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flemingsfreckles · 3 days

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Trying Again Part 2

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Preview: Read Part 1, based off this suggestion, basically this fic just goes through what each month looked like for reader and Jessie once they learned they were expecting.

Warnings: pregnancy fic, morning sickness, discussion of labor/birth (again nothing graphic), suggestive, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), cursing

WC: 3.0k

A/N: this isn’t necessarily a part 2, but it’s kind of a continuation of Trying Again, walking through each month of pregnancy, I’m just labeling it Part 2 because that makes more sense than it being its own fic

Month 1

You nearly miss month 1 just not knowing. You didn’t take the pregnancy test until you were about 3 weeks along. Once you found out Jessie immediately assumed the role of overly prepared parent.

She came home the day after you had given her the positive test with a couple massive shopping bags.

“What on earth did you buy?” You asked her when you saw the pile of bags.

“Just some things. I’ll show you.” She proceeded to unload baby book after baby book on every topic. Books on pregnancy, books on supporting your partner through pregnancy, books on the actual birth process, books on the baby’s first year, books on how to raise a teenager. It was safe to say she had gotten ahead of herself but you couldn’t even fault her. The way she showed you each one with such excitement in her eyes and voice was adorable.

The next bag was filled with other baby items, blankets, clothes, pacifiers, stuffed animals, and a tiny pair of Nike shoes.

“Jessie, the baby will wear those for all of 5 minutes before they fall off and they outgrow them.”

“I know but they’re just so cute and little.” She grinned at the shoes, holding them in her hands. “I can’t believe our baby is going to be this small.”

Month 2

Month two was filled with morning sickness. Jessie is a saint, getting up with you every time, bringing you water and new clothes. She’d gather your hair in her hand, holding it away from your face. She’d get your toothbrush set up with toothpaste and hand it to you once you were done throwing up. She’d help you shower if you wanted to feel refreshed and then she’d tuck you into bed, making sure you were comfortable with a fresh glass of water next to your bedside. She’d hold you tight, in whatever position made you the most comfortable.

Your hormones were starting to jump to extremes. Jessie found you crying on the couch one day over a sock. To be fair to you, the socks didn’t have a match and that upset you deeply. She had held you on the couch while your hand clutched the sock tightly, rubbing your back gently. She then went and found the missing sock. You got angry quickly, she hadn’t told you she was stopping at the store to grab you some snacks and when she got home, later than she had told you to expect her you had been at the door yelling at her. Of course you apologized and also cried when she explained she had just gotten you a little surprise, the basket she held out to you containing snacks, new slippers, some bubble bath, and some baby clothes. You felt guilty for yelling, but you were irritable, tired, and just relatively in a bad mood.

Month two was also when you told your teams. The Chelsea girls first followed by the Lionesses and Canada. Everyone was naturally excited and thrilled for you and Jessie. Niamh was your biggest supporter beside your wife, she was with you on both teams and was Jessie’s eyes and ears when she couldn’t be with you. The girl would get up with you when you got sick, offering you water. She checked in during training, making sure you weren’t feeling ill.

You also both told your families at this time, Jessie’s sister the most excited out of anyone, quick to claim the role of “best aunt”. You were overwhelmed with everyone’s excitement about your baby, you knew they would be so loved by your families both biological and your chosen families you had created.

Month 3

Month three was similar to month two. Your morning sickness continued and Jessie continued to be your biggest support throughout. Your body began to feel more fatigued, you were sleepy all the time, doing nothing but training and sleeping. Jessie cuddled up with you on the couch after training, scratching your back or your scalp. The tiredness also led to more mood swings, you were angry one moment and then crying and then crying tears of joy. Jessie handled it all with grace, you knew you were being a terrible person to her and she didn’t deserve it, but growing a human was a lot of work and it took a huge toll on your body.

Training was becoming harder. Your clothes start to fit differently, your breasts becoming sore that it hurts to run around for long periods of time no matter the sports bra you wore. You were still irritable, the early morning wake ups to be sick did nothing to help your mood. You started to have weird cravings and changes in the foods you liked and disliked.

You had woken up from a nap one afternoon to Jessie cooking what used to be your favorite meal, however when she placed it in front of you, it repulsed you. When Jessie asked you why you weren’t eating it you had to tell her you didn’t want what she made. Jessie of course took no offense to your disgust, getting up from her own plate to immediately start cooking you something else. You cried when she handed you a new meal, overwhelmed with her cooperation and kindness toward you. She just kissed you and told you she’d do anything for you.

It wasn’t an easy month, maybe the worst out of the whole pregnancy but with Jessie’s help and support you made it through, day by day and night by night.

Month 4

Month four was when things settled, your morning sickness started to fade, happening less and less frequently. Month four however was the time when you and your doctor decided it was time to slow down with training and playing. It was a hard couple of days, realizing you were about to take a break from the one constant in your life, but Chelsea was great about it. You still attended the end of season practices and games, just with less and less involvement until you were solely on the sidelines.

You had also developed the sex drive that was through the roof. Jessie would breathe in your direction and you were ready to jump her bones. Jessie couldn’t complain too much about this side effect, she was getting laid everyday. It was fun for her for the first few days. Then she was starting to cramp in her forearms, fingers, her jaw, all sore from the pleasure she was providing you. Her own sex drive was also not affected by hormones; she just wasn’t always in the mood for multiple rounds of sex, every day, but she happily gave you what you needed, often for nothing in return.

Niamh had poked fun to Jessie when the two of you walked in and Jessie looked exhausted while you were grinning ear to ear.

“Long night again?” She bumped Jessie with her shoulder as you walked ahead to your locker.

“Oh my god Niamh, this time it was before bed, then twice in the middle of the night when we were both awake, and then again this morning. My body can only handle so much. I’m sore. I’m sore, from sex!”

“Oh boo hoo Fleming, god forbid your wife wants you to fuck her an insane amount.”

Jessie blushed at Niamh vulgarity. “I know Niamh, and I love her, and she’s literally growing my child, so of course I want to give her everything she needs and wants. And I love having sex with her, but oh my god a person can only take so much, it’s like the second week of this too.”

“Then get something to help.” Niamh shrugged, hoping to help her friend while not upsetting you.

To solve her own pain, Jessie went out and bought you a couple new toys that the two of you could share while preserving her muscles. You were plenty satisfied with the new purchases, enjoying them with Jessie. Jessie was satisfied that she was able to go about her daily tasks and not have her fingers or forearm cramp up on her.

Month 5

This was the month you found out the gender of your baby. You had gone to the doctor to get an ultrasound, when you told the technician you didn’t want to know the gender right away they sealed the reveal in an envelope for the two of you to take and open on your own time. You then gave that envelope off to Magda and Pernille as they were in town, allowing them to set up your gender reveal. They weren’t around as much, you and Jessie had been close with them on Chelsea and wanted them to have a role in your pregnancy. When you asked them to help with this they were ecstatic. You didn’t want anything too crazy or over the top. They had set up a small gathering, you, Jessie, Niamh, Zerica, with Pernille and Magda hosting what made up your small Chelsea family. They had cooked everyone a dinner, making it a nice evening, in addition to the gender reveal.

They had made a cake, covered in a white frosting, the inside cake was dyed pink or blue. You were so excited seeing the cake, you had asked for something simple and not over the top, that’s exactly what they had given you, and it was cake, you loved cake. You and Jessie both held the knife as you cut a slide into the cake while everyone else stood watching, Magda and P watching your and Jessie’s faces, already knowing the gender they didn’t need to watch the knife the way that the rest of you were.

You had burst into tears when you pulled the knife out and the pink tint frosting and cake crumbs clung to the knife. Magda and P both looked horrified at your reaction, not knowing what happened while Jessie, Niamh, and Z laughed. The three of them having a front row seat to your emotional swings everyday at training. Jessie gently rubbed your back through your emotions.

“I’m so happy. I promise.” You really didn’t care what your baby was, you would’ve been an emotional wreck boy or girl. “I’m just so excited.”

Niamh takes the cake and knife away from you, going to cut it up and serve it to everyone. You dry your tears and Z pulls you into a big hug.

“I’m going to make her a keeper.” She whispers to you. “Don’t tell the rest of them.” You laugh into her hug.

Month 6

You were laying on the couch after a long day of doing hardly anything, but everything felt exhausting these days. You couldn’t sleep on your stomach like you usually did. Sleeping on your back was anything but comfortable, and your side wasn’t much better. Your legs hurt, your ankles hurt, your feet hurt, everything was miserable.

You often would just lay on the couch after you and Jessie returned home from training, her practicing, you watching and coaching. Jessie would lay next to you, her hands always finding their way to your belly, gently holding it, drawing circles, she’d lean in, placing her lips to your bump kissing it gently and softly speaking to the baby.

“You’re going to be so loved, you already are so loved. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Jessie had already told the baby about how you two met, all about your first date, how you proposed to her and how she proposed back, she talked about your wedding, she told the baby everything.

Jessie was resting next to you, her ear pressed against your belly as she whispered to the baby, her hand gently caressing your skin. One thing about Jessie was she couldn’t keep her hands off your bump. She always asked to touch you and you always said yes but once you gave her permission, her hands would remain on you as long as she could.

“Hi baby girl”

That’s when you feel it and Jessie feels it. Your baby is kicking. It’s not painful but it’s uncomfortable as you feel the pressure from her foot inside of you.

“Babe?!” Jessie pulls her head from on your stomach, eyes wide in panic as she looks up at you.

“Did you feel that?” You weren’t sure if Jessie felt it outside of your stomach, you felt it inside.

“She kicked! Oh my god she kicked.”

“She kicked!” You exclaimed, bringing your hand back down to where the previous kick had been. Feeling the baby kick again. Jessie looks up at you, her eyes slightly teary.

“That’s our little girl.” Jessie says, her hand on your stomach still, a tear spilling over as she looks at you with love in her eyes. “Our baby.”

You baby kicks a few more times, each time you and Jessie look at each other with big smiles. “With a kick like that she’ll end up a striker like her mama.” Jessie says after one of the stronger kicks she gives you.

“We’ll see, Z said she’s making her a keeper.”

Month 7

You came home from a day out with your own mom to loud noises and voices coming from the extra bedroom that was set to become a nursery. You walk over to the doorway and see your wife, hammer in one hand, the other holding paper instructions. You look further into the room and Niamh, Sam and Zerica are all standing holding various pieces of wood and hardware.

They’re all silent, staring at you as you step into the room.

“You’re not supposed to be home yet!” Jessie looks up at you from the floor. She looks concerned at your early arrival.

“I know but I was starting to not feel great so I had my mom drop me home. What are you all doing?” You look between your three teammates and wife. You’re pretty sure you can figure out what they’re doing but ask anyway.

“It was supposed to be a surprise, we were getting the nursery ready.” Jessie explained to you.

“We’re building the crib.” Sam pipes in, she holds out the piece of wood she’s holding.

You walk further into the room, reaching over to grab some of the tools wanting to help out.

“No!” Jessie says as she bats your hand away from the tools. “Sit there.” She points to what you assume is a newly built rocking chair. “You can watch and yell at us, but no helping, you need rest.”

“Fine.” You sit down on the chair hesitantly, you trusted Jessie when it came to following instructions and building something correctly but you couldn’t say the same for the rest of your teammates. The chair held you, it was surprisingly comfortable. Niamh brought over an ottoman for your feet to rest on and they all got back to work. You watched as the previously empty room became filled with wall decorations and furniture. The girls would ask where you wanted certain pictures or items within the room, it was nice to be involved while not straining yourself too much.

Month 8

You have the baby during the eighth month. 8 months and 3 weeks and a day to be exact. She arrives a little early, no concern to your doctor but her slightly early arrival has Jessie stressing in the hospital room.

“Is it too soon?”

“Babe, the doctors said it’s practically like she’s coming at full term, it’s okay. She’s just 6 days early.” You’re nearly sick from watching Jessie pace laps back and forth across your room. Her hands are either in her hair, picking at her skin, or playing with her shirt, all nervous habits.

Unfortunately your labor was anything but easy. You had started contractions in the middle of the night, you and Jessie rushing to the hospital with nothing except the perfectly packed hospital bag your wife had made.

Despite the rough labor, Jessie was the most perfect partner to have during labor. She did well under stress, despite her earlier nerves once you were actually ready to have the baby she was level headed again. Jessie was attentive to you, bringing you ice chips, new blankets, rubbing your feet, rubbing your back. She was advocating for you whenever the opportunity arose. When you decided you wanted an epidural after trying to tough out the pain for 7 hours, she didn’t question you, she happily held your hand as the medicine was put in your back.

It wasn’t until 12 hours after you had gotten to the hospital that your baby girl made her arrival. Jessie let you squeeze her hand so hard you were convinced you were going to break it and she never complained once. She helped you by holding one of your legs as she pressed her forehead to yours, whispering words of encouragement and praise. She occasionally would look, wanting to see her baby girl despite her being adamant that she wasn’t going to look prior to arriving at the hospital, she was worried about getting queasy, she didn’t always do well with blood.

When your daughter finally came out crying they placed her quickly onto your bare chest quickly followed by a blanket.

“You’re incredible. That was amazing, I love you.” Jessie whispered with tears running down her face. Her eyes look between you and your daughter on your chest. You got to watch as Jessie cut the umbilical cord, a huge grin across her face.

Nurses then took your daughter, cleaned her up and swaddled her into a soft pink blanket. They come to hand back your daughter to you, you look over to your wife who’s patiently standing watching you, she hasn't yet gotten to hold your little girl.

“You want to hold her?” You ask and Jessie just nods at you. The nurse passes Jessie the bundle with your daughter wrapped inside.

You watch as Jessie holds your daughter for the very first time, you get emotional, tears welling up. Jessie looks up to you, her eyes matching yours, on the brink of tears.

“Thank you for making me a mom.”

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #jessie fleming imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #canwnt #canwnt x reader

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ghostsandmermaids · 16 hours

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Fandom Manifesto: Hello From The Hallowoods

(Originally written for the Fandomanifesto community on Pillowfort.)

Here's a (mostly spoiler-free) fandom manifesto for my favorite podcast, Hello From The Hallowoods. (Please try to keep the comments on this post spoiler-free as well.)

What is a fandom manifesto?

Inspired by ship manifestos, a fandom manifesto is an essay meant to introduce people to a fandom and promote it by explaining its appeal. It's a really fun tradition that I would love to keep going.

What is Hello From The Hallowoods?

Darker than your dreams, and farther North than you remember, there is a forest where life and death meet…

Hello From The Hallowoods is a queer horror podcast written and produced by William A. Wellman (they/them). This is the official description (taken from Spotify):

Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, a cosmic narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

It's set in a forest in northern Canada (the Hallowoods) in a post-apocalyptic world plagued by the black rains. The story follows the inhabitants of the Hallowoods—only some of whom are alive and human—as their lives become increasingly interconnected.

The podcast is narrated by Nikignik (he/they), also known as One Hundred Eyes in the Dark, an eldritch god who speaks directly to the listener via their nightmares. He begins to tell these stories because he's grieving his partner, another god called Marolmar (he/him), and humans were the last thing Marolmar created. Over time, Nikignik changes from a more passive narrator to an active character in the story.

There are a lot of characters, including but not limited to:

a nonbinary Frankenstein's creature piercing together their identity

a trans ghost dealing with his occultist father

an invisible man finding love at first sight

a genderfluid storm witch trying to prove themself

a retired rockstar and her punk butch lesbian daughter

a floral-suit-wearing demon on a celestial audit of earth

a starwolf on a mission to kill said demon

a killer robot skull and his pet dead seagull

an unkindness of ravens (yes, they are one character)

… and many, many more.

How scary is it?

It's a horror podcast, so there are some scary moments, but for me, the story feels very comforting and bittersweet as it explores horror tropes in a really unique way. According to the website:

It's been described as a show that helps you sleep easier, rather than one that keeps you up at night.

The story also explores themes like religious trauma, isolation, death, grief, and queerphobia, so please check the content warnings at the end of each episode description or at the start of each episode transcript. Transcripts are available on the website.

Why should I listen to it?

If the description above didn't convince you, here are some more reasons why you should listen to Hello From The Hallowoods.

There is so much content! I often complain about books being almost always standalones or duologies lately and TV seasons only being 8-10 episodes. If I really like something, I want to spend as much time with it as possible!

With HFTH, I don't have that problem because there is so much to listen to! There are currently (almost) 150 episodes available (plus a few live shows and bonus episodes), and new episodes come out every Wednesday. There are also weekly 100-word bonus stories on Patreon, and a tie-in novel called One Hundred Eyes In The Dark is currently in the works, so if you're looking for a story you can get really invested in (or if you're angry that all your favorite shows have been canceled), HFTH is perfect for you!

There are so many queer characters, disabled characters, and characters of color! If you're looking for a really diverse show, you will love HFTH. (I cried when I heard a character describe herself as aromantic.) But even aside from the diversity, the characters are just amazing. I mean, "What if Frankenstein's creature got love and support and was an absolute cinnamon roll?" is the perfect character concept. The villains are also really compelling and well-written.

It's a great introduction to podcasts, especially for book lovers, because it often feels like a very immersive audiobook! The voice acting and music are incredible, and even though there are a lot of characters, you can tell them apart very easily by their voices. If you like fantasy and horror books, this could be your introduction to the world of audio dramas.

That being said, if you have listened to other horror podcasts before, you will still love this one! It sometimes reminds me of Welcome To Night Vale, but the setting and characters are very unique, and the writing is so, so beautiful.

It's also a great introduction to horror! I used to avoid horror media because I get scared very easily, but horror podcasts (and especially Hello From The Hallowoods) made me discover how much I actually enjoy horror. HFTH explores horror tropes in such a kind, unique, and hopeful way, and as sappy as that sounds, listening to it makes the horrors of everyday life a little easier to deal with.

If you like Malevolent (another really great horror podcast), Harlan Guthrie has a guest role in HFTH! You might also recognize Mx. Wellman's voice from other podcasts like WOE.BEGONE, The Silt Verses or Old Gods of Appalachia.

The fandom is amazing! Everyone is so kind and talented, and we always have a lot of fun theorizing about what will happen next. There's even a fan-run Discord server!

We also have a fan wiki, and in addition to the official information, we also have a "fun gender" for each character. Here are some of my favorites:

Tumblr Sexyman (Official)

Eye-Affiliated Podcast Host

Deer that will fuck you up

Whatever the hell was going on with the guy from Shape Of Water

Nightmare Personality

Hot Topic Goth

Dilf Automobile

How do I listen to it?

You can listen to Hello From The Hallowoods on the podcatcher of your choice. Here are some suggestions from the Hallowoods website:

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

Podbean

YouTube

Google Podcasts

It's not an anthology, so please listen to it from the beginning to see how the different characters and plot threads come together.

The show is entirely ad-free and sponsor-free, so if you like it and want to financially support it, please consider joining the show’s Patreon.

And that's it! There are many things I didn't include for spoiler reasons, but this should give you a basic idea of what HFTH is about and why I love it so much.

I hope I convinced you to listen to Hello From The Hallowoods, and maybe you will love it as much as I do!

#hello from the hallowoods #hfth #fandom manifesto #podcast recs #podcast recommendations #horror podcasts #long post

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 13 hours

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Hey sex witch I also have a sex toy question! I have a vagina and I do NOT want or enjoy being penetrated but I do like penetrating others so I was thinking of buying a strap. I usually have one night stands with people and bc of that I don't really have anyone who would be on the other side of the strap to ask, and because of my lack of enjoyment I don't know what people are generally looking for when they get fucked so I was wondering if there were some things I should be looking for in buying a strap so that it'll be something that most people will generally enjoy (I know nothing is one size fits all but just how can I make sure I don't buy something that most of the people I sleep with would dislike?) And do you have any suggestions for where to buy one?

hi anon,

I'm actually going to not counter your "one size fits all statement," but maybe complicate it a little: strap is strap. obviously preferences will vary between different partners, but if you're not shopping for the tastes of any specific people there are no right or wrong answers here.

(if I'm misunderstanding the situation and there are already sexual partners actively in rotation, then the answer is easy: just ask them what they'd enjoy.)

obviously it will probably behoove you to play it safe in terms of size and texture - a ten inch magnum dong covered in spikes is probably not the best starting place if we're looking something that we're hoping will be universally enjoyed - but beyond that? hey, your partners are gonna get what they get, and they can take it or leave it. people who have sex with people who have organic straps (you know, a penis) make do all the time. get something that's fun for you :3

also I dropped this link in another ask yesterday, but this is my current list of groovy sex toy retailers! possibly expanding soon, since I've been learning a lot about the UK and Canada sex toy markets thanks to my followers.

#sex edventures 2024

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rerinko · 3 days

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There may be some slight grammatical errors i'm going to go back over it soon!

Chappell Roan “Good Luck Babe”: The song “Good Luck Babe” by Chappel Roan has blown up online. I personally love the song and I love Chappell Roan. I love seeing any sapphic media in general but especially lesbian specific media. One thing that has come along with the success of this song has been debates online. Debates about comphet, biphobia and lesbiphobia. I couldn't help but join those debates but I quickly learned short form comments aren't the best way to express your opinion coherently.

I saw this one video on TikTok that I can no longer find. It may have been deleted. In this video this bisexual woman on TikTok talked about how she kept seeing this idea that if you identify as bi but you're unfulfilled by relationships with men then you aren't bi. She also brought up how consistently marriage hasn't always been the best for women and just because she is straight doesn't mean a woman will be fulfilled by a relationship with any man. It's also biphobic to say so due those reasons. The lack of fulfillment I reference when talking about the realization that you are a lesbian is very different from the lack of fulfillment straight or bi women can experience in a relationship. A woman who likes men can be unfulfilled in a relationship with a man but that reason does not boil down to the fact that they are a man. If you are a lesbian a man could be perfect, they could provide everything, treat you amazingly, you could even have a good sex life and think you're in love but still no matter what there's something wrong. It's not him or his actions, it's the fact that it's “a him” in the first place. The reason why so many women never realize they're a lesbian is because it's so normalized to be unfulfilled in a relationship with a man. But being is a lesbian not just being unfulfilled with men but being unfulfilled with men in a way that you aren't with women. Straight or bi women have the ability to truly love and be fulfilled by a man. Lesbians do not. This is not to say every relationship is fulfilling. Just because you're with the gender you like, you like this person and you're in a relationship doesn't inherently make the relationship fulfilling. Relationships are complicated and many of them can bring more stress and pain to one's life than love and happiness.

I have seen many TikTok comments say comphet isn't a lesbian only experience and any queer people can experience and I simply do not agree. Lesbians are unique, it is the one sexuality that doesn't include men. The entire world is structured around men, this is a man's world. Women to this day in Canada and the United States can't get sterilized without their husbands consent. Realtors and car salesmen will automatically talk to the husband even if the wife is the one with the money making the purchase. When a woman gets married she takes her husband's last name. From a young age women are socialized to centre their entire life around men. From what we wear, to how we speak, even down to our interests we're taught to change it for the fancy of men. I grew up watching romance movies and I always wanted my own Prince Charming. It seemed like in every show I watched aimed at young girls the happy ending was the main girl getting the guy she wanted. We're never our own people. We are first the property of our fathers then our husbands. But isn't that the issue? When you're a lesbian there is no husband. There is no fairy tale ending, there is no Prince Charming, there's no man to stand up for you against misogynistic men in general. When you realize that you feel like a failure. You want to fit in. You want to talk with your girl friends about your boy crushes and gossip with them. You want to be one of the girls, you want to be normal, you want to like a boy. So you do. You choose one or someone just happens to be available and at first you like the attention. You like the butterflies because you've never held hands romantically before. You even think about him at night and imagine what your first kiss would be like. Then your first kiss actually happens and something feels wrong. You try again and again and nothing makes sense because you thought you liked him. Then you kiss a girl and it all makes sense. I wished I was bisexual, because I at least could've had a chance of marrying a man.

Men can be men. They don't need a wife, sure it's an add on but it's more like a trophy or an accessory they bare. Men can find success while single, they can be respected while single and they don't need their wives consent to do things. Gay men don't have to mourn privileges they will no longer gain because they are gay due to their gender. Men in general will never have to worry about so many things women do. Comphet isn't just being closeted it's about survival in society. It's about you being in denial because your entire life you've been shown there's only one way to be happy and that's to love a man and you'll never love a man. I'm sure all of these issues get even worse in more traditional cultures where men have all of the power making ability.

Bisexual women also face homophobia. I have spent much of this talking about bisexual women liking men but I do want to highlight the fact that bisexual women are also queer. Bisexual women share in the pain of being a queer women. They are often fetitzhed by men even by men they're in relationships and like lesbians assaulted due to the fact they like women. I don't think bisexual women are any less queer than lesbians but I do believe we go through different experiences. We both share the joy and pain of loving women but bisexual women will never understand the pain of not liking men.

Chappell Roan is a lesbian who makes songs about the lesbian experience. I've seen some people talk about the bridge and how they didn't realize it was about a lesbian and instead thought it was about a straight woman.

“When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night

With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife

And when you think about me, all of those years ago

You're standing face to face with "I told you so"

You know I hate to say it, I told you so”

This commenter expanded by saying they just assumed it was about a straight woman who had lost her identity to her husband. I could understand how someone could come to this conclusion after one listen but I think after another few listens you can completely tell this song is about being a closeted lesbian.

This song to me almost feels like a secret summer love affair. One person wants to tell everyone and scream about their love from the rooftops and the other isn't ready to come out. They aren't ready to call what they have love because if they actually admitted it they would be admitting they never truly loved a man. They would have to come to terms with the fact they won't have a “normal” life, they won't have a nuclear family and no matter what not everyone will approve of them. These two people then split down two different paths. One accepts who they are but the other goes on to live a lie. They marry a man despite who they truly are and this bridge is the manifestation of the betrayal of your true self.

Someone's personal interpretation is different from the intended interpretation by the artist. Having your own interpretation is completely valid and it's one of the main things that draws peoples to art. But when art is made with a specific audience in mind actively speaking over those people and saying “oh well I think it's actually about this.” Is just whataboutism. Not everything has to be about everyone and you can relate to something without it being about you.

#feminist #comphet #lesbian #chappell roan #queer #lgbtq #lgbtq community #wlw #sapphic #feminism

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spnfanficpond · 3 days

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Weekly Pond Newsletter

There may not be a newsletter next week, so keep an eye on our calendar (links at the bottom) for anything that comes up! To ask forgiveness for missing a week, have a nice Jensen gif:

Old Business:

Fic Highlight - We did another fic highlight! It's a Destiel Russian mob AU that both fluffy and bloody as hell. Click here for our review!

SPN Rewatch: Fanfic Edition - We had a great chat yesterday about the episodes 2.05 Simon Said and 2.06 No Exit! Click here to access the Archive and read what we discussed in the episode docs!

Last week's #TweetFicTues prompts were -

New Business:

Fishing For Treasures - Next weekend is FFT weekend at the @fanficocean! May's theme is Pairings (especially Rarepairs)! Be sure to head over there next weekend and see what wild and wonderful rare pairings people have come up with outside of the SPN fandom!

Sun Spin Stageit - Next weekend Michae Rosenbaum and his partner in music will be performing for a virtual audience on Friday at 8pm EDT. Click here for info and to buy tickets!

Question for YOU - We are considering starting up something akin to the Angel Fish Awards, but where writers tell us about awesome comments they've received on their fics! Admin Michelle spent some time during her chat yesterday bandying about different names, but didn't come up with anything that really spoke to her. Angel Turtle Awards? Ninja Angel Turtle Awards? Raphael Awards? (Because, you know, he was a TMNT and an archangel.) What do you guys think? Let us know in replies and reblogs!

(Divider by @glygriffe!)

That's all for this week! To see all Pond events, and also other SPN-related things like conventions and online concerts, check out our Google calendar! Click here for a static view in Eastern US/Canada time (desktop only, no mobile app access, sadly), and click here to add our calendar to your own Google calendar! We try to keep it as up-to-date as possible. If there's something you want to see on the calendar that's not there (maybe a convention we missed, cast birthdays, or something similar), send us an ASK and let us know!

Hope you have a great week! - From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

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thotsfortherapy · 1 month

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having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

#cy says stuff #I moved out when I was 17 for a reason #but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time #every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it #I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there #but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink #or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent #or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things #I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol #also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom #but what if your mom sucks what then #I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like #the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family #anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it #just #always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol #some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood #but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭

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specialshinytrinkets · 10 months

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The weirdest gripe I have with Mr Small enjoyers part of the fanbase is as to why he was unanimously agreed to be Canadian

Is it some sort of American thing I don't understand or?????????

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#random.dusty #dusty.art #tawog #tawog mr small #steve small #meme #i seriously do not understand. can someone explain #just so that you'd know: i do not have a problem with this headcanon (or i guess by this point it's fanon)#it just??? confuses me??????? like why specifically canadian is there a large auditory of hippies/vegetarians in canada #????????????????????#at least with the cloud headcanon (yes i'm still just. a bit not over it) it can be easily disproved. he canonically has flesh and bones #that face has traumatized some people; my ex-pal used to use the screenshot as a meme to torment me (as a friend) 😭😭😭😭#you do you. just. idk not my thing #but the canadian headcanon - i can't even say anything about it cuz?????? you can't prove it. and neither disprove it #the only flag he's had in the show is an lgbt flag and honestly thank you #again #maybe i don't know something. i am not american. neither am i canadian. i've never been to either of these countries #amd do not know the relationship between them #the amazing world of gumball #fursona #plushsona

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quirinah · 1 month

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how do you get your colors to look so nice and your lineart so red and vibrant? i love it

omg anon thank you!! 😭 im going 2 be honest I am Not Great with color theory... but i like having my sketch pages look cohesive to me...

BUCKLE UP this is going to need a readmore bc i like talking.

I always sketch in neon colors it's a habit i picked up from an old teacher but I'll think of a color usually on a whim and draw with that. and then if i want to draw something else ill pick another color that i think goes well with the page. usually most of my color schemes r analogous (colors right next to each other on the wheel)

yanked this from recent dunmesh post; i kept most of my colors within the pink/red/orange range.

i wouldn't recommend doing everything in monochrome or analogous palettes though because it's sort of a guilty crutch of mine XD.

sometimes when im coloring ill change the layer mode of the sketch. color burn gets you either very very bright or very very deep colors depending on the color of the flats underneath. multiply and linear burn do the same thing but they're a lot tamer and generally always return darker colors. im sure there's some technical bits behind this though. ill either color my lineart afterward to compliment the color of the flats, leave it as is, or mess with layer modes if i feel like it. my favorite trick is color burn + linear burn + some combination of two lineart layers and just fiddling until i get a nice burn effect.

mithrun was done with crimson red on color burn.

coloring... like 999% of this is relative color which is like. kind of the idea that colors look different when placed next to each other. if you eyeball it a bit it's pretty noticeable.

what i used to do a bit ago was i would fill in the area i wanted to color with one big mask of color, make a new layer that has a clipping mask down to the flat layer of color, and then draw my actual flat colors. the color of the mask helped me pick my flat colors bc if I picked a color i think stood out too much next to the mask i could kind of just adjust it until it looked a little more cohesive.

old ish drawing next 2 a canon reference. i ignore local color a lot...mea culpa....but my overall color palette here was a light pink, so the shirt here is actually a desaturated pink? or violet i believe. if you shift sort of that purple color far enough into the gray area of your color wheel it can take on a blueish or even greenish hue. it being next to a lot of warm pinks/fuschias helps.

a neat thing that kind of helps is that if you desaturate or saturate certain colors they can kind of take on a certain hue? not sure if this makes sense. sort of how orange here turns tealish blue the grayer it gets. so if im drawing something that's predominantly orange and i have a blue color i can just take an orange color and desaturate it until i get a color that sort of looks like blue. and that way it kind of looks more harmonious? at least to me XD

shading. i don't apply serious lighting to a lot of my drawings, but a helpful bit is that the shadows tend to be the opposite of whatever color the lighting is? i try to think first about the "mood" or the main color i want to go for in the drawing and then i pick a shadow color opposite of that. so for here, i wanted the lighting to be a coolish magenta so the shadows r lime green. if there's anything off i fiddle around until i get something i like. the shadows on the skin here were too green initially so i shifted them a little more orange.

there's a "band" of color going on between the transition of the shadows to the light. generally this could be for a lot of reasons and i tend to use it differently (core shadow? overexposure? etc etc). but this is a color post so ill try not to go too off track.

but generally digital doesn't "mix" colors the same way traditional colors do if you use RGB (cmyk is a bit better with this but is kind of a pain to get used to), so to make blending a little less muddy, i sometimes add an intermediate color to smooth things out a little. for example, mixing digitally blue n yellow tends to get you gray, but generally, blue + yellow makes green, so if im making a blue->yellow transition ill slap some green color in the middle so it flows a little better.

I do a lot more cel shading nowadays. if you've been on here for a while earlier this year i have another style of coloring but it's not really accurate to how shadows really work so i wouldn't recommend looking at it. it's mostly to add zest and texture to the underlying flat colors.

coloring your lineart does a TON to helping your colors look vibrant, though its like the garnish on a dish to me (same with shadows). i think it's good to try and play with your flat colors and try to make sure those look in order first before adding flourishes. usually ill leave it a dark, saturated color that again matches my overall palette but sometimes i go in and color them by alpha locking my lineart layer and picking a color that matches the flat colors underneath? not sure how to explain it properly.

i used a darkish purple for shuro's ponytail to match the dull red of the flat colors (more relative color! trying to simulate a black/brown while keeping the pink palette there) but a lighter crimson for laios's blond. the light was this super intense like blush pink so i thought it might be cool to add this neon salmon red in the areas of that light to really give off that vibe of a very bright intense rim light.

sometimes you could also tweak with gradient maps or color balance, which adjusts hue based on how light or dark a color is. these r fun to mess with as a final touch but i need to watch using them because they can become crutches real fast XD but those are also just tools to help you. in the end just developing a good sense of how color works and how you want to use it is the best place to start.

LONGASS ramble but yeah. tldr just kind of train ur eye for color and look at what you like best. which is unhelpful and a little sucky but it really is just observation and practice and maybe some personal zest.

happy drawing!

#SORRY THIS IS THE SIZE OF CANADA I YAP A LOT #i like being thorough when explaining myself a lot XD but i think the easiest way to get good with this is just repeat practice n observing #and figuring out how stuff behaves in certain situations and what you like to do and blahblahblah #if you have artists u like that do this well looking at how they use color might be cool #...i feel this entire post is just putting my entire thought process on blast LOLLL.#“eyeball it out” -> study some actual fundamental stuff and or intake new info or art -> apply it back to just eyeballing it out #i dont think i have a natural sense for some basics #but i dont think im naturally one of those people who grind out studies all the time and breakdowns either #i guess i just kind of like knowing the mechanations behind why to do a certain thing or how stuff works and then figuring out #how that translates into what i know nerd emoji #james gurney has a good book on color and light #if you like reading. but its very informative!#quirinahscreams #ask #anon #this is mostly just me talking about how i draw i dont think this is meant to be educational or informative XD um

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