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baekhvuns · 1 year

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I do agree RM doesn't always know how to play Barca, but they used to know, like AGES ago a the beginning of football so what happened 😭 Bayern needs to teach them, remember when they defeated Barca 8:2 in 2020 💀 I also remember them winning 7:0 or something. Yep Ancelotti is not it... 🔫

⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ what was that Al Nassr vs PSG game lmao, just pure clownery

Since I'm older you should also respect me, meanwhile I'm faced with so much disrespect!

Ok thanxx, I have one video on Harry saved from a person I'm subbed to, but I'm gonna ad these two as well

I was never a huge fan of SuperM, but at least their songs have some substance, GOT is just so mid or bad lmao, it's sad to see. Even the choreography and performance wasn't great, ehhh.

Speaking of SuperM, Yangyang posted an edit photo of WayV, only 6 members and Lookass stans got so maaaaaaad. YY always at the scene of the crime, good for him 😅 OP deleted her stupid ass tweet, but this

I just had this webtoon saved for months and didn't expect it to be so fun, also didn't expect Eunhyuk to be so sweet and </3 so it's not confirmed, but I know it's true, he has terrible parents and his mother hurt him, so now he's deaf in one ear, no one knows about it, we just get the hints. I didn't see them at first, but now it all makes sense 💔 Like they were listening to songs together and he couldn't hear, but pretended to 😢

The HP movies got better in terms of quality and story-telling over the years, but I have a very soft spot for the first two movies, I used to watch them on... VHS

Idk if you watched Red Eye with Cillian and Rachel McAdams, but man looked so pretty and fucking terrifying at the same time

Red cards for fansites god I wish!

I know people who own snakes! My mother used to hate them and she's still not a big fan, but once she touched a snake she was pleasantly surprised hausuahahahaha

When people tell Shakira "you're pushing 50s, grow up" yeah she's petty, but I support her shenanigans, because Pique deserves it 😊

BTW WHAT IS THIS

Seonghwa didn't wear that YSL brooch to be omitted like that...

Hoshi x Usher? Another random western artist x kpop artist interaction lol

Baeeek why would you I'm a cannibal actually

Did NOT expect a place called Brampton to look like this?! Pretty sure there's a park in Newcastle called Brampton

Breathtaking shit

This photo is sending me into the oblivion. Yeah it does for sure

Omg hoooold oooon. And when we make a webtoon character based on Park Seonghwa so we don't have to headcanon him as every single guy skdjeiehhedhdh

Soohyuk x Hoshi dating rumours?! - DV 💖

helllo!!!

EVEN AT THE BEGINNING OF FOOTBALL BESTIE those 1920's copa del ray's got barca at 15-1 and 10-0's 😭😭😭😭 nAHHH BAYERN IS SOME MONSTER IDK WHAT THE FUCK THEY GOT AGAINST EVERYONE, BUT I BE MISSING THEM MATCHES BC THOSE ARE HUMILIATING 😭😭😭 maybe now that we have lewa, their top scorer and xavi's way of playing maybe we can do it 😭😭 but dortmund is the only one who can teach bayern a good lesson <3 yeAHHH ancelotti changed the playing and it clearly is not working w them, and now it's psg v bayern, i have bare to no hope in psg bfdfhgf they're moody asf <3

NOOOO THE PSG AL NASSR WAS SO STUPIDLY HILARIOUS FOR RONALDO 😭😭😭it wasn’t a friendly, it was PERSONAL 😭😭 bro scoring the penalty like it was the world cup in a FRIENDLY but what a day, top 3 football players of all time on the same match and on the same field for probably the last time <3 end of an era truly, from 2008 to 2023 but they had fun, giggling on the field when ronaldo scored fdhsjfjbm did u hear about the chelsea signing the ukranian neymar going to chelsea AND HE FUCKING PLAYS LIKE HAZARD ANON!!!! and juventus downfall ✨

Since I'm older you should also respect me, meanwhile I'm faced with so much disrespect! /// Ok thanxx, I have one video on Harry saved from a person I'm subbed to, but I'm gonna ad these two as well

sorry im a little blind

either way it’s pretty fucked up book with him telling secrets that are not his to tell 😭😭 tbh made me feel bad about charles, he’s emotionally closed a little and harry diminished every time he tried hard to show his fatherhood!

Baek coming in 2 weeks, I swear it was 2 months not so long ago. I liked a few recent Exo's b-side, but I haven't listened to them in ages tbh. Shinee tour... you mean, 5 concerts in Seoul and 5 concerts in Japan? 😭 //// I was never a huge fan of SuperM, but at least their songs have some substance, GOT is just so mid or bad lmao, it's sad to see. Even the choreography and performance wasn't great, ehhh.

2 WEEKS. 2 WEEKS, OH MY GOD OUR MESSIAH IS COMING BACK 🤲🏻🤲🏻😭😭 the 2 year wait is finally over 😭😭😭 the bsides were def better! i keep coming back to the tempo era songs,,, oasis is just different 🤌🏻 NO SERIOUSLY ITS ALWAYS THAT AND THEY GO OUTSIDE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THIS IS NOT FAIR i do not get what it is with sm not having their bg’s not go outside asia for concerts except for nct,,, like tvxq ever coming america???? no seriously at least their songs had a little oomph to it, convinced it is bc of taemin baek and kai taking initiative otherwise it would’ve been a got2.0 <3 no yeah the stage presence isn’t there and the whole BoA being 🔫🔫 comment 3 ate her up ngl 🤚🏻

WAIT NO WAY??? no cause id be pissed to, one member ruining the career of the entire group and I CANT POST A PETTY PICTURE??? well damn 🤨 common w for yangyang <3

i am sorry what.

him trying to listen to music with her is so 😭😭😭 STOP I KNOW ITS SAD BUT THAT IS SO SWEET STOP IT 😭😭😭 STOP IT I STARTED AND IM ALREADY 📈📉📈📉📈

The HP movies got better in terms of quality and story-telling over the years, but I have a very soft spot for the first two movies, I used to watch them on... VHS //// Idk if you watched Red Eye with Cillian and Rachel McAdams, but man looked so pretty and fucking terrifying at the same time

you're right!!! BUT THE FIRST TWO UR CORRECT they're always the best ones; maybe it's bc everything was starting, it's nostalgic and magicay,,, something so comforting about them,, LMFAOO NO WAY ON VHS??? u have the physical copies, im gonna collapse,, I HAVE NOT BUT I HAVE WATCHED CLIPS OF IT,, cillian murphy is the definition of intimidating beauty it's not even funny,,, im so vv executed for oppenheimer to drop and scream over him and the insane cast <3 BUT DO U REMEMBER MICHEIL HUISMAN IN THE AGE OF ADALINE !!!!!! HE’S !!!!!!! SO !!!!! GODLY !!!!! I WOULD DIE FOR THAT MAN

Red cards for fansites god I wish! /// I know people who own snakes! My mother used to hate them and she's still not a big fan, but once she touched a snake she was pleasantly surprised hausuahahahaha

bodyguards should start carrying them, it would confuse them and then u push <3 omg how does it feel like, squishy? leathery??? 😵‍💫 i wish u could see my expression right now, it’s something like this:

When people tell Shakira "you're pushing 50s, grow up" yeah she's petty, but I support her shenanigans, because Pique deserves it 😊 //// BTW WHAT IS THIS

they all say that until it’s their turn and they end up in jail 🤨 pique deserves every bit of the pettiness, no one likes him,,, messi’s wife supporting miss shakira they def knew his jerkass,,, STOP IT HFMWBDKSHDKW THATS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭😭 THE INTERNET NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

Seonghwa didn't wear that YSL brooch to be omitted like that... //// Hoshi x Usher? Another random western artist x kpop artist interaction lol

NO BECAUSE THAT MAN REPS YSL MORE THAN ANY IDOL, WHERE 🤨 him having those edits of waving and walking in between ppl with guards by him, when is it our turn to experience this. no do u rmr the ailee and ch*s br*wn thing 💀

Baeeek why would you I'm a cannibal actually //// Did NOT expect a place called Brampton to look like this?! Pretty sure there's a park in Newcastle called Brampton

LMFAOOOOO <333 i support this type of cannibalism only <3,,, it really looks like italy flew over ☺️☺️☺️ but it's genuinely a trashy place unless u live on the rich side, WAIT NO WAY??? we have a london, surrey, victoria, bath, edmonotn, oxford and paris too, u guys got a westminster too no?? THERE'S EVEN A LIVERPOOL HERE IM CRYING

Breathtaking shit //// This photo is sending me into the oblivion. Yeah it does for sure

he’s SO ethereal, AND THIS??? the hair in this is so

SEONGHWA??? IS AN UNCLE????? FBWNDH and if i cry 🫡

Omg hoooold oooon. And when we make a webtoon character based on Park Seonghwa so we don't have to headcanon him as every single guy skdjeiehhedhdh //// Soohyuk x Hoshi dating rumours?! - DV 💖

onG THAT ART IS GORGEOUS ?????£~€]&$£?!? i saw this the other day and thought it was a hwa 😭😭 I SUPPORT THIS COUPLE VERY MUCH, THE LOUD AND THE QUIET, IM INTO THIS, DISPATCH WHERE ARE U

anon😭😭

saw this the other day and thought of your friends dream 😔😔

do you remember this day, thus started my bbhwa obsession actually

😭😭😭

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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kinktae · 4 years

Text

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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msgrumpygills · 3 years

Note

So I’m kind of new to the fandom. I’ve been casually watching the show for a couple years now but only recently got into the fandom side. And I have to say, never in my life have I seen so much drama and toxicity in one place. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m enjoying the drama though lol.

Before I start though, I personally believe you can make anyone sound problematic if you try hard enough, we’ve all done and said stupid things, but when you decide to become famous you should be ready to be held accountable for the smallest things, not saying it’s right. It’s just how things are unfortunately.

So far I’ve decided that I just don’t like Jared and Danneel,did you know she used the same bullying tactics that Jared has used? I saw a screenshot from her story where she called someone out for... being mean to her? I can only hope the poor girl is ok after her dms were most likely flooded with angry stans. And she just seems so tacky, it’s really obvious if you take a look at her tweets from a decade ago, this woman does not have the potential or capacity to be any kind of famous.And honestly I think one of your anons were right about J2 being trumpies, especially Jared, I was looking for dirt on him and the guy said in a tweet that cracker is a slur? So far everyone I’ve met who had those kind of ideologies turned out to be somewhat of a racist so idk. As for Jensen, he seems to be a bit smarter in the sense that he knows when to stay quiet, but I think he’s probably the same as Jared. I think I remember him making a joke right alongside Jared when he was making that chloroform rape joke. And I think he said the N-word in his last panel with Jared? I think it was a fan’s name. I’ve been told he got the name right the first time and then practically said the N-word the second time around. I do think J2 are closet republicans who are trying to seem progressive because that’s what sells these days.

And Gen, she just seems so... uninteresting? Like I have no desire to know anything about her, unlike the others. But your blog helped out a bit with that. I still think she’s boring and uninteresting lol. I honestly think she should’ve just tried to get a role without Jared’s help. It probably would’ve been real hard, but earning a role through nepotism will not help her career if she decides to ever have one again. But then again, I remember thinking her acting paled in comparison to Katie Cassidy’s, who also played the character Ruby the season before Gen came along. So good luck to her I guess lmao.

So far the only one I’m unsure about is Misha? I mean you’ve got the hardcore Jared stans and the hardcore Misha stans, from what I’ve seen, both sides are extremely biased, and frankly, they all look like idiots from the outside, and they both have completely different beliefs. But you seem to be a bit more level headed, so I thought I’d ask you,tell me all the dirt. What are some of the shitty things he’s done? And I’m sorry this got so long.

The Supernatural fandom is one of the worst fandoms to be in. One of the big reasons that I stopped watching the show was because of the fans, I’ll be honest. But yeah, it is kinda fun to watch the drama, as long as you’re at a distance and safe!

I absolutely agree that anyone can be problematic. Hell, if I became famous and people found my old tweets or Facebook posts, even Tumblr posts, I’d probably be “cancelled” or called out. I’m not a terrible person, but we’ve all been young and dumb and we’ve all been embarrassing, that’s just part of life.

Danneel has absolutely been a bitch, there’s really no nice way of saying it. Fans have had horrible experiences with her in real life too. I think if she was more active on social media again, she’s still be showing her true colors, but she’s not active really. I do remember Jared’s “cracker” controversy and like....I try not to be political, but really dude? I’m white and I don’t consider cracker to be racist or a slur. It’s ridiculous to me? I’m no History major, but I don’t recall people using cracker to describe white people who were considered “lower than” others.

Jensen is overall a lot smarter than Jared, but he has made mistakes still. The difference is that Jensen apologizes, he holds himself accountable, and he changes his behavior to make sure that he doesn’t make those mistakes again. No one is perfect, but at least Jensen can own up, take responsibility and change. Jared....well we know Jared.

Gen is....well you said you’ve seen my blog, and there are other “antis” here who can shed even more light. She’s uninteresting but thinks she’s the bee’s knees.

Don’t be sorry about the message getting long! I’m famous for being long-winded, so you’re among friends!

Misha is......Misha. His fans are absolutely insane (I know there are some normal ones) so any sort of negative backlash against him is usually buried. I’ve made a few posts about him and why I stopped really being a fan of his, but I will try to summarize!

I started getting kind of turned off to him around the 2016 election because he was bombarding social media with politics and I just wasn’t there for it. A lot of fans came after me for that but that’s their prerogative. I actually started seeing some anti posts on here and went down a rabbit hole of things that I’d looked past or didn’t know about that all mounted up. Some of those things are; (I don’t have links for everything because the one blog that had compiled everything together isn’t active anymore, but someone might have screenshots!) Also in no particular order!

Misha admitting to leering at kids at a playground while preparing for his role in Karla.

Having his young female fanbase send him pictures of themselves only wearing cheese bikinis or kale swimsuits, etc. for GISHWHES. I know some people think “it’s just a goofy scavenger hunt” but if it wasn’t Misha Collins, would you want your barely legal sister sending pictures of her only wearing cheese to a 40 something year old man?

His constant blatant disrespect for Jensen and his aversion to Destiel, his baiting of the fans and complete abandonment of Jensen when he gets the backlash.

He baits the Destiel fans to the point of them making Jensen uncomfortable, then when Jensen puts his foot down, the fans attack him harshly. Where was Misha for that? Silent. Even though he was the one who eggs everyone on.

Being rude, sexual, and otherwise inappropriate in front of children at conventions. I know fans will say “it’s not his responsibility to monitor kids!” but the fact that he continues to act like that while knowing there are kids in the audience is weird. I wouldn’t be making sexual jokes or being lewd in front of kids, that’s gross.

His whole “charity” act that is really just him profiting from his “kindness” acts and his GISHWHES hunts. Pretty charitable of him.

The fact that he uses Stands to push baiting merchandise onto fans with no regard to how Jensen feels, just to make a buck. (In addition to that, he doesn’t reign in the Stands staff who are horrible to fans and customers.)

I’m sure that there’s more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment! Hopefully that sheds some light! I try not to be too biased either way, but with some of the things it’s hard not to.

#grumpy answers #misha collins #jared padalecki #anti genevieve #Anonymous

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heavcnslyre · 3 years

Text

ricky bowen x reader second series!! part three

— (continuation) starstruck au!

first series | series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

IN WHICH you return to school on monday to a million questions from your friend, gina porter.

WARNINGS swearing

NOTES i’m not a fan of this chapter but i rly wanted to update so i apologize if it seems rushed!!! next chapter might be more texting? idk lmao enjoy!

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!

lowercase intended

( tags: @hesvoid34 @omgdani17 )

monday morning when you walked to your locker, gina approached you immediately. “so?”

you gave her a funny look and opened your locker. “so what?”

“you told me you’d talk to me about why you’ve been so m.i.a lately!” she said. your eyes widened and you closed your locker.

“did i?” you asked innocently as you walked down the hallway. gina groaned and ran down the hallway behind you.

“(y/n), i know you guys are together,” she said. “what happened at the dance, then the fact he’s always interacting with your tweets?”

you didn’t look at her. “gina, can we talk about this later?”

“yeah.. of course. i actually wanted to bake something tonight, you could come over and help,” she offered. you nodded.

“yes! perfect.”

“you better tell me everything, though,” gina said. you laughed nervously, but she didn’t seem to notice. you trusted gina, of course, but you had agreed to keep your relationship to yourself until ricky could say something. you pulled out your phone once you sat down in homeroom.

you replied to him with hearts as the bell rang for the end of homeroom. you sighed and got up from you desk, preparing yourself for the day.

during your free period, you went into the bathroom so you could call ricky. it had been a couple hours since his meeting was supposed to start, and he had been active on twitter, so you assumed he was done. the phone barely rang once before he answered.

“hi love! i was literally just about to call you,” ricky said as the call connected. you smiled.

“so? how did it go!”

“great, i think!” he said. “they loved the song and they said they’ll get me a chance to record it within the week!”

“ricky!” you exclaimed. “i told you it would go great! i’m so proud of you!”

ricky chucked. “thank you, seriously. i never could have done this without you.”

“well, the song is about me,” you teased. as you said this, someone came into the bathroom. you made eye contact and cleared your throat awkwardly. “hey, i should go. my free periods almost over.”

“oh, okay,” ricky said. “wait, but didn’t you want me to call you?”

you swore to yourself. “um, yeah. can we talk about it later?”

“absolutely,” he said. “call me when you get home?”

“of course. talk to you soon,” you said and ended the call. the girl came out of her stall and moved to wash her hands, giving you a funny look. you smiled at her awkwardly, then hurried out of the bathroom. it was weird to have to sneak around while talking to him, but you had a feeling that even when the public knows you’re together you’d keep it to yourself. you obviously know what you’re getting yourself into by being with ricky, but it is your relationship, and there were certain aspects you were hoping to keep to yourself.

after school, gina found you at your locker. “hey, wanna just come straight to my house? i drove to school and i know you didn’t, so i could just give you a ride.”

you nodded. “sure. let me just text my parents.”

you texted your parents and asked if it was okay, and they didn’t mind. you followed gina to her car before remembering that you still had to talk to ricky about telling gina about the two of you. you wouldn’t have a chance to call him, so you decided to just text him.

“—ingredients for brownies and cake... (y/n), did you hear anything i said?” gina laughed. you looked up from your phone, your eyes wide.

“sorry! i was just—”

“texting ricky?” gina teased. you blushed.

“yeah.”

gina grinned. “i expect to hear the entire story!”

“bake some brownies, then i’ll give you information,” you said. she rolled her eyes playfully.

“fine.”

you filled gina in on everything as she mixed together the brownies. she listened intently, only saying things when you paused. you told her everything— from your trip to california to up until he left from new york.

“that’s... wow,” gina said when you finished your story. you smiled sheepishly.

“yeah.”

“and, he’s announcing your relationship when common sense comes out?” she asked, sitting on her counter across from you.

“yeah. but i talked to him and he said if i trusted you, so did he,” you said. you’d known gina a majority of your life, and you always wished that you had been better friends. she moved in middle school, but when she moved back in the beginning of this year, you reconnected instantly. she was one of your closest friends, even if you were sort of spotty with how often you reached out to her.

“that’s... (y/n), i’m so happy for you. you really seem to glow when you talk about him, if that makes sense.”

you blushed and rubbed your face. “thank you, gina. he... means a lot to me. i’m lucky to have him.”

“hun, he’s lucky to have you,” gina winked and you both burst into laughter. you spent the rest of the night watching movies and playing games at gina’s.

#high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #olivia rodrigo #ashlyn caswell #bowen #joshua bassett #ricky #ricky bowen x reader #drivers license #hsm the series #ricky bowen starstruck au #sofia wylie #nini salazar roberts #ricky bowen #ricky bowen headcanons #gina porter #hsmtmts fanfic

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woozi · 3 years

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the thirst tweets yza 😭😭😭 i cannot. as much as fun this was, we were so close to getting jaebs with cats <//3

headlocking sk 😭😭 DJJDSKSK i would stand there like wonu clapping in the soop, for you <3. it's hindi ( actually it's my 2nd language but i speak in it the most w ppl outside of family djdjdjk ) my mother tongue is almost dwording djdjdkdk </3 i think im last gen who still speaks it, kids these days only know hindi or english.

ALSO!!! the footwork in senses choreo???? i liked it sm <3 yugyeom makes it look so easy to move like that?!?

same jdjdkddk godddd sometimes it takes a month to complete a drama which i like and started on my own will and sometimes it only takes 3 days. it doesn't matter how much i love something if i won't watch it, then I won't watch or consume it at all 💀.

ohhh, i've known jamie as an after school club mc first and singer second. like there was this time i was suddenly obsessed w eric nam's before we begin album i think around that time i first listened to one or two songs of jamie ( it was all spotify's doing jddjks) but then i forgot abt both and went back to listening to my regular ones. honestly i feel like i've gotten to know and appreciate jype artists ( those i know ) more, only after they've changed agencies it could just be me or my timing tho djdjdjh. have you listened to hanbin's solo album? honestly it's been no.1 album from 1st half of 2021 for me. i was not even looking forward to it or even knew djdjsk but i'm so glad i did i really like the songs & lyrics.

almost whatever jackson has released after mirrors has been to my taste leaving few bsides here and there. i love lmly <3 idk why for some reason i tend to mix pretty please and lmly up a lot djdjsk maybe it's bc of white tee and jeans. both mvs concept and songs are fantastic but if i have to pick one w/ mv & only considering the song, i do love lmly a little bit more then pretty please. wbu? <3

mark kept saying ' when we go back ' during the live so i got more confused each time, went on twt and got to know djdjdk. twt list of both svt & got7 of update accounts is like my newspaper, in free time i open it to see what is going on, sometimes jdjddk.

and of course i know abt woozi's cover <3 i've listened to it a lot jdjdksk he's so <//3

i could listen to his voice all day.

there is one cover of 10 cm hoshi dropped last year i like it sm <3 it made me so happy!!, around that i was obsessed with some of 10 cm's songs. help is one of my most favorite.

i really really wish for dokyeom to cover more day6 songs or just any songs </3 would really appreciate one from mr. joshu_acoustic too 😿.

did you see the way dokyeom woke up with a smile on his face in 5th in the sopp ep <//3 he's so precious 😭 (i'll try to link next time idk links go through asks tho djjddj sometimes tumblr eats it up). i don't even know what a smile is for first 2 hours after i've woken up. also i think i like this (sk coming and karaoke one - 5th) ep a lil more bc of that half minute of singer cheol it served us. i need him to sing more omg <//3

the soop song tho it's so sweet 😭💕. i love love how they brainstorm and make songs it's such an interesting process. i love what going seventeen is now but i miss watching the song making & recording process (even rho they do show it in inse after cb but jdjdks). the one where they made gose song, recorded it and made choreo/mv i love. it's still remains as one of my most favorite ep. they compose & write songs so smoothly & make it look so effortless <3

thank you for letting me ramble abt silly little things and responding to them, yza <3 love hanging out w/ you. i hope you're also having fun djjddj (i'll try to keep these short fr 😭 djdkdk i feel a bit bad for making you read so much nonsense :3)

take care of yourself, yza <3 sending good week wishes. - 🪂🪂🪂

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE JAEBEOM READ THIRST TWEETS BEFORE MY VERY EYES WHICH ALTERNATE AU IS THIS 😭

also mood tbh we could've gotten something like jacks' puppy vid </3

LIKE WONU CLAPPING FJKDJKFDJFD in true infj fashion <3 wait naurr that's so sad </3 do they not teach it in schools?

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDD house king show us ur fancy moves <3 as a fellow dancer i am throwing him my shoe rn <3 also i literally have never seen smth like this in kpop how did people fucking sleep on this icb it..

I FULLY RELATE HELLO????????????????? what dramas have u been watching? and which genres are u into? <3 i also just finished vincenzo today it was so good 😭 took me like.. a week, i think (?), though bc svt has SO MUCH content and i dont like being behind on svt shit esp bc i also run an update blog lmaooo 😭

WAIT I FORGOT SHE ALSO DID EMCEEING 😭 she's such a fun person </3 AND ERIC NAM FDKJDFJK i have one-sided beef w him lmao when he was still new to the scene he would reply to everyone's @s but he never replied to me so i felt v .. </3 (also this is what.. 13 year old me speaking so this def does not reflect how i feel abt him now JKJKFJKDFF) i also get that </3 i feel like jype doesn't manage them well (i dont know shit behind the scenes and shit abt the industry in-depth but u know... it Kind Of Shows esp w how the artists themselves speak abt the agency lol). and i have not!! i am truly a svtpoppie 😭 i will though bc u recommended it to me <3 i also have been seeing him frequently on tiktok lol, ALSO BC OF LEE HI!!

honestly i haven't been keeping up w his albums anymore just the title tracks so i cant say much 😭 i also def prefer lmly over pretty please i was actually obsessed w it for a while!! i love jackson's vision so much though, the cinematography is EVERYTHING

literally reading abt what our boys have been up to like reading the morning paper KJDSFKJDSJKSJKD

V GOOD FOR U TO HAVE COME ACROSS THE COVER... I JUST DISCOVERED IT BY ACCIDENT 😭 also i have to agree although i definitely do not want to admit that i am more than willing to listen to some man sing to me all day 😭😭😭😭😭 jihoon's voice is just... different to me for some reason. i have a hard time picking between him & seokmin tbh </3 hbu, who's ur fave svt vocalist?

ALSO YES THAT WAS SO CUTE OF HIM!! AND V ON BRAND TOO </3 the way u listen to 10cm..... im giving u an award rn <3 im guessing you listen to k-indie too?

DK THOUGH... I'M VERY MUCH WILLING TO ADMIT THAT I'D LISTEN TO HIM ALL DAY.... something about him... AND NOT THE JOSHU_ACOUSTIC FJDJFDJKFD 😭😭😭 i hate his username so much- why... WHY...

I DID!!!!!!!!! and i was so surprised too bc.. who wakes up smiling?????? what'd he dream of???????????? he's such a happy person i cant imagine what thats like 😭 the first thing i do when i wake up is make the >:| face JFJKFDKJFD also oh my god i just read that you're experiencing the same thing 😭😭 bestie trait!! KJJKFDKJFD ALSO YOU COULDN'T BE MORE RIGHT?????????? im always campaigning for vocalist coups im SOOO glad u feel the same way <3 his voice is just so comforting to me </3 idk i just really like his timbre

and v true omg i'm always fascinated to see how they actually work all this out!! the bts recording/choreo making vids are also my favorite gfkjdfkjdfj HOW ARE WE SO SIMILAR WE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME PERSON 😭also jihoon in that gose behind vid........... in universe factory............... i still think about that Look from time to time... 😭this is also why i respect the boys sm tbh. everyone in the industry undeniably works so hard but to actually get this much creative freedom and to basically lead the group and their direction music and performance-wise is so insane to me... no wonder jihoon's always in his studio. i couldnt be happier that they get to live off of doing what they like im also so so proud of them they must work so hard <3 esp w all the content they're giving us.. icb it's always like this in caratland im so used to being an ahgase that gets like.... 1 cb a year😭

AND NOOO OMG DON'T BE SORRY I REALLY LOOOVE GETTING UR MESSAGES </3 and i love how lengthy they are makes me feel like ur just not making small talk (i hate small talk sm 😭) and that you're actually interested <3 i genuinely love bonding w u through these little asks i can never thank u enough for sending them <3 i hope ur having a lovely week as well!! u can always talk to me even if it's not kpop related and u just want to talk abt life or when u need some cheering up <3

#🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021 #you know that Read More means especially a saga even by my standards lmfao

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starsstillshine · 3 years

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watching s15 live (live...ish?) pre-covid was A Time. the beginning of the season was filled with excitement and angst and general positive buzz. i had irl friends be like ‘oh, last season? damn dude. i heard it’s actually been really good. lmk how it goes’ bc articles trickled down to anyone vaguely online. and it WAS good. the plot was engaging - hello breakup arc, chuck bullet/sam’s hope, jack and billie????, reality/destiny/free will. and the characters were mostly fun or thoughtful or wrapped up loose ends and played into the plot/character development well.

and then. AND THEN. march covid shutdown. the covid induced midseason finale 3.0. this was already after the actual midseason finale 15x08 and then that weird february break that started in s13 that just made everyone antsy and kinda annoyed. Show returned then ended again with 15x13 destiny’s child - jack, soul restored, sobbing, begging for forgiveness. swelling music, cut to dean, cut to black. dabb coming on twitter to say rest assured, we have to take a break in airing bc we can’t finish post, but there’s only 2 episodes left to film, everything will be Ok. unexpected hellatus, world ebbs and flows between bad and worse and sometimes better, so it goes.

Show returns. last 7 episodes a bit like disjointed whiplash? why are we having filler, odd lore retcon and lots of new plot developments but ok, oh this character development is good, wait nvm this is so ooc, wtf is pacing idk her, etc. Show ends, we lived thru it, y’all were here, i’m not rehashing that. my brain has been in a blender since end of october. but the point is that most of the live tweet reactions of the last 7 episodes were largely what the fuck this is the end what are you doing we have limited time left for a 15 season show where are we going. it made little sense while it was airing live. 3 really slow mostly filler episodes followed by 3 insanely fast paced episodes and then the finale. we came back from hellatus that started with an unintentionally gutting midsession finale with curiosity and excitement and anticipation, and were met w a wall of wtf? (particularly remember 15x16 did not have some good reactions lmao). hindsight really is 20/20 bc looking at those episodes after the finale makes them make sense, in a bad way? there are now several instances that come to mind of this being like oh, so you were prepping us for the finale, i think? basically the whole sam and dean and cas in a way are going to die forever this time type of thing. looking at these episodes now feels like the characters were trying to be pried away from us to make the let down softer. “last holiday” was already a red flag by its title alone, but then something like 15x16 felt so wildly out of place as a throwback motw that just ended with sam and dean arguing. 15x16 annoyingly needs it’s own post, bc for how much i want to throw away that episode it was a signal of like oop, there’s a wedge between sam and dean, wonder what will happen w that (hint: it’s death!). cas was either not around at all or just wasn’t interacting w sam and dean.

the episodes felt weird not in a covid fucked this up kind of way, which is only true possibly for the finale, but this was the ending all along kind of way that only makes sense in hindsight. if the covid break hadn’t happened, idk what my thoughts would’ve been if we got a straight shot to the finale. but having 15x13 as the pause and then the last 7, it felt confusing and half assed and like a let down to an otherwise really fun season. they feel like two completely different seasons, and the first part was significantly better. it leaves an overall sense of unease that i really can’t shake and just makes me keep thinking over and over about what happened and how the ending of the show was somehow the intention all along (bc it was for some reason) and the choices made were done so to distance beloved characters from the audience so that such the finale wouldn’t feel as brutal, instead of giving a satisfying ending that does justice to its characters and their stories

#supernatural #spn #spn finale #spn s15 #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #this is long #does this make sense?#it’s 4am and i’m feeling unsettled what’s up #so fun fact s15 is actually what made me really dig my heels back into spn fandom during the breakup arc for coda fic in december 2019 #always been vaguely around on twitter but that was a Wow moment #it made me love how much this show made me feel for tfw and friends #s15 was good until it wasn’t and then i got sad and then i got heartbroken and trampled on #isn’t that the moral of every season lol #covid isn’t the scapegoat we wanted it to be #cue “well... how did i get here”#i’m barely thinking in a straight line rn but the ending was always the ending and it would always be bad #felt like they tried to let us down by distancing us from the characters with batshit plot not in a good way #cant be mad at a finale if you don’t like your characters #15x16 15x17 and 15x19 just really make me go... huh? esp 15x19 #the au where the show ended at 15x19 and i was confused and annoyed but not 15x20 outright distraught and pissed #ratting around in my head as a larger tie in to how spn isn't so much the hero's journey as the hero's tragedy #all these shows that think they're better than a happy/sad ending trope aren't and made their own worse unsatisfying ending trope #your hero isn't batman and batman is annoying shut the fuck up your gritty ending sucks #that post about how you shouldn't think you're smarter than your audience if you can trick them. it just means you're bad at narrative

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bb-bambam · 4 years

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a decade with jjp

well, here we are at the end of 2019, which means that it’s been a little over 10 years with jjp. this is a compilation i put together of (most of, but definitely not all because i only really went through my blog and my twitter!) the jjp moments we’ve had the privilege of seeing over the past 10 years. i tried to put them vaguely in chronological order, but there were just so many that it was sort of hard to keep track! i hope you find your favorite moments here, and are reminded of some that you’ve forgotten about! (i know i definitely was!)

here’s to a wonderful decade of smiles, laughter, and happiness with our resident soulmates, and we hope for many many more!

predebut

the fateful audition that started it all (x)

bounce era

back in their awkward stages (x)

jaebeom teasing jinyoung (x)

they’ve always matched well (x)

jaebeom’s happy birthday song for jinyoung (x)

jaebeom singing that he loves jinyoung before cracking an egg on his head (at 7:45) (x)

flirting on twitter (x)

jaebeom feeding jinyoung (x)

shopping date (x)

their promise to make a second album (which would eventually come true 5 years later!) (x)

ggg era

jaebeom being soft for jinyoung even when they were on opposing teams (x)

jj dads w their baby youngjae (x)

hugging each other after pretending to fight to prank yugyeom (at 6:50) (x)

their fingers lacing together in a weirdly intimate way (at 13:50) (x)

a era

sharing a shirt in the “a” dance practice videos (x)

being cute in a corner by themselves (x)

jinyoung’s thank you note to jaebeom (x)

flirting during a fan event (x)

never forgetting their roots (x)

stop stop it era

jinyoung comforting jaebeom (x)

holding hands (x)

weird flirting (WHAT was jinyoung looking for?) (x)

jjparents (x)

the time jaebeom manhandled jinyoung to the ground and they both looked way too happy about it (x)

jaebeom exposing himself on instagram and trying to delete the evidence (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s (favorite) annoying dongsaeng (x)

not exactly a jjp moment but jackson being a jjp shipper (x)

just right era

jinyoung being extra for no reason (x)

their simpsons couple rings (x)

jaebeom feeding jinyoung (and then licking the same hand?) (x)

jealous jinyoung (x)

mad era

their iconic ceci photoshoot (x)(x)

being cute before the comeback stage (x)

jinyoung flirting with jaebeom (x)

clingy jinyoung (x)

the first sukira game (u all know the one) (x)

and what’s more, jaebeom puckered his lips (x)

this video where they were all over each other (x)

jinyoung declaring jj project as his one and only unit (x)

they aren’t close, they’re deep (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung by touching his hand (x)

jjparents w their babies yugjae (x)

when they almost left jinyoung behind but jaebeom made sure they didn’t (x)

holding hands (x)

jaebeom thirsty (it’s the second tweet in the thread!) (x)

miscellaneous moments (including jinyoung calling jaebeom “jagiya”) (x)

fly era

domesticity in a restaurant and jaebeom feeding jinyoung (x)(x)

checking on each other onstage (also i kind of went off in my tags?? lmao) (x)

communicating w their eyes (x)

jaebeom knowing exactly how jinyoung wants to confess (x)

the second sukira game (including a comparison to the first!) (x)

jaebeom being absolutely whipped and letting jinyoung get away with anything (x)

them being cute and touchy (x)

jinyoung between jaebeom’s legs in the car?!?!?! (x)

jaebeom helping jinyoung wear his blindfold (x)

the softness in this vlive (x)

jinyoung being a “ghost” and jaebeom being whipped (x)

a hug for jaebeom for getting a strike (x)

jinyoung being needy (x)

them being domestic in front of everyone on vlive (x)

jj dads w their baby yugyeom (x)

when they went on this show JUST to be domestic (x)

jaebeom thinks jinyoung is the prettiest (and lowkey admitted he likes jinyoung crossdressing?) (x)

unnecessary clinginess (x)

fly tour

jinyoung doing The Most when jaebeom wasn’t there for their concerts (x)(x)(x)(x)

jaebeom watching jinyoung with utter fondness (x)

jinyoung being so incredibly happy to have jaebeom back (x)

jjp on a walmart date (x)

jjp on a pizza date (x)

jjp on a family shopping date w their baby bambam (x)

jjp on a family aquarium date w their baby bambam (x)

hard carry era

this 20 min vlive where it was just them being cuddly (x)(x)

their wedding day (x)

whipped culture on asc (x)

them being…like This at a fan event (x)

bookworm boyfriends (x)

communicating w their eyes (again) (x)

jaebeom singing prove it to jinyoung (that song was written for jinyoung ok) (x)

jaebeom LOOKING DIRECTLY AT JINYOUNG while talking about marriage (!!!!!!!) (x)

jjp describing each other as their ideal type (x)

the start of jinyoung calling jaebeom “jaebeommie” (x)

jinyoung demanding appreciation from jaebeom (x)

jjp talking about their feelings when jaebeom was injured (x)

sharing an umbrella (x)

i just really love this pic. jinyoung adores jaebeom so much (x)

jjp soulmates confirmed by mbti (x)

no one knows jaebeom like jinyoung does (x)

more couple rings (x)

in their own world (x)

jinyoung singing happy birthday to jaebeom (x)

jinyoung thinks jaebeom is the most handsome (x)

jaebeom telling jinyoung to sit on his lap (x)

again…them in their own world (and the lip thing) (x)(x)

this fanmeeting skit (x)

singing “my home” to each other (x)

never ever era

touchy at the airport (x)

their embarrassing moments are shared because their pasts are just too intertwined (x)

jaebeom touching The Butt (x)

jinyoung biting jaebeom’s cheek (x)

soft touches at a radio show (x)

jackson calling them out (x)

jaebeom again letting jinyoung be informal (x)

jinyoung doesn’t match with anyone but jaebeom (x)

bambam instigating jjp moments (x)

jinyoung always takes care of jaebeom (x)

they share shampoo (even though it’s not okay when mark uses it) (x)

coffee date (x)

yugyeom facetiming his dads (x)

they ACTUALLY almost kissed (x)

whatever THIS was (x)

jaebeom playing with the holes in jinyoung’s jeans (x)

jaebeom losing suspiciously easily to jinyoung at a bar battle (x)

jaebeom letting jinyoung win at arm wrestling (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung from touching his butt (x)

jaebeom thinks jinyoung is the funniest man alive (x)

verse 2 era (<33333)

they filmed in hokkaido which is a place jinyoung always wanted to visit (x)

cuties talking on the phone (x)

this whole interview (x)

jjp in the bathroom then vs jjp in the bathroom now (x)

they’re just so soft (x)

tomorrow today (stream verse 2 and this mv!!) (x)

the iconic mirror choreo (x)

holding hands and looking super happy about it (x)

jj project is jinyoung’s home-like space (x)

their tombstones will be side by side (x)

they can’t keep their eyes off each other (x)

the depth of their relationship is just…wow (x)

jealous jaebeom (x)

photographer bfs (x)

always complimenting each other (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s favorite dongsaeng (x)

they drink together (x)

talking about soulmates (little did we know what jaebeom would do 2 years later…) (x)

their special relationship (x)

marriage (x)

their shared bookshelf (x)

kings of domesticity (x)

jinyoung is jaebeom’s cat (x)

jaebeom inviting jinyoung into his room (and jinyoung loving his cats!) (x)

even more couple rings (x)

jaebeom calls jinyoung “youngie” confirmed (x)

jackson telling us what we already knew (x)

jjp’s photo essay (x)

7 for 7 era

the jjp imagery in the you are mv (x)

clingy jinyoung part 43762 (x)

jinyoung getting away with everything as usual (x)

idk what THIS was but (x)

jinyoung being incapable of shutting up about jaebeom while he was in the jungle (x)(x)

jaebeom getting hot and bothered bc of jinyoung on camera (x)

these cute pictures (x)

always always in their own world (x)

jaebeom serenading jinyoung with “face” (x)

editors always acknowledge the soulmates (x)

lest we forget: jaebeom looked at jinyoung like THIS in the middle of running a food truck (x)(x)

eyes on you era

jinyoung recognizing jaebeom by touching his ear (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung by touching his chin (x)

jinyoung can do ANYTHING (x)(x)

jjp married (x)(x)

jaebeom getting flustered (x)

this little thing they always do when they perform “look” (x)

jjp domestic (x)

jinyoung loves nora okay (x)

ice cream date (x)

they really want each other to strip (x)

informal jinyoung again (x)

they’re just so. soft (x)

always looking out for each other (x)

they love taking pictures of each other (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

eyes on you tour

jjp on a paris date (x)

jjp dancing together in nyc (x)(x)

secret flirting onstage (x)

jaebeom checking out jinyoung’s entire butt (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

lullaby era

don’t send them anywhere together (x)

complementary rings (x)

business as usual for them (x)

jaebeom staking his claim on jinyoung’s birthday (x)

looking at each other (and doing the lip thing!) as yugyeom talks about first loves (x)

jinyoung does not fear jaebeom at all (x)

jaebeom cannot lie to jinyoung (x)

miracle era

onstage flirting (x)

jinyoung’s fave songs are the ones jaebeom writes (x)

they make each other soooo happy (x)

one of my favorite sets of pictures ever (x)

literally married (x)

literally married pt 2 (x)

jinyoung through jaebeom’s eyes (x)

JB GA DAISUKI (x)

jinyoung waiting for jaebeom (x)

another serenade courtesy of jaebeom (x)

jaebeom being a (probably) biased ref (x)

jinyoung can talk to jaebeom about anything and jaebeom wants to have his last meal w jinyoung (x)

another ice cream date (x)

jj handshake #847348 (x)

focus on me era

happy to be together in the airport just before jus2 promotions and jinyoung’s drama (x)(x)

jaebeom making the jus2 showcase a jjp event for some reason (x)(x)(x)

jaebeom turning jus2 promotions into a jj project promotion period for some reason (x)(x)(x)

needy jaebeom (x)

finally reunited! (x)

eclipse era

jinyoung gives jaebeom a sense of security (x)

jaebeom’s cheeks are too cute (x)

eyes always on each other (x)

jinyoung getting away with informality part 397843 (x)

THEY’RE! SO! SOFT! (x)

hugs! (x)

jaebeom said jj project is forever (x)

bambam supports! (x)

jjp on the best friends episode of plof together (x)(x)

jjp on radio apart (x)

jaebeom likes being in jinyoung’s arms (x)

their got2day which was just them being soft (x)

JJP SOULMATES (!!!!!!!!) (x)

keep spinning tour

flirting onstage again (x)

they know everything about each other (ft. an interview from 2018!) (x)

holding hands at the airport (x)

it was fitting that they were chosen to make up a handshake (x)

very close at the airport (x)

giggly and tipsy (x)

thailand always gives us the moments we deserve (x)

selfie time! (x)

jaebeom always looking after jinyoung (he wasn’t feeling well that day) (x)

jaebeom being smug abt having jinyoung all to himself (x)

sharing secrets onstage (x)

ycmn era

jaebeom leading jinyoung offstage (x)

jinyoung being clingy again (x)

pda as usual (x)

everyone ships it (x)

jinyoung thirsty (x)

wanting to be with each other after got7′s first daesang win (x)(x)(x)

possessive jaebeom at the mamas (x)

jinyoung teasing jaebeom and jaebeom being whipped (x)

clingy jaebeom (x)

so smiley (x)

clingy clingy (x)

softest in the world (x)(x)

flustering each other (x)

jinyoung cute jaebeom sexy (x)

photographer bfs again (x)

jaebeom wants jinyoung all to himself (x)

actually what was going on w them on this day (x)

spending 10 years together looks like this (x)

dramas

dream knight (x)

dream high vs. dream knight (the tension…) (x)

when a man loves (x)(x)

compilation (x)

unknown/multiple eras

jjp are happiest with each other (x)

sharing secrets (x)

the happiness they get from each other… (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s fave dongsaeng (x)

sharing a jacket (x)

sharing a sweater (x)

compilations and miscellaneous stuff

compilation of jjp just knowing it’s the other (including by touching jaebeom’s inner lip…) (x)

compilation of jinyoung vs. jaebeom battles that jinyoung always wins (bc jaebeom is whipped?) (x)

compilation of jaebeom laughing bc of jinyoung (x)

compilation of pics of each other (x)

compilation of jaebeom being literally incapable of controlling himself (x)

compilation of all their “kisses” (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

miscellaneous soft moments (x)

miscellaneous underrated moments (x)

and last but absolutely not least, this submitted list of further jjp nonsense (x)

#jjp #jinyoung #jb #got7

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lila-sarows · 4 years

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tct ep 13!

Trying my best to catch up before the last of the episodes arrive! here it is, the episode i’ve been waiting for since the start of the podcast. lots of thoughts and spoilers below!

Theory - Ben’s thing is energy transfer and this group is trying to make new atypicals... maybe they’re working on a way to take an ability from a person and put it in someone else?

Ok so the book is a combination of Blackwell’s empathy and Beck’s ability to see people’s pasts, created back when they were still working together. I wonder what happened to the original alchemist though?

Apparently there’s a Neil now. Guess he’ll pop up again at some point!

Ok as a fellow strung-out college student I really empathize with Caitlin. She’s been through a LOT lately and missing a test is a terrible feeling

Did I tear up at the flashbacks all 3 times I listened to the episode? Perhaps!!! It’s beautifully written, it’s in character, it shows so much time and depth in just a few lines, the music is perfect, and the voice acting is incredible. The pause between “I’ve never been this happy... ... Caleb?” kills me and I’m still thinking about it 4 days later. Also, the way you can hear them both hoping the other will talk them out of it! I die!!

It sounds like Adam was having doubts about whether Caleb trusts him (since Caleb’s clearly holding something back) and then Caleb misinterpreted it, as I guessed earlier. On that note, Caleb... I thought we talked about you making unilateral decisions for Adam’s happiness :(

I’m so glad tct tweeted the music for this part bc I’m going to just play it on a loop and sit in my feelings

Ok as beautiful and emotional as the flashbacks were, can you even IMAGINE being a full grown adult and suddenly being slapped in the face with years of deeply personal teen romance drama?? Like what a way to meet someone lmao. I would be so awkward around Adam and Caleb after that

Can people please stop promising to keep Ben safe it’s giving me anxiety

Hey here’s a good reminder that I love Mark. He’s such a good person to his core!! Doing his best to take care of his gaggle of kids and even check in on this random professor who he just met. What a guy <3

Aaa i was not prepared to hear Damien again. Eugh even when they’re bantering there’s always this undercurrent of menace for me considering, you know, the circumstances

Also it’s been literally years and I’m still filled with rage when I remember how Mark was convinced that Sam was imaginary

“What flavor of trauma was it this time” sdfsgddf how is Mark’s dialogue always right on the line between sad and hilarious

I really hope that talking to someone else who knew Damien is helpful for Mark. There aren’t a lot of people who can relate, or who can even discuss Damien, so maybe this will be good for him?

Other thoughts:

I give up on keeping track of the secret societies, and their relationships to each other. If one of them is doing something shady I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually

While I’m sure they’ll get back together, I’m wondering how Adam can ever convince Caleb to trust that Adam loves him independently, as a choice. Until Caleb learns to control his new ability, how can you ever know for sure? Idk maybe he’ll learn some tricks from Blackwell on how to manage it :/

Also, I know I rag on Caleb for not communicating, but I do get it. Even with a boyfriend as supportive as Adam, that would be a terrifying thing to admit to someone else, especially considering their history with Damien. Part of me wonders if Caleb broke up with Adam not just to protect him, but also to avoid the pain of Adam potentially being scared of him or rejecting him

I’m honestly so relieved that their breakup is like, plausible. From the very first episode I was worried that the eventual explanation for the separation wouldn’t make sense and that it would disrupt the whole foundation of the show. Thankfully, the breakup really does track with these two boys’ previous issues with communication and feeling like they’re ‘not enough’ for each other. We love consistent characterization!!

Please excuse me while I go listen to “Against the World” on repeat and cry :)

#tct #tct spoilers #the college tapes #the college tapes spoilers

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fleabaged · 4 years

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Ok but like.... what loose ends plot wise were tied up at the s3 finale? Sure we get hope for villaneve but we still don’t know shit about the 12, who Eve is, what carolyn’s deal is allegiance wise and who she knows and just so much more. Sure we know villanelle doesn’t want to kill and wants to do whatever now but that and blossoming villaneve is really all we got. And Kenny’s death was stupidly unnecessary because we got no concrete answer & Geraldine was useless & annoying

Ok so when I saw this yesterday and read “still don’t know shit about the 12” you inspired a tweet in me

I’m including that it did numbers to prove we are not alone!!!! lmao. Idk what’s going on there and I just hope the stress of the 12 leads to villaneve sex- somehow?

I have this whole thing I want to write on about Carolyn but I’ve been LAZY but I def think her allegiance will be more explored in s4.

Now don’t get me wrong I could mostly give a shit about a plot hole/ lose plot ends because this show is character driven first, not plot driven. And they can continue on like that next year especially if villaneve share a storyline. But if it’s not villaneve driven AND I still can’t make any sense of the 12 well 😤 just color me confused !!!

#asks

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justaconfession · 4 years

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RE: I wish people were more honest about their intentions.

Honestly I’d been wanting to say this for a couple of days, but that tweet felt like the sign I needed. Although I know it’s not going to excuse the length of this post so I’m really sorry about that! I am too paranoid of something coming off wrong and explaining the contexts or reasons I do things helps me feel more secure in typing my thoughts.

To save you the trouble of reading the whole thing, the TLDR before any details of this whole thing is just going to be me saying that, If i’m being honest about my intentions, I still do have a crush on you, but that never meant I didn’t want to be friends, and even though I think ultimately we won’t talk more after this I hope you know I’ll always be wishing you well and don’t blame you for anything!

Now to put some context behind that, because I can’t just leave it alone...

I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest for my mental and emotional health that I cut you out of my life. Nothing about you is toxic for my health, but I’ve done some extremely unfortunate erosion of my self confidence and esteem throughout the years that I tried to be your friend. I mean I know that we are friends, which I was thankful for, but obviously as my aforementioned crush could probably help you determine, I wanted to be more than the kind of friends we were.

I should mention, me admitting I have a crush on you maybe makes it seem like I never saw you as a friend first, and I can only hope that isn’t what you believe. As you one time mentioned, we’ve known each other a really long time when you think about it, and for the majority of it I was more than happy to be your friend and nothing more. The biggest issue (my issue not yours or ours or anything) came from the later years. After knowing you for so long, seeing you go through different relationships, hardships, and seeing you grow up, it was really hard not to develop a crush on you.

So after a long while into our friendship, I wanted a chance at more. And when I say more I don’t mean dating. I wanted to be better friends. The type of friends that talk every now and then. Text, or call if you prefer. Check in on work/school/family/etc. Basically not just avatars who like and react to posts on the internet. However, I felt like if I was too forward about that or tried to force it too much, It’d come off as just another guy trying to “get to know you,” and I’m sure we both know that 90% of the guys that do that are trying to get to know your body, not your personality.

So anyway, as you know, I never made any strong advances the entirety of the time that I knew you (until that letter one day of course) and watch you find love, endure heartbreak, and come out better for it, every time wondering to myself if I should play a little less coy and try and make any forward movement in our friendship.

But I never did, and I think that’s where I messed myself up the most. Because it got to the point, especially a couple months from when me and Brianna broke up and I was at my loneliest, that I started getting a little too in my head.

The whole reason I have a crush on you is because everything I know about you just seems to be so in line with my personal beliefs and values, and you’re like one of the only people that I only know online but I know you’re 100% authentic and genuine and modest and wholesome as a person.

I actually didn’t want this to turn into me making a case for why I like you so I’ll stop there.

But anyway, that letter I sent was like my last ditch effort and you were very nice and understanding in your handling it, I don’t know another person who could have done that, so thank you for that. Ultimately since it didn’t result in anything though, I thought that we could just be friends and leave it at that.

But sadly, I can’t really do that. At least not now.

I wish it didn’t sound so pathetic, and so absolutely unwarranted, but every time you tweet I actually have to have an internal battle within myself of whether or not to comment or like it, just so I don’t come off as a simp.

And you really tweet a lot lmao.

So my days would sometime end with me feeling really terrible that of the 8 tweets you tweeted in a day I liked 8 of them, because the thought of you noticing and thinking anything odd of it is too big a blow to my confidence. I know you’re a super SUPER nice girl, and a lot of what I tell myself may be in my head, but I can’t seem to overcome it.

The fact that I can’t comment on them either without feeling guilty that i’m trying too hard to start a conversation or make you laugh is just unnecessary strain I’m putting on myself. And it’s even worse when you don’t reply or like, even though I KNOW it’s because you’re really REALLY busy these days, and have way more too do, I just get in my head like you’re trying to drop me a hint to just stop.

In writing this I realize I’ve just got some serious issues, and I know that, and I did a lot of self reflecting in the days before writing this too! I won’t bore you with all of it, but one of the biggest take aways I had while looking inward was realizing even though I’ve had this crush on you for so long, I’ve made no progress in making myself someone who is desirable himself.

It also helped me to remember to include this part, which is that NONE of this is your fault. I hope you know that, but I know you’re such a good person you might try to convince yourself that you’re at fault for some of this. Please don’t :)

There was one time one of your facebook streams, that you told someone you didn’t care about looks, and that really set me off, because I thought maybe I really did have a chance. But I never took the time to realize even if I don’t have looks, I didn’t have much else to offer, so there was no reason for you to look my way really.

I also used to get a little angry that I always treated you so nicely, and it never amounted to anything, but I finally had the epiphany that my “niceness” wouldn’t stand out to you because I’m sure everyone treats you nice, especially since you are so kind yourself, it’d make sense that the people you keep around and attract are probably just as accommodating and polite, at least with you.

So I really want to thank you for treating me with dignity and respect and kindness our entire time we knew each other, and for unknowingly teaching me a lot about myself and how I can improve.

I’ve always wished I could tell you all the complicated tidbits to this giant ramble so maybe you wouldn’t think i’m totally insane, but I don’t want to sound like I’m making a case for you to date me, I truly don’t deserve that in my current form. But because I’m absolutely hopeless, I will mention that if you ever want to indulge me, please feel free to reach out! Although I plan on taking a break from social media so idk how you’d do that lol if you still have my address from the letters maybe just send me a letter! I harbor no ill feelings or hopes for you Jessica, I really hope that’s clear. I have nothing but adoration and respect for you, and I only wish I hadn’t played my cards so poorly in the many years I knew you.

If you really made it all the way to the end, thanks so much for hearing/reading this small part of what I’ve always wanted to tell you.

Best wishes always! :)

#Confession #Lengthy #Sorry #Rambling #Thoughts

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rockettransman · 5 years

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Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

#like if you read pls #noah.txt #rocketman #elton john #rocket man #bernie taupin #richard madden #john reid

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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To All the Characters I’ve Overly Identified with Before: Borderline Personality Disorder and Attachment to Fictional Characters

It’s been a month, and I’m still not over how Game of Thrones ended. I’m still not over the way that a character who, throughout the previous seventy something episodes of the show, was only ever ruthless towards people who were deserving of her wrath (within the context of westerosi justice because let’s not forget everyone’s favourite man of honour Ned Stark decapitated a young man for running for his life in the first episode), suddenly massacred a whole city in the penultimate episode. I’m not over the way that writers who spent the previous seasons showing that they were capable of translating the moral ambiguity of George R.R Martin’s characters from page to screen, got lazy and left us with a character whose actions became impossible to defend right as the show was ending. I’m not over the way that such a beautifully complex character who endured so much hurt and trauma was reduced to nothing more than a “crazy woman” by a couple of male writers in her final moments. I’m not over the fact that Emilia Clarke put her heart and soul into the character and did everything she could to bring Daenerys Targaryen to life for David Benioff and Dan Weiss to both literally and figuratively assassinate her.

I think those feels have been felt by a lot of Game of Thrones fans since the show ended. God knows I’ve watched enough youtube video essays and read enough articles and liked enough tweets reiterating the sentiment. Daenerys Targaryen was, in my opinion, the best character on Game of Thrones. I wasn’t angry because she didn’t end up sitting on the throne (though my boy Drogon made sure nobody else ever would either and I guess I can get behind that), I was angry because all the balance that made her character so great was thrown out the window in order to progress the story of her male counterpart and bring a show that probably could’ve done with another 2 seasons to an end. Dany has always had a dark side, she is the “fire” that the title of the book series refers to, but throughout the show, we’ve never seen her indulge that side to the point of no return. We’ve seen her wrestle with it and use it to exact punishment on those who deserve it when needs be, and that was part of what I liked about her. Not to go all feminist essay on anyone’s ass but we don’t usually get to see women in TV who are celebrated for their powers of intimidation, and I liked how prior to season 8, the narrative never made female characters like Dany or Arya or Brienne out to be monsters for killing people the same way that basically every single man on the show did at one point or another. I liked that sometimes she was a little excessive because it made sense, she did have “dragon” in her, and she still had lines she wouldn’t cross, clear values and principles; she fought for the innocent, for women and for children, and for freedom. On a personal level, I loved her because we watched her go from a lonely, scared and vulnerable girl to a strong, ambitious and self-assured woman and that was a trajectory I wanted to relate to.

And then all of a sudden, without any justification or build up at all, she’s a mass murderer of the same “downtrodden” people she always claimed to fight for. Fuck, I’m thinking. I literally watched that episode through my hands because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. When I say I cried on and off for about 3 days after I watched the final episode, I’m not exaggerating; I only need to see a screen cap now a month later or an interview with Emilia Clarke and I’m off again. It literally felt as if I was mourning the loss of a real person. But this isn’t the first time I’ve had this kind of attachment to a character. Daenerys Targaryen was probably just the last in a long list of women I overly identified with.

I’m not much like her at all really, I’ve burnt myself from taking the film off my microwaved lasagne and not moving my thumb away from the hot air in time (lmao), however, I think I saw parts of myself in her journey and traits that I wanted to have, thus, I latched on. Before Daenerys Targaryen there was Spencer Hastings and before her there was Cassie Ainsworth and then if we’re gonna throw it all the way back, there was Hermione Granger (and some other characters I was more mildly obsessed with along the way, Katniss Everdeen, Bree Van de Kamp and Cosima Niehaus, I’m looking at you). I still love all those characters now but when their respective shows or films were actually current, I was completely obsessed. I spent my 16th birthday at the Harry Potter studios on the outskirts of London with my family, forget birthday parties or meals out with my friends. I wished more than anything that I had 2 best friends that loved me unconditionally and I did my best to emulate that drive and intelligence and work ethic everyone associates with Hermione. I told myself I was just like her even though I lacked the confidence to put my hand up in all but one of my classes and last time I checked, was just trying to conquer GCSEs not fight an evil wizard snaked hybrid man or whatever Voldemort is. I identified with the loneliness and the need for control that I saw in Cassie, and was like “oH eM GeE, tHat’s sO mE!” at Spencer’s perfectionism. When I was speeding for my exams (and then, unfortunately, for long after), I felt spiritually connected to that whole Pretty Little Liars arc where Spencer started popping adderall on the daily even though I could really only wish for someone to care about me enough to stalk me like A did and the worst possible outcome of my all nighter was not taking in enough content to bullshit my way through a 30 marker.

They would understand me, they would be my friend. They represent me. That was the baseline sentiment of my obsession. And I think that’s the borderline part of me jumping out. See, such a huge part of BPD is feeling unwanted and misunderstood and forgettable and really, deeply lonely. Like it’s a kind of loneliness I think you feel like an actual person can never really fulfil because the (faulty and not necessarily reflective of reality) thought pattern is that they’ll lose interest and leave you sooner or later. Fictional characters are always there, until the show gets cancelled or the character gets killed off, at least, and then comes the completely disproportionate tidal wave of grief. They exist in a different world too, a one that feels a lot less dangerous (even if it’s actually way more dangerous, I mean I really wouldn’t last five fucking minutes in Westeros) and detached from the often chronically muted reality of BPD.

Then there’s the trouble with the sense of self, part and package of BPD for most, which facilitates, you know, thinking that a genius witch or, like, any character in skins (because in hindsight as great as that show was, WHY DO NONE OF THEM HAVE JOBS YET SEEMINGLY AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF DRUGS AND PARENTS THAT NEVER SEEM TO CARE WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE!?) resembles you as a person in any way. Though I suppose I’m learning recently as I begin to reflect more on what I enjoy and value, I’ve never had much more than a vague idea of what my positive qualities are, so when I saw them fully realised in a character it was a treasure trove of mannerisms and traits and ways of carrying oneself to adopt. It becomes a mould into which you can squeeze the ball of meh-ness and uncertainty you feel you resemble. Now I’m realising that although it might take me a little more time and a lot more effort, it’s much more rewarding to become the very best version of myself, but back then, I suppose I didn’t recognise why I was doing what I was doing.

I only got diagnosed with BPD and started learning about it when it was 19, so all the years before that were pretty much spent unaware of the reasons why I had these quirks. As I “recover” (I suppose that’s the right word) and I get back into hobbies and spend more time with friends, I feel like I’m beginning to discover more and more of who I am. I’m starting to accept that there are positive things about me and plenty of things for people to like, right here in this world, not some fictional one.

I still love characters way too much and get overly attached and invested in TV shows but even that doesn’t necessarily have to be something to be ashamed of. When I’ve got into *ahem* discussions with people online about characters before, I’ve occasionally gotten the “why do you care so much, it’s not real life!” in response, and I mean, there’s definitely a point to be made if your passion for something is causing you to lash out at real life people with real life feelings. But when you’re not, when it can give you hours of discussion and entertainment and can drive you to make real positive changes in the world too, what’s wrong with passion? There’s nothing I love more than having a conversation with someone who I can tell really loves what they’re talking about, so why should I be ashamed of having the capacity to become deeply invested in things too? I think as long as it’s not taking over my life as I have allowed it to do so in the past, there’s nothing wrong with having passion for fictional things or for anything, for that matter. As long as it’s not something fucked up, like idk, white supremacy or Rick and Morty (JOKING).

I don’t regret loving all the things I loved because being a huge Harry Potter fan for so many years did give me an escape when I absolutely hated myself and couldn’t find much enjoyment in real life. I hope that if I do have children one day, they’ll love it too, maybe not quite as much as I did but enough for it to give them all the joy it gave me, all the same. So in summary, yeah, fuck David Benioff and Dan Weiss (lmao, I’m joking, they’re just shitty original screenplay writers who could probably do with a class or two on how to write female characters), but also, understand before you make fun of someone for being overly invested in something that there’s probably a good reason for it and that, at the end of the day, they’re usually not hurting anyone. I’ll probably still be stanning Daenerys Targaryen and pretending season 8 episode 5 didn’t happen until the day I die. Let me live, okay?

Lauren x

#bpd #harry potter #Hermione granger #Emma watson #cassie ainsworth #skins #gameofthrones #got #antigot #DaenerysTargaryen #daenerys targaryen #emilia clarke

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saint-patrice · 5 years

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“Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD”

here are some more of my favourite marchy pics, complete with my bizarre personal commentary, for anon! the 34 bergy pics can be found here also!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m up for taking people’s requests if there’s a particular player they’d like to see! inbox is always open (and anon is on) so just drop me your request and i’ll get working on it :)

okay so this is some absolutely premium cute marchy!! the smile that manages to be completely self-confident yet in no way cocky? the polite little wave as he surveys his audience who, if i recall correctly, were booing him heavily?? oh i do love you mr rat. marchy is fantastic and i have so much respect for the way he deals with his reputation across the league and the excessive amount of shit he gets.he knows what people think of him yet doesn’t seem to let it get to him. i have so much love for him.

KATRINA IS LEGENDARY. before moving on to the part of the image that gave me whiplash when i first saw it, we’re back to talking about brad’s smile. i think i said it in my last post but he really is one of those people who smiles with their whole face - even if you just saw his eyes in this photo you can immediately tell that he’s got that little grin on his face and that’s adorable tbh. now onto the d*lf mug (censored bc i fear the dodgy underground porn blogs these days)… i don’t even know where to start. i feel like he very proudly bought it for himself. and it’s like the only mug he ever wants to drink out of. just my take. i also think the longer hair really suits marchy ngl

ahhh the boys and their dirtbag christmas suits 💛 highlights of this image are the suit jacket that is definitely just one size too small for this absolute man rocket, and the pants with “FRAGILE” plastered all over them - very relatable if not at all festive.

gay rights are stored in the rat!!! i’m glad marchy has been pretty open about his support of LGBT stuff, particularly within hockey. also i feel like some of the stuff he’s said in interviews or social media (esp re: lickgate) manages, even if not intentionally, to be quite diminutive towards implicit homophobia or ‘toxic masculinity’ within hockey. okay maybe that that was poorly expressed but basically he just doesn’t give a shit and appears very open and accepting and i think that’s super nice. this picture also makes for a good reaction image when someone says something dumb

short kings love.jpeg !! a wonderful example of the love that brad shows his teammates on a regular basis, despite his constant chirping. i have no real opinions on torey krug (no h8, i just don’t think i’ve seen that much of him off ice so idk) but him and marchy are quite the duo tbh, i live for their back and forths on twitter - more on that later - and they seem to love each other an awful lot, it’s v cute :^)

that’s my pest™. honestly i think lickgate is one of the best scandals in recent hockey history. when looking for a good image of this is saw an article where some dipshit reporter was outraged about it and was like “how would you feel if someone just came up and liked you?” i mean what if someone just came up and started punching you or hip-checked you into the wall????? hockey is a nasty game a lot of the time, and instead of giving people concussions or broken bones (not that he hasn’t in the past ik…) marchy managed to make opposing teams just as angry, if not moreso, just by licking players. i think it’s fucking hilarious. and most of them took it well in hindsight anyway - i think it was komarov who said he kinda liked it lmaoooooo. peak bradley kevin antics if you ask me

every pic from the china trip has such a special place in my heart. this is just an all-round adorable photo and brad is looking gorgeous in the sunlight and his backwards cap

brad waving the towel in surrender is just about the funniest thing i’ve ever seen someone do in the penalty box… i can’t believe they gave him a 10 minute misconduct for it, something i think they’d wouldn’t have done if it had have been someone else. at least someone in this league has a goddamn sense of humour. the penalty minutes stat in the corner just makes this even better

brad, once again, showing us how we should deal with people talking shit about us - just get on board with it. i love how much he’s just embraced his massive nose and his height and his general reputation. idk if it’s really deliberate but i think it’s such a good message to send, and it makes for some pretty funny stuff too.

brad single-handedly keeps nhl refs in a job. in my bruins drinking game™ you have to take a shot every time the ref has to physically restrain marchy (2 if it’s because he was going to get revenge or fend for bergy) and you could get fucked off that alone during some games. it was nice to see him not actually get suspended this year, but i will always love that he’s such a physical player and quite the pest on the ice :))

me: *slaps helmet of brad marchand* this bad boy can fit so much personality.

really though, can you believe he’s managed to squeeze more charisma into only 5 feet and 9 inches than 85% of the league combined… very cute picture, and always lovely to see him by bergy’s side on the ice where he belongs

oh my goddddddd how fucking cute is this though!!!! the hat! the dad energy those jeans and the boots give off!!! his face!! his little daughter!!!!! i can’t take it, my heart is going to burst.

(gif via @kureally) this is also just so cute, i need a minute. brad has some very powerful eyebrows and this gif displays them wonderfully. this section of behind the b was also pretty sweet all round, and i agree with pasta that the hair is looking pretty first class

(gif via @murlin09) i am not like into marchy (no tea no shade if u are though), but this gif… whew. i’ll let you come to your own conclusions on this one, gang

i was not lying when i said more on the brad-torey social media antics earlier. there are some truly iconic chirps (the zamboni one is lethal), but this self-roast just kills me every time. i never once thought i’d read a tweet from the official brad marchand twitter account that opened with “hey shorty” but here we are. “my nose wouldn’t fit” i astral projected the first time i read that. and if you’re wondering what torey said to prompt this, it was simply “hey marchy”. it doesn’t take much for brad to light on you, huh? we better watch our backs

definitely a favourite marcheron pic right here - the pucks and paddles (i still think that’s a questionable name but maybe that’s a me issue) content is always top notch. if you can find the video, it’s even better, but this picture captures the general energy of the video perfectly. the only thing missing is that brad’s feet aren’t actually on the floor because the height difference is so pronounced that bergy has to lift him. beautiful

return of the cute brad smile!! a cute yet mischievous little grin, i can only assume he’s restraining himself from laughing at m*tthews fivehead (although who is he to talk with that schnozz. at least he rocks it tbf 👃🏻). not sure blue is really his colour but he’s going for it anyway. that’s my all star!

it’s been days since this photo first surfaced and i haven’t stopped palpitating. the cutest photo ever, they all look so happy and i love that!!! also how are their wives so beautiful….!? oh my every pixel of this image is just stunning

i know i included this in my last bergy list but if they can name new york twice i think i can put this on 2 lists, because lord knows it’s even more iconic. i feel like this is a good metaphor for brad marchand: getting up to no good, although still relatively harmless, all the while supported by the considerably more sensible, yet still entertaining, patrice bergeron. additionally, another excellent display of the oft-overlooked fact that this man is built like a motherfucking tank. holy shit

i wish i could see these boys in suits without my brain immediately trying to think of some sort of au. anyway, i really like this look on brad (unpopular opinion - i love his loud checkered suits as a concept but i don’t think they look good). although he has dark hair, strong eyebrows, and dark facial hai, the all black actually looks really good on him. coffee in hand really adding to the look too - well done, brad “fashionista” marchand.

ahhhhh i love nothing more than family man marchy 💛 his daughter is adorable - those tiny jerseys kill me - and i love that his son is wearing the all-star jersey omg how cute (he is definitely going to end up taller than brad lmao)

sometimes i forget that brad is short and then i see photos like this (brandon is 6′5 for reference)…amazing. i relate to the lady on the left on a spiritual level. brad’s face is a mood and a half. his feet are half a foot of the ice at least. i adore this photo.

(gif via @brandoncarlo) absolutely one of my fav things about watching bruins games is how brad and patrice will always find each other during a celly - nothing beats the 100 hug. this is also just a very satisfying skating gif that i love.

last but very very very far from least is this. there is literally no need for me to make any comment on this so i’m just going to leave it and go. bradley kevin marchand you are iconic and ily

ayyy this was super fun to do, thank you for requesting it anon, i hope you like!! again, i’m absolutely up for taking requests for more of these lists so hmu if you have ideas :)

#my bergy post was pure thirst for the most part #this is just me appreciating the true iconicness that is marchy #the effort i went to to not use 'iconic' every third word...bc he just is #answered #Anonymous #bruins photos compilations #bruins #marchand

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