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#they admired the experience too much yknow

zan0tix · 2 months

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Hi tumblr user Zan0tix, I have to say that I love that you draw Jake as big and hairy AND fem. It's such a rare combination outside of mean-spirited caricatures, every time I see your Jake I get a big smile on my face. :)

Hi tumblr user HermitCyclop ^u^ here is a jake drawing for you 🫶

The transmisogynistic demonisation of these features is so maddening!!! I agree! Im glad that the intent (appreciating these features) of my jake design reaches you c:

GOING TO PUT IT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. But jake english gender meta because i think about it Too Much and am taking this as an excuse to infodump abt it. 😁

The alpha kids and their specific defiance of both homestucks gendered narrative AND real life societal expectations are so fun to think about to me!! but since we are talking about jake, his specific defiance of both homestucks models of masculinity and femininity in the context of his queerness is like the reason he is my fav character.

He props himself up that he wants to be the adventure "hero" in the homestuck sense (the hardheaded blue femme fatale) and the western media sense (the hardheaded action man) yet whenever pressed to actually act on what he says he always refuses or obfuscates. Because really what he wants is to just be himself! I really love the alpha kids because they all just want to be Themselves, not be restricted and defined by what is expected of them, (all the characters have this but the alphas particularly really hammer this home for me)

The heavy emphasis on their beta selves, the heteronormative archetypes they embodied and what went wrong in their lives that manifest as fears in their alpha selves... im always thinking about it. How differently society affects queer ppls choices in life and then the fact that they all get a second chance and getting to watch them live out that second chance and realize their queerness and them all caring so much abt eachother and wanting to aspire to be better FOR the ones they love!!!!!! it always tugs at my heart strings to ponder😢😢

IM SO GOOD AT GOING ON TANGENTS MY BAD but basically. The alpha kids explicit queerness and how despite the comic itself protesting, they are all shown to be deserving of love (of all kinds) And as a person who super heavily relates to jake, his experience with his own identity (and dirks unending adoration and love for him and likewise jakes belief and admiration of dirk) serves to me as a reminder that yknow! We are all worthy of love!! Even if we dont think ourselves to be (this is just the message of shrek.) and there is always hope to be found in things improving!!!!

But in a text thats explicitly queer and not shy about letting its queer characters do wrong in realistic ways i think this message is incredibly powerful and certainly one of the best things about the comic in my eyes. And i love embracing that in my art of the characters! Drawing queer (but here specifically trans) characters all getting to be proud of themselves and their appearances makes me feel proud of myself alongside them and I think its wonderful to be able appreciate other trans peoples experiences and looks through it too!!

I specifically in homestuck fandom dont really see anybody but twinks (usually dirk or eridan LMFAO) portrayed to be fem in any manner 😢 when jake is the most explicitly feminine man in the comic. (I think the transmisogyny thats kind of rampant in this fandom means people dont want to consider those outside conventional attractiveness being feminine or transfem identities outside binary transwomen if even that😭😭) I am being the change i wana see in the world 🙏 The amount of transfem fat gay bear jake in the world increases by one every time i post

#hermitcyclop #daniel talks #my art #jake english #DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT JAKE ENGLISH I WILL NOT STOP. I COULD KPEP GOING BUT ITS MIDNIGHT AND I NEED SLEEP.#But thank you for the ask hermitcyclop you are the most dedicated dirkjaker mad respect 🫶 years in the game and still around.. you are cray

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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themotherofhorses · 1 year

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may I request some sfw headcanons about aemond with handmaid!reader? 🥺

TOTALLY i plan on eventually writing their first meeting + how they fall in love and begin their secret (not so secret) relationship but in the meantime:

some cute & fluffy headcanons of aemond targaryen with his handmaid!reader (who is basically his wife because fuck the westerosi social stratification)

his handmaid's tales | main masterlist

Okay, first, Siri pls play Woman by Doja Cat. Or, yknow, Waves of Blue by Majid Jordan.

His bed is your bed. Sure, you have your own tucked away in the servant’s quarters, in a room shared with two other maids, but you soon learn that Aemond prefers (demands) you remain by his side at all hours of the night. “What if I require my handmaid’s assistance at some random hour? No, you’ll stay with me where you belong.”

He loves for you to join him in his nighttime baths, not always with the intent to make love but for him to cradle your naked body close to his. Relaxing within the tub, soaking together in the scalding, scented waters, you and him are husband and wife.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." "Yes, my prince, I'm very much aware." "Don't you dare ever leave my side. I will not forgive you nor this damned world if I ever lost you."

Sometimes Alicent will walk in on soft, domestic moments where he’s seated in his chair, reading to the twins while you’re folding his clothing or tidying up the bed or tending to the newest babe. It is sweet in her eyes. Her favorite child is finally happy with his little (unconventional) family.

She can’t find it in herself to send you away. You’re no highborn lady, of course, but you’re so kind and gentle, absolutely respectful- treating her son so well and mothering her precious grandchildren. Otto, on the other hand, disapproves of the relationship a great deal, but he’ll deal with it later when the family eventually plunges itself into war. Aemond will marry but not you, he decides. But, in the meantime, he’ll allow his grandson to play with you a little bit longer.

Just your mere presence brings Aemond peace. Comfort. Relaxation. He’s so besotted with you that he cannot imagine living the rest of his life without you.

You’re the most beautiful woman, he swears. He notices the way highborn lords openly fawn over you whenever you attend royal banquets, and how their lustful gazes follow your every movement. It grew worse during your first pregnancy, as you glowed with motherhood so well you might’ve as well been the Mother walking amongst her children.

The first pregnancy with the twins brought a level of excitement towards fatherhood that Aemond swore he thought he’d never experience. He remembers how Aegon acted when Helaena was heavy with their twins, always meeting her with a lack of interest in her health or needs or the babes. He could not understand it. Not a bit. With you, he’s desperate to keep his hold on you at every hour of the day.

If you’re tending to your duties, he’ll always remain nearby. #protectivedaddy. He’ll take the time to polish his sword, study the room, or admire the way your swelling baby bump is now beginning to poke out from underneath your servant's dress. “I did that.”

At night, when you’re fast asleep, he’ll crawl down to lay his head on your belly. Feeling his babes’ little faint kicks against his cheek and palms reminds him that life is now worth living for. He’ll talk to the babes too, mumbling about his day and how beautiful their mother is and how he’s thrilled to soon have them. Aemond takes to fatherhood as quickly and easily as you took to being his handmaid.

The second pregnancy brings constant midnight dreams of a pretty baby girl, carrying the same features as her mother- your twinkling eyes, the slope of your nose, the cute pout that tugs at the corner of your lips. He plans on naming her after your mother and already has the dragon egg ready to place in the cradle

His uncle, Daemon, nicknames you in his head his nephew’s duckling. You’re always following after him, two steps back (a healthy distance between a supposed royal and their servant), ready to serve him if needed, hands clasped together, and pretty head bowed. You remind him of Helaena in a way, much too pure for this world.

Helaena adores you. Duh, that’s a given. And if Helaena gives you her blessing, you might as well be part of the family.

In bed, Aemond likes to caress your cheeks and stroke your bottom lip with his thumb as you sleep. It is in these moments that he genuinely believes you were created for him to find and love and worship, that the gods fashioned your existence to mold into his. He was never fated to fall in love with a highborn lady but instead his sweet handmaid, who was sent to provide him with everything he was denied during boyhood.

divider by the loml @chainsawsangel

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond headcanons #handmaid!reader #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond the kinslayer #house of the dragon #requests #vic writes 🧸

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wonysugar · 6 months

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need sugarmommy wonyyyy

i need her too anon, i need ha tew..

okay but genuinely talking,, sugarmommy wonyoung would be so elegant? the rich, cold, collected and intimidating classy ceo that everyone knows and admires? yeah, that’s her. her name, jang wonyoung, would ring in your ears everytime you heard it. you’d grin just from spelling it out in your own head.

but that’s just because you admired her for other reasons.

the way you met her was truly unexpected but so very welcome though, you created an account on some local sugarmommy finding app that liz showed you a girlie’s gotta get her bag somehow. it was fairly average from the start, couple of matches here and there, but nothing really clicked.

that is, until you matched with her, of course.

you already knew who she was beforehand, which kinda made you wonder if this was the real deal? her texting habits made it clear to you, however, this was really her. she was just so eloquent with her words, so.. assertive? you felt hypnotized by simple pixels on your cellphone’s screen, your eyes slightly widening as she called you fancy nicknames like darling and sweetheart during casual conversation. she was so persuasive, you just wanted her to take complete control of your life from the get-go.

and to nobody’s surprise, that feeling just grew stronger each time you went out with her.

she’d always walk into the restaurants, expensive handbags and rings in hand, all because “coming empty-handed to a date would simply be ill-mannered of her”. hell, wonyoung even asked you which country you wanted to visit so she knew where to fly her private jet to next. she spoiled you rotten, really, and she didn’t even ask anything of you for the first few dates, and remained patient and attentive with you. she simply wanted to make you happy.

up until around 5 dates later.

she finally offered to bring you back to her mansion, after confessing that she secretly bought some lingerie she thought would suit you, and that she’d just love to see you try it on for her. yknow, a silly excuse to get you to see how big her house was.

you later figured out that her house wasn’t the only thing that was big!

this woman surprisingly had the most kinky objects in her possession, handcuffs, flogs, ropes, you name it. christian grey style, if you will. wonyoung, so composed and charming when it came to important meetings, yet so animalistic and rough when it came to sex. of course, she started slowly, asking you if you were ready for what was about happen, letting you know of a safe word, etc.

once that was done, she immediately got to work. planting rough kisses all over your body, muttering about how you were her pretty little thing and how nobody else could have you. you were hers, and she made sure to let you know of that.

i mean, you understood that pretty quickly when she roughly pounded your cunt with her probably-expensive-as-shit strap on. you didn’t even know rich people had those, and she didn’t even care if it hurt you. she wanted to fuck you good, and that’s what was bound to happen. her fingers rubbed on your throbbing clit insanely well, you could tell she had an insane amount of experience from the way she leaned into your ear and whispered praises into it. she’d treat you with unlimited amounts of respect anywhere else, but definitely not when she’s in her giant bedroom, stretching you out<33

oh and also, can we please talk about how stern this woman would be? you’d be begging, pleading her to go slower and she’d say something like “i don’t remember telling you that you could speak, love.” LIKE OU?? yes ma’am i am silent

or even in your day to day life?? bringing you to some expensive ass store that sells dresses with price tags that look like they could pass as math equations, you’d try and convince her that it’s too much and that she could you always buy you something cheaper elsewhere and her just shutting you down immediately going “nono, pick one, y/n, i absolutely insist.” like FUCKCK??

#jang wonyoung x female reader #ive jang wonyoung #wonyoung #wonyoung ive smut #ive #smut #kpop gg #female reader #ive smut #wonyoung ive #jang wonyoung ive #anon asks #anon #jang wonyoung

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cock-holliday · 7 months

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Yknow for as much as I have learned so much about gender from trans and nonbinary and other people, I have learned a good bit from cis people too.

I have been fortunate to meet lots of cis folks who have explored their gender, done lots of research into the topic, and are sometimes more knowledgeable about diverse experiences with gender than some trans folks I know—while still concluding they are cis.

There is an immense beauty in laying everything about gender on the table, and discarding what you don’t like and choosing what you do. Of course a good example is GNC people but I don’t even just mean that.

Feminine cis women who treat femininity a bit like drag. Masculine men whose masculinity is modeled after butch women. Cis people who are attracted to and admire queer gender expression.

Once you see cis people do peculiar and liberating things with gender while not rejecting the label—but rather modifying what the label means—it becomes extremely satisfying to do the same.

There are things about my AGAB I like. There are aspects of femininity/masculinity associated with my AGAB that I missed terribly when I came out as a binary trans person. To see cis people take ownership of their gender in ways I had only ever seen trans people do with the gender they moved to was eye-opening.

It’s choice, it’s autonomy, it’s an awareness and intentionality of gender expression while still being their AGAB.

There are trans people who never felt connected to their AGAB, “I was never a girl, I was always a boy.” There are trans people who acknowledge their AGAB and have left it behind, “I was a boy but now I am a woman.”

There is no uniformity in what it means to be trans and then frankly there doesn’t have to be (and there isn’t) uniformity in how to be cis.

There is deconstruction of gender happening all over the place, across cis and trans, binary and not, secret third options and 52nd options and it’s so exciting to see.

If cis doesn’t even mean you have to be shackled to societal expectations then trans definitely doesn’t—and that’s beautiful and hopeful to see.

#LJsm

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rewritingcanon · 1 year

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next gen characters and their favourite parent 🫣

victoire: fleur but maybe only by a margin (very close, bill should not take it personally that victoire just specifically admires fleur more because they are more similar in character, she really loves her dad)

dom: bill because he let her get tattoos before she was 18 and he will brush her hair in the morning when she’s too tired to do it herself

louis: fleur because their mother would never allow louis to leave the house looking ugly and they really appreciate that

molly: percy, because they are similar in person and when he gives her approval it just makes her feel more satisfied yknow

lucy: audrey because her mother lets her get away with more stuff than her dad does, so she feels more comfortable being goofy with her than her dad

fred: george because his love language is irritating people and george will just give the same energy back without any qualms

roxanne: angelina, she feels they have a greater understanding between them and she goes to her mother for advice more often

james: ginny, he is the definition of a momma’s boy who would always go soft on her

albus: ginny, even though he feels he’s more similar to harry, sometimes ginny just saying shit as it is gives him a rare sort of calm he appreciates

lily: harry, she loves making her dad interested in anything and everything shes interested in and he’s always genuinely listening to her

rose: no. she genuinely has no preference she loves her parents the same. she is very consistent in her love for them

hugo: contrary to rose, it honestly depends on the day. ron will sneak him toffee and hot chocolate late on a saturday evening and hugo will deem him the favourite parent, the next day hermione buys him a squishmallow and she is

teddy: …andromeda

scorpius: even though he would rather keel over than ever think of liking one parent more than the other… he was closer with astoria growing up (due to their likeness she could bond with him easier), but obviously as scorpius grows up he gets closer with his dad, and he’ll have more experiences with him than he ever had with his mother.

lysander: rolf because he takes lysander all over the world to pursue his interests in geology. rolf will be trying to tame some swedish serpent whilst lysander is inspecting the pebbles in its cave and thats a normal father-son bonding time for them

lorcan: luna. lorcan has been illustrating for the quibbler since he was 13 because luna genuinely doesnt believe there is any other artist that can perfectly mirror the complexity of peculiar fantastical creatures as her son (it’s literally a stick figure)

alice: neville. she’s a daddy’s girl who has her dad wrapped around her finger. i mean, he loves her so much that he forgives her for hating gardening

frank: hannah. she forces him to help her fold the laundry with her and he hates it, but he still loves her (forcing him to help her with her chores just so she can spend more time with him, i see you hannah)

delphi: voldemort 😻😻 (she needs therapy immediately)

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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audristarzz · 2 months

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FAME DR

just imagining Isaac being asked about me/ me mentioned in his interviews 🙁🙁

!my name is riley in my role as well as my actual name!

“We know that you got to work with a lot of talented actors like Nikki, Ashby and Noah along with Riley is that correct?”

“Yeah! They’re all great, everyone’s so great we’re all really close, Nikki, Ashby and Noah are very talented and bring their characters to life so well and Riley-? Oh my god Riley is so amazing, she puts so much work and effort everytime we shoot a scene together even if it’s a small scene and it ends up amazing everytime- she’s so talented”

“Isaac, now everyone of your cast members that I’ve interviewed, we’ve asked the same question team Cole or Alex , when we had Riley on we asked and she said team Isaac so we have to ask.. are you team Cole or Alex?”

“Riley my girl oh my god! Uhh I didn’t even know team Isaac was a thing I’m gonna be honest- but I think team Isaac? No I’m kidding- I think if I had to choose between team Cole and Alex I would say Alex I mean he’s a cool guy, nerdy, shy so I could say Alex”

“Now.. before we end this interview, the question I’m sure you get asked the most besides the whole team Cole or Alex is what’s going to happen with Riley and Isaac in season 2 of My Life With The Walter Boys, because fans are saying that the characters between you and Riley have some.. romance sparking up?? Which I’m curious about too like- It seemed like you both had genuine feelings for eachother it felt so real when watching the episode!”

“ah.. haha uhm that’s- well I can’t really say cause yknow, you guys just gotta see what happens next between the two but i can tell you that they certainly are a pair that fans and myself love to see, and me and Riley both read comments about them everytime we get together when she’s in town to visit, So we see what you guys want and wish for Riley and Isaac so maybe we can try make some suggestions for the next season, Riley is just.. she’s just great, like haha it’s been such an experience to work with her and hang out with her when we and the cast get together. She’s truly spectacular and I admire her a lot”

#shifting community #fame dr #shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #my life with the walter boys #shifting motivation #shifting realities #reality shift #fame desired reality #isaac arellanes #isaac garcia #rambling #shifting blog #shifting antis dni #shifting methods #quantum jumping #loa

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popcornaddict500 · 1 month

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some Shiloh in Touchstarved thoughts

(Shiloh is a 7'5 satyr with long, puffy, curly dark grey hair, dark grey fluff on his neck and several other parts of his body (like back and chest, forearms etc) , reading glasses and green eyes. He has a mole under his eye.)

-Shiloh is a doctor who specializes in magical treatments. And it works, too! He's not a quack :)

-He experiments on plants in his large botanic garden too. It all ties into his magical treatments in some way even if he won't divulge how

-Shiloh is not cursed like Olivia and Adam, but he is a friend of theirs

-Decides to stay in eridia for a while cause lord knows so many people there need help

-he's very appreciative of Kuras! admires him too! would love to talk medicine and healing

-Has one of those suitcases that looks small but contains way more than it looks

-Lots of potions! Ointments made with enchanted materials, salves that give a broken limb more strength to recover, etc

-He's no miracle worker but his products are very beneficial! And he doesn't charge much AT ALL so honestly he's very appreciated

-Shiloh is gentle and soft spoken, despite his size.

-Honestly I think he'd get along with Kuras and Ais the best

-Not that he dislikes the others, but they seem the most chill.

-Leander is kind but Shiloh thinks he's a bit too much. He worries about him being ingenuine and so is wary of him.

-He'd like to get to know Mhin but he's not the type to really push them. Feels bad yknow? He hopes they can see he does truly mean well though

-Vere... is a complicated case for Shiloh. On one hand he feels every creature should be treated with respect and so feels bad that he's chained by the Senobium, but on the other hand whenever they talk he cant Not be flustered and embarrassed

-Too many 'tall = big dick' jokes..

-not that it's incorrect but.

#charlie talks #shiloh #touchstarved oc #touchstarved game #touchstarved mc #charlie's writing #hehe

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eirian · 1 month

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HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

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trashlie · 9 months

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ILY FP 237

Wanna know something that feels insane? I went to go reread 151 for yknow, reasons, lmao and I noticed it came out September 30, 2021.

/2021/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE THAT EPISODE DROPPED?! NO WONDER WE CAN'T BE NORMAL ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!! NO WONDER WE'RE ALL AS FERAL AS SHINAE AND CLIMBING WALLS AND CHEWING THROUGH OUR KEYBOARDS. I can't get my head around this lmao TWO WHOLE YEARS?! What the HECK?! This has been WILD!!!!!!!

Anyway, I kind of wish you guys could have seen me immediately after reading this episode because I swear it felt like I went through the five stages of like, grief or something, for reasons I'll get to lmao like, my friends and i live blog at each other as we read and it was just a wall of screaming cat emotes sent over and over and DREAD and STRESS and some kind of dramatic chaos and calamity before we got it out of our systems and were like "okay i can be normal* about this now

*as normal as possible all things considered lmao

Anyway. AN EPISODE AIN'T IT? Let's go

I had fantasized a lot about how I waned Dieter and Nol's conversation to go, and as always, I was not entirely on the mark. That's why I'm not the one writing ILY XD But regardless, I love what we got, and we got things that I did NOT expect at all!

There's something about how it starts off with that sort of.... "we're pretending everything is normal and that you didn't totally oversee me making moves on the girl you like while i thought you were sleeping and you don't even know why I came back after blocking all of you let's definitely make visitation plans" that is so funny to me, even though that's absolutely how I expected it to go. Dieter is the master of playing it cool, much to his own detriment, but it works in this case, because Nol is so very like a feral cat, isn't he?

I'm actually really glad that we touched on the topic of visitation because I was SO CERTAIN Nol wouldn't want them to visit him, wouldn't want to be seen like that, wouldn't want to be reminded of their lives going on while he's stuck behind bars for a crime he didn't commit. And Dieter is not that subtle with the way he goes down the list of the potential visitors Nol can have - not that there's, yknow.... many..... lol but we all know what he's getting at, carefully hedging the important matters at hand. "It would make you happy if she visited you, too... right?"

Something so funny about my agitation at the end of this episode was that I so badly wanted to comment on how Nol's reaction to Dieter winning the game reminded me SO MUCH of the expressions Shinae makes lol I don't know if that's just a result of quimchee's artstyle or just one of those many things they have in common, but it makes me laugh a lot.

Dieter possesses a rather straight forward nature that I'm so envious of. I'm the kind of person who struggles to bring up things that I need to talk to friends about, too burned by past experiences that didn't go well that I still get worried that addressing important topics with my friends will go south even though I know better, so I beat around the bush, I hem and haw. But Dieter is SO direct with Nol, even as Nol tries to deflect, even as he attempts to bush it off. It's so admirable! Especially while Nol is being.... well. Nol lmao

I CANNOT believe that he really went nine-year-old on the playground being accused of liking a girl like. He LITERALLY went BLEH why would I even HURL alkfjkafjafjkafkjafjk MY GUY?! ALKFKAFJAKFKAJFKJ?1 He is akjffakfj a MENACE truly related to Nana!!!!!!!!!

I think this must be the most open and honest Nol has ever been with Dieter. When you think about it, Dieter really is the one friend who has been the most "on the outside" of Nol's life, he has only known Yeonggi, and it wasn't for malicious reasons. That's all the stuff Nol dislikes about his life, that he tries to neatly compartmentalize. Up until recently, he was able to do so. Kousuke was off his back, he was more or less free. Everything changed when Rand went out of country and Kousuke had Nol helping out at the office. Dieter had no reason to really know much more about Kousuke and Nol's relationship because Soushi joining their group meant Kousuke wasn't around as often, and we saw that they both were able to thrive (as well as possible) outside of the way of each other.

So for Nol to open up enough to tell him that he doesn't really make friends, despite how it looks. That most people don't really seem to like him, that he doesn't like his peers or his family, that they are really the only people he has let into his life is big. There's so much Dieter still doesn't know about him, but baby steps. You can't just dump all of that, even if he was ready to.

And in him saying this, to some degree I understand. After all, all this while Nol wasn't even aware of those feelings, of what she meant. I think there were moments - like at the formal when he made her laugh - but it wasn't anything like when he had his head rest upon her shoulder, feeling at peace despite his injuries, feeling calm despite the location, feeling like he could fall asleep and learned that it had nothing to do with medication that made him realize it. So on the one hand I DO get his logic, because what if he IS misplacing this feeling, what if he IS wrong, what if he's making something out of nothing?

But I'm sure on another level he knows better, because he knows what Dieter saw, because he was acting on what he felt.

I think Nol has never had feelings for anyone, because he has nothing to compare this to. He said he "tried to make it work" with Alyssa, but there's a sense that he was never actually into her, that there weren't actually any feelings there and they never grew as time went on. And now that he feels these unfamiliar things for Shinae, how is he to know?

What's really funny is that this is the same tactic as Shinae, but in reverse. When she told him we're all friends and he adamantly told her no, because he knows better, because it wasn't platonic, because their kind of friend is so different from how she's friends with Dieter. And even though he's the one who knows his feeling and suspects hers, he still tries the same logic she used: that anyone else could be in her position and maybe he'd still feel the same, that maybe it's just because he's so starved for kindness that he's responding to that.

Again, we know better, but it's so funny to me that she literally tried to use the logic that all friendships are different but also she could put anyone else in his place and it would be the same.

Please. I need them to stop kidding themselves lmaoooooo

For Nol's sake, though, he needs it to be a thing that will pass, because in his mind not only does he endanger Shinae by caring about her, but he also betrays his friend, only further hurts him, and given that Nol's whole deal is that he tries to rebalance the bad he brings into the world by making up for it with good, he's really doing a terrible job.

Unfortunately for Nol, feelings don't work like that and logic can't control them. He can tell himself it might be a thing that can pass, that it might be something that he'd get over, but that doesn't change Shinae's feelings, and the fact that she clearly likes him, not Dieter. It would be so much easier for Nol if Dieter actually treated it like a betrayal, if he was mad at him, if he felt like Nol had wronged him. He wants him to be angry, because he can at least use Dieter's anger and pain as a reason to step back, because god knows Nol himself does not have the will power to do it on his own. If he can say "Acting on my feelings is hurting my friendship with Dieter" he could have a concrete reason to ignore them, because it's not worth losing his friendship.

But that's not who Dieter is. He isn't giving him that kind of excuse.

We can see, too, just how important those friendships are to Nol, that hurting Dieter would be reason enough to drop his feelings! Because these are the only friends he has. The only people who have made him feel like he has value. Made him feel not like nothing but something. A somebody. Special. That's not something worth throwing away, which is ironically what gets him into this problem. These people made him feel special, and he came to care about them as they care about him, and in his mind this has endangered them all, and it's more than enough reason to hold them at arms' length, to smother his feelings and hope they'll die out like cold embers, hope that if he doesn't fans the flames or add new wood, it will go cold.

I really feel for Dieter having this conversation because honestly, it can't be easy. Even though he's holding himself together, we know that it still hurts. His expression with his eyes closed when he mentions how he's seen the way Shinae cries for him... agonizing! He's seen it multiple times now! He's always the one who picks up her pieces and gives her comfort, even though it hurts him to do, even though he knows why she's crying. It wasn't just what he saw that morning when they thought he was asleep - he's been watching this all along, from the beginning, always consciously comparing himself to the people in her life and how she interacts with them. Even as a friend, he doesn't have what she has with Minhyuk or Nol. Dieter knew all along what he was getting into, knew all along the way they interact, the way they gravitate towards each other, and he couldn't help but hope he might have that, too. That with enough time they could be like that. All this morning did was show him that he was never going to have that with her, that he never really stood a chance. ;~; But he tried! It's more than Nol can say right now....

Nol's agitation is such a BIG deal! Again, Dieter has never really known Nol. Yeonggi wasn't like this! Yeonggi didn't have this energy, that feral cat energy, that edge! His shock in response to how Nol responds shows that much - because to him this isn't a big deal, if he likes her then he likes her and he just wanted Nol to know that he won't hold it against him. But there is just so much Dieter doesn't know! He can't understand at this point why Nol is so emotional about it, why he seems so agitated and upset, why he's insisting it will never happen. Seeing those emotions on his face!!! The way Dieter goes from startled to defensive to concerned.

"If you don't like seeing her hurt, it's in your best interest to keep her away from me."

That sounds so threatening! He's the only one who is hurting Shinae, what Nol is saying can't possibly make any sense to Dieter.

He doesn't know about the formal.

He doesn't know about Shinae getting tricked by Yui, how she was coerced to attend that harrowing formal in order to protect someone who it turned out didn't need protecting.

He doesn't know about the fall from the pool and how she hit her head and was in the hospital when she should have been at home getting a good night's sleep the night before her college entrance exams.

He doesn't know about the contract she's locked into.

About the roofies, about Sangchul.

About how Shinae could have been assaulted, or how she could have died.

This is the most honest Nol has probably ever been with Dieter, with anyone but Shinae at this point, frankly, and unfortunately Dieter doesn't know anything, can't understand, but what he can see is that Nol means it. The fear on his face! He looks so childlike in how distressed and afraid he is!

When we really think about it, in Nol's eyes, it is about him. That he is a blight, a mistake who was never supposed to exist. That what happened to his mom was because of him, because he exists. Because he didn't treat her well. What happened to Shinae is because he took interest in her, because she meant something to him, and that wasn't acceptable. He believes harm comes to those he cares about, but in his view that's the extent of it. It's not that Yui is a monster, it's that she's a monster to him.

He doesn't have our objective knowledge. He doesn't know that Kousuke has been drugged and manipulated his whole life, that she drove that wedge between him and his father. He doesn't know that Yui invited Shinae to Kousuke's apartment and treated her inappropriately, tried to undress her, put her in Kousuke's clothes. Does he even really understand how Shinae wound up at the formal? That it wasn't about him at all - that Shinae was convinced Kousuke did something wrong by giving her a job she didn't deserve, that she had to attend the formal to "protect his job".

So to him, it's just because it's him. Because he cares. Because he is a mistake and doesn't deserve any of this, and that they are punished for him not knowing his place. His worries extend to Dieter and Soushi as well, because they are also people he cares about, and maybe the universe will harm them, too, to remind him of his place.

He doesn't know what he has to protect them from, just that he must.

One of these days, we are going to get flashbacks of what happened when Nol was taken away to Hirahara Memorial, and I'm not ready. The way he looks so small and childlike sitting there in his bed with all of his fear and distress, all of these feelings so knotted up inside. What did they do to him when he was in there? What did they say to him, that made him so deeply internalize this belief? Almost two years of being broken down, being convinced that the things that happen to those you care about are the direct result of you caring of your existence. And that's the most frustrating part about it - it's so deeply ingrained, so intricately woven into his psyche that he can't just change his way of thinking. It's going to be so difficult to undo that thinking!

Not that this is really new to us but, just getting to really mull over this is so heartbreaking. Nol is so terrified of losing her, that he's willing to lose her to protect her. He'd rather not have her at all if it will keep her safe, if it will protect her from harm, even though it's so clear that he wants the opposite. He cares so much and it makes him so very afraid. How does he live like that?! That constant battle of wanting vs what he fears, how he let them into his life and broke his rules and in his mind this has put them in danger.

"If you don't like seeing her hurt, it's in your best interest to keep her away from me!"

He really would rather be the one that hurts her to protect her than to take any chances and it just makes me feel SO EMOTIONAL. ;A; OKAY. Because what can you even do to help him? He is so..... I don't like it when people say the word broken, because it often feels low-key like they mean someone is too traumatized to ever be "repaired" but when I say Nol is so broken, I mean that he has been put in situations that have damaged his self-view, that have damaged his psyche, that have altered the way he thinks and feels to such a degree that he is sitting here willing to hurt people in order to protect them, because he lives in this constant fear of unknown that he cannot predict. They took this vulnerable kid and put him through absolute HELL, they broke him and then they refused to put the pieces back together.

I hope that Dieter will talk to someone about it. Is it something he can talk about with Shinae? Can he pull together any clues? He's our most observant character, but does he know enough to start to grasp this very real fear that has gripped Nol? He was there at the arcade when Kousuke and Yui came to pick up Nol, when he reacted strangely to her being there, when he slapped away Kousuke's hand. Is that something that he'd remember, think is worth pursuing? And even if so, what can come of it? He looks genuinely worried and concerned, though, and I hope that something will be able to come of it, because I think even if he can't understand what Nol fears, he at least knows that to him it's very real.

Soushi's timing with the jello just.... KILLED me. KILLED ME what a time to interrupt ;______; How do you get back to that conversation?! And especially with Kousuke there now, it's effectively over. It just!!! LKFAFKJAJFKAKJFAJKFKJAF KLJAFKJAF AKJFKAJFKAFJKAF IT KILLS ME OKAY AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGH

And while I know very well that Kousuke is there with good intentions, that he looks so haunted standing in the hallway waiting for Nol, I can't help but feel a heavy curtain of foreboding coming down, because Kousuke comes in like an omen. Because things go bad when he shows up, even when he's not the one trying to stir things up. And frankly, I don't look forward to this, because I know whatever is going to go down is going to hurt! There's something so..... I guess bitter about Kousuke's very too little too late moment, how he has struggled all these years with how badly he wants Rand's love, how much he fears not being good enough, how terrified he was that Nol could have it and replace him, the guilt for destroying a young child who was never a real threat to him (even though Yui absolutely made him out as a real threat in Kousuke's mind). It's like... knowing that Kousuke is starting to unlock this, is starting to see the insidious underbelly, while knowing it's too late. Nol has wiped his hands of him. He literally nearly died as a result of what happened the night before and even if Kousuke is coming to reach out to him, or to confirm something, Nol has no reason to entertain him, to hep him.

I feel like we are very much seeing that table turn, the role reversal. We're going to watch Kousuke fall apart, trying his best to hold himself together, with no one to turn to, no one he can actually trust, his paranoia eating him alive. It's not that I think anything heavy is going to go down as much as.... maybe we're going to watch Kousuke reach out to him, whether for help or to acknowledge something - that Nol, too, was drugged, that this must be why he hates tea so much, that so many times he ignored Nol's pleas for help - and Nol is probably going to reiterate how very done with him he is, that he wants nothing to do with him or this family any more, that he is done with them and what they've done to him. And just. AUGH ALKJAFKJJKFJKAF IT KILLS ME I'M SO EMOTIONAL I'M SO DISTRESSED BECAUSE WE KNOW WHY KOUSUKE WAS LIKE THAT WE KNOW HOW HE WAS MANIPULATED, HOW THE DRUGGING WAS USED TO ALTER HIS MEMORIES AND HOW HE RECALLED EVENTS HOW HE BELIEVES IN THIS FICTITIOUS VERSION OF NOL WHO WAS FORMED BY YUI'S WORDS AND IT KILLS ME BECAUSE NOL IS SO WELL WITHIN HIS RIGHT AND I JUST. TRAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIC SIIIIIIIIIBLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIINNNNGSSSSSSSSS ;A;

And things just always go south when Kousuke comes around. He puts Nol in a worse mood, he starts to act out more. We literally watched this kid jump off a fucking balcony into a pool below and revisit the last time he was at the bottom of a pool, contemplating never returning to the surface! THINGS NEVER GO WELL WHEN KOUSUKE IS INVOLVED AND I'M NERVOUS AND SCARED AND I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ;A;

At this point, I feel like everything really is up to Shinae at this point, because Nol is back to trying to rebuild his walls and put them up as high as he can, so ready to try to ignore these feelings, to play them off, to tell her that it probably means nothing, that he must just be acting this way because she's been nice when no one else has and if it was anyone else he'd probably feel the same way and GOD I am ready for her to go off on him. He all but told her to leave and come back when you know why you're fighting so hard for me, but I don't think he's actually PREPARED for her going back knowing her feelings, knowing what she wants.

Until now, there's always been a disadvantage between Shinae and Nol in their relationship, where he is always the one with the leg up, the one who knows more, the one who is making moves, the one who is in control of things. But I think we're going to see that change, based on her very feral way of fighting her feelings, how she was about to try to break down his door in order to continue their conversation, how agitated she is by the thought of him throwing her away.

It really does come down to her pure determination, and I'm fully expecting her to go in there and get into an argument with him lmao and frankly, I welcome it. I think that's the only way they're going to get anywhere. There's so many things they need to talk about, they need a heart to heart DESPERATELY but I don't think we're going to lead with it. I go back and forth on how I expect her to go, because she was SO READY to go back in and demand her things back "if I can't have you" (SCREAMING STILL) but now that she knows her feelings... will she? I hope she will, still. Because now it's almost worse, right? That he's taken all these things from her AND he still has a girlfriend AND he now has her heart? HOW IS THAT FAIR, GIVE IT BACK, GIVE BACK EVERYTHING!

I want them to argue because I think they're both a little more honest when they aren't thinking about what they're saying, when they let the hotheaded energy take over and words come out. Nol is probably going to play the "this probably doesn't even mean anything" game, the "this will probably pass and we'll both move on" game, the "maybe i'm just a selfish asshole friend and none of this means anything" game and Shinae is too hardheaded to let that slide.

I want her jealousy and insecurity to come out when Nol tries to shield himself with “I have a girlfriend” and I want her to remind him he said it was fake and he resents her. I want her to look him in the eye and ask if he can really throw it all away, if he wouldn’t have any regrets if he gave up and left her. I want him to fail to answer and instead tell her that maybe he can, who knows, maybe none of this is really real. And I want her to kiss him and prove to him how very real it is, how very much they both want it, and how very much they need each other.

And when she pulls away he can lean in, following her, pulling her back in, his brain off because god knows the moment her mouth touches his it's all over, he's melting, his resolve is crumbling and he's going all in, pulling her against him fingers in her hair mouth crashing back on hers so hungry so touch-starved so full of want.

They can talk about everything else once she's convinced him this isn't so fleeting. She can remind him what she already said, that she deserves a choice in this matter, that leaving doesn't change anything because she still works for the company she's still under contract and now there's more she can tell him - how Yui made her an offer that would essentially tether her to them, how Rand told her to take it that he says Yui will never let her go. That it was not about him that Yui is a witch, tell him about Kousuke's birthday, tell him about the way she got tricked, tell him about the things she tried to do to her.

I've already acknowledged that nothing can undo the years of damage that was done to Nol in the hospital and through years of abuse, but I think Shinae can, at the very least, make him see that she very much is just as trapped, that she's worse off if he leaves, that together they are so much stronger, that they don't have to endure this alone. He can tell her how scared he is and she can stroke his hair and reassure him the best she can that he's allowed to be scared in front of her that she feels scared, too, but maybe she's more afraid of losing someone who means so much to her, who is literally the reason she's gotten through everything she did. That maybe he thinks he's a monster but she's something else in him, that he is the sole reason she could endure that harrowing night.

I WANT THEM TO HAVE AN HONEST HEART TO HEART SO BADLY. I feel like we MUST be going that direction. There's been too much build up not to. As Lil Anon put it, ILY has never been quick to reward, and we must go through the ups and downs to get there. We've had this moment dangled in front of us for so long but we're not getting it easy. But we can see it in the narrative - the emphasis on their mutually realized feelings, that Nol was given that 3 day extension that leads so close to Christmas, the emphasis on her mouth, that these feelings happened before he went to jail. If there wasn't going to be a resolution, NONE of this would have needed to happen, especially not the 3 day extension. Quimchee is absolutely drawing this out - and not even in the "putting up pointless obstacles just to draw it out" kind of way but in the "you are going to be so satisfied when we get there" kind of way lol. It's just so easy to get spooked because that's what the writing is doing! That's tension, baby.

Hopeful optimism is always my downfall lmao but I just feel like we ARE going to have that resolution, that even if there's no relationship at this time, they will know where they stand, that she can convince him not to push her away, that they are too important to give each other up. Whatever he's afraid of, they can brave it together! I WANT IT AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S SO CLOSE OKAY AND I'MA FLKJAFLKJAF AFLKJAFLKJAFKLA FLKJAFLAKJFLKAFJLAFKAFKLAFJAFKJFKAA

We were given two small asides about Nol's phone and the Bible, and I wonder if we'll be seeing those play out the 22nd. The phone is obviously coming in Kousuke's visit next week, but I wonder: does it even work anymore after everything that happened? It was still working after the pool fall, which feels like a miracle, but after falling from the second floor, after getting slammed around in the snow, now covered in blood, will it still be able to turn back on?! lmao I'm not sure what to make yet of Alyssa's messages left hanging like that, especially after walking "into the light" with Gun. There's the fact that she's off to some schedule, so could there be a chance for those dating rumors to come up that she has to strike down? On the one hand, they feel like they could be left hanging, which kind of feels so symbolic of their whole relationship lmao but. IDK!!!! At the very least it probably needs a charge LMAO but idk idk this is the area I get murky because I think it can go so many ways. I don't think Nol has any intention of breaking up with her at this time, especially because he'll probably try to use it as a shield against Shinae, but.... I've always felt the break up would come from her due to dating rumors. Especially because of how bad his reputation is at this point (violence, roofies which makes it sound like he sexually assaults people) it would be EASY for Alyssa's agency to spin it and make it sound like indeed, she does not have a relationship with him and in fact he has frightened her or something. They were even in public at the Christmas party arguing even on the dance floor, before what happened later so. Idk SOMETHING will come of that, I'm sure.

But I'm also hoping referencing the Bible means that maybe he will find it when everyone else has left and he's bored - especially if his phone won't turn on - and take a look at the letters Shinae mentioned, since he only thought there was the one.

This is really important to me, because I need Nol so badly to see how he stands in the same place his father did. I want him to be able to better understand his parents - how his mom stayed clinging to a married man who she could not really be with, how she uprooted her child and herself to move closer to him. How she tried over and over to be there for him, to try to support him, and Rand didn't allow it. How unlike Rand, Nol has less to lose. He isn't married, he doesn't have a child, a family. He doesn't NEED to stay in a relationship that will only suffocate him, that will turn him into a hollow husk of a man like Rand did. I NEED him to realize that he is on a fast track of following in his father's footsteps, in becoming this empty meaningless man.

I want him to see how Rand's feelings for Nessa never went away. Even after she died, he still carried her around in that Bible. In her letters, in the photograph of Nol. He carried her around because he never got over her. And is Nol prepared to live that way?

This is also why I'm perfectly fine with Nol and Shinae kissing before he and Alyssa break up, because I think it would help him better understand his parents - how Rand had a duty to his marriage, but he fell in love with someone who actually meant something, and how she was the love of his life that he never got over. To understand how his mom could be with someone who was married. For him to understand that feelings are NOT logical, that you can't really control them. He never meant to develop feelings for the girl his friend likes - but it still happened.

Maybe if Nol can understand them, it will help him forgive them a little, give him a tiny bit of peace. And hopefully help him to make the right decision, to accept the love people give him, and to face his fears together with them.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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raizenchonk · 1 year

Text

Johnny "Soap" McTavish NSFW alphabet

this is literally my first time making content like this 😭 sorry if it's a bit corny I'm not a professional at long pieces of nsfw writing but I love Johnny and I think he's cute so yah

Warnings: Smut and more smut, not pointed towards a specific gender since I feel like my fellow enby soap lovers need more love 😤

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

this man is your professional butler after sex. need a glass of water? already on the table. need a massage? he is READY 🙏🏿 I just think he's such a sweetheart

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

His: he loves his arms and is really proud of them, he works out a alot and loves seeing your cum all over his fingers after he's done with you

Yours: ngl, I see him as a thigh man. no matter the gender he is obbessed with your thighs and would love to bury his head in them all day

if you have big boobs (again no matter the gender) he likes those too, squish em, bury his head in them, cum on them, he loves it!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

he loves watching his cum drip down your thighs. idk something about it just makes him wanna turn you into a mess

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes imagining you and him having sex and drawing pictures of that and may even jerk off to it (Ghost almost found one of the drawings once)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he had a few partners in his past so he knows what he's doing for the most part, but is always willing to try new things

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

loves any position where your faces are close together or any position that he can atleast see your face, he just loves admiring you yknow?

second in place would probably be doggy style. just the thought of him gripping your waist and hearing your moans from in front of him turns him on so much

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Johnny knows how to give you a good laugh during sex. maybe your bodies press together and make a weird noise, he'll make a joke about that. but for the most part no. he's quite serious and takes his bonding (👀) with you really seriously

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

considering his job, he probably doesn't shave all that much. not that he's dirty or anything, he's really clean and smells really nice but no he doesn't really shave. I feel like he would have a happy trail but he's always willing to clean up more if you're not comfortable with his current state

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

like I said before HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART ❤️❤️❤️ always pulling you into deep romantic kisses and always asking if you're okay AHHHH I could rant about him forever

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

again, considering his job, he doesn't really jerk off that much. because 1.he barely has enough time or privacy 2. it's difficult for him to get turned on in the first place. not saying he hasn't jerked off on the job before, probably in a safehouse while thinking of you <3 but mostly no he doesn't really jerk off that much

when he's at home he doesn't usually jerk off either cuz he has you. but when he DOES it's usually in the shower or in his home gym when he sees your busy or doesn't really wanna bother you

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

to be honest I don't see Johnny as the very kinky type but that doesn't mean I don't think he has his kinks 🤭

I probably think the most noticeable kink he has is probably his love for edge play (tbh idrk if edgeplay is a kink but I looked it up and it said it was so🤷🏿) whether he's receiving it or giving it, honestly doesn't matter

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

the couch. now this might sound a bit random (and it is a bit random) but imagine that it was the first place you and Johnny ever had sex and he LOVED it and could not get enough of it. if you think the couch is uncomfortable he'll always be willing to move locations

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

when you say his name. I can't even elaborate JUS TRUST ME

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would not hurt you, I feel like everyone in 141 also agree on not hurting their partners. sure a lil spanking, marking and maybe even grabbing your ass so much the point it leaves a temporary mark, yeah he loves doing that! but actually hurting you to the point where you draw blood? FUCK NO

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

tbh I see him as more of a giver than a taker, sure he loves watching your tongue work wonders on him as you put him in a trance but I feel like he would be more turned on if he got the opportunity to hear your...louder moans? idk he just seems like someone who just likes listening to people's voices, and since your voice turns him on he could listen to your moaning all day

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

honestly I see him going fast on default. of course if it's your first time with him he won't go fast but would probably pick up the pace slowly. and of course if you tell him you don't like it fast he'll slow down! cuz he's such a sweetheart<3

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

honestly I don't see him as someone who likes quickies that much. again I can't elaborate but idrk I think he feels like quickies don't leave his partner satisfied and Johnny being Johnny would do anything to satisfy his partner.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Johnny's a pretty confident man, I see him as someone who's willing to take risks but not TOO extreme yknow, especially anything including weapons that TERRIFIES him.

Johnny is also kinda against sex in public, not cuz he's ashamed or anything but it's just a hassle. sure he'd grab your boobs (or ass), maybe tease you a little, talk dirty to you, but you'd probably have to be the one to initiate any kind of sex when in public

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Johnny can last quite a while probably like 1-2 rounds, but each round lasts so long because all he wants is to be as close to you as possible for as long as possible (especially when you consider his job)

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

owned a fleshlight for a while but had to throw it out, other than that no he doesn't have any toys, but would always be willing to try toys out if it makes you happy

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Johnny is quite the tease. his teasing are usually stupid jokes that are so corny it's funny. sometimes he edges you and doesn't really let you cum first try but since your his weakness he usually isn't a tease

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I feel like he would make kinda medium loud groans and grunts. I don't feel like he really focuses on being quiet either, honestly I don't think he's even aware of how loud he is lmao

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

he loves stretch marks, honestly just seems like a chubby person lover in general, he loves kissing your stretch marks before, during and after sex just loves you and adores you so much it's so cute :)))

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

errrr 6.6 inches kinda veiny (I'll do colour headcannons separately ;)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

you guys have sex a lot tbh. probably like 3-4 times a week. but other times is spent cuddling and him kissing you <3

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

he falls asleep quite quickly (unless you need aftercare) and just kinda cuddles with you in his arms he's just so UGHHHHHHH I LOVE HIM but he snores so fucking LOUDLY it's like you'd think he was doing it in purpose

anyways that's basically all I have to say, sorry if it was too short or too long? idk and sorry if it doesn't have a lot of detail 😔 all of these are just personal headcannons

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walkman-cat · 5 months

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hands up tell me abt Your star trek au right now!! on the double bro. what are the tensions it all looks too kind & magical i don’t trust it yet

(if it is literally kind & wonderful i am grateful i am thankful i am honored i’d just like to hear more)

-@jack-kellys

i'm ngl my star trek au au is mostly running on vibes wbwbwb so it is pretty kind and happy and warm (i just really like how much everyone in the enterprise's crew has such a respect and care for each other yknow. found family and all that innit).

that being said, here are some funky things about the characters ive been thinking about lately (under a cut because i'm incapable of being concise):

the stars were essentially jack's santa fe. he grew up surrounded by stories of starship captains and space and it became his lifelong dream and ambition to captain a starship, something which he dropped everything to attain. now he is captain of a starship– one of the youngest in starfleet's history– and it's wonderful and fantastic and he's never felt more alive! but there's always something gnawing at the back of his mind (he's based his entire life up until this point around this moment, it was a driving force and a beacon to look up to when times were tough. what if the experience is nothing like his dreams and he ends up disappointed? what happens when the mission's over? what'll become of him?).

also starfleet's assigned him a galaxy-class starship with families onboard and he's having a Time because of it (what if they get hurt under his watch. what if he gives the wrong order and a child dies. starfleet officers know the risks of space travel and are aware of this but the families. the children). other than that he's having a great time !!

kath's half-betazoid on her mother's side, but she never knew her mother nor has she ever been to betazoid (i really went woe! being mixed and only connected to one of your cultures but still being unable to fit in even there because of the fact that you're mixed be upon ye!). she's trying real hard to learn more about betazoid and who her mother is even though she knows she won't really feel like she "belongs" in betazoid either. she's working on understanding and using her empathic/telepathic powers more.

oh also!! pulitzer is a notorious and not-well liked admiral, when kath joined the acedmy she officially had her name changed to plumber and has since told no-one that they're related (this surely won't backfire terribly on her in the future)

also because this is the spot (cat) show, kath loves spot (cat) and wants to babysit her and play with her but alas. she is allergic to cats

race cannot catch a break– he's got a massive losing streak at senior officer poker night, spot (cat) hates him, he can't grow a beard but every time theres an impostor/clone/mirror universe situation the other version of him always has a beard (this is half in jest but also it amuses me wbwb)

jokes aside, i've been having a whole bunch of race as first officer thoughts (and a lot of riker and race parallel thoughts but. that's another story). i don’t really know how to explain it other than the way riker acts in the last episode of tng season two (yes, the riker montage episode) when facing death (joking around and keeping up the appearance of flippancy and courage in the face of agonising death because he’s first officer and there are people who look up to him and he has to set an example) seemed very race and very kony to me, in a way. (youve got this to blame for riker beard race. im not sorry)

race is also one of the first people to advocate for les becoming acting ensign. he makes it very clear that he's in les' corner and makes himself responsible for his studies and sometimes his training (and he teaches him poker).

OH ALSO! sarah and davey didnt know les ws going to be onboard and only found out about his presence after they'd set off. did he sneak onboard?? mayyyybeee (he just really wants to be a starfleet officer). after the initial shock (and notifying their parents) sarah and davey start the Let Les on the Bridge campaign (letting him watch the bridge from the turbolift, helping out in sciences and engineering, etc etc) the that eventually leads to les becoming acting ensign. it reaches a point where most of jack's senior officers would probably mutiny all for this kid.

there's more stuff but i'll stop rambling now because, again, i have a problem with being concise wbwbw. thankyou soso much for the ask rizz once again i love your star trek au so much and am always eager to hear more wbwbw!!! :D

#is it obvious that i've been thinking about this au maybe a wee bit too much #i have no plot but i do have the idea that spot (human) has a (adopted) klingon uncle he grew up with #the plot's just shenanigans and everyones pals and theres a cat near the warp core AGAIN #kath's experiences being half-betzoid growing up on earth without any connection to betazoid culture and never quite belonging #is kinda based on my own experiences growing up as half-asian but only having cultural ties to my greek family and stuff #idk my brain latched onto this and now i cannot let it go #idk why i felt that was important to mention but im mentioning it anyway #its real obvious im a tng enjoyer from this isnt it wbwbw #i have many other thoughts but they are minor and also this was getting reallll long wbwbw #that is all for now wbbwbwbw THANK YOU RIZZZZ WBWBWBW #very bouncy moment #newsies #jack kelly #katherine plumber #katherine pulitzer #racetrack higgins #les jacobs #newsies star trek au #answered #jack-kellys #this is a beast of a post im so sorry #once again thankyouu rizzz i love your au sm and im real happy you like mine wbwbw

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josouhenshin · 7 months

Text

day 1 part 2

prev post Index next post

Welcome to the map screen. Usually there’s various points of interest to choose from, but for now it’s just our apartment.

Back in the house, mizuki proposes they go clothes shopping for shinobu. He’s kind of trying to rush him out the door, probably before shinobu has time for second thoughts. But it’s too late. Shinobu wonders if it’s gonna be suspicious that two guys are buying women’s clothes. Mizuki retorts, well do you see anyone else here? Mizuki’s solution to the problem is obvious: crossdressing! Certainly it’ll be less embarrassing to go if it’s with a girl. Mizuki says he’ll go get changed, and breaks out the feminine-sounding sentence ending particle wa. Shinobu wants to watch but mizuki adamantly refuses.

While waiting, shinobu tries to imagine what girl mode mizuki will look like, but comes up dry. He worries what to do if he has a bad reaction to seeing her. Or what to say either way. But surely someone with a pretty face like mizuki should be pretty good at looking girly.

“Sorry for the wait,” Mizuki says.

Shinobu barely recognizes her. She’s so pretty he’s barely able to string a sentence together. He also comments that her way of speaking is more typically feminine too, though whether this is just down to phrasing or if mizuki has mastered the art of Up Voice is unknowable in this medium.

“Mizuki, you look just like a real girl,” shinobu commends.

“Shinobu... I’m not ‘like’ a girl, right now I really am one!” she says, having swapped to using the feminine first person pronoun atashi.

After shinobu bashfully offers some more superlatives, they head out. Shinobu feels tense. He’s trying to square the experience of being around someone that pretty but also knowing it’s mizuki. That, and he also gets the feeling people are staring. He asks mizuki what happens if they get caught, and mizuki brushes it off. If anyone’s watching, it’s because they look like an attractive young couple. This flusters the shinobu.

They get to the store and shinobu feels weird being the only guy around.

Mizuki takes point. “Obviously since it’s your first time, I should be the one to pick things out right?” she aks what kind of vibe shinobu would want to go for. Shinobu protests but mizuki just starts browsing.

He sticks to her as if his life depended on it. He feels totally out of place. Even though mizuki said they’d just scan as a couple, it’s kind of embarrassing. More than anything he just wants to go home. “Just pick whatever, let’s get out of here,” he pleads.

Mikuki brushes him off and keeps browsing. It’s important to choose the right thing for your first time. They keep wandering around. Shinobu is curious about everything too of course, but worries that something really bad will happen if he touches anything. But like, there *is* a lot of cute stuff.

Eventually they decide on some things and check out.

“Ehehe, thanks for buying everything, darling~!”

Shinobu becomes flustered. It’s unclear the extent to which shinobu understands that he’s being flirted with through all this but being omega dense in that way is par for the course sometimes.

“Anyway, next up is underwear,” Mizuki declares.

Shinobu stammers in protest.

“Crossdressing starts from the underwear, yknow!” She professes.

Shinobu really just wants to go home though, he was already feeling weird in the regular clothes store, but if he goes lingerie shopping she might faint. Mizuki agrees to call it a day and head back.

Back at the apartment, mizuki is excited to see shinobu try everything on. He does. Compared to men’s clothes the new stuff has a much more pleasant texture. And the skirt is kinda breezy. “So this is what women are always feeling.”

Mizuki yelps when shinobu finishes putting everything on. “I knew you’d be cute.” she urges shinobu not to look in the mirror yet, and offers to loan her a wig and do some makeup. But after this, she says, shinobu’s gotta do it herself. When she finishes, Mizuki admires her handiwork, and tells her it’s okay to look.

“Cute! Is- is that... me?”

Mizuki promptly chides her for saying boku while being a girl.

Shinobu thanks her excitedly.

Mizuki tells her to look forward to the next step: going out in girl mode. Shinobu is nervous, but mizuki assures her that she’s even cuter so it’ll be totally fine.

“You’re still looking in the mirror! Did you fall in love with yourself?” Mizuki jokes. She says that she has a present ready for shinobu once she’s finished. It’s a makeup kit. Just a little something to welcome her to the world of crossdressing.

Mizuki has one more thing to say: “If we’re out and we meet someone we don’t want to catch us, call me mizuho.” She continues, “you should come up with a girl name too.”

After thinking for a suspiciously short time, our hero comes up with “紫乃” which can be read a few different ways. Until the game makes it more obvious, I’m going with “shina” as the reading, but “shino” and “yukarino” are apparently also options.

“Shina? Well, nice to meet you, shina.”

Shina stays up late imagining all kinds of different personas she could adopt, and eventually drifts off to sleep.

prev post Index next post

#trans 2 #they're hitting so many genre tropes so quickly it's hard to keep track lmao

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arkus-rhapsode · 1 year

Text

So This is My Spoiler Free Thoughts on Fire Emblem Engage

This is definitely Awakening 2. And I don't just mean because its an anniversary title. But I mean if Awakening was the greatest hits of FE rolled into one game, Engage is the second volume to that. So much of Engage is a love letter to this franchise creating a story that tries to hit on some of the best plot beats in the entire franchise. Yes even if there are storybeats that are predictable they are executed so well. The amount of love this game has for this series is admirable. Some of the cutscenes and storybeats use the switch to the best they can in a post 3DS franchise though still limited and clipping because... yknow Switch and not a main nintentedo development team. But still expressive for something that has always seemed to be limited on its hardware. It makes me super excited for the next FE on the switch.

There is also some of the best immersive experiences in the game with a real stand out being chapter 11 which might have earned itself iconic status.

The characters are generally likeable though its about Awakening level in characterization, though I did notice that this cast honest gets along super well together and it makes sense as this continent hasn't been drenched in conflict till now. Awakening, Fates, Echoes, and 3H all sorta start in a pretty cold conflict worlds.

Now storywise, Alear was good. Its been so long, but we have a protagonist with not only a personality, but an arc. I knew I like Alear the first moment I saw them be genuinely scared of the corrupted and as the story goes (even if you can predict it at points) Alear genuinely grows as a person and they do seem different from what they are. Yes, I get it they're the super special awesome, but yknow what this starts you off with that and builds the plot around so you can focus more on the characters. Honestly, Alear really doesn’t feel like an insert avatar, instead they feel like their own person that you just pick the gender of. And Honestly, I love it.

The Villains were pretty standard FE, but goddamn the FOur Hounds might be one of the best four-man villain team in FE. Zephia in particular.

The acting is pretty great. Adding a lot of heart to every performance. With the one who absolutely crushed it was Megan Taylor Harvey.

If I had some criticisms, the emblems themselves really are kinda tools and their rules really are played fast and loose with. Also they leave me a bit confused on how they exist. However I think their paralogues are at least some fun fanservice. That said they are basically just tools. Im glad its not really "their story" like Chrom in Awakening is the real protagonist, but I definetly felt like their existent could be replaced with any old legendary weapon.

The music is also kinda a bit off for me. There are some tracks I really dug, but nothing stuck out like Echoes or 3H. Probably my favorite is the Solm music. The Four Hounds track Im not sure if I like or not.

As a mark against the characters, we do have a fates problem where there's a two royal siblings in each country, but only the older siblings get plot armor. That wouldn't be too bad but they also come with two retainers each so there's some cast bloat. I know its to give you more options.

The difficulty curve also gets insane near the end. Thank god resources and the time rewind are limitless because boy some of these maps are unforgivable. The worst in my opinion being chapter 24s.

Also there's only one paired ending and its who you chose to pair with, which sucks. But hey maybe you'll avod getting a weird ending. Speaking of pairing this game's supports generally felt way grindier. If you are just looking for Alear supports, spam gifts on the Sommniel. But for anyone else, get ready to basically solve a pairing puzzle.

Now I came in with managed expectations before the game had come. I was gonna use Awakening as my meter stick as its the only other anniversary game. So I didn't expect this to be some deep political, game of thrones style story. So I found this expirence very nice for what it was.

Fire Emblem Engage is like a big budget popcorn flick of a game. Its got questionable mechanics or story points, but the real substances is giving you this exciting journey that shows off big impactful moments wrapped up in a pretty package. Basically it is an MCU movie mixed with a Fast and the Furious movie. And yknow what, I will take something that wants to be a fun and passionate romp over something trying to be epic and serious and complex that ends up not capable of pulling off that momentum for the entire run and leaving you unsatisfied wondering what could've been done differently . And

honestly... with the romantic fantasy, the over the top animeness, but still able to make a cast you care about and story you do get invested in even with some cheesey but endearing writing... That's classic FE right there. That is some Kaga-level FE. We just added different fashion

Fire Emblem Engage is a fun game and if you are a fan of the franchise, I think you will enjoy it if you want to get on this wild celebratory rollercoaster.

#fire emblem engage #fe engage #fee

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sunset-bridge · 11 months

Note

asks your thoughts on akeshu. go. be free and be a hater - 🍾

THANK YOU GUYS for enabling me. thank you thank you..

ok so like,,,,it's just, i think their genuine rivalry is like. sooooo much more interesting than a normal ass romance,, and like thats rich coming from me cuz im honestly such a grand romantic i love to wax poetic about sweet nothings and the other etc. but like. helloooo

true kibouheads will remember my rival poll from a bit ago. truth is ive been that way my whole life ahahah i always seeked out someone to be "rivals" with at school or otherwise,,, like i cant live without having this cool ass person i can both look up to but that also challenges me to get better and always try my best yknow... but like an important part is that i feel its always someone that. Gets me you know. i hope i dont sound insane but . people think in different ways u know and some people kinda see things a bit similarly to you and so you feel more connected to them. well like that. finding someone that is like that to me is..... quite the amazing feeling. some of my friends also feel like that to me; someone who gets how i think because they see the world similarly but yet a biiit different so we can share our experiences...people you can talk about anything with for hours and hours and never get bored. i feel like this is a form of real love and im not fucking joking . have u had ur rival give u a compliment or tell u happy birthday ...... WAHOOOO over the moon

ANYWAYS when i was playin p5 at first i didnt think much of goro (unbeliavable i know). but then when i started doing his social link i was like. um. erm. HELLOOO its like. points at screen 🫵🫵🫵 rivals. helloo. YES??? like . i feel i dont see too much appreciation for this kind of relationship EXACTLY because a lot of the time it gets reduced to romance or normal friendship when its so muuuuch more than that.

for anyone that hasnt had a rival its not like normal friendship,, theres this element of strange freakazoid obsession going on and also admiration and dare i say a streak of jealousness !!! at the risk of sounding delulu i will say it occupies a different and special niche compared to a friendship or a romantic relationship. its a different thing that u cant replace!!!

so yeah it was like. finally a weirdo relationship for freaks like me. im seen...yyyyyes. sooooo imagine my disappointment when a lot of ake shoo content reduces them to just plain romance HELLOO wheres the freakazoid content. this also goes to the other extreme where they make it seem like they Completely hate eachother when like. uh. yeah they do not obviously... like just read the dialogue helloo

also because a lot of romantic ake shoe woobifies goro soooo much (NOT ALL obvs but. a majority). like helloooo thats not my freak thats some random twink,,,.. i think this is more for gorogirls sorryyyy its true. i had the tragedy of seeing Things on google images while trying to look for a fucking Gorb png T__T

i also understand the desire to see him more happy but we cant fall on the "fandom takes guy whos a cunt and draws them happy 100% of the time and then kinda starts to forget canon" etc... happy goro is awesome cuz its so rare. its what makes it Sting yknow

anyways. theres also the thing that i see the p5 protag really differently from a lot of people apparently but i dont think that affects this issue toooo much. thats another can of worms

thank you :3c

#thamk you #im not tagging this obvs #ask #anon #bottle anon #hiiiiii

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tempenensis · 11 months

Note

hi Lele!! i’m a curious person by nature and venture into all corners of various fandoms, and what i’ve noticed in specifically jjk fandom is that, the cursed ship s/t/s/g is treated as a default ship. like, if you don’t ship ss, you are homophobic, illiterate and all other sorts of words. but other ship fandoms don’t behave like that? like literally every other jjk ship fandom is relatively chill, yknow? they don’t care whether you ship their ship or not. i mean, of course there are always exceptions, but st/sg takes it to a whole other level!! it’s basically treated as canon, and that kinda annoys me, because that is what illiteracy is!! not the other way around…

and then, if you don’t see Gojo or Geto the same way as them, they say you mischaracterize them…and what recently went down with Mya on twitter was exhausting!! i try and try to block every tweet about him, but it’s impossible!! i wish, if he truly is so hurt by everything that happened, he stops posting leaks all together.

i feel like there is only a few people you can talk to about Gojo and Geto without romanticizing their relationship and that makes me sad. i enjoy shipping as much as the next person, but you have to have a limit!!

Oh, wow, anon, I admire your bravery. I'm too scared to interact with any jjk fans in twitter, shippers or not. But I guess it does stem from that particular ship because everytime I look up for jjk content using english keyword, I can't escape from it. That's why I prefer to lurk in jpn fandom, since they are better at separating ship content.

Honestly from my experience, a year ago, the fans' behavior of this particular ship wasn't this bad yet. I even could still scroll pass it. But now I barely can stomach looking at the ship without being reminded to the fans behavior. I guess the echo chamber effect makes it grow worse by the day. The scientist side of me is actually interested in how this behavior grows to be so... wild, somebody should make a study out of this phenomenon lol. Sadly, I'm not in the right field

A year ago I really couldn't have imagined that this fandom would be like this. Now I wish the manga ends soon. All I can do for now is just to strongly recommend that fans leave each other alone, especially other fans who doesn't ship the same thing.

#le-ask #st//sg

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