the differences between Western and Eastern fandom approaches to the VN but regardless...I see soooo much fanart of Kimika with Takuji and so little of her with Zakuro. It exists, but I could probably count the amount I've seen on one hand (and one of those was drawn for me by a friend!). And it makes me a little sad because I love them so much. Like I said, people aren't reading the story for the gay parts (and if they are, they're braver than any US marine tbh) but it saddens me that one might pass over this ship because they got a happy ending in a single route.
And like...not to be that guy but you can't always disconnect your biases from what you consume. In this case, I'm referring to what appears to be a VERY heterosexual Western fandom. Which is kind of funny to me, considering that the narrative engages in some very interesting choices that aren't tackled too often in m/f stories (but often enough in hentai and other media I suppose). Especially since the game literally starts and ends with homoeroticism if you go back to Down the Rabbit Hole 1 after you finish the game. Regardless, the narrative as a whole really shies away from making any of these yuri relationships lasting or being meaningful (aside from Yuki/Zakuro, arguably). None of them are connected to the main plot and Kimika/Zakuro has zero chance of happening in the canon endings. And then of course there's the constant casual stereotypes ("but we're both girls!" and Yuki's dad, though funnily enough I think it's kinda nice that nobody questioned his sexuality or where Yuki came from) and the constant use of the f slur. All of which may make those who are still sort of uncomfortable with gay content feel "soothed" in a way and still enjoy it. Not to say you can't be an ally and still love the gay ships in this VN but given the intensity of the subject matter, you've gotta have a mind and stomach made of STEEL to get through a good portion of it, ESPECIALLY if you're gay. And unless you're already into VNs and/or enjoy this kind of intense subject matter then it's probably hard as FUCK to get past IMOI.
ALL of this to say that I feel like a big part of the reason there's so little attention to the gay ships is that there's simply...no gay fandom. At least visibly. I was of course being facetious when I mentioned in my post the other day about the fandom being only me and 4 other gay people but I personally haven't seen a lot of discussion of the Gay elements from those who aren't part of the LGBTQ community. I'm sure it happens in places that aren't so public or easily accessible but aside from little pockets on twitter I'm under the impression that there's not a hell of a lot of us who talk about it openly. And it's not hard to see why; take a look at the reactions to this satirical post by @girlwhodeceivesfate! Some are more open than others but those top comments say something about those who bothered to open the post. And many seem annoyed that anyone could possibly have a queer focus.
This went off topic from the specifics very quickly but anyway...of course shipping isn't the main purpose of any of these narratives but I'll be real with y'all. Even though I liked the main story enough Kimika and her relationship with Zakuro were the things I liked most about this VN, so. Longwinded point is that I get why there's not a lot of content for them compared to the other ship but it still disappoints me.
it's past 5:30am and I need to simmer the fuck down so if anyone actually made it through this all the way to the end, well done! you've made it through my messy unedited sleepy ramblings
#it's shiny time#ship hate#like not actually but I don't want anyone to feel bad about their ships ya know
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
I was reading a thread about blonde and I saw someone say if they wanted to fictionalize her life, they could've made it empowering and changed the ending so she lived, like once upon a time in hollywood, but would that really be any better? why not make a fictional movie depicting these things at that point? why does Marilyn have to be the brutalized subject?
i mean, the director is blatantly obsessed with her death to the point where he said it's the whole purpose of the story and nothing else about her life matters, because he's a disgusting misogynistic ghoul (if you read any of the things he's said, his outlook on people who suffer addiction or die by su*cide is shockingly dehumanizing. which isn't even beginning to get into the fact that marilyn's death was most likely accidental and incorrectly ruled intentional by the coroner).
that said, would a version of her story where she lived be better? i don't know. it would be nice to live in the fantasy where that happened (and it has been done elsewhere, you mention sharon tate in ouatih, they did the same with john lennon in yesterday), it's dependent on how it's handled, i guess, and does raise the question of why not just tell a fictional story then? i have a family member who absolutely hates biopics and even historical fiction because he thinks it's unethical to embellish/fabricate/dramatize real people's lives, and we talked about this at length once. it gets tricky because no history or real life can ever be depicted in its entirety as a story, narratives have to be constructed to be interesting. and historical fiction is an ancient part of the form - i remember asking him how we reckon with shakespeare writing plays about real figures, for example - and there's not an easy conclusion. that said, what i do think matters is some measure of empathy and understanding for the subject so that a piece isn't blatant exploitation. blonde isn't problematic because it's fiction (my week with marilyn is fictional too, but at least she's treated like a person in it; smash fictionalized her a bit musically but was so special and meaningful to me), it's problematic because it's exploitative and traumatic for the sake of debasement.
the answer here being, of course, because it's more buzzworthy to exploit the real person and hideously fictionally degrade and abuse her, and draws more attention, than a fictional starlet would. marilyn is still incandescent and instantly recognizable and consumable as a tragedy. her rights are owned by an ad agency who only cares about making money off her image - hence countless products with fake quotes printed on them (and i admittedly have some mm things) - so they don't care how she's depicted so long as she gets a check, and the graphic fictionalized account of her life is only dollar signs to them.
marilyn exists in a particular section of pop culture that is very difficult to confront. her contemporaries would never be treated in this way, even though many of them had very sad stories of hardship too, or experienced abuse themselves. we're not seeing this done to audrey hepburn or grace kelly or rita hayworth or elizabeth taylor or vivien leigh or natalie wood (the list of talented, unforgettable and beautiful women from that time goes on and is long). even when any of those women have had biopics made about them, there's a very different intent. (ie: nicole kidman portrayed grace kelly and lucille ball in recent years to mixed reviews, and i don't agree with sorkin on the latter at all, but at least it wasn't exploitative. renee zellweger won an oscar for playing judy garland, michelle williams played marilyn and then played gwen verdon to moving effect). but marilyn is so ingrained in the public consciousness as a pinup and sex object that she gets reduced to it far more easily, as if that should just be the expectation for her. i remember there was a thing in the 2000s (which was just not a great time in discussions of women), where there was this idea that "trashy" girls liked marilyn and "classy" girls liked audrey, and you should always aim to be an audrey. (i love audrey too, this is not her fault.) and it was only looking at them as flat images to pit them against each other. hair color, body types, class backgrounds, these were seen as morally based differences rather than any appreciation of either actual woman. pop culture has been obsessed with this madonna/whore mentality when it comes to marilyn - she was poor, her mother was mentally ill, her father abandoned her, she didn't get a formal education, she modeled and (gasp) did a shoot nude when she needed money to survive, so doesn't that make her a commodity, a body we're allowed access to? forget that she pushed back against that very idea when she was living. the way her varying hardships are viewed as entertainment fodder has always been gross, even though she was far from alone in having those difficulties. (the world lost judy only seven years after marilyn, in a not dissimilar way). when marilyn said she was constantly running into people's subconscious, it's still true. so much has been projected onto her that frankly any telling of her story says more about the creator than it does about her. there's a mystique because she's seen as a creation/invention, painted over norma jeane, there's an ease to reducing her to a baby doll voice or to fragility or to desperation for affection. there's an oddly derisive air around her talent, the blame for which is the remains of the studio system that wouldn't take her seriously. there's an obsession with her lateness and her substance abuse and her medical care that erases context for how those things transpired. she's like a mirror reflecting whatever is desired, rather than a human subject. they're taking her personhood and soul away from her to render her this defiled, diaphonous thing.
besides the quotes i put in the other post, her pleading to not be made into a joke, i've been thinking about this a lot too - "hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents."
14 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
kmrsoftwareservices-blog
Untitled
longstrokes17
Ivanna Montoya 🇮🇹
courtneyxxchaos-blog
Over The Rainbow
aph-nyo-icelands-google-his-blog
Green Island (Fem!Iceland)