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pinkanonwrites · 6 months

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Washrack Academy

Jetstorm and Jetfire have a lot of questions about humans. But you? You just want to take your shower in peace.

TFA Jetfire, TFA Jetstorm, and Reader, no ships but it's implied Jetfire has a little crush on the reader, human reader, non-sexual nudity, is it still voyeurism if it's mostly fueled by curiosity? probably, AFAB Reader with GN Pronouns, alien anatomy discussions

"You know, humans are being much more hygienic than Sentinel says they are being."

You rolled your eyes, hefting your small duffel bag further up your shoulder. "Yeah, well Sentinel doesn't know as much about humans as he thinks he does. Most people I know shower every other day at the very least. We aren't big fans of being dirty."

"But now you are being extra dirty!" Jetstorm loomed over you with a cheeky grin, running a huge metal digit over the top of your head. A slick of motor oil came with it, sending another disgusted shiver down your spine at the gooey sensation. "Bumblebee maybe needs to working on power steering! And not splashing human friends with drinks of celebration."

Being a human liaison representing the city of Detroit on Cybertron was already a job way outside of the normal parameters of your career, and the stress was leaving you pretty wired. But Bumblebee accidentally tipping an oversized can of motor oil off a table and directly onto your head while showing off just had to be the final nail in the coffin. In front of a whole bunch of big important Autobots and everything.

Now you were being flanked on either side by Sentinel Prime's personal squadron (a gig they eagerly volunteered for and a choice both you and Sentinel had little say in) as they showed you to whatever the Cybertronian equivalent of an army base locker room was so you could get cleaned up.

"And motor oil not to be damaging your fluffy organic fibers?" Great, now Jetfire was poking at your greasy hair too. At least he had half a processor to keep his igniters off while he did.

"It's called hair. And it'll only damage it if I leave it in too long. Plus, it's really bad for my skin."

"Good for it not to be doing badness to hair! Yikes for it to be doing badness to skin. So sensitive, little organics. Must be very hard!"

"You're telling me, bud."

"Here! Coming this way." Jetstorm gestured for you to follow him through a tiled doorway. The room beyond looked remarkably similar to the locker room you'd had in high school, though blown up to a cartoonish scale. "We have tiny washrack for mini-bot sizes. Maybe too big for you still, but is better than nothing!"

He wasn't exaggerating, the handles for the mini-bot sized faucets were still a good two or three feet out of your reach.

"Where do you even put your towels? Your soap?" You glanced around but failed to find any bench or wall divot suitably placed for setting your things down. "Is there anywhere I can set my bag?"

"Just be putting bag into subspace! Easy for peasy!" A small compartment popped open on Jetstorm's chest, and from it he procured… a metal scouring pad? A giant one, about the size of a large restaurant platter. If the situation weren't so incredibly absurd already, you might've gotten a chuckle out of the idea of a robot using a Brillo pad as a loofah.

"Yeah, we don't… humans don't have that." You said instead. Because this situation was, in fact, incredibly absurd.

Jetfire and Jetstorm looked at each other, mirrored expressions of visible confusion. Then, they both shrugged.

"Being a human…"

"...Is very difficult!"

"Look, just- can one of you hold it for me? Please?"

"For certain! I will be best at human wash rack supplies holder job! Be counting on me." You dropped your duffel bag into Jetfire's cupped hands and wrenched it open. Grabbing your various bottles of hair product and a large towel from within, you lined them up on the floor along the wall and hopefully just beyond the reach of the shower's spray. But as you moved for the bottom of your shirt to pull it off, you felt the prickle of two pairs of optics staring just a little bit too hard at your body.

"Are you two just gonna… watch me? You can wait outside, you know."

"We are to be protecting you from curious bots! And make sure you do not do the snooping or the wandering off." Jetstorm insisted.

"Are you gonna do that while staring me down? A little privacy, please." Was it ironic to ask for privacy in a locker room? Probably. But most people had the decency not to stare while someone was getting undressed.

Most people. Maybe that sentiment didn't extend to twelve foot tall transforming robot soldiers.

"Staring? Who is doing the staring? Certainly not us goodness bots!"

"No, no! We would never be the staring! Especially not at soft and squishy little human frame!"

Both brothers rushed to cup a servo over their optics, continuously asserting their supposed innocence all the while. You sighed, peeling your way out of your slick and permanently stained clothes and letting them fall to the ground in an oily heap.

"Well I don't know how it is on Cybertron, but on Earth staring at people in the locker room is what we call 'bad manners.' You two ever heard of those?"

"We will being so very manners-filled! No staring from us at you, big promise." Jetfire insisted, carefully depositing your bag into his subspace as he brought his other servo up so they were both covering his faceplate.

"Though do not be trying to do the sneaking off while we are look-away! That would be also called 'bad manners.'" Added Jetstorm with a cheeky thumbs-up.

"I'm not going to go sneaking around your base naked, so you don't need to worry about that. Now could one of you get the water for me, please?"

As Jetstorm felt along the wall and cranked the water to partial blast, you swear you heard him ask his brother 'But what is "naked" meaning?' The hiss of the showerhead quickly covered it, though, and you decided you'd rather focus on getting clean before you struggled to explain the foreign concept to the pair of ridiculous twins. The water ran just hot enough to make your skin tingle as you lathered your hair with shampoo, vigorously scrubbing the motor oil free from your scalp. It'd probably take more than a few rinses to get everything out, you'd have to ask Professor Sumdac to bridge you some more toiletries way sooner than you'd originally planned. Maybe Sari could pick some up for you on her next trip home?

But as you lathered your hair up for the fourth (maybe fifth?) time, you couldn't help but notice a quiet, metallic buzzing that could just barely be heard over the hiss of water. It paused and fizzed in a rhythmic pattern, not all too dissimilar from Morse Code. It would stop for a moment, before picking up again, slightly lower pitched this time. It sounded almost like… a conversation.

"If you've got something to say, you can say it out loud." You called them out. Jetfire startled at the sound of your voice, his own sounding slightly strained.

"What? But we are such quiet being!"

"You're doing that… that 'EM field' thing. Where you talk to each other with your brains? I've heard Bee and Bulkhead do it before. So, c'mon. What do you want to know?"

He clammed up, absentmindedly scuffing one of his pedes against the tiled floor. Jetstorm, meanwhile, had a sly grin growing across his faceplate. He raised his free servo up in the air like a student waiting to be called on.

"Actually, Jetfire is having a question!"

"I-I am not! Do not listen, brother is merely making funny joke!"

"No, no! Do not listen to him! Jetfire is very, very curious about human not having sp-MRMPH!"

A cacophony of metal on metal echoed through the wash racks as Jetfire tackled his brother to the wet tile, wrestling his servos over the other's intake to keep him quiet. Jetstorm grabbed for his brother's goggles and pulled him into a shaky headlock, even as Jetfire repeatedly kicked him in the knees with the flat of his pede. You scrambled to grab your towel, clutching it to your front as the two bots collapsed to the ground in an ear-splitting crash.

"Hey, HEY! Quit it! What the hell are you two doing?!"

Both of their heads snapped up at your tone, Jetstorm still looking mischievous while his brother had the decency to look a bit sheepish. He quickly pried Jetfire's servo off of his intake.

"Jetfire is wanting to know why humans do not have spike! You know, since he was doing the peeking."

"Y-You were also doing peeking! I know you were curious too!" Jetfire shot back.

"Maybe curious, yes, but you are obsessed! 'Oh, little humans are so soft and so squishy being! Why so warm? I want to be holding one!'"

"I am not sounding like that! You are making exaggeration!"

Jetfire seemed on the verge of tackling his brother again, so you quickly stepped in. "Okay, geez, look. I will answer one, ONE! Question each. And only if you stop hitting each other. That's it. I don't have the energy for this today."

The two bots awkwardly clambered back to their feet, Jetstorm looking down at you with a playful grin while Jetfire seemed to be looking anywhere but your unclothed frame.

"Brotherrrrr?" Jetstorm teased. "Would you like to be going first?"

Jetfire dignified his brother's teasing with a sharp elbow to the side, but spoke anyway. "S-Sorry to be peeking when you said not, but, um, do humans not have- uh, not have spike? Or is it hidden? Maybe not pressurized? If embarrassing you don't have to say. No biggee."

You furrowed your brow. 'Spike.' You don't think you'd heard any of the Autobots use that term before, at least not around you. Maybe it was a built-in weapon? Or some sort of specialized armor plating?

"I, uh, I don't know what a spike is. Sorry. Can you be… more specific?"

Jetfire let out a high-pitched sound, similar to heat escaping a tea kettle, while his brother only seemed to beam even brighter at his humiliated suffering.

"Ah, you know! Spike!" Jetstorm grinned. "Right here, above valve? Comes out like 'fssshh'? No modesty panel on you, so maybe just hidden away!" He made a bunch of vague motions in front of his crotch, and with a looming horror you started to catch on as he mimed the motion of something growing and rising up in front of his crotch plate. His modesty panel.

Holy shit they had robot dicks.

"N-No? No, I don't have a- a spike." You were doing your absolute best to stay focused on the conversation at hand, not think about… about the robot penis that apparently all Cybertronians had? "Humans, uh, most humans just have one or the other. The, um, the spike or the… the…"

"Valve?" Jetstorm happily supplied.

"Sure? I guess?!"

"Something new to be learned every day! Right, brother?" Jetstorm thumped his brother on the back with an open servo, while Jetfire was openly refusing to make eye contact with you. The temperature in the room seemed to peak by a few degrees, and based on the heat waves rolling off of Jetfire's body you had an inkling suspicion it was his doing, however unintentional it may be. "Anyways, my turn, yes? You said word 'naked'. What is 'naked' meaning?"

"Uh, y-yeah. Um, yeah. Sure." God, you did not have the mental fortitude to deal with these revelations today. "Naked just means you're not… covered up? Wearing clothes. There are some parts on a human that have to be covered in public, otherwise it's uh… inappropriate." Your only solace was that now you had some sort of comparison to make between Cybertronians and humans. "Like, you guys wouldn't walk around with your… your spike out? Same for humans."

"Ohhh…" They even had stunned realizations in unison. You'd almost consider it cute, if you weren't already so burnt-out.

"Yep, well, class is over. Can I please get dressed now? Preferably without being watched?"

"A-Ah! Yes, of course! So sorry! Here is things." Jetfire quickly fumbled your duffel out of his subspace, only for it to slip through his digits and hit the floor with a thud. Wincing, he turned to shove his brother from the room, calling over his shoulder to you as they went. "We will be watching door so no bots do peeking! Then there is no way we be seeing you naked, not even little bit! Seeing you in moment- but not naked! Just normal seeing!"

"O-Okay? I'll be out in… a bit." But they were already gone. Weird. Weird couple of bots. But hey, at least now you could dry your hair in peace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Very bumpy landing, brother." Jetstorm couldn't fight his mirthful grin as he stared down at his spark-twin, who was currently sitting with his back to the wall outside the wash racks, knee-joints pulled up tight to his chassis and faceplate hidden from view. "I may not be seeing exact same appeal you do, but humans are verrrrrry entertaining being. That human especially so!"

"I wish to be offline." Jetfire lamented. "So awkward, very very uncool. They will never be speaking to me again."

"Do not be so downer, brother! They answer questions very nice, and do not even yell when you peeking at their array!"

Jetfire let out another pathetic wail. "Do not be reminding me! Me, caught peeking? Would rather scrub every rivet on Omega Supreme than be that embarrassing again." He slammed his helm against the tops of his knee-joints a few times for good measure, a loud, echoing clanking reverberating down the hall. "Why are little humans being so soft? A-And when covering self, why are little peeks of soft bits around towel so- so erotic?"

Jetstorm cackled, patting his brother atop the helm with his servo. "And to think, we thought being human is hard. Sounds like liking human is much, much harder!"

#transformers #transformers x reader #transformers imagines #transformers jetfire #transformers jetstorm #tfa jetfire #tfa jetstorm #long post #my writing #maccadam #i love these doofy robots and their doofy accents so much #you have no idea how much fun they are to write dialogue for #sorry this isnt smut but i PROMISE there's more smut stuff on the way

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niqhtlord01 · 11 months

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Humans are weird: Renaissance Faire

Alien: Where are we going and why is there a sack over my head?

Human: I told you. Human: Our time traveling technology is top secret and we just can’t let anyone see it. Alien: I still call Hush-dush on your claim of time traveling- Human: *Removes sack* Human: Welcome, to the 1300’s of human society! Alien: *Sees surroundings and gawks* ---------------------------

Human: Mace or morning star? Alien: BOTH! ------------------------

Alien: Why do your people dress in metal clothing? Human: It’s called armor and meant to protect us. Alien: Protect you from what? Human: *Points* From that. Alien: *Turns to see another armored human approaching someone from behind and then wailing on them with mace* Alien: Does that happen often? Human: Often enough my friend. ----------------------------

*Pair sit down at table* Human: *shouts at bar keep* Two muttons and ales for us. Alien: What the florp is “Mutton”? Human: *Whispers* I have no idea. --------------------------

Alien: I think I see other human time travelers. Human: What? Alien: Yes. Alien: They carried scanning equipment and were talking into communicators. Human: Oh god damnit. Alien: You know them? Human: Yeah; they’re a bunch of nerds following a prime directive to kill fun. ---------------------------

Alien: So the purpose of the sport is to ride atop beasts and try to knock your opponent off with a wooden toothpick? Human: Pretty much. Alien: That must be the stupidest sport I have ever seen. *silence* *Silence* *silence* Human: You want to join in don’t you? Alien: Yes please, very much. --------------------------

Alien: Where are the fire breathing flying lizard creatures? Human: You mean dragons? Alien: Yes, those things. Human: *Thinking fast* Human: We wiped them all out in 1100, so you won’t see any here. Alien: Darn. *Giant mechanical dragon slowly passes by breathing fire* Human: Oh no…. a survivor! -----------------------------

Alien: Who are these brightly dressed creatures? Human: Fairies, faye, goblins, trolls, etc. Alien: Why didn’t I see any of them in the future? Human: Yeah, after the Disney hunts of 83 nearly all mythical creatures were driven to extinction. -----------------------------

Human: Crossbow or regular bow? Alien with four arms: BOTH! -----------------------------

Human: Here, I bought you some clothes to disguise yourself in. Human: *Hands over clothes* Alien: Why are my clothes for a female? Human: Aren’t you one? Alien: No. Alien: Can you not tell? Human: No but that’s a good thing. Human: Most people in this time period can’t either. ------------------------------

Alien: Why do your people of this time speak so poetically? Human: Our language was more wordy back then. Alien: Think you mean more eloquent. Human: Shut up you scrub. -------------------

Human: Sword or dagger? Alien: Bo- Human: You can’t have both! Human: It doesn’t work that way, just pick! Alien: *Pauses* Alien: I pick dog armor. Human: ……….. Human: Why? Alien: It is covered in spikes and more dangerous than half the weapons I have seen today.

#HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #funny #renaissance faire #writing #original writing #niqhtlord01

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cock-holliday · 6 months

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I know we are begging for scraps and the context is not…quite the same but I cannot express how fucking cool it is that Gen V has a bigender character and that that word has been said multiple times aloud.

For those who don’t watch, Gen V is a spinoff from The Boys, one of those big-critiques-on-superheroes shows. It’s set in an American college and the characters are very heavy metaphors for a bunch of the pressures pushed on that demographic: football/legacy athletes, grooming young adults for specific industries, parents who have kids with the intent of them being a cash cow for them, eating disorders, self harm, kids from rough backgrounds being exploited as a sob story or pushed to be a weapon. It comes with like a million potentially triggering situations and a wild amount of gore so look into the warnings more, but I would really recommend the show.

On the show one of the characters has a few different powers, and one of them is the ability to gender-swap and is then played by two different actors. They most frequently go by they/them, the show refers to them a few times as bigender, and while it could be another time we grasp for straws in characters like robots or aliens or what have you, the show actually does get into bigender-related issues!

It deals with parental expectations, it deals with the struggle of expressing attraction and wondering which side of you the person wants (because it can’t be both, can it?), and it goes into an unexpected territory of: if the switch was a choice, does that still make it authentic?

I’ve heard so much about how being gay or queer or trans isn’t a choice for people, and that’s fine if it isn’t, but the assumption that everyone feels that way reinforces the idea we are prisoners to our identity and given the choice we would not choose to be this way. But I would. Many would.

They do.

I’ve joked for a long time about how trans folks love shapeshifter powers, but this is the first I’ve ever seen shapeshifting as a plot device BE about queerness, not as a distant headcanon by fans, or even a quiet ‘yeah it can be queer if you want it to be’ by creators, but as a textual actual bigender character.

That kicks ass!

#gen v #jordan li #lgbt characters #bigender #nonbinary character

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astraltrickster · 1 month

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I feel there's a disconnect between trends in kids' and teenagers' interests and skills as analyzed and reported by teachers and other people who work with kids and teenagers extensively, how those reports are read by adults who DON'T work with kids and teenagers other than perhaps their own, and how those reports are interpreted by the kids and teenagers.

I can't help but suspect that this is a major factor at the core of the perennial problem of generational disconnect.

For example, let's look at the declining rate of casual PC usage and basic PC skills.

What a teacher might say: "I teach a high school class using xyz computer software and it's worrying me that over the last several years, out of every class, there have been at least a small handful of students who don't know how folders work, or how to use a physical keyboard, or who send cell phone photos of their screens as "screenshots", and hell, some don't even know the difference between a laptop and a desktop computer. This wasn't nearly as common ~10 years ago. The system for the years before mine used to teach more of the basics, and now I'm seeing evidence that just expecting people to get it on their own isn't working, and that's a problem."

The reality that this statement is about: A decline from a basic computer literacy rate of (just as an example, absolutely not to be taken as an objective fact) 90% to 80% and even sharper at intermediate to advanced levels, starting with the most underprivileged, in a world where PC usage is still critical for a huge chunk of the professional world, is a VERY bad sign. It represents technical knowledge becoming more and more of a class divider, in a way that has the potential to snowball. We're still in early stages, and it's FAR from being the fault of the ~10% of kids who would have been taught computer basics if they'd been born 10-15 years prior, but it IS real and it shows that we need to make formal classes in PC basics more normal and accessible again, instead of just expecting people to pick it up by osmosis, because that experiment isn't working.

What entirely too many adults hear: Generations Z and alpha are stupid spoiled idiots about technology who don't know computer, they only know how to app store, TikTok, selfie, eat hot chip, and lie! Which is their own fault, obviously. If they just paid attention to their teachers instead of Instagram and Twitter everything would be fine!

What teenagers hear: Man, adults just loooove to look at the teenagers who are doing the worst and make shit up about the downfall of society or whatever, meanwhile all my friends and I know how to use a computer, the only problem is a bunch of old fuddy-duddies talking shit about how back in their day they had to walk 15 miles in the snow uphill both ways just to go to the bathroom, AGAIN.

Because it's hard to see the a pattern like this, especially in fairly early stages, as a matter of statistics. Humans kind of suck at intuiting statistics. We want hard and fast rules. As far as our brains often see it, anything with a probability over 50% is a certainty; anything under 50% is an impossibility. If you're in a room of 10 people, and you ask who doesn't know the basics of a computer, it won't make much difference whether one person raises their hand, or two - either way, if you throw a paper ball at a random person, you're far more likely to hit someone who can install a program than someone who can't. Meanwhile, if you ask all the people in several of those 10-person groups who raised their hands to go to another room, and you see twice as many people as 5 years ago, it's easy to think that NO ONE knows how to use a computer anymore. Whichever side you look at, it's black and white. Either nearly everyone knows how to use a computer, or nearly no one does; it's black and white. Easy numbers. Comfortable.

So far distorted from the realities that created the numbers that it might as well be from an alien planet.

And thus, not only do a lot of people end up not seeing the problem for what it is, but people just end up having pointless fights over which of those black-and-white views is correct, because according to immediate intuitive monkey-brain, it CAN'T be somewhere in the middle. It's very hard to truly, deeply recognize the fact that "most young people still have basic computer literacy" and "the number of young people who DON'T have the skills they need to compete in a tech-oriented professional world is increasing at an alarming rate" can both be true statements at the same time.

Now let's just ask ourselves, how many OTHER trends and shifts across generations have we fallen into the trap of talking about like this?

#tech #the digital native myth #tag later #serious tag

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gayerthanevertbh · 2 years

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not your regular redhead.

pairings | beefy!dark!natasha x fem!reader

summary | you and natasha are unfortunately alone for the whole day. you didn’t expect her to become a whole new person once she finally gets to touch you.

warnings | smut, dark/taboo themes - 18+ YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! non-con/dub-con, perverted acts, voyeurism, manipulation (slight), mentions of drugs, rough sex, strap-on sex, breeding kink, degradation, slight innocent!reader, stroking, mentions of hurting, and more.

notes | so remember when i said endgame!nat has a breeding kink? yeah... anyway- this was so hot to write. i hope you enjoy! i will continue to write more dark!fics from now on, not just your regular angst writer. :) although that could be both ngl so-

masterlist.

“Steve and the rest are going to have a little trip,” you hear your colleague, Natasha, say with a strain in her voice that sounded loud enough for you to hear – but actually she was murmuring. “If you’d like, you can stay with me. I’m sorry if it’s just the both of us though, Wanda and Carol are gone for a whole month.”

You’d understand why Carol was away, of course, you would. She was always fighting aliens or being in another universe; which utterly concerns you and makes you wonder what is really going on in space. You turned your head over your shoulder and gave her a small smile, then looked back at whatever you were doing on the papers.

“Why the long face?”

If you have to be honest now, you’ve always had a crush on Natasha ever since you arrived at the compound. By her simple appearance, your heart beats faster and rings through your ears. Or even her simple: What are you up to, doll? Gets you digging your toes into your mattress at night. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that you touch yourself whenever you think of her, whenever you hear her having sex with someone else that is literally on the other side of your room. You hear her woman screaming from her touch, her continuous: Please go faster, daddy! Gets you to have an orgasm at night and by that height of pleasure ends, you start to feel guilty about it.

“Nothing.” you dismiss her quickly, twitching your eyes as you place a bunch of paper at the edge of the table near the wall. You can hear her chair squeaking and a couple of steps toward you, your body suddenly faltered and you realize that she is walking toward you.

She breathes slowly and leans against your side, admiring your eyebrows since they’re scrunched. She says simply, “Well, I don’t think that’s nothing if you have your face all weird and stuff.”

Damn it.

“I guess I just don’t want for you to annoy yourself with me since we will be both here for the whole day.”

You hear her chuckle deeply and feel a hand grazing onto the top of your palm, making your body shudder. How would it feel if she had her hands around your waist? Her hands reaching up to your ribs until you’re under her? In her bed? That’s a hopeless dream–

“You look really pretty like that, doll. You could never annoy me.”

You try to smile but it would falter whenever her hands were caressing your baby hands that it was if it’s fragile as you shrug, tucking your feet close to yourself. “Thank you, so do you, Ms. Romanoff.”

“Call me Natasha, silly girl. We don’t have to be civil, you know?”

If you keep talking to me like that, I might as well be on my knees for you.

“Sorry,” you smile at her, then giggle under your breath quietly as you made your way to the nearby kitchen while she was following you from behind. “I still have respect for the ones who save the universe.”

“Respect, huh?” she quirked and leaned against the countertop as soon as you brought out a bag of sandwiches with strawberry jelly that was inside the drawers.

You do have a lot of respect for the woman. She’s the infamous Black Widow, an assassin who could kill you with her skilled tricks and hands. You’re somehow–no, very impressed with her dedication as her role to becoming a superhero and you’re just some intern for Stark. Although your friend, Peter, would tell you that being an intern is a great thing since he was also an intern for Tony.

“Yes,” you meekly say, coating the top of the bread with jelly on the knife. “I do have respect for you.”

The atmosphere thickens when Natasha inches closer to you, which makes you feel like shrinking. You hear her say in her raspy voice: “You sound like a keeper here, pretty. I’d honestly love you if you were my intern.”

Your heart beats again like crazy, just like how it did when you first met her. Just like how it did when she first shook your hand and patted your shoulder, you could feel yourself squirming just from her deep rasp voice and felt it through the skin of your neck. It’s infuriating to even have feelings over a woman who’s probably a decade older than you. It’s just… insane.

She called me pretty.

“I like young girls like you,” she says as if you weren’t in the same room as her, as you watch as her chest heaves and her head tilts toward you. “You’re so fun and so beautiful, so precious and so fucking sexy…”

You burst out a chuckle rather nervously while she explains how much she likes young girls like you until she wasn’t laughing with you. She sounded dead serious, her eyes and her voice said so. You could feel her hand on your arm, squeezing it gently, her face nearing yours. You let go of her touch and quickly say with a stutter, “T–Thank you, Natasha. But, what are you doing?”

“Hm?” she smiles at me innocently, her body getting closer until you are pressed against the edge of the countertop with her hand going high up on your arm, teasing her fingers onto your skin. Your breath hitched when her mouth was close, dangerously close. It’s like within a few inches, she might kiss you. And you want her to, so fucking bad.

“Nat–what’s wrong?” you seem to have consciousness once you try to point out what you're saying, but her hands seem to know where they're going.

“I may have to admit, it took you a while to know how much I like you,” she purs to your neck, giving your skin one peck before she could smell you heavily, moaning underneath her breath once she finally could sense your power getting weaker. That was the whole point. “How much I want you, how much I want to fuck you…”

“Maybe we should–Oh god,” you squealed when her hand was pressing gently against your lower stomach, easing herself between your legs. She looked at you with hooded and mischievous eyes that spoke of sexual thoughts. She was like an animal, and you were her prey. her feed. You whispered, “Maybe we should stop.”

She smiles at you but then continues to kiss your neck, then slowly to your collarbone and flicks the tip of her tongue onto your bone while her hands are grazing in your inner bare thighs. You pushed her away with your hands on her stomach softly, looking terrified by your action. But this didn’t stop her, in fact, it thrilled her to keep going.

“No one’s here baby,” she coos, your mouth watering from her warm touch on your bare thighs that are inching close to your core. Your untouched cunt. “Just you and me, I’ll take good care of you.”

“Oh but–I don’t really like this…” lies. You do like it, you really really like it. The thought of her just pushing you around and her hand all over your neck just makes you euphoric, like high on drugs. But you also have this feeling of fear because you don’t really know her intentions.

“You’ll grow to like it,” Natasha growls deeply and shoves you back a little until your legs are spread wide, your cunt dripping from her hot erotic voice. She licks your jaw and slowly brings her lips to yours. You were in complete shock. You didn’t know how to move your lips, it’s not like it was the first time you kissed women. But this is the second time that this has happened to you. She was skillful with her lips, moaning to herself when her tongue was shoved slowly inside your mouth, her hand cupping your right jaw. Fuck, this felt too unhinged.

She pulls away with her teeth sunk onto your lower lip, making you mewl. Then, she lets go with her tongue flicking to your upper lip and whispers, “I’ve been wanting to do that ever since you’ve arrived. I’ve watched you from afar, doing your silly exercise, maybe when you were taking a shower, and god. I just want to say that you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen, and I want to ruin you.”

You were surprised that your eyes widen in response to her confession, and your stomach goes tingly as well as your swelling clit. She gives you a smirk and rakes her fingers to the hem of your gray shirt, pulling it upwards, but you molded your hands with her as you tried to stop her actions; afraid enough that it’ll go to another level – and maybe you’d like that.

“Tasha, wait–please, I don’t really think it’s appropriate–”

“I don’t like bad girls, sweetheart. You’re so silly,” echoes Natasha’s sultry voice, kissing your lips again so that whatever you’re about to say will be muffled by her tongue and her lips. God, you were painfully addicted. You let her discard your shirt and were shocked when she saw that you weren’t wearing any bra. Make her hips inch closer to your core. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I got to touch these little titties…”

You flutter your eyes close as soon as her palm made contact with your right tit, squeezing it harshly while lifting you up. You wrapped your arms around the older woman until you felt your back being pressed by the cold wood, you assumed that it was the dining table. Your eyes finally open and see Natasha’s chest heaving from the sight of your breasts, the way your stomach clenches when her fingers graze over the soft babe's skin. You tried covering your breasts with your hands but were pushed down and you could see the darkness in Natasha’s eyes.

“Did I say you could cover them, little baby?” her voice was on edge, but the seduction was still brightly there. You shook your head in response, but you really did want to cover them since you felt intimidated by her hands and her eyes being beholden to your inexperienced breasts. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll make your pretty headrest. Just gotta be good for me, okay? Oh, I love you already. I think I’m in love with you…”

You don’t know if she was exaggerating because of the high that she was feeling, but your heart aches with how vocal she was with you. How she can speak to you with dominance and care, but god you just want her to use you like some toy. You wanted it all.

“I…” you opened your lips, but you had nothing to say once you saw the way she kissed your belly button, her eyes closed. But then, her head lifts up and says: “Be quiet slut. I told you I don’t like bad girls.”

She continues to remove your pink shorts until your white cotton panties are exposed, immediately trying to cover it with your legs but she was in the way. And when she was doing that action, her face changed into something demeanor. You didn’t expect her to slap your inner thigh that you yelped in pain. “What the fuck did I just say, hm? If you disobey me again, I will thank you. I bet you look so beautiful when you’re all spanked, all dirty, and fuckable.” her voice was threatening, and it made you wetter until your cunt was drooling with juices.

She cups your left breast and curses Fuck underneath her breath, and continues to squeeze it lightly – possibly teasing you. She brings her thumb and her pointer finger to your nipple and tweaks it, making your eyes form warm tears. She smiles at you and chastises, “You like that, baby girl? Do you like me when I do this? God, you look even prettier when I’m above you. All helpless, I love it.”

“Please–I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Tasha… I don’t know what you want. But I really want you to touch me, I want it all!”

She makes a tsk sound twice and leans her upper torso closer to yours, her mouth above your lips. “I want to hurt you, baby. You can’t tell me what to do,” you flinched in pain when you felt her hand spanking above your covered cunt. “You want me to fucking hurt you again? I can be nice, you know. Just be a perfect cock-slut.”

You watch intently as she pulls down her black jogging pants, revealing a purple strap-on that was thick and girthy, and pretty long too. But you couldn’t see it from that angle, so you assumed that it was big. She quips, “It’s big, right? I know that little pussy is so small, that I’d want to crack it open. Don’t tell me you’re not a virgin.” her voice was demanding now, channeling you to whimper quietly under your breath. You were not a virgin, it was taken with a girl when you were still in high school. So, you shake your head sideways and you watch as her face clenches in anger; it fears you yet it makes you desperately wet.

“I’m the only one who gets to touch you, to own you! No one,” she spanks my thighs again and I screamed, covering my mouth with my hand as she continuously spank it twice or thrice, you can’t even count anymore. “I mean no one touches what’s mine. Who fucked you, hm? I bet it was some inexperienced person, I’d never let them touch you again. You’re mine, do you understand me?”

“Yes,” you responded with a small voice, gulping when you saw her eyes darkening even more than it's possibly black. “I’m sorry–no one will touch me again.”

She pulls your panties down roughly and gasps when she finally sees your cunt, which made you wonder why she was so shocked when she saw you taking a shower. Perhaps that was a different angle. She whispers dreamily, “You have the prettiest pussy… I can’t wait to ruin it, look how it’s dripping with your juices. I know you want this as much as I do, little bitch.”

It’s like you could see how her mouth salivates, inching her head closer to your cunt and bringing her nose upwards to your folds, making you clench your legs close. She pushes them away immediately and continues to penetrate your pussy with her nose, her eyes deeply closed with focus.

“I bet you like it rough,” she murmurs with a deep voice and stands up again, pushing you further to the table until you can feel your thighs being pressed against hers. Her hand is holding your neck gently – but squeezing it. “This thick cock will remind you how important your virginity is to me.”

Natasha brings her other hand to her strap, spitting onto it, and moved her hands up and down to lather all the saliva on her cock. If you have to admit, you like the sight. It makes your cunt clench, your clit tingling with sensitivity. She licks her lips and drags the tip of her cock to your folds, her eyes fixated on you while she does so. “Come on baby, speak up. Don’t be afraid, I’m here to take care of you. Remember?”

You were so enticed with the sight of her jerking herself off, the fat tip nearing your hole as her pants were getting heavier by each second. You were moaning continuously now, you can’t help it when you watch the way Natasha is inching the tip closer to your hole. She looks back up at you and gives you a gentle smile, but there’s a devil inside it.

“Do you think that’s too big?” you quipped, but rather laughed it off nervously. She shakes her head like it was as if she’s dumbfounded by the sight of your vagina and speaks to you deeply, “It’ll fit in.”

“But it won’t, I’m scared!”

“I can’t help it anymore, baby… I gotta push it in,” she whines, but her voice is husky. She stops touching herself and brings the fat tip on your hole, she leans her face closer to you until you are millimeters apart and without even one second – she pushes in without permission.

“Ow! Stop!” you tried pushing her shoulders away, but in reality, you didn’t want her to stop. You wanted her to keep going, to keep ruining you. And maybe you’re a pathetic whore because of it. She was fond of your response to her cock sheathing itself inside of you and whispers cooingly but with an urge, “Shhh, it’s okay baby… See? You’re almost there silly, quiet now. Gonna make you feel so good…”

Natasha’s cock sheathes inside of you fully and it did sting for a bit, even now. You had your hands on her back but were afraid enough that you might hurt her. So you decided to hold onto her biceps, which felt muscly and soft. “Fuck,” she groans. “You’re gripping me so tightly. I could feel it… You’re still this tight, huh? You are a fucking whore.”

She shallowly thrusts into you with a kind smile on her face, but you know that’s no kind smile. It was the smile of a perverted woman who has been spying on you ever since you got here. Although you enjoy the feeling, you like it so much that you’re producing more juices than you ever did. She pulls out but the tip was only inside of you, her hand bringing back to her thick length and pushing back in again; making you scream into her neck.

“Oh god, please! Tasha, it really hurts.” it didn’t hurt much. You just didn’t want to disappoint her since she liked you tightly. But you honestly were tight, you weren’t sexually active until now. She pulls out again and shoves her cock back inside of you. Fucking you without permission – Fucking you without mercy.

Her hand gropes onto your right breast and chuckles bitterly, “You like it when I do this, don’t you big girl? Are you my big girl?” you nod at her words frantically while her other hand is in your throat. “You’re just my little slut, my beautiful little slut. I love you so much, I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

You don’t know whether she’s hurting you or not, but you didn’t focus on that. You focus on how much her cock drives inside your pussy relentlessly with a squelching sound that made so much noise; it almost sounds pornographic. She shoves her dick inside of you even more until both of your hips are touching.

“Look at that,” she chuckles again and admires how completely she’s bottomed out. She quickly takes off her tank top along with her sports bra, your eyes widened with her nipples prodding out. She catches your eyes and smirks at you. “You like the sight, don’t you? And you’re going to see it more once you let me in you.”

The lower pit of your stomach starts to churn, knowing that you’re about to cum. Natasha notices how you stay quiet while she rapidly pounds into you, her breath ragging onto your face. She brings her thumb to your clit and pushes it down; your body jolts as your hand tries to push her shoulder again. “That fucking hurts!”

“Do not fucking curse at me!” she demanded, her eyes widening as her hand cups your jaw tightly. It makes you squeal in pain and pleasure as she continues to thrust into you upwardly, her abs flexing with each thrust. “That’s right, you better shut the fuck up Y/N. I hate that mouth of yours, I kind of want to also ruin it.”

Your moans turn into a higher pitch that you’ve never made as her thumb continues to rub on your nub clit, her eyes onto your unshaved cunt. She snaps her hips into you, making the table shake beneath you as she whispers to your ear: “Gonna fill you up, baby. Gonna give you my babies, yeah? Do you want that? Hmm?”

Was it possible for her to cum inside of you? Surely not, maybe it was just an artificial cum that she had. So you shake your head, having your eyes closed still as you let the sensation keep penetrating you. She spanks your left cheek lightly, “Answer me, dumb slut.”

“Yes! Please, make me cum–give me your babies, please! I want it so bad…” you begged, bringing your hands above your head. Both of your breasts were now shaking from her thrusting, and Natasha’s eyes rolled back to her skull once she heard you begging with that tone of yours. “Please make me cum, Tasha. I’ll be your good slut, I’ll be so good baby… Come on, give me your babies.”

“I’m going to give it baby, cum for me. Come on, cum around my fat cock…” you hug her tightly as her head buried into your neck, biting onto the skin once you finally release the climax you’ve been waiting for. White dots start to fill up in your eyes as you hear Natasha’s desperate moanings into your skin, her hips still moving but slowly. You could feel the fake cum gushing inside of you, which made you come on her faux dick once more. It’s like she could feel it, she could feel everything you felt.

She pulls away from your neck and smiles down at you. Without warning, she pulled her cock out of your hole and was in awe with how much of her cum filled your pussy that it was oozing out slowly, making her bring the tip to play with it. She brings the fat tip to your hole and then to your folds, gathers her cum to yours, and squeezes your left breast with a mumble: “I can’t wait to ruin you even more once we explore each other, you know I like some good blow jobs. I know I can’t feel it, but the sight of you just makes me want to thrust my cock inside of your throat. Wouldn’t you be a babe for me, doll?”

“I’ll give you everything you want,” you slurred your words as you panted beneath her, her eyes glued to your heaving chest. You were never fucked like that, never once. You wonder if you’d give Natasha the same treatment, but she once said with all of you gathering that she doesn’t like any toy inside of her; which made you think about it now. The older woman smiles devilishly at you and kisses your lips again, this time more passionate and less dominating.

“Then some good pussy licking would do the case, baby.”

omg thoughts? DASDKLASKDL

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #dark natasha #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha angst #dark!natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #black widow x you #dark!natasha #a's oneshots!

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shatterinseconds · 4 months

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Hoverbike

Inspired by @froopa-coopa’s art from a few months ago

After three years stuck in space, and another two roaming the galaxy leading the Blade of Marmora on relief missions, Keith’s hoverbike fell into major disrepair. The hot desert air and sand gunked the machine enough for it to spit black fumes when Keith tried to kickstart it again. That had been a week ago, where after visiting Lance’s family in Cuba for a month they decided to head to Keith’s shack for some needed alone time, but the new parts finally arrived, and Lance was unfortunately jostled awake way too early in the morning to “help.”

He sits cross legged on top of the hoverbike while Keith works underneath. They trade short conversations back and forth, mostly Lance guiding them. But a large part is spent in silence, knowing that the other is there in close range being enough for them. Lance doesn’t mind. He gets to enjoy the warm sun on face and think of his family and realize how glad he is to be back on Earth for an indefinite stay this time.

Keith slides out with grease smeared on his cheek and hair bunched up from welding goggles. It’s a super cute look. Too bad Lance’s phone is charging inside. Keith stretches up his hand above, waving it around a bit, wordlessly.

“What do you want, Mullet?” Lance leans forward, bracing his hands on the leather seat so he doesn’t fall off accidentally.

“Over there. Tool box,” Keith finally uses his words, a bit exasperated, which causes Lance to roll his eyes. It’s not Lance’s fault they never met an alien race that could grant them mind reading powers—which would have been so cool.

Instead, he mumbles, “I don’t speak mechanic.” But he still digs around in the tool box, having a vague idea after watching Hunk for years and Keith more recently. A note of triumph echoes in the back of his throat as he finds the potential tool. “This?” he asks as he leans over the bike, Spiderman style, staring at Keith upside down. He holds out what he thinks is a screwdriver but with an odd shaped head.

“Yeah.” Keith grabs the screwdriver without so much as an ounce of gratitude but Lance doesn’t care. He huffs a laugh until Keith pops back out, remembering himself. “Thanks.”

Lance grins and taps his lips. “You forgot something else.”

“I smell like motor oil. You don’t want a kiss.”

“I always want a kiss, Mullet,” Lance says with ease. His smile grows, almost starting to stretch wide enough to hurt. “If I can soldier through your bad morning breath, I can handle this.”

Keith grumbles something unintelligible but sits up enough that he and Lance are mere inches away now. “You have the bad morning breath,” he mumbles as he pulls Lance towards him. A grimy hand gently cups his face. The smell of sweat, hard work, and engine grease scratch the inside of Lance’s nose. And yet, it’s in his top five of Keith kisses—right up there with their first kiss, their post-sex kisses, and that time Keith caught him by surprise during a Coalition banquet because jealousy had started to get the better of him.

Lance digs his hands into Keith’s tangled hair, pushing back the goggles, and deepens the kiss. Keith’s free hand slides to Lance’s waist, stabilizing him so they don’t both crash to the ground. Every place Keith touches buzzes from the warm contact. Those fingerless gloves brush over a smooth patch of skin, exposed by his shirt falling forward and catching under his armpits. Keith pulls on his lower lip before separating, biting down in a way that causes Lance to mutter a curse and for Keith to break out into a pleased grin.

“See,” Lance says as he knocks his forehead against Keith’s. His chest heaves from the lack of air. Keith always makes him breathless, quite literally most of the time. “You almost missed out on that.”

Shaking his head, Keith laughs. “I’m glad I didn’t.” He pecks Lance’s lips one more time before he disappears under the bike again and Lance returns to lying on top, very content.

#klance #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #klance fic #keith x lance #my writing #starting your year off with klance!

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inbarfink · 5 months

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I mean, at the end of the day, technically almost every single Zim Vs. Dib episode is an embarrassment to Zim. Because Zim is a full-grown probably-centuries-old highly-trained-(former)-elite-alien-soldier armed with superior technology. The fact that he considers this Literal Child to be a threat to his plans would actually be extremely humiliating if Zim could ever admit the reality of the situation. Both in the cases that he’s right (cause having a child, even one with partial access to whatever-passes-for-advanced-technology on this planet be your worthy opponent is Extremely Lame) and in the cases that he’s wrong (because in those cases Zim just wasted a whole bunch of his resources - including a pimple with hypnotic powers, an all-powerful mini-mech and perfect virtual reality and a literal goddam time machine - on a 12 year old that no one listens to anyways)

I mean, jeez, how many times has Dib technically saved the Earth - not by stopping Zim’s latest scheme - but by being the target of it? Making Zim waste resources that should’ve gone into weakening Earth’s defenses or targeting its leaders and instead channeling all of that technology and Zim’s general malice and mayhem at this sixth grader? Again, Zim developed temporary hypnotic powers and wasted them on getting Dib to identify a flaw in his security system that he found. So while Dib technically lost that one battle against Zim…

He also kinda indirectly saved the world from a Zim who would use Pustulio’s Power for literally any other more useful purpose.

But, of course, if Dib could ever come to that revelation - he would absolutely hate it. Dib wants to be the cool hero who saves the world from a dangerous alien invasion via his wits and brainpower

Not the useful distraction that keeps Zim too occupied with one-upping him to actually be a credible threat to Earth. That would be very bad to his ego.

‘Enter the Florpus’ is kind of a great demonstration of that whole thing, actually. Because Dib claims to be ‘all that stands between Zim, and the annihilation of our world’ and despite ‘Florpus’ being kind of a more traditional heroic narrative for Dib - that still couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Because despite Dib being undisputedly the main character of ‘Enter the Florpus’, pretty every major action taken to foil Zim’s plan in the movie was performed by another member of Team Membrane

Such as Gaz

And Tak’s Ship

And Professor Membrane

And even Clembrane

And the most useful thing Dib actually did himself in that whole movie? Chase Zim for a bit

That whole chase scene had them basically equally-matched for the whole of it, Dib didn't really get any closer to getting his hands on Minimoose and then he pretty thoroughly lost (before his dad came over to save his butt)

But you know, that was still probably an invaluable part of Zim’s defeat. Because Dib chasing Zim around for a bit was a distraction preventing him from somehow making things worse before Professor Membrane and Gaz and the other Competent People could come over to actually stop him.

Dib wasting time and then getting his ass kicked was so vital to Zim’s defeat and the salvation of the Earth - but he’d probably die from despair and embarrassment if he ever had to truly confront that fact.

#invader zim #iz #enter the florpus #etf #iz etf #invader zim etf #zim #zim iz #iz zim #zim invader zim #invader zim zim #dib membrane #iz dib #dib #dib iz #dib invader zim #invader zim dib #etf dib #iz analysis

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abarbaricyalp · 4 months

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👽🐈🚀

What Happiness Is

Sam was still getting settled on the bed when he answered the facetime call, so Bucky just let himself look at all the shaky cam footage of his broad chest--a bruise along one pectoral that Bucky would have to ask about--and his slightly grown out beard and the long curl of his lashes when the phone was suddenly right next to his face.

It was late in Louisiana--later in New York--and Sam seemed to have already turned off most of the lights. He was bathed in the pretty amber of the bedside lamp light they'd spent four hours looking for one day. At the time, Bucky had not appreciated Sam's insistence that they try out every. single. lamp. until they found the exact color tone they could both stand. Right now, he really really really appreciated it.

"Heard you got called out to something today," Sam greeted.

Bucky tore his eyes away from the curve of Sam's neck and shoulder to look at his face again. "You will not believe what it was," he groaned.

Sam grinned at him and Bucky's heart just about catapulted out of his chest. "Crashed spaceship, right?"

"Escape pod, yeah. It was ours. Something from SABER. Fury was on it."

"Fury was on it?!" Sam laughed. He shifted in the bed, fixed a pillow behind his back, and then folded an arm behind his head to lean back on. "Tell me more right now."

Bucky waited, because he now had to map out all of the musculature in Sam's arm. "God, I wish I was there with you," he groaned softly. "I miss our bed."

"Buck, focus," Sam ordered, though there was a pleased smile on his face. Bucky wanted to keep it there forever. "Fury crash landed in Central Park."

"Yeah. They asked me to go before they knew exactly what was going on, just that a SABER craft was rocketing back into the atmosphere. I still got there after the crash."

Sam nodded encouragingly. He used to tease Bucky that he told stories the way he filled out incident reports, but the teasing had eased once he learned how boring a verbose story could be instead. ("I know you can tell good stories," he'd said once. "You entertain the kids no problem." But it just wasn't the same, Bucky had argued. Sam always knew the truth and the truth was half as interesting.)

"So, anyway, I get there. Things are still smoldering. SHIELD is gonna have to pay another million dollars for the clean up. There are a few people around. And everyone is just kind of...wet?"

"Wet?" Sam asked, amused. Bucky was still in one piece and there seemed to be no indication of illness or hurt, so whatever caused the wetness was more interesting than worrying.

"Yeah. And there were a thousand cats around. Kittens, actually."

Sam's brow furrowed, but he was still grinning amiably. "Kittens? Did you adopt one?"

"I'm getting there," Bucky insisted.

"So we definitely have a cat now," Sam surmised.

Bucky waved him off. "Anyway, so there's all these slightly wet scientists, and Fury, and kittens! And then, and then, and then... Sam you are not going to believe this."

"Please do not keep me in suspense any longer," Sam played dramatically.

Bucky grinned at Sam and Sam grinned right back. "Sam. The cats threw up a bunch of Lovecraftian tentacles and more scientists," he said as slowly and calmly as he could.

Sam shot up in the bed and held the phone more firmly. "What?!"

Bucky had known this would delight and intrigue Sam and he was very pleased that it had. He preened as he sank deeper into the corner of the couch. Out of frame, his hand fell to the fuzzball snoozing in his lap.

"Yeah, man," he laughed. For a second, his eyes fell on his own image, tucked away in the corner, as small as it would go because sometimes he hated looking at himself and the smaller that box was, the more he could see of Sam. But, right now, he didn't mind how he looked. All crinkly eyed and happy. Younger and older at the same time. "Apparently there are alien cats out there."

"The world gets stranger every day," Sam sighed. But that lovely grin was still on his face. "What else happened?"

"Well, apparently it was a Captain Marvel thing," Bucky started again.

"You saw Carol?" Sam asked in excitement. The only person in the world who could rival Bucky's enthusiasm over Danvers was probably Sam. Apparently she was an entire celebrity in the Air Force. Bucky had heard no less than a thousand times that Danvers and Rambeau lived in Louisiana and clearly Louisiana produced the best superheroes in the world.

"Nah, she wasn't there. Had to finish the mission, or something. But this girl showed up. Do you remember Jersey City?"

"I try not to think about Jersey City at all," Sam answered, exactly the way Bucky knew he would.

"Remember, a few weeks ago, the Department of Damage Control got called out to Jersey City? It became a whole thing. It was on TV. Those teenagers totally pulled the rug out from under Deever?" Bucky insisted. "You were on call to do a bunch of PR if it got any worse."

Sam thought for a moment, then waved his hand in a so-so kind of way. "I never did have to do anything with it. What about it?"

"It's the girl from that. She's called Ms. Marvel, I guess. I dunno, she mostly talked about me instead of herself."

"You?" Sam snorted. "What could she possibly have to say about you?"

"Man, she had an entire Wikipedia page of information. She asked me things I didn't even remember the answer to."

Sam laughed again. Bucky melted further into the couch. "So, don't keep me in suspense anymore, Barnes," he pressed one more time. "Show me the aliens we own."

First, Bucky flipped the camera around to show the black and white kitten with his spotted face. He was rolling a shiny pom-pom around, batting it to one side of the kitchen and then bounding over it to catch it before it could roll under the cupboards, then doing it the other direction again.

"That one's yours. I've been calling him Oreo, but he doesn't really react to it, so you can name him when you meet him."

"How are you gonna get an alien cat on an airplane?" Sam asked, but Bucky saw through his slightly sarcastic words to his big, gleaming eyes. Sam pretended like he wasn't a big pet person, but he was always the first one to volunteer for pet sitting duty around Delacroix and he fed more strays than Bucky had ever seen in one place. He had a whole circuit he did in the mornings on his run. Took a backpack with food packed in it.

"I'll just drive this time. I have a car, y'know."

"Uh-huh. What makes you think I want an alien cat?"

Bucky shrugged, even though the camera was still faced away from him. "Look at his little face. He's got spots. He's the best," he defended. "And look at this one."

He turned the camera around again and angled it down to show off the white kitten in his lap. "Gotta say, though, I think this one's just a regular cat."

"How can you possibly tell the difference?" Sam asked.

"Well, look at what she does," he said and poked the kitten's shoulder until she lifted her pretty little head and yawned all big like cats did. "Versus what Oreo does--"

He flipped the camera again and found the black and white kitten in the frame. He tossed a bouncy ball over to it. The kitten's eyes got huge as he watched the ball and then, all of a sudden, a dozen tentacles came pouring out of his mouth to catch the ball before it could bounce too far away.

Sam yelped on the other side of the call. "What the hell, Bucky?" he shouted. The kitten in Bucky's lap lifted her head again at the commotion, took stock the situation, and then climbed out of his lap to lay on the couch cushion next to him instead.

"I told you, man. He's an alien. But look at that face."

The kitten, now with tentacles hidden away again, was mewling softly and looking around for the ball. Sam grumbled, then admitted, "He's pretty cute. But can't call him Oreo."

"What do you want to call him?" Bucky humored.

"I dunno. Something spacey. What about Figaro?"

The kitten lifted his head at the name and came trotting over. Bucky raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I guess that's it," he conceded. "But why Figaro? How is that spacey?"

"It's not," Sam admitted. "But in Bohemian Rhapsody, it gets used next to Galileo and Magnifico. Besides, he looks like the cat from Pinocchio."

"You know the cat from Pinnicchio's name off the top of your head?" Bucky asked skeptically.

"Yeah, unlike you, I pay attention when I watch movies."

Bucky rolled his eyes at the ribbing. He was about to turn the camera around and do it again so Sam could see it, but Figaro, formerly Oreo, began scratching his head against the side of Bucky's phone and purring.

"Aw, Sammy, look at that," he cooed, saccharine and a little teasing. "He likes your voice."

"I can't see anything," Sam pointed out just as Figaro covered the camera again.

Bucky shifted the camera enough to show the not-cat again. He sat back and blinked at the phone. Sam made some sort of noise, but without seeing his face, Bucky wasn't sure what it was. Begrudging adoration, he hoped.

"What did Fury have to say about all of this?" Sam asked.

Bucky turned the camera around again so he was back in the shot. "That if I told anyone, he'd put me on a spaceship without an engine," Bucky admitted. "But everyone's gotta know I'm gonna tell you."

"You're a terrible spy," Sam agreed. But that lovely, pleased smile was back on his face. Bucky was getting better at being charming and polite, but being around Sam definitely skewed his results because Sam was pretty reactive as soon as Bucky got sweet. "Don't know how you got added to that reformed bad guys team."

"You of all people know how that ended," Bucky pointed out. Crashing, burning, screaming. A hundred disciplinary referrals on himself. "'How does Captain America keep figuring out our intel? Gosh, it just doesn't make sense.' It didn't take a genius to put it together."

"If it had, it never woulda been figured out," Sam finished. Bucky's gripes were very predictable. "When are you coming home?"

"As soon as Fury gives me the okay. He already gave me alien cats. Hopefully he'll want me out of sight soon too."

"And you're really bringing those things here?"

"The boys are gonna love them, " Bucky promised with a grin.

"You're taking care of the litter box," Sam warned. "And tentacle issues! I'll be on cuddle duty."

Bucky rolled his eyes fondly and held a hand over his heart. "I'll take care of the litter box."

"I miss you," Sam said softly. "Get back home soon. With your new minions."

"Everything that likes me first loves you more," Bucky reminded him. "They'll be your minions within a weekend."

Sam smiled and did not argue because he couldn't. "I love you. See you soon."

"Love you too," Bucky said, though it was drowned out by a plaintive set of meows and then Sam's laughter before he hung up.

Alien cats, Bucky thought as he watched Alpine chase Figaro. His sci-fi books hadn't prepared him for that one.

this has been sitting in my drafts since I saw the movie opening night. enjoy 👽🐈

#sambucky #bucky barnes #sam wilson #captain america #sambucky fanfic #the falcon and the winter soldier #writing #flerken #alpine the cat #figaro the cat

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heart4gyu · 1 year

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ten months love || heeseung x reader

note: i just thought of this out of nowhere idk but it turned out so cute ! it’s just sweet and lots of fluff ^_^ also not proofread per usual but yeah ENJOYY <33 wc: 1,889 words

you didn’t meet in a really significant way. no meet cute or anything like that, just a shared class and mutual friends.

the first time you talked to each other one on one was at small house party. just a bunch of close friends, light drinking and hanging out.

some of you had decided to go out and sit by the pool, no swimming though since it was too cold. you all talked for a while, about anything and everything and had some laughs.

in high school you never really had a friend group like this, you were close and you knew you’d be friends with them for a long time.

one by one everyone started to head inside; “i’m cold”, “i’m gonna go grab another drink”, “ugh i left my phone inside” they’d say as they retreated inside the house.

then it was just you and heeseung. he was the one you were least close with. but something about him made you want to get to know him.

you were intrigued by him. the way he was loud and energetic around the friend group but reserved and quiet on his own or around people he didn’t know.

to your surprise he spoke first, “do you like legos?”

it was random and completely out of no where. you’d just been sitting there in silence so you wondered how he had gotten to that thought. you just wanted to know what he was thinking, understand what was going on in his head.

“uh yeah, i think they’re cool,” you replied, after a second .

the pool chair squeaked as he laid back, copying the position you were in. “i bought a new set, it’s a bouquet of flowers,” he said, looking up at the stars with you.

you don’t know why but it brought a smile to your face. “that’s nice… i’ve never built a lego set,” you said.

“oh really?!” he said, genuine surprise in his voice as he turned to look at you.

“yeah,” you said, chuckling a bit at his reaction. “i mean they’re nice to look at and all but i just never thought to build one myself.”

“well, why don’t we build mine together? you can come over after our class tomorrow,” he said, and the amount of eye contact he kept made you look away.

“i’d love to,” you said, looking up at the night sky then back at him to share an appreciative smile.

he smiled back before looking back up at the stars. and you two sat out there pointing out constellations and talking about aliens until it got late and too cold to be out there.

that weekend, he came over to your dorm and you two assembled the pretty bouquet together. you didn’t know how intimate building lego sets could be until this day but it completely destroyed any sort of awkwardness that was between you.

after the flower bouquet hangout, you two were practically inseparable. everytime you hung out, you brought up something that sparked your next hang out idea.

the first time you went to his apartment, you saw his toy story figurines and he suggested that over the weekend you two could have a toy story movie marathon. you talked about things you enjoyed in your childhood, then you mentioned the mario movie and you both went to watch that together too.

he said that he was really good at all the mario games. he said he was good at any type of games and you suggested you both go to an arcade to see who’s better. and when the day ended in a tie, he challenged you to a basketball match instead. of course he beat you, but when you suggested a volleyball rematch next weekend, there was just no way he’d beat you then.

and just like that, every weekend or every other day piled up and two months had passed. even if you didn’t hang out, you two would text everyday.

you texted about everything. your days, your favorite things, your families, your worries and fears.

you could and did talk to him about everything. and those two months turned to five months. and he introduced you to his brother when he invited you to watch him play basketball.

not only that but your girl friends started to tease you about how close you two had been getting. you’d just roll your eyes and brush them off, “it’s not like that,” you’d say.

you thought they couldn’t be more wrong. you really cared about him and now he was one of your best friends. and the way your heart fluttered when his hands would brush yours as you both reached in to grab popcorn or steal the basketball from each other or attach a stubborn lego piece or to press the arcade machine buttons had nothing to do with any growing feelings towards him.

no it couldn’t. he was your friend. and you’d never had a friend like this so you wouldn’t dare say anything to him to ruin it.

and as seven months passed your day hangouts turned into sleepovers. even on your first sleepover, you were already comfortable enough with each other to sleep on the same bed.

it wasn’t weird or awkward. it was actually perfect. you laid a good distance away from each other and talked all night. neither one of you stopped to watch whatever was playing on the tv.

you both slept over at each others houses all the time now. you had clothes at his apartment and he had a toothbrush at yours.

by the eighth there wouldn’t even be a plan, he’d just come over and you’d lay around on the couch, binging a new show.

or you would go over and get your assignments done at his place to help you focus more.

in the ninth month, you two were just basically attached at the hip, an accessory to the other, a package deal.

you would grocery shop together, study together, be each others plus ones at parties.

but it did get frustrating the more people started to ask if you were together together. you hated explaining to everyone that he was just your friend.

… though what you hated even more was when someone asked if you and heeseung were dating, then when you’d explain that you were just friends, they’d ask you to introduce them to him.

they’d ask you for his number or be friends with you to get to him. you didn’t know the feeling you felt in your heart in these moments.

he was your friend, your best friend. so it shouldn’t be jealousy… but you just wanted him all to yourself.

“i think he’s talking to someone.” no, you knew. you knew for a fact that the only person he spent his time with was you.

you lied and you felt guilty. you felt bad keeping him to yourself, knowing that you’d never ruin your friendship by letting yourself feel anything more for him.

you keep him to yourself because deep down you know that you are in lov-

no.

no you couldn’t be in love with him.

you love him. just like any other best friends love each other.

before you knew it, you’d been friends with him for ten months. and you found yourselves right back in the same place you were when you had first talked to each other.

except this time, it was summer and you both sat at the edge of the pool, legs dipped into the water.

it was just the two of you outside, as you watched the sun setting in the distance. you don’t know when everyone snuck back inside but of course you didn’t mind.

there was quite literally no space in between the two of you, just how you always were. and you sat silently watching the ripples in the pool as you both kicked your feet around.

“you know, this is the exact place we were when we first really talked to each other,” he said, filling the silence.

a smile made its way to your lips at the memory, “yeah… ten months ago,” you said, turning to look at him.

his eyes finding yours, and you watched as his eyes dropped down to your lips just for a second. and you had to make yourself look away before the blush reached your cheeks.

he laughed awkwardly as he turned to look in the same direction as you. the sun was almost completely gone now. and for some reason the moment was tense as you avoided looking over at him again.

“back then, i couldn’t even think of anything to say to you. now, we basically live together,” he said. you could see him turn his head to you but you just looked down at the water.

the pool lights turned on then. “i know… i wanted to get to know you too, you’ve always seemed interesting to me,” you admitted, and he laughed to himself.

“can i tell you something? it’s a secret,” he said, angling himself so that he’s facing you more. you looked up him, a genuine look in your eyes.

“you know you can tell me anything,” you said, a sweet smile on your lips. he looked down at them again before he looked away.

“the first time jay introduced you to us, the only thing i could think was that you were the prettiest girl i’d ever seen. and that first time we talked, i only brought up legos because i wanted to build that bouquet with you. i wanted to hang out with you because i was crushing on you since i first laid my eyes on you,” he said, looking at you, hesitantly.

you couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth even though your heart was screaming at you to tell him how you’ve felt too. “… so all this time,” you started, still at a loss for words.

“yes… all this time. and the more time i spend with you, i think the more i fall for you,” he said, almost whispering. his cheeks and ears had turned a light shade of red, and he was fidgeting with his fingers.

you stayed silent as you thought to yourself what this all meant. “… uh- it’s- it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, i just thought you should know-,” he began to ramble before you cut him off.

your lips pressed to his, as you caressed his cheek with a hand. it was quick, just enough to show him how you felt. and when you pulled away, he was still shocked but a smile made its way to his lips.

he sighed in relief, leaning his forehead onto yours and holding the hand that was still on his hot cheek. he leaned in and kissed you again, more slow and gentle this time.

“if you’d have me, i’d really really like to be your boyfriend,” he said, leaning back and taking hold of both your hands in the space between you.

“heeseung, i’d love for you to be my boyfriend,” you replied, a soft blush rising to your cheeks. both of you smiling like lovesick fools, as he wrapped an around your shoulder to bring you into his side.

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lizardsfromspace · 6 months

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I didn't submit it to the worst finales thing bc it's too obscure but I have THOUGHTS on the finale to SLIDERS

If you haven't seen it Sliders was a 90s sci-fi adventure show where people travel from universe to universe, hoping the next leap jump is the jump home. The parallel dimensions early on had high-concept premises like "what if the Soviets won the Cold War?" "What if the world prized intellectualism the way ours does sports?" "What if women dominated politics and a man ran to break the glass ceiling?" And also "what if the world was entirely cowboys?" Big, deep philosophical questions

Early Sliders was done pretty well, and had some nice touches - for instance, many bit parts were played by the same actors each time, so we got to see the same minor characters across multiple worlds as well.

Then after two seasons it became a bunch of ripoffs of movie plots, had frequent cast changes, latched onto an arc about an alien invasion, and was cancelled and jumped to Sci-Fi Channel. Jerry O'Connell, star of the show, made them hire his brother, and then both of them left for the final season, which starts with...

The main character merging with his double as he slides into a new world, killing the protagonist, and recasting him, bc somehow, Jerry O'Connell and Jerry O'Connell's brother merged with an alternate Jerry O'Connell results in a different guy.

So there's only one original cast member left, Cleavant Derricks. This show only ran five seasons and only had one guy stay for all of them! So in the final season, naturally, his loyalty is rewarded by giving his character a deadly virus and having him go through the portal to another world, where he may or may not die, and we'll never know bc that's how the show ends

What a series

#television

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megamind2010 · 2 months

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Ladybug dies how

peacefully in her sleep at the ripe old age of 94 NAYYYYY IM SORRY

Assuming youre here cuz koby told you to come and yell at me for doing this and id like to say first of all im very sorry i just love tragedy soooo much. koby got really mad at me when i first brought up the idea and it also tortures me horribly too And we also talk a lot about the alternate universe where she doesnt die and instead she and casey just move to new york and hang out and get married and Chill Out

but in the "canon" ending im sorry yes nell dies (ducking rocks and bricks) IMMM SORRY! She's subject to the hereditary blue beetle curse of dying in a fight tragically young (she jumped in front of the metaphorical bullet for jaime on account of he's exempt because he has a much healthier support system than other beetles)

i'm a hack so i haven't really drawn or written anything concrete about it but how it goes down in my mind is your classic event/crisis where all the heroes are mobilised to fight off the annual universe destroying threat. this time it's aliens of some kind and while the league and the rest of the important guys are up there fighting or negotiating or punching the universe or however this particular one gets solved, ladybug is down on the ground in gotham helping to evacuate people and deal with some alien scouts/robots/etc that are menacing civilians. (casey has already been evacuated and is safely sheltering underground with a bunch of other civilians, being checked in on every now and then by some flash or another, & her general attitude is UGH Can you idiots get this sorted out so we can order chinese and watch real housewives...)

it happens while ladybug is getting a family to safety and an alien scout lands on the roof of their apartment. he ushers them downstairs and to his credit does a good job of holding off the attacker while the civilians get out of there - nell has no powers but is a very competent fighter and also is decked out with plenty of kordtech gadgets to help even the playing field :] but it's been a long day and she's so exhausted and there's only so much you can do when an alien shoots you in the chest with a laser and flies away and leaves you to bleed out

so there's nell with her communications down & unable to move & lying there staring at the sky full of invading spaceships and flying superheroes... if she could get someone's attention she might be okay but everyone is busy. it's a crisis! and nell knows that, she knows what this whole business is like, and she's been ready for something like this to happen for a while. nell is a very confident person but she isn't deluded about her own mortality... it's part of her personal philosophy that it's cruel to have too many attachments if you're likely to die horribly young (a mentality learned from the death of her mother and refined by the death of ted kord) so isnt it great that she doesnt have many friends? and that she's on okay terms but not super close with her family? and that casey doesnt actually care about her at all and wont be affected by her untimely death past the inconvenience of finding a new place to live?

lol

at the end of it all nell isn't really that upset about dying... they went out doing something worthwhile, they saved lives, they did the best they could with what they had, and they made a positive impact on the world while they were here. and that's about what he's always wanted to achieve so hey a+ work ladybug! obviously its not like he WANTS to die, theres always more to do, things he's going to miss... he'll miss talking to ted, working on gadgets and sorting through problems and making him laugh... he'll miss his family obviously but they'll be fine without him... michelle is someone she hadn't expected to get so close to, but she and ted both have booster to keep them on track

really annoyingly as she's closing her eyes the person who keeps coming into her mind though is casey. At this point nell is pretty aware that she cares about casey more than she ever planned or wanted to and has done a lot of mental gymnastics to convince herself that it's fine that nothing ever came of it (and now nothing ever will) and in her last moments she reassures herself that it's onesided and casey doesn't love her and he'll be fine without nell and You did a great job at not forming attachments ladybug that's why you're the best! but she can't help the surge of intense regret and fuuuuuck what if it was different and what if what if.........

here's my primo ladybug dying on a roof song

Nell's fatal flaw will always be her self-reliance and conviction that she's doing things the right way despite it all. if she bothered to communicate with the people in her life then she might be swayed on her views on love, or if she was less stupidly independent then maybe she would have been working with another hero and wouldn't have been in this situation. but that's tragedy i suppose, knowing how a character could have escaped their fate and yet having to accept that in this scenario with this set of rules there was no other way for this to happen

anyway if you'd prefer to think about nell alive and happy living in new york with casey then please do that. It's easy and free and it makes me smile

#i... i... Sorry #SORRY!#caseybug

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fruit-salad-ship · 15 days

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Jlxkgfhlzlhzlhvgslhhxhlxgkxmgzlgcgdmgsktxfjd

SOFT SUPERVILLAINS!!!!

YEEEES!!!!!

Let them have moments of soft!

I will share one I have thought about for the last two days.

Injured and in hiding, the girls retire to a safe house, patching wounds, passing bandages, and peach being the frontline has sustained some serious internal bruising, she hurts, so she pops some pain killers and clumps on an old dusty couch. Her head lolls to the side to watch plum applying a plaster to her arm, she sees her boss’ white clothes muddied, blood splattered, her hair is not it’s regimented style, her nail polish is chipped, her skin sports damage. She is not herself, and yet peach can’t help but fall back on a daydream. Hazy with her meds she doesn’t seem to mind being caught looking. Plum asks her what, a defensive tone, and peach rolls her head to be comfortable and indulges in her little secret.

She tells plum about the secret wish she’d had. She tells her that in another life, she’d have loved to have met her like a normal person. No violence, no spite, no job between them. Peach paints this picture of running a strawberry farm, selling them by the punnet at a farmers market. She is happy, with no one there to tell her what to do. Plum shows up to her stand, and they both seem to click, a background thought in their heads of ‘oh. I was made for you.’ As they fumble around conversation, with peach’s cheeky grin and plums open smile. Neither girl was damaged, they had a normal upbringing with no trauma to shape them into what they are now. Plum buys two punnets after being offered to try one, and they’re good, they’re so good, peach knows it, she grows em with care. Her parting words are that she’ll be here again same time next week, if plum likes them she should come back and get some more, you know, while they’re in season.

Plum of course comes back, same time next week, looking as radiant as ever, and this time peach works up the nerve to ask her to go for coffee sometime, if she likes, don’t have to. Plum agrees. They go on this coffee date and laugh, genuinely laugh. Have fun. Go on other dates, and this is where peach describes a bunch of things that even in her real life, even now sat on that dusty old sofa, plum would enjoy, she knows because she’s been around her long enough to have picked up on her interests.

Plum once upon a time would have used her quirk to get this story, but peach offers it freely, a cocktail of pain killers keeping her calm and numbing out the pain she’s managing. To plum, this is a gift she did not expect to get, always she has to extract information with force, but this is handed to her, this gentle notion of another lifetime where they get to be normal is offered up with peach’s smiles and weak laughter, aware enough that she’s being stupid saying it out loud.

Plum eventually says peach is wrong. It takes a while to find the words, but she toys with a thread on a cushion and mulls over the story. It’s not that it’s bad, she says it’s that she’d have asked to go out with peach first time they met, she’d not wait to see her again, and she’d not let peach lead. There’s no way. This gets a laugh that hurts, but her big guard can’t help it. Of all the things to have an issue with, that was it? Typical.

Peach slips into sleep and leaves plum to chew over the notion of what if. A woman impossibly cautious, daunted by personal connections, fearful of meaningful relationships, she’s been burnt so many times, now it’s natural to guard herself.

Once they’re back to work and healed up, the story hopefully is forgotten, peach put it behind her, plum however, can’t. She’s tried, she’s really tried, but it’s hard to look at that black clad woman beside her and imagine her being anything but a brutal gun for hire. The idea of her being slack, being sweet, is alien. It’s even more abstract to imagine plum would be on the receiving end, even after how she’s treated her, after how they clash hard, how many times she’s used her quirk to mess with her.

Plum stands in a shop later on, peach is gone, it’s just her, eyeing a tray on a shelf, biting her lip in thought, trying to be brave about something so stupid. She picks up the item, buys it, and takes it home. It’s placed on the kitchen table, where she looks at it for a longtime, with wine, over dinner, while sorting out emails and paperwork. Her eyes always return to the thing she bought.

It’s not until the next day, peach back in guard rotation, that she gestures vaguely after her shift ends for the night, trying not to meet the gaze of her member of staff, a woman who’s gone above and beyond in her work. ‘It’s for you.’ Stated simply as she continues typing on her laptop, not even giving peach a moment of her time, as if she had better things to do, when in fact she’d thought about this for almost 2 days now. It made her nervous. Peach picks up a tray of 6 strawberry starts. Little baby plants that need time and care, but could grow healthy. The only hint peach has gotten that her story didn’t just get thrown in the trash as she’d expected.

Neither say anything, plum can feel her looking over, but peach goes home, and carefully plants them up, and waters them in, and looks at them with a very gentle smile. In another life, they’d have been better, had a good honest chance at love, but who’s to say they don’t deserve it in this one? It’s all they got, may as well try to make something of it.

Doodle for fun^

#I think about the girls being soft way too often #and it hits so much harder when they’re not good people #fruit salad #brainrot #doodle #bnha au

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