#they don’t really have personality’s cause I keep changing them every 5 days but we will see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

polyamorouspunk · 11 months

Text

The first time I ever heard the phrase “pick your battles” was when I was about 12 years old in eight grade. The grade above us was filled with kids who drank and smoked and did drugs and the grade below us was filled with kids having sex in public bathrooms and somehow we were stuck in the middle, reaping the restrictions put on us for crimes we didn’t commit. One of these being that we were not allowed any personal bags in our wing.

Now, if you’re like me, you carry a *lot* of shit. I mean, there’s textbooks, reading books, food, water, phone, pens and pencils, an eraser that actually works, FeMiNiNe hYgIeNe pRoDuCtS, and idk? Random other shit? Too much to reasonably carry from class to class in your arms and pockets.

So my friends and I wore bags. Purses, if you will, though I hated that term because it was a bit too girly for me, and my “purses” came from the military surplus store. In fact, I still have the last one I got from there. Regardless, my point being that we wore personal bags to carry our shit in.

Except that wasn’t allowed because kids *before* us would sneak their alcohol and shit with them in bags.

Now, nowhere in the handbook did it say we weren’t allowed to have bags- trust me, we checked. Our parents helped us take up the cause- us being me and my 2 friends. But our teachers collectively decided we were not allowed to have them in our wing, they had to stay in our lockers. And so we asked: how them are we to transport them outside of our wing if our lockers are in said wing. If we can’t have them in the hallway how can we have them outside the hallway if we have to store them in the lockers in this hallway.

One day my teacher who had a soft spot for us pulled me aside. He told me he knew that I was on a campaign against this, but that sometimes we need to pick our battles. I had never heard of this phrase, so I sat on it for about .5 seconds before saying “then I’m going to pick this battle and continue fighting it.”

I understand now what he means though. We can’t change everything that we want to. There are so many causes out there, so many things that we should be aware of. But we’ll burn ourselves out trying to take them all on ourselves. It’s been said before to pick a few causes you really feel passionate about and focus on those because you can do more for change when you aren’t stretched out thin.

Beyond that, though, I think we need to pick and choose our battles because realistically there are not just things we can win, and at the end of the day some things *are* more important than others.

We live in a surveillance state. That’s clear in a lot of countries, including the US, but that’s clear on a global level. While this sucks, at least here in the US, it really seems like not enough people care to fight it. Hell, people are actively bringing surveillance devices into their homes in the name of convenience. Realistically, overturning our surveillance state doesn’t seem likely. While it’s a battle that’s noble to fight, it’s probably in vain.

But think about when Roe v Wade was overturned. How much outrage it caused. How much outrage it’s still causing. Enough people are fighting that there is hope to rectify it, I think. And when it comes down to it, if you have to pick a battle to “not be surveilled” or to “legalize life-saving medical treatment (again)” one of those seems a lot more pressing and important than the other.

It’s okay to personally put causes on the back burner. It’s okay to not reblog every single “awareness” or “woke” post you see. You’re not obligated to fight every fight. Even just reblogged activism post after activism post can be draining. It’s okay to take a step back, take a break. Don’t forget about these struggles. Keep them in the back of your mind. Maybe go back and reblog them later. But don’t burn yourself out fighting too many battles, especially if they’re losing one. Focus on a few, solid, tangible changes you can make: being kind to strangers; donating goods, services, and money; volunteering; teaching children; etc. and if you have the energy go above and beyond that. You can make a difference just by being kind. You don’t have to fix every single problem. But together we can fix a few at a time.

#long post #tl;dr there are some issues that the majority doesn’t care about enough to make real change and a few people won’t cut it #focus on what’s most important both to you and overall #it’s okay if you aren’t blowing up police buildings you can just be kind and that’s enough #personal

267 notes · View notes

minniesmelody · 2 years

Text

There’s a man with no life in his eyes

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Gareth Emerson x Fem! Horror lover!Reader

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you and you’re boyfriend Gareth have a movie date at the theater to see Friday the 13th part 5

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: mentions of gore, a few cuss words, mentions of nudity, slight Bisexual hints, mentions reader’s gay awakening

𝗣𝗢𝗩: first person- Y/n

ꕥꕥꕥ

𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝟮𝟳𝘁𝗵 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟱, 𝟳:𝟰𝟱 𝗽𝗺

“231, 232, 233, 23- ah ha, 234 and 235 my lady” Gareth said as he found our seats.

The both of us currently at the cinema that was built inside the star court mall, both excited to see the newest Friday the 13th film that released a few days ago.

Funny thing is, before me and Gareth got together, he never put on Horror films when we would hang out or have movie nights cause he took me as a “normal” girl, and most girls are scared of films like that and don’t wanna watch them. Not me though.

I’ll never forget Gareth’s face when I told him I loved horror movies, that it was my favorite genre of movies and I loved the Friday films.

After that we started seeing all the newest and best horror movies that released together.

As usual, another year in the 80s passed by meaning another Friday the 13th was coming out. Technically it wasn’t supposed keep going and last years Friday the 13th was supposed to be the final installment of the franchise, which I’m glad they have decided to keep it going.

𝟴:𝟮𝟬 𝗽𝗺

“So I’m here to help. You can count on me, Rob. You too, Vi. Want a chocolate bar? I’ll give you half, but I need half for later”

“Piss off”

Damn. She’s hot.

“You like that girl?” Gareth whispered to me, trying not to be loud in the theater.

“Huh?”

“Babe, I see you staring at that Violet girl every time she pops up on the screen”

I just shake my head playfully and look back at the screen.

𝟴:𝟯𝟬 𝗽𝗺

“It’s showtime!”

I quickly take my hand and cover Gareth eyes. The blonde haired diner waitress flashing her tits on screen as she starts changing out of her works clothes.

The shot quickly changing and I uncovered his eyes.

“Was that really necessary?”

“Yes, yes it was”

𝟴:𝟰𝟱 𝗽𝗺

I didn’t even cover his eyes this time, too shocked myself of what’s happening in front of me.

Did a porn star or porn director do this film? So much nudity, more than usual.

Two of the characters, on a blanket, in the woods, fucking. And it’s showing it.

“Hey can we do that the next time we go out to the woods?” Gareth asked with a smirk on his face.

I playfully hit his arm and rolled my eyes.

𝟵:𝟬𝟯 𝗽𝗺

There she is again, this time swaying her hips to the music that played in her room.

“Can it wait?” She said, continuing to sway her hips.

“You know I don’t blame you, she does remind me slight of you a bit” Gareth said quietly to me.

“Me? How?” I asked

He just shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink.

𝟵:𝟬𝟱 𝗽𝗺

I wasn’t even looking at the screen, I was just glaring my eyes at Gareth as I watched him.

Another pair of titties on the screen.

He slowly turned his towards me, a smirk slowly rising on his lips.

“Don’t worry Y/n, yours are better than hers anyways”

“Oh my god Gareth shut the fuck up” I said with a giggle.

𝟵:𝟬𝟴 𝗽𝗺

♫ there’s a man with no life in his eyes…

Well damn. She died.

“That was a boring kill, it looked like he stabbed a pillow, probably did” Gareth said, annoyance in his voice.

Can you tell when it came to kills he was very serious on how stuff happened and when it happened? Basically the kill expert, this boy is.

𝟵:𝟮𝟯 𝗽𝗺

“What? Oh that’s so stupid!” Gareth said standing up and saying a little too loudly.

Jason ended up not even being Jason, instead being the paramedic from the beginning of the movies, the first victim being his son so he came for revenge.

𝟵:𝟯𝟯 𝗽𝗺

“That was stupid, hopefully the next one is actually Jason” Gareth complained as we walked out of the theater and out of a the mall doors.

“Really that’s what your worried about? I’m more interested in who’s idea it was to have so much nudity in this one”

He just chuckled and kissed my cheek.

Fingers crossed the next one has less tits so I don’t have to cover his eyes.

ꕥꕥꕥ

𝗔/𝗡: I absolutely love this movie, It gets a lot of hate but it’s honestly my favorite Friday film. And yes, I had to add in the gay awakening for Violet bc she was one of mine so I had to add it in. And yes this film was actually directed by someone who directed porn, watch this film at your own risk! I might make this into a series too, basically you and Gareth going to go see different movies together and how it goes!

#stranger things #hellfire club #stranger things imagine #imagine #gareth emerson #gareth x reader #gareth emerson x reader #gareth #gareth stranger things #eddie munson #corroded coffin #friday the 13th #friday the 13th a new beginning #gwydion lashlee walton #gareth the great #starcourt mall #jason voorhees

196 notes · View notes

brainzzzeater · 1 day

Note

I’m having a hard time understanding a lot about this conflict. Today, in the USA (Chicago Illinois, San Francisco California, and in New York) Pro-Palestinian activists decided to block the bridges to prevent people from entering or leaving. As a result, people waited for a minimum of 5 hours before the bridge was completely opened for them to cross. I’ve been reading stories of people who were transporting stem cells, sick people, etc who weren’t able to make it out.

According to the protestors, their goal was to cause an “economic blockade” by causing everyone to not be able to go anywhere

Shockingly a lot of Palestinians were supporting this saying that inconveniencing Americans is a good way to bring light to the situation happening in Gaza. I’ve even had some say that the few lives that were lost because of this were “fine” because it’s for the cause. I don’t want to believe that everyone is this cruel, so I will give my thought generally speaking.

I’m not an expert on these things, I don’t know much so im just using logic. Joe Biden is not the supreme authority over Israel. So let’s say that the USA stops sending aid to Israel completely. Let’s say they cut ties. Where will the protesting end up then? Will it move to another country who may support Israel? The way I see it is, Israeli government is going to do what it wants to do whether America sends it money or not.

Secondly, why is it that Americans have to suffer for what we cannot control? Blocking the bridge did nothing for the people in control. They were comfortably in their homes, meanwhile working mothers and fathers lost job time because of this. People have children to feed. How is what’s happening in Gaza somehow the fault of innocent civilians?

This act today was just cruel and my heart hurt because of it. I in no way am turning a blind eye to the suffering of those in Israel, whether that be Israeli or Palestinian. But at some point we really have to think about where our actions will take us. I’m curious to know if anyone is sharing the same thoughts as I am. Again, I am not educated on the conflict to where I can speak confidently about it 100%, im just looking at this from a logical standpoint.

Not sure why this question was asked to me but I’ll do my best to answer you as simply as I can put it. I try my best to keep myself informed every day about the genocide in Gaza and protest/boycotts occurring here in the United States.

Yes it absolutely was an economic blockade, because it disrupted a small section of the economy in major cities in the United States.

It isn’t shocking to hear Palestinians are happy to see major protests coming from Americans. In fact, I’m sure they see it as a beacon of hope that the main country funding the genocide in Gaza is not being supported by many of their own citizens. I have personally not heard anyone say that it was “fine” for lives being lost in the blockades. Though I will say it is saddening to hear that that happened, and I send my best wishes to those affected by the loss of this people.

If or when the United States stops sending Billions of dollars to Israel, no the protests will not stop. There are many countries that still hold protests despite their own government supporting Palestinians as well. The difference is HOW the protests are conducted. The reason they are more disruptive here in America is because we want to show the government that we do not stand behind them in the decision they are making to continue supporting Israel.

You are right. The protest did not directly/immediately affect any of the politicians or millionaires in the country. But one thing to know about our own economy is that it is extremely fragile. And the government HATES when we go out of our way to disrupt the order of “peace” they have kept around us. Protests, as we have all hopefully learned in any history class, are very successful ways to bring great change to the issues they are tackling with determination from the participants. In the grand scheme of things, the majority of Americans will NEVER suffer the way the majority of Palestinian families have suffered. Every single day there are entire bloodlines being murdered, children being sniped, innocent people literally being BLOWN UP. It would be selfish to turn a blind eye to what is happening to them.

Living in America fucking sucks. With the way things are going politically, if you are not a white cisgendered heterosexual man you will be targeted by your own government. The capitalist society built around us is so suffocating and draining that we are being worked to the grave. So a lot of people, including yourself, wonder why should I have to put the work in if it doesn’t effect me?

To that all I have to say is. I care about people. I have sympathy. Just because I will suffer does not mean I will not fight for others. I wish I could do more than just spread awareness, and give more of the little money I have. Sometimes all people can do is block a bridge and shout till their throats are soar to do ANYTHING to help innocent lives across the sea. And that is better than nothing.

#free gaza #free palestine #all eyes on rafah #all eyes on palestine #all eyes on gaza #fuck isntreal

2 notes · View notes

ageless-aislynn · 11 months

Text

Yay, I’ve finished my second Mass Effect: Andromeda playthrough, this time romancing Peebee! I was just going to do the - ahem - Zero-G no strings option and quit there but it turned out that the save point I jumped in at was literally right at that part so I decided to keep on playing, just to do more of the flirting etc. Then I got to the scene where we - AHEM - locked in the romance and that was so near to the end of the game by that point that I decided to finish it so I could get to the movie night, because that was something I loved in my initial playthrough with Jaal!

I really think they should’ve let Lexi (the blue Asari lady on the right for those who don’t know 😉) sit next to Drack (the big Krogan fella on the left). Nobody’s ever going to convince me that she’s not at least a little bit sweet on him, d’aww. 😉

Sadly, you don’t get your honey with you during movie night when you romance Reyes but I guess that much sexy sitting on a sofa would’ve caused a spontaneous combustion! 😇😉

D’aww, and here’s Sara and Peebee! And Vetra behind them on the left who seems to be napping, like Cora is on the right, lol! Well, the crew of the Tempest had a hard day, after all. They don’t need a nap, they need a full-on good night’s sleep! 😴😇😉

Now, for my next trick... I want to do a playthrough with Sara and Vetra before I switch over to Scott. I haven’t gotten into modding so all of my Sara’s looks are basically just changing the color and style of her outfit, though I did think to give her a different hairstyle with Peebee. I honestly love her look with Reyes, I think the outfit and red and black coloring really suit her! 💖 (My Sara x Reyes vid ‘cause I really love them a lot, your honor 😉)

I’m not sure if I’ll keep her hair red (I really do like the red hair, though, so I’ll probably just try for a different style) and then may do a different color variation on the red and black outfit. I want her to be all spiffy for our best Turian girl, after all! 😇😇😇

For Scott, I actually like the default look for him, so am not planning on changing his face like I did with Sara. The Sara default face is one of those that can look nice from one angle, then a little weird from another, so I went with preset 5 or 6, can’t remember which at the moment, (edit: I went back and looked and that is NOT preset 5 or 6, I’m not actually sure which preset she is, oops) and made some minor makeup changes between all 3 romances.

Scott and Sara’s default looks. Annnnnd now I feel bad for dissing her default look. Okay, new plan: I’ll do a playthrough in her default look once I’m done with my Vetra romance. I wanted at least one more playthrough to romance Suvi, so... here’s my chance! *pats default!Sara*

Anyway, Scott is definitely going to romance Cora first for his full playthrough, then we’ll back up and switch to Gil because holy moly, I really ended up caring about Gil and I’d love to see how it’s going to work out with Gil having a baby with his friend Jill once he’s in a relationship with Scott! 🤔 Scott also needs to romance Avela because, as I love to remind y’all...

I know it’s just a tiny little quasi-romance but it’s KATE KENNEDY and if I can romance Kate frickin’ Kennedy in a video game, then, by Jove, step back and watch me get my romance on, yeahhhhhhh mannnnnnn!

(I feel like Vannak is representing every single person reading this right now... 😮😂😂😂)

This playthrough took me about 60 hours instead of 120 like the first one because I dropped several of the side quests this time. I also knew to place the forward stations right away so you can fast travel and such. I honestly think I can cut the time in a half again just because I have a better idea of which quests you need to do and which you don’t. I’m still really loving the game, even more as I get more comfortable with everything.

Ahhh yeah, look at how comfortable Sara is with her Pathfinder duties now! 😂😂😂

#mass effect: andromeda #mass effect andromeda #sara ryder x peebee #sara ryder x pelessaria b'sayle #sara ryder x jaal ama darav #sara ryder x reyes vidal #mass effect andromeda update of updateyness #this is my game tag #ageless aislynn #is having so much fun right now 😇

16 notes · View notes

thatgirlwithasquid · 10 months

Text

tag game: stranger things edition 👻

tagged by @ratbastardbilly and @intothedysphoria (ty guys xx)

1. ride or die ship (your otp): CUNNINGWAY!!! They’re my girls. Chrissy and Heather my beloveds. I have never been so hyped for a ship before and this is the first time I’ve put this much effort into one, but if I don’t advocate for this rarepair then who will? (the answer is bambi. bambi will. but whatever, you get the point)

2. most annoying ship: there isn’t really a ship i find WHOLLY annoying. stancy maybe. i also think jancy and mileven have ran their course and jopper gives me a lil bit of the ick. obvi no hate to the ships or those that ship it!!

3. second favourite ship: ima have to say harringrove, but there are others i like a lot too!!

4. favourite platonic relationship: heather, chrissy & billy. the chaos trio. more should be done with them <3

5. underrated ship: there are so many!! argyle/chrissy (which i am lovingly referring to as pompompinapple, just try and stop me)? byergrove (billy/jonathan)? calicheer (billy/chrissy)??? how can i possibly choose????

6. overrated ship: uhhhh this feels dangerous. but steddie. dont get me wrong, i love this ship, but the boom in works for them was INSANE cause i dont think they have TOO MUCH chemistry in canon (tho there 100% is a good bit and it makes sense)

7. one thing i would change in canon: the blatant lack of care the main cast have for characters outside their group. no empathy for billy, barely anyone looking into heather, characters dying that no one mentions again…

8. something canon did right: I really liked steve and dustin’s dynamic. like, a LOT. they cocked it up a bit in s4 for the sake of ‘haha, dumb steve’ but yeah. theyre sweet :)

9. a thing i’m proud of creating for the fandom: my sideblog @poolsidepanic . i know that its a niche ship but i hope i help other people who love them as much as me actually be able to enjoy their ship and not just… be disappointed when they come up empty handed. the art and little fics and such i make over there make me so happy <3

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldnt change a thing): heather. sassy, bitchy, yet kindhearted lifeguard? yes. the only thing id change is the DISSERVICE THE DUFFERS GAVE HER WHEN THEY KILLED HER AND IGNORED HER EXISTENCE.

11. the character i relate most to the most and why: steve. just how he responds to the offhanded comments the people he cares about make to him, that they never seem to realise hurt.

12. character i hate most and why: neil, karen, brenner. no explanation needed

13. something ive learned from the fandom: idk. ive always wanted to be a positive person but seeing some of the toxicity in the fandom has made me really want to keep my little blog as positive and safe as i can for everyone. some things we see SUCK but if i can make someones day a lil better id like to? so not really a learn but an encouragement to be nicer wherever i can

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: i dont read a lot of st fanfiction, actually. i havent been in the mood for it for AGES!! but in general im a slow burn, hurt/comfort, angst kind of person. i love the occasional, agonising right person not enough time or some character bashing for the sake of compelling suffering (if done right!!!)

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: ooooh fun!!! ‘Groan’, ‘Wet’ and ‘Maggot’ by Dazey and the Scouts are so Billy. ‘Drunk Walk Home’ by Mitski gives me Chrissy vibes, and ‘Maggot’ again for her tbh (billy and chrissy, my sad beloved blorbos). there arent any songs i associate with cunningway yet tho 😔

tagging: @bigdumbbambieyes @hargrove-mayfields @billyhargrovesupsidedownshadow @every-dayiwakeup and anyone else interested in sharing :)

#tag game

9 notes · View notes

fakesurprise · 1 year

Text

I almost stopped as I entered the kitchen. Cai was sitting at the breakfast table, eating sugary cereal Dad almost never bought. Three bowls at been set out along with orange juice: Dad almost never did that on weekdays, even if it was a Friday. Cai glanced up with an easy smile, waving his spoon to the old fridge against the wall.

I could hear Opal showering upstairs, and there was no yelp of shock so I almost certain Cai hadn’t done something magical, but the fridge has no notes or pictures on it: someone had taken the time to get a lot of mismatched magnetic letters and leave a note for us.

That Dad had done this rather than print a note or text us said something, but I had no clue what. Cai didn’t look worried, but Cai was really good at that. When your personal magic functions akin to luck, you do get to be pretty zen. As far as I knew, Cai had never been hurt and no magic seemed to affect him. A news report when he was two had led to mom and dad adopting him, which also wasn’t unusual: most magical families adopted spontaneous magic into them to keep everyone safe.

Opal and I weren’t adopted, not that we cared. Opal had been furious when was two and realized her skin would never look like ‘honey’ like Cai’s had had been angry with our parents for over a month, something she still got teased about. She made up for it last year when she casually described Cai as ‘Brazilian Shaggy’ to a stranger, and that had even reached our high school and stuck around.

I walked over to the fridge and studied the note Dad had left.

He’d taken the time to mix sets and make it neat. Definitely worried, and trying to hide it.

Kids: Mom is at Work at the next 4-5 months. Don’t expect to see her often. Even I don’t know the basics of the situation, but it’s Big. I’m dealing with tax issues at work for the Spring Equinox. Have put money into your accounts to cover needs, have grocery deliveries set to arrive every 3 days on my visa. Add things as needed, call when you need to.

Have work event this weekend.

Expect some pushback at school. Try not to cause or be problems?

Love and apologies, Dad.

The other side of the fridge had written upon it:

Cai: formal dinner to meet Luka might have to wait a bit; apologize for us?

Gemma: keyed things to you; maintain and change what you need. Keep an eye for oddness?

Opal: Mom might need your aid at some point; don’t strain yourself.

I walked over to the table, accepted the bowl of sugary fruity cereal Cai poured and sat down. “Shit.”

He raised two thin, perfect eyebrows.

“I’m allowed to swear, remember. I didn’t turn the house wards brown.”

Cai laughed. “It only lasted six hours at least,” he said, light and soft as ever. “Nothing additional from Mom or Dad?”

“Not to me.” I paused for a few bites. “Has Dad ever told us to expect pushback from Mom’s job like that?”

Cai considered that, then slowly shook his head. “When your job involves turning over stones, there are many who dislike what is found underneath? It’s not as if mom is even allowed to tell us what she does for the government, but I always assumed that was to protect us?”

“Not the government?”

“I think our government protects itself well. At least compared to normal ones?”

I shrugged. Mom kept most of her work secret from us, but her personal magic means she can’t be lied to, and privately I was sometimes happy mom wasn’t home often to grill us about classes, partners or grades. Most of the job of the magical government was making sure mages didn’t hurt ordinary people – or each other – unduly, and keeping magic quiet.

A few of my friends considered me odd, but I didn’t think most of my normal ones actually knew I did magic. It helped that most magic was far less impressive in the normal world, and that the universe in general pushed back against magic. For most people it was old stories or over there, and not really a problem. Which mostly worked out for the best for everyone.

Annie – one of my oldest friends, who had moved away last year – had known, and we kept in touch. She’d discovered Opal was a seer when Opal casually mentioned things she couldn't have known, and I’d admitted my family used magic. Annie hadn’t been too fazed by it: she had relatives who had got deep into Amway, and her one uncle had been part of a cult once. Every family had their own weirdness.

Opal came downstairs quickly, not missing a step. Seers don’t miss things like other people do, not that I envied her. It was just past seven and she already had sunglasses on from a migraine that would happen later. I did envy that she took after mom: blond hair, thin, the same pale eyes and cheeks that were almost as impressive as Cai’s.

I took after dad: solid, the build that says ‘this person could play Football if they wanted’, brown hair and eyes. Compared to my brother and sister I looked ordinary, which I’d come to see as a blessing more than anything else. My magic wasn’t one I used, but I excelled at formal magic like Dad did. Wards, protections, the use of bell, book and candle. You don’t think of not standing out as a gift until you see what standing out does.

Didn’t mean I was always happy with it, but I’d had seventeen years to get used to being me. Some days I was even good at it.

#writing #prose #throwing shade #revised first bit :)

4 notes · View notes

ambitionectomy · 1 year

Note

I have at least 47 questions that could be posed. Here are some of them:

Can I change my name from atrociousphish to something you would recognize?

Pretend I have NO social media presence other than this tumblr account I just created. Does that count as a question?

Do you think I created this account with the SOLE PURPOSE of reading your work without subscribing to the Globe?

What if God walked into your house in human form and started swearing just for the sheer fun of defying expectations? Would you invite her to stay for dinner?

Why do they keep Boston so goddamn far away from Portland?

Do they still have Emack and Bolios?

If you had, say, 3 children, might they ALL be giants? (asking for a friend with children who are way too tall)

Favorite sandwich?

Did you know that NOT watching SNL was WAY ahead of its time?

How bad was that cold snap?

Do you really think I'm going to come up with 47 questions?

More importantly, do you think I'll remember to check tumblr ever again? I kinda hope so!

When was the last time you rode the T?

Do you still reserve 30 minutes for writing every night? Or is it more now? Or is it less now?

17. This is question 17, right?

Did you get that Pomona lookbook link? Kristina (Foley) posted this:

19. Pretty awesome, right? :) Look at those two! :)

Nineteen is like 47 today, 'cause that's where I'm gonna stop. If you don't know who this is, you should alert the tumblr police.

20. Are there tumblr police?

This is delightful and I miss you. And also, you had me (knowing who you are) at 47. There was just no way it was anyone else.

And that photo is awesome. Look at us. And I haven’t done that lookbook thing yet, but if you are on there, I’m in.

And why DO they keep Boston so far away from Portland? It doesn’t make a lot of sense, practically. I don’t even know if Emack and Bolio’s still exists. I haven’t ridden the T for a couple of years, alas. D works in the city and so does not want to visit it during any of his time off. I still love it there. What to do? Go on my own, one might say. But who do I meet at Cafe Joy, if it is even still there?

My children are not all giants. Two of them are mighty big, with one of them being the tallest thing we have. The third one is smaller than I am by a couple of inches but personality-wise and power-wise, she is huge. She just did a semester in London where theater people with British accents trained her to not be afraid of her own power and to take up space. Now, watch out. I am so interested that your boys are giants. I miss them. They look like such nice people in the photos.

I read that some movie theater tickets now cost $16.50. No, they don’t! They cost $5 to me forever, because that is what you and I used to pay most of the time, I think. I haven’t been to a movie theater in a long time, either, but that is okay.

If God came into my house and started swearing, I would be delighted. And He would be in good company among my kids. Not that they are here. God could fill in.

How bad was that cold snap? Bad enough that I thought your thing about it, the one involving witches. It really was. I’m guessing.

Not watching SNL — that’s funny. I am still ahead of the curve in that department. Or right alongside the curve?

Favorite sandwich lately: Fake BLT. Well the B is fake. The L is real. The T is real. So is the mayo and the bread. Maybe I should call it a Mostly Real BLT. You?

I am not, I’m sorry to say, still writing for 30 minutes a day. I spend so much time and energy on the Globe work that I don’t have the oomph left for other creative stuff. I’m milked! But maybe someday I will do that again. It is a good way to keep going.

I am really touched that you would make an account just to see my work. You can do that here, because then I might be able to see that you have seen my work. OR I also post all my stuff on my website, which is just my big old three-car train of a name plus the dot com. Or you can ignore my work altogether. As long as you are my friend, I don’t need anything else from you. I’m so glad you are my friend.

I send you and your whole crew love. Thank you for making me happy by making this account and writing me so many questions, atrociousphish. Would know you anywhere by any name! Or, you know, by one number.

3 notes · View notes

leftbystarlight · 2 years

Note

Hi hi, id like to ask a couple of questions if thats alright?

- can we really only have up to 2 characters once the rp starts?

- how many paragraphs are expected when roleplaying? Are you guys flexible or literate-exclusive?

- is there a way i can maximize my chances of being accepted? What are you guys looking for, exactly?

- what level of violence is too much?

- how many people are you guys planning to accept?

Hey there!! Thank you for the questions!

1. Yes! Especially at the start- and perhaps indefinitely. This rule may change at some point, but will likely be on a case-by-case basis. If any members are granted permission to make/adopt more than 2 characters, it will be based heavily on their activity level and investment in the roleplay! For now, we think that the 2-character limit is plenty to start off with!

2. We don’t have a specific paragraph requirement. I would consider us semi-literate. No script roleplay, period, and I personally will try to aim for at least a paragraph or two per response; but that may be different for everyone! At the end of the day, there are two goals: give your character life, and move the roleplay along. So in your posts, give your characters some personality! Have them interact with other characters, give them an inner monologue, describe what they are doing! Keep other role players in mind- nobody likes to be stumped on how to move forward with things!

3. We want members who are able to go with the flow, and also help keep it going. This is an 18+ roleplay, and mostly we’re looking for maturity. There’s nothing that will really minimize your chances of being selected save for if you are A. a bigot or B. We feel that your character may cause more conflict than what’s appropriate… everyone wants to have a fun, interesting roleplay experience. Nobody wants to feel like their characters are being completely overshadowed because one person keeps putting their single OC at the center of attention every time.

4. Keep it to the typical level of violence seen in the warriors series. There will be fighting and death, but please refrain from being overly gory/descriptive. If you are asked to place something under a spoiler for any reason, we just ask that you agree.

5. We’re looking for around 10-15 people for each clan, but that may change depending.

7 notes · View notes

wanderedaway · 2 years

Note

Okay, that last part is like a lot, so feel free to just answer - let's spread some happiness around! --

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people that reblogged from you!

I want to update quickly and say, I’ve really been looking forward to the new chapter, but for reasons, I’ve had to take a step back. Things escalated so quickly over the last couple days and then the whole month so far has just been very unkind. 'Cause April wasn't great exactly, but it's been a heck of a lot better than May has been. No idea what the deal is because several other people in my life are not having a good time, either and it’s taken everyone by surprise. Don’t know if there’s some kind of misalignment in the stars or something nefarious happening behind the scenes, but it’s pushing me and other people to their limits, it seems.

Anyhoo, onto the ask. (I had to rewrite all this because tumblr flaked out on me.🥲)

1. A small act of kindness I can provide for someone. Whether it’s helping someone with something, or buying someone their favorite drink as a pick me up, or lending a listening ear, or saying just the right thing they need to hear (doesn’t happen often, I don’t want to lie to someone, so I use this sparingly. I’m also not great with words. I often surprise myself as often as I do to the person on the receiving side of it.), or wrapping a gift with personalized paper and touches, etc. etc. I get genuine happiness from it. Anytime I provide a little bit of kindness that I know someone might need, I’ll give it willingly.

2. Spotify. Lol, it really has changed my life. It’s so nice to have so much music in one place. And then to be able to discover new songs or rediscover old ones from another time in my life.

3. Indulging in my favorite drinks or foods. Bonus points if someone surprises me with one. My favorite coffee right now from Starbucks is a chocolate cream cold brew (and the baristas add vanilla and white mocha to mine because they know that I like mine on the sweeter side.) I had two of them yesterday and it was worth it despite the side effects. (But I’ve realized that I can have dairy??? I haven’t been paying too much attention, but I know I’ve had more than that I thought I should, but I’ve felt fine otherwise.) 4. Our cats! They’re so fun and sweet (when they want to be). I particularly miss my brother’s cat, but he moved away a few months ago. DaVinci is secretly the favorite. He’s the best one to hug. Lucy will secretly love you and then for the sake of looks, will bite or claw you to make it seem like she doesn’t. And then Sadie, I call her the favorite child. She was the stray we picked up and she really is the sweetest, but every now and then, I think the title gets to her head and then she’s clawing one of the chairs. But yeah, just cats in general. You might catch me watching videos of cats probably more often than I should. It might be a problem.

5. Any time spent being creative. Especially since it’s so hard to come by lately. I haven’t done any drawing or painting in 8 years. It sucks seeing all that time go by not maintaining the few skills I had there, but I’ve managed to pick up a few other ways to keep that creative outlet. The little bit of writing here and there I’ve managed to get out and then dusting off photoshop when the inspiration strikes.

Thank you Shet! 😘💕

#asks #weirdly enough i kinda feel better now than i have all day #what sorcery is this?#thank you shet! ❤️

4 notes · View notes

dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years

Text

5/30/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

Psalm 119:1 - 88

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. Today is May the 30th. I am Jill and it is my joy, my complete honor and my privilege to be here reading the Bible for us together, in community, individually, collectively, as we walk through the Word in chronological order every day. Today we are reading Psalm 119 and we're reading verses 1 through 88. This week we are reading in the New Living Translation, Psalm 119.

Commentary

So these poems read a little bit different today than what we have been reading with David in the Psalms. And to me, this poetry today sounds. Well, it sounds like maturity. If I'm just being honest. It sounds like a kid that maybe had to be disciplined and be taught some hard lessons, and then they turn into an adult and then have children and then acquire the appreciation from parents because it takes that for us to understand the sacrifice that they made on our behalf. I also hear some longing for accountability and the words, and it just makes me wonder, what lives would we live if we humbled ourselves and asked people to keep us accountable when we trip up? I have tried hard to find you. Don't let me wander from your commands. I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you. I praise you, O Lord. Teach me your decrees. Help me understand the meaning of Your commands. Give me the privilege of knowing Your instructions. I mean, this is a person who has a longing for something deeper, for something more. And so maybe that's the challenge of our heart today. Maybe that's the deeper look inside from Scripture into the mirror of our own lives. Are we walking in a life of humility and maturity? Are we longing for accountability and humbling ourselves? Are we wanting to know God deeper and to know His Word? Are we hiding His Word in our heart so that we may not sin against Him? Because I just happen to believe because I've experienced it, I've walked it out in my life. That when we truly want things to be different in our lives and we ask God for those changes and for help through his ability to do the next right thing to make the next different choice than the way that we've been living to literally repent and go in a different direction. I truly believe with all of my heart that when we remember his words, it causes us to pause and we remember and we want to please God. We want to do things differently. We want to live different lives than what we've been living. There has been an awareness in our conscience, a shaking, if you will, from our status quo, in our autopilot ways of responding through our actions, through our words and through our deeds. And we no longer want to just go along with the status quo and go along with things the way that we've done them. We want to please God. We want to be in a relationship with Him that is offering something of ourselves that is Holy and pleasing to Him. Now don't mistake my words Holy and pleasing with perfection because we will not get this perfect no matter what we do. And so oftentimes we get so fixated, so obsessed with behavior modification. And ultimately it's because if you're behaving well, it makes the person behind the behavior look really good. And then we're just creating perfectionists that are performance driven, if I'm just being honest. So we're throwing perfection out the window into the pond wherever you want to throw it. And maybe even we can, just as we let go of perfection work towards better than what we've been doing.

Prayer

Father, we love you and we are people individually here collectively here. We are a community that is here, God, that is completely founded and in existence because we want to hear Your word. We want to know you through your word. Whatever our motive is, if we're just here to check off the list that we did it for the day, if we are here because we've been challenged, if we're here because we just want your word to say something to us, whatever the reason, whatever the motives are, here we are. We are a people here saturating ourselves in your word. And I thank you that you saw it fit 16 years ago before podcasting was even a thing that you would choose one of the most unlikely people in my husband to let your word go forth globally, to literally thousands of hundreds of thousands of people. And we are here to allow you to speak for yourself. And I pray God that you don't speak without transforming our lives from the inside out. And yes Father, I pray that the goal goal is for us to become mature Christians, people that can look past the stages of life that have us so selfabsorbed being people that are just after something give me and being all about us and what we can obtain. But greater than that, Father, I pray that we will be people that live lives pleasing to you that would point people to your Son, Jesus Christ, who was and is the way, the truth, the life and love. Love that's undefinable, unfathomable, unspeakable. I wish I could put it into words, but I don't even understand it to be able to describe it. But let my life, let our lives show the love of Jesus to everyone that we come in contact with, putting aside our differences, trading our need to be right, disarming our pride so that we can enter into relationship with people. That we would stop dismissing people based on political platforms and religious rules that tend to absolutely decimate the body of Christ and let us embrace our differences and come together for the likeness that we are all created in the image of God and we bear our Father's image. We need your help to complete such a task and I'm grateful that you are able to do just that and you are able to do exceedingly more that we can ask for, think of, and I thank you for who you are. Pray this now. In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible That's Homebase. That's the website. Check it out. If you have not, take a look around the app. It's pretty simplistic and efficient and it is really there for your convenience, so check that out. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much for your partnership. We could not do this without you. If you're giving by mail, it's DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174. Or you can conveniently use your mobile app on your smart device or whatever. What do you call those phones? Technology? Electronic. That's what it was. It's been a long day electronic device. It's conveniently located, so just hit the Give icon. It's up at the top right hand corner of that electronic device and also look for the give icon on the website if you need prayer. If you'd like to pray for someone that's previously called in, you can do so several different ways. First of all, 800 583-2164, that's the old fashioned way. Picking up the phone and dialing it. I just got flashbacks of using my grandmother's old fashioned phone that you waited for the dial to reach all the way over and pull all the way back. Anyways, once again, you can utilize your electronic device and hit the red circle button it's up at the top right hand corner of the app. You have two minutes on the prayer line. Make sure you hit submit and then turn the wheel over to Chronological and it will get to the right place. Lastly, just a fun little thing that Brian and I are going to do this week. I don't think we've ever done one of these very informal, just very casual and laid back. This Friday evening on Facebook at the Daily Audio Bible official Facebook page. Brian, I will do a live Q and A. You can send in your questions if there's something burning you want to know about the Daily Audio Bible. And you will find our email addresses right on the Web address. That will be this coming Friday, 06:00 p.m. Central Standard time on the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page. So I'm looking forward to that because one, they make my introverted husband's skin crawl. And two, I'm an extrovert, so bring it on. I will have snacks and we will just have a little party. There might even be dancing, I don't know. But we hope that you'll be there. We hope to see you there. And hopefully that will not be horrible for him and a lot of fun for all the best. Okay, that's going to do it for me today. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow and I look forward to it. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Hi, guys. This is Kate calling in to pray for a new listener. New caller, I should say. Nanette in London. Father, I lift up Nanette to you and anybody else who's dealing with anxiety, and that includes me. I pray, Father, that you would reveal to Nanette what is causing her most recent struggle with anxiety. Would you bring it to her mind, whatever it is, or maybe there's more than one hit by the power of the Holy Spirit. Please show her what is causing this so that she can then move forward to the game plan and just check that box of okay, now I know why help her with her poor sleep? Because obviously that is just part of the snowball of anxiety and all the symptoms and results. She said something about anger at herself and I didn't catch it. But I just pray, Father, that you would cradle her in your arms and let her know that being angry at herself is futile and it's not what you would have. Rather, you would just reveal to her what's causing that emotion and help her to walk through it with your Grace and your mercy and your power. I pray these things in Jesus precious name. Amen.

This is Rodney from Atlanta. DAB family just want to pray for the mother. I believe she's in China who mentioned that she had a child who had ADHD and the same child has expressed desire to take his life. The double is alive. We're going to come against that spirit now. So I want us to agree together, father, you send your word. And if we agree together as touching anything on Earth and it shall be done. You said if any two of us agree, God. Lord, there's more than two of us on this prayer line. So God I thank Lord right now if we touch and agree that this child will be healed and God you will bring comfort to us. You also said your word Lord if we bind anything on Earth you will bind it in heaven. If we lose anything on Earth you will lose it in heaven. Lord right now we lose peace and joy coming to this child's life. We come against this spirit. Double you alive. The Lord rebuke you and the blood of Jesus comes against you now. Lord I thank you all for his child being raised up for your great work and for the great work that you have or damn for him. God he's wonderfully and Fifthly made God we thank Lord right now for completing the work in his life. God we thank Lord for deliverance. Thank God for healing God. Test the mother, get rid of wisdom as to deal with the child, test the father, give him the wisdom, understand how to deal with the child Lord to bring him to the point that he will be delivered and set free. God you will use this baby for your will and for your glory. God we thank you. Praise you already in advance that it shall be done around the world. We agree together that it shall be done in the mighty mattress. The marvelous and majestic name of Jesus we pray. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you. My mother took my sister over in China and she'll be done in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

Big Joe calling from Barrie, Ontario I would like to take this opportunity to pray for Amber who is in China for the concerns that she has raised for her seven year old son James. My father James seems to have ADHD and as a result is struggling with a lot of feelings of insecurity, unworthy, being different and just generally sounds like he's depressed and down. So Lord God you certainly know what that feels like and I just prayed Lord God that you would really comfort James and help him to lean into you. It's great that he's part of the daily audio Bible children's message. But Lord I just pray that you'll really touch special touch into his life and that he would not feel so different. I pray that potentially he would have another child come in to his life that may have kinship with so that it doesn't feel so alone. Thank you for Amber and I just pray that you'll encourage her as well as apparent it must be very difficult to constantly be on and the burden is on her heart. Lord I just pray that you will help Amber continue to have the energy that is placed upon her to meet the needs of her love son so we commit them both to you in prayer. Lord I give thank you for both of them in their life.

Hi China, I just want to say thank you for the work you're doing. I'm really grateful for the sacrifices you're making to be here reading the word for us and unpacking the word of God and also of life and sharing. Thank you so much. And I just want to say I hold you up in prayer and also your family and I just want to pray for you right now, father. I thank you for China and Ben and Reagan the praise. I thank you that you are there. I pray that you will protect them and be with them and guide them and just hold them up and bless them so richly. I pray that you will give them Grace and that you will bless them with lots of joy and happiness. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Good morning, family. It is Inga from Denmark. Today is the 23 may. I just listened to the podcast and there's this wonderful lady from the UK. I didn't catch your name. I'm sorry I couldn't make it out but you called in basically just thanking me and encouraging me for my praise report that I called in on the 16th. So you call us from the 16th. It's a week old and I was so moved when I heard you say like one day I'm going to be able to look back at nausea and wonder where it went Because it is going to be a thing of my past and not my present and I just feel so seen by God and so known by God that he knew that I was going to need to hear that from somebody today and he used you to deliver that to me. The past week has really been challenging because the north has been so intense and I don't waiver. I told the devil that he can throw it at me as much as he wants and the more that he's going to try to draw me away from God, the closer I'm going to draw to God. I'm not going to waver, not going to leave. But I just want to thank you so much for and let that be an encouragement to all of us when we feel God notching at us to call in and pray for somebody do it. It is so significant. It can mean the world of difference to the person that you pray for. So thank you.

1 note · View note

aditijainportfolio · 1 month

Text

Culturally Responsive Pedagogy

Aditi Jain

The way I understood Jeffrey Dessources’ “everyone is an educator” is that because of everyone’s unique experiences, there is something to learn from every person you meet. There are no two people who have experienced the same things in the same way. Thus all people have been taught different life lessons that have led them to be successful or not so successful. Speaking to different people, whether you find them to have more or less experience than you, or even if you feel that they are “less successful” than you, can give you perspectives on issues that you would maybe never have considered. This applies inversely as well. Everyone can be considered a student because there is something to learn from everyone around you. Even students/children. The students we teach will have experiences that differ from our own, so they will have their own stories to tell. Furthermore, as mentioned in the video, technology and popular culture is always changing, and it’s not always easy to follow along. The newer generations will always be the first to be introduced to new trends, and so it’s important for educators to approach each day with the mind of a student so that we are able to adapt to and understand those new technologies so that we can connect with our pupils; and often on the way, use that technology to make our own lives easier.

Culturally responsive teaching means realizing that you will always be learning from your students. Students need different things based on their life experiences and there is no formula that can be applied to all of them. Thus, it’s important to view all aspects of culture when teaching: whether it be race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, popular culture, exclusive tribes, religion, technology, etc. Furthermore, these schemas are always changing, so mindsets that may have applied 5 years ago or even just a year ago may have changed. Culturally responsive teaching means being receptive to those changes. Most importantly, however, culturally responsive teaching means being a nice teacher. I’ve always had bad experiences with teachers and that really affected the way I perceived my entire life– whether it was my abilities, my likes and dislikes, and even my goals. Being positive and a kind person to your students regardless of the irritants that they may pose can change your childrens’ lives. Obviously, there is no way to be the perfect teacher. All people carry with them prejudices that will take time to untangle and learn about. However, being kind to your students despite those ingrained prejudices, and being open to learn about the multifaceted lives of these students makes an educator culturally responsive. Regarding the competency continuum, I think I probably sit somewhere in between pre-competence and blindness? I think that I am perhaps slightly more knowledgeable about humanitarian issues than some of my peers. I often find myself reading the news and getting educated on social justice matters more often than the people around me, because I grew up around a family that was always conscious of political issues. However, my advocacy only goes that far. Keeping myself educated and on top of these issues is important to me, but I hardly go out of my way to advocate actively for causes. I.e, I wouldn’t find myself at a protest, or raising money for a cause. I donate to causes that are important to me, i.e national center for missing children, or during the black lives matter protests within the last few years, and I make sure to vote in local, state, and national elections, but since I’ve become an adult I haven’t done much else. My friends and I also don’t actively engage in conversations about these subjects. Although occasionally I am inclined to talk about these issues, oftentimes my friends don’t have any information on these issues and/or serious conversations aren’t in our communication style. As such, it’s hard to say that I’m anything more than pre-competent or even blind to these issues. Since I am very privileged there are only a handful of issues that affect me, and so I don’t do as much as I should in regards to using my privilege to help others. In order to redeem this, I think it’s important for me to bring up these serious topics in my daily conversations with my friends. Breaking those superficial communication barriers to spread awareness about causes that are important to me as well as being able to understand my peers’ viewpoints is essential for me to learn more about the humanitarian crises that people suffer through in my community.

#cw

0 notes

truc0nfessionz · 3 months

Text

today i feel really sick and sad.

a lot of it is work. if im being honest, im tired. 5 years of constant changes and sprinting in new directions has fucking worn on me. 5 years of new bosses, new products, new leadership and the same disorganized CEO - it gets exhausting after a while.

it’s hard to be the one who champions every change, the one who always produces something from nothing. it’s hard to keep putting in “my all”, all of which gets thrown away when we see the next shiny object to chase. i get it, it must be hard to be ultimately responsible for the fate of the business and i really do have empathy for that.

but it is really hard to keep sprinting alongside it all. at some points, your legs give out and you’re just getting dragged. i try to be grateful there’s a company still here to drag me at all after all the questionable leadership we’ve seen.

i feel like i’m in jess’ crosshairs right now. she’s pissed that the CS numbers look bad, somehow conveniently forgetting that they forced me to go to absolute minimum viable staffing. now she’s focused on the hoops i can jump through to fix it. meanwhile, the answer is i just need more people.

and honestly, i get tired of jumping. i get tired of telling the same stories. i am so grateful to have this income, but the way it wears on my soul is starting to get old.

i hope it’s a phase. i hope we recover. i hope the metrics improve enough for her to focus her energy somewhere else and leave my team in peace. but if not, i guess we’ll see what happens. i guess we’ll see how much energy i can give and what happens when i finally can give no more. cause damn, i am so tired.

also, i’m still deeply hurt about my 30th birthday and the fact that my best friend and my parents didn’t really show up for me. i didn’t get a birthday card, a flower, a balloon, nothing. neither party tried to call me on my day. it’s like it was nothing to them. and considering I’M the person who shows up for them in every way - i go to great lengths to always make sure they feel special, loved, appreciated - it’s so fucking hurtful to me that they couldn’t even give me 10% of what i give them.

and it hurts a lot specifically from K. i’ve always said she’s the one who knows my heart. she would know that i literally don’t need expensive gifts or an equal contribution - i just want to be acknowledged in SOME WAY that shows you thought about me before this physical moment when i’m standing here. why would i have to explain that to someone who has claimed to know me and be my best friend for YEARS?

honestly, i don’t know how to get over this. i can see how to many it wouldn’t be a big deal, but to me it’s very personal. it’s the biggest milestone birthday ive had in a decade…. and you did nothing at all.

it’s actually enough for me to wonder if i’m going to continue the friendship at all. why would i show up for anyone who doesn’t show up for me?

and to add insult to injury - the fucking expensive ass gift i got her for christmas (that she ASKED FOR) isn’t the right thing in the end and she wasn’t even going to TELL ME during the period where i could actually get my money back. she would have let it sit there and let me waste my money entirely instead of just be honest with me.

how on earth is this someone who cares about me? the math doesn’t math on that at all. it just doesn’t.

so if i have to let this go overall, i have to. and it would hurt like hell for a long time. it fucking hurts right now. but as a 30 year old woman, i can’t show up for people who don’t show up for me. i won’t.

just because you’ve been a part of my life in the past doesn’t mean i can take you into the future. but i will let it go with love. i will wish nothing but the best for those who don’t move on with me. but i will hold the love for myself most dear - because at the end of the day: i can’t love anyone who doesn’t love me the same way.

so yeah i’m really fucking tired right now. just exhausted with work and with life. and honestly, if my best friend and i break up i might be exhausted for a long, long time. but i’m gonna push on. i’m gonna do what i can do. and no matter what, im gonna live a great life. with or without those who didn’t show up for me.

#1.25.24

0 notes

im-not-joseph · 1 year

Text

01-16-23

Dear Joseph,

I know that you are just another character that I created in my mind in 2014 as an effort to live out a fantasy life where everything just seemed to go right, but sometimes I feel like you are the only person that I can tell these things to. So I am going to do just that, in a place where nobody that I know will ever be able to follow along.

I lost my mentor on my birthday last year.

He had the same first name as you did, which only adds to the confusion in my mind. On the note of additions, to add to the pain, over the day of and three days to follow I only got to see the love of my life once for about 5 minutes after figuring out how absolutely fucked the send off to 2022 was going to be. To this day I don’t really know how I am supposed to feel about this and the circumstances leading up to it. I can only dread the next one when I know this pain will just come back in full force.

I don’t know what I am supposed to feel anymore, or if I am even allowed to feel anything. Everything seems to have spiraled out of control last year.

To start the year off, my career in tech decided to stagnate and then fall into a nose dive, so I made a conscious decision and moved 800 fucking miles across the country to accept a job closer to my significant other. We had talked about everything a pair of hopeless romantics would. I suppose that is another relationship that I just decided to fuck up by doing whatever I wanted to and going into a career that they simply couldn’t handle the schedule of. All cleverly disguised by a visual hatred for the profession as a whole.

I started off my dream career and made whole lot of close and trusted friends along the way, including a new love that I will surely talk about near constantly in these letters. I spend my days thinking of ways to advance my career, ways that I can positively impact this community and those around it, and opportunities that have opened up because of this life change. I feel more connected to people than I ever have, but it had the nasty side effect of opening up a couple of old wounds. Two people that I never wanted to see again live less than two hours from me and are painfully aware of my existence and location.

The year wasn’t all bad though. I found someone that I feel like I truly connect with, but at the same time feel like they could just as easily live their life without me in it. I am pretty sure that I am going to marry this woman and want nothing more than a life with her. I want nothing more than to wake up every morning to her beautiful blue eyes and find myself showing my true self and colors around her knowing the the joy that it brings me to hear her laugh at my quirks and the stupid shit that I say. I am also learning how impossible that I am to love because of this. I know that she doesn’t want kids, despite me wanting them. I know that she doesn’t feel any difference waking up beside me and after nearly a year has only been willing to sleep beside me a single time. I am positive in the absolute that she doesn’t find me sexually attractive at all and have come to terms with that, only realizing this morning that being called a “handsome and sexy man” by a friend of mine literally caused me to break down and cry on a phone call with them at 5 in the fucking morning because I have truly started to believe that I am some disgusting monster that nobody can find attractive anymore. The only thing that I used to want in life, sharing my last name with someone, is also something that she has no desire to do. I keep telling myself that I am okay with that, only to break down from stress and be reminded of it in the most painful fucking ways possible at least once a week now.

Joseph, I don’t know what will happen this year. I am sure there will be times when I laugh, there will be times when I cry, and there may even be my final moment before I die. But I will try and write you every couple of days to let you know.

#abelomizu #dearjoseph #writing #journal

1 note · View note

tinyfluffyshark · 1 year

Text

Tagged by @jupiter-squid

Tagging: @piabird @swords0827 @pompompuryun whoever else wants to!

Nickname: I have a billion, the most unique has been Citrus, I'm Meow to my niphlings, Pinky, Sid, Lyn, Pid

Sign: Pisces Sun (burn the textbook and it makes sense), Virgo Moon, Rising Gemini

Height: 5"7ish 8ish?

Last thing I googled: ignoring me tryna figure out my horoscope for the billionth time, and song lyrics, Shencomix, wanted to reread all of bluechair

Song stuck in my head: "Not Okay" Robert Grace and "8Now" Foodhouse

Amount of Sleep: I am perpetually fatigued but can't sleep cause I'm a night time person soo, too much and too little ywy

Dream Job: Something creative and hands-on, musician or artist or writer or witch doctor, herbalist florist or forest ranger or I dunno I have a lot of interests I just wanna be an RPG video game character!

Wearing: Gray sweater I stole from my partner, he got it from a blood donation drive the other day (I'm anemic so I can't qwq) and its pretty, my most stereotypically me black baggy pants, partners socks, and a lavender checkered sweater with a black hood that's soft but still doesn't fit right qwq OH and like and entire cats worth of cat fur! :D

Movies/Books that Summarize You: There aren't really any, and I'm not a movie person so besides Promare (because colorful upbeat and great soundtrack) I got nothing.

Books? I loved Heartless by Marissa Meyer, The Truth-Teller's Tale by Sharon Shinn got me interested in propinquity, anything by Tamora Pierce is a good shot, Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer, the Dragonkeeper Chronicles by Donita K. Paul, I love the Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner but I'm terrified of reading the last book, Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine omg

Favorite Song: Like with books I could keep going forever about music. I'll put five.

- Run Away - TxT

- The Heights by Heartbreaker (I recommend anything by them, also gores by nikbreakshearts)

- Sea by BTS

- I'm doing push-ups by Bears in Trees

- Deja Vu by Circus-P but also his whole 7/15 album ok

- I lied one more, The Price of Freedom by Takeharu Ishimoto because Crisis Core CHANGED ME FOREVER as a person and his stuff just kills me ok bye

Instrument: I can do a little flute and piano, my hands are too tiny for guitar, but if I could learn violin I'd die happy

Aesthetic: a cute chaotic gremlin, I violently switch aesthetics because I like whatever I like, but I also just wanna be comfy and happy and cute. Wear whatever gives me the serotonin and don't care if others don't think it matches!

Favorite Author: Okay since I already spazzed about books can I take a moment to promote Hello Bunny by nyam_nyamo on AO3 because it completely change the soulmate AU trope for me and I'll never be the same, I was screaming at them on Twitter after every update.

Alternatively if you like pain, Miintaexty is literally Satan to me

I realize these are both kpop fanfic authors but believe me. Just do it.

Random Fun Fact: I'm usually full of them but it's hard on demand. Oh I'm a weirdly good shot and it's a problem because my partner got us Nerf guns and I never remember not to shoot their face and my aim is. Good. which is bad. I'm so sorry. This has been discovered a few times and I'd definitely love to get into something that uses this odd skill.

Favorite Color: Blue and then Green, but also I just love anything colourful

Last Song: Was randomly singing You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban to bother my partner last night

Last Movie: Uhhhhh .....*shrugs*

Currently Craving: a time pause button or IRL save points

Tea or Coffee: I don't like the taste of tea but I drink it socially cause we are a Chai family and I just like warm sweet. I prefer (SWEET AND NOT BITTER) coffee but the caffeine is nooooooot good for my anxiety

Currently Working On: My marriage honestly (as in I just got married not as in we’re struggling), but also just improving my mental health and motivation enough to finish this damn degree satisfactorily so I can MOVE ON. Also getting my kitty (Nina) to like me and getting the tiny kitty (Meowki) to STOP HARRASSING NINA STOP LET HER GO TO THE BATHROOM YOU RASCAL

And decorating my new apartment. I make this place a home. Sewed the curtains myself UwU

#pia #here birdy birdy!#long post #tagged #I will talk a lot given the slihtest oppurtunity

0 notes