Looking forward to Daya / Dia Dungeon meshi getting her 5 minutes of screen time

Animation Night 136: The Zagreb School

Good afternoon everyone! Welcome back to my odd little... column I guess, in which I infodump about animated films (or topics only tangentially related to animated films, like the history of the samurai) and attempt to, in some sense, curate a big collection of all the great animation in the world that I can find? That’s kind of what this ended up being, huh.

Writing about animation is tricky. After avoiding some of the most obvious clichés - it’s so smooth! - you’re left with some slightly less cliché phrases like ‘strong key poses’, ‘graphical’, ‘sense of form’, ‘energetic’, ‘weighty’ ‘strong character acting’... or maybe you throw open your mental dictionary of production terminology and praise the ‘boards’ and ‘LO’ and ‘sakkan work’ and ‘genga’, which has the great advantage of making you sound like an industry insider even if you’ve never worked a day in animation (*cough*).

To get further you need to get very specific, and start pausing on specific frames and drawing bright red over things, and pull out your deck of animation principles and artist words - timing, spacing, arcs, line of action. This is the specialty of the Twitter account Frame by Frame. A useful type of analysis but also one that is very easy to parody...

‘course you might say this is less a parody and more a perfectly legit “animation” analysis with an unusual subject.

But the real reason for all of this is that animation is something you feel more than process in words. When you create an animation, you can plan it out carefully with keys and breakdowns and arcs and timing charts (a skill that was all the more necessary when you couldn’t hit a ‘play’ button in your software) and apply concepts you might know about like ‘hand accents’ and ‘overshoot and settle’ and so forth, but even with that you are going to spend a pretty long time flipping between drawings, erasing and redrawing bits, and shifting the timing to and fro until it just looks right. And then when you watch an animation, it evokes a feeling that can’t just be broken down into all those applications of technique. And describing feelings in words is its own entire art form...

Anyway, that’s a roundabout way of... partly self-reflection, because for a series of essays about animation I don’t do a ton of actual animation analysis so much as biographising, but also to say, today’s subject is a pretty tricky one to approach!

Tonight the plan is to look into the Zagreb School of Animation - not a literal institution but a (loosely defined) artistic tradition that began in the 50s in what was then the Federal People’s Republic of Yugoslavia, centered around (you’ll be shocked to learn) the city of Zagreb, capital of Croatia.

(Tumblr is only gonna let me post five videos in here so, I’m gonna have to spread them out a bit...)

The occasion for this is the appearance of the Zagreb Film channel on Youtube, which has been uploading clean, HD releases of dozens of old Czech films. But it’s also heavily indebted to the blog Animation Obsessive, who wrote about the Zagreb Film channel, and before that, a great deal about them and specific films made by artists associated with the Zagreb School.

OK, these guys are from Zagreb, but what makes them a big deal? We can say their influence is a unique graphical style influenced by the once-renowned UPA in America, all an overt and conscious break away from the ‘full animation’ of Disney. We could talk about their influence in Eastern European animation and worldwide. We can perhaps quote a certain manifesto, from an art show in 1968...

Animation is an animated film.

A protest against the stationary condition.

Animation transporting movement of nature directly cannot be creative animation.

Animation is a technical process in which the final result must always be creative.

To animate: to give life and soul to a design, not through the copying but through the transformation of reality.

But that doesn’t actually tell you very much, and also that’s where it gets trickier, because the Zagreb School - especially in their earlier years - were crazy varied in their output. As AniObsessive put it...

The Zagreb School is a tricky thing to pin down — scholar Ronald Holloway said it best when he called it “a loosely fitting group of artists in open competition with each other.” Many of its key figures were art-school graduates. Even more had a background at Kerempuh, something like Yugoslavia’s answer to MAD Magazine.

It was never just one thing. Zagreb School cartoons are wild and anarchic until they’re sad and serious. They’re cartoony and geometric until they’re loose and painterly. It’s less of a style and more of a “protest,” per a manifesto signed by some of the key members.

So to get more concrete, we’ll have to narrow our scope to particular artists and films. I’m not going to be able to do the Zagreb School anything like justice - there have been massive books written about them, and even when AniObsessive boil it down, that gives several long articles - so take this post more as a signpost, to explore further if you’re curious...

Here is Kod fotografa (At the Photographer’s) by Vatroslav Mimica, with lead animation by Vladimir Jutriša. I’m leading with this one because AniObsesive have written an extensive breakdown of the animation style, which is a great read. But here let me put in a little background...

Traditional animation is usually divided into two broad strands. To start with, there is the famous ‘full animation’ pursued by Disney, spreading to Warner and later carried on by Disney offshoots like Don Bluth and Dreamworks. It’s a style which really came into its own in 1937, with The Old Mill (1937) and Snow White. Inspired by studies of live action film using the rotoscope (see: Animation Night 65), ‘full animation’ pursues what Disney called ‘the illusion of life’, when the drawings cease to seem like drawings and appear as a living, breathing character.

To this end, ‘full animaton’ places drawings on 2s and 1s (12 or 24fps) - mostly on 2s, speeding up to 1s for rapid actions, and applies a body of techniques summarised by Disney’s ‘Twelve Principles of Animation’ to create a sense of continuous motion: arcs, overlapping action, overshoot and settle, lots of dangling bits to shake and wobble. A huge emphasis is placed on acting, with the animator conceived of as an actor inhabiting that character and lending them unique mannerisms, drawing initially on the ‘broad’ acting of vaudeville performers but later splintering into more reserved styles suitable for more dramatic stories.

‘Full animation’ traditionally avoids certain techniques that will break the ‘illusion’. It will rarely use hold frames, or shots that are just multiplane effects. The extreme of full animation is the work of Richard Williams (Animation Night 119).

Then there is ‘limited animation’. This is mostly associated with TV animation, both in the States and in Japan, where the need to make a lot more animation in a much shorter time necessitated production shortcuts. These include

animating at a reduced framerate anime will usually animate on 3s i.e. 8fps, or even 4s i.e. 6fps, and drop to 2s for fast action

hold frames the same drawing stays on screen for a long time

partial holds when most of a drawing stays still, but a small part is varied, e.g. a character’s mouth and maybe jaw moves to indicate speech while the rest of their face stays still

moving holds a single drawing is moved across the screen without changing. can be used to, for example, make a very cheap walking shot by shooting a character from the shoulders up and moving them up and down while scrolling the background

bank shots repeated footage that is reused, sometimes every episode - e.g. henshin (transformation) sequences in old-school magical girl and super robot anime

multiplane effects/animetism when animation consists of sliding ‘book’ layers passing over each other, without trying to create an appearance of 3D space

loops particularly for repetitive actions like walking, but also sometimes for background animation - a handful of frames can be cycled repeatedly

As anime envolved, animators like Yoshinori Kanada (AN 62) and directors like Osamu Dezaki (AN 95) appeared who found ways to make animation that turned these limitations into strengths. Anime started to emphasise the storyboard and layout, with increasingly elaborate camera moves and a very cinematic approach to the animated ‘camera’. And viewers got used to animation on mixed 2s and 3s, and even started to come to recognise the special value of its ‘snappy’ feel - which is incidentally part of the reason for animators’ loathing for AI interpolators.

It’s not strictly that one is the ‘Japanese style’ and one is the ‘American style’ mind you. Indeed, ‘full animation’ has mostly been practiced in just a handful of studios, mostly in America, and almost exclusively in films, because it is kind of insanely expensive.

Then we come to the slightly more obscure terms for ‘hybrid’ styles, such as the ‘full limited’ of Mitsuo Iso - although this is subject to many misconceptions as @why-animation noted for this translated interview. But to briefly summarise, ‘full limited’ refers to mixing the techniques of full animation - constant movement, strong sense of weight and overlapping motion - with the reduced framerates of anime (typically on 3s). The iconic example is Iso’s animation of Asuka fighting the Mass Production Evangelions in End of Evangelion.

I mention this because I’m about to talk about a very different sort of ‘full limited’. The ‘reduced animation’ - a term coined at UPA - practiced by the Zagreb School is a form of ‘limited animation’... yet one that paradoxically often involved extended sequences on 1s, as you can also see in this brief ad...

The way this is still ‘limited’ is that these ‘smooth’ sequences are one of two extremes. Characters slide with uncanny smoothness from pose to pose... or they remain perfectly still, moving our attention around the frame. As AniObsessive note, the spacing is very even, where conventional animation wisdom would say you should use a slow-in or slow-out, overshoot and settle. It’s consciously extremely unnatural, in an arresting way.

So returning to At the Photographer’s... (link, again) - this film builds on that into a fascinating string of visual gags, morphing pespective, playing with shapes... it feels in some ways like Flash animation, way ahead of its time. The film’s soundtrack is entirely musical, timed with the animation in a way resembling the ‘Mickey Mousing’ of Disney, but here used to create an uncanny distancing effect. The photographer struggles to get the boy to create a proper smile, an expression represented by hyperdistorted photo collages, a technique also used (along with painted elements) in the background.

I won’t try to itemise every gag, but I think it is cute how the kid’s mouth floats around his face like a little fish.

Czech animators at the time of this film, and honestly pretty much throughout the existence of the ‘school’, were working with truly limited resources. Pavao Štalter, director, background artist and lead animator of The Masque of the Red Death (1969) once described it...

All of our cameras are made from aircraft scrap from landfills. We are madmen who work with abnormal effort. Instead of making a film in three months, it takes us a year. Everything is done by hand. … Here in my little room in the studio, it is 45 degrees Celsius in the summer, and we work ten hours a day! I really don’t know how long we can say, “Tomorrow will be better!”

Masque shows a very different face of the Zagreb School, with the gloomy, textured, bleak world of expressionist paintings. Its animation is a mix of cutouts and traditional animation in paint. Its process was discovered experimentally, Poe’s story is presented without dialogue, though there are some really choice screams and there is a song with lyrics. But mostly it’s an incredible atmosphere piece.

Masque, writes AniObsessive, was also unusual in its funding: while Zagreb Film received funding from Tito’s government, in an unusually hands-off arrangement, it didn’t go very far. For Masque, a large part of the money instead came from the American company McGraw-Hill, primarily an educational publisher, a serendipitous connection made by a display of the film’s storyboards at MoMA. You can read more about its story here.

That is also the end of my video limit for this post, and I haven’t even begun to cover more than a fraction of the Zagreb school’s important films. So please hold on for part 2, where I’ll write about a few more in the next hour before we begin our film night...

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: Steve is being forced into getting a Twitter accounts and logs into Tony’s for inspiration - one mistake later, he finds more than he asked for. Meaning, his boyfriend has a tickle kink and Steve has a lot of thinking to do. 

length: 5 468

a/n: Happy Friday 13th! *throws confetti* To celebrate I am posting a fic that contains one of the biggest fears for people with tickle kink - someone finding out when you are not ready to tell them. It has a happy ending, promise! Hope you all will enjoy this fic, feedback, reblogs and likes are appreciated and needed! fic inspired by this prompt. 

—————

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

Long story short - Steve was getting a Twitter account.

Long story long...

It all started with a certain PR meeting held for the Avengers team, just this time, it was Steve vs the whole PR team. The problem was simple - Steve didn't like social media and didn't have an account on any of the numerous websites and apps. Fighting with aliens, planning new missions, schooling SHIELD agents - those were the zones he felt comfortable in. Some thought that the hidden reason behind the hostility towards social media was, that Steve, born in the 1920s, had a problem with using modern technology. Some called it endearing, some pathetic, the truth was, that Steve fairly quickly mastered each piece of technology he was given, skillfully using any given device. After all, he wasn't dense. Many apps were quite useful, some just plain entertaining, and it required a lot of navigating, but he managed to find some favorites. Just when it came to social media… Steve didn't feel like sharing his private life with unknown faces. Call him old-fashioned, but he liked having direct contact with people and as much as he liked to take a stop during his random walks in the city to talk with people who called themselves his fans, it quickly became too overwhelming. He wasn't good at such things and always thought he was too awkward and not what people expected. Steve didn't like that kind of pressure and didn't like the almost weekly notices from the PR team that he needed to make himself more 'accessible'. By no means, he was expected to stop and talk to everyone who ever called him or share mission details with strangers, but he needed to create a more public persona for Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Hence, Steve was encouraged to take a plunge into the world of social media. 

And he really, really, really didn't want to do that.

One - it was pretty tedious to keep up with everything. Tony eagerly showed him all social accounts he had - Twitter, Instagram, Facebook profile, Youtube, and it all just gave him a headache as Tony chattered which media was good for what and gladly showed him his own Instagram page (mostly workshop photos and meals Steve had prepared for him, which was kinda sweet) and if Steve became slightly interested in that, his interest dropped after hearing about filters and tags. Too much work. 

Second - he didn't have time to keep his theoretical accounts active and post new content regularly. Or more, he didn't want to make time, preferring to spend it on reading or training or hanging out with Tony or anything else, really. He had been gently suggested, that some celebrities (Steve's eyes widened a little after hearing that - was he a celebrity?) hire someone else to run their social media accounts. Steve shook his head at the proposition, knowing that none of his teammates did that and so he shouldn't either, not mentioning that everything posted wouldn't be sincere.

Third - Steve considered himself not an interesting person. He didn't have Tony's charisma, who, of course, had the biggest social media following ever, Thor's flair, which made his Youtube channel where he tasted food sent to him from all over the world by his viewers a huge success or Clint's humor, whose Internet activity limited to commenting on funny animal photos and home videos and people loved him. Even Bruce, seemingly even more awkward and distant when it came to dealing with a privacy-invading crowd, was doing great, kindling the interest of young kids in science with a series of easy to repeat experiments at home and railing about the importance of protecting and preserving the environment. Even Natasha didn't have a problem, her social media accounts full of useful self-defense tips for everyone who needed to feel safer. Steve just couldn't find anything in himself he would like to share with the world. He liked to keep his art private, his relationship private, and his whole life private. 

It should be the ending statement.

It wasn't.

And so Steve, feeling scolded, got back to his and Tony's shared floor, planning to hide, except that he was assigned a very simple task for the week.

Get a Twitter account.

Steve sat heavily on the couch, putting elbows on his knees and palms around his cheeks, definitely not pouting. Why on Earth did he need a Twitter account? Wasn't it enough that from time to time he appeared on Tony's account, being the supportive boyfriend, and allowing Tony share the photos of their date nights or even the short movies from Steve's training when Tony was proudly showing off Steve's impressive physique and using those damn filters and making small stars and glitter swirl around him. 

Speaking of Tony, he could use his boyfriend's advice... Steve checked his phone and knew that Tony was still stuck in a business meeting, and won't be back for an hour or so and as much as he wanted to not think about the Twitter issue it kept coming back to him. What was he supposed to write on Twitter? Something that wouldn't give too much about him, but would be safe and entertaining. He needed inspiration. Maybe a walk would clear his mind but as Steve was getting up, he noticed Tony's tablet laying at the edge of the coffee table. 

Well... Tony wouldn't mind if he took a peak, right? Granted, he never used Tony's tablet before without his boyfriend’s permission. It felt too personal and barging on privacy and it was almost a silent agreement between them that Steve won't touch Tony's electronic devices and Tony won't look through Steve's sketchbooks without prior agreement. But it was different, right? Tony's Twitter account was out there, for everyone, so it didn't matter if Steve would install the app on his phone and check the account, or go to the source and look through Tony's account. It might even help him to understand better how the app was working. 

Steve took the tablet and unlocked it, searching for the Twitter app. Letter T on a blue background. Steve pressed it and skimmed over the screen, looking at the design of the app. Huh, it looked very different from the account owner's point of view. He scrolled down the screen, seeing a lot of text, too much text because wasn't there a limit of signs per tweet? Further, into the app, Steve saw more of things he didn't recognize, didn't see any posts from other Avengers, instead of images and gifs and -

"Woah," Steve gaped, taking in what he was seeing. He quickly scrolled up, his face becoming heated, unsure what he just saw. For a minute, he turned the tablet in his hands, trying to decide if it really belonged to Tony and not someone else, but who else would have a hot red and gold cover, resembling the design of the Iron Man suit. It had to be Tony's tablet, which meant...

Those posts were Tony's. That account was Tony's. Tony had two Twitter accounts? Steve looked back, just now noticing that it wasn't Twitter after all. At the top of the screen on a background of dark blue in white letters was written Tumblr. Steve didn't hear of the app, it wasn't listed as one of the most popular ones for celebrities and that's probably why Tony used it for -

Steve wasn't exactly sure for what. For something secretive. Something he wanted to hide. Things he didn't admit even to Steve. 

Cautiously, Steve scrolled down again, trying to keep an open mind and be more cautious. He wasn't a prude, he knew that people had different kinks and it was completely normal. Heck, he and Tony had a very healthy sex and intimate life and the sight of Tony tied down for their playtime always made Steve's blood boil with lust and desire and they did indulge in some kinks, Steve current favorite one included spanking Tony's bouncy ass and watch it jiggle and the skin turn red. Tony had no problems with sharing his kinky fantasies and Steve was always willing to give it a go, sometimes proposing things on his own, like wax play, which wasn't only sexy but also artistic - Tony's body colored with drips of different colored wax was a beautiful sight. This... This was something different, Steve didn't think to consider. 

There were pictures, that without context seemed innocent, like an array of feathers on a pillow. Some were less subtle and showed a part of sucked in stomach, escaping from a coming closer feather duster. The gifs were the most intriguing - a tied up, blindfolded man, laughing and squirming, while a different man was...

Tickling him?

Steve's brow furrowed as he watched the gif, frame by frame. There was no doubt that it was tickling, fingers gliding over tied man's armpits and sides. Steve expected this to be a prelude, something more to follow, but it was all. Tickling was the main point. Steve blushed when he realized that if there were gifs, there had to be a video and who knew how long it was. How many minutes would it take to bring someone to the brink of hysterics, to make them crumble, but at the same time make it pleasurable? People were not forced into filming porn and following that principle, there were not forced into filming tickle kink videos.

And that being said... 

"Huh..." Steve mused out, bits of information falling into one picture. They never discussed it, but in the back of his head, Steve had this thought that Tony enjoyed being tickled, or at least didn't mind terribly. The way he squirmed between Steve's tickling hands but didn't try to run away. How he laughed and screamed for mercy whenever Steve targeted a sensitive spot and always seemed a bit disappointed when the tickling ended but masked it with a smile and complaints of being assaulted. Sometimes, Steve just felt provoked into tickling his boyfriend, like that one time, Tony had taken his sketchbook and hid away, refusing to say where he hid it and Steve had to tickle the information out of him until Tony was absolutely incoherent from laughter and breathless. 

That was cute. All those shared tickle moments were cute, but Steve never thought that they could be... hot. And intimate. He looked back at the gif, at the way the tickled man arched and bucked, but was not able to escape the ticklish strokes delivered over his skin. What if Tony was the one tied and spread in the chair and Steve was the one standing behind, dotting his fingertips over the bare torso, having that sense of power and control, enjoying the ticklish tremble of the bothered skin. It became a tempting image in his head. 

'Guuuuys, I don't know what to do.'

Steve's eyes caught on some text among the images and gifs. A separate post.

'I still can't tell my bf that I like being tickled. I just can't! There is this block in my head -'

Steve read the text, feeling that he might know the author. 

'I even did that thing you recommended with hiding his stuff away -'

Definitely knew the author. At the top of the post, he saw a name, probably the username and clicked on it. Blue background color, and image of feathers and the username in white bold font. The Spare Parts Man.

That was one major hint...

Steve scrolled down this page, seeing more text and images of people being tickled, some like, a gif that was of a zoomed in stomach, the belly button tickled by a tip of the feather, signed with a 'omg, goals', whatever that meant. Steve tried to search for the text he saw on the previous page, but couldn't find it anymore, instead saw more posts, where people seemed to be interacting with the author.

'Hi, SP! I was the one who sent you the asks with hiding your BF's stuff -'

'I am sure your BF will understand, from what you said, you are dating for a long time -'

'You still didn't tell him??? What are you waiting for, GO GO GO!'

Steve pursed his lips together, feeling upset that Tony was so willing to share with strangers, but not with him. This whole site seemed so secretive, and while Steve felt a bit betrayed, he started to think about things from Tony's perspective. Tickling wasn't a mainstream kink. Bondage, spanking, food play - all the things they had tried seemed to be more acceptable in the sex world while tickling... Some people enjoyed it, some hated it. Steve was somewhere in between. It could be a fun thing among loved ones, but could quickly become overwhelming and unbearable. Steve didn't think about it earlier, but he really liked tickling Tony. He loved the way his body twitched, the sound of his laughter, and the feeling of closeness and trust in the action. For Steve it was fun. For Tony, it had to run much deeper, forming stronger connections than it did for Steve. 

'I don't want to lose him. What if he thinks I am a freak?'

No, Steve would never think that. Tony was the great love of his life and Steve accepted him on every level. 

"Oh, babe..." Steve sighed softly, reading more posts, some screaming nervousness as Tony was pouring his heart out, feeling miserable with his inability to tell Steve the truth, some so heartwarming and oozing happiness when Tony was describing Steve's last tickle attacks and how incredibly good and completed it made Tony feel. 

That. Steve wanted to make Tony feel like that every day. Satiated and fulfilled and safe. 

No more secrets. 

Carried on the moment, Steve pressed on an icon with a pencil and began to write. 

***

Tony was bored. So, so bored. He caught a glimpse of Pepper sending him a scolding look and straightened up in his seat, pretending to pay attention. He just wanted to go back home and curl up next to Steve, feeling Steve's fingers stroking his hair and maybe, if he got lucky, Steve would rub his belly, using just enough pressure to make him smile and feel like melting. He started to smile at the thought and Pepper sent him a confused look. Uh oh. He better control himself. Tony grinned sheepishly at Pepper and set his face in a schooled, thoughtful look, trying to focus his attention on the meeting. Just half an hour more... It was all ending statements, so it was nothing bad if he decided to check his social media, right? Cautiously, Tony took out his phone and unlocked the screen, keeping the phone under the table. A new tasting video from Thor, with a package of sweets sent from the Netherlands. Tony made a mental note to drop later to Thor's floor and ask if he had any stroopwafels left to share because they were amazing with black coffee. Clint commenting on funny cats videos, Tony added it to his watch later list. As usual, his own social media were bursting with notifications, people raving over Iron Man and asking for more videos of Steve training routine, which, Tony couldn't blame them, the sight of his boyfriend working out was heaven. He even decided to check his Tumblr, curious if anyone sent him some more tips or maybe just left him a nice message -

Oh, that was weird. Usually, he had maybe two or three messages, some reblogs, and a few comments. This time, his app was bursting with notifications and Tony didn't post anything that could cause such a commotion in the last days.

'WHAT. WHAT????"

'Nooooooo... Please don't break up with him! He loves you so much!'

"The hell, dude! You invaded your bf's privacy like that?? You're the worst!"

Tony didn't understand anything. Maybe he clicked and shared something by accident. There was a slight possibility that his account was hacked. Maybe -

Maybe it was way, way worse. 

There was a new text post on his main, one he didn't write.

'Hi, this is Spare Part Man's boyfriend. I found this account by accident and me and my boyfriend have a lot to talk about once I see him.'

No. No, no, no.

"Tony? Tony, are you okay?!"

Tony didn't realize he started to hyperventilate until Pepper's voice brought him back. Everyone was staring at him and Tony felt like vomiting.

"I am fine," Tony said, not meaning it, his voice coming out squeaky. "Can we - excuse me, I have to go," Tony rambled out, sending a sorry look in Pepper's direction and trying to walk out of the conference room as calmly as possible. It felt like the whole world was spinning around him, making him feel nauseous. Tony stumbled to the window and pressed his face against the cool glass, trying to soothe his heated skin and get his thoughts back in order.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Maybe it was never supposed to happen, staying as his hidden fantasy and dark secret. What if he deleted the account, right here, right now, would he be able to convince Steve that it never existed? 

No. Steve wouldn't fall for it. And Tony felt so stupid for creating that account in the first place, but he needed a place to vent. He didn't plan on socializing, sharing his life, just get the urges out and move on. He just... Wanted to feel accepted. Find people who thought the same as he did. Not feel so alone.

And he would end alone because Steve definitely was going to dump him.

***

"I am back!"

Tony was a genius. He had numerous diplomas to prove it. Yet, he decided that the best thing to do would be to march into his and Steve's shared floor, acting like nothing ever happened. Maybe if he managed to keep his cool he could put this whole Tumblr thing as a social study. Just a research on kinks. No biggie. He could do this.

"Tony, come to the bedroom for a second!"

Somehow hearing Steve's voice made this situation very real and not like Tony imagined it. He couldn't say anything from the tone of Steve's voice, it was neutral, not angry, but also wasn't the cheerful, loving one Steve had towards him. On usual days, Steve would come to him, resembling an excited puppy and lick his face - kiss, Tony meant kiss, and then they would sit on the couch and share their day. Their bedroom was a private, closed space and once Tony set his foot there, there was no way back. 

Feeling a nervous twist in his stomach, Tony peeked into the bedroom, just to feel if the situation was as bad as he feared. Steve was on the bed, forehead creased in thought, and was looking at the space in front of him until he spotted Tony from the corner of his eyes.

"Tony - " Steve started, sitting up straight, pulling shoulders back.

"No, Steve, I - " Tony walked into the bedroom, trying to make his voice strong. Just remember what he had planned and it would be fine. "I want to talk first, okay?" 

Steve blinked and frowned lightly, but kept his lips tight. Alright, if Tony insisted.

"Okay," Tony nodded, trying to give himself some courage and began to pace around the room. "I know you found my Tumblr account," he said the obvious, struggling to keep his voice firm. "And - and it was not true, you know that, right? I just - research - an experiment to - ahh," Tony quickly got lost in his words, noticing Steve's look changing to a confused one. "I - ah, fuck, fuck, fuck - " Tony couldn't get any coherent words out and stopped and hid his face in hands. He continued to quietly curse, not knowing how to get out of this mess and not lose everything. 

"Babe..."

Tony almost jumped away, when Steve came closer and wrapped arms around him. After a moment of hesitation, Tony buried himself into his soldier's arms, his face pressed against Steve's neck. Probably the last hug he would receive from Steve. This whole thing won't make Avengers stuff awkward at all. What if Steve would quit the team? Tony couldn't imagine not being able to see Steve anymore. He needed him. He would change, he would do better. Steve couldn't break up with him. 

"Of course that I am not breaking up with you," Steve said suddenly, and Tony winced, not realizing he said it out loud. "Is that what you thought?" Steve asked, sounding shocked. Reluctantly, Tony nodded. Somehow he was used to being rejected and walking away from problems was one of the things he did and expected the same happen to him. 

"God, Tony," Steve said in an exasperated huff, not believing how quickly this whole thing could escalate in Tony's mind. Then again, he should know, because Tony did think too much and sometimes didn't stop his thoughts on time, letting them drag him deeper and deeper. "Tony, I am not breaking up with you," Steve said again, just to make sure the words sunk in his boyfriend's head. "And I am sorry," Steve gently put his thumb and forefinger under Tony's chin, encouraging him to eye contact. 'Sorry you turned out to be messed up in the head,' Tony finished in his mind, looking into Steve's blue eyes. 

"I am sorry for barging into your space when you didn't feel ready to share yet," Steve said, closing the distance between them and leaning his forehead against Tony's.

What?

Tony didn't reply, just stared, his brown eyes widening. Steve was... apologizing to him? Not the other way around?

"I read some of your blog," Steve said and Tony panicked again, Steve holding him closer when he felt brunet's body tense, "and I understand how hard it is for you to talk about it and how important it is for you. I really do. If anything, I am... a bit disappointed you didn't tell me. Why didn't you?"

Tony's mouth twisted into a scowl. He was disappointed with himself too, but it was hard. Harder than admitting that he liked being pinned down by Steve, or spanked, as it all seemed... simpler. It was obvious why people who enjoyed it were turned on by it. Tickling wasn't easy to explain. 

"I wanted to," Tony finally spoke, his voice coming out quiet, "I didn't know how," this wasn't a good answer. Tony closed his eyes, not able to look at Steve. "I was embarrassed, I guess."

"Hmmm," Steve hummed in understanding, waiting for Tony to continue, but he didn't say anything more. Tony had no problems with voicing out his needs on his site, but face to face with Steve, he was fumbling and struggling for words. Anonymity gave him a sense of control which was being stripped away from him, layer by layer. Maybe with time, Tony would open more, and it was on Steve's side to nurture that vulnerable mindset until Tony would feel strong enough and confident to voice out his true needs. 

"Then... can you tell me why you like it?" Steve tried, sounding gentle and not judgmental. Keeping an open mind was the key here.

"I don't know," Tony said quickly, sounding defensive. He didn't mean to, but it was stranger than him. He didn't want Steve to judge him, to think less of him, but... It was Steve. Steve who was always so understanding and didn't laugh at him and did his best to keep Tony feel accepted. It won't work if Steve would be the only one willing to share. "I guess," Tony corrected himself, trying to be more open, "I like the trust in it. And closeness," he said, tugging on Steve's clothes and hiding more into his boyfriend, "and, uh, it feels good."

"Feels good?"

"Yeah," Tony admitted, burying his heated face deeper into Steve's neck. "Feels really good. Especially when you are the one ti - doing it."

"Oh," Steve said, carding his fingers through the short hair on the back of Tony's head. Tony shivered, just slightly, from the light touch, smiling against Steve's skin and Steve felt an urge to touch him all over. This time differently, more aware and more intimate, paying closer attention to the reactions. "So... you wanna do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

Tony moved away from Steve, showing a confused face. That kinda felt like mocking him, but Steve's face was honest. And it would certainly change the mood and make Tony feel better about this whole day. "I don't know," Tony said, just to be safe, "do you want to do it?"

"Heck yeah."

"What? You do?" Tony asked, his mouth falling agape at the enthusiasm. 

"Sure. You like it and I like tickling you too. It's a win-win, right?"

Tony started to smile in relief. It was really happening. Steve accepted one of Tony's darkest secrets and even wanted to take part in it. Tony could barely wrap his mind around it, already feeling excited and giddy.

"So?" Steve asked again, eyes sparkling, waiting for permission from his boyfriend.

"If you keep asking, it takes the surprise factor AWAAHHAHA!" Tony's newly found boost of confidence was efficiently cut off when Steve latched hands to his sides and squeezed repeatedly. Tony doubled over in laughter and squirmed away, watching with a pounding heart as Steve followed him, smiling beautifully mischievous. "No, no, no, wait, Steve! STEHEVE!" Tony screeched in laughter when Steve ran forward, pushing Tony on the bed, and falling with him. "ACK! STE - hahaha! Waaait!" Tony wailed when fingers were going up and down his body tickling intensely. When Tony became pink in the face and a little breathless, Steve stopped, leaning in and kissing Tony's smiling lips.

"I love you, babe," Steve whispered, looking at his lover.

"I love you too," Tony answered, his heart hammering from the ticklish rush and all love he had for Steve. 

"Are we good?"

"We are good," Tony assured, still not believing that everything turned out so great. 

"Good," Steve smiled, and just now Tony realized that somehow both of his wrists were in soldier's hold and Steve easily pinned his hands above his head, leaving his torso exposed. "Because now," Steve said, sitting on Tony's thighs and slowly sliding his free hand under Tony's shirt. "I want to test every ticklish spot on you."

"Oh fuhahahck - " Tony wriggled uselessly, his stomach sinking in when Steve gently ran fingertips over the soft skin. "Steve, Steve, pleaheehehehese!"

"This is just your tummy and you already are so ticklish. It is a very promising start."

"Ahhahaha!"

"Oh, is this rib ticklish? How about this one? And this one?"

"GAAA HAHAHA!"

"Oh look, the higher I go, the more you laugh. Sooo, this means that when I do this -"

"PFF HAHAHAHA!"

"That's one ticklish armpit you have, babe! Let's find out if the other one is as ticklish -"

Steve was grinning, watching Tony crumbling and laughing, coming apart under his fingers. Steve was right, it was a win-win for both of them.

***

"You should write on your Tumblr."

"Huh?"

"You should," Steve repeated, rolling on completely naked Tony and kissing his lips, "write on your," a kiss on the chin, "Tumblr," Steve finished, blowing a raspberry into Tony's neck.

"HAAHAHA! Stoooop," Tony tried to swat Steve away, feeling too blissful to move. Of course that a long, intimate tickle session changed into an amazing make out. It was incredible how the tickle foreplay increased their appetite and how wonderfully responsive Tony became. 

Steve laughed and rolled on his side, looking at Tony with adoration. Laughing made Tony ten times more attractive in Steve's eyes, and Tony was off the scale to start with. 

"I am serious, babe," Steve tried again, gently poking his finger all over Tony's bare belly, making him squeak funnily and curl up, "write on your Tumblr. Everyone has to be worried."

"Ah hahaha... Ohkahay!" Tony agreed, shielding his stomach with one hand and using the other one to reach for his phone. "Uhh... Should I update and delete it?" Tony asked. With everything working out so great, there was no reason for him to keep that account. No more secret lusting, when he had it all in real life.

"If you want to," Steve said truthfully, "or maybe you can keep it for a bit longer because I might need some inspiration on how to take you apart."

"Ahhh, not sure if I want to give you access to that sort of power," Tony teased, opening the app. "Huh, people kinda hate you."

Steve shrugged, understanding that what he wrote, did sound menacing, even if it wasn't his intention. "Just write that we are fine and your boyfriend plans on fulfilling your each and every one tickle fantasy."

"You do?" Tony asked, voice trembling with excitement.

"All of them, babe," Steve assured, smiling broadly. He had remembered some of the things he read and gifs he saw, and could easily imagine Tony on the receiving end. 

Looking enthusiastic, Tony got to writing. Soon, Steve got up and leaned over Tony's shoulder, looking at the screen.

'Hi, guys. Sorry for the sudden silence but as you saw we had a situation here. It is all good now, me and BF talked, and he turned to be all sweet about it, not bragging, I just had my first tickle session and it was amazing! So, I just wanted to give you an update, that I am fine. More than fine. My BF said that I can keep this Tumblr if I want to and he will even use it as an inspiration, so aaaah, can't wait. Just don't give him any ideas! I am gonna talk to you all soon, but for now, I and my BF have plans. See you later!'

After the post got published, Tony and Steve didn't have to wait for a reaction.

'AAAAH! I AM SO GLAD EVERYTHING IS FINE! YOU BOYS HAVE FUN NOW!'

'Awesome, couple goals.'

'That's great, dude, but I hope your BF apologized.'

"That's the one that doesn't like me, right?" Steve squinted his eyes, pointing at the last comment. Tony laughed and nosed Steve's cheek playfully.

"It is okay, I like you," he smiled. "Do you want to have a nickname? That will make it much easier for me to write when you are involved."

"Um, sure," Steve said, not entirely sold on the idea, but not wanting to shot Tony's idea down. "You call yourself Spare Parts Man, right?" Steve asked and Tony nodded. "Soooo... How about you call me Iron Man?"

Tony's smile dropped in surprise, and he laughed mockingly. "Seriously, dude?"

"Hey, the darkest place is under the candle," Steve said, sounding defensive.

"Fine," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes dramatically. He reblogged the post and added an update.

'BF wants you to call him Iron Man. I know, lame.'

"Ack!" Tony almost dropped his phone when Steve scoldingly pinched his side. Soon the first comments came.

'Ah you sound like a superhero couple, how cute!'

'I am shipping you both. #relationshipgoals'

'Wow, your BF is not very creative, isn't he? But fine, let it be IRON MAN.'

"Write to this one that I don't like them either," Steve hissed, looking at the last comment. 

Tony laughed and turned to Steve, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Long and sweet. The kind of kiss that was the perfect happy ending to a tickle kink coming out story.

"Oh, interesting!" Steve suddenly said, ending the kiss too soon and looking at one of the comments, smiling wickedly. 

"What is int - noooooo!" Tony wailed, understanding the reason behind the smile. It was stronger than him and Tony started to panic. "It is a lie, Steve! Don't believe the lieeee no no aaah HELP!"

Steve laughed, wrestling Tony down and pinning his hands once again. If Tony was already getting this worked up, there was no way Steve would back up.

"No, please!" Tony giggled, kicking his legs, trying to wriggle away, as Steve's menacingly moving fingers were getting closer and closer. "I cahahahan't!"

Somehow, Steve didn't believe him. Instead, he believed the comment.

'Hey, this is for Iron Man - I am sure you know already, that SP's stomach is really ticklish, but did you try tickling his belly button specifically? From what SP writes it is a very ticklish outie. Have fun!'

When Steve pressed his finger over Tony's outie delicately and Tony burst into giggling, almost maniacal laughter, Steve was in heaven. It was settled, Tony was keeping his blog for further tips for Steve. 

With no time to waste, we have a tremendous news update on Dragon Age 4’s current iteration known as “Morrison”, as many development secrets were revealed in BioWare’s brand-new hardcover book of “Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development.”

A lot of the questions that we’ve all been asking over the past few years, finally have an answer, all thanks to this book. I will be delving into all of the Dragon Age 4-related content in this book; however, I wholeheartedly advise you pick up the book for yourself because it is filled to the brim with insights, information and behind-the-scenes reveals on every BioWare game to this date.  

It’s full of so many captivating, inspiring and amazing stories that showcase BioWare’s incredible journey over the past 25 years.  

In any regard, we’ve got a lot to get into, so leaving no stone unturned, we’ve got some updates regarding Dragon Age: Morrison, the current-rebooted project code name of the next Dragon Age game.

Morrison:

Along with this amazing retro-styled font of Morrison’s code name - that I’m totally going to use in future videos and thumbnails - we actually have a small plot synopsis on this working title.  

It reads as followed: “Tevinter Bound – a sneak peek at the follow-up to Inquisition.”  

“As BioWare entered its twenty-fifth year, the Dragon Age team was hard at work on Morrison, the code name of the long-awaited follow-up to Dragon Age: Inquisition. The game, helmed by executive producer Mark Darrah, will take players to Tevinter as events of Inquisition and Trespasser threaten to forever change Thedas.”

We’re going to Tevinter! Of course, we already knew that based on Trespasser’s ending, Tevinter Nights, and the developers already hinting that, but it is still very nice to see hear that in a plot outline.  

In addition, the most interesting factor about this synopsis, is that for the first time BioWare have confirmed that “Morrison” is indeed the code name for the current Dragon Age project, which outrightly confirms that Jason Scheirer’s Kotaku article on “The Past & Present of Dragon Age 4” carries merit and truth to it, meaning that we can indeed trust the entire contents of Jason’s article.  

Regardless, sticking with the 80’s retro theme, BioWare staff have themed shirts for the project, and they look absolutely amazing. Please, BioWare Gear Store release these one day, if at all possible, these designs are so good!  

The book then goes on to show very familiar concept art that was showcased within the Gamescom behind-the-scenes trailer, however, this time, we have actual descriptions on each of the art pieces, and what they’re portraying. So, we don’t need to spend another 40 minutes speculating about what the pieces could show.  

The underwater shot which we assumed to be Isabela accompanied by what looks like Dorian with a sword, an undead and a female dwarf, appears to showcase the Lords of Fortune, a newly-introduced faction within Tevinter Nights. 

The synopsis says:  

“Where there’s treasure, there’s adventurers braving death to get it. The Lords of Fortune are always on the hunt for treasure-wherever it may be.”

The next shot, which I speculated it as Tevinter’s capital city Minrathous, has a synopsis that says:  

“The glittering hubs of Thedas are beacons of civilization and bulwarks against the night.”

Following that, we have the mysterious Antivan Crow lady concept art with the synopsis:  

“The Antivan Crows have perfected theatrical assassinations. The Antivan Crows are celebrated for their mastery of stylish slaying.”

And then we have a most recognisable mural, one that many of us have spent way too long staring at, tinfoiling over its endless possibilities. The synopsis of The Dread Wolf Rises concept piece says:  

“One of Nick Thornborrow’s beautiful paintings showing an old friend with a shadowy threat!”

Following that, we have Nevarra’s undead operating on a dragon, with the synopsis saying:  

“From their Necropolis, the Mourn Watch guard Thedas from occult threats”

And then we have – hold on, what’s this, a new piece of concept art? Roll on the tinfoil, I’ll read the synopsis first and then we can go from there, as it states:  

“The Deep Roads teem with evils both new and old, known and unknowable.”

I won’t spend ages delving into a single piece of concept art, but we can see the Deep Roads with plenty of light coming from the surface. It’s a beautiful shot, that I’m sure is building a mood for potential locations in the next game.  

The final concept art piece shown is one from the trailer, however, it’s not cut-off anymore. When it once looked like an evil Cetus, it now reveals something even more wicked than a sea dragon... A figure with multiple arms, red eyes, a curved headpiece, holding a spear. Is this an ancient God? Could it be Ghilan’nain? A Lovecraftian sea-hybrid-monster? Or is it just a crazy idea thrown together by a concept artist, because why not?  

The synopsis is the most intriguing and provides a further context for the next Dragon Age game:

“The Evil Gods have Thedas in their sights and only heroes can stop them. The shadows of the past stir, and new heroes must rise to fight them.”

There are many “gods” in Dragon Age, the Old Gods, the Elven Gods, the Maker, the Titans, etc. You could certainly consider each of them to be evil too, but on a whim, with the whole “shadows of the past stir.” I’m sure this synopsis is referring to the Elven Gods, given Solas’s scheme that will return the Evanuris to Thedas once more.  

Taking my tinfoil hat off for a moment, this book expertly describes concept art stages relating to BioWare, and I need to touch on what exactly these pieces could mean going forward, because they most certainly could just be conceptual drawings without much context for the next game.  

The book quotes Dragon Age 2’s development regarding concept art, saying:

“In the early stages of any project, before the concept artists are aware of any writing, they like to just draw what they think cool story moments could be. It’s not unusual for the team to then be inspired by those drawings and fold them into the game as the project progresses.”

And, even further than that, Matt Rhodes, who is the Art Director of the next Dragon Age spoke a few words regarding Dragon Age: Inquisition’s conceptual art stages:  

“As multiple teams worked on their corners of Inquisition, lead concept artist Matt Rhodes spent weeks creating images to help solidify and drive a vision of what the game could be.”

“It was partly to encourage and remind myself of what the potential of this project could be,” Matt says. “We all imagine the finished game. I wanted to get that on paper, to remind everyone we are making something that could be pretty cool.”

So, while we’re all so excited to see these amazing concept designs and imagery, and we love to correlate it all to the next game, remember that these designs are very early work building a vision for the next game, they’re just being used to represent what idealistically the developers would like the game to end up like, or what insane ideas the concept artists have for the game.  

Many of these ideas won’t turn out in the final product, but it’s still so nice to see this work already.  

Wolf Rook Book:  

Moving on, we can put an end to a five-year mystery, we finally have answers on that enigmatic red “Wolf-Rook" book that Mark Darrah has teased for half a decade.  

One of my first ever videos on this channel was delving into the early pages of this book, back then I had a hunch that this book was the next Dragon Age game’s early concepts and designs, like a shiny development doc for the team.  

And I was on the right tracks, as followed:  

“The book was an internal guide for developer and publisher eyes only that summarized the vision for Dragon Age: Inquisition’s follow-up, a project code-named Joplin. The Joplin project has since been revised to such an extent that its code name changed to Morrison, but the red book still contains plenty of ideas likely to appear in the next Dragon Age. While most pages remain highly classified, here are a few Mark said we can publish.”

There’s a small description of The Qunari with some other concept shots, the paragraph reads as followed:

“The Qunari are followers of a religious text of principles known as the Qun. Though Qunari may be of any race, most are part of a race of large humanoids with horns.”  

“For ages the Qunari have proven a formidable opponent to the rest of Thedas, almost conquering the continent until a united force of every Chantry nation pushed them back into a tense stalemate. Recent events have reignited the Qunari offensive, however, and their forces are in open conflict with the Tevinter Imperium, while their spies and agents are active in every nation.”  

And at the bottom we have a Creatures double-spread page with different concepts very similar to those seen in Inquisition, the paragraph reads as followed:

“Animals, monsters and misplaced magical experiments: creatures stir apart from the conflicts and machinations flowing across the continent. Creatures range from the lowly nug up to the ultimate apex predator, the dragon. The next Dragon Age will feature our widest and most varied set of creatures to date. While often quite simple in implementation, creatures provide variety through differentiated animation and appearance.”

So, “Wolf-Rook” is still relevant, somewhat confirming that the work that went into Joplin, may cross over into Morrison, which is very exciting because Joplin’s vision for a Dragon Age title sounded amazing, so to hear aspects of that work pouring into this new project is absolutely fabulous. I had a hunch that the red book was still valuable to the current project, because we’ve seen a lot of “Wolf-Rook” teased this year, Mark Darrah has not stopped showing off his stash of red books. So, I’m very glad it’s here to stay for the current iteration.  

Dragon Age Week:

Next up, we have an update to a story I talked about in March of this year, Mark Darrah teased a picture of his laptop with the BioWare Slack server shown at the bottom of his screen.

One of the channel-titles within the server was one by the name of “DA Week”, and thanks to this book, we know what “Dragon Age Week” actually is:  

“Dragon Age Week is a five-day period during which members of the Dragon Age team can pursue creative projects that in some way benefit Dragon Age. The work done during DA Week, and its erstwhile cousin DA Fridays, sometimes found its way into releases.”  

“The giants in Inquisition came out of a Dragon Age Week,” executive producer Mark Darrah says. “We also had a board game made that we were going to put into Inquisition, but we just didn’t have time to. It’s referenced. It’s a dwarven chess.”

So, I do wonder what kind of ideas have come out of Dragon Age Week recently that has then ended up in the next Dragon Age. Hopefully, one day we’ll have a new book that tells us Dragon Age 4’s secrets and we can visit this topic.  

New BioWare Vision:  

Moving on to the final major update, thanks to this book, we have a greater understanding about the vision BioWare have going forward. According to General Manager, Casey Hudson and Dragon Age, Narrative Director, John Epler.  

Casey Hudson spoke on the “old” BioWare and how their changing paths to a “newer” BioWare:  

“We can’t go back to where we’ve been,” Casey Hudson says, now the studio’s general manager. “The way that we worked, all of those stories and the crunch and eating pizza for six weeks straight and all that kind of stuff, as fun and memorable as it was at the time, those things won’t work for where we’re going.” 

As BioWare grows, Casey says it must learn better ways to work while still embodying the values laid out by Drs. Ray Muzyka and Greg Zeschuk.  

“It starts with the ones that were there at the very beginning with Greg and Ray of humility and integrity,” he says, “Those are super important.”

Other pillars include a passion for excellence and courageous creativity.  

“We used to exemplify this not because we were courageous, but because we didn’t know better. We would try things and fail and try something else until we got it right, and it was very experimental. But what can happen is, once you do know the consequences of failure, you can very easily start retreating. And at that point, it actually does take courage to put yourself out there and try something new.”  

Casey says. “We’re not super young and inexperienced anymore. We do know better, but we still have to try and do some crazy stuff anyway.”

John Epler shared on the change going on within BioWare:  

“I am excited for what the future holds. I think BioWare is changing. I think we’re at a crossroads where we can either accept that and move into the new BioWare, or we can try to cling to the past. We have to be respectful of our origins without being constrained by them. It’s an exciting time and I’m really looking forward to what the next five years brings.”

“’I’m one of those people who is probably going to be here until they have to literally wheel my desiccated corpse out of the building, because I love working here and I love the people I work with and I love getting to come into work every day to have long, detailed conversations about how eluvians work.”

All in all, I’m incredibly excited and optimistic for BioWare’s future, they’re aware of their flaws, while knowing what makes them great. They seek to humble themselves, while changing direction, they want to avoid crunch while being experimental. I think we’re going to see the company bloom when they inevitably release the next Dragon Age, and I am totally here for that.  

Dragon Age Day

Before I leave you, Dragon Age Day is quickly approaching, and it seems BioWare have plans this year. EA Community Manager, Jay Ingram tweeted about fans asking questions for the Dragon Age team, in prep for plans on Dragon Age Day. I’ll link the tweet down below, so you can ask as many questions as you’d like! It seems that BioWare may stream on Dragon Age Day, so do watch out for that, and give them a follow on their Twitch, also linked down below:

https://twitter.com/JayKingIngram/status/1325197450907275264

https://www.twitch.tv/bioware

Regardless, this is where we part ways. There was so much that this book uncovered, I highly recommended picking It up for yourself, it’s truly worth it to any BioWare fan. There was also some future Mass Effect stuff, but I’m saving that for a future video that I’ll do at the start of the new year. And I most likely will do future videos on other topics revealed in this book.  

What have you done before you turned 18 Gone on a date Joined a sport club Dyed your hair Kissed someone Gone on a road trip Gone to prom Accepted yourself Accepted other people Attended a concert Learned self-defense Asked out your crush Learned to drive Learned an instrument Learned a new language Gone on a plane Gotten a job Gone out alone Learned to cook Given a donation Cooked for your friends

About Me What I am currently doing: studying | working | traveling | chilling | nothing yet | retired My relationship status: single | taken | it’s complicated What’s important to me: family | friends | love | money | travel | health | pets | career My personality: funny | loyal | honest | kind | caring | creative | generous | introvert | ambivert | extrovert I am: watching tv | listening to music | eating | drinking | hanging out with friends | hanging out with family | in pajamas | in my bedroom | in my living room | somewhere other than my home

This or That chicken or pork lemon or lime asparagus or eggplant mushrooms or pickles strawberries or blueberries carrot or corn zucchini or broccoli noodles or rice apple or pear avocado or pumpkin notifications on or notifications off procrastinate or do everything in time messy or in order work alone or group work make questions or answer questions extrovert or introvert computer or laptop lose things or find things passenger or driver dine-in or delivery

Fashion formal or casual neutrals or colors denim or leather flats or heels every day or designer polka dots or stripes jeans or overall shorts or skirt boots or sneakers jewelry or accessories purse or bag

-

I wash my hair every other day. I have an iPod. Apple juice > orange juice. My grades could probably be better. I can’t drive, but I want to learn. I would love to live in a big city. My shirt is black. I spend a lot of time on Facebook. I am watching TV right now. I share a room with someone. I would consider myself upper class. I keep a journal. I am a slow typer. I have a lot of guilty pleasures. I have had one of my pets since it was a baby. My nails are painted. I am always on time. I’m forgetful. I am the middle child in my family. I play video games. I wish I had more free time. I have too much free time. I am a good artist. I love to talk on the phone. I have a blanket covering me right now. I have brown eyes. I am Asian. My room is painted pink. I know where I want to go to college. I wore jeans today. I love baking. My job is stressful. I do not wear makeup. I play basketball. I am good at origami. Chemistry is my favorite class. English is my favorite class. Gym is my favorite class. I am using a laptop. I smoke weed. I am single. I have a lot of friends. I have no friends. I am very smart. I use Instagram. I have been to New York. I celebrate Christmas. I like Kanye West. I have good spelling and grammar. Dogs are my favorite animal. I drink coffee. I have done modelling. My favorite colour is either red or green. I am Jewish. I am a terrible singer. I am texting someone right now. I was born in the 90s. I know all the words to a Madonna song. I can play drums. I believe in Miracles. I like horror movies more than comedy movies. I rarely cry. I have no allergies. I have had the same phone for over a year. I have a child. My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t use their turn signals. I bite my nails. I have never had a proper job. My room is tidy. Baby Spice was my favorite Spice Girl. I am a picky eater. I smoke. I listen to more old music than new music. I miss Myspace. I still use Myspace. I don’t like it when people I don’t know very well touch me. I have some sort of mental disorder. I have been in a school play. I would rather be hot than cold. I think I am a good friend. I love iced tea. I have an addiction to something. I like little kids. Italian food > Mexican food. If I could go anywhere in the world, it would be somewhere in Asia. I am a morning person. I have been to see a movie in the past month. I am thin. Fried chicken is delicious. I have already planned out my wedding. I am bisexual or gay. I have been in a car accident. It is between 1 and 6pm right now. I can cook. I have plans tomorrow. My boyfriend’s name starts with ‘N’. I am over eighteen. I can rap. Pepsi is my favorite soda. I have Pinterest. My phone needs charging. I don’t like beer. I did not/am not going to my prom. I am a brunette. I have a fear of crowds. I worked out today. My first name has more than five letters. My dream car is a Mercedes. I get more than six hours sleep a night. I like 80s music. I am wearing PJs. I want to go into medicine. Chocolate is the best flavor of ice cream. When I drink, I usually drink vodka. I would hate to live forever. I am going to a party within the next two weeks. I need a hug. Astronomy interests me. I am happy.

-

(This is by no means supposed to be used to figure out what your actual MBTI type is! You can find out what is yours through online tests or careful self-analysis. This is but a very simple Tumblr bold survey to kill some time, based mostly on each type’s most common characteristics.) Bold what you identify with: INTJ You think being ambitious is actually a positive trait. You are ambitious yourself. Learning how things work interests you. You consider yourself to be a rational person. You tend to be rather clueless when it comes to flirting. It’s hard to control your perfectionism. People have said you’re too judgmental before. You’re usually pretty self-confident. You’re hardworking and try not to slack off too much. 5/9 INTP You’re very creative. You prefer to be honest and straightforward about things. You tend to be a private person. Being left alone with your thoughts is often refreshing. People have considered you a weirdo before. You have a hard time expressing your feelings. You tend to be the skeptic one. It’s harder for you to believe in something that isn’t a fact. You’re really interested in science. 6/9 ENTJ You have little patience for stupid people. You have little patience for people in general. You come across as arrogant sometimes. You’re usually the leader of the group. Shy is something that you definitely aren’t. People have said you’re inspiring before. You never give up until you’ve tried everything you can. You wouldn’t mind being the boss of a team. You are often stubborn. 5/9 ENTP Debating excites you rather than scare you. You usually seize the opportunity to give your opinion on a topic. You enjoy learning about all sorts of different things for fun. You talk a lot in social situations… …Especially when what is being discussed is something you like. You’re good at brainstorming. You find it hard to focus on one thing at a time. You get bored too easily. You greatly dislike routine.

2/9 INFJ You believe in the paranormal/supernatural. Life would be a lot better if we lived in a world with magic. You’re very passionate about the things you care about. You’re usually altruistic. You’re very sensitive about criticism. You prefer to keep your private life to yourself. You can be too idealistic sometimes. Your perfectionism can be a problem. Fantasy stories are your favorite. 5/9 INFP You’re usually open-minded and flexible. You enjoy writing. You enjoy the arts in general. Working on things that require creativity is fun to you. You’re usually the peacemaker among your friends. Taking things too personally is one of your flaws. You get sensitive easily. People think you’re difficult to get to know. You feel really bad when you can’t help someone. 8/9 ENFJ You’re the friend people come to for advice. You’re very tolerant of different points of view. People say you’re the “natural leader” type. You can keep your cool in a stressful situation. You’ve gotten into fights on the behalf of your friends before. Your self-esteem is either up high or down low. Making decisions is very complicated for you. You’ve been considered naive before.

3/9 ENFP You’re way too curious. You’d be willing to try anything once. You’re always up for an adventure or exploring. You’re very observant of your surroundings. Making friends is easy for you. Your mind tends to hop from one thing to another without focusing. You tend to overthink too much. 2/9 ISTJ Honesty is the best policy to you. You do your best to meet your obligations. People sometimes are amazed by how patient you can be. You’re usually very responsible, or try to be. It’s hard for you to lose your temper. You’re often very hard on yourself, especially when something goes wrong. Once you have your mind set on something, it’s hard to change it. You prefer routine over trying new things.

5/9 ISFJ You’re the “mother” of your group of friends. You’re usually quiet in social situations. Taking care of others is something you genuinely love to do. Your feelings can get hurt way too easily. You often get out of your way to make people happier. You’re quite shy. You repress your feelings way too often. Change is something you prefer to avoid. You’ve gotten in trouble for being too nice for your own good before.

5/9 ESTJ You finish most of the things you start. You get shit done, period. You’re a very organized person. You prefer to stick to what you know works better. People have considered you a traditional person before. You can get aggressive when defending your ideas and principles. It’s hard for you to just relax. You hate to admit that the opinion of others matters a lot to you.

4/9 ESFJ You’re a sensitive and warm person. You’ve done charity before. You feel terrible at the mere possibility that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. You end up apologizing a lot. People can confide you with their secrets knowing you’ll take them to your grave. Being needy is a problem you have sometimes. You get insecure easily. If a stranger strikes up conversation with you and starts ranting about something bad in their life, you’ll listen with genuine interest and want to cheer them up.

7/9 ISTP You tend to be optimistic about life. You’re actually a very logical person. You aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty when the situation gets tough. You’re usually quite relaxed. Worrying about the future is pointless, so you just live the present. It takes a lot to scare you. Sometimes it’s almost like you have no sense of self-preservation. Commitment is not something you’re very comfortable with.

3/9 ISFP You’re very artistic. It’s very important for you to pursue your passion. You avoid conflict at all costs and try to keep it minimum. Science may interest you, but it’s not something you’re crazy about. You’re the chill one in the group. When things get stressed, your go-to reaction is to shut down emotionally. You’re sensitive and cry pretty easily. Competition thrills you instead of scaring you.

4/9 ESTP Socializing is fun for you. You’re a go-getter for the most part. Mind games are not your thing - you prefer to communicate clearly. You like to stand out and be original in your looks or style. Emotionally charged situations are awkward for you. You’re prone to rebelling and being defiant. “Carpe diem” is a quote you live by. People have said you seem insensitive before.

5/9 ESFP You have very good people skills. You bring your artistic side into your words, actions, clothes, hair etc. You’re talkative, and sometimes talk way too much for your own good. Traditional people are usually boring to you. You love change. You’re really bad at planning long-term. You struggle a lot with things that require you to sit still and quiet. You need things to be exciting in order to get you motivated. 5/9 According to the survey, i’m INFP.

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I really, really, really love books! Sometimes, I can be really dramatic. I miss my sibling. ^They live somewhere else. I wish I had more friends to do things with. I just got a new phone. My cell phone is blue. I have a case for my cell phone. Lately, I haven’t been taking as many surveys as I usually do. I love apple juice. I have Verizon. I have a ton of books. ^My bookshelf can’t hold them all. All the good shows seem to be canceled or are over. I stay home on new years and watch the ball drop on TV. I used to hate Charles Dickens, but now I love him. I currently need a job. ^I’ve applied to many places. I like getting new sneakers. I have really bad back pain. I have scoliosis/know someone who has scoliosis. I have really bad heartburn. I’ve ordered a lot online recently. ^Mostly books. I know how to knit. ^I’m pretty damn crafty. I have a wireless mouse for my laptop. ^I’m not used to it (I keep using the one on my laptop). The Simpsons is better than Family Guy. I recently went shopping with my dad. I miss all of the old 90’s shows!

Do you have any tips for making animation-friendly designs? My designs are intentionally accurate to real-life cats, and I love them, but I know they would be super tedious to animate, or even use in a comic! How do you make such simple designs that are still so amazing and beautiful?

Well, it just takes practice and iterations I think! Mostly. But I have a few tips that I fall back on frequently I could share so Here’s my quick hot take on making animation designs:

Simplicity is your friend. I had a professor that used a term “simplexity” to describe the balance needed in order to make a character unique and easily recognizable, but also not hell to render out in a full animation. This is going to mean different things for different productions, for example something on the scale of Disney can have a character like John silver with a multi faceted robot arm whereas if we’re trying to do something low budget (*COUGHforfreeCOUGH*) you’re going to want to minimize the headache people have when drawing your character by leaning into the simple side of this term, so that they don’t want to murder you and will still be your friend after the project is over. (more under the cut!)

So what does this mean exactly? You’ll want to keep the line mileage to a minimum. For cats, this means limit the amount of detail and rendering you give the fur in your linework. I’ve seen Artists who break this rule magnificiently (like Raevi goddaMN GIRL) but for a design it is much easier on artists to streamline down to core body shapes and key character Accents in the fur (like tail shapes, cheek floofs ect). This can be pretty diverse, but I’d minimize it as much as possible (if possible down to three accents, more on this later).

For examples, On lionblazes design (line art only at this point) his Character traits are his tail shape, Mane, and Scribbly eyebrows, all aspects that mean more strokes are being taken and work done, but that are easily recognizable between frames, and artists. I also have brought up Dovewing’s design because it’s more complex in it’s line art, but I could simplify it down even more to just her butt shoulder and ear floofs and still recognize her character silhouette. In fact, paring it down even further would strengthen her recognizability.

The amount of strokes you have people draw in cleanup will drastically change the amount of time it takes to render a character. Between Firestar and Bramblepaw in this shot Bramble easily took twice as long to line (or more!) thanks to his beautiful luscious curls.

Next! Principle I use in simplexity is the rule of three. For whatever reason, the number three is your best friend.  It’s not as weirdly symmetrical as two or four, and maintains a unique organic-ness to it without getting carried away by five or seven. Now what am I even talking about? Pretty much everything. This is the secret of markings. This is the secret of character accents. This is the secret of color picking. The Rule of three is your best friend.  

Take Brambleclaw for example.  I gave him three stripes/markings on his face, and three on his side. It feels nice and natural and organic, without being overwhelming. I also gave him three specific fur accents in his line art, his ear tips/eyebrows, Belly floof, and shoulder puff. I used the rule of three in picking his colors, three main pelt colors, and three accent colors (eyes are always gonna be more complex if desired, people love rendering the shit out of eyes) and even so, three colors for the eyes. I used his lightest pelt color in only three places, and his Pink color in only three places, and his darkest color in only three places (eyebrows, Tail tip, and if I had thought to write it down, his paw pads). Even his forehead marking has three parts to it. You do it enough and it becomes really natural and subconscious. Of course, like all rules, you can still break it if you need to, but It has been one of my best friends.

Alright last thing to think about for now, (see what I did there? There are more things, but it helps people remember better to learn Three at a Time), are Shapes. Specifically using Simple identifiable shapes when constructing the body or face of your character. This is going to sound similar to the line mileage point, because they are related, but they are different. This is focusing on the macro details of a silhouette whereas Accents are about Micro details. This point also has the added benefit of helping characters look and feel related to each other if you use it potently!

Let’s take Hawkfrost and Mothwing for example. Specifically their faces. Hawk I designed first, and I wanted him to feel dangerous, and maybe a little twisted. So I decided to integrate a lot of triangles into his design because, a triangle’s shape language reads as dangerous. They’re pointy, and sharp, like teeth claws, and knives. We can’t in good conscious put an especially triangular object next to a baby because it inherently feels dangerous. They’ll poke their eye out with that tall prism. Other shapes have their meanings as well, Rectangles (cubes) are sturdy, and circular objects are the opposite of triangles, they’re the shape of eggs, fluffy pillowy things, and babies. They’re inherently safe, and soft.

Pull back from digression. Look at hawkfrost and his triangles. They have sharp claw like tips, which are emphasized even with a noticeable downward curving to their points. This motif is repeated multiple times, in his cheeks, his ears, his eyes, his chin, his nose. This becomes unifying, and inherently feels dangerous and curved, or twisted.

Now look at moth. She has triangles too, but I deliberately went through the effort to make them rounder, softer, inverting the angles of her eyes to feel sad and not cruel. Yet she remains similar in enough ways that she feels related. Her nose curves in a similar downward manner, her ears retain the out down curve without the dangerous point to them. The fur accents of her cheeks add to the roundness, making her feel softer while sharing hawks cheekwings.

Let’s take another example, Bluestar and Snowfur.  They are proof that similarities do not have to be reserved to face shapes alone to give that strong feeling of relatedness. In some ways I think theirs is the strongest sibling bond I’ve read in the books, and that obviously translated to how I designed them haha! The idea behind their design was ‘curvy sturdy’ which is reflected in their circular based hourglass figures emphasizing Bluestar’s ‘broad shoulders’. I tried to make their heads more of a squashed circular shape, to give it more sturdy strength while feeling soft and maternal. Her ears are very rounded at the tips, and the particular downward turn is easy to identify and reflect in both cats. Lastly, their square “pants” because let’s be honest, both these she cats wore the pants in their families. There are also enough differences that in pure silhouette you would still be able to tell Snowfurs bushy tail apart from Bluestar’s thinning fur, and snows’ cheekfluffs from blues wide round jaws.

Of course I am not perfect at all of these elements, and there are even more things I could say that make designs unique and easily animatable while also identifiable.  If you are looking for more or different suggestions, I liked Tenielle Flowers’ Video she released on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO-kNlyHn8A .

And good luck!

The Union of Beauty and the Beast

Birthday Gift for Francis! | @yunalaqi

Author - Ghost Characters - Warwick, Qiyana, Sizani and Firefang. Word Count - 5,538

It began as many stories of happiness and fulfillment do--with a single spontaneous moment. One crucial meeting that might’ve never happened had the stars not aligned just right, something inconsequential at first blooming into something beatific and majestic. Much like a seed germinated in rich, fertile soil that will one day grow mighty with the right hands to nurture it along and the right level of determination to weather any hardship.  For this, the moment was the day Qiyana and Warwick’s agents agreed on putting together a collab between the two artists. The soil was the constant proximity they had, and their desire to ensure a finished product of superb quality. Meanwhile, the growing fondness they had for one another, the distance between their hearts shortening, were the hands responsible for nurturing the sapling. And their determination to endure strife came through in their refusal to cut off contact once the project came to a close.  They knew one another for several years following their collab, and nothing was ever the same after.  It was most apparent in the works produced by Warwick.  No longer were they harsh, cutting to the quick about seemingly disparate things without any genuine passion behind the words. Rather, more and more harmonious melodies came forward to accentuate loving lyrics directed towards an unseen individual. Each verse was delivered with such enthusiasm and heart that none thought him capable of before. More videos were released about issues around the world, paralleling an increasing effort on the part of the concrete jungle’s king to leave the world a better place than he found it.  Without warning, the beast seemed to have found his long-lost spark amid the embers of the dying fire in his breast.  More subtly was the change in the empress of True Death.  She’d always been a hard-working woman dedicated to seeing the dreams of her and the family she found in the band come to fruition. But after the collab project? It was as if she was trying to outdo herself at every opportunity: rhymes became more fluid, beats resonant all the quicker, the meaning behind every word hit home harder, and the choreography of each video more and more eye-catching.  All in all, it seemed the woman was hellbent on ensuring the stride she hit with her band was but the first stage of TD’s success.  But they never let their evolving relationship slip out to be disseminated to the public. It was all very hush-hush--kept to the coziness of private moments. Of course, this didn’t stop some tenacious people from capturing snippets of intimate moments. Nor did their efforts fully curtail any rumors from being born and spreading to anyone willing to listen. Yet no one realized the entirety of the situation, all thanks to the two’s desire to keep these moments private.  That is until the day Warwick, without concern for anyone watching, decided to take a knee before his queen, his empress, with an outstretched hand and open box.  Then the world of music was abuzz with commotion.

Warwick never expected the sheer scope of planning and setting up a wedding required. This was compounded by the fact that preparing parties had never been his forte, let alone something as paramount as a wedding. This was due in large part to his disdain for large get-togethers. He’d never seen the appeal of trying to rub shoulders with socialites or other well-to-do folks, whether they were part of the music world or not. His dislike for such affairs as those was so great, in fact, that his agents more or less had to bribe him to attend soirees that were very important to his career.  This time, though, was very different--he actually cared about the proceedings, for one. He cared so much that the consideration of performing all manners of awfulness on anyone who tried to spoil the proceedings had crossed his mind a number of times. Yet while he wouldn’t be happy if Qiyana wasn’t, Warwick did his best to console his betrothed when the idea of something going awry worked its way into her head. One way he did so was by taking an active role in helping set the whole thing up.  That way, at the very least, she didn’t have to shoulder the burden alone.  However, this was easier said than done as Qiyana insisted the two of them refrained from seeing one another until the day of, not until she was walking down the aisle. She explained to him--over text--how disaster awaited any bride or groom who met in person before the ceremony. And while he may not have believed such superstition, he was more than willing to humor her to abate her concerns.  Thus he kept his phone on his person at all times, and never let a single notification from his cell go unnoticed.  A notable instance of Warwick needing to shoulder something Qiyana couldn’t see to because of how hectic her schedule was growing the closer the date approached: when she asked him to meet with the wedding planner to help decide on the types of flowers to be used in the decor. It seemed rather trivial to him, but the planner ensured that the proper arrangement of beatific bouquets would cement the memory in every guest’s mind. The skeptic in him wanted to disagree on principle. But he held his tongue and went to go meet with the planner.  They met at the building where the ceremony would be held. I t was an extravagant ballroom lined with massive windows along the back wall as it curved around and provided an overlook of a sandy coastline, the tide lapping against the beach’s particulate without rhyme or reason. One could close their eyes and be serenaded by the oceanic hymn nature was so gracious to provide. There was a gray overcast preventing the usual soft streaks of radiance from cascading through onto the polished marble floor. Rows of seats draped with stark silk and tied off towards the center with an indigo bow provided an aisle for the bride and groom to walk down. Where the aforementioned couple would stand, in front of the priest, was an archway carved out of a single immense block of marble. Floral patterns were conjoined with idyllic scenes of a perennial forest that could trace its history back before the emergence of mankind, all etched into its surface. This ornate aesthetic was furthered by the strips of fine fabric hung from the trusses of the ceiling, each accented by strips of golden embroidery.  Truly, the only thing missing from such a scenic view was a final splash of life and color--the flowers.  “So, I have a few options based on you and your bride’s tastes to choose from--although considering Qiyana’s favorite seems to be the hibiscus, I thought it best to narrow the choices down to species of that specific type.” The way the planner spoke caused Warwick’s ears to chafe.  The woman snapped her fingers three times as she walked with the towering beast down the aisle, stopping and turning to face him once at the spot where the vows would be sworn. Several other people hurried up with an armful of fresh hibiscus bouquets in tow, the bright scarlet heads of the flora bouncing in sync with their carriers’ step. Tiny pearls of gold dotted the tip of the flowers’ stigma, yet the vivid appearance belied a rather modest fragrance.  “These look good, yeah,” Warwick murmured, nodding to himself.  These would no doubt compliment the overall decor if placed with the seats as per Qiyana’s outline. But something nagged at him.  “...these also gunna be used ta scatter on t’e aisle?”  Preoccupied with jotting something down on the papers attached to her clipboard, the planner dismissed the people with a wave of her hand. “Hmm?”  She didn’t even look up from her notes. “Oh. Yes, that would be the plan.”  Looming over her, the beast tapered his eyes and lifted his lips high as either ear stood to attention. He’d never enjoyed having someone not afford him the courtesy of meeting his gaze during a conversation. But this woman, in particular, irked him something fierce.  “Wou’d it be possible ta change t’e kinda flow’r used fer t’at?”  This was enough to catch her attention, evidently, as she looked up with bewildered eyes.  “Ye-es...?”  “Oka’, t’en I’d like ta use Forget Me Nots instead, thank ya.”  “...might I ask-”  “No.”  And with that, the man was sauntering off.  Later that day, he’d crash back into the sofa of his living room with an exasperated sigh before pulling out his phone. Even with the custom design meant to accommodate his unique biology, it was still a hassle to use. Regardless, he pulled up his wife-to-be’s contact information and send her a text--he only hoped she wasn’t busy with anything or too tired to respond.  >>Rohi--I need to ask you somethin.  Afterward, he placed the thing facedown onto the fabric straining against his chest and waited. Thankfully it wasn’t much of a wait. For within the span of a few minutes, the notification blip caught his attention.  >>Yes? What is it? And did you talk with the planner about the flowers?  >>Yeah, I did--that’s actually what I wanted to ask you about. Is it okay that I asked her to change what kind was used on the aisle?  >>Well, what did you change it to?  >>Forget-Me-Nots.  >>Your favorite? They’re really pretty, can I ask why you wanted them?  >>Forget-Me-Nots represent memory, ya ken? Like, if you use em, then it’s like saying you never wanna forget somethin. Mom said she had em next to her when I was born... they were there when she died, too. Our gettin together? Is somethin I never wanna forget, not for a second.  There was no response for several moments.  >>Rohi?  >>Sorry, sorry. That’s so sweet, I love it <3  >>Anythin for you, lov’ <3  Without realizing, Warwick had started smiling like some lovestruck fool--because he was one when it came to Qiyana.  >>I love you so much, Warwick <3  >>Not as much as I love you  >>Nuh uh, I love you more, I have a trophy that says so  >>Well I’ve got four times as big a heart as anyone out there, so I got much more to love with  And it went on like this until the chimera, along with his wifey, passed out.

Frazzled nerves and a stomach full of butterflies were common experiences for women on the day of their joyful nuptials, but Qiyana was anything but a common woman. For her, the day leading up to the ceremony filled her with exponential euphoria and excitement at the thought of being united with her hubby. She’d been smiling the whole time while touching up her visage with a tidbit of makeup. But these feelings were nowhere near as intense as they were now that she was standing in front of a mirror in the dressing room of the building the marriage was taking place in. Something which did not escape the notice of her omele, Sizani, even while preoccupied with helping her grandchild slip into her wedding dress.  At her ripe age, Qiyana's omele was still a beatific woman wielding wisdom and overt authority in equal measures from the dark pools of chocolate amid an ocean of white in her eyes. She was the kind of individual people came to for sage advice yet never understood what was given until the exact moment they’d need it. Her snow-white hair was pulled taut into numerous dreadlocks that curled down past the nape of her neck and rested against her shoulders. Sizani was often seen wearing delicate fabrics colored in differing shades of purple, accentuated by the ornate jewelry commonly found on her person.  Suffice to say, Qiyana owed her beauty to what she inherited from her omele--or so the old woman claimed.  Despite all of her stern demeanor, though, Sizani was more than eager to crack a few jokes and tease her grandchild with her choice of man. It was enough to get Qiyana to crack a smile and giggle alongside her grandmother. She even returned the ribbing in kind as they continued to fit her for her dress--spending time with her omele always put a smile on her face.  Eventually, the dress was fitted snug over Qiyana’s curves.  The outfit boasted a soft palette of pinks and shades of white, as well as the finest silk money could buy. A window exposed her back, framing the veiled skin like a picture one would keep on their nightstand. Strips of transparent material along either fitted sleeve evinced her mocha flesh, each coming to a unified point at a single ring of precious metal around her middle finger. And up from the profuse transparent frills billowing out from the chapel trailing a foot behind her to the decotellage exposing her cleavage, stark embroidery fashioned in the likeness of blooming flowers interwoven with heart-like shapes decorated the fabric. Said decotellage brought attention to the various pieces of jewelry Warwick had bought for her over the years with the centerpiece being a necklace that had half of a heart-shaped locket dangling at the end.  It was as if the Empress of some exotic, far-off kingdom had come to bless the peasantry of a third-world nation with her presence.  Spinning in a circle once, twice and thrice, an ear-to-ear smile worked its way onto Qiyana’s countenance. The same delight was evident on Sizani’s face as she clapped several times. Save for the moment she was signed on by the TD producer, there was no moment in her life that filled Qiyana with as much euphoric joy as the day of her marriage.  “You look perfect~!” Sizani said.  “I know I do, but thank you for reminding me,” Qiyana responded.  As if to further reinforce this fact, there was a series of excited yaps from the third occupant of the room. He normally came up to his mother’s, Qiyana, knee but now was only about mid-shin height with her high heels on. Big ears he’d yet to grow into had only just begun stiffening a few weeks prior, so both were still partially floppy. There was a tiny pink ribbon secured around his neck in place of a collar for the special event. A coat of tawny brown fur with accents of fiery gold covered the body of a wolf puppy that’s barely a month shy of half a year old. This pint-sized bundle of energy and jubilation was Firefang, Qiyana’s most precious baby.  Firefang had been snoozing away atop a fancy downy pillow near where the two women had been fiddling with the dress, and now that they were done, he was up and ready to hoard all of his mommy’s attention.  “Seems like your baby wants to remind you, too.”  She shuffled over and bent over to pinch either of her baby’s cheeks, stretching them out with a grin and giving his head little shakes. Qiyana even scritched behind his ears and placed kisses atop his forehead. This was met by more yapping and a blep of his tongue. He was satisfied with the affection she showered him in.  “Careful, you’ll need to reapply your makeup if he starts giving you kisses.”  “Thank you for the concern, but it’ll be fine-”  There came a knocking at the dressing room’s door, then the voice of Sizani’s husband informing the trio that it was a few minutes until they had to go. So, unfortunately, the hijinx occurring between those within the room had to be concluded.  Sizani approached Qiyana with a soft grin, hands folded over one another against her waist, before reaching out to swaddle her grandchild in either arm. While usually reluctant, the melodica empress leaned into the embrace with a tightness her normal disposition belied. It was the kind of affection she’d never received from her supposed sisters, even her own parents. That was but one reason why she made sure none but her omele and her husband received an invitation to the wedding.  There was fierce yapping from the side, garnering the women’s attention, as Firefang demanded to be included. They smiled and scooped up the canine to be squished between them in the hug. After a moment, once Firefang was balanced atop Sizani’s shoulder, they pulled away and Qiyana finally glimpsed the sheer intensity of pride and exultation burned in the other’s eyes.  “I’m so proud of you,” Sizani whispered.  “I’m so happy you came,” Qiyana breathed.  “I wouldn’t miss my precious granddaughter’s big day even if someone offered me the whole world.”  To witness the sheer joy softening the bride’s face at that moment would’ve been to gaze upon the sun itself as it crested the mountainous horizon with its rose-tipped fingers. For a moment, warm liquid welled up at the corners of her eyes--but being who she was, Qiyana did her best to wipe them away.  Another knock came at the door to serve as a reminder.  “Yes, yes, we heard you the first time, []! Everyone can wait while I congratulate my baby!”  This earned profuse apology on the part of her husband, a confused mmm-ing from Firefang and a hearty chuckle from Qiyana.  The elderly woman huffed a moment, annoyance contorting her visage a moment, before laughing with a sigh and moving Firefang from her shoulder to a more stable grip in either arm and hand.  “No matter what anyone says about you, know that your omele loves you more than anyone--even that lumbering man who’s fallen for you. Okay? You’re the best singer out there, and that man is the luckiest man alive to get to be with you.”  “I know, I know-”  “And if he ever mistreats you!--”  “Omele, please! He’d never do that, but, still... thank you, thank you so much for everything. For always supporting me; for always being there for me. It meant... so, so very, very much.”  An ear-to-ear grin spread across Sizani’s face, “It was always a pleasure to support you...”  Without another word, the two shared yet another tight embrace before parting anew and moving towards the door.  “Shall we?”  “Lets~!”  “YAPYAP!!”  When the door opened, Qiyana was greeted with the jubilant warmth of her omele’s husband and one of her best friend’s smiling faces. They were present for several reasons with the chief among them being to take Firefang off their hands. Each gave the bride their congratulations, sharing a hug and cheek kiss with her while passing off a bouquet of Forget Me Nots and hibiscus, before going off to take their seats with the tiny spitfire in tow. There was a brief moment of struggle when doing so, though, as the puppy was loath to be apart from his mommy. But since it was two people he liked doing so, with the aid of Qiyana’s kisses and reassurances, Firefang was willing to acquiesce.  After they departed, Sizani extended an arm towards her granddaughter and Qiyana took her up on the gesture and interlocked it with her own arm while resting the opposing limb’s hand against her omele’s bicep. Then they began their trek.

Qiyana heard before she saw anything as a delicate piano began its solo serenade of the people invited to the affair. For a moment, there’d been the chatter of those now seated accompanying the piano. But they were very quick to die down to nothing. Then her nose picked up on the duet playing out between the modest fragrance of the hibiscus and the much stronger scent of the Forget Me Not flowers, the latter of which was far more restrained than what it could be had whole Forget Me Nots been used. And once she turned the corner into the open archway leading into the ballroom, she, at last, saw what she’d been anticipating from the moment Warwick got down on one knee.   A trail of Forget Me Not petals led up to where Warwick and the priest stood beneath the marble arch. The former boasted a charcoal black tuxedo, even its custom size left the fabric straining against his bulk, bereft of its sleeves with a maroon red tie secured around his neck. The fur atop his head was slicked back to match the rest of his kempt pelt’s tidied aesthetic. Either of his ears was upright until she appeared, then they angled back slightly as his forehead smoothed while his brow raised up. His eyes, brimming with emotion, widened and his muzzle relaxed, jaw dropped ever so slightly. Framed by the soft palette of reds, yellows and oranges with indigo undertones that would grow increasingly skewed towards violet as the evening marched on into dusk were the people that’d been invited. It was not a large gathering of people by any means as this was a very intimate, private ceremony between those important to the bride and groom, primarily: the members of Qiyana’s family; Yasuo, Akali, Senna and her husband, her best friend and omele’s husband who made sure to keep Firefang from acting too rambunctious atop his seat, the wedding planner, the photographer hired to capture every second of the event, and a seat reserved for someone paramount to the groom.  Who was this individual?  Why it wasn’t a person at all.  Rather, the cushioned seat propped up a single framed picture--the picture it contained was of Warwick’s mother, smiling with her arms wrapped around someone that’d been removed by someone who’d torn the photo.  Sizani tightened her arm around Qiyana’s, getting her to look her way to exchange one final smile before regarding the path ahead of them anew.  In sync with the piano, the two sauntered down the aisle as everyone present turned to watch the scene unfold. Everyone was smiling and quiet, save for Firefang who started yapping upon noticing his mommy. And with every step closer she got to her soon-to-be husband, Qiyana’s heart skipped a beat.  Finally, her and her omele parted with a kiss as she took her place in front of Warwick and Sizani took her seat next to her husband. The look in Warwick’s eyes, as they usually did, told Qiyana everything she needed to hear--just like that, in an instant, every second they couldn’t be together was forgotten, swept away by the deluge of overwhelming joy coursing throughout her psyche. Then the piano came to a waning conclusion as the priest cleared his throat and opened the book he’d been holding against his breast.  “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the presence of God, to witness the joining together of Warwick and Qiyana in the holy covenant of marriage. Warwick and Qiyana recognize that marriage is an important part of God’s plan for mankind. Marriage is not just a social occasion with a religious touch thrown in. It is a service of worship from beginning to end, in which vows are made, prayers are offered, and blessings are given.  “Warwick, if it is your intent to marry Qiyana, please respond with “I do.” Warwick, do you take Qiyana to be your wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for as long as you both shall live?”  “I do.”  “Qiyana Yun Tal, if it is your intent to marry Michael, please respond with “I do.” Qiyana, do you take Michael to be your wedded husband, to live together in holy matrimony, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for as long as you both shall live?”  “I do~”  By now, those in charge of him managed to quiet Firefang down.  “The ceremony of marriage is the first and oldest ceremony in the world. It was celebrated in the beginning of time in the presence of God himself. Marriage is a gift from God, given to comfort the sorrows and magnify life’s joy. Qiyana and Warwick, in all of life, rare is the moment that is filled with more hope, more joy, and more expectation that this sacred moment. By God’s design this moment will never be repeated, but rather be cherished as long as you both shall live.  “A good marriage is created.  “The little things in your life will become the big things. You will never be too old to hold hands, never be too old to say good night or for a gentle kiss. A good marriage is remembering to say “I love you” on a regular basis. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together, leaning on each other for strength and support. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is providing an atmosphere in which each of you can grow. It is finding room for the fruits of the spirit; which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  “It is not only marrying the right partner--it is being the right partner.  “So much preparation has gone into making this moment a special occasion for you two and your guests. These next few minutes are more important than anything else that will happen today. These are the moments that you will look back and remember when you have children, when you have arguments, when you buy your first house together.  “Don’t ever forget the words that you say this day; with God’s help, they will sustain your marriage through all of life’s ups and downs.”  The subtle angling and twitching of the man’s ears were no doubt caused by picking up on people tearing up from the occasion.  “To all those who have joined us to witness this special commitment by Warwick and Qiyana,” he made a broad sweeping gesture out towards the bridal party, “you play an important role in the lives of this couple. Your attendance here shows that you care for them and are supporting this marriage. I would ask that your support of this marriage not end on this day, but that you continue to support the union that they commit to.  “It is often easy for us to undermine the value of the marriage commitment by saying simple things like “you don’t deserve this, you really should think about divorce” or even taking sides in an argument. Guard the words that you say, in jest and in counsel to this couple. Commit today, as friends and family, to uphold this marriage to the best of your ability and never do anything to harm it.”  He turned and regarded Warwick, craning his neck up to do so.  “Warwick, God has given you a unique personality and talents that add to this marriage. When Qiyana was asked why she chose to marry you, she says that you make her laugh, you got along with those most important to her, and above all else, you cherished her like no other. She said that she appreciates that you value her opinions, yet she can trust you to make good decisions for your family. Paul reminds us in Ephesians, that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. At this moment your love for your bride is apparent, I challenge you to grow in that love as you grow old together in life. Put her needs above your own and lead selflessly.” And then he shifted his gaze down to Qiyana.  “Qiyana, as is apparent today, your groom finds you beautiful! When asked why he chose you to be his wife, Michael’s first response was “she saw something in a lumbering beast.” In our conversations together, it became apparent that without you around, Warwick might have stayed forever numb to his surroundings, forever maintaining a cold, stony heart! Warwick values your intelligence and that you are supportive of him as a person and the things that he enjoys doing.”  Then he returned his gaze to between the two of them.  “The two of you have a chance today to start your own family. You complement each other. Where one is weak, the other is strong. When one of you falls, the other can help pick them up. Choose today to keep God as the center of your marriage and there will be nothing that you could encounter that would tear you apart.”  “These vows that you are about to commit are just words, but they cement forever your commitment to one another. Please, join hands and face one another as you recite the vows that’ve kept you up for so many nights crafting, perfecting, for one another.”  They did so without delay, Warwick extending either of his massive mitts to take in Qiyana’s as they met each other’s gaze.  They both started at once, then stopped to chuckle before allowing Qiyana to go first.

 “Before I met you, Warwick, my life was dedicated to my baby, Firefang, and the family I found in Akali, Yasuo, Senna, her husband Lucian and Ekko. I didn’t believe I had the time to fit in something as intimate and precious as what we have now. Never before did I think I’d ever find a man or woman who’d become the entirety of my universe like you have. So no matter what, until the day I breathe my last, I will never listen to the people questioning our relationship, people expecting us to be normal--I will stand by your side, loving you with every fiber of my being.”  Further disproving everyone who decried Warwick as a heartless beast of a man, tears began rolling freely from his eyes as Qiyana recited her painstaking vows. The runnels bled and diffused into the fur of his face. His hands tightened around hers as he cleared his throat to speak.

 “’ve... nev’r been good w’th expressin’ myself through werds, and I of’en prefer showin’ someone ‘ow I feel rather’en tellin’, ya ken? So... what more ken I say t’at I’ve not already shown? So very much, I foun’ out as I thought ‘bout it... Qiyana, when I call ya Rohi, nev’r told ya what it meant--it means, “My soul.” Cause ya ar’ jus’ t’at, yer my soul, my everythin’... I wouldn’ be the man I am now without ya, wouldn’ be doin’ my momma proud without ya--bein’ more ‘n more like my old man... Yer the sun t’at brightens my day ‘n chases the ov’rcast away; yer the muse of my ev’ry song now; yer the woman t’at saw somethin’ a wurth in the body of a monst’r who couldn’ care less if som’un died in front’uv ‘is eyes...  “Yer... everythin’--I cannit even think of a life without ya...”  Now it was the Empress of True Damage’s turn to start shedding tears--something a scarce few people have ever seen. They carved a path down her face, smearing aspects of her makeup and dripping off her chin onto the marble floor.  After a moment of quiet, save for the whining of Firefang at seeing his mommy cry, the priest continued on as he gestured towards the individual standing at the back, near the archway. This person was none other than Ekko as he carried the rings atop their pillow towards the bride and groom.  “Warwick and Qiyana have chosen to present rings to each other as a token of their promise before God and these witnesses. They are a visible sign of an inward bond which unites two hearts in endless love. Warwick and Qiyana, from this day forward, the two of you shall be one.”  Once there, Warwick took the much smaller of the golden bands as he held her left hand.  “Do you Warwick, give this ring to Qiyana, as a token of your love for her?”  “I do.”  “Qiyana, will you wear this ring as evidence of your love for Warwick?”  “I will~” He then slipped the ring onto her index finger.  Then Qiyana took the much larger band.  Because of the groom’s unique situation with his sheer size, a traditional ring couldn’t work comfortably. So a solution was devised revolving around a snapping mechanism that could secure the earring in a hole of his left ear that’d never healed.  “And do you Qiyana, give this ring to Warwick, as a token of your love for him?”  “I do~”  “Warwick, will you wear this ring as evidence of your love for Qiyana?”  “I will.” And so she snapped the ring into place in his ear.  Once his role was finished, Ekko placed the pillow under one arm and stepped to the side.  “Warwick and Qiyana have pledged their love for each other, and have expressed their commitment before God and before this gathering of friends and loved ones. They have given themselves completely to each other and declared it publicly by the giving and receiving of rings. Acting in the authority invested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit--what God has joined together let no man separate.  “Warwick, you may now kiss the bride, as it is with great joy that I present to you, Mr. and Mrs, Yun Tal.”

 And kiss they did.

For the identity ask: 1, 5, 6, 10, 11, 13, 15, 19, 22, 24, 29, 30 It's a good whole bunch lol, but I am genuinely curious about you, aelaer. So... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aww I'm touched, truly. 😊

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read/watch Lord of the Rings for sure. It's changed my life completely and I love the overall themes of the story, they really resonate with me. To understand my sense of humor, Mel Brooks films. He's a genius. The first two or three seasons of Community also really hit my sense of humor. There's a hundred other things I love but those cover some main parts.

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

What an odd question. I'd say both. I'm an American and Californian, but I'm also an artist and web designer. It's all of it.

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Christian, non-denominational. I am very well versed in the history of Christianity and its 100s of sects (thanks AP Euro!) which helped lead to that choice. It's been an interesting journey balancing scientific fact with personal faith as well (I love science, especially human biology).

Religion is something I'm willing to talk about with others but never anything I force on someone, nor something I usually discuss online as people can be quite cruel about other's beliefs. My two best friends are agnostic and atheist so we've had some great philosophical conversations about religion and our personal beliefs over the years.

10. do you have a creed?

The Golden Rule: the principle of treating others as you want to be treated. It's something I attempt to live by every day, especially as I get older.

11. describe your ideal day.

Ahhh it varies on my mood, if I feel like doing something that day. But the best days of my life usually encountered someone or something I've not met or seen before and having an absolutely beautiful experience from it. Meeting my little sister, meeting Richard Taylor, going to Tolkien's grave, all of those were ideal days. So on an ideal day something extraordinary happens. They are rare and wonderful.

13. inside or outdoors?

I like both! But most of my daily activities are indoor ones. But yeah I'll take door #3.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

The books that helped shape who I am I all read before high school. Had to think for the last ones.

Lord of the Rings (duh)

The Harry Potter series

Joke books. No joke (hah), but I had a hard time understanding jokes as a kid, so my mom bought me dozens of joke books of various sorts to help me sort it out as I was a major bookworm. I think that helped in the long run.

Don't laugh, but an illustrated children's dictionary. I read the whole damn thing when I was 8 or 9 and I think that immensely helped my vocabulary and interest in writing, which I really started creatively when I was 10.

I think I'll say Chronicles of Narnia. That was my introduction to fantasy, which eventually led to HP, then LOTR.

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Gryffindor. I am very heavy Ravenclaw to the point that quizzes that show a breakdown have it within a percentage or tied with Gryffindor. Hufflepuff is also very close, only a few points off. Slytherin is the only one that's nowhere near. So by that point it comes down to choice, and I believe my ideals lean more to Gryffindor. I'm basically Hermione xD (my best friends are both Slytherclaw so go figure).

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

Um, I'm going to assume basic bodily functions like eating and sleeping, and like talking or having a job shouldn't be included.

Reading. Whether it's work stuff or fun online stuff and the occasional physical book, reading is big.

Writing. Everything from blog posts or replies or fanfic or RP. So much writing.

Artsy stuff like drawing traditionally or digitally. Got big again this year after a long break.

Playing Pokemon Go xD

Hanging out with people for fun things.

24. have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

Hahaha my two coworkers and I have this all the time when it comes to certain clients or situations.

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

Requiem for a Tower (the 6 minute version) - an orchestral piece that's absolutely gorgeous and amazing and I keep thinking I want to make a music video with this and Stephen.

The Light by Disturbed - this rock band is so versatile and I love the hopeful note of this particular song

Paradise by Evanescence - I just adore this artist/band and here's one of my favorites

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. - Tolkien. Said by Gimli of all people in FOTR. But I love the message behind this quote and I really resonate with it.

Hey! Any advice for someone that wants to get into art as a hobby of sort? I like to draw sometimes, and I’d like to get better at it. I know a lot of the time advice boils down to simply practicing with the skill and gradually getting better, so if that’s what you’d recommend I’d understand completely. Anything else you could add to that concept would be welcomed, though! Hope you’re having a nice day.

hi nonnie! ur right—the best thing to do is practice, but it’s also important to know how and what to practice too.

tips for improving your art skills

study! study people, objects, and the environment around you. start noticing the way things are shaped, or how things look different from different angles. draw from life if you can, and draw from reference so you have a strong foundation.

learn the basics of art theory. there are lots of books and videos out there for you to learn from—take a gander at the elements of art and principles of design, and color theory! no need to be extremely studious, but even knowing these basic things can help you create works that are more complex and interesting. 

draw things you like. i like girls and flowers and swords. i draw lots of girls and flowers and swords. draw things even if they’re weird. in the end the work is for you, so what’s the point if you don’t enjoy it?

try different mediums. i can’t stress this enough. you don’t have to spend a lot of money to get your hands on some art supplies - there’s plenty of cheap student-grade brands for your needs. better yet, borrow a set from friends or family or school. charcoal, colored pencils, crayons, markers, acrylic, watercolor, digital art, you name it! this sets you free to do so much, and different mediums offer different things. together you learn techniques and have multiple perspectives of the process of an artwork.* 

set goals! i draw a lot of characters, so every now and then i’ll sit down and find one thing i need to get better at. for example, feet. i’ll watch some videos, look up references, draw feet, and then make my own poses and ideas to understand. 

don’t be discouraged. as creators, it is so, so, so easy to be discouraged. you don’t feel like you’re improving fast enough. the art cycle (aka, your perception vs your skill not lining up). you’re not making enough art. try not to think about those things in a negative way, because there is always growing to do. it’s really really hard to just… make things. make bad art. and then, like neil gaiman says, make good art. 

take on challenges. there are plenty of art challenges out there. inktober is a popular challenge every year. you can make prompt lists. you can join a weekly challenge. draw this in your style, popular on instagram. challenges push you out of your comfort zone and sometimes makes you draw in a way you hadn’t tried before. 

use your resources. the internet has made so much art and art resources accessible. to make good art you must consume good art. follow your favorite artists (and support them). tutorials. art book pdfs. videos. courses. in ten or fifteen minutes you can enrich your knowledge. 

art friends and supporters! art friends and supporters are the best. finding someone to draw with or finding someone who will happily look at your art will make you happy, motivated, and it’s just fun. i’ll be your friend!

i hope this is what you were looking for! there’s loads of things you can do to improve, but in the end… just make art. the world’s a better place with it. 

*i’m not encouraging you to go out and buy a ton of art supplies, bc sometimes you end up not liking them and then they sit in your drawers. but maybe a couple things you’re interested in!

come back and talk to me if you have any other questions. or if you wanna know artists. or if you want to hear me gush about, say, james turrell or gustav klimt or something. 

and share your art with me!

Lady and the Tramp

I do not know why the chapters of this story suddenly got so long! I’ve just been unable to stop writing lately. Stress writing, mostly, which I hate to do because sometimes, that can send the story off track. Of course, it can also ignite some of my greatest ideas. Unfortunately, I never know until after y’all tell me what my stress writing came through with. 😭 At any rate, I definitely will cover the conversation later. I didn’t have the place in this chapter to do so. Your reviews are keeping me sane.

Lady and the Tramp

After the sophomore summer, Charlotte knew that she wasn’t going to be able to make anymore trips home. The amount of lab work that she would be doing, the conferences and a lot of the other workshops and stuff she had to do would pull most of her time and being Jasper’s #1 Fan would take the rest. He had several competitions, matches, and games. She was skipping every boxing match, because she didn’t want him doing it in the first place and had even told him that he should go back to kite disc, but without him, the school’s team dissipated and he didn’t have the time to commit to the league again. 

Whenever it was Dodge-a-leen time, though, Charlotte was in the stands in brightly colored high waisted leggings with a Big Dog T-shirt, tied up in the back, and dog makeup on her face. She could do that deep voice barking that the fans often did, but she gave it a shot. With her tiny voice, it always stood out and everybody began calling her “Little Dog,” which Jasper loved, because that was his girl. She… had mixed feelings about it. She didn’t know that she cared for the nickname “Big Dog.” Henry used to call him that sometimes, but this was different. This nickname had come about from something that she still found embarrassing, though Jasper never had taken it as such. And also, she felt like Little Dog was a hop, skip and jump from being his bitch, and well… She guessed as long as nobody ever said THAT, she was fine. 

Besides, he still called her Chef’s Kiss and she now called him F Sized. She didn’t explain it to other people, as it started out as a little inside joke during one of her sexy study sessions with Jasper. He couldn’t get the answers right, therefore wasn’t allowed to touch the parts. That was how it worked. A was her backside, B was her chest, C was down there, and D - he was able to take her hand and put on his down there. But, if he wasn’t getting the answers correct, there wasn’t touching. She moved or stopped his hand if it was going to the wrong spot. He was struggling with the mock test and began grumbling about how he’d “cockblocked himself with stupidity.” 

While stupidity definitely was a turn off, Charlotte hadn’t viewed Jasper as stupid in a long time and she certainly hadn’t called him that ever since finding out that his stepdad did. Whenever he called himself that, she verbally redirected him. This particular study session, he said, “I have a humongous head with a stupid tiny brain in it.”

“You’re not stupid and if you were, your brain wouldn’t be smaller.”

“It is though. You know brains develop differently when kids have trauma, remember?”

“Yeah, but…” She fumbled over her words and managed to say, “I love your fun sized brain!” He loved that compliment. Fun Sized Brain was his new handle on Twitflash because of it.

“I appreciate that you said fun sized, because that is actually exactly what I think of your cute little body as!” She frowned. He smiled and explained, “Because you’re petite.”

“I got it.”

“You have a full sized heart, though!”

She smiled and shook her head, “See, I would have called yours friend sized, but I dig that full sized still fits the alliteration scheme.” 

He took her hand and placed it on himself, “Mm hmm, and what is this sized?”

“Fuck sized,” she said, without a pause and they both started laughing. “By the way, the answer is D, so I’ll count that as correct.”

“I don’t remember the question…” 

The only person she told the meaning of Jasper’s  F Sized nickname was Henry, and she’d said, “Because his brain is fun sized, his heart is friend sized and his manhood is fu…”

“Let me stop you there, Champ,” he said, laughing and shaking his head. “I’m glad that you two fixed everything. You’re not worried that it might go off track again?”

“No, we’ve done a lot of work together to make sure that we’re actually on the same page and have the same goals for us. PLUS, I got us affirmation journals. We decorated each other’s and we keep them, filling them up with greatness as we see it - like the good things we notice about each other, the positives that we see and the accomplishments made by one another. If we have negative times, one can invoke the affirmation journal and either read in it to reaffirm ourselves OR, if we’re that much in our feelings, the one of us that hurt the other will read affirmations to the hurt party. We haven’t had to use them… much, and we’ve both written a whole lot inside of them.”

“So, you two just carry around paper books and write every good thing in it that you can think about each other, so that if you argue, you’ll have the positives on record already to counter the bad feelings?”

“Bingo!”

“That’s… brilliant. Your idea?”

“Sort of. It was my idea to make it into this type of practice, but that was motivated by how Jasper got me not to break up with him. He let me see his life goals journal and I saw these really beautiful things that he’d written about me and it changed my heart. So, I thought of this idea for us to make a part of our love culture.”

“This is so stinkin’ cute. I can’t even bear it!” Henry said with heart eyes. “Ugh. I gotta find myself a lil’ nerd girl.”

“Find a lovable jock,” she advised.

“Jasper’s considered a jock, now?”

“I mean… he’s involved in the athletics program. Let me show you something, I think you’ll appreciate this..”  She dug around for a book then showed it to the video call she had open with Henry. It was a red leather bound book with various rocks attached to it, kinda like it was bedazzled, but not with sparkly rocks, and the title was scripted on in some of Charlotte’s nice scripting: Jasffirmation Journal. 

Henry gasped, “You did a fun pun!” “I did!” she cheered. 

“That’s a nice journal. What are all those rocks?”

“Those are various forms of jasper that I procured myself on an excavation assignment.”

“You’re freakin’ awesome, Char.”

“I definitely agree with that, but thank you!” 

“I gotta see what his looks like,” Henry said and texted Jasper to ask him to send him a pic of the affirmation journal he kept for Char. Within minutes, he received it. “OH MY GOD!” Henry said. Charlotte just smiled as Henry fawned over the realistic sketch of Charlotte with stars in her hair and coils that spelled: I’m Charstruck. “He did a fun pun too!”

“We worked with you and Ray for way too long,” she said. 

“You’re welcome,” he said, putting his phone aside. “Man, Jasper’s drawing is amazing. Is he taking art classes?”

“No. He’s a tattoo artist, though. Remember?”

“OH! He finished his apprenticeship. That’s cool. Will tattoos money put him through school?”

“One of his accounting major frat bros has helped him with his budget, which I used to do but hadn’t had the time to try to reorganize it, so this guy did. Jasper gets some funds from his fanbase, and he gets free stuff from local businesses and companies - like he’s got all this merch that he basically is a walking ad for and I keep telling him to see about talking to someone about sponsorship, but he’s just happy to get free stuff just for being popular and likable. I’m like, you can get paid to get free stuff for the same thing, Dude! So, he is doing just fine.”

“Does he have any tattoos? I’m not gonna get a tattoo from somebody who doesn’t have a tattoo, just on principle.”

“He’s got a few little ones,” she said.

“Really? What of?”

She smiled and sent Henry texts. She had photos of Jasper’s tats. The one on his arm, which was a blend of a lion and a bull with touching faces (because those were the animals of their zodiac signs and he’d designed the drawing), a Captain Man symbol on his left wrist, small enough to cover with a watch, if he had to for work or something, and the back shoulder that had Lady and the Tramp characters. “Dude… what?” Henry said, “Two of these are kind of big and why in the world did he get Lady and the Tramp tattooed on his body? Does Jasper realize that these are permanent?” “Yes, he does. He’s not an idiot. He got Lady and the Tramp because of the whole Big Dog, Little Dog thing. Lady and the Tramp is us.” She blushed.

“Awwww, well then it’s cute. I thought that he just liked the cartoon or something.” It’s shocking that he doesn’t have your name or something on him.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Does he and you just didn’t show me?”

“No. But… he’s mentioned wanting to get a tattoo of me over his heart. I don’t know how he can. His chest is an erogenous zone for him.”

“His… OK! That makes all those hickies on his chest make more sense now!”

“Those what?” Her eyes were wide. How the heck did Henry know that she’d put hickies on Jasper’s chest? They DID discuss their sex life!

“I saw hickies all over him one time, senior week and he wouldn’t say anything about it to me. And scratches on his back. Is his back an erogenous zone too?”

“No. I just used to have a real problem keeping control of myself when I was finishing. But, he actually likes that kind of stuff, so win-win, I guess. Why are we so casually discussing this?” she wondered.

“We’re friends and it’s normal.” She nodded. She hadn’t really thought to discuss stuff like this before outside of Jasper, but it came out surprisingly smoothly when talking to Henry. She was able to talk a little more about things with him. But, they wouldn’t be able to see each other in person for a while. Their schedules were simply too demanding. She hated it, but it was one of the things that she’d mentally prepared for whenever she first left home.

.

Women make up 56% of the college population. 25% of college seniors are virgins. 32.5% of college relationships are long distance. 1 in 4 college students have an STD. 63% of college women hope to meet their spouse in college. By senior year, 72% of college students have hooked up. ⅓ college students have been on fewer than 2 dates. Quick Facts: One of the top reasons college students break up is cheating. College students prefer short-term, casual relationships over long-term relationships because it allows them to focus on their academic and career goals. Most college couples break up around spring break, summer vacation, and right before winter break. 28 % of married college graduates attended the same school, but only 2% of North American marriages are comprised of high school sweethearts.

With numbers like that, it was really easy for me to believe that with Jasper’s personality and follow through that we couldn’t possibly be a part of that 2%. And even if we had been, what about those other stats? How much of it would be applicable. Wouldn’t one of us hook up with someone? Wouldn’t someone cheat? Wouldn’t we break up? For a first time relationship to be the last one that you’ll ever have, these possibilities become more or less likely dependent upon what stage in the relationship I was in. It was a fluctuating scale, to be honest. But, by junior year, I definitely felt like I was in a confident place.

Jasper makes me proud, all of the time, His thinking has become much more critical. His plans make more sense. His ability to manage his time has improved. He’s been calling himself a “Textbook Leo,” which has been annoying, because the traits that you didn’t see before, it’s like he tries to make sure that he has them now. That’s fine for some things. Silly for others. But, he’s very focused and he’s going to be a very accomplished man. I believe that with all of my heart. 

One of the last times that Henry was able to visit was whenever Charlotte first moved into her new apartment after Rush Week. Jasper helped her to pack, but got the pledges to move all of her things. The apartment that she found was closer to Jasper, in a nice sized townhouse style apartment within walking distance of the frat house, but of course, the guys had to go to another side of town to grab her things from her previous dormitory. Jasper’s little brother was responsible for overseeing - making sure nobody damaged or tried to steal anything, holding on to the keys of her dorm, and personally handing them to her after her things were cleared out and he’d locked up. Charlotte liked him. She was the reason that Jasper had selected him and he was closer to her than to Jasper, but only because it was hard to get close to Jasper, especially now that he believed himself to be a king.

Henry helped Charlotte to unpack, wishing that he still had that hypermotility. Dang, that would have made this a breeze. Charlotte had a lot of stuff and she was very particular with how she set things up. One area that he was intrigued by looked like a shrine of sorts, with a shelf in the middle, and she hung a photo of her and Jasper above it. “What is that?” 

“My gift center,” she said, setting things there from a box marked Gifts From Jasper. “I keep stuff that Jasper gives me in an exposed and visible area. It helps the room to have a good attitude.” He made a confused face, but didn’t want to even ask. “I can feel the energy in these gifts, because I know the motivations and the emotions behind them,” she explained.

“You becoming all metaphysical on me?”

“Not all, but I definitely feel like… energy is something that can be manipulated by certain objects and intentions. Like, you ever meet someone and you can just feel that something is off about them? That’s how I was with Casper and I was absolutely correct about her, even though for a whole year she was nothing but pleasant to me, I knew that there was some negative vibrations there.”

“You do like tarot cards and stuff?” He asked.

“No. I don’t know enough about that area of spirituality and I honestly don’t feel like committing the time to learn.”

“Dang. I was gonna ask you to do a reading for me,” Henry joked.

“We can go to one. There’s a girl in the BSU that does them. I feel like she’s the real deal. She grew up in Louisiana in this matriarchal witch family. Though… I don’t know if witch is the right word. I can’t remember what she said. Jasper might, though. He’s fascinated by that stuff. They have an entire segment on the radio show for African spirituality and diaspora practices.��

“I… we should get a reading, just as a gag.”

“You don’t do it as a gag!” She complained, shaking her head. 

“Okay, we can do it for real, then.”

“Well, I’ll have to see if she’s available. She has an online business, where she prepares spells and herbal roots and oils and jewelry and stuff. I’ll check her prices for the readings.” She grabbed her phone and Henry kept unpacking. They were bringing the empty, broken down boxes to the recycling bin whenever Jasper’s truck pulled up. They heard him before they saw him. The truck was always so loud, but it was old and cheap, so that was why he had it. He didn’t want to spend a lot of money on something that he only planned on driving for now. Charlotte began buying her reliable but affordable car in high school. She made regular payments on it to try to help build her credit and by the time she was ready to leave for college, it was paid off. It was a metallic gold hatchback and had horse decals on it. Jasper’s big orange truck had all kinds of bumper stickers and window stickers that he’d peppered it with. Henry turned up his nose, “Why is it orange?”

“That was the cheapest thing that he could find when he was looking, and he loves it. He says that he’s always gonna have orange vehicles, now.”

“WHY?”

“Probab;y because he’s an attention whore,” she said. 

Jasper had a pretty booming speaker system in the truck and was blasting music, because that helped him not to hear the troubling sounds that the truck made. He turned off the car and got out with a little box, “Hey, Henry!” he said and waved at him. “Chef’s Kiss…” He slid the box to Henry and wrapped his arms around Charlotte. “Did New Henry give you your keys?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Did who?” Henry asked.

“His little brother,” Charlotte said.

“His name is Henry too?” Henry asked.

“No,” Charlotte said, but left it at that and asked, “What’s that?”

“A homewarming present,” Jasper said and took the box back. It made tiny whimper sounds and she noticed it had holes in it. 

“Housewarming, and Jasper, is that a living creature?”

“You don’t have a house. You have an apartment, and no..” he opened the box and said, “It’s TWO living creatures!” She looked to see two very adorable puppies with collars and tags… “Lady and the Tramp!” 

“Wow. All I got you was a cake.”

“I prefer cake,” she said, then to Jasper, “Jasper, you cannot just give people responsibilities as a housewarming gift! I don’t have time to raise two dogs!”

“I’ll be here like everyday. All you’ll need to do is be happy to see them when you get home.” She bit her thumbnail and stared at him, displeased. That was what that face was. He knew that much. He handed the puppy box to Henry again, pulled out his life goals journal, unlocked it and made an X on the list, which made Charlotte smile, in spite of herself. “I am willing to take on all of the responsibilities parts of them. I’ll make sure they’re fed and clean and…”

“You need to make sure that they know how to use the bathroom before they are moving in here, Dude. I’m not cleaning up dog poo from any surface of my new apartment.”

“That’s fair,” he said. Henry was already petting the boxed puppies and taking photos when Jasper reached for the box. “I’m gonna let them run around in the back of the truck while I’m here. That’s where I got the dog house, anyway.”

“The…” Charlotte looked and saw the doghouse that she didn’t know where the heck he thought that he was putting in her apartment. She turned around and went into the apartment, leaving both dudes and both dogs outside.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell her that they’re both girls because I couldn’t find a male Schnauzer for Tramp. I don’t think she’ll like me naming a girl Tramp, but it’s symbolic.”

“I don’t think that Charlotte likes animals,” Henry said, climbing into the back of Jasper’s truck. “And, she seems more like a cat person, right?”

“She just doesn’t have the time to raise them, but she’s gonna love Lady and the Tramp, once they’re ready to be civilized.”

“She didn’t love Katelyn. She barely acknowledged that she was alive and Katelyn was effing adorable.”

“She took care of Katelyn all of the time! You just weren’t there to see it,” Jasper fussed.

“Why are you getting pissed?”

“I’m not. I’m just irritated that you’re acting like you still know her better than I do.”

“That’s not what I’m… I’m sorry. How are you doing? What season is it for your sports?”

“Wrestling season is October until March. Boxing events usually begin in March. I have Dodge-a-leen practices all year, but tournaments are late spring, usually. Thinking about reviving kite disc for good on campus and just having it be among frats and stuff. I miss it, but I had to give it up. I’d give up anything for Charlotte.”

“Is… that why you felt like you had to give me up?” Henry asked. Jasper gave him a look. “I just felt like we could all still be friends. Whenever you left for college, you were really on this ‘of course we’ll still be friends’ thing, but we haven’t talked out what happened.”

“What’s there to talk out? I apologized and you said, NBD.”

“I said NBD because you apologized, but that doesn’t mean it was resolved. Especially because you told me that I never reached out to you, then when I did, you weren’t available,”

“So, I was supposed to wait for you to decide that you had some need for me? I have things to do, too. Maybe I’m not saving Swellview, but I’m not sitting around waiting to mean something to you, either.”

Henry set The Tramp down and clasped his hands together, “I’m still the same dude who was willing to give up Kid Danger for you. I’m still the same person who took on a full shift at Cactus Con so you could be on a date! I’m still…”

“You’re still the dude who was having wet dreams about my girlfriend right before we got together and acted like I was being an asshole for not wanting you to sleep in the same bed anymore!”

“Okay. Okay. Well, I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable…” 

“Being friends means respecting boundaries. This is the woman that I plan to marry. Your friendship makes me uncomfortable, but that’s not why you and me fell out. You and me fell out because whenever I expressed to you how I felt about it, you talked to me like I was a dumbass, and you accused me of mistreating Charlotte!”

“You were mistreating Charlotte!”

“That wasn’t the way to say it! When I’m trying to tell you what I don’t like or don’t want to happen and you respond that way, it makes me feel like not only did you not care about my boundaries, but you used her pain to try to attack me because you didn’t like me setting those boundaries! And… That’s just fucked up to do to both of us, yet I’m the only person who apologized for my behavior that night. I’ve been apologizing to people for standing up for myself for too long. I know myself better and I deserved better.”

Henry nodded his head and collected Lady to pet her and help him feel better. “That is a lot to process. That makes sense. I think you’re right and I never realized any of that before now, because we didn’t talk about it. But, no matter what kind of dreams I had about Charlotte years ago, mind you… I’d never try to do anything with her and even if I had, she’d shoot me down and probably clobber me. She’s been dickmatized by you since Day 1.”

“I don’t like…”

“I mean, she’s been enamoured with you. Most of the time we talk, it’s about your relationship and how much she loves you. I envy that and I would love to have that with someone, but that someone would never even cross my mind to be Charlotte. And I will sleep in my van before I make you feel that uncomfortable again, or before I won’t hear you out when you’re telling me about boundaries, or before I go without just kickin’ it with my bro for all this time. I’ve got an empty spot where you’re supposed to be, in here, Dude.” He pointed all of his fingers to his heart.

Jasper smiled and said, “You know how she got into her whole energy/vibrations thing? She was researching what Jasper meant, because she had this idea to gift me some Jasper stones and she wanted to know more about them. So, she read somewhere that Jasper is the “Supreme Nurturer,” a stone of grounding and stability, providing comfort and security, strength and healing. Its presence balances the aura to a level of wholeness and peace, and acts as a reminder that one is not here on the physical plane simply for oneself, but to bring joy and substance to others… and she said, “Babe… That is SO you!” And I cried and I started looking for the perfect ring… and she started looking into stones and energy and all that stuff.”

“She’s right, though, That is so you. Why do you think I miss you so much?”

“I missed you too.. I just couldn’t let go of my pride until you seemed like you really cared about what I was trying to tell you that I cared about.” They smiled at each other, then hugged it out.

“So… Did you find it? The perfect ring?”

“No. I think I may have to have it made.”

“Does she know that you’re looking?”

“I haven’t confirmed anything, but she’s the smartest person I know, so maybe.”

“Well, I won’t say anything, but damn it, I’d better be included on however it happens… Unless it's a private just you and her typed thing.”

“I’m trying to find the perfect way too…” Jasper admitted. “When you’ve been doing great things for somebody for a while, it’s hard to outdo yourself.”

“Yeah, the stuff that she brags on you about, I honestly don’t know how you can possibly top them, but you keep doing so, so…” Henry shrugged and sniffed around, “What is…”

“LADY!” Jasper said and Henry looked down at the puppy who peed on him. 

“That’s awesome…” he said, sarcastically.

.

It was good for Jasper to have Henry back, The dynamics of their friendship had definitely changed, as Jasper was less determined to lay himself down for Henry, but he still loved him and having him and Charlotte around when it was time to meet his dad was encouraging. It was a 4 hour drive, so Charlotte drove the way to get to Henry and then Henry drove the rest of the way to Mr. Dunlop’s place. 

Whenever they pulled into the address that had been given to Jasper online, the first thing that Jasper did was take the dogs to make waste. Henry and Charlotte were going to take them for a walk while he met up with his dad and not be too far away, in case he had to call on them. 

Charlotte was carrying Lady because, “She gets excited and runs off too much,” but, they both had leashes, so Henry was confused, but didn’t bother. 

Charlotte kept looking at the house, no matter how far they got from it and checking her phone. Henry realized that she probably was in protective mode. Whenever she thought her Jasper was in trouble, she was one feisty little woman. “Hey! Remember that time that Ray punched Jasper out and you came in and on sight, beat him up with your backpack?” She gave him a blank stare, unsure of why he was bringing that up. He smiled awkwardly. “That was funny to me… Albeit, terrifying.” He shut up.

“Trample, where you goin,’ Sis?” Charlotte said and Tramp turned around and came rushing back to her. “Here,” He said, handing Lady off to Henry. 

“Last time I held her, she peed on me.”

“Dude, that was months ago.” Charlotte said, dismissively and picked up Tramp. 

“They can walk and we have leashes, why do you keep holding them?” He asked.

“The musty lady in the apartments let her dogs free run beside her and one of them got hit by the public bus!” Henry gasped in horror and cuddled Lady close to himself. “Yeah. That public bus near the apartments is scary. I don’t want them to get used to just running around, unless I live somewhere with an open area and minimal vehicles. A college town is kind busy for that.”

He nodded, “Okay, okay… But… We’re not in town right now and I haven’t seen any vehicles since we got here. Let’s just let them use these for now and if something happens, we pick them back up.” She nodded and let him put the leashes on the girls and walk them. “Are you worried about Jasper, Dude?” Whenever she was worried, she was a little more high strung. She nodded. “His dad seems like he wanted to meet him. I think it’s probably going well.”

“Yeah, but… Jasper just got to where he’s able to balance his issues out with his current situation and I just don’t want anybody shaking him up and throwing him off of his center.”

“That’s not gonna happen as long as he has you. From how I understand it, you’re his center.” She took a deep breath and looked at the house again. “Let’s go back and see if we can check on him,” Henry suggested. 

A dark skinned woman with a huge afro, in draping, colorful clothes and a lot of jewelry opened the door and smiled at them. Charlotte and Henry glanced at their car in the driveway, then the house, then the woman. Charlotte asked, “Is… Is Jasper Dunlop here?”

“Yeah, he’s here.” She said and opened up to let them inside. “They’re in the meditation room. Mind taking off your shoes? Also, we’ll bring the dogs out back. It’s fenced in and covered. Hawks won’t get to them.”

“Hawks???” Charlotte shrieked. 

“Hawks WON’T get to them,” Henry repeated. “Thank you,” he said. “She’s kind of an anxiety mom.”

The Black woman said, “Well, I can make you some relaxation tea. It was helpful for Jasper. Passionflower with a little lavender and chamomile. You’ll calm down and also sleep like a baby tonight.”

“I… Are you a witch?” Charlotte asked.

“You can say that. I’m a healer, a practitioner of Hoodoo herbalism, tribal holistic care and divination.”

“Oh! Like your friend from Louisiana,” Henry said to Charlotte.

“They have a deep history with spirituality and healing in Louisiana, but I’m from Oklahoma. Descendant of African slaves and Native American slave owners, if you can believe it.While we were recently expelled from tribes as members, you can’t illegalize blood, therefore the magic of all of my ancestors is within me,” the woman said, nodding her head as she released the dogs from their leashes and helped them through a doggie door. “I began to seek out the meanings of my dreams and found a mambo who connected me to my roots. I began practicing, only first to see if I really had a gift, then years later, as a believer. It’s how I met Jack Leigh. He wanted help from some things and a friend told him about me. But, then he saw me and forgot what he wanted help with and asked me on a date, instead.” She laughed.

“I can see why,” Henry said. 

Charlotte mumbled, “I can see why Jasper’s mom hates me.”

The woman shook her head, “Is there anybody that woman doesn’t hate?”

“Herself?” Henry tried to guess.

“I wish that were true. That’s where she has to begin her healing and until she does, none of her intentions will be corrected.”

“Are you Jack Leigh’s wife?” Henry wondered.

“I am so sorry! I never introduced myself. Adanna Blackfoot.” She shook both their hands and led them to a sink in the little side area of the kitchen that looked out into the backyard. Charlotte could see the doggie enclosure. There were all kinds of plants and flowers growing on the fence surrounding them. The three of them washed their hands and talked a little while. Charlotte was fascinated with Jasper’s stepmom, though she said she didn’t feel that was a fair title, because she only knew Jasper from afar and word of mouth. But, Charlotte still wished THIS was the woman who’d raised her man. He’d be so much more in love with himself, and not just faking it. They eventually made it to the meditation room and Jasper was happy to see them. “Sorry, was I taking too long?”

Charlotte met him with a hug and a kiss, “I was worried about you, but Adanna eased my mind.”

“She and Uncle Rox would be great friends,” Jasper said.

“Uncle Rocks?” Jack Leigh repeated, confused, because Jasper didn’t have any uncles by that name.

“My uncle Roscoe,” Charlotte said.

“Roscoe Bolton?” Jack Leigh asked. From their faces, he could tell that was who they meant. “Wait a minute… You mean to tell me that your fiance is The Bolt’s niece?”

“Uncle Rox just became infinitely cooler because he is known as The Bolt. Say more, right now!” Jasper said, excitedly. Charlotte was more on the we all just glazed by that F word, huh? 

“Hell, The Bolt introduced me and Adanna! What’s he up to? I haven’t heard from that fool in years.”

“Still a fool,” Charlotte and Henry said, but Jasper had said, “He’s the best!” Charlotte looked at Henry and said softly, “So… did you hear him say…”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Okay. Tell me something,” she said and laughed a little. Fiancee? Was that how Jasper had described her? Because… YEAH - they most definitely were most likely gonna get married. She certainly hoped so, but they hadn’t discussed it in a solid form yet. It was more like how kids discussed graduation… an event that you look forward to and you know it’s happening and even have certain elements and dreams about it that you must include. But, not knowing what college you’d attend, what your GPA will be, what major you would choose. It was like, sure marriage was a real possibility, but it wasn’t something he’d asked her to do or something she had started preparing for - things that she associated with being a fiancee… Everybody was looking at her and she rewinded her mind a little to try to recall what they’d said in the background while she was in her thoughts. Think he’d mind if I got his contact info? “Uh, no. I’ll give him a call and verify, though…”

“Small world,” Henry said.

“It’s a huge world, but everything is definitely connected,” Adanna said, pouring the new brew of tea for the additional guests.

.

At some point, after a lot of laughter and stuff, Henry said, “Hey… Adanna, do you do like readings?”

“Not professionally,” she said. “I’ve limited it to friends and family, loved ones, for personal reasons.”

“Oh,” he said, sadly. “Char and I have been trying to make an appointment with her friend, but our schedules never line up with her available spots.”

“Well, for the two of you, of course, I would.” She said and smiled, getting up to retrieve her cards. Charlotte was staring at Jasper, still thinking about the F word and wondering what happened before they made it in. He’d definitely been crying at some point. He had his ‘crying bags’ under his eyes. He was in good spirits now, but she wanted to know what went on when she wasn’t there to protect and comfort him. He looked back at her and made a confused face. He was wondering what she was thinking about. She mouthed ‘I love you,’ to him and watched the smile on his face beam. “I’m so lucky,” he said out loud. Jack Leigh smiled at the two of them. Beautiful couple. Wonderful boy. He’d really messed up missing out on shaping him.

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perhaps it's just a limited view of it, but it really seems like the mindset of amateur self taught artists has changed a lot with the rise of the youtube drawing channel. instead of handing about ad hoc techniques, there's grown a huge emphasis on certain technical skills - 'learn your fundamentals' has become almost a religious mantra, and nowadays you'll see a lot of figure breakdowns and discussion often revolves around invocations of principle - shape design, form, perspective etc. - and exhortations to draw more.

in this current aspiring artist subculture, art seems to be increasingly viewed almost as a levelling tree in an rpg. you master certain skills, in some sort of notional order. some people endlessly comb through drawing videos and beg for permission to draw in the perfect proper way. some earnestly post their weekly progress and apologise for not drawing enough. there seems to be a very broad need for validation.

is this a good or bad thing? i can't deny wanting to achieve certain technical aesthetic effects and making use of all these materials in the hope of drawing like certain artists i admire, and there's no question that certain kinds of work in the capitalist art industries (concept art, anime genga, etc) demand certain skills, but seeing this egregore possessing so many young artists makes me worried. what awaits at the end, a job at ubisoft?

there is much less focus on cultivating the expressive and personal aspects of art, or learning a vocabulary to talk about them, even though that is the thing that forms your connection with an artist far more than their level of technical skill. there is more to drawing than trying to catch up to kim jung gi on the great scoreboard of art mastery. and yet, if you told me to give up trying to learn all these skills and just be happy with what i can do now, i don't think i could. there is a certain sense that learning all these skills is necessary to reach certain emotional aesthetic effects.

steven zapata's solution to this conceptual dilemma is to suggest that each artist must develop their own personal strong aesthetic opinions, essentially defining the game they're trying to play, and that is where the struggle for skill plays out rather than one universal pyramid. i think i agree with this. and yet, when i stumble on an artist fighting to climb the same stupid mountain, like this guy who drew every day for six months and never saw his friends and still goes on about how he needs to tackle harder things and learn anatomy better and just try harder, all in the hopes of animating for The Line in London in a couple of years, i have a sense of a kindred spirit - another mad fool perhaps. when someone asks me for drawing advice i can whip out 20 drawing channels and an explanation of all the technical vocab bc it's a special interest and i like to be knowledgeable. watch, all these doubts go away and i take your hand and lead you into the dragon's mouth...

the whole 'sigma grindset' meme is a joke of course, but the fact it gained currency feels like it's reflecting some kind of generational anxiety. so i end up wondering - what currents are carrying me this time? the rise of the online tutorial, the sakuga fandom, deviantart declining and artstation rising, the notion of 'grind', techbro culture - i can only see some of its edges and tendrils, but it feels like something has grown here. is it a cultural echo/side effect of a period of rampant unemployment and precariousness where manufacturing has mostly been exported abroad and jobs in the creative industries seem to be the only promise of both security and fulfilment? essentially the same as the monster that ruled in academia? ...yeah that's probably just it huh.

RWBY - Volume 6, Chapter 2 Production Analysis

Vol 6, Ch 1 Production Analysis

It’s very safe to say that between the last production analysis post and every other response and feedback from the fan base in every corner of the internet, the volume 6 RWBY premiere started on an overwhelmingly high note. A lot of notes and criticisms (some more helpful than others) were taken to heart by Kerry Shawcross, Miles Luna and the rest of the production staff and to great effect through a combination of action scenes and comedic character acting. For the chapter that follows, aspects of the production have been applied to arguably just as great of a effect but for different reasons due to the admittedly heavy story beats provided. Let’s dive into all of that.

We can start with one part of Cinder’s scene in the beginning: effects related to water and rain. The first thing to note is the sheen on Cinder’s hair. It’s very fascinating because of how unclear it is as to whether this has anything to do with a new simulation in some plug-in tool or if it’s a small effect done in post-production or something else done together. Could it be something similar to how the process for this bit in episode 7 of season 1 of RWBY Chibi was done or something different is honestly hard to say.

The other effect to touch on is rain. Whether or not this is due to technical limitations or creative choices (or lack thereof), rainy weather started to occasionally be in the show since volume 4 when CRWBY primarily used the Autodesk Maya software as their animation tool. Since then, interactions between the character and environment models and rain have varied slightly such as ripples being faintly seen on raindrops and footsteps. However, this chapter made rain felt more “defined” so-to-speak. Water ripples are more visible and small splashes have appeared for the first time. Unlike the sheen on Cinder’s hair, these instances can more safely be presumed as having been done by the VFX team or Compositing department. What pops-to-mind about all of this is something mentioned in the previous production analysis post, that being the new 2-D FX artist position. When using the term “defined” to describe the rain effects, what this is referring to is how flat they look. This is similar to the smoke and wind effects already seen in the show in latter volumes which were presented specifically to help RWBY further resemble various anime, the medium RWBY is heavily-inspired by:

“The hardest parts were figuring out what kind of effect we wanted. We had a wind effect which drawing air can be a little hard to figure out. I spent a lot of time watching anime and looking at different ways in which people had drawn air and trying to come up with something that would resemble 2-D but have a very 3-D feel to it. We also had some fireballs that had to be developed from scratch that required not only coming up with the base of it, but also with some anime-esque flares so that was kind of neat to explore.”

- Jeff Yohn, VFX Artist, CRWBY Behind the Episode Season 1 - Anima Skies Fight.

It’s possible that Myke Chapman, as the 2-D FX Artist may have had something to do with this in particular. The push to make RWBY feel like an anime but in 3-D in as many appropriate ways as possible is definitely an admirable goal. There was a small concern regarding the possibility of the same visual effects, 2-D or 3-D, becoming reused a bit too frequently since not all effects in anime look the same and that’s largely to do with the animator in charge of cuts. However, this concern has been covered but more on that later.

Next is the setting everyone loves, the Mistral house. In all seriousness, It’s no secret that most of the fandom have expressed frustrations with this setting to some degree, even Nora made a tongue-in-cheek comment about it. But this scene is at least worth comparing to previous ones in the same setting throughout volume 5. The reason has to do with the character models. One big change made to volume 6′s overall aesthetic was the choice of overall lighting, being brighter compared to volume 5′s softer, warmer look. But a smaller change made were the inclusion of more line art and shading on certain physical features of most characters. When comparing between the same characters in the same setting, certain characters like Jaune and Qrow will have lines to form the collarbone unlike the last couple of volumes while other characters like Yang and Oscar/Ozpin have shading the present the folds in parts on their tops not previously seen. Even Weiss when looking back at the previous chapter will have a bit of shading on the rib cage area of her clothing to hell sell how tight they are.

This is not the first time this sort of thing has been done in RWBY as this was done to more of a much greater degree in volumes 2 & 3 when Poser was the primary animation software. The differences being that now there’s likely more of a simulation applied for the shading as oppose to being directly painted on to the models in earlier volumes. As a result, the line art for the physical features are applied more subtly. That’s the key word here, “subtly”. They are used just enough to define physical traits but not so much so that they risk coming off as distracting. When line work on characters were more heavily applied in volumes 2 & 3, the results varied. Sometimes they worked out okay while other times the line work were weird and confusing regarding how the bone and muscle structure even worked. To get a good idea of how much line work, shading, and overall form can make a difference in character design, 2-D or 3-D, Anime Ajay made a comparison of the character designs of Broly for the Dragon Ball Super film and in various Dragon Ball projects in latter years. I can only imagine how much of a broken record I am being for using Anime Ajay’s videos as go-to means of illustrating some points, but his insight on anime production and design and animation principles are worth paying mind to whether one cares for the Dragon Ball franchise or not.

Next are a couple of other things within the house scene, first being the relic. Many fans questioned and speculated why the artifact changed size from scene-to-scene and it’s through the shot of Ozpin how this happens. The seamless size adjustment is not at all bad, but the way handle grew bigger on Ozpin’s hand made it a bit too seamless. Perhaps if one close-up shot of the handle was shown first to indicate how Ozpin needed to adjust the way he held on to the relic and then followed with the original medium shot of the relic as a whole would have helped the size change would’ve been a bit better. But this is all just a nitpick. The other thing to touch on in the scene is Nora’s brief manic moment. There’s not a whole lot to say on it since such scenes have been done before with Nora’s character to great effect, but this probably most crazed version seen yet. The timing on this one is much more rapid than in previous instances with split-second cutting between characters, spontaneous reactions, smears in the animation, the one extreme close-up shot of Nora’s eyes and the tea kettle sound effect just cranks up the comedic nature. What probably sells it though is how Ren and Ozpin’s calm and easy-going personalities serve as the perfect juxtaposition to help immediately bring down high energy. I have no idea who animated the scene and I can’t say much about the editing besides the fact that Connor Pickens is still the lead editor despite also being a co-director. But whatever the case behind-the-scenes, the humor was perfect here.

With all of that said, here comes one of the biggest highlights of the episode in terms of breaking down the presentation and speculating the production. What most fans talked about this episode were the animation and Jinn’s design more than anything else. Both cases are very much worth paying mind to. The snowy scene where everyone’s hair and clothes flowed strongly in response to the wind and much of the character acting was top-notch, especially since Asha Bishi was confirmed to have animated it (her knack for creating expression through animal ears and other traits I’ve mentioned before here). And Jinn’s design is definitely otherworldly in terms of how she’s animated and the particle effects done on her model. However, what made this episode were the storyboards.

There are many resources about the production of RWBY throughout the volumes. In terms of learning about the various animators, the ending credits in each volume are a great starting point and from there, blu-ray audio commentary tracks, animator demo reels, tweets, convention panels and production diary videos are all constructive ways to familiarize oneself with the animation styles. It’s the main reason I managed to make the Animators Spotlight series of post in the first place. However, finding the same quantity information from other departments is scarce in comparison and thus a more challenging task. It’s one thing to at least learn the general process behind how a stage in the show’s production is approached in a given volume. But it’s a whole other thing entirely to pinpoint who exactly is responsible for a certain trick in the visual effects or an intricate-looking prop in an environment design. The same problem can especially apply to the storyboards and camera layouts since both departments share some of the same people but one person working on the boards in a scene may not necessarily also be doing the layouts in that same scene. It’s also hard to indicate when one the task of boards change from one person to another in a given chapter. Unlike storyboard artists in anime which are usually assigned to one person per episode, making it easier to indicate the choices in visual direction and cinematography, the number of artists assigned to board an episode of RWBY have varied between 2-6 people. Without much evidence to indicate who exactly did which parts of the storyboards, it can be near impossible to tell the visual languages different artists have brought into the show.

There is one exception however. One storyboard and camera layout artist that has been around in RWBY’s production since volume 3 contributed a great quantity to the show and there’s much evidence out there to suggest it. That person is Rachel Doda, whose name has been referred to in previous posts. Through most of the same sources mentioned earlier to learn about which cuts different animators have done, there is quite a bit of confirmation as to which scenes she provided storyboards or camera layouts for. The aftermath of Shion village, Qrow and Raven’s talk at the tavern at Higanbana, Weiss in her father’s office, Yang confronting the bandits, the entire Weiss character short, the volume 4 opening, Tyrian’s breakdown moment and Oscar vs Leo, all to name a few have been confirmed to be handled by her through either storyboards or camera layouts. Between these scenes and the patterns seen in them, it’s possible that she did the boards and/or layout for the snow scene in this chapter of volume 6.

Certain visual techniques can be seen between these examples alone, one of which were actually confirmed from Rachel’s mouth herself via episode 11 of RWBY Rewind for volume 5:

“I work as a story and layout artist and in particular for this episode, I was a final camera artist. So what you’re seeing right now is the animatic with storyboards done by Kevin Harger of this little moment that happens in the episode where Oscar goes up against Leo. Then after it goes into animatic, it goes into pre-layout and animation and what was cool about this moment was this was a moment where we had to be collaborative with the animator and with camera.

I got the animator stuff (animator was John Yang) and I looked at it and compared it to the boards and I thought, “this is the first time I believe that we get to see Oscar use Ozpin’s cane in combat!” So for me, I was like, “let’s show off the cane as much as we can.” I’m a sucker for stuff that comes up into the foreground a lot and that shot where he raises it (the cane) right into the foreground, I like really resonated with that because to me that was like, “oh, it’s like fencing!” Or in particular, like epee. I want that to be a huge focus so, depending on where the camera goes, it’s like “hey, I want to lead your eye from one point to the other.”

I grew up with anime a lot when I was a kid, so seeing that stuff come to life is amazing.”

Having the viewer’s eye be drawn to a certain object closer to the camera can be seen in various shots she did boards or layouts for. Sometimes it’s to make the shot dynamic while other times is to provide a sense of staging or blocking. Certain other techniques that have been seen in her boards are rotation shots and panning shots that put a character in the background in focus. There are also long shots where the camera pans from a much farther distance to indicate the different kinds of relationships between characters or who is more dominant and submissive respectively or which characters are otherwise the focus of the scene.

Again, the long-winded point behind studying Rachel Doda’s approaches within her line of work in particular is to help compare to the snow scene with the main cast this chapter. It’s all to be on the same page in order to speculate how some of the shots may have come from her. Instances such as Ruby looking at the relic in the foreground or this shot where it aptly shows how Ozpin is pressured to defend himself against the members of Team RWBY through the use of height in the terrain can be compared to some of her other faraway panning shots. Of course it follows with a more high angle shot where Yang, Weiss and Blake are framed to surround Ozpin as he further attempts to defend himself. Then there’s one instance where the camera pans to showing Ruby possessing the relic and it follows with a clever shot of Ozpin’s hand being lowered after his arguments were questioned. Next is Oscar’s hand towards the camera as he tries to restrain Ozpin which is similar to the types of foreground-focused shots quoted from Rachel that she has done before. And then there are the moments of hair and clothing flowing in the wind for dramatic effect. In the first instance where Ozpin talked about Leo, the comparison can be made to Qrow telling Raven why it’s important to be told of the Spring Maiden’s whereabouts as a visually-timed period to their sentences. Now there is a strong possibility that all of this speculation could be way off and Kevin Harger, Cassidy Stone, or Veronica Valencia could have done the boards for this snow scene or even the next one. Whatever the case, hopefully, this will at the very least further entice food-for-thought and discussions regarding the various techniques in visual direction and who may be responsible for what.

Moving on, this would be a good time to talk about something rarely ever mentioned in any of these RWBY production posts before: voice acting. By now, many fans have been made aware of the fact that more and more of the ensemble cast in the show have been voiced by talent who spent their careers dubbing anime in Dallas or Houston Texas via titles from Funimation or Sentai Filmworks. What not as many people may be aware of though is how remarkable for casting choices like this to still happen given the current anime dubbing climate. Since the success of Space Dandy on the Toonami programming block on Adult Swim, Funimation started doing “broadcast dubs” or now called “simuldubs.” This practice is a similar but more time crunch approach to simulcasts where the episodes are provided from whatever licensing companies in Japan to premiere an anime dubbed within either a few weeks or some cases like My Hero Academia and Re:Tokyo Ghoul, the same day. This same practice recently started earlier in 2018 with Sentai Filmworks and HiDive under the name “dubcasts”. Whatever the name, it has made for stressful scheduling on voice directors, script writers, voice actors, and engineers and has led to sometimes cases of voice actors initially cast to not being able to do a part due to being sick or other matters.

In the case of My Hero Academia’s voice director and the voice of Momo Yayorozu, Colleen Clinkenbeard, not only is the scheduling especially tight, but when she started voice casting and dubbing the movie in July, she had to give the responsibility of dubbing the rest of season 3 to Clifford Chapin, the voice of Bakugo and Shay D. Mann from RWBY, to name a couple of his roles. Similarly, another voice actress named Luci Christian, who voices Ochako Uraraka from My Hero Academia, also does quite a bit of voice acting between Funimation and Sentai Filmworks and is also involved in various simuldubs and dubcasts. So for both of them to manage to record the voices of Jinn and Little Miss Malachite respectively in this chapter is astonishing to say the least. Casting of anime dub voice actors in the show started since volume 3 and went full force in volume 4 when Marissa Lenti of Sound Cadence studios started providing additional casting. And it has definitely brought the attention of those who have played a part such as Cherami Leigh as Ilia Amitola and those who want to play a part like Cristina Vee. But back in 2016, same-day simuldubs had not yet been done since Space Dandy and only a lot more shows have gotten that close scheduling treatment since then.

Lastly, there’s the scene that ends the episode to breakdown. More striking shots of the stance and side between characters were definitely well-framed in this last segment. But this is also a good time to revisit the matter of visual effects and compositing. The smoke effect when the tower and props appeared in a white void helped address the minor concern brought up earlier about whether the VFX team would resort to using the same kind of look for certain effects. Where smoke has generally been presented to be more cel-shaded in latter volumes, here the smoke emitted from Jinn is a lot more wispy and grainy. This is to help further indicate how the overall post-production process requires just as much creative input as it does technical. And then there’s Salem herself. Her surprise reveal definitely left an impact on viewers but it also served as an example of a callback to the shot that revealed her current design. One example is more stoic and menacing while the other is more innocent and melancholic. This is far from the first visual callback in the show as Cinder stabbing Weiss in chapter 11 of volume 5 was another instance as explained by Rachel Doda in the same RWBY Rewind episode quoted earlier:

“So for storyboards, what we’ll do is we’ll go in and talk with the director and we’ll see what their vision is and what they want, we’ll give them options, we’ll give them thumbnails. Sometimes we’re given enough freedom where we’re like, “oh we can just do whatever we want and then come back to the director”. In this case, I believe Kerry was very specific about what he wanted for this moment. And for me personally, looking at this, you get a bunch of callbacks to Pyrrha’s death. But you also get a callback to Amber’s.”

And that is the end of chapter 2′s production analysis. The action was definitely absent this episode, but that is not at all a bad thing. The cinematography and character expressions this episode were the definitely what helped make the story as engaging as it was for fans, with staging as the primary means to create tension and rift between Ozpin and literally everyone else. The vfx and compositing also played quite a secondary role, specifically with Jinn’s character and her overall presence in the story. And of course, the contribution of the Dallas voice acting talent pool continues to be a pleasant treat, despite tighter schedules due to the growth of simuldubs. With the episode setting up what may potentially be a hefty backstory, it’ll be interesting to see what creative and technical choices are to be shown in chapter 3.

Methodology: Light and Shadow

The pre animating phase for me can be broken down into 5 stages.

Think of a concept – decide the main image of message of what I’m going to portray in my movie

Research how other animators or what artists have done with that concept – Reference is always a good idea while animating, whether its from the environment, live action, concept art, movement or other animations.

Choose an art direction – art direction is very important and is something I am now paying much more attention to.

Watch tutorial videos on youtube for any “How to’ I would need to research while animating - - Youtube tutorials have been my best friend over the course of my work, as there is almost tutorial for everything on animating.

Have a look at what Richard Williams says on the Animators survival kit. I ordered the paper back of this book during the course, and it has turned out to be the best decision ive made in a while.

In developing my light and shadow project, the idea was to work more on the background, lighting and animation.

To develop the background, I downloaded some free vector images from freepik.com (2020) and edited in adobe illustrator. In editing, I adjusted the lighting, position of trees, added leaves and altered the position of the components to look like its in 3D space.

Background design edited after adoption from freepik.com 

I watched videos of how fire was animated, studied the reflection of the fire’s light on surfaces and got references for poses and movement I would need. Some videos I watched of fire including Wildfire by Gobelins (2015) and and a youtube tutorial called ‘How I animate fire’ (Retro Ryno, 2017).

Wildfire - Gobelins (2015) Youtube

How to animate Fire - Retro Ryno Tutorial (2017) Youtube

For the character animation in itself,  I added more in-between frames and tried to work more on the spacing. Studying Richard Williams Animators survival kit this week, the stressed the importance timing and spacing (Williams,2009).  Other principles of animation I looked to employ were arcs, follow through and secondary action. Arcs were added in the head turn at 30 seconds In the new movie compared to heard turn at 25 seconds in the old movie. Follow through used in the hand movements and the animation of the hair.

Character head turn

For the character animation in itself,  I added more in-between frames and tried to work more on the spacing. Studying Richard Williams Animators survival kit this week, the stressed the importance timing and spacing. Other principles of animation I looked to employ were arcs, follow through and secondary action. Arcs were added in the head turn at 00:19 seconds In the new movie compared to heard turn at 00:17 seconds in the old movie. Follow through used in the hand movements and the animation of the hair.

Secondary action was used to bring the windy night scene to life.  The windy night was , characterized by movement of leaves and grass. I also the wind to blow on the main characters hair and cloth. These movements were all in singular direction to show the direction of the wind.

Gif showing the direction of the wind

I added a bit more story to the animation, I wanted to show the character walking towards and ‘Something’ and this something has a some sort of thermal/heat vision as it watches the character approach it. I uses FX effects on Toonboom harmony to look to build the thermal vision and I watched a tutorial on how thermal vision works to help me depict this. The Fx for the thermal vision can be seen from 00.27 seconds.

Tutorial of thermal Vision

Old Cut

New Cut

I added some background music to help build the suspense of what is going to happened next. Two weeks ago, I listened to Mike Wyeld talk about soundtrack design explaining how  atmosphere and music are emotive sounds. Emotive sounds are sounds heard in a video which nudge us to feel a particular way about what we see (Gabriel, 2021). 

Four categories of Sound in film. Gabriel(2011)

Refrences

Freepik,com (2020). https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/vector-landscape-with-swamp-tropical-forest_7588747.htm#page=1&query=forest%20illustration&position=22

Gabriel, E. (2011). Altered states, altered sounds: An investigation of how ‘subjective states’ are signified by the soundtrack in narrative fiction cinema. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Altered-states%2C-altered-sounds%3A-an-investigation-of-Gabriel/d41dfc5fb34068d49f5edb401ef58ddf0693d6a8

Gobelins (2015). Wildfire. Animation short film. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj7zfiMr7UI (Viewd 4th December, 2020).

Reds anatomy (2016). 001 - How To See The Heat Generated From Fire - Science Experiments Explained. Youtube. 13th January 2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IasM6kKmFgY

Retro Ryno (2017) How I animate Fire. Youtube .5th June, 2017.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETpas5GnRfc

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Rugby Star Maro Itoje Talks Politics, Art, And That Sensational World Cup Semi-Final Against New Zealand

Dubbed “The Pearl” by his teammates and “Super Maro” by the country, 25-year-old Maro Itoje is widely considered the greatest rugby player in the nation. Barrel-chested and nearly two metres tall, his relentless discipline is his not-so-secret weapon, and has cost him some formative experiences. 

The Saracens star has missed family weddings and friends’ birthdays in his pursuit of greatness – and not just on the pitch. Itoje attended boarding school at St George’s School in Harpenden before earning a sports scholarship to Harrow, where, at A-level, he achieved straight As. While studying politics at London’s School of Oriental and African Studies, he made no friends – devoting himself entirely to practice and his studies instead. 

But the sacrifices were worth it: in the World Cup semi-finals last October, England defeated New Zealand – the first time the All Blacks had lost a World Cup game since 2007. Maro was named player of the match; the crowd chanted his name throughout. Still, that doesn’t mean he wants to talk about sport. Here,  the Renaissance man tells Vogue about his life beyond the scrum.

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Was it hard to balance rugby with academics?

“It was tricky. That whole period was a time management exercise, to be honest. I had to be very disciplined about when it was time to train or to study. I missed out on a few events that I would have actually liked to go to, but I knew what my goal was, so all in all, it was 100 per cent worth it. If I went back, I’d do exactly the same.”

Where does that drive come from?

“I’ve always wanted to achieve. I’ve always wanted to be a great player. I come from a family where just being ‘good’ wasn’t good enough. I thrive on competition, and I want to put the best of myself out there.”

What’s it like going out onto the pitch for such an intense collision sport?

“It’s exciting, to be honest. Rugby is such a confrontational, physical game. You have to be dominant, so you have to be extremely physical, and the opposition are trying to do the exact same. I feel like the physical part of rugby is why it’s so loved. When someone makes a big tackle, you get excited just hearing the crowd’s volume raising. I personally look forward to it; I like it when games get a bit gritty.”

How did beating New Zealand at the World Cup semi-finals feel?

“That was a great game for the team, and myself, individually. Our mentality was to go out there and not give them any space to breathe. I think, by and large, we executed that game plan. It was definitely one of the most enjoyable and physical games I’ve played for England.”

Did you see Ross Kemp’s viral video reaction?

“I did, yeah. I don’t think I even got that excited! But it’s always nice to see things like that.”

You seem pretty apathetic when talking about rugby; would you be watching the game if you weren’t playing it?

“Without a doubt, if I wasn’t at the World Cup, I’d be waking up early to watch it. But the questions in sports media are quite repetitive, so it just gets a bit dry to talk about. Rugby is a huge, important part of my life but I have many more interests. I like listening to ’90s R&B and Afrobeats; watching biopics, documentaries, and sports like football, athletics, and basketball; and politics has always been an interest of mine.”

What are you reading and watching lately?

“The Last Dance on Netflix is phenomenal. Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime was amazing. I’m reading Alastair Campbell’s Winners: And How They Succeed, in which he talks to successful people known for winning in sport, business and politics and picks out the key principles that run through all of them. I plan on reading Tribes: How Our Need To Belong Can Make Or Break Society by David Lammy. I read a lot of nonfiction books – I’m not too good with fiction.”

Have you picked up any tips from Winners that you plan on incorporating?

“One was the importance of clear communication – you can have a great strategy or tactics or goal to achieve, but if you don’t communicate that plan clearly to your team, the message isn’t going to get through.”

You collect art; who are your favourite artists?

“I love going to the art markets in Lagos and picking up pieces from street artists who aren’t widely known. I go back about once a year and always find time to pick one or two additions; I really enjoy seeing their work. I’ve seen a lot of UK artists with a similar dynamism on Instagram too, like [Gabrielle Oke, known as] Gabee Paints (@gabeepaints), Angela Chilufya (@angelachilufya), and TJ Agbo (@teejgram).”

Can you describe your experience of being a Black student in British public boarding schools?

“I was lucky because I wasn’t navigating that space by myself; there was a group of Nigerian British boys I found myself boarding with, so I had a support network. When I moved to Harrow, it was a new environment, but still loads of Nigerian Brits, so I had people to talk through any micro-aggressions with. The best friends I had at 15 are all still my best friends. What was interesting was how right-wing the students’ and teachers’ thinking was. I think being right-wing is not necessarily a negative thing, per se, and it was interesting because I then experienced the complete opposite in SOAS. Going to institutions on two completely opposite sides of the political spectrum added a bit of balance to my formal education.”

Did you feel yourself become more right- or left-wing as a result?

“No, because at school age I was still figuring out what I believed in. And to be honest, I think sometimes the left-wing versus right-wing ideology can be extremely unhelpful because it often clouds what the right thing to do is at that particular time. If you’re governed by ideology, you’re going to make some terrible decisions. For example, if Rishi Sunak was governed by ideology, he definitely would not have created that stimulus budget and shown that support for workers and the self-employed. Obviously, it’s important to have a political framework and conviction in the things you want to achieve, but when you’re hell bent on it, ideology is very dangerous. Especially when it comes to party politics – you have to govern the whole country, so you need to appeal to people on the left and right.”

What are the political issues you care about the most?

“I care about inequality and justice – both racial and gender-related. The older I have got, the more I started to understand certain issues like feminism, which to me is just appreciating that, when breaking things down economically and sociopolitically, women face more barriers. I don’t advocate equality of outcome, but I do advocate equality of opportunity.”

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How do you describe your personal style?

“I’m a bit of an awkward size because I have long arms and shoulders, a thin waist, long legs, and big feet, so it’s not always easy to shop. I take a lot of inspiration from the ’90s era. I love granddad colours, simple neutrals like black, white, beige, cream. I like wearing designers at events but I shop mostly at ASOS or Gap.”

It’s said that you are the highest-paid rugby player in the country; what do you splurge on?

“I don’t know what other people are paid, so I can’t speak to that, but I’m a very simple guy. I’m not too flashy. I like spending my money on just the basics – a nice house, deck that out – but besides that I don’t really live a crazy life.”

No Gucci belt?

“That’s not me.”

Have you imagined life after rugby, and what you want to achieve before then?

“Hopefully, it’s still a long way away, but I would like to go into business, although I haven’t decided exactly what yet. And I want to win the next World Cup in France 2023. We came really close last year and fell short, so that’s definitely the goal.”

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. Read the full interview in the August 2020 issue of British Vogue.

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